#and of course he still loves metallica and ozzy etc.

[marvins-linguinie]

i start writing a fic and everything is fine, i update it weekly, and then i start another one, and get so stressed out, then i drop both of them. in conclusion, I WANT TO WRITE A STEDDIE DADS FIC SO BAD BUT I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN BECAUSE I'M ALREADY WRITING TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT FICS

[sociallyawkwardsailor]

Just finished watching this, because I often get gatekept with respect to the metal I like, and I’m relieved to see it’s not just me that can’t get into the “classic metal” bands.

My parents’ generation especially thinks that metal officially ended in 1989 and nothing good has been made since (especially the typical “METALLICA SOLD OUT” once James Hetfield no longer dressed like it was 1984).  But yeah, as Finn says in his video, I’m a fan of songs here and there, but I can’t get into the bands as a whole, because I grew up with ‘90s Metallica ("the black album” being their first album I bought), which evolved into heavier stuff as I was introduced by friends in high school, like Cradle of Filth, Rammstein, Amon Amarth, etc.  So yeah none of this is anything I’d choose to listen to, because as he put it perfectly, it feels like a downgrade, KISS being a perfect example.  The corpse paint and shit they had going on makes me expect something a lot more brutal than the music they actually made.  The vocals are not my thing either, and to me, all these bands sound the same (minus Ozzy because you know when it’s Ozzy Osbourne ffs).

What’s funny is that current bands will sometimes cover old songs by these bands, I’ll listen to the original, and still like the new band’s version better.  Iron Maiden’s “Hallowed Be Thy Name” is a good example, which was covered by Cradle of Filth.  Or Volbeat doing this one here.  No matter how hard my dad tries to get me to love the original (because of course it was “back when music was actually good)”, I just can’t do it.

Of course I do have some ‘80s stuff in my library (I do own Metallica’s entire discography for example), but generally speaking, classic metal just ain’t doin’ it for me.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #178

“for such a little thing, you sure are in your own way.”

What’s your favorite type of bird? Barn owls are actual deities. What was on the last sandwich you ate? Pb & j. What sort of music did you listen to when you were in high school? Same stuff I listen to now, although I had a mild screamo-ish phase. Have you ever gotten back together with an ex? No. How far away is the closest store to your house and what is it? Some cheap dollar store in the town, dunno names. What is your favorite Thai dish? Haven't tried any. When was the last time you made out with somebody? Over a month back. What month of the year was your mother born? August. Are there any candles in your bedroom, and what scent are they? No. What TV show(s) have you been watching currently? None. How many apps do you have on your phone? Six. My phone has so, so little storage ugh. Have you ever dated a smoker? If not, would you? No to both. Are there any movies you’ve seen so many times? Yeah, sure. Of course a lot as a kid, Finding Nemo and The Lion King 1 & 2 especially, then I've watched both Blair Witch Project movies a lot, Jim Carrey's How the Grinch Stole Christmas... How would you describe your sense of humor? Sarcastic. What’s your favorite type of bread? Pumpernickel. Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? Yeah. Have there ever been any brushfires/wildfires in your area? Yeah. What did you have to eat for dinner last night? Nothing (Thanksgiving was lunch). Do you have separate emails for personal and business? No. Have you ever missed a flight? Yes. Do you know your significant other’s passwords? No, I have no reason to. Would you like to study abroad one day? No. Does someone have a crush on you but you don’t feel the same way? Idk. Who do you feel most beautiful around? Sara. /v\ What’s one makeup item you cannot live without? I could easily live without any. Is there one thing all of your ex’s had in common? All guys. Did you french kiss before you were 16? No. Imagine your spouse just died; would you get re-married? I don't know if I would. Like... I'd never stop loving her, so "moving on" to someone else just because she's no longer physically here would feel disloyal. What’s your favorite thing about life? New, fun experiences and creating strong bonds with people like you. Who pays for the first date? Idrc, but probably whoever proposed the date? Or split the bill? Have you ever had a friend that got a bf/gf, and then completely ignored you? Yeah. Do you play any computer games, if so, what ones? Not currently 'cuz my gaming laptop has to be fixed. :| When it is and I have my own income, I might return to WoW, but I'm not sure. I think the subscription is kinda high, and I have more important things to handle. What is the funniest movie you’ve ever seen? Idk why I find White Chicks so goddamn funny. What lyric means the most to you? Off the very top of my head, "A bloody war behind my eyes; I'll come all right on the other side" from "Free" by Mother Mother. Really makes me think of all I've been through but how I keep coming out stronger. Who is the smartest person you know? Girt. What’s the next movie you will see in theaters? Idk. Are you adopted? No. What band do you like that most people hate? You canNOT look me in the face and say you don't like at least one Nickelback song. I don't get the hate. Any new bands that you actually enjoy? Oh idk. What is your escape from reality? RPing. Do you have any self-inflicted scars on your arms? You can only just barely see them. Do you like “scene” hair? YEAH AND I ALWAYS FUCKING WANTED IT BUT I COULD NEVER POSE IT CORRECTLY 'CUZ MY HAIR WAS TOO THICK AND HEAVY. Have your parents ever been to jail? No. If your friend asked you to hold their drugs, would you? Definitely not. Does it scare you when a relationship moves too fast? Y E A H Would you ever consider hitchhiking? I don't know if I would even in a desperate situation... I don't trust people. Have you ever hitchhiked? No. Have you ever been to a music festival? No. What color car do you want to have? Burnt orange. Would you rather hike a mountain or explore a cave? Explore a cave!!! Would you rather wear a flower crown or veil? Probably a veil? Do you believe peace on earth is attainable? I honestly don't believe so. What type of tattoo do you want? s o  m a n y What is your favorite insect? Butterflies. Would you ever live in the desert? Nooooo. Fuck the heat. Is your town beautiful? I don't really live in one, but the closest town isn't. Which season do you want to get married in? Autumn. Are totem poles cool? YEAH! Favorite art forms? Conceptual photography. What kind of music do you enjoy? Plenty sorts of metal, rock, and alternative. Do you have any gay friends? Yeah. Where is your favorite place to go? The zoo, even though I have mixed feelings about them... Do you know your dad? Yeah. How often do you get on Facebook? At least once a day. Are you related to anyone who’s in prison? Don't think so?? What concerts are you attending in the near future? Y'ALL I MIGHT FUCKING SEE OZZY IN JANUARY. He and Megadeth are coming to Charlotte and the tickets aren't too bad. :') It's a loooong drive but Mom was like "hell yeah" when I told her and wants to buy tickets after she gets her tax return AH. Metallica is a possibility too, but Mom doesn't think she can afford it. If you were kicked out of your house, where would you go first? Dad's. What are you currently looking forward to? Sara's b-day, Christmas, hopefully getting my laptop fixed, aforementioned concerts, and school. What was the reason you got grounded for last? Idk, that was a long time ago. But most likely for "talking back" to Mom. The last two people you kissed, are they virgins? Yes; probably not. Is there a guy that knows everything or mostly everything about you? Yeah. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed? A bit to the left. If you could have anything delivered to your doorstep each morning, what would it be? Um,,, money?????? What is one vacation destination that many people think is just fabulous but which you personally have no desire to visit (or revisit)? New York City. Heard from my sister it's a shithole with the craziest and rudest people known to Planet Earth. I'm not big on cities, anyway. Which animated character is your all-time favorite? Uhhhhhh... Dory, maybe? If you could own a home on the shore of any body of water in the world, which waterfront would you choose? I WANT THE PINK BEACHES OF THE BAHAMAS. But I'm scared of the Bermuda Triangle so will probably never see them. :'''''') What serves as the greatest motivation for you in your daily life? MY RECOVERY. If I got through what I have, I can't ever give up and roll back down that hill. I'm focusing to always improve. If you could have any round object in the world, what spherical item would you want? t h e  g a m e s p h e r e ,  l a d s If you were left alone for one hour with nothing more than a pen and a notepad, what would you be inclined to draw or write during those 60 minutes? Practice eyes or start a poem. If you could witness anything at all in super-slow motion, what would you want to see? Hmmm... OH, maybe a big cat's tongue licking meat. See how it actually shears tiny bits off. Cats' tongues are cool. What do you forget to do more often than anything else? Take my anxiety med at the right time. If you could teach everyone in the world one skill, what would it be? Compassion. You’ve been offered the chance to paint a billboard along a highway with any message you choose, as long as it’s only 10 words long. What is your message? Oh jeez, I'd have to think too hard on this. Who’s the last guy to give you roses? Tyler. Did your parents do drugs when they were younger? Not to my knowledge, and I doubt they would've. Do you have any relatives who live on a different continent than you? I don't believe so. What are your religious beliefs? Were you raised with those beliefs, or did you develop them on your own? I'm a theist, entailing I believe in a creator, but I know nothing about him/her/it. I personally picture them as a peaceful and sage deity that allows life to go on without it intervening anywhere, letting the world evolve on its own and see how we adapt to our unique settings and handle life. In the end, I believe we are either given some form of paradise or a type of damnation depending on how you wrote your story. I like to imagine the good go to their personal vision of "Heaven," and I wonder if the paranormal activity some experience in life are the acts of the damned, apparently confined to remain on Earth or something. Anyway, I wasn't raised with such beliefs; they were developed. I was brought up Catholic, then I turned to just simple Christianity as I didn't agree with a lot of Catholic ideas, and most recently I abruptly turned away from that in favor of theism. How did you and your significant other celebrate your last anniversary? We went out for breakfast. What has been your favorite house/apartment/etc you’ve ever lived in? My last house for location, as a house itself, my childhood one. What’s something in your house that currently needs to be cleaned? I need to vacuum my room. Do you still remember any of the dreams or nightmares you had as a child? Yup. What’s the most bizarre conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of? The world is donut-shaped. Yeah. Do you have a good sense of direction? Not. At. All. Who was your first crush? Did you ever actually date them? Dylan, and no. What’s the weirdest, rudest, or most ridiculous thing a guest has ever done in your home? Who knows. Has anyone ever told you you’re manipulative? I don't think so. Do you know anyone who owns their own business? No. When was the last time you weren’t 100% sober? Uhhh maybe that movie night with Colleen and Chelsea. Is obtaining a college degree something that is important to you? Well, for my possible career future. Have you ever eaten at a vegan restaurant? No. Do you view substance abuse as a disease or a choice? I have... mixed feelings here. Starting something, that is indisputably a choice. Becoming addicted though, I'm not sure. Some people have addictive personalities so have a bigger inclination to become addicted, but isn't that just a personal trait/weakness you can fight?? I dunno. I know it's labelled as a disease by people way more informed than me though, so. What does the last text you sent say? Don't feel like checking. Does it bother you when people call you ‘ma'am’ or ‘sir?’ No. I live in the South, that's polite. Have you ever been obsessed with a television character? Does Dory count for movies? ha ha Do you ever wish you had powers of invisibility? Not really. What was the last thing that changed your life completely? Recovery. Do you have any step siblings? One. Have you ever been questioned by the police? No. In which state/country were you born? NC, U.S.A. Have you ever been to an amusement park out of state? Disney World. What do you normally drink when eating at a fast food restaurant? Coke or Mountain Dew. Have the police ever been looking for you? Not because I did something wrong; I've told the beach story a few times. If you chew gum, which kind is your favorite? I love the watermelon Hubba Bubba one asjfawoeu Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? Yeah. What was the last liquid that you choked on? Water, just this morning when I was taking my meds ah. How many times did you wake up today before actually getting up? Well, I woke up once in the middle of the night like usual, then I woke up at like, 6-something and went back to sleep. Who did you celebrate your last birthday with? Mom, sises, Ash's husband and kids, and Dad stopped by. Was your last kiss initiated by you or the other person? I think it was kinda a simultaneous thing. We were saying bye. Do you buy a ton of things at the store at once or just for that day? Mom does the shopping, but it depends on how much time she has and what's at the house. When getting dressed do you put your pants or shirt on first? Pants. When you kiss a person where do your hands usually go? I actually don't know if it's a consistent thing for me??? I don't kiss anyone regularly so I don't recognize a pattern. What is one song you listen to that you’re sure not many people do? "False Flags," probs. Massive Attack is so neglected of the attention they deserve. Do you use a handrail on stairs if there is one? Yes, I'm scared of tripping. What was the last thing you saw that made you smile? Teddy came right up into my face wanting attention. What is your favorite drinking game? Never played any. Do you have any tattoos that you don’t like anymore? I think I've mentioned why I don't love my "ohana" one now. I'm getting it covered at some point. My "perfectly flawed" one is probably getting covered by a much bigger piece; I picked a bad location for it to want a sleeve. I'd just maybe redesign it, put if somewhere else. Do you have a shower curtain or door? Curtain. Who was the last person from your high school graduating class you saw? Probs Colleen? Who was the last non-relative you hung out with? Sara. Are you listening to anything right now? I'm way too obsessed with "Black Wedding" by In This Moment (feat. Rob Halford). Rob makes it, and the chorus is awesome. How many keys are on your keychain? One. Who was the last person you took a photograph with? Ryder, my nephew. Are you left handed? No. What were you most scared of when you were little? Losing my mom/being separated from her. Are you biracial? No. When was the last time you painted your nails? What color(s)? I couldn't even guess. Has a stranger ever offered to buy you a drink? Thank fuck no. Have you ever overflown a bathtub? Don't think so. What’s at the top of your to-do list in life? Stay positive, never stop aiming to improve. What was the last thing you shared? Well, Thanksgiving food. Where are you most ticklish? Feet. Do not- Which cartoon character do you want to keep as a pet? Uhhhh how 'bout an Espeon. I imagine them to be calm and silently affectionate like cats and very intelligent. Have you ever considered a career in music/acting? No. When was the last time you felt seriously embarrassed? Getting food yesterday. Per usual, let things die down, but I still ended up crammed in a corner, unable to go in any direction while someone was trying to get past me. I was headed for an anxiety attack and felt like a total nuisance. I'm pretty sure it showed in how I was whipping my head around, shuffling in various directions, clearly wanting the fuck out. Have you ever liked a song, looked up the lyrics to it, then hated it? No, lyrics can't ruin a song I like the sound of. What would be the icing on the cake for you this Christmas? A PS4, omg. I have to get my laptop fixed and a new camera, so I highly doubt I'm getting that or a tablet considering cost. I want to play the Spyro Reignited trilogy beyond words, like I refuse to even watch a let's play because I want to experience it all first-hand, but. Yeah, unlikely anytime soon. If you had the opportunity to live forever, would you take it? Noooooo. Do you like quesadillas? Only chicken and/or cheese ones. Did you like the show Invader Zim? I surprisingly never saw it. What’s the greatest/most influential song you’ve ever heard? "Life Won't Wait" by Ozzy always makes me wanna get off my ass and do something. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen in a grocery store? A HUGE BOX OF ANIMAL HEADS IN THE MIDDLE OF WAL-MART, BECKONING THE FURRIES INTO ITS DEPTHS. Have you ever bought yourself a present on Christmas? No. Well, I've used money I've been given on Christmas, if that counts. Have you ever been on a mechanical bull? No. Do you need a key card to get into the building you live in? No. Have you ever stepped in chewing gum? Yes. Name all the people you know that you’ve seen today. Just Mom.

[thisisnot-chris]

No story is perfect.

Never in a million years would I have thought my life's journey would turn out the way it has these past 29 years.

I remember growing up imagining what my life would be like after high school - wanted to be a meteorologist, thought I'd graduate college, have a wife and kids, you know... a "traditional American life".

Fast forward about a decade after high school - college wasn't for me in the long run, figured out I'm gay, and am now working in the music business - concert venue by day, producer by night.

Didn't see that coming.

Now obviously this didn't just happen out of nowhere - it came after years of working on a craft I never imagined I'd put my time into, putting myself out there after being a super shy little punk for so long, learning so many lessons the hard way, and connecting with so many people I never thought I'd meet. Through it all, I discovered what my life's passion is - to create genuine and authentic music listeners can feeling intense emotion from while bringing people together through it.

It's funny to look back on this because I HATED doing music related things when I was a young kid, from piano lessons, to choir practice, to playing the alto sax. But all it took was one moment to change my perspective on it and end up devoting my life to it.

That moment was during my junior year of high school.

An old friend that just transferred to my class from another school caught my attention when I discovered he was practicing guitar after school in an empty classroom while I was waiting for the school bus to pick me up and take me home. I wish it took longer for the bus to come because he was INCREDIBLE and I wanted to sit and listen endlessly. Imagine being 16 and playing Metallica's "Master of Puppets" spot on; that's what he could do alongside so many other songs. Pantera? Megadeth? Ozzy? Van Halen? Slayer? He could take it all on. (Fun side fact - I got to perform Aerosmith's "Dream On" and Ozzy's "Crazy Train" with him for our high school graduation and I WAS THE SINGER - definitely not a rock vocalist when I look back on it but it's a memory I still cherish today).

So that moment and hanging around him shortly after convinced me to try out the guitar.

And then a couple years later, it led me to try songwriting.

And finally during my freshman year of college, it led me to electronic music production (Thanks to Skrillex's music blowing up at the time).

Not what I expected but it got me somewhere thanks to my old friend.

Unfortunately he is no longer with us today; hearing that news back in my junior year of college crushed me. The impact he made on me is something I wish I could thank him for today. I ended up carrying the impact through an alias I made years ago.

  That alias is Full Metal Jackson, or as a lot of people have come to know the name as now, FMJ.

It was conceived in 2013 as an ode to him and combines two things he loved in the name - his favorite movie "Full Metal Jacket" and his Jackson guitar.

Since that year, I spent endless hours on learning music production and songwriting (alongside learning music theory and aural skills from college at the time) so I could take my best shot at writing music I liked and could then share. That early music would range from dubstep, electro house, progressive house, future house, tech house, tropical house, big room, future bass, jungle terror, drum & bass, trance, moombahton, and other various styles.

  While the skills for writing/producing music consistently built, the real challenge at the time was the matter of sharing it with others; even just a few people.

Of course I'm still gonna make music because I like it but I strive for something with music I share - if one person can get something positive out of what I wrote and shared, I'll be satisfied. If it took my old friend to just play guitar in an empty classroom to impact me that much, imagine what could happen if it was me playing the music for someone else.

But still, sharing music (or more specifically electronic dance music) in my small hometown of Neenah, WI... well, no one in that town was really into that kind of music (or at least who I knew and associated with at the time). Nothing wrong with that but I felt stuck from it. As 2016 hit, I stopped publicly sharing music for about 2 years because of this stuck feeling.

Around that same time though, a long period of self discovery began. Who was I and what did I want to do with my life? During it all, I met so many different people, travelled to different places (even out as far as Toronto, Canada), and found out there was more out there for me.

2018 comes and I got convinced to check out concerts that I didn't even know were happening in this state (thanks to my close friend Spookybro who I met when working at this e-commerce company selling toothbrushes in Neenah). I got to meet even MORE people but this time they had similar interests and love in the music I was so enveloped in for the longest time. Next thing you know, I start playing some small shows that summer and then shared music again publicly for the first time in years that September (the song was called "Number One", which I wrote for two good friends that got married that same month). More opportunities then came when I moved to Madison, such as playing opening slots for all kinds of international touring acts ranging from Downlink to Eptic to Tisoki (even got to perform with him for a B2B on stage); more music came from it that I still love today and I was able to share it with more people and see positive impacts made on some. There was even one song called "Snake Jazz" I released that (I felt) got a significant amount of attention in the underground scene; it even got support from names I've come to love like ATliens, Blanke, Eliminate, Crankdat, and more. Obviously it's not like I became some superstar making hundreds of thousands of dollars while being signed to some major label or agency from any of these opportunities and experiences, which that's not what I'm after, but it was still crazy when looking back on it.

That's where life led me with music.

Never thought that would happen.

Yes, there were tons of rough times, low points, and challenges during it all. Friends were lost. Relationships were put on the line. Periods of intense stress, anxiety, even depression set in.  It even came close to a point of ending my life from a struggle I faced I've shared about too often during that all, but it and nothing else ended up stopping me in the long run.

And from everything I've gained from that entire period, I wouldn't change it ever.

But during 2020, I came to a point where I asked myself an important question - is this what I want to do with music and my life in the long run?

...

So while the pandemic took the world by storm, an opportunity came for me to find out what I was meant to put out there.

And after writing music for over 11 years now...

I finally found my sound.

This opportunity let me take everything I have come to love throughout my life, such as different kinds of music (Porter Robinson/Virtual Self, Illenium, Seven Lions, RL Grime, Skeler, The Prodigy, The Crystal Method, Pendulum, Linkin Park, etc), to different kinds of shows/games/toys (Pokemon, Bionicle, Cowboy Bebop, Fullmetal Alchemist, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Death Note, Halo, Portal, etc), to nature/outdoor settings (sunsets, cityscapes, skyscrapers, etc), even to different colors (blue, orange, purple, pink), and combine concepts based on them all in various ways to make a sonic identity that is truly me. It may not be the most innovative identity at this point, but it is 100% me. Not to mention I'm always one to try different things and experiment, seeing if something new can come forth and grow exponentially from where this starts.

Which it all starts tomorrow, July 14th, 2021.

And while I'm beyond scared to reveal it all, I'm excited nonetheless.

Funnily enough, I originally planned on launching this project in September 2021 but an opportunity was given to me (thanks to my friend Synymata) pushing up the launch date; now from it though, the project's debut release will be on a well-known EDM record label I am happy to be a part of now. Guess it ironically ties into the name of the project a bit.

But knowing this is the point I'm at currently from looking back years ago is insane to me and I can't wait to see what could come from it.

As I said before, I'm not trying to be some superstar but I'm obviously gonna try and take it as far as I can. Even if there's days or even weeks where nothing productive comes from my sessions, I can't let it stop because I'll never know what could happen from it without trying. Maybe something unbelievably crazy will happen. Maybe it will take me to cities and countries I never imagined to see with my own eyes. Maybe it will connect with new people I end up calling life long friends. Maybe I'll meet the love of my life along it all.

  Or maybe none of this will happen.

I honestly don't know.

But I'm never gonna know unless I try.

That's the mentality that changed my life for the better within the past few years than if I didn't approach matters like that.

  And it has and/or could for those reading this too with that mentality depending on the situation.

Yes, mistakes were still made; lessons were learned. And they continue to be made and learned from. The same can apply to anyone reading this.

But it's all part of the journey.

It's not perfect.

It's inconsistent.

  It's not a smooth straight line - it's rough, jagged, and curves in many different directions.

It's broken.

But, for me at least, I wouldn't have it any other way. All the memories made; the realest and most genuine people I've come to call friends; the family I am fortunate to have; the lessons learned; the skills gained; the experiences; the happiness, sadness, anger, confusion, ALL the emotions and feelings that came from them. All of it was worth it.

Crazy how unexpected moments whether in high school or at some e-commerce job you're working at can change it all for the better in the long run; they basically shaped my story into something why better than I could’ve imagined.

So if you're reading this and feel your story isn't what you had in mind so far - your story isn't over til' you say it is. You'll never know what it could be unless to give something a shot. Getting that new job, going on that trip you've dreamed of, finally asking that crush out; you never know unless you give it a shot. Of course everyone's life is different and situations aren't all relatable, heck you may not take on the opportunity once it appears and that could be better for your story too!

Regardless, whenever an opportunity comes, you'll know what will be best to do.

In the end, the story will continue til' you say so. And I feel it is best to keep telling that story for as long as you truly can.

Hey, like I said, no story is perfect. Ever.

But the best stories aren't all "happily ever after fairytales".

The best I feel are the ones that you get something positive out of.

They TEACH you; INSPIRE you; make you FEEL; CHANGE you for the BETTER.

They give you this indescribable feeling that lingers over you that you can't seem to shake off at first and it may even feel scary at times but after it subsides, you know something good happened to you from it.

Those are the stories that define you.

And what more could you want than to share them alongside that indescribable feeling and so many other emotions with someone else in this life.

In this journey.

This saga.

That's what this new project is all about.

And you're all welcome to be a part of it.

This Broken Saga.

[lizwontcry]

Axl’s Birthday!

I have posted this before but whatever, I do what I want. 

Someone asked me a few years ago why I love Axl/what my Axl history is. So here it is, in honor of our lord and savior’s important 55th birthday.

It started in December of 1991. I was 12 years old. I don’t know the exact moment or the reason why it happened, but I found myself drawn to Axl’s awesome voice and amazing hotness. I think it might have been the video for Don’t Cry? But I don’t remember. It was a long time ago. But something about the lyrics and Axl’s voice and the way he existed as a human and carried himself and had so much fucking passion for everything, that inspired me. It made me who I am as a person today. Without the lyrics and the voice and the way I can count on him every single time I need him, I would be a completely different person. Who knows if that’s a good thing or not, it just…is.

I’m also very proud and excited about his last year. He finally let the reunion happen, and it’s been a huge success. I don’t think he and Slash are braiding each other’s hair and sharing hotel rooms or anything, but at least they get along well enough to put their differences behind them and rock out onstage. Not to mention Axl taking over as singer for AC/DC and what a badass he was during those tours. 

So as for my history with GNR? It goes way back and gets complicated. Here’s a list for your enjoyment.

I’ve seen them live seven times, once in 2001 in Vegas, three times in 2011 in Houston, Dallas, Vegas, 2013 at the House of Blues in Dallas, once in Houston and once in Dallas in 2016. My Vegas concerts were exactly ten years apart, in the same place at the same time.

I won tickets on the radio to the GNR/Metallica/Faith No More show in 1992, but my parents said I was too young to go and I had to sell my tickets to my neighbor. They consoled me by saying GNR would be back soon. If you count 19 years as “soon”, then I guess they were right.

I also had tickets to the show in 2002. It was my graduation present. And of course the tour was canceled and everything sucks.

In 2000, Axl finally broke his 6 year silence and played a show in Vegas. I was IN Vegas and I didn’t know this happened until a few days later. This broke my heart and it took me a year to recover.

I’ve stood in the front row of a Velvet Revolver concert and was sweat on by Slash, Duff and Scott Weiland. I also saw Slash with Ozzy in 2011.

My dad played Blackjack for hours with Axl in Vegas in 2006. He didn’t know who he was at first but then someone told him. He still did nothing. No autograph. Not even an acknowledgement that I existed. It’s been more than a decade and he still has not been forgiven.

GNR and Axl both got themselves a twitter in December of 2009. For most of 2010 and part of 2011, they replied to me and retweeted me all the time. Tommy Stinson and I basically had a twitter relationship. I did this to get their attention and be acknowledged as a fan but I also did it to get some kind of advantage when they would eventually tour the US. To that effect, I asked them basically every single day to come to Texas.

And it worked, because they came to Texas, and I was acknowledged. They gave me after party passes and I met Fernando, Beta, Del James, DJ, Bumblefoot, Tommy, Frank, Chris…basically everyone but Axl. It was really top five best nights of my life and I am so grateful that they gave me the opportunity to experience it.

In 2010, Slash had this DM relationship with people on twitter. I would have many interesting conversations with him about Axl and about his life and my life in general. It was fun.

In 2011 I got a tattoo on my ankle that says “Baby, maybe, someday” from Don’t Cry. The song is beyond important to me. It is everything. It defines me as a human being.

On that note, in Houston, the show where I met everyone, Axl  came out to sing Don’t Cry and then told the story of what the song was about, how he and Izzy knew this girl who broke their hearts, etc. etc. I am 93% sure he told that story because he knew I was in the audience and I have many reasons why I believe such things.

In my opinion, Axl’s voice was better than I’ve ever personally heard in Houston of last year. It was a pretty bad ass show.

That’s it, really. I just love this band. I think Axl has reasons for all the crazy shit he does. I think his passion for the goal he set out to reach in 1985 with this band is so admirable. He persists even though the media and critics and even his own fans give him so much disrespect. His voice and his band give people spiritual concert experiences even after all these years. He puts his heart and soul into every performance, even though he must hate singing WTTJ for the 8,991st time in his life. I think he has problems and he’s misunderstood and is prone to temper tantrums, but overall, I admire everything he has done for me, and for music in general. I also feel that Chinese Democracy is an amazing album, my favorite of all time in fact, and is a misunderstood masterpiece. I loved the CD-era line-up and thought they did their best to represent what Axl had envisioned for the band, but I also realize that the band is at its peak with Duff and Slash back in it. Axl and Slash have magical chemistry, I truly believe that now.

Also, Axl’s really hot and ever since I’ve started this thing with him, I’ve had a thing for redheads with blue/green eyes. My boyfriend even matches this description. Late 80s, early 90s Axl is still the hottest man to ever exist in the whole spectrum of human beings to me. And while he’s older and his neck is weird, there ain’t nothing wrong with current Axl, either. So happy birthday to him and his hotness, and thank you for asking me this important question.