#and so still I cannot and others should not speculate more

[aya-luri]

Am I the only one who doesn't associate Zekrom with Ingo and Reshiram with Emmet but do it the other way around? Well, perhaps this will become an unpopular opinion, but, if you stop to think about it there are quite a few points that can support this theory. Let's check them out! To begin with, it's the legendary dragon Zekrom the one who appears on the cover of the White version of the game, while Reshiram does the same on the Black version, which would indicate that they actually represent their opposite color. Such small detail is already important in itself, not just the basic color of the dragons per se. Also we all know that Zekrom's associated element is the electric type, like Emmet's Eeleektros, while Reshiram's is the fire type, like Ingo's Chandelure, both being the most representative pokemons of the Subway Bosses.

Although the issue of ideologies of each dragon is used to link them with each brother among the fandom, "ideals" being the one typically attributed to Ingo for his passionate way of encouraging trainers, while for Emmet it is the "truth" for his direct way of communicating, this could work much better the other way around. If we have learned anything from Ingo on Pokemon Legends Arceus, it is that this man is full of existential doubts that lead him to want to get closer to the player in order to know more about himself. That's it, the truth about his origins. But he already had some tendency to this type of behavior long before, as it was evident in the first Black & White games.

"Where is my destination? I've kept thinking, and I've learned one thing. That is, you cannot know what happens after winning without winning." Through such questions, Ingo seeks to reach a real conclusion, his own truths. And perhaps in our idealized image of him we forget that he can also be frank and direct, without the need to embellish words with lies.

"However, it is difficult to win unless you and your partner are in total sync." On the other hand, and as we have said before, the frankness with which Emmet expresses his opinions makes him look like an open-minded character, sincere, making this seem (for many people) to be his only notable characteristic, despite the fact that it's kinda obvious the way in which he greatly idealizes Pokémon battles.

"This time, I am really serious. Really serious. Because if a battle is not serious, it is not fun." He firmly believes that there is a way to go about Pokémon battles, and that way is by giving it your all in them, and in an ideal world, everyone would have fun battling just as he does, but this is not always the case. Emmet clearly expresses how he believes things should be, and he's also aware that his own victory may not only be due to his skill but also to circumstantial elements or, put another way, luck. So he also idealizes the player's own defeat when it occurs, having enough consideration to make it seem like something unfourtunate. Further proof that the fandom has been associating the wrong dragon with the wrong twin can be found in the legend of the twin heroes, where it was the oldest who pursued the truth, while the youngest pursued the concept of ideals.

This birth order also corresponds to Ingo and Emmet, Ingo being the eldest of the both and Emmet the youngest.

That's why despite being white, I think Reshiram suits to Ingo much better and the same for Emmet regarding the black dragon Zekrom. All of these points put together carry much more sense than simply thinking that each dragon's ideologies relates to a brother just by the main color of his outfit. Although this, in the end, does not have much relevance either, since canonically there is no relationship between these legendary Pokémon and the Subway bosses, other than the simple fact of playing with mere chromatic issues. Still, it's always fun to speculate, right?

[syndrossi]

Regret AU: Part 5(b)

Daemon is, uh, going through a few things of his own now.

x~x~x

In the weeks since he had returned to King’s Landing, Daemon had found himself inundated with letters from lords and knights who would not have given him a second glance since he had been disinherited in favor of Rhaenyra, but were now eager to congratulate him on his success in the Stepstones.

It was no different in court, where he had allowed himself to be fooled by the whispers of speculation that Viserys’s warm reception might be a sign that he had given up finding Rhaenyra a suitor from amongst the other families of the realm, and sought someone closer to home. More than a fool. I was a raving, dribbling lackwit to think that my brother would see me for anything but a burden to be suffered.

Daemon could not even wallow in his rage, the burn of humiliation just as strong, clogging his throat. He had stopped just short of begging, and still his brother had all but scoffed at him by the end of it. He treats me like a child whining about finding peas on my plate.

He stared at the pile of letters from today’s haul that a page had left with Rolen, sick unto death of false promises and false hope and adoration that turned to indifference at the changing of the wind. I should burn them. I should burn them, burn this room, burn—

“My prince?”

Rolen was looking at him with a concern that brought the rage to a roaring fire in his chest, only for it to die with a whimper, leaving him bereft. I am a thing of pity. How the court would laugh and sneer if whispers of his failure made it out of Viserys’s chamber.

“Shall I read them to you?”

Daemon flopped onto the couch, still unaccustomed to the way his short hair barely moved, and stared at the ceiling, marveling that he had ever missed King’s Landing. The arrows slung his way by ambitious Triarchy bowmen had been honest, at least, and his response simple: burn them all. That had sadly not been an option for Corlys’s more irritating advisors, but Drahar’s men had on occasion done him a favor there.

“If you like,” Daemon said.

He closed his eyes, only half-listening. Rolen’s voice was deep and soothing, stirring memories of distant childhood, when he had been his father’s servant instead. Most nights, their father had read to them. Other nights, their nurse. And still others, it had been Rolen.

Lord Largent sought tales of his son Luthor’s bravery in the final battle against Drahar. Lord Mallery wished to extend an invitation to a hunt at Denmarch next moon. Ser Desmond Lowther professed himself within Daemon’s debt for ridding the Narrow Seas of the pirate scourge that had killed his sister.

Rolen paused after that letter, long enough that Daemon thought him finished. Then he cleared his throat. “From Ser Willam of House Royce—”

Daemon’s eyes snapped open. “Burn it.”

“My prince—”

“Burn it!” he snarled.

“I cannot, my prince,” Rolen said, his voice apologetic. “You would not forgive me if I did.”

The refusal was so unexpected that he sat up, confusion overtaking anger. He vaguely recalled a Ser Willam, for it was he who wielded the Royce blade Lamentation. A second cousin of his wife’s; second son of a second son of a second son. He could think of no reason for the knight to be writing to him rather than the letter coming from Rhea herself. Unless—

He stared at Rolen, barely daring to hope. “Is the bitch dead?”

“Not quite, my prince,” his servant said. He kept glancing between Daemon and the letter, his expression uncharacteristically perturbed. “I suggest you read it yourself.”

=========

“Open the door,” Daemon commanded.

The Kingsguard outside his brother’s chamber, Ser Steffon, gazed back at him impassively. “The king is not to be disturbed.”

“I do not care if he is mid-fuck with that Hightower harlot!” Daemon gave the door a kick, causing the knight to twitch, his sword half out of its sheath before he arrested the motion. “I will speak to the king, or I will burn the Vale.”

The knight’s gaze swept him more carefully, and his lip curled. He knew what the Kingsguard was looking for. “You should thank all seven of your gods, Ser Steffon, that I am sober.” If he were not, he might be halfway to the Vale already.

Daemon kicked the door once more. “Viserys!”

This time, Ser Steffon seized him by the arm, and only Viserys’s muffled voice stopped him from driving the knight into the door. “Daemon? What in the seven hells—?”

“Shall I escort him back to his chamber, my king?” Ser Steffon asked, still gripping him by the arm. “Or elsewhere?”

“If you send me away,” Daemon hissed, “you shall never see me again. I swear it.”

The long pause afterward might have cut him to the core mere hours before, but the tumult of emotion that had flooded him over the past half hour had numbed him to everything but rage. Finally, Viserys said, “Open the door.”

Ser Steffon did as commanded, holding onto Daemon all the while. Viserys stood in the doorframe, dressed for sleep, and judging by the mess of his hair, he had been woken from it. May he spend the rest of the week as sleepless as I shall be.

Viserys studied him for a few moments, gaze lingering on the crumpled sheets of parchment in his hand. “Release him.”

Daemon pointedly ignored Ser Steffon and followed his brother into his chamber, past the clay monstrosity serving as its centerpiece that he had been told was a model of Valyria itself.

“Daemon,” his brother said, a note of warning in his voice. “You cannot make demands of—”

He strode past him, to the table by the windows, and slapped the letters onto the table. “Read these.”

Viserys started with the letter from Ser Willam, while Daemon watched the movement of his eyes through the first page. At one point, they halted, moving back up, then jumped further down the page before reading it through once more. He quickly moved to the second page, then the third, setting them down with a look of dazed astonishment.

“That cannot be,” he said.

“What cannot be?” Daemon said, pacing along the length of the table. “That I might have spoken truth about that bitch’s nature? That I have sons of my own? That they were stolen from me by their shrew of a mother and hidden away to live in squalor?”

His voice had risen to a shout by the end, and when Ser Steffon called into the room to ask if the king required assistance, Daemon grabbed the nearest cup and flung it at the door with a wordless scream. Viserys hurried to the door, which had immediately cracked open, and exchanged a few quiet words with the knight. Daemon’s breath hissed in and out, sharp against the silence.

“Daemon,” his brother said at last, looking shaken. “I do not—”

“Read the other,” Daemon said. “If you wish to know the true depths of her treason, read the other.”

The other letter did not bear the seal of House Royce, which made it far more trustworthy in Daemon’s eyes, and its contents were breathtakingly damning. Viserys, who had leaned over to read Lord Grafton’s letter, bolted upright midway through.

“By the gods!”

“Hatchlings,” Daemon said through gritted teeth. The brief fantasy he had allowed himself through his seething rage at reading the first letter, of taking his babes to the Dragonpit to view the drakes and dragons within, had been shattered by the second.

It was not enough to steal my children. It was not enough to make whatever black deal was necessary to secure dragon eggs. The bitch stole our very tradition of dragon eggs in the cradle.

“I must send word to Lady Arryn at once,” Viserys said, his face grey. “I must summon the small council.”

“Fuck the small council and fuck Lady Arryn,” Daemon snapped. “Give me dragons. Give me Rhaenys and Rhaenyra. We will retrieve my sons and burn Runestone as Aegon burned Harrenhal. There can be no other response to such treason.”

Viserys was already shaking his head. “Daemon, that is—”

“She stole my children, Viserys!” he screamed, his fury only heightened by the hot blur of tears that made the room swim. “The very children you mocked me about, for it could only be my fault that our union was childless. I have not held them. I have not named them. I do not know what they look like. I will be a stranger to them.”

His brother stared at him in silence, bereft of words for once.

“She stole the joy of them from me.” The grief had found its way to his throat now, half choking him. “The birth of my first child—children. It should have been the greatest of joys.” Instead, he had learned of his fatherhood from a letter, the moment forever soiled by the crimes that had been committed against him. Against his sons.

“They are nothing to her,” Daemon croaked. That was the greatest blow. “They were not deserving of her love or her comfort. They are but tools, dragonriders that she might someday use to challenge the throne.”

“Daemon, I—” His brother approached him cautiously, as one might a wild animal, to put his hands on Daemon’s shoulders. He had been taller than Daemon, until one final growth spurt in Runestone had given him an extra inch, putting them eye-to-eye now. “I am sorry. I did not know.”

“You did not listen,” he said bitterly. “I all but begged for freedom, and instead you rubbed my nose in your own blessings.”

“I could not imagine that—” Viserys shook his head once more. “Otto has always spoken so highly of Lady Royce.”

“Fuck Otto,” Daemon said, his voice hollow. “And fuck you, if it was at his counsel that you refused me.”

The grip on his shoulders tightened briefly, and for a moment, trepidation found its way through the churn of fury and anguish. His brother was king. No one spoke to him thus, not anymore. But after a complicated flicker of emotion on his brother’s face, Daemon found himself pulled into an embrace.

“I will make this right, Daemon,” Viserys said. “House Royce and House Redfort will face the king’s justice.”

The king’s justice. Not the fiery rain of dragonflame that they truly deserved.

“They should burn,” Daemon said, digging his chin into his brother’s shoulder. He tried to picture his sons’ faces and couldn’t. “They should burn.”

“Runestone will be your eldest’s seat,” Viserys reminded him.

Then let it burn and let a new castle be built atop it, he wanted to say, but he knew that it was not so simple. As badly as he wished to see its halls reduced to molten rubble, it belonged to his son.

My son. He still could not comprehend having one son, let alone two. He will be a lord, with a holdfast of his own.

“If House Redfort was so eager to claim them as their own, then let Redfort go to my youngest,” Daemon said.

“I shall ensure your sons are given their due,” Viserys said. He pulled back then. “Go to them. Bring your babes home.”

“What of Runestone?” Daemon demanded, his thirst for vengeance overtaking the heartache once more.

“You will leave the Vale to me. They will face justice, Daemon. Once I am satisfied that the full scale of House Royce’s treason is known, you may swing the sword yourself.”

x~x~x

Ser Willam right now, somewhere in the Vale, feeling a shiver of foreboding: I'm (my house is) in danger.

Willam and the boys made it to Castle Graftson so soon after Willam sent his own raven that it would have been no more than a few hours before Lord Grafton sent his, hence Daemon having both to read. And Lord Grafton made his own opinions about House Royce's treason/motivations with the hatchlings plain...

[scribeofmorpheus]

Veilguard Review: Doom Upon the World

Warnings: Spoilers for Veilguard, very political review (considers race, gender, religion and choice consequences centred around established Thedas).

Another long post: 4k words

In my first review (Love, Wisdom and Pride), I focused on the relationships most pivotal to Solas’ arc reaching resolution: Inquisitor and Mythal (though heavily Solavellan inspired, I tried to be aware of how the Inquisitor’s role as a rival/friend outside of romance was still considered as an important relationship in his story). This review, on the other hand, will focus on the worldstate and what we lost [x], as well as my speculations on which story beats/companions/advisors I feel should have been integrated into the story for a deeper emotional payoff for past Dragon Age players (and overall story cohesion).  

EDIT: Why Dragon Age Veilguard isn't a "Cathedral" thread (very important tet-a-tet about understanding game development politics--especially what was happening in Bioware)

N.B: This review is definitely a critique of something I love, born from love, because—yes, I had expectations; yes, they were high; no, I don’t think that’s a problem; no, I do not hate the game we got, but I mourn for what the devs clearly were building towards with the last 3 games in the series, and from what we know from the internal struggles with Bioware under EA’s helm (as evidence from the development time, layoffs, staff’s disappointment, and the differences between the final game and the concept art) the only thing getting in the way of a truly epic game was corporate meddling and greed.

Spoilers below the cut.

Without further ado, the primary criticism I have is that Varric should not have been our advisor! I read a post somewhere that succinctly surmised the that Varric was chosen as our Advisor so that:

Solas would make an “irredeemable” mistake for all the Solas haters to use as an excuse to simply view him as an antagonist, simplifying the goal of the game to: stop the elf from bringing down the Veil.

Varric was used for marketing purposes rather than story depth choices; he’s popular, beloved and an easy carrot for the EA stick to dangle in front of loyal fans.

His writer has literally been trying to kill him off for the last 2 games! Varric was supposed to die in Inquisition! (lol) [EDIT: Just want to clear up one mistake I wrote here--I say Mary Kirby (Varric's Author) was trying to kill him off since D2, but I meant the scrapped Exalted March DLC helmed by Gaider, and then someone else wanted to kill him off in Inquisition (Mary, I'm sorry I accidentally passed a fib about you!)]

I firmly believe he should have been holding the blight back in Kirkwall, and that his position as Viscount of Kirkwall should have affected the outcome of the blight spreading in the South!

Advisors in the North

Right off the bat, the two best choices for advisor, (excluding the Inquisitor out of favouritism) should have been Dorian and Morrigan.

Dorian: because we’re in the North, the Shadow Dragons are by far the more “grassroots organisation against imperial power” kind of organised body the Inquisition started out as. Since we don’t have a calling to fight against like the Wardens in Origins or a family to try and keep together in a city on the brink of implosion like Hawke, or a pseudo religious-political body to inspire Hope in the faithful like the Inquisitor, Valour, Love and Hope cannot be at the heart of this story. It has to be JUSTICE [x].

Justice for the culmination of Anders’ story; for Merril and everything she endured to repair the eluvian; for Fenris, the origin of his lyrium tattoos (which according to GhilDirthalen’s post, there was a plot point linked to elves whose lyrium bodies did not possess latent magical prowess) and the slaves in Tevinter; for the rebelling elves that should have formed factions as the Dread Wolf’s Agents like the Trespasser epilogue hinted at; for misunderstood spirits hurt by mages like Cole; for the ancient elves like Abelas; for the templars who saw the corruption in their ranks but had no way out because of lyrium addiction like Sampson; for those corrupted by red lyrium that was spreading throughout Thedas with no cause or cure; for the dwarves like Branka, obsessed with the answers held in the Anvil of the Void, or Harding, or Shaper Valta who saw a Titan and witnessed the death of the Legion of the Dead; for Sandal’s prophecy!; for the qunari oppressed by the Qun, turned talvashoth, searabas, hisraad like Bull! Justice for two decades worth of worldbuilding on the part of the writers and the devs who loved telling these stories.  

Morrigan: is self-explanatory to the story they were crafting between Solas and Mythal. And what would have been even better is if they actually just explained away the Well of Sorrows’ choice unaffecting the Inquisitor because Morrigan eventually had to assimilate the essence from the well to keep the Inquisitor from going mad—like the anchor had to be tempered by Solas in Trespasser. Easy as that!

The best part is that pitting Morrigan and Dorian as foils of each other further allows the game to have greater stakes and tension because Morrigan (changed by Mythal’s righteous anger and need for justice for what was done to her by the Evanuris) could champion making choices more detrimental to Thedas but ultimately in line with Solas’ plans. And Dorian could make choices that put the safety of Thedas’ citizens at the forefront by sacrificing headway in stopping Solas and his Agents from advancing with their plans!

Best yet, we could have had a hardened vs softened Dorian depending on whether you recruited him in Inquisition, and/or did his quest.

[Inquisitor concept art by Matt Rhodes]

Favouritism Bonus Round: The Inquisitor (or alternatively Morrigan) should have been the voice to champion Rook to seek out the wolf statues, and they should have been present when discussing the memories, as it would have given them more gravitas when uncovering the literal story of "Solas is Andrastian God creating the Veil" or "the Dalish Dread Wolf is being proven to be a saviour" or "Elves originally being spirits in the beginning", or "Titans were at war with the elves" beyond comments like: “Oh, Solas regrets this” or “They were doing it”. (This is the issue with having a “couch setting” for a “war room”—discussions feel less intellectual, factions don’t necessarily bring their own unique viewpoint into the interpretation of Solas’ decisions/Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain’s presence, etc.) Everyone is not digesting the material given like it’s a clue to stopping the world from ending but rather like gossip. With the Inquisitor, as either a friend to Solas, a rival or a romanced Lavellan, finally finding the Dread Wolf’s Achilles Heel after vowing to stop him would have rung true, closed the loop.

Sigh.

This is also why I feel the Inquisitor should have been the one in Varric’s place—like literally. I mean recovering from an injury after failing to catch up to Solas in ACT 1, possibly dispatched by Agents of Fen'Harel! Because they could then be forced to pass the mantle to hunt down Solas to “Rook”. Not dead. Or a blood magic illusion. Just, Inquisitor, wounded, making small talk, sometimes bringing up plot points from Inquisition—your Hawke on the battlements in DA:I or Alistair in the gardens with Morrigan and Keiran.

It would also make more sense for the Inquisitor to be able to use the eluvian to travel between Skyhold and the Lighthouse, allowing for believable absences during plot points where their lack of action inspite of their presence wouldn’t make sense. Not to mention more gut-wrenching if we heard about the South from Inky rather than reading 4 letters!

Previously, I stated how the Inquisitor’s presence needed more weight in the non-Solavellan endings! Some people’s Inquisitor befriended Solas, some hated him, either way, the Inquisitor should have been present for the final showdown beyond a passive observer! If the Inquisitor ended up being the last friend/former love that Solas destroys (in a bad worldstate end where you don’t collect Mythal’s essence), which then prompts Rook to fight him because Solas’ last tie to empathy failed to redeem him, that would have added so many layers! The Inquisitor falling is the last straw for Solas too, whether friend, lover or foe, he fought beside them, stopped Corypheus with them! The Inquisitor was partially his making of a hero; his first “good” mistake! It would then make sense for him to snap, choosing to be a villain in the hopes of being stopped because he can’t stop himself, he’s come too far! Rather than the ‘I am a God’ ending they gave us.

Agency of a “Rook” on an Empty Chess Set (Factions and Backstory)

Personally, from both a writing and a viewer’s perspective, I think our protagonist should have always been linked to the Shadow Dragons (and the factions choices shouldn’t have been incorporated). This is more because, framing one’s backstory as being a member of a faction—not a people with established political positions in Tevinter—siphons the narrative of personal stakes. Imagine being a mage who could have begun with higher approval in Tevinter but lower elsewhere, maybe they’d be saved from the Venatori’s thrall that was linked to Neve’s companion story—again linked to Ashur and the Dragons. Or an elf mage could begin a storyline like that of the city elf in da:o but focused on the Shadow Dragons’ tackling slavery’s presence in Tevinter. A Qunari origin could explore being a refugee aided by the Shadow Dragons as they flee the Qun because they don’t fit in the dogmatic religion. A warden could be a criminal in Tevinter, showing us what is considered ‘rules for criminality’ in a city that corrupt and extremist.

Overall, the factions don’t add much diversity to Rook’s background, backstory, dialogue tree or influence on the world state beyond a last name that doesn’t really matter. With a Shadow Dragons’ background, the very ethos of “Rook” would have been about overcoming oppression, and then the nickname makes sense too, a name to stay concealed, to keep loved ones safe while DAV’s protagonist battles politics, blood mages and blighted gods. It would have been even more meaningful if the nickname “Rook” paralleled “Dread Wolf”, in that it was bestowed by your origin-based backstory antagonist and then used as a call to freedom (we wouldn’t even need a cutscene, this could have been revealed in part of their banter/dialogue). This simple choice would have allowed us to focus on Treviso and the Antaam’s occupation and Tevinter and the Venatori’s rise to power on a more personal level. It would also place our Rook in a position to be a foil to Solas’ “do what is necessary for the greater good” vs “be better than those that came before” plot lines. Building off this, the hardened companion status between Neve and Lucanis should have formed a parallel, with one tilting towards understanding Solas’ extreme efforts to stop the Gods, whereas the non-hardened character should have taken the role of foil. Both of whom would add balance to the tension when discussing Solas’ memories or even in exploration banter during missions (one the “devil” on your shoulder, the other your “angel” depending on where Solas’ actions stand for you since Inquisition).

Finally, the Shadow Dragons' should have been linked to Dorian more directly, potentially created with backing/support from the Inquisition’s advisors/Inquisitor directly (since their default attire is the Shadow Dragon apparel).

Companions: Cole for Compassion; Briala for Rebellion and Revenge

Cole

In my review Love, Widsom and Pride, I briefly touched on the fact Cole (whether recruited, not recruited, kept spirit or changed human) was absolutely necessary as a companion. Because it doesn’t matter which version was present in the world (RIP the tapestry), every iteration of Cole works synergistically with appealing to Solas’ spirit side:

If he wasn’t recruited in Inquisition, he could simply have his default origins as a compassion spirit that ‘follows’ the greatest pain in the Fade that yearns to be healed, giving a compassionate viewpoint to Solas’ folly.

Recruited-to-the-Inquisition Spirit Cole could have a greater connection to Solas than even Varric, seeing as Cole was most likely a literal representation of Solas rewriting his own history of corruption by preventing a spirit from becoming something against its nature.

Human Cole would have a deeper connection to the world of Thedas, and could have been a great tool to prove how change was inevitable, not always a bad thing, and inevitably out of even Solas’ control. And he could still offer insight into Solas' mind via 'remnants' of the time he was more spirit.

Briala

What I enjoy about this companion head canon is that Briala is literally Solas’ direct parallel story-wise:

She’s in love with Celene, the ‘best’ choice for ruler in Orlais even though she burned Briala’s alienage. They share a great power imbalance, with Celene able to affect the fate of all elves in Orlais, yet is unwilling to free them, return the Dales, or concede power even though she claims to love Briala, too. Briala is a rebellion upstart, raised by Felassan for crying out loud. She controlled the eluvians and knew how to get around the crossroads, she has more of a bone to pick with Solas than any other NPC not close to the Inquisitor! (Celene and Mythal share many similarities as well, with Celene seen as the more benevolent of rules when compared to Gaspard the Warmonger; and if Gaspard is in power but controlled by Briala, imagine her being dethroned from her seat of power by Agents of Fen’Harel after she lost access to the eluvians, that would have been a great story arc to explore).

Sidenote on DAV's Romance, Companions and Choice Consequence

Building off having either Cole or Briala as a companion, I do think it would have been nice to have them as non-romanceable too. Don’t get me wrong, I know it's great to have options, but I do feel making everyone “pansexual” wasn’t the right way to go for all the companions. It takes away character choice, personality, taste and individualism from the companions. Dorian’s story would not be nearly as impactful if he could have been romanced regardless of gender. Solas being unwilling to romance any race/gender besides female elf (though a direct correlation to the developers being afraid of the ‘evil bisexual’ trope that was popular in the 2010s) also adds to his story; where he’s reluctant to see the world as real, to accept non-elven people as having agency, because that would mean he wasn’t walking through a see of Tranquil, but instead, he was the Forgotten One out of time.

I also firmly believe that a possible reason Cole wasn’t a companion despite there being plans in place that he’d return (Trespasser epilogue slide, I remember you), is because I can 100% see an EA big-wig being like: “He’s unfuckable. Give us someone hot and brooding and slap a demon in them and you’ve got fuckable-Cole” and then we got Lucanis.

I like Lucanis. I’m not crazy about him, but I enjoy the Machiavllian family drama. Very Renaissance Medici story beats. I adore Mary Kirby as a writer, too, but I feel the introduction to the Crows of Antiva should have been Zevran’s mantle, or he should have at least haunted the narrative and missions related to the Crow factions (of which there should definitely have been factions within the Crows). Considering the fact I romanced Lucanis, I couldn’t shake the fact that a lot of his “acceptance for being bound to Spite” beats paralleled a Human Cole having been ‘cured’ from Compassion.

The romances seem less… memorable to me than past games. The importance of choice means you have to accept the story unfolding based on the consequences of your choices; and gender-locking at least one companion would show the cause and effect of beginner choice. Taash is actually written to prefer women over men, which is vital to their arc around gender dysphoria and being non-binary, they would have been a perfect candidate! I imagine their story would also be a great way to explore how being one race attempting to romance another could have a slower progression rate (again, because of Taash’s multi-cultural background, and their complex feelings at having been raised by a mother so tied to the Qun, them being cagier around a qunari Rook romance would also have added layers!) But with everyone available to be romanced, and having no initial repercussion for early game choices despite which character model would have bruises or cuts (Neve or Harding), genuinely roleplaying as Rook, and not as someone using Rook as a stand-in for ourselves, is more disconnected than previous games. This is why the romances feel off to me. Doing the romanceable companions’ storylines seem like I’m the one trying to date them, not Rook. Maybe it’s because Rook’s established personality is the direct repercussion of a sanitized worldstate!  

Foibles of being ‘Unproblematic’: A Sanitised World

The issue with trying to make a game that won’t touch on difficult topics, is that, when you make that game a sequel to a series that was literally built on the backs of tackling real world politics, it makes a lot of the world seem plastic. A poor imitation perhaps.

The World of Thedas book actually tells us that Thedas is a fantasy setting that uses the real world as its backdrop for conflict and world building. Andraste is Joan of Arc. Andrastian faith is Christianity founded by a woman. Orlais is the French bourgeois era. Fereldan is more Highlands/Celtics region if it never had a chance to expand because of the blight. Elves are the disenfranchised (and a direct parallel to popular elven cultures that were often portrayed as the pinnacle of advanced magic/civilisation). City elves live in alienages (literal ghettos). Dalish elves (native to the land) are being run out of their homes, the Orlesian’s are trying to claim the territory for their Empire, and their numbers are dwindling, their culture and language a poor imitation of what it had been, barely surviving colonialisation! Dwarves have a caste system that determines everyone’s future! Dagna had to leave her home! Harding grew up on the surface. Varric’s whole plot thread anchoring him in act 1 of DA2 is helping his brother discover Deep Roads riches so they can get their family’s title again.

And through all 3 games prior to Veilguard, we’re told the Ventaori are monsters, the Imperium is crueller to its elves/slaves than any place in the South! The best option beyond turning Feynriel tranquil in DA2 (one of the few Dream Walker mages) is to send him to Tevinter. What becomes of a half-Dalish mage in Tevinter? Neve, our first companion beside Harding, is determined to make Dock Town a place worth living! So, to walk into Veilguard and have no slavery storylines in a place called the fucking TEVINTER IMPERIUM (modelled after the fucking Roman Empire close to collapse) is so jarring. So unbelievable. What injustice is Neve battling? What woes has Dorian been dealing with in the Magisterium?

The closest we get to seeing the darkness that exists in the world (besides the hanging corpses lining the streets of Dock Town if you save Treviso) is the side quest where a father makes a deal with a demon to keep his child alive by sacrificing so many innocents.

And then there's Tevinter's "savage" neighbours, the Invading forces of the Qun! Frightening, right? But from the blasé manner the Qun's rigidity is discussed, it is framed as though anyone can simply up and leave the Qun if they so wished it, according to Taash’s mom. Yes, Taash is being hunted, and their mom is taken prisoner, but it was all in service to a tablet that discussed fire-breathing, not about returning to the Qun. Iron Bull being deemed talvashoth holds less severity when the consequences of leaving a subjugating, dogmatic, religious-political society are simply... nothing. There's no anchor to Taash being raised in Rivain for safety reasons beyond keeping their fire-breathing secret. And what of all the elves that commit to the Qun? Why are there no elf converts among the Antaam? What about the fucked-up stuff the Dwarves of Kal-Sharok were doing before Veilguard? Kal-Sharok dwarves apparently were changed by the First Blight, and are supposed to have a ‘tainted’ appearance according to the World of Thedas concept art book. Why are they just... normal dudes in booby armour (lol)?

[Imshael! A demon/spirit of choice & Calpernia as potential companions is insanity>>!]

I possibly wouldn’t have these strong opinions if the games gave the companions more… just more ‘controversial’ stories with harder choices! Veilguard in a way feels like playing a game with child-lock on. Yes, what happens to Tevinter or Treviso looks awful when you see it, but the side-quests, companion stories, NPC dialogues and world around the ‘mise-en-scene’ don’t reflect this--it's like set dressing. The “I can’t believe the Venatori are evil” side comments by Rook in Tevinter when the Venatori takes over become whiny, child-like and “hopes and prayers” coded. Do something then, Rook. You are the hero of this story, are you not?

I am forever grateful that Lucanis is actually hardened and removed as a romance interest if you sacrifice Treviso (finally, good old dragon age consequences).

Now onto good criticism of our companions!

Companions: The Good, the Balanced and the Essential

Good: Neve and Davrin.

Neve is our eyes and heart to Dock Town, our humanising presence for the Tevinter Imperium. She is also written in a way that I find her to have the best agency as a non-romanced character than most.

Davrin is a breath of fresh air for the reputation of the Grey Wardens, he’s the genuine article. Him owning up to being young and foolhardy when he rejected the Dalish ways in search of adventure, only to be battle-hardened and then become more appreciative of the fact he was taught to live in harmony before he was exposed to the discord of the Deep Roads is such a good character growth moment.  

Balanced: Harding. Harding grows into a much more invaluable story piece when she unlocks the Stone Sense and uncovers her people’s history. It’s a rather short-sighted choice to have her be one of the Ultimate Sacrifice characters because what becomes of the story of the Stone? Who hears the song? Who will speak of the Titans to other dwarves if she is chosen to go on the final mission?

Essential: Antoine and Evka! No notes, they should have been conditional companions in a side quest! They’re fleshed out so well, and their relationship is real and built into their character, but it’s not all they are! Antoine is smart, hopeful and also tortured by the new blight. Evka is powerful, pragmatic and also caring.

The Red Herring that should have been: Bellara as an Agent of Fen’Harel! Her storyline would have worked with the concept of being found ‘suspicious’ by players if the Agents of Fen’Harel were an active group. A Veil Jumper in Arlathan whose brother got entabgled with a Forgotten One? Someone who is an outright believer in the elven pantheon? O, Bellara, the power you would have had as a possible double-agent in our midst, only for us to have been wrong in doubting her and having it be someone else! Race and position to power should have inforced so many story beats in this game, man!

Finally: Religion, Where?

I’m a little exhausted, so I’ll wrap this part a little quickly. Religion is paramount to understanding the decisions and states of mind of so many characters in Thedas. Leliana’s arc alone is one of the most intimate insights into Andrastian faith! The Inquisitor is literally responsible for appointing the Divine! The Divine can call for an Exalted March! The Black Divine is a huge plot point when discussing the differences between the Southern and Northern iterations of the Chant. Tevinter’s Old Gods (Archdemons) are blighted dragons linked to the Evanuris that whisper the will of their masters to humans. Archdemons are responsible for the Blight, our first “save the world kiddo” moment in da:o! So where is the disbelief in the streets that Elven Gods exist? Why is it always “Our Gods” are back? What about city elves who believe in the Chant of Light? Where is the Black Divine? Why is everyone okay remaining Andrastian when the fact Solas made the Veil is revealed? Where is the politics and religious civil war in the streets between NPCs?! Between companions? Why isn’t there a cultish, zealous group of extreme Andrastians following Solas around? Why isn’t there another version thinking of Solas and all elves as the second coming of Maferath? How are city elves fairing compared to Dalish elves at the reveal it’s their pantheon gunning to end the world? Again! RACE AND POLITICS MATTER! They always mattered in Thedas before, yet here they are anecdotal at best.

The Veil Should Have Come Down

It’s apparent to me, and numerous others, that Veilguard was stunted by its attempts to be an entry piece that wasn’t alienating to new players of the RPG game format, but it was also haunted deeply by it’s very EPIC tapestry mechanic (choices mattered!). Ironically, Veilguard served to be a soft re-boot of the series. This, I think, was the grandest mistake. If they meant to reboot the series for future instalments, we should have fundamentally changed the physics and rules of Thedas completely to allow the next instalment to start from the literal ground up. By bringing down the Veil, we’d finally free the Titans, introduce the concept of Dwarves with magic, awaken the Forgotten Ones and maybe allow for new species/lore/concepts to shape the future. And to work around the tapestry, they could have simply set the next sequel 200 years later. Sent our heroes to rest. Ended with a new canvas.

It should have concluded with the very ending that was prophesied by Sandal in DA2:

“One day the magic will come back. All of it. Everyone will be just like they were. The shadows will part, the skies will open wide. When he rises everyone will see.”

Bonus: Anaris should have been a DLC boss with Fenris involved!

Why, you ask? Just this data-mined codex entry still present in the game:

Truth be told, like they did with Corypheus in the Origins DLC, I think they could very well bring him back as the big bad of DA5—which I think should have always been about fleshing out the war between the Titans / the Forgotten Ones / Evanuris!

Anaris and a waking Titan?! That would have been beyond amazing!

Which… again, is why the Veil should have COME DOWN!

P.S.: I know a lot of these criticisms seem like unhappy nitpicks, but I did enjoy Veilguard, I got an ending I could live with. BUT I am so angry by how many roadblocks are placed before game devs with a clear story in mind--as is obvious with the concept art book. Obvious threads were leading to Veilguard having always been the end of the Dragon AGE! We kill the last Archdemon! The last dragon linked to the Gods and the blight! The game developers have even alluded to having fought tooth and nail with EA's suits, but could only manage to give us the game we got. And I'm beyond grateful. But MAN does it hurt!

Remember to say thank you to the writers/artists/voice actors on their socials, they deserve a little love too.

Fin!

[bunnyshideawayy]

a rumored bastard and a proven, disinherited, legally illegitimate recognized bastard are not the same.

Rhaenyra’s sons are rumored bastards, i know the show has a lot of team green stans feeling bold but just as in the books, they are never legally considered bastards in the show either. they are speculated to be via their physical features and Laenor’s apparent sexuality, but since Laenor and the KING (btw Westeros is a absolute monarchy, meaning the king IS law) both claim all three boys as legitimate heirs, unless someone demands a medieval dna test, those kids are legally Laenor’s true sons.

this is apparently a very hard concept to understand for some, hell even Alicent in the show says something like “we can all tell” which fair point, but that is not proof enough. looks, accusations, and rumor are not the same as actual proof of adultery or bastardy.

someone i was having a “discussion” with used Joffrey as an example to point out a flaw in my logic, but ultimately proved my point. Joffrey was a rumored bastard. Ned himself had no more proof than Alicent does, just hair color and a hunch, so Joffrey was never legally disinherited from the line of succession. I hate to defend either of these men but King Robert never publicly disowned him and called him bastard, which is why Joffrey ascended to the Iron Throne. now the rumors did hurt, and caused huge political issues leading to the War of 5 Kings, which is exactly why Alicent and Team Green is so insistent that Rhaenyra’s children are illegitimate, they know they cannot legally or physically prove her children are bastards, especially when Laenor and the King are claiming them are true born, but they can spread the rumor and call into question Rhaenyra’s honesty and morality. think episode 8 when team green takes their chance with Vaemond to attempt a coup of sorts for the Driftmark Throne, why would the succession of Driftmark need to be settled if Rhaenyra’s sons are true born? why would Alicent / Otto need to make this decision in place of the sick king and mia lord of tides who both had already been stating Luke would inherit for years. it’s all apart of the scheme to tarnish Rhaenyra’s reputation as Vaemond has no other proof either, and promptly loses his head (both metaphorically and literally) by calling the recognized heir to the throne a whore and her children bastards with no proof in front of the whole court.

it is a political scheme on both sides, Alicent cannot prove anything, and Rhaenyra cannot disprove the rumors no matter how many times they are claimed as true born sons. Rhaenyra has to live in the comfort the law gives her, as legally her sons are seen as legitimate, and thus legally they are protected. and from an unbiased pov with both in universe and historical references, those kids might be bastards in actually but not legally.

Rhaenyra goes through hell to keep her children legally protected, not only for their sake but for hers because should the truth come out both her and Laenor would be seriously punished, i wouldn’t go as far as executed but that would depend on if Viserys was old and bed ridden or dead. which is why im making this incredibly long post repeating myself in every point. you can argue all day about Rhaenyra’s children and their parentage but i am making this to make it clear that her children are not *legally* bastards by Westeros law. in order for Jace, Luke, and Joffrey to be illegitimate bastards Laenor, Rhaenyra, Harwin, and/or Viserys would have to publicly acknowledge them as such and disinherit them. no, Laenor and Viserys dying do not magically make Rhaenyra’s children legal bastards either. they would, again, need to be claimed and proven as such and disinherited.

and at the end of it all, true or not true, the rumors made a lasting impact on the story. so much so this fandom is still debating this topic, and frankly i am dreading the season 2 release when all the bad takes and bad faith arguments start up again.

anyway other famous rumored bastards are in Targ history are:

Maegor

Daeron II

[thewertsearch]

Decided to take a little look at the Formspring over the weekend. 

I’m not sure exactly where I left off last time, so I decided to start from the last question I commented on - which means that these are old questions, from way back in the Hivebent era. 

I don’t know if it’s because I’m fairly young, or because I’m not American, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a reference to either of these shows. I haven’t even heard of the second one.

Let me live, Hussie!

We get some hard numbers for Homestuck’s readership, although I’m sure it had grown significantly by the time Cascade rolled around. For reference, this was posted around the time of WV: Rise up.

Karkat originally described Semi-Perfect Jack as ‘something higher than a queen or a king’, which really made it sound like Jack was stronger than either - but I suppose this makes sense, too. 

Jack’s not necessarily stronger than the Queen was - but he’s definitely more dangerous, because he doesn’t follow the normal rules of a Ringbearer. The Queen was a bad-tempered moderator, but Jack is a troll who’s stolen the moderator’s password. 

Hussie’s constant teasing of Team Sleuth is honestly pretty funny. 

I suppose it makes sense that Prospitian Agents would have different priorities - but what about Prospitian Exiles, Hussie? We’re about to be introduced to four new ones, and they could be anyone. 

I like Hussie’s take on creating web content. I agree - you should be making what you want to make, not what gets you the most clicks. 

If I had to knock one point off of Homestuck’s rating, it would be due to the comic’s obsession with clowns. My apologies to all the clown lovers out there, but I simply cannot get into them.

I’ve never seen Lost, myself. I hear it initially had potential, but fell apart later on when it had to keep the promises made by its premise. 

But I think was sold it for me was when I got the idea to mix the pairs of slime from their respective guardians. The whole weird mess struck me as an especially novel origin story, and the thought of making these 8 babies all at once was just ridiculous enough to be irresistible. Not just because of the mad science/time travel/paradoxical novelty, but because of the new light it put the characters under. Especially the guardians I think. These weird automaton-like authority figures, mostly obstacles in the early going, are quite probably very much like the kids, just at different stages in their weird lives (i.e. the ones where they lose their facial features). They're all kind of like siblings in a way, even if not all biological. (Though some are!) And I think you could pick up on that from some of the early interactions, that for instance Rose was likely a very similar person to her mom. Her mom just happened to be an adult!

Hussie originally saw the Guardians as pretty similar to their kids - and Rose, in particular, would be quite similar to Mom. We’ve already seen that Rose takes after her father, but it sounds like Roxy’s going to match her vibes, too. 

Laughing my ass off at the implication that there’s an upper limit to that number. 

Damn it, I really was hoping for some sort of anime showdown during the finale. 

Mind you, Hussie’s not saying it won’t happen - just that if it does, it won’t take up a third of the comic’s runtime. 

God, I am so here for nunchuck Sollux, and I’m getting sadder and sadder that these forum threads are all gone. I wonder what other early headcanons people had for the trolls? 

Heh.

See, I kind of figured that Homestuck wouldn’t get fully into the nitty-gritty of a Sburb campaign - but damn, would I still love to see it. I suppose speculating about the game’s mechanics is just as fun, though. 

This answer seems to confirm that Terezi had no idea what the Doomsday Scale really was. 

I wonder what she thought about the fact that it bore her sign? Did she wonder about the Pyrope who left it there, or did she already have a pretty good idea of who it was likely to be? 

[mediocretosubpar-soup]

Something that keeps spinning in my head is the idea of Jiang Cheng joining a nighthunt with Jin Ling, the other juniors as well as Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji (maybe even Wen Ning). What happens is that Jiang Cheng gets hurt, not fatally but enough that having a healer look at it would be the smart move. But Jiang Cheng hides the injury. No one but Jin Ling clocks that there's something wrong with him. He got hit and fought through the pain, so nobody realized that he was injured. After the hunt, the group stays at the same inn. The juniors want to celebrate and Wei Wuxian isn't going to miss on an opportunity to drink and have fun. Jin Ling comes down to dinner and says that Jiang Cheng won't join. He makes a sort of downtrodden face which everyone interprets as him getting a scolding or something from Jiang Cheng. In truth, Jin Ling is worried about his uncle. Wei Wuxian who was and wasn't looking forward to having dinner with Jiang Cheng attempts to cheer Jin Ling up. Saying things like 'Jiang Cheng probably just wants attention, he's always withdrawn to sulk'. When Jin Ling goes to check on Jiang Cheng, Wei Wuxian tells him that he should be enjoying himself instead of indulging the childishness of a grown man.(Is that too harsh?) Jin Ling laughs and says he'll be back soon.

The next day, some Jiang disciples arrive among them someone who Wei Wuxian can identify as a healer, the others can't. Before Wei Wuxian can announce this to the group who is speculating about the Jiang group's arrival, Jin Ling asks him for a word. Which is good because Wei Wuxian also wants words.

Scene: "How could you not tell me that Jiang Cheng's been injured?" Wei Wuxian asks loudly. Jin Ling grimaes and slaps a silencing talisman on the door. What the hell?

Jin Ling glares at him. "Shout more loudly, I'm sure Nie Huaisang in Qinghe didn't hear."

"Jin Ling, you act like ...don't you trust your friends?" Wei Wuxian's chest region stings, he thought, well, it doesn't matter what presumptuous thoughts he had. His crimes cannot be recompensated.

Jin Ling rolls his eyes, "Don't be stupid. Of course, I trust you guys...," he pauses, "...but not with jiujiu."

"That makes no sense." Wei Wuxian says.

Jin Ling snorts as if Wei Wuxian is playing dumb. "Come on, none of you like jiujiu. Ouyang Zhizhen is more neutral but Lan Jingyi and Lan Sizhui, they believe every bad thing, they've ever heard of him. And half the time, you can't shut up about how he's the worst, not to speak of the hiding behind Hangguang-jun whenever you meet, as if you still believe he wants to hurt you." Jin Ling looks quizzically at Wei Wuxian. "I hope, I don't have to point out Hangguang-jun's or the Ghost General's regard for my jiujiu." Wei Wuxian takes a moment to gather his wits. "Hangguang-jun is honorable, he wouldn't let an ally bleed to death." "Jiujiu wasn't in any danger of bleeding to death, don't be dramatic. If it was that serious, I would speak up." Jin Ling says with some exasperation. "It wasn't anything worth owing a favor to another sect." Wei Wuxian sighs. "That's what Jiang Cheng's teaching you? That everything comes down to debts and repayment? No wonder you struggled to make friends as a child." "You're not his friends, though." Jin Ling replies.

[th3-c0ll3ct3r]

I will be the one to say it, wherever we like this side conclusion or not, she dug this pit herself and Iskall provided the shovel

I've heard speculations of their relationship being a much closer than it appears online, and her deleting her channel to hide any trace of her involvement or his involvement while still keeping the comment on Iskall's channel is the nail in the coffin

The only thing that she has on her Channel right now is 36 comments that the majority tie back to Iskall in some way.

And additionally, I'd personally say it's come to a point of devotion and compassion for each other rather than what a normal "relationship" should be

And I want you all to keep in mind that if Stress isn't Iskall's "long-term girlfriend", then there is a woman out there who found out that her boyfriend was cheating on her with multiple of his employees and also possibly including his female best friend because of the amount of devotion they have to each other

But if Stress is the "long-term girlfriend", then this was a clear act of both devotion or she's been hit with trains worth of clarity and realization but I doubt this is the case because the comment is still up

And there was no single threat in her replies

YouTube's AI detection system will automatically delete replies with a threatening nature of that go against community guidelines before the person sees the reply.

Meaning that at the most cleverly worded insults have slipped through the hundreds of common worth of "You're so goated" and "Miss you too" and "We support you too" (update to make sure this was accurate I just checked it this than two minutes before this post and it is indeed compliments)

90% of her replies a positivity. And a couple months ago I even gave her the benefit of the doubt and said not to speculate on her situation because we didn't know any better. Aka even people who were skeptical like me and many others treats it her with integrity and dignity open till that reply was posted

I cannot speak on whether or not Iskall has gotten the threats he claims, but I always encouraged to not leave death threats, so I would imagine that it's a handful of people who do not have a life

But I could say with Confidence that if she got more than 8 threats, which is still not good but is a less considering the circumstances and general uncontrollable public, I would be mind-blown

So I'm very confident in the notion that she did this out of either realization to which I hope it is, and I hope for her community she seeks professional help because that level of devotion is unhealthy makes a steady bouncy back after some time OR it's another act of devotion

Because if he's in a legal case regarding this issue it is commonly advised to remove any incriminating evidence from social media so that it cannot be used against you; and it would be easy to argue their relationship based purely on her videos. Making the deletion of her channel an act of devotion rather than general clarity hitting her

Which is sad. I've never personally watched Many of Her videos only 30 at the most, but the general consensus of disappointment rather than anger putting her Direction leads me to conclude this is out of character behavior for her. And this would reinforce Iskall's repeated manipulation attempts.

It would mean his manipulation is effective and working.

The only possible way I could ever see people generally being outraged at her is if she was in on it too but that has already been confirmed by many of the victims they were unaware that she was also leaving, and were unaware of her general support.

This or will you find out that she's financially contributing to his legal case, to which I would argue the money would be better spent on therapy

But it just seems that she's digging herself into a pit or into a self destructive montage of being in support of someone who does not deserve it

[nateconnolly]

“I have tried to show you what I am,” says Barb, the protagonist of one of the most controversial short stories ever written. “I have tried to do it without judgment. That I leave to you.”

Barb comes from I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter by Isabel Fall, a science fiction story about gender and imperialism. It was Fall’s first published story. There was no backlog of stories to analyze, and her author’s bio was sparse. Readers weren’t given any information about Fall’s gender identity, but that didn’t stop activists from speculating. “… this reads as if it was written by a straight white dude who doesn’t really get gender theory or transition,” complained Arinn Dembo, President of the science fiction writers’ collective SF Canada. The author Phoebe Barton even compared the story to a weapon against trans people: “Think of it as a gun,” she tweeted. “A gun has only one use: for hurting.” N.K. Jemison joined in, tweeting, “Artists should strive to do no (more of this) harm.” But Dembo and the hundreds of thousands of others were mistaken about Fall’s supposed cis identity. The publisher responded to the backlash by taking the story down and posting a statement about the author’s identity. Isabel Fall was a transgender woman, and self-identified activists for trans rights bullied her so mercilessly that she attempted suicide. Dembo later adjusted her criticism, saying “a lot of people might have been spared a lot of mental anguish” if Fall had made a statement about her gender identity. Meaning, Fall had a moral obligation to out herself as a trans woman. Both of Dembo’s comments reveal a preoccupation with the author that distracts from the text. The recent obsession with author identities is one of the great failures of contemporary liberal movements. In order to win liberation for any given group, liberal activists must focus less on who speaks and more on what is spoken. 

Roland Barthes’ 1967 essay The Death of the Author argued that an author’s intentions and life experiences do not make the “ultimate meaning” of their text. The author might as well “die” once the text is in the reader’s hands. The text is “a multi-dimensional space” that one cannot simply flatten with biographical details about the author. Barthes has largely been vindicated among literary critics and theorists, but his idea has not been well-received among liberal activists. It is easy to refuse to acknowledge multiple dimensions of a text. Moralistic groups like liberation movements might even be tempted to sort texts into a simple dichotomy—“good” or “bad,” without any gray areas—on the sole basis of the author’s identity. That is exactly what Dembo tried to do: she suggested that Attack Helicopter was bad simply because of the author’s (supposed) gender. 

I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter is not a transphobic story. Although an in-depth analysis would be beyond the scope of this essay, I can confidently say that Fall critiqued American imperialism, not transgender people. I think that would be clear to anyone who reads the story. But apparently, reading a story is no longer a necessary step in the process of interpreting it. Barton—who suggested her fellow trans woman was a “gun”-wielding transphobe—had not actually read the story. Jemison also admitted she had not read the story before tweeting that it was harmful. We now have a complete reversal of Barthes’ idea: this method of moralistic interpretation is nothing less than the death of the text.

Fall is far from the only queer storyteller to face backlash for allegedly not being queer. Becky Albertalli, Kit Connor (who was still a teenager), and Jameela Jamil all came out of the closet because they were harassed for telling queer stories as “straight” and “cis” people. It is a common talking point in activist circles that the government should not compile lists of queer people or forcibly out them. Why, then, do activists engage in the same behavior? It simply is not always safe to admit that you are gay, or trans, or autistic, or epileptic, or that you have had an abortion. The reason that we need liberation movements for these groups is the same reason that people might not want to publicly claim these identities.

You can read the rest on Substack

[another-goblin]

Spoilers for 2.3

Some thoughts, speculations, and headcanons about our little dialogue with Ratio (+more)

1. This tells me that Ratio and Aventurine are friends (or as close to being friends as both of them are currently capable of, which isn't much, but still). Yes, what Aventurine thinks about TB could have been them discussing their mission. But I choose to think that they just chat with each other sometimes, because they actually enjoy it. Aventurine feels comfortable enough to just share what he thinks about the people he meets, and he knows that Ratio is interested in his opinions, and he's right. He listens and takes note. btw people being actual friends is my favorite trope for romantic couples.

2. Ratio seeing his relationships with Aventurine, and our TB, and people in general as a teacher and a student and being constantly in his teacher mode made me think. Probably all significant relationships in his life were those of a teacher and a student. He cannot see himself in any other role because he has never experienced it himself. I wouldn't be surprised if even his parents provided him with knowledge and education instead of parental love. This may also be why he's so frustrated with people who don't fit these two roles: normal people not interested in bettering themselves through education, students who don't take studying seriously, most scholars, and especially the Geniuses, for not actively sharing their knowledge or doing anything to uplift humanity.

3. Ratio seeing their relationship with Aventurine in particular this way is appropriately weird and a bit unhealthy, in my opinion (but what did we expect from him), considering that they are undeniably close. But that's probably the only way he knows to show his care for somebody:  to teach them stuff and help them better themselves.

4. On Avenrutine's side, he seems amused by it, in a good way (the way he playfully refers to Ratio in the descriptions of some of the 2.1 quests, "Your professor friend," and so on). He even seems to be a bit proud that an actual professor has taken an interest in him.

5. But what can he teach Aventurine? He might share his actual knowledge. I think the "Death" and "Dormancy" part of his note is him doing that. But he mostly sees his duty as a teacher in showing people that they can achieve a lot by themselves if they stop relying on higher beings who don't care about them and start relying on themselves (with little help from Ratio.)

But "relying on himself and achieving things" is what Aventurine has been successfully doing most of his life. So is it the "little help from Ratio" that matters here? Or is he helping Aventurine stop relying on his supposedly supernatural luck and realize how capable he actually is?

6. This. (btw 'philosophical zombie' means "a being in a thought experiment in philosophy of mind that is physically identical to a normal human being but does not have conscious experience" (from wiki), so basically just some weird concept in philosophy.) But what an admirably in-depth knowledge of his 'not partner' he's showing here. Are you equally interested in the inner worlds of all your students, doc?…

7. Anyways, that reminded me of what Jade said about the Stonehearts, even using the same word 'void'. So. Aventurine has a void in his heart, caused by his inability to protect people he cares about. It's very significant that Diamond gave him the power of Preservation specifically to help him fill that void, to be finally able to protect somebody he cares about. The problem is, he doesn't have anyone to protect anymore (he doesn't even see himself as worthy of protection). Until recently. So, and I'm being extremely self-indulgent here, if Ratio got in danger, Aventurine protecting and saving him would fill the void in his heart. And btw what can boost one's self-worth more than protecting somebody who's important to you? I mean, he should snap out of that 'I'm only worth the money my slaveowner paid for me' mentality sooner or later, I hope.

(the problem is, I'm not sure how it can play out now that he doesn't have his stone anymore. And he lost it, not protecting anybody but nearly killing himself and furthering the IPC's agenda. Although doing something like that without the stone would be even more significant)

Also, I hope Ratio won't realize that, and won't deliberately put himself in danger for Aventurine to save him. You know, for educational purposes.

8. He just runs around helping people, making sure everybody's okay, and, emm, 'enhance their living', that's his thing.  And even broadly speaking, with his scientific discoveries, and him saving people on Herta station. And considering that 'everybody's my student' thing, I feel like he sees himself as responsible for everybody (in his own way).

And some people still think that he's selfish and egoistic. He even gets angry when we ask for an autograph:

9. Aaand that's the third time he disappeared in the middle of a conversation involving Aventurine. I understand him, though. As somebody who also 'detests noisy gatherings', group chats aren't much better.

------

ok this was supposed to be hidden in tags but i think tumblr found it too scandalous or something i don't know, i'll just leave it here: the more I write about Ratio, the stronger the urge to just call him Rat, you know, lovingly also whoops sorry, I'm physically incapable of writing short posts, it was supposed to be a short comment about their friendship, how much content can I squeeze out of a half-minute long dialogue?, the answer is yes, but I just had to get it out of my system

[girlactionfigure]

ATTENTION:

The Bibas family is being used as psychological warfare against us

Awareness and grounding is crucial in making sure the enemy cannot hurt us more than they already have on the backs of this precious family.

On October 7th we were all horrified by the images of Shiri Bibas being taken hostage with her two babies, Kfir and Ariel, in her arms.

We all identified with the look of terror in her eyes. With the responsibility of a mother trying to defend her babies.

Her husband, Yarden was taken hostage separately. An entire family, captured by monsters.

When the IDF found footage of Shiri, wrapped in a blanket or carpet but obviously still carrying the children, walking into the compound where her captors took them, it was another punch in the gut. It is hard to carry two small children for so long. How would it be possible to keep them calm?

What happened to them after they exited the frame? There was no information after that, leaving the entire nation to worry and wonder.

Our hearts skipped a beat when we saw orange haired babies. Some of us found ourselves helplessly crying for them. Others couldn’t ignore the irony of the orange that became a symbol for the children was the same shade of orange used to warn that the Disengagement from Gaza would end up in death and destruction….

And then in one of the most extreme acts of cruelty we witnessed in this war, Hamas released a hostage video of Yarden Bibas. Right before the monsters began filming they told him that his wife and babies had been killed and that he should beg our Prime Minster to make sure he gets to see them buried in Israel.

We don’t know if Hamas was telling the truth or lying simply for the sake of being cruel. As far as I know, no proof was provided of their deaths.

And the Bibas family asked us not to speculate because they need to hold on to hope.

Now however hype over information about the family, getting expectations up, is likely to crush the minds and hearts of good people who cannot comprehend this level of evil.

And that is something we cannot allow. The enemy has had enough victories over us. We are broken and having enough trouble breathing. We cannot allow our caring to allow them to injure us more.

Logic tells us that a mother with two babies would be the first hostages to be returned – if they were alive.

Hope prays for a surprise. Perhaps the enemy lied, just for the sake of cruelty. It’s possible. But not likely.

My request is the same as that of the Bibas family. Wait. Don’t speculate. Don’t allow your heart to be used against you.

art by Mirit Noyman

Forest Rain Marcia

[jedimaesteryoda]

One trend I've noticed a lot lately in the speculation of Tyrion meeting Daenerys is how he'll influence her. The argument often is that Tyrion will encourage her more "fire and blood" destructive tendencies when they get to Westeros. However, this view is often one-sided as it's always about how Tyrion will influence Daenerys but never about how Daenerys will influence Tyrion.

"Daenerys, I am thrice your age," Ser Jorah said. "I have seen how false men are. Very few are worthy of trust, and Daario Naharis is not one of them. Even his beard wears false colors." That angered her. "Whilst you have an honest beard, is that what you are telling me? You are the only man I should ever trust?" He stiffened. "I did not say that." "You say it every day. Pyat Pree's a liar, Xaro's a schemer, Belwas a braggart, Arstan an assassin . . . do you think I'm still some virgin girl, that I cannot hear the words behind the words?" "Your Grace—" She bulled over him. "You have been a better friend to me than any I have known, a better brother than Viserys ever was. You are the first of my Queensguard, the commander of my army, my most valued counselor, my good right hand. I honor and respect and cherish you—but I do not desire you, Jorah Mormont, and I am weary of your trying to push every other man in the world away from me, so I must needs rely on you and you alone. It will not serve, and it will not make me love you any better." -ASOS, Daenerys IV

Daenerys is not the sheltered child Aegon was who Tyrion could easily manipulate as shown when she called out Jorah for trying to isolate her from other men. Even Tyrion admitted to Aegon, having never met Daenerys that "she is strong" and "fierce." Daenerys was more worldly at 14 than Aegon is at 16. Even as a small, frightened girl at age 13 in the beginning of the series, she had more street smarts than her adult brother Viserys and has shown to be a prodigy in the series. Tyrion would not be able to manipulate her easily, especially since would initially be wary of him for being a Lannister.

Tyrion at the end of the day would be serving as her subordinate, him being largely dependent on her. Tyrion largely is the way he is because of the toxic family he grew up in. The Lannister vision has no idea of a Good Society, it's just pure self-aggrandizement by any means necessary. As the adage goes, rot always starts at the head. The monarchs Tyrion served as Hand, Joffrey and Cersei, were both cruel, incompetent tyrants with senses of entitlement that outweighed their actual abilities. They also had no concept of the duties of a monarch to their subjects, and instead just abused their power over others, including sexually. The one who actually ran the show for the Lannister regime, Tywin, was a cold, abusive Machiavellian who brutalized the smallfolk and his children, seeing them as pawns in his schemes. Tyrion could be cunning and brutal, because it was both encouraged and necessary for the winner-take-all, dog-eat-dog world of the Lannister court. It was an environment designed to bring out the darker side of his nature.

However, since the beginning we saw hints of the lighter side of his nature such as when he gave emotional support to Jon and designed a special saddle for Bran. He even helped Catelyn when they were attacked by the mountain clans even though she kidnapped him. In A Clash of Kings, we see hints of Tyrion wanting to be something other than the cold Machiavellian like his father when he stands up for Sansa when Joffrey beats her, and he has Morec killed and Slynt sent to the Wall for killing Barra, wanting to "do justice." In A Dance with Dragons, he risks his life to protect Aegon and even in his lowest he looks out for Penny even though she is a complete stranger to him.

Daenerys is a foil to Cersei, whose ruling philosophy is expressed in the statement "Why do the gods make kings and queens, if not to protect the ones who can't protect themselves?" Daenerys tries to live up to the image of an ideal monarch who protects the weak. She liberates the oppressed from slavery and tries to protect them, even performing acts like tending to those afflicted with the bloody flux herself, marrying someone she doesn't want and putting her plan of going to Westeros on hold to achieve peace. Working as Hand to Queen Daenerys, Tyrion may find himself in a change of pace in a different environment where for once his more positive tendencies are encouraged with his fondness for "cripples, bastards and broken things."

In short, in cutting himself off from his toxic family, Tyrion may actually find a new beginning in service to Daenerys. He's the Machiavellian polymath and court politician she needs, and she's the competent, idealistic monarch he needs.

[kingeparr]

abt percy jackson's middle name - a long post

let's talk about percy's middle name, its implication and what is my headcanon for it!!

first a warning!! i know very little abt actual greek mithology. i've tried to read my copy of odyssey and illiad a total of 10 times and i CANNOT for my life understand that shit. having said that, my mythos knowledge is based on hours on wikipedia sources pages, greek miths articles and more. anyways, this will have spoilers of the Percy Jackson Universe by Rick Riordan.

having been warned, I should start with one point:

percy doesn't have a middle name in canon. From what we've known it's never mentioned a middle name at all, wich is not very uncommon in the PJO universe, as most character do not have one (from the top of my head the only ones that canonically have one are Rachel and Reyna (Rachel Elizabeth Dare and Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano))

BUT in most fandom fanfics that feature his middle name, he is called Perseus Achilles Jackson. Again, it is not canon, but it is so common that most people think it is true. Unfortunately, it doesn't make sense.

It's canon that Sally was the one that named Percy, and she chose Perseus, a son of Zeus, as her choice because he was one of the only Greek heroes that in most versions of the myths get to live a long and relatively happy life after their adventures. From what I've known most times Perseus dies of old age or ascends as a constellation along with his mother and his wife, Andromeda.

Now, what are the implications that we know of?

this will be mostly speculation and head canons, so beware!!

i don't think Rick Riordan ever stated, but it is possible to draw parallels between Percy and Annabeth with Perseus and Andromeda, essentially in their first quest, even more in the series. The same is possible to associate with other characters with names derived from Greek myths.

and, until now, all of Percy's quest he has come back alive, even if the world was ending or if he has gone trough Tartarus, he has come back alive.

As it stands in canon, it's often said that names have power !! saying gods, monsters or others names will call their attention, or give them power. it could be associated that those names with History, or a Legacy HAVE more power and purpose behind them. Ex: Castor and Pollux, Jason, could even say Leo etc.

that is great, and reforces that its possible Sally did something right about the naming.

now, next part is a FULL BLOWN HEAD CANON!!

to me, his full name is Perseus Ulysses Jackson. let me tell you why.

Ulysses = Odysseus

Ulysses comes from Odysseus, yes, the Greek hero hated by Poseidon from the Odyssey. Why would Sally do that? Same reason of why Perseus.

Odysseus, despite all his Odyssey, came back home. In the Odyssey, is said he will live the rest of his life peacefully, and apparently he lived mor 10 years as Ithaca's King. There is another myth where he is killed by his son with Circe, but ignore that for this post.

I think it would make sense for the way they both lived that even if Poseidon hated him, that Sally would have her son named after a hero and a general that even after everything he went trough he still made home, still had people who believed in him, even if Sally herself were not there to see him, like Odysseus' mother, at least he would be alive.

Someone that is selfish in a way if that means he lives. In the same way Sally calls herself selfish for trying to have Percy with her for more time during the years before TLT. For that she endured Gabe.

Not that she knew that of course, but the fates could be at work. I'm always fan of a good foreshadowing.

Now Speaking of foreshadowing, next topic

2. Ulysses - Roman name

Ulysses is the roman version of Odysseus, still has the same meaning and the roman version of the myth is not that different. Why roman, then?

First, because my Odyssey copy was with the Roman names and I was very pissed at that when I was 12 and tried reading it for the first time and discovered that the FUCKING ODYSSEY MAN WAS NOT CALLED ODYSSEUS IN MY VERSION, to my frustration.

ANYWAY, second point: Percy has a connection to the Roman since the first book.

In his classes with Chiron, Percy fights in Roman armor, swords and has Latin classes, and while that is all good and cool, i always found it strange of Chiron to teach Latin, and not Greek. Of course, it could be a ruse of Chiron to distance Percy even more from his greek side, while still helping him learn about the world. it could be nothing.

but to me is not nothing.

Percy has a weird facility with Latin at 12 that Jason did not have with Greek at 16. And while it could be argued that they did not have their memories, Percy was a 12 yo boy that CURSED IN LATIN in a time of distress. I bet they did not have classes about "How to curse in Latin" and i doubt Percy searched for that somewhere.

Percy is very connected with the Roman side of the demigod world, he feels drawn to New Rome, goes to the Roman Uni and he gets so wrapped in it he becomes PREATOR in like a week!! while Jason spent months on the Greek side.

Percy has a lot of participation in Both sides of the demigods being a kinda important figure in both camps.

now, a subtopic.

Percy Jackson: Son of Neptune

Percy is presented as a son of Neptune from the get go in camp Jupiter, wich he doesn't protest at any time (from what i remember), the thing is Poseidon IS different from Neptune specially their roots.

Poseidon is primarily the god of the sea. Neptune is the god of rivers, springs, and waters.

Technically, Percy should not have control of any type of water or rivers, his father is the god of SEA, saltwater. Even then, he can control even the rivers in the Underworld. He has such control of "water" that he can control ALL LIQUIDS! That is not Poseidon's domain, the control of Waters is Neptune's.

knowing this i like to believe the following.

Percy is the son of both Poseidon and Neptune. Don't ask me the logistics, i wouldn't know, and i don't care. HOWEVER when you add things up, it makes sense, in my head, at least.

In conclusion, Sally associates her son's fate with two heroes that go trough MANY hardships but get back home, are strong and live kind of happy lives after that. One of them is mainly Greek, being his first name, what he is primarily called. The other is Roman, it is there, but it's not mentioned, but it still is his name, and it gives him power.

Specially, when you think that the roman counterparts all have a child, except Neptune. Pluto has Hazel, Hades had Bianca and Nico. Jupiter had Jason, Zeus has Thalia. Poseidon has Percy, Neptune has no one? seems unequal and unbalanced in a way the gods wouldn't allow.

Not only that but why would Neptune "claim" or let be claimed a son that wasn't his when Rome hasn't been grateful or careful with him? His last child was scorned (i don't remember the name but it's said that they were basically blamed for earthquakes or something in the 1900)

as the series goes and percy draws MUCH MORE POWER from rivers and other liquids than from the ocean, and the time it took for percy to be born he could be powerful from both sides. he is the first demigod of Poseidon in 70+ years, but he is the first demigod rrom Neptune in 100+ !!!

it makes sense that even if he is called a greek, as his name evokes, he is connected and powerful on his Roman side. It is not a coincidence that people thought he was a god when he first arrived in Camp Jupiter.

It's a tribute for both his Roman and Greek sides, to invoke the names and fates of two powerful kings that are burdened with responsibility, and that learned and lived after their quests.

i could talk about this for hours, specially if Epic's Odysseus by Jorge Rivera-Herrans is taken in account (wich I am doing) but I will not elaborate

anyway, Percy's middle name is Ulysses and I'm right, idc.

[wayward-delver]

Someone on Twitter was surprised/confused by the Disassembly/Murder Drones' very large wingspan, but actually, this is a stroke of realism as this is consistent with giant soaring species from real life. The bigger you're overall body size/weight, your wings must be proportionally larger to compensate. Allow me to elaborate further on this.

Now upon first hearing that, one might suggest the Murder Drones' wings should be even larger since they're robots and are probably heavier than organic life. But this isn't true cause Worker Drones are extremely light seeing as Tessa can easily carry them, Murder Drones are clearly much larger perhaps 2-4xs the weight but likely not much heavier than a human judging by the physics presented.

There are many benefits to being gigantic fliers over other types of flight. For one it is perhaps the move efficent form of long distance travel in nature; the wing's surface area generates a lot of lift/power, the mass of the body means gives them with stability and a resistance against the elements. This means they can fly at great heights and travels massive distances on few and shallow wingbeats for extended while burning next to no energy. The benefits this has for Disassembly Drones should be obvious regarding the "nature" of their being. And despite the robots clearily staying afloft at least partially by artifical means such as hovering, it's clear the huge wings are still mandatory to achieve.

Ofcourse there are other benefits to this form travel such as spotting and getting the drop on unsuspecting prey, quite literally in this case. While they aren't as heavily armed as the machines, being a giant flier requires a lot nutrients, something plants can't provide without being a detriment to flying ability at this scale. So that only left meat on the table and therefore all truly large soaring animals are carnviores. Now there are steamrolling to this, as flying means they sweep through numerous areas effectively and burning relatively little energy between visits. Allowing them to binge on many small meals or a single large one and rest it off in a high place where enemies cannot reach them,(although adults tend not to have any predators).

Ofcourse this is mostly speculative and I don't believe Liam or Glitch thought this hard about extinct birds and pterosaurs to explain wings meant mostly to look cool/scary while also stabbing/blocking things. But it's fun when interesting elements in a world actually fits in with reality as it grounds the fiction, making the world more emersive.

P.S. To any artists making MD OCs larger than the characters, go wild.

[sandyhorse333]

Clearing some things up about the following because some people cannot keep their mouths shut, AKA explanation post regarding being harassed online

TW rape threats + sexual talk of a minor

>"@/aaronzbiggestsuperfan" / if I use she/her, assume it's in referral to this person

There has been 'drama' with her that has revolved around me.

No, I'm not asking you to make posts about this or attack her, I am asking the opposite.

Please read this thoroughly.

These are screenshots from the original ordeal. Essentially, my boyfriend had blocked her and she sent me a dm asking why, so I responded (she had sent me an ask, I responded in DM's as not to make it public). Conversation continues as shown

>Sidenote, I made a joke mid-way through because I thought she was joking or trolling or something. I apologize for that

This was the last interaction we had directly. This was 2 months ago.

A little after this, however, they began making vague posts like "Should I expose people in the stuilly fandom?"

They ended up making a post which included me in it, and then followed it up with more posts, painting me as a villain or as if we had drama. We didn't. This is literally all that happened.

I was very overwhelmed and affected by this because I have been harassed online and cyber-stalked before but I did try my hardest to be mature. I had never insulted them at all nor have I accused them of things other than what I've written here. I believe all those posts I just detailed are still up on her page.

Now, this is where misconceptions come in.

No, I did not accuse her of sending me death threats, rape threats, and I didn't tell any friends or mutuals she did that. What had happened was, after she made those posts "exposing me" (within hours) I and my friends began to receive an influx of anonymous asks saying things about me. I never ended up saving any, though I have pictures of something similar, and those will be attached. I never accused aaronzbiggestsuperfan to have sent them, though in private, I speculated aloud on who it may be during vents, because it was really getting to me. I had to take multiple breaks from the internet. This is not her fault, and I don't think all of them were from here. I don't have any proof a single one was from her, therefore I ask you not to assume it is from her.

As of late, and as this topic has been coming back (keep in mind I haven't interacted with it nor brought it up publicly in 2 months), and I have received another wave of asks.

Here's an example, where I am getting a rape threat.

these are both from my mutual, @/seriousandclean. the first one is an ask he responded to, and the second is one he hadn't responded to, but screenshotted and sent to me per my request.

No, I never told anyone in private I thought these asks were from aaronzbiggestsuperfan. She had no way of knowing these traumatic events that had gone down in my life. This is not relevant to anyone on here, but I believe this is from someone I used to know online who I thought was my friend.

I am mentally in a very bad place right now due to all of this and have expressed it countless times in hopes it quiets a little bit of this but it has, unfortunately, not. There are now people in groups I'm in talking about it, and people asking my mutuals, and friends, and boyfriend about it, and it really goes on.

Something extra is she was apart of a discord server I was in. There wasn't nor isn't any drama pertaining to that which I'm involved in directly, but it is about me I believe? The deal is I left before anything was said, before she was kicked from the server, and before she was apparently accused of sending those asks I attached. This has all blown out of my control where I feel people are twisting my words whether it be in defense or offense of me and it is all being blamed on me. I don't know what happened in the discord beyond those bare details, nor do I have interest in figuring them out. I don't want responses, I don't want anything. I just want this to stop because it has come to a point where I and adults are receiving things detailing my sexual trauma. I'm 14. Those pictures of asks were just the only ones I saved. There are many others.

i'm not coming back, i'm only posting this in hopes it stops being as relevant in my life.

thanks for reading

[seancekitsch]

Can’t Stand Me Now; a modern Aegon x Stark! reader fic

CHAPTER TWO: Everything is Embarrassing

Y/N Stark and Aegon Targaryen. Aegon Targaryen and Y/N Stark. Inseparable since both eldest children met at Kings Landing University, until they weren’t. One night of drunken passion ruins it all.

Five years later, Aegon is coming off a broken engagement to Larissa Lannister and sends a risky Instagram DM to none other than Y/n Stark.

series masterlist here

warnings for the series: smut, smoking, drinking, friends to strangers to lovers, angst, fluff, more to come as needed

You wake up at dawn, shades nonexistent over the large window that covers most of the wall in Aegon’s living room. It’s warm, cozy, and genuinely you consider going back to sleep. The hangover has yet to hit you, but you know it will as soon as you’re vertical, so you stretch from your spot laying sprawled across the couch. Only, a disgruntled meow stops you from raising your arms too much. 

“Oh, Sunfyre!” you whisper, “I’m so sorry, little man, I wake you?”

The massive orange furball responds with his own stretching, but then very quickly gets himself comfortable again, purring next to your face as he settles back in to sleep. You reach for him to wrap an arm around him, kissing his little kitty shoulder blade as he relaxes on the pillow. It breaks your heart, knowing he still settles in with you after all this. He had barely been a year when it all went down, and yet he still snuggled up to you as if just yesterday you were calling yourself his mum and carrying him around Aegon’s flat like a baby to show him things on the high shelves he had never seen. You wish you had seen his terrible twos, wish you had seen the slow transition from the still kitten shaped thing he was to this adult long-haired house lion. 

A snore from the other room breaks the spell. It’s then that you remember the full gravity of where you are. Where the hell even were you? Where was Aegon living these days?

You’re extremely careful in untangling yourself from Sunfyre, who makes displeased little noises but does not lift his head up again. You roll yourself off of the couch, thankful of socks hitting carpet not making a noise. Sunfyre looks so cute, you cannot help but press another kiss to his forehead as you shove your feet into your shoes from last night. Your discarded jacket gets slung over your shoulder as you very carefully undo the lock on the door and slip through it with as little noise possible.

Success. Avoidance at its finest. You all but run down to the street below, happy to meet the bright sun, despite the fact that it makes you feel like your eyeballs are about to pop like warm grapes. There’s that hangover, immediately in full swing as the street air hits you. You almost curl inward on yourself, your jacket and purse clutched tight to your ribcage as you survey your surroundings in the daylight. Right, you remember looking for the stop last night. Four stops north of yours, easy peasy. Your feet guide you down to the track, and your body autopilots you home.

Unfortunately, you realize as you look at a dying phone, you’re going to have to miss class with Sara. She’ll no doubt be bitching about it later when you’re both working at the shop. She works there, more or less, as a way to just spend time with you. Sara doesn’t need the money, as your father still pays her credit card. He’s always done that for Sara, whether it be out of love for the baby of the family or guilt, he’ll never say.

You don’t know if you should even say it, but the parentage of yourself and your siblings has been a long speculated question. Yourself, the eldest, looks a lot like Dad’s secretary, but you are Mother’s favorite. Cregan is definitely Mother’s, because she spent your entire childhood complaining about his pregnancy. Sara you both knew was from an affair, Mom having moved into the ski cabin when Dad brought her home, but still she opened her arms to your baby sister and that was that. Aegon’s family is maybe the only one you’ve met that’s more dysfunctional than yours. Maybe money breeds it, you have to think, and maybe that’s why the thought of taking any of the Stark family fortune after university makes you feel sick and exhausted. Maybe that’s why you won’t go home, even though the past five years despite all of your successes have had you running from a southern ghost.

Your shop opens on Saturday’s around noon, which means that you have plenty of time.

You shower, shave, grab a sugar free redbull from the rack you have dedicated for them in your fridge, you water plants. Everything to mimic the behavior of someone who doesn’t have a raging hangover.

And as eleven rolls around, you almost forget the circumstances of your morning, as if it never happened. Today could be salvaged, and everything could seem normal.

You can tell the exact moment that he wakes up, though, because your phone practically becomes a bomb in your palm. He calls, incessantly, unrelentingly, constantly. You let the call miss six times, a tiny act of revenge against him. It feels petty, but you don’t owe him the twinge of guilt. If anything, he owes you everything.

“What?” you finally answer on the seventh call, hoping that if he hears you’re awake and angry, he can finally stop calling.

“You’re gone!” he exclaims, strain evident in his voice, “You’ve gone… where?”

You roll your eyes. Did he really expect you to stay?

“I went home, Targaryen,” you spit his name like a curse, “You made sure I was safe and I thank you for that but really whatever game you’re playing I don’t want to play.”

You sigh, putting it on speaker phone so you can rest your face in your hands, leaning against the counter as frustration brings back your headache. A dull throbbing that Aegon has created within you.

“I’m not playing any game.”

“You text me like a fuckboy.”

“I text everyone like a fuckboy.”

Ugh, he’s impossible.

“I really really want to talk to you.”

“Speak!” you nearly shout, growing increasingly annoyed.

“It’s not something that we should do over the phone, it’s important. I don’t want us to stay apart,” he says, his voice sounding watery and stressed on the other end. Is he fucking kidding? The ache turns red, until it’s all you can see in your anger. His family may say they are fire made flesh, but they are nothing compared to you in this moment.

“I’ve had to get along without you for five years now,” You seethe into the phone, frustration making your face hot, “I think I can continue the trend.”

“But I can’t —“ you hang up while he’s mid response, and tears flow instantaneously. You wipe tears away, breathe deeply, and decide that you will not let the backslide happen, you will not let Aegon in just to abandon you again. You will not be vulnerable, not if you can help it. You feel as if you’ve already let enough show. Between last night and today, you’ve given too much away. If you were smart and unfeeling, you would have easily blocked his message without reading it and you would not have been too hungover to go to barre class this morning.

However, you are probably only smart, and very often feelings cloud your judgement. If your father, or Cregan were here, they’d say it was because of the south’s influence on you. Far and few Weirwood trees grow down here, and they’d claim it’s your lack of connection to the Old Gods that makes you so brash and conflicted. And maybe they’re right, you think for a brief second. Aegon has always clouded your mind and judgement, though you always liked it that way. Any ‘me’ became ‘we’, and that’s went for professional as well as personal endeavors; from internships to party hosting to a very long string of failed relationships. He would get fired, his parents would attempt to cut him off, he would fight (sometimes even physically) with his siblings and cousins, he’d get dumped, and you’d be there patching him up and helping him dress for interviews. He’d accidentally scare away suitors, you’d get turned down for loans, complain endlessly about your flat, and he’d come over and hold you and help you think of business strategies and help you take your mind off guys while ordering take out on his own dad’s card. You never saw anything as a failure, though, because you and Aegon were always cleaning up after each other.

You sigh as you throw your phone down on the counter, shoving your hands in your jackets pockets to retrieve your keys and wallet so you can transfer them to your purse for work. Only, your left hand touches something that is very much not either thing you need.

You pull it out slowly, a polaroid picture, one thats been bent up.

Aegon's smiling at you in the picture again, this one a subdued, almost thoughtful smile. You're holding a bottle of champagne next to him, winking at the camera. The two of you are surrounded by boxes and candles; The night he helped you move into your first flat you had saved money for. Mr. Cole had taken the picture, a quick snap after a long day of unloading one of the Targaryen vans. Aegon had slept over that night, despite the face that you only had a mattress with no bed frame.

There’s marker on the back, faded pink sharpie that says, in Aegon’s sloppy scrawl:

FAVORITE ONE

When you turn it over again, you finally let yourself feel the emotion you’ve been trying to avoid. You let yourself do what you never wanted to do again.

You admit to yourself that you miss Aegon, more than anything, and sob.

“Guess what I’ve got!” 

Aegon’s voice booms across the apartment, still echoing from the lack of rugs or furniture, no where for the sound to go but bounce off the walls and ceiling. Your head jerks up from where you’re digging in a box, only to find him in the doorway blocking your exit. He’s clad in short green velvet shorts, a grey sweater vest with nothing underneath, and the disgustingly dirty Converse you’d tried to throw out multiple times. And in his hand… fuck. Two squirt guns, shaped like penises. Right, you should have known that instead of helping his butler with your boxes that were in a van, he was going into the sex shop below your flat. It wasn’t an idea set up, but it’s the biggest flat that fits your budget, and at this point in college you rather die than call up dear old dad for some money. Hell, maybe you’ll even apply to the shop below for some extra throw around. 

“No,” you gasp, already knowing what he’s doing. He tosses one of them your way, and by the way it clatters next to you, it’s clear that it’s full. Oh, it’s on. Aegon shoots, cold water hitting you between the eyes. 

“First blood!” he shouts, and you spring into action giving chase behind him. The two of you tear through the small flat, jumping over boxes and behind chairs to dodge the attacks.  Aegon tries to think ahead, bolting down the hallway to where your bedroom and bathroom are, still not set up minus a shower curtain and a bare mattress. You grab him by his vest, trying to slam him into the wall to slow him down.

You fully intend to take him out execution style. He falls sideways, catching himself against the door frame to your bathroom, taking one knee down as you move to the opposite door way. You stand there, penis gun gripped in both hands. Aegon holds both of his hands up in mock defeat, the trigger of the water gun hanging on his pinky. He smiles up at you sheepishly, his hair a mess and water running down the side of his cheek. You lower your gun, right between his eyes.

“Do you admit defeat to the northern forces, M’Lord?” you ask him, putting on a voice you think one of your warrior ancestors would have. 

“I…. I…” he draws out, and then springs, leaping at you. His arms circle around your middle as he pushes you back through your bedroom door. You land hard on the mattress, the springs squeaking as you bounce onto it. Aegon jumps on top of you, messing up your hair and play wrestling you as if you were one of his brothers.

“You fucking asshole!” you shout, but you’re giggling as you play slap at his back and relax into the grip. He stops only when he gets comfy on the mattress, slumping against it and bringing you with him in a weird half cuddle pile of a position. 

He drops his head against your chest and squeezes you, sighing as he does. 

“Promise me nothing changes, yeah?” he asks, sadness seeping into his tone. 

“Age, I’m only gonna be two stops away now, its not like I’m moving back to Winterfell,” you laugh, but your hand comes up to comfort him, caressing his damp hair. Neither of you move until his stomach grumbles, and you push him off you. 

“Pub?” you ask.

“Pub.” he confirms, water guns and boxes already forgotten as he helps you back up. 

Everything was that easy with Aegon.

An hour later, you find yourself in the back office of your shop, Sara up front and tending to customers. Your eyes are still a little puffy and red, but it’s nothing that a little incense and eyeliner cannot make an excuse for. When Sara had seen your face, she decided not to bitch at you for ditching her this morning, instead opting for the normal Saturday routine. You owe her at least two coffees and a bottle of wine for not making you talk about it.

Saturday is always a fun day, bustling sidewalks and people stopping in big groups, the brunchers making large purchases fueled by mimosas and bloody mary’s that help keep the lights on. You always take the post-brunch rush to review and pack online purchases, as Sara is lovely with the trendy college crowd and makes astronomical sales. You swear that she should go the influencer route, her charm and poise her strongest suit and clearly endearing her to everyone. 

Order packaging is much more your speed. It’s a methodical, almost mindless task. You have all of your designs organized perfectly, so each order is simply pulling items from their designated little slot on the wall. Everything lined up like an old school mail organizer, custom dark wood shelves holding every piece arranged by size and color in specific labeled slots. You've taught yourself to love monotony.

You pull and package seven orders before one of them gives you pause.

First off, it’s over eight hundred golden dragons. Thats more than half of your flat’s rent. Its all men’s clothing: a black tunic, a bespoke blazer with a gold chain slipped through the lapel and connecting into the pocket, multiple pairs of chino pants, and your favorite thing you’ve designed, a gold duster that goes over the middle and ring finger designed to look like the snapping upper jaw of a dragon’s mouth. 

This’ll be a fun one, you think, grabbing your basket and kicking over your step stool to get started.

It’s the special instructions memo on the order that makes you freeze, and you read it once, two times, three times. 

“You won’t let me talk, so let the money talk instead.”

This is Aegon’s order. Aegon will be wearing these clothes. Your designs, some of which he had even watched you draft. 

You can’t help but laugh as you shake your head at that. Same old Aegon, same old humor. His charms always worked on you. You could never say no to each other, no matter what. You keep staring at the message, wanting to reply with something snarky, wanting to do something to egg him on like old times. You realize now how large of a hole his departure left in you. It was cavernous, really, and you’d never noticed it until now. You click on his email address, fingers hovering over the keyboard.The shaking of your hands stops you, though. 

It really is too easy to fall into old habits.