#and not too just for laffs

[teacupsandcyanide]

hi everyone check out these funny shirts

As an Asian-Australian, one of the delights of my youth was being surrounded by Asian products with bad English on them. Personally I think it's fine to have a giggle at them as long as you don't call it "engrish" and you understand that Westerners are not immune to being similarly bad at other languages. People simply think "hey that other language looks cool, I'm gonna put it on a shirt" and they don't let not knowing a single word of that language stop them. I get really nostalgic whenever I see Asian products with bad English specifically, and I wanted to share a haul with you today, in order of most coherent to most absolutely bananas. I would encourage you to read the image descriptions.

[Image ID: A white t-shirt emblazoned with photos of broccoli and black text outlining the nutritional value of broccoli per 100g (3.5 oz). Text litters the design reading "CALORIE 36.0" and "CABBAGE FAMILY". The masterpiece is headed by the word "Broccoli". To the side of this shirt is another, smaller shirt, also white. The design of this shirt is much simpler, with just the word "Broccoli" in green, and a small picture of broccoli. /.End ID]

Specimen 1: Broccoli shirt. This fits into the popular category of fruit, vegetable, and drink-based attire. Common examples of this tend more towards strawberry, milk, avocado, citrus, and chocolate, though, so the broccoli is distinctly more left-field than the more favoured carrot or radish, typically considered cuter vegetables. I appreciate this diversity and the funducational approach, as well as the fact that there is a smaller, matching shirt, as if for a child or especially large dog. I like how the smaller shirt is tastefully simpler but still includes both a written and pictorial depiction of broccoli, so you get a clear idea of what the shirt's deal is. @redgoldblue when you're finally ready to let me dress you up like a smaller version of me and carry you around town telling people that I'm a vampire and you're a porcelain doll haunted by my human ghost, I think we should start here. Rating this a 6/10.

[Image ID: A black t-shirt cropped to a v-shape, with matching black arm bands/arm warmers. This shirt has a band of distorted pink texture placed exactly where the tits would be, were the wearer a tit owner. Over this texture is the picture of a tabby kitten with a blue ribbon around its neck and a pink rose tucked into said ribbon. The kitten is smiling a Mona Lisa smile and standing on some disembodied piano keys. The words "Here on earth, Joy iy youry" are written in warped pink comic sans. There is something in the upper right corner in tiny pink writing, which reads in part "joy/delight" and then devolves into inscrutable text. /.End ID]

Specimen 2: Sad girl kitten shirt with matching emo arm warmers. Obviously we've all felt when here on earth joy iy youry. Universal human experience. Love the tit highlighter. Shirt looks like the someone communed with Beezlebub to design it. 8/10

[Image ID: A grey t-shirt, slightly over-sized/loose fit. Design looks very American; it has a cartoon planet with a ring around it. Black text arching above the planet reads "INTERNATIONAL" and over the planet green block text continues "Pretty Girls Club". Underneath the planet is more black text reading "FOUNDED BY BINCH CITY". On one side of the shirt there's a slit that cuts up to approx just below the tiddy zone, or at least to the midriff. At the top of this slit are two clothing tags with mostly unreadable text on them, but one reads in all-caps "CHOOSE HAPY". /.End ID]

Specimen 3: Shirt for pretty girls who choose hapy. "Binch city" might say "beach city" but I'm choosing to believe that it says "binch", as "binch" is infinitely funnier. Slit is a wildly unexpected choice but doesn't do enough to alleviate the overall boringness. 4/10.

[Image ID: A blue shirt with one mismatched sleeve in slightly darker blue. Has two large starry cartoon eyes and blushed cheeks hovering, disembodied, on the lower right side, below which is a horizontal cut in the cloth that gapes open like a mouth. Dangling from the hem of the shirt below this face are two long strips of fabric with little chicken feet. The main body of the shirt has a speech bubble reading in large white text "Can you tie a bow for me?". /.End ID]

Specimen 4: Really can't get into this one, lads. Hopefully you too have the dreadful moment of realisation that "Can you tie a bow for me?" means that the cartoon face is inviting you to use its chicken legs to tie a bow through its open maw to hold its mouth wider open in a parody of a grin. This isn't speculation by the way, it's demonstrated in accompanying pictures. 10/10 for "oooh absolutely not."

[Image ID: A white t-shirt totally blank but for the photorealistic picture of a fat ginger cat taped to it with a thick strip of silver duct tape. Cat doesn't look mad about the arrangement. /.End ID]

Specimen 5: This Guy. 21/10, absolute mad lad.

[Image ID: A white t-shirt with some food and drink on the centre, drawn in a sketchy coloured art style. There is a small bowl of apples, and a bottle of milk labelled "milk". There is also a teapot made to look like a fridge, with its door slightly ajar and an even tinier bowl of fruit and a tinier carton of milk sitting on top. Next to this is a plate of either cheese or butter, with a breadknife lying on top and some remnants of unidentifiable food to the side. Words under this plate read "more parsley". There is no parsley on the plate. There are also larger words reading "Good enough to eat BUT DON'T!" with an arrow pointing towards the plate of cheese butter. /.End ID]

Specimen 6: Good enough to eat!!! BUT DON'T! I like that the milk is labelled "milk" so you know what it is. The teapot fridge situation raises more questions than it answers. I feel that the "more parsley" note gives a sense of philosophic allegory to the whole thing. There's no parsley on the plate, but is that why more parsley is needed? Can you ask for more when you have nothing, or do you simply ask for parsley? This design also reminds me of a lot of Korean stickers I've used. 10/10, classic.

[Image ID: A photo of a person wearing a shirt. The shirt is black and oversized, with a large pink toy rabbit dominating the centre of the design. Over this rabbit are all caps in pink and white, reading "MXCHN SAEAY". Beneath the rabbit in smaller white all caps are the words "JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE INVITED' DOESN'T MEAN YOU" then below that also in white all caps the words "FROM THE MIND' OF JORDAN PEELE". /.End ID]

Specimen 7: FROM THE MIND' OF JORDAN PEELE. Now we enter the ever popular gibberish category, crossing over slightly with the category of "selecting random things from Western culture to reference nonsensically", which happen to be two of my favourite categories. I once saw a collection of shirts with the disembodied heads of two of the kids from Stranger Things and text reading "EMILY + ME <3". I don't know enough about Jordan Peele's films to be sure that this isn't actually a coherent reference, but I know enough about Asian shirts to say with some confidence that it probably isn't one. Absolute delight, pleasure to have you here, 11/10.

[Image ID: A cream-coloured ringer t-shirt with navy blue edging at the sleeves and collar. It has a navy blue picture that at first glance looks like a cute cartoony drawing of two people at either a shop counter or having dinner. On closer inspection the picture doesn't actually make sense. There are two people sitting at a table with their backs turned to the viewer, their faces turned to talk to each other. But also the table seems to be two school desks, and at the same time be inside a coffee shop counter. The counter has what looks like a pitcher and coffee press, and two short stools in front of it. The table/desk situation merges into the top of the counter. There is also a light overhead and something that looks like an inkblot picture floating above the coffee press. Crowning this conglomeration of visual gibberish are letters spaced together like made-up words, arching over the whole drawing. These letters/words are "DNHELIE COST" then "1997", followed by "ENJOG DOPS COSRN SN". More words are on the front of the counter, "ene Lirenocs [unreadable] ENJOG Meanris". Somehow, next to all that are perfectly legible words saying "let's go!". /.End ID]

Specimen 8: HELLO? Truly in the total gibberish category now. Prime specimen of its genre. I took a psychic damage hit trying to describe the image. 9/10, point deducted because the design is clearly made up of stolen images merged together.

[Image ID: A white t-shirt with actually coherent design and English. Artwork of an cranky black cat over striped colours with vector art of a syringe above. Layered above and below the main image are the words "I GOT VACCINATED BUT I STILL WANT SOME OF YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM ME". /.End ID]

Specimen 9: Speaking of obviously stolen artwork, this is to a Westerner a totally normal shirt but I cannot describe to you how jarring it was to see this amongst my cutesy frog overalls and FROM THE MIND' OF JORDAN PEELE streetwear. I've tried to recreate the experience by saving this one until towards the end but I fear that unless as a child you also went to Morning Glory semi-religiously to look at journals with "lovely day girl" and bootlegged Disney princess chibis plastered all over them, you simply will not be able to experience the same emotion via the empty illusion of forced immersion. 2/10, clearly stolen, design is too coherent, this is an imposter in my lands.

[Image ID: A white cropped t-shirt printed with pink and blue pastel lettering. Lettering reads "Friendly Reminder, not being racist is not enough". There are pink hearts between the words "is not enough". Below this is a text bubble outlined in pink, which contains smaller black text that reads "Nothing will change unless we recognize and actively work against our own internalized biases, unless we are willing to risk our comfort for the sake of others". /.End ID]

Specimen 10: The only thing more jarring than the vaccinated cat shirt is this, also an obviously stolen design, but worse. This is the inverse of an imposter in my lands. I've seen artwork like this since 2011 on a thousand passive aggressive tumblrina blogs. Why is the DNI page of a white 23-year-old who does nothing but start fights over Steven Universe and have "soft baby pet" in their bio on a t-shirt sold alongside DNHELIE COST 1997. When I look at this I experience two emotions. The first emotion is a complicated inner conflict between knowing I agree with the basic principle of the artwork and not being able to separate it from some of the most unbearable people I've ever crossed paths with. The second emotion is this:

[Image ID: A screenshot of beloved fictional character Mike Wazowski standing in front of a door and screaming at his best friend, Monsters Inc employee and lauded foster parent James P. Sullivan, known to friends as Sulley. Foster child Boo, commonly referred to by Mike Wazowski as "that thing", stands in monster cosplay to Sulley's left. /.End ID]

Okay, I've saved the best for last.

[Image ID: A grey acid-wash t-shirt with a picture of a black skeleton floating with its arm spread out, glowing infra-red. Above its upturned hands are hovering a black star and a globe respectively, also both glowing. There are lightning strikes around the skeleton and poor definition red roses at its feet. Large hippy font words above the skeleton read in all-caps: "MENTAL ILLNESS". Below the skeleton similar all-caps read "SOCIAL MEDIA MAKE YOU BE A DIFFERENT PERSON". /.End ID]

Specimen 11: I believe that if you're a regular tumblr user you fall into one of 6 categories:

you are the kind of person who likes tea and libraries

you think this shirt is somehow problematic

there is some part of you that wants this shirt

you are the kind of person who likes tea and libraries and there is also some part of you that wants this shirt

you think this shirt is somehow problematic but there is some part of you that wants this shirt anyway

a complicated sexy lil mixture of all of the above

Please if you reblog this post put in the tags which category you fall under, for science. Also rate this shirt.

[anonymouspuzzler]

everyone has been so darned kind about the update!! to everyone who has taken a peek at our work, explored the site, shared it with their friends, drawn fanart, done ANIMATICS, MUSIC VIDEOS, everything and anything - thank you, thank you, thank you!!

also here's a lot of little doodles i found i did during production that i completely forgot about until now. the last little comic is a True Story that happened when i was hosting the exhibition

[Image IDs/transcripts under cut!]

[Image 1 ID: A full-color, digital drawing of a puppet version of Puzz lifting up Wally on her right hip. Wally is smiling gently and waving with his right arm. There is a light green and blue gradient behind them, and rainbow text above their heads reading "THANK YOU!" with little heart symbols in several colors. End ID.]

[Image 2 ID: A photo of Puzz and the Wally puppet, with a caricature of Puzz's face drawn over where her head would be. She is wearing read heart earrings and has her hair in a curly updo similar to Wally's pompadour. She is smiling with her tongue sticking out, looking into the camera. Wally is also smiling into the camera, one arm resting behind Puzz's back and the other hand on her arm. There is an arrow pointing to Puzz with handwritten text reading "PUZZ!" in blue colored pencil, and various yellow- and blue stars drawn around the image. End ID.]

[Image 3 ID: A black-and-white digital ink drawing of Puzz sitting at a messy L-shaped desk. She is wearing a baggy black t-shirt over a striped long-sleeve shirt, a grey skirt, and tights with a swirly pattern. There is a laptop to Puzz's right, a takeout container and cup of pens to her left, and a monitor right in front of her. There is a close-up image of Eddie's smiling face on the monitor. Puzz leans in close with an intense, thoughtful expression, going "hmm...". End ID.]

[Image 4 ID: A black-and-wite digital ink drawing showing Wally watching in horror as Puzz, spinning in circles with a vapid grin, ascends into the sky with a giant box balanced on top of her head. Her tiny top hat is in turn balanced on top of the box. End ID.]

[Image 5 ID: A black-and-white digital ink drawing of puppet Puzz and Wally. Puzz is standing in front of Wally, back facing the viewer, with an empty grin. Wally, who is about a full head taller, looks down at her with dumbfounded horror, apparently unable to comprehend someone being smaller than him. There are several question marks above his head. End ID.]

[Image 6 ID: A black-and-white digital ink drawing of Wally. He is leaning against a surface holding a phone, staring at the viewer with a gentle smile. He is holding the phone to his ear with his left hand and twirling the cord around his finger with his right. End ID.]

[Image 7 ID: A black-and-white digital ink drawing of Frank and Barnaby. They are recreating the meme image of two men in the snow, with Frank looking off to the right holding a small snowball in his hands, while Barnaby jumps up behind him holding a huge snowball, grinning widely and prepared to Dunk. End ID.]

[Image 8 ID: A black-and-white digital ink comic about Puzz and Wally at the Playfellow Exhibition. Puzz, wearing a N95 mask and dressed up like Wally, holds the Wally puppet on her left. In front of them is a woman with a short bob haircut and striped shirt, holding the toy phone receiver up to her ear. In the first panel, the woman says, "this is your voice?", to which Wally nods and Puzz looks on. In the second panel, the woman cheerfully adds, "you have a sexy voice!", to which Puzz and Wally both look shocked. The third and fourth panels shows Puzz and Wally looking at each other, then back at the woman. The final panel shows Wally covering his face with one hand and ducking his face into Puzz's shoulder in embarrassment, while Puzz and the woman both laugh good-naturedly. End ID.]

[poetrysmackdown]

WELCOME TO THE POETRY SMACKDOWN FINALS!

The semi-finals saw two of the narrowest races the poetry smackdown has seen—"Two-Headed Calf" won by about 105 votes, and "How to Be a Dog" by only about 53. In the past I had been able to prep most of the polls and graphics a few days in advance, but I couldn't guess it this time! To honor the narrow margins and give all four poems another chance to compete, I'm doing both a final poll and a 3rd place poll. If you would rather pretend the 3rd place poll is actually the finals, then you are of course free to do so >;) Even so, there can only be one winner!

What champion will emerge? Will the thirteen separate people in the semifinal tags with "Two-Headed Calf" tattoos succeed in rallying their base? Will the dogposters stage a massive upset on behalf of the blorbo they project on? In seven days' time, we will have our answer.

without further ado! -amelia 💙

VOTING ENDS AUGUST 21ST @ 6PM EDT

FINAL SMACKDOWN: "The Two-Headed Calf" by Laura Gilpin vs. "How to Be a Dog" by Andrew Kane

3RD PLACE SMACKDOWN: "Wild Geese" by Mary Oliver vs. "Meditations in an Emergency" by Cameron Awkward-Rich

[asb-fan]

Vecpioweek 23

💚day 4: Camping💜

CHARMY,, pllsss,,,💦💦💦

[adaricruz]

corpse bride au i came up with last year . inspired by my backstory for connor <3 connor is emily , tate is victor & violet is victoria . connor is wearing tate’s ring . nothing seems more fitting than connor suffering even in death .

original concept under the cut .

switched the lack of nose for an open skull & i added little maggots + a boutonnière to the new drawing .

[lesbiancolumbo]

corporate needs you to find the difference between this couple and this couple

[kiisaes]

every now and again i reread "always raining here" and get so got dam emotional !!! FUCK !!! that's my EMOTIONAL SUPPORT BL WEBCOMIC RIGHT THERE !!!!!!!!

CHECK IT OUT AND SUPPORT THE CREATORS IF U FEEL INCLINED

[thatsnotbuddies]

guy scripting the 23-24 nhl season simply needed more fics to read

[neixins]

happy ides of march is this anything

[ID: panel from “yona of the dawn” featuring su-won and zeno. they’re both smiling widely with their eyes closed; su-won is waving, and zeno is holding onto his arm. the text inside su-won’s speech bubble has been edited to say “i’m regicide”, and a speech bubble saying “i’m stabbing” has been added for zeno. text at the bottom of the image, written in impact font, reads “the betrayal brothers”. end ID.]

[childhoodgrave]

i rememebr very long ago talking about my grace low vision headcanons andone of my mutuals was like oh hey i resd a fic that had that :) andyhen was like Oh wait you made that

[cathalbravecog]

Really should be sleeping but I really just have to share that Archie my dearest finally got to Misty... At last they can see their bestie

(Their real objective is the destruction of Barnacle Bessie, the only being in existence that Archie feels negatively towards)

[p00pdev1l]

gojo likes when you say he's annoying during sex

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

Ooohh do we like her a lot 👀

MAYBE IDK?? Like I think she’s pretty ofc and her personality is amazing, she’s the first person from a dating app that I genuinely clicked with cause our humor is that same KANDNSNFND

[sunshades]

Your sparknotes tags on my post got me and the mutuals making conspiracy theories about how Limbus fans never actually read Demian. You opened our eyes. Why do so many people insist book Sinclair is a smol bean sweetheart. Why do they never mention Knauer Pistorius and Alfons. I'm pacing around my room in agony

RIGHT. RIGHT. once you start noticing it never ends. the focus on his and demian's relationship as if it's a romance novel and not a bildungsroman that heavily relies on metaphor. the other characters being forgotten despite them being necessary for the development of the novel with emil's world is Expanding as he meets many different people that fulfill various roles in his life (and here. knauer always gets the axe first because in their dynamic emil's the one that's in a kind of mentor position so that doesn't jive with smol bean limbus sinclair LOLLL) idk idk it's wild. i stopped checking twitter cuz i wanted fanart of these silly videogame guys and i'd just be seeing the dumbest takes in the world about books i love and it was making me lose it. they'd never understand what it's like to sit on the floor and stare at the fire with my buddy and realize i've grown up.....

[crumb]

Please know that if I ever say something like “I think I’m better than ppl who…” etc that it’s a joke and I’m constantly self shaming myself over inconsequential things but sometimes it’s fun to lie and pretend I’m way cooler than I think I am :)

[maiteo]

sorry for laughing n flirting n giggling on the dash during the xhaka memorial service😕…. do you still think I’m hot