#and she makes it seem so easy
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#i wanna scream#why is work always so exhausting and boring at the same time??#and i’m slightly annoyed/jealous of the other student worker#like she’ll be doing her third internship soon (so i’ll have even more workload yay)#but also… it’s so hard to get internships in this industry#and she makes it seem so easy#also she’ll go on a year abroad to new zealand next year???#how does she have so many plans and i’m just like.#already struggling with getting my degree and the student job???#janna talks
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“I had a dream, though,” I say, thinking back. “I was following a mockingjay through the woods. For a long time. It was Rue, really. I mean, when it sang, it had her voice.”
“Where did she take you?” he says, brushing my hair off my forehead.
“I don’t know. We never arrived.” I say. “But I felt happy.”
...
Peeta pulls the chain with the gold disk from around his neck. He holds it in the moonlight so I can clearly see the mockingjay. Then his thumb slides along a catch I didn’t notice before and the disc pops open. It’s not solid, as I had thought, but a locket. And within the locket are photos. […]
“Your family needs you, Katniss,” Peeta says.
My family. My mother. My sister. And my pretend cousin Gale. But Peeta’s intention is clear. That Gale really is my family, or will be one day, if I live. That I’ll marry him. So Peeta’s giving me his life and Gale at the same time. To let me know I shouldn’t ever have doubts about it. Everything. That’s what Peeta wants me to take from him.
...
He puts the chain with the locket around my neck, then rests his hand over the spot where our baby would be. “You’re going to make a great mother, you know,” he says.
...
As I drift off, I try to imagine that world, somewhere in the future, with no Games, no Captiol. A place like the meadow in the song I sang to Rue as she died. Where Peeta’s child could be safe.
....
#the hunger games#everlark#eablog gifs#eablog quotes#i always wondered why they didn't make peetas locket have the mockingay like it does in the book#and the design doesnt have any real significance which is frustrating#it vaguely looks like wheat or i thought for a while it was meant to look like the stained glass in the victors village houses#but it doesnt#putting the mockingjay on it does mean something symbolically though#like hes trying to give her the future he thinks she wants and that the rebellion might bring#but ends up also giving her the pearl which she actually cherishes#kind of by accident just because hes thoughtful which is part of why she loves him#its such a good parallel and would have been an easy visual to carry through so weird that they just didnt? for no real apparent reason?#ALSO HE WANTED TO MATCH HER WHICH IS JUST#theyre a teammm#AND the mockingjay means something different for katniss than everyone thinks#and peeta is one of the only people that seems to understand that?#for her it symbolizes family ties not the rebellion#AND HE PUTS IT ON A LOCKET WITH HER FAMILY IN IT#but she really wants to have a family with him not gale so the mockingjay still does symbolize the future and their family#so him giving it to her is significant but not in the way he thinks#AND its like hes reclaiming the mockingjay for her again in some small way when everyone is taking it for themselves and using it#i actually cannot with them
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Thinking about the symbolic weight of smoking in the TLT universe that comes to the fore in The Unwanted Guest -- the way it moves through from person to person: Pyrrha smoked, and Augustine wanted to impress her in all her stone cold fox MILF James Bond glory (and tbf who wouldn't) so he started too. and even though as far as he knows she's been gone for a myriad and is never coming back, he keeps the habit. Ianthe sees something in the hollowed-out Faberge eggshell of Augustine that resonates with her, all that gilded eloquent emptiness and disdain through the ages, so she picked it up from him to try to emulate it. She picked it up so hard that Palamedes -- the exact spiritual antithesis of the 'smoking! on a space station! what a powermove' ennui Ianthe so admired -- spontaneously unnerded enough to even known how to, simply from a sort of contact contamination of the soul.
G1deon and Augustine sharing a jittery smoke after their near-Harrow experience during soup night, and it's the closest thing to any real sense of brotherhood that remains between them. Pyrrha going ten thousand years dying both literally and for a smoke (and then Camilla sold her fucking cigarettes (for a third of what they were worth, probably Pyrrha's own good, and also more importantly grocery money). what an entirely haunted time to be alive etc.). Augustine and Mercy trading a cigarette back and forth in the middle of their collusion over the love and murder of god.
An act of small and measured self-destruction in the name of something a little bit like connection when you're stuck somewhere in yourself where love itself dares not or cannot tread (ritualized, transmissible)..........
#the unwanted guest#the unwanted guest spoilers#the locked tomb#ianthe tridentarius#augustine the first#pyrrha dve#palamedes sextus#this series is going to make me lose my mind completely one day (affectionate)#the locked tomb meta#the fact that ianthe seems to have had some genuine admiration for augustine makes my head spin. of course though.#of course she sees the person who looks the most like he's successfully made himself impervious to the world#utterly untouchable and impossible to hurt because he isn't even really there#and she believes it! even after seeing the john mercy augustine mess at the end! because it's such a seductive idea#when you've stuck yourself in an inevitable ocean of pain to think you could make yourself numb enough that it doesn't matter#it's the emotional equivalent of 'oh there's water all around? well I just won't breathe in then. easy lmao get on my level'#she holds on to that thing from him even when it's been proved to be both impossible and ultimately untrue even in him#because uh. oh I'm about to be kind of sad for ianthe what the fuck is going on. he might actually have been the closest thing#to parental and especially paternal affection she's ever known. certainly known enough to try to model herself after#IMAGINE how fucked up the nine houses must be when augustine the first registers for anyone as a model of psychological survival#ianthe do you really want to be yourself completely so much that you're willing to be nothing. I mean yeah probably but. oh my god#gaining nothing at the cost of everything
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very sad still see the saria/silence divorce headcanon still going around
have you ever tried to consider that they never dated before lone trail because it would be unrealistic with the timeline and the events and also because it would be overshadowing the actual truth of why they couldn't get along
#i'll elaborate#firstly it's ok if you headcanon this i don't want to invalidate what people think#it's just that I think it's a fanon joke that have been going around for way too long#and I can't help but shed a small tear when I see people really headcanoning it#I personally think it's way more interesting if we consider that they never had something going on before Lone Trail#mostly because it's weird that they started dating in like some months when they barely knew or saw each other#but also because it adds nothing but just makes things even more harder for them#my personal headcanon is that Silence was maybe having feelings for Saria but like#you know these very premature feelings#like just “oh wow she's pretty and nice”#but nothing like really deep#but they never had anything going on before the diabolic crisis#and after lone trail after they made up and saw each other's true person#they start to actually get real feelings#I'm just complaining but I've been still seeing it around somehow and it's sad to me that this joke became a fact for many people#there's still a lot of fanfics about how they had been dating and now they're on bad terms#I think that going on the “they're exes” route is way too easy and actually hides the potential and interesting reason#of why Silence was mad at Saria#it's not because she hates Saria or blame her#it's because she's mad at herself for being so weak#really making them appear as exes just hides this really interesting truth and makes it all seem to be a sad love story#consider that they never had any of this and that this tension between them is because they blame themselves!!#their story is not a love story but above all a story about self love and acceptance#just my two cents enjoy my rambling i go back to bed now#(not putting this in the main tag I don't want to start a war I'm just rambling)
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compilation of all canon/canon-ish/“technically jokes but something similar would happen in canon” (though this only applies to 1 box here) teammateswap textboxes for your viewing pleasure :
(this is going to be long so uhh….anyways : about teammateswap)
#zomb’s dialogue boxes#teammateswap - dr au#I PROMISE THERE’S CANON TEXTBOXES THEY’RE ALL NOT JOKES I PROMISE….#anyways i’m putting these in the main tags hiiiiiii ^^ hi guys!!!! hi hi hi hi hi :-3c#deltarune au#deltarune susie#susie deltarune#deltarune noelle#noelle deltarune#noelle holiday#deltarune berdly#berdly deltarune#deltarune ralsei#ralsei deltarune#tbh looking at these without knowing susie’s history of cringefail lesbianism makes it seem like she’s not into noelle at all which is…#obviously not true#have you seen her?!?!????#it’s just not that hard to make her blush…it’s so easy everyone has done it at some point probably
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whatever //blasts your old man with the butch beam//
#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza like a dragon#yakuza 7#yakuza series#jo sawashiro#genderbend#snap sketches#sorry.#i laid in bed for three seconds and i dont know what happened i saw a vision and thought to myself 'how can i make my mommy issues worse'#unrelated ramble time my dad. texted me and he did the whole 'you need to eat' bit#and then i told him i was goin to my moms this weekend for a hot minute and he was all 'oh ill send you miso soup :) quick an easy :)'#like thank you...... i. LOVE. water.#i actually do like miso soup but it just seems like a funny thing to me idk LOL#immediately after that he was like 'wait ill just give you money for groceries'#which i felt bad bout since i always feel bad gettin money from my dad. not my mom tho she's a witch#see this is. why we're here tonight this ramble is NOT totally unrelated LMAO#anyway. i have a genderbent ichi doodle too but i figured one (1) instance of me being ill is enough for tonight#so with that im gonna look at the wall more and think of women BYE
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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
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100% don't punish the growl and listen to your dog and your puppy is not an evil mastermind AND ALSO seeing how Melis behaved today and latey, feeling very validated in our approach to her outbursts of screaming thrashing gnashing teeth being less "sorry sorry never mind" and more "ok buddy are u sure though"
time will tell if she has another ride on the melty brain hormone train coming (Sparta didn't - but she might) but at this moment in time, Melis is a pretty tolerant, people-oriented, socially intelligent little dog who's displaying some very pleasant traits. and who has not growled or snarled or gotten near threshold in many months. at this rate our worst puppy might end up our best dog
#her impulse control is tons better (as one expects when they start to hormonally mature a bit)#and its not so much about teaching her to moderate her behaviour anymore as it seems like she finally understands#that the best way to the best outcome for her is simply to#behave. and take it easy. and trust us and the environment to make things work out in good ways#conflict free resolutions etc#to be fair i think melis has ALWAYS been socially intelligent#i dont think she wouldve adopted the behaviour style she had if she wasnt. she learned VERY EARLY (pre-8wks)#that if she blustered big enough she'd win anything. and that became the most convenient and successful way for her to behave#so all we really had to do was make that behaviour inefficient. not punish it - that wasnt necessary#because the wanted behaviour requires less of her than the unwanted one does#anyway i love her and her remorselessness to bits and now we can foster her need for chaos and violence in productive and harmonious ways#<3
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twice’s stylists for jeongyeon drive me nuts but what’s new 🚬 I’ve made this post before but if they stopped trying to distract from or hide her weight they would realize that her weight actually doesn’t make her less attractive but More attractive and that by trying to hide it to begin with, they bring even more attention to it despite all their attempts, even though it’s not a bad thing to begin with
#the amount of fucking incredible outfits she could have with a NORMAL DRESS instead of weird ass waist ‘cinching’ skirt on every single#outfit to give off the idea of a waist#they act like her weight makes her inherently less feminine#she seems to enjoy different ways of expressing herself and I like that about her#I just wish all the outfits her stylists give her weren’t so fucking obvious that they’re trying to work against her weight instead of with#it << WHICH IS SO EASY BTW!!!! BC SHES LITERALLY BEAUTIFUL#I’m 🚶🏽♂️🚬 don’t mind me i just get so fucking pissed with kpop and it’s weight obsession#don’t even get me started on how they style changbin. he’s literally a sexy ass dude and they’re pouring cloth over him like hiding his#very form will distract from his weight#kpop I’ll kill youuuuuuuuuu#anyways.
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Taylor returning over and over to the falling through the ice accident in the Bolter—everything to me
#like. just. the shock of it all#there’s something about Taylor where her experience of life is so ….. brutal#like I don’t know how else to say it but it just is. life is not easy on her it is always ready to CLOBBER her#and in a way she’s not easy on life. there’s some kind of magnets/opposite poles stuff where she’s just always drawn to the worst things#to feeling them and experiencing them and almost ??? creating them#like I don’t mean to overstate it. and I know she has a family who loves her (thank GOD)#and also she’s very practical and industrious about creating this very Instagram worthy life full of Fine Things and a Fun Time#and of course all the resources in the world at her disposal to create all the trappings of it#whether it’s a celebrity Fourth of July party or the eras tour#and she’ll do it and love it. but as all the best critics know and point out the most fascinating thing about Taylor is always the music#and it’s where all the weirdness and stubbornness and difficulties of her life. her a c t u a l longings her actual fears#her actual terrible awful experiences that she charges headlong down the paths of#is set free! and it’s breathtaking in the most shocking way#like falling through the ice! I always say the first thing that always hits me about a Taylor album is the bitterness#just this blast in the face. and her music is so gentle! in so many ways#and the packaging is so appealing and her voice is so soft and expressive and there is none of that weird experimentation#even musically (remember when she shut down imogen heap for putting a minor chord in clean she was like absolutely not. I’m obsessed)#(with that moment forever)#but like. so much of Taylor’s packaging and life and HER really does SEEM so basic or ordinary or just rich girl ordinary I guess#she likes basic things and wants basic things. but also she is so hungry so restless so angry so wounded the rich internal life is CHURNING#all the time. every second. and it’s spectacular to watch and also I will worry about her until the day I die#or just—-I don’t know. it’s going to be spectacular and it is sometimes going to be awful#but she will keep furiously writing her way through it!!#there IS such a woundedness to her. and it makes me love her so much because it’s packaged in such a way people think it must just be#whining or privilege. but it’s not! it’s just. the human condition and Taylor’s own flaws#okay I’ve lost the plot here a bit in my ramblings but yeah the ice metaphor. insanely perfect
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A while ago I made my best interpretation from memory/assumption of a relationship chart for castleaudios’ Glenwood universe because I love it soooooooo much and was trying to explain some of the characters to a friend, and I realized it’s really hard to explain LOLL so I thought I’d post it for the Glenwood season 1 recap occasion since I’m about to get into the video!
[CW for series spoilers on this chart if you haven’t listened to it btw]
#this series is so easy to get fixated on its sooo good#if u guys like audio stories and reader/listener insert stuff and supernatural shenanigans hit it up !!!#I don’t asmrpost much bc I tend to enjoy it in my own little world but my friends knowwww how bonkers I’ve been abt glenwood#I have fic wips and everything I’m trying to get some of them to listen but#it’s hard (and I love and respect them for it. BUT. BUT.)#anyway I spend too long making this so I figured I’d post cause it seems like there’s a little fandom for it which makes me sooooo happy !!#I hope I got everything right like I said it was all memory/assumption#castleaudios#castleaudios glenwood#glenwood series#asmr#be niceys to me abt it btw I’m shyyy but I think it came out nice !#rachelle’s is red w no heart btw bc it’s sorta posed as romantic or flirty or whatever but she sucks and it’s fake#fuck rachelle all my homies hate rachelle#canon one at least. friend au is acceptable
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writing fluff is so hard esp for a character you haven’t written for before + other characters in the fic 😭
#satoru i’m abt to get real acquainted w you in this fic#so far it just all sounds v corny and not at all like how satoru sounds so i need to rework everything#also it’s so hard to segue into another part of the fic or just another paragraph for me so i need to practice FLOW#and NOT make it choppy/clunky#and i also have to find voices for tsumiki & megumi 😭 miki’s is pretty easy she’s sweet & playfully teasing#wanna make megs adorable yet slightly grumpy bc i know he’s mature but i still want a childish vibe for him hmmmm#i’m actually… SURPRISNGLY. having a LOT of trouble w the ‘reader’ themselves#i just can’t seem to find their dynamic w each character yet… hmmmmmm#y’know what i may have to do… keep the beginning part but scrap everything else and start fresh#sighhhhhhhh.#i’m willing to do that though bc this story so far isn’t hitting the way i want it to#and i love the Premise of the fic a lot and want to do it TOTAL justice#like it’s serious business to me 😭 i don’t play around when it comes to this omfg like i HAVE FUN but i want it to be decently written too#gonna need to insert more personality to each character + their DIALOGUE TOO omg dialogue is so fucking hard & speech tags are so blegh#i actually might dream on it tonight and imagine how it would realistically play out in my head and then go back to fic writing#yeah i’ll do that it’s 9:30 pm rn basically so i’ll just dream on it 😭#personal
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What do you feel nostalgic for?
a person you used to be close to
you long for this person more than anything, but you know there's nothing you can do. what do you miss about them? their voice? their smile? the way they comforted you when it felt like your world was crashing down around you? whether you lost them for reasons under your control or not, it still hurts all the same. the last time you saw them, did you know it would be the last?
your youth
life used to be so simple, right? there's something so wonderful about being naïve to the world's problems. growing up is terrifying. what would be just one more day of not having to worry about it?
tagged by: @miraiq thank you <3
tagging: steal it from me
#ღ — dash memes#⤜ character【 sparkle 】#⤜ character【 ningguang 】#( these are actually interesting because they might not be what you expect from them )#( sparkle always seems to me like a lonely person )#( people with the brightest smiles are usually the saddest no? )#( she's good at seeking fun and knows how to entertain herself )#( but most of the time it involves other people )#( she wouldn't do nearly 90% of what she does if there was no one watching )#( and ningguang has so many tasks and everyone's eyes on her )#( while her childhood was by no means easy )#( sometimes it's nice to have with no responsibilities )#( no worries )#( she had to grow up too fast to make ends meet )#( but her youth isn't something she can get back )
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While she was cutting my hair I kept like 👁️👁️ analyzing my stylist's sweater trying to reverse engineer that thang mentally and I think I might have 80% of this crochet sweater pattern mentally pirated
#Creepy chatter#Like that can't truly JUST be half double crochet alternating between full stitch + third loop stitch#I'm literally already making something w that already (all in third loop but still easy adjustment)#I wanna make a sweater or smth but I keep over hyping the difficulty#You can buy sweaters entirely made of hdc...Its not scary intimidating knowledge it would seem...#Showing up for my next cut w my illegally downloaded crochet sweater like :) it was cute!#I made some twist head bands and meant to bring her one last week but FORGOR...next time#She has cute short hair that's always different colors so I thought she could use a white velvet twist band for a bunch of different fits#I haven't taken pics yet bc lol...i look kinda dumb in them and the beautiful babygirls they're intended for are not around atm 😔
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Amanda Grayson with her Hubby and Stepson
#I wanted to redesign Amanda Grayson bc I like her flamboyant old woman look but when she's young they always style her look very bland#and proper...and I want her to look like kind of a hippie teacher mess#Amanda & Sarek - annoying girl x killjoy guy#we are each insufferable in our own unique ways#Amanda has a way of getting to people - whether it's good or bad depends on the person but she's someone you remember and who it's easy to#end up talking to for hours and Sarek realizes this too late...before he even knows whats happening he's grocery shopping with this woman as#they both complain about how BRIGHT the store lights are#Sarek: (on date number five) ..........I have a son by the way / Amanda: Aw shit. Let's go to chuck E Cheese.#Amanda goes into Sarek's quarters for the first time and is like this place is AWFUL!! and by the end of the week she's redecorated.#She built him a bedside table. He bought her a pair of gaudy earrings which she loved but didn't get herself during one of their shopping#trips bc she exclaimed 'Ugh! Who do I think I am!?' and speed walked away#Also last bit of personal lore but Amanda told Sarek (as a joke) that before they got married he should ask her father first#(she said this bc Sarek asked her to marry him on like the second date since Vulcans don't date - she said no)#so when Sarek meets Amanda's father he asks the man to marry him - misinterpreting her words (Amanda DIES laughing)#Sarek seems straight but tradition is tradition - if he has to marry Amanda's dad before he can marry her he'll deal with it#Stepmom Amanda swag...she's gonna give this grumpy lil boy a piggyback ride and giggle about his dad with him#anyway...I like this version of Amanda - she makes her own kombucha and insists you take a jar home with you#Sarek/Amanda#star trek#star trek art#Sarek#Amanda Grayson#sarek art#amanda grayson art#bea art tag#Sarek calls Amanda : dear darling beloved blossom my heart etc#Amanda calls Sarek: elbows knees bigntall sharpie etc#the times she calls him stuff like 'honeycake' and other such stupid-sweet things are times he pretends to find baffling but cherishes 4ever#couple that has a list of things to ask before they eat at a new place#Is it vegetarian? Is it kosher? Is it organic? Is it spicy?
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BIG BRAIN MOMENT FOR ME im not going to ascend astarion because my tiefling is a bard and then I can imagine a post-game future of lvl 18 WISH BABEYY
#vem was always meant to be an elf tiefling too which can live as long as normal elves so BAM BAM ALL GOOD THINGS#i literally want to ascend him solely so he doesnt suffer as a spawn anymore and while i still think it can be a valid route#there was always little tiny things i rolled my eyes at specifically his attitude and the debate of where the real astarion went#NO MATTER NOW ALL OF IT WAS BASED ON MY HEADCANNON SPECULATION POST GAME so now im gucci#3rd playthrough of this same char btw first was test 2nd was dark urge test and now 3rd is my 'canon'#bg3 spoilers#the character vem is based off of in my comic is half elf and half reptillian and tiefling was the closest comparison#because of horns and tail but not quite dragonborn#also by elf tiefling i technically mean fey'ri but i really wanted her to be literally half elf and half tiefling#though that doesnt seem to work outside homebrew so i go with fey'ri to make it easy and vem just thinks shes a werid tiefling
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