#and my mom is still bed bound and can't

[beauty-grace-outer-space]

There’s a suuuuper good chance I just lose my shit entirely this weekend.

[thebearer]

making the bed |carmen berzatto x reader| part one

prompt: carmen's stressed. food critics, a newborn baby, balancing work life and married life and now dad life; he's bound to break, everyone knows it. but no one ever thought he'd lash out on you.

or, part one of the devastation fic. based off this ask from the other day. two more parts to come.

contains: mega angst. mega angst, with no resolution in this part. hurt, no comfort (in this chapter, will be later in part 3). mean!carmen, very mean. mom!reader x dad!carmen with newborn teddy. fighting, language, carmen says mean stuff he doesn't mean. past mentions of trauma, family trauma, mikey mentioned. very angsty and a little heavy, please read at your own discretion. word count- 3.5k+.

"Are you ok?"

Carmen now understood why that phrase used to send Donna into such a blind rage, lips pursing and jaw clenching more and more every time he heard it. First at work, then with you, it felt never ending.

It was beginning to feel like critic season with how many were coming in, snooty and demanding to be impressed. It couldn't have come at a worst time, right in the middle of busy season with the start of the holidays. Days at The Bear were filled with frantic panic, running around, making sure everything was perfect, accounted for, and Carmen always had the sinking feeling it wasn't- that he'd forgotten something, messed something up. 

It wasn't rare for him to work himself up like this, a normal that you always warned him about, but he'd always had a solitude. As long as he'd known you, he'd had a place to go, to unwind, to let himself rest and reset with you. And he still did, it was just shared now with a newborn.

Dorothea Michelle. Teddy, for short. The light of his life, yours too. Nearly two months old with a set of lungs that sounded much louder, much more developed than that. Nights were long, sleepless, spent trying to lull Teddy back to sleep, awake even if he wasn't up with her. Carmen couldn't allow himself the selfishness to relax, to rewind, to "take it easy" like everyone told him to. At work, he was the boss; at home, he was a dad.

"Fuck, fuck," Carmen's sleepy stare was broken by a lick of bubbling heat, the lamb's roux popping with the high heat, splashing all over Carmen's chef whites.

"Jeff, c'mon," Tina clicked, shaking her head, moving the pan to lower heat. "What're you doin'?"

Carmen grit his teeth, snatching a rag off the stainless steel counter tops, scrubbing the burgundy stain, huffing when it only spread the stain.

"What happened?" Sydney turned, looking from the burnt sauce to Carmen's stained chef shirt. "Oh,"

"Do we have a spare coat?" Carmen huffed, throwing the rag down with a firm smack against the counter.

"I don't think so, Carm." Sydney shook her head. "You took the last ones home with you two days ago. The wine-"

"-I know, Chef, I know." Carmen snapped, running a hand through his hair. "Fuck, I-I can't fuckin' serve the critics lookin' like this. With shit all over me- fuck."

"Hey, easy, easy," Richie turned the corner, his hands held up. "What's goin' on?"

"Jeff got sauce over him. He doesn't have any clean clothes." Tina muttered, irritated that she had to fix his mess, more irritated that he wasn't taking care of himself. You have a baby, Jeff, you need to rest and take some time, she'd told him. Carmen only waved her off.

"Okay, okay, hey, that's no problem." Richie's voice raised, lifting over Carmen's. "You go home and change, get your spare, check on my beautiful goddaughter, and then come back with your A game. Yes?"

Carmen didn't even humor him with a snarky remark, yanking his coat off and stomping towards the office to grab his things. Richie and Tina looked at each other, shaking their head gently.

"Kids runnin' thin, T." Richie muttered with a sigh. "He's gonna break. It's gonna be bad."

"Yeah, he is. Gonna wear himself out before then." Tina shook her head. "Jeff needs a vacation." They both jumped at the slamming of the backdoor, Carmen's angry exit shaking the foundation.

"Needs to be fuckin' medicated. Fuckin' lunatic." Richie scoffed, rolling his eyes at Carmen's dramatics.

The drive home was filled with silence, Carmen's iron grip on the wheel, tearing through the traffic towards the house- his house, his home. 

Home, but it didn't provide the same comfort that it usually did. Carmen's shoulders still stayed tense, buzzing with rage, not dissipating when he thought of you, or of Teddy, knowing you'd both be there, excited to see him. 

You jumped at the sound of the car door slamming, peeking out the window to see Carmen's parked next to yours, furiously stomping up the front steps. You frowned, grabbing the baby monitor, walking towards the front door.

Carmen nearly hit you with how fiercely he flung the door open. "Woah," You reached for the door, stopping it before he could flick it shut. "Carm, don't slam it. Teddy's asleep. I just got her down." You frowned at him, shutting it slowly.

Carmen looked at you but didn't speak, looking through you with a rage that had your spine tingling before he finally broke his gaze, stomping towards the laundry room. "Carm? What’re you doing home? Don’t you have dinner soon?" You hesitated slightly, lingering in the doorway with an uncertainty you hadn’t felt with Carmen before. 

Carmen didn’t answer, his jaw still ground tight while he rummaged through the clean clothes, carelessly unfolding and shifting the folded clothes.

"Carmen," You said more firmly, caching his gaze. He didn't speak still, just stared at you- through you. "Are you ok?" You lifted a brow, features softening in worry.

Carmen paused, eyes closing, shoulders tensing in agitation. Are you ok? His ears rang, a familiar rage that he hadn't felt in years bubbling up deep in his chest. Frustrated and blinding and rampant, heat rushing through his veins, pulling himself further and further from reality into someplace different- someplace darker in his mind. 

"What's wrong?" You pressed, he could barely hear it, ears ringing at your question. "Did something happen? Did the critic come-"

"-Where's my chef whites?" Carmen barked, cutting you off, his chest tightening more and more with every heavy heave of his chest. You flinched at his tone.

"Uh, I-I haven't seen the whites. I washed your white tee-"

“-You what? Y-You what?” Carmen spat, eye widening with a wild, raged glint in his eye. Your stomach flipped and fell with fear, stepping back instinctively. 

“I-I washed your tee, Carm, that’s all that you left in the laundry basket-” 

"-Are you fucking kidding me?" Carmen boomed, his head spinning, body buzzing with rage. Your breath hitched, frozen in fear at the anger in his tone, the roar of his voice bouncing off the walls, echoing through your ears in a painful drum. 

Carmen moved, snatching the dirty clothes basket, dumping it into the ground with a shake until the dirty chef coat fell on top. He gripped the basket, flinging it across the room with a hard throw. The final push to his bad mood that sent him right over the edge, crashing into a pit of blinding fury, aggravation, breaking him from the inside out.

"Fuck!" Carmen roared, his voice shaking the walls, your breath leaving your lungs in a trembling exhale of fear. “Fuck, fuck, fuck! This is- This is- Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me?” 

You tensed in shock, gripping the baby monitor in fear, maybe surprise, as it started to buzz to life with Teddy's startled whimpers. Her small cries pulled you out of your frozen state, something deeper than fear replacing the ache in your stomach. 

"Carmen-" You gaped, voice wobbling with uncertainty, taking slow shuffled steps towards the stairs. “Carmen, calm-calm down. Ok? Calm down.” 

“Calm down? You want me to fuckin’ calm down?” Carmen sneered, an angry red flush blossoming in splotchy deep hues up his neck, towards his cheeks. “You don’t do shit, nothin’ that I fuckin’ ask for! Just sit around all fuckin’ day an-and I’m supposed to calm down?” 

“Carmen,” Your voice wobbled, throat tight with tears, hurt and fear strangling your words. “I-You didn’t ask me to wash them. I-I didn’t know. They weren’t in the hamper-” 

“-I shouldn’t have to ask you to wash them!” Carmen roared, eyes so wide you thought they might pop right out of his head, neck vein protruding on exemplifying his rage. “You know what I’m going through! You know how much fuckin’ stress I’m under! I go to that-that shit hole, an-and work my fuckin’ ass off so you don’t have to! Then I come home, and I-I can’t even get a second of peace!” 

“Stop,” You hiss, finally regaining your composure, his words fully sinking into you  now, feeling the full effect of them. “I-I just had a baby. I’m still on maternity leave taking care of a baby- our baby, and I’m tired too. But I’m not yelling at you-” 

“-Oh, right. Right.” Carmen laughs sarcastically, humorless as he runs his hand down his face. It felt mocking, left you feeling small and too vulnerable for your liking. “Because in between your napping an-and feeding, you couldn’t stick a fucking jacket in the wash, right? You’re so busy.”  

“What is wrong with you?” You snap, hoping he can’t hear the tears in your voice, the way your voice shakes with emotion. 

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with me?” Carmen scoffs, throwing his hands out. “I get no fuckin' sleep, go work my fuckin' ass off, a-and then I come home so I can go back and work my ass off some more, and-and you can’t do one simple fuckin’ thing? You can’t help me out? And then you wanna know what’s wrong with me? When you sit on your ass all fuckin’ day-” 

Teddy’s piercing wail pulls you out of your shocked trance, nose and throat burning with hurt filled tears you refuse to shed. Instead, you turn, climbing the stairs on shaky legs, the sound of Teddy’s cries growing louder and louder. Anchovy watches you from the top of the stairs, sensing the tension, your upset, sliding against your leg as if to comfort you. 

Carmen scoffs, hands buzzing and trembling with rage, the ringing in his ears growing louder and louder with each of your footsteps on the stairs and down the hall. He can barely hear Teddy’s sobs, hands threading through his hair, pulling at his scalp. He sees you walk towards the bedroom, quickly, hugging Teddy to your chest. 

“Oh, don’t go fuckin’ do it now!” Carmen roared, your ignoring him only infuriating him further. “It won’t be ready in time now. I’ll just look like a fuckin’ idiot for the critic tonight! Not that you care! Why would you, huh? I-I mean just our livelihood, just our fuckin’ income!” 

You swallowed back your tears, head tilting towards the ceiling, hands shaking with every shove of your things into the overnight bag. Just enough to get you through the night, the next day. A few essentials, Teddy’s spare onesies, a charger, your wallet- you stopped mid-shove of your items into the weekender bag, the sun’s rays catching in your wedding ring. Your heart fell, more and more, you weren’t sure how that was even possible. 

Carmen’s furious voice was still booming from downstairs, ringing and shaking in his furious fit. Richie and Sugar both warned you about Carmen’s tantrums, brought them up to embarrass him, tease him about it until he was red faced and hissing hushed threats at them. You never, never in your wildest dreams thought you’d be on the receiving end of one. 

You jumped, another slam of something Carmen had thrown, maybe hit in a fit of rage, causing Teddy to wail louder, Anchovy skittering nervously away. Tears leaked out of your eyes, twisting the ring off your finger, setting it on Carmen’s bedside table. Pulling the carrier out of the closet, Anchovy got in much easier than usual, which you were thankful for. 

Carmen was gripping the marble of the countertop when he heard you again, walking from the bottom of the stairs, quick steps towards the door to the garage, Teddy’s voice nearly hoarse from her crying. You kept your head high, tunnel-visioned towards your car, ignoring his heavy breathing and frantic pacing. 

“Wha-What are you doin’?” Carmen’s voice was softer now, still with a jagged edge that was cutting and harsh. The car door opened, the baby carrier hooked into the car seat. 

“Hey, wha- what are you- where’re you goin’? What’re you doin’?” Carmen’s heart dropped in a damning rush of hour, stumbling on heavy legs towards the garage. You ignored him, shushing Teddy gently, running a calming hand over her wet cheek, trying to coax her paci into her mouth. 

“Baby, no-no, no. Hey, no, I-I- What-” Carmen’s chest felt tight, mind numbing and racing, stuttering nervously. You reached for your bag, his hand reaching to grab the strap. “Whe-Where’re you-”

“-Don’t touch me.” You hissed, teeth bared, eyes shining with tears. Carmen flinched, pulling his hand back like he’d touched a hot stove. “Don’t you dare fucking touch me.” You sneered, pinning him with a watery glare that had his stomach turning in sickening fear. 

“Baby, hey, w-wait-C’mon, d-don’t-You don’t, you don’t need to do this, ok? I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Carmen choked out the words, frantic and unsure, his hands shaking when they ghosted over you back just for a moment. Wanting to touch you, to hold you, to grab you and keep you from leaving, but too scared to. Instead, he grabbed the car door you flung open, holding it when you tried to yank it closed. 

“Let go.” You hissed, sniffling back wet, snotty tears of fury and hurt. 

“Please, don’t-do-don’t do this. Please, baby, I-I’m sorry.” Carmen begged, blue eyes deepening with the burning red hues of tears, bloodshot and lashes wet. “Don’t-Don’t do this-” 

“-I didn’t do this.” You sneered, leaving Carmen flinching at your words. “Don’t you dare try to say this was me. After how you just talked to me? The shit you said to me in there? You think I’m going to stay?” Your voice cracked with emotion, lips pressing together to keep a cry in. 

“No, no, no, no, no, baby, please. Please, ju-just come inside. Come inside, please? Please, don’t-” 

“You don’t get to talk to me like that. To say that kinda stuff to me. That hurt, Carmen. That was mean.” You glared at him, tears leaking out of the corner of his eyes. “I don’t care if you’re stressed. I don’t care what’s going on- nothing, and I mean nothing, warrants you talking to me like that. Just because you fucked up, because you forgot to ask me to do it, because you’re stressed out- I don’t care what it is. You don’t talk to me like that, say those things when I’ve been home all day taking care of my ch- our child.” You nod back towards the sniffling baby, whimpering and crying half heartedly, her little eyelids drooping with sleep that was interrupted. 

Carmen felt sick, his knees tightening in fear, he was sure they might give out, that he might fall to the ground right there. Looking at the tiny baby, lip jutted and shaking in the mirror hooked on the back of the seat, then back at you, eyes red-rimmed and glaring at him with a hurt filled anger. 

“Don’t-” Carmen’s chest shook, a white-knuckled grip on the door. 

Your own hand curled around the door’s inner handle, yanking it away from him. “Move,” You hissed, pulling again. 

Carmen wasn’t sure why he let it go, why he let you shut it, locking the door in case he tried to open it again. Why he let you pull out of the driveway, why he didn’t stop you, why he didn’t run after you, only taking soft shuffles down the drive like a zombie as you drove away. Standing in the drive, Carmen swallowed down the spit that pooled in his mouth, stomach churning, sure he was going to be sick. 

He managed to trudge back to the garage, mind racing and far away, the ringing in his ears dulling but still deafening. It felt like he was in a dream- a nightmare, a hallucinating trance that felt like a sick, sick dream- Carmen was hoping it was. That he’d wake up and find you next to him asleep. That he could hug you, pull you into him, nose buried in your neck, still warm from your slumber. 

As the sun began to sink low into the sky, minutes turning into hours that Carmen sat motionless in the garage, staring in a trancelike state, he realized that this wasn’t a dream or a nightmare. No this was his reality, a horrific reality that he’d made into his own. Carmen sat, eyes trained on the concrete of the garage, voice racing and blending in his mind- his words, yours, Teddy’s cries, Natalie and Richie’s, flashbacks of his mother screaming fits. 

He didn’t move, frozen in chilling, eerie fear. What ifs and terrifying possible scenarios, consequences to his own actions that left him feeling sick, hands trembling. A spiraling of fears that only drug him deeper and deeper with every haunting replay of his outburst. Even the flashing of headlights turning into the driveway, filling the garage with light, didn’t pull him from his trance. 

“The fuck is he- Cousin!” Richie roared, laying on the horn. Carmen didn’t move, didn’t acknowledge that he heard it, only stared. Richie frowned, turning the car off, throwing the door open. 

“Cousin? Carm? What-What are you doin’? Dinner service started an hour ago. Syd is freakin’ the fuck out.” Richie threw his hands up, walking towards the man who still didn’t move. Richie’s heart skipped, flashbacks of Mikey flooding into his vision, parallels of the two brothers blurring before him. 

“Yo, Carm, you-you good?” Richie stepped into the garage, his spine tingling with icy fear. It was quiet, an eerie, unsettling quiet. “Cousin, hey, what-what’s wrong?” 

Carmen's chest rose and fell, tighter and tighter. He was suffocating, head spinning and mind racing so fast he felt light headed. He could barely hear Richie’s voice over the noise in his head, Richie’s hand shaking his shoulder finally breaking his trance enough to meet his eyes, rounded in fear filled question. 

“Carmen, what’s wrong? Is it- Don’t fuckin’ tell me it’s the baby. What the fuck is goin’ on-” 

“-She left.” Carmen’s voice shook, raspy and scared. His tongue still felt too thick, head still spinning. He wasn’t even sure he said it, Richie’s widening eyes the only thing confirming that he had said it. 

“What? Who-Who left? Who?” Richie looked around, like the clues might be there, sure that Carmen wasn’t talking about you. No, he wouldn’t- he couldn’t. Not you. 

Carmen’s breath hitched, a strangling of a sob caught in his throat, running his hand over his face. Richie didn’t miss the way it trembled, shaking even as it rested over his eyes. Your car was gone, the house too quiet, no baby Teddy crying, nothing but silence was left. 

Richie’s heartbeat crawled into a rapid, scared pace. “Why? Wh-Why would she-” Richie looked at Carmen, eyes wide but still, reading his expression. “No. No, Cousin, no. What-What did you do? Carmen,” Richie grabbed both his shoulders, shaking him lightly until he met his gaze. “What did you do?” 

Carmen’s face began to crack, behind his eyes, Richie could see flashbacks of something- something he didn’t know what, but whatever it was, it was painful. That was evident by the fear that glossed over Carmen’s eyes, realization and horror. Carmen’s shoulders shook, frame rocking with a sob he tried to swallow, but couldn’t. Deep cries, guttural sobs breaking out of his frame, heels of his hands pressed to his eyes, fingers curled and clenched around his greasy curls in agony. 

The damning realization flooded over him, that you’d left. 

You’d left, you’d taken Teddy, taken Anchovy- you’d left because he’d driven you away. His angry outburst, petulant, mean, hurtful- he’d been so cruel to you. You. His wife, the love of his life, mother of his child, the one person who loved him endlessly without stipulations or boundaries, the one person who truly understood him. 

And he’d driven you away. 

He wished he could blame his mom, his dad, his family for fucking him up so severely, maybe Mikey, even, for leaving him the shit show that was the restaurant, making his anxieties worse and fuse shorter. But sitting in the empty garage, Richie standing above him in silent shock, his sobs and angry sniffles echoing off the cement floor, Carmen knew he had no one to blame but himself. 

He’d fucked up. Really fucked up. Fucked up in a way that made all the other times look obsolete. 

Carmen had fucked up, and for once, he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t avoid it, ignore it, deflect it like other times. Half hearted apologies and promises of change wouldn’t work, you weren’t here for him to even try to give them to you, and he didn’t know where you went. 

Carmen wasn’t sure where you went, how to fix this, why he’d done what he did, and a million other things that raced through his mind. What he did know, sitting in the too quiet garage, chest stuttering with heaving cries, was that he’d do anything. 

Anything, to get you back home. To make it right. To fix this and make it up to you. 

He wasn’t sure how, but he’d give up everything. Anything. His restaurant, his dreams, his hopes, his life, at this point, to make it up to you. 

[roosterforme]

At Least Twice a Day (Rooster x Reader)

Part of The What If Collection of blurbs for Roo and Baby Girl. My masterlist. Banner by @mak-32

Warnings: language, mentions of smut, mention of injury

You loved having Goose and Carole stay with you and Bradley. His mom always taught you a new recipe, and you could tell how happy it made Bradley to spend time with them. Especially Goose. 

The guys were out walking Tramp after dinner, and you were helping Carole make a cake in your kitchen as you kept pausing to look at your engagement ring which used to be hers. 

"He'll take good care of you," Carole mused out loud as she cracked some eggs. "Not that you can't take care of yourself, of course. But he'll give you anything you need or want. That's just the way he loves you."

Her words made you feel gooey. "That's the way I love him, too."

Your future mother-in-law's beaming smile left you wishing Bradley would return from his walk so you could touch him. You just always wanted to be touching him. "Chocolate frosting?" Carole asked, interrupting your thoughts. 

"Yes. As long as Goose likes that."

She laughed and tossed her head back. "Goose has never meet a food he won't eat."

"Sounds exactly like Bradley."

Once the pretty cake was cooling and the frosting was ready to go on it, the front door opened, and Tramp bounded in ahead of the guys. "It smells good in here," Bradley murmured as he made a beeline to give you a hug. He kissed the top of your head as you snuggled your cheek against him. "Well this is a warm welcome."

"I missed you a little bit," you whispered. You made sure Carole and Goose looked distracted as you said, "You told me you'd make some more time for me all week. I want it real bad." You sent him a little pout just to reinforce things. It was hard to be as intimate as you liked when his parents were visiting.

His response sounded a little stern. "I know. I've been tired. And a little preoccupied. Don't act like you aren't getting it, Baby Girl." You pressed your lips together, because he'd actually taken the time to go down on you this morning before he got dressed. For almost thirty minutes. And it had been really good. "Now what smells so delicious?"

You patted his belly; he was still trying to get in shape again after his horrific accident during his last deployment a few months ago. "I don't think you should eat too much cake, okay. You told me to make sure you were making healthy food choices."

Bradley sighed and said, "If you make it, I'm going to want to eat it." He sounded a little snippy, and you knew it was because he loved his mom's recipes, but you'd stand firm.

"Just one small piece. I'm going to ice the cake, and we can all eat it tomorrow before your parents fly home to Virginia."

"Fine."

------------------------------

Bradley knew you were probably a tiny bit annoyed with him when you excused yourself early to take a shower and get ready for bed. But the cake looked so good, and he wanted to eat it even though he did tell you not to let him have too many sweets. His parents were on the couch watching a movie together when he changed into his gym clothes as he heard you get into the shower. Since he had his weight bench in the garage now, he should be using it every day. 

When he walked into the living room on his way to the kitchen to make a protein shake, he felt two pairs of eyes on him. "What?" he asked, turning toward the couch. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Well..." Carole began, already cluing Bradley in to the fact that this would be an irritating conversation. "We couldn't help but notice that you got a little bit snippy with your fiancée earlier."

"Oh here we go," he muttered in response, running his hand through his hair. "How much did you hear?"

They shared a look before Carole asked, "Are you sure you're pleasing her in the bedroom?"

He froze in place and barked out an annoyed laugh. "We are not having this conversation. Absolutely not."

His dad put a hand on his mom's shoulder, but that didn't stop her. "Oh, yes, we are. We have always been very open about sex, Bradley. It's nothing to be ashamed of!"

Bradley looked at her bright blue eyes before glancing at his dad. It wasn't that he was embarrassed to talk about sex with his parents even though he was well into his thirties, it was more that he wasn't sure how to defend himself right now. "This conversation is not necessary. She was being dramatic."

Carole scoffed in response. "It's not dramatic when you're letting your partner know you need something, Bradley. She's going to be your wife!"

"Yeah," Bradley barked. "And she's already getting it at least twice a day most days!"

Goose choked on his sip of tea. 

"Oh," Carole said softly, but she looked a lot calmer now as Bradley shook his head. "Well, that's good."

"Mmhmm," he hummed sarcastically with his hands planted on his hips. "I am fucking my fiancée regularly. She's plenty satisfied. She just likes being a brat. But thank you for your concern." He turned toward the kitchen, nearly forgetting what he was planning on doing in the first place. "Jesus," he grumbled as he grabbed his protein powder. "The fucking audacity."

------------------------

When you woke up the next morning, Bradley was still sound asleep, so you made your way to the kitchen to start breakfast for the four of you. The coffee was brewing, and you were collecting ingredients for some pancake batter when you froze. Half of the cake was gone. "What the fuck?" you gasped, and that's when you saw Bradley walk in. "You ate the cake."

He frowned at you. "No, I didn't."

"You did!" you accused. "It's half eaten! You ate it out of spite!"

Bradley raised one eyebrow and asked, "Are you serious right now?"

You spun when you heard Goose clear his throat, and you turned to see that Carole couldn't even look you in the eye for some reason. "Good morning," she said as she reached for a mug. "Goose has something he needs to tell you."

"I ate the cake," he said. "It was delicious. I had one piece, and then I couldn't stop eating it. And then the next thing I knew, half of it was gone."

"Oh," you replied softly. "Well, that's okay. Why don't we just finish the cake for breakfast?"

"That sounds lovely," Carole replied, barely meeting your eyes. 

You took a deep breath and turned toward Bradley. "I'm sorry, Roo. You can have a much cake as you want, I shouldn't have told you not to eat it."

He leaned in closer and whispered, "I'll have a little slice, Sweetheart. And I'm sorry I haven't been as attentive this week as I usually am. If you want me to fuck you nearly constantly, you know I will."

"Shhh," you hissed. "Your mom is already barely looking at me right now!"

Bradley laughed as his parents took the cake and coffee into the dining room. "That's because I told her you're a needy little thing who wants me balls deep inside her all the time."

"You did what?!"

[zwolfgames]

Idk, but I think bg3 reader would try to leave the group, if they know about their yandere personalities, lol. Please, your bg3 works are so good. I expect the new one

(So, not a continuation of the last drabble. This is hypothetical for now. Also it deleted my answer the first time :( so this is try two, it may seem a bit rushed. And I got a bit off track, woops.)

Warnings: mentions of yandere stuff I suppose.

Y/N in this au (aka teen tav) really isn't stupid, sure they grew up in a village with just their mother and pulled random spells out of their ass like a true sorcerer, but they're not stupid.

The party started with variable reactions to a minor in the group. Act 1 doesn't showcase a lot of Yan tendencies due to everything still going kind of fine and everyone getting to know each other.

The yandere part really starts in act 2 when they enter the Shadow cursed lands. Unlike the normal region of act 1 are the Shadowlands riddled with danger.

The party quickly gets their wake-up call after things like Kar'niss (who gets his little momemt) and the other bosses and dangers. Katherine Thorm, being a threat, also doesn't help ease the party's feelings.

The group would go from silly to way more protective in act 2. But Y/N can't do anything about that yet. The shadows would eat them alive, or someone else could get them. Better left with unease rather than dead, right?

I've purposefully mentioned Y/N's mother in the drabbles to show the main goal of the reader, which is to return to their mother. This goal is being held back by a party of people who no longer seem intent to part ways with you once this is over.

Sure, Y/N wanted their cool adventure with heroes like Wyll Ravenguard, but staying with them permanently? Haha... no.

So after the wake-up call of act 2, Y/N would take their chances at escape in Baldur Gate. The thing is, though, Y/N isn't from Baldurs Gate. They don't know the alleys like the back of their hand in the same manner that Astarion does. They didn't grow up playing in the secret passageways like Karlach...

This is a dangerous game you're playing. The more you wiggle, the tighter their hold. It's just how it goes with people who have faced enough to lose it.

They handle you in different ways, of course.

Wyll, Gale, and Halsin strike me as the type to have wanted to protect this poor kid from the start, so their resolve just strengthens to unnecessary levels. You wouldn't mind just being carried to bed by a bear man, would you? He knows some good elvish lullabies.

Lae'zel is her own separate category, she's a githyanki, they have very diffrent ways then most folk on faerun. I'm basing her motherly ability on the prologue where she raises the gith egg. She may not be affectionate, but she does not want you out of sight. Expect training.

Karlach and Astarion surprisingly go together here. They don't seem like the parental type. More of an aunt/uncle. Would try and stay your friend. Guiltripping from Karlach that she may or not be aware of herself, and straight up manipulation from Astarion. They both had a bad past. You can stay, right? As a little gift from the gods?

Shadowheart didn't like you from the start, not a fan of kids. Her yandere strikes a lot later. First, she had only been worried about your health as a cleric. After her arc at the end of the shadow cursed lands (freeing Dame Aylin etc) she gets a bit of that parental feeling nonsense too. Though I'd say she shows it the least. You'd be tricked easily into thinking she's the only normal one in the party.

Minthara, I'm unsure if I can find a good way to let her join, but she'd be similar to Lae'zel, just crueler and definitely bot secretive about her want for your stay. If you ask her directly, she'd just plain out and say that if she catches you, you're getting bound.

Jaheira, natural mom, she's got kids, protected the kids. Don't expect her to be sweet, but you're definitely not going out of sight.

Minsc joins in Act 3, so really, he doesn't have the time to get to know you, he's funny, you're funny. Friends. Not that the rest appreciates the time you spent with him. They're scared you're gonna make up a talking animal next.

All in all, Y/N would try and escape. It just isn't very likely to succeed. If you get far... well, there are other beings out there still after you, you know?

Just forget your mom. Aren't they better family now? Your mom didn't teach you spells, did she? Or swordplay? Maybe how to make balms?

Cmon, they're the best option. Stay.

Just an answer lol, hope i didn't make anyone too OOC with just this. Xd.

[sidekick-hero]

steddie | rating: t | wc: 2.345 | tags: au, rockstar!eddie, drummer!steve, onesided enemies to lovers, part of our upcoming fic Pickup Note | art credit: @firefly-party

Eddie's living his dream, literally. Ever since his mom danced him around the living room to the sounds of Muddy Waters and Jimmy Hendrix, he has wanted to be a rock star. 20 years later, he made it.

So why is there such a sour taste in his mouth when they stand in front of their cheering audience, bowing and clapping with them? Why does the sight of Harrington throwing his drumsticks into the crowd turn his smile into a frown before he can stop himself?

He knows he's being childish. But knowing something has never helped him much in suppressing those irrational feelings that bubble up inside of him until they spill over and make a mess. Eddie's alignment has always been chaotic, so at least he's trying to make it a chaotic good one.

Lately, though, it feels like he's failed at that, and it's all Harrington's fault.

The guy just had to waltz in and take Gareth's place, with the other guys falling all over themselves with praise and gratitude when Harrington should be grateful. After all, he gets to go on a world tour with the most talked about newcomer metal band right now, when the biggest venues he played before were the local bars and sports halls.

But no, Steve Harrington didn't even have to audition, not really. Not when Gareth's boyfriend had vouched for him being a great drummer and an even greater guy, and Gareth, being the love-struck idiot that he was, had just said "Yes, my love, of course, anything you say" or some equally lovey-dovey shit like that. And now Eddie had to endure the guy's company for three whole months.

"Are you alright, man?" Jeff's hand on his shoulder is grounding and his deep voice pulls Eddie back from his gloomy spiral. He gives his oldest friend a smile that lacks the usual Munson charm, but is still genuine enough for Jeff to return it with one of his own.

"Yeah, 'm fine, just tired," he only half-lies. It's been a long day, hell, a long week. Add to that giving his all on stage, jumping up and down and singing his heart out while letting his sweetheart sing for him and thousands of fans, and he's bound to be exhausted as soon as the adrenaline starts to wear off.

Jeff and Grant don't seem to fare any better, coming down from the post-concert high almost as fast as Eddie and crashing as soon as they get to their tour bus. The only one who seems to be full of restless energy is Steve, who can't seem to stop moving, arms and hands and fingers acting like there's still a drum kit to be played. Eddie swears he can feel him vibrating with it and it sets his teeth on edge.

He's a hypocrite, and he knows it. Hell, the Eddie of a year ago would be out partying right now, dancing and drinking and fucking the night away, high on adrenaline and endorphins and maybe something else if the mood struck. But he left that Eddie at the Crossroads, along with his addiction and most of his anxiety disorder.

While Grant just grunts his good night before falling face first into his bunk bed, Jeff goes over to Harrington to check in on him as well. Eddie remembers the one time Jeff tried to play a DnD character that was anything but good. It was painful to watch and Eddie was almost glad when his Demogorgon killed Jeff's character and the rest of the party and they were able to start a new campaign.

If there's anyone on earth who's intrinsically good, it's Jeff Robinson.

Jeff walks over to Steve and pats him on the back. "Great job, man. You were on fire up there. Can't believe you learned that whole setlist in two weeks."

Steve glows from the praise, a bright smile lighting up his whole face before he ducks his head in what looks like genuine bashfulness. Eddie snorts at the thought and Steve's eyes flick over to him, his smile fading.

Harrington looks hurt and Eddie really wonders why. Why should he care what Eddie thinks of him? It's not like they're friends or anything. The way Jeff is glaring at him, Eddie guesses he still needs to apologize to the guy, but just as he opens his mouth to formulate some half-hearted apology at best, Steve turns away from him and squeezes Jeff's arm.

"Thanks, man, I appreciate it. I think I'll head to bed, if you don't mind. Get some sleep."

"Yeah, of course. It's been a long day, get some shut-eye. But you really did a great job, man. I'm glad we found such a kickass stand-in for Gareth on such short notice. You saved our asses."

Eddie bites his tongue so hard he thinks he tastes blood.

It's actually Steve who says what Eddie is thinking. "Are you kidding me, man? I'm the one who's glad you let me come and play with you. I mean, today? Being in front of thousands of people, doing what I love? I've never felt so... fuck, I don't even know. Myself? Happy? Alive?" He laughs, but it sounds tentative, and Eddie can see his cheeks glowing red even in the dim night light of their bus. Steve rubs a hand across his neck in obvious embarrassment. "Sorry, I'm rambling."

Jeff laughs, amused. "Don't worry, it's the concert jitters. Eddie wouldn't stop talking for hours the first time we played in front of more than maybe five drunks back home."

"Har-har," Eddie laughs sarcastically, but there's still a smile on his face that takes the sting out of it. Those were good times, before things got complicated. Before fame and money and being on the road all the time had made them complicated. "I'm gonna hit the hay. Night, Jeff. Harrington."

They return his goodnight wishes with one of their own and Eddie is glad that he already changed into his sweatpants and hoodie backstage. He slips under the covers and turns on his side, facing the wall, listening to Grant's snoring and the sounds of Steve and Jeff getting ready. Eddie knows that sleep won't come anytime soon. He's been an insomniac for as long as he can remember, sleep as absent from most of his life as his father. He has learned to make do with the bare minimum, catching a few hours here and there whenever he can.

Tonight it's Steve Harrington that keeps him awake. Or rather, it is his thoughts and feelings about the man. It's not the first night this happens, but it's the first time he really wonders if maybe he is the asshole after all. Steve's words run through his mind on a loop and every time he closes his eyes he sees the way his smile died on his face, replaced by that kicked puppy dog look that tugs at Eddie's heart no matter how hard he fights it.

Maybe he should at least try to be nicer to the guy.

Sure, he is everything Eddie hated in school: a preppy ex-jock who got everything he ever wanted with his pretty face and his daddy's money. No one ever called him a fuck-up, Eddie is sure of that. While Eddie had to fight for every single thing, even his life, Steve Harrington just got a place in the band and the hearts of their fans and the respect of his bandmates with a few flutters of his long eyelashes. It's true, he's good, Eddie begrudgingly admits. He has found himself staring at Harrington more than once tonight while the man has been playing, mesmerized by the passionate yet easy way he has mastered every single song on their setlist.

Eddie's so lost in his own thoughts that he misses the bus pulling up, only jolted out of his reverie when he hears someone get out of his bed and walk to the front door of the bus.

It's Harrington, talking to the driver. Eddie checks the clock on his phone and is surprised to see that it's already four in the morning. When did that happen? Maybe he fell asleep without realizing it.

Up front, the driver explains that they're stopping here for a few hours. There was an accident further up the highway and the traffic jam is so bad that the driver decided to take his break here. Steve asks if it's okay if he goes outside for a while and Eddie catches himself smiling at the question.

He wonders if Harrington can't sleep, just like he can't. Maybe he's still thinking about Eddie's reaction earlier...no, that would be ridiculous, right? Still, the thought sits heavy in his stomach and after another five minutes he gives up and rolls out of bed to follow Harrington outside. On the way he grabs two hoodies and pulls one over himself.

The cold night air hits him hard as he stumbles down the stairs, but it feels good after a second or two of adjustment.

"Can't sleep?" A voice to his right asks, and sure enough, it's Harrington, leaning against the side of the bus, his arms wrapped tightly around himself.

"I was going to ask you the same question." Eddie replies, walking over to Steve. "Here." Steve stares wordlessly at the offered hoodie, making no move to take it. "It won't bite, I promise. I doubt you can play with your hands frozen."

That does the trick and he finally reaches out to take the black garment from Eddie and pulls it over his head. It's a little long on the arms, but otherwise it fits well, maybe a little tight around the shoulders. Of course, the guy has broader shoulders than he does, Eddie thinks, not really able to muster much annoyance.

"Thanks," Steve says in a quiet voice, giving him a strange look. And then, as quickly as if he were ripping off a bandage, "I just can't get to sleep. I tried everything, counted backwards from one hundred, counted sheep, did that weird breathing thing Robin showed me, tried reading... nothing. I'm so fucking exhausted, but I just can't sleep."

Eddie hums, knowing the feeling only too well. Harrington sounds on the verge of tears and maybe it's the lingering guilt, the memory of his own racing thoughts, all circling around the man in front of him. Whatever it is, something compels Eddie to say, "I don't have a solution for you. I don't sleep more than three, maybe four hours a night. But I can show you something that might make it more bearable, if you'd like."

Steve looks at him and for the first time Eddie allows himself to look back. To let their eyes meet and lock.

"I'd like that."

Clapping his hands, Eddie abruptly turns and stalks to the back of the bus. When he doesn't hear footsteps following him, he turns and calls out, "You comin' or what?" and grins as Steve almost trips in his haste to catch up.

When they reach the back of the bus, Eddie pushes on a panel that is somehow hidden under the license plate. A small metal shape protrudes from where he just pushed, and when he pulls on it, it turns out to be a metal ladder.

"What are you -"

"Patience, young Padawan," Eddie admonishes with a grin, secretly pleased with Steve's reaction. He's kind of proud of his little secret hideout.

Placing the ladder against the back of the bus, Eddie begins to climb up the stairs to the deck, and when he's at the top, he turns and reaches down for Steve to follow. "Do you trust me?"

Steve looks up at him, his eyes bright in the light of the stars and the moon shining down on them. "Yes."

"I can show you the world," Eddie begins to sing, once again letting his impulsive thoughts dictate his actions. The song came to him the second he looked down at Steve.

Steve comes up the stairs and grabs Eddie's hand, laughing. "Oh my God, are you singing a Disney song?"

"You're the one who recognizes it. I bet you even know what movie it's from, don't you, big boy?"

Steve rolls his eyes, but smiles anyway, as if he's secretly charmed by Eddie's antics. "Does that make me the princess?"

"And me the ruggedly handsome thief with a heart of gold," Eddie agrees, pleased that Steve got his reference.

Steve snorts, and it shouldn't sound cute, but oh, does it, his nose crinkling adorably. "Yeah, whatever. As long as this isn’t your flying carpet. I don't trust the structural integrity of this thing to actually fly."

"Big, big words. You sound like Henderson."

"Oh God, don't tell him, I'll never hear the end of it."

Eddie taps his chin thoughtfully. "I'll...think about it," he finally settles on, grinning playfully at Harrington. Silence falls over them, and for the first time since Steve walked into their rehearsal studio, it doesn't feel awkward or hostile. In fact, it's nice to share this space up here with someone.

Eddie sits down at the edge of the bus and Steve joins him, sitting maybe a foot away from him in a slight sprawl, his head tilted back and his mouth slightly open as his eyes take in the clear night sky above them. They're far enough out of town to actually see the harmonious arrangement and movement of the stars in the cosmos, forming a celestial symphony that Eddie has often tried and failed to capture in his songs.

Tonight, however, his eyes are caught by another ethereal sight.

"It's so beautiful," Steve whispers, as if sharing a secret with Eddie. "It's so vast and so beautiful, it’s almost frightening, don’t you think?"

"It is," Eddie agrees, never taking his eyes off Steve. So frightening.

They sit there until the sun slowly rises in the east, Steve's eyes on the sky and Eddie's on his own enigma.

This is a sneak peek from @firefly-party and me for our upcoming project Pickup Note to celebrate our dearest friend and collaborator's @thefreakandthehair birthday. Lex, you are our MVP and we are so happy to call you our friend! We love you and we hope you have the best day, week, month and year, because you deserve it 💜💜

[iwaasfairy]

Yes, please bring Atsuko back; I love and miss him. 🥴

:'>> i had to give a little taste for just you and me because i have no self control thank you my loveeee i miss him too hdfsgfdi

tw incest, mom!reader, atsuko's nerve knows no bounds, panty stealing, some pretty vile dirty talk

"Tooru," your hand slides over the handrail as you lean over it, and your husband's eyes flick up along your body to fall on yours with a delay that the coy smile on his lips can't exactly hide.

"Where are you going?" he pauses the match, and leans onto one flexed arm to look at you further. It's been awfully hot all day, and your top has been discarded for a tiny bikini that he's spent mere minutes on undressing earlier today. You smile, and lean down a little further.

"Have you seen Ko?"

Your husband's eyes run up and down your body again, before he shrugs. "The brat's upstairs." Strange. You were in the bathroom earlier, and his room's door was wide open. Still you pack up your towel and head up with soft steps, humming on your way to the grandiose room you're still not quite over. It's just so lavish, Tooru likes spending his money on nice things, like the rug under your bare feet.

You push into your room with a slight sigh, and falter when the door clicks closed behind you. All you see is a bare broad back, tank top suntanned into his shoulders, a familiar head of brown, loose curls and narrow waist down into a perfect butt as he straddles one of your nice pillows. "Atsuko!" you squeak, and also feel the heat creep over your cheeks as the low groaning only gets louder.

As you walk around your bed, your shared bed with your husband, you can see the way his large hand is wrapped around a painfully flushed, hard cock- and the fabric that's clenched between his fingers and his thick cock is distinctly familiar as he thrusts into the ring of his fingers. Your breathing hitches at the sight, though your lip is caught between your lips. "Atsu... I can't-"

"Perfect -ugh-fucking timing, mom," he groans a shuddered moan as more precum drips down along his fingers and he bucks into his palm, turning over and falling down to slide his back up against the headboard with absolutely no shame. His fingers toy with the seat of your panties, but he doesn't stop stroking even as his cock twitches hard when his eyes trail ever so hungrily down your body. "Wanna come finish me off?"

He places his other arm behind his neck as he opens his thighs more, and his tongue gets caught between his teeth. "That is my pillow, Ko," you only respond, and linger between trying to parent the brat and wanting to stay a safe distance away.

"Mh, you're so hot when you're trying to be stern," he grins wider at that, and stops pumping his cock for just long enough to rub a thumb over the leaking slit and scoot to the edge of the bed instead, then patting his muscular, sweat-coated thighs. His heavy cock bops between his legs, and another bead of precum looks so fucking good as it slowly rolls down. "Come here, c'mon. Dad's had his turn, now it's mine."

Your towels get put on the dresser, and you shuffle in place for a moment to try to relieve the uncomfortable feeling of stickiness now coating your bottom lips. You want to scream at your body and beg it to behave for once, but the heat always gets you flushed. Atsuko's vice is being able to use it against yourself. "Come." He says it again more slowly, and his eyes narrow, and you...

You can't help but give in a little and take a few steps in his general direction. Apparently close enough for him to reach out and grab your hand, pulling you towards him with a soft sigh as he starts cupping your tits in those large hands. "Ko," you whimper it before you even have a chance to stop it. But he doesn't have shame. His drooling cockhead rubs along the inside of your thigh while he peels the thin straps off your shoulders and dips to suck your puffy nipples with a self-satisfied hum when your fingers find his shoulder.

God, you shouldn't let him. You should say something. How do you always get bulldozed by him so easily? It's unfair, totally-- "Oh- baby!" It squeaks out, and your nails dig into his shoulder when his teeth come down on your tits meanly, eagerly - and he pulls you on top of his chest to fall back into bed. His arms wrap around you as he turns, not that you could stop him if he tried with any real fight, before he starts moving over you.

That shit-eating grin hasn't left his face for a second, and you swear he only turns more chesire like when those rough fingers slide between your legs and under the polyester of your bikini. "You're such a bad actor." He doesn't bother to scoot up the bed before folding one of your knees to your chest and you go to hold it, well-trained obedience that has him thumbing over your little cunt and moaning. "Looks like someone actually likes it, huh? No shame?"

He gets up to line himself up, and spits onto the fingers he then rubs in a rough circle over your clit. "You're so fucking hot when you're like this. All flushed, ready to take any cock that wants to fill you up?" The thick, hot head of his cock kisses your entrance a few excruciating times, before he starts putting just enough pressure for it to start sliding in at a snail's pace. The stretch is still always a little intimidating.

His beautiful doe eyes are so blown out and dark and one hand balances on your tit while the other pets at your clit with lazy circles of his thumb. Atsuko looks painfully good with his lip clenched between his teeth, and his voice dropping lower. "Love fucking my mom's slutty little pussy. Is that what you wanna hear, huh? Your little boy's grown into a freak that loves fucking his momma's drooling cunt in her own bed."

The first two inches pop in after the slowest push imaginable, and he leans in to see more of your face, more of your expression as your wetness tickles at your waterline, and your free leg wraps around his glutes with a soft moan. You wish you could beg, for him to go faster, fill you, kiss you too- but your tiny remnant of pride won't allow it when he's so self-satisfied. All you manage is a soft whimper of his name.

"I'm taking my time~ mom, ugh." He grunts and lets out a small hiss when he has to push to make room for himself for each further inch, and covers you in his beaming heat for long enough to have every thought leaving you. It just feels so good. It feels hot and tight and so good, good, good pressing so deep inside you and going even further. "Oh fuck, that's my favorite place- to- be- fu-uck~"

"S-stop sw-ah-swearing."

Ko's laugh is almost pure when it escapes him, and his hand wraps around your throat to pull your face to his as he laughs into the kiss. "Oh, shut it, hypocrite."

[luvhughes43]

baby baby | quinn hughes x reader

luvhughes43 masterlist🌷

request: quinn being by your side when you have your baby

word count: 0.6k

“Where's Quinn?” you cried out for what seemed like the hundredth time to anyone who was listening. Of course when you went into labour Quinn was halfway across the country on a roadie. 

“He’s coming sweetie, he’s coming” your mother tried to soothe you again but it proved to be of no use. You refused to have your first baby without your husband. 

You cried out again, the pain and your wanting for Quinn starting to overwhelm you. 

“She needs to calm down,” a nurse shouted, and you swore you were going to lose your mind.

However before you could say anything back, your hospital room door was swinging open and a restless looking Quinn bounded into the room panting. “Quinn!” you cried out, tears springing to your eyes as you catch sight of the love of your life. Quinn rushes over to you, replacing your moms hand with his own as he holds your hand tightly. 

“I’m so sorry baby, I got here as fast as I could” he breathes out heavily, still out of breath from his journey of running around the hospital. 

“You’re here now, it's okay” you gave him a soft smile that was quickly replaced with a wince as another contraction hit you. Quinn reached his free hand up and brushed your hair out of your face, when he tried to soothe you it worked, and you were finally able to calm down a little.

“It’s time to start pushing mama!” One of the nurses says trying to hype you up. 

A few short hours later, it was just you and Quinn in your  hospital room. He was sitting beside you on your bed, one hand strung around your shoulders as you both looked down at the sleeping baby in your arms. 

“I’m so proud of you,” Quinn whispers as he kisses the top of your head, eyes never leaving his newborn. “She’s precious” he says again, as he traces one of his fingers along his baby's cheek.

“She looks like you” you murmur, “she’s beautiful Quinny” you smile softly down at your baby girl before redirecting your gaze to look at Quinn. You had never seen him look so at ease, the adoration in his eyes made you want to go through this whole painful process again. You’d do anything to make him look so peaceful and happy.

“I think she looks like her mama,” Quinn whispers back, removing his hand from your shoulder and bringing it back down to your waist. He placed his head on your shoulder, leaving a soft kiss on your hospital gown as he went.

You hummed in response, leaning your head on top of Quinns. Both of you so happy and content to hold and look at your precious baby.

_quinnhughes

Liked by jackhughes, lhughes_06, and others

_quinnhughes baby hughes was born last night happy and health💙

Tagged: ynuser

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jackhughes congrats bro she's adorable❤️ i can't wait to meet her

ynuser we can facetime later if you have time?

jackhughes i always have time for my niece! I love her so much already

_quinnhughes liked

lhughes_06 omg she’s adorable😭❤️

lhughes_06 i'm flying down to canada to see her rn

_quinnhughes see you soon! she’s the sweetest💙

lhughes_06 i love her so much already congrats _quinnhughes and ynuser

ynuser thank you! can't wait for you to meet her💙

fan01 BABY HUGHES BABY HUGHES BABY HUGHES😭💙

elblue6 my baby had a baby❤️❤️ congratulations you guys!!!

_quinnhughes we’ll facetime you in 20 minutes?

ynuser thank you ellen!! we love you❤️ can't wait for you and jim to visit!

fan02 dad quinn unlocked✅

[cupidjyu]

the sweetener you are

hyunjae x reader (idea from the anon who requested childhood friends to lovers!)

summary: when a mysterious man moves into the apartment next door, you realize that he’s your childhood best friend who’s disappeared for years. he changed, his life seeming to have soured. but you could just be his sweetener, the one to make him smile again

genre: best friends to lovers, and boy-next-door sorta thing, hurt/comfort for him because he deserves the world, nightmares, healing, one bed trope, youre forced to move in with him hahaha am i evil, back hugs, he acts "drunk" when tired (dont ask why, it was just an excuse to write him being clingy), hes flirty ish and teasing, hes shirtless for like one second (BECAUSE.), sleepy love confessions, kissing, is there tension? i can't tell myself, “sweetheart” good god notes: school started so expect much much less after this... so see you in a bit 🥲🥲but hope u enjoy!!! this is literally just yumi who needs to stop writing long interpretations of their love for hyunjae in the form of fics + song inspo! word count: 12.7k

You coughed. You choked. And then you glared straight at Younghoon who was staring back in complete alarm. Setting the unfinished glass down on the counter with a loud clink, you clenched your jaw with unspoken curse words that threatened to escape your lips.

“This tastes like dirt,” You garbled out. Rushing over to one of your cupboards, you pulled out one of those small sugar packets that you liked to swipe from those cute coffee shops. If it was free, why not take a few? Ripping the paper open, you poured it into the drink that didn’t even look like it belonged on this planet. It was both… green and yellowish-blue at the same time.

Younghoon gasped, slapping a hand over his mouth dramatically. “That’s not healthy!”

“But it tastes so bad,” You whined. “It needs a sweetener.”

He glared, dragging his hand all the way down his jaw in an unattractive way. “It’s an herbal drink. It’s meant to taste bad. Think of all the health benefits you could’ve gotten out of that without the sugar.”

“You made this?” You scrunched up your face in disgust.

“No, I–” He laughed nervously. “My mom did. I promised her I would finish it.”

You narrowed your eyes. “And you couldn’t because it tasted so bad. So you’re making me finish it.”

He gave you a pained smile as he stepped away. “I– who said that?”

“Why’re we even friends?” You questioned before jabbing a finger at the door. “Get out.”

Younghoon pouted but he eventually obliged, opening the apartment door. “You still owe me money for that overpriced tiny piece of cake by the way.”

“It tasted good!” You shot back.

“It did not.” He sighed. “It’s just you with your horrible sweet tooth. Don’t even– hey…” You noticed him peeking out of your door and into the hallway. And then he leaned back in, searching your face with wonder. “Someone’s moving in next door.”

You brightened with interest at that, practically jumping off where you were sitting on the kitchen counter. Bounding over to the door, you poked your head out under Younghoon’s, just like they did in the cartoons. Squinting your eyes, all you could see was a tall man with a cap on that covered most of his face. 

“Who’s that?” Younghoon said, slightly too loud for your liking.

With a groan, you elbowed him in the ribs. “Shh…how would I know? Though... he does look better than that old dude who constantly yelled at those courtroom TV shows like he was the judge.” It was like the apartment next to yours was cursed. Magic wasn’t real here. Or at least, in this world. But you still believed that a witch had strolled by and casually placed a hex on Apt 245 for the fun of it. For the time that you’ve been here, you’ve seen about five people move in there. And they were never happy. 

Once, there were two parents who had to deal with multiple children who would not stop crying. You hadn’t slept a wink the whole time they were there. They did receive a noise complaint though. Another time, there was a teenager who couldn’t even properly pay off the rent. He didn’t have a job. But he could somehow afford the loudest speaker where he would play the most gut-wrenching, saddest music ever. He got evicted.

But this man… well–he looked decent. Really. No evident curse here. Or at least, yet. When he turned around, you could see that he was very tall and… broad. Apparently, that was the first thing you noticed. He also seemed to pick up the moving boxes with ease and when he had stepped just the slightest to the side, you could see the impossibly perfect slope of his nose. Also a very odd thing to notice.

Younghoon grasped your arm, pulling you back into your own apartment.

“Don’t fall in love.”

You gaped at him. “What? I don’t even know who he is.”

He raised an eyebrow. “But he’s tall. And broad. And has a nice nose. I know you. I know your type.”

Shit.

“You do know me,” You mumbled sheepishly. “But still!” You poked him harshly. “I won’t fall in love. I probably won’t even see him for like– a month. Or he’s going to be cursed and moved out like the others. Don’t worry.”

Your friend narrowed his eyes in skepticism but he eventually nodded. “As long as you don’t bump into him tomorrow or something.”

You laughed, rolling your eyes. “Of course. I won’t fall in love.”

You didn’t fall in love. You fell onto the floor.

And you also happened to bump into him the next day ironically enough.

If only—if only—you decided to pick up your mail yesterday like you were supposed to, this wouldn’t have happened. And by this, you meant being distracted by a cup that rolled out of your new neighbor’s door and then walking straight into his chest. 

You squeaked in horror. “I’m sorry!” And then you stepped backwards, tripped on your badly-timed untied shoelace, and ended up on the floor in the middle of the hallway.

When you looked up, there was a pretty hand that reached out to help you up. Taking it with burning cheeks, you could finally see what this man looked like up close and without a cap.

And you would have expected maybe one of those boy-next-door romantic moments where you would fall into his arms and start dating the next day. Oh, and also kiss and eventually get married. But no, you—

“Hyunjae?”

The man—Hyunjae—gaped at you with comically wide eyes. 

“Y/n,” He breathed out.

As long-lost childhood friends, the most sensible thing to do was ask how he was. But you often defied expectations, positively or negatively, and so instead you lunged forward, wrapping your arms around his waist and pulling him into a tight hug.

Hyunjae, whom you’ve known since you were just young kids, has been your best friend for as long as you could remember. He used to be on the elementary school track team while you… were on the bleachers trying to tell the difference between subtraction and addition. But luckily, Hyunjae was both a smart and kind kid and so he had stopped in the middle of his running to sit with you and teach what your teacher couldn’t do properly.

He was always one year older, always more mature and experienced. But he tended to throw that away just for you and join in on playing games with you when he should’ve been studying for an exam. But he did so to cheer you up. He was sweet like that and you adored spending your afternoons after school with him.

The two of you even got to experience those dreadful high school years together, except there was always that haunting realization—that he would eventually graduate first. But he always reassured you.

“It’s just one year, silly,” He joked, pulling you into a side hug, one that perfectly portrayed his understanding of your worries. “I’ll text and call you all the time. Promise.”

Promises were often broken and this wasn’t any different. For when he had left for college, he never contacted you ever again. You had tried to reach out, but he never responded. And so, for your whole college term, you never saw Lee Hyunjae, your supposed “best friend,” ever again.

And you should have been mad—no, furious to see him again. You should have pushed him away and went on with your life while skillfully avoiding him. But just the simple sight of him brought back all those fond memories–baking cupcakes, falling asleep together just after screaming over a horror movie, holding each other when life just gets too much... And so you found yourself buried into his chest, holding him tightly.

“Hyunjae,” You whispered again, shutting your eyes in both contentment and fear of him pushing you away again. 

But you felt two hands snake around your middle, hugging you back. There were a million questions running through your mind at that moment, wondering why he had disappeared but welcomed you so easily. But you set them aside, choosing to just melt into his still familiar embrace.

Finally though, you managed to pull away, looking at him with a fond smile. He smiled back. He had grown even more handsome than before. He managed to become taller, broader, and more charming all at once. His features were sharp, more mature. Something about him–the way he was dressed in a literal suit–really portrayed to you that he really was an adult now, as opposed to the teenager who procrastinated on science projects.

“How are you?” He smiled, almost too polite for your liking. You could see the way he stood, awkwardly and with fidgeting hands. And that was when it all hit you like a truck.

Your eyebrows suddenly furrowed, your lips pulled into a scowl, and your eyes narrowed as you stepped forward. “How am I? No. How could you–” You banged a fist on his firm chest. “–leave me–” Another punch. “–like that–” He stepped back in growing alarm. “–and act all polite and uneasy as if we weren’t best friends for years?” Both of your fists lingered on his chest, your strength growing weak from frustration. 

“Y/n, I–” He winced.

“Actually, I hate you.” You glared. But your words differentiated from your actions when your hand came to smooth down his crumpled tie. “I don’t want to see you ever again. You’re an absolute asshole and I–” But your eyes met with his, his gaze amused and soft. And then you sniffled, looking down at the ground, the urge to cry suddenly overcoming you.

Hyunjae laughed quietly. “I’m sorry. If you would allow me to explain?”

“Great,” You grumbled. “Then do so. Since you’ve owed me an explanation after all these years.”

He glanced at his watch. “I have work. Tomorrow, maybe? Trust me.”

You looked at him in bewilderment. “Work? But you haven’t even unpacked yet.” You eyed his apartment with the door open. There were multiple boxes strewn about, some not even open yet.

“Emergencies,” He sighed. That was when you noticed just how exhausted he looked. “I have to go.”

“Oh,” You stuttered. “Okay. I– good luck?”

Hyunjae smiled, pinching your cheek just like he had done all those years ago. He seemed to be completely unfazed over the fact that you just punched him in anger. “Thank you.” And he was locking the door behind him and heading for the elevator. But just as he was walking away, you felt the need to call something out. Just a few words.

“Hyunjae?” You said.

He turned around, tilting his head. You never knew just how well work attire suited him. He looked almost… attractive. But god, what were you thinking?

“I missed you.”

He smiled but he never quite gave you a response as the elevator ding had interrupted him. Instead, he just gave you a small wave. 

It was odd. Awkward. But one step at a time, you figured. It’s been years after all.

The next day, as promised, he had shown up to your door. This time, since it was the weekend, he was wearing a simple white shirt. One that still never failed to accentuate his broad shoulders.

But initially, you thought it was Younghoon and not a guy who you haven’t seen for multiple years. So you may or may not have opened the door with your hair like a bird’s nest and your sleepwear on that… wasn’t meant for the general public to see. Apparently, Hyunjae fits in the general public category now. Best friend? No, you hate him.

Kind of.

Not really.

Stumbling to the door, you flung it open, your eyes barely open. Immediately, you were met with the sight of just. Long legs. Not very helpful.

“Who–” And then you looked up, only to meet Hyunjae’s eyes. Choking on your spit, you straightened up. “Hello,” You blurted out in a monotone voice.

He raised an eyebrow and tilted his chin down with amusement. “And who’s the uneasy one now?”

“Sorry, I…” Your eyes trailed down to what you were wearing. With an internal gasp, you stepped backward. “I’m going to– change.”

He widened his eyes and then his gaze also traveled down. His cheeks were oddly red and he cleared his throat, looking away.

You cringed and shut the door in his face before he could even say anything.

Now in proper clothes that were for the general public, you opened the door again. He was still standing there with that same smile. The same kind, caring one he always regarded you with even when you were just kids.

“Where should we talk?” You asked. 

His eyes glanced over to his own door. “My place?” He offered quietly. “I have unpacking to do.”

You stared at him silently. And then you nodded with an excited smile. “I can help.” 

“Oh no,” He laughed softly. “You don’t have to. I’m fine on my–”

“You don’t look fine,” You interrupted. And without thinking, your hand came up to cup his cheek, turning him to face you. “You look tired.”

He stared at you wordlessly before sighing. “I guess I am.”

“So let me help.” You grinned. “I’m using my vacation days from work right now anyway.”

He could only mutter a shy “okay” as he opened the door for you to enter. Looking around, you found that the only things that he had unpacked lacked much of any personality. He took out the necessities and a bunch of… work. Papers, a computer, work suits and the like.

“You seem busy,” You remarked as you walked over to the box labeled “decorations” only for there to literally be one single plant that looked like it needed to be watered. In fact, it was on the brink of death. Immediately, your face was contorting in worry and you turned to where he was just standing at the entrance with an embarrassed expression. “What… happened to your initial dream?”

He approached you and peered into the box. “What dream?”

“The one where you wanted to have a place full of pretty plants.”

“Yeah well,” He laughed bitterly. “Circumstances change aspirations.”

You gulped nervously at his change of tone. Something was bothering him. Something, in particular, caused him to move here. You led him to the couch and sat next to him.

“So what is it? Why did you cut everyone off and– disappear?” You asked cautiously.

He looked at you for a long minute like he was trying to figure out a response for himself. And finally, he just sighed in defeat.

“Problems.”

“Like what?” You prodded.

“A lot. And I wouldn’t want to lay them all on you.” He gave you a weak smile. You regarded him with a soft look in your eyes, searching his face for any sort of answer. All you could see was a flame that had long been put out.

“Then tell me one.”

“One?” He bit his lip nervously. “One…”

“Just one,” You said gently.

“Like the one where the place I used to work at didn’t treat me right? That they refused to give me anything?” He mumbled, his voice trailing off with embarrassment. “So I moved here so that I could get away? That one?” 

You froze at his words. You processed them and that was when it began to make sense. He wasn’t going to work yesterday. He was going to an interview. His computer was open to job openings and the papers weren’t reports. They were resumes.

“Hyunjae,” You whispered. But he was already distancing himself, standing up from the couch. You gazed at him with concern as you stood up, only for him to take a step backward.

“Why are you…” You frowned. “It’s okay, you know. Did you think I would look at you any differently?”

His jaw clenched. “Well, I did cut you off because I didn’t want to worry you. You always told me I would be successful, the best. So how exactly could I face you after they…”

“That’s not your fault. And I’m sorry for putting that on you,” You mustered, stepping closer. This time, he didn’t step away. He allowed you to do anything. He let you trail a hand down to his wrist, holding it gently. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me more. I’m sorry.”

He watched you with slight surprise, and with his lips pulled into a straight line, he whispered a small, “I should be the one who’s sorry.”

You shook your head with a smile. “Don’t be.”

He stayed silent at that, simply studying your features. You could tell he still wanted to apologize. But then the corner of his lips lifted slightly. “You grew up.” His tone was gentle, so kind, just like you’ve always known. It was a little quieter than before though, more closed off as if he was afraid–scared of what you would think of him.

You laughed bashfully. “And so did you.” Your hand trailed up to his shoulder. “Did you start working out?”

He smirked. “Why, do you like my progress?”

You snorted. “Could improve.”

He scoffed yet he only looked at you with fondness. The two of you simply stood there, in the midst of his empty apartment, just staring at each other. And then you giggled. He laughed as well before reaching forward and pulling you into his arms, squeezing you so tight that you felt the air leave your lungs.

“Ah–” You choked. “Hyunjae. You’re killing me.”

“I’m showing you my newfound strength,” He joked, stepping away. You were about to refute but instead, you felt your gaze wandering to his arms. Since when were they so toned and–

“Very funny,” You weakly replied. Escaping from his persisting soft gaze, you stepped away and approached the various boxes. “What can I help you with?”

Hyunjae didn’t have much. Apparently, all those large boxes contained about three small things. 

“I overestimated,” He replied with a sheepish smile when you asked.

Most of his things were put away yet when you looked around, the apartment was void of any joy or charm. The only boxes that were left were his clothes which he claimed he could do another day. After putting away his single cup and plate–that’s all he had apparently–you turned around only to see that he was crouched, bending towards that same plant that you pointed out. Its leaves were drooping and the stem wilting, as his fingers gently prodded at it. When you looked closely, you could see a melancholy look on his face, a small frown tugging on his lips.

It was true, that Hyunjae had many dreams when he was younger. That was normal for many people. But to witness it all dissipate before your sight, no sign of light behind his eyes, you couldn’t help but feel your heart clench.

Walking over, you crouched down next to him. He gave you a forced smile.

“Kind of sad,” He remarked with a disappointed sigh. “I bought it only for me to fail to take care of it.”

“You can always buy another one.”

“Mhm,” He hummed dully. “Sure.” 

You watched him wordlessly, observing the way his gaze fell when one of the leaves broke off. Shaking your head, you suddenly stood up.

“Let’s go out.”

He looked up at you in surprise. “What?”

“I’ll be your tour guide of the town,” You joked. “I know everything.”

Standing up with you, he stole a glance at his phone. “I can’t.”

“Why?” You pouted.

“I’m waiting for my result from the interview.”

You sighed and took his wrist in yours, pulling him to the door. “You need to get your mind off that for a second.”

“But–”

“Please?” You looked up at him, even batting your eyelashes. “Just for a moment?” You also exaggerated a pout.

He blinked in shock, his eyes trailing over your expression. “What are you doing?”

“Making you feel bad. Is it working?” You held back a grin.

He huffed out a laugh. “Definitely. Fine, just for a moment.”

You grinned and you were already pulling on your shoes and bounding out the door, leaving Hyunjae to smile to himself.

“This is a convenience store.” You pointed at it with a bright smile.

He rolled his eyes. “I know what a convenience store is.”

You laughed and led him to the next block before abruptly stopping. “This is the karaoke bar,” You said, pointing at the nearby building.

“Fun,” He muttered.

“We should go one day.” You smiled. “Actually no.” You scowled. “I got drunk there once and I think they banned me because I was dancing on the tables.”

Hyunjae turned to you in slight shock. “You? Drunk?”

“What?” You widened your eyes in surprise. “What is it?”

“I just… you always said that you hated the taste of alcohol,” He replied in wonder.

“Times change.” You grinned, nudging his shoulder. He gave you a small smile back.

Then, you led him to your favorite spot. The central park in the middle of town. It was a beautiful day out, the sky bright and blue. You loved to sit at one of the benches, watching birds fly by or kids play happily on the playground. 

“Wait here.” You patted the seat. And then you were running off, nowhere to be seen. Hyunjae simply sat there, observing the calm atmosphere. When you came back, you were holding a stick of cotton candy in your hand. It was large, almost covering your whole face. Hyunjae chuckled, taking it from you so you wouldn’t trip on the ground.

“Aren’t we too old for this?” He questioned.

You shook your head. “I still love it.”

He took a bite and turned to look at you with furrowed eyebrows. “It’s so sweet.”

“That’s why it’s good!” You stared at him like he was the craziest man alive.

“It’s because you’ve always had a sweet tooth.” He frowned, gently placing it back in your hands. 

“Fine,” You scoffed. “If that’s how you treat your best friend.” And you were taking a bite on the opposite side. When you pulled it away from your face, you were startled by a loud laugh. From Hyunjae, specifically. Turning to him with wide eyes, you could even see him smiling.

It was not like the other smiles that you’ve seen so far. Those ones were small, lacking much of any emotion. But this one was wide, full with amusement and happiness.

“Wha– oh,” You huffed, realizing that there was cotton candy on your nose. Hyunjae laughed even louder and suddenly he was leaning in to gently wipe it off with his finger.

“Cutie,” He whispered fondly, his other hand gently cupping the side of your face.

Your heart stuttered at the word. “Wh-what?”

He gulped, pulling away like he was burned. “Oh, I…”

You quickly recovered, instead scooching even closer to him so that your shoulders were touching. “You think I’m cute? Even when I’m all grown up?”

“Always.”

“I missed your smile,” You stated as the two of you were walking back to the apartment complex.

You had expected him to point out that he had smiled other times before. But instead, he gazed at you with soft eyes.

“I did too. It’s been a while since I’ve felt so happy,” He said. “All thanks to you.”

“Of course!” You beamed, looping an arm with his before pulling him closer. “You can always count on me.”

He didn’t respond this time. But his expression said it all. Thank you, thank you, thank you, was all you could see in his dark brown eyes. Smiling, you bumped your body playfully against his.

“Are you busy tomorrow?” You asked.

Again, you found yourself in his apartment the next day. Apparently, he had just gotten back from running and he needed to take a shower. So, you were looking through his boxes full of clothes. You sorted through them, folding them until you came across a hoodie. You didn’t recognize it, but the fabric of it was so… soft and warm. Your hands held onto it, contemplating what it would feel like if you just–

The door to the bathroom creaked open. You gasped and shoved it behind you, greatly hoping that he didn’t notice you staring at it longingly. But alas, you just had to have slow reflexes at this moment.

“Do you like it?” He asked. “Put it on.” 

You laughed awkwardly, turning to face him, only for your protests to come stuttering to a stop. Your eyes trailed down from his damp hair to his… whole torso. His bare torso. He was shirtless. Right out of the shower, water droplets sitting prettily on his collarbones, traveling all the way down to his chest and his– he definitely works out. 

“Oh,” You breathed out, your cheeks flushing red as you frantically looked away. This was not how you expected to reunite with your best friend after so long. 

“Sorry,” He replied, his voice low. “My shirt’s in there.”

You nodded, refusing to look up. It was quiet for a moment, too quiet that you contemplated just shoving his clothes into his hands while dutifully avoiding the sight of his bare chest. 

But then he was right beside you and he smelled so, so good as he leaned over you, his hand gently grasping your waist. To take a shirt. Very unnecessary but it still left you inhaling sharply. Feeling yourself go dizzy as you stood there, eyes trained on the ground, and every single muscle in all of human anatomy completely rigid until you were sure he was properly dressed.

Taking a peek, you were met with his teasing smile.

“Everything okay?”

“Yes,” You mustered.

“You were staring weren’t you?” He leaned even closer, his eyes searching yours with amusement. His hand gently lifted your chin up, making you swallow thickly at the way he was gazing at you with a small smirk. 

“I wasn’t,” You whispered shakily.

“Hm,” He hummed. “You look a little flushed though.”

“It was nothing,” You shoved him away, feeling like your face was on fire. “You shouldn’t just walk around like that. It’s…”

“Mhm.” He only continued to smile wider. “Whatever you say.”

You groaned, abruptly turning away to hide your reddening cheeks. But then your eyes landed back on that same hoodie.

“I know that look on your face,” He teased, picking it up. “You like it.”

“I don’t.”

“Okay,” He simply replied, shrugging and turning around. You were just about to question his suspiciously short response when out of nowhere, he whipped back around and pulled the hoodie over you. Immediately, you were encompassed in warmth and– did he always smell this good? And why was he staring at you so softly with that stupid fond smile and why was your heart beating a mile a minute and–

“Hyunjae,” You groaned. “What was that for?”

But he stayed silent, simply examining you wearing his clothes. You tilted your head.

“Do I look good?”

His breath hitched and now it was him with reddening cheeks as he backed away. You stifled a laugh as you stepped forward, cornering him against the edge of the kitchen counter.

“And I know that look on your face,” You teased back. “You like it.”

His eyes fluttered, almost like he was fighting the urge to look over your body once again. He inhaled deeply and then he straightened, leaning over you this time. With a subtle smile, he whispered something that left shivers down your spine.

“I love it.”

Oh my god. You treaded backwards, suddenly feeling conscious of everything. His eyes on you–all over you–the way the shirt clung to his body, the rushing thought of the fact that you saw him without it on just a few minutes ago–everything came over you like a bucket of ice water.

“I–” With wide eyes, he only continued to approach you, the scent of his shampoo overcoming you quickly. You couldn’t come up with a comeback anymore. At first, you thought that this was just friendly banter, the type that you guys would do in the school cafeteria. But this–this was something different. With the way he was looking at you with darkening eyes, you weren’t quite sure this was that “friendly banter” thing anymore.

“Shut up,” You blurted out as you pulled the hoodie off you and thrust it into his chest.

“Why?” He grinned. “I like this game.”

You raised your eyebrows. “What game is this exactly?”

“The game of making the other person flustered.” 

You stood there for a moment, thinking. You couldn’t quite come up with a verbal comeback. So you could instead…

Taking a step forward, you hooked a hand around the back of his neck, letting your touch linger there for a moment. A stuttering breath was caught thickly in his throat as he looked down at you in bafflement.

And then you let your fingertips trail around, down his neck, across his collarbone, slightly pulling down the hem of his shirt and stopping just at his chest where you could feel his heart thump erratically.

Your trace on his skin left sparks flying in your heart and when you had looked up, you knew that Hyunjae was experiencing the same thing.

He was looking down at you, completely speechless and his eyes round in shock. You smiled in triumph, leaning close to one of his reddening ears.

“Then I win.”

And you were heading for the door. But just as you turned around, you could see Hyunjae who was still leaning against the counter, cheeks now red as he stared down at the ground. You giggled, closing the door behind you.

The next time you saw Hyunjae, unsurprisingly, he looked exhausted again. In fact, he didn’t even recognize you at first with how he was gazing off into space rather than unlocking his own door.

“Come over tonight,” You offered.

He raised an eyebrow. “To do what?”

You choked. “Not that. Movie night!” You winked, patting his shoulder before leaving for the grocery store. You made sure to mentally add popcorn to your list.

And so, when it was pitch dark at night, you had opened your door to Hyunjae, fidgeting nervously at the entrance. You laughed, grabbing his wrist and pulling him in.

“Don’t be nervous.” You grinned. “It’s just me.”

As you set up the movie, you couldn’t help but notice Hyunjae looking around your apartment. He seemed to be taking in all of your decorations, and the fact that you had more than one cup and plate. You smiled.

“We can go shopping if you want,” You spoke up. “For your apartment.”

He glanced at you in shock. But he eventually nodded with a small smile, that same one you noticed that he often forced when he was tired and down.

Now sitting on the couch, side-by-side but never quite touching, the two of you watched a movie. It was a comfortable silence and whenever you would glance at Hyunjae, he would notice and turn his attention back to you. And every time you would make eye contact, you made sure to give him a bright smile, one that showed him that “I’m always here for you.”

"Staring?" He teased.

"In fact I am," You replied. "Forget the movie, you're the award-winning feature."

He laughed again. The same bright one at the park.

"I didn't take you to be such a flirter," He remarked.

"I'm not," You refuted. "You really are amazing."

He gave you a smile that wasn't so convincing. "If you say so."

Near the resolution of the film, you found yourself scooching over to him, letting your shoulders touch. But that wasn’t exactly enough, so you lifted his arm so that you could rest your head on his chest, his body warmth easily spreading to yours.

“What are you doing?” He muttered.

For a second, you thought he might actually be annoyed. But, when you looked up, you could see his softening eyes and the slight blush on his cheeks. You huffed in amusement and you only persisted, snuggling close to his chest. Eventually, he gave up on the whole tough act and he let his arm wrap around you, rubbing your arm in up-and-down motions.

You didn’t notice that you had fallen asleep.

Though you did briefly remember two… moments. One of them was him cautiously bringing you to your bed. The other being a warm hand softly caressing your cheek.

You woke up alone. Good! Who else did you expect? Rubbing your eyes, there was a constant sound ringing in your ears. The doorbell, you groaned. Stumbling to the door, you were hoping maybe… Hyunjae? But instead, it was your landlord. You furrowed your eyebrows in concern.

She sighed, shaking her head.

“Bad news.”

When it was Hyunjae this time who had invited you over, you were pleasantly surprised. Opening the door, you could see him sitting at the table, staring intently at his computer.

Tilting your head, you were about to ask what he was looking at. But then he suddenly jumped up, the chair almost falling over. There was a bright smile on his face as he rushed over to you.

“Hyunjae?” You looked at him in confusion.

“I got the job,” He exclaimed. “I got it.”

“You did?” You gasped. “That’s so– that’s amazing! Congratul–” You inhaled sharply when you felt two hands grasp onto your waist. And suddenly, your whole world shifted once you realized that he was literally picking you up and twirling you around. You laughed shyly as you allowed him to, watching fondly at the way he smiled so, so freely.

Once he had slowed down, there was an impending thought in the back of your mind that appeared from all of the adrenaline. He could put you down and you could lean in and maybe… maybe– press your lips to his as an extra cheer. Mentally slapping yourself, you felt your cheeks grow hot. Again, what were you thinking?

His hands were still on your waist, the both of you out of breath. You smiled, giggling softly. He smiled back, his eyes bright and sparkling.

“I’m proud of you,” You finally said.

“It’s all thanks to you,” He replied.

“Hm, well,” You huffed. “Guess who lost their apartment.”

He gaped at you. “What?”

“Not permanently,” You groaned. “But there’s been a technical problem that has to be investigated and fixed. So I can’t stay there for the meantime.”

He looked at you, deep in thought. And then his hands tightened on your waist. “Then stay here with me.”

Now it was your turn to gawk at him. “What?”

“Please.” He smiled. “I owe you.”

You blushed. “I didn’t do much.”

“You did.” He walked forward, nearly caging you against the wall. “Everything. You’ve helped me get this job.” Another step forward. “I’m indebted to you.”

“H-hyunjae,” You stuttered, trying your best to avoid stealing a glance at his lips.

“Just temporarily.”

You made a mental pro and con list. Pros–He was your childhood best friend meaning that he knew you best. Cons–what if things changed? What if you… fell? And you didn’t mean physically.

With a hesitant sigh in defeat, you responded quietly. 

“Temporarily.”

When you and Hyunjae had art class together, you learned a little bit more about him. He was always the one who enjoyed the sketching, the outlining with the black pen, and shading in grey. You, on the other hand, were the one who would color in between those lines with vibrant colors, brightening the picture into something truly complete. 

That was how you complimented each other. People often painted him out to be cold and blunt, but you always saw past that. It was always you who thought that he was the sweetest person you’ve ever met–the one who took care of you when you were sick and who pulled you away from passing cars.

Just like one of those art projects, you began to liven up his apartment with your own things. Of course, you didn’t bring everything, but the simple pieces of your toothbrush next to his and your coat hung up on the rack, were enough to make the puzzle feel just complete.

Soon enough, the evening came which brought the dilemma of where you would sleep.

“The couch,” Hyunjae spoke up, walking out of the bathroom again, with damp hair. But at least he was fully clothed this time. Still, that vision was practically ingrained into your mind.

“You’re right.” You nodded in agreement. “I’ll–”

“Not you,” He huffed. “Me.”

“Oh,” You breathed out. Abruptly you stood up in defiance. “No!” You blurted out. “That’s rude.”

He looked at you entirely unimpressed. “I’m being a good host. A gentleman.”

“Exactly.” You scowled. “You’re going to make me feel like I’m intruding. And look who invited me in the first place?”

He sighed, glancing at the bedroom door. “There’s only one bed.”

“Then we’ll share,” You replied, completely sure of yourself. Hyunjae didn’t respond so you lifted your chin high and walked past him and into the bedroom as odd as it may sound. However, in the corner of your eye, you could see that his ears were slightly red.

You may have underestimated the sheer awkwardness. Just a bit. Maybe a lot.

The two of you stood on either side of the bed, facing each other, contemplating the fact that this would be the first time you would be sleeping together. Actually, it wasn’t really awkward per se. It was more… hilarious. You pursed your lips, trying to stifle your laughter, while Hyunjae’s cheeks were puffed out in embarrassment.

Again, as the bolder one, you climbed under the sheets first. Still, Hyunjae was just standing, hesitating. You squinted up at him through the darkness. 

Even under the dim lighting, you could see that his cheeks were incredibly flushed. 

“I think I’ll just go back to the–” He couldn’t even finish his sentence because you were grabbing onto his hand and pulling him down into bed. He didn’t really protest though as you could sense him slowly melting into the warmth of it.

The lamp was off now and you were both succumbed to darkness. It was silent, only the sound of Hyunjae’s calm breathing. You weren’t exactly tired right now. You knew that it would take you a while to fall asleep. But that was fine! You would just wait until he fell asleep first.

Except, when you turned on your side to face him, you could see him staring back, big, round doe eyes on you. So, scratch that. And now you were cold which you weren’t used to. Your apartment was usually the perfect temperature, but this one left you shivering all over.

Unconsciously, you began to shift closer to his body. He’s always been the warm one. That used to be your strategy to not freeze to death when the two of you would walk down the winter festival together.

Suddenly though, you felt an arm across your waist and steady breathing on the side of your neck.

“Hm?” You hummed in confusion, wondering if the chest against your shoulder was just a hallucination. 

But then he replied in a quiet, lower voice.

“Is this okay?” He whispered.

Oh, this was more than okay. You were familiar with his embrace. But to feel it just moments before you fell asleep brought a sudden bout of tranquility.

“Perfect.” You smiled to yourself, curling up to his body in which he held you closer in response. It was warm, comforting, just perfect. It didn’t take you a while to fall asleep anymore. 

When you awoke, you were slightly—no, very confused about why it was still dark out. You were pretty sure the room should be bright with natural light from the sun. Or maybe you’ve just gone crazy. But that was when you glanced at the time. It was still the middle of the night.

When you turned to your side, that was also when you realized that it was Hyunjae who had woken you up. Unknowingly at that. His arm was still around your waist but this time, his hold was almost painfully tight. If you looked closely, you could see that his eyes were screwed shut, his eyebrows twitching with small stuttering breaths escaping him.

But, you’ve always heard the saying that you weren’t supposed to wake someone up from a nightmare. So you hesitated, keeping your hands close to yourself, worriedly watching. At some point, he jolted awake by himself.

Now, his breathing was even faster and he had shot up, looking around frantically. Blinking your eyes sleepily, you turned on the nearby light and sat up with him.

“Hyunjae?” You whispered, looking him over in concern.

He turned to you in a growing distraught state and he widened his eyes. “Are you–”

“It’s just me,” You muttered. “Bad dream?”

Hyunjae froze for a moment but he slowly nodded. And usually, it was you who initiated the hugs. But this time, he was the one who lunged forward, holding you close to his chest. His hands grasped onto you tightly as he buried his nose into your neck.

With the way he was holding you so tightly, so… desperately, you wondered if this had happened before. But still, you allowed him to just hold you close, your own arms coming around to gently pat his back.

You didn’t know when, but he eventually pulled away. He refused to look you in the eye and so you brought a gentle hand to the side of his face, coaxing him to face you.

“How long has this been going on for?” You frowned.

He shut his eyes. “A while.”

Your heart clenched at his quiet response. For the past few days, you had thought he was feeling better, less exhausted. But behind the bedroom door, it must be different.

“Do you… want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know…” He trailed off.

“You don’t have to tell me–”

“...what they’re about.”

“Oh,” You breathed. “The nightmares?”

He nodded with tired eyes. “But while I was gone–away from you–people I’ve loved, everything I’ve cherished seemed to disappear before my eyes. It wasn’t just work it was… a lot.” His voice was quiet, hard to hear but it was loud enough that you could hear each and every heart-twisting emotion.

You stayed silent, your hand finding his to stroke the back of it soothingly.

“I felt hopeless.” He frowned. “I guess those nightmares felt like I was reliving that all over again.”

He didn’t say anything after that. You watched him cautiously, wondering what exactly to do. But then you felt his hand tighten on yours slightly and that was your cue to shift even closer.

He glanced at you with an ashamed expression that only made the pit in your stomach drop even more. Slowly, slow enough so that he could back away if he wanted to, you wrapped an arm around him, pulling him close against you. Almost instantly, he was breathing out a low sigh of relief as he nuzzled even further into your embrace.

“You’re not alone anymore,” You whispered. “And… thank you for trusting me enough to tell me.”

He didn’t say anything, but when he held you back, it was a perfect answer. The two of you stayed like that, in the dead of night, just holding each other until you began to feel drowsy from his warmth. It wasn’t the first time that you’ve done so. The only difference was that it was always you who needed that extra piece of comfort. It was never Hyunjae. Seeing him open up was different but something that you were most grateful for.

“I never replied to you the day we met in the hallway,” He spoke, interrupting your thoughts. 

You pondered for a moment, recalling the memory. “When I said that I missed you?”

He nodded. “I didn’t reply because I was afraid you would still be mad at me for leaving you so abruptly.”

You smiled softly and shook your head, your hand coming up to the back of his head to stroke his hair soothingly. His eyes widened slightly in shock but he quickly melted into your touch. “I was angry at first.”

He laughed quietly, though his voice was watery with unfallen tears.

“But now I’m not,” You whispered. “I promise. I’m just happy to see you again.”

He pulled away to look up at you, searching your face to make sure that you were telling the truth. When you only gazed back with utmost sincerity, he let a small smile tug on his lips.

“I missed you,” He had finally replied, answering your statement from before. “More than you know. It was hard without you.”

Your gaze softened once you noticed the sparkle of a few tears in his eyes and when he blinked, your sleeve was immediately coming up to pat his cheek, drying the ones that had broken free.

“I missed you too,” You responded and gently, you were pulling him back into bed. And this time, without hesitation, he was hooking both of his arms around you, tightening you into his chest.

“...so much,” He muttered sleepily. “I missed you so much.”

“You have me now.”

“Always.” And you felt his hand grasp yours, guiding it to where his heart was, thumping in a soothing rhythm. “In here.”

You were the first one to wake up. It seemed that Hyunjae’s nightmare and tears had left him too exhausted to even notice you unwrapping yourself from his protective embrace. And so, you took it as your duty to cook something decent for him to wake up to.

Except maybe Hyunjae did notice because he opened the door shortly after. You probably should have placed a pillow in his arms before you left. He walked out and you had to stop yourself from cooing because that would be a little bit… weird. But you couldn’t help it because the sight of his hair tousled and messy, his eyes barely opened and puffy from the tears, and his lips pouted adorably, left you smiling with endearment.

“Morning sleepyhead.” You grinned, turning the stove on. 

He didn’t say anything. Instead, he shuffled over to where you were standing behind the kitchen counter. 

You tilted your head in amusement, wondering how he managed to navigate with his eyes barely open. “Are you feeling better?”

Again, still no response. You watched as he circled the counter, positioning himself behind you. And then you gasped quietly once you registered the strong arms that enveloped your waist, pulling you into a warm hug, your back now pressed up against his chest. You could even feel his nose nuzzling into the back of your neck, breathing deeply.

You simply just froze, unable to do anything. Once you realized he wasn’t going to move anytime soon, you turned the stove off and simply allowed him to hug you to his heart’s content. He let out a sleepy hum. Or was it a whine?

“You’re clingy in the morning,” You mused.

“Mhm.” Even his morning voice was cute.

And when you said sleepy, you meant it. Literally–you were pretty sure he fell asleep while back-hugging you in the middle of the kitchen. You practically had to hold on to the counter to brace his weight and when you stole a glance over your shoulder, you had to stifle a laugh. His cheek was smushed into your shoulder and his eyes shut in content.

“O–kay,” You heaved, forcing your body to turn around. And still, he would have almost collapsed into you if you hadn’t planted your hands on his shoulders to hold him up. His head lolled to the side as he peeked an eye open to look at you drowsily.

You chuckled and your hand came up to his hair to ruffle it. Immediately, he was leaning into your touch and when your hand traveled down to cup his cheek, he was nuzzling into it like a puppy.

“I missed you,” He slurred, his voice huskier than usual.

“Mm, you said that already,” You hummed teasingly, a smile threatening to spread across your lips. “Hyunjae.”

“Hm?” He smiled lazily.

“You’re acting drunk and it’s like–” You glanced at the clock. “Seven in the morning.”

“And what about it? I missed you,” He grumbled, an adorable frown on his lips.

“Ah,” You sighed, shaking your head. “Go splash water on your face, you dummy. Then you’ll wake up properly.”

He still didn’t budge. And so, using every single ounce of your strength, you had to carry him all the way to the bathroom as he was still clinging onto you like a koala.

After a few minutes, with the sound of the bathroom sink splashing in the background, you finally managed to start cooking something. But then the door clicked open and you looked up. Hyunjae, his eyes finally open, was blushing so hard that you couldn’t even conceal your laugh anymore.

“Missed me?” You remarked.

He winced in response, his cheeks continuing to flame red.

“I don’t know what got into me,” He muttered, refusing to look you in the eye.

You beckoned him over and he finally looked up at you shyly.

“It was cute,” You teased. “You’re cute when you’re sleepy.”

“And what else?” He quickly recovered.

Your breath hitched. Ah, you thought. There he was. The usual Hyunjae when he was fully awake. The one who loved to tease you until you were blushing and hiding your face. 

“Don’t do this again,” You groaned.

“Do what?”

“That.”

“You’ll have to elaborate on that, sweetheart.”

You raised an eyebrow at the nickname, completely unfazed. But when your eyes traveled down, that was when you realized just how close he was. He continued to lean forward until he was caging you against the counter, both of his hands on either side of you. It wasn’t the flirting that got you, it was his body encompassing you so, so effortlessly, making you feel smaller than you really were. 

He chuckled. “Cat got your tongue?”

Oh, this is definitely how best friends act. You were one hundred percent sure about that. 

He smirked, tilting his chin down, as his hand traveled from the edge of the counter down to your hip. 

Fifty percent. 

His eyes wandering elsewhere–somewhere along the lines of your lips.

One percent.

“The breakfast is going to burn,” You stuttered.

He simply licked his lips, his gaze fixated on yours.

“I can always try something else.”

You were screwed.

The first day of Hyunjae’s new job was the very last day of your brief vacation from work. With a sigh, you scrolled through the shows and movies, only for you to ultimately turn off the TV in boredom. You weren’t going to beat around the bush and refuse to admit that you felt lonely without him. Of course, you saw him in the morning, already dressed in a suit (that fit amazingly on him, dare you add), but it was only for a short moment.

He still had nightmares but they were becoming less and less frequent. Sometimes, when they happened, you would just pull him closer and he would immediately relax with a small sigh, almost like you had the superpower to eliminate his night terrors.

And sleeping together never was awkward again. In fact, you adequately enjoyed it–his arms around you and vice versa. Did best friends regularly cuddle at night and gaze at each other for so long that your heartbeat started to speed up? That… you weren’t quite sure about.

Yawning, you found yourself lying down, spreading across the couch. You didn’t even do much today yet your eyes still threatened to shut close.

At some point, you blinked your eyelids open once you heard the door unlocking. Sitting up, you smiled softly at the sight of Hyunjae opening the door. His tie was already loose and his hair was blown up from the wind. Squinting your eyes, you then noticed that he was practically stumbling into the entrance, almost like all of his coordination had dissipated. 

His eyes were droopy and his lips pouted from what you would guess to be exhaustion. Everyone’s first day of work was like that. You watched as he set down his work bag and walked over to you, very… very slowly.

“How was work?” You questioned, looking up at him.

And just like last time, he didn’t respond. Silently, he leaned forward and literally–very literally–laid on top of you. His body weight pulled you back down to lie on the couch and his arms were snaking around you as his legs tangled with yours. Speechless, you felt as he nuzzled back into your neck, just like he’s begun to do so often now.

“You look gorgeous today,” He whispered, his voice very oddly slurred.

Your breath hitched. “Are you drunk?”

He looked up at that and you practically choked on air once you realized how close his face was to yours. And then he smiled languidly and shook his head.

“Are you sure?” You searched him for any sign–red cheeks, the scent of the alcoholic drink–yet you couldn’t find any. 

“I’m just tired,” He mumbled, planting his face back into the crook of your neck.

“Okay,” You laughed. Gently, your hand came up to his broad back to rub it in circles, the material of the suit rough and honestly quite unsatisfying. But still, you persisted once you felt his tense muscles slowly soften. Slowly though, you came to a stop. “Hyunjae.”

“Hm?” He hummed.

“You need to take a shower,” You huffed. “C’mon.” With all of your power, you pushed him up and off you. Again, his head tilted to the side with a tired smile. You laughed and shoved him until he finally obliged and went off to the bathroom.

Meanwhile, you were left there, contemplating his strange behavior. He never acted this clingy before. Not even for the years that you’ve known him. It was only after that particular night that he started to… do this.

When he was done showering, he stepped out. You had hoped that he would be more awake now, but it seemed he was even drowsier than before–too tired to even dry his own hair. With a click of your tongue, you motioned him over to sit down. Like a puppy, his eyes brightened at the sight of you as he obediently followed.

“You’ll catch a cold,” You ridiculed with a worried frown.

After finding a towel, you stepped in between his legs. Carefully, you began to dry his damp hair, marveling at the way his hair curled up after a shower. You rubbed his scalp, making your way around and behind his ears. When you peeked at his expression, you stifled a laugh at the way he basically fell asleep under your touch.

Once you deemed his hair dry enough, you were about to walk away but instead, he abruptly stood up, swaying slightly. And then he fell forward, pulling you into a warm embrace.

You smiled fondly. “Tired?”

It seems that when Hyunjae was tired, he never answered any of your questions, funnily enough. A lot of his answers were just “I missed you” or a small hum. But this… this answer was different. It was spoken so quietly, so softly yet it perfectly resonated through your ears. 

“I love you.”

Before you could even say anything or really do anything, he was reluctantly pulling away and heading to the bedroom. Your lips parted as your eyes fixated on absolutely nothing. Just– space. Your whole body had gone rigid as you simply stood there, processing his words. You couldn’t even blink. 

Best friends… say that too, don’t they?

It started to become a pattern for the whole first week of his new job. When he was actually fully awake, he told you that the work was demanding yet he never looked so happy and content. Sometimes, you wondered what his past work was like, but you never prodded.

But, because the work was just so demanding, every single day, from Monday to Friday, he came home exhausted. And any person would expect him to just head straight for bed. But like you said, it was a pattern, a usual thing, that he would cling on to you. Apparently, something had shifted in him. Originally, when you saw him exhausted, he would become closed off. But after… that night, he acted almost intoxicated. Not on a drink. But simply off being tired.

You found it endearing actually. His voice was always quieter and he often stumbled over his words this way. His eyes were dazed and soft on yours and he also became ten times heavier as he liked to lay all of his weight on you when he pulled you into a hug. He constantly just seemed to be in a completely different mindset–one that was very… loving and… yeah– different.

He liked to say things too. Slurred and quiet, but he still very clearly said them. You could never figure out if he meant them or if he was just tired and rambling things for the fun of it.

He said “I misssed you” a lot. Occasionally, he would blurt out that you looked pretty or beautiful. Or, it would be a small “hi” accompanied by a shy smile. Sometimes, if he was too tired to say much, he would just giggle over nothing in particular. But… there was one specific phrase that he would say out of the blue.

“I love you.”

That one always left you perplexed. It could be a… platonic thing to say, right? Where did the word “love” come from? You didn’t think much of it, but you couldn’t help but feel some sort of spark of light in the very depths of your heart.

It was weird, really. An out-of-this-world, alien-like thing for a best friend to say. The words I, love, and you arranged in that particular order were never syllables Hyunjae ever let fall from his lips. He never spent any particular ounce of breath to say them. 

Yet now he did.

For some odd reason.

But again, he was just tired. Surely.

And just like before, the pattern started all over again. The week was coming to a close so maybe you wouldn’t hear those words again after this. But you didn’t really mind altogether. With a tired sigh, you walked out of the room, now changed out of your work clothes and into something more comfortable.

Right on cue, the main door was unlocking, and once again, the pattern began to unweave itself. He would walk in, with the occasional misstep and stumble. And like usual, he looked tired. Though, you envied his ability to still look… attractive. And then he would look up, search for a particular someone, and do that stupidly lazy smile–the one where his eyes weren’t focused on anything but you.

“What are you doing here?” He giggled–he giggled now, apparently.

You eyed him, completely apathetic. “You let me stay here temporarily, remember?”

He blinked at you with an adorable pout. And then he nodded. “You’re right.” He smiled. “Aren’t you smart?” He pinched your cheek. 

Scowling, you wrestled his hands off. And for the first time this week, you finally decided to question his bizarre behavior.

“Why are you acting like this?” You whined, holding him up by his arms so he wouldn’t fall over you like he had done the day before.

“Because I missed you,” He grumbled, his eyes struggling to stay open. “Now let me–”

“Agh,” You groaned. But still, your hands fell to your sides as you let him wrap his arms around your torso, bringing you close to his chest. Whatever made him happy, was your motive. And totally not, I secretly enjoy this.

It was quiet for a few moments, just the sound of his slow breathing against your earlobe. For a minute, you worried that he had fallen asleep already, but he spoke again.

“Have I mentioned how uncomfortable this suit is?” He mumbled. “It’s very hot and–”

You didn’t even say anything. With a sigh–one that wasn’t particularly annoyed, but more… doting–you stepped away. He stared at you in both drowsiness and slight confusion, but his eyes slowly widened once he realized that you were taking off the jacket for him. Gently, you pulled it off his shoulders and down his arms, your eyebrows slightly furrowed in concentration.

He was quiet, simply watching as your fingers grasped his tie, unloosening it with a sharp pull, causing him to lurch forward, his lips startlingly close to yours. 

“Interesting,” He teasingly remarked, but his voice was still slurred.

“Shut up,” You snapped yet there was no malice behind your tone.

Your hands then came up to his collar, unbuttoning the first few buttons to reveal slightly past his collarbones which… you’ve already accidentally witnessed before. With a friendly pat on his shoulder, you deemed him undressed enough. He slowly turned his gaze to you and your breath hitched at the sight– his work attire now loose with his hair slightly messy… ah. Not to mention, his tilted head and sleepy expression that only made things worse.

Clearing your throat, feeling your cheeks burn, you scrambled off somewhere to shove a change of clothes into his hands and left abruptly, your heart thumping. Soon enough–you didn’t know when because you were busy contemplating all of your feelings and the meaning of life–he walked into the bedroom. Undoing the made bed, you motioned him to climb in. Obediently, he followed and you pulled the blankets over him.

“Y/n,” He muttered, grasping your wrist before you could walk away.

“Hm?”

“...love you,” He whispered.

Again, he was just rambling. He was just saying things. He had stumbled over his words and his voice was quiet, so that meant that he didn’t mean it. He didn’t mean any of it. It was all fake–

“I love you,” He repeated—clearer, louder this time without an inch of hesitation. And this time, he was looking straight up at you, his cheeks slightly pink, flushed.

Maybe it was more real than you had thought.

The first week was over, meaning Hyunjae was more situated at work and most importantly, less exhausted. On the first day of his new, non-intoxicated-on-fatigue persona, he had simply greeted you and strolled past. You wouldn’t admit it fully to him but that simple interaction that did better fit what you guys were–best friends–left you feeling empty inside.

But it was fine. It was just a one-week thing.

Until it wasn’t.

The next day, the pattern appeared again, but it wasn’t… like before.

He was fully awake this time yet he still–

“Hyunjae?” You stammered. The arms wrapped around your waist tightened further as he stood behind you, hooking his chin over your shoulder, and breathing out a low sigh. And now that he was newly… conscious, he did more. His hands began to wander over you in soothing shapes and he pressed his chest further against your back.

“Just stay here with me.” 

You could see his soft smile in the corner of your eye. With a bothered huff, you glanced back at him, only for you to inhale sharply at how close he actually was and how… nice his cologne smelt. Oh, and his hands were still wandering.

“I thought you only acted like this when you’re tired?”

He shook his head, shifting even closer, his warmth encompassing you comfortingly.

“Do you want to know something about me?”

“I know a lot about you,” You joked.

But he was quiet, a serious silence befalling the two of you. You gulped and whispered a small “what is it?”

You could hear him huff out in amusement, his hands never failing to leave your waist. “While I was away–when I was at my lowest–I thought of someone all those years.”

And for some reason, you knew exactly what the answer was. 

But still, your voice tremored. “Who?”

A squeeze on your waist.

“You.”

Shutting your eyes, you breathed out a shaky sigh and looked down to where he was still hugging you from behind. Your heart was thumping and you were sure he could hear you. And even if he could make out the pounding, he never budged once. Not once did he stop tightening his arms around you and not once did he cease to bury his nose somewhere into your skin, leaving shivers down your spine.

With your heartbeat practically reaching your ears, you nudged him and turned around so that now, you were facing him. Without his dazed, sleepy look, it was just his soft eyes and the slightest tug of his lips, an endeared smile. Without his exhaustion that often left him sluggish, it was just his firm, stronger arms that held you so easily.

“Hyunjae,” You whispered. 

“Sweetheart,” He replied, his voice gentle and content. And before, you wouldn’t have paid a single ounce of attention to that nickname because it just seemed like how best friends would fool around. But now… things were different and you weren’t sure how exactly. And so the name sweetheart now left your cheeks flushing.

You swallowed thickly, your breath shortening. “Do you know how much you confuse me?”

His smile only grew. “Elaborate on that.” A pause. “Sweetheart.”

You sighed, biting your lip with mortification. “That. The nickname.”

“Sweetheart? You never said you didn’t like it, I can stop if you want—“

“Don’t!” You rushed to say. You blushed more once you realized he was teasing you again, his eyes glinting with amusement. “Not just the nickname. Everything.”

“Like what?” He stepped closer if that was even possible.

You gazed up at him and you were sure you looked frustrated right now, judging by his fond smile. He always said you looked cute when mad.

“You say that you miss me all the time.”

“Because I do.” He dipped his head lower to look at you with those foolish, puppy-like eyes. “I think of you whenever I’m at work.”

“But,” You exhaled shakily. “Do you realize that you say something else?” 

You were sure he wasn’t aware. He didn’t seem to be in the right state of mind whenever he was exhausted. So maybe, he would just stare at you in utter confusion, deny it, and this whole… feeling fiasco would be done and dealt with. But then—

“That I love you?”

Your lips parted in surprise and you peered up at him, wondering if he was just taking a wild guess. But no, the soft, genuine look on his face said it all.

“You… knew?” You stuttered.

“Of course I did,” He chuckled softly. “And I meant every single one.”

Eyebrows furrowing, you stepped backward from shock. As you avoided his eyes, you missed the nervousness and the unsureness that flitted across his face. But, just that one step away left chills down your body–as if being away from Hyunjae and his embrace wasn’t even natural anymore.

And so you stepped forward again. Immediately, you could hear a low sigh of relief escape Hyunjae’s lips and feel his hands snake back around your waist protectively. You weren’t sure what expression was on his face though, as you were very adamant on staring directly at his tie–his chest. You knew that he could still see your reddening cheeks, but you still preferred not to look him in the eye. 

“That,” He said quietly. “You’re also quite confusing too.”

“Wh-what?” 

“Stepping away and stepping back,” He spoke softly. “Looking me in the eye but refusing to when I say that I love you.” One of his hands left your waist to gently guide your chin up. “So look at me now.” 

“I…” You trailed off, feeling yourself go weak just from his soft, loving gaze.

“And one more thing.” He tilted his head teasingly.

A pause. A great moment of silence.

“You don’t say it but you show it.”

“Hyunjae,” You breathed out, your heart beating like a loud, intense drum.

“I wasn’t completely unaware.” He smirked. His hand had already left your chin and found its place back to your waist, yet you found yourself staring straight into his dark eyes, stuck in a trance. “I know that you dried my hair with a towel–that you even undressed me. I know that you took care of me.”

You did do that all on your own accord, simply because you thought that you were being a perfectly good friend. But now that you thought about it–you didn’t have to. You could have easily pushed him off, and told him to do everything on his own but you didn’t. And it was all because you–

“So tell me then,” He whispered, his voice quiet–only for you to hear, almost like he wanted you all to himself. “What are we?”

You held your breath, your cheeks growing hot. Your hands rested on his chest and you could feel his heart pound, exactly like yours. He felt the same, you realized. With a shaky sigh, you gazed up at him.

“What do you want us to be?”

He hummed, a soft smile on his lips. “What do I want?” 

He slightly reworded your question and you wondered why. But you nodded, your eyes studying his features. His handsome features. They were sharp when you had met him in that hallway. But his keen eyes, the angle of his eyebrows, his perpetual frown–they were just soft, soft on you. No longer was there a frown, but just an affectionate smile.

“What do you want?” You repeated his question, your voice hushed to a whisper.

He leaned in, his gaze warm and gentle, his eyes wandering over each and every detail of your face.

“I want to love you.”

You had expected to inhale sharply, gasp maybe–but no. Because everything made sense to you now. His kind words, his soft and fleeting touches across your body, it all pointed to one thing. And so, instead, you smiled shyly.

“Then love me.”

And just like that, his grip on your hips tightened and he turned you around so that your back was facing the door. He was walking you backward until you felt the hard surface against your shoulder blades and he was leaning down, close enough that if he inched further, he would be kissing you. But he didn’t–not yet.

“May I?” He muttered, looking over you with slight concern. 

You nodded, embarrassingly with a bit too eagerness. He laughed softly and then he was fitting his lips against yours as your eyes fluttered closed. The press of it was gentle and tender as he tilted your chin up and angled himself so that it was more comfortable. The kiss was unlike any that you’ve experienced before. It was like the tension that had built up before had completely broken down, as you allowed yourself to just fall.

Fall, physically, almost because you felt your knees go weak, with only the door behind you to hold you up. But his hand traveled back down to your waist, hooking you in against his body, keeping you steady as he muffled a groan against your lips. You couldn’t hear anything but his breathing and the thumping of your own heart. 

All you could think of was him–how he could so easily change from rough to soft, how he could push forward so quickly but pull away so easily to allow you a gasp of breath, and how he could make your heart pound yet lull it into a steady rhythm of love. He kissed like he could devour you, but if you decided to peek an eye open, you would see his adorably furrowed eyebrows and his flushed cheeks, showing that he wasn’t anything like that.

He was just a man who needed a bit of a sweetener in his life.

With a quiet noise, he pulled away. Immediately, his eyes searched over your features, making sure that you were okay and that he didn’t do too much. But, when you gave him a smile, your eyes flitting nervously, he grinned and leaned in to grant you another soft kiss.

“How long?” You laughed shyly.

“I came to the realization when you tried to cheer me up whenever I was tired. But I think I’ve already felt this way for a while.” He replied. He pinched your cheek again. “All those dates and extra care that you gave me…very cute thing to do.”

Your eyes went wide. “You… noticed?”

“I notice a lot of things, sweetheart,” He teased. “Like how you’re grabbing onto my suit to pull me into a kiss right now.”

“O-oh,” You stammered, letting go of his crumpled collar. “I didn’t realize I–”

He shook his head and before you could finish your sentence, he was cupping your cheek–something that he’s never done before–and guiding you back to his lips. And this time, his tongue swiped against your lip, making you gasp quietly.

“You taste like candy.” His gaze fixated on your lips.

“I didn’t know you could…” You had to stop for a second to catch your breath. And it wasn’t just because of his exceptional kissing, but it was the beat of your heart, of all of your love. “...you could kiss like that.”

“What can I say?” He tilted his head with a teasing look. “I guess I have a sweet tooth.”

“Trust me on this,” Younghoon whined. “I followed the instructions to the very dot. They’ll taste good. Promise.”

You eyed him skeptically but still, you picked up one of the cookies that he had baked. They looked a little… off, but it should be fine. Taking a bite, you took note of the odd texture, and then the taste started to register on your tongue.

You coughed. You choked. And then you threw the cookie back on the plate. 

“Bitter,” You gagged. “It’s so bitter.”

“What?” He cried. “Are you kidding me–”

Your eyes lit up once you remembered your boyfriend who was sitting next to you on the couch. He was busy on his computer, doing some sort of work report but you ignored that, turning to him and grasping his collar tightly. You pulled him in, pressing your lips to his, causing him to let out a small “mmph” in surprise.

But almost instantly, he turned into jelly from your touch, a smile growing on his lips as his eyes fluttered close. He had tried to deepen it desperately but you pulled away shortly after, leaving him to chase after your lips adorably.

Younghoon gawked. “I’m right here.”

“So?” You shrugged, smiling innocently. “At least he tastes sweet.”

“Oh my god,” Younghoon mumbled, getting up to throw the cookies into the garbage can. 

Meanwhile, Hyunjae was staring at you in a daze, his cheeks flushed. But, he quickly recovered and he was quick to pounce on you, pressing kisses all over you once Younghoon had left.

“A warning next time would be great.”

He was now hovering over you on the couch, caging you under his arms and his computer long forgotten. The position left you flushing but it was also the perfect one to knee him in the stomach.

He winced in pain. "What was that for?"

"A warning, you said," You mocked. "When literally yesterday you kissed me up against a wall in your own workplace."

"That's an exception." He smirked. "You liked it, didn't you?"

"I..." You blushed, remembering the way he had kissed you so fervently, dressed in that suit and tie, the thrill of getting caught still running through your veins. "It was alright."

"Sure, sweetheart," He whispered in a teasing tone. He looked annoying handsome like this, with that amused smile that contrasted his soft, loving gaze. "Then I'll make sure you like this one."

Oh, how you despised him.

And then his lips were on yours again, swallowing up any shy noises that threatened to escape you. But just before he did, he had whispered three quiet words against your lips.

"I love you."

And how you loved him too.

[robinsno1lesbian]

Hehehe i thought of a way older!nancy would fit into the neighbor!robin AU and im thinking like nancy is friends with both readers parents and Robin, I’m thinking like readers mom is also a journalist and works with nancy and well Robin obviously knows nancy.

But like she starts coming around to readers house more and accidentally walks in on Robin and reader🫣🫣 and Robin is like freaking out because her best friend just walked in on her and her neighbors daughter, but instead Nancy points out something Robin is doing wrong, like reader is possibly bound/being choked and Nancy points out some safety issues and well…the rest is history 🫣

neighbor!robin x nancy wheeler x fem!reader

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1079

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 18+ mature content! (MDNI), implied age gap (reader is 18+!!) , makeshift handcuffs, implied threesome, fingering, strap-ons, idk if that's a tw really but reader and robin get caught

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: literally screaming right now vix OH MY GOD- idk if this is still considered a drabble but enjoy <33 (also smut right below the cut so beware of that)

robin loves to make you scream.

and with how she’s pounding into you right now, you’ve got every reason to.

your arms are tied to your headboard, right above your head. you can’t move and you can hardly see, tears streaming down the side of your face. trails of mascara run down your cheeks, all because of how good it feels to be fucked mindless by robin buckley.

her belt has been wrapped around your arms multiple times, before she has tied it to your bed. you can hardly move like that, with no other choice left but to take all she’s giving you.

and god, she’s giving you plenty.

“oh my god robin, fuck”

her skilled fingers flick your clit before they return to your entrance, meeting no resistance at all as she dips them into you. your head falls back and your back arches when two of her fingers penetrate you. her digits are slim and long -much longer than yours- reaching depths you could never reach on your own.

you’re quite literally squirming beneath her, your body moving against her hand while she’s fucking you into literal oblivion.

you have lost all track of time, that’s how good she is making you feel. it must have been hours since she first entered your room and the aftershocks of your previous orgasms are still rippling through you.

and now your third one of the afternoon is about to flood your veins. the hot coil is already tightening in your lower abdomen, the sensation so good your eyes roll back in your head.

“f-fuck robin i’m almost- i-“ you cry. “you’re- you’re gonna make me cum again robin-“

but before she can push you over the edge by just one more thrust of her fingers, the door to your room flies open and you’re completely taken aback.

you're on the edge of cumming and yet your brain is no longer foggy with the build-up of your orgasm. you are thinking crystal clear now, fully capable of understanding that you and robin have been caught.

robin notices right after you do. she immediately jumps back and throws a blanket over your exposed lower body, leaving your breasts on full display to whoever has walked in on you.

“holy shit i- i’m so sorry”

the voice causes your head to spin; it is one you recognize. a voice you know all too well.

the person standing in your doorway is nancy wheeler.

of course, it is nancy: the two of you were supposed to meet up today. realization dawns on you, it truly must have been several hours of this.

and now you're spread out on your bed, hands still tied above your head, without a chance to cover yourself or robin. truth be told, there is no way to excuse what you've been doing.

"nancy oh my god" robin jumps up to stand in front of the bed, trying to get in the way of nancy's gaze. "this isn't- i can explain"

the sound of robin's voice is so unfamiliar. you've never seen her this freaked out, this scared. "look we- i mean i-" her voice is trembling now and even though you can't see her face from where you're laying, you know fear must be written all over it. never has she ever been this way around you.

"jesus buckley" you could be mistaken but is that amusement in nancy wheeler's voice? "don't worry about it" nancy's heels click against the floor when she steps closer. something in robin's posture changes too, like tension is released from her body. "i-" "shh" nancy hushes and cuts her off. she's standing right in front of robin now, staring up at here calmly. "i wanna show you something" her gaze meets yours for a second. "is that okay?" your throat has gone dry and it takes all your strength to speak up. "y-yeah" immediately, she looks back up at robin. "see the way you've tied her to the bed?" something about her words, about her being here and not minding one bit, does things to you that you can't seem to wrap your head around. you want robin, you know that now. but nancy? you didn't think your little sexuality crisis could get any worse than this. and yet...the way she's looking up at robin and her eyes keep glaring over at you...it makes you want her in ways you've only ever wanted robin before.

the question seems to catch robin off guard, as if she had expected something entirely different.

"uhm-yeah" she nods after giving your makeshift handcuffs a quick glance. "fun but...you can do better than that robin"

"what?" "listen" she crosses her arms. "i can walk out of that door and pretend this never happened. i can forget about this if that's what you want. pretend like i don't see the way you've looked at each other before..." nancy taps her index finger against her chin as if in thought.

"or you allow me to help" you don't even bother to stop yourself from nodding, causing both robin and nancy to look at you. "you want this?" robin questions. she grins sheepishly and you know she has already made up her mind. "y-yeah"

nancy steps next to robin and leans forward, her arms resting both of her palms on your footboard. "what is it that you want?" you watch when robin crosses her arms, tongue pressed against the inside of her cheek. she wants a show and you're willing to give her that.

"ruin me"

that is how you end up on your front, with your head pressed against the many pillows on your bed. both of your hands have been tied behind your back by nancy who is now kneeling right behind robin. robin, who is currently pounding into you at a brutal pace, both hands on your hips. you can't see either of them, but you can hear their voices. "see? that's much better isn't it?" nancy mumbles. "she's taking it so well too, god-"

"isn't she?" robin leans forward, causing the strap to sink even deeper into you. her front is pressing down on you, her lips the closest to your ear they could be. "such a good girl" "please" you babble. "please please please" all while you're throwing your hips back against her over and over again, fucking yourself on the strap. "i think she wants us" nancy chuckles. "and i think we should give her what she's begging for, don't you robin?"

[awholelotofladybug]

(stammering au) Say Dog owners, why don't you tell us more about your precious pooches?

"Well, Buddy is a yellow lab. He's s-s-s-seventeen inches at the shoulder with a short coat, and technically still a puppy. My mom got him for me as a g-g-g-gift when a friend of hers had a litter of puppies. He's very… He's very playful. His favorite game is Fetch. I play it with him almost every day. He's a lot of responsibility, but he's absolutely w-w-w-worth it."

"My Sophie is a white standard poodle. She's the sweetest thing, very cuddly. She's about twenty-three and a half inches at the shoulder, and we got her a modified continental cut so she looks pretty. Sophie also loves to go swimming and play in puddles. She can get muddy once in a while, I don't mind. I love making my Sophie Baby look all clean and pretty."

"Rex is a European Doberman. He's loyal, intelligent, and tough as nails. My parents got him for me as a gift. He's got a short coat and is twenty-eight inches at the shoulder. Before we adopted him, someone cropped his ears and docked his tail. That's illegal in my country, but whoever did it to him is bound to be dealt with eventually. Rex LOVES to roughhouse. It's exhausting, but whatever makes my Champion happy."

"My little Mitsi is a golden teacup Pomeranian. I found her at the animal shelter and simply had to have her. She's a tiny little thing, about eight and a half inches tall, but that only makes us love her more. She loves playing with her squeaky toys and will play tug-of-war with Rex and one of his rope toys. I almost named her "Fluffy" because of her coat, but "Fluffy" is more of a cat name, so I named her after my great aunt."

I have a Shiba Inu named Gigi. She's around sixteen inches at the shoulder, has a beautiful, golden goat, and the cutest curly tail. Giselle and I picked her up about a year ago when she was just a little puppy. She's such a precious little dog."

"My mom got Luka and me a red wiener dog named Lola. She's adorable. Smart too. She already knows "roll over," "sit up," "shake," and "play dead." She's only nine inches at the shoulder, so she's pretty low to the ground, but she has more love than a truckload of dogs. Sometimes she sneaks into one of our rooms and crawls into bed with us to snuggle. Such an awesome little dog."

"My mother recently gifted me with a Corgi named Toby. He's twelve inches at the shoulder and has a soft red and white coat. I love him, honestly. He's a friendly little guy. It's fun to watch him scamper around, and play with his chew toys. I've never had a pet before, so it's a new experience for me but Toby seems to like me enough. I'm sure it'll work out, as long as I give him food, water, and lots of love."

"I have a yellow Pomeranian named Winston. He's eleven inches tall. I found him at the animal shelter two years ago when he was just a little pup. We've been inseparable ever since. He especially enjoys playing catch, usually with tennis balls or rubber squeaky toys."

"My family recently adopted a French Bulldog named Lulu. She is the sweetest little thing. She's 13 months old, fawn-pied colored, and is about 18 inches tall at the head. Most Frenchies have breathing problems, but not my Lulu. Her snout is just big enough that she can breathe easily. And she is SUCH a loving dog. She adores people, cats, and other dogs. I can't tell you how many times she's jumped up on me to greet me."

[taleofharrison]

I want to share my two cents here cause yeah.

I've only seen three episodes so far and seen all the spoilers (that's on me for not muting words on Twitter) but I think it's enough to speak my mind on Lila this season. Also before we start I'm not a mom nor want to be one and have never been married this ramble is based on what I think the characters are like, conversations I've had with my mom and what I've seen on Desperate Housewives episodes.

I'm not going to talk about Lila and Five cause I know it happens but haven't seen any scenes nevertheless I want y'all to know that I think that was the most random, horrible thing they could've written for those characters, that being let's start with my Lila ramble.

I liked seeing Lila unhappy and non content with her life as a mom because to me it makes sense she grew up with the Handler and was trained to be this perfect spy/assassin so I don't think becoming a mom was ever on her mind; then later on finding out her mom, the only family she remembered, never really loved her must've given her so many doubts and new insecurities.

Then she became a stay-at-home mom from what we heard and that was a huge change to say the least. No more missions, no more powers, no more time travelling and dare I say no more freedom for her because being a mom was never a plan, a pickett fence life was never a goal.

I believe that when she and Diego got married she could see herself being happy with that life being happy and even before that we see the conversations they have about having a baby in season three. She clearly was hoping to make it work, however she became disenchanted with that life and you can't really blame her for that.

What I didn't like, however, was how the writers treated her relationship with Diego, it was horrible even before the Five thing, the relationship was so out of character. Remember Lila took him to the commission and introduced him to the Handler cause up to that point Lila still saw her as her only family and tried to get him a job at the commission so she could still see him and be with him. She loves him since season 2.

I think then having problems after getting married was bound to happen, it was natural both their lives changed drastically but Diego could've been an anchor to Lila and viceversa I think both of them should've made and effort to work things out but no the writers still chose to go the, let's say, easy way out and have Lila cheat on him with his brother no less.

It would've so good and interesting and good to see a Lila who loves her kids but is not content with motherhood cause people assume it's a bed of roses and sometimes it is not and Diego, who clearly knows something's up, help her work out things if you get my drift and find a common ground.

[shallyne]

The Diary of Feyre Archeron Ch 10

Chapter ten! Last chapter before the epilogue. Enjoy!! Full fic on AO3

Words: 1.1k

June 29th

Rhys came with me to the Rainbow today. It has been nerve-wracking if I put it lightly. It took me about an hour before I even could step a foot into the artist's quarter but Rhys was there, reassuring me and giving me the time I needed. I actually wanted to do this after work but Rhys took the day off for us both and we walked to the Rainbow. In my quest to ignore it the past years I never realized how close the quarter was to the lounge.

After I managed to actually walk into the Rainbow (I gripped Rhys's hand the whole time like my life depended on it) I got that sudden feeling of nostalgia. Seeing people carrying canvases and paints, even the street musicians who were in their element. It was such a weird mix of emotions, on one side I wanted to bolt in the other I felt at home there, like I belonged. I teared up just standing there, probably looking like an idiot, but Rhys wiped my tears away with the hand I wasn't squeezing.

We even ate lunch there, right beside a gallery. I haven't gone into the gallery but Rhys and I agreed that this would be the next step, for the next time.

I'm actually excited! It's so strange, tho. Having all these different emotions.

July 12th

Tonight I had the first nightmare that I was alone to deal with. Rhys had to work longer and Elain and Nesta were on a double date with Azriel and Cassian. They invited me, too, but I was so exhausted after therapy that I just fell into bed right after dinner. I assume that's also why I had nightmares again, a lot has come up. I wish someone had been there but I managed, somehow. I didn't throw up and I, fortunately, didn't have a panic attack either. That's good, it's something to celebrate. I really don't know if I should tell Rhys, though, because I know he's going to feel bad for not being there and I don't want him to feel bad. I have to do this alone, it was bound to happen sooner or later. I don't know, I'll think about it. He's not in his office later when I work, so there is enough time to debate this until I meet him in the afternoon.

Also, I've bought a new dress. It's not like the others I took from home, this one is much more revealing. Mom would hate it, so I know it's great. Rhys will love it.

July 13th

I couldn't even say hello before he asked me if I had nightmares again? Is it that obvious??

But, okay, but that's not what I'm going to write about today. Something happened. Something GREAT!!! Rhys and I had sex last night. For the first time. And the second. And the third. Okay, a lot of times and it was amazing. It was the best sex I ever had. Not that I'm surprised but also I'm a little surprised because I didn't expect that. It was like something you'd read in Nesta's smutty books. I can't stop thinking about it. About Rhys and the last night and well, that's bad because we will have a barbecue tonight with the whole family (Nesta, Elain, Mor, Cassian, Azriel, Rhys's mother and sister, Rhys and me) and apparently you can read all my emotions on my face. Fuck, I have to work on that. I will! I'll try while getting ready. I'm still at Rhys's place but he already had a dress ready for me so I won't have to stress about that. (not in a controlling way like, his mother made that dress. She's a seamstress and I feel really honored to wear her dress but nobody would blink an eye either if I would turn up in pajamas)

I feel like I'm walking on clouds! It's surreal. If someone told my 16 year old self that I am where I am now she would laugh. She wouldn't believe it at all. I barely can.

December 15th

A decision was made!

I'm quitting my job at Rhys's lounge and going to art school. I started painting again around august and I just can't stop. There is so much that I have to tell, to get out. Rhys and I spent a whole night talking about the future weeks ago and the decision was a hard one to make but I made it. I'm going to art school. I'm living my dream, the thing I've worked towards my whole life until we had to leave my hometown. It's happening and I made the decision all alone. Without Rhys (although I've talked his ear off about the pros and cons), without Nesta or Elain, without my therapist. It was my decision! Isn't this exciting? I'm standing on my own two feet again. Baby steps evolved into quite big steps. I can't say how light I feel these days. I can paint it but words can't even begin to describe my feelings. I still have rough patches, especially now that it nears one year since my abduction but I'll get through this. I'm not alone. I'm not there anymore, I am safe now. And I am going to art school! Oh my god!

No words left, just happy.

January 1st

If you like a thing you should put a ring on it!

Okay, well, that's not the exact lyrics. I had to modify it a tiny little bit to fit my situation. Our situation. Rhys and my situation. Well, happy new year! I'm engaged! We are engaged! There will be a wedding. Between me and Rhys. Rhys and I. Engaged. Soon to be married. I'd say I believe I'm dreaming but I am not, I am looking at the ring as we speak. It's a family heirloom, Rhys told me. It's been through generations. The ring is also SO beautiful. It's a sapphire and in is etched with a six pointed star. The band of the ring is twisted of silver and gold. Never in my life have I seen something that beautiful. Sometimes, when the light falls in it in the right way, it looks like there is a star inside the stone.

Which actually brings me to the proposal. It wasn't something big, it was just me and Rhys and we went stargazing. I tried to find a constellation he had pointed at and when I turned around he was on his knee (his bad one, I basically had to pull him up), asking me to become his wife. Of course I cried. Nothing could beat this proposal.

It's Rhys and me. For the rest of our lives.

I'm thanking the stars everyday

Feysand Taglist:

@captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship @starfall-spirit @rhysiedarling @corcracrow @sydney-fae25 @tothestarsandwhateverend @aayo-whatt @dreamlandreader

[caffeineyum]

Bad Dream

The night was deep and quiet on Reach, except for the not-so-stealthy shuffling of pajama-clad feet outside John and Linda's quarters. The soft whoosh of the sliding door was almost drowned out by the hum of the base's sleep-mode operations.

John, whose usual sharp awareness was dulled by the first decent sleep he'd had in weeks, cracked open an eye. The dim blue light from the clock cast ghostly shadows across the room, making the trio at the door look like specters from some kid’s ghost story.

"Hey," John mumbled, his voice gravelly with sleep, "What's up, team?"Kat stood there, awkward in a way that only a teenager trying to appear unbothered can manage, her prosthetic arm catching the light as she crossed her arms defensively. Beside her, Rosenda clutched a raggedy tiger plushie like a lifeline, while Emile—his expression more sulky than scary in his skull-print pajama bottoms—seemed to be wrestling with the indignity of being seen in such a state.

"Um, sir... ma'am..." Kat's usually crisp officer cadence was replaced by the hesitant tones of a kid caught sneaking cookies. "We had nightmares. All of us. Kinda didn't want to be alone."

Linda, ever the mom of the group even when half asleep, patted the bed beside her. "C’mon then. There’s room for everyone."

Rosenda needed no second invitation, scampering over with her plushie in tow and hopping onto the bed with all the grace of a happy puppy. Emile followed at a more dignified pace, though the quickness of his movements betrayed his eagerness. Kat lingered by the door just a moment longer before giving in and joining, though she chose the foot of the bed like a wary cat deciding this lap might be acceptable.

John shuffled over to make room, the bed now a mosaic of Spartans and one brave stuffed tiger. "So, what were these nightmares about? Covenant back for a rematch in your dreams?"

"It's always Reach falling," Kat muttered, picking at a loose thread on her pajama sleeve. "Like a broken record. Can't turn it off."

Rosenda nodded vigorously, her words tumbling out in a sleepy slur. "And the monsters are so big, like, bigger than big. And so many teeth!"

Emile, ever the tough guy, added with a scowl, "They just keep coming. Waves and waves. And I shoot, but my gun's shooting marshmallows or something stupid like that."

Linda reached out to tuck a stray lock of hair behind Rosenda's ear, her voice soothing. "Dreams can do that, make you feel helpless. But it’s just your brain being a drama queen. It’s all quiet on the real front."

"Yeah, and hey, look at it this way," John chimed in, adopting a mock-serious tone, "if your gun ever really shoots marshmallows, I'll make sure you get a refillable chocolate syrup scope to go with it. Turn it into a snack attack."

That got a giggle out of Rosenda and even a reluctant smirk from Emile. Kat rolled her eyes but the corners of her mouth twitched upwards.

The room settled into a comfortable quiet, filled with the soft, steady breathing of family—not bound by blood but by battles, shared dreams, and now shared nightmares. Outside, the stars were still, untroubled by the small dramas below, yet somehow serving as a silent reassurance that some things remained steadfast and true.

Awwww! This wonderful! Thank you for sharing with me!

[kvhasproblems]

Boy Next Door - Part 3

Main Masterlist, Series Masterlist

Part 2 - Part 4

Van x Reader

Summery: My whole life seemed to be perfectly planned out for me, the perfect family, the perfect house with a white picket fence, the perfect boy next door… the only problem is I can’t seem to take my mind off my best friend…

Warnings: major homphobia, slurs, subtle racism, horrible parents, discussions of an attempted forced kiss

A/n: ok i meant to post this a long time ago but then my life lowkey fell apart, why is the curse of being a fanfic writer real lmao

Word Count: 2,869 (lol)

very subtle background lottie/nat and jackie/shauna

I got home just before my curfew was up with a sigh of relief.

"What kept you so late?" My mother calls from the kitchen as I'm passing.

"Jackie kept interrupting our studying with her boy problems, so it took us longer than we thought to read the chapters." I lied through my teeth, hoping the on-the-spot excuse was convincing enough.

"Oh, that girl and her doe eyes are bound to have boys falling for her, that's for sure." My mother laughed to herself before going back to wiping the counter. "You get up to bed now; you have school tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Mom. I love you!" I call as I walk up the stairs.

I don't miss how she doesn't say it back.

"At 6? Ok. I'll see you then! Bye!" I hung up the phone after untwisting the cord that I wrapped around my finger.

"Who was that?" My mother's voice cut through my happy daze. She stood in my doorway, her spying disguised as curiosity.

"OH! Hi mom. It was… just Lottie. She asked if I could come to the movies with her and Tai." My mother's nose wrinkled at the sound of Tai's name. I keep a neutral face despite the way her reaction makes my stomach twist.

"Hmmm, alright, well, don't be too late; we have brunch next door tomorrow morning at 10!"

"I won't be out past curfew!" I call, already getting up and running to my drawers to find an outfit to wear.

It had taken a while to convince my mother not to drive me. As I rolled up to the theatre, my eyes found her immediately. She stands along the postered display wall, rocking back and forth on her heels, looking around occasionally, waiting for me. At her next check, she spots and waves to me before making her way over to the bike rack where I was chaining up my bike.

We stood in line at the snack corner. Tonight was surprisingly busy, and the line was annoying long.

"I can't believe you haven't seen Jurassic Park yet!" Van talked excitedly, filling the wait time with fun facts about the movie she'd read about in a magazine. "I mean, the movie came out months ago; you're lucky they are still showing it."

"I was supposed to go with Jackie, Shauna and them, but once we got here, they dragged me to The Firm."

"Why did they wanna see The Firm?" Van scrunched her nose, wondering more out loud than she meant to.

"Something about impressing boys by watching R-rated movies."

She rolled her eyes dramatically. "Sounds like them."

"I thought their whole reasoning was dumb; it wasn't a bad movie though." I countered while shoving her lightly with my shoulder, smiles across both our faces.

"It's definitely not as good as Jurassic Park." She bumped me back.

"I don't know Jackie screaming the whole time made for a pretty good movie." I went to bump into her again, but she dodged me at the last second, sending me stumbling for a brief moment before her warm hands grabbed my shoulders, helping me steady myself, all while we laughed up a storm. My giggles almost get caught in my throat as I look up and realize how close our faces are. Close enough, I can feel the tickle of her warm breath against my face.

"NEXT!" The grouchy teen working the canteen shouted, fed up with trying to get our attention politely. Van quickly stumbled to the side, motioning to me to go first. My cheeks were still pink as I walked up to the counter.

"Two tickets to Jurassic Park, please!"

"Hey, wait! I can buy my own ticket!"

"Van, you're my best friend, and I just got my allowance for the month." I ignore the rest of her grumbling protests and turn back to the canteen. "One regular popcorn and a coke, please."

I move to the side so Van can order, but she just comes to stand by me.

"You not getting anything?"

"Nah... I don't even like popcorn that much anyway."

I just nod, but I don't miss the way her eyes track my popcorn as the worker hands it to me. It's also hard to believe her as her hand keeps bumping into mine as she steels from my bag throughout the movie. I couldn't even be annoyed if I wanted to. Her laughs and reactions to the film make me way happier than any popcorn does. I try to focus on the movie, but I keep thinking about how blue her eyes look when my face is way too close to hers.

The memory continued to dance around the forefront of my mind, her hands on my shoulders keeping me upright, close, the way her eyes seemed endless, the slight warmth on my face from her breath-

Steven's hand grabs my arm, shocking me back into the moment. I look around the table, everyone with expectant glances.

"You were asked to pass the syrup to Mrs. Fraser." my mother practically glares at me. I internally cringe.

"Oh, sorry.. here you go." I shook Steven's hand from my arm while passing Mrs. Fraser the syrup bottle. I tried to ignore the way my skin crawled at his touch. I haven't talked to him since he tried to kiss me at that party. Steven's father breaks the silence.

"So, y/n, when's soccer tryouts this year? You gunning for Varsity?" He asked before shoving some French toast in his mouth. Steven coughed and quickly reached for his orange juice as I cringed beside him. Of course, he had to bring up Varsity… stupid rumour. Stupid girls.

"Tryouts are 2 weeks on Monday, and yeah… being on varsity in freshman year would be great." I don't elaborate more than that much to Mr. Fraser's disappointment. He always asks for updates on how soccer's going; I'm not sure if he's trying to make Steven feel guilty for quitting or to live through me instead of his own son.

"Well, you gotta tell me if you think you have any real competition at tryouts, if they can keep up with you, I say you got a real shot at states this year. You know, back in my day, my team almost won States." He continued to ramble about his glory soccer days despite the fact that I've heard this story a thousand times.

As we finish the brunch, I help by picking up plates and dishes to bring to the kitchen.

"Y/n, wash the dishes for Mrs. Fraser, please." My mother called from the dining hall.

"Of course!" I put on my cheeriest voice. I hate washing dishes, but at least I can avoid any more awkward conversations. I start to run the water as I get the drying rack set up.

"Here, let me help." Steven brushed past my side to grab a drying rag. My heart sank in my chest, god I don't want to have any awkward conversations about what happened. I began washing to give my hands something to do, praying Steven will just stay quiet the whole time.

"Look, about what happ-"I cut him off quickly.

"We don't have to talk about it."

"I wanted to apologize. I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry."

"It's o-" I stop before I can brush off his apology, sighing I start again. "It's just that you've been my friend for as long as I can remember; I just was confused, I guess."

"Oh, yeah… I just needed to apologize; I didn't want things to be awkward; like you said, you've been my… friend as long as I can remember." He refused to actually look at me as he grabbed the dish from my hand. Just before an awkward silence could creep in, Steven turned to me.

"Oh, you got something on your face there." He pointed towards my cheek.

"Where?" I tried to reach for the cloth so I could dry my hands, but Steven held it away from me.

"Here, let me get it."

"Ok, than-"

Steven quickly scooped soap bubbles from the top of the water before smearing them across my face. I jumped back, letting out a yelp of surprise.

"Oh, it's so on now!" I challenged scooping up bubbles to throw at him.

We ended up with a larger mess to clean than we started with, but I'm glad it made things feel normal again. Steven being Steven, my friend who throws soap at me, not some boy who tries to kiss me at a party.

At 15 I found myself lying to my mother the most I ever have as I had hung out with Van 3 more times since we saw Jurassic Park. My current up-and-running lie was Shauna's study group, which "most definitely" exists. I was meeting Nat and Van at the fields at the school. With tryouts coming up in 2 days, we thought it would be good if we got some extra practice in. We were doing a late-night practice because Van had a shift at the bowling alley till 8. It takes me about 20 minutes to bike to school, meaning that I only really have about an hour to practice to make sure I get home before my 10 o'clock curfew.

When I got there, Nat was already there dribbling and juggling the ball.

"Hey, Nat." I threw my bags down by the goalpost before jogging up to her. We lightly pass the ball back and forth and chat while we wait for Van.

The sound of faraway grumbles and shouts drew my attention away from our mini scrimmage, which was basically just play fighting at that point. Nat took the opportunity to bodycheck me and run away with the ball.

"HA! Got yo-" she paused as she heard it too. "Van!?" She called out as Van rounded the corner, practically carrying her bike.

I abandon Nat and run to help Van with her bike. The stupid thing was too big and too old, a hand me down from an older neighbour whose son grew out of it.

"What happened this time?" I say with a small smile while grabbing the front of the bike to make carrying it easier.

"God, you wouldn't believe it. first, the fucking chain popped off, and I had already got off work late, so I threw it back on as fast as I could, and then I rushed to get here, and I must have run over something because my front tire is now completely flat." She threw her arms around while telling the story once we set the bike down with our bags. "I just gave up riding, and I thought carrying it would be easier, but I forgot this thing weighs a million pounds." She rolled her eyes while pulling her cleats and gloves out of her bag.

Nat, who had been trying to muffle her laughter, finally bursts as Van kicks the bike once more before sitting down to put on her shoes.

"OH shut up!" Van chucked a shoe at Nat, who then picked it up and ran away. "OH, YOU-"Despite only having one regular shoe and an undone cleat, Van sprinted after Nat, who was much slower than normal due to her laughter. Just as Van was closing in on the shoe, I ran towards them.

"NAT! OVER HERE!" I waved my arms, signalling to her as she tossed the shoe to me. Van's grumbles were impossible to take seriously, with the biggest grin on her face as we played this sort of monkey-in-the-middle tag. It was probably another 30 minutes before we even got to any sort of real practice.

"Fuck! I totally thought I had that one. I swear you teleport around that goal." I grumbled light-heartedly as Van saved another one of my attempts to score.

"I'm just too good." Van rolled her shoulders and faked a yawn.

"I, for one, would be able to aim better if I could actually see the goalposts." Nat

"Shit yeah, it's getting pretty late," Van commented, looking around at just how dark it's gotten in the past 90 minutes ish of playing.

Dark. HOLY FUCK, ITS DARK DARK OUT!!

It hit me like a ton of bricks. I scrambled to my bag, throwing off my cleats to change my shoes.

"I gotta go like now! I'm so late!" I shoved my shoes into my bag. "God, I'm gonna be so dead when I get home."

Van and Nat gave me a sympathetic glance before bidding their goodbyes as I sped off.

I tore around the corner onto my street, peddling as fast as I could. I was so totally screwed. My mom is most definitely freaking out right now. I tried to come up with a reason for why I'd be home so late.

Jackie was having boy trouble and wanted to get ice cream?

Shauna realized she forgot a bio test and needed extra help studying?

My head was spinning. None of those were good enough.

I couldn't even remember what my original lie was.

I pulled into my driveway, and that's when I saw her. Standing on the front steps with my father and Steven of all people.

"Fuck…" I mumbled under my breath.

My mother, who was pacing, stopped dead in her tracks, glaring at me with harsh, angry eyes. My father came down from the porch and took my bike from me as I stepped off it.

"I-"

"Just get inside."

I didn't bother with a verbal response, instead fleeing to the stairs to be met by my mom, giving Steven a quick hug.

"Thank you so much for your help." She told him. He nodded before turning to me. He didn't say anything; he just mouthed sorry and put his hand on my shoulder quickly before heading down the stairs. I watched him walk away. I don't know what he's sorry for, I got myself into this mess.

I was pulled from my thoughts as her hand grips my bicep. Her touch burns as if a hot poker is being pressed into my skin, and I'm sure I will have a bruise once she removes her hand. I try to pull my arm away as she drags me into the house, her face as red as my skin feels.

"Mom! Mom, please stop; you're hurting me!" At that, she shoves me forward before slamming the door.

There was a silence. A stare down of sorts, and when she first speaks, it's so quiet.

"I've let you get away with so much. I thought that if I gave you time… if I let you work this out of your system that, you'd be fine. But I was wrong. I knew I should have trusted my gut. I let you leave this house. THIS HOUSE THAT I AND YOUR FATHER HAVE WORKED SO HARD FOR. I GAVE YOU MY TRUST AND YOU," She gasps, taking in air, "AND YOU THROW IT IN MY FACE. RUNNING AROUND WITH THAT TRAILER TRASH BEHIND MY BACK!! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU LIED TO ME!"

My blood felt like ice in my veins as I found it hard to take in a breath. Tears sprang to my eyes at her yells. I couldn't bring myself to answer her. My voice frozen in my chest; I'm sure I stood there gaping. My mouth opening and closing like a fish hung cruelly out of water.

"How many times have you lied to me." Gone was her manic yelling; this was much scarier, her eyes dark face set. "Don't make me repeat myself again."

I stumbled for an answer, and her growing impatience had me losing my train of thought.

"I- I don't know for sure.. not that much, I swear." She started to advance on me. I stumbled for a way to give her what she wanted. "Once this summer to go to a party." I was talking fast, my voice raising in pitch. "Tonight! Two times last week! Once the week before! Last May, after we lost that big game! AND END OF YEAR PARTY! MY SCIENCE GRADE BEFORE EXTRA CRED-" My rambling was halted, words slapped from my mouth. She looked slightly shocked as she looked at her hand. Part of me wondered if it stung as much as my face. Another part of me hoped it did.

"Here's what's going to happen. You are going to stop hanging out with that dyke on your soccer team. I didn't raise you to be a fucking faggot!" She spits her words so violently, and the same burning rage I felt in the cafeteria bubbled up to the surface. "and speaking of soccer, you're done!"

"WHAT!" Any rage I had quickly boiled to fear.

"DONE! IF I SO MUCH AS CATCH YOU RUNNING, YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED OUT OF THIS HOUSE AGAIN!"

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS! PLEASE! IT'S ALL I HAVE!"

"DON'T YOU RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME!"

It was eerily silent for a moment. As I stared back at her.

"Please…" I tried to keep my voice even and steady, but it came out as more of a whimper.

[ruthlesslistener]

Hello! I'm not sure what proper etiquette is here so I hope I'm not overstepping, pls feel free to ignore if I am. You mentioned in a tag and/or post about having estrogen allergy? My wife is dealing with that, and it's... so difficult, most doctors don't know what it is and we thought we had a short term solution so she could finally get some sleep (she hardly sleeps at all anymore because of nightly itching). It's so hard to find ANY information on it and we're not sure how to proceed anymore. Just...wondering if you have any information at all? I'm sorry if this sounds desperate, it's because...it is lol.

Thanks kindly, from, your friendly neighborhood very worried lesbian wife.

Dw anon, you're not overstepping!! I've been in hormone hell since I was 13 so I know how much of a relief it is to find someone who understands for once. I don't believe that me or my mom (who's also affected) have the same allergic reactions that your wife is experiencing, but I'm hoping that I can help anyways.

Okay so first off, the doctors not knowing about estrogen allergies is bullshit. They may not be super common, but they've also been documented since at LEAST 1921. Just a cursory google search has yielded two scientific articles about it (that looked legit when I scanned through them before going to lecture, where I'm typing this rn), which I'll put right here:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5745953/

https://waojournal.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s40413-017-0176-x

I'd suggest trying to read through medical journal articles on it because despite the density of the information and the difficulty of the language, medical articles tend to be more comprehensive about the symptoms and causes than ones written for the general public. They also mean that you have the language to confront doctors about it if you wish- which you'll have to do, because if she's experiencing an allergic reaction like itchieness, then I'd also be concerned about potential anaphalaxis if her reactions get more severe. The intolerance that me and my mother had manifested in different ways (migraines, muscle weakness, disorintation, being hypersensitive to food/unable to keep food down, extreme drowsieness leading to being bed-bound), but those weren't quite on the level of being so itchy that you can't sleep. A more typical allergic reaction is something to be concerned about and I highly suggest not only stressing this to your doctor, but also getting confrontational about it and meeting multiple different doctors if needed before you get care. Force them to run tests, force them to listen to you. That's my biggest regret when it comes to my hormone issues, because they just got progressively worse and worse until I had to go to the ER for it. Turns out that I was not only estrogen intolerant, I also had hypothyroidism! And nobody in 10 years of appointments thought to check for that!!

As for what helps me and my mom, I found that progesterone hormone treatment was effective for us both (until it stopped working for me, but I still don't know why that is. It works for my mother). You might want to be cautious about trying this because in the articles I read, some people were just as sensitive to progesterone, but it's worth a shot. I used to get the DEPO-provera (or however its spelled) shot to offset the issues caused by estrogen, which is an injection once every few months. I also found that once I went on testosterone that a good chunk of my hormonal health issues straight-up vanished, but obviously that's not exactly the best option for everyone. I'm on a masculinizing dose so maybe you can do a really super low-grade dose, but I'm telling you about it mostly just to get the point across that HRT works. It's not just for trans people- cis people get hormone fuckery and need hormone therapy as well.

But there's also proposed solutions in the articles I linked, so I hope those are helpful or give you an idea of treatment options. Best of luck!

[starlahuskyz]

Chances - Chapter 14

Summary: Jordan and Marko clean up the mess in her home and talk about themselves. Then they head to the boardwalk and Jordan has a strange experience she can't understand

I'm so sorry for taking a long hiatus from continuing this fic, I swear I'll try to be more consistent from now on.

Chapter 13 <<< >>> Chapter 15

TW// Minor blood and corpses, Stalking ment.

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The whole table watched silently as Jordan and Marko got all lovey with each other, then they heard an audible sniffle coming from Paul who was tearing up at the sight of his best friend finally roping in Jordan. Jane notices and asks “Is everything alright dear?” Paul stood up

“I’ve never felt better! My brother has finally found love! I’m so proud of you!” He bounds over to Marko’s side and snags him away from Jordan just to give a big hug and noogies on his head much to his dismay. While Marko struggles to get away from Paul’s grasp, Harold speaks.

“Well ain’t that sweet, I’m glad you’re happy Jordan…but don’t think that I completely trust him or his posse.” The boys all perk up at his statement and Marko speaks “Oh okay so fuck the fact I saved your daughter’s life, I’m still a bad guy apparently.” He gets defensive and Harold retorts.

“You saved my daughter once and think you are entitled to have her? That ain’t happening sport, not while I’m here to say so. I don’t need another problem boy coming in, if I recall he was a lot like you! A little less blunt however…” 

Marko was offended until David got curious. “There seems to be an ex in this picture, did he look like Marko or something?” He looked to Jordan for answers but her mother intervened. 

“No, he looked like…um…if you two had a child.” Jane pointed at Dwayne and Paul and they both looked at each other. “Dwayne, how many kids do you have that you never told me about? We’re supposed to be raising Laddie together yet here you are making more babies?” He feigns a look of hurt on his face while Dwayne rolls his eyes. “You’re an idiot.” 

“Guys please, can we not talk about this right now. Mom, Dad, I’ll tell them eventually. Just not right now.” Jordan places her hands on the table firmly and he drops the subject.

“If you insist…” Jane drops it. The whole table goes silent for a few awkward moments before David gets up from his chair.

“Well I think we’ve discussed enough for tonight, the night is young and we need to spread our wings and go.” He smiles at Jordan’s parents before making his way towards the door.

Paul then gets up and stretches his arms out groaning obnoxiously. “Yeah, I’m ready to go have some fun.” He follows in David’s direction, then Dwayne gets up and approaches Jordan.

“Could you remove these bandages off of me, my arm is fine now.” He gestures to his bandaged up arm and Jordan gets up heading for her room.

“Of course, the first aid kit should have scissors for cutting the…” She reaches the bottom of the stairs leading into her room and remembers the mess the boys and her had left. Blood was on the floor and on her stuff, not to mention the corpses sitting in the middle of the room. “I thought you guys removed the bodies after I finished?”

“Nope. I’m sure Marko will be glad to help you though.” Dwayne pats her shoulder while he fetches the scissors, leaving her standing like an idiot not knowing what to do next. Marko comes down and sees her eyeing the mess they left and he walks up to her side.

“So…where do we start?” He bites his thumb and Jordan gives him a look.

“Get rid of those guys and I’ll start cleaning.”

-----------------

After an hour or so they finish with cleaning the best they can. While they are alone, Marko watches from her bed as she scrubs at the carpet trying to clean up the blood to the best of her ability. Bixby jumps onto the bed and sits beside him. Marko tries petting him but Bixby just growls at him, in turn Marko growls back at him.

“You boys need to get along if you want this to work.” Jordan calls from the floor.

“Then tell him that he needs to piss off and that I ain’t scared of him.” Marko retorts as Bixby makes himself comfortable on the bed. “Is he a hellcat or something?” 

“I don’t know, maybe. Are hellcats even a thing?” She sits up from her spot getting invested in the convo.

“Why wouldn’t they be? How did you even find him?” He looked at her questionably.

Jordan stood up and explained “Well when we moved here, he just sorta showed up. I think my grandparents may have been feeding him, at first he hated me. My parents told me not to bring him in or get too attached but, what do they know?” She walked over to the bed and kneeled down to pet Bixby while he purred happily.

“I see. This was your grandparents' house?” He looked around the basement while he asked.

“Yeah, they both died and they said not to sell it. So we sold our own place and moved here, it’s a nice place honestly.” She sat on the bed next to Marko.

“What did you think of Santa Carla when you first got here?” Jordan thought for a minute, and Marko thought he wouldn’t get an answer. But he did.

“It was…awesome. I mean back where I’m from, I was bullied a lot for being different and so I was a loner. But here, no one judges you. I met people who were a lot like me and liked me for who I was. I’d say there’s nothing better than that. I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone who dresses the way you do anywhere outside of Santa Carla.” She looked at his outfit and traced her hand over his sleeve to make her point.

Marko chuckled a bit. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Would you say I’m your type?” He leaned into her, smirking at her.

“Well, I never imagined myself dating a greasy haired guy wearing leather chaps. What’s with the chaps anyways? Were you a cowboy or something?” She pulled at his chaps and he went quiet trying to remember his past life. “Wait, how old are you?”

“Well uh…let’s just say I became a vamp in 1906.” She looked at him flabbergasted.

“Shut Up. No way.” 

“Yes way. Me and my brothers were in San Francisco before we came here. Although I ran away from my home in New York.” 

“Wow…I gotta say you might’ve been a vampire for almost a century now but you don’t look a day over twenty.”

“You’re technically right cuz I was nineteen when I turned. Speaking of age…how old are you?”

“I was 20 when I turned…I technically should be turning 21 this year in October.” She looked forlornly at the ground thinking about her stolen humanity.

“So you’ll be of legal drinking age soon huh?” Marko attempted to throw in some humor with the question.

“Bold of you to assume I’d wanna drink, the thought alone makes me wanna vomit.” Jordan keeps her gaze at the floor but speaks with a hint of venom in her voice. Marko raises an eyebrow, he’s piecing things together.

“Say, does that bottle Paul brought out have anything to do with your past?” He leans towards her, propping his elbows onto his knee trying to look at her face to face.

“We should go with your brothers now, I’m not talking about this tonight.” Jordan stands up and walks upstairs leaving Marko alone. Marko exhales through his nose and thinks “She can’t hide this forever…”. He hears a growl from beside him and sees Bixby giving him a look of anger. “Piss off…whether you like it or not, we are sharing her.” He gets up and goes upstairs with a huff.

---------------------

Marko and Jordan head to the boardwalk to catch up with the boys and find them watching a concert on the beach. They both pull up on their own bikes, and upon getting off the bike, Marko goes over to David to talk to him while Jordan moves over to where Paul was standing. Of course, he strikes up a conversation.

“Sup Jordan, so how’d things go with Marko in the bedroom? Did he satisfy you?” He wiggles his eyebrows and in return he’s flicked on the nose.

“If you meant how well he cleaned up after your mess then I’d say he did a pretty good job.” Jordan leaned on the railing and Paul lit a cigarette. He held the box in her direction, in which she took one.

“So, did anything else happen?” Paul asked. Jordan shook her head, and Paul dropped it opting to watch the performance in front of them. Paul had a sneaking suspicion that Marko might’ve pressed a button or two so he opened up the pack bond to ask. “Marko, what’s up with Jordan?”

“She’s not one for sharing details on her past, that’s all.”

“Then we should take her mind off of it, she’s kinda killing the mood.” 

“Okay then, what do we do?” Marko looks over at Paul and they both seemingly get the same idea. Paul slips an arm around Jordan and guides her to Marko.

“Jordan, I think it’s about time you come see where we live, and since we made a mess at your place you have my permission to take one thing you like and keep it.” He stomps out his cigarette and leaves her with Marko. 

“I’m assuming that you guys must have some cool stuff if you’re offering for me to take something I like.” Marko just shrugs before David intervenes.

“Well, let’s go eat before we do any of that. I think I spotted someone of interest. Can one of you go find Dwayne and let him know we’re leaving?” He points at Jordan and nods in a certain direction.

Assuming he wanted her to go look, she left. She walked through the boardwalk scanning through the crowds looking for the two, while she walked she felt a tap on her shoulder. “Sam?” Jordan looked at him surprised to see him trying to talk to her considering what happened.

“Look, Jordan I wanted to just say that I’m sorry about what happened. I really don’t wanna start anything.” While Jordan didn’t want to believe him, there was something about his demeanor that made her feel bad for him. So she turned to give him her full attention. “I was just scared of the fact that you were a vampire this whole time, but I don’t want to hurt you. Considering you’ve apparently been a vamp this whole time, you could’ve hurt me. But you didn’t, so I’m not gonna hurt ya.” He put his hands up as a sign of a truce.

Jordan thought for a minute, before coming to a conclusion “You’re alright, Sam. I’ll be sure to let the boys know.” She turned and walked off leaving Sam in the crowd alone. She had to continue her search for Dwayne and Laddie, but they seemingly found her before she could as she felt a tiny weight attach itself onto Jordan’s leg.

“Hi, Jordan!” Laddie looks up at her with a happy smile.

“Hey bud, is Dwayne with you? We gotta get going now.” He pointed to the dark haired man approaching them.

“Hey, Jordan. Laddie, I told you not to run off without me.” He pried him off of Jordan’s leg and threw him over his shoulder making him squeal in surprise. “So I’m assuming David sent you?” Jordan nodded, leaving Dwayne to comply and make his way back while Laddie tried wiggling out of Dwayne's grasp to no avail. 

Before Jordan could make her way to follow, she felt a presence in the air that made her stop dead in her tracks. She wasn’t sure what it was, but the hair on the back of her neck stood up and she looked around only to see…nothing. Even though nothing was there, she kept looking at a particularly shady area where she could swear someone was there. Tuning all the other people and music out of her mind she started walking towards the area, looking for any shred of life potentially watching her. But before she could properly check, she was pulled from her trance by Marko. “You okay Jordan?” He looked at the area she was headed towards and saw nothing. Putting a protective arm around her, he started guiding her back while looking behind his shoulder every few seconds. “Hey, I asked if you were alright?” He once again asked.

“I’m fine, I just could’ve swore someone was watching me.” She tried taking her mind off of what happened, but she just kept wondering what would’ve happened if she hadn’t been stopped.

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