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#and my work superior acts like i chose this? like im calling in sick for funsies?
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im still dealing with the consequences of my accident - where i fell down five meters and was almost paralysed meaning i had to get emergency surgery on my spine but i also broke my foot which has enforced my already existing back and posture issues - leading to pain and sometimes debilitating pain. yet my doctor says there is no chance this is recognised as a disability which would mean i get special worker protection which i feel i need because im being guilt-tripped and not believed and probably soon to be fired at both my jobs because i have to call in sick every now and then due to sitting at a desk on the computer literally causing me pain. this is making me suicidal again, despite being on antidepressants. i already had health issues before the accident especially mental health so now im just super hopeless and anxious for the future
edit: i have a decent support net in my life and soon to start therapy so please dont worry about me, i just need to vent my frustration and feelings sometimes! i appreciate everyone reaching it out a lot though!
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motakimask · 6 years
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Stuff that happened at school 6
On monday, so... we are working on a tesis ans this guy from our team... man... I wanted to punch him... I was sick the day the teams were made so I just joined one and since they forgot the topic they chose (somehow) I suggested asperger´s syndrome (aspie here) we asked the teacher if it was ok and he said yes, turns out this guy keep refering to aspies as... “retarded”... and let me tell you, he can call us dumb and all but he, that poor thing doesn´t even have a brain (for some context, he acts like that typical loud and anoying jerk whit a low IQ and a hight ego) and man... worst part is that he can´t even pronounce ir right...
Tuesday comes and we have this project of basically making a game where the whole class had to participate, the team I was on decided to make a little hot potato game, you got the potato and we asked you something, then if your answer was right we gave you candy, nobody was motivated... Then I offer one dollar for whoever answered a ramdom cuestion that had nothing to do with the topic (the topic was spanish literature, I went for geography...) then everyone wanted to speak... and this really anoying girl (we are calling her Chucky...) she started to complain on how it wasn´t fair that she didn´t get the prince (money) she never answered so why would I gave her that, worst part is that she did the same for every team, demanded to get the prize even when she did nothing...
Fornite dance teacher did some funny stuff thought, he also made us play charades... this girl put a bottle on her crotch and pointed it towards this other girl... then everyone started screaming...
Our teacher made us do the the fitness gram pacer test... It was awfull... (This girl from group A passed out for about and hour)
Wednesday had some drama, I had this frienship/rivalry thing with this other girl (Im calling her K) we are both the smart ones on our class, but the difference is that Im the one who hates everyone and barely socialize and she´s the nice one who lets everyone copy her homework... she let both group A and group B do that... then the teacher finded out... I dont know how they are going to handle it thought... but Chucky knew, she started to say in front of all the class (K was there) how stupid she was and saying how everything was her fault, how she was incriminating the rest and how she was complitely inocent of copying her homework, she sounded so entitled while doing so, and yes, while it wasn´t a smart move from K to let everyone copy her homework, if someone talked to me like that in front of my freaking face, I would just stand up, punch her in the face and drag her trought the whole street, like serously the way she said everything just... Why hasn´t anyone tried...
Thursday! The stupid guy from monday keeps being stupid and we spend a good while trying to teach him how to pronounce asperger... on the other hand, Queen Barbie never comes thursdays but noe he did, now he give Superior Barbie the boss position on the team... We were working on some stuff ad our teacher wanted to see if anyone was missing... She asked about... “Team Barbie” (I cant get over how they named our team but I dont really mind that much) when she said that name both of them entered the classroom dancing an singning... I love working with those two...
Skiped friday again, last night I had a melt down (didn´t have one since december) I was really tired in the morning and I was unable to act like a semi functional human being so... I guess I´ll focus more on my mental health for once, I mean... I didn´t sleep because I was doing about ten pages of physics homework so it could be because of that but still, I just need a break... Writing this sort of helps so...
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lukeysgirl · 7 years
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The Note Tree ❋ L.H. Pt.10
Part T E N 
Summary: A cherry blossom tree, residing at the farthest part of the schools courtyard. Nobody dwelled there, and you didn’t care much for it. Until you kept hearing one song played over and over, with lyrics changed to touch at your curiosity. They knew you were listening, and one day you gave in and made your way to the pink tree. Waiting for you, a series of notes tied to a single strand of string.
Word Count: 5.5k+
AN: blAH here’s part 10 for you guys! im making this finally a bit more eventful as it was going slow. but here you guys go and i really hope you enjoy it very much! remember, 100 notes pls and thank you :) xx 
Parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty.
I M A G I N E 
Wednesday
“We are taking the seniors to a trip in the woods!” The principal announces into the black entity worth of a microphone. 
Everyone was told to file into the auditorium immediately when the doors were opens and the morning announcements echoed through the corridors. More specifically, the seniors were requested. So, you trotted into the large room with ease, your friends easily finding you in the crowd as you chose seats towards the very back, left corner of the theatre. 
It was an extraordinarily large theatre, might you admit. The cozy, cushion red chairs were ornate in rows of three, each horizontal row owning about 12 seats before going down to the next ones. Overhead was another floor of chairs, just for the sake of using more space and having a cooler, higher sight to see kids reenact the horrid tragedies of Shakespeare. Because, honestly, what other play writers do people actually know that deserve to be mainstream? 
“Y/N, are you okay?” Alexis hummed beside you, nudging your shoulder gently in pure concern. 
“Yeah, I’m alright,” you croaked, your elbow planted upon the arm rest as you leaned your cheek against your fist. You lied; you were actually sleep-deprived and starved. After the tutoring with Luke, you were too stuck in thought due to Luke’s damned words and shameless stripping as his way to learn. It bothered you so much so that you couldn’t capture one wink of sleep. You were up all night, wondering in the dark about this blonde, blue-eyed dolt. 
“You don’t look too well,” Des hummed, bringing her gentle hand to plant it upon your forehead. The coolness of her fingers sent goosebumps around your body, but you ignored it with ease. “Your forehead is a little warm…” 
“I doubt I have a fever, or any sort of sickness for that matter,” you said in a hush tone, your eyes focused on the principal, who (in your head) started to sound like a character from Charlie Brown. Des relieved her hand from your forehead, exchanging worried glances with Alexis as Des turned to pat Savannah to inform her. 
“A few of your professors are currently handing out permission slips, regardless to those who are already 18 or above,” Principal Michaels spoke, having you chuckle from the way he held the wooden podium. The pale-white, brown mustached, green-eyed authority stood at the podium all high and mighty like he was some sort of god. “I apologize for such short notice, but it’ll be for this coming Friday and we should come back by Sunday…” 
You sounded him out, unable to keep up with his annoying, raspy voice. With not even a hint of sleep, you couldn’t be asked with a monotonous lectured about a trip that only needed 2 basic sentences: “we’re going camping” and “here’s what you need by Friday.” You understood that nobody could religiously follow you in your energy conservation belief, but you knew as fact that your fellow classmates were bored out of their asses. 
“Nice sweater,” chimed a male, pretty familiar voice, behind you. The girls turned, with the Principals’s voice acting as background to find Nathan right behind you. Sweater? How uncultured. But nonetheless, you looked down at the new Linkin Park sweatshirt with ease and released a curt smile. 
“Thanks,” you spewed simply, slowly focusing yourself on getting a few minutes of sleep as your eyelids began to sink down. So sleepy… if only I could just doze off for a few minutes…
“Y/N.” Nathan’s voice spoke right into your ear, having you snap your neck away and open your eyelids. You divert your eyes over to your right shoulder, where Des sat and Nathan’s face appeared at your outer periphery. “Are you tired?” 
“Just a bit,” you spat simply. “But keep in mind it’s morning and I’m in school, forced to study and interact with the likings of you, Nathan.” 
“Yeesh, cold,” Nathan hummed in offense. You saw a bit of his fluffy chestnut hair bounce to the front of his forehead, having you smirk. You recalled how Luke said he had ‘stolen’ Ashton’s haircut, and he was very true on his similar it was. But then Nathan’s eyes met with yours and an influx of Luke’s ocean eyes came into your mind. “You must be real tired if you’re this crabby. Want a supplement?” 
As Nathan dug into his pocket in search of his offer, Des brought her hand up and slapped him on the back of his head. 
“Fuck, Odessa,” Nathan groaned, using his free hand to rub the future bruise. “The fuck was that for?” 
“If you drug Y/N, I’ll literally rip out your eyes with my nails,” Savannah hissed, flashing up her pastel nails with fake diamonds encrusted upon it in a rather adorable form. Des quickly grabbed the blonde girls wrists, muttering ‘down girl’ as though she were a dog. 
“Relax,” Nathan spoke quietly, throwing his hands up in defense. “I’d never drug sweet little Y/N here. Besides, I know she isn’t gonna take it anyways. I just decided to offer for the slight chance that she should.” 
Already annoyed, you pull on the hood of the sweatshirt over your head. You ensured every spec of hair left out was tucked it kindly before folding your arms over your chest. Alexis did you the favor of gently placing her hand on the side of your head and tugging you over to lean on her shoulder. You emit a yawn, feeling tears well up in your eye sockets as you studied the several shadows of heads in front of you, blocking the view of the Principal. 
Your mind suddenly began to wander over the whereabouts of Luke R. Hemmings. You hated yourself for a brief moment, but succumbed to the reality of things: Luke is now someone kinda important. You couldn’t really explain to anyone, moreover yourself, but Luke is so persistent that he’s managed to put himself in your small circle of people. Fuck me, you thought. This is so annoying. I never asked for this. 
“Now, for those who have attended this school since middle school know how this very trip works,” Principal Michaels hummed, having you roll your eyes as you forced yourself awake for his blabbering. It might be important. “But this year we have decided to… revamp a few traditional customs.” 
The camping trip, though annoying, was an infamous tradition in the school. It was a 3 day trip to hell in which you ‘become one with the woods’ and ‘get closer together with your fellow campers.’ But basically it was a trip full of boring activities that included getting splinters when climbing trees, doing a safer version of sky lining, and getting wet in some lake. There are groups of 4 with teachers as the leaders and each team tries to rack up enough points in order to get some ‘cool prize.’ 
Your guess was an sharpened pencil that said ‘College Bound!’ or some corny shit like that. 
“This should be shit,” you muttered under your breath, feeling Alexis snort from your response. 
“A few e-mails showed up in my inbox with a more fun suggestion for the trip,” Principal Michaels hummed excitedly, reminding yourself of an old grandma content to receive several rolls of yarn. “So we’ve decided to allow students to be the camp leaders instead of our staff.” 
Several quiet chatters and murmurs ensued as you allowed your eyes to droop shut. 
“Maybe I can be a leader,” Nathan hummed, leaning once again on your chair as you felt his eyes on yours. “Would you like to be on my team, Y/N?” 
“I’d rather choke on acorns,” you replied bluntly, your eyes still shut while nuzzling nicely onto Alexis’ shoulder. Des snorted, having Savannah, reach over to rub your shoulder in praise. 
“You never fail to break my heart, Y/N,” Nathan coos, having you snort quietly as you resumed paying attention to what the superior had to say. 
“Unfortunately for those who wanted to be leaders,” Principal Michaels says with little to no sympathy. “The leaders have already been chosen.” 
Annoyed banter ensues as several students begin to chant their ‘boos’ and idiotic complains. Nathan shouted ‘that’s not fair!’ right behind you, having you hiss at him for producing such ear cancer from his mouth. You sat up, relieving Alexis’ shoulder as you decided to see the leaders step up and pretend like they’re the shit. But your eyes widened in great surprise to see the 4 alphas of your class to walk across the large stage before everyone. 
Front and guiding the other 3 was Luke Hemmings, which honestly didn’t surprise you all that much. Luke was always off doing something to get the attention, even if he wasn’t trying. But there he stood, as lanky and covered in black as usual. His curly hair was even more messy than before, seeing it more damp that it should be. Probably didn’t bother trying to dry it and add the disgusting chemicals the businesses call ‘hair care products.’ 
Oh, and following them was the deliciously tan Maori boy Calum, the pale party-monster Michael, and the sweet, and only mature one of the quad, Ashton. 
And, of courses, while the other male seniors groaned in annoyance, the rest of the girls broke their voices in cheers. The most you heard was the chanting of Luke, obviously the favorite for being the lead dog and audacious man who was anything but tame. You heard girls squeal, ‘I hope I’m in Luke’s team!’ and other very explicit terms you wanted to ignore. Your eyes scanned the area to see the red-headed, blue-eyed monster stand excitedly, waving desperately to get Luke’s attention. 
But even Nadia couldn’t capture the attention of the pair of ocean orbs. He looked around, his rouge lips stretched to form a lovely smile as he looked around the auditorium. You watched as he slowly made his way to your row, having you being to sling down to avoid contact. But the blonde asshole was too quick and spotted you, his pearly whites coincidentally shining as he shot you a wink. You huffed, rolling your eyes as you saw a student dash from his seat in the front row to go to the stage. He offered his hand up for a slap, in which Luke stretched his arms in pleasant surprise before bending down to slap his hand. You looked away, closing your eyes in hopes to fall into some sort of deep, 10-minute nap. 
“Simmer down, all of you!” Principal Michaels scolded, forcing your eyelids up to see his old, wrinkly hands wave the flood of students down. They’re already riled up, you thought. How the fuck are you gonna explain this? “They suggested the idea– it was only fair for them to be the leaders of the camping trip!” 
“Do they even know how to be leaders?” A boy hollered towards the middle-center of the bottom influx of students. Several of his mates agreed, having them stomp their feet on the floor in protest. Waste of energy, you thought. 
“God, look how good Calum looks,” Des swooned, having you chuckle as she waved her hand to produce air for the crook of her neck. You had to admit: Calum was looking pretty good. Super loose tank top, skinny jeans hugging his thick thighs nicely, tan hands ornate with small, but evident tattoos. Calum was just eye-candy to all. 
“Okay, but look at Michael– he changed his hair color!” Savannah squealed, bringing her petite hands up to cup her mouth. You emit a small burp, indicating that you required food and immediately. Your eyes divert to the forest green-eyed boy, seeing as his hair was no longer a fiery red. It was a blonde– maybe not as natural and strong like Luke’s, but a blonde with brown wisps coming from the roots at his scalp. It also seemed much longer than before, though you couldn’t make that assumption as you barely looked at the light-skinned boy. 
“Not gonna lose your ovaries about Ashton?” You hummed over to Alexis, who was gnawing on her bottom lip kindly. 
“I don’t need to highlight how amazing he looks,” Alexis muttered simply, her eyes stuck on the brown-haired man who smiled widely at everyone. “That’s a given.” 
“Point taken,” you said with a quiet giggle. Principal Michaels continued to emit details over the trip, in which you deemed mutable. Then, the student in front of you turned around and eyed you, having you furrow your eyebrows curiously. He dragged his upper arm over the back of his seat, with his forearm bent up. 
“Are you Y/N Y/L/N?” The boy hummed, his voice rather high and evidently suffering slow puberty. You blinked a few times before nodding skeptically, having the boy reach over to offer you a small, folded note between his index and middle fingers. 
“Uh, thanks,” you emit quietly, taking the note from the boy as he turned around and became just another figure again. You sit up more properly, allowing the hood on your head to droop off as you felt the paper substance in your fingers. You saw the infamous ‘-H’ on the very top before opening it. 
“Secret admirer?” Alexis whispered beside you as the three girls began crowding you. You nodded, your eyes finally focusing to see the words scribbled on the paper. 
‘Every time I go camping, I always getting so terrified because I’m really scared of the dark. Keep that between us though! Oh, btw, no tree 2day, sry :(’ 
You giggled, quickly closing the note before lifting yourself up a bit to stuff it in the back pocket of your jeans. The girls eyed you, obviously slow readers who didn’t get passed the first 3 words. You remained silent, allowing Principal Michaels words to flow through as you grinned to yourself. Afraid of the dark, stalker? You’re just narrowing it down for me, you thought to yourself. It was an easy situation see: go on the trip, see what night activities occur and stare at those who seem the most terrified. Easy. 
“The boys will choose who they’d like on their team,” Principal Michaels. “You can try and plead them to choose you, but nonetheless it’s their decision. As for the boys,” he resumed, glancing over at the tall boy band before him, “you’ll have to choose 24 students each as the senior class, excluding you boys, is 96.” 
“Fucking yikes,” you huffed, calculating the numbers in your head. 6 cabins, 4 people in each one, gender mixture being a possibility. “I sorta don’t want to go anymore.” 
“You’re going,” Des insisted as she slapped a permission slip on your lap before passing the small stack along to Alexis. You groaned, having Des roll her eyes before placing her hands on your shoulders. “It’s only 2 nights and you always want nothing more than to be out of the house.” 
“Well sure,” you began with a grumble. “But 2 nights with pure strangers being idiotic and attempting to scare each other with Brothers Grimm stories isn’t exactly what I like.” 
“How do you know you’ll be with pure strangers?” Hissed Savannah, leering over at you with her blue orbs worth of eyes. 
“Knowing the situation, I know as fact you’re going to be in Michael’s team,” you commented, receiving silence from Savannah as you snorted. “And then Calum is gonna take Des and Ashton is definitely taking Alexis so I mean… I’m not a genius but surely I’m good at reading the situation.” 
“…Except you actually are a genius and can read anything and anyone like a book,” Alexis points out, having you smile at her response. 3.9 Gee Pee Aye, just like Luke said. Oh fuck, I’m thinking about Luke. 
“Whatever man,” you croaked, taking the permission slip to fold into a small square. You stuffed it in the sweatshirt pocket, keeping your hands in there to gather some warmth. 
“Whatever my ass,” Des huffed, playfully hitting your forearm. “You’re going anyways and you’re going to have a great time in Luke’s team.” 
“Oh-ho, I’m not on his team,” you spat. The girls all leaned forward to stare at you, having you scoff at them as you tugged on the hoodie in reassurance. “I don’t care if he chooses me. I’m in Ashton’s and that’s settled.” 
“You baby, you don’t get to choose,” Alexis cooed with a gentle shove on the shoulder. “Besides, it’ll be fun– Luke likes you and you get along with him best.” 
“That’s because I see nothing in him and he’s super persistent,” you growled. “He doesn’t know when to let up. So I don’t care– I’m not in his team. That’s final.” 
“Okay then, Princess,” Nathan said suavely from behind. You let out a heavy sigh, feeling a headache collect in your head as his head peeped once again beside you. “Want to join my team?” 
“Die,” you spewed quietly. 
“I wanna be on your team!”
“Pick me, please!” 
“Yay, I’m in Calum’s team!” 
This sudden, abrupt camping trip has completely punched the little desire to be in the institution. You dropped your head in your arms in defeat, attempting to mute the chatter with the MP3 you gladly stole from Des without any complaints. Blasting Tyler the Creator in your head, your mind wandered in the pitch black darkness to see if you could sleep for just 5 minutes. 
You allowed yourself to peek up to see a big crowd of seniors surrounding the table of the infamous quad by the name of 5 Seconds of Summer. They looked somewhat stressed out, seeing as several students were hollering their names and pleads to join their teams. Dumbasses, you thought to yourself. So desperate for attention, then when you finally get it, you’re stressed out. You shook your head as Alexis joined the table with a tray full of food. Des brought lunch, and Savannah accordingly ate a big breakfast. You didn’t have the energy to start walking through crowds for food. Especially not with the weakness you own. 
“They have pizza today, you know,” Alexis teased, flaunting the cheesy slice of life on her tray. You blinked a few times before hiding your face back in your arms. 
“I’m not really hungry,” you lied, your head vexing you as a headache was ensuing and brewing quickly. You hoped the lie would have placed a believable facade around you, but knowing your friends, one of them would take a hint and stuff something in you. But before any of them could chime, a loudness entered the lunchroom that was incomparable to the noise that was already blasting. So you plugged the earbuds back in. 
Forcing yourself to sit up, your eyes darted to notice the infamous blonde monster enter the lunchroom. Crowds of students (mainly women) tailed after Luke as he walked in. Smug smile and all, you wanted nothing more than to punch it off his face. Luke’s presence quickly drew his other friends as Calum, Ashton, and Michael escaped their table and dashed over to Luke. They were really testing your boundaries it seems. 
You increased the sound of the MP3, practically breaking your ears with rap as you watched the boys stroll around the lunchroom. Their combined crowds made them look like they were going on a school trip, seeing as they guided them around. But as you did, a sudden dizziness began striking, having you drop your head into your arms once more. Your vision was now tilted, having your eyes divert every which way to notice the girls looking at you with wide eyes. You pulled off the earphones and stared at them with wonder. 
“Y/N, you alright?” Des began worriedly, her hand coming to plant itself gently at the bend of your elbow. You nodded, your eyes struggling to stay open. Fucking fuck, you thought to yourself. This sudden weakness from sleep deprivation and starvation was really getting to you, and you didn’t know whether to be pissed at Luke or yourself or both. 
“Y/N, you seriously don’t look well,” Savannah chimed, moving from across you to stand behind you. You let her hold your chin to tilt your head a bit up. Her free hand resided on your forehead, listening to her silver bracelets clink against one another as she moved her hand. “You seem a little warm.” 
“I don’t have a fever,” you groaned, attempting to swat her away. But you were too weak to even dare wave your hand any sort of high velocity. You loved your friends– you do, but they sometimes fretted over you far too much for you to actually handle. “Seriously, I’m fine. I’m just tired, like I usually am.” 
“Yeah, but you’re incredibly groggy and you’re not jolting away,” Alexis points out. Right as she said that, a fairly loud growl emitted from your stomach, feeling a painful twist as you let out a hungry burp. “Y/N, are you hungry?” 
“I just told you I wasn’t,” you huffed. “What part of ‘I’m not really hungry’ do you guys not get?” The girls watched you as your eyes lightened up at the sight of Alexis’ pizza. You really wanted at least a bite, just to relieve yourself of this excruciating pain before you could get home. “I’m fine, really.” 
“Okay then,” Des hummed, her brown eyes looking down at her phone before looking at you. “Stand up then. Lunch is almost over.” Your eyes darted towards the large clock in the lunch room, seeing her words ring true as you saw there was only just 3 minutes. Reluctantly, you forced your legs straight to rise from the cold, circular table. Throwing your legs one by one over the seat, your bend down to grab your bag. But mistakes were very much made when you quickly rose again and found yourself go far too lightheaded. 
“Fucking hell,” you muttered, bringing a hand up to your forehead. The periphery of your eyesight was suddenly splotching black as you took one step away from the table. But then a jolt of pain hit your head and you found yourself going limp. Slowly, you saw your vision going sideways again while you were close to colliding to the ground. The last thing you saw was a black figure wearing a Cage The Elephant dashing to you, your name being yelled loudly in a masculine, accented tone before everything went mute and you drowned in the black. 
“Nnn…” 
Emitting a croaky groan, your brain was finally regaining consciousness. Slowly, you allowing your eyes to flutter open. Your eyelids felt heavy, but you nonetheless forced them up to get shot by a very brightly lit ceiling lamp above. Feeling your mouth going very dry, you moved your tongue around and licked your lips, providing the moisture of saliva all around. Realizing that you just awoke from a slumber, you jolted yourself up to sit up and take in your surroundings. “The fuck am I…” 
“The nurse.” Oh, of fucking course. You turned to your right to see Luke Robert Hemmings sitting beside you, his elbows on his knees with his back slouched. His ocean eyes were no longer beautiful, and more dim and sunken. His hair was a little messy, probably from tampering with it anxiously. His rouge lips were normal, though his bottom lip was much more crimson due to the lip biting he’s probably been doing. 
Great, you thought to yourself. There goes my heart. 
“Why am I here?” You asked softly, slouching yourself to lean against your hand. That’s when you finally noticed. On your right arm, the sleeve of your hoodie was pulled up with your forearm exposed and being punctured by a needle. Your eyes dragged up the wire connected to it to see it connected to a big pouch of liquid. Artificial nutrients, you guessed. 
“You passed out in the lunchroom,” Luke replied, his stern face not faltered a single bit as you distantly stared at the needle in your vein. Luke sound a bit mad, like you did something to actually get him pissed. Not that you were an angel, but you doubted to have done a thing to get the blonde, pompous idiot mad. “Because you apparently were sleep, water, and food deprived.” 
“How’re school nurses accurate?” You wondered quietly, attempting to escape Luke’s information. You wanted to avoid being scolded, especially by Luke. You’d actually feel bad, and that would be very annoying, considering how tired and weak you still were. 
“Y/N, what the fuck were you doing with no sleep and no food or water in your body?” Luke growled, anger present on his tongue. You gulped, goosebumps suddenly crawling as you made sure to look away from the boy. You didn’t understand why you felt bad– it’s fucking Luke. Not even Sav, Des, or Alex. It’s fucking Luke Hemmings, Mr. I-Am-Too-Popular-To-Try-In-School. “Answer me.” 
“Cool down, blondie,” you hummed quietly, weakly raising your arm to wave him gently with your hand. You couldn’t move it too much, seeing as that was the punctured arm. You rose the other hand to cup your mouth to emit a yawn before crinkling your nose a bit. “I’m not dead and you’re not my guardian. I don’t see why you’re acting like some sort of worry warrior.” 
Suddenly, Luke abandoned his chair, the plastic dragged upon the white tiles as it was violently sent back. You looked over and flinched, seeing Luke look down at you with vexed eyes. His jawline was clenching, with veins dancing up and down his neck and temples. He then went and slammed his hands down on the bit of bed that you weren’t occupying, his face just a few inches from yours. 
“Stop being so fucking careless!” Luke exclaimed, practically barking as you stared at him blankly. The scruff ornate on his chin was collecting very small dews of his spit, you noticed. “You have to be more self-aware and give a shit about yourself because it’s not just you that cares about you. I fucking care about you, and you damn well know this because I’ve told you this before and I’ll say it again: I. Love. You. So stop acting like your damn choices don’t affect anyone else because my heart fucking stopped when you fell right before me.” 
You stared, somewhat stunned by Luke’s aggressive take. His blue eyes were so dark, the azure not sitting well with you. You noticed his under eyes seeming a bit pink– had he been crying? His lips were in a pout, not entertained and very unlike his usual smiley self. You suddenly took in his words and allowed your eyes to fall down to see his shirt. Cage the Elephant. 
“You were the one rushing to me,” you connected the dots, looking away to take this in. You wanted the silence, but Luke was obviously not going to give it to you. He moved and ended up in your view again, still quite aggravated. “Luke–.” 
“Also stop shutting down my feelings just because you believe I’m wrong about them,” Luke barked, having you blink a few times as he huffed. “I flipped my shit. I threw myself on the floor so your head didn’t hit the damn floor. I was not gonna let you get a concussion.” 
“You cushioned my fall?” You asked quietly, seeing Luke’s eyes soften as he revealed a curt smile. He stood up straight and turned around, clinging his thumbs into his jeans. Before you dragged your hands up to your eyes, Luke looked back at you with a sympathetic gaze. 
“Before you start, I’m not gonna moon you again,” Luke spoke softly, having you hesitantly put your hands down as Luke dragged his pants that resided towards the left down and showed his upper buttcheek to you. Your eyes widened a bit.
A large, black splotch was evident in the very pale skin. The outskirts of the bruise was red, the flesh obviously agitated from the fall. There were licks of purple and blue in there, resembling a night sky in a hilarious way. But you couldn’t help and feel genuinely bad. You were a burden to someone you didn’t ask to take your burden-causing ass. 
“Luke, thank you for catching me and whatnot,” you began quietly, having Luke pull his pants up as he turned to face you once again. “I’m also sorry that you did but… you didn’t have to. I know, you care about me and love me or whatever, but I didn’t ask for you to do that. You wouldn’t have gotten hurt and I wouldn’t feel bad and have to apologize if you just let me fall completely.” 
Luke just stared at you for a brief moment, before bringing his hand up to your forehead and flicking it. 
“Oi, the fuck was that for, Hemmings?” You spat, bringing your left hand up to your forehead to rub it. 
“You sound stupid when you rant invalid reasoning,” Luke said quietly, sauntering over to grab the chair back and sit himself back down. He winces. He folded one leg over the other, studying you wistfully. “Even as strangers, I wouldn’t want to see someone fall down, knowing damn well I could go over and prevent a way bigger damage that the bruise on my ass.” 
Your palm was tickled by the wool sheets of the gurney as you distantly studied your black leggings. Luke bothered you, but not only because he was a persistent pest. He bothered you because even when he was like this, he was only doing it out of genuine care and kindness. He spoke words of sentiment to you, about you, without any hint of embarrassment. His heart is real and soft and full of warmth and completely saccharine. It bothered you because if you weren’t so stubborn, this would be taken, with ease, as the first time someone has given you romantic love. 
“Where’s Sav, Des, and Alex?” You hummed, refusing to respond to his banter as you looked around to see the nurse vacant. It was just the two of you, it seemed. 
“In class,” Luke hummed. “There’s about 15 more minutes before school is over, so just regain your energy before you could go home. I can take you if you’d–.” 
“I’m good,” you quickly dismissed before letting out a sigh. You stomach grumbled, annoyed that you were still hungry. Your left hand subconsciously held your tummy, having you plot a plan to grab a sandwich before returning home. But it seems Luke was ahead of you on that. 
“Someone left you food, by the way,” Luke hummed, having you turn to watch as Luke grabbed a brown paper back from the floor and offered it to you. You grabbed it weakly, placing it on your thighs as you opened it curiously. “I didn’t look in it, I swear.” 
You snorted, digging through the bag to fish out a packed sandwich. You noticed it was from Five Guys, humoring you as you put it beside you before checking more of the bags contents. There was a Pure Leaf ice tea, lemon flavored and fairly cold. Putting that aside as well, you noticed a note at the very bottom. Picking it up, you tossed the brown bag away to your lower legs as you opened the note up. 
‘I heard what happened– please eat up! I almost had a heart attack tbh. Anyways, this place makes my favorite sandwiches so I hope you like it. Nobody knows this, but I used to be extremely fat. Like, really fat. But puberty did me good and I still eat about 2 boxes of pizza to this day -H’ 
“What a loser,” you muttered under your breath, rising a bit to stuff the note into your back pocket with the other as you took the sandwich and dropped it on your thighs. You opened it quickly to reveal a nice sandwich before you. Your mouth was practically watering, super excited to eat the delicious food. But before you could, you felt two large, calloused hands wrap around the one being pumped with nutrients. You look over and see Luke stare at you, his eyes warm and soft with a curt smile playing at his lips. 
“If I may, I’m going to use your invalid reasoning right now,” Luke hummed quietly. “You’re going to be in my team for the camping trip, and it’ll be my responsibility to take care of you. Don’t quote-unquote ‘burden me’ by being careless during that time, okay? But on a serious level, please don’t worry me. I’d hate for something to happen to you, especially when I’d be watching you.” 
“Luke…” you began softly but he was quick to let go of your hand. He rose from the chair and stretched a bit, emitting a loud yawn. He cracked his knuckles a bit, adjusting his hair as he continued to look down wistfully at you. He bent down again, his hands down on the bed as his nose was just a few inches from yours. 
“Get that permission slip signed, okay?” Luke requested calmly, giving you a blush-inducing wink. “A little birdie said you weren’t going, and I think that’s what you could do to pay back my services.” 
You groaned, realizing he was the reason you weren’t currently suffering a concussion and potential brain damage. 
“Okay, now shut up,” you growled, smashing the half sandwich again Luke’s lips. Luke chuckled, taking a bite before rising up again to make his way out of the nurse’s office. “Where are you off to?” You asked curiously, somewhat upset that he was leaving. 
“I’m off to tell Ms. Lee that you’re okay as well as to get your work for the day,” Luke chimed, walking over to the doorway. He then halted, turned around to lean against the right side of it. “Nice sweatshirt by the way.” 
With that, Luke Hemmings left you in the nurse, with food on your legs and your heart racing.
ooo look at me, productive and quick update wow. if you liked this chapter, pls lmk right ovah here, and ill see you at pt 11 xx
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tumblunni · 7 years
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Bunni continues to play Richard And Alice! Random thoughts and stuff!
* I’m really not good at point and click advantures, so i dunno if my opinion is very valuable, but this one just seems... not good, gameplay-wise. The sections are all different lengths and difficulty levels in each chapter, and not in a fitting way. Like so far the only one where I had to combine two items was the first chapter, it took me ages to figure out what the game wanted me to do with the bedsheets. And then the second chapter had like zero point and click at all, you just had to find one toy brick and stick it to block one hole, then it was just story cutscenes. And now in chapter three we have a suddenly huge snowfield to explore with your painfully slow walk speed, yet there’s only like one thing you need to find and just... I’m getting surprisingly anxious worrying if I missed something cos i only found that one thing! There was a whole section i didnt explore cos i didnt realise you couldnt go back outside after you managed to open the door. And what was with the misdirect of Alice saying ‘maybe i can reach this window if i have something to stand on’ and then instead she just shot off the lock on the door? Does that mean there were multiple solutions to this puzzle and thats why the place was so huge?
* Anyway, the story continues to be intriguingly good! I continue to be really engaged in poor Alice’s journey through this post apocolyptic snow world with her lil son, and I continue to be really worried what happened to that son, since this is a flashback and Alice met Richard alone... Also I like the continuity that Barney is continuing to talk about the close call they had last time with a monsterous bastard who kidnapped them. This poor lil 7 year old is struggling to keep up and struggling to keep smiling so his mum won’t be sad, and its just SO COLD and he doesnt understand why they left ‘the safe house’ because he doesnt understand they were prisoners there. And god, its so sad cos you can understand how Alice might be getting frustrated with him, and you can understand that she KNOWS she’s being irrational, but she’s just so scared that she sucks at keeping up a brave face for her kid. But I think she’s doing a great job, she’s way more of a badass survivor than anyone else would have been in this situation! And Barney is being incredibly good too, he’s being really patient and obedient to his mum and he’s a really considerate kid, he gave his mum his toy car cos she was getting sad remembering when her husband was alive and they used to ‘go on adventures’. (”But we’re on an adventure now, mummy!”)
* And MAN I am REALLY WORRIED for this poor kid, he’s been showing signs of getting sick as they were travelling the snowy wasteland and I hope they can at least get a break now they’ve found this abandoned house to sleep in. BUT NOPE! Alice finds mysterious scary notes with some sort of log of... people...? It definately doesnt feel like just someone recording visitors or survivors they met, its got a weird sort of... priorities, to what was written down. ‘Fem. caucasian. 20s. Compliant. 65lbs.’ And then what struck me as especially weird was that someone would classify a kid as ‘Female. age 7. 21 lbs’ instead of like.. actually writing that it was a kid. This is someone seeing these people as.. merchandise. You never really get an answer in this chapter but I think it’s someone who was offering survivors fake shelter and then cannibalising them T_T The chapter just ends with Alice finding an ambiguously scary room with a bloodstain, but this is the only shelter they have, so all she can do is lock the door again so her kid doesn’t see, and barricade the front door in case this cannibal cult comes back for their home base... *shudder*
* But also seriously, why did I collect like five other red herring letters as well as the cannibal one? And a rusty saw and ammo for a different gun. Was that JUST red herrings or did I miss an optional puzzle?
* Its actually a weird relief to get back out of the flashback and back to our slightly-less-horrible horrible situation in present times. Sure, Alice and Richard are locked in prison, but in this apocolyptic scenario its a relief to be somewhere where you get daily food and working electricity. There’s even a tv that only sometimes doesnt work! And they have each other, and they’re building up a nice friendship now, and it just feels quite optimistic. Richard’s even getting a bit of a crush on Alice, even though the attempts at flirting between the two of them are failing horribly cos they’re both total goobers. i dunno, if they do get together in the end, I totally wouldnt mind it! I dont think its really necessary though.
* Aww but the more we learn about everyone’s backstory, the more I really wanna hug em! We still dont know very much about Richard, but we’ve learned now that he had an ‘average childhood’, at least, by his definition. And he lived in some sort of small country town, and he joined the army in order to see more of the world. But it went really badly and he got sent to prison for rebelling against a superior officer who made a clearly immoral order. JUSTICE FOR RICHARD, GRARR!! And then Alice continues to be way more well developed and interesting, even though I do still feel sympathetic for richard, yknow. Just a lil frustrated that it took us so long to even hear that lil bit about him, when he’s supposed to be the ‘main character’. Seriously he seems like just a framing device for us to talk to alice and see her flashbacks! Anyway, now we’ve learned that Alice didn’t have much of a childhood, because she was hospitalized for a long time. And she talks about how she felt like a burden and felt suicidal and how she never even got to make any friends til she grew up and became a lil more healthy, and then she sorta ended up in an unplanned pregnancy with the first man she ever dated, and never had a chance to pursue her dream career and just... wow Alice dear god, someone up there in the heavens hates you! God, I hope this game has an actual happy ending, please! And also it makes me EVEN MORE WORRIED about what happened to her kid, now im starting to worry if maybe he inherited her childhood disease and like.. it only first started manifesting during the apocolypse and she wasnt able to find a doctor in time.. or something... MAN THIS GAME IS GIVING ME A MILLION WAYS THIS SWEET BOY COULD DIE
* Oh but one random complaint... much as I care about Barney, he kinda isnt a very well written character. They fall into a lot of super outdated ‘fake movieverse child’ cliches instead of like.. bothering to listen to what actual kids talk like. He’s always using that fake cutesy talk like ‘i made you a waffle but i eated it’. Its rather jarring! ...but still I WILL DEFEND MY VIRTUAL SON FOREVER dont you dare kill him off just because his dialogue is poorly informalized!
* The next chapter is kinda boring, its not really even a chapter but just an intermission to show us some more gameplay and nothing else. Richard and Alice do nothing but have an awkward fetch quest to find enough stuff to make a pole to reach the termostat outside the jail cell, and then after all that it ends up failing anyway. I guess at least we do get a bit of character development cos we get to see them both frustrated and having a bit of an argument, then making up again, and etc. But meh, bring on the next actual plot flashback!
* “Why does Daddy live in the ground?”
* thats it im done this is how bunni is slain fucking hell
* god, I dunno if I made the right choice but I chose to be honest with the kid and try and explain what death is. I got to hear the backstory of how the dad died, so i THINk that was the right choice? It seems he died back when barney was too young to even really know him. It was at the start of the apocolypse and the family was doing semi okay living in a shared shelter with a bunch of other people. But then it was the start of government aid breaking down and society crumbling, and a gang stole the last food ration pack from them and the dad thought he could reason with them. And its just so sad cos Alice is thinking of all the ways it could have been prevented! ‘We’ve gotten used to surviving with less now, what if we’d just let that food go? we could have lasted’ And what if they’d shot first and asked questions later, instead of trying to be diplomatic. And apparantly back then things were a little less abd so there actually was a trader they could have got more food from, but resources were limited so they decided it wasnt worth it at the time. And the after the gang killed the dad and some of the other leaders of the shelter group, it seems like things just collapsed in a power struggle and thats how Alice ended up alone... And you just have this sad sidequest to gather flowers for his grave and then Barney is all ‘i dont really know him and i dont understand so i feel bad that i cant cry’ and then he’s asking if dead people can hear you from down in the ground. And I picked being honest again, and Alice didnt say yes or no, she just admitted that nobody really knows what happens after you die, and you have to choose what you want to believe. So Barney chooses to try and tell his dad about how they’re having a good day playing in the snow on this adventure, and Alice tells him that Barney’s grown up so big and strong, and Barney says ‘Yeah! Strong like a lion! Or you, daddy!’ and BUNNI’S SOUL SHATTERS INTO A MILLION PIECES
* i am gone i am deceased at this deceaseness aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
* And there’s like an optional note you can find that tells the story about some unnamed kid who was living alone with their friend Lucy and they were trying to survive without any adults to help, and its all SCARILY VAGUE and I hope we get to learn more about them later cos it just says how the same gang who killed the dad was just.. ominously circling around the area and Lucy was acting weird and then dissappeared, with a letter saying she chose to leave for [insert name of far away settlement here] but it was really suspicious and the unnamed kid thinks that the gang was threatening lucy and they must have kidnapped her and faked this note and then the diary just ENDS it just ends with the kid talking about how much they love lucy and cant live without her and we dont know if they found her or if she even really was kidnapped?? ITS SO VAGUE! its so vague that honestly im only just assuming the diary writer was a kid too, i mean maybe they were lucy’s parent or sibling or something? or maybe both them and lucy are older? but the way it was written sounded like they were like early high schoolers or something (then again this game is bad at writing kid characters so maybe not) I MOURN FOR YOU, UNNAMED DIARY PERSON AND LUCY OF MYSTERY
* OH GOD DOOM when it went back to modern day, now its got all mysterious and weird and sad too, AAAARRRGH the heroes are still in prison, but the guards have stopped coming to their cell and theyre stuck here scared and worrying and you dont know if the obvious has actually happened... i mean maybe the prison has been abandoned or everyone died and now they’re stuck here locked in their cell and AAAA eventually the cold will start seeping in and kill them too and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
* okay im gonna go get back to playing this game
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