#and my ex tried to call me earlier and just recently sent me a snapchat that i havent looked at

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Gonna complain in the tags

[xmydaysinmilanx]

A request of the boys reaction when their s/o's (the reader obvi) exs new girlfriend trying to start a fight for no reason but the s/o hates fights

The chocobro’s reactions to when their girlfriend, Y/N ex boyfriend’s new squeeze attempts to cause trouble.

Noctis:

Doesn’t really care for drama, he can’t be arsed, would rather just sleep.

Y/N mentions that her ex’s new girlfriend added her on Mooglebook, for whatever reason. Lurker probably, wants to see how much of a sloppy second she really is.

Noctis finds it a little odd but tells Y/N not to be too concerned over it.

The following night, Noctis and Y/N head to the play area in Insomnia’s best park for the day - Noctis likes to visit for the nostalgic element.

Whilst sitting on the swings with a delicious popsicle, Y/N suddenly feels a a forceful push of a palm on her back and falls to the ground.

Noctis rushes to Y/N’s side without looking at what may have caused the fall. 

Y/N has bruised her forehead and turns around to see the very girl that sent her a friend request on chocobook. In shock she shouts to Noctis and points over to her ex’s new girlfriend.

Noctis immediately tells this seemingly violent girl to take out her insecurity issues elsewhere.

When the girl tries to leap onto Y/N again, attempting to pull out a poor , crying Y/N’s hair out Noctis loses his cool and uses a warp strike to pin this very angry lady to the wall, asking her what her problem is.

Noctis doesn’t get much of an answer other than it was ‘all for fun’ because Y/N apparently cheated on her boyfriend whilst they were still together.

Noctis assures the crazy lady that Y/N and her boyfriend’s breakup was not due to anything sinister and how she should quit trying to hurt someone without knowing the facts, immediately sending her away, threatening her to back off for good or face a lifetime in a Citadel cell because he can, he’s a Prince, he does what he wants.

Noctis warps back over to Y/N, apologising for having to ‘see to the ‘sloppy second.’

He helps her up and consoles her as she’s trying hard not to cry at the fact some of her hair was actually pulled out in the process of defending herself from the unprovoked attack.

Noctis does not keep a hand off Y/N’s back for the entire day and insists she sleeps at his place for safety purposes.Gladio:

Y/N had an unexpected visitor at work today. 

Usually nothing exciting happens but Iris decided to come and help out this particular day, just to keep busy. It’s just them two on the tills today!

This visitor stared at Y/N from the shop window.

Iris would joke about Y/N’s new ‘fan’ and Y/N went along with it, disregarding the weirdness of the situation.

After an hour, this weird woman behind the window was STILL lurking, sitting on her phone, probably snapchatting her exciting, pathetic life, stalking her new boyfriend’s ex who happened to me Y/N.

Iris decides to confront the staring lady only to be shoved aside as she angrily entered the store, grabbing a water glass on the table before chucking it at Y/N, recklessly. 

Iris immediately shouts at Y/N to ‘GET OUT OF HERE, NOW, I’LL CALL MY BROTHER!’ but Y/N is having none of it, insisting she can look after herself.

Y/N decides to join in the fun and quickly finds a bottle of lemonade to throw back at the crazy lady, asking what her issue was.

Crazy lady admits she discovered Y/N.s workplace through lurking her boyfriend’s posts on Chocogram.

Y/N assures her there’s nothing to be worry about and they could be friends, how they should just chill and make love instead of war, figuratively. 

Crazy new girlfriend decides to launch herself at Y/N, revealing some hefty looking daggers. 

Y/N is terrified and runs to the back of the store, promptly locking herself in the staff room. She decides not to call Gladio, she has to figure this out on her own.

The staff room door is evidently being slashed with rage, holes appearing and tears streaming down Y/N’s face because unlike her boyfriend Gladio, she’s not that brave.

Y/N hears the sound of Iris who must of made a run for it to get help - she’s clearly accompanied by her PISSED OFF brother.

Y/N hears Gladio ‘handing over’ the aggressive woman to Iris because he doesn’t resort to violence when it comes to women but assures her that he will be informing the local authorities of the incident before casually breaking down the staff room door.

Gladio is horrified to find his sweetheart unharmed, yet soaking wet and evidently shaken from the events. He cannot stand to see her in pain, whether that be physically or mentally.

He immediately lifts her into his arms, trying to suppress his anger, assuring her it won’t happen again, thanking Iris for informing him about the event.

Gladio ensures that Y/N spends a few days recovering from the mental turmoil, insisting she does NOT step a foot into her workplace within those 3 days. 

Y/N has no idea that Gladio sought out Y/N’s ex to settle the matter, to be assured his ‘deluded’ bitch of a girfriend stays the hell away from now on, or else.

Prompto:

Prompto and Y/N are in the car, on the way to Noctis’s place for the evening.

Prompto low key loves roadtripping because it presents the perfect opportunity for capturing imagery. 

He notices the SAME car has been essentially up Y/N’s car’s arse for a while but just assures Y/N they’re likely BOTH headed the same way and it’s merely a coincidence.

Y/N is not convinced but just ‘deals’ with the prospect of being followed.

Y/N never told Prompto that she received a strange anonymous phone call from a woman threatening to ‘cut her throat dry’ unless she moved out of Insomnia to stay away from her partner; Y/N’s ex from 3 years prior to now!

Y/N begins to speed which heightens Prompto’s anxiety and he puts the camera away to keep an eye on his beloved.

Prompto is starting to get a little worried and suggests they could stop off somewhere so the ‘lurker’ will continue on ahead. 

They stop by a gas station because ‘public’ areas are extra safe in comparison to deserted fields right?

The couple are both clearly TERRIFIED, stepping out the car, linking arms, NOT looking behind them. They run into the shop and stay there for about 10 minutes before attempting to head out.

Prompto notices a figure standing by Y/N’s car and tells her to go back in the shop so he can figure out who she is from a distance.

Y/N immediately recognises the figure and sadly makes eye contact. It is indeed her ex’s psycho new girlfriend. 

The figure runs into the gas station area, fists at the ready, shouting at Y/N for being a terrible person and how she’s using Prompto to get over her ex.

Prompto shrieks, he doesn’t want to hurt a woman but she’s running over to his girlfriend so he decides to load his shotgun, altering the attention of the public.

The physco new girlfriend immediately sees the gun and flops onto the floor, begging for remorse during her ‘moment of madness.’

A panicked Y/N runs back over to the car, not thinking straight, attempting to drive off before coming to her senses, witnessing a tired Prompt sprinting his way to the car before announcing that the authorities were called by a Gas station member of staff whilst Y/N made her way out of the area. Y/N slams the breaks.

Prompto hops back into car and they immediately console one another, both shaking but happy to be out of harms way.

Prompto is a soft little ball and does not like confrontation with angry women. Ignis:

Ignis is far from stupid - he knows just about anything and everything.

He recently discovered from a reliable source that is girlfriend, Y/N was being bullied at work by a woman who is currently dating Y/N’s ex, whom she dated for 4 years prior to Ignis. 

Ignis knew the breakup was amicable and was certain that Y/N’s ex was unaware of the happenings.

The same day Ignis made the discovery, he took the rest of the day off from his royal duties to plan his next move. After all, he couldn’t bear the thought of his beloved Y/N enduring another moment of this supposed riff raff.  

Ignis enlisted the help of his best friend and confidante, Aranea highwind to act as a client at Y/N’s work, to see if Y/N was truly being bullied.

Aranea was quick to help, she adored Y/N as much as she failed to show it and could hear how enraged Ignis was at the mere thought of her being picked on. It’s not often Ignis loses his cool but he will not stand for this monstrosity. 

Communicating through an ear pierce, Aranea confirmed Ignis’s suspicions based off what had been communicated to him earlier in the day. 

As soon as Aranea mentioned that Y/N’s seat was deliberately pulled away from her as she went to sit on it, he calmly mentioned he was on his way before disconnecting the line.

Aranea quickly exited the establishment, changing back into her normal attire before witnessing Ignis pull up outside in his car, heading into the building to see Y/N being brutally kicked amongst shocked employees and customers, clearly too frightened to step in to aid Y/N. 

Aranea whipped out her spiked lance, piercing the back of the attacker, not caring about the end results of her actions, stating that she will be ‘dealt’ with before escorting her away. 

Ignis trusted Aranea to see she is punished for her actions. He picks Y/N up and rushes her to the nearest hospital via car, his calm demeanor vanished as he pleaded with the nurses to ensure she is fully recovered from the attack. 

Ignis informed Y/N’s ex of the situation and is thanked for the heads up, wishing Y/N a speedy recovery, stating how he’s glad she’s met Ignis and how he will only do right by her.

I totally rushed these but I’m tired and in between assignment writing. Enjoy! :D

[odinknows]

I’m A Celebrity: Amir Khan mocked over past split Faryal

He recently reconciled with his pregnant wife Faryal Makhdoom after a three-month split, during which he wrongly claimed she cheated on him.

And I'm A Celebrity's Rebekah Vardy teased Amir Khan over his past troubles with Faryal, asking the boxing star if Faryal ever looked through his phone.

The athlete, 30, who last month boasted that he and Faryal had 'sorted out their issues' after a series of very public online spats, joked that his wife probably did scroll through his messages.

Scroll down for video

Mischievous: I'm A Celebrity's Rebekah Vardy teased Amir Khan over his past troubles with pregnant wife Faryal, asking the boxing star if Faryal ever looked through his phone

Though Amir and Faryal have now reconciled, over the summer they very publicly hashed out their problems in bitter exchanges.

And he couldn't avoid addressing their Twitter rows, when a question about partners looking through each other's phones arose during the Dingo Dollar challenge.

The question was: 'In a recent survey, one sex admitted to looking through their partner's phones more than the other. Is it a) men or b) women.'

'Women 100 per cent. I'm 200 per cent sure,' Amir said in the scene, which was cut from tonight's show.

Claims: The athlete, 30, who last month boasted that he and Faryal had 'sorted out their issues' after a series of very public online spats, joked that his wife probably did scroll through his messages

Back together: He recently reconciled with his pregnant wife Faryal Makhdoom after a three-month split, during which he wrongly claimed she cheated on him

Georgia Toffolo pointed out that did the other campmates think that women would admit to it.

'They probably do it more but do they admit it?' Stanley said that he'd go with the crowd.

Rebekah, 35, who is no doubt aware of Amir's marriage troubles over the summer, commented that her Leicester City striker hubby Jamie Vardy could be trusted.

'My husband doesn't look thought my phone,' she said, before turning to Amir and asking: 'Does your missus look thought yours?'

Hmm: During the Dingo Dollar challenge, the celebrities were asked: 'In a recent survey, one sex admitted to looking through their partner's phones more than the other. Is it a) men or b) women'

Oh dear: Rebekah, 35, who is no doubt aware of Amir's marriage troubles over the summer, asked him: 'Does your missus look thought yours? Actually probably not the best person to ask that!'

Accusation: 'No, she's probably tried' Amir replied, while Rebekah said: 'I can't see men being bothered'

Ironic? One viewer pointed out that Amir previously posted screenshots of Snapchat messages that appeared to be between Faryal and fellow boxer Anthony Joshua. He later apologised for suggesting they had an affair

Right then: Other fans referenced the Twitter spat as they questioned Amir's claim that he had never checked his wife's phone

Sensing the loaded atmosphere, she hastily joked: 'Actually probably not the best person to ask that!'

'No, she's probably tried' Amir replied and added that he 'never' looked through his wife's phone.

'Well my wife's got my password and I've got my wife's password' said Dennis. 'Same' replied Rebekah.

'I wouldn't be fussed if she picks my phone up and goes thought it to be honest and I don't think she's that fussed if I pick hers up,' commented footballer Dennis Wise.

Claim: It comes after Amir was hit by claims that he begged a single mother for sex, just days before announcing he had got back together with his spouse

Jennie and Jamie returned to camp, incredulous that the camp got the question incorrect. 'Well we were very stereotypical. That's what happens.'

Viewers were left confused by Amir's claims that he had never looked through Faryal's phone, as in June he posted screenshots of Snapchat messages that appeared to be between Faryal and fellow boxer Anthony Joshua.

Amir later apologised for suggesting that anything was happening between the pair.

It comes after Amir was hit by claims that he begged a single mother for sex, just days before announcing he had got back together with his spouse.

The Sun reported the boxer asked ex-model Emma Bond, 27, to send him explicit videos after noticing her on Instagram, before asking to go to her home, then suggesting meeting at a hotel.

Alleged: The Sun reports the boxer, 30, asked ex-model Emma Bond, 27 (above), to send him explicit videos after noticing her on Instagram, before asking to go to her home, then suggesting meeting at a hotel

Emma told the website that Amir's alleged 'sleazy' messages were a 'turn-off' for her saying: 'It soon became clear that all he wanted was sex.

'He seemed genuine and down to earth at first. But the more I turned him down the more desperate he became.

Mail Online contacted Amir's representative for comment at the time.

It was claimed Amir first messaged Emma on Instagram in August, asking for her mobile number so he could send her Whatsapp messages.

The website reports Amir sent a message on September 21 asking Emma when they were meeting.

Reported: Emma told the website that Amir's alleged 'sleazy' messages were a 'turn-off' for her saying: 'It soon became clear that all he wanted was sex

Alleged: It was claimed Amir first messaged Emma on Instagram in August, asking for her mobile number so he could send her Whatsapp messages

On September 25 it was claimed he wrote that he wanted to see her tattoo.

On September 29, he reportedly sent another message asking if she was a 'naughty or bad gal'.

It was claimed that Emma turned down the alleged advances to which Amir reportedly wrote: 'Babe send me a video. Make it hot and sexy.'

A further message from October 14 purported to be from the Bolton-born star talks of how he has 'just come out of a relationship' and is looking to have 'fun' and 'action'.

It was claimed he begged to meet Emma and asked for her full name and hometown, to which Emma refused.

Rekindled: Amir recently reconciled with his pregnant wife Faryal Makhdoom (seen above in April)

On November 6 he reportedly told Emma he was in Manchester, and when she asked him if he was around at the weekend he allegedly replied 'OK.'

But instead of keeping the date Amir posted a photo of himself and Faryal cosying up on a sofa announcing 'With my 4 month pregnant wife, after sorting out all the issues. Closing the year with a happy ending.'

Emma, who is mother to two young children labelled Amir 'sleazy' saying 'He seemed genuine and down to earth at first. But the more I turned him down the more desperate he became.'

The claim comes as Amir admitted he feels embarrassed at the way he handled his split with Faryal who he shares 3-year-old Lamaisah with.

Ahead of his I'm A Celebrity… Get Me Outta Here appearance in Australia, thestar opened up about their turbulent relationship, in a bid to repair his public perception.

'In life you have to forgive': Ahead of his I'm A Celebrity… Get Me Outta Here appearance in Australia, the star opened up about their turbulent relationship, in a bid to repair his public perception

Speaking to The Mirror, Amir admitted: 'I think if you look at the whole situation, it was all just silly, starting with the texts, then when I accused her of messaging Joshua, it was all just nonsense really from the start.

'And then when we sat down and thought 'Look, we've got a family'. Also she's expecting so we have to think for the kids. In life you have to forgive. We have to move forward and move on from things like that.

Branding it a 'wake-up call', he continued: 'I made a few silly mistakes. I did put my life on social media, I assumed things which were wrong. So I kind of embarrassed myself.'

Amir revealed they have now put everything behind them, and are moving forward as 'one big family', with the couple even staying in his mum's spare room the night before he left for the jungle, in a bid to repair Faryal's fractured relationship with his family.

While show bosses had allegedly wanted him as a hunky single man to provoke romance on the show, Amir is said to be keen to set things straight about his turbulent relationship with Faryal.

An insider told The Sun: 'Amir's hoping he can use the show as a springboard to help rebuild some of the damaged public perception of him after his marriage split.'

And it looks like he may also be injecting the comedy factor, after he admitted he's not as brave as he seems.

Speaking to The Metro last week, the former unified light-welterweight world champion admitted: 'I am one guy who hates spiders.

'Whenever I see a spider at home, I get my sister to move it. I just don't deal with it. 'Will I scream? Yes definitely but maybe this is the time where I face my phobias!'

The reports came after the boxer confirmed he had reconciled with wife Faryal Makhdoom last week – just two months after he filed for divorce in the wake of bitter family feuds and public rows.

On Saturday Amir tweeted a picture of the couple snuggling in each other's arms on the sofa in London.

Setting the record straight: Amir is said to be keen to set things straight about his turbulent relationship with Faryal

He captioned it: 'With my 4 month pregnant wife, after sorting out all the issues. Closing the year with a happy ending'.

Only two months ago Bolton-born Khan told his fans his marriage was over.

After months of very public problems, including a family spat, rumours of a sex tape and cheating allegations Amir Khan and his wife Faryal sensationally split earlier this year.

He said in a Snapchat video on 8 September: 'So me and Faryal are not together. I have filed for a divorce.

'I hear she has just announced she is pregnant. She didn't tell me. I had to read it on social media.'

Split: Khan and Faryal pictured with their daughter Lamaisah. The couple are expecting another child in the new year

The couple, who married in 2013, had a very public falling out on Twitter earlier this year, with each side accusing the other of cheating.

Khan even accused his American wife of having an affair with heavyweight rival Anthony Joshua.

Khan hit out at his wife, writing: 'Left my family and friends for this Faryal. I'm not hurt but another fighter. I'm making it public. You getting the divorce #Golddigger.'

But Faryal hit back minutes later, claiming her husband left his family because they had 'robbed' him and telling him to 'stop making false things up'.

Branding him a '30-year-old baby', she went on to accuse him of sleeping with prostitutes and being a bad role model.

Joshua laughed off Khan's claims, posting the music video from pop star Shaggy's It Wasn't Me online, and saying he had never met Faryal.

Khan later apologised to Joshua and said there was 'no truth' to his claims.

Better days: Amir Khan and Faryal sensationally announced their marriage is over in an explosive ongoing row on Twitter in the summer (pictured in 2013 before her transformation)

Problems began last year when Khan's family said his wife, an American model, dressed improperly for a Muslim woman.

The boxer, from Bolton, who is worth £23million, announced their split in a tweet reading 'So me and the wife Faryal have agreed to split. I'm currently in Dubai. Wish her all the best'.

He was then pictured on a string of dates with various women, while a heartbroken Faryal continued her pregnancy, admitting on Instagram that to 'pretend everything was okay' to their daughter was the 'hardest thing she's ever done'.

However the two appear to have worked things out in the last week, ahead of his appearance in the jungle.

This year's line up sees MIC's Georgia Toffolo, actor Jamie Lomas, singer Vanessa White and footballer Dennis Wise, Conor Maynard's brother Jack Maynard, Soap actress Jenny McAlpine, Boris Johnson's father Stanley Johnson, comedian Shappi Khorsandi and WAG Rebecca Vardy.

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[adambstingus]

6 Guys Youll End Up Dating When Youve Been Single For Too Long

I’m writing this post from my bed.

I’m un-showered, even though I came home from CrossFit three hours ago.

I’m slugging back red wine and crushing a party size-serving of chips and salsa.

I turned my phone on silent an hour ago, just so I would stop checking to see if the guy I like has responded to the text I sent earlier.

Needless to say, I dont think you get much more single than this.

There are nights when I rejoice in it, and there are nights when I sulk in it.

Tonight, its the latter.

But as I sit here, elbow-deep in a bag of Tostitos and knuckles clenched around a topped-off glass of wine, I cant help but be grateful for this single life Ive been living for almost a year now.

Its an unexpected and for me unwanted learning experience.

I say its “unwanted” because Im the relationship type.

Ive never had a one-night stand (nor will I ever).

I like commitment.

Dating gives me anxiety because I never know what to say or do.

Should I text him first? Will he text me?

Whats the right emoji to use? Should I even use an emoji?

Let me screenshot this and send it to all my friends to see if its okay.

What should I wear?

Unwanted or not, Im on one hell of a self-learning curve.

I think its so important for every woman to have this bittersweet journey, especially in her20s.

Im learning when to keep my guard up and when to let it come crashing down.

Im learning how to be patient.

I’m learning what I like and what I dont.

Im learning so much about myself because Im finding time for myself.

Im trying new things.

I’ve joined CrossFit and hot yoga, and I quit some unhealthy habits that were crippling my self-esteem.

Ive tried tons of new restaurants completely free, thanks to first dates.

But besides learning about myself, Im learning a lot about the dating pool.

Let me tell you this: When they say there are plenty of fish in the sea, it’s true.

But the ones you want to catch are really, really hard to find. They’re borderline nonexistent.

Ive met tons of guys ranging in age, profession, personality, height, hobbies, etc.

However, after dozens and dozens of dates and hundreds of right swipes that have amounted to nothing, Ive been able to put a label on just about every single one.

Ive boiled them down to six main categories:

1. The Ex

When one relationship ends, its so easy to look back at a previous ex and question why that relationship didnt work out either.

Call it delusion or curiosity, but it always seems like a logical first step when youre single.

So, if youre both single, why not give it another whirl?

Its comfortable. Its fun.

Its your opportunity to double-check hes really not the one who got away.

When my high school sweetheart found out that my recent ex and I had ended things, he came back into my life the same way he left it: like a tornado, leaving a path of destruction in his wake.

Without getting into details for his sake (and his girlfriends, whoops), the verdict was we broke up for a reason.

Thats always a validating feeling.

In the words of my inner spirit animal, Taylor Swift, we are never, ever getting back together. Like, ever.

But hey, like I said, it cant hurt to double check.

2. The Non-Committal Charmer

Hell tell you youre exclusive, but he won’t ever make you his girlfriend.

He’ll monopolize your free time to ensure you dont spend time with anyone else, but he wont commit.

Youll never meet his friends or family, so dont even try.

He is in complete control of the relationship because you let him be.

His charm, wit and personality compel you to stay.

His goal is to perpetually keep your relationship in a hostage situation.

You want to see other people, but you dont want to put what you have at risk because its comfortable and fun.

Youre convinced that at some point, hell come to his senses.

He wont.

So, youre going to want to quit while you’re ahead. Dont waste any time.

3. The Egotistical PrickWho Plays On Your Heartstrings

Is it rough to call these people sociopaths?

Theyll do everything they can to make you like them in a short period of time.

Theyll cook you your favorite dinner, buy you nice wine and compliment you on the weird things you wish people would notice.

They make it so easy to let your guard down.

Then, one day, theyll just stop talking to you.

Theyll give you some bullsh*t excuse like theyre just “not ready for a relationship right now, or they really like you, and “it scares” them.

No, you just needed an ego trip. Or, you needed to get laid.

Or both.Whatever.

These types of guys are the reason all women are a little hesitant, confused, broken and yes crazy.

There are plenty of them out there.

4. The Former Frat Guy Who Just Cant Let Go Of College

In my opinion, these guys are the absolute worst.

This is mainly because they dont even realize theyre being the absolute worst. The naivety isnt at all charming.

He doesnt have to be a frat guy. Hes just the guy who loves college.

He cant grow up.

He loves his boys and beer pong more than he loves his job. He knows more about chugging beers than investing in a 401(k).

He has no idea how to start or maintain a conversation. His career path is questionable.

He most likely has the life goal of being a stay-at-home dad.

Thats what she said jokes are far too common, and he finds them far too funny.

While I personally havent gone on a single date with one of these guys, they exist in the masses.

So good luck, female young professionalsof America who thought men matured after college.

AsI say to my dad, “Im looking for the smartest idiot over 25.”

5. The One Youre Just Not That Into

These, for me, are the most common.

Then again, I think they’re common for everyone.

If we were into every person we met, there wouldnt be anyone special, right?

But sometimes, you really want to like someone.

He hasa great job. You love hisfriends and family. He’s funny.

You have everything in common. You can text all day and never run out of things to talk about.

Your Snapchat exchanges keep you laughing all day long.

He’s proud of you. He cares about you.

Youre even a perfect match (according to the stars).

But, you just arent into this person, no matter how hard you try to be.

While relationships take effort, you should never force yourself to fall for someone because you think you’d be great together.

It’s a recipe for disaster and heartbreak, and that’s one sad situationI won’t ever willingly walk into.

So when you find yourself in this kind of mess, you have to break the ice.

It’s unfair to string the other person along when he’s clearly feeling all the emotions you wish you could.

When you’re dating someone youre not into, but whom you love as a human being, breaking the ice is a double-edged sword.

You both end up hurt and bummed.

6.The One

Every person I talk to tells me the one will walk into my life when I least expect it.

It wont be because I spent my entire lunch break swiping left and right (mostly left).

It wont be because I asked my co-workers, friends, family and acquaintances if they know someone else whos completely exhausted by the routine dating scene.

It certainly wont be because I got drunk enough to get the nerve to walk up to a guy and strike up a random conversation.

No way, not me.

Im told Ill meet someone in a sweet form of serendipity.

Ill accidentally spill my coffee on him at Starbucks.

Well bond over the fresh produce at Trader Joes.

Well be at the same bar for happy hour.

Something will happen.

When that something does, in fact, happen, all those heartbreaks, mistakes, moments of weakness and feelings of guilt will wash away.

You won’t question whether your guard should be up or down. What or when to text won’t be a thought.

Everything will slip into place.

Because as everyone always says, “When you know, you know.”

So until then, my advice to every single woman out there is this: Be a lady.

Be fearless, but not careless.

Be willing to love and unafraid to get hurt.

Put yourself out there. Learn to love yourself.

Discover hobbies that fill your time.

But this is the most important piece of advice of all: Never ever settle for any of the five who come before “the one.”

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/09/27/6-guys-youll-end-up-dating-when-youve-been-single-for-too-long/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/165810005762

[samanthasroberts]

6 Guys Youll End Up Dating When Youve Been Single For Too Long

I’m writing this post from my bed.

I’m un-showered, even though I came home from CrossFit three hours ago.

I’m slugging back red wine and crushing a party size-serving of chips and salsa.

I turned my phone on silent an hour ago, just so I would stop checking to see if the guy I like has responded to the text I sent earlier.

Needless to say, I dont think you get much more single than this.

There are nights when I rejoice in it, and there are nights when I sulk in it.

Tonight, its the latter.

But as I sit here, elbow-deep in a bag of Tostitos and knuckles clenched around a topped-off glass of wine, I cant help but be grateful for this single life Ive been living for almost a year now.

Its an unexpected and for me unwanted learning experience.

I say its “unwanted” because Im the relationship type.

Ive never had a one-night stand (nor will I ever).

I like commitment.

Dating gives me anxiety because I never know what to say or do.

Should I text him first? Will he text me?

Whats the right emoji to use? Should I even use an emoji?

Let me screenshot this and send it to all my friends to see if its okay.

What should I wear?

Unwanted or not, Im on one hell of a self-learning curve.

I think its so important for every woman to have this bittersweet journey, especially in her20s.

Im learning when to keep my guard up and when to let it come crashing down.

Im learning how to be patient.

I’m learning what I like and what I dont.

Im learning so much about myself because Im finding time for myself.

Im trying new things.

I’ve joined CrossFit and hot yoga, and I quit some unhealthy habits that were crippling my self-esteem.

Ive tried tons of new restaurants completely free, thanks to first dates.

But besides learning about myself, Im learning a lot about the dating pool.

Let me tell you this: When they say there are plenty of fish in the sea, it’s true.

But the ones you want to catch are really, really hard to find. They’re borderline nonexistent.

Ive met tons of guys ranging in age, profession, personality, height, hobbies, etc.

However, after dozens and dozens of dates and hundreds of right swipes that have amounted to nothing, Ive been able to put a label on just about every single one.

Ive boiled them down to six main categories:

1. The Ex

When one relationship ends, its so easy to look back at a previous ex and question why that relationship didnt work out either.

Call it delusion or curiosity, but it always seems like a logical first step when youre single.

So, if youre both single, why not give it another whirl?

Its comfortable. Its fun.

Its your opportunity to double-check hes really not the one who got away.

When my high school sweetheart found out that my recent ex and I had ended things, he came back into my life the same way he left it: like a tornado, leaving a path of destruction in his wake.

Without getting into details for his sake (and his girlfriends, whoops), the verdict was we broke up for a reason.

Thats always a validating feeling.

In the words of my inner spirit animal, Taylor Swift, we are never, ever getting back together. Like, ever.

But hey, like I said, it cant hurt to double check.

2. The Non-Committal Charmer

Hell tell you youre exclusive, but he won’t ever make you his girlfriend.

He’ll monopolize your free time to ensure you dont spend time with anyone else, but he wont commit.

Youll never meet his friends or family, so dont even try.

He is in complete control of the relationship because you let him be.

His charm, wit and personality compel you to stay.

His goal is to perpetually keep your relationship in a hostage situation.

You want to see other people, but you dont want to put what you have at risk because its comfortable and fun.

Youre convinced that at some point, hell come to his senses.

He wont.

So, youre going to want to quit while you’re ahead. Dont waste any time.

3. The Egotistical PrickWho Plays On Your Heartstrings

Is it rough to call these people sociopaths?

Theyll do everything they can to make you like them in a short period of time.

Theyll cook you your favorite dinner, buy you nice wine and compliment you on the weird things you wish people would notice.

They make it so easy to let your guard down.

Then, one day, theyll just stop talking to you.

Theyll give you some bullsh*t excuse like theyre just “not ready for a relationship right now, or they really like you, and “it scares” them.

No, you just needed an ego trip. Or, you needed to get laid.

Or both.Whatever.

These types of guys are the reason all women are a little hesitant, confused, broken and yes crazy.

There are plenty of them out there.

4. The Former Frat Guy Who Just Cant Let Go Of College

In my opinion, these guys are the absolute worst.

This is mainly because they dont even realize theyre being the absolute worst. The naivety isnt at all charming.

He doesnt have to be a frat guy. Hes just the guy who loves college.

He cant grow up.

He loves his boys and beer pong more than he loves his job. He knows more about chugging beers than investing in a 401(k).

He has no idea how to start or maintain a conversation. His career path is questionable.

He most likely has the life goal of being a stay-at-home dad.

Thats what she said jokes are far too common, and he finds them far too funny.

While I personally havent gone on a single date with one of these guys, they exist in the masses.

So good luck, female young professionalsof America who thought men matured after college.

AsI say to my dad, “Im looking for the smartest idiot over 25.”

5. The One Youre Just Not That Into

These, for me, are the most common.

Then again, I think they’re common for everyone.

If we were into every person we met, there wouldnt be anyone special, right?

But sometimes, you really want to like someone.

He hasa great job. You love hisfriends and family. He’s funny.

You have everything in common. You can text all day and never run out of things to talk about.

Your Snapchat exchanges keep you laughing all day long.

He’s proud of you. He cares about you.

Youre even a perfect match (according to the stars).

But, you just arent into this person, no matter how hard you try to be.

While relationships take effort, you should never force yourself to fall for someone because you think you’d be great together.

It’s a recipe for disaster and heartbreak, and that’s one sad situationI won’t ever willingly walk into.

So when you find yourself in this kind of mess, you have to break the ice.

It’s unfair to string the other person along when he’s clearly feeling all the emotions you wish you could.

When you’re dating someone youre not into, but whom you love as a human being, breaking the ice is a double-edged sword.

You both end up hurt and bummed.

6.The One

Every person I talk to tells me the one will walk into my life when I least expect it.

It wont be because I spent my entire lunch break swiping left and right (mostly left).

It wont be because I asked my co-workers, friends, family and acquaintances if they know someone else whos completely exhausted by the routine dating scene.

It certainly wont be because I got drunk enough to get the nerve to walk up to a guy and strike up a random conversation.

No way, not me.

Im told Ill meet someone in a sweet form of serendipity.

Ill accidentally spill my coffee on him at Starbucks.

Well bond over the fresh produce at Trader Joes.

Well be at the same bar for happy hour.

Something will happen.

When that something does, in fact, happen, all those heartbreaks, mistakes, moments of weakness and feelings of guilt will wash away.

You won’t question whether your guard should be up or down. What or when to text won’t be a thought.

Everything will slip into place.

Because as everyone always says, “When you know, you know.”

So until then, my advice to every single woman out there is this: Be a lady.

Be fearless, but not careless.

Be willing to love and unafraid to get hurt.

Put yourself out there. Learn to love yourself.

Discover hobbies that fill your time.

But this is the most important piece of advice of all: Never ever settle for any of the five who come before “the one.”

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/09/27/6-guys-youll-end-up-dating-when-youve-been-single-for-too-long/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/09/27/6-guys-youll-end-up-dating-when-youve-been-single-for-too-long/

[jimdsmith34]

6 Guys Youll End Up Dating When Youve Been Single For Too Long

I’m writing this post from my bed.

I’m un-showered, even though I came home from CrossFit three hours ago.

I’m slugging back red wine and crushing a party size-serving of chips and salsa.

I turned my phone on silent an hour ago, just so I would stop checking to see if the guy I like has responded to the text I sent earlier.

Needless to say, I dont think you get much more single than this.

There are nights when I rejoice in it, and there are nights when I sulk in it.

Tonight, its the latter.

But as I sit here, elbow-deep in a bag of Tostitos and knuckles clenched around a topped-off glass of wine, I cant help but be grateful for this single life Ive been living for almost a year now.

Its an unexpected and for me unwanted learning experience.

I say its “unwanted” because Im the relationship type.

Ive never had a one-night stand (nor will I ever).

I like commitment.

Dating gives me anxiety because I never know what to say or do.

Should I text him first? Will he text me?

Whats the right emoji to use? Should I even use an emoji?

Let me screenshot this and send it to all my friends to see if its okay.

What should I wear?

Unwanted or not, Im on one hell of a self-learning curve.

I think its so important for every woman to have this bittersweet journey, especially in her20s.

Im learning when to keep my guard up and when to let it come crashing down.

Im learning how to be patient.

I’m learning what I like and what I dont.

Im learning so much about myself because Im finding time for myself.

Im trying new things.

I’ve joined CrossFit and hot yoga, and I quit some unhealthy habits that were crippling my self-esteem.

Ive tried tons of new restaurants completely free, thanks to first dates.

But besides learning about myself, Im learning a lot about the dating pool.

Let me tell you this: When they say there are plenty of fish in the sea, it’s true.

But the ones you want to catch are really, really hard to find. They’re borderline nonexistent.

Ive met tons of guys ranging in age, profession, personality, height, hobbies, etc.

However, after dozens and dozens of dates and hundreds of right swipes that have amounted to nothing, Ive been able to put a label on just about every single one.

Ive boiled them down to six main categories:

1. The Ex

When one relationship ends, its so easy to look back at a previous ex and question why that relationship didnt work out either.

Call it delusion or curiosity, but it always seems like a logical first step when youre single.

So, if youre both single, why not give it another whirl?

Its comfortable. Its fun.

Its your opportunity to double-check hes really not the one who got away.

When my high school sweetheart found out that my recent ex and I had ended things, he came back into my life the same way he left it: like a tornado, leaving a path of destruction in his wake.

Without getting into details for his sake (and his girlfriends, whoops), the verdict was we broke up for a reason.

Thats always a validating feeling.

In the words of my inner spirit animal, Taylor Swift, we are never, ever getting back together. Like, ever.

But hey, like I said, it cant hurt to double check.

2. The Non-Committal Charmer

Hell tell you youre exclusive, but he won’t ever make you his girlfriend.

He’ll monopolize your free time to ensure you dont spend time with anyone else, but he wont commit.

Youll never meet his friends or family, so dont even try.

He is in complete control of the relationship because you let him be.

His charm, wit and personality compel you to stay.

His goal is to perpetually keep your relationship in a hostage situation.

You want to see other people, but you dont want to put what you have at risk because its comfortable and fun.

Youre convinced that at some point, hell come to his senses.

He wont.

So, youre going to want to quit while you’re ahead. Dont waste any time.

3. The Egotistical PrickWho Plays On Your Heartstrings

Is it rough to call these people sociopaths?

Theyll do everything they can to make you like them in a short period of time.

Theyll cook you your favorite dinner, buy you nice wine and compliment you on the weird things you wish people would notice.

They make it so easy to let your guard down.

Then, one day, theyll just stop talking to you.

Theyll give you some bullsh*t excuse like theyre just “not ready for a relationship right now, or they really like you, and “it scares” them.

No, you just needed an ego trip. Or, you needed to get laid.

Or both.Whatever.

These types of guys are the reason all women are a little hesitant, confused, broken and yes crazy.

There are plenty of them out there.

4. The Former Frat Guy Who Just Cant Let Go Of College

In my opinion, these guys are the absolute worst.

This is mainly because they dont even realize theyre being the absolute worst. The naivety isnt at all charming.

He doesnt have to be a frat guy. Hes just the guy who loves college.

He cant grow up.

He loves his boys and beer pong more than he loves his job. He knows more about chugging beers than investing in a 401(k).

He has no idea how to start or maintain a conversation. His career path is questionable.

He most likely has the life goal of being a stay-at-home dad.

Thats what she said jokes are far too common, and he finds them far too funny.

While I personally havent gone on a single date with one of these guys, they exist in the masses.

So good luck, female young professionalsof America who thought men matured after college.

AsI say to my dad, “Im looking for the smartest idiot over 25.”

5. The One Youre Just Not That Into

These, for me, are the most common.

Then again, I think they’re common for everyone.

If we were into every person we met, there wouldnt be anyone special, right?

But sometimes, you really want to like someone.

He hasa great job. You love hisfriends and family. He’s funny.

You have everything in common. You can text all day and never run out of things to talk about.

Your Snapchat exchanges keep you laughing all day long.

He’s proud of you. He cares about you.

Youre even a perfect match (according to the stars).

But, you just arent into this person, no matter how hard you try to be.

While relationships take effort, you should never force yourself to fall for someone because you think you’d be great together.

It’s a recipe for disaster and heartbreak, and that’s one sad situationI won’t ever willingly walk into.

So when you find yourself in this kind of mess, you have to break the ice.

It’s unfair to string the other person along when he’s clearly feeling all the emotions you wish you could.

When you’re dating someone youre not into, but whom you love as a human being, breaking the ice is a double-edged sword.

You both end up hurt and bummed.

6.The One

Every person I talk to tells me the one will walk into my life when I least expect it.

It wont be because I spent my entire lunch break swiping left and right (mostly left).

It wont be because I asked my co-workers, friends, family and acquaintances if they know someone else whos completely exhausted by the routine dating scene.

It certainly wont be because I got drunk enough to get the nerve to walk up to a guy and strike up a random conversation.

No way, not me.

Im told Ill meet someone in a sweet form of serendipity.

Ill accidentally spill my coffee on him at Starbucks.

Well bond over the fresh produce at Trader Joes.

Well be at the same bar for happy hour.

Something will happen.

When that something does, in fact, happen, all those heartbreaks, mistakes, moments of weakness and feelings of guilt will wash away.

You won’t question whether your guard should be up or down. What or when to text won’t be a thought.

Everything will slip into place.

Because as everyone always says, “When you know, you know.”

So until then, my advice to every single woman out there is this: Be a lady.

Be fearless, but not careless.

Be willing to love and unafraid to get hurt.

Put yourself out there. Learn to love yourself.

Discover hobbies that fill your time.

But this is the most important piece of advice of all: Never ever settle for any of the five who come before “the one.”

source http://allofbeer.com/2017/09/27/6-guys-youll-end-up-dating-when-youve-been-single-for-too-long/ from All of Beer http://allofbeer.blogspot.com/2017/09/6-guys-youll-end-up-dating-when-youve.html

[allofbeercom]

6 Guys Youll End Up Dating When Youve Been Single For Too Long

I’m writing this post from my bed.

I’m un-showered, even though I came home from CrossFit three hours ago.

I’m slugging back red wine and crushing a party size-serving of chips and salsa.

I turned my phone on silent an hour ago, just so I would stop checking to see if the guy I like has responded to the text I sent earlier.

Needless to say, I dont think you get much more single than this.

There are nights when I rejoice in it, and there are nights when I sulk in it.

Tonight, its the latter.

But as I sit here, elbow-deep in a bag of Tostitos and knuckles clenched around a topped-off glass of wine, I cant help but be grateful for this single life Ive been living for almost a year now.

Its an unexpected and for me unwanted learning experience.

I say its “unwanted” because Im the relationship type.

Ive never had a one-night stand (nor will I ever).

I like commitment.

Dating gives me anxiety because I never know what to say or do.

Should I text him first? Will he text me?

Whats the right emoji to use? Should I even use an emoji?

Let me screenshot this and send it to all my friends to see if its okay.

What should I wear?

Unwanted or not, Im on one hell of a self-learning curve.

I think its so important for every woman to have this bittersweet journey, especially in her20s.

Im learning when to keep my guard up and when to let it come crashing down.

Im learning how to be patient.

I’m learning what I like and what I dont.

Im learning so much about myself because Im finding time for myself.

Im trying new things.

I’ve joined CrossFit and hot yoga, and I quit some unhealthy habits that were crippling my self-esteem.

Ive tried tons of new restaurants completely free, thanks to first dates.

But besides learning about myself, Im learning a lot about the dating pool.

Let me tell you this: When they say there are plenty of fish in the sea, it’s true.

But the ones you want to catch are really, really hard to find. They’re borderline nonexistent.

Ive met tons of guys ranging in age, profession, personality, height, hobbies, etc.

However, after dozens and dozens of dates and hundreds of right swipes that have amounted to nothing, Ive been able to put a label on just about every single one.

Ive boiled them down to six main categories:

1. The Ex

When one relationship ends, its so easy to look back at a previous ex and question why that relationship didnt work out either.

Call it delusion or curiosity, but it always seems like a logical first step when youre single.

So, if youre both single, why not give it another whirl?

Its comfortable. Its fun.

Its your opportunity to double-check hes really not the one who got away.

When my high school sweetheart found out that my recent ex and I had ended things, he came back into my life the same way he left it: like a tornado, leaving a path of destruction in his wake.

Without getting into details for his sake (and his girlfriends, whoops), the verdict was we broke up for a reason.

Thats always a validating feeling.

In the words of my inner spirit animal, Taylor Swift, we are never, ever getting back together. Like, ever.

But hey, like I said, it cant hurt to double check.

2. The Non-Committal Charmer

Hell tell you youre exclusive, but he won’t ever make you his girlfriend.

He’ll monopolize your free time to ensure you dont spend time with anyone else, but he wont commit.

Youll never meet his friends or family, so dont even try.

He is in complete control of the relationship because you let him be.

His charm, wit and personality compel you to stay.

His goal is to perpetually keep your relationship in a hostage situation.

You want to see other people, but you dont want to put what you have at risk because its comfortable and fun.

Youre convinced that at some point, hell come to his senses.

He wont.

So, youre going to want to quit while you’re ahead. Dont waste any time.

3. The Egotistical PrickWho Plays On Your Heartstrings

Is it rough to call these people sociopaths?

Theyll do everything they can to make you like them in a short period of time.

Theyll cook you your favorite dinner, buy you nice wine and compliment you on the weird things you wish people would notice.

They make it so easy to let your guard down.

Then, one day, theyll just stop talking to you.

Theyll give you some bullsh*t excuse like theyre just “not ready for a relationship right now, or they really like you, and “it scares” them.

No, you just needed an ego trip. Or, you needed to get laid.

Or both.Whatever.

These types of guys are the reason all women are a little hesitant, confused, broken and yes crazy.

There are plenty of them out there.

4. The Former Frat Guy Who Just Cant Let Go Of College

In my opinion, these guys are the absolute worst.

This is mainly because they dont even realize theyre being the absolute worst. The naivety isnt at all charming.

He doesnt have to be a frat guy. Hes just the guy who loves college.

He cant grow up.

He loves his boys and beer pong more than he loves his job. He knows more about chugging beers than investing in a 401(k).

He has no idea how to start or maintain a conversation. His career path is questionable.

He most likely has the life goal of being a stay-at-home dad.

Thats what she said jokes are far too common, and he finds them far too funny.

While I personally havent gone on a single date with one of these guys, they exist in the masses.

So good luck, female young professionalsof America who thought men matured after college.

AsI say to my dad, “Im looking for the smartest idiot over 25.”

5. The One Youre Just Not That Into

These, for me, are the most common.

Then again, I think they’re common for everyone.

If we were into every person we met, there wouldnt be anyone special, right?

But sometimes, you really want to like someone.

He hasa great job. You love hisfriends and family. He’s funny.

You have everything in common. You can text all day and never run out of things to talk about.

Your Snapchat exchanges keep you laughing all day long.

He’s proud of you. He cares about you.

Youre even a perfect match (according to the stars).

But, you just arent into this person, no matter how hard you try to be.

While relationships take effort, you should never force yourself to fall for someone because you think you’d be great together.

It’s a recipe for disaster and heartbreak, and that’s one sad situationI won’t ever willingly walk into.

So when you find yourself in this kind of mess, you have to break the ice.

It’s unfair to string the other person along when he’s clearly feeling all the emotions you wish you could.

When you’re dating someone youre not into, but whom you love as a human being, breaking the ice is a double-edged sword.

You both end up hurt and bummed.

6.The One

Every person I talk to tells me the one will walk into my life when I least expect it.

It wont be because I spent my entire lunch break swiping left and right (mostly left).

It wont be because I asked my co-workers, friends, family and acquaintances if they know someone else whos completely exhausted by the routine dating scene.

It certainly wont be because I got drunk enough to get the nerve to walk up to a guy and strike up a random conversation.

No way, not me.

Im told Ill meet someone in a sweet form of serendipity.

Ill accidentally spill my coffee on him at Starbucks.

Well bond over the fresh produce at Trader Joes.

Well be at the same bar for happy hour.

Something will happen.

When that something does, in fact, happen, all those heartbreaks, mistakes, moments of weakness and feelings of guilt will wash away.

You won’t question whether your guard should be up or down. What or when to text won’t be a thought.

Everything will slip into place.

Because as everyone always says, “When you know, you know.”

So until then, my advice to every single woman out there is this: Be a lady.

Be fearless, but not careless.

Be willing to love and unafraid to get hurt.

Put yourself out there. Learn to love yourself.

Discover hobbies that fill your time.

But this is the most important piece of advice of all: Never ever settle for any of the five who come before “the one.”

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/09/27/6-guys-youll-end-up-dating-when-youve-been-single-for-too-long/