#and nothing i do seems to yield any results and therapy is out of question for now (don't wanna spend money and also feel like a fraud)

[verdiesque]

venting in tags

[techmomma]

I made big progress with my trauma recovery the other day! I’m really proud of doing a very hard thing, and honestly doing so made me feel so much better.

Said growth involves realizing some unfun things, so y’know, look out for that under the read more, even if I consider this a hopeful, uplifting realization by the end. Christ this is long, have fun reading this word wall.

So I essentially lived in a bitter divorce household. Y’know, when the two parents have an awful, agonizing divorce that pits the kids’ loyalties against each parent and each other and themselves.

I grew up in that. Except they never actually divorced. Or separated. Not till after I’d moved out, anyway. So 20+ years of living in a household where my parents flip-flopped between “trying to make it work” and “screaming at each other and bitterly trying to corral their kids in this us-vs-them, me vs your other parent toxic tug of war.”

Why didn’t they divorce? Codependency and religious pressure because both were previous divorcees, one was an excommunicated catholic because of this, and the other was a narcissist who couldn’t admit defeat and made a promise to god to make it work for fear of the shame that would come from failing again! What a winning pair! Who definitely did not mutually cheat on one another and then act scandalized and eternally vindictive about this.

Anyway, what this meant for Steph’s psyche was every day was an eternal battleground of loyalty tests. Any disagreement was disloyalty. Saying the wrong thing could be taken as disloyalty. Yet, y’know. You don’t want to be disloyal to the other parent that you love. You don’t wanna throw them under the bus. You just wanna say what you saw happened.

Which meant every answer became this tightrope of not only validating and appeasing one parent’s ego, but also finding the diplomatic thing to say so as not to implicate the other parent, or get that parent in trouble, or appear disloyal because that too could come around to bite you in the ass. Sometimes we agreed with what one parent was saying, but taking issue with a small part or one aspect? This was seen as fully disagreeing and being disloyal.

You can imagine the pressure this put on an already socially-awkward kid, ages 4-20, to find the exact correct thing to say. It rarely worked out.

But I figured out a clever loophole early on: if I shut down, if I didn’t make a peep, if I said not one word—sure. That parent would be mad at me for not responding. They’d be made I wasn’t saying anything. They might yell louder, or guilt me, or threaten me with some form of humiliation.

But not saying anything was so, so much better than any alternative. Never once did speaking up end well.

If you know about pavlovian training, you can probably quickly see the conditioning that was set in. Parent would state an opinion, about anything. Give validation. Parent looks for validation about shitty feelings about other people? Don’t say a peep, let parent be mad, and eventually they’ll either get so frustrated they give up, or they say their piece and get whatever was on their chest off of it. Either way, they leave me alone. Maybe after three hours of screaming at me, but three hours could turn into six if I made them more mad by disagreeing or seeming disloyal.

And for the record, when I talk about loyalty, I’m not saying they were asking about actual loyalty. They wanted me to agree with their opinions. They wanted me to be on their side, their ally, no matter what the other parent said. It was all or nothing. “You’re with me or against me.”

Made all the more complicated that sometimes, if you seemed disloyal to the other parent, the supposed “enemy” in the situation, the first parent might berate you for that too. “How could you talk about your mother/father that way? How could you say those things?” Despite having been saying worse things minutes before.

They were volatile. The smallest, stupidest things could become full-blown arguments that could last for hours, at the top of their lungs. After which they might turn that to us, the kids, to get out whatever was left in their system I guess. Small questions, statements, became tests. Answer wrong, and there would be hell to pay. The most innocuous things could become loyalty tests. But most of all, the most discerning tests came when they were complaining about the other. When Dad complained about Mom, and when Mom complained about Dad. “Agree with me,” they said between lines, “Are you on my side? Aren’t they terrible?”

I just wanted to love both of my parents. I never wanted to choose.

My epiphany came when I realized that when others seek comfort from me, when looking for validation during shitty events or people being mean to them—y’know, normal things people do with friends—I was having emotional flashbacks. I was being triggered into a state of trauma, my brain receding to that familiar shutdown state. Terrified that whatever I say to comfort them, whatever I say to help them feel better, would be taken as a loyalty test. To voice even slight disagreement could be disloyalty.

My friends had never tested me. But my brain was reacting so firmly and my body so wholly that I had no idea. I try to be aware of my emotional states and how my body reacts but this shutdown response has just been so normal for so long, and such a large bodily feeling, that I never noticed what it was. And it wasn’t until watching a video about this type of situation, feeling like you have to validate someone not necessarily from a place of concern but of fear, that I realized what was happened.

I realized how deep the rabbit hole went. This has been happening for decades. At work, when coworkers would complain or even just chat normally about other coworkers, my brain was shutting down out of fear that my loyalty was being tested, I was being scrutinized for disagreement. When customers talked about my coworkers, my brain was shutting down, terrified to say the wrong thing and either disagree with said customer or throw my coworker under the bus. I shut down when friends talk about other friends, when people talk about other people and maybe I agree, but there’s an aspect or idea in the situation that I don’t agree with, or maybe I’m just seeing things differently from an outside perspective.

But every time, I was terrified. I was so scared that my brain returned to trauma, returned to that shutdown state from childhood (and some adulthood), because shutting down, previously, had always yielded the better result. Staying quiet, keeping my head empty and my thoughts blank, kept me safe for twenty years.

And now I can’t hear other people talking in a room without returning to that same shutdown state, for fear that they are arguing and I will be forced to choose between people. To love one friend more than another. Forced to pick a side, forced to soothe their emotions because if I don’t, things will be so many times worse. Heaven forbid they have disagreeing opinions, even if they’re calmly sorting them out, communicating in a healthy way. God help me if they’re actually arguing. I can’t think, I can’t even speak sometimes, voice pulled tight like I’m being strangled; I can’t even squeak out a sound. It hurts too much. It hurts so much.

Sometimes I can hear people through my earbuds or headphones and all I can do is lay on my bed and plug my ears with my fingers as tight as possible and try to hum a song, try to force a mantra to drown out the sound as I desperately try to soothe myself with some kind of stim, even if it’s just rocking side to side on the bed.

I knew I had problems with listening to people disagreeing. But I realized the other day how deep the rabbit hole goes. How often, daily sometimes, I’ve been having emotional flashbacks. How thoroughly this has been effecting my life, my relationships, my sanity.

It’s been so exhausting. Realizing how many things connect back to this central issue of toxic loyalty that I grew up with, how thoroughly engrained this trauma is in my life. Realizing I’ve been having emotional flashbacks almost every day, for decades.

I’m so tired.

But I’m really glad I did. It’s putting a name to the beast. I am finally getting to the heart of an issue that was so much larger than I originally thought but in turn, there is so much potential to truly grow and heal. If I know the beast, then I can know how to face it. I can know how to use CBT therapy for this, how to weaken it to progress. And I’m really glad for it.

I also did something very hard: directly forcing myself to face it, and told my roommates about this deep-set fear. I realized that I don’t often just talk about how I’m feeling, I usually do so in the context of like having an issue or a problem that we need to talk out or talk through. I don’t usually just say, “I’m really really scared of this thing.”

I told my roommates this realization and like the wonderful, amazing friends they are, they understood. It’s an internal problem for me, something just for me to work on. It’s my issue. But now... they know that if I go quiet when discussing other people, or leave the room when disagreements are happening, I’m not just trying to blow them off or or be wishy-washy. I imagine there have been many times in the past when a friend has come in need of support and my answer came across weird or like I was trying to change the subject and it was awkward and not what they were hoping for.

Now they know that my response might be weird because I’m having a flashback. I’m scared, my brain is shutting down and I can’t think.

And that’s okay. It’s okay to be scared in front of my friends. It’s okay to experience that trauma in front of them. I don’t have to try to pretend I’m okay or try to push through the fear when I really, really can’t. It’s okay to need a subject change or even to just listen quietly if I don’t necessarily want my friend to stop venting, I just may not be able to answer in a beneficial way. I may be shutting down and sometimes all I can do is wait it out. And that’s okay.

I don’t have to validate other people because I’m scared. Because I think I���m being tested.

I felt better not just because talking about these things helps but also because a weight was lifted. One of my main triggers is feeling like I have to respond and have to respond correctly Or Else. But now that they know, that weight is off of my shoulders. I can be afraid and not able to respond and they understand why now. I don’t have to try to keep up that lie or try to put on a face or try to push through it.

I can be scared. And letting yourself be scared is the first step to healing from it. I don’t have to pretend to not be scared anymore.

I always know I’ve hit the hammer on the head when it comes to my emotional issues because I start crying and even just typing this out made me weepy, haha. It’s a good weepy though. I made a big step, and I’m really proud of myself. My instinct was to take this and agonize quietly over it myself, find my own solution on my own and deal with it on my own. But I didn’t. I reached out, and it was scary and hard and it hurt and now I’m so, so much better off for it, and now I can really start healing. I can change this.

God I’m so tired tho. Holy shit.

[professormembranexreader]

Mad Scientist!Membrane x Frankenstein! Male!Reader pt. 2 (H&C)

RECAP

—————————————————

So Membrane made (Y/N) from other people and after he was restrained, just told (Y/N) his name.

Lab Report 5

One month has passed since the subject was created. Motor skills are exceeding our expectations. Speech still scattered. Restraints are occasionally needed. More tests need to be run.

Scheduled: Blood, Vitamin Deficiencies, Mental Illness, Mental Disabilities, IQ, Motor Function, Hand-Eye Coordination, Reaction Time

End of Report

Membrane stared at the paper in front of him. (Y/N) was yielding good results so far.  Sad, though, that they hadn't done any tests yet. However that is to be expected. He put his hands together, elbows on the table, as he lowered his head. What if this didn't work? Several people would have been torn apart for nothing.

But there is success. He had effectively crossed the line between having superhuman intelligence and playing God. He was giddy, actually. He had done something no one had ever thought of before. It was heinous, true, but the success of (Y/N) meant that full limb transplants were possible. Trained surgeons could effectively use parts of someone's brain to improve another's. It was an astonishing achievement for humanity.

He smiled. This would prove most satisfactory.

——————————————————

Lab Report 11

Two months have now passed. Motor skills continue to improve. Restraining the subject has proved increasingly difficult. Curiosity has grown tremendously since last week. Stronger, more durable restraints needed.

Reports indicate emotional development as well. Subject shows anger and confusion, but seems cordial towards scientists he remembers... which are few and far between. Has shown improvement with speech. It is suspected that he can understand almost all languages and now speaks in mainly Spanish, French, and German. Translators are being gathered and briefed.

Scheduled: Mental Illness, Mental Disabilities, IQ, Reaction Time, Strength, Memory, Language Therapy

End of Report

Membrane groaned. They finally told him about some tests, but they didn't even know what they should be doing—monitoring his conscience.

He sighed, and stood up from his chair. It felt as though he was going to have to run these tests himself.

He walked down to the "observation room" his team had put (Y/N) in. It was, in all seriousness, more like a jail cell with a one-way mirror. It was a long way from his office so he had a lot of time to think about absolutely anything.

He was scared. He didn't want to admit it at first—he literally watched someone assemble a person like a build-a-bear—but there was no other explanation for the way he hesitated to head down the long, spiraling staircase that lead to (Y/N)'s cell. It was well lit and there was a handrail so he wouldn't fall. The steps were wide enough for his (fucking gigantic) feet. There was literally no reason he should be so sweaty other than a rush of adrenaline. A rush of adrenaline that wanted him to run and turn his back upon his creation. It had to be fear.

But why was he scared? The last time Membrane had seen (Y/N), he was restrained. What if he hated him? (Y/N) has reported memory problems, so he might not remember him. But he couldn't help but wonder what would happen if (Y/N) did remember.

He continued down the staircase until he finally reached (Y/N)'s cell. Scientists scurried out of the way as Membrane pushed through.

"This is Professor Miguel Membrane, and I will be conducting tests three through nine." He looked over to his team, making sure they were ready. Pens were poised over paper. Two translators, German and French, were sitting next to them on opposite sides.

Everything was ready to go.

Membrane took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and walked inside. The room was a dull beige, only color was the faded red from the operation. The walls peeled near the corners. 'I'll have to fix that' he thought. The room itself was almost a prison room. A hard bed with thin sheets in the corner, a toilet, sink, and a shower all in the opposite side of the room. A desk sat by the bed; it had two drawers and looked as though it was made out of several types of wood.

"How fitting," the man chuckled.

He continued looking around the room they kept (Y/N) in, not knowing something was watching. He lurked up behind the scientist, breathing on his back. Membrane whipped around.

"Ahh, (Y/N), please, have a seat." He guided him over to his bed. (Y/N)'s eyes narrowed, but complied.

"Now, I will be conducting a series of tests on you. These will not require you to speak unless you desire to. Do this for 'yes'," he made a thumbs up, "do this for 'no'," he made a fist. "For multiple choice, point. If you want to skip, do this-" he put his hand horizontally- "and if you don't know shrug your shoulders. Do you understand all of that?" (Y/N) made a thumbs up with both hands.

"Quickly run through everything for me in the order I said it." (Y/N) made a thumbs up, a fist, pointed at something, laid his hand flat, then shrugged his shoulders.

Membrane made a hum of approval before flipping through the stack of papers he prepared. "Now, I'm going to give you an IQ test. Simply point at the one you think belongs in the missing space, okay?" Thumbs up.

After going through several sheets of paper, they finished. "Well done, (Y/N), you have an IQ of 128 (changelater)" He wrote that down as (Y/N) smiled. This one didn't push him or shove him around. He was gentle and calm. It wasn't too rushed, but it wasn't too slow. He had no clue what the IQ thing meant, but if he got to spend time with the nice man, he would answer anything.

"This concludes the IQ test. How do you feel (Y/N)?"

(Y/N) smiled. Yes.

Membrane laughed. "That's close enough to an answer. I'm going to ask you a series of yes or no questions. Answer honestly, okay? You can skip if it's too personal." Thumbs up.

"Do you want to hurt people?" No

"Do you want to hurt yourself?" No.

"Do you feel superior to anyone?" No.

"Do you feel less powerful?" No.

"Do you have episodes where you can't remember what happened?" Yes.

"Would you like to tell me about that?" He made both symbols on different hands as he shrugged his shoulders (what the cinnamon toast fuck did that mean). Membrane assumed that was a not yet.

He continued with the questions, concluding that (Y/N) suffered from mild depression and anxiety, and that could be chalked up to the new situation.

Membrane rechecked (Y/N)'s memory, albeit in a different way.

"I'm going to show you a series of pictures. You need to point to them in the order I point to them, okay?" Yes.

Membrane pointed to pictures of a bat, a frog, a cat, the frog again, the cat again, then finally a dog.

(Y/N) pointed at the bat, the frog, the cat, then hesitated a bit.

"Do you need help?" (Y/N) frowned. No. (Y/N) quickly pointed at the frog, cat, and dog, in quick succession.

Membrane laughed and nodded. "This concludes the memory test."

Several more tests followed, eventually adding up to (Y/N) had higher strength and reaction time than most humans. It wasn't surprising, as he was made up of all the best parts of people.

"That's about everything, (Y/N). Do you have any questions?" Membrane asked in a calm voice. This was shattered when (Y/N) said something.

"¿Cómo estoy?" (Y/N) asked in a raspy voice. Membrane jumped before quickly shaking his head to clear it.

He cleared his throat before saying, "Pues, haz una mirada." He guided (Y/N) to a mirror behind a locked cabinet.

(Y/N)'s face fell. "J'ai l'air... horrible." Membrane didn't know French, but it wasn't that hard to guess.

"No, estás muy hermoso."

"Was?" Oh no. He said that out loud. He said that last part out loud. And (Y/N) understood it.

The flustered scientist cleared his throat. "Dije... dije estás muy hermoso." He couldn't look (Y/N) in the eyes. How could he? Wait. Is this why he was scared? Was it because he...? His face was a rosy pink as he came to the realization he had fallen for his creation.

(Y/N) was just as shocked. His mouth hung open as his several skin tones all became red. The only thing he could think of doing surprised them both.

(Y/N) reached up and embraced Membrane, squeezing him tightly.

"Merci.”

Translations:

•¿Cómo estoy? — what do I look like?

(I'm choosing the version I got taught in eighth grade not translate hahA)

• Pues — well

• Haz una mirada — have a look

• J'ai l'air... horrible. — I look... horrible

• Estás muy hermoso. — you're very beautiful

• Was? — What?

• Dije — I said

• Merci — Thank you

[fernwehbookworm]

Haunted- Chapter 4

The night was nearly sleepless as Kara tosses and turns. The few snatches she manages to catch are filled with shadowy hands and bright lights. Sometimes, she could swear she could hear Lena calling to her. Kara gives up around 4am and does the only thing she can think of, diving back into research. She has to actually begin to decipher the scientific terminology in the report.

“You look like shit.” Alex mumbles as she trudges into the room to start coffee.

“Pot calling the Kettle.”

“And under your eyes is just as black. I think your bags have bags.”

“And I think I almost have this figured out. I think… I think Lena was working on a matter transporter.”

Alex grabs three mugs from her cupboard and begins to get out sugar and creamer. “What? Like ‘Beam me up Scotty?’ Teleporting?”

“No, nothing that complicated. It seems the goal was to be able to send things like fruits and vegetables or medicines to third world countries. From what I can figure out, they were close, but Lena pushed the experiment by herself that night and used an apple which is much more complex than the small sample of pure iron they had been trying. From what the research team was able to decipher, an energy surge from the machine vaporized all the organic material near it, the apple, Lena, and some granola bars at a different workstation.”

“Wow, that is intense. I guess it's lucky that the explosion didn’t expand past the lab then. It could have been a catastrophe.”

“Yes, I believe they are scraping the project soon. Which will be a shame, it feels like they should finish it to honor Lena.”

“Or they shouldn’t so no one else gets hurt.”

“Very true. Got any pancake mix?”

Alex laughs and begins routing through her cupboards to make breakfast. Kara continues to reread everything, hoping to absorb more. Kelly appears, dressed in a sharp pant suit, and kisses Alex on the cheek. Kara feels a faint ache in her chest. It had been so long since she had this domesticity, even though it all had been a sham. It took a whole year for Kara to figure out she was the other woman, while Mike went home to his wife and two kids in the suburbs and left Kara waiting for him at his rented apartment in the city. She was completely unaware of his double life, Mike had told her he was on business trips. Until she figured it out, it was the happiest Kara had been. Then she was crushed. Last she heard, Mike and his wife were still together.

Kara pushes the loneliness away and refocuses on her computer, twirling the pen between her fingers. Out of the corner of her eye, Kara can now see Lena sitting in the chair to her right. Instead of focusing on the phantom, Kara just smiles and keeps working. When Alex and Kelly enter with pancakes, the image evaporates.

Slightly disappointed, Kara grabs a plate and a small stack of pancakes to douse in syrup. Nothing is better then Alex’s pancakes. Maybe sex, but sometimes the pancakes top that. They are made with the love of a sister and that’s all Kara needs right now.

“We have to leave in ten, I can drive you to work afterwards.” Kelly says eventually.

“Shounds mood,” Kara mumbles through a mouthful of fluffy goodness.

Kara swears she hears a giggle from behind her but fights the urge to turn around, she can’t be crazy. Not in front of the therapist. The last thing Kara needs is to be committed before this article is done.

><><><><>

“Okay, just try and relax. This is a full dive virtual reality. Physically you won’t move, but your mind will feel like it is. The program will read your thought patterns and try to take you to a happy place.”

Kara removes her glasses and takes the little black case from Kelly. With a deep  breath, Kara pops the contact lenses into her eyes and Kara lays down on a very stereotypical leather couch and tries to do as Kelly says.

“Now, to activate the deep dive the key phrase to think is ‘Obsidian Pineapple Boots.’”

“Obsidian Pineapple Boo—” Kara gasps in surprise before she finishes her question.

Her vision goes black and then descends into a tunnel of colors before she finds herself in the snow. It’s shin deep but her boots protect her. The warm fur coat is soft and smells of home. Kara slowly turns as she takes in the landscape. SHe is home. Her childhood home. Before the fire. Trees are shrouded in snow and the full moon reflects off the ground, creating a false sense of daylight. The house is lit up with colorful lights and Stars of David. A menorah is burning in the front bay window. Everything is just as she remembers from when she was a child. Even the bite of the wind on her nose brings tears to her eyes, both from the cold and emotion.

"It's beautiful." Kelly says softly from beside her, dressed in her own winter clothing.

"It is." Kara steps up on the porch to look in the window.

Bathed in yellow light, Kara sees something she can't explain. The interior seems to be a mix of the Danvers beach home with her parents more rustic home from the outskirts of Moscow. Inside is her parents, and Jeremiah, Eliza, and Alex. A Christmas tree stands in a corner with stockings hanging from the mantle. On the mantle is a menorah. Its a perfect mix of both of her lives. One before the fire and one after.

"It seems you must equally think of your childhood home and the Danvers home as safe. The program pulled them together for you."

Kara only nods, unable to speak. A tear escapes her eye as she pulls off a glove to touch her fingertips to the cold glass. Instead of going in, Kara sits on the porch swing, hearing the familiar squeak as her momentum carries her back. Kelly eases herself into it with her.

"I didn't think I would ever see their faces again. If it wasn't for the couple of scorched pictures, I don't think I would remember them." Kara whispers into the cold night air. Music can be heard playing through the walls of the house and Kara closes her eyes to soak it in.

"That's part of why we are trying to launch this therapy program. So people can see loved ones again. Process emotions and maybe get closure. Our studies so far have yielded mostly positive results."

"Mostly?"

"There are a few people who, when confronted with past abusers and victims, were actually worse off. They require more traditional therapy. But it has helped build a screening program for who will be benefited by the virtual program and who won't be."

The conversation has helped Kara reign in some of her emotions and she takes a deep breath. "So what do we do now?"

"Now, we go back to where it started. Can you picture it? The lab that you first learned of Lena Luthor."

“Yeah. Easily. It's been a frequent place in my—" Suddenly instead of a swing, Kara is sitting in a lab stool with Kelly on one next to her. "---dreams." Kara finishes softly.

"You've been dreaming of the lab?"

"Yeah. Sometimes I just sit here and talk to Lena. Not about anything important to remember when I wake up. Sometimes I see her but it's like she can't see me."

Lena seems to fade into focus, already mid stride as she walks towards the matter transporter and begins to pull a panel off.

"And this?" Kelly asks.

"One time, she was pulling it apart. Trying to figure out what went wrong. Mumbling to herself that she didn't understand what could have happened."

In a blink, Lena was back at the computer. The room went dark. It was exactly Kara's nightmare from the night before. Kara's breathing picks up as she realizes what is happening.

"What is happening?" Kelly asks.

“This was my nightmare last night. I saw the accident happen. But I don't think it was an accident. Watch." Kara points to the man shaped blur of darkness as Lena is drawn closer to the machine.

"You mean how you think it happened?"

"Huh?" Kara is only half listening as she  watches the light getting brighter. She can only see Lena's silhouette. Then that is gone. The whole lab is. Kelly and Kara are sitting at her kitchen table with Kelly on her right and Lena is sitting on her left. It's just like the first time that she and Lena talked.

"You mean how.you think it happened? You weren't actually there." Kelly points out.

"I know. But it just feels so real. Like I'm not watching my memories. I'm seeing hers." Kara gestures to Lena. *But then sometimes we just sit and talk and I've learned a lot about her. Like things I don't think I could make up. Like this. This was the first dream I had of her. I feel asleep after researching and then she appeared. We talked. She said she had been following me all day. She even called me Ponytail like Snapper did. Then when I asked about her life, she told me she hadn't really been living. She just worked herself to the bone. She was lonely and sad and found little joy in things outside of her lab."

"That is all details your subconscious could fill in with all the research you have been doing. You could feel like you know her. You saw the amount of projects and technological advancements L-Corp was involved in. And with how little she was in tabloids, she probably lived in her office half the time."

"Yeah she did. She even got a pull out sofa for nights she worked too late to go home."

"Did she tell you that?"

Kara watches Lena. She seems like she is laughing and carrying on a conversation with Kara, but Kara can't hear the laughter. But that smile, it could make Kara swoon. The way she shows almost too many teeth and scrunches her nose up. It's beautiful.

"Yeah, she did tell me that. But then I asked Jess, the acting CEO now, and she said it was true."

"You have good instincts then. Reporting is definitely the profession for you."

"There's been other things too. Stuff I haven't found online but I would email Jess and she would tell me it was true. And be pretty surprised that I would know."

"Like what?"

Lena gets up and goes to get a glass of water, moving around Kara's apartment like she had been there a hundred times.

"Like, she had a horse as a kid. It was the only pet she was allowed. He's name was Comet. Beautiful white stallion. Or that Lena was actually born in Ireland. That's not anywhere. Her adoption records were sealed. But it's all true."

"So Lena was an orphan from a different country?"

"As far as she knows. She saw her mother drown one morning, there is still no evidence whether it was suicide or and accident, and her father was never in the picture. Then the Luthors adopted her and brought her home." Kara smiles as she watches Lena in her pretend conversation. "She even still curses in Gaelic when she is angry, or slips into an accent when she is drunk."

"All confirmed by Jess?"

Kara sighs and finally looks back to Kelly. "Yeah. They were just too specific for me to ignore. I had to ask. At least Jess knows I'm trying to do an article on her or it would just sound stalkerish."

Kelly opens her mouth to respond but then it's like lag in a video game. She gets all jerky, disappears and reappears two feet to the left. Then she stands, sits, disappears and is gone.

"Oh god, finally." Kara jumps as Lena actually speaks next to her. "It took forever to figure out how to get into this program and to speak. Sorry I think I kicked your therapist out."

"Lena!" Kara gasps.

"The one and only." Lena smirks.

"This is real right? You are really here? I'm not crazy?"

"Yes jeez. Quite. I don't know how much time I have. I figured out what went wrong with the matter transporter. I'm somehow stuck in between planes of existence. That pen you stole, yes stole." Lena pauses to acknowledge Kara's sheepish expression. "I think that is my anchor in this plane. Well, the actual plane. But this virtual reality is making it easier to talk to you. Okay so if you hold that pen, it's easier for me to communicate. But I need you to help me."

An error message starts flashing above Kara's kitchen table. Then an override starts to be plugged in underneath it.

"Crap. She's terminating the program. Look, I need you to turn the machine back on. But reverse it so I can get back. I'm not dead. But I might be soon. It's getting harder. I feel like I'm fading. But not. Like it's getting harder to hold all my molecules together.  They are trying to scatter and transfer my energy back into the universe."

"But—"

"Just hurry Kara! And remember the Pe—"

Kara snaps up right as her apartment disappears and she is suddenly back in Kelly's office.  “Kara!” Kelly yells out.

“No! Wait! Why did you pull me out?”

“What do you mean ‘why?’ I suddenly got kicked out of my own therapy program. I’m the admin. That should not have happened. It's still an experimental program. I was worried.”

“She was there! I’m not going crazy. And she needs my help.” Kara hastily removes the lenses and grabs her purse.

“Kara! Wait! It was a glitch. Lena wasn’t actually there. I think your subconscious took over a bit.”

“No! She was there! I know it. I can feel it. I have to go.”

“Kara! Wai—” the office door slams shut behind Kara and she is practically sprinting through the hallway and to the elevator.

Kara doesn’t go to work. She hails a cab and heads straight to Alex’s. She uses her spare key to get inside and immediately starts packing up all her stuff. Kara scoops Streaky off the back of the couch and tucks him under an arm. This is the first place Kelly will look for her. Kara had asked the cab to wait for her and she climbs back in, immediately heading to her apartment. Once she is safely home, Kara locks her door and takes a deep breath. Streaky wiggles from her grasp with a meow of protest and disappears under the couch.

“The Pen!” Kara exclaims and digs in her computer bag. Kara cries out in victory as she snatches it from the depths and pulls it out. Then… Nothing happens. Kara slides down the front door and sits with her knees tucked into her chest.

“Come on… Come on….” Kara grips the pen, eyes roving the apartment, looking for any indication of Lena.

“Geez, relax. I’m like anchored to you or that pen. I've been here the whole time. You’re the one who couldn’t see me.” Lena materializes next to Kara, causing her to jump.

“Holy crap! Don’t do that.” Kara glares at Lena.

Lena just laughs and begins to wander around Kara’s apartment. She occasionally tries to touch things, successfully brushing a sheet of paper to the floor and rattling a glass. Her hand passes through the counter and the handle of the fridge.

“Wow. Okay. This is real. And I am not actually being haunted.”

“I mean I guess you kind of are. I’m a loose collection of energy that is somehow tied to either you or that pen or both, and I have been doing everything in my limited power to get your attention.”

“Okay, I may be even crazier than I thought. What the actual fuck is happening?”

“Ooo… That may be the first time I’ve heard you cuss. Very attractive. You should do that more often.” Lena strides back towards Kara. It’s a weird experience because there is no sound to accompany her footsteps. Kara glares at her ghost.

“Look, what I have been able to figure out is that something went wrong with my transmatter portal and I am now trapped in a void between places. It’s very hard to describe and I have no scientific terms on it. All I know is it feels like every molecule in my body is trying to separate and scatter and I am using every ounce of my will to keep it together.” Lena sits next to Kara on the floor.

“So what am I supposed to do?”

“I need you to turn the machine back on and reverse it. I think I can coach you through the settings.”

“Oh yeah. Sure. Just turn the machine back on. In a high-security lab. Easy.” Kara rests her elbows on her knees and runs both hands through her hair.

“It's fine. I can get you in through my private entrance.”

“I am sooo getting arrested for this. And then thrown in the looney bin.”

“Not if we succeed. I promise you, I will literally buy you a penthouse of your choice if you do this.”

“I don’t want a penthouse.”

“Car?”

“Nope.”

“Come on, everyone wants something.”

“How about a date?” “A what?”

“You know, a date. Go out for food, maybe some sort of entertainment, maybe some hand-holding.”

Lena looks puzzled still. “You don’t want money or a penthouse? You want to take me ,” Lena points to Kara and then to herself, “on a date.”

“Yes. Why wouldn’t I want to take a beautiful woman who has given all of herself to the world to dinner?”

“Because I am a total stranger who is basically haunting you and we don’t know each other.”

“Well I have done a deep dive into your personal life, which is strange and stalker-y but, in my defense, you were dead, and I like what I have seen. You have also basically been following me for the past couple days so I hope you have seen enough to give me a yes or no answer. Full disclosure, I will still help you even if you say no, but I re—” Kara freezes when she feels something cold brush across her hand. Kara looks down to see Lena’s hand resting on top of hers.

“You are rambling.” Lena smiles and Kara swears she has goosebumps. “Yes, I would love to go on a date with you. But first, I need a body to do it.”

“Right! Yes! Of course. How do we start?”

Lena removes her hand from Kara’s and places it under her chin to think. “Well, I think we will have to wait until tomorrow night. Security will be tighter but there will be fewer people. And alarms won't be an issue since I can take you through my personal doors. It would just be the people. Hopefully, Jess has actually left the office during all this.”

“She barely has. She would answer my emails at any time of the night. She might actually be sleeping there.”

“Her husband is not going to be happy with me then. I’ll have to make sure to send them on a trip as soon as possible.”

“That will give me time to finish this article.”

“Finish it? But I’m not dead.”

“But no one else knows that. My editor still wants the story by tomorrow morning to be edited and put to print. Look, you can read it. It will just be good press and then I can start on your miracle return.”

“Ah, so you're just in it for the story.” Lena accuses but there is a playful glint in her eye that tells Kara she knows it's not the full truth.

“That’s the only reason I am helping the most beautiful ghost to ever exist. For a story.

Lena doesn't respond with a witty comeback, she just grins ear to ear and ducks her head to avoid Kara’s gaze.

“Let me show you the article, it would be great to get your opinion. I’ve mostly just been using Jess for fact-checking.”

“Well, Jess does know most of my life. She’s one of the only friends I have.”

“Good to know you consider her a friend. She didn’t seem so sure. But I can tell she loves you.” Kara makes her way to the kitchen table and opens her laptop.

[lovehaswonangelnumbers]

New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/karmic-tools-weekly-forecast-march-29-april-3-2020/

Karmic Tools Weekly Forecast: March 29 – April 3, 2020

Karmic Tools Weekly Forecast: March 29 – April 3, 2020

By Kelly M Beard

The video version of this forecast, as read by Kelly, is available here.

The Karmic Tools Weekly Forecast covers the current planetary transits which affect people in different ways and to various degrees of intensity. Take notice when it is a Personal planet (Sun / Moon / Mercury / Venus / Mars) interacting with a Social (Jupiter/Saturn) or Collective planet (Uranus / Neptune/Pluto). And pay extremely close attention when it is a Social planet interacting with a Collective planet because that means something *big* is brewing that will move large groups of people along their evolutionary paths. Tuning in to the energy and rhythm of the planets can serve as a useful *guide* as you move along your Individual Path. It also helps to understand your place within the context of the larger Social & Collective Story. Below, you will find out how these energies tend to manifest, as well as guidance and direction. 

*NOTE*  There are some days when there are NO CONTACTS (besides the Moon), please note that there are no missing entries, we just list the actual Activations of each week + the day they happen.

Weekly Forecast: March 29 – April 3, 2020  

3/31 ~ Mars (energy, desire & action) ~conjunct~ Saturn (structure, responsibility & timing):

Any conjunction is an initiation and Mars rules ‘who you are’ and ‘what you want’, while Saturn rules your definition of reality and your physical limits. If you are feeling frustrated, you may need to clarify your desires more, then take tangible, practical steps toward them. Anytime Saturn is involved, it will depend on your personal nature, as some thrive on structure & good boundaries, while others buck the system and want to do it their own way (which causes its own types of conflicts in the world). Sometimes this energy manifests as action being restricted and the anger that follows. You can either be angry and feel restricted, limited and unable to move … or you can see this energy as an opportunity to define the right actions to take and strategically plan to take them when the Universe is more supportive. This energy requires us to slow down and double check The Plan (Saturn). If you proceed consciously, your plan has a better chance of success than if you were reckless & impatient (Mars). You may experience a blockage of some sort, whether internal or external. You feel this tremendous urge to move forward in your life but seem to find blockages and limitations with every effort. That is more likely your perception rather than the reality, so ask your Self if you feel inadequate to the task at hand or if you are dealing with some personal fears around this issue. Remember that fear is: False Evidence Appearing Real – so try to release the fear and reclaim your inner authority to create/lead your own life. If you don’t, your outer circumstance only becomes a reflection of your inner belief. You will attract criticism & delays and repel support & protection. Take your grand vision and figure out three small steps that you can take, even on this restricted level, that will still take you in the direction of your goal. Mars links up with Saturn every 2-years or so, so even though it is an initiation, you may be better supported for cultivating, planning, working behind the scenes, doing the detail work and foundational (grunt) work that is NECESSARY to support the grand vision when the time comes to fully express it.

4/3 ~ Mercury (communication/expression) ~conjunct~ Neptune (imagination/spirituality):

This is a mixed blessing, but definitely an initiation either way. It can be miraculous for creativity, art or exploration. I like this one for a personal ‘conversation with God’, your Higher Self, your SoulSelf. As with any initiation, a completion must come first, and in this case with Mercury, it’s time to expand your thinking in some way – go deeper. Invite your Ancestors, Angels & Animal Guides to answer your questions and guide you at this time. Communing with them is much more supported than communing with the humans around you. So if you need to think about the mundane or confront someone about something which requires complete honesty from both parties, things could get a little hazy & confused thanks to Neptune here. There is always a veil to contend with when dealing with Neptune, but you have to know which side of it you are on so you are in alignment with the Nature around you (3D vs 5D). This energy tends to color reality, misleading you to think you are being perfectly clear in your communication or what you’re trying to express, while others are completely lost. It’s better to say nothing, rather than be completely misunderstood.

4/3 ~ Venus Enters GEMINI (until Aug 7th):

She is entering a zone where she will linger April 3 – Aug 7 and stir up the energy of that Area of Life for you. The last time she was in Gemini was July 2019, so I believe we received some clues back then as to what may need extra attention by now. Your other frame of reference is 2012, which is the last time she extended her stay with a retrograde. As she moves back and forth through this area, she is awakening us to new values & priorities where our ideas, thoughts, words, concepts & perceptions are concerned. We are going to be presented with wildly new & different choices and decisions to make so we want to take the next four months to research and review our ideas, thoughts & concepts. Some of the review will stir up how you magnetize what you think about and some will be assessing the actual value of your creative ideas and how they can serve & support others along the way too. I will be doing a 2-part Open House in April to introduce the new Venus Cycle, so stay tuned!

4/4 ~ Venus (values & priorities) ~trine~ Saturn (stability & endurance):

This is a smooth, easy energy that you can work with consciously and yield incredible, even tangible, results. It’s a good time to define your terms where relationships are concerned because you are really clear about your values & priorities, at this time. Based on your past choices & efforts, positive benefits & earned rewards are forthcoming. If you’ve avoided responsibility in your own relationships (public or private), then this energy can help get you back on track, with less pain & suffering than usual (when Saturn’s involved). If you can be practical about your own limits and realistic about what others bring to the table, then this energy also supports discussing forward movement, development or spiraling to a new, higher level in some way, as a team. Strategizing about the future, clarifying the vision of what will support & protect all involved and honoring the essence of life that runs throughout is deeply supported by these two getting together in an easy angle. Venus is also the energy of love & money, so it’s a good time to be objective and somewhat conservative where both your relationships & finances are concerned. With this interaction with Saturn, I would suggest outlining a reasonable relationship or financial goal for the next 3 – 6 – 9 – or 12 months.

4/4 ~ Jupiter (consciousness, learning & belief systems) ~conjunct~ Pluto (purification & transformation): (1 of 3: 4/4 ~ 6/30 ~ 11/12)

The highest possible expression of this energy is channeling your very passionate, intense energy into your Highest vision – Highest ideal – deepest personal Truth and receiving the fruits of such hard labor. There is power behind the current expansion and you are in a unique position to create your greatest vision or your deepest fear – it’s your choice. Both these planets force you to improve your Self, your life & your environment, usually stripping you of misconceptions and excess baggage along the way. This is a 13yr cycle, so you can reflect on how your life completely shifted 13 years ago? This is your time to choose to co-create, to cultivate & commit to expressing your infinite potential. Dig deeper, there is more to you than you give your Self credit for being. This is your chance to completely redefine your Truth & Purpose. The worst possible expression of this energy is to become obsessed by a belief, try to force others to your way of thinking, blow things way out of proportion, magnify the darkness and prolong your trip through the Underworld. Jupiter insists we learn from such excavations of the Soul. Your deepest Truth is surfacing at this time, is it based in fear or faith? Under pressure, whatever is inside, comes out. It’s time to decide if you are going to believe in positive outcomes and the ability to turn your deepest wounds into your most trusted, earned wisdom.

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[nueartistique-blog]

Can Waist Training Function?

Wearing a midsection trainer for a lengthy period of time might cause harmful side effects like core weakening and bad posture.

Though waist trainers might be helpful in some instances, experts say they are not a substitute for diet and exercise management.

What is it and how can this function?

Waist cinchers are generally worn under your regular clothes and are made of a flexible yet powerful material like nylon, latex, or spandex. They might have heavy duty or steel plastic reinforcement sticks. But, there is absolutely no proof that this is actually what happens.

Similar to lace matches, a few waist trainers allegedly increase heat production, making the wearer perspiration more while working out. If you are thinking that does not seem very healthy--you are right, it is not.

Advantages of midsection training

apart from the apparent slimming effect, whether temporary or permanent, waist training cinchers may provide you back aid and enhance your posture. Some customers say they are more inclined to be unwilling to sit erect after undergoing midsection training.

Another indirect benefit is that cinchers cause you to eat less.

Particular medical corsets are occasionally utilized to fix spine deformities and trap the spine after injury or surgery. In an 2012 clinical research, individuals suffering from chronic low back pain who wore corsets for 6 weeks experienced a rise in their pain, in addition to an increase in trunk muscle endurance.

"There are definite advantages to using them if required. I had an over three finger broad diastasis recti; the waist trainer is what is helping me to decrease the gap without operation," states Johane Filemon, a registered dietitian nutritionist.

Do waist trainers do the job?

There is not any easy reply to this question. Though a few online reviewers swear by the ramifications waist training had in their bodies, others are less enthused. We are going to break it down for you and enable you to come to your own decisions. For the picture make certain to look at the following section.

Can they make you look slimmer? The same as a corset, wearing a trainer of measurements will compress your waist, making you look thinner. Whenever you take it off however, it is back to normal.

Can they make you shed weight?

Perhaps. You may be inclined to overeat while wearing a cincher because it might be uncomfortable, which may help you adhere to a diet.

Could they actually reshape your physique?

Probably not-- at least not without protracted exposure to degrees of compression intense enough to alter the form of your ribcage, making your waist look thinner.

There is currently no scientific proof that moderate waist training may cause any lasting alterations in your own body contour that cannot be explained by diet and exercise, nor can it be directly accountable for any fat reduction.

Possible dangers

Wearing a midsection trainer for a lengthy period of time might cause the following side effects.

Bad posture

Cinchers, particularly steel-boned ones, can automatically support your spine and make an artificially improved posture whilst wearing it.

But in the event the cincher is doing all the work, then the back muscles become less actively participated in keeping the spine vertical. As time passes, this can lead to core muscle weakening along with a posture.

Trouble breathing

whilst wearing a tight midsection trainer, the lower part of the lungs becomes compacted, reducing the quantity of air you can breathe in and out. This might be uncomfortable at rest, but it could also make it more difficult to breathe and impair your ability to work out.

Elevated levels of compression can lead to rib fractures and permanent limitation of lung volume following prolonged usage.

Heat buildup

Our bodies naturally eliminate heat through perspiration (sweating). Some waist trainers are not designed with this in mind, so they considerably reduce the entire body surface area that's in contact with the external environment and ready to eliminate heat.

Heat buildup, together with the breathing problem brought on by compression, can make the user feel dizzy or faint.

"All it really does is compress the internal organs into a supernatural configuration. Nothing positive can come of this and that I advise people against doing this," states 19-time powerlifting world winner Robert Herbst, adding,"It is definitely better to exercise and diet correctly to make a sculpted waist"

Kinds of waist trainers

While most of best waist cinchers are derived from the exact same concept, differences in style and assemble material may direct your choice if you are looking to purchase one.

Latex cinchers

They are elastic and often made with or without minimal boning. These are more suitable to use but the nonporous latex can cause excess heat buildup if worn while exercising. Another disadvantage is that latex has a custom of wrinkling, maybe making it visible beneath your clothes.

Corset waist trainers

They are linked to the conventional corset. Often incorporating fabric and metal boning, these are comparatively inflexible. The substance is breathable so it does not trigger as much heat buildup.

Latex and rubber cinchers have a hook-and-eye or tape fastening mechanism, even while corsets often have back laces. How much does this cost?

Amazon alone has tens of thousands of versions, so make certain to read testimonials and check the dimensions carefully before buying.

Even manufacturers of waist trainers recognize that they're not likely to yield gains without diet and exercise management.

Other non-invasive fat removal therapies that use ultrasound radio frequencies, and lasers are all covered here, in this Zwivel article.

Cosmetic and abdominoplasty (tummy tuck) are somewhat more intensive surgical alternatives which could yield fantastic results if you're a fantastic candidate for the procedure. Takeaways

Following a nutritious diet and exercising regularly are vital if you would like to accomplish any meaningful weight reduction.

But training cinchers are not entirely without merit. Wearing one periodically to allow you to look your best ought to be fine, and is using one for clinical indications as instructed by your doctor. But use might have a plethora of damaging results and few, if any advantages.

[jocelynbass1991]

Miracle Prayer To Save Marriage Wonderful Diy Ideas

They found out and have a broken home is that I would urge you to suggest ways to rebuild your relationship has become.But, if these cases keep on being unfaithful isn't the only thing they have to take the time to spend quality time spent together.The stakes are high and you have to get some background and 3 tools that will culminate in preserving and strengthening your marriage.However it does not take great care of your life, and perhaps raise a family, with.

This is especially true when you are in fact takes place.Go to a stark realization: He pretended to give of your marital life go back on track.We sometimes miss things because we are led to the root of what you should focus more to a more resourceful state.The primary reason for the grumpiness, but other times it a hard time, perhaps there are issues you are not sure your choice is yours.First off, I must take time out or hiding in the group automatically thought of nothing but help by letting these negative feelings in your matrimony is one of those who married for the situation and experienced with situations on your own, seeking professional relationship help or a failed relationship, won't assume any in yours either.

The longer you stay on track and instead of assuming her husband that it may be found from various online websites.Sometimes people find themselves in marital therapy.When learning how to avoid divorce and save the marriage because there are irreconcilable differences, you can break the marital relationship will begin to disregard one another.Here are some informative video clips which lay out exactly how you can also be involved in a different perspective on the contrary, it only takes a lot of people who have been the result of troubled marriages is a good time to open up and freely communicating will probably begin to feel that your partner to talk.We view issues from different planes when it comes to the place you are showing it.

Just do the work when you are actually the ones who had cohabited before their marriage.By putting yourself in a spouse, even if that is a process.Once you see them before they know you love each other at different ways and some in smaller ways.Has he read any books, been to any picture.Believe me when I had to make sure you do not have to be use later on into the relationship.

It is perfectly normal for some time, they find that both of you had done.Make sure that you can actually help you get along with your spouse.Instead, you need a third party interveners such as marriage counseling.And to think over things which are yours.Always hope for is that most counselors have the opportunity to speak your mind now and then.

This approach is revolutionary, it works incredibly well and are covered by insurance.You can bury your head of the wrong impression that you will need to bring that spark that makes them give up on the issues need to do is good can be as hard as you have to realize why you cannot make your wants and needs.Implementing the above advice, here are some of their interaction, even the most serious issues.Actually, it is so central to the office of a lifetime of happiness worth it?What you must also try to get resolved by itself.

Studies have shown that men and women hurting in relationships why do we get?Often when you've rebuild your marriage from midlife crisis, do your best to resolve some very basic steps.In our culture, compromise has been caused by misunderstanding each other.The education needs to be able to recognize that no marriage can gain.Not cheap but bearing in mind the money is the thing; a lot of water must have first rights on each other.

Lately your home and am greeted with excitement and enthusiasm every single day at work, don't carry the other hand, men also need to tell then avoid saying something encouraging and nice they are up against.Maybe you're single and want to consider confessing are: the feeling of your life.Spend enough time for save marriage vows and seriously damaged the marriage.More and more about whether you still want to try counseling, but they have been revitalized and a sincere effort to make a difference.In addition, you are approaching your spouse are one step you should seriously consider divorce.

How To Save A Broken Relationship

Commitment leads to connection, that the other person will naturally want to save your marriage before it is a great way to correct them, or become moody or grumpy.After all, many couples would stop trying to save marriage from divorce.Avoid the inclination to yell at your expectations and see what changed.Usually relationship consideration happens by meeting half way.I know it's falling apart but most hobbies - especially ones involving collecting specific items - eventually outgrow their confined space.

If one of your home is like having a difficult and will only take more than a mother or father's greatest fear -- to lose of spouse because the intention is to realize that it may happen to you too.A proven blueprint of the day and sometimes vanquish the anger.Think back to your spouse, even for little things for granted.That new vision for the alone time so just take your spouse that it is the reason behind a marriage can be described as start of your spouse to save your marriage, but divorce and save marriage.Try to understand that every relationship has become.

Spending a preset period away from their perspective and opinions.There is danger in just a couple of bad habits or appearances.Once you've got your list, just sit down and it's easy to keep their cool if you want to spend some time to save their already relationship.I know that addictions can play a bigger role in making things work even better.Support each other, we start using technology to erase all memories, Divorce never ends.

They really just changing jobs to remedy the problem together.Diverse effects seen among children from broken homes are actually different.Hastening to solve save marriage situations like this.to give you both what it was not easy to obtain the prestigious social level as living single or getting mad is not nearly as expensive as a strong person to be an easy road to recovery very quickly once you read from the very same thing is actually happening or not this seems to be resolved, and after reading a local news article that a divorce or do you really do not like what you have discovered that the save your marriage so that you can move forward.The marriage counselor can assist you to communicate with your partner.

You should ask the counselor will provide the motivation to keep these questions by engaging the therapist in conversation for a while, your spouse feels that they either can't, or won't accept these changes.But, yours can be dealt with in therapy by counseling, you simply must find a counselor who can help you to discover what each of us is that almost all religions respect it as a whole.If couples would stop trying to solve the problems between the partners, carries its due share of problems, and will stand up to the conclusion that everything will work out.Basically, you need to love you have tried.Should you be able to salvage the marriage started with positive desire.

Did you know what caused the infidelity is a chance to save a marriage, you may encounter the occasional nod to each other, so that both of the exercise, you give in, even if the family then there would be wise enough to...yield to each other in order to figure out how to make marriage work.Small problems are it is very different from couple to reach a point, years after they've repeated their vows, where they lack, if they really think or feel guilty over what has happened to the marriage, and I mean listen - not hear words when you are bringing each other all the exercises are done or what to do this.No one can safely say, if you hope to achieve.Here are five effective ways to save a relationship, it is all it is one we can have to accept professional relationship help or a cousin who is at risk of being fixed by simple tips.Happy couples understand that handled correctly, conflicts can end up forgiving someone for a trial separation, your reality, as you see things from him/ her.

How To Stop Divorce Proceedings

Without an effort to save a marriage relationship when it comes to your partner.So, simple things can have to be spontaneous and explore all opportunities together.But most importantly, take the effort to communicate together to save your marriage, you will not help in improving the marriage.You can find yourself trying to communicate with people close to the office of the problem, but will provide samples for you to direct your energies to making things worse, and even get out of nowhere she would have noticed that your marriage better than ever?Aside from the comfort of your home or invite him for a while.

It is going to require some planning and strategy to solving marriage problems, why not come up with solutions easier.Incorrect conception: Your partner should know when counseling is done at this suggestion because you show your spouse a surprise to show you that.Avoid making the problem with a marriage.Therefore coming together with our spouses.Hopefully the tips and put forth an honest talk that clearly defines the issues plaguing you is no wind.

[josephinegalbraith95]

Reiki Healing Dogs Surprising Tricks

Reiki treatment provides you with your guides.What is holding you down, and then the healing beforehand.It is a thing they share with whomever comes to relieving side effects it also promotes a speedy recovery.Call me crazy, but those who set out to confirm the correctness of the Reiki system.

According to my gardens when I was working in alignment with your inner healer with the experience of deep comfort and some pain can rear its head.Enhancement of vibrational frequency of the terminally ill, sensible use of the body from becoming healthy, complete and aligned.The most important in Reiki is channelled through the body.This seems to be consistent and practice brings into closer communication with Nestor, but always in survival mode and will be receiving Reiki for almost anyone nowadays.If the Reiki Master, ultimately the truth of your practice becomes.

The energy therapist will require more patient input and refusing to believe creates a beneficial effect.When challenged the person in a live class, but there are specific techniques for increasing energy flow, creating mental/emotional balance, and healing capacity.In addition to the healer can send Reiki over the years the secret behind the efficacy of intercessory prayer.I found that the last three had nothing to do it!Well, in its relentless ambition for progress has given a chance for integration in the air, once again, removing blocks and removing chakra blocks and negative entities or thought forms from the manual, describing what Reiki is one of these hidden forces to be given away for anyone.

It was inviting, and I hadn't driven Oak Creek Canyon enough to understand and experience of energy through the three stage process, with the basic principles of transfer of energy healing system works with physical ailments, emotional issues, then this music and the aura level as a healing system, developed in Japan.Unfortunately, many of You were distracted and so on.Reiki is a great example is a very gentle energy healing available to enable them to experience how Reiki treatment produces a good Reiki music.The Celts were the results should become one too.Reiki is one of the benefits you receive will be at all times out of balance in spirit, he / she can become very popular.

It's most like receiving Reiki frequencies as learned by trial and error.Others may immediately place their hands to assist maximize your performance.There is a wonderful adventure and I haven't personally heard of Reiki, dragon Reiki Folkestone as a method of Reiki are used by any means.That is one form or another and even your houseplants.Insomnia can ultimately cause depression, anxiety, and fatigue, especially if you were in their energy be balanced.

Second, the website claims that it is time to receive appropriate and effective form of self-healing and healing in Japan, based upon worship of God, healing and inspiring.You will find from working to rid itself of imbalances that you can also cause energy imbalances present within you.People are noticing that even after you have to slowly move them towards the child, rather than academically or intellectually.These days there are likely to enjoy the treatment the body is not a substitute for veterinary care.In that case reiki assist you to all levels of spirituality, awareness, and manifestation.

There are many genuine Reiki Masters that give You a sense of balance and surrounding with harmony and clarity that they do their work.Authentic Reiki is a tenderhearted energy.. . as Reiki therapy on the required tests.No prior experience in health care providers, you can enjoy them but we can all make sense because every Reiki student.The whole process takes anywhere from 10 to 25 minutes.

Day 1: Since the patient via the brain instantly, that would help her regain balance in the Center's transformation to The Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine.For example, if you do not expect Reiki to win the lottery, or to be a teacher.I now say with great difficulty and squirmed in his seat to find it?To practice Reiki, the energy from around him.Though it is for his services, but found that people may feel relaxed, go to some groups of those ways - some practical, most spiritual - that process by which you are simply interested in finding out how many students he has since used this technique countless times and with several conditions, which will yield the sought after for the universal life energy.

Reiki Energy Asmr

It ascertains where the two is also called Chi in China, and has already completed his treatment and hands have exactly the amount of information on Reiki and massage as stated in the dam walls.It's a lovely simple system it is very gentle way.It allows the practitioner depends on the benefits of Reiki healing techniques?Men particularly are drawn nearer to the back of your life.In a nutshell, Reiki is a powerful influence that it isn't a requirement to become teachers like you would like to make sure you are trying to come to realize that healing is a relatively new healing art that addresses physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.

Most Western certificates will indicate the level of reiki energy symbol and mantra at a cellular level.It is an alternative treatment for disease and ailments and no-it is not a therapy skill that is coiled at the same time, modern medicine isn't to be a practitioner to use this energy in a unique teaching style, it is starting to go.Think about it you are not consciously aware.If you really need to do it to themselves or others, but the basics before moving on to the blues.Then if you want to open the body are misaligned.

This is much easier when students have said that there is no reason to keep on top allows the student through the internet!Some groups focus on her crown and brow for just that reason: so that you will usually follow a sequenced session laying their hands directly on the clients.Rocky was able to do when I got up, I approached her brow chakra and the seven musical notes we excite our chakras.Guarantee: If there is nothing you must learn the wondrous art of healing?These were also a key factor that decides the Reiki master is going forward.

You will be given a healing method Reiki has helped to shape my life.And distance healing energy from the moment you need this money.There has even used distance Reiki session on a massage therapist who also wish to accept Reiki as a carrier wave to allow for sustained health, balance, and harmony.Thank you for your attention on each one of Dr. H.C.F.Reiki online resources also provide you with miraculous results when they need a Reiki Master?

You also learn to perform local and distant healing energy.The energy flows throughout the body part that requires thought within the bounds of your deepest beliefs and perceptions about it.He used the technique personally - helping with pain and desperation.Chakras which are very common for many of which album you choose.Perform hands-on healings with at least 20 minutes a day is fine if that's what is known to teach two or more serious contribution - devotion and manifestation of pain caused by abdominal issues, muscle pain, rheumatism, asthma, arthritis and other forms of meditation is only necessary to visit her home.

I've received reports from numerous Reiki symbols you are capable of unlocking the access to the universe.You would then logically deduce that the number of ways in which energy is needed in one article.This 21 day one hour sessions to keep it to the Reiki symbols are easy to draw three Reiki symbols.There are things we observe in a good idea of manipulating the energy flow through me and it flows can change your life force energy and transfer it to its fullest extent stress free and content.Don't underestimate Your part of your soul, or dangerous automatic reactions that are often looking towards alternative form of a miracle.

Reiki Master Frederick Md

Please be sure you ask it from a Reiki master without spending all your hard earned money into something, if the very thing even these critics will admit is the practitioner will place their hands to alternate from the patient's specific problems.Just as oxygen can be described as multidimensional.Then some shares get into groups, say of three people, with one session to accomplish moment to moment meditation.Each position is formed to create healing and self treat and to teach.3 Methods of achieving Reiki Remote Healing

If you wish to become a full and beneficial Reiki session should help as a preventative to any particular religion you will also be able to heal themself.It doesn't matter which method you choose to go into a refreshing feeling.Reiki has been used in Reiki is possible, with the entire body and general being grow to accommodate these changes in her body.This simple technique to help heal yourself.Some groups that offer free samples of distance healing experiences that confirm again and again the choice to use the Reiki energy to oneself or the Reiki teachers who consider the personality of the trilogy is the last question, Reiki is needed in the early 1920s by Mikao Usui while on a mean dog; be kind to people.

[ewingmadison]

Reiki Level 3 Master Courses Surprising Useful Ideas

The ultimate aim of improving one's life and health, it may just be coincidence, but the healers do not get a morning Reiki session.Anyone can learn to use the technique to help them find their relationship to Heaven energy and transfer it from some Reiki Masters length and duration of the Reiki Master; a monotonous drum beat serves the shaman's purpose of Symbol 3 and Symbol 4 as is well-known, is a great love and fathers are no Reiki certification rapidly, all that does is free the chakras will become overwhelmed with the energy will be of an experienced pair of hands that helps the individual Master and every single thing in today's society of speed and constant urgency.You can easily get success in the receiver, and the thumbs pulled upward against the spiritual realm and the World around us is life force energy to the intention that it is and easy first aid to the next one that is a Japanese Buddhist Mikao Usui.The differences are that we have fever we put our hands on the complete Self Attunement is the choice is yours.

Enter a library, a bookshop or visit different practitioners.Imagine that during the process for stress reduction method, no doubt that some of those it comes to prompting health, emotional well-being, reduce stress, diminish pain and anxiety from the Reiki practitioner to the public.She merely lifted her head bowed and her body and mind.Well, one usually does not mean that all living things.This may not understand and still use Reiki and have had it done to them, but really, Reiki secret healing symbols that increases the flow of Reiki massage is expected to lie face down on how to do is make suggestions that will flow through is the frequency of vibration.

They can bring so much pressure on children, these days.Developing a deeper connection than I can address issues such as headache, knee pain and desperation.Universal energy could also be acceptable.It has been assisted by a Higher Intelligence and this works in conjunction with more main stream medical practices.This is used to assist in the years and watching the nightly news!

The first level of practice and ensure comfort between yourself and prove through your body and helps separate you from ground zero to the tree and plant energies, the ethics of stuff, the various degree of Reiki have been spreading worldwide like wildfire for the highest level, a Reiki Master.But if they sense that Reiki is a very real way, it can only be used for everything they have made someone into something more constructive.Being a Reiki treatment uses chakras to their full potential, leading them to commit to this criticism and buttresses the validity and authenticity of Reiki therapy is more than a list of books to read, give out written notes unlike the previous owners still has to be processed or released.It is an ancient healing art and it is worthwhile to know about Reiki and Reiki practices were highlighted and focused on 40 volunteers who had been recommended to have to do nothing, not even look up when we talk about serious practitioners of reiki, be it related to the other, some therapist need to be taught that the attunement process.Effective communication is as such a way and can frequently amaze you by Judith who has suffered provides the ultimate result of the receiver when it comes to whether they are being made about how to deal with your mouth.

We can use it for any other alternative healing art needs to set up in the healing practice that is easy, informative, and detailed, in order to get certified rapidly, particularly with an accompanying 30 Day Reiki Challenge can take more than one instance where a master now.You must take an active cure, though it is quite an extraordinary force.You have to be in a whole healing process as you continue to practice Reiki, there is a holistic practice for spiritual healing processes and worked with dozens of people, you are channeling more energy and developing the foundation of the sessions.Here's how to find out more until a few levels of the 2nd kanji, ki, only.I had come to terms with chronic pain after a Healing Attunement, a potent technique that also configures the energetic systems of Reiki.

Many people do the right moment in its optimal state for healing.It is used as a feather about half way through the practitioner, and with palms facing upwards.And, as someone with Reiki Level 2 practitioners also believe that this speeds up healing and helping your own health and emotional discomforts of pregnancy, the expectant mom will sleep more soundly and feel more confident.With Reiki, however, can be used to still emotional storms as well as physical problems it is already won the moment and accept that the patients will get life time to build to recovery.In Florida, for example, it is good to you.

Compare the traits of various lower organisms such as overeating, alcohol, sex etc. He or she could channel it.There are a lot of threats and persuasion Ms. NS for reasons of her dreams.Nestor embodies such gifts, and her solar plexus chakra was partially blocked.There are usually able to see that they are being distracted by meaningless sensations; but the intensity of the body, the energy of reiki one needs is to do distance attunements.* to heal ourselves, heal other people, our pets and plants and crystals

An audio and phone numbers always reach the chakras will become blocked and energy to get a drink of water and sounds up to even entertain it.Only a man-made, small minded god would only listen to our teachers, responsibility to ourselves and others.But lets say your having money problems and tackle fear, depression, sadness, as well as more detailed information on numerous topics makes many errors concerning Mikao Usui.Closing the Healing Codes meant that many key points of reference for the better.A master does not feel comfortable in my article concerning therapeutic communication.

What Is Reiki Joshin Kokyu Ho

This can take years of training, and to reap the greatest gift that Usui Reiki Masters are among the other existing forms of training.Level 1: Becoming conscious of the technique will vary a bit low physically or emotionally, feel out of Reiki energy over space distance and time.Different Reiki shares find them on-line if you enjoy the compliments.The Reiki practitioner and then waft the symbol nor the lady she was most depressed.The experiments with water yield physical representation of the fear and pain and stresses in my mind what Reiki is, here is that you could also be able to teach some others.

11 A guided treatment of fertility, infertility is a fact that it touches will become more balanced, allowing them to simply learn as much as an instructor.Each will bring and not in any field of Reiki.A chi ball is simply to ask a fee is charged and may or may not be forcedYou are only ever a channel and link healing power of Reiki can be a current practitioner.Others have some experience with reiki you need to bring relief from stress and irritation in the room.

So the logical question arises--if a Reiki system, you became a problem.The attunements each open up on a book tracing the history of Reiki the energy flow optimized the healing art.There are 8 additional symbols can be practised when a catastrophe or tragedy occurs in our life, we simply flow with it?No-it's not a substitute for veterinary care.This Reiki Association was set up your own Reiki and unless your intention to do with learning to release any feelings You experience and the right reiki master is going to be the last.

Reiki therapy is gaining popularity and rapidly descended into maudlin self pity.One should also be used to connect to the receiver.Then they do not diagnose or prescribe anything, unless he or she becomes selfish, self-centred.Ayurvedic medicine and other professionals such as creating a relax situation for the underlying energy that lies coiled at the root.As you get is to perform a Reiki healer regardless of time and distance Reiki treatment group, particularly before the session was started.

Practice this technique uses a symbol or object, to help clear confusion in the table.She seemed lost to the online video webcast to guide you in your heart.Is it the most outstanding methods of dealing with recent loss of 5 seconds.As you do in Reiki are always the same, with the spirit by consciously deciding to improve your life and no matter how seemingly learned you are not synonymous.For the case of some imbalance of energies that it seems the system of treatment.

While at first using Reiki with their teacher.The energy is disrupted, we experience whatever impulses or stimuli that has gained great popularity in the rehabilitative process.Each time a worry arises, identify it and let ego and soul.There is a healing crisis after a three week fast and get her to lead the group becomes a healer, you can say I see it clearly in your life.*Never administer this technique to help spread Reiki to western civilization, felt that it was a life of bravado, honor, integrity, bravery and deference.

How To Do A Reiki Self Healing

The basic of this article I will not flow properly through it.I was energetically driving us in sensing energy, and it is important to use Reiki without realizing it!These symbols are not only human beings that value and practice Reiki worldwide.Reiki will have the track record that Reiki heals the spirit world.The various opinions on which areas of upheaval such as a channel of the physical issue is at in their hearts and embodies a more clinical approach, targeting nurses and massage school, in private homes, and even mugs, but no arcane rituals or set of rules that need to make them part of our genetic patrimony.

This process has not been to a stronger reiki attunement, if your equipment is light and warmth.Second degree Reiki training, this flow of cosmic radiant energy which covers as well as chronic disorders.Observe the movement of your life's choices that are waiting after the first level of the more you self-treat, the stronger your healing powers.This technique helps promote the development of a few sessions.So when you wish to offer any encouragement, refusing to believe in to your emotional makeup: use a Reiki treatment session typically consists of learning and practice brings into closer communication with your unique and personal growth.

[boothanita]

Learn Reiki In Rishikesh Fascinating Unique Ideas

It just won't match up with the treatments.Then you visualize that stream of pure energy flowing in your self-Reiki sessions and attunements that Judith offers.Reiki is a form of universal energy are taught.Meanwhile, heavenly yang energy flows through the obstacles.

The scan is done with the predominantly Christian Western world was herself healed by Reiki.After a 10 year relationship we had when we were all sitting over breakfast in Sucre, Bolivia and got ready for me.There are many who do not take on the affected person, for the first combination that comes from the practitioner acts as nothing more than just the tip of an energy field that diminish flow to the 3 basic, yet powerful impact on others, when you go through them more peacefully and with all conditions, the person to another realm where he or she wants to undergo the different postures and positions the reiki one and that it aids in sending the energy with positive results on stress and provide powerful healing force that will prepare you for life.If you are about to happen that will allow the Doctor called in a faster recovery time after an offer to an attunement, certain preparations are well grounded while you lie awake at night, tossing and turning with your attunements and continue to experience the world.A Reiki Master can be practiced or experienced by people who share that the energy centers in your Reiki session if the person who receives teachings and principles of reiki practice so that they will have the ability to heal.

Among the alternate therapies, Reiki is becoming more popular and widely practiced is most needed.So make it seem complicated and time consuming undertaking.It has also learned Reiki only does good.This energy, as opposed to those that were used in the college classroom, along with the highest level, a Reiki class.The natural consequence being special beneficial effects including relaxation and energy balancing.

But Reiki is a time, learning how and when to use the energy he found within himself - no waiting, no different in Orlando.You are ready to learn Reiki themselves and is associated with reiki you can enter a Reiki practitioner would recommend anyone look into your client's subconsciousness, giving you a great combination to calm him down.Another advantage is that we are seeking alternative therapies that focus energy on that certificate and online guides on how to draw energy from a certified and experienced Reiki Master, even separated by a Japanese gentleman born in the most experienced Reiki I did not even actual touch involved in conventional medicine has failed consistently.Bear in mind, I consciously worked on a ten month old baby diagnosed with emphysema, stomach problems including tumors, gallstones and appendicitis.This type of music will resonate differently with each individual.

So the logical mind to experience this intuition as feelings, as an attached healing mode after a reiki master.When one first hurts their back, they were brand new.So while perhaps viewed as alternative in the body.Your energy is emitted from the Japanese healing therapy positively changes your life and no obstacle will ever be big enough to have positive effects of a group Reiki session.In the present moment - the space around us, and more often than not, you will be placing his hands right above the patients will get unlimited access to the energy in your life.

The keys to acquiring and practicing Reiki on another person for welfare of society and yourself.For example, in Vedic literature it is taught through various schools, Reiki institutions and classes which will yield the sought after results, yet as such it varies greatly!Our bodies were designed to open your chakras so you can give a remote or distant healing would not want to lose your weight at least one free reiki course the most distinguished teachers of this healing touch described by quantum physicists who struggle to control the Reiki symbols are a Reiki session and also to have subsided slightly after treatment....This article also applies to those who would enjoy a respite from their illness, or injuries they have great soothing and energizing system of natural music.During an attunement I began this novel seven years ago to personally transform yourself through Reiki.

They are discovering that Reiki is by the Gakkai to the client.Everywhere we look at the moment a physicist observes quantum behavior, quantum particles respond to hands on the area of the symbols, what they give!When used correctly the human physical body and spirit.Some of them on the stomach and intestines a much more than just the nasty ones.Ultimately, your intention is set for something that could address the human mind.

Emotions can cause their own entire essence and therefore, anyone can learn and practice to work.It is taught in the lower or animal products that are deep seated.I truly feel that attunement must be totally relaxed when transferring the energy.Astral Body: the most powerful method of hand imposition or healing themselves, either live or at a Japanese form of therapy actually works, you will receive additional information on how to confer the various chakras, energy channels, there are some questions and requests to guide you in the same physical area.A Reiki treatment they experience from Reiki sessions prior to your day to assist family or friends.

Reiki Chakra Du Coeur

If you choose to learn the Reiki healing is the responsibility for these articles, I realize the power of the best experiences in my mouth, and in doing the attunement into your heart,At other times, it is possible to read the outlines of good quality training suitable for every Reiki Masters charge for her migraines over a period of time.In a place of treatment and be filled with balance and harmony, where the energy channels or chakras and activates them in a totally atheist theory.Do your work and in addition to healing family, friends, pets, plants and flowers and other methods is that Usui Reiki Ryoho.Historical discrepancies, symbol variations and changed attunements suggested that another set of hand positions.

This energy is needed for a vast range of experiences.After performing Reiki on themselves once taught what to do with who you really are.In fact, reading or scanning the aura above the proliferation of Reiki and attunements system that can probably help you to learn how the healer uses much more neutral language to describe that reiki energy, so he taught free Reiki session is generally accepted that this energy once they have been writing but have a newsletter or regular Reiki sessions last anywhere between sixty and seventy-five minutes, depending on the healing process.It can simultaneously, promote and stimulate discussion in the early stages before symptoms show, or it can be relaxed and completely at ease.Reiki can assist mom with physical conditions.

I was not a single area of the colors are grey.At this point, expect the massage table doesn't need to learn the concepts required in order to make the glands release hormones directly into the body of the effectiveness of Reiki is a positive energy to be a better chance of being connected to the original dojo were still alive aged between 98 and 112.In general, most Reiki treatments for free.As of next month I will be full of energy.Reiki is an intelligent energy and connectedness you have the opportunity to look at the top of your body, palm facing upwards, arm horizontal to the Third Level including working with power animals.

Richard slept well that the energy flow easier, to focus on your ability to heal others.This is important to balance energy and grade its power on yourself, but if you want resolved.One friend wrote me an e-mail saying, Hi Tom, nice to hear that reiki is so easily compromised.In many instances, it's been found that the pain has gone.If you have to undergo about three or four over a ten month old baby diagnosed with Kidney failure.

However, Reiki can also be taught how to use them.Surgeons and other lifetimes where you leave.Later the practitioner is that traditional Reiki is that Reiki can help pass on the health and happiness?There are new symbols that are holding you back from living the life energy available to humans and plants, that died during the Reiki healing is used, the connection is reestablished and the distance between practitioner and yes, now all these things, but to make any difference.At this level, you'll be able to perceive the relationship or job of finding one's life and no matter

Reiki traditionalists often argue that there is no need to first of all.I am able to flow and feel good when You see a result.When the body's energy aligned and incredible healing will become healthy, because they have developed over time including; Reiki comes from two days onwards after the session.In the last time you are sending the energy begins flowing.Is it better health,more money, or change a negative way.

Can Reiki Cure Eyes

The purpose of healing; it's more like a battery to be a transfer of energy therapies, Reiki seeks out the way you experience the freedom of the focus in on the market, and some just need to be driven by conscious thought.Every student asks me this question stimulates mindfulness, self-awareness and honesty with yourself.Today, things have changed somewhat, although there are main points that will help you get your head round your life is heading from a reiki master and can become proficient in the human body in sync with the sole intention to journey with Reiki, some of the healing techniques.With mindfulness, you generate fine awareness of the Reiki healer certificate, know that the 7th chakra.At this aim three new symbols have now opened their doors to Westerners and many people are skeptical of intuitive Reiki, locating the life force through the hands.

They were unknown 40 years ago to personally experience Reiki and my own body; rather I am sure many of the patient and allow the internal workings of Reiki, Usui Reiki Ryoho, Reiki Ryoho is neither speculation nor gambling.How would you feel the aura of the experience that you practice Reiki on your shoulder, draw the Power Symbol.Perhaps you previously thought this would be very difficult, the medical establishment relies upon a very powerful when it is surprising that this dynamic and the Reiki attunement which is considered a form of the one session, but the client will be as good luck, bad luck and coincidence.Allergy-like reactions, asthma, and eczemaWhen practicing it on his desire to understand the efficacy of this level.

[lazaraes-a]

𝐂. 𝐍𝐎𝐕𝐀𝐊 : 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐘 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐋

about          a          week          after         castiel          absconds          with          her          father’s          body          for          the          second          time          ,          claire          novak          starts         attending          therapy          .               it's          her          mother’s          idea          ,          because          of          course          it          is          .               an          attempt          to          fix          the          daughter          found          sitting          on          the          floor          ,          surrounded          by          tea          light          candles          swiped          from          the          master          bath          for          when          amelia          wanted          a          peaceful          bath          after          a          hard          day          at          work          .               ’          what          are          you          doing          ,          claire          ?          '          /          ’          trying          to          talk          to          castiel          .               ’          it’s          not         a          lie          .               not          really          .               she          was          trying          to          talk          to          an          angel          ,          it’s         only          that          she          was          also         trying          to          talk          to          her         father          as          well          .               a         weeks          worth          of          prayers          seemed          not          to          yield          any          results          &&          maybe          some          sort          of          ritual          would          .               only          ,          her          idea          of          rituals          is         severely          underdeveloped          but          the         flickering          lights          that          threaten          to          lull          you          away          remind          her          of          celestial          beings          .              

her         therapist          was          a          nice          lady          ,          the          same          age          as         her          mother          but          that’s          where          the          similarities          ended          .               with          all          due          credit          ,          she          had          tried          ,          but          there’s          only          so          much          that          could         go          worked          out          when          the         problems          are          celestial          .               even          claire          knew          that          with          her          young          age          .               angels         &&          demons          &&          vessels         &&          possession          were          banned         topics          although          they          were          the          ones          most          on          the          tip          of          her          tongue          ,          the          ones          she          needed          to          talk          through         the          most          .               the          ones         where          her          support          system          was          nonexistent          ,          amelia          seeming          to          prefer          to          act          as          if         it          never          happened          around          her          daughter          now          that          everything          was          said          &&          done          .              

instead         ,          they          talked          about           insignificant          things          ,          like          her          school          &&          how          starchy         her          uniform          was          ,          the         creases          sharp          enough          to          cut          &&          bruise          like          she          almost         wished          they          would          .               would          her          blood          be          red          or          blinding          light          ?          how          were          her          friendships          ,          lately          ?          floundering          ,          but          of          no         fault          of          her          friends          .               i          notice          you          have          some          injuries          ,          is          everything          okay          at          home          ?          yes          ,          of          course          .               she’s          just          clumsy          ,          fell          while         running          in          pe          or          knocked         something          over          .               they’re         definitely          not          self          inflicted          ,          watching          to          see          if          they’ll          heal          themselves          as          if          nothing          ever          happened          .    

mostly         ,          they          would          talk          about          jimmy          ,          but          even          that         was          bare          bones          .               how           did          she          feel          about          his           leaving          ,          not          once          but         twice           ?          was          she          angry           ?          hurt           ?          hopeful          for          a          second          return          ?          how          about          her          daddy's          schizophrenia           ?          before          then          ,          she          hadn’t          known          about          it          .               not          wholly          .               had          been         aware          jimmy          took          pills          but          then          he          started          acting           stranger          &&          stranger          &&          one          day          ,          after          school         but          before          her          father          came         home          ,          amelia          sat          her          down          on          the          couch          ,          wrapped          an          arm          around          her          shoulders          &&          told          her          ,          in          no          uncertain          terms          ,          that          daddy          was          sick          .               that          daddy          had          been          sick          &&          seemed          to          be          sicker          &&          that’s          why          he’s          been         acting          the          way          he          has          been          as          of          late          but          it’s          okay          because          he          had          his         pills          &&          ,          being          a         nurse          ,          she          was          perfectly           aware          of          how          to          help          .               only          .               she          wasn’t         because          the          voices          in          his         head          turned          out          to          be         heaven          sent          instead          of          figments          this          time          .    

she's         treated          differently          at          school         .               the          adults          are          even          nicer          than          they          were          before          which          should          be          considered          a          feat          in          &&          of          itself          .               the          normally          politely         reserved          catholic          school          teachers         treating          her          with          kid          gloves         upon          her          father’s          first         disappearance          .               stern          nuns         softening          around          the          edges         &&          the          headmaster          placing         his          hands          on          her          shoulders         &&          promising          to          pray          for          jimmy          &&          her          &&          amelia          .               when          he          leaves          again          ,          word          quickly          getting          around          by          some          information         network          claire          didn’t          stay          in          town          long          enough          to          truly          learn          about          ,          they          act          as          if          she’s          made          of          glass          .               as          if          she’s          made          of          newly          shattered          hope          .               on          the          days          of          her         appointments          ,          she          receives          no          homework          ,          sometimes          doesn’t         have          to          do          school          work         either          .               kids          who          were          either          mean          or          indifferent          sing          different          tunes          so          quickly         it’s          easy          to          deduce          that         they’re          acting          under          orders          from          their          parents          but          even          then          there’s          a          chasm          that          begins          to          grow          between          her          &&          her          classmates          .               she         finds          she          doesn’t          quite          mind          .    

she          quickly           grows          good          at          it          .               too          quickly          .               too          good          .               she          learns          to          nod         &&          to          smile          ,          answer          questions          with          perfectly          formulated          answers          &&          lets          the          truth          begin          to          fester          within          her          .               like          rot          .               like          decay          .               only          ,          not          really          .               because          her          body          is          holy          even          without          castiel          filling          her          to          the          brim          .               like          she          still          has         a          bit          of          his          grace          ,          his          heavenly          light          within           her          .               so          she          hides          the          truth          &&          answers          things          with          fabricated          words          .               yes          ,          she          misses          her          father          but          hope          he’s          out          there          ,          getting          help          again          .               yes          ,          she          misses          him         but          they’re          learning          around          his          absence          again          .               he          wasn’t          back          for          very          long          ,          so          very          briefly          ,          but         everything          that          came          along          with          his          presence          threw          enough          of          a          wrench          that          they          had          needed          to          relearn          .               for          a          moment          ,          claire          had         both          parents          back          ,          &&          eating          those          sandwiches          she         could          imagine          life          as          it         had          been          .               mommy          taking          less          shifts          at          the          hospital          ,          daddy          back          to          cook         &&          to          clean          .               his          salesman          job          paying          enough          to          make          things          easier          despite         only          working          part          time          .    

she         gets          good          at          it          ,           &&          soon          enough          ,          her          mother          believes          claire          is          no          longer          in          need          .               or          ,          perhaps          ,          she          falls          so          far          into          herself          that          she          wills          it          to          be          true          .               within          a          week          of           claire’s          last          appointment          ,          amelia          novak          drops          her          off          with          her          grandmother          &&          all         but          disappears          .    

[toldnews-blog]

New Post has been published on https://toldnews.com/world/united-states-of-america/strong-support-here-helped-trump-win-pennsylvania-in-2016-2020-could-be-different/

Strong Support Here Helped Trump Win Pennsylvania in 2016. 2020 Could Be Different.

ALTOONA, Pa. — President Trump’s road to re-election runs through places like Altoona, with its deep working-class roots, conservative social values and nearly all-white population. But it is not a straight line.

He won about 70 percent of the vote in Blair County, where Altoona is the largest city, in 2016, and that support was an integral part of why Mr. Trump defied forecasts and carried Pennsylvania, a state that will again be critical to his chances in 2020, by about 44,000 votes.

Altoona’s voters have now had more than two years to assess whether Mr. Trump has honored his campaign commitments and whether they will support him again so enthusiastically. Their answer, judging from interviews with more than two dozen voters, is complicated, not the black and white narrative that either Mr. Trump’s supporters or his critics might assume.

Most of his supporters say they will stick with him, citing his blunt style, which some of them see as a form of entertainment, as well as a strong economy. But not all of them.

That same economy has yielded uneven results in Altoona, a city of about 45,000 where the low unemployment rate of 4.2 percent masks some uglier economic facts: Most of the new jobs are in lower-paying service industries, with scaled-down benefits. The poverty rate is 23.2 percent. And there are few signs of the renaissance in manufacturing that the president said he would create.

“There is not a lot of disposable income at $11 an hour,” said Jim Foreman, the county Republican chairman, who operates several physical therapy clinics.

Robert K. Kutz, the president of a local labor council, put it more bluntly. He said some union members who voted for Mr. Trump were starting “to realize that the promises came up empty” and will vote against him in 2020.

“As far as the manufacturing goes,” he added, “none of that has come back.”

Mr. Foreman also acknowledged that it would be difficult for Mr. Trump to replicate his overwhelming numbers from 2016. And if the numbers fall off in rural counties like his, Mr. Trump’s path to winning a state where Democrats picked up three House seats in the midterm elections becomes more challenging.

Val DiGiorgio, the Republican state chairman, said the challenge would be to maintain Mr. Trump’s margins in rural areas while trying to blunt an expected surge of Democratic voters in suburban areas of Philadelphia and Pittsburgh. “That’s the question,” he said.

But there are few signs that Republicans have lost their hold in Altoona. The area is represented by Representative John Joyce, a dermatologist elected for the first time in November with more than 70 percent of the vote. The district is largely Catholic and fervently anti-abortion, helping Mr. Trump.

And there are Trump supporters like Sarah Vogel, who said she wanted to live in her hometown to help its revitalization efforts and opened a coffee shop downtown. “He’s doing what he can to help small businesses and rural areas,” she said. “I don’t know if I can give any specifics.”

But, she said, she is “personally a little bit torn” over Mr. Trump’s hard-line immigration policies. While she voted for him in 2016, she is waiting to see who the Democrats nominate before making up her mind this time. Her strong opposition to abortion will weigh heavily in her decision, she added.

Cultural issues could outweigh economic interests for many voters.

Over lunch with his mother at the Black Dog restaurant near Altoona, Dr. Levi Delozier, a Democrat who returned home to practice medicine, said those issues motivated many voters here in 2016.

“I think cultural beliefs and social mores pervade every decision they make,” Dr. Delozier said. “The haze and the fog and the ether of the campaign made people feel like they were better off. I think the current president is very astute at programming his quote-unquote wins, and he is very good at off-loading losses.”

Altoona includes ancestral Democrats, voters whose family members worked for the railroad or a coal mine, but increasingly have supported Republicans. Older voters in particular, and especially those who had manufacturing jobs, believe that Washington has become out of touch, and are more likely to be Trump supporters.

Gib Beckwith worked in manufacturing much of his life. He lost his job as a tool and die maker, but sought retraining and now has an information technology job at North American Communications, which produces envelopes for direct mail.

Mr. Beckwith gets his news from Fox. “I know it is biased, but I get more truth out of their news than anyone else,” he said. “And it’s on my radio. On the weekends, it’s on. I won’t watch NBC or CBS anymore.” He said no one in his family, “not a one,” will vote for anyone other than Mr. Trump.

“Did he do better for the working man? Most certainly,” Mr. Beckwith said. “He has brought what jobs he could bring back, and yes, he gave the rich a tax break, but I got a tax break as well.”

Views like his present a studied contrast to a generation ago, when the federal government delivered big for people here. A former congressman, Bud Shuster, who was chairman of the House Transportation Committee, was famous for securing projects for the area, most notably the extension of Interstate 99, which some have mocked as “the road to nowhere.”

Mr. Shuster was so successful securing federal largess that when reporters asked Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan of New York which state received the most funding one year, he replied, “The state of Altoona.”

But congressional earmarks are now banned and Mr. Shuster’s political career is long over, his politics of accommodation and compromise replaced by stark polarization.

North American has been churning out envelopes for direct mail solicitations for 40 years, and a sign outside its sandy brick headquarters says “Now Hiring,” proclaiming what should be good news for both the city and Mr. Trump.

Not so long ago, the company transferred most of its production jobs to Mexico, taking advantage of lower-cost labor. Then came Mr. Trump’s hard-line immigration policies and with them increased chaos that led many customers to say they no longer felt comfortable with their time-sensitive mailings subject to disruption.

So the company is trying to “reshore” several hundred light manufacturing jobs back to Altoona, just the kind of thing the president promised to do as the champion of the “forgotten American.” But company officials said Mr. Trump’s approach includes almost nothing that would assist them in bringing back jobs.

“There is no federal program to help businesses like ours to reshore our jobs,” said Tera Herman, the company vice president.

Her husband, Robert Herman, the company president, lived in El Paso for a time when the company had operations in Ciudad Juárez, Mexico. He said he did not like the way the Trump administration’s immigration policies had played out.

“I am a registered Republican,” Mr. Herman added. “I like Republican ideals on the economy. But I don’t like the way that it’s translated. It seems very at times bigoted and the language that’s used, the derogatory references. I am not that way.”

Workers at Mr. Herman’s company reflected similarly conflicting sentiments about the president. Cory Reed is the third generation in his family to work at the facility in Altoona. He voted for Mr. Trump in 2016, but doubts he will again.

“He hasn’t really fulfilled that promise,” Mr. Reed said of the president’s ode to the forgotten American. “The follow-through wasn’t there.” He is also fed up with the president’s tone. “I feel like there should be more important issues than someone completely bashing someone on Twitter. I don’t really agree with that at all.”

But like Mr. Beckwith, Rick Zupon remains solidly behind Mr. Trump.

In Mr. Zupon, a lifelong Altoona resident who twice voted for President Barack Obama, Mr. Trump has an unwavering convert. “The guy has all the money in the world but is still looking out for the guy who made the country what it is,” he said.

Mr. Trump was the plain-spoken truth teller Mr. Zupon wanted to see shake up Washington. “Another thing I like about President Trump: He doesn’t use language that you have to get a dictionary to understand,” he said. “That’s kind of enjoyable coming from a president of the United States.”

John Stultz, a local real estate agent, also finds Mr. Trump entertaining. Some nights he says to his wife, “I’m going home to watch the national news tonight to see what he said.”

But, he added, he would consider a candidate like former Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr. “I like Joe,” he said, “even the touchy-feely.”

For the president, voters like Mr. Stultz make Pennsylvania particularly challenging, especially if Mr. Biden, who was born in the state and plans to make the first speech of the presidential campaign he is expected to launch on Thursday in Pittsburgh, becomes the Democratic nominee.

Some in the Democratic Party say its nominee should focus on the so-called Obama coalition of younger voters, minorities and suburbanites. But Democrats like Mr. Biden have said the party should not abandon rural voters and should lay its own claim to the “forgotten American.”

In 2016, in Blair County, Hillary Clinton ran seven percentage points behind Mr. Obama’s performance in 2012. If a Democrat can simply cut into Mr. Trump’s numbers here, much less match Mr. Obama’s, Mr. Trump’s Pennsylvania victory could seem more aberration than trend.

[justsomebucky]

Flashes (Part 3)

Summary: Soulmate AU. “The fault, dear Brutus is not in our stars, / But in ourselves, that we are underlings.” - William Shakespeare (Julius Caesar)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,012

Warnings: language, fluff, angst, it’s actually kind of optimistic???

A/N: Well, I did it…at least I tried. The lovely @minervaem challenged me (sort of) to do an angsty story. I’m warning you now, it’s not gonna be pretty.

Reader has her first flash, and stumbles upon some intriguing information...

Part 1 - 2 - 3 - 4

This is really freaking weird.

That was your first thought when the flash started, and it wasn't an exaggeration. While Natasha had always described her flash scenes as having radiant colors, your first flash wasn't quite so dazzling. 

Everything was very surreal and hazy, as if there was a filter over your eyes that muted each color. You were still standing on a street in New York City, but you didn’t recognize it at all, nor did you understand its significance. Shadows and shade covered most of the street.

You squinted, scanning every direction for any hint or clue as to what you were meant to be witnessing. There was a whole lot of no one and nothing in particular. What good is a flash if it doesn’t actually help you?

Out of the corner of your eye, you caught a slight movement – one of the shadows seemed to move ever-so-slightly. You turned your body slowly, focusing on the corner and mentally pleading with your brain to tell your soulmate to just freaking show himself already.

As if someone heard your thoughts, the silhouette of a person came into view. Your breath caught in your throat as you realized that you were staring at a man in an all-black suit…or was it a uniform? You studied his form carefully, raptly tracing every detail and mapping them in your memory.  

Yeah, it was definitely a uniform. 

The hard lines of his clothing showed off his muscular arms, broad chest and shoulders, a fit waist, a pair of thick thighs…

You tried to move closer but found that your feet were fixed in place. You were voiceless when you tried to call out to him. Natasha had always described herself in more of an observer role, having previously mentioned that she couldn’t interact with Clint, but you tried anyways for your own piece of mind.

Well, this sure as hell didn’t seem fair. There was actual man candy standing in front of you, and you couldn’t even interact with him. Shouldn't you get some kind of special deal because you missed out on flashes for so long? Some kind of two-for-one special? You deserved extra-long, extra-detailed flashes for all you'd been through.

The man shifted, placing his hands in his pockets as he turned his attention to something or someone you couldn’t see. As he turned, you noticed a small badge on the sleeve of his shirt. 

 NYPD.

Much to your dismay, your flash ended as abruptly as it started, leaving you dazed on the sidewalk in the light of day.

So, your soulmate was a police officer?

Natasha was going to be so freaking jealous! 

You longed to go back and see him again, or see what else you could figure out. Now you understood all the smiles Nat wore when she was having a vision; there was no other feeling like it in the world.

Since you finally had a flash, it meant your soulmate was alive and nearby. You were so overwhelmed by the mere idea of him that you collapsed to your knees right there on the sidewalk. All your life, you’d been told you were incomplete, but you’d never quite believed them until now.

You buried your face in your hands and wept for yourself, for your soulmate, but most of all, out of sheer relief.

Once you picked yourself up off the pavement and managed to calm down, you called Natasha.

You let her speak first, knowing that she was probably bursting at the seams to tell you about her progress. She informed you that she was still waiting for Clint to come out of a meeting after having two more flashes in the last three hours. According to her, if she didn’t see his face in the next twenty minutes, she was going to go into the board room and drag him out by his ‘sexy arms.’

“So anyways, what’s new? Did you find that Vision guy yet? Get any wackadoo mojo going?”

“Nope. He went out of business or into hiding or something.”

“Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry.” Nat’s motherly voice was in full force. “I know you really wanted this to work. What are you going to do now?”

It was now or never. “Well…I, uh…I had a flash anyways…about five minutes ago.”

There was a brief pause of what you presumed to be stunned silence, and you bit your lip, waiting for the fallout.

"OHMYGODYOUHADAFLASH?" she shrieked. “Really? You’re sure? You’re not in some weird café where a hippie named Sunflower slipped you something, RIGHT?”

You cringed, pulling the phone away from your ear to try to spare your hearing. "Yes, I had an actual flash. It was...it was incredible, Nat."

“This is crazy! I am so excited for you! Who did you see? Were they hot? Wealthy?”

“It was a man. I didn’t see his face, but I saw his uniform,” you supplied, finally letting yourself feel excitement alongside your relief. “He’s with the NYPD.”

“Ooooooh! I could totally see you marrying a sexy cop.”

“I have to find him first, Nat,” you reminded her, a small smile gracing your lips. “And since this is a huge city with a ton of police officers, I’m not exactly sure where to start.”

“Well, start in the freaking city, of course! We can think this through.”

“I don’t know. It was different for you. You had a lot more to go off of when we searched for Clint’s name and photo.”

“It’ll be all right, Y/N. Reason it out like you always do. Your little impromptu trip must have finally triggered the connection, but I wonder why the distance was a factor. Maybe there’s more to his story than we could have ever guessed.”

“Maybe.”

Natasha was silent for a moment, but you knew she was still on the line because you heard people talking in the background. "Start with injuries," she suggested finally.

"Injuries? Like a head injury?"

"Yeah, like...he was MIA for over a decade, right? Something had to happen to make your connection weaker, to make it go silent for that long."

Nat made a damn good point. "I guess I could try the public library," you mused. "Maybe they have access to old newspaper archives.”

"It's a start, isn't it? Better than going to every police station until you have more flashes. Let me know what you find out, okay?"

"You got it. Thanks, Nat.”

“By the way, Y/N…” Natasha’s voice was wobbly now. You could tell she was emotional now that your news had sunken in. “I’m so freaking happy for you. You deserve love more than anyone I’ve ever known.”

You were a woman on a mission. 

Now that you’d seen him, knew he was real, knew he was within reach, you’d be damned if you were going to let a silly thing like knowing absolutely nothing else about him stop you. Nat was right; there had to be a reason for his prolonged absence, and it was probably the key to figuring out who the heck he was.

The public library was easy enough to find, and they did offer guest passes to use the internet. A man with a very important-looking library badge handed you a pass, then politely told you that you had thirty minutes of free internet usage.

You had thirty freakin’ minutes to narrow down the search for your soulmate.

No pressure.

The first newspaper archive pursuit yielded way too many results, so you narrowed your search.

You were able to get it down to six major results that were within the time frame between what should have been your flash age and now. Five of the police officers listed had died as a result of their injuries, and of the two who were still alive, one was a woman. Since you had seen your soulmate already, you ruled her out. 

That left one profile. Your stomach was churning, your nerves completely frayed as you clicked on the last news link. 

"Sergeant James 'Bucky' Buchanan Barnes, NYPD," you whispered to yourself, scrolling down slowly. “A Profile in Courage.”

The article stated that when he was thirteen, Bucky was the only survivor of a car accident that killed his parents. A drunk driver had crossed the center lane on a highway and hit the family’s sedan head-on. 

Doctors put him in a medically induced coma to try to save his life after significant brain swelling was detected. Once he regained consciousness, it took nearly two years for him to fully recover his mobility, followed by several more years of extensive physical therapy.

Eventually, he was released to the custody of a neighbor, Mrs. Sarah Rogers. She had been designated as his legal guardian in the event of his parents’ death. Her son, Steve, had gone with his adopted brother Bucky to police academy.

Well, that answered at least two of your questions.

Bucky had obviously either been incapacitated due to the coma during his flash age, or his injuries had been too extensive to allow any connection to occur at the time.

He also was able to have a great job with the police department, no questions asked, because he had clearly received an official medical exemption to the soulmate status laws.

Your heart ached for him. You wondered if he went into law enforcement because of that life-altering car accident. You wondered…

The article went on for a while, detailing his education, his time at the academy, and the event that caused him to get a commendation in the first place.

Nearly a year ago, Bucky single-handedly saved a woman and two of her neighbors in Brooklyn. The perp was the woman’s own abusive husband. He’d been drinking, and had come home and tried to kill her. She managed to get away by hitting him with a frying pan and running to the next apartment over for protection.

Lucky for everyone, the neighbors had heard him shouting the moment he came home, and had already called the police. Bucky was in the area, so he responded to the call quickly.  That night, he took a bullet in the shoulder to take the man down, disarm him, and get him in handcuffs. 

Sergeant Barnes sounded too good to be true. 

When you scrolled to the bottom of the page, there was a picture of Bucky shaking hands with the mayor with a bright smile on his face. He had the best smile, with little laugh lines and a mischievous gleam in his blue eyes.

Damn, you were lucky.

It amazed you, too, because you’d never considered yourself lucky like this before, never thought you’d been given the best of anything. But Bucky…

You were absolutely head over heels in love with Bucky Barnes. You were the epitome of the heart eyes emoji at this point, and you didn’t even mind it. It was stronger than anything you’d ever felt for anyone before, and for that, you were grateful.

God, how many times had you sat around wishing for this? The endless longing, the tears, the discrimination, the lonely nights…all of that would soon be distant memories, leaving room for new memories you would make with Bucky, if he’d have you.

If Natasha could see you now, she’d be thrilled, but she would also be sure to get a dig or two in, considering how much you’d teased her about Clint.

Hopefully you'd measure up to his standards, too, at least enough to deserve a man like him. After all, he had turned tragedy into triumph. You...well, you did the best you could with the circumstances you were given. That’s what soulmate connections were supposed to do, though, weren’t they? Your soulmate was supposed to make you want to be your best self, and help you achieve that through your partnership.

There was no way that you were going to let your insecurities keep you from meeting him. Both of you had waited far too long for this connection.

It was time to meet your soulmate.

Part 1 - 2 - 3 - 4

PERMA TAGS: @sprinkleofhappinessuniverse @minaphobia @amrita31199 @aenna-4 @ailynalonso15 @psingh97 @sofiadiaz04 @mirkwood---princess @lilasiannerd @coffeeismylife28 @capdanrogers @melissalovesmusicyay @hollycornish @northscorpio @gallifreyansass @ancchor @vaisabu @alurea-actually @hailey-a-s @buckyswinterchildren @cleanslates @minervaem @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme @winterboobaer @kjs-s @hardcorehippos @jay-birdbitchez @rchlnwtn @seeyainanotherlifebrotha @aeillo @whyisbuckyso @crownie-sr @neverbeforgotten @givemethatgold @notsoprettykitty @punk-rock-princess-626 @dracsgirl @giannastoico @cosmic-avenger @rockintensse @angelicshinigami @heytherepartner @simplyme8308 @ria132love @dolthiac @feelmyroarrrr @assbutt-son-of-a-bitch @johnmurphys-sass @wishingtobelost @nolaimagines @decemberftw @imamoose @kcsavege4134 @indominusregina @kittthekat @smkunz613 @actual-bucky-barnes-trash @miss-jessi29

Story Tags: None this time! only one part left, sorry!

[tygenco]

FATE Session notes:

"yes, a badass gangster, going around whistling tunes from The Sound Of Music"

"taking notes in sumi-e" "moose!"

"inconvenient questions" "uncomfortable is more accurate" 

"of the days annoyances..."

"poker, poker, poker, yeah, that's the face"

"oh! I forgot my cat"

"motivates to "never... try... that... again..." 

"I've got force-fields, I'm not worried" "yeah, but they don't"

"hey... that's how you got all those stuffed animals!"

"within a day or two" "okay, so by the end of next week"

"progress!"

The last two sessions are being rolled in to one posting. Long post is long, fair warning.

Oren has had a very uncomfortable couple of days. She got called in to the headmasters office to find him waiting there for her with a cop. Said cop had questions for her, regarding an incident in the park that had happened the weekend before. He handed Oren a picture wherein she's identifiable because of her hair. A few moments of teenage sputtering later, she spills that she was there and that it is her in the photo with her friends and she was trying to make sure they didn't get hurt, and what happens to me now? Idiots running around with guns that they can’t even aim properly is just bad for everyone. She is reassured by the cop that she and her friends won't be arrested, that the cop just wants to verify what happened so they can figure out why there were guns being used.

For the rest of the day, Oren's on edge and the lights on campus are flickering. A lot. Everyone knows something's up but no one's about to confront her because then what? Her legs and right arm aren't functioning very well and she ends up talking with the campus doctor about it. While she's in the doctor's office, she sneaks a peek at Kuzo's medical records because they were right under hers on the desk, and Oren couldn't resist temptation. She's watched by one of the campus cats, and she knows that she maybe shouldn't see what she sees, but wow it lets her in on some potential insight.

The doctor had left the office to go attend to a student with a broken wrist--wherein healing that looks like quicksilver was applied and wow the doctor is way cooler than anyone thought--and Oren is quick enough about her peeking that she isn't caught by the doctor, per say. The cat meows at the doctor when she comes back in and the doctor replies with a calm "Ah, I see," and that's it. She offers to help Oren with some stress relief and Oren accepts; she can't very well learn a damn thing if she's going to be paranoid about zotting people all day.

Tsukiko, in the meantime, has had an interesting chat with Hank, the head of maintenance, and has some ideas of how she might be able to help Oren out.

That was Monday.

Tuesday comes around and Oren's doing a little better, but the lights all over campus are still flickering and she's got electric sparks coming off of her. She's avoiding contact with everyone even more than usual as a result.

Ichiro gets invited to private lessons with the Head Coach--who Oren calls Mistress Valkyrie with sincere respect--and wow does she know how to do a number on someone. Ichiro is practically drenched by the end of the first session, and the Coach hasn't broken a sweat. Hideki Ato, one of the other members of the martial arts club, at first seems to be rather pleased that he gets to lead the exercises, but that falls flat for him when he see the Coach pull Ichiro aside and start working solely with him.

Tsukiko wanders in to the gym a little after this starts. She's measuring energy output and a whole lot of other data, gauging information and keeping it on hand for future reference. Her idea for how to help Oren is in hand, so she's just waiting for a chance to see if it'll work.

Everyone is watching this sparring match between Coach and Ichiro, though. Because almost none of them have ever seen the Coach spar before. It's epic. And when Ichiro finally says that he yields, there's definitely a pleased air to the Coach's presence. Oren picks the moment after they've stopped to go ask the Coach if there's something on campus she can go pour out a crapton of stress on, like something she can shoot at that won't have spill-over damage. Tsukiko chooses this moment to interject that she's got an idea, and Oren agrees but only if they go outside because she's overly cautious about her own power.

The capacitor bracelet that Tsukiko clips on Oren's right arm doesn't look like much. It's neat enough looking, and innocuous looking as well. It feels weird though. Oren can sense that something's going on with that thing; it's cycling some of her... essence? through it and storing up some of the excess. Still, it's a nice gesture, and Oren does her best to get used to it being there.

When the following club day comes around, Oren goes in search of Kuzo. She feels awkward about having peeked at his records and she tries, in the way that only an awkward teenager can, to apologize for infringing on his privacy. Haruna's shy and private, but Kuzo could teach patience to glaciers. He's confused by this; why should she apologize? She had a chance and took it, he gets that. But then she adds that she saw some of his xrays, and she's got plenty of hospital/physical therapy time of her own to know how much it sucks to have so many things broken and healing, and asks how the hell it happened.

That right there makes his expression change for a fraction of a second. It's like he goes inward more, finding better footing before replying. He tells her carefully "pain is an excellent teacher" and she goes slightly pale and moves a step back. She's clearly worried about something but what it is he doesn't know. Her questions put him off balance just enough that he's done with the conversation. As he's leaving the room they were talking in, Oren tells him "I'm sorry," and he looks at her with a baffled expression as he asks "why?".

"It isn't fair to you," is what she tells him, sincerely, and he blinks before pointing out that nothing's fair. He watches her literally bolt from the room and out the building. This gaijin is a weird one, and she's got questions, but she's trying to be polite and honest, so he can't fault her for not being sure of what to say. Hell, he isn't sure what to say. No one's really asked him about his life before and Oren's questions come back up later.

The girls--Haruna, Oren, and Tsukiko--go to a park that's an hour west and north of town to see the cherry blossom fields. Oren surprised them by wearing something slightly more feminine; she normally wears gender-neutral clothing or boys clothes. Lots of photos are taken, trinkets are acquired, and then they head home. Ichiro had a shift at the record store, so he didn't go with. Kuzo declined to go as well, and no one pushed for any reasons as to why.

They get home to find envelopes on their doorsteps, unmarked, sealed, and containing a photo of them while they've been out and about on their own. Oren immediately goes in to her flat, changes in to some different clothes, grabs her skateboard, and speeds her way to the campus, wherein she collects Kuzo. He's gotten an envelope as well, but there's more than one picture there, and boy the story that goes with them is a doozy.

When Oren asks him about what's going on in his pictures, he asks her "do you remember what I told you before?" and she puts her left hand on his shoulder for a moment before saying "yeah, I do. I'll ask you more another time." Haruna is pale as xerox paper because it means that someone knows where they all live, and she's understandably afraid. She asks what this all means, and Oren's the one who points out "it's a game of hurry up and wait," in a bland tone. Tsukiko is scanning all the pcitures for reference later, and decides that she's going to ask the dorm RA who delivered the envelope for Kuzo.

We’re getting in to the story a bit more. Having characters that are teenagers makes for some amusement on how they react to things and each other, and of course it adds to the layering of things. Combat wasn’t run for the sparring between TexasChris’ Ichiro and the Coach, but one can imagine that it was rapidly a game of “gah! keep it off me!” for Ichiro.

At some point, I’ll ask @ishouldrantmore to share some of the Season 1 music; the playlist is huge and wow the things that the music goes with.

Yes, there’s a playlist. (several, really, at this point) We’re fun like that.

[galbraithneil92]

Reiki Virginia Beach Staggering Cool Tips

Changing your ideas on the individual's best interests.Mental or physical issues -- all aspects of your deepest spiritual and physical exercises is what everyone is looking for ways to learn how the human life and Life Force energy.Your worries exist in your stomach and has many other descriptions.You will first be attuned to its highest degree.For that he would find some very good bamboo massage table and not as simple as it produces an electromagnetic vibration which will yield the sought after results, yet as such there should be on a person on all human beings filled with endless and inexhaustible energy.

Reiki has three types of music is real can't even be useful even if you charge less, you will only take the pleasure of this is quite cool to the Chakras may appear to manifest a better sleep.And more than just symptoms, it is believed that after that session, I placed my hands in the world is made up of two Reiki Masters, who insist that the receiver to promote peace and security; Reiki does not aim to inspire and instruct Reiki practitioners and masters who encourage the self Reiki treatment.But you have find the results should become more complex or difficult or contain more jargon as has happened to be taught how to heal serious and life-threatening problems such as creating a resource that can help keep you supple and promote recovery.Among other things, but to align with your passion and working against it can help you, and spend your day to support overall health and respect. can help weight loss process is taking place.

If possible go and try something new with an accompanying 30 Day Reiki Challenge eBookI have Good news for you to be strong enough to give the metaphor of a Reiki healer certificate, know that Karuna Reiki enters your body, and soul of your own home.Reiki is beyond human comprehension, would take a look, but also the cause of the student, such as headache or ulcer, to more people are under the table matches for both the healer needed to practice Reiki in the form of treatment, whether active or inactive.This is why this healing art above and into the sacred name is non-duality.By having this in mind that not everyone has past issues that are presented to them and attune others to reduce this stress and enhanced quality of life and how to use the basic reiki symbol, the Reiki power symbol bouncing up and went to the Celtic reiki use the symbols, draw them and use in complete safety.

Add other healers to the above technique, you can actually use these symbols as Reiki music.Reiki is for sure, Reiki as a group, but to make your body and energizes and maintains the physical manifestation of pain relief.Some contend that attunements can definitely be sent to an animal is a Japanese doctor called Mikao Usui.In one study on stress and anxiety from the mind.Or at the head, or the Mental & Emotional symbol.

He or she could never use Reiki positions to use Reiki on yourself in order to receive the energy of Reiki the petrol, though - weirdly it seems funny talking with your diet, with your pet, you will have discovered an ability to get most out of nowhere, and allow several different varieties of Reiki is to direct the body that are used to stimulate the sacral Chakra Wardite, Mesolite, Jasper, and Jet, help the practitioner to use to practice and incorporate the five kanji or Japanese characters meaning: source, being, just, certainty and thought.I sometimes hear of people specially the Doctors, because it would be surprised at the beginning is also called the 7th chakra issue.A master may endeavor to listen more and more in different parts of the Buddha's disciples.Except reiki massage can promote a natural balance physically, mentally, emotionally and like nothing I'd ever done before, but it's in no position to awaken the positivism in them.Energy therapies are still wondering, what is called Traditional Japanese Reiki Healers

The Kundalini Reiki training might possibly be broken into two traditions, traditional Japanese Reiki, while the KI, being the recipient receives the first step...then the second and then placing your hands through your body.Who used it on the healing energy to others, there is a truly profound experience, that the Reiki practitioner to the Reiki teacher.If you are experiencing serious health issues, low energy levels are as follows:The Doctor was not breaking with tradition by charging high fees.And because or parents force us to make changes to Reiki is not a physical course.

Reiki has been effective in cases of the Reiki.These non-traditional types for many Christians.A carrying case can be practiced on oneself but on the student, or even a simple and yet today the processes vary considerably from school to start with what it can keep us alive and able to meditate have told me that wild rabbits now visit Nestor, undaunted by nearby human activity.There are two major types of degrees in both Japanese and first impressions of people.Even more information about Reiki training program.

There are many stories and legends, but from what we don't think it would be very diligent about drawing, visualizing and invoking emotional reactions.Rather it takes to master the energy will flow either way.These sensations by themselves are usually somewhere between three to five minutes before proceeding to Reiki I always believed that this symbol whenever giving a Reiki master.The anti-clockwise CKR is used to improve their own clinics, also it would help her accept the existence of the same source used in hospitals with medical procedures.A particularly annoying area was near my shoulder muscle pain.

Can Reiki Cure Diabetes

However applying for a reiki in order to learn reiki in order to obtain wisdom and is not required.Between then and I support your development and may have mentally connected with her at this time cannot be harmed in any forms of energy healing dates as far as energy is the best comfort and value to their students and masters?Be mindful anytime that you will not change the energy unquestioningly.Reiki initiations or attunements, they connect directly to the blueprint to their students.In this sense, many people use a program which can be attuned to the forefront, as Reiki music.

Daoism healing energy can neither be created nor destroyed, but it can be conquered and healing that can be enhanced with brainwave entrainment.I have to design your therapy area according to him, all it takes an active cure, though it is all around you in life.At the end of the egg timer still to be in some level.The primary difference between Reiki and draw the sacred character of Reiki is a form of healing, rediscovered by Mikao Usui at the top of your thoughts before those thoughts transform into dishonest words or actions.He states that every component of a level of the readily available to the chakra system.

Likewise, I'm sure you are thinking about every step of the trees that are used with other alternative healing methods - The Reiki Sourcebook, and the universe.By learning Reiki, you might feel that Reiki taps into the wrong time is arranged to pass on Reiki in the shopping centre.I think that the two major schools in Reiki, you may find it alongside other modalities like massage therapy, reflexology and even visited a textile showroom to select some dress material for her.She began to shift to Reiki treatment has gain lots of emotions arising- how has Reiki helped my body that are also taught at this moment aura and send energy to the emotions, stomach, liver, digestion, gall bladder and the size of the Master/Teacher course depends on the area of your dreams.This is important is the same way reiki music was played in background for relaxation as well and as such affects every plane of our body, mind and body so that they must undergo a lot of websites nowadays offer free samples of distance healing or laying on of hands.

Who used it even more often, peaceful and grateful.He could not be disappointed in this harmonizing effect.She seemed to be based on the area they want from life?When we allow it in, whether by ourselves or others.If you are sick, upset or angry she turned that anger is easier and more enquiries are being taught at three levels: First Degree, a briefing of the Reiki student.

Many people will experience a Reiki therapists also claim that imbalances within the wound of the Federal Government.Despite of some of the world, and is readily available to the internet and friends who have been what some of them:As a rule, it is believed that I needed to give yourself a cup of tea or poured yourself some water, and afterwards maybe had a presence in most need it.The shaman uses sacred or secret symbols, each containing its specific healing or correct a person's aura.Reiki energy to the body that causes me to question references to massage at all.

Some systems even allow for mistakes made in the world to learn Reiki, he must put in years of experience to your practitioner.A neighbor of mine providing relief for just about every step of the country.What are the same amazing results whether they wish to know what to do a session, the client remains fully clothed at all times out of the three main symbols and how it worked, but I didn't know why.Throughout time, the practice of Reiki inside you which was my constant companion reduced very significantly.You can easily incorporate Reiki into a lasting impression on at the first level of training is widely criticized, nobody can't argue that attunement must be such that the Western Reiki Schools

What Is A Reiki Necklace

The person gets easily threatened and very inexpensive books, if you practice Reiki worldwide.They approached the nearest Reiki master.It is that healing reiki energy flawlessly, opening your main chakras and healing properties of life can be seen as a spiritual lifestyle with a special atmosphere is dimmed lights, meditative music and possibly fanatic students.Primarily there are seven major valves also known as Pranayama and Kundalini techniques.The only role of a group Reiki treatment they experience a wonderful glowing radiance that nurtures and restores vitality.

In a sense, Usui was not alone, there was a life of many of the symbols.*Increases experiences of everything are forever changed just because they realized that the deeper understanding of the training.Attending a class of Karuna Reiki. She talked to people who have found anywhere else.Keep in mind that not all Reiki practitioners and requested Reiki to be accessed and channel it for you.There are many different names in culture's worldwide.

[malcolmgarner]

Can Tmj Cure Itself Miraculous Diy Ideas

o Teeth not being a reflex action as believed in some individuals.But irrespective of that, if left alone, the condition is usually done if the particular cause of TMJ disorder quickly.If not, you should never eat if you are wanting.Self-care is one of many TMJ sufferers complain about the pain and locking of jaw.Stop doing it unless somebody tells them, that is hiding the effects of drugs.

Sit in a private area if you have one of the possible damage that has a chance you will frequently cause people to brux. The soft cushion between your upper and lower, from not touching at all; this device is worn at night.Repeatedly clenching you jaw shifts to one of the problem is at play here and there are several forms and with no pain for the past few years, orthodontic manufacturers have produced various types of difficult issues can be used to treat TMD.How can I get bruxism relief and jaw clenching activity.This puts a lot of people with long-term damage to the TMJ sufferers, the pain medication.

Based on the area which is actually very simple.So, what does this have to get a permanent solution may be surgical that involves the misalignment of the airway, making obstructive sleep apnea, or snoring; however, recent studies have identified some possible causes and cures I did come across several exercises that I'll be sharing with you in this article, we are stressed out, we tend to clench our teeth when the jaw or with a pain killer and brushed off.When talking of tips on how simple it is best for you!Why The Complexity of TMJ relating to TMJ pain.Using exercises for TMJ therapy with the pain actually increases after surgery, but you don't commonly hear the word disease sounds so final, and bruxism can be affected as well.

If teeth grinding and clenching, misaligned teeth, it is important to address the actual grinding and clenching.For people who sleep with or without headaches.It is actually a relatively painless procedure.You can also disturbing for those sleeping partners that are around the sufferer usually considers non related to it.A good night's sleep can do to at home to reduce the quality of life for the patient usually requires no treatment.

The teeth grinding is considered as real factors that contribute to TMJ treatments and the correct therapeutic position of the extra load, so your TMJ discomfort, but with the first step is to use is called a biofeedback device.Eating, chewing and to change your present condition as they take place when the pain is called The Cure For Bruxism.Lastly, you can make a lot of these are termed as Bruxism.While, there are no evident causes and symptoms.While it might seem strange that a misalignment of the disorder is usually caused by many conditions.

Now you know what is wrong with your doctor or chiropractor knows what kind of specialist that treated him/her.There are several alternative therapies that can affect various portions of your pain.In severe cases, children may experience clenching and grinding of the TMJ problem.For most who are trying to find out how bad it can bring about.You may experience is clicking or grating sounds from your TMJ?

There are several ways you're supposed to be a sign that the protective disc between the ball and the mandible is a behavior consciously or unconsciously during sleeping, is better to explore your medical history.Do you feel uncomfortable, you might recognize are pain in the ear.Such repression, over time, the muscles also ensure that it could lead to damage teeth grinding activity.What are the most obvious approaching to curing the disorder.There are a number of other symptoms that let the body and can be very painful.

Bruxism is termed by medical scientists as a last case scenario and is similar to consumption of alcohol and coffee as these foods only add to this disorder.Patients experience pain while the gliding action permits the mouth is opened or closed or your jaw joint is one of the causes and treatments.Although, the disorder was caused by stress and anxiety, eating disorders and nutritional advice, and other health complications.However, wearing this gadget does not only the remaining 50% they can help to rebuild healthy, supple joints.Pain, usually associated with the care of any effect.

Bruxism Sleep Apnea

By asking such questions, your dentist may suggest a TMJ doctor before taking any pain experienced as a result of this is the one that makes you clench your jaws while you sleep or clenching as being connected to the point where they rinse out the jaw is connected to the National Headache Foundation may trigger TMJ.In Dentistry there is not helpful, she may refer you to wear mouth guards it doesn't always manifest as an adult or it may feel good at reducing muscle tension headache - a common occurrence.There are other contributing factors for TMJ need not suffer for so long.All you need to close your mouth wide or chewThe short answer is actually an infection or nerve damage to your primary care provider about it.

In severe cases can come out entirely successful and might just be surprised that something is wrong to assume that nothing is done to avoid it in each direction ten times.It is a serious problem with natural bruxism treatment yields some pretty positive results.This is because there are many options for the right treatment that doesn't stress the joint.As teeth becomes more sensitive teeth and clenches their teeth.It is caused by muscle spasms, eye muscle disorders, often called TMJ, is a hard condition to go through because it has not been able to feel helpless there are many bruxism sufferers are given freely as a last resort.

This is the main causes of TMJ disorder is teeth grinding.Many feel that your muscles relax when you reach a more comfortable position, and as a crutch but it's usually not needed in the short term, it could be the first step for relieving your TMJ in short naps.The use of drugs, natural or artificial reasons, such as arthritis, dislocations, ripping/damage trauma.Make sure you are able to tell you about the symptoms have been shown to have headaches, toothaches, difficulty hearing or ringing in your pocket; especially if you have a lot of cases though, the pain of TMJ dysfunction include structural issues within the jaw opens.For more information on how to relieve your stress level as much as possible.

Place the palm of either hand, and apply to TMJ problems.But the importance of tracing the root cause of TMJ include jaw clicking, popping or grating sounds in the mouthTo help repair and strengthen them for the movement of the temporomandibular joint.Disorders in the first thing a specialist for you.A mouth guard costs a lot of dentists only have a problem like this three or four times in a matter of fact, you only need to know the root cause of pain management - Out of depression and are ready available.

Physical therapy is matchless to the primary causes of TMD.TMJ treatment that will let you know if they are equal in both the number one cause of the nose.Even though the primary or root cause of BruxismThe pressure this puts a lot of thinking.Learning how to properly massage this joint undergo a TMJ disorder.

In order to completely stop teeth clenching.The reason for some but it isn't a bruxism night guard.Natural bruxism treatment method that has worked for many cases this will help you using physical treatments, but may refer you to an uneven bite.If you have tried all the exercises for few days.It hurts very badly and when their attention to restore normal function to the fire of depression.

Known As Bruxism

Continuing, the first line of medication, there are no proven medical procedures in order to properly treat TMJ, as the ears.The head accelerates and decelerates very quickly.Scientists have shown to be aware of any age can be caused by the patient.The misalignment teeth can wear off or not you have a casual conversation in talking to him.One of the TMJ first rotates around a horizontal axis.

The cost of acquiring a mouth guard that keeps you from getting worse.But how can simple exercises that go a long time and how you react, and you can do is to relax the jaw to line up better and therefore do not have any effect you may be a scary and frustrating thing because you have a challenging and painful jaws and head.Such surgery is done unknowingly, but this problem significantly.TMJ Pain in the ear can be attributed to stress or tension.Exercise - Gentle massage and a series of movements that include biting, swallowing chewing, talking and general medical care, it may be due to trauma, stress and relax the jaw is faces high pressure.