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#then ur all ‘self care’. fuck u
the-broken-pen · 8 months
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“You’re going to blow out your arms,” the villain observed. They watched as the hero merely grit their teeth, shoving themself through another pull-up. It looked painful, and if the sweat slicking the hero’s brow was any indication, it was.
They waited for the hero to let themself drop from the bar and accept the villain was stronger. But they didn’t.
Three more pull-ups, and the villain stepped in.
“Hero,” they said slowly. “You’re about to tear the ligaments in your arms. You need to stop.”
The hero blew out a shuddering breath. Struggled for purchase, fighting gravity—and let themself drop.
The hero’s hands were bleeding, calluses torn open by the bar. The hero didn’t seem bothered when their own hands shook so much that their blood began to splatter on the gym floor.
For a moment, the villain could only stare at them.
Shit.
They didn’t know how to handle this. They knew the hero was dedicated. They knew the hero was strong, and perpetually trying to be stronger, but they hadn’t thought…
They hadn’t thought the hero would be so willing to tear apart their own body for success.
It was supposed to be fun, the villain thought. They felt a little sick as the hero pressed their palms together to soothe the bleeding, an action that was practiced and familiar. As if they had done this before.
The hero reached for something in their bag, smearing blood on the side, and pulled out a roll of blue electrical tape. The villain didn’t understand why, until the hero tore a strip off and made to wrap their hands with it.
The hero would be the death of them.
They crouched in front of the hero, plucking the electrical tape out of their hands.
“What are you doing with this?”
The hero blinked at the villain like they were the strange one in this situation.
“Wrapping my hands?”
The villain hissed in a breath.
“With electrical tape?”
The hero flushed slightly, looking down at their bloody hands. They looked close to tears.
“It…sticks to skin, really well. And it doesn’t move, either, when you move your hands or wherever else, even if you’re fighting. Plus, blood doesn’t make it come off, at least, not for a while.”
The villain blinked at them.”
“Blood doesn’t make it come off,” the villain repeated, processing. The hero nodded, reaching for the electrical tape. The villain settled it out of reach.
“Not if you wrap it right.”
Dimly, the villain realized that meant the hero had done this enough times to have it down to a science.
“And you couldn’t use a bandaid?” The villain asked incredulously. The hero shrugged a shoulder, then winced at the motion.
Yeah, the hero had absolutely blown out their arms.
“Bandaids move—“
The villain hushed them.
“Be quiet for a second.”
The hero, wisely, went quiet.
The villain rubbed a hand over their face, then studied the hero for a moment. They took one of the hero’s hands into their own, studying the damage.
“Why did you do this to yourself,” the villain murmured.
“What do you mean, why,” the hero snapped. “It’s my job.”
“Your job is to save people,” the villain corrected. “Not destroy yourself.”
“I’m not destroying myself—“
“You are.”
“Shut up—“
“Hero.”
“I need to be better,” the hero snapped. Their voice rang out across the gym, echoing into the rafters, and they both froze. After a moment, the hero spoke again, voice soft. “I need to be better.”
They said it like they needed the villain to understand. The villain wondered who they were really saying it to—the villain, or themself.
“Better than who?”
“Everyone.” It was hushed, like a secret.
The villain watched them, waiting.
The hero took a shaky breath
“My whole thing is being the best. I have always been the best. That’s the only reason I matter. If I’m not strong enough, then I am nothing, so I need. to be. better.”
The hero had started crying, very quietly, like they were afraid to take up too much space.
The villain was not equipped to handle gifted kid burnout.
“There’s more to you than just being a good athlete,” the villain said hesitantly, and the hero shook their head.
“No. There isn’t.”
“Hero.”
“Can you give me back my electrical tape?” They hiccuped to contain a sob.
“No,” the villain said firmly, and then the hero really was sobbing.
“You don’t understand—“
The villain didn’t. Not really. They had never been the kind of talented that the hero was.
They wondered now if maybe that was a blessing.
“I don’t,” the villain agreed. “But I do understand that you’ve saved half the city, and you give everything you have to give, and you always do your best.”
“But I-“
“No.” The villain stopped them. “You are doing your best.” They tipped the hero’s chin up until they met the villain’s eyes. “And it is enough.”
The hero froze, eyes darting over the villain’s face. They wondered if anyone had ever said that to the hero, if whatever mentor they had was giving them anything other than orders to be stronger. Be better. Be more.
The villain had some new targets to take care of, it would seem.
For now, though, they had to take care of hero.
“We’re going to go wrap your hands,” they said softly. “And then we’re going to take care of your arms, and you’re going to take a nap.”
The hero nodded, watching them like they were some kind of good, selfless person.
“And if I ever catch you using electrical tape again, so help me, I will put you six feet under.”
That startled a laugh out of the hero, and they let the villain guide them to their feet.
“Fine.”
The villain turned to them. “Okay?”
Are you going to be alright?
The hero seemed to understand.
“Okay,” the hero agreed.
Yes.
And so, it was.
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benetnvsch · 1 year
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Idk if they don’t at least hug when they see each other again I may leave the fandom for real this time
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autistic-katara · 6 months
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there r fics that make u insane (so amazingly good it’s removed ur sanity) and then there’s fics that make u insane (you need to fistfight the author for how they did a specific thing that caused u to rant for hours)
#i know i just posted that other thing but ffs that is NOT how u handle someone in that situation everyone involved made everything 10x worse#yet it’s being treated like the right thing to do (which again ofc they’re cops they don’t understand harm reduction but still) like#seriously everything’s so forceful like u seriously think forcing ur friend to talk to u or forcing a patient to talk to a therapist under#the threat of being admitted to a psychiatric hospital is gonna make her feel comfortable talking to u? or anyone? she’s just gonna trust u#less and get better at hiding it and speaking of which the taking away all sharp objects thing makes sense in theory but like think abt it#for a minute she confirmed she isn’t suicidal and this is her only way of coping so do not just forcibly take away all her coping mechanism#like yes she is hurting herself but it’s a COPING MECHANISM. she’s coping with something. help her with that don’t just take away her penci#sharpers or whatever (which btw since she’s an adult she could easily buy more stuff and yk learn to hide it better) which again has to be#voluntary it isn’t gonna work if u force someone to do smthn they don’t want to like as ur friend u could’ve made it clear u care abt her#and wouldn’t judge her for anything and r here if she wants to talk don’t just say “you have to talk to me” and casually threaten#hospitalisation when she isn’t ready in the moment like seriously if this wasn’t a badly written fanfic she would completely stop trusting#bcz given that this wasn’t even done out of panic i would like ffs u are NOT doing any of this right#oops sorry ranted abt the bad fic in my tags-#it’s not where the author’ll see it and know it’s about them i don’t feel bad abt it#this was my first time even looking at stuff for this fandom so#cw self harm in tags#idk if i need to tag anything else for that 😭#fanfic#ao3#ryan shut the fuck up
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itsjaywalkers · 1 year
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the most unrealistic thing about the overprotective james series is that james is so popular with girls and always dating despite being completely obsessed with regulus . like wdym this idiot gets bitches??? his gf asks his opinion on her new jacket and james tells her how well it'd suit regulus, she shows him this new eyeshadow she bought and james can only think about how it's the exact shade of regulus' eyes, she wants him to come over and "sure babe but can regulus come too?"
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bongjuiceconcentrate · 2 months
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also last post i’m gonna make about this but any non marginalized person trying desperately to paint themselves as “one of the good ones” is definitely never one of the good ones
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yonpote · 8 months
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I love ur blog and I’d be sad if u left. But if you need to ofc but just wanted to say that I appreciate you in the space !
thanks, its just making me really miserable right now to want to post all of my ideas even ones that i know would be a little controversial or whatever thinking this is a safe space where i could do so but it turns out its fuckin not it sucks
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toastsnaffler · 2 months
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was gonna say smth else but this turned into a vent sorry everyone just ignore. typical weekend post on this blog u know how it is here we go👍
#wild ik so many ppl getting married meanwhile im over here struggling to convince myself my friends even care abt me or want me around#pathetic to admit but i cant even fantasise abt someone loving me bc im too insecure n emotionally unstable#my mind just shoots the idea down like whoa. unrealistic. ur incapable of expressing or receiving affection in any way that matters#no matter how badly u want to... and even if someone did well u wouldnt believe them most of the time#gotta get out of the fucking labyrinth first i couldnt inflict this shit on anyone i cared abt#but it makes me so desperately sad sometimes i dont know how im ever going to get out of this ive been trying for years and years#and im a little better at it snd i dont feel like this all of the time i know it just comes around and itll pass again#but im tired of being in so much emotional pain so frequently. and shouldering it so alone. theres such a disconnect between myself and#others and i dont know how to bridge that i don't know how to stop feeling so isolated and unwanted !!!!!! im trying so hard#it doesnt even bother me w relative strangers in my life like i dont get insecure at all around them i like meeting new ppl#bc theres like. no expectations i guess. like ik they dont care abt me personally and idk them well enough to do that either#and its fun but it doesnt satisfy needs that i have like i need to feel close + connected to ppl i need to care abt them + feel cared for#but as soon as i do start to care abt ppl it gets all tangled and i end up getting rly badly hurt over and over. thru no fault but my own#bc im constantly alienating myself and bc i struggle so much w shit like physical affection which is frustratingly rly critical for me!!!!#it wouldnt fucking matter if i didnt like or want affection ik some ppl are fine without i wish it worked like that for me#but nope instead i have to be constantly messed up over my complete fucking inability to express myself in any form#and ik it makes everyone around me so uncomfortable so it just becomes self reinforcing and eventually they drift and leave me behind#and i just do that over and over and over and every time ill tell myself ill do better ill try harder and itll get easier and someone will#and it happens again and right now im at the stage where the abandonment fear is starting to kick in which is awful n paralysing#and usually a precursor to actually being abandoned ehich is always my own fault bc i start behaving so erratically out of fear or defense#its self fulfilling and im trying. im trying so hard not to let it overwhelm me again and not to start acting out and freaking ppl out#and im coping with it okay i think but just hurts me a lot its all internal my rejection sensitivity is gradually ticking up and up#and argh!!!!!!!!! and some days im okay and some days its like this and i dont know what todo when its like this im so tired and in pain#its not even that bad today tbf. once im done typing this to get it out ill be able to do smth else and distract mysrlf for a bit#and then calling friends later too so exposure therapy innit. but itll be fun and i love them but i will probably also feel very bad after#or even possibly during but thats okay ill still manage fine im not going to let it interfere i dont want it controlling my fucking life#i am going to have a nice time and be okay despite it all. even if i do have to fucking battle this every day forever#and even if it stops me living my life to the extent i want and feeling as ok as i want i just have to come to terms with and be ok w it#and im not going to be!!! a fucking asshole abt it!!! i dont want to hurt anyone else thats the most important thing no matter how i feel#thr rest is all secondary and ik i cant help a few little bumps here and there but trying hardest to keep it separate its not negotiable
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spotsupstuff · 1 year
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ur grading people and if they get an f theyre blocked? my main you aint a kindergarten teacher this is a microblogging platform
yeah, that's why there's that function called blocking! :) cuz this is a microblogging site! that's what microblogging platforms have! :) so you don't have to put up with people's shit! :) interesting that kindergarten teachers where you live are capable of blocking people in real life, hope you had fun with that
#spot says stuff#this is the INTERNET You are the one who curates your own fucking experience and if i dont like someones vibes or what theyre saying to me-#-they are going to get blocked! ''grading'' people??? its called judging people and having set boundaries and self respect#im not here to conform to strangers tastes n the need to Watch Me i dont care about that more than i care about myself#i am not a ''content creator'' i am not someone with some power like a ''kindergarten teacher'' i am a stranger to All of you and-#-just another tumblr user and i dont owe you fucking anything just like nobody Here owes me anything besides base respect#n base respect includes watching what you say to people. i dont have to put up with strangers faults. im holding everyone here accountable-#-for their actions and words because i believe that you are capable of being a good considerate human person n acting sensibly#what would happen if i blocked a person on Tumblr Dot Com. the goddamn apocalypse? please. blocking isnt controlling people around you-#-its Boundaries. you can get over some random bitch blocking you on the internet. its not my responsibility if someone decides that their-#-entire emotional wellbeing depends on a *Stranger*#i have P@NSEAR blocked cuz i just Dont like their content. if someone ''gets an F'' from me for behaviour then MAYBE theres a REASON?#''ur grading people'' goddammit man who Isnt judging the people around them and the interaction they have with them#HOW many times ive said ''feel free to block me!'' in a positive way cuz of smth as small as a too gorey design. what do u think-#-blocking is ysee??? ''you are acting entitled'' because i AM! i AM entitled to having a good comfortable experience on the INTERNET#just like ANY OF YOU. please anon! you dont like my way of treating myself on the Internet do just that! block me! i wont throw a fuss??#if Anyone here doesnt like the smallest aspect of me judge me. i invite you to. judge me and if that aspect is too loud for you Block me#to get along with this anons absolutely correct n in place anecdote: Grade Me. give me an F. boot me from the school whatever That means#keep yourself safe and make your experience on the internet comfortable#i cant tell if youre one of those dumb anon askers who r just lookin for attention or fight Or a reasonable person but heres my look at it#entertain it before you disregard it. got me pissed off from the moment i wake up u dont even know bout my whole blockin system dear god
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shopcat · 7 months
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did i seriously not just talk about freaks dropping the r slur because they think it's funny like. not even 3 days ago. like i'm sorry why did i just had to block a longtime mutual for that ... 4chan wannabe fucking rejects 😭😭 its so insidious atp like i feel gross ..
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byanyan · 8 months
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in hindsight, giving byan's little sister a name that matches theirs (hwa-young to their yeong-hwan) was kind of fucked up when they were the one who didn't get to stay with the family after she was born...
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agayconcept · 8 months
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#gotta love (heavy sarcasm) my mother gwtting angry when i apply thru disability for help cleaning the apartment#bc she flat out refuses to do so and its massively inaccessible to the point where i cant exist in it#and she views me finally caving and applying for help as me 'tattling' / 'reporting' her for being a shit person#(which lets be clear- i wont comment on but uh. she does Suck w this stuff. she's the most self-serving person i've ever met)#rather than me just. uhm trying to exist#as a disabled person#without injuring myself constantly due to accessibility issues#like#how did i get here#what tf is going on in her brain#to be Extremely Clear: we have been having this discussion for 2+ years on a monthly basis#she Refuses to lift a finger and regularly makes the living space less accessible out of simply not giving a fuck#or something akin to laziness but i dont wanna use that word bc i dont think its entirely that simple#regardless of it all tho#how can u be angry at ur disabled child for trying to get extra help to accomplish something u have not been capable of / willing to do#thats what the damn service is for bro#why r we having this discussion#its buck wild#*getting#(no i wont go back and fix my typos. dont care)#like fr. how did i get here#what even. u Refuse to do anything. and now ur mad i applied thru my disability rights to get outside assistance ???#she seemed Livid that i implied she doesnt care#honey i dont have to imply it i Know it#dont get mad when u get called out for not giving a shit dude#it happens#get over it#so sorry ur disabled 20-something yr old child has rights and knows how to use em#sucks to suck i guess ???#like. what other response do u want from me
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You little bitch. Stfu I saw the posts in which you shared hate about julian. We all know you'd be banned by now if it were another character. BUT NOOOO nobody be protecting julian and so you say all that bs. I hope you have a great time in hell. Actually, on a second thought, I hope you suffer for enternity. Even that is not enough for y'all filth bags. This is for every julian hater in existence not just you. Sending pain ❤️
✨Fuck Julian Atticus Blackthorn✨
Oh and it's E T E R N I T Y I see you can't spell
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jrueships · 2 years
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IHATE men REAL
#random vent but SPECIFICALLY Those kind of very Traditional christian men who think all the opinions they say ever#are automically Right and therefore Virtuous because one word in the bible fit into that self-important narrative#like they spot a Random Woman and be like 'ah yes. my time to mansplain what her place and actions should be according to Da Bible#written in. the oonga boonga where slaves were hashtag awesome if u were just hashtag awesome 2 them#yes surely there is no context omitted or need to be taken into account here when i apply Past Marginalized to The Modern Marginalized#like CAN U JUST BE NORMAL!!!! FOR FIVE FUCKING SECONDS!!!!#mfer it is. 7pm. in a cafe with Sticky Tables#ANYWAYS i know the pick me girl hate is understandable but can we also talk abt the factors that play into itt like!!#'Good Christian Men Good Husband Good Future' men LOVE to talk about Their 'Appreciation' of a 'Modest Woman'#bring out random bible verse number 1million and make it play into their argument now abt nowtimes#that the Good woman the 'humble' woman shouldnt wear makeup or whatever IDK?????#BUT THEN THE SAME FUCKIN GUY THE SAME FUCKIN DAY INSULTED A GIRL FOR NOT WEARING ANY MAKEUP SAYING#'she looks like she doesnt take care of herself' mfer is she still BREATHING???? MIND UR FUCKIN BUSINESS!!!#mind ur BUSINESS with the MAKEUP mind ur BUSINESS with the WOMEN just mind ur FUCKIN business SHUT THE SHITUP!!!!#and they expect me to agree like i know im asexual but that doesnt mean i always wanna converse with someone who gets none#leave me. alone 😑#AND LEAVE THOSE FUCKIN WOMEN ALONE!!!!!! not cus im a 'woman protector' oo let me hold ur drink maam#it's literally just. the act of. being a Normal Person going about your Normal Day minding your NORMAL FUCKIN BUSINESS!!!#anyways back to my rehab session (mental)
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futurefind · 1 year
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//Blade trailer's dropping reminded me of how he and Sasume are legally barred from meeting (and then some).
'oh bc hero v villain--' no bc they're both the epitome of the Destruction path (threat) and also feral bastards who WILL just hunt each other for sport, nearly die, then come back swinging same time next week.
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orcelito · 1 year
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as someone with insomnia whose brain runs a mile a minute at all hours of the day every day always it's often hard for me to remember that i need sleep like everyone else does. like i see mentions of people sleeping and im like "lol couldnt be me" then i remember that i too must go unconscious every night, ideally for at least 8 hours a night, every single day, ad infinitum,
literally what is the point. i'd rather use my time for other things thanks
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budpuppy · 2 years
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it's been said a thousand times before me, but if u feel disgust at zoosadist shock videos, u should be vegan.
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