#and u know what? we couldve helped each other then

[munamania]

something that makes me feel guilty is the fact that seeing that persons face rn literally makes me angry. they walked into class and i nearly winced. and in all fairness they were quite kind to me. outside of the several kind of odd red flags. girl whatever. to be quite frank i am a horny bastard and vocal proud etc but few people interest me enough to actually want to hang out with and get to know And i have deep seated intimacy issues so it's like. we really dont have a shot unless the circumstances r exactly right on a full moon perfect thursday of a month etc like. well and tbh i probably would have fucked around with this person but i dont... care... about some big relationship w them.. and i know i could be a relationship girl like eventually i have it in me to have a muse that's what im built for i think idc but not rn... rn i need to hang out with my friends and do my film stuff and have people that maybe wanna make out sometimes is that so much to ask for. for a lesbian at a bar to want to make out perhaps. ** for there to be lesbians at the bars to potentially make out with.

[servingthecuntry]

Several things to say after the newest episode

WE'RE GETTING THE FATES Y'ALL(if u didn't see the episode trailer go back to the end credits and it'll be there)

Idk why they were moved to after the chimera fight but they're coming!!!!

Also I've been listening to the audiobook and decided to make a post of what we've been missing in the show

Some stuff makes sense like cutting out argus. Maybe it would've been too hard to animate all his eyes or his role wasn't big enough to fit in the time limit. But I've been craving for a missing poster with percy. At camp he's given a newspaper of his and his mums dissapearance with him as a person of interest because gabe calls him a troubled kid with a delinquent past. I get cutting out some stuff for gabe but it couldve been easy to see them walk past a newspaper of this on the train. Also there were missing posters percy would tear down when in the human world and I just want to see one person of interest or missing person poster.

Now SPOILER WARNING(books and show) but here are the other things I've noticed:

Grover got the flying shoes because percy isn't safe in the air due to zeus

The styx oath is super super serious

ANNABETHS BEEN TO OLYMPUS

Annabeth has a crush on luke(maybe they want to retcon that idk)

I'd been wondering for ages why the kids don't have cells ITS BC MONSTERS CAN TRACE THEM

argus is the camp protector and was going to drive the kids to the coach and for some reason they cut it out so we don't get to see a dude covered in eyes

Percy and annabeth aren't supposed to get along because of their parents rivalry

Argus may ship percabeth

Percy has missing posters everywhere

Percy is a person of interest in his mothers suspicious dissapearance because of gabe

GROVER CAN READ EMOTIONS (like auras?)

Grover eats tin cans and playing cards(he's also a vegetarian)

Percys mum married Gabe bc his smell hides percy from creatures/ monsters

Chiron has had a percy related prophecy that's only now starting to make sense

There were meant to be 3 furies on the bus(i can see why they cut this out)

Monsters come back to life and mrs dodds had come back

The camp was attacked by a hell hound out for percy who was fought off by annabeth with a sword and killed by chirons arrow (I get cutting out this scene but it would've looked SO COOL)

It could only be summoned by someone inside the camp and was from the field of torment so that's how they knew hades was the one who had stolen the lightning bolt and framed percy

A hawaian shirted tourist had taken a picture of percy with riptide

I'm guessing they rewrote the coach scene so they didn't lose all their snacks and money(rip grovers tin cans)

In the book if percy dies the quest is over and annabeth and grover have to go back to camp but I don't think that's an issue in the show(or maybe percy didn't know because annabeth didn't explain to him idk)

Annabeths never actually gone out into the real world since she was 7

We got to see annabeth unsure of herself because she's never gotten to properly fight a monster since she was 7 which is a shame to cut out of the show for her character arc. Tbh theyve cut out a lot of slower character arcs which is annoying but understandable with the length of each episode

Grover can play songs to help eg the find a path song but he hasn't got the hang of it yet

Hes basically a level 1 bard

Auntie M was able to use some kind of snake charmer ability

Grover was way more fighting active in the book because he found his uncles statue earlier than in the show

In the book they used a reflection of a spear instead of annabeths cap and annabeth was calculating how off the light would be because the spear was curved. Both show off annabeths intelligence but the cap is more unique and cooler on screen

When parts of a monster are cut off they don't disappear with the rest of it and become a "spoil of war" -basically a magically remaining trophy

Satyrs aren't meant to get migranes but percy and annabeth gave grover one at medusas

I'm guessing at least 50% of percys impertinence comes from being an only kid

This isn't a fact this is just something I started imagining after the 50th time someone said "Percy" with the same energy as a cat being annoyed at another housecat and giving a warning meow before attacking it

Grovers getting a searchers license to find Pan the Greek God

Grover doesn't know what happened to his dad who was also a seeker

The search for Pan gives satyrs hope after seeing what humans have done to the world

Grover tells percy annabeth forgave him for what happened at Grovers first assignment

The furies were holding back and could've been more aggressive than they were

Grover can use his emotional reading to see what percy hides about his feeling to his dad

The thing in Percys dreams tries using him to pull itself out not to drag him down

Grover can talk to all animals

Grover is a snorer

Percy tells annabeth about his dream at this point but I don't think he's told anyone about those dreams in the show

They've not said anything about the beads on their necklaces the campers get for surviving another year. Would've been an easy merch ad but maybe it wasn't important enough yet

Children of athena are made as thoughts of athena and given to people she feels close to or something

Annabeth was sent to her dad in a golden basket with the winds of zephyr

Even though she respects her mum she has equal level of daddy issues to percy

In chapter 12 percy acts like he doesn't care about his dad's approval but grover can read his emotions and knows percy sent medusas head so poseidon would be proud

But then he wonders in chapter 13 why annabeth acts like she doesn't care about her dad who seems worse than gabe when she still wears a ring from him which is such a teen thing for him to do honestly

Whenever a monster attacked annabeth the stepmum and dad blamed her for "threatening" their mortal/ normal kids

We get a hint of architecture nerd annabeth in the episode but she doesnt say she wants to build something for athena. I assume its implied but its not clarified how big her dreams are. She wants to build something that'll last 1000 years. I won't give any major spoilers but maybe we'll get it in a future scene and I'm hoping its in her siren scene

I think that while percy loves his mum and hates his dad Annabeth hates her mortal parents and Athena was her only hope of a loving mother even though in the show she says its a kind of transactional thing

Also side note I thought the chimera was the pink poodle before it left the bag and I love that they kinda sorta reference it when we see from the human passengers pov

In the books they're careful about mentioning gods around humans but percy just straight out calls the mother of monsters a monster in front of the passengers and officers. Didn't even lower his voice or anything

Hades has a helm that can make him become darkness and make you so scared you go insane

Do they ever get something equivalent to sending stones or detect thoughts like in DnD to deal with this? Obviously normal tech is out because monsters can track it but what about magical communication methods?(the iris video call system doesn't count that seems like a premium thing if it costs one gold drachma-also the book explains demigods only use gold drachmas even though in ancient greek it would've been silver- and they have 20 for the quest so they cant just use a drachma every time they want to send a magical text which; you can't do with the iris system. Also the iris system isn't any subtler than a zoom call so wouldn't be good for hiding stuff from hades)

Percy still hasn't gotten a chance to confuse annabeth with his blue snack foods(i assume grover already knows bc he'd have had blue sweets at yancy)

Zeus allowed the mother of monsters to attack Percy

The mother of monsters hates that ant eaters are named after the echidna

For some reason riptide didn't return to percy during the fight and its mentioned in the book. Maybe poseidon kept it so he could contact him?

Also a couple notes I've learned while listening to hesiod

The cyclopes helped zeus defeat kronos and bring the titans to their time out tartarus zone(not by crafting the lightning bolt in the original myths unless I'm misremembering I think they just helped in the fight like bringing your older brother to fight your bully)

The river styx is the only female river goddess and a favourite child

I hadn't taken any notes so lmk if u want me to add more hesiod fun facts and I'll relisten to theogony

I'm stopping notes here so I don't go past chapter 13: I plunged to my death

I'm thinking of writing my notes as I binge listen to the audiobook and editing them after watching the episode before posting on tumblr. Or I've already read until book 4 of the pjo series so I may decide to hold off on listening to the audiobook until each episode airs(I have vague memories of important or memorable stuff but its been a couple years since I last read the books). I'll see how long I can stop myself from listening to the audiobook. This isn't a perfect list so let me know if somethings wrong or if I missed something in tags or comments

[matoitech]

if trigger ever makes a promare sequel (i miss galo and lio sm) what would u want out of it?

I GOT RLY BUSY AND TOTALLY FORGOT TO RESPOND TO THIS IM SORRY. god this is a good question tho, i think for me i'd definitely want like a lot MORE focus on character stuff this time! id love more sexy mech fights, more drift compatability stuff w galo and lio and the fact they were literally like mind synced in their mech, PLEASE. and imo id love like a motorcycle race or smth i dunno. 'why' itd be cool. id love a lot more galo and lio, id love a lot more aina (and theyd surely do more with gueira and meis). i just miss them too i want to see them again i think theres so much more they could do w them, so much more worldbuilding too cuz promare didnt focus a lot on that but i think it couldve helped to build up the Fascist Dystopia thing more

i know that trigger is capable of serious and good writing, especially with characters and relationships. they CAN get into the grit of stuff. i wish they would actually have more faith in their ability to do that. while writing wasnt rly a top priority w promare but out of everything galo and lios relationship was always that priority w the movie and it shows that everything else was kind of brushed over, which like, i dont Hate, i GET it and it is very common to point out that promare was definitely the studios obvious first time compressing a series worth of stuff into 1 movie, and i absolutely think focusing on galo and lio since they were literally the main characters and romance and its THEIR movie they carried was the best decision they couldve made when they were cutting around to try and fit everything into 2 hours. and they still cut a little too much from them imo like cutting galo holding lio and them just talking when galo pulled lio from the dragon and aina brought them to the frozen lake that was in the storyboards, and replacing that with the worst animated fight scene in the movie was a bad decision lol. they r the romance they need TALK time

ive talked abt it b4 so i wont get in2 it here its not super relevant but i do think a lot of promare fans were dumb abt things getting brushed over and acted like bcuz things like 'galo being traumatized' wasnt directly stated to their face he actually had no trauma, or whatever, so maybe a little bit more focus on not just keeping everything vague wouldve helped, or could be brought up more in a sequel. even w galo and lios relationship, a huge part of their relationship and dynamic is stuff is in stuff that isnt supplementary exactly its more like a Bonus but like the soundtrack being another whole plot elaborating on their relationship and feelings for each other. again i do think galo and lio being the focus was absolutely a good idea like im not against that at all lol theres a reason ppl remember them the most out of the movie. i want more focus on them now that theyre together and i want more focus on their characters in general- their backstories, their relationships, their traumas since i dont think u can write anything for promare without bringing that into it. like the pre movie experiences AND movie experiences Made the characters esp galo and lio who they r. that stuff IS important for character. and i want this for other side characters too like i want more of ainas stuff, i like her parallels to galo and i want them to keep working on it. first movie was just fucking Going Going Going with the plot and i get why but they skimped out on character relationships but imo they should expand on those in any further content.

i actually wouldnt necessarily need a sequel movie specifically especially bcuz theyd have troubles w both galos va's in japanese and english (galos japanese va was apparently Expensive and as we know billy kametz was the perfect galo va in the english dub and he unfortunately passed away last year) so im not sure how they'd... combat that even in a tv series with less budget or an ova or a video game w voice acting. a manga could work as a good follow up and also not require the extra expenses of animation or have things to deal with w voice actors, tho the director said he wouldnt make one unless it was full color and thats Expensive but also like who gives a fuck imaishi. do it. you spend money on so much bullshit you should make a full color post canon promare manga of your best story. to me :)

ive had a lot of ideas for possible sequels or follow ups over the years and i think whether any more promare was plot based or character based w just slice of life stuff or just focusing on galo and lios relationship, any of it would be rly fun to see. i also think itd be rly likely the promare would come back in some capacity in a sequel lol. they even gave themselves an opening with the promare like taking a piece of lio back to their home dimension/planet. the fires such a huge recognizable part of promare, it would be VERY likely to me that they would bring it back for a post canon story, especially when taking it away was a big source of criticism for the movie (not cuz its Cooler if the fire stays, tho thats true, but also bcuz it just literally doesnt work w the narrative to build up abt how burnish and not burnish ppl cna live peacefully and even be very close, as evidenced by galo and lio, and then just. not do anything w it cuz the run times over so oopsie better just send the aliens back. i could get into this way more but i already have many many times and i dont want to ramble more than i already am lol). but i think trigger burned themselves out a lot on promare bcuz it took so fucking long to make that they werent particularly interested in revisiting it so soon, but since it was SO successful and ppl rly loved it and imo its one of their best properties they absolutely could pick it back up again. however its also like the monkeys paw thing where u want promare to come back but u want it to be GOOD u dont want them to just make it for the sake of making it u want there to be like something they want to do with the characters or story. and the exec staff team have said they told the story they wanted to tell, but i do think they could find interesting ways to bring it back and tell more story. they might be done w galo and lio but im sure not. do it for me <3 ill write you a sequel. anwyay i rambled so much im gonna cut myself off but thank u for asking i could talk so long abt it lol

[lxghtbound]

old music ask that i am too lazy to find

@eggsmuses asked: 🎵  OBLIGATORY  SCOUT  AND  CAYDE

what’s up danger from spiderverse

cmon it TOTALLY fits them do i even have to explain the vibes are just THERE

electric feel - coast modern

ik it’s by mgmt originally but. i heard it from coast modern first so im picking this one dsfgsfd. ok we’ve run six shooter into the ground as a solar ship song so i raise u this as an ARC ship vibes song. now we just need void but for cayde and scout that is NOT my problem dsfgsfd

belgrade - battle tapes

mainly for the chorus i sent u it in dms but i gotta add it here

st. eriksplan - low roar

OH BOY we finally have the sadder song. this was the other one i mentioned in pex and cayde’s post where both gosia and this one fit. the first two verses im not too fussed abt but third and fourth?

‘Bury your head How can you sleep? While the man that you loved Burns at the stake Now it’s clear that your words Would flicker and fade’

scout vibes, knowing that cayde died and he COULDVE helped. he couldve. but he didnt take the chance to go with him, even if there was no reasonable way of foretelling what would happen (yknow. aside from the spoiler alert sidearm being there but we dont talk abt that)

‘And each day it takes You further away And if I saw you right now I’m not sure what I‘d say There’s only so many words A dead man can say I guess I’d wish you the best And be on my way’

and cayde. not knowing what he wouldve or couldve even said in those final moments. or could even work for afterwards in aus where he lives, growing slowly more distant from the pack bc hes Scared. but not knowing what to do to repair that in the first few months, or even years, bc scout is equally as bad with feelings. oh man now im just thinkin even more abt that au,,,,

[taintedtruths]

its weird how a break up can be so mind-numbingly liberating and disturbingly agonizing at the same time. people all around me always say things like, "if youre better off without him, then u know it was toxic for u but if u arent then it was definitely true love."

well what about all those times when u know u r at peace, u r less anxious, u know that this is good for u and ur mental health but u also feel a knife incessantly stabbing thru ur chest, constantly reminding u that u had someone who couldve been the one bc u we were so incredibly perfect for each other but u lost them and now u cant help but wonder if u r even a second thought to them so u helplessly want to be emotionless just so that u dont have to feel the pain of losing them.

and of course, 3 am thoughts strike, and all u can think about is whether they care as much as u do. and youre trying ur best to send a message thru ur stupid social media posts that u still love them PRAYING that they see it and its driving u crazy that u dont know if they feel the same bc im right where he left me.

and all of this bc u couldnt tell them u want to get back some day bc u feel like ever since youve entered their life, everything has been wrong and now that youre out, theyre doing better again; which hurts so fucking much bc they had just the opposite effect in ur life.

its weird isnt it?

[n0ct0urn1quet]

unbelievably in love with my gf rn but i have decided NOT to ramble in the tags and am instead rambling in the post but only bc i have lots to say ant it literally would not fit in the tags . ANYWAYS KJDFKLJDFKLGH @vergildotcom

i just :] she is so prety,,,,so shaped,,,,,,unbelievably shaped (positive),,,,,,everything abt her physcially is just !!!!!! lovely!!!!!!!!!!!! she is so round and chubby and very much pillow shaped (which is epic bc honestly? the pillows i have rn are flat and i wake up with a sore neck every morning. however if i just use my gf as a pillow i wake up with NO sore neck and NO back pain or anything . literally she is a much more comfier pillow than my Two Actual Pillows DJKSJKG)..... shes so . bfhnjg :)

and she is just !!!!!!!!!11 so kind.......so sweet.............ealierer we were talking n i was all yearny n she was like "bro whats that" n im like "w,,,,,,whats what,,,," n shes like "whats that on ur face" n imall confused ?? so im like "idk bro,,,,,,,,,,,," n then shes like !!!!!!!!!!!! "*mwah*!!! its me!!!!!" n im like :O :O :O :O :O !!!!!!!! its u!!!!!!!!!!1 on my face giving me a kis!!!!!!!!! waow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <:]

idk im just thinking so hard abt her rn she makes me . verey haby. n not to get kinda sentimental ig but i rly need to reliaze that. like. i dont Need to worry about a lot of things. i dont need to worry about taking a picture of myself n thinking that i look bad in the picture or i dont need to worry about how my brain works or anything like that bc. she'll lov me regardless. i could send a picture of myself who just woke up and i could have my hair be all crazy and wacky and all over the place and she would be like "u look prebby :)". i could have an Episode n get all anxious ovr something dumb n she would b there to help n even if there wasnt something she could rly Do to help she would at least . Be There. n thas all that matters to me

idk i just <:] i just lov her a lot yk,,,,,shes just. the nicest person iv ever met. im very very lucky to have met her and sometimes it baffles me that we met completely on Accident. i remember a while ago her n i talking n she told me she found my tumblr blog completely on accident bc she meant to click on someone elses blog but ended up clicking on mine n its just. it is baffling to think that if she hadnt accidentally clicked on my tumblr blog 4 years ago we might not have even. like. met each other at all.

thats another thing i think about! sometimes i think about. my Life. before i met her and before i rly joined tumblr. back when i was living with my dad n mom in a not very safe household. n sometimes i wish i could go back n prevent them from splitting up or think about how my dad couldve gotten better if he had just gotten therapy for his issues but. the thing is. if all of that happened and he did get help where would i be. i dont think i would have ever joined tumblr because my dad didnt rly want me on any social media at all so i dont think i would have even met maria. so sometimes in a weird twisted way im Glad all of that bad stuff happpened bc. if im being honest, if it never happened i wouldnt have moved in with my sister, she would have never shown me tumblr, i would have never made an account and i would have never met maria. n idk thats juts wacky to think about. yeah those events left me with severe trauma n a shit ton of other mental issues but it led me to the girl who kinda saved my life in a way so for that ig im just thankful that all of it happened. i mean yeah i got a fucked up brain now but heehee i have a gf and she makes me happy and i loveve her :]

and idk just !!!!!!!!!!! knowing that in a few years or less we could be moving in with each other,,,,,,,groughg it makes me happy. so happy. and its just so weird to think about bc we've been together for 4 years and in like the first year or two we were togteher we kinda didnt rly vc a whole lot n we couldnt rly video chat so all we rly had was jus talking thru tumblr/discord and we both desperately wanted to see each other but we jus. couldnt. n we wanted to try n raise like $300 or something to come see each other but its kinda funny bc like all we were worried about is seeing each other. we didnt think about like if i would stay with her in her house (she was living in a . very very very very small place at the time) or like if my mom would be coming with me or if the ppl she lived with even like Knew About Me so its kinda funny how we just wanted to meet in person without. actually thinking about it n planning it all out SKJDKJJKG but then we actually did kinda get somewhere this year where like. it was maybe most likely going to happen. i was gonna come visit her and my mom was gonna come n my gf n i were just gonna . visit for a few weeks. unfortuantely that didnt end up happening because someone moved in with us and now we're nearly broke and just straight up cannot afford it but. we're still working on it

but as i was saying its just wild how in the first year or two that wer were together we were so . desperate n upset that we couldnt see each other much. n it was definitely a lil bit rough. n we just kept saying that each day that passes means we're getting closer to seeing each other and like. here we are, 4 years later, with a very slim chance that it might still happen. i mean we still have the rest of july and like early august to plan something out. its a bit late and its very very expensive rn for me and my mom to travel but if we're lucky things might work out. my sister might move out within the nxet month or so, mom might get a raise, she might be able to afford to travel, stuff like that. its a small percentage but its not 0. and plus even if we dont visit we can still vc and video chat when we want to, and plus no matter what happens im STILL going to go live with her n im STILL for sure 100% going to meet her Eventually. lke its for sure gonna happen n its gonna b very epic :]

sorey this is. a lot !!!!!!1 sorey pepper if this is too long or anytihng ik ur used to reading just small gayposts but like i said earlier i am ni a very rambly mood n i want nothing mor than to just make u happy n put a lil smile on ur face befor u go to bed. u make me rly rly happy n ur just very very important to me. i love u so very much hunny,, seep well ,,,, i lob u :] :]

[onmymasa22]

Right now i feel inspired. To create, to take over the world. Where i dont know what life will bring, where it will take me, but i just want to create. I want to fall in love with painting. I want thick and squeezing and hands into something. Tomorrow i hope to hashem that ill have the same desire to paint and love life. 

Hashem this year, i want to remember that you are with me. Because im human and i forget sometimes. Friends are important so that we never feel alone. 

Sometimes people come to me for advice and all i can do is tell them that they aren't alone, because im there to help or just be with them. And 

I feel like its different when ur with other people and when ur with me. I dont know exactly what it is. Maybe its a different sparkle in your eye. You look like youre happy. I just see something different in you. Like you just look at me and i melt. When you told me you wanted to make those three to ten kids with me. When you told me i couldve come in pajamas. When you didnt care that my breathe smelt like garlic. When you told me that im beautiful inside and out. I see a different light in you. The way you look in my eyes. The way you smile while looking at me. The way holding you just feels like the ocean. I love making you breathe deeply or when you give me a hard time. Or when someone said i had a boney butt, but you said u like my butt. I like it when u said ur smiling and laughing so hard your face hurts. When we're with others its ok. But when we're together, i see something different. I see a twinkle. I see how beautiful u are. You are such a beautiful man. 

I want a husband who is so inlove with me. Who is so grateful im in his life. Who needs to be around me. Who will check with me before physical stuff. Who accepts me for everythibg i am and everything im not. Who pushed me to be better. Who can communicate and is positive and happy. Who loves me when hes happy, not when hes sad or lonely. 

After a while of not being happy, but for no good reason, and then not being happy for all the reasons, i finally feel happy. And it doesnt have to do with any kind of situation differnce. Teachers are still annoying, friends share my secrets. But i stopped caring. I just call them a pineapple and keep going. They want to be upset, let them, they want to give me stumbling blocks, ill be okay. I just want to enjoy each and every day that i have. 

He texted me that im really nice and cute and I'm a good person but I'm not for him. That's ok. Maybe we'll be friends instead. It was a nice run. It's my dating for purim time. I was hopeful and i kind of treat people like we're already friends. Ahhh maybe he wants to have sex with someone. Thats cool. Its not me, but its cool. We can go to being friends. It was all fake. The wanting to be closer, the compliments, all of it. Everything he said was a lie. And im still me. Im still ok. Im pissed. Im frustrated. I saw more than maybe there was. Maybe we dont vibe. Maybe he likes eli. 

Ok. We kind of broke it off today. I dont let people see me sweat. I dont act emotional. I kind of just use my brain. I need to heal myself. That isnt his responsibility to do. Now, with myself i can be emotional. I need to heal myself. It was three weeks, but it was a good three weeks. 

I need to just go through my feelings. I kind of just clam up. Like i wont let them see me sweat. And thats ok. I love myself. Im proud of myself. I appreciate myself. I am inoove with myself and i just need to show myself love. 

I was this day old when i had a relationship where i was fully me. I was comunicative. I 

Me getting angry at you, it means i cared. See, i dont care enough about anybody and thats not always a good thing. It feels sometimes like nothing hurts me when u dont let people inside. I dont plan on anyone staying, i dont plan on people sticking by their words or actions. People get to do whatever they want. They can choose me, or wont. Ill still be here thinking i deserve the world. My worth doesnt corespobd to being chosen. Is a flower not as beautiful because no one picked it. Dalya, you are a flower no one paid attention to. The right person will pick u but people who aren't right will spend a few weeks with you anf understand that they aren't the right ones. 

Im having trouble with this life. I want to b ok. 

I want a guy who will just be good to me. Someone who loves me and accepts me no matter what. Someone who believes in hashem with all their being. Someone who stands by their word. Someone who makes me be better. Someone i can love and accept and make them better. 

A young guy says to a rabbi- im having a really hard time with with davening. How can i work on it? The rabbi then asks, what do you like? The young man said i like chessed. So the rabbi says, put davening asside. Work on chessed. Everyone is shocked. The man says well how do i work on chessed? The rabbi says- start small. When you walk into a room, and a person is in the room, say hello. If a kid is in the room, say hello to the kid. If hashem is in the room, say hello to hashem

I think youre an asshole. I think if i had lower self asteem or i actually trusted u, u would b really damaging. I think guys like you are assholes. U r just grimy, and i am not grimy. A part of me is bothered that u continue on like u r decent and ur not. Youre slimy. And a part of me wishes i could tell u how slimy u r, how i wish i never knew u, how i wish u wouldnt text me again. A part of me thinks that you should just disappear into the darkness of my past. Maybe that part of me is all of me. The part of me that wants for that to disappear. 

I just wanted to say thank you for creating a space where i can go out with my phone on 13 percent battery and know that ill be fine because its a space to connect with people and im barrly on my phone. Almost every event i find myself having a 

I just wanting to say thank you for creating a forum where I dont need to care whether I have battery on my phone. I know that I can come to an event with my phone on 13% and be totally okay because it's about deep connections with whoever is around me, and not being on a cellphone.

Dalya 

 because the energy is to connect with people, not to be on my phone. Its a space where i 

Things that show me im on the right path:

Shai barzilai told me that there's something wild about me and i need to let it out. That "i have it". To keep drawing alot. I said i work fast but not good, he said i work great.

When rachel keeny said that im an artist. And i was like what?! She was like you're an artist. I said im never sure that im in the right place. She said you are.

When meir says that what i did was interesting. When he says that it finds favor in his eyes. The smile and his eyes when he looks at it. 

Things that give me energy:

Creating art

Volunteering with old people

I want to read book, to paint and draw and sculpt. 

I started out as a star. And hashem said, do you want to go to earth for an insanely short period of time and feel every emotion that exists. 

I lived, i loved, and i felt it all. 

I love the look on yonatans face when hed sit and watch me draw and id look at him and he'd smile. Like watching me work gave him pleasure. 

I want to learn how to draw with dry pastels Marriage will not make me happy. Having a good job will not make me happy. I could be married and be unhappy. I could be single and be unhappy. I really just want to be happy. 

I was in a guest bedroom

And i remember looking in the mirror at myself and telling myself that today you are going to say everything that comes into your head. So its a memory of pointing at myself in the mirror.

The next thing is me bleeding from my face, my nose and my eyes and everything. Blood on the floor. Its sitting on the floor and knowing that im gonna live, i checked to see if i still had my legs, if i still had my arms, if all my teeth were still in my mouth. 

Saying no was scary. Because the courage it takes to say know is all the energy in your body. But then if you say no amd they ignore you, you feel invisible. And the feeling of being invisible, is the worst feeling in the world. So you would rather blame yourself for not saying anything, than deal with the fact that you clumpt together all the courage in your body and it didnt do anything. 

Yaakov was a gilgul of adam and thats why yaakov was the most beautiful- he wasnt born, he was created by hashem. 

When yosef refuses to sleep with her. It uses the word refuse. And theres a shalaheles about the word meaning a chain linking it to somewhere else. The word is found where it talks about yaakov refusing to b comforted to believe that yosef is dead until he sees a dead body. Because yosef says, he wont give up on himself, because he believes that his father didnt give up on him yet

On this purim i am letting myself breathe. I am letting myself be slow. I am letting the feeling that ive pent up inside come out. I am crying freely and letting myself feel sad and homesick and grateful at the same time. I am healing. And this is what my healing looks like. I am going through stuff that i dont want to talk about. I have a wheel of feelings that are different all the time. I just want life to stop so i can feel. But it doesnt, so i tske it easy and try to enjoy the ride. 

Im trying to convince myself that im better off without that. That I'm not missing out on anything real or worthy. Im sad now. And im far away. And i want to be back in my happy self. I just want to daven. And be who i am. I am light. I am everything good. I am perfection deep down. I have some dirt still that i got back into. But hey, i kept shabbat all year except for once. I want to be a beam of light again. I need good energy. Energy that matches who i want to be. 

I think the biggest part about my trauma is that i stopped trusting ppl enough to be hut by them. I stopped showing them i was hurt. I wont let them feel like they hurt me. It doesn't mean they didnt, but it means my guard is always up. I cant let my guard down. Duh. 

When i tell u ir try to convince u im not a good person, its a lie. Its a facade because i dont want u to know how good i am. So its like a mask. But actually, im so good and pure. And i dont know if the lie works. But its also a wall. If someone hurts me knowing how good i am, it hurts more than thinking i deserve it. Its easier to blame mysekf than to blsme someone else as just being an asshole. 

I am the girlfriend who will call and just listen to you breathe. I will make u laugh and hold you when i can. I am the type to love with such passion and loyalty. I am such a gift. I am light. I am not like other girls. I am beautiful inside and out. 

I am waiting for the one who thinks he is so lucky to have me. Who wants to spend every second of every day with me. Who answers my phonecalls. Im the girl who will stay. Who will try to gigure out how to deal with whatever. Who will have the conversations. I want everyone to love everything about me. I am the girl a guy should want to marry from first sight. He'll see me and know. Then he'll talk to me and really know. He should be the best person ever. 

I realized, there's not one teacher who will talk about my hagasha that ill respect or appreciate their opinion. 

אנחנו בשנה ג. אז היו לי הגשות שהרגיש טוב, והיו הגשות שפגע בי אישית שהייתי צריכה להרגע אחר כך כי לא ציפיתי. עכשיו הגעתי למקום שאני מרוצה, ואני צריכים להגיד את הדעות שלכם בתור מרצים, וחצי מכם לא תאהובו את מה שעשיתי לא משנה מה, רק בגלל שזאת אני. ואני אומרת לעצמי שזה משקף אתכם, לא אני. ואני לא מצפה לדברים טובים. 

[everythingsinred]

thinking abt when i was suicidal and how it was already hard enough to seek help (i remember being mad at zoe for telling me mom abt my feelings, thats how hard it was for me) but how much it wouldve destroyed me if the ppl i care abt most told me that helping me take care of my mental health was too much “emotional labor” and how im “trauma dumping.”

and honestly yall almost had me believing that bullshit too, that my comfort should come first even if someone really needs me but thats not true. sorry if u dont wanna hear this but ur a fairweather friend if u only wanna be there when its easy and comfortable. yes theres a name for u and its not “self care” or “emotionally healthy”. its FAIRWEATHER FRIEND. a selfish person who only wants to be around ppl if it benefits them.

the second someone needs help, the second being around someone isnt all sunshine and butterflies, and the second u make someone elses suffering abt YOUR comfort, then uve become part of the problem and this growing social media frenzy abt “self care” and “putting ur own mental health first” is just code for selfishness and abandoning ppl who need support while putting the blame on them for daring to ask for it. cant tell u how many times ive been told “cant u just pretend to smile at least? ur so negative” or “uve become cold and not happy like u used to be :/“ making MY mental health a problem for them, that im inconveniencing other ppl and IM at fault for not pretending everything is fine. “idk how to comfort ppl” immediately puts the other person is a place of shame and guilt for making u uncomfortable. “cant we talk abt something else?” when ur friend is trying to tell u smth important (and unpleasant) is selfish and putting ur own comfort in front of someone elses mental health.

u dont need to drop everything for everyone all the time. thats not what im saying. but the reluctance to EVER do this and the resentment u feel when someone in a bad place is relying on u bc they feel ur all they have? thats selfish.

[cluelesslesbian]

• lance choses his room first because he's pretty overwhelmed by the whole situation

• one minute he's seeing what pidge is up to with hunk back at the garrison

• the next, he's flying in a mechanical blue lion, meeting alteans in some castle on another planet

• he needed some alone time to think things over

• him, hunk, pidge, shiro and ugh- mullet head, are supposed to become the paladins of voltron?

• it was a lot to take in

• when could he see his family?

• would they possibly take a pit stop to earth?

• his family doesn't have a clue on where he is

• keith is following not far behind and notices which bedroom lance chooses

• he looks around the hall as if someone would be there to judge his decision

• and chooses the room right beside lance's

• not because he wanted some excuse to be near lance of course to possibly get rid of the whole rivalry thing

• it just...happened accidentally

• he finds himself regretting his decision

• when lance finds out he's a little taken back, assuming he'd choose a room next to shiro's

• he wasn't going to admit this either because they're rivals 😤

• but he was a bit happy to have keith's room near his

• and would hide how he really feels with a "god. i can't believe mr. drop out PURPOSELY choose his room next to mine just to bug the shit out of me, smh."

• keith's response to that would be something like: "ha...yeah, cause i hate you. a lot. there's no other reason why i choose that room. nope. not at all."

• lance gets obnoxious by blasting music in his bedroom purposely during random times of the day, singing along with the songs

• keith either kicks the wall (which does nothing)

• or comes in the room with his knife held up high

• because of their rooms being together, they're told to wake each other up

• keith ends up having to wake up lance more other than vice versa

• he walks into the room, awkwardly standing there and just kind of staring before actually attempting to wake him up

• he slides lance's headphones down gently and nudges his shoulder

• lance only mumbles, reaching out to grab keith's arm

• keith has a small gay panic and ends up yelling his name, yanking his arm away

• which freaks the fuck out of lance

• he doesn't shut up about how keith "aggressively woke me up like the castle was on fire! i thought getting older meant i wouldn't get crazy wake up calls like the one's my siblings would do."

• the rare and i mean rare times when lance wakes keith up

• lance will barley touch keith's shoulder and he jolts awake, grabbing his knife from under the pillow

• some nights when keith wakes up, due to a nightmare, he hears the gentle yet muffled from a guitar coming from lance's room

• sometimes he'll even hear him singing softly

• it soothes keith, making it easier for him to fall back asleep

• one time keith accidentally walks in on lance playing the guitar during the day

• he sorta freezes up but relaxes his shoulders after a moment

• they just sort of stare at each other in awkward silence

• keith: you know- i've heard you play before- not to sound creepy or anything...and uh, you're pretty good

lance: really? thanks man. playing usually helps me cope when i'm down in the dumps and has just become a hobby of mine

• then lance gives keith the softest smile ever that makes keith's heart pump as if he'd just ran laps around the castle

• he makes up a lame excuse to leave

• lance frowns at his sudden excuse and assumes he'd said the wrong things and starts apologizing

• keith waves him off, apologizing himself, telling lance he wouldn't mind hearing him play some more

• so lance offers he sits across from him as he played

• lance explains the song he's playing was his mothers favorite song, singing the lyrics in spanish

• keith had no idea what he was saying, but that didn't matter

• what mattered was the joy displayed on his face as he sung, confidence shining through his eyes

• at this moment keith had come to realize that his crush he had on lance might be something more

this one went from klance having rooms next to each other to keith pinning over lance playing the guitar- whoops

— 🌙 moon anon

YESYESYES

I cannot believe we have no context for how the paladins chose their rooms?? Like ajdkfl WHAT YOU WROTE IS SO GOOD- the creators couldve totally shown us how the paladins would cope after tough battles by showing us a scene like that???

aaaanyways now for my screeching

I LOVE the langst. like srsly.

Lance would totally feel comfortable with Keith's room next to his- BECAUSE Keith doesn't remember know him as well as the Garrison Duo

Like hear me out,, it's so much easier to let yourself feel sad when you know you don't have to worry about?? making others feel responsible for it????

So Hunk and Pidge would only make him bottle up his feelings more,

Hunk especially would feel bad about Lance feeling bad which would make Lance feel bad and itll just spiral right there

and Shiro is his HERO- absolutely no way Lance wants to show "weakness" around him (very unhealthy mindset btw! feelings ain't bad to have, but I get idk wanting to pretend youre invincible to look good in front of people u admire :/ )

But Keith???? yeah. he'll work....

idk maybe I'm projecting too much with that^ one ahdjfk MOVING ON

awkward keith checking to make sure no one is gathering evidence that he's a simp??? hilarious and completely logical bc pidge and shiro would DRAG HIS ASS if they found out 😂

KEITH PULLING OUT THE KNIFE EVERY CHANCE HE GETS- LIKE THE DRAMATIC KING HE IS??? *CHEF'S KISS*

klance x music! klance x music! klance x music!!!

like that whole last scene was so soft I'm in love with it 🥺❤

PINING KEITH!!! BUT AFTER GETTING TO KNOW LANCE again?? AND LIKE NOT NECESSARILY AWAY??? TOP NOTCH

@lesbianklance come get yall juice

[hee4won]

snow days w/ en- !

requested: no. (requests are open! see rules)

warnings: SWEET SWEET SUPER CUTE LOVELY BOYS

a/n: long time no see besties, a gift from me to you 😈 (all jokes aside i hope you like this okay i think fluff is needed rn, heart you all)

heeseung

this boy loves snow

i am solely basing hee’s off of that one pic of him in the really nice coat out in the snow

bc i’m madly in love with him

anyway HE is the one to excitedly tell you about the snow first

he seems like the type to facetime at night and hang up in the morning (like a virtual sleepover)

continuation under the cut!

esp if he’s too busy to meet with you

and if he wakes up first and you’re still in the call he’ll be like

“baby 🥺 baby 🥺”

😧 you are SLUMPED

“Y/N WAKE UP THERES SNOW”

and THAT gets you up ofc bc he was yelling super loud 😇

so now that you’re up you have approximately hmm let’s see

oh! heeseung is at your door rn.

“good morning baby, it’s time to go to my favorite cafe :]”

“the one you said was perfect for snow days?”

“of course! now get ready” who needs small talk ig

you’re still tired but oh my goodness how could you say no to him

so you wash up and come back out to see hee on the couch looking out the window watching the snow fall

he’s adorable, you’re a simp. simple 😄 (see what i did there)

after the cafe date you guys just do some walking around and take cute pics of and with each other

so lovely <3

jay

jay will use any excuse he can to go shopping

and spoil you ;)

“oh, jay, look it’s snowing!”

he’ll admire the sight with you for a while until a little 💡 goes off in this man’s head

“what material is your coat?” oh boy

“uhhh, idk why?”

“do you think if we take a walk outside you’ll get cold?”

“i mean. . . yeah” AND OFF TO THE MALL U GO!

apparently you need cotton material on the inside and leather on the outside to ensure that your body stays warm

Okay Jay.

so you guys are like, shopping for hours and hours on end

hes making you try things on

after the items have been inspected by the clothing genius ofc

and after 5 hours of shopping you’re like

“jay, i just wanted to make snow ducks but now i think i’m gonna drop dead 🙁”

“okay fine we can check out”

you left with like 10 new additions to your closet and jay left with the pride of feeling like boyfriend of the year

which he is! good for him

oh and you did get to make your snow ducks, okay turn that frown upside down baby

jake

oh my goodness

jake loves snow days for THREE reasons:

cuddle by the fireplace, hot coco, and movies w his baby

you already know that once you see snow falling down you should alr be making your way to jake’s place

he’ll make the boys clear out so he can make a cute little blanket fort

and you bring the marshmallows (or whatever you like in your hot chocolate)

the moment you open the door you’re greeted with a cute jake sitting in front of the fort

he gives you his signature wide smile with a few giggles as he stands up to hug you

a jake sim please and thank you ❤️

you are 100% without a DOUBT watching the wondeful polar express

btw jake is afraid of that one puppet scene (so am i, it’s awful)

so pls hold him super tight

you’ll most likely fall asleep in that position

and of course the boys got pics of it

sunghoon

okay. you guys are finding a skating rink (@hooniee hehe hi bb)

even though it doesn’t have to be cold in order to go to one

he says it just, “feels right”

and if you can’t skate he will most definitely teach you

tries his best to let you go on your own but every time he lets go you go *plop*

he does indeed laugh okay and you can hear him but once you get back up and look at him he’s like

“😐 what” “remember when you said you didn’t need my help”

gosh he’s so annoying but don’t get me wrong

he finds your independence and clumsiness very cute

if you just can’t seem to get the hang of it he’ll take you outside

and you two will just start dancing in the snow

this time both of you end up on your butts

and sunghoon wouldn’t have it any other way

sunoo

he strikes me as the type to go out to eat then go home and cuddle all day

i really don’t think cold weather is his thing so it’ll be a cute date and comfy clothes

so you guys will definitely be going to a bakery to get some sweets

“sunoo, i couldve made us some cookies instead of spending money”

uh. . . whos gonna tell you

“i wanted only the best sweets for my sweet 😊”

very good save, sunoo, very good save

he has matching pajamas for when you get to spend a snow day together

naps naps naps

my goodness someone would think you two haven’t slept in ages the way you’re in that bad

so many cuddles oh wow he’s so warm

best. snow day. ever.

jungwon

you two are jumping like KIDS

which yes once again you kinda are but anyway.

you’re on the way to the store

getting ready to bake some cookies!

playing in the snow on the way

occasionally throwing little snowballs at each other and making snowmen on the sidewalk

“y/n, look! i made a little snow you!”

he even gave it a snow scarf so snow you wouldn’t be cold

HES SO CUTE someone help me

once you guys are back from the store it is time to get your baking on

🧑‍🍳🧑‍🍳 this you?

now i won’t say it was a total disaster

however

for some odd reason you two did not think about going by the recipe 🤔

“just wing it! it can’t be that bad”

it was definitely that bad.

but you two had fun nonetheless and THAT is what matters 🙏

ni-ki

i hope we’re all on the same page when i say

you two are having a snowball fight

any sort of competition thag involves throwing things

it is happening.

snow duel, which the other boys have to call to make sure there is no cheating

snow soccer(?)

the real competition is making sure your snowball is hard enough to withstand being kicked without falling apart

you two are very creative i must say

“RIKI YOU CAN’T THROW IT AT ME IF I’M NOT LOOKING”

“all is fair in love and war.”

“yeah war, NOT snowball fights 😐”

the boys are laughing so hard at the both of you it’s crazy

jake and sunghoon are just sitting and talking like old men saying

“i remember when i was that young”

you guys are barely 20 let’s slow it down okay

overall, super eventful day and you are both passed out in the living room afterwards

how cute

[abittersweetsongforyou]

wtfock fic recs part 2

saddle up for pt 2 babyyyy

wtfock fic recs pt 1

the underrated (just read them trust me they're brilliant)

wishing, wanting and longing by dottori

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart by orphan_account This isn't our first time around by noobishere this is us, through your eyes by dottori - with yasminas season starting id like to draw everyones attention to this fic from yasminas pov its sweet and sentimental and lovely and the fact that it has under 100 kudos is a fucking crime Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps) by berrevy - i love this author so much and this fic is so good, i love the way they're written here, the description is beautiful, 10/10 A morning without you is a dwindled dawn by Createdforyou - so soft i love seeing them just living their lives together Elayna Aan Zee by zetaphiuchi(ryuujitsu) - this one is sad and maybe sander forgives too quickly but its beautifully written and i love it you're an angel in disguise (you're an angel in my eyes) by thekardemomme - this is so sweet and lovely and warm everyone should read it I do now. by irregardlxss - robbe tells jens about the hate crime dreaming of you by ivy_seas - just them being happy at christmas time hold all my cliches on the tip of my tongue by nbrook - they're dorks and they're too horny for their own good but they love each other very much i've never been in love (but i wanna be, i wanna be) by ladypeaceful - what if sander took noors place at the party in episode 1 we have the stars (and this is given once only) by merengue - military au but also childhood friends and its so soft and beautiful and they love each other so much Agents Sliding Down The Chimney by berrevy - i seriously cannot recommend berrevy enough this is a christmas fic thats a little sad but also a whole lot sweet and very real which is what i like

angst bby

I follow you (deep sea, baby) by emotionalgoblin - sander pines in my mind, in my head by cubedmango - canon divergence for s3 last two episodes

gonna help you be free, honey by lamourestout - aftermath of the hate crime

We're always gonna be contaminated by nbrook - sander fucked upppp and everyone is sad but they communicate so its fine

the night we met by themoongirl - college au, sad boys :(((

show me some stars (beneath this ceiling) by peaceoutofthepieces - five times robbe wishes he could wake up next to sander and one time he does You're always there for me by nbrook - the s4 car accident aftermath (don't want anything) but all of you by MajorAccent - s4 car accident but extra extra angsty i know someone who kisses the way (a flower opens) by romantiser robbe and sander see each other again after sander paints the mural

sander and robbe being so in love it hurts

he is the one by themoongirl - marriage proposal im soft

I'm holding my breath, as the seasons change by bruisingknees - robbe moves out of the flatshare

new year's eve by themoongirl - sander is sad but robbe is soft

all you never say by nothingbutniall - fluffffff

you're the one that i want by themoongirl - sander needs reassurance

dark paradise by luckycharmz - sander is coming out of a low and robbe takes care of him

i was grounded (while you filled the skies) by wafflesofdoom - theyre in love okay

If a June night could talk, it would probably boast it invented romance by allforyoumylove - theyre childhood friends and theyre in love

oh my sunlight, sunlight, sunlight by alsjeblieft - sander painting robbe

Early Morning Dancing by teen_content_queen - flatmates dance in the morning v v cute

(inside my head) I've been at war by nothingbutniall - they're so soft pls

The sun came up and I was looking at you by allforyoumylove

Baby, Home Is In Your Arms by clarecas - robbe comes home to sander after his exam

don't be scared, you are my rock by peaceoutofthepieces - sander is sad but robbe is there purple lips (underwater) by dottori - fluff so much fluff i love it sm

in all your gorgeous colors by nothingbutniall - sander paints robbe you're still the that i love (the only one i dream of) by thekardemomme - i couldve also put this in the angst category but they just love each other so much its so beautiful My darling, I'm rooting for you by allforyoumylove - sander is having a depressive episode and robbe loves him fully formed, ready to run by MajorAccent - sander is down and robbe just wants to be with him paper rings by thekardemomme - they love each other so much and theyre going to get married one day i've always wanted a (boyfriend) by thekardemomme - christmas is sanders favourite holiday and robbe doesnt love christmas but he loves sander Come lie with me by allforyoumylove - they're roommates but they cuddle and fall in love glimpses by foxsake5 - theyre just living their lives, being in love, as they should

boyfriends being boyfriends

I absolutely adore you but we're absolute beginners by nbrook - sander is adorable

boy, i fucking got you by noobishere - yeah its rated e but its so sweet okay

Lovesick by szamsson - sander picks robbe up from school

you're a wonder under summer sky by nothingbutniall - boyfriends go camping

memories painted with much brighter ink by nothingbutniall - Christmas gift giving at the flatshare

we're keeping it simple by noobishere - eenvoud babyyyyy

Meet me in the hallway by nbrook - ahsdka Milan

double date. by fockinglevendcliche - double date with amber and aaron

back to the beach house. by fockinglevendcliche - sander wants to get it on and robbe is weak but their friends are assholes

take me with your constant shame by peaceoutofthepieces - cute date hold me close by sincerelysobbe - robbe is stressed and sander is the best boyfriend you charge me up (like electricity) by howlingsaturn - secret boyfriends if you say swim by soundnvision - another date another pool Modern Love by angelboygabriel - okay yes this is e rated but their. boyfriends and they're happy they're just also horny mkay You make me feel like I am whole again by nbrook - robbe has a rough day but sander is there being all cute and making it better I've been looking so long at these pictures of you by nbrook - much banter very cute You're my favourite kind of night by nbrook - at a halloween party finally kissing the right people Show me a piece of your heart, show me a piece of your love by nbrook - boyfriend tag for the broerrrs channel, unfinished but so much fun thus far working double time by noobishere - sander is wearing a turtleneck and he looks hot in it Ground Control by angelboygabriel - christmas clinging and sex because why not oh and they're in love hopeless romantics by thekardemomme - it's their anniversary and ugh they love each other sm sander driesen versus a mistletoe by dottori - its christmas and sander just wants to fucking kiss robbe okay high for this by flowermaze - sander is drowsy and still finds time to flirt with robbe All You've Got to Do Is Win by berrevy - they actually do play that tennis match years kept in minutes by peaceoutofthepieces - they have traditions and its adorable pls love is the opening door by cryingcancer - robbe and sander facetime on their anniversary after sander was sappy on instagram Home by foxsake5 - sander is a massive simp and robbe looks hot in a robe You don't have to say you're mine by nbrook - robbe is a little insecure and sander is there to reassure him Distracting by sincerelysobbe - v v v cute jahsdjah sander is weak for robbe we all understand bro February 14th, 2021 by foxsake5 - no words bro just cute af if we can make it through december (maybe we'll make it through forever) by nothingbutniall - sobbe at the christmas market This = Love by nbrook - robbe is hungover and sander loves to tease him They ain't living life like this by Createdforyou - halloween but this year they're together

sexy times

Woensdag 16:36 by Anonymous

i don't even wanna fuck, i just like you by eversincewefellapart

Vrijdag 18:26 by Anonymous - hurt and comfort

video phone by tokyometropolis(mesohorany) - quarantine times

Don't know where I'm going from here (but I promise it won't be boring) by skamsnake

snakebite by Anonymous

Zaterdag 09:58 by foxsake5

Wildfire by sincerelysobbe - no smut just kissing but they steamy

come on (mess me up) by MajorAccent - sex but tender 🥺

The Teenage Trifecta by little_but_fierce

i glow pink in the night in my room (blossoming alone over you) by midsummernightoddity

life is a pop of the cherry by icedwhitemocha - the hotel

Ik Win by Anonymous

In his arms tonight by allforyoumylove

long may he reign by tokyometropolis(meohorany) - well considered smut jsdhjhd

Draw Me Closer by skamsnake

When I live my dream (please be there to meet me) by skamsnake

we click, we go boom! by strangeparties Dark Red by nancy_mcfly - friends with benefits play the game of grown-ups by Anonymous - they have a lot of sex but its because they're in love

[stellocchia]

If we're doing hot takes, I've got a couple. My first is that I'm starting to get very tired of people complaining about something only when people do it for c!Tommy.

Like.... I dont know how many headcanons I see that people are fine w/ for other characters but as soon as its for c!tommy its like 'how dare you!! You're detracting from his canon traits!'

(As a side note, I've seen people say that people should stop headcanoning c!tommy's love for cows and I'm just. M8. Pls. He canonly had multiple pet cows what)

Hot take number 2: people need to stop acting like any of the bench trio owe each other anything. Because thats not how friendship works and if you think thats how it does work than that's a you problem.

Hot take the last: the CCs need to get better at communicating. Like I remember Captainpuffy once saying that they were literally told to NOT go visit tommy while he's streaming but weren't told exactly why. Which is dumb pls you guys couldve said 'we're roleplaying an abusive relationship <3' to the others pls.

Also I remember eret mentioning being nervous doing anything lore related now and I'm sad. Eret if u ever see this somehow pls go to las nevadas or the wilburger ranvan and prank them both it'd be funny pls

1) Agreed

2) Disagreed

3) Agreed

I'll only talk about the one I disagree with here:

But, you actually kinda do owe other people stuff if you're friend. Like, you don't owe them stuff like "putting them above yourself" and stuff like that. But are you really someone's friend if you never help them when they need it even if it comes at no cost for yourself?

Like. What kinda bleak world would we live in if we couln't rely on our friends at all because "they don't owe you to be there for you at all"? That kinda sounds like pretty sh*tty friends.

Like, don't get me wrong, I agree that you shouldn't put your friends above your physical and mental wellbeing, or above your own necessities. But that's not really the point? Like, sure, you can say that you don't owe it to them even when it's within your full capabilities to help. But that's just making excuses to be a shitty friend quite frankly.

Like, sorry, but relationships actually need effort to cultivate. And if you care about someone, if they're your friend, you owe them that effort as much as they owe it to you back.

[sixtyeightdays]

hello and here are my thoughts on traitor!hagakure, even though no one asked

hagakure could have a multitude of reasons for being the traitor and frankly right now? im choosing to believe that the main reason is because she's being blackmailed

1. we don't have enough info on her to assume otherwise

2. she seems so cheerful and genuinely happy to be around 1-A, i don't think she'd willingly be a traitor

but im not saying she wouldnt make a good traitor, she probably would if she really had to, but if she betrays the lov in the end bc she didnt want to or is really committed to her role, i think shed probably be one of the best options for traitor

--

here are some reasons i can think of off the top of my head:

- shes being blackmailed/threatened into being the traitor

- she is actually willingly a traitor because 1. family on other side? 2. nothing left to fight for 3. wants her quirk to be taken away by afo 4. wants a new quirk from afo

--

but addressing hgk slander;

i understand that some people don't like her and i get it, shes a side character shes not very relevant to the plotline of bnha - but if you hate her purely because "her quirk is useless" then idk what to say really

- people hate on shinsous bullies and then go right round and hate on hagakure for the exact same reason as shinsous bullies (hypocritical, ex. heavily hc-ed amongst fandom that shinsou was bullied in youth due to quirk)

- hagakures quirk is "useless" ; 1. invisibility has a lot of functions and it is actually good for being a hero, she can be stealthy and even more useful especially since she's figured out her light refraction trick. just because her quirk isnt combat oriented doesnt mean shes useless (again, hypocritical. many people as kids when asked choose to be invisible if possible, one of the most basic and simple quirks, but also a popular one amongst superheroes fans. simple and stealthy)

- "she couldnt have passed the entrance exam with invisibilty" okay then how did jirou pass? from what i can remember, she only figured out broadcasting her vibrations after being in ua for a bit, so how did she pass the exam when all her quirk helped her do was listen for robots? (hc-ed amongst fandom that robots had off switches to help people shut down robots, and both jirou and hagakure couldve idk lead the robots in circles and slam them against each other or into buildings. there were plently of buildings and lamposts u cant say otherwise)

- doubling back to hagakures quirk being noted as "useless", imo the person with the worst quirk is satou. sure he has strength enhancement but it relies entirely on his sugar intake. he'd have to carry sugar around with him constantly in order to activate his quirk, and even then it wears off after a short while (as can be seen from kiri + satou vs. cementoss in final practical exams) im not saying his quirk is completely useless, im just saying its not super efficient or reliable especially if he runs out of sugar. and unlike hagakure, he doesnt have the option of being super stealthy. (he's tall, buff and wears a bright yellow suit)

--

im not trying to slander hagakure or satou or jirou or anyone that ive mentioned, im trying to point out things that people ignore when faced with someone they dislike. (im guilty of that as well sometimes, which can probably be seen from this post itself)

but to people who say mineta > hagakure? stay 10 feet away from me please

i dont want to unpack how you think a sex offender is better than an invisible girl, but i can assume its because of the quirks, and quirks only. well buddy, please double back to what i said abt shinsous bullies

not the same, but similar

-

please let me know what u think as well, id like to hear anyone elses opinions on traitor!hagakure

[meltwonu]

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 3]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, anal play, panty stuffing, toys that have fake cum, a bit of drunk ‘n dom!seungcheol, masturbation, daddy!kink 😳😏 yall! and we are back! I’m sorry we had to take a pause from last week but hopefully we won’t have anymore issues! 😭😭  this chapter is about 6.5k so strap in for the ride yall! and as always, thank you all soooo much for the support and love on my fics T_T it means so much to me! 💕 I hope yall have a good weekend bbys!! 🍒 

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - ?

dom.cheol has donated $250

angelhan: :( i still cant believe i missed ur morning show…

chwenon: me too, i wouldn’t have stayed up til 6am had i known lol

sleepy_wonu: tbf, i couldve gotten kicked out of lab if i got caught watching… worth it tho

dom.cheol: i was at work but anything for u, baby.

You can’t help but pout at the camera reading the comments; knowing that some of your viewers were working or in class when you had done your surprise show. “Aww, m’sorry… I know it was so out of place for me but… You guys probably get it too, right?” You pause, sliding off of the pillow you were sitting on top of. You’d done a short show tonight; doing a strip tease for the camera before mounting a pillow and grinding against it until you came; fingertips gripping onto the silk as breathy moans spilled from your lips.  

“Y’know? When you wake up and you’re just so needy.”

hoshi_tiger_xx: all the time, baby!

gentleman_josh95: literally me this morning ;(

“Right? See you guys get me!” You giggle. The sound of donations and comments sound off in the background as you zone out for a second.

It had already been a couple days since then and this was your first show back. You and Seungcheol had texted sporadically; a little bit of awkwardness on both ends if you were completely honest. He seemed genuinely shy which was not what you expected at first but you also knew it must’ve been weird for him to suddenly have unrestricted access to you. Seungcheol seemed to be unsure of what he was able to ask you or talk to you about, even though you had assured him that you wanted to get to know him just like regular friends.

In your case, Seungcheol was undeniably hot and seemed to really like you which sent the butterflies in your stomach soaring each and every time your phone pinged.

kitty_junjun: hey can i ask a weird question

You tilt your head, eyes blinking cutely at the camera. “Of course!”

kitty_junjun: do u think you’ll ever have a show with someone else? Like a guest or sth? I know we’ve asked before but i’m just curious since your anniversary is comin up again...

Biting your lip, you watch as the others chime in, asking the same question. In truth, you had considered it maybe once or twice. But that came with risks. Not only would you have to find someone who was okay with being on camera with you, but you also ran the risk of losing viewers if they weren’t happy with who it was or how it turned out.

Seungcheol bites his lip reading the comments; he’d thought about it too.

He thought about if he’d be jealous, which he convinced himself he wouldn’t be. He would.

And whether or not he would pay to be the person to join you on cam and fuck you in front of all your viewers.

He definitely would.

“Mmm… I mean, I definitely thought about it before? But wouldn’t it be weird to see someone else on my shows? And, like, an actual… guy?” You watch the comments fly past, donations getting lost in the flurry of comments saying that you should do it.

universe_WZ: and miss the chance of seeing u getting fucked and put in ur place like a good girl?

universe_WZ: i will pay top dollar

alphagyu97: same

artist8hao: also same

dom.cheol: you already know how much we’d all love to see your cute lil cunt getting filled up with a real cock, sweetheart.

You bite your lip in thought, glancing at the camera with a coy expression. “Hmm, okay! I’ll keep thinking about it… I really want to but it’s gonna take some time to find the right person and make sure they’re okay with being on cam with me too~”

j__min: u should ask me, i cam sometimes too… we should collab ;)

Trying to hide the awkwardness, you laugh it off, tucking a few stray hairs behind your ear. “Oh? A camboy that watches me? That’s interesting~”

There were usually only 13 of your viewers who you considered to be your ‘regulars’ and you knew them all by their usernames. Of course, there were others who seemed to comment here and there and lots of anonymous donations and comments as well. But the newcomer seemed to be very interested in you and you weren’t sure how to take it just yet.

“Hmm~ Okay! I think I’m gonna end the show here! It’s getting kinda late now, huh? I ended up staying and chatting too long again~”

dom.cheol has donated $300

universe_WZ has donated $100

dom.cheol: it’s okay baby we like talking to u :)

sleepy_wonu: agreed

You stick your tongue out, winking at the camera before you say your goodbyes and last few thank you’s.

“I’ll see you guys next time~ Sleep well and dream of me!”

Seungcheol takes a deep breath, rolling his computer chair away from his desk as soon as you go offline. You’d been as cute as you normally were, but this time he felt like your lust filled eyes pierced the screen a little harder than usual.

He reaches for his phone, opening your text window before typing a quick response. ‘Great show tonight, baby. ;)’ Pausing, he wonders if it’s a little too weird to text right after you’d finished a show; but instead hits send. The read receipt shows up immediately after which alerts Seungcheol you already had your text window up when he messaged you.

babygirl 🍒 : i was just about to message u!! hehe, how are u?

Seungcheol bites his lip. Would it be too much to call? He ponders.

‘Hey, is it okay to call? If ur busy, it’s okay. Just figured it’d be quicker than typing.’ He hits send before he can regret it, watching as the read receipt shows up under his message again.

In a few seconds, it’s his phone that rings, your display name at the top as he accepts your call.

“Cheollie!” Seungcheol’s heart threatens to beat out of his chest at your nickname for him, hand clutching the phone tightly as he tries to calm himself down. “Hey, sweetheart. Sorry, you must be tired? I just thought this would’ve been quicker.” He chuckles, standing from his computer chair as he makes his way towards his bed.

“Oh, not at all! I’m just tidying up so I have you on speaker right now~ If that’s okay?”

“Mm, of course, baby.”

Seungcheol takes the time to lay in his bed, a deep sigh escaping him as he relaxes into the sheets. “Everything okay, ‘Cheol?” Your voice is soft and gentle; music to his ears as he stares at the ceiling.

“Yeah! Just… the comments have been weird, huh?” He ends it with an awkward laugh, hoping you knew exactly what he was talking about.

“Oh, are you talking about people asking me to invite someone or the new guy in the comments?” Seungcheol doesn’t know which he wants to talk about first. “I guess both?” He inquires, hoping that it’s not too prying.

You make a humming noise on the other end, deciding which one to address first. “Mm, I mean… I would love to have someone else on the show with me but I don’t know… Don’t you think it’d be weird? I feel like I’ve been doing my show for so long by myself but maybe I should start trying other stuff…” You trail off, leaving it open-ended for Seungcheol’s opinion.

“It’s ultimately up to you, sweetheart. But---But if you do, just promise me you’ll make sure everything with this person checks out, okay? I mean--I just want you to be safe, don’t let it just be some weirdo off the internet.” Seungcheol blushes, words leaving his lips in a hurried mess. Sometimes he hated how overprotective he was of you. “And--and make sure they take a STD test and stuff, y’know?” Your giggles pour out of the phone receiver as Seungcheol hides his face in one of his pillows.

“Is this in reference to the ‘j__min’ person offering their services?” Yes.

“No…” Seungcheol mutters, somehow already knowing that you didn’t believe it.

“‘Cheol~ don’t worry. I’m not gonna get into cahoots with someone I don’t know. And honestly, it kinda weirds me out how he came out of nowhere… Makes me wonder if he was some anonymous viewer or donator this entire time and then decided to have a name.” There’s a pause on your end; Seungcheol hearing the washing machine going off.

“And anyway, if I were to do a cam show with someone else, I think I’d want to know them really well, don’cha think? Like a friend, maybe?”

Seungcheol lets you go to sleep after 15 more minutes of chatting; making sure you down a glass of water and get some food delivered before he lets you go for the night.

He places his phone down onto the nightstand, tugging his shirt off as he stands. But his phone pings not a second later, confusion crossing his features as he picks it up.

‘Hey hyung, don’t forget we’re going to that new diner across town tomorrow after work!!! I’m gettin me some disco fries baby!!!! - ggukie’

Seungcheol ends work 30 minutes later than he should the next day and Jeongguk watches from the concession stand as Seungcheol trudges over, fingertips running through his silvery-blue hair as he sighs.

“Some kid fuckin’ puked in the restroom and nobody wanted to clean it up so guess who did.” He complains, leaning his head onto the cool countertop as Jeongguk pats his head comfortingly. “Not my job but you should’ve called someone else. Where was Yoongi-hyung?”

“Gone, as per usual. We both know he clocks out 30 minutes early.”

The two laugh half-heartedly, making sure they have their things before they leave for the night. The night shift crew had already checked in just a few minutes prior; Taehyung and Hoseok waving them off as they leave.

They hop into Seungcheol’s car; Jeongguk already fiddling with the radio controls as Seungcheol puts in the address for the new diner that had opened up. “I hope this place is good. It seems to get a lot of good reviews for a place that just opened up, like, two weeks ago.” Jeongguk nods, settling into his seat as Seungcheol pulls out of the parking lot.

“We live in a city that’s straight out of an episode of Riverdale. I mean, we work at a roller rink? And there’s diners all over? But we’re in the present day with present day technology? Soon we’ll be Archie and Jughead. Except I want to be Jughead since I have the tattoos so you can be Archie. Or we can both be, like, from the Serpents but I still want to be Jughead.”

Seungcheol raises a brow at Jeongguk’s references.

“I don’t know that show so all of that just went over my head.”

It takes approximately 30 minutes to get across town; the huge neon lights from the diner welcoming them into the parking lot as Seungcheol parks the car somewhere near the entrance.

“God, was it just me or did that take a long time? I’m fuckin’ starving.” Seungcheol mutters; hopping out of the driver’s seat. “I think you’re just hungry, hyung.” Jeongguk offers, jogging up to the other male as they make their way to the doors.

Thankfully, the place seemed relatively empty for a Thursday night, a lone male standing at the front of the diner in a pastel coloured uniform.

“Hey! Welcome to Dynamite, my name’s Jun! Table for two?” Seungcheol nods slowly, eyes narrowing at the male who, for whatever reason, seemed familiar.

Jun picks up two menus, guiding them to a booth in the far corner of the diner. “We’re just a little understaffed tonight so I’ll also be your server tonight! Can I get you guys some water to start?” The two nod as they sit in the multi-coloured booth. “Hey, can I ask you something?” Jun blinks, nodding slowly as Seungcheol peers up at him from where he’s seated.

“I feel like I’ve met you? It’s weird. I’m pretty sure we’ve never met though…?” Seungcheol trails off, confused eyes meeting Jun’s. Jun wracks his brain, unsure, but feeling the same way. “I dunno, I feel the same but I’m pretty sure we never met. Maybe a past life thing?”

Jeongguk laughs, eyes too focused on the menu in front of him. “Oh, that’d be weird as fuck.”

“Anyway, I’ll come back with your water!” Jun walks away, leaving Seungcheol and Jeongguk to go through the menu.

“Hey, Seungcheol-hyung?”

“Mm?”

“I know you said you’re usually busy on the weekends but I’m doing a PUBG stream on Saturday and was wondering if you wanted to hang? I asked Yoongi-hyung too and he’s coming over to drink and hang out.” Seungcheol’s lips press into a firm line, eyes burning holes into the menu in front of him.

Jeongguk was a video game streamer sometimes and his streaming schedule lined up with yours which is why Seungcheol almost never had a chance to watch or be a part of Jeongguk’s. “Um, what time is it at?”

“I’m thinking of streaming from like 6PM to midnight or somethin’. But you don’t have to be there the entire time! Just thought it’d be cool to hang out on the weekends for once.”

Seungcheol nods slowly, glancing up at Jeongguk who’s already staring back at him. “I can probably show up for a bit? I need to leave by 10 though, I, uh, sleep early sometimes.” He knows Jeongguk doesn’t buy it, but a smile paints itself onto the younger male’s face in an instant.

“Cool! Wow, didn’t think you’d say yes actually.”

The older male nods, a tight smile on his lips. Your cam schedule was almost always on time; Fridays, Saturdays, every other Monday, and every other Wednesday at 11PM. Sometimes you’d have surprise shows, like before, but you often kept to your schedule unless something important came up. “I know, I get so busy on the weekends, y’know?”

Jun comes back with their waters, setting them down on the table before fishing out a pad and paper to take their orders. “What are you doing on the weekends anyway? I feel like I’ve never asked directly but you never return my calls on Fridays and Saturdays.” Seungcheol freezes mid-order, hands gripping the laminated menu. “Um, and a cherry coke, please, thank you. And I told you ‘Guk, I… I just like to unwind on the weekends, I like to enjoy my quiet time so--so sometimes I just turn my phone off, y’know?.”

Jeongguk puts his order in with Jun who runs their order back before he walks off again. “Is working at the roller rink that bad? I know it can get wild sometimes but… are you thinking about quitting?”

In truth, Seungcheol had thought about it before when he was first starting out at the roller rink. But he also knew it paid too well for him to leave just yet. “Nah, just… it gets loud, y’know? I end up doing jobs around the place that I’m not qualified to do. And with Namjoon-hyung gone still, we’re shorthanded. I thought about picking up another job for some extra cash, but with what time?” Seungcheol grabs his glass of water, lips puckered around the plastic straw as he takes a sip.

“You should cam!”

Water sprays all over the table as Seungcheol sputters, choking on the liquid. “The---what!?” Jun runs over with a stack of pink tissues, helping to wipe up the water as Jeongguk stares from across the table with a wide grin. He waits until Jun leaves again; eyes fixated on Seungcheol and the crimson blush that coats his cheeks and ears. “It’d be easy money for you. You’re not exactly ugly, and you can cover your face!”

“Why exactly are you suggesting that!? Why’d you go straight for that!?” Seungcheol screams under his breath.

“Let’s be real, it’s crossed my mind so it’s probably crossed yours too. You can always just game too, but if you need cash quick y’know… And hey, I have some extra equipment so…” Jeongguk trails off, wiggling his eyebrows at Seungcheol suggestively.

Seungcheol had actually thought about that too. Maybe once or twice.

But after he’d spoken to you and found out just how difficult it really was to keep your viewers engaged and how difficult it was trying to find new ideas to bring to your cam show, he knew it wasn’t as easy as most people thought it’d be. You always put in extra effort in your cam shows and it was a whole production with effort and ideas. Sometimes it took you days to even come up with a theme for a show and sometimes it didn’t do as well as you’d hoped.

“Um, if I ever do, I’ll let you know ‘Guk.”

Saturday comes sooner than Seungcheol knows and he’s antsy. He could barely even enjoy your cam show from the night prior knowing that he had to haul ass back home after Jeongguk’s stream. He plots out the drive home; times it just perfectly so he still has some spare time to relax before your show starts.

For a second, he wonders if it was the right decision or if he should’ve just stayed home like he normally did. But he quickly shakes the thoughts out of his head; glad to get out of his apartment and spend time with his friends on the weekends for once.

He makes it to Jeongguk’s place on time, a box of beer tucked under his arm when he knocks on the door. Shockingly, it’s Yoongi on the other end who greets him; a lopsided smile on his face as he ushers Seungcheol inside. “‘Guk was setting up so…”

“I brought more beer! He said you were spending the night on his sofa so drink all you want, hyung.” Yoongi nods, plopping back down onto the sofa as Seungcheol makes his way towards Jeongguk’s PC room.

The entire room is lined with LEDs, posters of anime and various video games lining all the spaces between the soundproofing pads that Jeongguk haphazardly attached to the wall.

“Yooo, how’s the setup coming?”

“I’m almost ready!”

It takes 20 more minutes of Jeongguk fiddling before he sits in his expensive gaming chair; Seungcheol close behind as he watches the younger male pull up the loading screen. “You’re not drinking, hyung?”

Seungcheol shakes his head, legs crossed as he leans back in the spare desk chair. “Nah, I drove here. Gotta be responsible, kid.” Jeongguk shakes his head, placing his headset and mic on before starting his stream.

“Hey guys! Welcome back to Golden Closet Gaming! I’m doing a PUBG stream tonight and one of my closest friends is here so if you hear him on the mic, that’s definitely not a ghost this time!” A concerned look crosses Seungcheol’s features but he laughs lightly. “Hey guys, I’m Seung---I’m, uh… I’m---SCOUPS!” He blurts out in a hurry; using his gaming username instead.

“And I’m your main player, JK!”

Watching Jeongguk game so seriously is interesting for Seungcheol. They take a break an hour and a half into Jeongguk’s streaming session to get food and drinks; immediately going back to the PC room right after.

But it makes Seungcheol wonder what it was like on your end to always be alone filming in your bedroom to thousands of people in such an intimate setting. For a second, it makes him sad, wondering if you ever felt lonely after your shows were over. Or if you were so tired and could barely take care of yourself.

I would’ve gladly been the one to take care of you after your shows, he thinks.

“Fuck you too, asshole! Get the fuck out!”

Jeongguk’s screaming brings him out of his sad thoughts; a brow raised as he peers at the screen. How the younger male had the energy to game for so long was beyond him sometimes.

“Uhhh anyway comments are asking what I should stream next week? I dunno, give me some ideas? Not the SIMS again though...” Jeongguk mutters. “Oh, j__min said I should play The Last of Us?”

The name has Seungcheol perking up in an instant, leaning over Jeongguk’s shoulder as his eyes dance over the comments.

j__min: bro u were supposed to stream that like 4 streams ago, wtf 

seokGENIE: its a good game tho, id be interested in seeing how badly u do

j__min: actually yea me too lmao

Seungcheol’s eyes narrow slightly. Surely it couldn’t be? He thinks. The typing style wasn’t the same at all but the username was, which sent Seungcheol’s mind into a frenzy at the possibility.

But unfortunately for Seungcheol, Jeongguk launches into another match which means he had to wait another time to ask about it. He notes it mentally, making sure to get answers as soon as he can.

10PM comes sooner than Seungcheol expects and he lets Jeongguk know when it’s 9:50PM and while they’re in the middle of a break that he needs to go.

“Damn, where did time go? But okay, hyung! Sorry we didn’t really talk and I just gamed the entire time but maybe next time we can actually do something else? Go out for drinks maybe?” He shoots the older male his best puppy eyes until Seungcheol sighs and gives in, nodding as he fishes for his car keys.

“I’ll see you at work, okay?”

Seungcheol waves at Yoongi still glued to the sofa; a tiny wave of his own as he wishes Seungcheol a safe drive home.

He makes it home at exactly 10:32PM, toeing his shoes off before shucking off his jacket and tossing it onto the back of the sofa. He shuffles to the kitchen and grabs a few beers out of the fridge; already downing two entire bottles before he even makes it to his PC.

The buzz feels good when he sits down, taking a swig of his third bottle as he boots up his computer. In the meantime, he checks his phone, scrolling through apps and deleting notifications.

A text pops up at the top of his phone’s screen.

babygirl 🍒 : see u soon :)

Seungcheol smirks; ego inflated knowing that he was the only one getting that text message.

He checks the clock, 10:56PM, and loads up your profile, simultaneously finishing off his third can of beer since he’d gotten home.

For whatever reason, you’re nervous when you finally sit down in front of your camera setup tonight. You adjust your baby pink lace bra that Seungcheol had gotten you; a cherry blush on your cheeks as the giddiness pours over you.

Checking the clock, you notice it’s already 10:59PM, finger hovering over the ‘rec’ button before pressing it.

It takes a second before the comments already start flooding in; the sound of donations and comments flying across the screen in an instant.

“Whoa~ You guys are so eager tonight, huh? Already so many donations! Thank you!” You shift slightly onto your side, biting your lip. “We’re already so close to the minimum donations for me to start… what’s up with you guys?”

tangerine_kwan: I’m so glad to see u, yesterday was not enough

therealchan99: fuckin talk abt it dude, i almost quit my job im stressed i need to see u princess

dom.cheol has donated $500

dom.cheol: fuck, baby i need to see your pretty lil pussy already i’m so fuckin hard

Your eyes go wide with Seungcheol’s massive donation. He usually waited until you were mid-show or towards the end to donate such huge amounts of money and yesterday he seemed relatively quiet during your show. It threw you off slightly, but you just assumed he might’ve just been going through some things at the time. “Seems like you guys had a rough week, huh?”

xcaliburDK: gOD u dont even know, ur literally my stress relief, beautiful

kitty_junjun: yea i just started working at a new place and its… weird, just glad to be off today

Pouting at the camera, you lean in a little closer. “Hmm, guess I should start then, shouldn’t I~? Since you all seem like you need a ‘lil escape~”

gentleman_josh95 has donated $45

sleepy_wonu has donated $70

sleepy_wonu: please put us out of our misery, baby

You can’t help but giggle, sliding the bra straps down your shoulders before you unhook the material and toss it to the other side of the bed. “This cute setup didn’t last very long this time! Should I upload some pics later to my private room?”

alphagyu97: plz

chwenon: yes yes yes lewds plz

“Okay~” You pause, fingertips hooked onto the sides of your panties. “I actually… wanted to try a new toy…” You murmur, shyness taking over as you slowly slide your already wet panties down your thighs. Sitting back down, you slide them off completely before you place them next to you, glancing at the comments as you cross your ankles.

artist8hao: wait was that…

universe_WZ: i think so

hoshi_tiger_xx: plz plz plz let us seeeeee

dom.cheol has donated $200

dom.cheol: spread your legs, sweetheart. Let daddy see.

You clench your teeth at the arousal that pools in your lower abdomen; shaky legs parting towards the camera. Squirming slightly, the plug that you had eased into your ass shifts, making you mewl at the feeling. You’d tried using your fingers in the past, but by far, the toy was the biggest you’d used yet.

“I--I… I bought this toy m-myself ‘cause I wanted to… wa--wanted to… start learning how to t-take cock in my ass too…”

The way you sit on the bed has the toy fully seated inside of you, toes curling against the bed sheets as your hazy eyes flit to the camera. “I dunno how long I’m gonna last, it feels so good~” You moan, grinding against the sheets underneath you.

angelhan has donated $150

angelhan: i’m begging please, panty stuffing

You bite your lip, eyes dancing over to the lace material sitting next to you. “Hmm~ I don’t think I’ve ever done that on my show before… Should I try it?” You ask cutely, flashing the camera a cheeky smile. The donations pour in like rain; the pinging making your stream lag for a second as it tries to keep up.

dom.cheol has donated $400

tangerine_kwan has donated $100

dom.cheol: fuck, sweetheart lets see you get those panties fucking soaked

universe_WZ has donated $200

“Guess we have our answer?” You laugh airily, reading a few of the comments that were basically begging you to.

Spreading your legs as wide as you can, you maneuver yourself against your pillows; grabbing the lacy material. You quickly adjust the camera with a remote, zooming in until it’s focused on your soaking folds. “Ngh, I’m already so fuckin’ wet… this plug is really making me feel so full~”

dom.cheol: i bet your cute lil ass could barely take my fuckin cock huh

“Mmh, is daddy gonna fuck my ass and make me cum nice and hard?”

yes, yes yes, god yes!

Seungcheol could die right now and be happy.

He wraps a hand around his cock, hips shallowly thrusting up into his closed fist as he watches you run your own fingertips through your wet folds before you sink two of them into your tight pussy. His eyes flutter shut, the image of himself fucking your tight ass as you whine and beg for his cum dancing behind his eyelids.

The alcohol in his body has him on edge even quicker; the grip he has on his cock loosening so he doesn’t cum as quickly.

“A-ah… g--guess it’s time to try this…” You whisper, reaching for the lacy panties. You drag the material up your thigh teasingly, swinging it around your wet fingertips before you place it against your entrance.

You take a deep breath, slowly pushing the panties into your pussy.

tangerine_kwan: oh my god oh my god

alphagyu97: fuck thsts so hot fuck

angelhan: spread your legs more, please god

Your lust filled eyes glance towards the comments, shakily spreading your legs as far as they can go. “O-oh god it--it feels suh--so good…” You mewl, pressing the material further and further into your pussy.

“It’s d-different but… but it’s--it’s--mmh!” 

You’re cumming before you know it, toes curling against the sheets as you cum around the toy in your ass and your fingers and panties deep inside your pussy.

Your legs threaten to clamp shut in an instant, which you fight off; the sound of donations and coins clinking flooding your eardrums. “I--fuh--fuck, I--I didn’t know I was gonna c-cum from that!” You let out a breathy laugh, moaning as you continue to push the panties inside of you until the fabric is completely gone from the camera’s view.

chwenon: now will u sell those

hoshi_tiger_xx: please once again i am begging I AM BEGGING

“Aww~ I wish I could… but you guys know my rules~” You pout; body warm and fuzzy after your first, unexpected orgasm. “God, I didn’t… I really didn’t know that’d make me cum so easily~”

dom.cheol: fuck sweetheart, your cute lil cunt cums so fuckin easily

“I know~ I have such a greedy pussy… Always want something filling me up…” You wink at the camera, reaching for a toy that was out of view. “I have another toy~ hehe, tonight is just full of new things, huh?”

You show the toy off to the camera, shifting so that you're on your knees instead. “It looks like a regular dildo right? But it’s full of cum! Not real cum anyway, but cum lube… It’s not the same but it’ll have to do for now~”

therealchan99: oh fuck oh god

sleepy_wonu: aww is the princess gonna let it cum in her cute ass?

artist8hao has donated $75

kitty_junjun has donated $50

dom.cheol: lets see that ass fuckin take all that cock baby

dom.cheol: let it cum in ur pretty lil hole

dom.cheol: fuck

You zoom your camera back out, turning to your side enough so that you could still see your monitor but also still be in frame. “Yeah? Does daddy wanna see how a good girl takes cock in her ass?” Moaning, you reach behind you, fingers on the end of the plug as you slowly pull it out. The stretch makes your back arch slightly; legs trembling when the larger part of the toy finally breaches past the puckered muscle.

The sudden emptiness only makes you reach for the dildo faster, covering it with lube before you place it against your ass. “D’you think I can take it?”

tangerine_kwan: i kno u can baby

sleepy_wonu: yes eys yes

dom.cheol: daddy knows u can, sweetheart

You place the toy at your puckered hole, biting your lip and telling yourself to relax before you slowly start easing it into your ass. “O-oh fuck…” You had made sure the toy was on the smaller size since it was your first time but the stretch of it still had your body tensing up almost immediately.

It takes a long and torturous minute until the toy is fully seated in your ass; body buzzing at the sensation. “G-god it--fuck, it feels even better than the plug~” You whine, maneuvering until you were sitting down on the toy completely.

You let your body adjust to the new feeling for a moment before you’re bouncing on the dildo, loud cries and garbled moans spilling from your lips. The new feeling has you chasing your high insanely fast; tuning out the comments and noises as you focus on your own pleasure.

Your mind can’t help but imagine Seungcheol again; his hands roaming your skin and his deep voice growling filthy praises into your ear as he fucks you from behind. You clench around the toy and the panties still in your pussy, wrecked sobs on your lips at the thought.

Before Seungcheol, you always imagined nameless hands on your body or even resorted to thinking about other videos you’d seen to help get you off. Some days it was harder and some days you were cumming in under five minutes. But now that Seungcheol had a name and face to you, it was impossible for you to imagine anyone else fucking you.

“Shi---it, I--I wanna cum!”

dom.cheol: already? Fuckin greedy lil ass

dom.cheol: cum, sweetheart. Let daddy cum in ur tight ass too

universe_WZ has donated $100

alphagyu97 has donated $75

You alternate from bouncing on the dildo to swiveling your hips; reaching a free hand down to rub circles around your swollen clit. “Already? Can I cum?” You whisper, mind already a puddle of goo now that you were so close.

kitty_junjun: cum

xcaliburDK: cum

chwenon: cum

dom.cheol: you heard them, sweetheart. Cum. Now.

Seungcheol’s grip on his cock tightens after he sends the comment; growls spilling from his lips as he watches you bounce on the toy. His cock throbs in his hold, already feeling himself just as close to his orgasm as you were to yours.

“Fu--fuck I’m cumming! D---daddy!” You cry, slamming yourself down onto the toy as you cum hard. Seungcheol bites his lip to keep in his own screams; streaks of cum landing on his shirt and jeans as he works himself through his own orgasm.

He tries to keep his eyes focused on you in the midst of his orgasm, watching as you squeeze the base of the dildo until the cum inside starts to pour into your ass. “O--oh god!” You mewl, still thrusting the toy into your ass.

Seungcheol’s mouth goes dry when you reach a shaky hand between your legs, fingertips dipping into your pussy and pulling the soaked lace until half of it is in view of the camera. His grip on his cock tightens, moans on his lips when you then slowly start pulling the dildo out of your ass; the fake lube immediately spilling out of your ass and onto the bed sheets and sliding down onto the panties.

universe_WZ: oh my god oh ymg f

xcaliburDK: eyeeeeeee

kitty_junjun: i

You push the fake cum out, soft cries on your lips as the last bits of your orgasm roll through your body. The fake cum feels slightly cold which sends a shiver up your spine as it drips down your legs.

“Mmh… god that---that was intense…” You mumble, upper body slumping against the sheets.

You reach a hand between your legs again, making sure you’re in the camera’s view when you tug on the panties again; this time pulling them all the way out as you groan.

alphagyu97: if ur not selling those can it be a giveaway

alphagyu97: make it a raffle

You toss the soiled fabric to the side, mindful of the puddle of fake cum soaking into the sheets as you readjust your tired self in front of the camera. “You guys really want these, huh?” You laugh, responding to a few other stray comments asking for the soaked material. Your entire body is tingling from all the new sensations, mind going a mile a minute with the adrenaline coursing through your veins.

Slumping forward, you thank your viewers again, yawning as you stretch out. “I think I need a bubble bath now~ ‘m so messy!”

hoshi_tiger_xx: we love a messy girl ;)

therealchan99: fuck yea we do

Letting a few more viewers leave donations, you start saying your goodbyes; wishing everyone a good weekend before you blow a kiss to the camera and sign off.

Seungcheol sends one last donation of $550, jaw clenched and cock still throbbing.

He reaches for his phone on instinct, opening your text window. Pausing, he grins. Maybe it was the alcohol in his system but he opens his camera app, flipping it so that it’s on him as he snaps picture after picture of his cum covered torso and his free hand still wrapped around his hard cock.

Smirking, he opens your text window again, thumb dancing across the keyboard with renewed energy.

‘fuck, princess. your fuckin show got me so hard. those panties were fuckin soaking from how much u liked getting ur ass fucked huh? I bet i could get u to cum just from me fuckin your cute lil ass... probably wouldnt even need to touch ur clit or fuck your cunt to get your tight walls cummin for me. but ur a greedy lil thing arent u? probably would still want a toy to keep that pussy nice n sated. fuck, im still hard even tho i already came once.’

He hits send before he thinks twice, quickly attaching a few of his own pictures before he locks his phone and tosses it onto his desk.

Seungcheol’s body is sensitive from his first orgasm still, but his hips thrust up into his closed palm again; head leaning up against the headrest as he lets out harsh breaths. His eyes flutter shut, eyelashes tickling his skin.

This time his imagination runs wild; hands tangled in your hair while he tugs on it, forcing your back straight against his chest as he fucks into you hard and fast. He imagines your sweet voice begging him to let you cum, walls tight around his cock when you fall apart on it.

“Fuck!” He cums hard, body rigid as his free hand digs into the armrest and the air is knocked out of his lungs.

Seungcheol vaguely hears his phone pinging in the background; mind hazy as the waves of his orgasm wash over his body.

When he starts to come down, he slumps against the chair, sleepiness already taking over with his two orgasms and the alcohol still in his system. He mentally makes a note to get rid of his soiled clothes another time, tiredly reaching for his phone.

He stares at it through his blurry vision, barely making out your name before he blinks the tiredness away enough to read your message.

babygirl 🍒: hehe~ does daddy want my panties then? i’ll gladly give them to u if u want them~ 😚

[onmymasa22]

Right now i feel inspired. To create, to take over the world. Where i dont know what life will bring, where it will take me, but i just want to create. I want to fall in love with painting. I want thick and squeezing and hands into something. Tomorrow i hope to hashem that ill have the same desire to paint and love life.

Hashem this year, i want to remember that you are with me. Because im human and i forget sometimes. Friends are important so that we never feel alone.

Sometimes people come to me for advice and all i can do is tell them that they aren't alone, because im there to help or just be with them. And

I feel like its different when ur with other people and when ur with me. I dont know exactly what it is. Maybe its a different sparkle in your eye. You look like youre happy. I just see something different in you. Like you just look at me and i melt. When you told me you wanted to make those three to ten kids with me. When you told me i couldve come in pajamas. When you didnt care that my breathe smelt like garlic. When you told me that im beautiful inside and out. I see a different light in you. The way you look in my eyes. The way you smile while looking at me. The way holding you just feels like the ocean. I love making you breathe deeply or when you give me a hard time. Or when someone said i had a boney butt, but you said u like my butt. I like it when u said ur smiling and laughing so hard your face hurts. When we're with others its ok. But when we're together, i see something different. I see a twinkle. I see how beautiful u are. You are such a beautiful man.

I want a husband who is so inlove with me. Who is so grateful im in his life. Who needs to be around me. Who will check with me before physical stuff. Who accepts me for everythibg i am and everything im not. Who pushed me to be better. Who can communicate and is positive and happy. Who loves me when hes happy, not when hes sad or lonely.

After a while of not being happy, but for no good reason, and then not being happy for all the reasons, i finally feel happy. And it doesnt have to do with any kind of situation differnce. Teachers are still annoying, friends share my secrets. But i stopped caring. I just call them a pineapple and keep going. They want to be upset, let them, they want to give me stumbling blocks, ill be okay. I just want to enjoy each and every day that i have.

He texted me that im really nice and cute and I'm a good person but I'm not for him. That's ok. Maybe we'll be friends instead. It was a nice run. It's my dating for purim time. I was hopeful and i kind of treat people like we're already friends. Ahhh maybe he wants to have sex with someone. Thats cool. Its not me, but its cool. We can go to being friends. It was all fake. The wanting to be closer, the compliments, all of it. Everything he said was a lie. And im still me. Im still ok. Im pissed. Im frustrated. I saw more than maybe there was. Maybe we dont vibe. Maybe he likes eli.

Ok. We kind of broke it off today. I dont let people see me sweat. I dont act emotional. I kind of just use my brain. I need to heal myself. That isnt his responsibility to do. Now, with myself i can be emotional. I need to heal myself. It was three weeks, but it was a good three weeks.

I need to just go through my feelings. I kind of just clam up. Like i wont let them see me sweat. And thats ok. I love myself. Im proud of myself. I appreciate myself. I am inoove with myself and i just need to show myself love.

I was this day old when i had a relationship where i was fully me. I was comunicative. I

Me getting angry at you, it means i cared. See, i dont care enough about anybody and thats not always a good thing. It feels sometimes like nothing hurts me when u dont let people inside. I dont plan on anyone staying, i dont plan on people sticking by their words or actions. People get to do whatever they want. They can choose me, or wont. Ill still be here thinking i deserve the world. My worth doesnt corespobd to being chosen. Is a flower not as beautiful because no one picked it. Dalya, you are a flower no one paid attention to. The right person will pick u but people who aren't right will spend a few weeks with you anf understand that they aren't the right ones.

Im having trouble with this life. I want to b ok.

I want a guy who will just be good to me. Someone who loves me and accepts me no matter what. Someone who believes in hashem with all their being. Someone who stands by their word. Someone who makes me be better. Someone i can love and accept and make them better.

A young guy says to a rabbi- im having a really hard time with with davening. How can i work on it? The rabbi then asks, what do you like? The young man said i like chessed. So the rabbi says, put davening asside. Work on chessed. Everyone is shocked. The man says well how do i work on chessed? The rabbi says- start small. When you walk into a room, and a person is in the room, say hello. If a kid is in the room, say hello to the kid. If hashem is in the room, say hello to hashem

I think youre an asshole. I think if i had lower self asteem or i actually trusted u, u would b really damaging. I think guys like you are assholes. U r just grimy, and i am not grimy. A part of me is bothered that u continue on like u r decent and ur not. Youre slimy. And a part of me wishes i could tell u how slimy u r, how i wish i never knew u, how i wish u wouldnt text me again. A part of me thinks that you should just disappear into the darkness of my past. Maybe that part of me is all of me. The part of me that wants for that to disappear.

I just wanted to say thank you for creating a space where i can go out with my phone on 13 percent battery and know that ill be fine because its a space to connect with people and im barrly on my phone. Almost every event i find myself having a

I just wanting to say thank you for creating a forum where I dont need to care whether I have battery on my phone. I know that I can come to an event with my phone on 13% and be totally okay because it's about deep connections with whoever is around me, and not being on a cellphone.

Dalya

because the energy is to connect with people, not to be on my phone. Its a space where i

Things that show me im on the right path:

Shai barzilai told me that there's something wild about me and i need to let it out. That "i have it". To keep drawing alot. I said i work fast but not good, he said i work great.

When rachel keeny said that im an artist. And i was like what?! She was like you're an artist. I said im never sure that im in the right place. She said you are.

When meir says that what i did was interesting. When he says that it finds favor in his eyes. The smile and his eyes when he looks at it.

Things that give me energy:

Creating art

Volunteering with old people

I want to read book, to paint and draw and sculpt.

I started out as a star. And hashem said, do you want to go to earth for an insanely short period of time and feel every emotion that exists.

I lived, i loved, and i felt it all.

I love the look on yonatans face when hed sit and watch me draw and id look at him and he'd smile. Like watching me work gave him pleasure.

I want to learn how to draw with dry pastels Marriage will not make me happy. Having a good job will not make me happy. I could be married and be unhappy. I could be single and be unhappy. I really just want to be happy.

I was in a guest bedroom

And i remember looking in the mirror at myself and telling myself that today you are going to say everything that comes into your head. So its a memory of pointing at myself in the mirror.

The next thing is me bleeding from my face, my nose and my eyes and everything. Blood on the floor. Its sitting on the floor and knowing that im gonna live, i checked to see if i still had my legs, if i still had my arms, if all my teeth were still in my mouth.

Saying no was scary. Because the courage it takes to say know is all the energy in your body. But then if you say no amd they ignore you, you feel invisible. And the feeling of being invisible, is the worst feeling in the world. So you would rather blame yourself for not saying anything, than deal with the fact that you clumpt together all the courage in your body and it didnt do anything.

Yaakov was a gilgul of adam and thats why yaakov was the most beautiful- he wasnt born, he was created by hashem.

When yosef refuses to sleep with her. It uses the word refuse. And theres a shalaheles about the word meaning a chain linking it to somewhere else. The word is found where it talks about yaakov refusing to b comforted to believe that yosef is dead until he sees a dead body. Because yosef says, he wont give up on himself, because he believes that his father didnt give up on him yet

On this purim i am letting myself breathe. I am letting myself be slow. I am letting the feeling that ive pent up inside come out. I am crying freely and letting myself feel sad and homesick and grateful at the same time. I am healing. And this is what my healing looks like. I am going through stuff that i dont want to talk about. I have a wheel of feelings that are different all the time. I just want life to stop so i can feel. But it doesnt, so i tske it easy and try to enjoy the ride.

Im trying to convince myself that im better off without that. That I'm not missing out on anything real or worthy. Im sad now. And im far away. And i want to be back in my happy self. I just want to daven. And be who i am. I am light. I am everything good. I am perfection deep down. I have some dirt still that i got back into. But hey, i kept shabbat all year except for once. I want to be a beam of light again. I need good energy. Energy that matches who i want to be.

I think the biggest part about my trauma is that i stopped trusting ppl enough to be hut by them. I stopped showing them i was hurt. I wont let them feel like they hurt me. It doesn't mean they didnt, but it means my guard is always up. I cant let my guard down. Duh.

When i tell u ir try to convince u im not a good person, its a lie. Its a facade because i dont want u to know how good i am. So its like a mask. But actually, im so good and pure. And i dont know if the lie works. But its also a wall. If someone hurts me knowing how good i am, it hurts more than thinking i deserve it. Its easier to blame mysekf than to blsme someone else as just being an asshole.

I am the girlfriend who will call and just listen to you breathe. I will make u laugh and hold you when i can. I am the type to love with such passion and loyalty. I am such a gift. I am light. I am not like other girls. I am beautiful inside and out.

I am waiting for the one who thinks he is so lucky to have me. Who wants to spend every second of every day with me. Who answers my phonecalls. Im the girl who will stay. Who will try to gigure out how to deal with whatever. Who will have the conversations. I want everyone to love everything about me. I am the girl a guy should want to marry from first sight. He'll see me and know. Then he'll talk to me and really know. He should be the best person ever.

I realized, there's not one teacher who will talk about my hagasha that ill respect or appreciate their opinion.

אנחנו בשנה ג. אז היו לי הגשות שהרגיש טוב, והיו הגשות שפגע בי אישית שהייתי צריכה להרגע אחר כך כי לא ציפיתי. עכשיו הגעתי למקום שאני מרוצה, ואני צריכים להגיד את הדעות שלכם בתור מרצים, וחצי מכם לא תאהובו את מה שעשיתי לא משנה מה, רק בגלל שזאת אני. ואני אומרת לעצמי שזה משקף אתכם, לא אני. ואני לא מצפה לדברים טובים.

[petewentzisblack1312]

who are some of your favorite fall out boy tumblr accounts and why are they your favorite ?

@ofalltheginjoints bestie, funnie and also another black fob fan! and also GREAT edits altho those are on pause til they get a new computer

@shouldntdaresleep is just like a beloved mutual. also has very VERY good edits and tbh is kind of how my reputation as the fob dissertation writer that i am came to be, bc they said something that urged me to post my powerpoint and now here i am!

@queenoffakers another beloved mutual i love seeing in my reblogs

@deathchic ruby will just dm me some galaxy brained take about a random fall out boy song and then we will scream at each other and its so great

@pmvstump bestie. ive known jace for like. 6 years now? jeez. they were like the only poc fan i knew when i got here, and i think if i didnt have them id have been too frustrated with the little nuggets of racism to stick around as long as i have. we learn a lot from each other too, and we can always count on each other to call the other out. plus theyve done their fair share of work in keeping the fob fandom specifically safe. thank u for your service.

@souryogurt64 girl loves pete and turned that into a full career. we love to see a girlboss winning. unironically though shes kept such a meticulous record of stuff that its helpful, even if she doesnt fully understand how important some of it is due to not being black the fact that she kept it has done so much for black fall out boy fans generally, without even knowing. also theres so many just like. one off moments that couldve or even shouldve been lost to time that we still have due to her dedicated work that she does purely for petes sake. (hehe)

@falloutboyfan18 mostly because i just like her vibe. the entire fall out boy fandom could burn to the ground and the sun could explode and cops could sprout wings and alexis would still be posting pictures of patrick stump with "this man is literally perfection" in the tags and using funky colours and fonts in her life update posts. like shes very normal and i love that for her plus i love her hair. she doesnt care what everyone else is doing shes just posting pics of our favourite malewife and having the time of her life. i like her cat too hes very cute though she doesnt post him often.

theres other blogs too! aja and atlas are great too but i cant rmr their @ right this second rip but theyre hilarious. like this is a small community of people and im bad with names but theres a lot of folks in my comments and replies and reblogs, some who i dont follow because im not quite into their content, or theyre too young for me to feel okay doing so, who are so lovely and still favourites of mine!!