#and no I will not be exposing the fic I won’t put myself rn

[gggoldfinch]

Do you ever just.,, read something in a ~niche fandom~ fic,, and instinctually know exactly what this one irrelevant passing thing is in reference to. Like, say, a pet’s name being a super obscure reference to something in the fandom/irl that one would not get unless they were originally in on it. I’m SCREAMINGHDHDJKD 

[mallowstep]

tbh i think what ur doing rn w the cws above the readmores and actual content is fine? it doesn’t expose more than, for example, a sa tw tag bc tumblr would still show what tag was being filtered out. i’m also fairly sure blocking u would make ur posts not show up in tags so if it’s a huge problem people can just block u

i suppose it's somewhat self-evident that i feel it is sufficient. if i didn't, i would do more.

ultimately, i know what is realistic to expect of myself, and that's written cws and readmores. tumblr gives you the tools to block out text as well (i've got one of my triggers blocked because it's a common trigger and squick that people don't fucking tag you think you do but you don't), and like. i'd want people to block me if what i do isn't enough because i can't promise more than that.

i think it is Unreasonable to expect me to not tag characters, as angst is part of what some people want (there was that Excellent mistystar drowns leopardstar comic in the leopardstar tag, for example), not to mention it's something i do for myself (my frustration at not being able to find my tigerstar drowns leopardstar scene, for example, and i was Lucky i had saved the draft of the post). especially since i have given you a tag to block if you don't want to see it.

with that in mind, there are triggers and squicks that are hard to block if one doesn't tag them. cults, for example. at no point does cult come up in the text, and it's frankly not something i usually include in a content warning.

so i do think asking me to tag that, and adding an abuse tag, is reasonable. my response is, i'll do my best but i can't guarantee anything.

in conclusion: obviously, i was doing something i thought was appropriate. someone made a request for a way to avoid the human misty au

i thought the way they wanted me to do that was unreasonable, so i asked for some input and found a solution that would allow people to avoid content they don't want to see.

you know -- i'm happy to do my best to provide tags. and i think on my end, as a content creator, it is reasonable to expect people to block tags they don't want to see. you know?

content warnings may be a new trend (god, does anyone else remember opening a fic on ffn and not knowing the hell you were getting into?), but it's a good trend imo, and one i'm happy to promote. i have personal reasons for some of what i do, and i have memory problems, and i'm a person, so i can't be perfect.

i, as an angst Creator and Consumer, and as a fic Writer, was admittedly somewhat affronted by the initial ask, not because of the request itself, but because it phrased it as though character tags exist purely for (feel-good) fanart. i assume the anon did not mean it this way (rsd is a bitch), but i Felt Like, "should i not tag 'for moments that we stole' with #squirrelflight, then?" again, not saying anyone Meant That, i'm just sharing what I Thought.

that's like. it's. i get really, really anxious about this. i'm Always Concerned i will not tag or warn for something. that's Part of why i prefer written out warnings to tag warnings, as well as: they're up top. you can't miss them.

if, for example, i don't want to see...drowning. if that's not something i want to see, but i hadn't thought of blocking it, and the only warning is in a tag, i don't know that going in. and that feels wrong to me. and yes, i could do both, and i do for csa, but that's the only promise i make. that, while i cannot provide a 100% guarantee of anything, i am very serious about tagging for it.

but anyway, it's kind of like. when i scroll through a character tag, fanart is great, but there's nothing like -- finding a new fic for them. and so like. again i don't think the anon meant this in the slightest, but it was phrasing that just bugged me.

i say all of this as like. i guess an example of how. there is not one good/reasonable approach. there are many.

when it comes to warnings and tags, my goal is always to provide people the ability to choose what they want to consume. that's why i put things under readmores and put cws up top. i understand skipping posts on mobile is hard, and i'll admit lately my standards for "requires a readmore" have gone up, but still -- i feel that approach is reasonable and sufficient. you have been warned; if you choose to continue consuming, that's on you.

however, it is equally reasonable to say, "i think you should tag cws." well, i won't (in a general sense), but i can do my best to be more compatible with that approach. if that means...i don't usually write a cw for cult, and people want me to, i will try to tag #cults. that's an equally reasonable request.

anyway this was supposed to be wrap-up. uh. real conclusion.

i think what i am doing is sufficient, or i'd be doing more. however, i respect that other people have different "protocols" for this, and i can do my best to be compatible with that.

i'm also -- before i wrap up, i just want to say, i do appreciate everyone being calm and rational during the discussion. it feels like something i shouldn't have to say, but i'm sure we've all been on the internet long enough to know that's not always what happens. it would have been easy for someone to be quite angry with me, and i'm just glad that they weren't.

[mookoo-writes]

~Perfect Family~ (EraserMic x Genderfruid! Teen! Reader)

[Part 1?]

Authors Note: This is sort of a comfort fic for myself. I'm closeted genderfluid to my family (except my sister who is super supportive), and let's just say there have been some moments from my parents that I sort of took as a rejection. My friends have also been supportive and so many ways, it actually made me cry. In my life rn, I know my friends (+ sister) are more supportive than my family. I'm probably going to show one of my friends this... so hi friendo and thank you for the support you've given me. ((I don't know if you want your name exposed so I won't say.))

Fandom: My Hero Academia Pairing(s): EraserMic (Eraserhead x Present Mic) x Genderfluid! Teen! Reader (platonic) Warning(s): Rejection, cursing, Aizawa & Hizashi being good dads, platonic reader

-My headcanons that will be in here- *Hizashi being super soft and gentle in serious situations *Trans Aizawa *Aizawa and Hizashi are married *Hizashi has jumped from foster home to foster home *Aizawa was raised in a bad home

~~~~~1st P.O.V~~~~~ "I guess I don't have a daughter anymore"

Just like that, my dad closed the door on me. Tears running down my face as I shakily grasped the three bags lying next to my legs. Glancing at a pile of snow near me, I spotted my binder, wet with holes in it. I grasped the fabric in my hand and proceeded to walk down the street.

I never thought this would happen. I never would have imagined my own parents throwing me out just because of who I actually am. Telling them was a bad decision. Thinking they would be supportive was the worst choice I could make. I should have thought more about how they reacted when I told them I wanted male clothing. I should have seen all the signs.

It was in the middle of December at the dead of night. Probably one of the worst times to be walking back to my dorm in U.A. I pulled my scarf up to my nose, so no one has to see my emotional breakdown about to happen any second now.

I caught glims of the gates leading into U.A. grounds and sighed in relief. When I get to my dorm, I'm planning to curl up in a ball and cry the night away. Good thing everyone left so they don't hear me. They've all gone home for the holidays to their families, something I was originally going to do.

As I walk through the entrance, I could hear footsteps coming from the opposite direction. Not good, not good. Pulling up the fabric wrapped around my neck, I tried to hide my face as much as possible.

"My favorite listener! Why are you out this late and not with your family?" That is the voice of Present Mic. Completely ignoring his question, I waved and kept walking.

Mic wasn't an idiot. He knew something was wrong by the way your eyes were red and puffy, and he wanted to know.

"Hey now, what's up?" Concern laced over his voice as he now stood behind me. I stopped in my tracks, my head still down. "I-i'm fine." My voice was shaky like I was ready to burst into tears. Well... I was. I could feel a hand on my shoulder turn me around. I came face to face with one of my favorite teachers. Mic bent down to my hight and spoke, "I've been doing this hero thing for a while to know that you are not 'fine'." I played with the sleeves of my coat as he waits for me to answer.

"I just..." I started, trying to find the right words. "I just told my parents something I probably shouldn't of." I didn't look up at his saddened eyes as I shuffled my feet.

"Is it because of your gender?"

You froze. How did he know? Have I been that obvious? "How did-" Tears welled up in your eyes again. Mic opened his arms wide with a sad smile on his face. I quickly ran into his arms and hugged tightly as I sobbed into his shoulder.

"Don't listen to what they say. You can be whatever you want to be. You're valid." Hearing those words come out of his mouth made me cry harder.

I could feel myself being lifted in the air, wind blowing past my face. I clutched the binder tightly as I felt like I was moving. "Hey, I have an idea," Mic said softly yet excitedly. I hummed, looking around to see he was heading to the dorm buildings. "Why don't we stop at a 24/7 open store, get some ice cream, and head to my place. I don't want to leave you alone after this, and I especially don't want you to be alone on Christmas." I wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my coat and looked at Mic. "Are... are you sure. I don't want to bother you and  Mr. Aizawa on your break."

Mic pushed open the door to the dorm building and began to walk up the stairs. "I'm positive. What room?" "8 and... thank you." The teacher smiled widely as he stopped at my door. He gently set me down on the ground so I could unlock the door.

Opening the door leading into my room, I placed my bags on the ground and emptied one of them. "So, how long do you want me to stay? Tonight? The next two days?" Mic pocked his head in as he didn't want to be disrespectful to come into my room. "I was thinking the whole two weeks if you're comfortable with that, that is." I stopped in my tracks as I listened to his words. A whole two weeks? "Are you-" "Yes I'm sure" Mic cut me off with a laugh. "And I'm sure Shouta wouldn't mind too. You are his favorite student, even if he won't admit it."

I mean, it would be better than staying alone. I thought about it for a moment, before nodding with a weak smile.

As I packed everything I needed, I explained Mic the event that took place half an hour ago. When I finished, I walked out of my room and locked the door before turning around to meet Mic. He was leaning on the wall while whistling a toon. I smiled and trotted over to him, giving him a thumbs up. "I'm guessing your ready listener?" I gave a small nod as we headed our way out.

~~~~~Time Skip~~~~~ Mic and I walked into a condo-like apartment that was located on the very top of the building. It looked like something from a movie. Records on the wall, fancy fireplace, expensive looking speakers, etc. To be honest, I wouldn't expect anything less from Present Mic.

Earlier before we walked out of the elevator, Mic warned me to be quiet.  Aizawa gets pretty angry when he wakes him up.

Right after Mic closed the door, there was a voice. "It's about time your home. You were out later than... Y/n?" I slowly turn around to find Aizawa standing there with a pair of pink sweat pants on. His cold stair piercing into my soul like daggers. I shakily raised my hand and waved "It's nice to see you, Mr. Aizawa." Mic turned around and took off his shoes.

"Shouta! I didn't expect you to be up!" I followed Mic's action and slipped my own shoes off. "Hizashi, can I talk to you for a minute." Aizawa's stare hasn't left me. I fidgeted with the strap that was slung on my shoulders. "Sure. The guest bedroom is down the hall to the right." Mic ruffled my hair and sent me off to find the room I'll be staying at.

As I looked around, I could hear them speak.

"Why are they here and not with their family?"

"Because I saw them walking onto U.A. grounds as I was leaving, holding a wet binder and carrying more bags than they left with"

"What does that have to do with anything."

"That has to do with a lot, Shouta. Their family threw them out of the house and left them on the streets."

"Still. It's inappropriate to bring a student to a teacher's home."

"Shouta-"

"It was unprofessional of you. You can't invite every student in."

"Shouta-"

"I'm going to talk to them and tell-"

"Aizawa Shouta!"

There was a pause for a moment before Mic spoke again.

"Listen to me. They got thrown to the curb because they are genderfluid."

Another moment of silence passed.

"I know we both didn't have the best homes. Hell, I didn't even have a place to call home. But do you know what kept us going? Each other. By the looks of what I've seen, Y/n doesn't have anybody. They always sit in the back alone. Not talking to anyone or opening up. They opened up to the people they trusted the most and look where they are. We need to be people they trust. We need to be there support."

There were some shuffling and bags being placed down. "Y/n reminded me of you. They gave the same face you made when you were called the wrong gender. You know what it felt like." I could hear a sigh come from Aizawa.

I was going to walk closer, but the floorboard creaked underneath my foot. A small groan escaped my mouth. I should probably just stay in the guest room until one of them call me for something.

As I walked into the guest bedroom, I spotted a mountain of black fur laying on the bed. Carefully setting my bags down, I gently stepped towards the creature. As I did so, their head popped up and looked at me with their yellow eyes. The cat stretched its limbs and plopped back down on the sheets. A small smile came across my face. After letting the black cat smell my hand, I gently pet their head. Hearing a purr of satisfaction, I decided to lay on the bed next to the cat. "Hey, cutie." They made a soft mew sound as they curled up next to my side.

I lay like that for a little bit until there was a knock at my door. I look up to see Mic standing in the doorway, except his hair was in a bun and wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt with a band logo printed on it. "How's about we watch a movie and eat that ice cream we promised you." He asked while leaning on the doorframe. "Sounds good."

The next hour and a half was filled with comments about the movie or just conversing and completely ignoring it. Eventually, the movie ended and the ice cream was devoured. Mic had gone to bed but I couldn't sleep. Not with all that's happened today.

I rummaged through my bag and pulled out the torn and beaten binder along with some needle and thread. I walked back to my bed and began patching up the holes. Just looking at the peace of cloth made my eyes water, reminding me of the event that took place a few hours ago. I figured some music would help, so I put on my upbeat playlist on low volume.

As I was struggling to sow back the pieced, the door to the room opened. "Why are you still up." I jumped at the sudden presence and quickly looked up. Aizawa was standing their, hands in his pink pockets. "I'm sorry. Did I wake you?"

Without saying anything, he walked towards me and took the binder out of my hands. He held it up to see all the holes and messy stitchings. "What happened to this?" he asked, completely ignoring your question. "Oh, that? It's just a cheap, old binder." I nervously laughed while rubbing my forearm. "My 'dad' may have torn it a little, too. " Sadness covered over my voice. "This won't do..." Aizawa walked out of the room, the old binder still in his hands.

He returned shortly after, handing me a nice black binder. "Try this on." He closed the door before I could ask any questions.

I slipped the binder on and spun around. This one compresses my chest better than that old rag of a binder. Throwing back on my shirt, I opened the door to let Aizawa in. "How does it feel?" He asked. "Perfect. It's so much better than the one I had!" Aizawa nodded. "Put your arms up and cough." I looked at him questionably but did as he said. "No pains?" I shook my head. "Good. That's a way to know if a binder actually fits." I nodded with a smile. A smile ghosted over Aizawas lips before walking out the room.

"Can I ask you a question?" The tired man stopped in his tracks, glancing at me. "Why did you have a binder?" Aizawa sighed before turning around to face me. "That used to be mine." I thought about it for a moment before the lightbulb in my head clicked.

"Your transgender?" Aizawa nodded. I could see no emotions on his face before he turned around again. "I just want you to know that I don't think of you any less of a man." He stopped once again and patted my head with a small smile.

"Thanks."

[abripikuunah]

The Setting Sun

Pairing: Odazai (Oda Sakunosuke x Dazai Osamu) || Word Count: 2886 || Rating: Mature (Suicidal Thoughts)

Ao3

A/N :Finally this baby is done and I can finally rest in peace! BEAST was asking for it so here you go guys- MORE ANGST.But in all seriousness, I wanted to write for a long time after not writing for almost a year and BEAST came and when I saw Harukawa's illustrations, I knew I have to write BEAST!Dazai's character and express it with words. So I try to put myself in his shoes while writing his thoughts about Oda. I planned it to be simple 1500k words but my brain love giving myself pain so I ended up with 2500 more. Needless to say,it was painful af :/.Also there isn't a full translation yet so I might be incorrect with some actions and the setting if there is a full translation. The Setting Sun effect was inspired in the BEAST cover.

A possible illustration will show up in my twitter @AbriPikuuhnah (tumblr too prob) so stay tune for that I guess. But rn my eyes need rest so yep.

Comments and Criticism is very much appreciated and I want to here your thoughts! I hope you have enjoyed this fic <3.

Summary: Today is the fated day where Dazai will witness the last moments of his life. He did it, he made sure that this world won't be swept away in their existence, that everyone would get the ending they deserve. Especially his dear friend that would be able to finally live and write the novel in his dreams.He already talked to Odasaku for the first and last time but after saying all those selfish things, what more does he possibly want?

No matter…

The setting sun would be his audience and partner to execute the finale of the play.It was afternoon and the sun is about to set.

There's a sound of clapping followed by footsteps that could be heard and are now marching closer. The two men that were just fighting momentarily ago are now staring at the man clad in black, with the exception of the red scarf hanging from his neck. He continued to walk, but halted as he proceeded to tell the people in the roof about his plans, making no time to waste.

He then introduced them to the book who birthed them all into life. The book that granted his wishes into a reality. The book that allowed those black broken wings to sprout once more and grow more corrupted than before. A book where he held a pen of revolution to let his bloodied selfish heart write in it.

He told both Atsushi and Akutagawa the importance of the book and why it must be protected. That nobody else should touch it and nothing should be written in ‘it’.

‘Because this world would be destroyed.’

He then appointed the two young men to secure the book at all cost, therefore not giving them a chance to choose. But he knew they both value their own lives and did not wish to be erased from existence, that, he could let his manipulative mind to use.  After his proposal , he gave the book to his subordinate, Atsushi, whose eyes were disquieted in fear. The superior gave him a smile of assurance to the young boy, providing a cold comfort before walking towards the edge.

"D-Dazai-san." Atsushi mutters, a hand reaching out, "It's dangerous over there. Please step away from the-",  but before he could finish his sentence, the boss tilt his head slightly to hint a small curve tugged in the corner of his lips, eyes still hollow as ever.

"Atsushi-kun.” he calls, and stops momentarily before directly meeting his gaze, serious , breathed an heavy weight in it’s depressing color. “Don't tell anyone about the book. Not even Kyouka-chan."

Before Atsushi had the chance to open his mouth and ask the obvious question, he was interrupted again. A sigh expels out of his superior’s lips followed by a warning they both needed to heed.

"If there are three people that have the knowledge of this books true existence, the world itself would cease to exist." he admits and let those words echoes back, giving Atsushi the full message, and he knew what they mean very well. Without saying a word, he restrained himself from grabbing his boss from the dangerous edge.

The boss turned his face towards the city he owns. He’s looking towards the world his dirted hands created. The world he built and worked hard for, sacrificed almost, no, everything from his previous self for its sake.

Two pairs of eyes trailed behind him. While Dazai knew Akutagawa had no plans to save him, Atsushi’s eyes are in pain, as they were only able to watch his superior started walking closer to death's door. Dazai’s body swayed while going towards the edge, the taps of his steps though, is deafening. As he felt the sun beckoning him closer. He also felt that the world seems to stop. Everything went into a slow painstakingly motion and only his rapid thoughts dances around mercilessly.

He still revels into it nonetheless.

The wind seems to only have the freedom to move solemnly as it caressed his exposed skin. He doesn't want to wait if he has a choice, he is impatient and death is already welcoming him . He wanted to asked the damn gods why not just let him fall off and perish already to finally burst down these emotions that has been bottling up his chest in the cold ground like asphalt.

But he doesn't complain.

Dazai… does admires the sight showing its behold . The dusk reminds him the reason why he did all of this in the first place, why this cruel and unfair yet giving world existed and hoped that it perpetually keep moving on its wake.

"Odasaku!"

A voice laughs in the back of Dazai's mind.

"Are you admiring the setting sun again?"

‘Ah, again’ he thought.

His constant habit of reminiscing starts once more.

It was like this time again, where the two of them are at the docks, wandering aimlessly where they let their conversations and idle topics leads them to wherever place they ended up to, not caring about the society in a whole. Somehow, along the way , they landed in the pier, where they were just in time to witness sundown.They watched while admiring it as it slowly started to sink deep into the ocean.

"It is beautiful is it not?" He hums, looking at the older man next to him expectantly.

“It is.” Oda simply replied, nothing more, nothing less.

But regretfully now,  Dazai knew that there’s more deep inside his thoughts. He knew that there’s a reserved blank canvas of Oda’s mind, a place for him paint the sunset with words, carefully crafted words and would make the downfall of the day more alluring than Dazai could comprehend.

Dazai couldn't keep count over how many days had passed since he last saw Odasaku’s warm gaze comfort him. It has been so long that it became nothing more but a distant memory that is just close to his depths of his scarred heart.

His sight is completely set on the scarlet sky, appreciating the way how the setting sun bids goodbye to him. He still wonders until today what kind of words are blooming in his mind. Odasaku never said he wanted to become a writer, until everything was too late. But Dazai remembered clearly when he started to think what does he write inside of his sentimental thoughts.

‘They're surely beautiful.’

And Dazai doesn’t feel anything else but to agree.

His rusty eyes are now transfixed to its changing hues of reds and purples of the late afternoon sky that are followed by the darkness of the night.

If you ask Dazai, however, of how he would describe the dusk , it would depend on which type of person he’s with. Like the series of masks he has, he will give you a different answer as well.

But if you honestly want to see the true answer that's been etched deep inside of him,  it would've been…

“It looks a lot like you, Odasaku.” He says offhandedly.

Oda looked at him, like his word popped him out of his bubble.

Wide eyes stared at the young executive while the said man kept his gaze and purposely not looking at the red head, or else he might falter to let out a laugh. But the taller,  blinks, “I see.” he breathed out and let themselves basked in the welcoming sounds of the crashing waves and watched the crepuscule.

“I mean it by the way. “ he muttered out.

And he truly does .

Dazai can fathom a lot of reasons why, from the obvious one of how the shades of red surrounded the sun that could easily be compared to his paprika hair . How the sunset flares also reminds him of Oda’s eyes that glows with a determined passion to provide and show the light.

To Dazai, he is his light, his sun. The one who provides warmth of the day and shows the beauty and grace of the never ending sky from dusk and dawn.

But the setting sun seems to fit him the best.

Not because of Oda’s features, for he just said that he is the sun himself. He realizes that it's mainly because even the time of the sunset is limited itself. As long the sun doesn’t drown deeper in the horizon, it’s your last chance to for you to be leaded back home before the shadows covers your way and be swallowed by the night.

In his previous lives, that’s exactly what happened. Before he was consumed by the abyss of hell, Oda came and became his sunset. His last chance to leave the darkness and live towards the life filled with a bittersweet light. And he took it willingly.

Now however, he doesn’t reach for it.

He strays away. Away so there won’t be any sunset to fill the hollow sky or to witness it slowly goes away again and again in his eyes. There won't be a sun to provide a day and afternoon but only a haunted starless night will be present in this life. His lip quirked into a frown before moving his eyes away from the setting sun and drifted his field of vision to the farthest surface of the earth his eyes could reach instead.

God, he keeps thinking about him too much. It hurts, it hurts too bad to miss him terribly, terribly so and the setting sun doesn’t do anything to help. His fist clenches, he then look towards the gap and finds the lonesome ground waiting for him.

Every recollection he has of them that he yearned very terribly started to plague him mind. It must be because he already decided, that this would be the fated day he would die. Death that he mourned for so many year is finally within arms reach. Maybe that's why the his world decided to drag time and let Dazai bask himself with these painful memories.

It's doesn't sound wrong.

He knows that his world thrives on schadenfreude towards it and manipulates his own corrupted being.  But he let's it, he let's this sadistic life of his toy with the masochistic devil inside of him like a puppet once more. But ironically,  he hates pain. He hates these abrasions that are gripping his insides torturously that he desperate wished that he had a knife for to stab himself to be relieved from the agony.

But he still continues. He willingly delves deeper in a past that would never be reversed by his own hands despite the power he has.  And he relives them, no matter how it make him feel like throwing up, he relives to them, even if it breaks him slowly . He relives them,  because in the clarity of its cruelty , beside it was beauty and color.

And it was addicting.

The phenomenon light rays scatter, bursting beautiful shades out of the scarlet sky.  Oda did just that in Dazai's own monochromatic life. In the midst of death and violence, the quiet comfort,  futile conversation they had at Lupin was enough to tint his sights to see the colors in his life. Sure it doesn't satisfy the lonely hole he has, nothing will ever will, but it doesn't also mean he won't value the things they did. He had something for him to hold on into and let these selfish desires have a purpose. This last moment of his, how he's constantly thinking of him proves that alone.

He believes that it made him human .

“So Odasaku, how was your job?”

“How are you holding up, Odasaku?”

“ Odasaku are you alright?”

“Odasaku-”

Odasaku, Odasaku ,Odasaku-

As his voices started compiling in his mind, filling it like replacing the oxygen in his body, the overwhelming asphyxiation invading his sense. His thoughts kept chanting his name like a mad prayer.

“Why are you so obsessed protecting this world?” Akutagawa's voice snaps him out of his thoughts.

Why?

Dazai kept himself from scoffing bitterly,

The answer is simple.

“This is the only world where he reads and writes a novel.”

The last ray of sunlight is about to came into close. He has to go soon and join the beautiful sun to drown themselves in the shadows of Yokohama. City lights however, are coming, not letting the shadows around Yokohama conquer every structures. It's a bit poetic really. Atsushi and Akutagawa are the world's new light, they would protect the book and will ensure it's safety.

But the tall building of the dark Port Mafia’s shadows is enough to consume him whole and take his sins and finally be punished.

Come and think about it,

It was afternoon and the sun is about to set at that fateful day .

He unconsciously brought himself back at the time where he held Odasaku’s dying body in his arms. The last glow of his skin that was seeping away life along with his warmth. The moment where Odasaku gave out his last breath and told him things that let Dazai walk towards the path of light.

‘Save the weak, and protect the orphans.’

Dazai turns around and faces the two once more. He could feel the heat wrapping around his body. It feels too nostalgic as the warmth that lingers in the corners of his body, as if tantalizing it to be Odasaku’s warmth that he will never experience again and will yearn forever in the eternity of the ice piercing death.

He lets out a shaky laugh.

He first looks at the detective. Despite being used to see him clothed in black, Dazai couldn't help but admit that the lighter colors suited Akutagawa well . It felt like the weight has been carried in his shoulders are lesser and more breathable than his other selves have.Odasaku really did patiently teach him as there's a light that are now reflected in his eyes.

He then looks at Atsushi.  He can't deny the fact that he did hurt him with his manipulative tendencies,  in fact it did worsen the undeserving broken boy at all. But it was for the sake of this world. He cannot apologize. After all, in the end, he guaranteed that Atsushi would be bathed in the light once more just like his other selves were and probably a little bit more better.

He cannot justify himself for the despicable crimes he committed in this timeline. But in the end, just like he said,  he will take all of these sins with him and purge them in the deserving punishment they would receive.

No one would forget his crimes, but they will all move on to a better rail.

Atleast, he could say that he still fulfilled the oath he vowed that day,  just in his own twisted way.

The only thing that's changed was that he fixed the fate and let the true deserving person to die in front of the setting sun.

‘Me’

Unlike him , the one who truly values human life and settled his heart in the right place will continue on living . The world where Odasaku is living in the light and will shine others paths in the right direction and claim his well worth legacy.

Even the Agency and to the others he has somewhat cared for…

Will at least be happy or content, even without him.

“I can't let a world like that disappear.” he finally says as he let's the last chapter of his life come into close.

Maybe the agency and the others who knew him in the previous life will mock him at how stupid he is.

That's fine.

Maybe the other Odasaku's in the different worlds would be disappointed at him…

…

The wind strengthen and his body felt light and was tilted towards the back as he was pushed and fell.

“This is it,” He mutters as the adrenaline in his body pumped faster by each matter of second, “The moment I've been waiting for. I looked forward to it, truly…” And he smiles with closing those tired eyes and expel every burnt out emotions.

Like that, peace was glazed in his face.

And like that, he finds a dream inside those lids.

“I only have one regret.” He unconsciously says.

In a soundless dream, he sees Odasaku inside of a kitchen, holding a pen, a manuscript resting in his table. He wonders what type of novels he will write? Then it dawned on him,

“I can't read the novel he would one day complete.” He breathed out as he can hear the rushing wind kept chanting for death.

It truly is a shame, “I… I regret that a little now.” He says as he kept picturing Odasaku writing the novel he longs to tell. The light has faded,  the world was gone, Dazai numbed his senses as he stopped caring about anything anymore.

Except him .

He can see it but not perfectly, as his face was blurred out in his imagination.

What would Odasaku expression be? Would he be confused? Tired? Was there a smile curved in his lips? Are his soft eyes glowing with thoughts as he will write down to convey a story into life?

Before he met total darkness, he wants to imagine and see Odasaku's face one last time.

He wants to open his eyes once more to look at the setting sun that resembles a man name Oda Sakaunosuke .

He took a deep breath.

.

.

.

But when he open his eyes it all went black.

[neoyeppuda]

3 n 4

3. What is your absolute favorite kind of fic to write?

I love writing really heart warming fics~ Or really good angst. It doesn’t really matter what the request is or the type of fic because I always make it a point to write it in a way that it’ll make the readers feel the emotions I’ve put into the story. Like you’d understand what it was like if you were in their shoes (I’m bad at explaining asfdkjgl) When people say that my stories make them cry, squeal, or anything then I know that I did a good job :> I love writing those kinds of fics (wow my english went downhill from the first sentence) -Clar 

4. Are there any other fic writers you admire? If so, who and why?

OMG THERE’S A LOT!! If I mention everyone this’ll be longer than 10k words?? (I have notifs on for everyone btw

@joshpup, her fics are so cute and adshgkfdhjlkgh I could read them over and over without getting tired of it (THOSE HALLOWEEN PROMPTS). I have her stuff in screenshots in my phone so I can read them even if I don’t have wifi~ I also admire how nice and kind she is asfdgfjjkl she’s a blessing pls love her a lot

@jejublr because her stuff makes me so soft and they’re always so funny and heart warming!! I binge read her stuff when I’m sad and they never fail to cheer me up, just like the writer herself~ (I did a collab with her and oh my god she wrote it beautifully) :> (I have screenshots too HAAHHAA)

@choco-seventeen her fics omg the tulip dress (I recommended this to feesha and she was screaming) and best friend’s older brother josh (”then you must be an angel” AAAA I’M FANGIRLING)?? I love how she writes her stories and the way she presents the characters and situations!! It’s all so beautiful. She’s one of the first fic writers I got into too!! I’ve read everything and asdfghjkl I love everything(I have screenshots too~)

@kingyu97 THIS BEAUTIFUL GIRL WRITES THE BEST ANGST EVER (dino x younghee broke my heart ok) not only that but she has so much great ideas and she’s an angel asdfghjkl She just started her writing blog and I hope it goes well for her!! 

@theliqht oh my god. Art. Beautiful and dazzling art. I don’t know omg. Words fail to describe how good her stories are I’m- IM CRYIIIIING (her assassin aus akdjslkgfhgklhdsksd I’m malfunctioning) AND HER FLUFF!!! (joshua’s roommate au

@wannaonedream/@7teentexts (YO VER IDK WHICH ONE TO TAG SO BOTH??) well her fics are so cute!!! (bullet points and texts) BUT AAAA if you want something to make you smile then check her out!!

@justsomekpopstuff AN ANGEL!! ASIDE FROM THAT SHE WRITES MASTERPIECES!! omg okay I loved her soulmate aus (THE DK ONE I’M SORRY JOSH BUT THE DK ONE) and she’s so nice and kind and thoughtful oaskdjslgl bless her

@andromedaneedsoxyjin HER ANGSTS ARE BEAUTIFUL I CRIED SO MUCH WITH THAT JUN ONE AND THE ONE BASED ON DAY6′S CONGRATULATIONS W HOSHI AND BAEKHYUN?? omg masterpieces!! They’re all so beautiful and her angsts are all so unique and different that it’s so cool and you’ll never tire of them!

@sunnysidewrites her angsts break my heart so much but I can’t stop reading because they’re beautiful :”) (the recent wonwoo wip omg) AND HER 99BAD SERIES YESYESYES her urls are so nice and adsfhgfjl sunny fits her very well bc she’s sunshine

@kfictionist AFIIEEEE!! HER STUFF IS SO CUTE OMG FIREWORKS WITH JOSHUA AND OHGMGFKGFGKLAFJ I won’t spoil but d’aawwwwwwwwwwwwwwww issocute!!!

@myungho her stuff is so cute I melt T_T I get all giddy when I read them omg adsfhgjgkl the Jihoon fic she recently made was beautiful but it’s gone :”( THERE ARE OTHER FICS ON HER BLOG THO AND THEY’RE JUST AS GOOD!!

@yoongiscutesweaterpaws HER STUFF IS SO GOOD OMGGGGG!! I requested an angsty yoongi college au fic (I love college aus ok) under the name chichi (I am exposing myself but idc) and oh my god it was beautiful?? AND THE LAST LINE GOT ME CRYING

@pasteluji The soulmate au series :”))) it’s beautiful :”) (I loved Jin’s so much and I’m emo rn) I haven’t finished all of it but I will soon!!! (and the how bts smoothly tells you “I love you”) cutecutecute!!!

@teukbyeolhansol AAAA I LOVE HER STUFF!! plus her lockscreens~ okay but her One Step Ahead and Morning kisses was so good!! I’m a sucker for chanyeol fics idk why and one step ahead was beautiful T_T

@writingdummy THIS IS RUN BY TWO CUTE SWEETHEARTS AND THEIR SLEEPING TOGETHER HOSHI FIC WAS SO CUTE IM- (and omg their mingyu fic????????) I requested and I’m so excited to see what beautiful work of art they’ll create!!!  This is it for now!!! I have more but I’ve mentioned the ones that mean a lot to me :”) -Clar