#and now I'm ticked off and about to cry when we were supposed to be having a fun family holiday outing. yay

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

how the HECK do I explain to my parents that I do not want bass guitar lessons from my dad, I want to teach myself from the books and videos that I have. I will literally throw away every plan I have to learn this instrument if I have to learn this way I'm not even kidding. this is why I quit guitar after two months my freshman year of high school.

[yoongiseesawmp3]

anything but - jeonghan

summary: roommate!jeonghan. you thought living with your best friend, jeonghan, would be easy. fun. like a sleepover every night. but as he watches you struggle week in and week out with crushes that don't like you back or dates that never seem to go well, he decides to take matters into his own hands.

word count: 8.2k

warnings: none rly, afab reader, unedited, sry

masterlist

jeonghan is ready to go to sleep. he had a long day, followed by a good, but tiring, night with friends, and he's been thinking about his soft sheets for the past two hours now. he's also been thinking about you, thinking about how happy he gets seeing your face light up when he walks through the door, but he knows he won't see that tonight. you're going on a date, dinner with some loser who's not him. he knows he could treat you so much better, but he can't just say that. things would get weird, and jeonghan can't afford the rent on his own. so selfishly, he keeps you and his feelings at arm's length. he's still thinking about you as he puts his key in the lock, wondering if he can stay up late enough to make sure you get home safe. when he opens the door, he changes his mind.

"what are you doing here?" jeonghan asks with a bit of anger in his voice, finding you laid out on the couch scrolling through your phone. "you told me you were going on a date tonight. did you cancel on him?"

"nope," you reply, popping the p as you sit up to stare at your roommate. "he cancelled on me. ten minutes before he was supposed to pick me up, actually, so i got ready for nothing."

that's when jeonghan notices the nice clothes you have on, your hair done up but mussed now that you've been laying on it. and, with a pang in his chest, he notices your makeup that looks smudged with tears. he knows you've been having dating trouble lately, and it's definitely been getting to you. but it makes his heart ache to think that you've been home all night crying over some loser who couldn't even bother to take you out.

"why didn't you call me?" he asks softly, joining you on the couch as he lifts your legs to lay them over his lap. he keeps a comforting hand on your calf as you explain, a slight tremor in your bottom lip as you say, "i didn't want to interrupt boy's night."

"baby, come on," he sighs. "you should have told me. you could've come to boy's night!"

"right," you scoff, rolling your eyes. "and hear all of them talk about their beautiful girlfriends and being so happy in a relationship? i'd rather eat drywall."

"we talk about other stuff," jeonghan laughs. "i told them about you getting us tickets to that soccer game and now i think they like you better than me. mingyu might be calling to see if he can take my ticket."

"never," you smile at him, sitting up and swinging your legs from his lap. "well, it's late. you're probably tired."

"eh," jeonghan shrugs, looking over you carefully to gauge if you're upset. "i could stay up a little longer, if you wanted to watch something."

"we're caught up on all our shows though," you pout. jeonghan sees an idea cross your face, so he asks, "what are you thinking?"

"nothing," you shake your head. "i remembered i didn't watch project runway last week, but you don't like that show-"

"put it on," he nods to the tv, looking over you one more time and noticing your clothes must not be that comfortable. "or you go change, i'll set it up."

"you don't know what episode i'm on though," you squint at him, and he shakes his head.

"nope, you're two weeks behind," he says. "i remember, because we went out the week before and you were ticked off that you were missing it."

"you pay too much attention to me," you mumble as you finally get up from the couch, jeonghan barely hearing you as he checks you out from behind. you're right, he does. too bad you haven't realized why.

when you come back from your room, you're wearing a hoodie that's seen better days and shorts that aren't quite doing their job. jeonghan clears his throat, trying not to stare, but when you sit down and put your legs back over his lap he can't help but skirt his hand over your skin, getting too close to your thigh without realizing.

"that tickles," you giggle, pushing his hand away. "you're annoying."

"ha, sorry," he laughs nervously, not sure what to do with his hands now so he reaches for the remote to press play. not far into the episode you curl up on your side of the couch, your knees tucked up beneath you as you lay down. jeonghan keeps an eye on you the whole time, attune to all your reactions and movements. he notices when you shiver, up in an instant to get a blanket.

"where are you going?" you call out, and he comes back wordlessly with the comforter from his room. he wraps it over you, using the rest of it to cover himself as he gets comfortable again. you find yourself dozing off, waking up every few minutes to see the progress on your favorite designers. you sleep through a whole section of the show, whining that you need to rewind, but jeonghan quietly explains what's happened and you're satisfied enough.

"do you want me to turn this off?" jeonghan asks after he sees your eyes closed again after you just complained about missing part of the show. you shake your head, not much of it visible outside of his blanket. you're noticing how nice his blanket smells, recognizing it as the same fresh scent that follows jeonghan around. it makes you feel at home, and that's part of what's making you so sleepy.

"i don't wanna go to my room," you admit shyly, feeling the tears from earlier just a moment or two away. "i'll stay awake, promise."

"do you want to sleep out here?" jeonghan asks, and you think about it for a moment. it wouldn't be the first time you had a little sleepover of sorts, both of you squished awkwardly on the couch or sleeping far apart from each other on someone's mattress that's been dragged out from one of your rooms. your silence decides it for jeonghan, and he says, "i'll go change, and then we can go to sleep." all you do is nod, getting comfortable beneath his comforter again as jeonghan slinks back to his bedroom to get ready for bed.

he comes back out and laughs to himself, your messy hair and scrunched sleepy face pulling at his heart. he knows someday he should tell you how he feels. he knows what you're looking for, and he knows he's perfect for you. it's just a matter of time before you figure that out, too.

-

a few days later, jeonghan was in the middle of a nap when he heard mumbling in the hallway and the sound of someone slamming doors. he was worried for only a few minutes, thinking it could possibly be an intruder, but as the mumbling gets closer to his door he knows there's a very frustrated y/n on the other side. he groans as he hoists himself up, shuffling to the door so he can peek out at you putting laundry away in the most irritated way possible. it's like you're trying to punish the towels for existing, and jeonghan can't help but laugh at the annoyed look on your face. it's cute, he finds himself thinking, but his chuckle pulls you from your dark thoughts and brings your anger to a new victim.

"what."

"nothing," jeonghan says defensively. "i thought someone was breaking in, you know, with all the banging around."

"shut up," you mumble, shoving the washcloths into the hall closet before slamming the door. you turn to your best friend and roommate, finger pointed accusingly, "i'm in a bad mood so don't piss me off."

"that explains the stress cleaning," he notes, and you ignore him.

"i'm going downstairs to put the dishes away," you grumble as you pass by him to get to the stairs, and he puts a timid hand on your shoulder.

"maybe do something that involves less breakables," he says coolly. "go punch a pillow or something."

"that's a good idea," you say, face lighting up slightly, and he laughs nervously as he finally asks what's wrong. "you remember that bitch of a dude who i was talking to a couple weeks ago?"

"gar bear?" jeonghan asks, and you roll your eyes.

"gary, yeah."

"what about him?" he asks, watching you unlock your phone and scroll to find something. you shove it into his hands, open to a very disturbing picture of a very ugly dick. "no."

"yeah. at three pm on a fucking thursday."

"stop making me look at it," he whines, pushing your phone back to you. "that's what made you mad?"

"yes!" you shout. "how did that thought process work? oh, this girl who i led on and then gaslit and then weirded out, she really needs to see my dick right now. it's the middle of the day! get a job! contribute to society!!!"

"why's he posing like that?" jeonghan asks, noticing more about the photo since you haven't locked your phone yet. "he looks so stiff."

"please stop," you say, but jeonghan sees a smile pulling at your lips.

"so what did you do?"

"i said 'what is your problem' and then i blocked him," you shrug, and he laughs.

"remind me to never piss you off," he says as he wraps an arm around you. "i'm sorry guys are assholes."

"i think i'm gonna become a nun," you mumble into his shoulder, staying in his hold maybe a minute too long. he presses a quick kiss to the crown of your head before letting you go, a blush on your cheeks that he takes pride in.

"you'd suck at being a nun, you're not nice enough," he jokes, and the way you glare at him makes him smile. "plus you fuck too much, aren't they supposed to be celibate?"

"forget punching pillows, i'm gonna punch you."

"sure baby," he chuckles, looking back at you as he walks downstairs. "you want food or something? i'll do the dishes. you just focus on not burning down the patriarchy."

"no promises," you mumble as you follow behind him. "but yeah, i wanna try this recipe i found the other day..."

it's over dinner that night that you realize how perfect jeonghan is. if only you could find a guy just like your best friend. someone who supports you, makes you smile, know how to get your heart to skip a beat. take, for example, his compliments. you like to joke to jeonghan that you need validation on your cooking, like tinkerbell, so whenever you cook for him the praises are nonstop. he's nothing if not supportive, so he tries to find things to comment on that he knows will make you blush. it works, and you do your best to tell him to stop without making it obvious that your heart is doing somersaults at his words.

this is what you want from a relationship, you find yourself thinking. you want to be comfortable with them, feel supported, all the things that jeonghan gives you. that night, you scroll through your dating apps, looking for a guy you think could meet those standards. in reality, you spend the whole night comparing the men on your screen to your roommate, subconsciously thinking of all the things you like most about jeonghan that these losers don't possess. you fall asleep like that, phone open to an empty chat, with jeonghan still on your mind.

-

so, a downside to living with jeonghan is you get the brunt end of all his weird energy. sometimes it's fun, and manifests itself in silly ways. like when you go thrifting, he takes it upon himself to find the weirdest thing in the store and insists on bringing it home. it means your apartment is decorated uniquely, but some of the stranger things you make him keep in his room. you haven't figured out yet that he only does this to make you laugh, loving how you smile sweetly at all the funny trinkets littered around your house. anything that goes into his room is eventually donated back to goodwill, its purpose served, doomed to delight another unassuming shopper some day.

other times, his weird energy comes out in worse ways. like today, he's not home, but you can feel that something's wrong. you know jeonghan is helping his friends with some video shoot, and he won't be home until much later. but there's a vibe in your apartment when you walk in. something is off, and it doesn't take you long to realize it. jeonghan has moved everything around, the couch where your kitchen table should be, the chairs from the table lined up in place of your couch. he's a strange one, your best friend, but it makes you laugh nonetheless, sending him a picture of the chairs and asking, "how am i supposed to fall asleep watching tv on this?!"

jeonghan smiles when he gets your text, shooting back, "watch tv in your room if you know you're just gonna fall asleep!"

really, he did the switcharoo for you to let your guard down. yes, moving furniture around is something silly that he would do, but he hid something further in the house that he wants you to find. he's hoping he'll be home when you do, but just the mere thought of your reaction has him chuckling. he goes back to whatever vernon wanted him to do, curious at each buzz from his phone, wondering if it's you.

jeonghan got the best of you, like usual. you did just go to your room, putting on one of your comfort shows so you could relax after a boring shift at work. you only get up to make a quick meal, dozing off again with the empty plate beside you. when the tv wakes you up you figure it's just time for you to go to bed, so you shuffle to the kitchen and notice a light coming from under jeonghan's door. he must have come home while you were napping, but it's late, so you go about your business. you drop your things off in the kitchen, returning upstairs to grab a washcloth and towel from the closet before you lock yourself in the bathroom. jeonghan is listening intently as you move around, waiting for the sound of the shower curtain pulling back and-

"JEONGHAN?!"

with sock clad feet that send him crashing through the now open bathroom door, he greets you with a shit eating grin. "you rang?"

"what the FUCK is that doing in here," you bellow, pointing at the plastic skeleton jeonghan found at the party store earlier that day. he thought it would be funny to hide in the apartment, at first just thinking about propping it up in the kitchen like the dead guy was making a meal, but the idea of scaring you a little was too good for him to pass up.

"man, when was the last time you cleaned your bathroom?" jeonghan jokes, "he must've been in here a while."

"fuck you," you spit, heart still racing from the surprise. that's when jeonghan notices something: you're naked. well, not entirely. like, you definitely don't have clothes on, his eyes flicking down to see your discarded panties and sleep shirt on the floor. he can't see the goods though because you're dangerously holding a towel over your body, one edge of it slipping as you reach out to try and punch jeonghan.

"what, you don't like him?" jeonghan pouts, stepping out of the bathroom to protect himself. "i thought you said you wanted to start decorating for halloween."

"this is not what i meant and you know it, you jackass," you try to say meanly, but jeonghan finds it cute. "it scared the shit out of me."

"i'm sorry," he says finally, hands twitching to reach out and grab you by the waist so he can rub comforting circles on your skin. but he can't. he physically shakes his hands out, a thing he does often enough to reset his mind that you look at him quizzically.

"why'd you do that?" you ask, and he clasps his hands behind his back defensively.

"felt like it," he shrugs. you roll your eyes and reach for the door, grumbling more expletives at him as you try to shut it in his face. "um, y/n?"

"what."

"you gonna shower with him?" jeonghan asks, pointing to your new friend. "i gotta admit, i'm a little jealous-"

"oh my god," you groan, grabbing the skeleton and throwing it at jeonghan with a comical clangor of plastic bones. "i hate you."

"love you too baby," jeonghan laughs as he closes the door for you, hefting the skeleton over his shoulder to go hide him in another corner of the house.

-

a few days later (jeonghan has hid the skeleton twice now), you come home from a date, dopey smile still on your face. you gasp when you see a body on the couch, thinking it's that stupid skeleton again. you breathe a sigh of relief when you realize it's a snoozing jeonghan instead. he looks angelic, his soft features shining brightly even in the dark room, illuminated by the tv. you don't realize that you're staring, nor do you realize jeonghan is peeking at you, the sound of the door waking him up.

"hey," he calls quietly, startling you. "sorry. i can go back to sleep and you can keep staring."

"i wasn't staring," you say defensively.

"sure," jeonghan nods, checking you out. "you look nice."

"who's staring now?" you ask as you cross to the kitchen. "i went out to dinner, but the portions were too small. do you want something to eat?"

"no, i'm good!" jeonghan calls. "was it a fancy place?"

"what?" you ask, coming back into the living room with a bag of chips. "i couldn't hear you."

"where you ate," he clarifies. "you dressed up, the servings were small, must have been a fancy place this guy took you to."

"how'd you know i was on a date?" you pout.

"y/n, i know you better than anyone else," jeonghan chuckles. "it was obvious. how'd it go?"

"good," you nod, ears burning under jeonghan's close attention. "don't wanna jinx it though."

"ok," jeonghan nods. "well i'm glad it was a good date. you deserve one of those."

"how was your night?" you ask. jeonghan shifts on the couch so there's room for you to sit and join him. once you're settled he explains how his friend seungcheol had come over for drinks, but he left a little while ago.

"i think he's got a girlfriend and doesn't want to tell me," jeonghan says, "because he feels bad that i'm not seeing anybody."

"you want me to find you a lady?" you tease. "you know my friends love you, i'm sure it'd be easy.''

"no," he shakes his head so some of his hair falls in his eyes. it makes it easier for him to stare at you without you noticing. "i'm good."

"well, it's a standing offer," you say as you get up to return the chips to the pantry. when you walk back through the living room, you ask, "where's jack tonight? i'm about to shower, i don't want another heart attack."

"i put the skeleton in your bed," jeonghan smiles with an impish glint in his eyes. "i figured it would be a nice surprise for the poor sap you might have brought home."

"you're annoying."

"thanks!" jeonghan chirps, and you laugh before telling him goodnight. he watches you go, smiling at something on your phone. jeonghan feels a pang in his chest ever so slightly, but he shakes it off, turning the tv off before he goes back to sleep trying not to think about you.

-

the following week, you're acting off. jeonghan notices immediately, but he doesn't bring it up to you at first. he's not sure if maybe work is stressing you, or maybe you've got family stuff going on...whatever it is, he'll give it a day or two before he checks on you, knowing how you like having time to yourself before someone swoops in to help.

the reality is, you really like this guy you've been talking to. that first date was amazing, and you wanted to go out with him again as soon as possible. you talk all the time, always ducking into your room when he calls while you're around jeonghan. you're actually ignoring jeonghan a lot, which you feel bad about, but you just can't get enough of this new guy. even though you're talking a lot, it's hard to set up another date with him because you're both busy with work. you've got plans to hang out on sunday, and for the first time in a long time, you're excited for a date. not nervous, not dreading it, just pure schoolgirl crush excitement.

that's why it's so crushing when, a few hours before, the guy texts you and cancels. you play it off at first, asking when he's free to reschedule, but his response is basically telling you to get lost. it hurts your feelings more than it should, because he is just some loser dude, but you also didn't know him that long. you have no reason to be so devastated over this, but you are.

jeonghan knew about your second date with this guy, so he made plans to be out of the house for as long as possible on sunday. as selfish as it was, he didn't want to be there for the giddy getting ready (you always ask him for outfit advice and he always tells you that you look great) or for the nervous pacing while you waited for the guy to pick you up (jeonghan always distracts you with jokes to calm your nerves). he also didn't want to be there after the date, if you happened to bring the lucky guy home. so he's out running errands, bothering his friends, and killing time until he's sure he won't walk in on anything he doesn't want to see.

when jeonghan gets home, it's late. after his day of farting around he went to his friend wonwoo's apartment for a while to heckle him while he played video games, and wonwoo finally kicked him out.

"don't you need to go home to your girlfriend?" wonwoo had teased, and jeonghan kicked him from his spot on the couch.

"y/n's my best friend and my roommate."

"so basically your girlfriend," wonwoo smiles that little smile of his, and it annoys jeonghan.

"she doesn't think of it like that," jeonghan mumbles, looking for his phone so he can head home anyway.

"because you're being too subtle."

"i'm not trying to be anything!" jeonghan says defensively. "i don't want her to know."

"why not?" wonwoo asks, finally turning to look at his friend. "you afraid she'll say no? because we all think-"

"i'll see you later, ok?" jeonghan says quickly, his shoes barely on as he tries to unlock the door. "hope cheol doesn't kill you again."

"in his dreams," wonwoo mumbles, his attention effectively back on the game and off of jeonghan.

jeonghan comes home to a mostly dark apartment, the stove light in the kitchen the only indication that you got home before him. he stops at the door to make sure there's no...unpleasant sounds coming from elsewhere, and when he's met with silence he kicks his shoes off carefully before heading to his room. he's exhausted, hiding from you all day being a good way to wear a person out. when he passes by your room something catches his ear, and his heart stops. were you moaning?

jeonghan knows he shouldn't, but he presses his ear against your door, telling himself he's only doing this so he can decide if he needs to stay somewhere else tonight. he's waiting to hear another voice, a man's voice, but he's met with a quiet whimper, followed by some sniffles. his heart roars back to life hearing that, almost breaking to pieces when he realizes you're not moaning, you're in your room crying. he's opening the door before he knows what he's doing, and you jump out of your skin at the unwelcome intrusion.

"go away," you whisper. jeonghan ignores you, coming to your bedside and looking down at you with concern in his eyes. "jeonghan, please. go away-"

"why are you crying?" he asks, and you don't say anything. "what did that asshole do?"

"nothing," you sniff again, willing your tears to stay back as you try to appease your roommate long enough for him to decide you're fine and leave you alone. "h-he was bu-busy and had to cancel-"

"fuck him."

"yeah, whatever," you say shakily. "it doesn't matter. i'm fine. now leave. please." your eyes are closed, trying to hide the tears that are welling up, and jeonghan is so quiet you assume he left, but he's trying not to let his own emotions show as he calls your name.

"y/n," jeonghan whispers, and when you look up at him you can't help it. you start crying again seeing him so upset over you being so upset, and before long you're back to bawling your eyes out. you barely register jeonghan cooing softly at you, climbing into bed and scooping you up into his arms. his lips are pressing soft kisses up and down your hairline, and it makes you cry even more. this is what you want, you think. this is what you need, what you've been missing. you want a boyfriend that will care for you like jeonghan does, that will be there for you like jeonghan is. it physically hurts you to think that you may never have that, that there's a possibility you'll never feel that kind of romantic love from someone. and you want to say that, you want to tell jeonghan why he came home to you pathetically crying so much, but he doesn't care. he just wants you to stop, so he'll hold you in his arms whispering sweet jokes to you until there's no more tears. he gets the slightest smile out of you right before you doze off, hands bunched into his shirt holding on for dear life. jeonghan holds you tighter, pressing one last kiss to the tip of your snotty nose before he drifts off to sleep with you.

-

you wake up later, not quite in the morning, but a few hours have passed. you're not used to sharing a bed with someone, especially when that person has such a vice grip on you as jeonghan does. once your mind has registered that you're awake, you also feel the burn of someone's eyes on you. sure enough, when you peek into the darkness of your room you see jeonghan staring back, eyebrows creased and teeth nibbling his bottom lip.

"stop chewing your lip," you tell him, reaching out to tug it from between his teeth. "i'm fine. you don't need to worry about me."

"wrong," he replies, watching you intensely as he brushes a strand of hair behind your ear. the quiet that follows has your face heating up, and the heat spreads through the rest of your body. it feels like every point where jeonghan's body is pressed against yours is on fire, and you want to pull away. but you don't.

"why aren't you in your room."

"because i wanted to sleep here," he replies. "i hope that's ok."

"it's not-"

"bummer," jeonghan cuts you off. "i'm not leaving."

"i'm not crying anymore though," you point out. "so. i'm fine."

"nope," he shakes his head. his bangs fall back into his eyes, and you think briefly he must need a haircut, but you hope he doesn't get one. the long hair suits him, even if it keeps him from seeing sometimes. you don't think about it, your hand unclenching his shirt and instead reaching up to brush his hair out of his face. jeonghan watches you carefully, and your breath gets caught in your throat when you look back down to his eyes. he's staring at you so intensely you can feel it in your chest, and that's when it hits you: jeonghan. you want a boyfriend like jeonghan. well! jeonghan's right here! what are you gonna do about it?

"jeonghan, i..." you trail off, staring at him like you're seeing him in a new light. he waits patiently for you to go on, thinking you might explain the situation a little more, but you don't know what to say. you just get hit with the intense need to bury your face in his chest, breathing in his scent and listening to his heartbeat as you fall back asleep.

"what?" he asks, trying to encourage you to keep speaking.

"um, can i just-" you try, but instead of speaking you just nuzzle into his chest, nose at the base of his neck tickling his skin. "i want to go back to sleep."

"then sleep baby," he whispers as he squeezes you tighter, afraid to let go. as you fall asleep, you let your hands relax against his chest, one of them laid right over his racing heart.

-

the next morning, you wake up to an empty bed and almost convince yourself you dreamed up jeonghan last night. like an oasis in the desert, he came to you when you needed him most. a little part of you wishes it wasn't real so you could go back to a time where you didn't know your true feelings for jeonghan, but your mussed sheets proves it wasn't a dream. jeonghan's scent is still lingering on your extra pillow, and you take a deep breath and remember how it felt to be wrapped up in your best friend.

jeonghan comes back into your room with two coffees in hand and he sees you nuzzling your face into the spot where his head laid just minutes ago. he lets you wallow for a moment before he calls your name softly. you jump up, cheeks warming as you look at jeonghan in your doorway.

"morning," he smiles. he hands you your coffee, your cold hands brushing his and sparking warmth across his skin. he stops himself from leaning down to kiss your forehead, knowing that whatever intimacy you shared last night is probably left in the past. you were sad, and jeonghan was there to comfort you. he'd happily do that a million times over, but he doesn't think you feel the same way he does.

"jeonghan, i'm sorry about last night," you try to apologize, but he shakes his head.

"don't," he stops you. "i would do it again if you needed it."

"well if you find me crying over some loser again tonight you have full permission to slap me," you tell him. "one night was enough."

"noted," he laughs, awkwardly standing in your room, unsure if he can get back into bed with you. you pick up on the way his eyes keep flitting from you to his spot, and you pat the empty space so he'll sit down.

"stop being weird," you say, bumping shoulders with him once he's comfortably next to you again. "so how'd you sleep?"

"pretty good," he starts out, "but there was this really annyoing sound coming from your side of the bed?"

"oh you mean me crying?"

"no, like this really loud, obnoxious snoring, kinda like-" jeonghan starts demonstrating, sending you into a fit of giggles and a pushing match to get him to stop.

"i think that was you!" you shriek, carefully trying not to spill your coffee. "don't spill that in my bed, i'll kill you."

"and then who are you gonna cuddle at night?" jeonghan asks, regretting it when he feels the tension between you both.

"i could always cuddle with jack," you joke to break the awkwardness, and jeonghan rolls his eyes.

"i hate that you named the skeleton."

"the skeleton is a guest in our home," you tease him. "show him some respect."

"whatever, freak," he says before downing the rest of his coffee. he gets an idea then, turning to you to ask, "what are you doing today?"

"um, nothing except work," you reply. "but you know my job is barely real so i'm basically doing nothing."

"let's go get coffee," jeonghan says, a playful look in his eyes.

"we just had coffee," you point out.

"no, no, we'll get good coffee, you can do some work, i'll watch you do some work, it'll be great," he insists, getting up and pulling you out of bed with him.

"if you're still trying to cheer me up i swear i'm fine," you say through your laughter, pressing back against jeonghan trying to push you toward your closet. "you don't need to take me for coffee or do anything else to make me feel better. i'm fine now."

"glad to hear it," he smiles softly, squeezing your hand that's clasped firmly in his. "but i still want to get coffee, so get dressed or everyone at the cafe will see you in that god forsaken t shirt."

the t shirt in question is one that jeonghan found for you during one of your goodwill visits. for whatever reason, it says 'i shaved my balls for this' and it got the biggest laugh from you all night, so jeonghan had to bring it home. despite being awful colors (light blue paired with neon yellow) it's actually quite comfortable, and you love the way it makes jeonghan laugh every time you wear it. it's unironically become your favorite sleep shirt, but you are mortified at the thought of anyone aside from your best friend seeing you in it. you quickly change, grabbing your work laptop from your desk before you head into the living room to find jeonghan waiting for you.

it's not unusual for him to take you out on random adventures, but this one feels different. he stays closer to you than normal, insists on buying your drink, and you catch him actually watching you work.

"get a hobby," you mumble, looking down at your laptop so he hopefully won't see your blushing cheeks.

"this is my hobby," he says. "i'm hanging out with my favorite person."

"seungcheol's going to be very sad to hear he's been demoted," you tease.

"he knows where he stands," jeonghan says, still watching you intently. you can't take it anymore, staring back at him.

"seriously, pretend to read or something! you're distracting me."

"i'm distracting you?" he smiles. "why? i'm not doing anything."

"i'm sending this email and then we're leaving," you say, and he shrugs.

"if you want, baby."

baby. it hits you harder this time, jeonghan's silly little nickname for you. you thought it started off as a sarcastic thing, but recently you feel like it sounds sweeter and sweeter coming from his lips. after last night, it makes your heart skip a beat, and that's when it hits you: are you on a date with jeonghan right now?!

"wait. waitwaitwait. hold on," you say, pointing at jeonghan and then yourself. "is this a date? are we on a date?"

"what? no baby," he shakes his head, and now you're confused. "no, if we were on a date you'd know."

"what's that supposed to mean?" you squeak out.

"do you want us to be on a date right now?" jeonghan counters, and you know your blushing cheeks have you in trouble. "you do?"

"i-i don't know-"

"hm, you wanna go on a date with me," jeonghan says matter of factly. "well, that's good to know."

"what are you doing?" you ask as he starts cleaning up his space.

"oh i need to go back to the apartment," he says. "gotta get my laptop so i can start planning a date that's worthy of you. i'll see you at home?"

"jeonghan, what?" you're left sputtering as he heads to the door, not looking back even though he knows your staring. he's afraid you'll see the excited/nervous shake in his hands, so he needs to go cool off. well, that and plan the best date of your entire life. he's got a lot of ground to cover. thankfully, the idiots you usually grace your time with have set the bar pretty low. jeonghan is determined to bring it higher, so high in fact that you won't be able to go on another first date without comparing it to his. if things go right though, maybe you won't have to go on a first date ever again.

-

jeonghan left the coffeeshop before you, so it would make sense if he was at the apartment when you got back, right? wrong. you come home about an hour later to an empty home, no sign of jeonghan. you think that's fine, it gives you a chance to actually get some work done. but jeonghan being mia has you a little nervous. what's he doing? he said he was going to plan a date. for you. and him. you and jeonghan...on a date? that's crazy.

you've done a good job ignoring that whole concept, trying to get ahead on a project you need to present later this week. you're so hyperfocused that the whole day goes by before you realize it, and when you finally emerge from your room you really expect to find jeonghan in the living room. he's still gone, so you decide to text him, asking casually if he would be home for dinner. the domesticity isn't lost on you, and it makes jeonghan smile when he gets it. he decides to call instead of texting back, balancing his phone against his shoulder and his cheek once you pick up.

"you miss me or something?" he asks, and you can hear the smile in his voice.

"i was just curious," you reply nonchalantly. "you've been missing all day."

"i've been busy."

"oh ok."

"i'll be home soon though," he tells you. "don't make dinner, just make sure you're dressed in an hour."

"for what?"

"a surprise."

"i need more information and you know that," you scoff, and you hear jeonghan chuckle.

"dress nice, but not fancy. and wear something blue so we'll match," he explains, and you feel your cheeks warm. "i gotta go, but i'll see you soon, baby."

hearing that coming from jeonghan now makes your heart skip a beat, and it makes you wonder if you've always felt like this and you just didn't notice. you keep thinking about him as you get ready, steaming out a dress you were planning to wear on a date that didn't happen. it's a soft blue with long sleeves and a low tie in the front. you worry for a moment that it might be too revealing, but checking the time rushes you into action. you're almost ready when there's a knock at the front door, which you ignore. there's another knock, this time louder, so you grumble your way to the living room to peek through the peephole. you gasp when you see what's on the other side.

you throw the door open, revealing a visibly nervous jeonghan with a bouquet of flowers in his hands. he's wearing a blue shirt, almost the exact shade of your dress, and he openly stares at you with a happy smile and a look in his eyes that you've never seen before.

"jeonghan?" you ask, pulling him from his intense focus on your chest.

"y/n," he smiles, eyes flicking up to yours. "you look stunning."

"i'm not ready yet," you pout slightly, checking the time on your phone. "you weren't very specific about when you were coming home."

"you look perfect," he says, checking you out again. "what else could you need to do?"

"wouldn't you like to know?" you tease, and he rolls his eyes.

"i can give you ten minutes, but any longer than that and we'll be late."

"late for what?" you ask as he passes you the flowers. "these are beautiful by the way, carnations are-"

"your favorite, i know," he smiles softly. "you buy yourself a bunch almost every time you're at the grocery store."

"i can't remember the last time someone bought me flowers either," you mumble, opening the door enough for jeonghan to come inside. "what are you still doing out there? it's your house, come in."

"finish getting ready," he laughs at you, reaching for the flowers again. "i'm putting them in a vase, weirdo. you'll get them back when you're done getting pretty."

"i'll be back," you whisper, running off before he can see how nervous you just got. you try to calm your nerves as you finish your touch ups, panicking last minute over which shoes and purse go with your outfit.

jeonghan is sitting on the couch, your flowers in your favorite vase on the coffeetable. he perks up at the sound of you shuffling down the hallway, but he pouts when he sees you holding up all your shoes.

"y/n, we're gonna be late."

"i don't know which ones to wear," you say simply, and he smiles as he comes up to you, analyzing the choices. he picks the white shoes and the white purse.

"glad we're still keeping this tradition alive even though i'm the one taking you out this time," he says proudly, watching you get situated. you stand back up, mussing your hair one last time before he asks, "ready to go, beautiful?"

"i don't know why i'm so nervous," you tell him, taking his arm as you leave the apartment. "we hang out all the time."

"yeah, but this isn't us hanging out," jeonghan says as you wait for the elevator. "i'm taking you on the best date of your life. nerves are completely valid."

"are you nervous?" you whisper, leaning in so jeonghan gets a good whiff of your perfume that he loves finding traces of all through his life. he holds your gaze, eyes flicking down momentarily before he shakes his head.

"no, i thought i would be, but i'm not," he replies simply as you get on the elevator.

"ok good, so i'll just freak out for the both of us then."

"would you? that takes a lot of pressure off of me," jeonghan jokes, and you pinch his arm. "ouch! so mean to me when i've made the perfect night for you."

"and what does this perfect night entail?" you ask. jeonghan just shakes his head, leading you out into the lobby of the building. he takes you a different way, not walking to the parking garage but instead to the main entrance of your building. "jeonghan, are we walking there? i don't think i can make it in these shoes-"

you stop mid-sentence, spotting the shiny baby blue mustang convertible parked outside. you look at jeonghan, mouth open in surprise. he has to tug you down the hallway and out into the cool night air, helping you into the passenger seat with ease. you watch on in shock as he gets into the driver's side, finally cutting through the fog in your mind to ask, "do you even know how to drive this?"

"yeah," jeonghan says coolly, opening the glovebox to hand you a scrunchie of yours that he stole. "here, you might wanna put your hair up."

"you're insane," you tell him, playing with the scrunchie in your lap as he starts the car. you can't believe this so far, and the date's barely begun. what other surprises could he possibly have in store for you?

-

after a quick ride out of the city, you find yourself at a retro drive in that's completely empty. you have a sneaking suspicion jeonghan rented it just for the two of you tonight, but you don't have a chance to ask. once he parks, he's asking you to open the glovebox and you smile when you see the stack of movie theatre candy boxes he's stashed away. you take them out, turning back to jeonghan to see he's produced a tub of popcorn from somewhere and a couple of your favorite sodas. you stare at him with your mouth opening and closing like a fish and he just smiles proudly in return.

"jeonghan, what did you do?" you finally ask, and he laughs.

"do you like it?"

"what are we doing here?"

"watching a movie," he says obviously. he shifts the snacks, the drinks going into the holders by the radio and the popcorn and candy going on the dashboard. "come closer," he mumbles, tugging your arm. the smooth vinyl of the seats sending you flying into jeonghan's side, and you giggle nervously as you adjust your dress. jeonghan lays the snacks out over your laps and drapes his arm across your shoulders for good measure. he looks at you to gauge whether you're settled or not, and when he decides you're ready he presses on the horn once. the screen in front of you lights up, and you gasp as you see the opening credits for your favorite movie flashing before you.

"where did you get the idea to do this?" you ask him with a smile, taking a few pieces of popcorn to give you something to do with your hands.

"just thought it would be something different," he shrugs, and you leave it at that. you can barely focus on the movie, hyperaware of how warm jeonghan is next to you and how every glance he casts your way sends your heart racing faster and faster. a few minutes into it, you remember your hair is still tied up from the ride, so you shuffle out of jeonghan's grasp to pull the scrunchie down and reset yourself. you know jeonghan is watching, so you mumble, "watch the movie, weirdo."

"i've seen it before," he whispers back, eyes still heavy on you. "i'm not missing anything."

"you've seen me before too," you point out, leaning back into his side once you're done moving around. "quite a lot, actually."

"yeah, but i've never seen you on a date before," he says. "and on a date with me? whoa. i gotta soak it all in."

you turn to look at him then, admiring the way his hair falls so slightly into his eyes, the way his lips stretch over his shy smile, how his eyes glisten when they meet yours. you could kick yourself for not noticing any of this sooner. who knew you had exactly what you were looking for right here?

"jeonghan, i-" you start, but realize you don't have the words to tell him what you want to say. you stop, staring at him with your brows furrowed cutely.

"what, baby?" he laughs, his thumb coming up to trace the creases in your forehead. "you're gonna give yourself premature wrinkles like this."

"why are you doing this?" you ask quietly. "why are you so...wonderful? all the time?"

"because," he shrugs, his hand falling from your forehead to rest just below your chin. "i've been trying to show you what it would be like. took you long enough to come around."

"show me what?" you ask confused.

"what it's like being loved by me," he smiles back. you feel your breath catch in your throat, and you want to say something. you want to tell him how you feel, how you're sorry it took you so long, how you love every moment you spend with jeonghan by your side. instead you just lean forward, lips brushing over his. you bring your hands up to his neck, wrapping them in the soft hair at the back of his head as you scoot impossibly closer and try to press all your love into this one kiss. jeonghan keeps his hold on your chin, thumb stroking softly at your cheek. he's the first one to pull back, laughing when you try to bring his lips back to yours so quickly. he leans his forehead against yours, soft hair tickling your skin as he asks, "so you get it now?"

"yeah," you nod, knocking your heads together and sending you both into a fit of giggles. jeonghan steals a few more kisses, and when you finally calm down he pulls you back into his side, squeezing you as close to him as possible. you lay your head down on his shoulder, pressing your lips into the closest part of him you can reach. "thank you, jeonghan. my jeonghan."

"my y/n," he sighs, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "my beautiful, kind, funny girl."

"stop staring," you whisper bashfully. "you're missing the movie."

"i'm not missing anything," he repeats, but he takes one last look at you before he kisses the top of your head and finally turns back to the screen. this might be your first date with jeonghan, but it certainly won't be your last.

[allherfuckingtears]

Got a secret, can you keep it?

Summary: Certain news leave you devastated as you walk into the hands of your not so gentle husband.

Characters: dark!Steve Rogers x wife!reader

Warnings: non/dubcon elements, allusion to sexual content, violence, (forced) pregnancy, power imbalance, dark elements

This story contains dark elements, be aware. 18+

Note: Just a little something for @cockslutpadalecki 15 sentence challenge. Haven't written anything in a long time, so bare with me.

__________________________________________

Soft snowflakes dance down the sky, landing on three inch blankets of snow covering once pristine green gras. The suns shines proudly, making the snow glisten like the 24-carat diamond resting heavy on your ring finger. But even the beautiful scenery doesn't reach you. A picture that once would have made you smile like a child on Christmas, now only suffocates you further. Fingers play with the tiny charm on your necklace, a nervous habit picked up when you were younger, as you stare out of the window of your prison, trying desperately to keep the tears and screams inside as the two blue lines mock you. 

You refuse to accept your fate. It can't be true. Not again. 

Tiny hands grab onto your forearm. "Mommy, Mommy", the voice startles you. "What is that?", curious fingers fish for the plastic stick sitting next to you. 

"Nothing, Jay", you push the test out of his reach, as it disappears in your back pocket. "Don't worry about it, baby." 

"Mommy, you've been crying! Why have you been crying?"

"What…" Your fingers meet wet cheeks. - You have been crying. "No, no", you stumble on your words, desperately wiping your face. "I'm okay"

"But you… you've been crying!" The blue eyes looking down at you start to glisten as James' voice turns shrill. 

Panic rises as you desperately try to placate the little human in front of you. You sush him as you pull him down on the floor and into your lap, "Mommy's fine - see", you force a smile on your lips. "Everything's fine, baby. It's okay", you whisper into his hair as tiny arms wrap around your throat. "Have you seen the snow? It's crazy, look", you turn him towards the window. 

"So pretty…" he mumbles, eyes gleaming. "Maybe we can go out and play?" Excitement rises and he's out of your arms and in front of the window before you can even blink. "Please, Mommy!"

"Sure, Jay. But you'll have to wear something warm, okay? It's very cold outside" Standing up you brace yourself on the wall as your head spins.

"Not Jay, Mommy. James. Daddy doesn't like it", he scolds you, voice serious.

A shudder crawls down your spine at the mention of his father. You swallow as you look at the blonde toddler, his spitting image. "Daddy, doesn't have to know".

"Daddy doesn't have to know what?", a deep voice echoes. You jump turning around, heart beating as Steve stands in the doorway. 

"Daddy!", the little boy in front of you squeals, running into the arms of his father. Steve scoops him up off the floor as his cold eyes meet yours. You gulp. 

"Steve…", the whisper escapes you before you can think of what you actually want to say. He's not supposed to be here. Not for the next four hours. Bile rises in the back of your throat as the plastic stick stabs you in your lower back. You're going to vomit, you're sure of it. He looks at you expectantly, gaze turning sterner when you don't move. When you don't greet him like he trained you to. 

"Y/N", his voice snaps, jaw ticking. "Now." 

But you can't. You can't. If you go to him now, if you give him the kiss he wants from you, he'll feel it. He'll feel the test. He'll know and there will be nothing you can do about it. No escaping your fate. Just like the last two times. You know you're done for when he lowers Jay on the ground, gaze still on you. 

"Go, check on your brother, James." He dismisses the boy. Jay looks at you before turning and running through the door. Leaving you alone. To unknowingly suffer at the hand of his father. 

"Kneel", the command comes as soon as his son is out of sight. "Before I fucking make you." You know you have no choice. If you don't do as he says, then he'll make you. This way, you might at least get a chance to hide the doom lingering in the back of your pocket once you inevitably have to ready yourself for your punishment. 

"Steve, please…", you plead as your knees hit the floor. You resume the familiar position, eyes down, palms up. You know exactly what to do. At this point it's basic instinct, a second nature forced onto you for the last four years. A barely audible whisper leaves your lips, a final entreaty before you inescapably have to give into his perverse fantasies, "Please… I'm sorry".

Colds hands find your chin, making you look at him. His thumb catches on your lip, pushing into your mouth. You hollow your cheeks, tongue swirling around the digit. Eyes pleading with him. His thumb presses on your tongue before he releases it with a loud pop. "Go on, baby. You know it's more fun for me when you beg."

[bri-licious08]

Beginning of an End

Chapter 1- Beginning of what?! The END?!

•Bakugou x Reader, Eren x Reader

On a day the LOV attacks Class 1A once again for what seemed as the 100th time to Y/N, the so called ¨Warp Shit¨, messed up the plan by teleporting Class 1A along with Pro Heroes EraserHead and All Might. When Y/N woke up she was in a grass field filled with trees beyond the distance. Before she can get up she was knocked back down by the earth shaking repeatedly. Once the shaking stopped she looked off toward the distance where the trees are in view she spotted a-Aaaaa....A giant human? Kinda reminded her of mount lady but um-....naked. The second it turned its large head towards the class´s direction, they knew they were screwed.

¨ Today you all will be going to the summer training camp so gear up. When I say everyone I mean everyone. I lied when I said if you failed your physical exam you don´t get to go. You do. Just means you´ll have extra classes after your training.¨ Aizawa Sensei said. 

¨WHAT OMG THIS IS GREAT! NOW WE´LL GET TO GO TOGETHER L/N CHAN!¨ Mina yelled right into my ear. My first reaction was to grab my poor innocent ears.

¨YA YA I HEARD! STOP YELLING INTO MY EAR JESUS!¨ I yelled back, still rubbing my ears. 

¨But did you not hear the part where Aizawa sensei said extra classes?¨ I stated, knowing I fucked up saying that because the next thing she´ll do is cry and whine….the whole ride… Ya I am not sitting with her anymore.

…..¨OH MY GOD I TOTALLY MISSED THAT PART!! AWWWW MAAANN NOW I CAN'T DO ALL THE FUN THINGS AT NIGHT!!¨ And just as I suspected. She ended up yelling and crying right into my ear again.

¨ Aww man your right. Now how am I supposed to spend time with my buzzy sunshine nugget?¨ Now apparently was Pikachu´s turn to cry apparently. Along with stating that annoying nickname he gave me which I secretly love because of how stupid it sounds. 

¨OI WOULD YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!¨ Aaaand there goes the ticking time bomb. It was about time he'd blow up. I smirked just by the thought. 

¨Enough yelling and whining gear up already and head to the bus. Unless you wanna get left behind. You all have 15 minutes to change, get your belongings and meet me at the bus outside the entrance. If you're late I won't hesitate to leave you here.¨ And with that Dadzawa walked out with his banana- like sleeping bag. 

I got up from my seat and walked over to the wall where our hero suits are and grabbed mine, number 8. ( I know someone else has that number but just deal with it please :D ) 

¨Hey! Y/n wait up!¨ I turned to see a cute short brunette rushing towards me. 

¨Hey Ochako! Whats up?¨ I asked.

¨Oh nothing I just wanted to walk with you!¨ She smiled. 

I then came up with a brilliant idea.

¨So you´ll come walking with me because you can´t walk with deku is that it?¨ I smirked. More like a shit eating grin plastered on my face. I just love making her flustered when it comes to Deku.

¨HUUUUH?! NO NO NO THAT'S NOT IT! THAT'S NOT IT AT ALL!¨ She squealed trying to tell me that wasn't the reason. Which is true. It really wasn't the reason. But I just wanted to tease her a bit. I started laughing hysterically as she made these weird quick hand movements like Ida does. My laughter died down and I began to speak again. 

¨I'm just messing with you Ochako. Come on let's hurry up and change before we´re late.¨ We both then sped to the girls changing room.

Once we were done changing I saw bakugou and ran up to him jumping on his back. I know it makes him pissed off and flustered. God I just love messing with him. Now that I think about it, I mess with a lot of people. Eh just my hobby I suppose. Not that I mind.

¨ OI WHAT THE FUCK!! GET OFF ME ANGEL FACE!!¨ Bakugou yelled trying to fling my arms off around his neck. Yes, even Bakugou has a nickname for me. But for some odd reason it´s angel face instead of something that matches my quirk or something about my looks-HEY I just realized he calls me angel face! Does that mean he thinks I'm pretty?! 

¨Awww thanks for the compliment Baku. Really appreciate it.¨ I teased leaning over his shoulder to see the left side of his face. His face went from light pink hue to a faint red one. 

¨THE FUCK YOU MEAN! I NEVER COMPLIMENTED YOU FLEA BAG!¨ Ah. There it is. The insulting nickname he gives.

¨Well you called me angel face earlier soooo just thought of that as a compliment, telling how your nicknames go based on quirks or ya know...looks.¨ I grinned knowing I definitely caught him. Like a fish swimming straight into a fisher's net….or hook. I don't know. 

¨WHAT NO I-....I-....I DON'T ALRIGHT!¨ Bakugou rebutted. I smirked seeing his face now a bright red hue.I chuckled and got off his back seeing how we were already at the bus. Once I spotted Todoroki I started walking towards him but was stopped by someone grabbing my shoulder. I turned and saw the ash blonde staring at the ground still gripping my shoulder. I was confused but didn't move away from his hold. I stared at him and when he finally looked at me he opened his mouth to talk but before something came out another voice interrupted.

¨Alright times up everyone on the bus now.¨ Aizawa sensei said nonchalantly. 

I began heading towards the bus and was stopped again by the blonde. 

¨Ok what is your problem blasty? This is getting kinda annoying.¨ I asked starting to get pissed off by his actions. ¨I-Sit-uhh...BE MY SITTING PARTNER DAMN ANGEL FACE!¨ Bakugou blurted out. I blinked a couple times confused by his sudden yelling and what he yelled. Apparently I wasn't the only one surprised because the baku squad and deku squad stood shookith. Once I finally processed what he said I blinked once more and decided to tease him a bit before I accepted his offer.

¨But we don't need sitting partners B-a-k-a-gou.¨ I then giggled. He became even more flustered and his face was the color of class 1As rare species of a red land shark. My bestie Kirishima noticed as well and chimed in. ¨Yeah Bakubro. We don't need sitting partners, buuut if we did, would you wanna be mine Bakubro? Unless you would rather have Y/n-chan as your partner?¨ Kiri smirked.

¨Of course I would rather be partners with her shitty hair!¨ Once he realized what he said he began scrambling for a new excuse. ¨ I MEAN I WOULD RATHER PUT UP WITH HER SHIT THAN YOURS SHITTY HAIR! SHE'S LESS ANNOYING TOO!¨ I mean I guess that's a nice save. I feel a tap on my shoulder while Bakugou and Kiri keep on arguing and teasing. I turn and see todo. I smiled seeing my other best friend. ¨Hey Todo wassup?¨ ¨Wanna sit with me on the bus?¨”My eyes grew wide with stars in them. ¨ REALLY?¨ I asked in a high pitched voice. ¨Yes. I would like to spend time with you during the trip to our destination. ¨ He confessed. ¨ OF COURSE I WOULD!¨ I squealed in delight jumping onto him and hugging him. He quickly returned the hug. 

¨ OI ICY-HOT! THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING HAH?!¨ I laughed already knowing from experience where this is going. 

¨ALRIGHT! Enough on the bus. Now!¨ Dadzawa said, finally fed up with his children's shenanigans.  We all quickly boarded the bus and I noticed Bakugou sitting alone so I grabbed Todoroki´s hand and led him in that direction. I sat next to Bakugou and since he was sitting in the back there was a row full of seats so I sat next to Baku and Todo sat down on my left.

* * *

Time Skip

It turns out I fell asleep on a sleeping, red blushing, angry looking pomeranian, while a sweet candy cane fell asleep on my left side. Before I could say anything the bus swerved for a good 10 seconds. I grabbed onto Baku´s arms while Todoroki grabbed onto my left side. Once the swerving stopped everyone quickly stood up from their seats. Aizawa sensei and All Might asked the class if they were alright. They then checked the bus driver and saw how he had hit the side of the mountain and got his foot stuck between the dented vehicle.  Once they had freed him they asked me if I could heal him. I walked over quickly and kneeled down in front of our driver. Ugh I hate this part of healing. I reached down to his forehead and  kissed it. My hand quickly reached my mouth and cleaned it in disgust. God why did I have to heal people that way.

¨ Oi Bakubro. You probably wish our driver was you right now huh?¨ Kiri asked Baku.

¨WH-WHAT N-NO I D-DON'T!¨ Bakugou claimed while his face turned red again. Tooroki came up to me and placed his hand on my shoulder. ¨Was it awful?¨ He smiled. LIKE ACTUALLY SMILED?! 

¨Yeah it was¨ I laughed. He chuckled a bit until the bus began shaking again and voices were heard outside the bus. Aizawa and All Might told us to stay back and be aware. It might be a villain attack. They rushed out and the fight began. I ran to the back of the bus then sprinted forward breaking the front window then using Bakugou´s quirk as a smoke screen to blind everyone. Once my classmates got out of the bus more villains appeared. And to my ¨Horror¨ crispy dick was here. 

¨Oh? Well if it isn't U.As prettiest little flower. How nice of you to come and see me princess.¨ The blue flame villain Dabi told me. My face grimaced in disgust. Sure maybe Dabi was slightly barely attractive. But I still wouldn't date a villain. Plus he's probably way older. I then got into my fighting stance waiting for him to make the first move. I take a sharp right turn ducking and swiping my left leg. I hear a grunt. Once I finished turning I saw a blonde psychotic blonde girl with a high school uniform falling to the ground face first. I then started sprinting towards Dabi, then using Bakugou´s quirk to blast him. Once the smoke cleared Dabi wasn't there. I quickly turned around but got punched in the face. Before I fell down I reached out and grabbed Dabi´s coat and pulled him down with me. Once we fell I landed with my back against the ground and Dabi right next to me in the same position.

I then quickly punched him on the right side of his face and rolled onto the left side of my body, then kicked my right leg up to his chin. I then jumped on top of him freezing his hands to the ground along with his legs. I then backed away from him and turned to see Aizawa pinned to the ground by Shigaraki/Chapped lips. Before I could rush over and save the man I see as my father besides all might I was surrounded by a dark purple and black mist/void. 

¨What the-?¨I asked no one in particular. 

I was then sucked into it followed by my screams of panic. I didn't know what to do. I have been kidnapped by them one before. I didn't want to go back another time. The first time was unforgettable. After the things Dabi had done was a nightmare. I can't. I won't go back. I- Once my eyes opened I saw nothing but green. As I was falling I couldn't help but scream. I shielded my face with my arms and then the excruciating pain came. I wheezed from the wind getting knocked out of my body along with my now broken bones. The next thing I knew was that I was knocked out. 

When I woke up I saw the bright beautiful baby blue sky. It was clear with only a few clouds here and there. I could hear the grass dancing with the wind as it flowed through the earth. The breeze brings life back into my body. I could feel my body healing on its own already, an advantage that comes with Recovery Girls quirk. I stayed laying on the ground. My body now relaxing from its tense state allowing all the pain that hid from the adrenaline to seize. 

I began to slowly start regaining the energy to move my body again. I propped myself up on my elbows, dozing off into the sky. The wind blew by once again making my hair flow through along with it. Of course my relaxing healing time was ruined by the one and only hot head. 

¨OI! Y/N!! Are you alright? Are you hurt?¨ Bakugou asked with panic in his voice. That-was honestly something I wouldn't expect from him. Bakugou caring? Wow. I think he hit his head while being teleported here. Actually now that I think about it… Where...is here exactly?... 

¨Yeah I'm fine. All healed up now. But Baku- Where are we?¨ I asked while looking around. His eyes then wondered over the area. ¨ I'm- not sure. That warp villain must have teleported us to the wrong place or something. Not like those fuck wits would bring us to a plain field of grass with a forest as its next door neighbor.¨ He said staring at a forest miles away from the single tree we were under. I looked back at him and asked,¨Hey baku, are you alright? Did you get injured from falling?¨ ¨No. Used my quirk to land. But you said you finished healing. How bad did you-¨ 

¨HEY GUYS OVER HERE!!¨ ¨MINA!!!¨ I yelled happily. I then darted over to the class who grouped up together again. It seems Aizawa sensei and All might found the class too. 

¨Alright follow me. I don't know where we are but we´ll find out eventually. Just follow me and stay close. No wondering off. This is a new land to us. We don't know anything about this place or where we are so stay alert.¨ Aizawa instructed.

¨YES SIR!¨ We called out. 

¨Hey Y/n! Don't ya think this is the beginning of a beautiful new adventure?!¨ Mina asked excitedly.  Before I could answer the ground began shaking repeatedly, knocking everyone either on the ground or off balance.  Once the shaking stopped I looked off toward the distance where the trees of the forest are in view. I then spotted a-Aaaaa....A giant human? Kinda reminded me of Mount Lady but um-....naked. The second it turned its large head towards the class´s direction, I knew we were screwed.

It then beelined towards us with a stupid smile on its face and a weird ass running stance. It was still at a good distance but man that thing could run. I turned my head towards Mina who was on the ground next to me and replied to her question.

¨The beginning? The beginning of what?! THE END ??¨

Hey readers!! This cross over series closely follows the Attack on Titan story line with characters from both animes MHA and AOT. This series of mine was firstly created on AO3 which has all chapters of the first season out. Unfortunately, it has been discontinued due to my personal life being so busy but I now have more time to continue this series. The original goal of this series has always been to complete this story till the end of the Attack on Titan series. I am a new writer who loves reading, writing, and imagining,lol. I have been dying to come back and have written new chapters and other stories on Bakugou and Eren during my absence on AO3 and have come across Tumblr and decided I will begin to write on both! If you liked this chapter and wish to read more of it feel free to visit my AO3 page although all chapters will be posted on this blog! This is a reader x Eren & Bakugou x reader fic so enjoy! Welcome to this blog and I hope we enjoy this wild adventure together! Oh, and feel free to leave tips or ideas to incorporate in my future works but as always be kind! Please let me know if you like this series or want more of it to be posted on Tumblr, thank you! Love ya! ;3

[bloodyknucklesforme]

Unopened and Unended | Price x F!OC

So tell me now, where was my fault In loving you with my whole heart? - "Blank White Page" by Mumford & Sons

Eight years ago John made a mistake and now with this envelope from the lab in his hands he wonders if he's about to make another one

He poured himself another glass of scotch. She said she was on her way twenty minutes ago. She only lived ten minutes away. He downed his drink again.

The large manila envelope sat unopened on the counter. Guilt pulled on his shoulders. He'd built up a bomb and left it there, ticking away.

It felt like the right thing to do at the time. Steal a toothbrush during a dinner party, send it to a friend of a friend, get the results. He had the courage to do all that but failed to accept the consequences.

Eight years of not knowing. Eight years of missing out. Eight years of seeing his daughter being raised by another man. No, he didn't raise her. He left her shoved to the side.

He should have done something eight years ago when her mother sat next to him in his car and broke his heart.

"John, we have to stop." Poppy said. He could tell she'd been crying since she got in the car. He reached out to comfort her and she knocked his hands away.

"Does he know?" John asked.

"No. He doesn't know anything."

The guilt was getting to her. Cheating on her husband for months now. Meeting him in pub bathrooms and secluded parking lots. They were young. Him, twenty three. Her, twenty six. She was married young, fresh from uni to an SAS captain ten years her senior that promised her the world. He was rich, offered comforts John couldn't dream of.

William was an emotionally neglectful cunt who ignored her unless it was to fuck which she said was becoming more often. He wanted a baby but they were struggling. He'd been a bastard to her about it.

He was also John's superior officer.

"Pip, you don't have to stay with him." His mantra to her. He could take care of her. He wasn't rich but he had a modest savings. They could make it work. He wanted to make it work. It started with a soft kiss as he walked her home from the pub one night. He fell hard for her.

Her laugh, her paintings, the way her hair smelled. He hated William more and more each day.

"I do."

"Pip, you don't." He wanted to convince her. Leave with him right now. Let him take care of her. "I know you're not happy. I want to make you happy. Pip, please-"

"John, I'm pregnant." The air in the car felt heavier, it weighed down his lungs.

"Is it min-"

"It's his. It has to be his."

"Pip."

"I just need it to be. I need to have this baby. I need them to go to a good school and to not have to worry about their parents keeping the heat on. I need William to be the father because that's what best for him."

"Him?"

"He wants a son."

"What a cunt."

"John!"

"What am I supposed to say Poppy? Congratulations? You're telling me you're taking my child away!"

"They're not yours!"

"Seven years fucking him and you couldn't pop one out but six months with me and you're expecting."

"Fuck you."

"You already have." He snapped.

She started crying again. John's heart sank.

"Poppy, I'm sorry." He reached out for her and she flinched away. He let his hand fall to the center console. "I love you. I love that baby. I know I'm not rich like him. I don't have the family name or an estate. I'll work however much I need to send them in a good school. Private and everything. You won't have to work. You can paint all you want. I'll do it, Pip. I'll do it for you. Don't shake your head. You know I will. I love you."

"I'm sorry, John." She got out of the car and slammed the door behind her. He watched as she got into her car and drove away.

They'd barely had a full conversation since then. It didn't stop him from texting her in the following months.

He didn't meet Nina till she was almost a year old. The Irons' Christmas party. She could walk. They had her in a little frilly pink dress and she kept taking off her shoes. She walked right up to him and clung to his leg. Poppy gave him a worried look as he picked her up.

"You're lucky, Captain. Two beautiful girls." He forced a smile.

"Suppose I am." William was not as good of an actor as John was.

There was a banging on the front door. Poppy glared at him as he opened it.

"You're a fucking asshole, John." She snapped, forcing her way inside. "Doing a DNA test behind my back?"

"I have a right to know." He was trying to remain calm.

"What's your plan then? Destroy my marriage? I am happy now, John. William and I are happy. "

"It's not about you, Poppy. It's about Nina. She's not happy."

"You don't know anything about my family."

"I know she thinks her dad doesn't love her! I can see how she follows him around like a lost dog and he kicks her away just like one."

"He just doesn't get on with young children. It'll be different when she's older."

"So it's okay now is it?"

"Of course it's not okay!" She yelled. "But I am trying! I am trying to fix things before the baby. We're in counseling. He's spending more time with her. He-"

"You're pregnant again?" He looked her over more carefully. She had a small bump, nearly unnoticeable now.

"I am."

He thought about being cruel. Asking who she fucked to get pregnant this time. The words died in his mouth as he shook his head.

"Oh fuck off John."

"You see how he treats Nina and you have another kid with him? What if he still doesn't get the son he wanted? You're going to bring some other little girl into a house where she isn't loved?"

"Nina is loved!"

"By who?"

"Me! She's my baby! She's mine! She's mine, John! I grew her! I talked to her everyday, I painted her nursery. I had her, alone!"

He tried to hide his shock. He didn't know she was alone when she gave birth.

"I fed her. I changed her. I got up every night with her when she had colic. How fucking dare you say I don't love her. How fucking dare you!"

She was crying, running her hands through her hair.

"She came from me. I don't know if you're her father or not but I'm her mum. No one else. You can't take her from me."

"You think I'm going to take her away? Poppy..." He always pictured some sort of joint custody.

"All I have are my babies. If you come for her, he'll take this one away," she laid her hands protectively over her stomach. "I don't have money to fight in court. He will take my baby away."

"I wouldn't let that happen." He'd pay for lawyers for her. He was a captain now.

"You'd lose your job. You slept with your superior's wife. They will strip you of everything."

"I don't care about that. I care about her and I care about you." John would burn it all down for them. Part of him still loved her. Wished that he'd stopped her from driving away, got on his knees and begged.

Poppy shook her head.

"We were young and we were incredibly stupid. And it's not fair to you or her what we did. I am sorry that I have hurt you. I don't deserve any mercy from you but I am begging that whatever you find in that letter that it stays with you."

"If she's mine, I can't not do something."

"And what if it's wrong? Whatever sample you managed to get, wasn't enough. You sue for custody and then she's not actually yours. You will have destroyed my marriage, your own career, and you will hurt a little girl that already loves you. You will never see her again."

John leaned against the wall. The idea of a false positive never crossed his mind. He loved Nina. He was always confident that she was his, that part of him made her. But there were times when she furrowed her brow just like William. He'd still love her if she wasn't his. She was a good kid, sweetest little thing. He didn't know how he'd tell her.

"I'm not actually your dad's friend, I'm your real dad. Why haven't I raised you? Your mother and I had an affair. What's an affair? It's when someone who's in a relationship has a relationship with someone else."

He sighed in defeat. He grabbed the envelope off the counter and threw it into the trashcan.

"Thank you, John." She wiped her face. "I am sorry. Truly sorry."

He didn't respond, just stared into the bin.

"I loved you too and if I didn't get pregnant I would left him for you."

"That doesn't make me feel better, Pip."

"I'm sorry." She repeated. She left quietly some time after that.

John reached into the bin and pulled out the envelope. He went up to his office and unlocked the safe in the closet. He laid the envelope inside. It felt like throwing her away in a sense. He could tell himself he didn't need to open it, he knew she was his. If he opened it, she might not be.

He shut the safe.

He got a package a week later. A photo album filled with pictures of Nina ranging from when she was a newborn to now.

John cried as he flipped through it. Some pictures she looked like him. Others like William. More often than not though she looked like her mum.

He laid the album in the safe with the envelope. His little girl locked away from him.

When i said the Restaurant AU would be messy I fucking meant it. No one can keep it in their pants.

Price will tell himself he doesn't love Poppy anymore but was absolutely devastated when she died. Told her grave "I'll take care of our little girl. I promise. I'll take care of her." and then bought Nina a whole flat to live in, gave her a job, makes sure she's okay. Might even pay for her to go to that fancy pastry school in France.

Tags: : @water-bearz @gogh-with-the-flow @queen-ilmaree @macravishedbymactavish

[crypticjackal13]

I’m having quite the terrible day. Do you mind writing a Mayor one shot of reader ignoring him since they’re absolutely stressed out and Mayor gets worried and checks on them?

I'm sorry to hear about your day. I hope this cheers you up a bit!

"Team Work"(677 w.c)

Mayor x GN!Reader

Platonic Comfort Oneshot!

Pronouns: they/them

CW: stress, slight breakdown

The Mayor knew how much his lovely intern enjoyed their job with him at the office. He tried to make things as fun as he could with what he was given, which honestly wasn’t a lot simply because…well, it was politics. His intern met every deadline, went to every meeting, really did more than asked of them and he could never truly show them how grateful he was for them. But as of late they were ignoring him. Always writing notes. Always rushing to and fro. He hardly had the speed to catch up with them and ask them what was going on. But that stopped today—he was going to call a meeting with them directly so he could figure out what was wrong.

He sat at his large desk and fiddled with some loose pencils while he waited for them to enter. If he was correct—he usually was—they would be here in three, two…

“Ah, sorry I’m late! I wasn’t watching the time, I got caught up in some emails—“

“Y/n, relax. You’re right on time.” He cut them off, gesturing to the seat across from him. He saw a little weight leave their shoulders, but he could also see how much remained. Yikes.

“Oh. That’s good, then!” They sat down stiffly. It was like they were a ticking time bomb, bound to explode any second. “What’s going on? What can I do?”

“Well, what you can do for starters is tell me why you’ve been ignoring me. I hope I haven’t done anything to upset you.”

“No, no, not at all! I’ve just been trying to get everything done and it’s all on my own.” They waved their hands to dismiss the thought. His smile remained consistent, however his brows furrowed. Now that they were across from him, he could see the deep dark circles under their eyes.

“Why are you doing it on your own? You’re not supposed to do my whole job for me!”

“I just don’t want to stress you out. You should be able to relax!” They insisted.

“Dear y/n, I appreciate that. But trust me. I’ve got the right balance of work and life. However you seem to have the opposite. According to the charts, you’ve been pulling a lot of overtime. And my suspicion is that you’ve been going even beyond that at home.”

He tried to meet their eyes. But they only stared at the ground as their frown deepened. He could see them trying not to cry.

“Y/n? Here, have some water, alright? Take your time and talk to me.” He reached into the mini fridge he had under his desk and handed them a small bottle of water that they took with tremorous hands. But once they had successfully opened it, the first tears fell. From there, the whole dam burst open, and he got up and went around his desk to console them with a box of tissues in hand.

“I’m sorry, sir. I really am. I don’t know what to do.” They sobbed. Their shoulders were hunched in as they gripped at their own arms.

“No need for apologies, alright? I promise. You’re not in trouble, no one is upset at you. In fact, everyone is quite impressed with you!” He patted them on the back. “You need to tone it down. I will help you to split work evenly between you and me, okay? We’re a team!”

“Yeah, we are!” They laughed in between tears. He stayed with them, and when his phone rang, he went and told them to call back later. This was far more important, in his opinion.

“Do me a favor. Go on your lunch break—do not take any kind of work with you—and then when you get back, come see me. We’ll sort you out. Does that sound good?”

Their sobs had reduced to sniffles by now and he was happy to see them able to breathe properly again. They nodded and dusted themselves off.

“Thank you, Mayor. I appreciate it.”

“Anytime, dear y/n.”

[hippiegoth97]

Last Christmas: An Eddie Munson x Reader Holiday Story Pt. 2

Description: You and the gang play White Elephant, opening and stealing one another's gifts. You end up with a present you least expect, and share a dance with friends. When you and Eddie take a turn on the dance floor, things get a little too close for comfort. Can you and Eddie salvage your relationship, or are you too far gone?

Warnings: swearing, female reader, drug use, alcohol use, angst, heartbreak, crying, light smut mention, fluff

Last Christmas Pt. 2

A crowded room, friends with tired eyes...

Eddie's POV

You watch silently as Y/N walks towards the rear of Harrington's humble home with Robin and Argyle to have a little smoke session. Usually you'd join them, since you're quite the stoner yourself. But you can see you're far from welcome, she wants absolutely nothing to do with you. Her words earlier, no feelings at all, ring in your head over and over. "You good, Munson?" Steve asks once the trio slide the glass door shut behind them.

"Not really. But that doesn't really matter, does it?" You say bitterly, taking a swig of your eggnog. Usually you hate the stuff, but you've been steadily consuming it to keep yourself in one piece. Seeing Y/N again feels just as awful as the day she left and never came back.

"Don't say that, man. Of course it does." Jonathan pipes up, flashing you an apologetic look. You just shrug in response, unsure of what else to say. You really wish you weren't having this conversation at all. Clearly you have no chance of getting Y/N back, so what's the point of rehashing the same old shit?

"Even so, do you guys really wanna hear about my extinct love life for the millionth time? It's Christmas, there's supposed to be music and presents and all that holly jolly crap. Maybe I should go, I don't wanna bring you guys down all night." You start getting up to leave, but everyone quickly protests. You sigh, plopping back down into your chair. You know for a fact they'd sooner tie you down than let you walk out that door. There's more of them than there are of you, and Steve is ridiculously strong. "Fine! I'll stay! But can we drop it? Please? I'm hangin' on by a thread as it is." You sniffle, exhaling sharply as tears prick your tired eyes.

"Eddie, we really think you need to have a talk with Y/N." Dustin says, looking away from the claymation elves singing about making toys to speak to you seriously.

You just shake your head, the thought of that alone makes you want to off yourself. "Nah, man. She wants nothin' to do with me. And I don't blame her." Your voice trembles slightly. Goddammit, here come the waterworks.

"I wouldn't be too sure about that, dude. Robin told me Y/N still sleeps in your old t-shirt. She used to sniff it for the scent of you when she thought Robin wasn't looking. She cried for hours when it didn't smell like you anymore. And she hums your guys' song all the time without realizing it, "Beast of Burden", right?" Your eyes widen at Steve telling you this. The possibility that Y/N doesn't completely hate you blows your mind. Since the day she walked out the door, she's never contacted you again. She had Robin pick up any of her stuff still at your place, exchanging it for the things you left with her. The only thing missing was that beat-up Mötley Crüe t-shirt, you figured you'd lost it while you were drunk or something.

"Either way, I don't think she's in the mood to talk. I don't wanna hurt her again." You really don't get why everyone seems to have planned this ambush tonight. No doubt Robin and Argyle are working their mojo on Y/N to convince her to speak with you. You'd love it if she did, but you can see it now. She's letting them have an earful, telling them to mind their own fucking business. She's so damn stubborn, it's one of the million things you love about her. Loved, you mentally correct yourself.

"But you're both sitting here like goddamn ticking time bombs. Any minute, you're bound to explode. Unless you resolve this. We're not saying you'd necessarily get back together, but it would be good for both of you to work towards being able to tolerate sitting in the same room." Nancy takes her turn now, and you just roll your eyes.

"You guys really can't let this go, can you? Why do you care so much about mine and Y/N's relationship anyways?" You finish the rest of your drink, setting the empty glass on the floor. You cross your arms in frustration, waiting for this stupid talk to be over.

"No, we can't let it go. Because you and Y/N are our friends, and we love you. And we've had to sit and watch you both be in pain for months. And none of us can make that hurt go away, only you guys can do that." Mike says, hoping you understand how hard it's been for everyone to watch you and Y/N suffer.

You sigh, dragging your palms down your face. Partially in aggravation, and partially to wipe your tears away. "Fuck! Fine! But I'm not gonna force it. If she won't talk, I'm gonna let her be. Fair enough?"

The group nods in agreement, murmuring various 'yes's and 'okay's as they finally drop the subject. "I'm gonna go get the others from outside. I'd say now's as good a time as ever to start the game." Max says, standing up from her cozying up to Lucas. She walks to the door, sliding it open before shouting into the cold. "Hey, potheads! Hurry up, it's time for presents!"

Y/N POV

"Alright, who wants to pick the first gift?" Jonathan asks, taking on the task of supervising this little game. Nobody volunteers, when Robin speaks up.

"How about we have Y/N go first?" She smiles at you, trying to get you in the spirit of things. You roll your eyes, she's incorrigible sometimes.

"Uh, sure. Step on up, Y/N." Jonathan says awkwardly. You take a deep breath, standing up slowly as the weed has finally decided to kick in. You walk over to the tree, looking over the plentiful pile of presents wrapped in shiny paper. You pick up a smaller one, leaving the larger gifts for the others. You return to your seat to open it, tearing the paper to reveal a jar of soaking salts.

"Ooh! These'll make bathtime very relaxing!" You say cheerily, showing everyone what you got. You actually really like this present, long hot baths are one of your favorite ways to relieve stress. Everyone murmurs in agreement, and Robin goes next. She gets a matching hat and glove set, which looks very cozy. Next is Argyle, who opens up a box of fancy chocolates.

"Sweet! I've got major munchies, man!" Argyle says, opening the box and taking one of the sweets out of its wrapper before popping it into his mouth.

"Well, safe to say that gift is out of play now." Jonathan shakes his head, his poor friend clearly doesn't understand the rules. Nobody seems to mind though, it's just chocolate. Next to pick a present is Nancy, who decides to steal your bath salts. You stand up to open another present, which turns out to be a Magic 8 Ball. You're less enthused about this item, but you figure one of the kiddos will take it off your hands at some point.

"Okay, my turn!" Steve says while rubbing his hands together. He picks up a gift bag, pulling a pack of warm socks from under the tissue paper. "Wow, just what I wanted." He says sarcastically, wondering if his parents secretly put a gift of their own in the bunch before leaving town.

"I will happily take those off your hands, Stevie." Eddie says, holding out his hands for Steve to toss him the socks. He catches them with ease, placing them in his lap. Your eyes meet again, and he instinctively gives you a small smile. You return it out of reflex, before realizing who you're looking at. You quickly frown instead, turning away to see what Steve reveals this time. It's a D&D starter set.

"Dammit." Steve mutters, cursing his inability to pick one of the better presents. Next up is Will, taking a chance with a larger box. He tears the paper away, revealing a portable radio.

"Nice!" Will says, very pleased with this find. Jonathan and the rest of the kids take their turns, most opting to open a brand new gift as opposed to stealing someone else's. The next six gifts are a Stephen King novel, the Star Wars trilogy on VHS, a Santa Claus mug with hot cocoa mix, a sketchbook, a knitted blanket, and a Walkman. Max steals the D&D set from Steve, deciding to give the game a try since the boys love it so much. Steve gets to pick for a third time, and he ends up with a thick, cozy scarf.

"Now this I can live with." Steve says, smirking as he’s got something he actually wants. Erica is last, taking your 8 Ball for herself. She claims she'll use it to make any and all further decisions for the foreseeable future. This leaves you empty handed once again, and there's only one gift left beneath the tree. Jonathan hands it to you, and everyone watches in anticipation to see what's inside.

You tear open the paper, pulling the lid off the flimsy box beneath. And inside, is a Santa hat. With devil horns glued onto it. Just like Eddie's. Leave it to you to end up with the gift that your ex-boyfriend brought. The room goes completely silent, and you don't know what to say. Your eyes dart across the room to him again, and he tries his hardest to silently apologize. You can feel the others watching you two, waiting to see what happens next. You look away, inspecting the hat for a moment. You rub your fingers over the fuzzy material, smiling slightly at the hand-stitched letters that spell 'SATAN' on the white brim. "You can trade with me if you want, Y/N." Robin offers, extending her gift to you.

"No, it's fine! It's a cute hat, cheeky." You giggle genuinely, it really plays into the sense of humor you and Eddie used to share. You wanna be a good sport, and not hurt his feelings. You pick up the hat, settling it on top of your head with a big smile on your face. It's very warm, but comfortable. You imagine you look a little silly, but you don't mind it one bit.

"Alright then, looks like the game is over. Anyone need a refill?" Jonathan asks, and every adult's hand goes up into the air. You may have graciously accepted your present, but the tension in the room has only gotten worse. You and Eddie keep looking at each other curiously, but avert your gaze when either of you get caught staring. "Yeah, sounds about right." Jonathan sighs, gathering everyone's glasses to head into the kitchen.

"You really don't mind it?" Eddie asks as the others move on to other activities. The kiddos open Max's D&D box, showing her how to build a character and how the game works. Nancy gets up to put on some music, picking out a Rolling Stones album from Steve's extensive collection. Some Girls, to be exact.

"Not at all, Eds. You know I love shit like this." You reply, realizing you just used his nickname. Maybe you don't need that refill after all. His eyes widen when he realizes what you said, hoping this means you'll talk to him...and maybe take him back. "Don't get any ideas, Munson. I'll get back together with you when hell freezes over." You quip, not meaning it in a hurtful way whatsoever.

"Well, we are in Hawkins in the middle of winter. I'd say that's pretty close." He retorts, making you laugh. It's been so long since he's done that, and you can't help missing it. Jonathan returns with the drinks, and you decide to throw caution to the wind and keep drinking. You're feeling warm and fuzzy inside, despite the perfect storm brewing between you and Eddie. You put it aside for the time being, focusing on enjoying the night with your friends. All your friends.

For the first time in what feels like forever, the group as a whole is able to fall back into the familiar groove you used to share. There's no more worried glances, awkward silences, or talks about your past relationship. Everyone's joking, laughing, and having a great fuckin' time. You have a dance with a few members of your little band of misfits. Steve, Robin, even Dustin. You can't stop smiling, downing a steady stream of eggnog the whole way to keep yourself merry and bright.

You're having a rather uncoordinated turn with Argyle, when the record begins to play a tune you haven't heard in an eternity. "Beast of Burden", the song you and Eddie once claimed as yours. You stop moving, noticing him walking over to you. He's taking his shot, hoping this is enough. "Mind if I cut in?" You look at him, finding his impossibly large brown eyes gazing at you expectantly. He gives you a kind smile, holding out his ringed hand.

"Fuck it! I'm pretty wasted. And everyone else has had a turn. Why not?" You reply with a hiccuping giggle. You take his hand, letting him pull you into his space. He clasps your fingers together, his other hand going to the small of your back. You put yours on his shoulder, sharing an awkward look as Mick Jagger begins to sing.

I'll never be your beast of burden. My back is broad, but it's a-hurtin'. All I want is for you to make love to me. The opening lines remind you of the first time you heard this song with Eddie. It was late one night, in the fall if you recall it correctly. You'd gone on a long drive all over town, not caring about the final destination as there wasn't really one in mind. The radio played real low, and you smoked cigarette after cigarette while staring out the window at the full moon while Eddie drove. Conversation was light, the two of you in comfortable bliss. And then the opening riff spilled forth from the worn stereo speakers in his van, prompting him to turn the volume up. "Shit, this is one of my favorites." You remember him saying, smiling at you to see if you also recognized it. You hadn't heard it before, but you listened closely to the words.

I'll never be your beast of burden. I've walked for miles, my feet are hurtin'. All I want is for you to make love to me. Eddie sang along with Mick, in perfect key at that. It was far from the first time you'd heard his deep, sultry tone. He is in a metal band, after all. But nevertheless, he enchanted you time and time again. And this particular evening from the recesses of your memory was no different. You watched his lips open and close in various shapes to form the lyrics, his face dimly lit by every passing street lamp. This dashboard performance in particular felt different from the others. He was tenderly asking you for something. To love him forever, to have him as yours the same as he wanted to keep you for his own.

You gladly granted the request, your heart soaring across the universe at the thought of never letting Eddie go. When the song was reaching its end, you had ended up at the edge of Lover's Lake. The maddening man in the sky reflected upon the still, black waters. Stars twinkled overhead, it was the most beautiful night. Eddie killed the ignition, inviting you to the back of the van like he'd done so many times before. You followed him like a moth to a flame, letting him lay you down on the mismatched blankets splayed about the floor. You made the sweetest love you'd ever had, sealing your promise that you thought would never be broken.

The two of you sway to the music, slowly rotating in a cautious waltz. You do your best to loosen up, bringing yourself a bit closer. Eddie's had a considerable amount to drink too, playfully crooning the lyrics of the song to you. Just like the old days. "Am I hard enough? Am I rough enough? Am I rich enough? I'm not too blind to see." Your smile grows wider at him singing for you, you used to love it when he did this. His voice is gorgeous, and he made you feel like the most special person in the world when he'd serenade you with your favorite songs.

The others pretend not to stare as they make their own pairings to dance. You ignore their approving glances and nods. It's like everyone else disappears, leaving only you and Eddie in the room anymore. Your movements are more fluid now, facilitated by the weed and alcohol. You let Eddie lean down to softly sing the repeating 'pretty, pretty girl' part of the song in your ear. His chest is flush against yours, and it's almost as if you've never been apart. You want so badly to just smash the walls down, and let him back in. Nostalgia and longing wash over you, tempting you to take what you've been wanting since the day you walked away.

He pulls back a moment, meeting your hazy eyes. You can see loud and clear that he still loves you, and he can tell you're mirroring the sentiment back at him. You can feel his heart pounding in his chest, the pace staying in sync with yours. Your mouths are dangerously close together, and your breath fans in each other's faces. The sickly sweet scent of rum and sugar cookies wafts between you. He tries to make a move to kiss you, and you almost lean into it. But when you really look at him, you can't help remembering how you two ended in the first place.

You drop his hand and push him away, a single tear falling from your eye. "I-I can't." You choke out the words, frantically looking at everyone staring at you.

"Y/N-" Eddie takes a step forward, reaching for your arm.

"Don't!" You back up again while shaking your head, turning away to leave the room. You push past Nancy and Jonathan, and you begin to sob uncontrollably. You make a break for the stairs, your heels thumping as you bound up each step.

"Go after her, you idiot!" Steve yells to Eddie, and you try to find a place to hide. It's too much, you can't just pretend he didn't break your heart into a million pieces. You can't act like everything's okay now, because it isn't. You hear another set of shoes coming up from the ground floor, just as you run into Steve's parents' room. You slam the door and click the lock, leaning against the wood while your chest heaves.

"Y/N?" You hear Eddie's voice from the other side. Why can't he just leave you alone?

"Go away, Eddie. I can't do this." You say through your tears, pulling the Santa hat from your head. You don't want to wear it anymore. You toss it across the room, refusing to look at it again. You slide down to the floor, your knees tented in front of you. Your head falls in your hands, tears and saliva soaking through your dress.

"Y/N, please? I just wanna talk." You can hear the pain in his voice, and you fucking hate it. You hear him shuffling to sit on the other side of the door, his own stifled cries spilling out. His hand brushes the finished wood, wishing he could feel you through it. "Baby, please. I-" He begs.

"Don't call me that! You lost the right to use that name a long time ago." You shout, turning around to face the solid barrier between you.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. Just...I don't wanna be like this anymore." His voice trembles, he's just as shaken to the core as you are.

"I don't either, Eddie. But what else is there? You ended us, when I thought you'd never do that."

"I know. And I'm a fucking idiot." Eddie replies through clenched teeth, he's so frustrated with himself for making such a dumb decision.

"Well, at least you admit it." You can't help cracking this small joke, making both of you laugh on either side of the door. Even though you can't see each other, you know exactly how the other's face and body language looks with every passing word.

"Steve said you still sleep in my shirt. Is that true?" He asks, unable to rein in his curiosity. You gasp at the question, Robin must've said something to him.

"Yes." You say softly, not wanting to admit it. "But only because it's comfortable." You try to make up an excuse, but you already know he doesn't believe you. "Robin said you were really messed up after I left. Is that true too?" You figure you might as well get some confirmation of your own while you're trapped in here.

"Shit, yeah. I don't think I had a sober moment for at least two weeks after you left. It was awful. But I couldn't stand to keep being reminded of you at every turn." Eddie recalls how those drunken, drug-addled days played out. He woke up late, head pounding from the night before. He'd crack open another beer, and smoke a blunt or two before breakfast. All he could manage to eat during that time was Honeycomb cereal and Poptarts. Not to say those stayed in his stomach long, far from it.

By lunchtime he'd be face-first in the porcelain throne, rejecting every last bit of sugary snacks and booze. And the cycle would continue. More alcohol, toss some cocaine in the mix, another joint, or a few. Reefer Rick even threatened to cut off his supply if he didn't stop consuming all the product. He had to work twice as hard to recoup the cost of the illicit substances. And all that did was further remind him of how he lost you.

"Jesus, Eddie. I'm sorry." You can't help feeling bad when you hear the words from his own lips. A secondhand story doesn't have nearly the same impact.

"Not your fault. I did this, remember?" This is absolutely killing you, you can't stand the sullen tone in his voice. It makes you want to unlock the door, to allow him back where he clearly belongs. But that's not enough. You can't put the past behind you and give it a second try so easily. Especially when he could just as easily break your heart again, deeming himself unworthy of you. Just like last time.

"Why did you? We had a good thing, didn't we?" You really want to understand why he made that decision all those months ago. He technically gave you a reason, but was that really enough to end a relationship?

"Of course we did, Y/N. It was the best thing I've ever had in my entire life." Eddie says, complete and total regret working its way through his body. It cuts like a knife, deep and jagged. More tears spring from his eyes, tapping wetly as they land on the hardwood floor below him. His heart aches for you more than he ever thought possible. You're so close, and yet you're a million miles away. If he wanted to act selfishly, he'd smash this damn door to pieces and scoop you into his arms. But he won't, because it's not what you want. And that's the only thing that has ever mattered to him.

"Then why?" You hoarsely croak out the words. You're fighting to swallow a wedge in your throat, it's grating and bitter. Like a lump of coal scraping your esophagus. You press your hand against the door, laying your head beside it. You want to be closer to him in this silly, small way.

"Well, it's like I said before. I didn't feel like I was enough for you. You were starting college soon, and I know you're gonna be something great." Eddie smiles slightly at that thought. You have big dreams of saving the world, changing it for the better. He'd listen to you talk for hours about cleaning up the oceans or regulating big corporations that over-pollute. Seeing your eyes light up when you cared about something made him even more helplessly in love with you. "Whereas, I'm gonna be stuck flipping burgers or fixing cars my whole life. Would you really wanna spend your days with someone like that?"

"I told you before, I didn't care about that. I just wanted to be with you. What you did for a job or how much money you had was always a non-factor for me. People do those things their whole lives, and there's nothing wrong with that." You reassure him, speaking sincerely. Just because others may look down upon those who work in 'unskilled' jobs, that doesn't make them worthless.

"But how could I provide for you when I make shit pay like that? You deserve someone who can take care of you, Y/N." You really have no idea why Eddie insists on this idea that he has to be the big spender in the relationship. It's oddly old-fashioned for someone like him.

"Eddie, did I ever say I wanted you to be the 'provider' in our relationship? You know better than anyone I don't subscribe to medieval ideals like that." You don't mean to come off so harsh, but it's a bit annoying that he seems to ignore this rather fundamental thing about you. "Plus, you provided plenty. You were kind, sweet, and loving. You comforted me in my weakest moments, and we made so many meaningful memories together."

"I know, you're right. The more I say it out loud, the stupider it sounds." He chuckles dryly, shaking his head. But there's something else, something he's kept close to the chest this whole time. You can sense the hesitation in his voice, the little hitch in his breath when he forces his tongue to hold back.

"What is it, Eddie? Please, tell me." You ask quietly, wanting to know what he's been hiding.

"I was afraid you'd outgrow me. You'd slowly earn your degree, make new friends. Then you'd no doubt go wherever the planet needs you, and where would that leave me? You'd see how big and beautiful the world is, and being with me would pale in comparison. And then you'd leave, finding a foxy marine biologist instead or something. Then you'd win some kinda Nobel Prize or some shit, and I'd still be here in Hawkins. With nothing to show for it." He realizes how silly he sounds now, how he's spent so long fantasizing about you leaving him behind.

"Thought about that a lot, did you?" You ask, unable to hide the smirk in your voice. You understand his fears, you'd probably have them too if the roles were reversed.

"Every goddamn day, Y/N." He chuckles again, but he sounds far from happy about it. Your face falls, there must be a way for him to see that his anxieties held no water.

"You do realize I would've taken you with me, right? If your hypotheticals ever came to be, I mean." You speak matter-of-factly.

"Really?" Eddie still doesn't understand, does he? Just as he claims to love you to the ends of the earth and back, you feel just as strongly. If not moreso.

"Yes, you big idiot!" You exclaim, grabbing his attention. "I would've had you by my side every step of the way. We would've moved in together while I went to school. Then after graduation you'd come with me to wherever I was interning at, until I’d eventually lead the charge in some world-saving research. And then you'd be right there in the audience while I accept my 'Nobel Prize or some shit', dressed in a cute tux and everything. And then we'd go home to our house, and our pets or plants or whatever." Eddie's eyes widen at your words, he never imagined that you would actually want to spend the rest of your life with him. Him, the metalhead, freak, loser, asshole that deals drugs.

"Thought about that a lot, did you?" He parrots your previous statement at you, drawing light laughs from both of your mouths.

"Every goddamn day, Eds." Another copied comment, and another slip of his nickname. You're headed for trouble if you don't knock it off.

"Fuck, I wish more than anything I could take it back, Y/N." Eddie says, desperately wanting this conversation to end in reconciliation. He wants you, no, needs you in his life. You're like the sun in the sky, the air in his lungs, the ground beneath his feet, the blood in his veins. You are everything to him.

"So do I." You reply simply, the tears have been steadily pouring from your eyes this whole time. As is the case with Eddie, you suspect.

"Would it be so terrible to try again? I miss you so much, it's killing me." There it is. That oh, so dangerous question. You've been simultaneously dreading it and wishing for it all night. How easy it would be to accept him back into your heart, to reignite the burning flame of love you used to share.

"I miss you too, more than you know. But I don't want to get hurt again. I can't go through the hell you put me in a second time." You sniffle, unable to stop yourself from remembering the endless sob-fest you had at Robin's for the first few days after your breakup.

"I promise, I will never let you go again. I'll never be so fucking stupid." He pleads, yanking at your heartstrings.

"But how do I know for sure, Eddie? I was under the impression that the first time would never come, and it did. Who's to say you won't break us to pieces again when things get tough?" As much as you'd love to be together again, you have valid reservations about the prospect.

He doesn't say anything else for a minute, carefully considering what you've said. He feels so fucking awful for hurting you, and he wants to prove himself worthy of a second chance. "What if we move in together?" He blurts out, as it's the first step in your little fantasy about the future.

You scoff, he can't be serious. "Eddie, you don't have to jump the gun like that."

"I'm serious. I wanna be with you, commit to a life with you. What better way to do that than to get a place together? We could look after New Year's if you want. I think there's a place by-" His tone is frantic now, eager to sell you on the idea.

"Eddie, slow down!" You shout, interrupting his babbling. He shuts his trap, his teeth clacking at the force. "Look, it's really sweet of you to offer. But I think we would need time to get reacquainted first, to see if this would even work again." He perks up at your words, hoping this means you're saying yes to him.

"I'm sorry, you're right. But, does that mean we can give this another shot?" He asks expectantly, crossing his fingers and praying to whatever God is up there that you'll take him back.

You sigh, shaking your head as you giggle at the thought. "I can't believe I'm actually saying this. But yes, we can try again, Eds." You say as you stand up, clicking the lock to open the door. Eddie falls forward into the room, almost smacking his head on the floor. You shriek in surprise, and he bounces back up in no time. He scrambles to his feet, his eyes meeting yours for the first time in what feels like hours. He laughs awkwardly, blushing hard as he rubs the back of his neck. You giggle in reply, rolling your eyes at his clumsiness.

You move closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck while his go around your waist. You're standing in the threshold of the room, looking up to see some mistletoe hanging right above your heads. "Well, would ya look at that? Seems like the Harringtons have the right idea." Eddie says, returning his gaze to yours. The air between you is different now. It's no longer somber and heartbroken, but filled with unbridled joy and a dash of booze-fueled lust.

"That they do." You reply, just barely above a whisper. You can't stop staring at each other's lips, the familiar scent of Christmas treats dizzying your heads in your proximity. Eddie's just about to bring his lips to yours, when-

To be continued...

[mariska]

one of my moms had to drop some of my grandpa's things off in his house after we left my therapy appointment today - he hasn't been home recently because he had a fall, and thankfully my mom found him and was able to help him get to the hospital because we're his only relatives that live close to him so my mom goes over there to help him with stuff or just to visit pretty often. he's in his 90's so we were all very scared about the injury but my mom says he's recovering pretty well.

i haven't been in his house in years and i don't think i've ever been there when he's not home. his house feels so safe and gentle and cosy and peaceful and quiet. all i could hear while we were there was the sound of crickets outside and the clock ticking each second.

when my mom was putting the things of his that she'd brought back where they belonged, i went to look at the photos on his fireplace. there were so many beautiful photos of my grandma throughout her whole life, she died when i was still really young but old enough to have had a lot of great experiences with her & my grandpa. they've always loved and supported me a lot and i will always love them very much, too. i haven't thought about my grandma in a while with all the other chaos happening around me & the world in general. so when i saw the photos of her on top of the fireplace i immediately broke down and sobbed. i was sobbing the whole time my mom and i were there. it just came over me really fast and i couldn't stop.

my mom gave me a little tour of the rooms in his house and pointed cool stuff out to me, before we left. i asked if i could take pictures and she said that was fine. i ended up taking a lot of pictures because i don't know if or when i'll see the inside of this house again, set up the way it is now by my grandpa.

he kept a big stuffed animal bear on a lounge chair in the living room. it was a bear that i specifically loved and played with a lot when my whole family went to visit him & my grandma at their old house in North Carolina one year when i was still a toddler, we still have the home video tapes of me playing around with that stuffed bear before i could even walk properly. he never got rid of it. it sits there in the living room.

my mom told me that my grandma painted the art framed on the wall that i included a pic of here. i remember doing lots of arts & crafts projects/activities with her as a kid but for some reason it's never occurred to me that she was probably an artist in more ways than just doing shrinky dinks and finger paintings with little kid me until now. im not sure if the painting has a title or meaning but i thought it was really beautiful. it made me wonder how many other paintings she did when she was alive.

it wasn't supposed to be an emotional thing, we were just dropping off some stuff of his for when he gets home from the physical rehab center he's recovering at, but i still can't stop thinking about it hours later. it was just so peaceful in there. he collects things in such a similar way as i do. he has dozens and dozens of photo albums filled completely with decades worth of pictures of him & his family's lives. in one of his rooms he has a big 70's style shag carpet rug like i do in my bedroom. i'm not genetically related to him or my grandma or that mom, because i'm a donor kid and only genetically related to my birth mom, the mom who is not related to this specific side of the family, but my grandpa and i have still always been so alike in certain ways. it's such a strange sensation to step into another person's home, when they aren't there, when you haven't been there for years, and have it feel more like Your Home than your actual home. i can't stop thinking about how quiet and peaceful it was in there. i can't stop crying about it all.

it's a weird, surreal feeling. it's been a weird kind of day.

[silentwillowwhisperer]

I guess you guys get to know more about me.

Alright guys Imma do this because my writer's block is being mean to me and I have a headache from crying too much. (Don't worry, I'm fine, I'll explain later in this post.)

Oh and before I forget, thank you @lady-of-nightmares-and-sin for the tag.

I apologize for my mega-long ramble answers.

-----

Named after anyone?

Noop. I have actually never met anyone with the same name as me, though there is a name that comes close that I hear ALL THE TIME. People won't even read my name all the way and just assume that it's the more common version, and it veeery slightly ticks me off.

2. Last time you cried?

Today! It is the last day of school, and an important person/mentor/counselor/friendly-figure is leaving to go to another school closer to her house. Ummmmn... I kinda sobbed for 50 minutes straight, and EVERYONE was staring at me until they started crying too because this important figure is a SAINT and we a love her. I was the worst though. Once I start, I absolutely CANNOT stop. (My friends were all extremely concerned for me, but that's ok, goddammit I'm gonna see these people again next year, I totally just broke down in front of all these people, crap.)

3. Do you have any kids?

Agh. No. I'm... no. Would I be interested later in life? Perhaps. For now Imma try to survive my younger siblings. Also, I'm holding off on dating for a while, (by that I mean like 2-5 years). And even then it would be a long time before I would even CONSIDER raising a child with someone. So I don't have to worry about me-spawns for a good bit.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Nah, that doesn't fit my personality very well. However, I do this thing where I'll turn up the brightness in my voice and say something that's supposed to be sarcastic and no one can ever tell if I'm being serious or not. Wow. I doubt that any of that made sense.

5. What is the first thin g you notice about people?

Their actions and/or habits. I tend to pick up on other people's fidgets really fast. Also, I'm not even gonna approach you if you don't act like a decent human being through the way you move. In theory, that makes no sense, but I swear I'm not judgmental, I have a process.

6. Color of your eyes?

They look black, but they're obviously just suuuper dark brown. They look kinda cool when I hold a flashlight up to them though. By that I mean that you can see the 3-Dness of them, but they don't have much color in general.

7. Scary movie of happy ending?

Guys. Do I seem like the kind of person who can deal with scary crap? No. Hard pass. I'm an animation child. Lemme tell you, the ending of She-Ra was TOP TEIR. I was crying my eyes out and screeching at the cuteness of this CANONIC GAY COUPLE at the same time. You know what? I'm giving you homework. Go watch She-Ra if you haven't already, and if you have come talk to me about how hot Scorpia is.

8. Any special talents?

I love how these questions are meant to be interesting, but I'm not an interesting person. I... can do a clover with my tongue?

9. Where were you born?

Normally I wouldn't answer, but I'm proud so Imma tell you. California. Now leave before I start singing California Girls.

10. Hobbies?

Stop I'm so basic. Art, reading, writing, music, taking pictures of my friends and stashing them away for further use (Whaaat, no, me? Creepy? Neveeeer.)

11. Pets?

Do my siblings count? JK, no, I love them (88% of the time). I'm not even gonna start on my ramble in here, I'd rather not write (another) paragraph answer.

12. Sports?

Nope, stay away, noooooo.

13. Height?

These questions are starting to freak me out. Can someone stalk you based on height??? I know I sound paranoid, but stay away.

14. Favorite subject in school?

Social Studies! Though people have said that next year's course is gonna be boring.

15. Dream job?

Therapist/phycologist of some kind. Talking to other people about their problems makes me reaaally unreasonably happy. I have this one friend who likes to talk to me because something about my weird eccentric self giving her advice helps her, and as much as I don't like seeing her sad, when she is it makes me feel very helpful and valued. Anyway, if any of you ever need to talk, I'm always willing to lend an ear. <3

I'd also like to be an author because, writing. That's all I'm gonna say about that.

------

Once again, thank you for the tag.

I'm tagging:

@lilcatastrophe (sorry, I do this to you a lot)

@haunted-glassesgurl

@blobfish-whisperer

No pressured, feel free to ignore me! Byeeee!

[nobully]

👀 what is wrong with you?

Send me a “👀 + a question” and my muse has to answer honestly!

' There is nothing wrong with me as long as you don't try to look. '

' So please. Stop looking. '

But of course people don't. Once they've caught on to something odd, it's human nature to follow its trail to the end. He brushes people off as persistently as they try to open him up to see what makes him tick inside.

' Maybe the problem is that I'm too greedy. I want what everyone else has, but I also can't deny who I am. I push myself to learn all the ways of acting human without...really knowing what that means. I don't even know why I'm doing it, besides the fact that I'd just be an outcast if I don't fit in? '

' But...I don't even understand what it means to be wanted, to be happy. I think found that once in my world—and then I lost it in a moment. I thought I'd be sad about it, but I didn’t even cry. What kind of person uncovers his best friend's corpse from the rubble and can't feel anything except mild surprise? What's wrong with me and why can't I fix it? Why can't I pretend until it's real? …then again, do I even need it to be real? '

' It's like the world's a permanent gray. I try to paint it with emotions but the colors all leech away. The only joy that stays is when I see other people in pain. I think it’d be fun to hurt them. I want to see their expressions when they twist. I want…so much more that I hardly brush the surface of because I don’t want to think of ways to get them. ’

‘ I…understand murderers better than normal people? I don’t know why that is. I don’t think anyone taught me. But their logic always made sense. Once, my friends and I found the body of a dead cat as kids. They were appalled, but couldn’t figure out why anyone would kill an animal. I thought it was obvious, so I told them. ’

‘ The killer was curious about the victim. They wanted to see if the cat was pregnant, so they cut open its stomach to check. ’

‘ The killer doesn’t want witnesses. He’s not waving his finger at you, but counting the number of floors it takes to reach you on the balcony. ’

‘ The killer likes to watch. He uses sharp weapons to stab his victims so they take longer to bleed out. Then he has time to enjoy them dying from outside the glass elevators he left them in. ’

‘ I’ve never thought what they did was wrong. It was just the the normal course of all life—the strong conquer the weak. Humans were…just bags of flesh, and kind of incomprehensible unless you pushed the right buttons to make them entertaining. You can even eat them if you’re starving, the same way we eat chickens or cows…haha, Xiao Mo got really mad when I said that I’d eat her and Xiao Lu once. Most of this stuff’s from the past though. I wouldn’t eat them now because you…don’t eat friends, and because the police would get you, and all kinds of other reasons. I don’t actually want to get locked up because if they convict me there it’d probably upset my parents and um, make their life difficult. Among other things. ’

‘ Also because doing bad things is just wrong. I need to remember that. Because I think my ideal world sounds like a place where everyone is either dead or dying and…well, I’m supposed to say that’s terrible but honestly I think I’d just get bored, so it’s nice to have a world with more…variety. Guilt is a good reminder. I’ve learned how to feel guilty everyday. ’

‘ Anyways, I’m not looking for sympathy or anything. I wouldn’t even understand it completely if you gave it to me. Uhh…or do most people find me repulsive after this? I guess there’s not much difference if it’s just feelings we’re talking about. Basically, I want to say that I know I’m wrong all over, but I try to forget. Nowadays I’m lot better at making others forget with me too. ’

[foodieforthoughts]

Make it work

Summary: You knew the moment you saw the package at your door that Chris had some plans in store for you.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: 18+, RPF, naughty talks, use of toys, flirty Chris, smutty talks, implied smut

A/N: Picture drabble time! It's kind of a followup/part of Morning Ritual. I can't get enough of this man and his ASP chats are not helping.

*First gif from the link

**Other gifs from the link

Title: Make it work

As soon as his face appeared on your screen, you knew he was in a different kind of mood today. Donning his printed shirt and the white undershirt which did little to conceal his chest tattoos, Chris was all smiles and had greeted you with an excited "Hey!" with the conversation quickly turning into the most fun and energetic one you have had ever since being separated due to the pandemic.

Like everyday for the past weeks, you were on your customary video call with Chris. Only that it was a Sunday and instead of an early morning call, it was in the afternoon. You would have generally slept in through the morning, but the package delivery earlier that day had kept you awake ever since.

It was from Chris and when you had texted him to ask about it, he had written back in all caps, "Do not open it."

Your conversation was flowing smoothly when you asked him about Dodger and while he started recalling an incident that happened over the week with the pup chasing behind a squirrel in the park, you eyed the brown package sitting on your table. You waited for Chris to finish his story before you said, "You know I love Dodger and I love listening about him." You slid the box in front of you and pointed towards it, "But I have to interrupt. I am dying to know what is inside this box."

"What do you think it is?" He asked, grabbing his beer to take a sip.

You tried not to squirm when he chugged his beer while maintaining eye contact with you. You were in that phase of your cycle where your man could melt your panties even with a side glance. For a long second you couldn't look anywhere but his lips, wishing desperately that they were on yours right now.

Shaking your head and clenching your thighs shut, you looked back to the box and began tearing it open.

"At least give me a hint of what I should expect." You mumbled while trying to take the tape off the sides. You looked up at your teasing boyfriend who seemed to be enjoying your dilemma of not knowing what you had in store.

"All I can say is..." He stopped when you let out a loud gasp.

Your mouth fell open looking at the package in front of you. Inside the outer cardboard box there was black box with a pink vibrator printed on it. It was the kind that could be controlled by an app and a remote. Seeing that the plastic covering was torn, you were sure that Chris had already configured the settings with his phone.

"Chris," You began, feeling your cheeks heat up by every passing second.

"Before you feel cornered," he raised his hand to stop you from saying anything. "We don't have to try that. Anything that makes you uncomfortable is off the list."

You looked up at the screen and Chris waited patiently for your reaction. He had a smile on his face, watching you intently as you took the box out and turned it around in your hand.

You felt your face flush with warmth and your heart flutter at his words. You smiled at him, unboxing the device and taking out the curved toy in your hand. Reading over the instructions, it was supposed to be a g-spot stimulator; reading that was enough to make you wet between your thighs.

"How did you come up with this brilliant idea?" You asked, placing the box and the silicone toy on the table.

Chris laughed while running his hand over the side of his head, a nervous tick that he did when left flustered. "I was only looking over at a website for myself and then Scott walked in the room-"

"Wait-what?!" Hearing that his brother might know what kind of sexual shenanigans Chris was upto, you felt a renewed wave of blush travel up to your cheeks. Your ears heated up at the possible scenarios of them discussing which device will provide you 'maximum pleasure'.

"You know Scott is not bothered by such things right?" He asked, shrugging his shoulder. "Infact, that one was selected by him."

"Chris!" You covered your mouth with your hand, groaning but also laughing.

"He also wants feedback of how it felt, so he can recommend it to his friends." Chris clearly was having too much fun with your embarrassment as he laughed while he spoke.

"I'm not going to do that!" You protested even though you were enjoying this yourself. Very rarely Chris was in a jovial mood these days, hating the distance between you two and being holed up in his house. He also had a lot of projects lined up for which he was constantly stressed and to add up to his thoughts, he was worried about his family and your safety.

So you went with the flow of the conversation, watching him laugh and explain to you how the device works. He showed the screen of his phone which had the app open and to demonstrate he turned the vibration on. The pink toy began vibrating on the table, rattling along the surface as Chris alternated between low and high vibrations.

"Oh god." You giggled and reached towards it to make it stop. But Chris immediately turned up the strength of the vibrations and it bounced on the surface, making you shriek in response.

Chris laughed loudly. He had his pearly whites on display, squinting as he laughed with the prominent laugh lines on the edges of his eyes. He looked adorable to you and the sound of his deep laugh made your heart strings strum with it.

"You are being so naughty today!" You chuckled when your regained your composure, and quickly turned the device off.

"Yes, yes, I am." He took a deep breath to calm himself.

"I miss you so much." He titled his head to the side, a wistful look on his face. "When will I get to hold you again?"

The change in the tone of his voice ached your heart. You sighed, running your hands through your hair and finding yourself at the loss of words.

"Soon. We are still making it work though." You tried to be optimistic. You worried that one day the distance would be too much and Chris will move on to someone present physically near him. You had stayed awake many times in the night, laying in bed alone, wishing that you had never left the country for work.

"Do you worry about us?" Chris had his cheek rested on his knuckles, his eyes fixed on you through the screen.

You pushed your chair closer to the table, resting your elbows on the wooden surface. Chris imitated your movements, clasping his hands together in front of him. You instantly noticed the watch you had gifted him, the unmistakable golden body of the watch shining in the sunlight through the window. Smiling softly at your man and hating the solemn look on his face, you reassured him.

"I do worry about us, but I know we'll be okay. It's not going to affect how I feel about you, how much I love you and how much I want to be with you."

Chris sighed, finally his lips breaking out into a smile. "I love you too. I want nothing but to be with you."

You nodded at him, trying to blink the tears away. You did not want to waste a day crying over a situation that was out of your control. So you came up with a plan.

"Babe, are you alone?" You asked, picking up the bright pink toy in your hand.

Chris's eyes twinkled when he looked at your hand and how you twirled the device between your fingers. He slowly nodded, raising his eyebrow as you stood up.

"Be right back." You excused yourself and made your way to the bathroom. Washing the silicone toy before use, you striped yourself off of all your clothes and stood in your naked glory. You switched on the device and carefully inserted the toy between your silken petals, marveled at how easily it slipped inside you since you were already drenched. You blushed that Chris could have this effect on you even from many miles away.

On your way back to the computer, you took a glass of water as your throat went dry anticipating the things that would occur.

"Chri-" You wanted to sound sultry but with a jolt of vibration that hit your sweet spot with ferocity, you yelped out. Your hands jerked forward and the water spilled on the carpet and you looked wide-eyed at your boyfriend laughing on the screen.

"Oh shit!" He had his eyebrows raised in surprise as you stood with the empty glass in your hand. "I didn't know you would get water too. Sorry, sorry." He clasped his hand over his mouth, waiting for your reaction.

He might have expected you to get mad at him. But you weren't even the least bit angry. If anything, that single shock of delicious stimulation had your entire body ready for some loving. So instead, you placed the glass on the table and sat down on your chair. Bringing your arms to rest underneath your breasts, watching as Chris's eyes travelled to your hardened nubs, you smirked to yourself.

"You have to make it up to me now." You twirled a stray strand of hair around your finger and noted how Chris's stare turned into a lustful gaze. "Come on now. Strip."

"Yes ma'am." He said before peeling his shirt off his body.

[ingravinoveritas]

i've seen atwi80d already and loved it, mostly for the emotions david brought to the character. there's lots of chaos and silliness, but then there's suddenly such depth and so much sadness. (in his eyes especially, dunno how he does it). i'm already looking forward to your review! the series reminded me a little of doctor who, because it really does have a bit of everything, adventure and drama and romance, lots of blatant humour, but also scenes that'll leave you quite touched. (plus david's english accent). and while i never warmed up to verne's phileas fogg, david's version (which is entirely, entirely different, just like most of the plot) made me agressively root for him from the very first scene in the reform club.

(uh and another reason for why i think you'll definitely like it is that david's fogg is the kind of character that has my opinion on whether i would like to top him or be topped by him basically change with every second scene. which, i suppose, is nothing new, regarding his characters. Or david himself, if we're being honest. yeah, it's probably just him).

so these are my thoughts on it. i hope you'll share yours when it's out in the states! next thing on the watchlist would be michael's little christmas movie, i'm sure he'll give just as much to it.

Hi, Anon! Thank you for sending me this lovely message. I wanted to wait until I’d watched all of ATWI80D to reply, and now I have, so onward and forward with my full review of the show!

Right off the bat, I will say that for me, the two biggest strengths of the show were the actors and the cinematography. The settings were absolutely gorgeous (from what I understand, Romania was where they filmed all of the “cold weather” settings, and South Africa was where they filmed the “hot weather” settings). The set designers did a magnificent job of making us feel that we were really at these locales, and were further helped by the excellent costume department highlighting the attire not only of each place, but of various social classes in those places during that era. You truly felt as if you were there.

I also loved the opening credits of the show. The reference to the ticking clock, obviously, but it also reminded me of shadow casters. Shadow casters are metal figures that you put a light in front of, and the shadows that are cast show something you would not otherwise see (and the shadows can even be put together to tell a story). I think that’s a good metaphor for the characters of Phileas, Passepartout, and Abigail. That it’s only in darkness, in challenging times, that we see another side--good or bad--to each of these people that would not be seen under normal circumstances.

The other strength is, as I mentioned, the acting. David is wonderful and absolutely does carry the show, but David is never not wonderful. Like you said, he is able to portray countless emotions--joy, sorrow, anger, fear--just with his eyes and microexpressions. Ibrahim and Leonie also delivered excellent, nuanced performances, which you very much needed for this threesome to work, and played off David beautifully in all of their scenes together.

(Also, the actor who plays Fortescue, Jason Watkins, is the same one who played Brian Masters, Des’ biographer in Des, because of course he is. I love that David literally acts with the same five people in every project...)

In terms of the show/plot itself, overall, I thought Around the World in 80 Days was a little uneven. Initially, I found myself harboring more sympathy for Passepartout than Phileas. Part of this I think was an intentional choice on the show/David’s end, to make us think about who Phileas is and what he represents, and whether that is something to have sympathy for. But while I know the character is meant to be closed off and tightly wound and needy, I have truly never met someone more in need of a prostate orgasm than Phileas Fogg in the first two episodes of ATWI80D.

(Give the poor man some lube and a baguette, for crying out loud...)

HOWEVER...I do love that we got a flicker of the softness under that repressed exterior with Alberto, the little boy on the train in Italy. You start to see that Phileas really is just a big kid dealing with grown-up hurts, and is covering that pain with an existence as bland as the brown soup he eats at the Reform Club. He’s punishing himself, and what he sees in Alberto is possibility, the potential for a future that he thinks is lost to him, so when Phileas sees that potential threatened, he is moved to save Alberto, and in the process, it’s the start of him saving himself.

But it is a very slow start indeed, and it isn’t until our trio gets to India that things begin to take off.

The episode in India had some truly memorable moments, most notably David’s acting when Phileas is drugged, because no one does that type of comedy-to-dramatic acting quite like David does. The manic energy he gave where what he’s doing makes perfect sense to him even if it makes no sense to anyone else was a brilliant combination of the Tenth Doctor and Crowley’s legs vaguely sauntering down the street to commune with a cow. Also, we finally (finally!) get some emotion out of Phileas in the form of him talking to Abigail as if she is Estella, and it’s so heartbreaking, and that combined with his impassioned speech at the court martial was what really got me to start feeling for him.

Of course, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention my other favorite part, which was Phileas having his shirt dramatically ripped open, Roger Daltrey-style, by Passepartout FOR NO GOOD GODDAMN REASON WHATSOEVER:

(Thank you to @somethingjustsouthofbrilliance for this gif!)

I think it was somewhere around this episode that somebody from the BBC or one of the other 5000 production companies behind this show suddenly went, “Eye candy, we need eye candy for the girls and the gays, we have David Tennant here and he's not naked enough, WHAT DO WE DO” and, well...there you go. To quote the legendary Alexis Mateo from RuPaul’s Drag Race season 3: “This is just soft porn. It’s kinda hot.” Even Abigail seemed to be into it, looking from Passepartout to Phileas and back to Passepartout like, “Um...do you boys need a moment? I’ll just be over here in my room behind this thin little curtain, NOT AT ALL LISTENING IN.” Girl...same. You would think that there was already enough gratuitous Phileas flesh in India, but ohhh...no. Because the hijinks got even higher when we were in Hong Kong, and whump, there it is, my other favorite part:

(With thanks to @sic-vita for gif #2!)

Now, I could write an entire paragraph about colonial/patriarchal oppression and the sociopolitical connotations and loss of privilege experienced by Phileas in this entire sequence, as others have so eloquently done. But I’m going to keep it 100% real and say that until this moment, I do not think I understood what the word “whump” truly meant.

Because having David Tennant in chains, shirtless, with miles of pale, freckled skin on display, shoulder blades jutting out with each fluttering breath, and a whip unfurling ominously in the foreground was absolutely and without question a CHOICE. The lashing itself was, of course, difficult to watch, but even in his pain and agony, David/Phileas was beautiful. David acted every inch of that suffering, and the relief when Passepartout and Abigail came rushing in and Passepartout draped the shirt over him was palpable.

The hurt. The comfort. The realizing that Phileas doesn’t even know if he thinks he deserves to be comforted. It was just...extraordinary. Whoever had the presence of mind to include this scene (and I know it very well could be David, because he was an EP on this): Thank you. Bless you. I would like to send you a fruit basket. With flavored condoms.

For me, the strongest moments of ATWI80D took place from the end of India to Hong Kong to the desert island. We go from bottom!Phileas on the continent to top!Phileas on the island, taking charge and nursing Passepartout back to health. But it was also on the island where the dynamic between Phileas and Bellamy and Phileas/Passepartout/Abigail fully solidified for me.I will attempt to break my head canons down to the following three points, as I feel like I’ve rambled on long enough already:

1. Phileas is bisexual.

2. Phileas and Bellamy were boyfriends in boarding school until Bellamy dumped him because he is a jealous old queen who hated that Phileas is so much hotter than he is but didn’t know it yet, and has had to keep putting him down so Phileas thinks he can’t do any better than him.

3. Phileas/Passepartout/Abigail are in a polyamorous “V-style” arrangement, where Passepartout is in relationships with both Phileas and Abigail, but they are not in a relationship with each other.

It’s not until the three main characters are away from civilization that we see the walls between them fully break down. Phileas is humiliated and emasculated in “society” while in Hong Kong. But on the island, the only thing that matters is survival and having each other’s backs (and also not using an incredibly rank fruit like durian as a sole form of sustenance, for the love of God). The bond between Phileas and Passepartout and Abigail is cemented by the realizations they have about each other and themselves and the trials they endure on the island. Phileas draws a line in the sand both literally and metaphorically, and I thought his change of heart and how he speaks to Passepartout and Abigail about how Bellamy only ever tore him down while this journey has lifted him up was just so moving and so well done.

...Which is why, then, I found it really jarring to go from that setting and that emotional apex to the episode in the Rockies. To me, this sequence was not only the weakest of the show, but also belied an underlying problem that I noticed in every episode, which was the script. The script did not serve the show and certainly did not do justice to the actors’ performances. And nowhere was the script clunkier than in this episode, making it feel like a parody of the Old West rather than a genuine portrayal.

It seemed very disconnected from the rest of the show altogether, and were the decision in my hands, I would have scrapped everything in the West entirely...with the possible exception of the female stagecoach driver who so obviously wanted to peg Phileas:

I mean...come on. We all knew exactly what she was thinking at this moment because we were all thinking the same damn thing. This was a self-insert for each and every person in the audience who wanted to put the reins and saddle on Phileas instead of the horses (seriously, what is it with David and saddles??), and my god, whoever greenlit all of this is so clearly one of us and not even trying to hide it. Wow...

Anyway, for the most part, I did enjoy ATWI80D, or least every episode other than 7. I think what took me out of the story most was the weak script, but also when the story tried to do more, but didn’t do it effectively. The two specific examples of that are the gender-related and racial issues with which both Abigail and Passepartout are confronted, respectively. I understand what the show was trying to do by raising these issues, but it seemed to address said issues only superficially instead of on a deeper level, and as a result, did not do justice to Abigail and Passepartout. Leonie and Ibrahim are talented actors, as (of course) is David, but even the most talented actor can only do so much with the material they are given.

David’s Phileas Fogg was the linchpin of the show, and nowhere was that more evident than in the reunion with Estella in New York. There, we see his heart, see the broken boy who has become a man, who comes to understand that true cowardice is not admitting your mistakes and not learning from them, and that the only way to heal from the past is to live fully in the present to make a better future. 

So those are my thoughts on ATWI80D! I didn’t mean to write so much, but I guess I had more to say than I realized. I’m glad you enjoyed it as well, Anon. Thank for writing in! x

[seonghwanotes]

square one | park seonghwa

pairing: seonghwa x reader

genre: fluff

word count: 789

a/n: i love seonghwa so much, his universe text made me cry so i decided to post this <3

"if you ever need seonghwa, just say it. i'll help break everything for you" - psh, universe 210825

You were met with the bright sunlight creeping through your white blinds that you had not finished installing the day before when you woke up. There was no way you would be able to sleep in for a little more while even if you wanted to as the sun rose ever so beautifully right in front of your window.

Your mind was fixed on getting the day started which caused you to place your feet on the floor but the arms which were wrapped around your waist pulled you into a warm embrace, making you halt for a bit.

"If you're going to keep me like this, it will be noon in no time." You mumbled, not turning around to face your lover.

"That's okay. I would love to spend all my time in bed with you." The deep, raspy voice sent chills down your spine as his lips came closer to your jaw, making you tilt your head instinctively.

His soft, plump lips left a kiss on your jaw as you wanted the same kiss on your lips but for a longer period of time. If you didn't bother about hygiene, you would have flipped yourself around and kissed him. A sigh left your lips as you made yourself comfortable with your back leaning onto his torso, both pairs of eyes staring at the ceiling.

"I still can't believe we're actually doing this." You uttered, causing Seonghwa to hum.

"I know," His fingers toyed around with your hair, "It feels like a dream."

"Do you think we rushed into… this?"

"What do you mean?"

"Moving into this apartment together. There's barely space too. What if it's a mistake?" You asked, looking up at him while his eyes were still fixed at the ceiling.

"I don't think it's a mistake, Y/N. Are mistakes supposed to make you feel good? Like you're on cloud nine? Everything we've done together has never felt like a mistake." He spoke, making you scoff.

"You're hanging out with Hongjoong alot." You scoffed, hitting his chest with the back of your hand.

The sound of laughter left his lips as he understood what you meant, "Maybe, but I can't blame him. He writes beautiful lyrics, they flow naturally to him since he's in love with composing, my words come naturally because I'm in love with you."

You got up and looked at the boy who was now looking at you with a cheeky grin plastered on his face. "Park Seonghwa, you promised to not be cheesy in the morning!"

Seeing you getting all worked up over his small confessions made him chuckle, "I'm only telling you that I love you, darling. What more can a man like me want in this world when you're all I need?"

You shook your head in disbelief and pushed the blanket to the side. Before you could leave your bed again, Seonghwa stopped you and pulled you back in. "Don't leave yet. Stay with me."

"I'm not going anywhere, Hwa." You muttered, holding his hands with your small ones. You both shared a moment of silence, staring into your empty bedroom with brown boxes pushed to the side of the room, some were still taped whereas some were left open.

"Now that I'm looking at our stuff, we probably should have bought a bigger bed." You told him, holding his finger as you traced the cuticle of his nail.

"And is it because I'm 'long', as you say it?"

"That, yeah and I don't want you to sleep in a cramped space after a long day of work. I move a lot while I sleep too." You admitted, voice coming out small as it laced sorrow.

He let out a hum that made you wonder if he was confused or thinking or agreeing to your statement. "Work is work. I do have some bad days and tiring ones but, I have you. So, what is there for me to worry about?"

"Smelling my stinky ass close up in 4K."

"That's alright, at least in the future, I'll think about the days where we started off in this small apartment in our small bed. God's given me everything that I ever wanted in life."

Though he was spewing words around earlier to tick you off, these few words gave you comfort and made you feel like you were indeed at home with him.

A smile crept onto your face and you chuckled, "I don't deserve an angel like you."

Returning a soft grin, he kissed your forehead and pulled you in for a hug. "I don't know what I'll do without you, Y/N. You're truly all I ever need. That's enough to keep me going every single day."

[is-nini]

Prince! Xiao x royal! reader

You are y/n l/n, the daughter of the l/n family. The daughter of duke f/n and duchess m/n and today is such a surprising day for you.

The huge grand clock was ticking, filling the quiet room of your dining table that was once filled with chatter and cheer. The look on your face is priceless and shocking to say the least after hearing a very very surprising news that has reaches your ear.

"Wh-what?!".

You sputtered. You mom and dad smile's at you proudly but their smile didn't hide the anxiety swirling in their eyes.

"Prince Xiao who will soon becomes a king, has invited you to have a dinner with him, in the letter he stated that you have been chosen to be his future wife, isn't it exiting?!".

Your father stated proudly. You shake your head and furrowed your eyebrows. Prince Xiao.. who will be crowned king next week wanted YOU to be his WIFE?!

"Nuuh-!".

You shake you head no.

"There's no way! That I'm going to his dinner party of whatever".

You stated. Your mom and dad looks at you shockingly and in a instant your mom runs towards your chair where you're seated.

"B-but honey- listen.. we know you had your differences in the past but- he wanted to made up! Won't you see him one time? For us? We cannot reject his invitation- he is going to be KING soon".

You sigh and looks down at you half empty plate. You and Xiao used to be such a close friend... Until one day he grew cold, he pushes you away and said that you shouldn't have meet him.

Although it was 15 years ago, you remembered it like it was yesterday.. the tears of loosing him has stayed with you for years to no end.. and now he suddenly wanted YOU to be his WIFE? Your mom felt your distress and you father felt it too but an order from one of the highest rankings of the kingdom cannot be rejected.

"Please... Y/n.. just meet him.. for dinner. I have a feeling he wanted to tell you something.."

You father gently said, he smiles gently towards you once you made a eye contact with him. Your father's begging and your mother's sad and stressed looks is enough to make you accept the invitation with a sigh.

"Fine... But i won't like it".

You gritted out of your teeth. Your mom and dad cheers at you, you might be mad and sad about the whole ordeal but.. you can't really say no to your mom and dad.. can't you?

The birds are singing and the sun is shining.. the sky seems to be in a good mood sadly you and the sky doesn't seem to have the same mood today.

"You look great sweetheart".

Your father said, squeezing your hand with a huge smile on his face while your mother is smothering you with compliments and praises more than usual.

"Ahhh gosh who knew our little girl would be a pretty elegant woman?!"

She squeal. You giggle and puts a small gentle smile on your face. As much as you hated this day.. at least you'll know that the both of your parent will be happy while you're away.

You kiss the both of their cheek and took a step back. You mom hugs you one last time.

"We know this is hard for you but.. we really do hope you sort out your differences".

You gave them a sad smile.

"We shall see.."

And with that you step inside the carriage and started to make your way to the kingdom... Oh boy.. you do hope that you'll be able to carry on smoothly.. the emotional scar in the past hasn't heal and you're afraid that you'll bleed and lose control.. you quickly shake your head and slap your face gently with both hand.

"You'll be fine! You'll be fine y/n l/n. He will NOT be the cause of you loosing control. Period!"

You look out the window after a couple of hour of ride. The castle is in full view. In a couple of minutes you'll be reaching the castle... Your anxiety is blowing up inside you.. some part of you are happy that you'll get to see him but.. some parts of you are just.. scared.

As you walked out of the carriage, you can feel your legs trembling tremendously. One of your maid ask if you're okay and of course you say yes... Even though you're obviously lying the maid doesn't say anything more. The maid doesn't know what to say, and you cannot blame her.

You took a deep breath and started to Walk towards the humongous door way.

One of the knight opened the huge door and bow down, letting you walk inside the palace. Gosh... It has been 15 years since you last saw the palace.. nothing really change around here accept for the tense aura that you bring upon yourself.

A fellow butler bow Infront of you as you courtesy back to him with a friendly smile on your face.

"We have been expecting your arrival lady y/n, please follow me. The prince has been waiting for your arrival".

Ever since you stepped into the castle, no words are being spoken out from your mouth as if a curse was upon you to not allow you to talk, when in reality you're just nervous and loose your voice. In a couple of second.. you will meet you childhood crush who crushes your heart.. how are you suppose to be calm?!

You and the butler stopped in front of a huge golden coloured door that's decorated with your favourite flower... Interesting.. you are too deep into your headspace that you didn't notice the butler beside you is asking you a question until he clears his throat, making you jump.

"S-sorry"

You said, the butler smile's softly at you and bow down for a while and then he whisper to your ears.

"You'll be fine lady y/n, please relax. Are you ready my lady?"

He ask and then pulled away from you, giving a soft smile towards you. You flash a Sad smile and nodded towards him as he opened the door revealing a beautiful glass room. The walls the glass... Everything is magical.. the place's is filled with your favourite flower, favourite colour and design. Even though the room is absolutely enchanting, you cannot ignore the man in the middle of the room. Sitting on one of the fancy chair with a glass of tea on his lips. He slowly puts down his cup and stare at you with his yellow glowing eye.. that you remember.

You straighten your back and walk towards him as he stands up and walk towards you too. Just as you were about to reach him your gosh darn clumsy leg slip, making you stumble forward lucky you manage to catch yourself before you fall. You quickly take your none existence composure back and looked at Xiao with a huge red across your face.

Xiao saw you stumble and.. oh god of rex lapis.. you just becomes prettier and prettier the more he saw you.. the way you stumble is not elegant but it is cute.. it reminds him of a little... Kitten stumbling.

"Becareful, we would want you to fall".

..... What.. he wanted to slap himself for saying that as he took out the chair for you.

"Y-yes thankyou your highness".

You wanna slap yourself for stuttering UGH why is this so embarrassing?! You sat down slowly on the chair he has pulled out as you watch him goes back to his seat. The table is round and is made out of glass, making Xiao able to see everything in a pretty close proximity since the table is pretty small..

The two of you sat in silence. You are staring at your hand from above the table while Xiao is looking everywhere else but you. The aura here is so tense.. which is understandable but Xiao can sense a rather... Heavy aura coming out of you. Not that he's wrong. The sense of anger and confusion slowly engulfed you and starting to get the best of you.

"Why did you invite me here?"

You spat out, you quickly wanted the earth to swallow you whole but it's too late to go back so you decided to swallow your pain and cringe and started to pull up your head to look at prince Xiao.

Xiao was.. not surprised in the slightest.. he knew you must be mad about the event that took place 15 years ago... But Xiao cannot stand anything anymore.. after he got mature he knows what to do.. he finally has the courage to ask you for a dinner with him.

"To make you my wife".

Xiao respond. Loud and clear. you furrowed your eyebrows, is this all? No explanation? No sorry just a proposal? Is this all really? You tsked and roll your eye. Lady etiquette? Frick that. Throw that away you wanted explanation.

"Just that?"

You spat, staring at Xiao dead in the eye. Xiao realize the mistake he made and sigh quietly trying to fix everything but his pride won't allow him to do so..

"No.."

He trail's off as he prepare his mental.

"I wanted to apologize.. for the event 15 years ago.."

You sigh and without you noticing your shoulder slowly relaxed as you stare at your hand, fiddling with your thumb. A habbit that hasn't left you since you're small.

"I was young and dumb.. at that time".

Xiao looks at your eyes, filled with emotion.. sad and anger emotion swirling inside your pretty e/c coloured eye.

"I was- i was scared.."

He trail's off. You tried to hold your tears the best of your ability. Scared? Of what? What is he scared about to make him wanted to abandon you?

"We were going on a war soon.. and as the future king of this kingdom it's either kill or be killed. At first i realize that maybe it's better if you just.. stay away from me, thinking that it will keep you safe-"

His words was cuts off when he heard a little noises coming from you. He focuses his entire body and mind towards you as he saw tears running down your face. With wide eye he quickly runs towards you and spin you chair, making you spin too. You close your face, not wanting to show Xiao the mess you are right now. Xiao kneel in front of you and hold your shoulder.

"Y/n? I-i'm sorry.. i wanted to make you happy and safe is all! I never wanted to abandon you nor make you cry i just-"

Xiao looks at you sadly and hugs you as you sob to his shoulder, you hugs him back, letting your emotions out. You don't care if your tears stained his suit. You just wanted his warmth. The warmth that you missed for all of this years.

"I just.. wanted you to be safe.. i wanted you to be happy. I thought pushing you away will be better but.. i was wrong. Very wrong. And it was stupid of he to take 15 years to finally realize that i cannot live without you. I'm sorry".

You shake your head no and hug Xiao back.

"N-no I'm sorry! I was- i was stupid! I should've ask you what's wrong! I should've-"

You were about to continue when xiao pulled you away and puts his palm on your cheek while he looks at you deep into your soul through your eye.

"No. You're not stupid. Never say that. You're not wrong... Okay .. stop feeling like you're wrong. Stop blaming yourself".

He whisper. He push his face closer to your face and smile's at you gently and sweetly.

"Shh... It's okay dear.. I'm sorry okay.. can you forgive me?"

You nod your head 'yes' slowly as you tried your best to flash him your warmest smile. Xiao wrapped his arms around your shoulder, hugging you again and tighter.

"Even after all this year's... I still.. i still harbor deep feelings.. towards you.. that's why i ask you to be my fiancee. I can never.. move on. Never. I am aware that asking your hand in Marriage right now is too fast but.. I'm willing to do anything to make you fall for me again.. would you take my attempts to make you fall for me again?"

You giggle and hugs Xiao back, shaking your head while little hiccups is spoiling from your mouth.

"N-no need... Because even until now i still keep my feelings for you and only you Xiaobebe".

You talk while sobbing, giggling and smiling at Xiao. Xiao just giggle alongside you and kiss your lips passionately as you kiss him back. Once you both pull away from eachother to take some air, you decided to crack a joke.

"Gosh... We're so cheesy".

Xiao full on laugh and kissed your temple, and kiss you back.

"Shut up... You ruin the moment my princess".

You giggle against his lips and hugs your hand around his neck.

"Shush. You don't mind"

You reply with a sassy tone. Xiao humn and looks at you dead in the eye.

"So sassy huh? Since when is your lips so spicy?"

He puts his thumb on your mouth and stroke your mouth slowly with his thumb.

"Let's see how long can you keep up the sassy act princess".

He nibble on your neck, making a rawr noise and then pull you up princess style from your seat. He opened the door and started to bring you through the hallway and making his way to his bedroom.

Unknowingly the both of you, Xiao's butler and your maid was listening to your every conversation with a wide smile on their face.

"Such a wonderful relationship~".

Your maid said with a fake tears running down her face. The butler just smiled and walked away from the place they were eavesdropping.

"Let's go, we have a wedding to plan people!"

The butler shout's as the maid and servants around him cheer. You have always bring the colour to the cold hearted Prince's heart everyone ships the both of you and now your presence will bring warmth to the whole kingdom and the future king's heart while filling the newspaper with amazing news.

Taglist: @laic2299 @inlustris-is-slowly-dying @dreaminselfinserts

[mirtiell]

Yoooo valentines prompts are so cute! What about no. 6 with Dazai?

A maniac's way to pass valentine day...

｡context; you hate valentine, and i love angst

warning(s); angst, jokes about unaliving oneself, its dazai what did u expect?

note; i'm sorry, but i couldn't not do an angst on valentine day, c'mon it's a tradition ;) thank you for participating in my valentine's special and sorry you had to be the unlucky one with an angst :( i flipped a coin and it fell on you blame the coin not me ;)

Dazai has one weird character, nonetheless, he is still the man you fell inlove with. althought sometimes, you wonder how you didn't lose your sanity.

He's childish, that is a fact known by anyone who worked with him, he acts like a child and creeply talk about suicide as a normal topic, sometimes you join him in his antics. trouble was everywhere with him, if you can't stop it why not join it?

Apart from this, he is a caring partner, calls himself sefish but sacrifice himself if someone he holds dear is in danger. you got to experiance it first hand, he is broken, a child who didn't get to play as he wished.

So you let him off the hook, if it made him happy, you won't stop him.

Valentine was near, and it means spending your day off with your lover, cuddling and watching stupid romcom or going out on a date to a themed cafe. but for you, a single person, you'll only wake up until afternoon and stay awake until late at night.

This was the life of a single person; a lonely day where you get disgusted by the couples on the streets and cry on some low budget soap opera. a pityful sight, but you can't do anything now can you.

But luck seems on your side this year, as your lovely collegue wanted to ease your loneliness by asking you to spend your day with him.

"come again?" you deadpanned at the man blocking your door, he seemes rather happy despit knowing he would get punched if he boothered you. you were rather violent.

"like i said, i want to spend this joyous day full of love with you!"

"If you don't move, i'll punch you in the capital d." you glared at him.

"....why so aggresive? some may think of your attitude as an embaressed-"

" finish that sentence and i'll make your death painful."

" you wouldn't dare!"

"wanna try?" you sighed, it was true he was childish, but sometimes you wonder if he actually is a child or simply dumb.

" come on! we can do many things!" you looke bored, when was this going to end?

" oh yeah? like what? "

" Movies, baking, committing arson, we can do anything together! "

"���im going to pretend i didn’t hear the third one. " was he okay in his head? sure he make jokes about commiting double unaliving with his future partner, but was he okay?

" such a party pooper, "

You didn't say anything and walked past him, althought you harbor feelings for him, you were in no mood to take the chance, you knew well. this man was a walking bomb, and no one wants to be near a bomb, especially a ticking one.

" my offer still stands, " he said, but you kept silent, " you can find me at the usual place, i'll be waiting.." he finally walked away, leaving you alone with your thoughts and feelings.

" i hate valentine day."

For the whole day, you were inside your house, staring blankly at the tv, while in a bar sitting alone, dazai was waiting for you even if he knew you won't. he still held hope...

who said valentine was supposed to be wholesome?

[hobipaint]

Graffiti and Chalk- two

summary: You thought you knew him. You thought him gone. Kim Taehyung was part of you that you had carefully suppressed, keeping his memories to one box near the wall of your mind. That was your fault, though - empty walls demand for art. And who other than your own neighbourhood vandal?

↳ pairing: ex police student turned vandal! taehyung x officer! female reader

↳ genres: angst, fluff

↳ word count: 9.6K

↳ disclaimers: pg15!, vandalism, police officers, criminal past and heavy discussion of it, mentions of character deaths.

one | two

a/n: FINALLY AFTER A MONTH IT'S HERE! This took me really long to write but I'm pretty satisfied with how it turned out : it's my longest work yet, and I feel like it would be among my best as well hehe. a massive thank you to @kookiestarlight because i swear i completed this in the first place because of tasha, @swcetnight who pointed out exactly where I need to elaborate stuff and places in which I was loosing parts of the plot because did I forget the whole storyline while writing this 🤡, @vaekth because this bby is absolutely amazing. she's supported me throughout the process of writing this, thank you so much!! thank you to @taecup-fics for beta reading this at the last minute and pointing out a bunch of grammatical errors because otherwise this would be a mess to read 😭 to everyone who has waited - I'm so sorry that it came this late, I suddenly had a bunch of exams that were announced and had to focus on those. Hopefully this lives up to your expectations!! Enjoy reading :)

Morning often dawns with a feeling of hope. With wistful sights of sunrise. Flowers open up to the golden haze that thaws the frost of the night. Birds roam the skies that had been but mysterious domains in the dark. People wake up with groans about the impending day, hopeful for it to end soon. You hoped for your mornings to always be similar to this- some constants were needed in places where you had cases as bewildering as missing pumpkin plushies piling up in your office. 

Your morning today, though, was much different. Much to your annoyance. 

You held the coffee you had brewed for yourself - another espresso, the universe knows you needed it - and handed one to Taehyung just as the cuckoo perching on the clock shrilly announced that it was eight in the morning. 

"Do you still have no answers for me, Y/N?" Taehyung looked at you. His eyes were sullen - no signs of the cheekiness that had peeked at you last night. Scattered rays fell across his body, highlighting the sunken cheeks, brooding eyes and tight smiles you could now see better in the daylight. 

You sighed- probably for the millionth time this night. "I do not understand your question, Taehyung." 

"You remember it. I've asked you thrice since I saw you again, Y/N. Do you not remember anymore? Do you not care for me? Was our idea of us nothing for you?" He looked at you with a myriad of emotions written all over his face- you looked away, not wanting to see them. 

Sighing, you gathered your thoughts the best you could. "Like I said, Taehyung." You looked at him- looking at the person you once fell in love with. The feeling you felt today, though, was much different. There was a feeling of running towards him, taking him in your arms and remembering who he was to you all over again, but it was overwhelmed by the confusion you felt - should you prioritize a past that wanted answers, or a future that was unsure? For now, you chose none pushing the time to make that decision further ahead. "We were an 'us' for only a few hours. Until you stood me up."

He rolled his eyes."That wasn't intentional, Y/N." 

"And how was I supposed to know that, Taehyung? I thought it was, since you had never told me anything beforehand."

Taehyung's eyebrows bunched together, as if coming to hear the stories that his eyes longed to tell- stories of events that you had never seen and never known. "Would you not hear me out, even once? For the sake of our old love?"

You bristled. "What love, Taehyung?" You got up to stretch your legs out, looking at the patchwork blanket that was stuffed in the corner. You had taken that for your first date with Taehyung, planning to cuddle with him and watch the stars - a date that never happened. "What love? A love where you don't speak to me for weeks, and then vanish for some crime? We were young then, and I got hurt then as it is. There's no need to go over this right now." 

"That was not my fault, Y/N. You know that." Taehyung seemingly sunk back into his chair, eyes downcast. "I had said I loved you. Before I ever went out with you." 

"Like that matters,” you scoffed, “what's the point in reminiscing promises from an old love?"

"At least, hear me out?" He looked up at you with hope sprinkled in the abyss of his eyes. "I don't want you to forget me."

You turned back to your chair, tearing your eyes away from the blanket that was now a pale blue in the sunlight - a few shades lighter than the cerulean colour it would be in the afternoon. "Not now, Taehyung." 

Taehyung sighed, looking at the floor, tension exhaled into the room. He sat silently for a few seconds, the ticking clock announcing each moment clearly to you. "That's fair. It's just.." He looked back at you. "I'm used to thinking of you as the person I loved." He nervously let his eyes pan around the windows, gazing at the sunshine that streamed through the window, before turning back towards your gaze. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I'm just really grateful for your presence-" 

"Taehyung." You sharply interrupted him. "Two years ago, when your case was reopened for investigation. Who did that?" 

"They told me that it was a well wisher in the neighbourhood. Another jailor said it was for good behaviour." He shrugged. 

You scoffed aloud, more loudly than you would have liked him to hear. 

He frowned, lips drawn in a tight line in annoyance. "Don't believe me? I'll have you know, Y/N, I was among the most well behaved at prison. Absolutely no tantrums. I even ate the salt-less, disgusting food they'd give there. No crying. Nothing. I can show you later on if you want, I think I have a report stuffed somewhere here," He got up, shuffled towards his bag and checked the last zip, hunting for a report you had never heard of. 

"It was me." 

Taehyung whirled around to face you, unruly hair swinging like the seats of a carousel at a carnival, and raised an eyebrow. "What were you?" 

"I was the one who insisted on opening the case for reinvestigation, the case of your stepfather's assault. Went around collecting evidence, searching for people who knew about your family better, getting their voices recorded, finding about the whole deal to frame you and stuff. Nearly got fired." You shrugged, sipping your espresso and wincing- too bitter. "You're welcome, by the way. The coffee is getting cold." 

"I don't care about the coffee." He moved the cup aside - nearly spilling the liquid, roughly settling back into the seat he had been occupying for the last few hours. "You were the one who asked for re-opening the case?" 

"Just said that." 

He slumped back in his seat, and your eyes took in how he spread himself out on the chair, tiredness lacing his figure. "I didn't know that." 

"Now you do." You said, sipping your coffee and watching Taehyung do the same. 

Taehyung stared blankly at you, and you couldn't fathom what was swirling in those ebony orbs of his. "Why did you do that, Y/N?"

"Honestly," you smile softly at him, "I was expecting a thank you."

"You should have expected questions, Y/N. Why did you help me?" Taehyung's blank expression made way for a confused one, eyebrows furrowing and lips pouting. 

"I did what I had to do as a-" You paused here, unsure of what to say. "As a friend, Taehyung, nothing more. I knew you were innocent-"

"How were you so assured?" He pressed on."I could be a complete 180 from the man I met you as. I could be fake. I could be an impostor. I could-"

"You could do a bunch of things, Taehyung." You stared him straight in the eye, trying to keep your emotions at bay. "But you could never tell a lie." 

Taehyung scoffed. "You sound like one of the wishy-washy pick-me kind of girls in the movie. No, I don't lie, but I could." 

You sighed. As much as you cared for Taehyung, you had never really cared for his argumentative attitude. "I went with the assumption that you were the same person I knew, Taehyung. The one whom I respected and trusted. I acted on that feeling." 

"That wasn't trust, Y/N. It was naivety. You were naive to believe me." Taehyung paused, uncertainty lining his forehead as he spoke. "You shouldn't have trusted me." 

You rolled your eyes- you couldn't understand why he was so desperate to make sure that you remained aloof from him. What had you done to be treated like that? What had he done to force everyone away from him? 

You tried to play off his remaining doubts and frustrations as insecurities he developed while in jail, and moved on."Alright then, you impostor. I was naive to trust you. And even more naive to believe you. Happy? Now shush. I don't want to talk about this." You tried to clear your mind of any doubts you had about Taehyung, but his behaviour, the way he interacted with you - it couldn't help but increase the worry and confusion in your mind.

Taehyung leaned forward to look you in the eye before smiling softly at you - you couldn't understand why. You were going to give him a criminal record, maybe arrest him. You were potentially ruining his life again, and he smiled at you. "If you say so, officer." Taehyung said, settling into the chair - leaving your mind reeling with questions you weren't sure you wanted the answers to. 

You opened the laptop again, wearily. "Let's get back to the questions; the sooner we finish this, the better. Where did you source the paint from?" 

"You mean the graffiti? And chalk?" You nodded. Taehyung sighed."Terminology, Officer, terminology. Make no errors." He raised a finger to wave at you, as if to say no. You rolled your eyes -it seemed that you were the only one concerned about what would happen to him after this, because Taehyung quite clearly was not. "I bought it with the allowance money that was kept for me in the bank- as much as I hated that man, his cards proved to be useful."

You raised an eyebrow, skeptical. "You didn't steal it." 

"No. Took it from my step-father's account. Technically, now mine. Apparently he left everything to his children, and I'm the only one alive that I know of. Maybe he had other children- I wouldn't doubt it for a moment if he had, but that doesn't change my right to his money either." 

"Any other members of your family who had been granted access to that account?" You asked, wanting to make sure that there were no loopholes - you didn't want a future possibility of Taehyung being entangled with the wrong side of the law again. 

He rolled his eyes, leaning further. "Curious little thing, aren't you? Like I'd told you last night, most of them are dead. Mom had died a few months before I was arrested - thanks to my stepfather being an alcoholic and taking everything out on her. Grandmother already had massive health issues - she passed away after two years of me being in jail - they had let me come out for her funeral."

"My siblings - a brother and sister, if you remember - were taken in by a distant relative, and the last time I spoke to them was three years ago. I'm not allowed to contact them because I might end up being a 'bad influence'," he air quoted the words, laughing mirthlessly. "Guess they won't be too delighted to see me again. You probably know about my stepfather - got drunk and passed out. Permanently. But yeah, that's all. I'm pretty much the sole benefactor from that account."

Hearing how nonchalantly he spoke about it, you were forced to maintain a strong face and be professional. You couldn't possibly think of even wanting to comfort him in any way. "So, you were absolutely not stealing."

"Nope. No. Not at all. Want any further repetitions?" 

"That won't be necessary," You said, having typed out the information - tracking his expenditures would also be necessary now, apparently. "Any expenditure you make shall be monitored, now. Be careful."

"Always have been." He chuckled, getting back to spinning the glass on the table. "You know me." 

You ignored him. "Your cards will be tracked, and any loose cash will be checked by us. If we feel that there's any room for suspicion, you will have reason to be monitored." 

An odd silence filled the room while you tapped away at your laptop, filling in more details about the incident. Taehyung would be having a criminal record again, you thought to yourself. It was the only thought that echoed in your mind. It made you feel uneasy in a way, but you swallowed your unease down. There's a promotion to focus on. 

"Taehyung, something has been bugging me since I caught you vandalising." You shifted a little bit, before deciding to spit out the question. "Why did you do it?" You leaned forwards on the table, elbows digging into the wood as you tried to grasp the answers from him. 

Taehyung looked you in the eyes, and then looked away. "I don't know."

"You don't know." You raised your eyebrows, leaning back incredulously. "Taehyung, that's not an answer." 

"I did it because I wanted to. It was fun. I'd see kids in the morning pointing at my graffiti work and they would like it. There would be people claiming it looked good. I felt acknowledged and I just-" He pleaded, unable to continue without pausing to recollect his calm. "I felt like doing it. After years of having questions raised at me for committing a crime I never did, I finally had people talking about the work I did. Even if it was just chalk drawings." 

You exhaled in confusion. The Taehyung you had known - he was never like this. Confident, assured, independent. That was what he seemed to you when you were younger. And now, to see him want to be validated by others who never even cared for him- it felt ridiculous to you. Why was his only way of feeling validated involving something against the law? "Okay, then." 

You went through the complaints that had been registered against him, hand resting against your forehead as you asked him the most commonly asked question. "Why the insignia 'V'?" 

"V for victory?" He made a 'V' sign with his fingers, "I liked to think that I won against the world by rebelling against its sense of black and white. I saw everyone talk about it, and I felt like the same people who had once pointed fingers at me, blaming me for something I hadn't done, were now pointing fingers at something I had done - I felt victorious. I didn't need to show myself and possibly want more than I had already let myself have - this was enough for me." 

You pulled your lips in a tight line, and hummed in response - there were two places that together had put in about twenty complaints, so you had to respond to all of them. You kept reminding yourself that neither did you have the space to feel sorry for him, nor did you have the power to say sorry to him. You simply kept your head turned to the screen, typing in answers to all the complaints. 

Taehyung leaned forward after a few seconds. "What punishment do you think I'll get, Officer?" 

"If the chief is feeling good, maybe you'll get community service, with a fine," You looked up at him. "Or maybe some time in jail." 

"How much time?"

"Maybe a month or two?" 

"Oh." Taehyung slumped back into his seat nonchalantly. "Cool then." 

How was he this calm? You thought to yourself. He might be going to jail. For a second time.

"Yup." You shut the laptop, finally, after hours of typing information and recording it. Sighing, you lifted the porcelain mug once again to absolutely drain it of coffee, your rather loud gulps echoing in the silence of your office. 

Taehyung tapped his fingers on the table- probably some old tune he had learnt before. You remembered that he played the saxophone - from nights of serenading tunes that he had played for you with his beloved instrument. "How long do you think the chief will take to reach here?" 

"A few hours, maybe? I'd expect him around ten, to be honest. Nevertheless, let me check." You quickly called the chief on your phone, hearing his ringtone play some old Korean trot song before it was picked up. 

"Hello, yes, yes, Y/N. I expected your call." A gravely, rather rough voice responded to you- like it hadn't been used for a few hours. "I shall be reaching the office around eleven. Keep Taehyung with you." 

"Yes sir," you said, keeping the phone on your table and turning to Taehyung.  "The chief said he'll be here by eleven." 

Taehyung nodded in acknowledgement. 

"It's nearly eight thirty now." You looked at the cuckoo clock again. "Would you like to freshen up?" 

"Where?" Taehyung asked, eyes widening. "Shouldn't I just be at the office?" 

"Yeah, you should. My place is right here- the back of this office is where I live, so you'll be fine." You look down at his clothes, grease, paint and metal shrapnel all over them. "Besides, you look like you need a change of clothes." 

Taehyung stepped into your house with an air of curiosity, to see how his once classmate was living. His head stooped low to enter through the small door you had, eyes widening in surprise when he found that the hall of your house was larger than he had anticipated. 

The house was quaint, a hall with an old couch which doubled as a bed when needed. There was a table in the middle of the room, too low to be a dining table and too high to be a center table. For coffee, maybe? There were maybe five or six magazines scattered haphazardly over it, covering nearly every inch- except for one corner, where Taehyung spotted a shining acrylic blue. 

You, however, spotted what page you had left a magazine open at. Squeaking, "I'm sorry!" you ran to shut the booklet close, afraid that Taehyung would spot your love for shirtless men. 

Picking up the magazines, you grinned sheepishly at him. "Just a moment! I'll be back, a bit of cleaning to be done, sit right here!" You patted the couch, trying to convince Taehyung. 

Taehyung turned away from the pictures he had been observing- was there one of you both? - and nodded, eyes widening in surprise as he saw how you scuttled away to hide the magazines. He looked around again, taking a feel of your house- it seemed like the old you. There was some patchwork embroidery you had left in a corner, atop what seemed to be a showpiece? Taehyung stepped closer to see it in detail, and was amazed at the way you had managed to drag the red thread over and over the pink fabric to make floral designs. It reminded him of the rose he had been trying to complete the previous night, and he grit his teeth. He shouldn't be thinking about that now. That shouldn't be what he does anymore. No more.

You came back, looking quizzically at him. "Take a seat, Taehyung! It's alright." 

"Uh, yeah." He shuffled over to the couch again. "Did you make that?" 

You looked in the direction his finger pointed to. "Yeah. Tried doing embroidery for stress release purposes." 

Taehyung grinned at you. "Stress release?" He asked, bemused. 

"Yup." You said while making sure that the magazines were well hidden. "The department I wanted to be in was forensics, you know?" Taehyung nodded, he had been privy to most of your discussions about the advances in forensic technology and analysis - even if he didn't understand anything, he knew your love for it. "Well, they didn't allow me. So the whole 'stress' thing began." You walked back to him, making air quotes as you emphasized on stress. "My mother suggested embroidery would take my mind off it. So, that incomplete piece you see there?" Taehyung nodded, concentrating on every word that left your mouth. "That started a few days ago." 

"It looks like it's complete, though- are you really good at it?" Taehyung looked at you again, turning back from the embroidery you were now rising to get. 

"Pretty much? It's easy once you get the hang of it." 

"Ah." Taehyung said, a dull silence settling into the room for a few moments as Taehyung looked around your room.  

"That picture." He pointed, and you turned your head around. The picture he was focusing on was on your mantelpiece, resting happily. The frame had butterflies stuck on its corners, two large and two small. The border was white, now off white, and had pink dots in certain places. It was a picture of fireworks- red, yellow and blue mixing together in a dull sky to breathe life into the picture. And right in the middle, surrounded by this liveliness, were you and Taehyung. Beaming. 

Taehyung turned to, finger still pointing at the picture. "That's our picture, right?" 

You hummed in affirmation. "That's us, freshman party. We had known each other for a few weeks at this time."

"And I had stopped someone from asking you out, right?" Taehyung reminisced. "That was fun." 

You snort. "You had punched him in the face when he asked for my name, Taehyung." 

Taehyung smiled. "I didn't want anyone to harm you, Y/N, and he seemed like he would harm you." He spread out his arms and grinned smugly at you. "In a way, I rescued you. That night." 

And so many other nights, you wanted to say. For all the time you had known Taehyung, he had been fiercely protective of you - for reasons he never truly told you. You didn't question it either, basking in the feeling of being wanted by someone. 

You cleared your throat, hoping to clear your mind as well. "You should go take a shower, Taehyung." Glancing at the clock, you noted the time and motioned towards the washroom. "It's nearly nine. Go take a shower, call for me if you need anything. I'll go get some clothes for you."

Taehyung nodded, rising up slowly to go in the direction you pointed. "Towels are inside," you shouted after him, and he yelled in response to say he understood. In some ways, too many ways, he felt like the Taehyung you once knew. 

You went to your room to pick out some clothes, opening your meager collection to salvage something that would fit Taehyung. Your eyes scanned over your uniforms, jumpsuits, jeans, t-shirts and finally landed on the hoodies- probably the largest collection in your wardrobe. Thankfully, you loved large, loose hoodies. You started pulling them out, holding each one up and imagining Taehyung's proportions in them. 

The red one, with blue paw prints. "Nah. Too tight." 

The black plain one. "That's mine, I'm not sharing that." 

The grey ones- nearly three. You skipped over all of them, not understanding how none of these oversized hoodies would seemingly fit Taehyung. He'd gotten humongous, broad shoulders and everything. 

You picked out a few more, trying to see whether it would be a fit. None worked. 

When you picked up the next one, you could already picture him wearing it. It was the hoodie you had taken from Taehyung during the first year you knew each other. You looked at its loose sleeves, stretchy from you tugging Taehyung behind you with it way back then. The green fabric of the hoodie was slightly pale in a certain spot - you had spilled soda all over him in a fit of anger.

During your forensic chemistry class,  the teacher didn't recognise their mistakes in the procedure (they used the wrong test for detecting the sample, and blamed it on you), and you were pretty miffed the whole day. Taehyung had bought sodas for the two of you, having planned to go stargazing later on. And you, in a terrible mood, flipped him off in a way that had the soda spilling over him. You cried, Taehyung laughed, but the hoodie was still stained. You took it with you later on to clean it - but the stubborn stain never left. You were agonized, Taehyung amused, but the hoodie- it was still stained. Taehyung had laughed it off, telling you to keep it with you for as long as you wanted- he could buy a dozen more hoodies to last him till then. 

When you left to head home that winter break, you had taken the hoodie with you. You had taken it on your date, crying on its sleeves when you were stood up. And when you came back, Taehyung was suddenly a criminal. 

You shook your head to remove the memories of that time, holding the hoodie in your hand and gently caressing its sleeves. So many memories were held in these threads that meshed together to form the fabric of your youth. Good or bad? You didn't want to dwell on that. 

"Y/N? Could I get the clothes now?" Taehyung called from the washroom. You picked up a extra large pair of cotton shorts and a hoodie, and passed it to him without really thinking- you'd done it before when he got drunk at college too, having him come over at your place, shower, change, and practically behave like a couple- at least, that's what you had thought of it then. 

Get it together, Y/N, why are you thinking about that? 

"Thanks!" he shouted again, grasping the clothes with his fingers and whisking them away to the confines of the washroom. 

You gripped at your hair and pinched your cheeks. You couldn't keep thinking about the old Taehyung. You didn't know if it was truly him anymore. 

"Uh, Y/N?" Taehyung stepped out of the washroom, the previously oversized shorts clinging to his thighs for dear life and the hoodie snugly fitting his figure. "I think it's a bit tight, but I'll make do." 

Your eyes widened in horror; Taehyung looked like he was moments away from bursting the shorts. "I'll get you new pants, wait a second. These ones don't fit." 

You turned back to your cupboard, looking for the loosest bottoms you could find. "I think the hoodie still fits though, right?" 

"Yeah." You heard Taehyung right over your shoulder, scaring you. 

"Jeez, when did you get this close to me?" You turned to face him, crossing your arms, looking at his hair which still had droplets sticking to its edges. 

"When did you get this far from me, Y/N?" His eyes bore into yours, sweetly intense eyes gazing at you like it was the first time he saw you. "What happened?" 

You shrugged, not wanting to answer it. You picked up a loose pair of denim jeans that you had found stuffed away at the back of your closet. Pushing it into his hands, you told him to go change. 

Apparently, your instructions fell on deaf ears. "What happened, Y/N? Answer me. Please."

You moved your gaze to his clothes, not wanting to focus on the thoughts that rushed back when you thought of him. What had happened? You moved your hands to your sides, resisting the need to hold him and know him all over again. "The hoodie looks good on you. Would you-" 

"So do our hands." He held yours, snugly fitting his palm- your calloused fingers against his calloused ones, heat burning in the sleeping embers of your palm. His eyes gazed at the joint fingertips almost reverently. "They fit well."

"Taehyung, now is not the time-" You begin, cut off by his frantic breathing.

"When is the time, Y/N? When will I get to live? When will I get to feel like a human? When will I be innocent?"

His hand caressed your palm, touching your forearm, your elbow, your shoulder, and your cheek -leaving a burning trail behind him everywhere he touched. You shivered. "Do you know how long I have wanted you, Y/N? Years. Seven years, now. I have loved you for years. I have wanted you for years. I did all sorts of things to remember you while in jail- kept asking for you, kept calling for you. I didn't want to forget you, Y/N. Not you. I couldn't forget you, no." 

He pressed your palm to his chest, and you could feel a dull thump echo through the clothes, reverberate in your palms. "That fire, Y/N. My passion in the promises I'd made to you. It never went anywhere. I always loved you. I always will. You can't make me leave again, not again. Please, no." 

He held your palm up to his cheeks, not regarding the tears that were streaking your cheeks and his. "You feel me, right? It's me. Taehyung. I am the one you trusted. I'm the same. Trust me again. Please." 

You tried to hold back the tears that threatened to slide down your cheeks, not wanting to pain Taehyung anymore. He held your forehead to his, pressing on the back of your head to meet his - upclose, you could see the redness that clouded the shine that his eyes would normally have. You couldn't hold back your tears anymore, nearly whimpering when you saw how broken he was- sirens swimming in the whirlpool of his eyes, singing songs of misery. "You know me, right? Do you know me? Do you recognize me? Kim Taehyung, police cadet. Your friend. Your classmate. You know me, right?" He asked, nose nearly brushing yours. "Do you know me?"He cried, eyes washing over the fire that ignited behind his pupils. You didn't see a vandal, or a criminal, or a friend. You saw a broken man. 

"Taehyung, oh, Tae," you cried, putting your hands on his shoulders, watching him slink down to the ground as his body trembled and shivered. You wrapped your arms close around his figure, unable to understand his pain but just wanting it to go away. 

You sat like that for a while, coaxing the tears and short whimpers out of him as he held onto your fingers, wanting to remember something he once had: you. 

"I always asked for you, you know that?" Taehyung shivered as he spoke, even if the chills of the weather outside barely seeped into your home. "I always loved you. I don't know why they kept me there for so long, Y/N. I didn't do anything wrong. I don't know why I'm made to feel like this…" he trailed away, tears gathering at his chin as they endlessly flowed down his cheeks. 

You glanced a nervous eye at the clock, wanting to make sure that you get to the station- no matter what happens. The bubbling of water distracted you from the ticking of the clock, and you turned off the stove. Scouring your cabinets for a chamomile tea bag was hard, but you knew you needed it. Taehyung always seemed to calm down with tea - you had used it multiple times before. Times of which you have multiple memories. Times you wish to forget. 

Why did I ever love Taehyung? The question kept echoing in your mind as you leaned on top of the kitchen counter top. Things would have been so much simpler if simply looking at him wasn't so hard. His smile, his behaviour, his tears - it was all but a painful reminder of what you could have been if things had gone different. If only. 

You poured the hot water into the mug you had settled on the kitchen top, watching the water bloom into a serene shade of yellow as you dipped the tea bag into it repeatedly. You prepared one mug, then another, hearing the soft declarations Taehyung kept repeating while he was seated. 

All you had wanted to study was forensic science, and that was simply for one reason: you didn't want to interact with people. 

People are complicated, over emotional beings. and you couldn't help but feel helpless every time you had to encounter a suspect. You would constantly be told by your professors to see them as lawbreakers - but all you tried finding was signs of humanity in them. That even the most vicious killers had scope for reform. That's why you stuck to the subjects you wanted - you were good at finding signs of life, not squashing them. You consistently failed those classes, without any doubt. And today, it seemed like all those classes were laughing at you. 

"Here." You handed the mug to Taehyung, who muttered thanks. He rubbed his hands once or twice on the pants you told him to change into and took a sip from the warm tea. You resisted the urge to reach out and wipe the tears that lined his face, and try and wipe the scars of the past that had scarred him so badly - but you couldn't. You were a mere spectator in the game of his life. You couldn't possibly do anything other than hurt him more. 

"Thank you. For letting me express all of it. I could finally say everything that I wanted to before I was forbidden from speaking about it again." Taehyung tapped against the mug, fingernails resting on ceramic as the sun slowly headed westward. "I'm sorry that I've been such a burden to you, Y/N. I wonder if I can do anything to reduce the pain and confusion I put you through - I doubt I can." He looked at you carefully, though you couldn't tell what he was thinking. "Thank you." 

You let his words echo in the room, preoccupied with your thoughts. It hurt you to see him so broken, and you couldn't help but worry about him. 

"Taehyung, I-" You opened your mouth to respond, watching Taehyung pay attention to every move you made - only to be interrupted by your phone loudly ringing. 

"Sorry, this must be important." You got up to get your phone, watching Taehyung slump in his seat from the edge of your vision. 

"It's the chief," you announced, picking up the phone. 

He got straight to the point. "Come to the station, soon. Bring Taehyung with you." he told, his voice laced with a rather sharp edge- a tone that you had recognized in the years you had worked under him. Things were- most probably- not good. 

You responded with a simple "yes", mind dwelling on the impending result that Taehyung would get. You felt that it would be unlikely that he would be going to jail- at least, you hoped so.

Turning to Taehyung, you tried to hide the fear and shakiness that lined your voice. "Let's go." 

Taehyung sighed, playing with the mug as he rose up. "It's time, isn't it?"

"Good morning, Sir." You greeted the chief as he hurried into the small office, giving Taehyung a glance and then facing you. 

"Morning." He gruffly responded, turning to your laptop. "We found an eyewitness for the vandalism, so we are getting them for the interrogation as well." 

"Another interrogation? We've already done it, sir, and all the information is recorded here. I doubt it will be necessary-"

"Please, Y/N," He calmly said. "Leave the decision about it being necessary to me." 

You stepped back, subconsciously edging closer to Taehyung - a move noticed by the chief as well. 

"Y/N," he began, "I need to speak to you. In private. Step outside for a few moments, please." 

You nodded, briskly walking towards the doors and yanking them open. There was a warm gust of wind that blew across your face, and you turned to face the chief. 

"Y/N," the chief began, before pausing for a moment, "Officer Y/N. I'm going to need you to think clearly now." 

"Yes." You set your features as tightly as you could, not wanting to seem distracted in any way. 

"Do you have any type of bias in this case, perhaps due to your past relation with him?" he looked quizzically at you, as if trying to decipher an enigma scribbled onto your face. 

Your blood chilled, for some reason. Were you having any bias? "No, sir." 

The chief hummed - you couldn't make head or tail of his reaction. He kicked at a pebble before continuing. "From the recordings I heard the previous night in the office, and the way you let him come with you to freshen up a bit, one particular thing has struck me: you were trying to find reasons for Taehyung to be justified as a victim, weren't you?" 

You gulped before responding. "Yes, sir. I believe the culprit committed vandalism as a coping mechanism to get over the hurt caused over the years." 

The chief sighed heavily. "Well then," he said, "I suggest we continue with our investigation, and find a way to make sure the culprit in the matter is stable as well. We can't have repeated cases like these - we have a reputation to uphold for the police as well." 

You nodded stiffly. "Yes, sir." 

The chief sighed again, glancing at the street. "Our witness should be here soon." He turned to you again. "Funnily enough, she volunteered as a witness with CCTV backup to claim that Taehyung had vandalized her shop too. Apparently she heard you arrest him last night - so we have to hear her out." 

The chief turned again to the road, eyes narrowing in hopes of spotting the witness soon. "The investigator whom she contacted has said she is a reliable witness, but I'm going to need to verify her statement nonetheless." He turned back, heading into the office.

You stared at the road that the chief was looking at before - the direction from which the supposedly reliable eyewitness would come, before heading back inside. 

Taehyung was still slumped in his seat, fingers tracing drawings all over the pants you had given him. The chief was shuffling around behind the desk, pulling two spare chairs ahead - one for Taehyung, you presumed, and one for the eyewitness - whoever that would be. 

"Mr. Kim Taehyung," the chief began, "there has been an eyewitness who has offered their testimony - whether it is to defend you, or further establish evidence of you vandalizing public spaces, I'm not yet aware. We shall be interrogating them - and maybe you, as well, now." 

Taehyung rose up from the corner he had settled into, and shuffled into the seat the chief had set for him, wordlessly. 

The door opened to reveal an older lady, dressed in a purple shaded hanbok, hair delicately pulled back into a tight bun and eyes peering around the whole office in curiosity. She found the chief, walking closer to the desk where he was arranging the records. "I'm here as the eyewitness..?"She said, looking at both you and the chief. 

"Ah, yes. I presume you're Ms. Park?" The chief asked, pulling the chair out for her to settle into it. Under the light that shined across her face, you could make out the wrinkles that lined her skin and the greys in her hair - not that that was relevant to what would happen. 

"I saw him vandalize the outside of my store a few days ago," she earnestly began, pulling out pictures that she had taken of the design on her window.  "I'm a florist, you see. His designs are clearly inspired by that, aren't they?" She pushed the pictures in front of your vision, and you could see what she meant - the designs of orchids, hibiscus and asters stared back at you, intricately painted onto the glass windows of the florist's shop. 

She pulled out more pictures. "There's been similar instances all over the neighbourhood- the other florist had a rose, the school received drawings full of children's stories and fairy tales, and had their walls painted with similar stories. In fact, the restaurants around here even said that their menus were drawn onto the streets, right in front of their doorstep." 

The chief looked at the pictures carefully, with you peering at them as well, taking in the detail that Taehyung had while he worked while making each of his works- no, vandalising, you corrected yourself. He raised an eyebrow at the eyewitness, who seemed to shrink into her seat. "What does this bring forward as evidence for or against the culprit? We already know what the crime is, and its details. We just have to determine a punishment- either a hefty fine or jail. Do you have anything that can justify him getting exempted from either?"

Ms. Park looked at you and the chief before turning to Taehyung apologetically, placing a hand on his knee - as if consoling him. "I think that at the end of the day, all he was doing was beautifying the neighbourhood, wasn't he? And most of the residents here don't have a problem with it-" the chief looked at her incredulously- "so please, don't punish him or something. A lot of people appreciate his work in our neighborhood, you know?" 

"But we have been receiving complaints about him since the past few days," the chief said. "Why the sudden change in opinion?"

Ms. Park fidgeted with the hem of her hanbok for a few moments, shaking her head nervously. "Some of us shopkeepers were really bothered by it at first, yes, but we also had some customers come over to inquire about the artwork. It looked professional to them. So we came to an ultimatum : we will let this young man paint and draw for us, on our walls, as much as he wants - as long as it's pretty," she emphasized, one hand patting her chest, "we'll pay him to do it." 

You held back a sob as you saw Taehyung's eyes glimmer - a ray of hope shining in them.His knee bounced up and down- a habit you knew was something he had had since years - and he smiled softly when Ms. Park squeezed his hand. You felt like things were finally going to go well. The chief exhaled roughly before rubbing his forehead, glancing at Ms. Park, who smiled at him in the hope that he would understand her reasoning. 

"The law, honestly, doesn't care about intentions- I don't think I really understand why I should even let him go. Vandalism is a punishable offence, and the perpetrator has been aware of its consequences. Why the sudden feeling to save him?" The chief questioned, eyes steely and tough. 

Ms. Park hesitated for a few moments. "I believe he deserves a second chance." She pulled her chair ahead, the metal ends scraping against the tiles, and pleaded once again. "He was arrested for years for something he hadn't even done - and now, might face a few more months in the same place for simply being artistic. I don't think it deserves punishment."

"That's for the law to decide, not you, madam." The chief sternly said. "I suggest you leave such decisions to us."

The room remained tense and quiet for the next few moments, and your eyes were trained on Taehyung. You noticed the quiver in his hands, the way he shrunk into his chair - as if to hide away from whatever the upcoming decision would be. 

Ms. Park was the first to interrupt the loud silence. "Oh, come on. Let me just pay for the boy's bail." 

The clock chose that moment to loudly announce the next hour: was it eleven? Twelve? You weren't paying attention. You only saw the way Taehyung rose up from his seat - in happiness, you thought - with fists sticking to his sides. "No. I won't accept it." 

You felt the chief look with just as much disbelief as you did. Why was he so hellbent on being a perpetrator when he could be free? 

Ms. Park laughed. "No. I'm not listening to that whole self righteous thing that you probably have," she swatted the air with her hand, as if to push away any explanations Taehyung could give.

"Look, ma'am. I have the money to get a bail, or even pay the fine. I don't want you to pay for me and then hold it above my head like a massive favour you have done for me." Fire blazed in his eyes as he spoke up, rather indignantly. "I can take care of myself." 

"To hell with that attitude," Ms. Park said. "I decided to help you because I didn't want you to suffer once again because of misunderstandings." She pulled Taehyung back to sit on his chair, clasping his hand between her wrinkled ones. "You had to go through so much pain at such a young age - no one deserves that. I was a mere bystander at the time you were arrested, and I regretted it then. I still regret it now." 

She sighed before caressing the back of his hand lovingly, thumb gently pressing on the skin- as if to feel the pain those hands had to go through, and you thought you saw a hint of a tear on his cheeks. "So don't question me for 'saving' you, or something - what you did was perfectly fine for me. I love the way my street looks now, and so do the neighbours. All that really remained was the artist's identity- and now that I know it's you, I don't feel any sort of guilt in justifying what you did." 

You were right. Taehyung was crying. It wasn't silent tears that rained gently down his cheeks, it was a whole thunderstorm. You saw the chief turn away, from the corner of your vision, but you couldn't bring yourself to do the same. He was biting on his bottom lip to hold back any of the sobs or whimpers that came, head lowering to hide the tears. 

Ms. Park simply caressed his hand, over and over, till he calmed down enough to wipe his tears with his free hand. And when he raised his head up, you saw him like a new person. The wound up Taehyung you had met again a few hours ago was slowly vanishing - in his stead, there was a free Taehyung who smiled like the world's burden had been lifted off his shoulders. "Thank you," he murmured. 

The chief sighed again. "I still don't understand how it came to this." 

"Neither do I," Ms. Park laughed. "But it is what it is. We'll pay the fine."

"I'll do it," Taehyung started, only to be shushed by the elder lady. "I want to do it. Let me do it." She turned again to the chief, the bubbly happiness giving way to seriousness. "You can make sure he pays the fine, right? Withdraw the complaints for us too." 

The chief looked at you and nodded, and you got to work - carefully opening the laptop again and making sure that you transferred the report from 'investigation' to 'resolved', and that the complaint was withdrawn. 

The chief, meanwhile, made physical records of it, and informed Taehyung of the fine - which, despite his insistence, Ms. Park paid off, whipping out a cheque she had kept ready, somehow. You added the details to his resolved record as the chief dictated them to you, keeping them for future references - which you hoped would only be needed to prove his innocence in any situation. 

Nearly twenty minutes of details, questioning, and a written assurance from Taehyung that he would be liable to arrest if he continued illegal activities, it was done. Taehyung was free. 

The chief read over the details once again, thoroughly, eyes getting heavier and softer with every document he checked. Once it was all done, filed, and you had stacked the records back in the drawers they were placed in, the chief sagged into the chair, hands clutching the steel arms for support. 

"Thank God," he whispered, eyes closed. "You're fine now." He got up shakily, hands wiping at his eyes to erase any traces of the tears that had possibly leaked out. He walked around the table, reaching for Taehyung - as if beyond the lines of that desk, his duties as an officer stopped and those as a teacher resumed. "Don't you dare do that again, Taehyung. Never again." He held his student by the shoulder tightly, gripping him and shaking him a little - like a parent would scold a kid. "Live a good life, please." 

Taehyung nodded frantically, eyes still wide in disbelief as he ignored the grubby tear streaks on his face. "I will, sir." He had his hands placed politely in front of him, trembling fingers clutching onto the rough denim fabric of the old, loose jeans you had made him wear. 

"Live well," the chief repeated again, thumping Taehyung's shoulder once and then turning around to collect the documents he would need to take with him. He bowed to Ms. Park, who acknowledged him before something at a corner of the small office caught her eye, and turned sharply to you. "Officer Y/N," he began, and you tensed a little bit more. "There was an opening last night in the forensic science department that I got notice of," he said, a smile tugging on the edges of his lips when he saw how your demeanor brightened. "Reach the head office tomorrow in the morning at ten, and I'll give you the details. All the best." 

You hastily held back the sudden smile that threatened to split on your face, smartly saluting your senior before he turned around to leave the office. As he opened the door, you felt a burst of warmth all over your body - the heat of the sunshine rushing into the room. 

Ms. Park walked from her corner to Taehyung, taking his palm between hers and squeezing. "I'm happy that you're free now, Taehyung." She looked carefully at his face - sternness making way for soft concern, and said, "Live wisely. If you need money, or a job to get you started, come to my shop - it's the one you painted with orchids. You remember it, right?" 

Taehyung responded with a rather choked 'yes', nodding his head frantically. He placed his other, trembling hand upon the lady's hands, and solemnly thanked her. 

"That's not needed, I told you." She smiled, before patting his cheek. "You deserve to let yourself live, so use this chance well. Work hard." She turned her head to look through the window behind her, groaning a bit at the sight of the brightly burning sun. "I better leave now - it seems that I'll end up getting a sunburn the nearer to twelve it is." She turned back to Taehyung, smiling softly, and patting his cheek. "Turn up at the shop tomorrow morning, we'll figure something out." 

"Oh, and officer?" she faced you, pointing in the corner where she was standing a few moments before. "I think my grandson had left his plushie over here a few days ago - it's this one, right?" You followed where her hand was pointing, finding a pumpkin plushie left casually on top of a table. "Sungwoo told me he had lost it some time ago, so I just thought it was this one," she laughed awkwardly. 

"I think it is his, he had come yesterday to file a missing complaint for it too," you said, causing Ms. Park to laugh. "He really loves it, doesn't he?" 

"He's not slept well since it went missing. Anyways, I better take it with me, if that's all."

"Just a moment, ma'am," you stopped her hastily. "He'd left a note for the plushie too - I believe Peter?" 

The elderly woman laughed at her grandson's antics, taking the note you offered her and grinning as she read it. "Yes, yes, Peter. I'll take the note with me. Thank you so much for everything, officer."

Thank you, you wish to say - unable to understand how she volunteered to be an eyewitness and defend the one person you cared so much for. Maybe words wouldn't be enough for you to convey how grateful you were to her, so you simply bowed to the woman. 

She took Taehyung's hand again, gently pressing on the back of his hand. "Your mother used to help me out in the shop, you know." Taehyung nodded, and she smiled. "Your hands are like hers. Delicate, yet strong. You can craft beauty with this hand, Taehyung." She squeezed his hand, smiling. "Don't just let that beauty slip away from you." 

She patted his hand again, before turning to you and smiling, and heading out. The sunlight bounced off her gray hair to shine on Taehyung as you looked at him - even with a tired expression, he looked more alive than you had seen him in the last few hours. 

"I'm free," he said, saying it aloud and letting himself feel the sensation for a few moments. 

He turned to you, watching the way your eyes told him that you understood everything you wanted to tell him - even the things he himself didn't understand. "I'm free, Y/N," he repeated, carefully examining his wrists that were once bound with handcuffs - no. There were no restraints there. 

His eyes panned around the room. There was no investigator who questioned him about why he simply couldn't admit his crime. No one who made fun of him for seeking comfort in his art - even if it was illegal. "I'm really free," he murmured again.

Taehyung leaped towards you, pulling you close and holding you tight, as if unable to believe that you were there with him: and that he was here with you for as long as he wanted to be. You let your arms circle around his neck, one curling through the hair at his nape and pulling him further into your embrace, and the other spread out over his back - trying to remind yourself that yes, he was here, with you. 

"Thank you," you felt him murmur into your shoulder. 

"For what?"

"Just being here. With me." He sighed, further tightening the hands that rested around your waist. "After so many unfamiliar faces over the years, seeing yours feels like a reward of sorts for behaving well." 

You laughed at him, slapping his back light heartedly. "Don't talk like you did anything wrong all those years ago. It's not good." You let your hands pane across the expanse of his skin, feeling him cling on to you as you tried to calm him down. "I'm happy for you, Tae." 

He held you like that, for a few more moments - like you were slowly pulling him back into what could be his new normal life. Waking up every day in a room that doesn't have steel bars as a door. Not having to crash at the old house that had haunted him for years. Not having to hide his face in the fear that someone would taunt him for his past. Actually doing something that made him feel happy, confident, and alive. 

"I'm happy too," he murmured into your shoulder. You hummed as he looked beyond your frame to see the streets outside the window - seeing how they were illuminated in daylight. How animatedly people were talking about what their plans for the day were. A kid kept hopping on a chalk drawing of hopscotch he had drawn on the footpath, clutching onto a plushie that oddly seemed like a pumpkin. Someone walked around their stall, setting things up for the day. 

You pulled him away from your grip to look at him again - not wanting to forget any part of him in any way. "I still care for you as much as I did all those years ago, you know." You put your hands on his biceps, just as you used to do when you had to knock sense into your friend. "You better not hide anything from me now." 

"I have no intentions of," he grinned. "Thank you very much." 

You giggled, a feeling you hadn't felt in years fluttering around your stomach like butterflies. 

"About us," Taehyung began, holding your hands in his, "You know that I love you, right?" You felt yourself tense up, and probably Taehyung did too, as he squeezed your hands. "I'm not in any hurry. I want to take some time to understand myself and what I want to do before I think of anything with you. But when I'm settled, and I'm someone I can be proud of, I want to come back to you. Be with you forever." He let go of your hands to hold your cheeks, smiling as he saw your big eyes peer at him. "You'll let me, right?" 

Your eyes softened. "Of course, Taehyung."

"Tae." He corrected you, coming closer to press a kiss on your forehead. 

You smiled when he moved back, glancing down at all of him and laughing. "For beginners, how about we get you clothes to change into?" 

He looked down at his clothes, laughing with you. "Let's go, then?" 

You nodded at him, pulling him out of the office, and locking it securely before turning to a widely grinning Taehyung. "I have a feeling I'm going to love the daytime. It's just so positive, and nice, don't you think? Really warm all over." 

"You're just saying that because you lived like a night owl," you laughed at him, watching his eyes sparkle in the sunshine. 

"Yeah, that wasn't the best way to live, was it?" He clicked his tongue and frowned. "Guess I better start living well now. To new beginnings, then, Officer!!" He grinned and poked your forehead. 

You watched Taehyung skip over the pebbles that were lined outside the office, walking freely on the streets, feeling the dread that you had let build up in your heart for so long slowly drain out of you. "Wait for me!" You screamed behind him, running to catch up to him. To new beginnings, you thought. 

a/n: hopefully, this piece of writing was worth your time 😊 thank you so much for reading graffiti and chalk!! I'd love to hear any feedback you have. Feel free to send it in as a comment, reblog, or as an ask! love, hazel 💞

taglist: @taejinnies (the torture is over bahaha), @xiaokoo, @thedarkwinterrose, @shatzkrinslinzki

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