#and ppl who feel they cant trust u wont turn to u and they might get worse | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

frywen-babbles · 5 years

Text

Sounds of Silence pt4

A/N: TW: Mentions of abuse

“But why do I have to…” Mitsuhide tried to protest when he was pushed out of the car.

“We need a distraction. Unlike Hanbei, I trust you can do something if he gets aggressive.”

“I knew I had a reason why I hate you…” Hanbei mumbled from the driver’s seat, unable to see the glare Mitsunari shot him.

They had waited for hours for her or her boyfriend to leave the house, but neither of them did. The day was already starting to turn to evening and all of their patience was running thin.

Mitsunari watched as Mitsuhide and Hideyoshi walked to the front door of the house and rang the doorbell. He and Inuchiyo sneaked to the back, peeking through the windows to see if they could find her.

She was sitting in the kitchen, flipping through a magazine, her eyes flickering every now and then towards the door. She was wearing leggings and a hoodie and she had a scarf around her neck, so Mitsunari couldn’t see if she was injured. But at least there wasn’t any bruises on her face. Mitsunari waved to get her attention, but she didn’t notice him.

“We could knock on the window?” Inuchiyo suggested.

“I’m not even going to tell you how utterly idiotic that plan is,” Mitsunari replied, pulling out his phone.

[19:03:20] << ManjuDreamer >> Look out of the window.

She immediately glanced at her phone and her eyes shot to the window.

[19:03:19:03:39] << ManjuDreamer >> If you want to leave come to the backdoor asap.

[19:03:52] << ManjuDreamer >> Hideyoshi is distracting your boyfriend with a friend.

She nodded once and sneaked out of the kitchen. Mitsunari walked to the backdoor and to his surprise she was already there, only slippers in her feet, a small backbag in her hands.

[19:04:40] << bookshy >> hurry

He nodded to her and grasped her hand. They ran to the corner of the house, where they could see Mitsuhide and Hideyoshi at the door.

“Yeah, I think that’s all the info we need for now! Thank you for your time!” Hideyoshi said cheerfully and they heard the door slam shut. Mitsunari tightened his grasp on her hand and took off running towards the car. He opened the door and pushed her inside, climbing in after her. He pulled her down to lie on the seat, her head landing on his lap.

“Drive!” Mitsunari snapped to Hanbei, who immediately took off.

“H-hey!” Inuchiyo barely managed to sit down in the front seat, his door still open. He reached to slam the door shut. “You could have waited for me to sit down…”

“You’ll live,” Hanbei shot back, taking a sharp turn which nearly sent Inuchiyo off of his seat. “Fasten your seatbelt, I’m not paying your fine if we get pulled over.”

Mitsunari put his hand down and suddenly realised where her head was. He momentarily caught Hanbei’s eyes, which made him painfully aware of her proximity, of her hair against his palm, of the heat of her skin against his thigh. He turned his head aside, a blush burning hot on his face.

[19:16:32] << bookshy >> whr r we going [19:16:36] << ManjuDreamer >> A friend’s house. [19:16:53] <<ManjuDreamer >> He promised you can stay in one of their guest rooms for a while. [19:16:59] << bookshy >> u sure hes ok w/ that [19:17:08] << ManjuDreamer >> He suggested it himself. [19:17:36] << ManjuDreamer >> We need to lose your phone. [19:17:36] << bookshy >> NO! [19:17:37] << bookshy >> how am i sppsd to talk to ppl thn? [19:17:38] << bookshy >> i wont let u [19:17:46] << ManjuDreamer >> He tracks your phone, doesn’t he? [19:17:58] << ManjuDreamer >> That’s how he found you last time. [19:18:00] << bookshy >> i still need my phone [19:18:02] << bookshy >> i cant just toss it [19:18:08] << ManjuDreamer >> I’ll get you a new one [19:18:10] << bookshy >> u cant do that!

Mitsunari glanced up from his phone to the road ahead, before he dug through his bag for some pen and paper.

“Hanbei, pull over somewhere. We need to get rid of her phone.”

[19:18:27] << ManjuDreamer >> Write down all the important numbers you need. [19:18:40] << bookshy >> i need my phone

Despite her complaints, she took the offered stationery and scribbled down some numbers before she looked at him, holding tight on her phone.

“You sign, right?” Mitsunari asked, each sign slow and deliberate. She just stared at him, not replying. Her jaw tightened for a moment before her expression turned blank, her eyes searching his face. Finally, she nodded.

[19:22:04] << bookshy >> i can read lips but i dont alws get evrthng right [19:22:10] << bookshy >> i dont want to rely on it [19:22:12] << bookshy >> txtng is better [19:23:06] << bookshy >> i need my phone [19:23:22] << bookshy >> plz [19:23:31] << bookshy >> please

Her cool mask broke, anguish leaking into her features. Her brows furrowed and her jaw tensed and Mitsunari had no idea why she kept staring at him. Her stare made him feel self-conscious and he could feel his face starting to burn up again. He ripped his eyes from hers, opting to stare at his phone screen instead, a small frown between his brows he desperately tried to keep away.

[19:24:46] << ManjuDreamer >> We’ll get you a new phone ASAP [19:25:07] << ManjuDreamer >> I can’t let him find you. [19:25:29] << bookshy >> why r u doing this

Mitsunari took a deep breath, his fingers ghosting over the phone screen trying to come up with something. Why didn’t she understand what he was trying to do? She had accepted his help this far, why wouldn’t she do this? He could help her but she was being so stubborn for no reason at all!

“Mitsunari.” Hanbei’s voice startled him awake from his thoughts and he saw they had stopped at a gas station.

[19:27:45] << ManjuDreamer >> I want you to be safe.

She looked at her phone. Slowly, she removed the cover of her phone, several large bills dropping on her lap and finally, reluctantly handed the phone to him. Mitsunari stepped out of the car and unceremoniously dropped her phone on the ground, driving his heel several times through the screen until it was shattered and the phone bent beyond repair. He then tossed it in the nearby trash bin and sat back in the car.

Her head fell back into his lap, but this time she wasn’t looking up at him. Instead, she was staring ahead, but Mitsunari wasn’t sure if she was staring out of the car or into nothingness.

***

Mitsunari felt bad leaving her. He was sure Oichi would take good care of her, but she had looked so bewildered by her surroundings and the kindness that was shown to her, he felt absolutely horrible. She had held onto the back of his hoodie so tight he nearly had to pry her fingers open so he could leave.

Why did he feel such guilt? She was safe now, he shouldn’t feel guilty, right? Oichi was with her, she shouldn’t feel lonely. Didn’t girls want to talk to other girls about their problems?

He stepped into his apartment and closed the door with a heavy sigh, pressing his forehead against it. He should… he needed to study… But the image of her kept popping on his mind every time he tried to think anything else. He turned around and leant against the door, kicking his shoes into the corner.

“Mitsunari? You’re back already?” Hideyoshi’s voice startled him, but a frown quickly replaced his surprise.

“Yeah. I have to study for tomorrow…”

“Oh… just… go to see her as soon as you can, okay?”

“Um, yeah…” Mitsunari slinked to his room, shutting the door firmly behind him.

What was he doing? Every time he tried to concentrate all he could think about was how she had made sure no-one else saw and signed ‘don’t leave’. He was so going to fail the test tomorrow… and it would affect the final grade too…

***

He had been so distracted the whole day even that bake-crazy dullard with questionable taste in books AND men had asked him what was wrong. He stared at the door of the Oda residence debating if he should knock now or wait until he had cleared out his head when the security guard let him out of his misery and opened the door for him.

It couldn’t be helped then… He made his way to the wing where he knew her room was but stopped right outside. Was he supposed to knock? Wait until she came out? But what if she wanted to just stay in her room? Just open the door and wish she wasn’t naked just then? Oh gods, did he just imagine her naked?

“Mitsunari?” He heard Oichi’s voice behind him. He felt his face flush with embarrassment. He turned around, annoyed at being found out standing in the middle of the hallway like an idiot in the middle of the most embarrassing train of thought.

“What?”

“Aren’t you cheerful today, grumpy face. My friend wanted to know if you’re okay when I told her you’re supposed to come here,” Oichi said, lifting an eyebrow.

“Nosy dullards like her should stay out other’s business.”

“Uh huh.” Oichi dismissed his snark before she turned serious. “She was crying last night. I thought I’d go talk to her, but I didn’t know if she’d appreciate me going into her room. I left some chocolate for her in the kitchen.” She held a small break and smiled. “I have a gift for her I think she might appreciate. Come find me when you feel like it!”

And with that, she was gone. Mitsunari still felt awkward but knocked on her door anyway before stepping inside. She was inside, watching television, but her eyes flickered immediately to him. Momentarily, she looked surprised. But then she jumped up and ran to him, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug.

Mitsunari had no idea what to do. Was he supposed to hug her back? Or just stand there being hugged or… He felt his face burning embarrassingly hot. His first thought was to push her away, but he knew he shouldn’t do that though. So, he opted to pat her back awkwardly until she let go and took a step back.

“Manju-boy, you came…” she said with slow deliberate signs, a faint smile on her lips.

“Yes… Wait, why am I manju-boy?”

“I can call you a fox too, you're sly enough to be one.” She poked her tongue out a smile on her face. “No, wait, I have even better one!” She practically gleamed with delight, bouncing on her heels, “You can be frowny face! I like that!”

“I am not frowning!”

“You so are!” She laughed. Mitsunari was mesmerized. Her laugh was so pure, so full of joy he couldn’t do anything but smile with her. Suddenly she smacked her hand over her mouth, her smile dying from her lips, her expression turning guarded. “Sorry.”

“Why do you apologise?”

“You heard my laugh. It’s ugly.” Everything in her posture seemed to shrink back, to apologise.

Her voice had been so full of unguarded joy, how could anyone call it ugly? He had no idea what he was supposed to say, how was he supposed to react. Hideyoshi was so much better at stuff like this. But he wasn’t here now and Mitsunari couldn’t ask him for advice. She turned away from him, her shoulders slouched, but he quickly reached to touch her shoulder.

“I liked it.”

I like you, his brain screamed at him. Screamed so hard he felt his face flush again. Great, like this wasn’t mortifying enough, now his face had to keep betraying his emotions. He wanted to hide, but hiding behind his hands was probably even more embarrassing than the blush on his cheeks.

“You don’t have to lie. It’s okay.”

I’m not lying, he wanted to shout. He wanted to shake her and make her listen to reason. But that wouldn’t probably be helpful in the slightest.

“Uh…” he said aloud, but continued to sign, “O-i-chi said she has something for you.” Didn’t gifts cheer girls up? Fuck, how could he be so bad at this…

"I couldn't possibly accept anything more from her! She's already letting me stay here!" She looked distressed even at the idea.

"...She said something about cho-co-la-te too..." he tried. It was a slow effort, the sign for chocolate escaping his mind completely.

"Chocolate?" she asked with the proper sign surprised before a smile lit her face again. "I'd kill for some chocolate right now!" She almost stepped towards the door, but stopped again and turned towards him, her expression serious. "Manju-boy, is this... was this the right thing to do? What if you get into trouble? What if your friends get into trouble?"

"Wait! Why would we get into trouble? You are free to go where you like, don't you?"

"But..." She started to protest, but Mitsunari waved her quiet.

"I want you to be safe. You called me to get help. Did you not?" She nodded as a response but didn't say anything. "I chose to help. So did Hi-de-yo-shi and the others. You can stay here until you find a place to stay."

"...What about work? I need to work tomorrow..."

"We call and tell you are sick."

"No!" She shook her head firmly, "I need the money! I can't afford to stay away! I need to get a new phone and money for a deposit for a new place and money for the rent and food and clothes!"

"I'll loan you the money!"

"Don't be stupid! I know you study on a scholarship! I've seen you tutor kids at the library so you can get your bills paid! This-" She waved around the large guest room they were in, "is not how neither of us lives! Will ever live! You can't afford to lend me anything!" Her hands were flying so fast from one sign to another it was hard for him to follow what she was saying but the angry frown in her face didn't leave much to interpret on her opinion of his suggestion.

A part of him wanted to beg, to grovel in front of her just to let him help. But a bigger, more prideful part of him just let out an angry huff. "Why are you so stubborn?"

"Why am I-?! You're the stubborn one!"

"Fine!" Mitsunari turned around and stalked out of the room. He heard her follow him but he didn't turn to look until they reached the kitchen.

His irritation vanished as soon as it had appeared when he felt her grasp the back of his shirt. He glanced at her when she offered a stiff bow at Oichi, who was looking at them with an amused smile.

"I just happened to switch phones a while back and I don't need this anymore. I thought you might want to have it." Oichi spoke slowly and pushed the shiny scratchless phone on the table towards her. She reached for the phone at first but pulled her hand back, glancing uncertainly at him. He nodded and she took the phone in her hands. It took only a moment for her eyes to widen, and she tried to shove the phone back to Oichi, shaking her head.

"No, it's yours now." Oichi lift her hand in denial and shook her head. "Oh! We need to get you a phone plan. And some other stuff too, you didn't bring much, did you." Oichi stood up and turned her back at them. She, however, pulled his sleeve, a panicked look on her face.

"Tell her I just need somewhere to do laundry!"

"Oichi, wait, she said she just needs to do some laundry." Mitsunari tried to interrupt Oichi, but she just laughed.

"Nonsense! It'll be fun, come on!"

Before they knew what hit them, Oichi had dragged both of them out shopping, a few grim looking bodyguards trailing behind them. One phone operator shop and some cosmetics shopping later they were in a clothing store where one glance at the price tags told Mitsunari he would have to get a way (way) better paying job if he ever wanted to shop there.

@masamunesmistress @you-mass-effect-my-dragon-age @dreamfar628 (nooo tumblr won’t let me tag you ;A; @han-pan

#slbp #slbp fanfic #ishida mitsunari #oda oichi #voltage fanfic #frywen writes #sounds of silence fic

42 notes · View notes

ragnvdnir · 2 years

Note

Hello i realized i havent dropped by these past few days 💀 i'll go reply to your ask game first (i realized i havent replied to your previous messages too 😰)

you 🤝 me caring about the meaning of the flowers more (but ngl i would be choosy in the appearance of it too 😭)

humble and shy ein 🧐 we want to see that💪 i might mistake you for another person if i were to witness that tbh 😭 therapist and mom friend ein 😳

me too i am so interested in psychology but then why everything involves math 😔💔 im literally guessing the answers in my math test dont do this to me 💔💔💔

Ein with dimples 😳 idk but that's cute 💪 (ok dw about not having to say smth about phys appearance i have a friend who i did this ask game with and they answered thighs for this xD while i just filled in the last spot with my other moles in other parts of my body 💀 if that's counted lmao) Loving the failure hime cut yass 😍😍😍

Baker ein 😳😳😳 maam lets go kitchen date now even tho i have no idea how to turn the stove on for my life— diluc move away im taking your spot setting things aside you literally just gave me an idea about painting dates with them. Just imagine Diluc trying his very best to draw but he's not really... Creative xD

Ok this is no offense but your comment abt me is so funny like 😭😭😭 why is it so awkward 🤨🤔 is this u 🤨 yeah this is u 😍 no cuz i can visualize you frozen on the spot like a tsundere spitting these words out it's like i forced you to say them 😭🤣 im glad it made u feel nice tho <33 cuz man throwing up is so concerning it aint a daily thing to happen 😟😰

Shoujo girls 💀 be that "villainess" and girlboss instead of being the lame ass main character who turns out to be the actual antagonist which caused me to have trust issues with angel looking bitches tbh 😭 i'm with u in this money loving personality 💗💗💗 we just happen to be luxurious and it's not our fault <3

the fact that you rlly want puppies gives so much wanting to adopt thoma vibes 💪 you can do it 💪💪💪

ALSO I DONT MIND LONG ANSWERS look at me doing asks that are so dam long but i still push it 😍😍😍 i also enjoy your enjoys so why not

— 🍰.

you dont have to reply to everything😭😭 its fine👹👹

nah bc i would care abt the appearance of the flower too😭😭

ofc i am humble and shy duh 🙄🙄 why do u sound offending🤬🤬⁉️i have to step up since i am the oldest in us😔😔 a single mom and a therapist 😔💔

ikr😭😭 why does it have those evil numbers and symbols 😭😭 i decided that ill take psychology bc i want to avoid those numbers but they wont just leave me alone😢😢 im really bad at math💔💔 i feel like im offended when ppl say math is easier than english like🤨🤨 you really gonna chose those wicked numbers over words?? not me though, i prefer english😩😩

idk but im starting to dislike my dimples bc they dont look good when i smile??😭😭 naurr bc even though i cant cut my hair for the hime cut, after a few days im starting loving it 🤨🤨⁉️⁉️

why did u think i can cook and bake😢😢 for the safety of everyone do not let me handle the kitchen, i am warning you😔😔 there was one time i was planning to cook fried rice so i open the stove, placed the pan and put the oil. so u have to wait for the oil to start working (?) right?? but i was impatient. what i did was i set the fire in the highest for the oil to work faster. i left the kitchen to grab my phone. but since i was bitch, the moment i held my phone, i forgot the pan, everything. so i continued using my phone but then minutes later, i smell something burning and my mom went out of her room to check what was that. she went to the kitchen and we saw the pan burning😭😭 like the fire was on its highest and it reached the oil inside the pan so the fire was really high😭😭 im just glad that the fire didn't reach the bulb on the ceiling or else😩😩 when my mom turned off the stove she faced me and was angry, she was scolding me but like she has the rights since i almost set our house on fire😭😭 then after she scolded me, she left and i didn't cook fried rice bc i was scared😗😗 i think she almost disowned me that day😔😔 but i understand 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️

damn why dont u believe me😭😭 am i that unbelievable 😔😔💔💔 maybe i was forced🤨🤨 who knows 🧐🧐 ikr😩😩 i hate the taste of throwing up🤧🤧 till this day i still remember what it taste like bc throwing up really traumatized me🤧🤧

nah bc why does those shoujo girls pull these fine men😭😭 and im like, suree??? please i dont plan to be those angel looking girls😭😭 bc i dont look like an angel, im more like a demon babes😭😭 maybe ill be just the iconic best friend or side character who pulls the finest man??😍😍 money would solve almost all of my problems tbh🙄⁉️

i am inlove with puppies 🤧🤧 i just really want to have one again but like mom wont allow since she had enough when my childhood dog died who i had since since i was maybe 3-4 years old😩😩 ive been with that dog for more than ten years so yeah😢😢 mom doesn't want to have a dog maybe bc she's scared that the dog will die soon👹👹 she got traumatized with my dog please 😭🙏

one of the reasons why i love thoma sm is bc he is close with pets which is a very very green flag to me. and he even knits them clothes?? thoma be real challenge go!🤧🤧

#—letters 💌#talks with: 🍰 anon

0 notes

thelifetimechannel · 6 years

Text

ROSE: And it's been hanging over our heads the whole time. JAKE: Hold on a tick! JAKE: I may be a newcomer to all this cosmic mythology but i recall being informed that skaia was one of the good guys. ROSE: Informed by who? JAKE: Well... by our sprites and some of the carvings in the ruins and things like that. HALSPRITE: Everyone knows we game guides are completely trustworthy. DIRK: Wait, are you working for an even bigger bad? HALSPRITE: No. But there are certain things I can't say, or have to be party to. HALSPRITE: We've been over this, remember? HALSPRITE: My ectoplasm is still sore from your Emperor Palpatine tantrum. KANAYA: Skaia Controls The Narrative We Are Privy To KANAYA: Especially For Prospit Heroes Who Gain Glimpses In The Clouds During The Eclipse KANAYA: I Thought Those Images Were Random KANAYA: But JADE: but its pretty suspicious that it kept so much of the bad stuff from me! JADE: i might not have been so eager to play otherwise JADE: even if its not like we ever had a choice :/ JADE: and the other calliope said she had a hand in choosing those images soooo DAVE: i thought skaia "sees and knows" and couldnt do jack shit DAVE: howd we get from there to here JADE: we didnt know until today that skaia had a "cherub behind the curtain" :o CALLIOPE: after her speech i'm not sUre whether skaia reflects her will entirely or is only inspired by it. CALLIOPE: bUt it is not a neUtral actor. CALLIOPE: and she admitted to having a hand in the rUles of the game that broUght Us here. ROSE: Feferi mentioned the gods might have had something to do with it as well. ROSE: Aradia, do you know anything about that? ARADIA: i suspected something like it ARADIA: it made sense, considering derse dreamers role as emissaries to the noble circle and each incipispheres presence nestled within the furthest ring ARADIA: how they struck that deal or what it involved i dont know though DIRK: The point is, this game didn't come out of nowhere. DIRK: Someone had to make it. KANAYA: So To Clarify KANAYA: If The Other Cherub Is Skaia You Wish To Depose Her KANAYA: But If She Is The Consciousness Guiding Skaia You Would Replace Her Instead CALLIOPE: hold on. CALLIOPE: i don't trUst myself with that kind of responsibility. JANE: I'm not sure anyone should be! JAKE: Yes its like galadriel getting the ring! JOHN: if you don't make yourself the person in charge, but skaia has like... what did you call it? JOHN: a consciousness? JOHN: could you give it a conscience? KARKAT: HOLD UP. KARKAT: I KNOW ROSE ALREADY CAME TO ME PEDDLING THIS LATEST HERESY BUT I THINK IT OUGHT TO AT LEAST COME TO A VOTE. KARKAT: THIS COULD HAVE SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES, AND THE DOOR IS RIGHT THERE. KARKAT: IF ANYONE DOESN'T WANT TO RISK THEIR LIVES FOR THIS, SPEAK NOW. JANE: Could we get a description of what this plan actually /is/? ROSE: We'll need to work the details out. KARKAT: SHE WANTS TO MEDDLE WITH THE GENESIS FROG'S DNA. KARKAT: LIKE THAT WENT SO WELL LAST TIME. DAVE: the tadpoles already flown the coop on that one DAVE: unless you want to send john all the way back to our breeding session JOHN: oh come on, i can't be the solution to EVERYONE'S problems. ROSE: I wasn't going to suggest that. ROSE: Once we have a better grasp of what we want to change, we have someone with an even better skillset for reshaping reality to our liking. CALLIOPE: my other self got Us into this mess. CALLIOPE: i don't know how exactly bUt it's only fitting i get Us oUt of it. ROXY: soooo ROXY: we need 2 come up w/ a world we like ARADIA: without breaking too much ARADIA: this system works for what its designed to do ARADIA: you cant abolish it entirely without some kind of replacement SOLLUX: she's saying maybe d0n't torch the place with0ut at least reading the manual. ROXY: so we gotta reverse engineer it ROXY: sounds like a plan 2 me JAKE: I could take another look at those carvings... JANE: /clears throat/ JANE: I think Karkat is right, we should have a show of hands. JANE: Everyone in favor of pursuing this? ROXY: this game sux ass ROXY: if i can stop more doomed ppl gettin axed just bc they were in the wrong place then im gonna do it ROXY: count me in DAVE: wait i thought english was the guy behind most of our doomed timelines DAVE: with his alpha timeline forcing everyone to make one set of decisions DAVE: didnt we beat him and get rid of that JAKE: I think its fair to say calliope did! CALLIOPE: ^U^ ARADIA: its true that his influence generated far more fruitless offshots than would exist otherwise ARADIA: and constricted our paths to prioritize a single narrative ARADIA: but timeline dooming is always a mechanism available to players ARADIA: and the game sets up certain loops on its own ROSE: Lord English isn't the one who sent meteors to destroy our planet. JOHN: no he isn't. JOHN: and that's not fair, that is not what any of us signed up for. JOHN: i've been rewriting rules all day, and this sounds like a great one to get rid of. JOHN: i'll help you guys out. DAVE: well then DAVE: might as well go two for two TEREZI: SK414S T4ST3S 4R3 DR4CON14N 3V3N FOR M3 TEREZI: WH4T K1ND OF JUST1C3 SO W4NTONLY T4RG3TS 1NNOC3NTS TEREZI: 1 WOULDNT M1ND T4K1NG 1T DOWN 4 P3G JADE: i dont know how long ill have my first guardian powers back, but im willing to use them JADE: no one should be treated like pawns no matter what your justification is ROSE: My anti-authoritarian streak is already common knowledge. ROSE: I guess they were right warning you away from dreamers from the wrong side of the tracks. ROSE: Derse is a hotbed for radicalism. DIRK: It must run in the family. DIRK: Why do away with a good tradition? HALSPRITE: There's no way I'd turn down an opportunity to fuck with a fundamental component of the universe. KANAYA: Creation Is Under My Jurisdiction KANAYA: But Creation Pursued At Any Cost Can Be Just As Destructive As Intentional Violence KANAYA: Maybe I Can Put My Inclinations To Pacify Dangerous Forces To Good Use JAKE: Im through with being shoved around! JAKE: If this will help some other people out there in the multiverse who might get saddled with all this games expectations then i think its our duty to try. JANE: What kind of Empress would I be if I didn't try to secure the best possible future for whoever comes after us? JANE: Besides, I've sat back in the face of tyranny long enough. NANNASPRITE: I have too. DAVESPRITE: my programming wont allow me to participate in this DAVESPRITE: nah im just fucking with you lets kill the suffering orb ARADIA: ive spent a long time doing things because they had to be done ARADIA: to fulfill some time loop or the will of the game ARADIA: it would be nice to make a momentous decision on my own for once CALLIOPE: my other self said i woUld never be a proper mUse, bUt i take issUe with her methods. CALLIOPE: i think it's proper to set them right. SOLLUX: i feel like i'm c0ming into this discussi0n missing a lot of c0ntext but if it means we'll get a move 0n, sure. SOLLUX: sgrub 0r skaia or whatever cosmic f0rce we're ganging up on can suck my bulge. TEREZI: COM3 ON K4RK4T YOU KNOW YOU W4NT TO KARKAT: I GUESS MY REVOLUTIONARY ANCESTOR WOULD BE ASHAMED OF ME OTHERWISE. KARKAT: EVEN IF HE WAS KIND OF A JACKASS. KARKAT: AND THIS GAME HAS BEEN PRETTY TERRIBLE. KARKAT: LET'S JUST TRY NOT TO GET ANYONE KILLED THIS TIME. KARKAT: OK, WE'VE ALL GOT OUR HANDS UP NOW. KARKAT: THIS STIRRING SHOW OF CAMARADERIE WILL MOVE THE HEAVENS. KARKAT: "LOOK, THEY HAVE THEIR HANDS RAISED! WE WERE WRONG. GIVE THEM WHATEVER THEY ASK FOR, AND PASS ME THE TISSUES." KARKAT: GOOD JOB TEAM. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY WITH YOURSELVES.

====>

#tlc upd8 #tlc a7

3 notes · View notes

taekookismylifeline · 6 years

Text

(yoonseok) - trust my heart when it beats for you

ao3: (x)

Summary: Jung Hoseok has had an awkward Thing for Min Yoongi for four years of his school life. He is certain that the only thing that gets in the way of them and everlasting love is the fact that Min Yoongi doesn’t know he exists, but that all changes due to one drunken text message: a pick-up line. Ready to flee to another country under a false identity in mortification, he finds himself ruining their blossoming friendship and confessing when Yoongi asks why Hoseok had tried to flirt with him. However, things take a turn after his confession when Yoongi starts to (awkwardly) flirt back.

Pairings: Yoonseok, Taekook and Namjin

Chapters: (1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6), (7), (8), (9), (10), (11), (12), (13), (14), (15), (16), (17), (18), (19), (20), (21), (22), (23), (24), (25), (26)

Chapter Twenty-Seven - what does it mean when i think of you and my heart is revived?

Jung Hoseok: yoongs

Min Yoongi: hey :)

Jung Hoseok: wow! An emoji! Jung Hoseok: i just wanted 2 say thanks 4 today Jung Hoseok: it was amazing Jung Hoseok: you were amazing

Min Yoongi: so were you Min Yoongi: there’s no need to thank me Min Yoongi: Am I not allowed to show my happiness? :(

Jung Hoseok: NO Jung Hoseok: I MEAN YES Jung Hoseok: yoongs ive been meaning to ask u something

Min Yoongi: yes? Min Yoongi: You can ask me anything

Jung Hoseok: when i called u baby Jung Hoseok: did u mind it? Jung Hoseok: i only realised I said it after everything Jung Hoseok: its only cuz we talked about kinks and u said it was weird Jung Hoseok: so im really sorry if i made u uncomfortable Jung Hoseok: i wont do it again Jung Hoseok: im sorry

Min Yoongi: Oh Min Yoongi: I didn’t think too much into it, I thought it was just a pet name Min Yoongi: I assume you mean the daddy kink Min Yoongi: So I guess you do have a daddy kink then?

Jung Hoseok: NO Jung Hoseok: well Jung Hoseok: idk Jung Hoseok: i just like being on top?? Jung Hoseok: i like it when you're submissive i guess

Min Yoongi: right Min Yoongi: Let’s talk through this, okay?

Jung Hoseok: if ure okay with it

Min Yoongi: it’s fine Min Yoongi: what do you mean you ‘don’t know’?

Jung Hoseok: idk

Min Yoongi: Very helpful

Jung Hoseok: AHHHH im sorry!!! Jung Hoseok: i just mean that i get why ppl think its weird Jung Hoseok: cuz of the whole ‘dad/dy’ thing Jung Hoseok: IM NOT INTO INCEST

Min Yoongi: Seok, I know that you don’t want to fuck your dad Min Yoongi: I know what the daddy kink is to an extent Min Yoongi: It’s not that weird to me, so don’t be embarrassed

Jung Hoseok: AAAAAA that made ME LAUGH BUT IT SHOULDNT HAVE!!!!!!! Jung Hoseok: thanks Yoongs :)

Min Yoongi: it’s fine, Seok Min Yoongi: tell me why you think you might have a daddy kink

Jung Hoseok: ok, ok, this is probs gonna be rambley so sorry Jung Hoseok: so

Jung Hoseok: I like being in control, like i like being assertive and knowing how to make someone feel good Jung Hoseok: i like watching someone feel good, i want to see how they react to what i do to them Jung Hoseok: i like giving pleasure and knowing how to do so Jung Hoseok: i like someone who gives into what i want and lets themselves feel good by my hand (or tongue or whatever) but also isn’t totally submissive Jung Hoseok: ive never really thought about kinks before but ??? idk being with u is making me think about sexy stuff and then idk Jung Hoseok: I think about u calling me daddy when i do stuff with u Jung Hoseok: i want to take care of u, to make u feel so good, to make u moan, to make u think of no one but me on top of you Jung Hoseok: it turns me on Jung Hoseok: you turn me on Jung Hoseok: sorry Jung Hoseok: this took a turn, sorry

Min Yoongi: no Min Yoongi: it’s fine Min Yoongi: I never knew you felt like that Min Yoongi: You probably have a daddy kink, Seok Min Yoongi: Or you’re just an assertive top, I guess Min Yoongi: I don’t really know that much about it

Jung Hoseok: oh Jung Hoseok: I might maybe do Jung Hoseok: yoongs Jung Hoseok: if i do, is this a problem? Jung Hoseok: obviously I won’t bring this onto you Jung Hoseok: i don’t want u to be uncomfortable Jung Hoseok: i’ll control myself Jung Hoseok: are you okay?

Min Yoongi: Seok

Jung Hoseok: yes??

Min Yoongi: today Min Yoongi: when you called me ‘baby’ Min Yoongi: I liked it

Jung Hoseok: kfge Jung Hoseok: iowohh Jung Hoseok: sirry Jung Hoseok: u think u liked it?

Min Yoongi: it’s okay Min Yoongi: I know I did Min Yoongi: I liked you being on top, you knew exactly where to touch and what to do Min Yoongi: I liked it when you looked at me, made me watch what you were doing Min Yoongi: I liked it when you called me baby

Jung Hoseok: oh Jung Hoseok: wow

Min Yoongi: yeah

Jung Hoseok: so Jung Hoseok: do you Jung Hoseok: maybe Jung Hoseok: have a daddy kink?

Min Yoongi: I don’t know Min Yoongi: I’ve never thought about it Min Yoongi: I don’t know if I have any kinks Min Yoongi: you’re the first person I’ve ever been with so I don’t know Min Yoongi: I just like it when you’re in control

Jung Hoseok: oh

Min Yoongi: Seok Min Yoongi: this doesn’t change anything, you know that, right? Min Yoongi: You can call me ‘baby’, I don’t mind

Jung Hoseok: thanks, yoongs Jung Hoseok: i don’t want to gross you out

Min Yoongi: you could never

Jung Hoseok: even though i swallowed????

Min Yoongi: wow Min Yoongi: yes, even though you swallowed Min Yoongi: Seok

Jung Hoseok: :) Jung Hoseok: yes yoongs??

Min Yoongi: when can you next come over?

Jung Hoseok: umm I think not next week but the week after? Jung Hoseok: why? Wanna go on our first date???

Min Yoongi: Oh, okay, cool Min Yoongi: I hadn’t even thought of that Min Yoongi: Yes, I’d like that Min Yoongi: very much

Jung Hoseok: yessssss!!!!!! Ill start planning it!!!

Min Yoongi: Thank you, Seok, I can’t wait

Jung Hoseok: no problem!!! :) Jung Hoseok: wdym u hadn’t thought of it? :( Jung Hoseok: why did u ask when i was free??

Min Yoongi: oh Min Yoongi: I want you Min Yoongi: when you described what you wanted to do to me and what you liked Min Yoongi: I got turned on Min Yoongi: I want you to touch me again Min Yoongi: but I can wait Min Yoongi: I’ll do anything for you

Jung Hoseok: yoongs Jung Hoseok: you’re making me hard just thinking about you Jung Hoseok: I touched myself when I went down on you Jung Hoseok: you tasted so good, you had a shower didnt you? Jung Hoseok: you look beautiful naked Jung Hoseok: you look beautiful clothed Jung Hoseok: I want you to touch yourself Jung Hoseok: I’m there with you, my hands on your body Jung Hoseok: you feel that?

Min Yoongi: yes Min Yoongi: yes i do Min Yoongi: what about you? Min Yoongi: I didn’t pay you back

Jung Hoseok: next time baby Jung Hoseok: you can dream of what ure going to do to me Jung Hoseok: I’ll dream of you Jung Hoseok: I always do Jung Hoseok: I love your voice, when you moan for me Jung Hoseok: are you moaning now? Jung Hoseok: you could be a singer with that voice Jung Hoseok: but I don’t want u to share it with anyone other than me Jung Hoseok: youre not replying but youre reading Jung Hoseok: I can imagine you, are you laid back on the same bed I touched you on today? Jung Hoseok: Imagine my hands on you baby, my mouth on your skin, marking you, making you mine Jung Hoseok: do you want that? Do you want everyone to know youre mine? Jung Hoseok: then say my name, don’t be embarrassed Jung Hoseok: im picturing u touching yourself Yoongi Jung Hoseok: I want to watch you do it Jung Hoseok: I want to help you Jung Hoseok: god look at what youre doing to me yoongs Jung Hoseok: you made me cum today without touching me and now you’ve got me hard Jung Hoseok: im thinking of u baby, thinking of your face when I touched u down there Jung Hoseok: u were so wet for me yoongs, it was so hard to hold back Jung Hoseok: im touching myself yoongs im thinking of you losing control Jung Hoseok: stroking yourself with your top ridden up your hair a mess Jung Hoseok: god I want to be there hearing the noises ure making Jung Hoseok: I should have stayed Jung Hoseok: yoongs I want u Jung Hoseok: so much Jung Hoseok: look at what ure making me do yoongs Jung Hoseok: I cant believe u thought id leave you Jung Hoseok: im nothing with you yoongs you mean everything to me Jung Hoseok: when you cum I want you to say my name Jung Hoseok: because you’re mine Jung Hoseok: not jinsoos not anyone elses but mine

Min Yoongi: I came Min Yoongi: just now

Jung Hoseok: I haven’t yet Jung Hoseok: yoongs Jung Hoseok: send a pic Jung Hoseok: I don’t care of what, anything will do as long as its u

Min Yoongi: it’s embarrassing Min Yoongi: but you helped me, so I’ll help you

Jung Hoseok: thank u Jung Hoseok: did u say my name?

Min Yoongi: yes Min Yoongi: I’m yours Min Yoongi: (picture attached) Min Yoongi: it’s embarrassing

Jung Hoseok: oh fuck Jung Hoseok: is that u right now baby? Jung Hoseok: lying there all messy Jung Hoseok: its not embarrassing its hot Jung Hoseok: youre so hot yoongs

Min Yoongi: you’re hotter Min Yoongi: do you want me to stay with you until you come?

Jung Hoseok: yh Jung Hoseok: say something Jung Hoseok: dirty Jung Hoseok: record it Jung Hoseok: please

Min Yoongi: (voice attachment) Min Yoongi: my voice is gross, sorry

Jung Hoseok: yoongs do u know how hot your deep voice is? Jung Hoseok: didn’t know you thought like that yoongs Jung Hoseok: I like it Jung Hoseok: im almost there

Min Yoongi: when you come, say my name Min Yoongi: you’re mine

Jung Hoseok: I am I am Jung Hoseok: id worship you Yoongi fuck look what ure doing to me Jung Hoseok: i came

Min Yoongi: you’re perfect, Seok Min Yoongi: I’ll be there next time Min Yoongi: I’ll pay you back

Jung Hoseok: yoongs youre too good to me Jung Hoseok: I feel icky Jung Hoseok: but really good

Min Yoongi: ‘icky’? Min Yoongi: so do I Min Yoongi: I’m going to clean up Min Yoongi: thank you, Seok

Jung Hoseok: it’s a valid word!! Jung Hoseok: same here Jung Hoseok: thank you, yoongs :) Jung Hoseok: yoongs

Min Yoongi: yes?

Jung Hoseok: why didn’t we call each other?

Min Yoongi: oh Min Yoongi: I forgot Min Yoongi: you were typing and I read it in your voice

Jung Hoseok: oh hahahaha Jung Hoseok: this way ull have it forever Jung Hoseok: so if im not there and ure lonely u can read it :)

Min Yoongi: gross

Jung Hoseok: im joking!!!!!! Jung Hoseok: I’ll always be here Jung Hoseok: anything for you yoongs Jung Hoseok: you know that right??

Min Yoongi: yeah Min Yoongi: yeah, I do Min Yoongi: thank you, Seok Min Yoongi: I’ll always be here for you, too

Sunday was fairly uneventful. Yoongi’s parents didn’t return until late at night, and his brother was still at college which left Yoongi to his own devices with no distraction from Hoseok to provide him with any real entertainment. He spent the majority of the day watching make-up tutorials and researching piano score sheets to practice on his own. It was refreshing to play again, he felt like he were a little kid whose biggest problem was that he didn’t like the fruit that his mum packed in his lunchbox. However, this time he tackled practice with a matured and more determined attitude, although he still may have cursed when his fingers slipped.

It was early Monday morning when he received a text from Jeongguk, Yoongi was just about to clamber onto the school bus. He headed towards his usual seat in the middle of the bus, and positioned himself next to the window before opening the message.

‘Tae said he wants to talk to me? he wants to meet after school at that western restaurant me and u used to go to. Do I say yes? He’s ignored me for over a week’.

Yoongi frowned in bewilderment. Taehyung was reaching out to Jeongguk after so long? What was the purpose behind it? He had the sudden urge to grill Hoseok but refrained from doing so as he knew that Hoseok would probably rather die than betray his friends’ secrets.

‘Ask him what he wants first. It’s weird he’s messaging you now’. Yoongi replied with and then eagerly awaited a response.

He didn’t have to wait too long. ‘Okay, i just did, and he said ‘to apologise’. Yoongs what do I do?’

Yoongi found himself at a loss, Taehyung wanted to say sorry for his behaviour which most likely required an explanation. Jeongguk had nothing to lose and everything to gain, from his perspective at least. ‘Agree to meet with him and demand an explanation.’

‘Ok ok ok I just did and he said he’ll tell me everything. I’m oddly nervous. He makes me so nervous I almost forgot holy shit.’

Yoongi guffawed and had to hide his laughter into his hand. ‘make sure you turn up then. And don’t worry, you probably do the same to him.’ It was a struggle not to correct ‘probably’ with ‘definitely’.

Jeongguk responded with a variety of emoji’s which Yoongi interpreted correctly to be satire. He smiled and shook his head at the younger boy’s attitude as the bus halted at the bus stop outside of the school. Yoongi remembered that he had agreed to meet Hoseok near the courts before the bell rang and his heart folded inside of his chest.

Everything that Hoseok had confessed to him on Saturday had been replaying on his mind consistently. His heart throbbed almost painfully with the fondness that Hoseok held for him. It was entirely overwhelming and completely staggering to be showered with adoration from a boy who was the definition of perfection itself. Yoongi wondered whether Hoseok knew how amazing he was, how much he occupied Yoongi’s mind and heart. Hoseok had re-kindled the spark of passion in him for music, a passion that he had let die, and had also aroused a ravenous hunger for Hoseok and his touches. Yoongi pondered whether Hoseok was aware just how much he meant to Yoongi - he wanted to show Hoseok, whether it be through words of through actions. Hoseok had re-birthed him into someone he was profusely happy to be.

Suddenly, inspiration cascaded over him, bleeding into his veins and feeding his heart. He had an idea to show Hoseok how much he meant to Yoongi, he would need time, though. And a lot of patience. But he was certain that he could do it, after all, Yoongi had told Hoseok the truth. That he would do anything for him.

“Hey, Yoongs!” Namjoon called him over to the courts when he was walking past the field where Jeongguk was playing football with a group of people in his year. Yoongi’s eyes drifted past Namjoon and focussed on the figure next to him. The same figure that had undressed him and had leant over him, causing him pleasure that was sapped from heaven itself and bestowed it onto him. Hoseok was watching him and Yoongi was fairly assured that Hoseok was thinking along the same lines as he was as he spied through the mesh fence that Hoseok had licked his lips whilst watching him.

Yoongi entered the gate to the courts and approached the two, removing his earphones from his ears and wrapping the wire around his phone. “Don’t be so loud in the morning, it’s not healthy.”

Namjoon simply smiled at him, raising a visible eyebrow over the frames of his glasses. “I think you just don’t want me to be happy.” Yoongi raised an eyebrow back at him as if to say, ‘you’re exactly right’. Namjoon laughed, nudged him with an elbow.

Yoongi returned a smile, his heart warm. He was over the moon that he and Namjoon had managed to restore their friendship ever since he and Hoseok had begun their relationship. He had confided in Namjoon first, not wanting to seem as though he were dragging Jeongguk’s face through the dirt by confessing that he was in a relationship whilst Jeongguk struggled with his situation involving Taehyung. After Yoongi admitted to having taken Namjoon’s advice, Namjoon’s face had broken into an unbelievably wide grin and had pulled Yoongi into a hug, congratulating him on his bravery.

Yoongi was significantly aware that Hoseok was watching he and Namjoon jousting. He could feel Hoseok’s eyes running over him and could hear Hoseok’s quiet intake of breath when Yoongi turned his head to look at him.

“Hey,” Yoongi greeted, a shy smile seeping onto his face when he heard how quiet his voice was and noticed how intense Hoseok’s gaze was.

“Hey,” Hoseok responded, his tone equally as soft but his smile wide and his eyes warm, latching onto Yoongi’s as the golden sunshine poured down on them.

Yoongi had almost forgotten that Namjoon was standing in their proximity. “I was just telling Hoseok about this weekend - Jin told me that he was going to meet up with Taehyung and Hoseok, and he asked if it would be alright for all of us to officially meet.” Namjoon smiled, but it was too distant to be directed at Yoongi. “He’s really interested in meeting you guys, he didn’t get to last year so he wants to make up for lost time.”

It was strange to see the cool, calm and collected Namjoon be so completely love-struck, but it was refreshing as well.

“It sounds great, Namjoon,” Hoseok said earnestly, ripping his eyes away from Yoongi’s long enough to direct his attention at the person he was talking to. “I honestly don’t mind it. It’s the first time we’ve all hung out, and I want to get to know Yoongi’s friends better.”

At Hoseok’s words a bright smile had flashed across Yoongi’s face which Namjoon caught instantly. Namjoon smiled back, a knowing glint in his eyes. “Thanks, Hoseok, that means a lot – and I’m sure it means a lot to Yoongs, here, as well.” Hoseok turned to Yoongi with a gleamingly bright grin, Yoongi turned his back slightly and made to observe the football game Jeongguk was partaking in that was playing out on the field. “Does anyone know if Jimin will be available?”

Yoongi caught Hoseok’s uncertain glance and he cast his eyes down at his shoes. “I haven’t heard from him. I think...” He paused, mentally deciding whether he was allowed to tell Namjoon the truth. He realised that Namjoon was Jimin’s friend too, and would definitely want to be in the know as to whether Jimin was alright. “I think he’s trying to sort himself out.”

Namjoon watched him carefully. “So, I take it that you’ve talked to him, then?”

Yoongi registered the slight hurt in his voice and words blundered around in his mind trying to shove themselves together to form an explanation.

“We both did,” Hoseok jumped to his aid. “We weren’t purposefully trying to leave you out – Jimin wanted to talk to Yoongi, probably to apologise about what had happened at the club, but I wanted to come with; I wanted to know why Jimin was avoiding all of us.” Namjoon nodded slowly, and Hoseok continued. “I’m sorry, I should have invited you – and Jeongguk, too. You’re both Jimin’s friends, you both deserve to know what’s going on. But, I don’t think me or Yoongs can tell you.”

Hoseok was standing close enough to touch, to cling onto his hand, but he refrained from doing so. His heart was jumping wildly inside of his chest as Hoseok had lent him support without him asking. Hoseok really did care about him, and although he very much appreciated Hoseok telling him so, it was rejuvenating to hear it through different means. Yoongi very badly wanted to do the same for Hoseok and he found some comfort in the fact that he already had an idea how to do so.

“‘Seok!” Someone was calling for Hoseok’s attention. The three turned towards the noise and found a rather frantic Taehyung on the opposite side of the fence, gesturing desperately for Hoseok to join him.

Hoseok waved back and yelled at him to ‘wait up’. He turned to them rather sheepishly. “Sorry,” he smiled weakly. “We should make a group chat? To talk about this weekend?”

“Oh, god,” Namjoon groaned and Yoongi snickered, getting at what he was insinuating. “This is going to get messy.”

Hoseok laughed in agreement. “Exactly! I can’t wait! I’ll make it tonight.” Yoongi’s hand received a familiar warmth. He looked to find Hoseok gazing at him, adoration woven into his smile. He squeezed Yoongi’s hand. “Talk to you in History.”

“Yeah,” Yoongi breathed out, his hand tightening around Hoseok’s before loosening his grip and allowing Hoseok to leave, his eyes never leaving Hoseok’s. “History...” He murmured faintly once Hoseok had quirked his lips into his signature enthused smile and waved goodbye before running out of the courts to meet Taehyung.

There was a brief silence before Namjoon guffawed and then let out a burst of laughter. Yoongi glared at him but couldn’t keep the smile off of his face. “What?” He demanded, struggling to keep down a laugh of his own.

“Nothing, it’s nothing,” Namjoon bluffed, his voice coming out in gasps before his laughter sobered. He shot Yoongi a sheepish glance. “It’s just I’ve never seen you so – so...”

“‘So’ what?” Yoongi challenged without threat, his smile imminent.

“So soft,” Namjoon finished, reaching to pinch at Yoongi’s cheeks. Yoongi tried to scowl but feared it came out in a grimace and moved away. “It’s adorable, really. The way he defended you was impeccable! He really likes you, Yoongs.”

Yoongi flushed. “I know. He told me.”

Namjoon’s eyebrows rose and impressive amount of centimetres. “Wow. I’m really glad you’re being open about your feelings. You said it back, right?”

“Of course!” Yoongi defended, and then pretended not to glow when the bell rang as it signalled two whole hours he would be spending with Hoseok.

“So, how far have you two gone?” Namjoon asked casually once the two exited the courts and was out of earshot of any potential eavesdroppers. Yoongi spluttered with shock, his face turning ruddy at the aptness of Namjoon’s questioning. How had Namjoon known?

Namjoon laughed again, poking Yoongi in the ribs. “You don’t have to tell me. It was just so obvious! The way he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you, and the way you greeted each other like young lovers – I feel like I’m in a rom-com.”

Yoongi fell silent in mortification, thrown at Namjoon’s interpretation of the briefest of their actions. He was glad that Namjoon’s goal was to become a psychologist; that way Namjoon would be too busy reading other people to pay attention to him. Namjoon’s interpretations of others were no longer a thrill to listen to; they were becoming too accurate. Scarily accurate.

Yoongi hadn’t expected the school day to be that stressful but as he arrived back home with a stack of homework and the lectures from his teachers about applying to the right university, he resigned himself to sitting at his desk the whole night with stress surging through his system.

He had finished his Science homework and had begun researching universities, silently having a breakdown because what the fuck – he had to decide his whole future now? What did he even want to do with his life? Fortunately, his phone began buzzing persistently and distracted him from his existential crises. He checked the caller ID and was pleased to see it was Jeongguk – someone without the pressures of having to decide their fate in a span of a few months.

“Hey,” he answered, grateful for the distraction. A mutilated screech filled his eardrum and he gasped in pain, holding the phone away from his ear. “What the fuck?”

“YoongsIdiditIaskedTaehyungoutIcan’tbelieveIdidthat-”

“Whoa, whoa, what?” Yoongi tried to get Jeongguk to slow down. “Was that even a language? Did you meet up with Taehyung?”

A shuddery breath was breathed into his ear as he leant back on his chair. “Sorry, Yoongs. I kinda don’t know what to do with myself.”

“Start from the beginning,” Yoongi instructed. “Did you go and see Taehyung?”

Jeongguk, on the end of the line, must have collapsed onto a chair as there was a sound of furniture squeaking. “Yes, I did. I was thinking about it the whole day, and I had figured out what I was going to say and everything, but when I met him after school at the bus stop all of the words just – I didn’t know what to say.” Yoongi snorted and Jeongguk shushed him.

“He said that it was nice to talk to me again, and I realised that I had no idea what I was doing but it was okay because I was with him – does that make sense?” Yoongi felt a stirring in his heart as the image of Hoseok flashed across his mind, but he didn’t get a chance to agree as Jeongguk continued on. “So I said, ‘likewise’, and he laughed. Have you ever wanted to drown in someone’s laughter because it’s the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard?” Yet again, Jeongguk didn’t give Yoongi the opportunity to answer affirmatively as he swiftly carried on with his story.

“Tae was really nice from the outset, he paid for my bus ticket to town and he kept telling me stories about his family and stuff that his dog does. It was so calming just sitting there and listening to him, I could have sat there forever. He has this little smile when he remembers something funny, and then he would turn to me and that smile would get bigger and I wanted to kiss so badly him, Yoongs, but I couldn’t.” Yoongi smiled and didn’t dare interject; he knew that feeling all too well and had only first started to experience it a few weeks back.

“So, we get to town and we’re walking so close together – at one point I think he’s trying to hold my hand, but he’s trying to stop my phone from falling out of my pocket. And when we get to the restaurant he holds the door open for me, and I don’t think I’ve ever been in more pain, his smile was – was – ethereal.”

“Oh, nice word,” Yoongi commented, running his eyes over a prestigious university before clicking off the page. There was no way that he would ever acquire the grades to be accepted, he would have to aim lower.

“Thanks, Yoongs. Anyway, after we order he tells me that he’s been wanting to talk to me for a long time – and that he’s ‘really, really, really glad’ that we started talking in the first place, to which I agreed with – but he couldn’t talk for the last few weeks because he was ‘going through a situation’... He told me about Jimin, Yoongs.” Yoongi remained silent, unsure of what to say. “It’s okay, Yoongs, don’t feel bad. I know you couldn’t tell me. But Jimin told Tae that he could tell me, so Tae said that he barely talked to anyone because he was stressing about Jimin. That’s what he said anyway.” Jeongguk didn’t sound convinced.

“You don’t believe him?”

Jeongguk sighed and Yoongi’s phone shuddered at the plosive volume. “I don’t know. I’m not sure, it’s just when he was telling me he seemed... off? Like, there was something else he wasn’t saying. Anyway, he said that he was extremely sorry and that he would do whatever it took to restore what ‘we had’, if I was willing.” There was a note of tension in Jeongguk’s voice and Yoongi tensed in anticipation. “One of the things I noticed was that he didn’t say ‘friendship’ was the only thing we had between us, and I remembered when we went to that club and we were dancing – the waywe were dancing, it just didn’t... It didn’t feel platonic.”

Yoongi hummed in agreement, recalling a fragmented image of how Taehyung and Jeongguk had been practically wrapped around each other on the dance floor.

“So...” Jeongguk started and then let out a nervous bout of laughter. “So, I thought to myself: I want him, and right now I think he wants me, so what do I have to lose? Obviously, I was ignoring the soul-crushing fear of rejection.” Yoongi laughed loudly along with Jeongguk and then silenced himself, looking forward to hearing the continuation.

“I...” Jeongguk sounded hesitant, then he cleared his throat and Yoongi heard the squeak of a chair. “I asked him what sort of things he had in mind to make it up to me, and he said ‘anything’, so...” Yoongi awaited eagerly with baited breath. “I told him, ‘how about you let me take you on a date?”

Yoongi let out a low whistle and Jeongguk laughed into his ear. “I didn’t know you had lines, ‘Guk.”

“Oh, be quiet,” Jeongguk teased. “I haven’t got to the best bit, yet, so don’t interrupt!” Yoongi mock-tutted at Jeongguk’s attitude but abided by his request. “Right, so after I say that – and then wanted to die because that was probably one of the most cringe-y things I’ve ever said – he just looked at me for a solid five seconds before leaning in, and smirking, and he said, ‘how about we not wait and count this as our first date?’”

“Wow,” Yoongi drew out in disbelief, excitement bubbled within him as he imagined Jeongguk’s incredibility towards the whole situation. He was ecstatic that things seemed to be moving forwards between the two of them; they had been smitten for years.

“I know!” Jeongguk practically yelled, his voice breaking. “Somehow I managed not to faint and I said, ‘I’d like that’, and that I’d pay because he paid last time. And then he smiled, and we started talking about everything and anything, really." He paused. "Yoongs,” he started, his voice muffled.

“Yeah?” Yoongi answered, intrigued.

“He told me that Jimin moved back into his parents’ house after he met up with his mum. I think... I think it’s going well for him.” Happiness seeped into Jeongguk’s voice which caused the same emotion to fizz within Yoongi at the news.

“I’m glad to hear that. I was worried,” Yoongi admitted. “I’m really happy for you, ‘Guk, I’m glad that Taehyung feels the same.”

“Well, I don’t really know,” Jeongguk began, his voice hesitant. “We talked about our next date – which is this Sunday, the day after we meet up with Hoseok and all of his friends – but we didn’t talk about our feelings. I don’t know if he feels the same for certain.”

“Oh,” Yoongi floundered, his mind stuck. “Message him.”

“You said the same thing about Chunhei,” Jeongguk chuckled. Yoongi’s mind scampered to place the name with the person and remembered, Jeongguk’s ex-girlfriend. Oh. Right. “It’s impersonal. I’d rather do it in person, so I’ll try on Sunday.”

“Still, it’s something, isn’t it?” Yoongi offered to try and redeem himself. “He turned your meet up into a date and agreed to go on another one. Don’t think about it as getting your hopes up, and think confidently. He likes you, ‘Guk.” It was advice that he wished he could have believed in when Hoseok had first confessed his feelings to him, Yoongi had second-guessed every single one of his own actions when he had begun to like Hoseok back.

He didn’t need to see Jeongguk to know that he was smiling. “Thanks, Yoongs. You’re a good friend.”

Yoongi was sure that the warmth in his chest had nothing to do with the heat radiating from the radiator in his room. He felt extraordinarily blessed by every person he was surrounded by. Yoongi longed for a future where it could be so, him and Hoseok happy together, along with Namjoon, Seokjin, Jeongguk and Taehyung. It felt right. Like it was meant to be.

(Jung Hoseok formed a chat) (Jung Hoseok has invited you, Kim Taehyung, Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin, Jeon Jeongguk and Park Jimin to the chat.) (Jung Hoseok has named the chat: saturdays loser-fest)

Kim Seokjin: I’m not a loser :(

(Jung Hoseok has named the chat: saturdays cool-fest minus Jin cuz he’s a loser)

Kim Seokjin: we haven’t spoken in a month and this is how you treat me?

Jung Hoseok: maybe if u werent such a loser id be nicer :)

Kim Seokjin: It’s been a month and you haven’t learnt grammar. This makes me sad

Kim Namjoon: I can’t believe you ever held such grand expectations for him.

Kim Seokjin: I didn’t, I lied ;)

Jung Hoseok: GET A ROOM!!!!!!!!!! Jung Hoseok: and RUDE!!!! :(

Kim Seokjin: We were on our own chatROOM until you interrupted us!

Jung Hoseok: fine go back to it then i didnt wanna see u this saturday anyway :)

Kim Namjoon: I take personal offence.

Jung Hoseok: Namjoon pls stop with the fullstops it makes me nervous

Kim Namjoon: Why.?. Kim Namjoon: Does grammar offend you so badly?. Kim Namjoon: .

Jung Hoseok: i rate you the worst out of yoongs friends

Kim Namjoon: :(

Kim Seokjin: hey, back off of my man!

Jung Hoseok: thats not how young ppl talk

Kim Seokjin: Okay, now I remember why I didn’t talk to you for a month

Jung Hoseok: ????? why ever not im an angel :)

Min Yoongi: you’re really not

Kim Namjoon: ooooohh drama

Kim Seokjin: brb I’m getting popcorn

Jung Hoseok: u guys are officially the worst, u deserve each other Jung Hoseok: yoongs why are u being mean????? :(

Jeon Jeongguk: Hoseok, why can’t you type?

Kim Seokjin: OOOOH! SHOTS FIRED

Jung Hoseok: again thATS NOT HOW YOUNG PPL TALK!!!!!!!!!!!

Kim Seokjin: Joon, please hit him when you see him tomorrow

Kim Namjoon: Will do, I’ll defend your honour

Jeon Jeongguk: Just a warning for Joon, if you send any of your poetry on this group chat, I’m leaving

Jung Hoseok: POETRY????? JIN U DIDN’T TELL ME THIS Jung Hoseok: also don’t worry Jeongguk ill kick them out if they do

Kim Seokjin: It’s not my job to tell you every detail of our relationship, dear :)

Kim Namjoon: You just confirmed it on purpose, didn’t you?

Kim Seokjin: maybe :) Kim Seokin: maybe I want everyone to know how sweet my boyfriend is :)

Kim Namjoon: the amount of smiley-faces tells me otherwise, it tells me you want me to suffer.

Jung Hoseok: NAMJOON PLEASE STOP WITH THE STOPS Jung Hoseok: yoongs don’t think i cant see u lurking and not replying to my question: why am i not an angel????

Min Yoongi: I was just reading the messages

Jung Hoseok: did u see them all ganging up against me?????

Min Yoongi: yeah

Jung Hoseok: :)

Min Yoongi: I laughed

Jung Hoseok: :(

Kim Seokjin: PAWWWWNED

Jung Hoseok: i will kill you

Kim Namjoon: and I won’t stop him.

Kim Seokjin: Why is my boyfriend so mean?

Jung Hoseok: why is MY boyfriend so mean??????? :(

Jeon Jeongguk: wait, are you guys officially dating?

Min Yoongi: oh, shit, Guk, I’m sorry Min Yoongi: I didn’t tell you Min Yoongi: I’ll tell you why on private

Jung Hoseok: oops Jung Hoseok: did i fuck up???

Min Yoongi: No, Seok, don’t worry, it’s my fault Min Yoongi: I’ll be back soon

Jung Hoseok: ill miss u

Kim Seokjin: GET A ROOM!

Kim Namjoon: GET A ROOM!

Kim Seokjin: Joon, care to explain why you’re stealing my words?

Kim Namjoon: That freaked me out, too. Kim Namjoon: Maybe it’s because I know you so well?

Kim Taehyung: I come online to find everyone flirting, can I join in?

Kim Seokjin: No

Kim Taehyung: ...t a problem??? WOW THANKS! <3 Kim Taehyung: Seok you looked really nice today ;) Kim Taehyung: Jin I didnt see you but I assume you looked nice today ;)

Kim Seokjin: Is this how you flirt with that kid you told me about a year back? It’s disgusting

Jung Hoseok: Jin can u send us some poetry that Namjoon sent u Jung Hoseok: Namjoon do I have permission to call u Joon cuz we’re defo gonna be bonding after this

Kim Namjoon: Jin, if you do that I will break up with you. Kim Namjoon: You can, but that sounded very ominous.

Jung Hoseok: omfg no please dont break up Joon might write some sad poetry:(

Kim Namjoon: Any chance of us becoming close just crumbled away.

Jung Hoseok: im sorry!!!!!

Kim Taehyung: Seok, why dont you tell everyone that haiku you wrote about Yoongi in the fourth year?

Jung Hoseok: i fucking hate u Kim Taehyung

Kim Taehyung: thats a shame because I love you <33333

Kim Namjoon: Oh? You know what, Hoseok, you should share your haiku.

Jung Hoseok: JIGKW I HATE U ALL Jung Hoseok: u know what??? Fine, I will!!! Im not ashamed of it because I love Jung Hoseok: love it Jung Hoseok: I love the haiku because it’s nostalgic Jung Hoseok: and im not ashamed of it being about yoongs because yoongs is my bae

Kim Seokjin: That’s not how young people talk

Jung Hoseok: I curse you and your work-out routine

Kim Taehyung: omg, Seok do you still have it??

Jung Hoseok: should do Jung Hoseok: but heres the deal!!! Jung Hoseok: if I send the haiku, Jin sends one of the poems Joon wrote for him!!!

Kim Taehyung: oooOOH I love this!!!

Kim Namjoon: Jin. If you want me to come to yours on Sunday you will not give in.

Kim Seokjin: (Picture attachment) Kim Seokjin: Oops! My hand slipped!

Kim Namjoon: WHY.

Jung Hoseok: O H MY GODODODO Jung Hoseok: ARE U SEEING THIS TAE???

Kim Taehyung: sorry, I blacked out after, ‘you’re the only one, it’s you my heart has won’

Jung Hoseok: (Picture attachment) Jung Hoseok: ACTUAL PICTURE OF ME RN

Kim Taehyung: oh MY GOD, ARE YOU CRYING???

Jung Hoseok: OF LAUGHTER

Kim Taehyung: I’m so glad! I was gonna say if you liked this you’re so weird

Kim Seokjin: Oh? Really now?

Kim Taehyung: SHIT

Kim Namjoon: For the record, I wrote that a year ago.

Kim Taehyung: I’m sure you can do loads better now!

Jung Hoseok: omg tae are u trying to win Joons favour? JIN!! TAES TRYING TO STEAL YOUR BOYFRIEND!!!!

Kim Seokjin: Put your hands up, Tae!

Kim Taehyung: NEVER! Kim Taehyung: while we’re here, the real question is: Jin, did you ever write poems back?

Jung Hoseok: there is silence Jung Hoseok: OJIGKN HE DID!!!

Min Yoongi: We’re back Min Yoongi: What’s going on?

Jung Hoseok: yoongs I missed u Jung Hoseok: SCROLL BACK UP OKRGLW

Min Yoongi: I missed you, too Min Yoongi: Okay

Kim Taehyung: holy shit, you two are married

Jeon Jeongguk: you two are so whipped

Jung Hoseok: whOA, the telepathy twins are here!!!!

Kim Taehyung: hey, ‘Guk :)

Jeon Jeongguk: hey, Tae

Jung Hoseok: is it just me OR IS IT GETTING STEAMY IN HERE

Kim Taehyung: Hoseok shut up.

Jung Hoseok: oh sorry

Kim Seokjin: Joon, you still are coming to mine this Sunday, right?

Kim Namjoon: It depends.

Kim Seokjin: On?

Kim Namjoon: Will you wear what I bought you?

Jung Hoseok: O EWIUFJKNK

Jeon Jeongguk: Is this kinky? I think it’s kinky

Kim Seokjin: Of course, I’ll wear it

Kim Namjoon: Then I’m all yours

Kim Seokjin: I’m yours

Jung Hoseok: WOW OH JEEZ PEOPLE WE HAVE MINORS HERE Jung Hoseok: Jeongguk look away!!!!

Kim Namjoon: It backfired, Hoseok. My poems worked.

Jung Hoseok: ?????

Kim Namjoon: Question, Hoseok: Did your haiku get you laid?

Jung Hoseok: O MY GODDDDOOODOD

Min Yoongi: it might

Jung Hoseok: YOONGS GET OFF THE CHAT NOW

Kim Seokjin: I think he’d rather get you off, Seok

Jung Hoseok: choke. Actually choke

Kim Namjoon: Oh, I’ve got that covered.

Kim Taehyung: I feel like I’m reading R 18 smut

Jeon Jeongguk: Am I watching porn right now?

Kim Taehyung: oh

Jeon Jeongguk: hi again

Kim Taehyung: we need to stop doing this hahaha :)

Jeon Jeongguk: We should, but I guess our minds are connected now hahaha

Jung Hoseok: IT KEEPS GETTING WORSE Jung Hoseok: YOONGS???

Min Yoongi: yes?

Kim Seokjin: Now your boyfriend’s here, Seok, I think it’s only fair you keep your part of the bargain and send your haiku :)

Kim Namjoon: God, I love you, babe.

Jung Hoseok: ok i think this its time that u two GO AWAY

Kim Namjoon: Never.

Min Yoongi: Seok, you should always keep your word

Kim Seokjin: Yoongi, I don’t know you very well, but I love you Kim Seokjin: [your picture is so cute, by the way, I can see why Seok likes you :)]

Jung Hoseok: ummm excuse me but stop flirting with my boyfriend!!!! Jung Hoseok: also yoongs is so much more than his beautiful appearance u loser

Min Yoongi: Thanks, Seokjin Min Yoongi: You were always the most handsome guy in your year, I remember that Min Yoongi: Also, Seok, trying to butter me up won’t change anything Min Yoongi: you owe me a three year old haiku

Kim Seokjin: aww, you know just what to say, thank you :)

Kim Taehyung: Seok, listen to your boyfriend and send it

Jeon Jeongguk: I agree, please do

Kim Namjoon: Do it. Kim Namjoon: Yoongs, make a threat.

Min Yoongi: If Seok doesn’t actually want to send it, he doesn’t have to Min Yoongi: I don’t want to make a threat

Jung Hoseok: SORRY IM BACK I FOUND IT Jung Hoseok: (Picture attachment) Jung Hoseok: aww yoongs its fine i want the people to see how much I love Jung Hoseok: love this haiku and the memories it brings :’)

Kim Taehyung: what the hell, Seok Kim Taehyung: I don’t remember it being this sweet??

Jeon Jeongguk: that was actually pretty good, Hoseok

Kim Seokjin: Jung Hoseok. You never told me about this talent! Kim Seokjin: It’s good, isn’t it, Joon?

Kim Namjoon: I’m Kim Namjoon: You

Kim Taehyung: SEOK! I THINK YOU BROKE NAMJOON!!

Jeon Jeongguk: Namjoon is currently malfunctioning Jeon Jeongguk: Okay, we need to stop saying the same thing

Kim Taehyung: hahahaha :)

Kim Namjoon: That was good. Kim Namjoon: I’m being serious, Seok – can I call you that? Kim Namjoon: That was three years ago and you liked Yoongs that much?

Jung Hoseok: wait what really all of u like it Jung Hoseok: ????? Jung Hoseok: ah sorry yes Joon you can call me Seok Jung Hoseok: i cant believe this oh wowooo

Min Yoongi: Hoseok

Jung Hoseok: oh god

Kim Taehyung: THE FINAL JUDGEMENT IS HERE PEOPLE

Jung Hoseok: hi yoongs Jung Hoseok: please don’t dump me im so sorry its so cringey and really weird

Min Yoongi: I love Min Yoongi: it Min Yoongi: your haiku was really good Min Yoongi: I’m really impressed Min Yoongi: I didn’t know you could write like that

Jung Hoseok: oh Jung Hoseok: you really liked it?? Jung Hoseok: that makes me so happy

Min Yoongi: I didn’t know you felt that strongly back then Min Yoongi: I don’t really know what to say Min Yoongi: I wish I could repay you

Kim Taehyung: Um Namjoon

Jeon Jeongguk: It looks like the haiku CAN get Hoseok laid

Kim Taehyung: ‘Guk I’m convinced that we were separated at birth

Kim Seokjin: I think that would be incest

Kim Namjoon: Maybe I should start writing haiku’s.

Kim Seokjin: You don’t need to do that to get laid, just say the word Kim Seokjin: Where’s Seok?

Kim Namjoon: You can’t just say things like that and expect to get away with it.

Jeon Jeongguk: this is getting kinky again

Jung Hoseok: Yoongs, you honestly don’t need to do anything in return, having you is enough already, I’ve got everything I’ve wanted for seven years and that’s never going to change. It means so much to me that you like my cringey haiku, it means so much to me that you care about my feelings when you said I didn’t have to send it. You mean so much to me, I want you to know that, Yoongs, and I can’t wait for our first date next Saturday, I really hope you’ll like it. And I was thinking that if you still wanted to, you could come to mine on the Sunday after the date? I’ll do something about my parents and my sister, so it’ll just be us. I want you in my room, Yoongs, I want you on my bed and I never want you to leave

Kim Taehyung: UM

Jung Hoseok: IWOPJWEK OH MY GOD Jung Hoseok: WRONG CHAT HOLY SHIT Jung Hoseok: I WAS LITERALLY ABOUT TO SEND THE SECOND PART OF THAT MESSAGE Jung Hoseok: TAE YOU SAVED MY LIFE

Kim Taehyung: there wasn’t much to save Kim Taehyung: I need to clean my eyes

Kim Seokjin: Joon, forget about the haiku’s and the dirty poems, can you write smut like Seok was about to?

Kim Namjoon: Why write it when I can do it to you, babe?

Jung Hoseok: I HATE YOU GUYS OMFG YOONGS IM SO SORRY Jung Hoseok: YOONGS CAN U EVER FORGIVE ME

Min Yoongi: Seok Min Yoongi: I just got your other message Min Yoongi: Go onto private Min Yoongi: Now

Jung Hoseok: oh god yes

Kim Taehyung: oh, that’s disgusting

Jeon Jeongguk: gross

Kim Seokjin: Joon

Kim Namjoon: Yes, baby?

Kim Seokjin: Private, now, please? :)

Kim Namjoon: Finally.

Jeon Jeongguk: is it just us left?

Kim Taehyung: And Jimin, but I don’t think he’s been using his phone

Jeon Jeongguk: Oh, I see Jeon Jeongguk: No one even talked about the time we’re supposed to be meeting up at

Kim Taehyung: They’re hopeless Kim Taehyung: It’s up to us! What time are you free?

Jeon Jeongguk: We should all go for lunch, so I’m free at 12 :)

Kim Taehyung: okay, 12 it is

Jeon Jeongguk: Are you definitely free then?

Kim Taehyung: I have this thing, but I can reschedule

Jeon Jeongguk: are you sure?

Kim Taehyung: yeah, definitely Kim Taehyung: if you’re coming then I definitely am not gonna miss it

Jeon Jeongguk: :) Jeon Jeongguk: are we still on for Sunday then?

Kim Taehyung: I wouldn’t miss it for the world <3

#yoonseok #yoonseok fic #yoonseok fanfic #yoonseok fanfiction #sope #sope fic #sope fanfic #sope fanfiction #taekook #taekook fanfic #taekook fic #taekook fanfiction #namjin #namjin fic #namjin fanfic #namjin fanfiction

12 notes · View notes

aitian · 4 years

Text

5:43 am 12/29/2020

end of year.

feels right to revisit how i looked this yr on photobooth. most ppl only knew me through my webcam. i dont have many thoughts abt who i am or what im doing these days. mostly playing video games with alice. we smoked together a few days ago & i still feel like im in deadtime. like maybe i cant remember the important things im supposed to from the past. & rly existential lately. the panic is just in my throat, thinking abt how fast time is going & how there is no way back. i think there is a carceral logic behind the entrapment that all us depressed & anxious kids feel.. like the inadequacy of being alive, the failure to feel like a beautiful future is unfolding. im not sure anyone feels that way these days, & maybe thats why they r all holding on so desperately. all empires fall. im so grateful to be able to feel moms body & be her child these days. i just wanna lay my head on someones chest & feel good, warm, soft, coarse fabrics. also feeling anxious abt my classes, turning in the same essay that isnt rly an essay to all of my profs. oops. it was rly the best i could manage. vestigial body... i will finish writing smth i feel proud abt one day, & it will be written to myself. like this.

idk when the last time i wrote was, but maybe i wanna talk abt my relationships. feels like i got a hard reset on my brain by smoking with alice. oh god. anyway i havent been talking to sherry & adele recently bc i just dont feel right around them. in november remembering again what it felt like to feel so unwelcome all the time, feel that energy & those manners replicated by them toward me.. ik i should just talk to people frankly abt the things im uncomfortable with at home now that i have so much practice doing it but i just dont want to. somehow it feels like they should all just know, that they are living alongside me all this time in various ways even if i am not saying things to them, & our actions that connect us in relationship are felt by them too. & there is some part of refusal to see the relationship for what it is. im not begging for some trans pity or for commitment.. those kinds of relationship arent real. what is real is wanting to spend time with me, wanting to experience some sort of exchange between bodies, wanting to walk toward near horizons. feels like everyone who listens & agrees when i speak just does it to be amicable. there are only so many ways i can reassure myself that ppl understand me for who i am, even when they are constantly being led astray to hurt me. like alice saying its good for doctors to have objective views of their patients, outside of any other relationship. mom saying that she trusted our teachers to teach us what we needed. getting weirdly gendered messages from friends at home, & never asked in good faith about how i feel. its rly so shitty that even questions like how was the day or what ru thinking rn or whats on the horizon r things they want me to ask, then dont want to answer, & make fun of bc they feel awkward saying anything. so stupid. its this kind of shit that holds me back from letting my desires be known, these rituals of repression & shame. & i always wanna hear ppls desires & then immediately regret asking to know that our relationship is in direct conflict with their utopias. so stupid.

today after dinner, which was in the late evening, mom & alice & i did some short yoga stuff & then we did silly lion dancing. im still sore. i stretched out everything that felt sort afterward. anyway, felt good to be goofy & sweat & breathe hard.

what im feeling abt this year: - vestigial body x1000 --> dark room, heart beating fast, waiting & squeezing. theres that episode of midnight gospel when the dying dog/reindeer lady talks abt giving birth & dying, like squeezing & tensing & on no this moment will never end & then releasing & coming to rest & then all over again. & that is what i think abt every time i feel in panic now, or in a deep place of fear. there r some pains that cant be escaped, & they dont need to be. they r felt all the same. - i made a new friend through q&a who is a kid im supposed to b mentoring. it just means that all relationships are reciprocal (i dont like that word either, but they r never simply one way or transactional) & we met every thursday during the school yr. i prepared short stories for us to read & writing prompts, & we wrote abt stuff. - i just cant remember. all i remember abt this summer was going to stone valley with mom, feeling the sunlight & my tiredness (in an enveloping selse, toward my body & my spirit), playing games w sherry, playing some piano, & working on that fire emblem romhack. feels like the year went by so quickly. like i just had my birthday a few days ago, & now the new year means it is coming again soon. sometimes whole lives are vestigial. what is gruesome & magnificent abt that is that those vestigial bodies are hard to kill without clear intentions & collective effort. what sucks is the entrapment. i have been feeling this cant remember feeling in a bigger way, toward what my life was like before college, toward who i was in college now that i am so removed, & even more toward the kid whose world blossomed into smth they desperately desired & felt afraid of. middle school me would be horrified. maybe an even younger me would be proud, feel in awe or struck by the rightness of home. - i want to remember mom. the way she walks around with her hands in her pockets. 帅吗。:). how we skip/gallop sideways to avoid the wind on our walks, & she bounces when she walks like a silly kid. i love her. unruly gender, stubbornness of feelings, failure failure failure is why we r hurt but also why we r rly still allowed to be here. thinking abt moms essay, moving away from her grandma, thinking she would live together again someday. thinking abt how im home this yr, in a way i thought maybe i would never be ever again. its so cruel to leave love behind for the sake of a ritualized life i could never participate in. i wont do it. i just wont.

some feelings abt the coming year - i want to meet someone like myself & fall in love. deeply, with myself, in relationship. i wanna have sex too, & feel held in my being alive. i wanna be allowed to enjoy my body in even more regards like wearing short sleeves & feeling the sun on my arms free from dysphoria, existing in public not noticeably & feeling the evaporation of racial tension, waking up with that feeling of possibility, like i want to be alive & eat food & go outside & do those things in my body that remind me that i am a part of how the rest of this world is growing. i wanna be held in that knowing, together, of wellness & movement toward everything that means we matter to each other. - playing video games has been so important to this vestige & i dont want it to remain that way. i wanna collect stuff & grow stuff in real life, & grow myself & my relationships too. its not living when its the mourning of the freedom i should have always had & should have every moment i am continuing to life unfreely. - i wanna do some stuff to express gratitude to the ppl i have continued some sort of relationship with. feel bad abt how no one has emailed me back in more than a month now. maybe wanna do a q&a chapbook or yearbook. complex feelings bc i am so not in relationship with the ppl i wanna care abt. it sucks. part of that is letting go of guilt too, & being real with myself abt how much responsibility is on the other body to make me feel okay in our relationships. its rly not my fault that, u kno.. everyone is used to making someone like me feel like shit. sad that my most continuous relationships this yr r with professors. those dumb feelings of obligation r killer. i guess im grateful to be legible in some ways, while feeling the intensely awkward unwillingness to be real abt our positions relative to each other. i think lots more happening in this regard in the coming months w classes, blk atlantic ecologies, maybe smth w prof lee. & sometimes thinking abt what grad school would mean. - i wanna feel slow, i wanna feel like myself, i wanna feel free. some feelings r sitting in the garden on my own in the spring, planting some stuff. thinking abt what it might grow into, coming back again & again. the sun ducks behind clouds & comes back out, & the world feels so light & passing by. & time feels forever, like i have so much patience to dream & breathe & observe. this is one of my early memories, watching shadows on the concrete/sidewalks at preschool, feeling warmer then colder then warmer again. i also wanna feel the kind of collectivity that makes me know we all insist on home. i want it to branch beyond this home that i know. & also mean that i will not throw this away. im thinking abt how to exist intimately with more than one person at once. it is smth i will learn as it comes into my life.

0 notes

survivormarmoreal · 6 years

Text

Episode #13: "im so EMO (TION)" - Bryce

I cant believe that im still here. And we have majority. 3 vs 2. Matt is coming to me know saying that he wants to work with me but like. Bruh. But that could be good tho having him. I have to see what happens with immunity first.

OKOKOKOK CAN WE JUST DISCUSS HOW AM I A FUCKING GOAT. FIRST OF ALL Jock destroyers was a pretty dominant alliance i played a SNITCH RAT GAME with exposing plans and i was lied to but like can i get some credit here like first of all it was my fucking ideal to even force a tie, bryce wanted sharky out he didn't want rocks i wanted rocks when my ass was literally on the line here and i was still willing to go to rocks because i don't want to be a fucking goat and do what bryce or sharky wants this is the only way i could get brian SHARKYS #1 ALLY out of the game so that you know who sharky's #1 ALLY IS NOW FUCKING ME. so you know what yeah i'm a goat, greatest of all time actually and i at least deserve some level of credit or respect here to pull some shit off like this. only person on the fucking tribe with the balls to do this shit and i don't even have balls. OK BYE.

i literally dont have words. i keep having meltdowns and like its so not like me i usually just treat games as fun but im just so upset bc brian went home when we could have prevented it and now im in a spot where annabelle and sharky control things and im basically going to get 5th. i really thought i was doing something and life came at me real quick and said learn ur place KJFSHKJDFHSKJ. like the play anna made was smart so go her i just hate that i got played and that brian left with the vote steal and that my game is ruined and i came so far and i thought i was playing alright also i hate how everyone and their mother keeps calling me out for playing the middle KJSFHFKS like grow up and shade me in ur confessionals not to my face im SENSITIVE AUBRY. basically the point is: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/506665419092918273/541697763788980225/image0.jpg

I'm SHOCKED. I swore to Annabelle I wouldn't right her name down. And yet she writes my name down! And just as I was thinking I could trust Bryce HE RALLIES VOTES AGAINST ME! I'm so pissed off, and scared, and hurt, and now I have to scramble to figure something out.

Okay let recap everything that has gone down in this 24 hours since I was betrayed. So I talked to Annabelle A LOT. Basically we've talked to each other a ton. I discover that Anna made the plan for the tie and then Bryce was only willing to flip if the vote was for me. SHADY. I knew I should have never trusted him. So basically either I convince Annabelle to save me, everyone goes to rocks, or Matt and Brian flip on me and I go home. I would have said the last one was super unlikely. So I start busting my ass to sway Annabelle. We have really opened up to each other about our games, she is feeling like she has to make a big move. I talked to her about how I feel hurt because I've busted my ass all game to save Anna and Matt and now they both seem unwilling to save me. I tell the guys we just have to be nice but imply to her she stands no shot of making the end without me and how Bryce is going to win. She has no idea we have the vote steal so Brian/Matt would definitely get Bryce out next. So I go to sleep thinking we are making progress. I wake up an Anna is like "Matt was rude to me so I'm definitely not flipping" so I'm starting to feel really hopeless. And then Matt and Brian both started to dodge the idea of rocks. And Anna is telling me Bryce thinks Matt is probably going to flip. So i'm thinking it's over. And in the FB Bois chat Matt and Brian both keep being like "I'm so conflicted" "we'd be guaranteed f4" "blah blah blah" So now I'm realizing these two aren't willing to go to rocks for me. I've spent this whole season trying to save our alliance at any cost. And now that I'm the one in danger...they aren't willing to take the risk. SO now I get it. I've been too nice. If they are going to put their games above mine and aren't willing to risk it so all 3 of us can make F5...I'm going to have to make sure we take that risk because it's my only shot. So I pitch to Anna a way she can get her rocks and I can be safe. We tell them that Anna agrees to save me. That way they think were set and it'll all work out and then it'll go to rocks and I'll be safe. It's super risky and I'm putting all my faith in Annabelle and I feel so scared and guilty and idk but this is the only way I survive and there is a chance Anna goes and it all works out. But...it's also not lost on me that Anna is willing to risk her own game to save me...but my own alliance isn't. I'm feeling...weird.

Brian went home. I...honestly am just feeling horrible. And he was so mad at me. Like mad to the point that I'm worried I ruined a real life friendship over this game. And Matt is furious too and he's going off on me in our group chat which fucking sucks. Like that was the worst case scenario for me. And it sucks. But I shouldn't have to feel bad about this. Like both Brian and Matt were willing to vote me out so they didn't have to go to rocks. They put their game first so why am I a villain for doing the same thing? And they want to be like "we were up front with you about not being sure" like that's supposed to make me feel better. Yeah of course you were honest you weren't the ones in danger. It's easy for y'all to be honest when you're just going to vote me out. I couldn't have been honest with them or they would have flipped and I would have gone home. How do they not see that? Was I supposed to just give up? How is that fair? And how is it that they can vote me out and I just have to accept that but they can't accept that I saved myself. I'm feeling super alone, like I can't trust anybody, and like my best friends won't even take a second to look at it from my point of view. Of course I feel terrible. I just hope this doesn't come between genuine friendships.

ANNA REALLY JUST CLOCKS ME AND SHE KNOW SHE CAN BC WHAT ELSE AM I GOING TO DO. me matt maynor better be this f3 matt might win tbh but idc! anna has CROSSED ME and like laughs in my face FKJADSHFKAJ like yes ur iconic yes u did #that but im in this game with u and its a lil rude to flaunt ur success at me FKJADSHFAKJ when i do sth good i would never constantly bring it up (btw i won immunity once and got that cute blue color so everyone is jealous prob...) also im so emo i miss dennis and i miss brian they were the 2 ppl who i felt close to in the game and theyre both gone i literally am so upset i feel like if i wasnt so busy before tribal i could have talked to brian more and convinced him he had to vote sharky bc i KNEW anna was voting sharky but he bought her lies and i was convincing enough so i just feel its my fault i lost my closest ally (and his vote steal) although maybe he would have beat me in the end so this is good thing? nope! like i think i played alright in the middle but ppl prob wont respect it and idk if i would bc clearly im biased and maybe i am just a goat and thats why im still in like i rly tried to do sth this round but didnt i just ugh so demotivated hehe but maybe ill snap or sth insert positive uplifting quote here i just hope that i can turn this around and defeat anna and her pet shark. ALTHOUGH ITS LIKE WHERE THE BIG DOG PULLS ITS OWNER AND WALKS IT INSTEAD OF THE OTHER WAY AROUND. im so EMO (TION)

yesterday i was feeling a LOT of emotions and now that i have distanced myself i realize that my emotions were VALID and i am perfect and had the RIGHT to be upset that everything went wrong. i am speaking my immunity win into existence it WILL happen. i HAVE done the homework and even if i flop it (which i wont) i will still NOT GO HOME bc matt and maynor are hopefully on my side. OK BUT LIKE IM JUST SO JKAFSHKAJDSFHADSKFJA

This immunity is very important. We cant let Matt or Sharky win it. We need to have the opinion for them available to be voted out.

So like.... I am upset and feel very alone now in this game. Brian got rocked out and i was lied to again. I am just like so over it. I feel manipulated when I did have all the power and could've got a big threat out. but NO sharky and anna the fucking dynamic duo they are decided it would be fun to go to rocks! I am just so over it. Im getting fucking 5th place and I am MAD.

OR AM I? I decided to lie last night and say i gave my idol to brian last night. Why? It would paint an even bigger target on my back so i can go idoling. Cause of course I am not dumb enough to go and give my idol away hell naw. Instead, I need to knock sharky out of the immunity comp tonight but then get everyone on my case so they vote me. then boom idol. i know that this should get me to f3. I hope. If sharky goes next, and anna/maynor win FIC. then i know i can get at least maynor with me cause Bryce will then be the clear winner out of us 4. then maybe i will have a shot at the win but eh, need to get there first. I hope to god this can work and if not, final juror here i come!

I woke up feeling TERRIBLE. I feel so bad about the Brian situation. Matt won't respond because he probably hates me. I feel like a trash person. And tbh I'm questioning if I even deserve to be here.

I feel sick. Literally this is the worst case scenario. If anybody else had won everything would be fine. And now Matt has like given up which makes me even sadder. I'm honestly considering asking everybody to vote me out. So that Matt at least has a shot of making FTC. This sucks.

I WON IMMUNITY WOOOH IM SO ICONIC IM LITERALLY A LOSING FINALIST AND EVERYONE WANTS ME OUT I FEEL LIKE ILL LOSE IN THE END BUT THAT WONT STOP THESE PPL FROM GIVING ME 4TH WHEN I LOSE THE NEXT IMMUNITY AJKFDSHKFAJ THEYRE ALL LIKE SO VISIBLY DISAPPOINTED I WON IM SO SAD NNNN I WOULD BE HAPPY FOR THEM! i really hope they vote out sharky now bc its literally the smart move but im willing to bet theyll keep him to spite me annas gonna be like sharky needs to stay we get him out NEXT round and maynor might be convinced or sth idk and matt idk askdjfhdkjf i thought we were good but he ghosted me all day today so hm. club 96 nina and tina really falling apart

Matt is literally shutting down. Like I'm trying to talk with him and mend things and try to rally him so we can figure out how to keep us both safe and honestly he's just not interested. He seems disinterested and honestly he's being kind of a brat. Stop pouting! Sack up and help me fight. Because yes I was selfish last round and that put us in a tough spot but It was never my idea to trust Bryce or my idea to ignore that we had a vote steal to secure our vote at F6. I'm not the only one who made mistakes. So come on and let's freaking recover! Or are we just supposed to lay down and award Bryce the win? UGH

I was really on the brink of asking everybody to vote me out. But Matt is being so useless right now. If he's going to act like that he'll just get picked off at F4. He has no fight. So I'm over it. I really do love him but at this point I'm going to have to just try my best to get Annabelle and Maynor to believe that they stand the best chance at FTC against me, instead of Bryce or Matt. I've already ruined my reputation so I might as well at least try to fight. I feel over everything but I have to get it together.

The vote hopefully is between Matt and Sharky. I know Bryce really wants Sharky gone. Annabelle and I are talking and seeing which route is the best for us to make it to the end.

Like wow. My brain is so big. Im pretending that I threw away my idol to brian at the last second, and that I am leaving this round. Whereas in actually reality I still have my idol and sure as heck im playing it tonight and making final 4 YEET. like woe is me, woe is me, lol no bitch im here to stay. Sharky like, needs to leave as well. I love him but 2 big if a threat and I would quite like to well, win.

Oh and as I write this annabelle needs me huh. Well listen here, you lied to my fucking face and got brian out. Thus, you also need to leave bish. I am fed up of being lied 2 constantly by these fuckers called my tribemates and I am NOT here for it anymore. Time to play the lies and deceit game myself huh

This round is so weird for me. I felt like I was in such a tough place and feeling really defeated. But now Anna is getting paranoid and there is a very slim chance I could get her to to vote Maynor and then Matt and I both make F4. But my issues is I can't trust anybody. Because I don't think anybody trusts me. Like Maynor is being very noncommittal. Anna keeps flip flopping and maybe she'll flip onto me. Matt seems on board but honestly maybe he deeply deeply hates me and is just lying and will vote me out.

There is a little over an hour left before tribal. I'm convinced that it's me going home. Everyone seems to be too easy to agree to vote with me. It's not looking good.

Literally wtf. The Biggest plot twist of the century is occurring. I'M THE SWING VOTE?? Like since when in hell was I going to be the deciding factor. I mean I like it, I have the power for once and I am safe but still omg i LOVE IT! I am bunsen the Berner in this image, deciding between 2 fates: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DzD8lXwUwAAgTlp?format=jpg&name=900x900

Having a panic attack. Im really nervous. Like i know its between Matt and Sharky. But there is still a chance that somehow me or annabell could still go. I hope it doesnt and its clear cut with Sharky and Matt. Fingers cross. Or imma die.

i had a good talk with anna today and i kind of love her (as long as she votes sharky) i think maynor might go now which is sad bc anna says matt/sharky are doing that but like matt says that he wants me maynor him f3 so who knows! anna like was honest with me about not knowing who to vote and seems to be voting sharky but literally anything can happen so whomst knows.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH okokok i feel so fucking badly about this move like so badly ughhhhhhhhhh but i feel like it has to happen i'm so so soooo sorry sharky like you have no idea i've been torn all day on what i should do and idk i feel like i lose no matter what this fucking blows

Sharky is voted out 4-1.

#episode #allmadhere

0 notes

caepaecaesurae · 8 years

Text

> Last week sometime...

caepaecaesurae ... I apologize for the #tyrian/ tag, by the by. My moirail has trouble wvith your alternates, that he is still wvorking through. brackishbarracuda so i noticed i didnt mean to start shit caepaecaesurae You havwen't, and he holds no animosity. Only memories. brackishbarracuda i cant reely say shit tbh w u i used to have the same problem w certain cronus alts i aint gonna go into it but im betta than i was

caepaecaesurae .. There are so vwery many things wvrong wvith certain Cronus alternates. brackishbarracuda an nearly all a mine are fucked so caepaecaesurae I'm glad you're doing better ..and that the entire Ampora line is not currently completely poisoned for you. brackishbarracuda trust me theres a few i could stand to see w a head on a different end a the room than the rest a them but i got double diamonds and both are v much amporas caepaecaesurae There's some that -I- wvould be inclined to separate from themselvwes. brackishbarracuda aight if im bein honest its one in particular and its an erian so i still count that as improvement caepaecaesurae I'd agree. WVas he perchance recently invwolvwed in the dashcourse? brackishbarracuda i dont think so i aint been payin attention i dont mind a name drop if ur currious just dont out me aboat it its complicate complicated efin caepaecaesurae Reasonable. ... I don't speak wvith many Eridans, I suspect it's not likely to come up, so I'll abstain. brackishbarracuda as in dont tell me or u wont out me caepaecaesurae Don't tell me -- I wvouldn't out you either wvay. brackishbarracuda s fair caepaecaesurae But this wvay, I'm not likely to read his page out of curiosity. Or ask a thousand questions that aren't my business. I'm afraid I'm as gossipy as Arlequin can be. brackishbarracuda trust me tho if he shows up and starts shit youll kno who it is caepaecaesurae Do let me knowv if you evwer need a hand. brackishbarracuda pike i said its complicated 38/ and f reel tho i aint mind questions from u in particular caepaecaesurae If you're certain, then -- wvho, and dare I ask his specific failings? brackishbarracuda violaceousvanity too many to fuckin count brackishbarracuda most a which is fuckin w my rails pusher an holdin the fact said rail had feelins for him over my damn head when i was low caepaecaesurae .. Ugh. brackishbarracuda im really tryin naut to go on a tirade aboat every fuckin thing hes done wrong bc i wont stop if i get started its platonic af caepaecaesurae I knowv the feeling. Aye, interference in romantic affairs often can be. brackishbarracuda hes still a part a my rails past tho before i knew him and he swears hes his friend so im over here just shruggin violently brackishbarracuda ur ugh in response was afishiated tho its hard to properly disgusted w somebody existence when other ppl aint as pissed as u are

Last Wednesday at 2:44 PM

caepaecaesurae I sympathise. Interpersonal conflicts of that nature are... Awvkwvard at best. caepaecaesurae Pardon for disappearing on you. brackishbarracuda nah shit happens u aight caepaecaesurae > Caesurae looked at that question, blankly, for over a minute before he could bring himself to quietly facepalm, sigh, and gather his words. Sleep came unexpectedly, that's all. brackishbarracuda count ur blessings i had to watch cats the musical before i could get my wrigs to fall the fuck asleep caepaecaesurae You havwe wvrigglers? I feel like I should havwe knowvn, sorry for the inobservwance. brackishbarracuda i dont talk aboat them much naut publicly anyway brackishbarracuda too much shit can go wrong but yeah i got five a them caepaecaesurae It's easier to protect something no one knowvs about. Gods, that seems daunting. brackishbarracuda i mean they aint mine i kinda inherited them but they mine u feel cept one ones actually mine caepaecaesurae I believwe Arlequin had a fewv sprung on him wvhen it turned out one of his flings came from a timeline wvith interesting biology. He adores havwing a massivwe family for church reasons though. brackishbarracuda yeah caepaecaesurae May I ask about the inheritance? brackishbarracuda bouy seems pike hed b happy just havin em drip off him while he fucks around in the kitchen caepaecaesurae That's fairly accurate, aye. brackishbarracuda dead red caepaecaesurae I'm sorry. brackishbarracuda they didnt really have anybody else me and the rails look after em caepaecaesurae Good that someone or something does. If you havwen't ended up lusus-bonding wvith them yet you might be able to get them lusii in a timeline somewvhere. I suspect you havwe though, by the sound of it. brackishbarracuda loz would raise from his fuckin ashes and haunt my ass if i ever got rid a them especially now brackishbarracuda theyre mine caepaecaesurae I'm glad you care for them. I'm...familiar wvith the concept from Beforus, and from my moirail's family. It's not something I'vwe personally evwer wvanted, but I'm glad it suits you. Are they young, still ? brackishbarracuda it aint someifn i ever personally wanted either tbpfh w u little shits grow on u yeah caepaecaesurae Has Arlequin met them yet? brackishbarracuda ach is the oldest and shes under five sweeps and ayas the youngest and shes in a coon rn i think we planned on it but it aint happened yet brackishbarracuda lotta shit goin on rn caepaecaesurae I suspect he'd enjoy it quite a bit. He adores spoiling wvrigglers. brackishbarracuda yeah i can sea that lmao hes a big cod damn nerd brackishbarracuda hey i got a question caepaecaesurae Aye? Fire at wvill. brackishbarracuda do u no anybody youd trust w a needle pike tattoos do u think arlequin would kno anybody in the church oar caepaecaesurae I knowv Porrim has a studio here, though I'd havwe to gently feel out howv she feels about seadwvellers. I'm sure Arlequin knowvs howv to apply tattoos in the old wvay, wvith hand-made tools and ointments rather than wvhat one wvould vwisualise in a modern tattoo parlor. I'm sure Nadaya wvould knowv someone, and could ask, if that wvould be of use. brackishbarracuda idk if i trust his evaluation of i trust u naut to kill me while u do this but yeah if u could ask around so i got options id afishiate it tbh isle still probubbly sea what arlequin can do seein as i already trust him caepaecaesurae Arlequin I wvould trust completely to do blackwvork. If he specifically says he can do brilliant colors and gradients, I'd believwe him on those too. I trust Nadaya not to put other people into stupid situations. He tries plenty of things himself he wvould not consider for others. brackishbarracuda thats fair caepaecaesurae I'll see if I can put together a list for you -- and I'll mention wvho each recommendation came from, as wvell. I'vwe been somewvhat tempted to look into it myself, I just havwen't been able to think of a design I wvanted. At least anything that wvasn't somewvhat trashy. brackishbarracuda hell let it be trashy caepaecaesurae References to the Kraken brackishbarracuda lMAO caepaecaesurae A tramp stamp, if I could bring myself to it brackishbarracuda PLZ I N-E-ED T)(IS caepaecaesurae Haha Gods. Maybe. brackishbarracuda oh my shi t absofuckinlutely i am behind this and behind u so i can stare at it caepaecaesurae I appreciate the vwote of confidence. "This side up" brackishbarracuda im la ughign i swear to fuck man embrace that shit caepaecaesurae On the one hand, yes. On the other, if I don't, I can fake being a vwery dignified older man at wvill. And people wvho don't knowv me wvill believwe it. brackishbarracuda i mean thats fair but u can do that w some paint an sealer caepaecaesurae ..Oddly true. Of course, I could put on a vwariety of different tramp stamps at wvill in the same wvay. brackishbarracuda embrace ur inner trash prince caepaecaesurae You are a terrible influence, but I'm almost intrigued enough to put together a selfie. brackishbarracuda i am tho caepaecaesurae This Side Up is the best one I can think of. Maybe a reference to the Gunshowv WVhat are some other good ones, vwisible from the front? I am preparing something. brackishbarracuda suns out guns out has alwaves been a personal fav isle ahab ur crosshairs idfk visual pun put ahabs on ur bicep caepaecaesurae Oh, perfect brackishbarracuda i am all for this please dear cod also ur attractive just fyi caepaecaesurae Thank you, I appreciate that. You as wvell, from the pictures I'vwe seen. brackishbarracuda the reactions ur getting are worth this shit alone caepaecaesurae Oh, aye, I need to do this more often. brackishbarracuda u reely do i almost wanna reblog the dam thing again caepaecaesurae One feature of tumblr that I personally appreciate is the ability to schedule posts to go off at pre-determined times years into the future. brackishbarracuda oh my shit ohhh my shit caepaecaesurae And you look at your dashboard, and you ask yourself "WVhen did I reblog that -- Oh. Ohhhhhhhhh right." brackishbarracuda i am here for this brackishbarracuda plz at least keep the gun caepaecaesurae Hah. I don't knowv. The tiny one? brackishbarracuda yeah i mean its easily hidden w sleeves an its a good ice breaker caepaecaesurae It is at that. If I did, I'd probably ask Arlequin to apply it for real. Things I imagine into place are easy to imagine awvay again. brackishbarracuda i nearly said id imagine so and stopped myself wtf me caepaecaesurae I can imagine it, and I wvouldn't havwe caught it. brackishbarracuda hes doin aight if ur currious thats my rails caepaecaesurae I'm glad he is. brackishbarracuda i get over excited about the bouys so i apologize in advance caepaecaesurae Hah. Both vvic and his brother? Enthusiasm is a blessing, enjoy it. brackishbarracuda yeah f reel tho they aint get out much so im over here wavin a lil flag when they talk to ppl on their own caepaecaesurae I havwe a fewv friends like that. Thankfully theyvwe started getting along wvith one another, wvhich is nice. brackishbarracuda tru tf to that

Last Wednesday at 6:44 PM

brackishbarracuda are u sugestin arlequin is a wrong choice caepaecaesurae No, I just knowv Arlequin wvell and don't knowv if he knowvs him. Arlequin making more positivwe social contacts is good. brackishbarracuda (that was a joke ) tru af tho caepaecaesurae I'm not that great at jokes if the punchline is someone being offended, if I'm honest. brackishbarracuda aight fair caepaecaesurae Sorry, chief. brackishbarracuda nah u aint got anyfin to apologize for

#brackishbarracuda #ooc eyes only #discussion of gossip bad tattoos and kids #trashy tattoo jokes ahoy

5 notes · View notes

beaniebitch69 · 5 years

Text

I like to be logical, but im also an incredibly emotional man, thats why i feel so much guilt for having emotions. They get in my way routinely, and they impact my thoughts.

My most pronounced emotions are fear and pride. Anyone who knows me knows i overthink literally everything, and that turns into fear of literally everything, to the point where existence itself is solely based on my unadulterated and uncontrollable fear of everything. :(

I may not look or act it, but im really quite prideful (and it doesnt help that i hate authority and know it alls). While i like to have ppl underestimate me, when they do i have to fight the urge to yell at how dumb they r for daring to assume that i couldnt do anything on this bitch of an earth. But i bite my tongue, bc fear isnt far behind. And i start to think abt all the ways i could/would screw up so i let them do it, bc if they screw its ok cus everyone makes mistakes but if i screw up then im disgusting and should be better than i am.

Pride is also the primary reason why i dont ask for help, "i should know this", "ive got this", "just have to try it on my own 20 thousand more times by myself", "oh im too smart to practice, i already got it down", "if i ask for help then im admitting weakness and im too good to be weak" are all super common thoughts that float thru my head all of the time when im struggling. My most commons ones r "top 10 times u showed how pathetically weak and awful u r", "10 times u lied abt a fake vulnerability so u wouldnt have to share what was really eating u up", and "top 10 times u told only a little of something really serious so u could remain in control of the situation and not have them become actually worried about ur well being bc sincerity of that caliber is the one thing that will melt ur facade and make u have to come to terms with the fact that a life filled with the way that ur currently living and thinking is not a life worth living and u need to change"

Meanwhile fear just adds another layer to the do not share pile. Sharing x is too much, doing y will ruin ur life, having z will make everyone hate u and desert u bc u deserve it. Too much thinking leaves a man inert but i cant stop, i must weigh all avenues of action and inaction and pros and cons and the beginning and the end and even the journey in and of itself must not escape my scrupulous gaze for if i miss even a single pebble then i might mess up something so inconceivably awful that it ruins me and the ppl around me, physically and mentally and in every way that matters and in every way that doesnt congruently, forever in the twisting maw that is and always will be.

The 2 just piggyback on each other, and lord forbid if i do something without thinking first (hell even if i do think), bc then ill regret it. Forever. It either put me in a bad light, or i bet ppl hate it; which sound like one and the same but trust me, theyr not. Example: i give a presentation but i dont know what im doing and make a fool of myself; my pride is the emotion to react to situation like that bc i didnt waste any of their time bc everyone was giving presentations and mine was short but now they think im an idiot.

Im not in a bad place rn, just bored and decided to psychoanalyze myself bc if my rival wont do it b4 i read him (correctly might i add) as a way to gain some semblance of control and dignity back (and he knows that) and then after the forced vulnerability we shared together we hate makeout then ill just do it myself.

#...#long post #srry abt this guys just needed to get my thots out #b4 i exploded #despite the fact that i talk a lot abt my personal shit yall dont know nothing that goes on in my head #and honestly #thats for the best

0 notes

numberonetrashcollectorus-blog · 6 years

Text

Columbus New Jersey Cheap car insurance quotes zip 8022

"Columbus New Jersey Cheap car insurance quotes zip 8022

Columbus New Jersey Cheap car insurance quotes zip 8022

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

RELATED QUESTIONS:

Car Insurance quote question?

When I try and get a quote for some cars on either Tesco or Direct line, it tells me they cant give me a quote online and il need to ring them. Also, the browser wont let me go back, so they make you close the window and type out another quote all over again! Why do they do this? The car I want to insure is a Nissan Navara D22. I am guessing that its because its a commercial vehicle and they want to check if il be using it for commercial use. I am 18 and have had my licence for a year, and I will be the named driver on the policy, my dad being the main driver who has over 30 years NCB! I managed to get a quote for a new Navara, not the D22 version and that was about 1990. How much do you think the D22 will be? Do you think they might class it as a van and not insure me because im under 21?""

How much would it cost to insure a 1995-2000 Ford Mustang?

Something with around 80k-100k miles. Everything stock no mods or tuning. Not convertible. Im 18 so i know itll be a decent amount. Im going to have my dad co sign on the car to help lower the insurance. Itll be used for maybe 3 times a week and ill put maybe 5k a year on it. Im on gieco currently and they wont give me an accurate qoute and i know you wont really be able to but if you give me the same number itll be the set amount ill asume. Thanks

Does a driver under 25 in the state of NH need car insurance? if they live with parents?

i know nh drivers don't need car insurance, but does a driver under 25 that lives with parents need car insurance?""

Can I rent a car without insurance in Texas?

I haven't had a car for awhile but manage to get around easily. However my main ride source goes out of town for a month on Tuesday. I booked a rental through Enterprise online for use until main ride returns. Having not owned a car for awhile, I have no insurance, so my question is: will enterprise still allow me the rental without having personal insurance? I know they have insurance to purchase at time of rental, but I need to know if I will be denied rental without my own insurance. Please know what your talking about and be sure of your answer! It's very frustrating when people who don't know the answer respond with inaccurate information.""

Can I transfer car title into my name without having insurance if car will not be driven immediately?

I recently bought a used car from a private seller that was in running & driving condition, but just short of getting it home, I hit a pretty big pothole and the catalytic converter broke where it connects to the exhaust header due to age & lots of rust from 15 yrs of Michigan winters. Since I am short of funds to get that fixed (not sure how much it will cost), I am faced with a dilemma. I bought the car with the intention of using it as my daily driver over winter. I have not gotten plates or insurance on the car, and I have not transferred the title into my name yet. My question is, since the car will be sitting in my garage for a couple months (at the most), can I just pay to transfer the title into my name without having to pay to get insurance on it or a license plate for it? I'm not sure when I'll be able to fix it since they are expensive to replace. So the car will be sitting, and I may even part it out or sell it as is to make my money back, I'm not quite sure yet. It would be a waste of money to get insurance and a plate for it if it's just going to be sitting unseen in my garage. Can I just transfer the title so that it will be mine legally without the insurance / plate if the car will not be driven immediately? This is in Michigan. ** Please no sarcastic replies, I would like an answer from someone who knows for sure. I don't need replies from people who are just talking out of their *** lol !! Thanks!! **""

Will my insurance go up?

will my insurance go up if i got a ticket for carless operation? the officer said there wont be any points on my licence but if will my insurance go up? and will i get points on my insurance?

How does uninsured motorist car insurance work?

I was hit, not my fault. First accident. The guy that hit me has insurance, but I guess im wanting to know if im going to have to pay out of pocket my deductible for my uninsured motorist even though he has insurance? (don't know how the insurance works)""

Is car insurance a waste of money?

I need to get car insurance but I feel like its a waste of money. I am going to pay them monthly and if I happen to get into an accident I will still have to pay them something. I figure that if I can take the money I am going to pay them and put it aside for an emergency it would be a better use of money. Can anyone give me any advice on what I can do? Any liability insurance that really cheap, speaking around 100 a month maybe? lol""

Average yearly car insurance cost for a new driver?

In Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. Average yearly-term for a new driver? For: A) A 60's car B) A 90's car Both in good, but no perfect condition.. I just want to know the price range I'm looking at for a standard insurance.. $500? $5,000?""

WHATS THE CHEAPEST AUTO INSURANCE COMPANY IN SOUTHERN CAL?

I used to be with wawanesa but the reps tried to rip me off a couple of times, now I'm done with them. Anyone have a suggestion on affordable auto insurance coverage.""

How much will insurance go up with 2 points on drivers license in CA?

Im from California. So I have 2 points on my driving record how much will the insurance go up? I work for a company as a driver. They have The Hartford car insurance. Thanks.

Average teen drivers insurance cost?

about how much would it cost to get insurance on a 16 year olds car? does adding it to the parents insurance make it less?

How much on average is motorbike insurance for a 17 year old girl in the uk?

:) i can't drive, but i wanna get a motorbike when i turn 17. how much would the insurance and tax etc be?""

Is Liberty National Life Insurance is a good company to work for?

Ok, like a few days ago i've scheduled an interview with National Life Insurance company and was really excited 'bout workin' there until today, but tomorrow (8/05/09) i have my interview...anyways, while i was making some more researches about the company so that i could present my questions to the interviewer (u know when he/she will ask me if i have any questions...) and then i stumbled upon some acclaimed Liberty National Life Insurance scams ...u know how people can be HORRIBLE on the internet. so anyways people (customers or employees, especially EX employees) were saying really bad stuff about the company. Like, LNL insurance doesn't pay people fairly, and that if you just wanna buy a pair of shoes to wear then it's a fitted company to work for, and all the bad things u could imagine...in fact, the ex employees were really crucial about the company. So now, i'm really nervous about working for them you know? I mean what if what those ppl are telling the truth and that i'm just heading toward god knows what?! What if i get the job and realize then that everything that was being said on the internet was true? What if they don't pay me fairly? or i don't know.... All of this has gotten me very frustrated...so if any of u guys can be any help with reliable sources, or just helpful suggestions would be more than great! Thankx and oh lol i didn't realized i wrote so much...sorry 'bout that though....""

What are some good first cars with low insurance rates?

preferably a SUV. Kind of like a blazer or something like that. Definitely under $1000. Does anyone know where online or around the york, PA area a car like that would be?""

Where can I find cheap dental insurance for braces?

I'm 20 years old and I work at Wal-Mart...I'm not sure if I'm considered to be full or part-time.....some weeks I work 40 hours and some weeks I work 32 hours....I REALLY need braces and I have no insurance and I'm clueless to all of this....if I can't get insurance through Wal-Mart...where else could I get it? Help!

Someone hit my car parked at work and i do not have insurance. whats the next step?

i was at work and when i came out, someone had hit my car while i was working. they left all their insurance information and a note apologizing, however, i do not have insurance. whats the next step for me?""

Any 18 Year old drivers with car insurance?

I'm 18 and I cant find any insurance under 7K and this is clear ageism. Are there any other young drivers who are sole policy holders with cheaper insurance?

Obama is guaranteeing affordable health care for the uninsured?

So far they don't have any proposals to lower the cost of health care. So he must be saying the government will be picking up the tap to make health insurance affordable for all of the low income, no income, the elderly, & the uninsurable. This will be a staggering amount of money. Do you trust him to pull this off?""

Auto insurance company wants to check my credit and past infractions.?

My auto insurance company (which i've been using for 6 months now) wants to check my credit history and past infractions in order to benefit from new lower rates i have good credit, but a couple of speeding tickets, could this actually increase my rate?""

What is the diffrence between the full tort and limited tort auto insurance?

i have just moved to nj from england and im trying to get insurance on my range rover i have just bought here but your insurance is totally diffrent to ours what is full tort and limited tort (etc) on progressive i can get my range rover insured for $200 a month but then it says recommended $450 and plus package $570 we dont have these diffrent packages i have no idea what bodily injury is and it goes on about all these thousends of dollars on property damage and lawsuits and uninsured its all so confusing can someone please help and break it all down im only 20 but im 21 tomorrow i moved here in april this year so i dunno if it will be cheaper when im 21 tomorrow i know it drops in england when your 21 but im not sure about here any advice would be appreciated thanks p.s love the country :)

""What do i do if i need to see a doctor, but dont have insurance?

i need to see a doctor but dont have any money to pay off future bills. what can i do? i live in nh. are there temporary insurances that are affordable? should i just go and not pay whatever bills they send? will i get denied if i have no insurance or any means of paying the medical bills?

Can AAA raise my Homeowners insurance rate by $300 for the next 3 years?

My property was stolen from the backseat of my car. AAA is saying if they pay out more than $750 (including my co-pay) then my Homeowners insurance will be raised by $300 for the next 3 years and it will be a point on my property. Is this right/legal??

How much would it cost to have insurance on your license?

I live in Washington state. I was wondering how much insurance would cost if it covered my licenance so i can drive any vehicle.

How much my car insurance is likely to cost?

I have just passed my (UK) driving test and is considering getting a car, but I need to budget first see if I can in fact afford one! I am female, turning 26 in a few months time. I will want to get a small, second hand car - would like a Ford Fiesta (1.2) or Honda Jazz (1.4) or VW Polo (1.2). Would want to get a car under 3000. Does anyone know roughly how much my car insurance will cost? I think I will take the Pass Plus course as well once I have decided to buy a car.""

Columbus New Jersey Cheap car insurance quotes zip 8022

Does car insurance need to match the titled owner of the vehicle?

I am borrowing a spare car from my mother for about six months. Do I need to go through the process of transferring the title to my name, or can I just put insurance on it under my own policy and be okay legally? BTW, I live in Texas.""

How would I insure my drivers license?

Hi, I live in Maine and was wondering if its possible (if at all) to insure my drivers license. I don't have a car but live with people who do, it would cost to much to be put on their insurance. So is there insurance out there for just a drivers license so I can drive someone else car.""

Why is the co-pay for dental insurance more expensive than health insurance?

I compared the co pays on several reputable dental insurance companies and it is very expensive. Many things are not covered, even with the best dental insurance. Health insurance is usually a 10 dollar co pay for primary physicians and a 35-50 dollar co pay for specialty physicians. Is there any reason why dental insurance co pay is as expensive as it is?""

""Car insurance cheaper in New Orleans, LA or Suffolk County, New York??""

My daughter recently moved to New Orleans, LA as an intern temporarily....does anyone know if automobile insurance, all things being equal, will be more expensive in New Orleans, Louisiana or Suffolk County, New York ??? much thanx all""

WILL MY CAR INSURANCE BE HIGH?

I'm 18, from california, and ive had my license since i was 16. I currently drive a 04 volvo and im planning to get a 2012 or 2013 chevrolet camaro LS. The plan is to trade in my old car but my mom is complaining that my insurance will be like $300 or more a month. Is that true? I have safeco btw thanks""

0bama: You can keep your health plan. Why will MILLIONS of Americans lose their health insurance?

. If you like your health plan, you will be able to keep your health plan. ~ Borat 0bama President 0bama repeatedly assured Americans that after the Affordable Care Act became law, people who liked their health insurance would be able to keep it. But millions of Americans are getting or are about to get cancellation letters for their health insurance under 0bamacare, say experts, and the 0bama administration has known that for at least three years. 0bama administration knew millions could not keep their health insurance http://investigations.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/10/29/21222195-obama-administration-knew-millions-could-not-keep-their-health-insurance""

I have a Suzuki GS500 now & want upgrade. What is the cheapest sportbike on insurance 1998-2006?

Thinking of maybe a Yamaha R6 or R1, Ducati Monster, Buell Firebolt, Kawasaki Ninja, Honda 599 or 919""

Good Cheap car insurance?

Im 16, Im getting my truck and my license in september, and I was wondering what car insurance companies I should look in to? I could be added onto my parents plan but it would be pretty expensive, I was wondering if there's a cheaper option? what insurance do you have and why? thanks!""

Can paying monthly for car insurance increase credit score?

I was just wondering if I pay my monthly insurance bill if my credit score would go up? I am trying to build my credit score after having a real bad score. I know that if you have a recurring payment it will increase the score, but does that include car insurance? I have the money to pay my insurance for the year all at once (birthday present) but if it helps my score to pay monthly, I'll just keep the money in my account and pay monthly. Thanks!""

How much would my insurance most likely cost?

I am 16 years old, do not have a license yet, but I am trying to find a good insurance company first. I have had my learner's permit for 14 months, I live in North Carolina, and I get pretty good grades (As&Bs) I would be on an insurance plan with my mom and sister. My mom got a DWI back in July (No one was hurt, but she was originally pulled for reckless driving). My sister got a small speeding ticket a few months ago, but it was dismissed. I would be sharing a car with my mom to drive to school (she works at home). It's a 2004 Hyundai Sonata, and she owns the car. I would be driving every day (probably 3x a week) and no more than 15 miles to school and back. Please help! any any car insurance company recommendations would be great too!""

What is the best insurance company to work for?

I'm 19 and i have also thought getting into sales would be exciting. there is other reason but doesn't really matter. Anyway I'm hoping that there is a good Insurance company that has a good training program and allows entry level people to work hard and succeed. A company that wants people to succeed. So far every agent i have talked to has said their business is the one to be in so i just want some not so bias opinions. seems like all the insurance companies just want to get UN knowing teens ( like myself ) in and work them for 6 months to a year and suck them dry of all the money they have. i understand that you have to work and its not just six figures in the first year.

What car insurance providers are NOT on comparison websites?

Why is my car insurance quotes so high?

Hello, I'm 17 years old and have just pasted my ful uk license and am looking for a car and insurance. The car i want is a vaxuhuall corsa 1.0 litre 3door. My friend has a 1.1 litre and his insurance is 1,200 with his dad on it. But when i look with exactly the same details (locked garage, mileage, etc) with my dad on it (i also entered my friends post code to see if there is a difference) but the cheapest quote has been 4400. Help?""

Why are the big insurance companies so much cheaper?

I am getting off my parents auto insurance and getting my own. The Quote from the agent my parents use who is local to the area was nearly two hundred dollars more per year than the quote i got from progressive. Is there a reason to use a local company? he tried to sell me on customer service but i only deal with my insurance company maybe once or twice a year so i'm not sure that its worth $200 to me. Is there a reason to use a local company?

""What is a good Car Insurance Company. Im in my early 20s, not the greatest driving record.?""

I have had a few speeding tickets, no insurance tickets, ect. 1 accident 6 years ago. I just need good, cheap, liability insurance for my fiance and I""

What is the best low cost health insurance for a small business owner with no employees?

I have two daughters, one fifteen years old in high school and the other is 21 and a college student. I am a 49 year old woman and in fair health. My husband is a Vietnam vet in fair health as well and will be eligible for medicare this year, so he will not need this insurance.""

How much does it cost to visit ER without health insurance ?

Just wondering since I visited a hospital's ER couple weeks ago . Have not received any bills yet , I'm 26 yrs old , have a health insurance from blue shield california but the plan has almost $2000 copayment that I have to pay before I can take any benefit ... I visited the ER , did a X-ray , talked to a ER physician ... and that's about it . anyone knows how much I might have to pay for the visit ?""

Which is the best dental insurance?

how do i purchace individual dental insurance and which provider is the best. i have Metlife dental through my job and i thought that i was fully covered only to find out that i have a 1000 dollar limit every year, which is like absolute nonesense, just a visit to the dentist with no work done takes about 250 dollars. i need to have a root canal and a crown and its goin to cost around 4500. please help i live in houston,texas if that helps""

Explanation for Insurance quote in Oregon?

Hi folks, I just moved to Oregon from CA. I got a quote from State Farm which suits my need. I just got a quote from an agent. She mentioned something like this in the quote. I have me and my wife as drivers. Automobile liability with W/P $25000 50/100/50. I mean to ask what does W/P $25000 mean? Is it mandatory to have PIP in Oregon? Thanks for your help.""

""Health insurance, deductible or no deductible?""

I'm looking at the Blue Shield of California Active Start 35 plan for me and my 2 year old son. It's going to cost around $200/month through ehealthinsurance Here's a link: http://askoleg.com/Blue_Shield_Active_Start_Plan_35_ppo.htm The plan features: No individual deductible Annual Copayment Maximum $7,500 Annual Physical Exam, Well-Baby Care $35 (Not subject to deductible) Laboratory, X-Ray, Major Diagnostic Services 40% (Not subject to deductible) Physician Office Visits $35 (Not subject to deductible) I do not have insurance at the moment and my son has a PPO with Anthem and a $1,500 deductible with almost the same listed here. The only difference is there is no deductible with the plan above. I'm really in need of some help, if anyone can give me good advice, I would appreciate it very much!""

What will happen when I lose my insurance?

I'm 19 years old, and i'm currently receiving my dads insurance. He is on blue cross blue shield, and I can use his insurance until i'm 26 as long as i'm in college. Well...I'm moving in June and I will be taking a break from college. I'll also be moving out of state in which case I have no clue if the insurance will cover me there. I haven't done jack squat with signing up for my own insurance because I also have a health care card through the state. When I move and I lose my insurance how do I go about signing up for new insurance? I'm planning to get insurance through an employer and sign up once I finish my first 3 months. I don't mind being without insurance for a few months because i'm getting all of my health care/vision/dental done right now. I heard that the Affordable Care Act has deadlines and that you won't be able to sign up for a plan until 2015? Also does that mean I'll be fined for no longer having insurance? I'm so confused.""

Are young adults covered under their parents health insurance till 26 under the new Obama law?

Is it true that the new Obama law states that children/young adults will receive health insurance coverage until they are 26 even if they are not in school, married, and living out of ...show more""

USAA auto-insurance discounts?

Does anyone out there have USAA for car insurance who ALSO has banking through USAA? I've been told by USAA that if I did have banking with them that I'd get a discount on auto insurance as well, but they can't tell me any specifics as to how much of a discount. If it's only gonna save 10 dollars or something I'm not gonna mess with it. Anyone out there able to tell me a decent estimate on how much I might save or how much they save?""

Whats the best motorcycle insurance in ottawa for an 18 year old?

Insurance for 250 Ninja?

I will be buying a new 2011 Kawasaki Ninja 250. I'm 18 yrs old. We will pay the bike in full..... How much will be my insurance on this bike? thanks

Columbus New Jersey Cheap car insurance quotes zip 8022

Where can I find the cheapest car Insurance in NJ?

I trying to find insurance that is not not less expensive does someone know where I can go to get this?

Can someone please explain deductibles and coinsurance for medical insurance to me?

I'm getting health insurance for the first time on my own, so I really don't know anything about it. I tried having the woman from the insurance company explain it, but it still makes no sense to me. If I have an annual deductible of $2,000/$4,000 and my out of pocket max is $4,000/$8,000 what does this mean? And my coinsurance is 20%?""

Car insurance so high?!?

I'm 17 and I've been looking at quotes for when I pass my driving test. I'm currently paying 1000.00 on provisional for a 1.3 Fiesta worth half that value.....The cheapest car insurance quote WITH pass plus too (which I plan to do) is 6,181.28. My car is worth 590 quid, I'm not a boy racer, and I don't stick pointless spoilers and all that shite on my car either. I used Compare the market for these quotes, is there anywhere else I can go to find quotes? also, is it illegal that I'm supplying false information, like saying I've passed my test etc. I'm only doing it to get a vague idea of how much lottery winnings I need to afford it....I mean who's stupid enough to pay 6 grand for a car worth a 10th of that.....""

How much average premium for Car insurance....?????

i need some basic info... about car insurance..in NJ STATE... record is clear and 3 years exp....need to know average range... Most of people paying.......

Co-op smartbox for young drivers?

I am 18 and considering going through the co-op box scheme for young drivers. Everything about it looks great (I've gone from quotes of 6000+ to 3000!) but there's one area that concerns me - I can't imagine I'll be confident enough driving any time soon to be a wreckless driver, but I intend to go on holiday around Scotland with my friends in the summer where I'll be driving for a long time. I was wondering whether this might affect my insurance premium. So for example if I drove around 5 hours a week, consistently, for a few months, and then went on a road trip and drove for 30 hours one week, would this raise my premium? I ask because on the quote page it asks for how long I'll be driving on a weekly basis. Do any current customers happen to know whether they care at all? Thank you in advance! :)""

Would my insurance rates go up if i switched banks?

I have USAA and we have our home insurance and both car insurance loans, checking and savings through them, but we want to switch just our checking and savings to a different bank, would that effect our insurance rates?""

What is an average auto insurance cost for a sedan in Alberta?

I am wondering what an average auto insurance cost is to be suspected. If this helps I will be a 16 year old male driving a 2007-2010 Mazda 3 Sedan.

What is a fixed indemnity health insurance plan?

i am looking at health insurance and have talked to someone about a fixed indemnity plan. Its all so confusing. Is this a bad risk?

Farmers Insurance problem when changed from CA to OR?

Hi, I've had insurance in CA for 2 years and moved to Oregon recently. I had my insurance tranferred with an useless Farmers Agent in OR. The thing is I already paid my 6 months premium in CA which is covered me until 06/2009. I paid nearly $450 for until 06/29. I've had quite a few discounts in CA but the jug-head agent in Oregon, not shifted any discounts to Oregon automatically. I got a bill for next 6 months from that agent saying that I have to pay $1000, since I haven't lived in Oregon for long enough. Jeez!!!. It's almost a $600 rise in my insurance that too I haven't had any claims or ticket in my last 5 years. I went to meet him in person but he told that's all he can do it. He didn't look my CA policy/discounts too. Then I told him, I can get $500 insurance anywhere else. But he challenges me if I could get something like that. I haven't approached any other insurers yet. Is it anything like insurance history or something like that maintained nationwide or in Oregon? Does he threaten me based on somre record? Can I get some decent insurance from someother insurers/agents? In CA I've never paid my 6 months permium more than $450. I'm the only driver for my car and the car is 8 years old. I've never claimed from any insurance till date. I neither had any speeding tickets elsewhere. Can I get some insurance for some decent rate If I shop around? My farmers insurance expects to pay the additional premium in a week else my policy with farmers expires. I dont want to meet someother farmers agents. I wanna get out of farmers and go with someone else. Can I get some decent insurance in a week?""

18 Year Old Sporty Car Insurance in Toronto?

Hi, I was wondering if anyone could tell me an approx. cost per year for an 18 year old to own a fairly sporty coupe from around 2009 living in a busy area of Toronto, ON. I know it will be really expensive, but I am planning on buying a car. Thanks! :)""

Who provides the best Renter's Insurance in California??? What is Renter's Insurance Anyway?

Hello... I am new to renter's insurance. Does anybody know a good website that I can do research??? Generally what does renter's insurance cover??? Thank you for your answers!!!

Question about car insurance.?

So I have a question, If I use my fathers car would he have to register his insurance on my name also? Or will it not matter since the cars registered in his name? Just in case anything happened. Just wondering.""

""Is it just me or when you start searching for online car insurance renewal quotes, a month before the date, do?

the quotes you get go up and up each day? I've got 5 days to go and the cheapest quote I am getting is 80 more than the cheapest quote I was getting at the start of October...is this usual?

How much would a private insurance agent make in Connecticut?

As in selling every company's insurance and working from home.

How much does Geico car insurance cost?

If you are stopped for an uninsured car does this affect yor insurance premiums?

I was stopped for an uninsured car and they towed it. Does this affect my insurance premiums? How much is the usual fine for uninsured,unregistered and invalid inspection sticker? I did not get a sticker when I registered it in my name. Are there any other issues I may have to deal with before I register again?""

Is there any way I can avoid paying car insurance for 2 months?

I'm going to the east coast and my car is just going to be sitting in my garage for 2 months. Is there any way I can avoid paying for insurance? I live in CA.

How much does liability insurance cost for auto in TX?

Car insurance for a new driver?

So I am doing my driving lessons and thinking of a car, I'm 19 and will be 20 when I pass and I have been looking at cheap 1L/1.1L cars to try and get cheap insurance and I have googled cheap cars to insure and checked them out yet the cheapest insurance I have seen is 4,500 and I was wondering if that sounds about right even for a 1L 206 worth 800 if not where should i look for insurance I tried go compare, money supermarket etc""

An insurance question.?

I have been with Farmers insurance Co. for over 20 years. I did some shopping around with Geico (only). They quoted me there identical coverage cost. It was almost $1,100. savings to me. Other than this great advantage...and my question(s) is/are... What would be my disadvantage (if any) if I go ahead now and switch to Geico? Are there hidden agendas that might hurt me by switching to them that I or most of the public do not know?""

How much will my idiot speeding ticket affect my insurance....?

I recently made a horrible choice to accelerate to 92 km and got a ticket for forty km over. Im with state farm in ontario and am wondering how much my insurance will rise consisering im a g2 driver. i currently pay 1800 a year and have.heard it will hit about 2600. Anybody have a knowledge of ths ? I need my car to commute to school and yesss i ****** up.. this is my first offence ever...

What does it cost to get registration and tag for a 1992 thunderbird? also insurance a month?

i am 18 years old and this is my first car...

Do I have to register my car and change my insurance if I am an out of state student in California?

My insurance company told me that I do not need to change my insurance since I am a student living outside of my home of record address. Now, I keep hearing that I need to register and smog test my car in California since I'm currently living there while attending school. If I do such a thing, does that not mean that I will have to change my insurance to California rates? I do not plan on residing in California post graduation, does this make a difference also? Someone please help....""

Do my parents need to inform our home insurance company about my uncles car?

My uncle is a car collector and for the past 15 years he has been keeping one of his vehicles in my parents garage. We're not sure whether he has insurance on that car. Are we required to inform our home insurance company of this fact? What if it turns out my uncle has insured the vehicle, would we still be required to?""

Does an expired MOT invalidate insurance when making a claim for my car stolen from a private driveway?

I had no idea that my mot had ran out, when my car was stolen from a private driveway (not on public road) My insurance say i was in breach of the policy. But where do i stand legally with the car being off road when stolen? The insurance quoted no payout if there's no mot when one is required by law! Is there a loophole i can use""

Columbus New Jersey Cheap car insurance quotes zip 8022

I have recently ordered a wind turbine. Any recommendations for insurance?

I ordered a use wind turbine from Germany. I was wondering if anyone had any experience doing this and where is a good place to get insurance. I found these guys through Google thoughts? http://www.northernalliance.co.uk/wind-turbine-insurance/

Home insurance Vs Common insurance in Condo's?

One of the listed property I am interested in has an assessment fee of 280 which includes common insurance,exterior mant,snow removal. What is this common insurance ? and do I need to still take home insurance personally ?""

Can you buy Insurance to cover accidental injury only?

My kids have no health Insurance. Can i buy an Insurance which can cover them only for accidental injury caused by fall or skate boarding?

Pay As You Go Insurance! Where can I get it? Cheap Insurance!

Hey people Basicly im insured with Admiral under third party fire and theft. Im doing their 10 month insurance thing which equates to 1 years insurance after the time. I was insured with them last year the price was 1090, this year its gone up to 1250 (had an accident which was my fault). Im paying monthly which has increased it to 1550. Im paying about 150 a month. My question is, where can i get cheap insurance from? Preferbably Pay as You go type. Has anyone done PAYG insurance before?""

Do you need car insurance to rent a car in Massachusetts?

I have insurance for my own car but will Hertz rental make me pay for their auto insurance? Can i just say I already have insurance even though I don't know if mine will cover me in case something happens? I have the least amount of coverage you can get in Mass and I use Commerce Insurance.

""What can i do? i am a 20yr old male, living in southern california with no job or insurance?""

i went to the hospital a couple days ago for chest pain, ended up being fine. i got the bill today for 15,000 dollars. like i said i have no insurance or job and currently living with a friend. i do side jobs to pay a little rent and for food. do i qualify for medi cal or CSM? i move from friend to friends house. parents live back in Illinois i have only a brother that lives out here. is their anything i can do to get this bill to go away? i also have no car or own anything of significant value.. no bank accounts.""

Can someone stay on there parents insurance until they are 26?

And do they still have to be in college.

Switching car Insurance companies?

With lower rates given by other insurance companies, wanting me to switch. What is the catch . My current company says watch out for hidden fees and their drop clause. . Is the coverage the same? May be dropped or hugh increase after a claim.Been with current co. more than 10 years. Looking to save some money.""

Which is the Best Health Insurance Policy available for Individuals in India?

So far I have learnt that LIC health plus is a pretty good policy. and http://sunilrams.blogspot.com has really given in detail the comparisons . Are there any better policies in the Indian Market for individuals.

Where can i get cheap car insurance?

Car insurance? Who is covered? Who is responsible?

Okay I had a question about car insurance... I am on my grandfather's car insurance plan- I live with my boyfriend. I believe I am the only one insured to drive the car....My boyfriend's mother and step-father don't have a car right now and often times ask to borrow my car- I've been letting them until it was brought to my attention that they may not be covered in that car? Does this mean I would be responsible for anything that happened? Or would they? If another car was at fault for the accident what would happen? Anyone know how this works?

I want to buy a moped in california?

I want to buy a moped under 50cc in california, and I am 15 with a drivers permit. Do i need a license to ride a moped under 50cc? Also, would i need insurance, or a license?""

Why is car insurance compulsory here in FL?

I own my car. The cheapest car insurance (only) cover $10k on damages which is called PIP insurance and it is required by law. If the PIP insurance only covers $10k on damages, and I have more than 10k dollars on my bank account why in helllllll do I have to give my hard-earned money to these moth*rfu(kers? Sorry for my temperament but I need a clear explanation or this. If I am willing to give those $10k to my car insurance which is the only that they cover on damages if I crashed, why wouldn't they accept the dial and stop charging me monthly in my whole life? and return me those 10K when I stop driving?""

Just a quick question about life insurance ?

My mom had two life insurance I think one was with her job & I found another with Hartford life insurance for sick pay. Do you get to have an beneficiary on a disability check or sick pay check?

Cheapest car insurance in houston tx?

hello i need to find auto insurance that i can afford, i was wondering do they have one thats under a 100 ? well can you list me places that have the cheapest auto insurance""

Which is a better career..A realtor or A insurance agent ??

what the average income of a insurance agent?? who makes more money??

What do I need to add to my auto insurance policy to be considered full coverage.?

I have a car with Calif min. pl and pd. If I were to add a new car what additional coverage and how much would be considered full coverage and satisfy the finance company?

2 speeding tickets in 1 days! USAA insurance. Help Please!?

Ok, so as the title says, i got 2 speeding tickets in 1 day. Yes that was stupid, i know. I am really worried. one is a $205 fine, the other $110 both for speeding 15 mph over. I think it is possible to get defensive driving with one of the tickets because my last ticket was around 2 years ago. Thats the other thing. 2 yrs ago i got in a wreck, my fault and a ticket too + defensive driving. so with all that taken into account. do you think i will get dropped from USAA insurance or how much do you think my rates will rise? Thanks for the help!""

How much would car insurance be for a 17 year old on a volkswagen golf 1.9 GTI?

like the min price?

""If I am under my mothers insurance, will it help me in the future when I branch off?""

I am thinking about putting my first car insurance under my mothers name, but in a couple years I want to start paying it on my own. Will the fact that I was under her name help me a little with my rate? Or will it not matter, and the insurance company will treat me as a new driver?""

How do I go about getting insurance at 18? In WI?

I'm 18. I work two jobs unfortunately with no insurance or benefits! How can I get health insurance? I live in Wi.

Who are the best insurance companies for young drivers?

Who are the best insurance companies (in terms of low prices) for young drivers?

How much would car insurance cost for me(2010 camaro)?

alright...I am finally getting my car this summer! im turning 17...and im thinking about what car im going to get...im pretty settled on a camaro 2lt or one of the ss's. I was just wondering how much insurance would cost for that...since im so young and its a brand new sprots car...are there some companys that would be a little cheaper or would all of them be pretty much the same?

How can I keep my car insurance policy if I sell my car?

Is there a way that I can keep my car insurance policy active for a low monthly payment if I sell my car and plan to buy another one next year? I don't want to cancel my policy due to all the goodies I get, so cancelling will make me a new customer when I try to get insurance again. Has anyone experienced this situation before? Thanks.""

Can i getmy licence removed and get my vehicle inspected and get my car insurance on the same day?

ok here is the dilemma im a marine stationed at camp lejuene and im going back to new york in a few days. i need to get my license and my registration, inspection and car insurance in a few days(like 3)will my license go right into the system so i can go call my insurance company (usaa) and get insurance on it the same day then go back to the DVM and get the car registration. thxs kinda freaking bout this""

Columbus New Jersey Cheap car insurance quotes zip 8022

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/kentucky-teachers-health-insurance-2015-christopher-anderson/"

0 notes

tsekooh · 8 years

Text

bet yall want yet ANOTHER post with 150 things about yours truly!!! buckle up!!!!!!!

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

hghgkjhjsjkhkjsdghjkgs

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

shy!!! but i can be really outgoing i think? if i have One thing i want to work towards i will do it (college doesnt count shhshhshs)

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

MEG!!! HOLY SHIT I CANT WAIT TO SEE HER

4. Are you easy to get along with?

i.. hope so!! i dont hate anyone

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

she’d do her best for being in australia

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

do i.......have a type?

all my friends are gay

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

OF COURSE

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

i only have like 2 o/g friends so i thought abt jace right away

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

only if serious/about real ppl or me

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

meg LOL

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“SARCASM IS KEY i would know im the sarcasm queen”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

eeeehhh

-shelter / porter robinson

-honey / magic man

-find a way / safetysuit

-collect call / metric

-wildfire / marianas trench

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

ABSOLUTELY

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

YES BC I HAVE ONE RIGHT HERE (picks up meg)

15. What good thing happened this summer?

i saw rina!!!! i love them ;;

and i met meg after that!!

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

yes

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

LMAO NO i thought i was straight

but if we’re talking abt an actual crush then ... rarely?

19. Do you like bubble baths?

yes!!

20. Do you like your neighbors?

dont know them

21. What are you bad habits?

nail biting

22. Where would you like to travel?

australia...

japan w meg ccoUGH

23. Do you have trust issues?

EHHHHHHHH only w ppl i have a reason not to trust?

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

saying good morning to meg

playing games!! drawing!! talking 2 people

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

stomach

26. What do you do when you wake up?

-turn alarm off and brightness down bc its 11pm and fucking blinds me

-skim notifications to make a mental note of who i need 2 reply 2

-unlock phone and say good morning to meg

-shower / eat

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

my skin tone is so awkward....its hard 2 say cause anything doesnt match my hair

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

meg/jace/toby/ren

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

i dont have like...........any real exes LOL

30. Do you ever want to get married?

LMAO I CANT IMAGINE IT only bc if i introduced my wife 2 someone i would literally say “this is my girlfriend- i mean wife”

idc abt marriage like id be down but its not like........Essential 2 a rs

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

yep

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

sasuke

33. Spell your name with your chin.

im too lazy to move my head

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

im exercise my stress level in splatoon

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

yep

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

nothingsfhdsghjk

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

shes cute and plays video games with me and she loves me and never lets me forget that also her name is meg

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

i love. target.

40. What do you want to do after high school?

LMAO so ive been out of school for a year so... i did want to go to college bt my mom wont let me so im just gonna move countries

Bye Bich

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

yes..........at least if the harm was done to me.....

unless ur my mom/step dad/dad

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

im dissociating/have nothing 2 say

43. Do you smile at strangers?

i try not to look at ppl

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

OCEAN

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

meg

46. What are you paranoid about?

47. Have you ever been high?

barely secondhand

48. Have you ever been drunk?

L O L

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

i have no secrets

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

green

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

sometimes but then i think i might be straight and im happy w who i am

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

my disgusting social skills

53. Favourite makeup brand?

eyeliner idc abt brand

54. Favourite store?

amiami .. or target

55. Favourite blog?

softsuke is like my fave mutual theyre p chill

56. Favourite colour?

PINK

57. Favourite food?

SPAGHETTI or chicken

58. Last thing you ate?

...spaghetti

59. First thing you ate this morning?

.........spaghetti

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

i never win

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

nope tho im surprised

62. Been arrested? For what?

nope!

63. Ever been in love?

yeah... (looks @ meg) (coughs)

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

idr i think it was spin the bottle and i kissed 2 people and i was like 16?

anyway that was my first and last HGJKSGHDUIFJAL

65. Are you hungry right now?

nah

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

all my friends r my real friends

67. Facebook or Twitter?

twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

both

69. Are you watching tv right now?

nope

70. Names of your bestfriends?

meg / jace / laura / ren / toby / rina

71. Craving something? What?

2 be w meg gggghhj

72. What colour are your towels?

orange!

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

2/3 maybe 4

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

yea

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

AT LEAST 40

75. Favourite animal?

HYENA

76. What colour is your underwear?

pink

dont say anything

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

vanilla

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

.........vanilla

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

green jacket

80. What colour pants?

pink plaid pj pants (so rn i look like a fucking disaster)

81. Favourite tv show?

NARUTO

82. Favourite movie?

mmmm... the road to eldorado!

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

mean girls

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

never watched 21js

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

i lov the goth girl and the gay guy i forget names

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

dory

87. First person you talked to today?

meg

88. Last person you talked to today?

meg

89. Name a person you hate?

mom

90. Name a person you love?

meg

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

mom

92. In a fight with someone?

nope

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

idk LOL

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

A LOT

95. Last movie you watched?

UHH.. digimon movie i think?

96. Favourite actress?

emma watson is sooooooooooooooooooooo pretty

97. Favourite actor?

idk (spins a wheel) chris pratt

98. Do you tan a lot?

never

99. Have any pets?

my gma has a bunch of cats

100. How are you feeling?

TIRED I REGRET DOING THIS

101. Do you type fast?

NOT FAST ENOUGH

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

LOL YEAH

103. Can you spell well?

most of the time

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

i burned a wacom tablet once

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

i hope not

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

yes

108. What should you be doing?

uhhh... nothing that i know of

109. Is something irritating you right now?

nope

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

haaehuhsghsu

111. Do you have trust issues?

I ALREADY ANSWERED THIS

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

grandma/sister one of the two

.......DAMN THAT WAS RLY LONG AGO

113. What was your childhood nickname?

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yes

115. Do you play the Wii?

SPLATOON BABY

116. Are you listening to music right now?

im listening to shiny rn.......from moana......(quiet cough)

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

118. Do you like Chinese food?

ehh

119. Favourite book?

my name is riley, im 19, and i dont know how to fucking read

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

not if i know where i am

121. Are you mean?

i hope not

122. Is cheating ever okay?

stop

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

shrugs

125. Do you believe in true love?

YES

126. Are you currently bored?

lil bit

127. What makes you happy?

meg and all my friends i love u all

and games

128. Would you change your name?

legally, yes,

im working on that

129. What your zodiac sign?

capricorn

130. Do you like subway?

not rly but sometimes i crave it for some stupid reason

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

THIS WOULDNT HAPPEN

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

ALREADY ANSWERED THIS

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

my brain cannot process this question right now

134. Can you count to one million?

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

fk if i know

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

CLOSED

137. How tall are you?

5′4′’

138. Curly or Straight hair?

straight

139. Brunette or Blonde?

brunette

140. Summer or Winter?

winter

141. Night or Day?

night

142. Favourite month?

december

143. Are you a vegetarian?

semi

the only meat i eat is poultry

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk

145. Tea or Coffee?

coffee

146. Was today a good day?

so far!! yea

147. Mars or Snickers?

neither

148. What’s your favourite quote?

dont look back youre not going that way

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

lil bit

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

NO FK THAT IM DONE BYE

#quiz thing #if u actually read these holy shit kudos

0 notes

survivormarmoreal · 6 years

Text

Episode #9: "we're here for the messy bitch game play right" - Annabelle

Tribal was f*ckin wild. Like didnt see that coming and Nicole we literally never talked so dont come for me. 👏

So far Nicole’s attempt hasnt affected anything. And plus Sharky took more of the heat and more blood on his hand and I did for coming up with the Nicole vote. Like im scream team to the end but like it works better for me if people dont see me as a huge threat right now unlike Sharky. I think i might be in a good spot and with an advatage with this immunity hopefully i can win.

Well... I refuse to be booboo the fool right now. I have conflicting information currently about who voted me so guess what? I am not gonna trust anyone LMAO. Everyone is denying and pointing the fingers at others and its fucking pissing me off. Like just own up to voting me so i can have a clear target my fucking god. Like goodbye see you soon!

from my confessional cause i just went off in it LOL about the last tribal: i know brian and sharky did not vote me nate and bryce are being fishy maynor seems non exsistant keaton is literally opening his big mouth and getting himself in more trouble i trust anna enough and nick thinks he is "iconic" for an idol play like boi con-fucking-gratulations that you can do something many have done before you

Like, im so done with these people, just let me play my idol in peace smh

So I basically threw this challenge. I just put myself for most of the positives and I put Keaton for most of the negatives. With a few random answers sprinkled in. I get so nervous about really trying on Touchy Subjects because Im worried about revealing my alliances and stuff. This way I just look cocky. And Keaton and I are already on bad terms so me putting him for the negatives might piss him off but probably not anyone else. Ugh

ok so me snapping and voting matt is really annoying KJFHDSAKJFDHS idk why i did that! i was crazy back then... so current thinking is that me/matt/keaton voted matt. and then nicole did keaton and everyone else did nicole. i dont think anyone suspects me but like they woudlnt tell me if they do FJKASDHFKJ apparently matt thinks that nathan did it and anna thinks that it was keaton and maynor and im just like :| FSAJDHFKD. also this comp is about to ruin me like my answers are def gonna make ppl hate me and plus i wrote myself for some good ones which i never do but idk im just really feeling myself so cant wait for the crushing weight of reality to knock me down a peg or two when i get like "next voted out" "doesnt deserve to be here" AFJKSDFHKAJ but maybe not... anyways i recently got obsessed with shakira again like.. im thriving

youtube

https://i.imgur.com/5o6sz3j.png when i tell u i screamed JKDFASHKJAD

Okay so Touchy Subjects ALWAYS blows up my game. Like I got all the ones that make people target you. Running the Game. Biggest Snake. Physical Threat. I even somehow managed to get "Trust the Most" and "Best Liar". HOW!? And now I'm super worried because if I wasn't on everybody's radar before I sure am now. And I have no idea who I can trust after those rogue Matt votes. I even feel slightly sketched out by Nick. He's acting...weird. And he keeps telling everyone there is a war between me and Keaton. Which I guess is sort of true because Keaton is throwing my name out there. And obviously I would rather him go.

everyone is so extra JKDAHSKFJ matt making a post about how the ppl who are lying and saying they didnt vote him are personally effecting him are terrible like.. ok sorry for not exposing myself get over it u got 3 votes one of which were ur own and maybe if u were more active and didnt reply with one word responses no matter how hard i tried to get u to speak i wouldnt have thrown the vote on u. im just like so over his entitledness that ppl confess to him like who do u think u are KJFHADKJFDH. i feel like maybe im being too mean so if matt reads this after the game im sure ur just in ur feelings or w/e and u did say u had personal stuff going on but like thats not an excuse to go on tirades in the tribe chat when no one but u cares.

keaton is the worst person ive ever met (and i know zach :s) weird of him to choose white ppl saying the n word as his hill to die on but um i got the cannon ready to aim and hes going :airplane: to jury.

OK, so basically Annabelle wins immunity! Good for her, but she's literally not doing enough for me to feel beyond happy for her kjHD... like she's nice and I like her, but at the end of the day, I really don't think she's doing much to propel herself and she's just getting kinda lucky... considering the first and now second immunity have been somewhat luck based... ya....

Keaton's the name being thrown into the mix already (it's only 9:11pm), and I really am fine with that this time around! I like him, but I think he's just someone who can easily go now and it not be bad for me in the future. He's already thrown out Sharky's name and basically called out Sharky to his face, so I'm kinda shaking in my booties. As long as it ain't me, I'm happy enough to listen, but I just don't want any big surprises like the Matt votes, again.

Sharky has been thrown out as the biggest threat in this game right now, and while I think it's very apparent to everyone, I can't have him going anywhere right now. No fucking way. I love the shark man. He's my favorite... he cannot go anywhere... I need him!! So buh-fucking-bye, Keaton! I may like you, but it's not enough to keep you.

Keaton is trash.

Let me elaborate on my previous confessional. So first Keaton tries to call me out for mentioning his name which I didn't do (I did admit to it to save the drama so thats partially on me) but he tries to call me out in public after the vote. Gross. Then after the challenge he starts gunning for me hard. He wants to claim I was doing the same but I wasn't gunning for him very hard. Because i didn't care if he went. He wasn't an ally but he wasn't a threat either. until he started trying to tear me down. Also let's be clear this all started because EVERYONE thinks he's rude and annoying. Then he tries to come for me in pms calling me out for spreading lies. Which again I NEVER DID. So I straightened him out on that. Then he tries to do the "If I don’t get you out now I never will and then we all lose." which is BULLSHIT. Don't get mad and angry with me just because I'm playing better than you. CHILDISH. Then in the tribe chat he says "As a player he can burn. As a person he's enjoyable." IS HE TRYING TO MAKE ME HATE HIM!? First of saying I can burn makes me want to really drag him. Also bro you and i don't talk you don't know shit about me as a person. You did that just to feed this "Feud" thats going on. STFU. Bye. Whichever one of us goes I'm glad I won't have to talk to his KIRBY LOOKING ASS anymore. I wish Marie had stayed.

Okay I can't lie I'm super nervous about this vote. I just don't trust anyone. I'm talking to Annabelle now and was like "I'm down to vote for anybody" because I'm not sure where she's at and I want her to know I am a vote for her.

Well. Good thing is that i wasnt dragged with with what Nicole said which is good with me. I didnt get any touchy subject which is also great. My two best allies Sharky and Keaton both did which means they’ll be targeted before I do. Which is awesome. Me and Nathan dont want to see Keaton go so we got Annabell and Bryce to be with us for a 5 person voting block thats going after Matt. Thats right, Matt is going home. Keaton plan was to try and distract Sharky and fight with him and have both of their names on the chopping block. This means that Matt wont see this blindside happening. And if Sharky has an idol, he’ll waste it cuz he won’t be getting any votes. Its gonna sbe wild af. Be ready.

Its been very quiet this morning. The plan has been set so im hoping that nothing else shatters the plan. The idol search doesnt like me as it likes Nick. Only thing i found was an advantage for next immunity which was an extra point butnit was touchy subject so i kinda threw it cuz said my name for the ones i felt where really bad. And i want to give a shout out for host Drew. You are an amazing and cool person.

OK, so Nathan has been going behind me and Sharky's back to target Matt... and I'm just shook to my fucking core.... bless Annabelle's big heart for telling Sharky because it gave us some room to snap hard. I know Matt has an idol, and I cannot wait for him to pull it out at tribal. I think that Nathan is thinking very short term and thinking him not telling me and Sharky is just some move he can make on his own, but as the Touchy Subjects' results showed us, Nathan thinks he's running the game but Sharky is actually doing it. Getting this info... what a fucking legend...

Annabelle doesn't want to be screwed because of this whole situation so Sharky wants to avoid voting Nathan out but I lowkey don't care. Nathan keeping me out of the conversation makes me lose all trust in him. I know I'm not the target, but it doesn't change the fact that he's trying to run the game behind my back. It's not going to work, sir. It won't.

Ok... I'm angry, but I'm going to have to control that anger and turn it into making the best decision for my game and that will be to work with Matt and Sharky till the end.

Brace yourself this is going to be a LONG ONE. So last night I basically went to Anna and tried to save my ass because I really haven't been sure how genuine our alliance was because of our history together. She basically kept saying she was in a tough spot and this and that and so I outright asked her if she was considering voting for me. And she was like absolutely not. Which is such a relief. HOWEVER! She confesses that Nathan has created a secret plan to vote out Matt. He specifically told everyone not to tell me and Brian about it. EXCUSE ME? Aren't we in an alliance dude? So thats really pisses me off. But supposedly they have the majority for this plan. So that means I don't have to worry about myself as much. But I don't want Matt to go. Especially after this proved that he's one of the only ones I trust. So I'm thinking out of 9 votes we have 3 we can maybe use the steal a vote or something to try and get a majority. CUT TO THIS MORNING. I tell Brian about this secret plan and Brian tells me Matt has a freakin idol!!! So now we can use his idol and even if there are 5 votes left Matt/Brian/Myself control that vote then. Now the tough part...I need the vote to stay on Keaton because if it goes to anybody else Anna is going to think I screwed her over. And I promised her that her telling me wouldn't bite her in the ass. I also need this to stay TOP SECRET because if anyone finds out I leaked the plan they are going to come after me and I love Matt but I don't want to destroy my game to save him. So we need to have Matt use his idol and all 3 of us need to vote for Keaton.

God these people. I am VERY sure I am getting votes tonight and it's ok. Why? Cause I have an idol fuck these cunts. If not the WOOO love a minority!

i'm playing a super dangerous game right now but it's ok hopefully it works out we're here for the messy bitch game play right and i also just like play better in chaos so let's keep it that way once the game gets boring people will think of me.

youtube

Y'all I'm feeling real shitty about this week. I still feel super in danger. i feel like everyone is lying to my face. But I'm also worried for Matt. Luckily he has an idol so he'll be safe but the fact that he's catching votes at all is concerning. I hope it's Keaton going out but you just truly never know. This could be my time.

So it seems Matt might be an option for the vote but the questions I have are: Do I trust Matt enough to tell him he’s getting votes? Am I willing to make an early move? How will this will effect me moving forward? And when thinking between Keaton and Matt... I think I know my decision…

The shit hit the fan. Somehow Nick knows the hidden real plan that it was going to be Matt tonight. Keaton keeps lying to Bryce that he’s doing Sharky but Bryce is the number we have to have majority over Matt. Keaton is being sketchy kinda. Hopefully the plan goes according and Matt goes because last time he was doing a witch hunt for those 2 votes. Im going to be drinking at tribal tonight. Shit is too stressful.

Keaton is idoled out in a 6-3 vote.

#episode #allmadhere

0 notes