#and some fucking film festival shirt that looks nothing like the type of stuff that i wear

[thesaucemanstrikesback]

Today was the first Christmas without my dad

I asked my mom to rip off the tags on his presents to me, but I could still tell which was his

The curiosity on my mom's face as I opened it and the unrecognized wrapping paper gave it away

And of course, the gifts.

I could tell it was from him because it didn't feel like it was for me. They didn't feel thoughtful, they weren't anything I could have been interested in.

Even if they were, they've been soiled by my father's inability to care.

Every gift from my mother felt like her noticing something I wanted or needed and getting for me.

Every gift from my father felt like him desperately trying to rekindle our "bond" by grasping onto and shopping for a vague memory of me.

But, thanks for the pepperoni sticks, Dada.

I guess you forgot I didn't like them.

[podrickpaynest]

@ avocadotoastinspace  

this is like... this is basically rocket fuel for my rambling. i want to talk about it so often but i never do because i assume no one would care, so thank you so much for the opportunity. it's going to be long and i'm so sorry in advance, you can fully ignore me - but still thank you for giving me an excuse to write about this.

(I'm including the dates, because they set a telling pattern.)

14.06.2019 - I casually went to see that allegedly nice Elton John biopic with my friend from work. I haven't seen trailers. I didn't care much about Elton John. We had the very best seats in the entire theatre, which I thought was a nice touch. You know, not expecting ANYTHING. The rest is history. I knew I want to re-watch this at the point of Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting sequence. I remember leaving the cinema with my face hurting from smiling (I had this stupid deeply satisfied I-just-fell-in-love grin through the whole movie, probably, with some breaks for deep despair) and telling my friend jokingly: Shit, I need to see it like ten more times before they take it off. I knew NOTHING.

17.06.2019 - I already knew I'm going to re-watch Rocketman very soon, since I wanted to show the film to my best friend. That day was quite hectic at work and I was a little bit feverish, and I felt miserable, and I really didn't want to get back home to be all alone, and by God, I MISSED that movie already. After work I lied to myself a bit that I'm taking different route home just because I missed the bus and I didn't want to wait for the next one - the fact I was going past a small local cinema on my way was a complete accident, of course. I bought my ticket, waited for about an hour; I was one of the very few people attending that screening - just a small group of 20-something girls and two slightly older ladies I think? Trust me, watching Rocketman while breaking a fever?? I felt literally hugged by this film; immersed in it completely, my head hurt and my heart hurt, and it was so lovely. When I admitted at work to my colleagues next day that I've already re-watched it (since someone asked me would I recommend it), one of them went like: Aw, and you didn't tell me? i want to see it so much but my borfriend doesn't want to go with me and I don't have anyone to go with, and I answered by But that's not a problem at all, just tell me when.

20.06.2019 - Thursday after work it was. I remember that friend leaning to my ear during Saturday Night's Alright scene and whispering It is so great, as she apparently fell utterly in love in the same moment. She's seen it three times since and we're discussing it frequently.

22.06.2019 - finally took my best friend to see Rocketman. 25.06.2019 - and she wanted to see it again. 29.06.2019 - and at this point we both just needed to have Rocketman tickets booked to keep us going. 03.07.2019 - needless to say: she loved it too. 08.07.2019 - five times we went together.

Basically what I remember the most from those screenings was:

- the audience got bigger and bigger with every screening.

- people continued to laugh in inappropiate moments. Heterosexual men cursed under their noses at the sex scene sometimes.

- during one of the screenings we bought tickets separatedly and ended up sitting two seats away in the same row. We were hoping no one will fill in those seats and got pissed when we saw someone approaching, but it turned out that was two young gay dudes on a date.  Felt actually fair.

- SO MANY GAY DATES

- speaking of which, I live in Poland, right? Probably not the worst but definitely not the easiet country to be an openly non-heteronormative person. Seeing those dates was so important and comforting, and mattered A LOT. The same goes for audience getting bigger in time - this movie had practically no outdoor advertising, hardly anyone heard about it, and that only could mean that people were actually recommending it back and forth. In the country where the government does nothing to protect LGBTQ+ people from bullies? Heart-fucking-warming, I'm telling you.

- but ALSO. Before one screening I noticed two quite threatening looking blokes walking in. They wore this sort of "patriotic" t-shirts and looked in general like those borderline-nazi subculture festering shits in Poland that always appear to protest any sort of pride/rally and yell about sending f*****s (and all minorities) to gas chambers and other lovely stuff like that. I got actually quite nervous because I half expected them to either start giving us trouble right away, or at least once any kind of gay stuff happens on screen. I had my eye on them through half of the movie, and you know what? THEY WERE ON A DATE. No problems from them whatsoever.

- there was always someone overjoyed upon realizing the jean jacket was an actual item of clothing Elton John once wore. Also people going audibly awww when picture of little Reggie is shown.

- a least a couple of girls gasping so audibly when they see what John Reid is doing in front of the fucking pool boys.

- at some point I took a cab to the theatre and my taxi driver played Elton John for me.

- I was freaking out all the time that this is the time when I'm overdoing it, this is the time I don't really need to watch it again and I'll just get bored. Didn't happen once.

10.07.2019 - I realized they are pulling Rocketman out of the cinemas in my city next day. I was unable to attend the very last screening, so I panic!bought a ticket while I was still at work. Now, as much as watching and discussing Rocketman with friends is fun, I think watching it alone has completely different quality to it and I might've enjoyed those two screenings I saw it alone the most. For me the heart and core of the movie is lonelines -  I think seeing this movie alone at least once is highly recommendable, and in the theatre full of people at that, and not in home. For me it was incredibly powerful experience, especially knowing I'm kind of saying goodbye to it, at least in the theatre quality. Bonus: almost entire row of older ladies dancing in their seats during Crocodile Rock sequence. I cried about that a little.

30.07.2019 - soooo I went for a short vacation to Czech Republic to see my friends and attend music festival. Hardcore punk music festival, mind you.  I tried not to talk about Rocketman too much because my my friends definitely are not Elton John musical type of people, I failed frequently but still I'd like to think I did a good job. After the festival, when I was hanging around Prague with one of my friends - actually the one I consider to be my bestie - he all of the sudden says that maybe we can try to see if they still play Rocketman there. It's not like I haven't checked before going there, right... I tried to protest a little, because I was fairly sure he was offering it only to be a good host, he really wasn't interested. Another thing is: listen, not to sound dramatic but Prague is my Rocketman among the cities. Love of my life. I went once, came back next year, kept going back at least once a year (but generally as often as possible), because I fell in love with it. It's a massive crush. Experiencing those two things together: Prague and Rocketman? Jesus, I can't really start to explain how overwhelmingly wholesome it felt to me. But! I'm getting ahead of myself.

We finally went, me feeling slightly guilty for forcing him in a way. It was a small theatre, very nice and with an old-school feeling: red curtains, red seats, all that.  Not that many people in the audience, but it was also one of the last weeks when Rocketman was being screened in the country, so understandable. 

I tried not to look to my friend's direction, because I was so scared I'll see him suffering through all the musical sequences - or asleep. THEN I've heard a little bit of snickering from his side when they opened a celebratory champagne in Dick's office. I still refused to look. And then, during Amoreena sequence, when they are going through L.A, my friend leaned in to me and whispered: I love it. Long story short, three days later he messaged me on Facebook: I've watched Rocketman three times and Please send me recommendations of Elton John's live videos and you can't convince me this movie is not a drug now. Bonus from that screening: lady who was weeping her eyes out next to me. She sobbed through entire last therapy scene and I just hope she sometimes feel I love her. 

Also, I don't really read subtitles, but I checked a couple of times, and I think Czech subtitles were by far better than Polish ones (there were some ridiculous mistakes in Polish translation).

So here's that. I am truly sorry for rambling like a maniac again, but I'm forever grateful that I could pour that out and re-live it a little bit. Needless to say: I'm also very curious about your experiences and I'd love to read about them if you only have time to share.

[doomedandstoned]

Conan Share Earth-Shaking Set at The Live Room in Belfast (plus Interview!)

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

Doomed & Stoned is proud to partner with CONAN and The Live Room Belfast to share this striking live studio performance of the band playing three of their standards: "Total Conquest," "Satsumo," and "Gravity Chasm." This comes just weeks ahead of Conan's new album, 'Existential Void Guardian' (2018), releasing September 14th on Napalm Records.

Start Together Studio recently launched The Live Room Belfast to invite touring bands in for special recordings, usually between 3-5 songs, as a way to capture the intimacy of a live studio performance. This set was recorded, mixed, and edited by Niall Doran, with help from Assistant Audio Engineer Paddy McEldowney, and filmed by Ciara McMullan. The team did a fantastic job of capturing the massive weight of the Liverpool trio's legendary riffs and especially the fearsome caveman vocals of frontman Jon Davis.

This all took place on May 16th, the morning before Conan took the stage with Monolord and Elder Druid at Voodoo Belfast for an unforgettable show. Jon also sat down with Elder Druid guitarist Jake Wallace (who organized our recent Doomed & Stoned in Ireland compilation) for an in-depth interview.

And now, it's time for Jon Davis (guitar/vox), Chris Fielding (bass), and Johnny King (drums) do their thing! Enjoy...

Conan On Tour

10.08.18 PT - Moledo / Sonic Blast Moledo Fest 11.08.18 UK - Winchester / Boomtown Fair 16.08.18 IR - Galway / The Loft 17.08.18 IR - Cork / Cyprus Avenue 18.08.18 IR - Limerick / Dolans Warehouse 30.09.18 UK - Sheffield / O2 Academy 02.10.18 NL - Eindhoven / Effenaar 03.10.18 DE - Bochum / Rockpalast 04.10.18 DE - Hamburg / Logo 05.10.18 DE - Berlin / Musik & Frieden 06.10.18 PL - Wroclaw / Firlej 07.10.18 PL - Warsaw / Poglos 09.10.18 LT - Vilnius / Rock River Club 10.10.18 LV - Jelgava / Melno Cepuriso Balerija 11.10.18 EE - Tallinn / Sveta 13.10.18 FI - Helsinki / Blow Up 4 Festival 15.10.18 SE - Stockholm / Kraken 17.10.18 SE - Malmo / Plan B 19.10.18 DK - Copenhagen / Stengade 20.10.18 NL - Leeuwarden / Into The Void Festival 07.11.18 AU - Canberra / The Basement 08.11.18 AU - Melbourne / Max Watts 09.11.18 AU - Sydney / Manning Bar 10.11.18 AU - Brisbane / Crowbar 12.11.18 NZ - Wellington / Valhalla 13.11.18 NZ - Auckland / Whammy Bar 16.11.18 RU - Moscow / Aglomerat 17.11.18 RU - St. Petersburg / Zoccolo 23.11.18 UK - Nottingham / The Loft 24.11.18 UK - Leeds / Temple Of Boom 25.11.18 UK - Newcastle / Byker Grave Festival 26.11.18 UK - Glasgow / Audio 27.11.18 UK - Manchester / Rebellion 28.11.18 UK - Coventry / The Arches 29.11.18 UK - Cardiff / Clwb Ifor Bach 30.11.18 UK - Milton Keynes / The Craufurd Arms 01.12.18 UK - London / Boston Music Rooms 02.12.18 UK - Oxford / Buried In Smoke X-Mas Weekender

Interview with Jon Davis of Conan

~By Jake Wallace (Elder Druid)~

Recorded May 16, 2018 in The Live Room Belfast

Do you enjoy being on the road so much?

Yeah, we do. We have always tried to tour as much as possible, ever since the very beginning. I remember the first time we played outside of Liverpool with Charger in late 2010, and that was a really big thing, something we were pushing for to try and breakout of Liverpool gigs. We almost immediately started getting opportunities to tour and play, and for a year or so it was just weekends here and there, I really loved that. Then we got the opportunity to go touring around Europe. Of course, that brought its own problem then, because we had to get a van, so we invested a bit of money in an old Ford Transit. And I remember spending nearly £600 on installing a cool sound system in there, so that we could listen to Iron Maiden on the road full blast. Like with speakers right by our heads in the bulkhead.

There's something about being on the road, and everyday just looking forward to playing the music that you've written, and the law of seeing the reaction of people who are listening to your music, that you've written sometimes easily, sometimes songs have come together when they've been difficult to write. I've always found it really rewarding to play music, whether I'm on my own, or whether in the practice room with the lads, or whether onstage. And I remember when I was 16, promising myself I would do this, telling myself that I'm gonna play music cause I saw playing music as a long term thing that I would be in charge of. I never really wanted to work for anyone else, I always wanted to do music, and I remember as a shy and less than confident teenager, thinking this is a path that I can grow, and I really enjoy, something I could do for the rest of my life, hopefully.

When I get too old to lug cabs then I'll just pick up an acoustic, and do something with that. So getting on the road has been something we've loved from day one, and now were touring all over the world. This year already, we've had a US of 5 weeks, we've been to Japan for a week, and we've got more far-flung shows lined up for the end of the year, not announced yet, plus European tours, another UK Tour, and we've got an album out soon. I mean it's just -- we love it. I couldn't do anything else now, if I had to have an office job, I'd probably commit suicide, seriously. (laughs)

What make Monolord the perfect match for this tour, and will you be back in Ireland anytime soon?

I mean, we wanted a band as physically attractive as us, and we've finally done it with Monolord. Seriously though, they are a really cool band, they are really good people to tour with, they're professional, friendly, really interesting people, and they come from a different culture to ours, and we enjoy being on the road with them. We're not sharing a van with them, although we have done, we shared a night liner with them in October last year. And we didn't know what to expect then, as we didn't know them very well on that tour, but we got along really well. They're from a different culture but very similar people, at the same time, at the core of what we all are in a love for music, and they put their money where their mouth is, in terms of that. They also like to tour a lot, they release really great music, and they're a really good live act. So when you are choosing a band to tour with, our booking agent puts forward bands and it was really natural, that us and Monolord tour together. It's cool that we get to this joint headliner, switch headliners every night. Yeah, they're just great. I mean, I don't think we've ever toured with a band that we didn't really like, some more than others, obviously, but they are cool as fuck.

I suppose it's an interesting parallel, between both bands having three members, you get to see how another band performs as a three piece as well every night. Tell us about the origin of the band name, and how you guys have created a genre known as 'Caveman Battle Doom.'

Well, Conan could have been called anything, really, from '70s and '80s science fiction movies. You know, Krull was one idea that I had for a band name, very briefly I thought about that. We were called Elf-Beater for a time in our practice room -- that's obviously an awful name so we were never going to use that one long term. Conan just came to me one day, you know, I was going through some personal stuff and I'd had to move into my parent's for a little while, and I started this band up with an old friend of mine who was a bass player, but he played drums a little bit. So we started and we actually wrote and recorded "Satsuma." We had these songs, and we didn't really have a settled name. We were going to call ourselves Pazuzu for a little while or Demon-Demaro, as like a Bebo page in that name. There's some really old demos if you can search for that.

Initially, I wanted it to be a little bit occult-ish type of stuff, and then quickly I realised the lyrics weren't really going in that direction, and we were more about Sword & Sorcery, Science Fiction, and Mythology. Then I remember sitting there one day just kind of thinking, "What do I for a band name?" and then it just came to me. And it stuck, there wasn't really any other bands, well there was an Argentina metal band called Conan, but I think they had expired in the '80s, so there was nothing, no current bands within our scene, with that name, or anything close to it, so we grabbed it with both hands.

How did the name 'Caveman Battle Doom' come about?

The very first show that Conan did in Liverpool was with friends of ours, John McNulty and Gemma McNulty. They weren't married then but they are now, and they're really close of mine, and the band, they recorded at our studio. But they put us on our first ever show, when it was just me and Paul O'Neil, a two piece, and on the poster for that show, I think it said "primitive battle doom," "caveman battle doom," or "caveman doom." The label we were on, fast forward a couple of months, we recorded Horseback Battle Hammer and we released stuff on CD with Aurora-Borealis Records. They used that phrase as part of their sales pitch, on the website, taking it from that first ever poster, and then we thought we’d put that on a t-shirt because it looks cool and it sounds cool and those t-shirts just sold like hot cakes. So we thought, that's a cool name to make a joke about. Obviously, we haven't created our own genre; it would be awesome if we did cause we'd obviously make loads of money then, but it's just a bit of fun.

I know yourself are involved in Black Bow Records and Chris is involved in Skyhammer. How did both of those projects come around? Was it through the band that this became something you were interested in, or what was the path towards a label and a studio?

When I moved into a large house in a rural location, not far from Liverpool/Chester, there was a couple of extra buildings. One of them was a large coach-house and I actually wanted to turn that into a rehearsal studio initially. But it needed a lot of building work, which would have cost a lot of money, so I thought, "I wonder if I could somehow turn this into something that would repay some of that investment? So I'll do a practice room and then I may be able to rent the practice room out to bands." And I thought, "Nah, I don't think that will make generate enough money to make it worthwhile, unless we have people in there all the time." And if we did that, it could just be people in there 2-3 hours at a time and it would be a bit of a nightmare to manage, with it being a home. I then thought of, "Well I could turn it into a recording studio." So I got a couple of quotations for layout and stuff like that. It became obvious that it was going to be really expensive to do. So I thought, "I'll do that and see if I can maybe learn the ropes, I might work in there myself as a recording engineer."

For an extremely short-lived time I recorded bands in their practice rooms. I had one band ask for a refund, so then I thought, "Maybe I need to practice a little bit more." So I was going to set up the studio and decided not to, in the end, when Chris got in touch. Me and Chris had been friends and I'd been asking him what microphones to get and what stuff do I need really to set up a studio. We got chatting then one day out of the blue, and he wrote to me saying he had a really crazy idea and could he ring me. So I said okay. He gave me a call and Chris' idea was that he would come and work in the studio and take over and run it, and I waited a little bit and spoke to my wife. Then in the morning, we chatted again and it became obvious that yeah, it was going to be a great idea. Chris and I started working in the studio from August 2013, the build started in May the same year. We had a company called Studio People do it and they were brilliant.

The first band in there were called Bast and they came into the studio. They didn't have a label, I think they had been in talks with Candlelight Records, but nothing had been agreed at that point. So they recorded this album called Spectres and I said, "Why don't I just release it for you?" It was cool to release the first thing we ever recorded at the studio and that album did quite well. I had to repress it and then another band came in and I released theirs, as well. Then I spoke to Fister and Norska from America, I did a 7-inch split. Before you know it, I'm releasing music from bands all over and it's just snowballed. I didn't expect it to and I didn't really try very hard, to be honest.

I'm still learning all the time about running the label, make mistakes all the time, but I love it and it fits in nicely with the band, fits in nicely with the studio. I'm able to really diversify within music now, because obviously everyone has to earn a living somehow and unless you're very lucky, you can't earn a living from just the band. Some people can, but I can't, so I have to add other things on to make it possible to have a career in music. So that's all I do now, thankfully.

You guys feature heavily in the upcoming documentary 'The Doom Doc' which is due out this summer. How important is a documentary like that in promoting the underground?

I think it's cool, because it engages with people who may not have necessarily have checked out the bands that are being talked about on it. It gives a good overview of what the scene is like and it's something that you can take all round the world. We're friends with Joe Allen, one of the lads who made the documentary, and we played in Japan with him recently and his band Kurokuma. We played a sell-out show in Tokyo in a venue called Earthdom, which hadn't sold out for ten years or so. And part of the reason why it sold out so well was because the documentary was really popular over there. It's really cool, because it's shone a light on the very grassroots level of heavy music in the UK and beyond, and I don't think a documentary has done that really for UK heavy music, the very grassroots level, or I've never seen one that does it. Obviously, in America you have Such Hawks, Such Hounds. It's good that something like that has been made in England.

Finally, you've got the next album 'Existential Void Guardian' coming out in August. What can you tell us about that?

Well, it's all recorded and mastered now. We're just waiting on a video getting done for one of the songs and I'm not going to give any of the songs away, but it's cool, it's heavy as fuck, and we're really proud of it. It's the first album that we've done with Jonny on drums and it was quite a challenging album to make, because if we'd had anyone else on drums I don't think we'd have been able to manage it. But fortunately, Jonny being as professional as he is, he came in after touring with us for one month, just practicing a riff or two here or there in sound checks, and we sat down in the studio and we kind of wrote the drum parts of the album within a week -- or a weekend event, maybe 3-4 days -- so it came together. It wasn't easy, but the fact that it came together at all was a miracle, because we didn't allow ourselves the usual amount of time to write an album. So we pushed ourselves to the limit to get it written and get it to a level that were really happy with, because we wouldn't have released it otherwise. We wrote the drums and the guide guitar in the first few sessions, and then we went back and recorded guitar and bass, and when we got back from Japan we recorded vocals.

It came together in a different way to all the other albums. Maybe Revengeance was a bit like that, but everything up until then was the product of weekly practices, an hour or two every week. So we're kind of getting into this vein now, where we're writing music almost like as soon as we sit down. We get together and we can all play and write music together. It's really cool. I think a lot of that is to do with Jonny, because he's got a particular style that really blend in with what me and Chris are doing. It comes out mid-Sept. Tony Roberts is doing the artwork, as many people would expect, the artwork's cool. And we've got a really good video coming out, it's been done by the same people who shot the "Foehammer" video, and I gave them this idea of what I'd like them to do with this next video, and it's insane. It's everything I would ever want from a Conan video -- it's so sick, it's amazing.

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[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #470

“how can you choose to let the blind see better than you?”

What was the main character called in the last film you watched? Dewey. What would you name your pet snake if you had one? It would depend on its appearance. The snake I have now is named Venus because of her coloration. Do you like peanuts? Only if they're covered in chocolate or in granola bars in small portions. Have you ever gambled? What was your biggest loss/win? No. What was the last movie you watched? Who did you watch it with? Girt and I watched School of Rock together. What do you eat for breakfast? Excluding the rare occasions my mom cooks something, usually cereal or a sandwich. Do you have a Flickr? I do, but it's abandoned. Anything exciting happening in the month of September? No. When was the last time you had an ice cream sandwich? Oh man, it's been too long. I really want one now. Do you eat breakfast daily? Yeah. What was the last thing to scare you? "Scare" is a strong word, but I was very, very nervous to hear what weight I'd gained since my last doctor's appointment. Do you like mustard? Yeah, I do. Do you have a desktop computer or laptop? A laptop. Do you like to play Jenga? I guess? I don't really have an opinion on it. Do you like Fresca? Not very, but I'll drink it if I really want a soda and it's the only option. How many towels do you use after a shower? Just one. Would you ever flash a cop if you knew you'd get out of a ticket? Um, no thank you. What is your favorite thrill ride ever? I don't like those. I'm afraid of puking or fainting. Biggest irrational fear? Truly irrational, probably whale sharks. Favorite movie sequel? Hm. If you had endless funds, where would you buy most of your clothes? Cloak and Rebel's Market. How many jobs have you had? Three, technically. What is your favorite thing to do in your city? Oh hun, fun doesn't exist here. This place sucks. Have you ever gone strawberry picking? Ha ha, yes... but I was a little kid that absolutely gorged on the strawberries instead of putting them in my basket. The person that worked there didn't make my mom pay for what I did or anything, but they made a joke about weighing me to check the damage I did, ha ha. My face was COVERED in strawberry juice. I wish I could actually remember the occasion, but I was too young. How many times have you seen a doctor this month? It feels like a lot. >_< I had to get blood drawn for two different things on separate appointments, I had a follow-up appointment with my primary physician about my weight, I recently spoke to my therapist and psychiatrist... Could you pull off orange hair? I've actually considered like, a light creamsicle orange. I actually edited a photo of me with my current hair style trying different colors, and that tint looked pretty cute. Do you shave your legs? It sounds dumb, but yes, now that I'm in a relationship. I feel obligated to at least try and be attractive by societal standards. I know it seriously doesn't matter, but I would be so inexplicably mortified if he saw my unshaven legs kalsdj;flkasdjwe What type of weather is your favorite? Snowy! Coolest place you've ever been? Disney World, probs. Do you like corn on the cob? Yeah, man. Have you ever waited tables? No. Build your favorite pizza. Soft pan crust, your average amount of sauce and a good amount of cheese with various meats on it. What did you last get fancy for? I wouldn't say I got like, super fancy, but I wore a nice shirt and a necklace when Girt came over for the first time as a couple. I thought we were actually leaving the house to go out to dinner, but the plan was actually to have Buffalo Wild Wings delivered. It was totally fine by me, I'd just misunderstood. Dream pet? A female Brazilian Black tarantula named Black Betty. :') Do you tend to get clingy in relationships? I know I do. What is the last horror movie you watched? It's sad that I don't know. :( Would you be grossed out if your best friend mooned you? No, I'd just be extremely confused lmao. What is the last thing that you drank? Milk. Currently popular song that you can't stand? I have zero idea what songs are popular right now. What is the weather like right now? Too fuckin' hot to be mid-September. Do you have favorite type/brand of pen? I mean, I like the feel of gel pens. I don't know about brands. What is your go-to snack at the convenience store? Some form of Reese's. Popular drink that you dislike? Coffee shocks the most people. What TV show are you waiting on to return/create a new season? None. What is something you currently want but cannot afford? Oh, dear. -_- Do you have sensitive skin? Very. How many toilets are in your house? Two. Do you have an older sister? Three that I know, one that I don't really count because I know nothing about her and have never spoken to her. What color is your mum’s car? White. Do you live in an apartment? No. Cats are usually cuter than dogs right? Kittens are generally cuter than puppies, imo. Where do you keep your kitty litter box? It has to stay in my bedroom, which I hate. Mom insists on in being in here so I don't forget to clean it. My memory is awful, but I'm preeeetty sure I'd remember to give my cat a clean place to use the bathroom if it was kept in the spare room by the door... Are you rude to little children? No; even if I don't really like kids, that is something I definitely avoid. Kids should never lose their hope in or love for humanity, and I would absolutely hate to be one of those people that makes the human race appear unpleasant. Are you a lighter complexion than your father? BY FAR. He's a mailman so is out in the sun nearly every day, so he's pretty damn dark to be Caucasian. I wouldn't be surprised if by his complexion he's ever been mistaken for being Hispanic, because the color definitely fits. Do you like apricots? No. Are banana chips delicious? Ew, that sounds gross. Do you like kinky sex? I wouldn't know, my dude. I've never really explored outside of pretty vanilla stuff. What is one thing you will never do again? Rely solely on another person for happiness. Would you rather be twice as smart or twice as happy? Twice as happy. That's not even a competition. What would your parents be surprised to learn about you? I very legitimately wonder if I would be disowned for how fucked up some of the shit I write is, ha ha. Mom would probably cry if she saw some of even the milder stuff and force the topic to come up in therapy. If you could have been a child prodigy what would you have wanted to be skilled at? Maybe painting? If earth could only have one condiment for the rest of time, what would you pick to keep around? Hmmm... I suppose ketchup. Do you think it’s important to stay up to date with the news? I think it is, but I don't. .-. What is the best present you could ever receive? An all-expenses-paid trip to South Africa to visit and tour with the Kalahari Meerkat Project to meet and photograph the meerkats. :''''''''''') Would you give up one of your fingers if it meant you’d have free WiFi wherever you go, for the rest of your life? Nah. That's what data is for, lol. If someone told you you could give one person a present and your budget was unlimited–what present would you get and for whom? A new car for Mom. Giant house in a subdivision or tiny house somewhere with a view? Oh, that is SO easy. Give me the view. Well wait, HOW tiny is the house? My answer would change if it was one of those truly mini houses that would make me feel claustrophobic as shit. What was your favorite Disney movie as a kid? The Lion King. Still is. Do you brush your teeth in the bathroom, or do you get bored & roam around? I roam around. Does your city/town have a little festival/carnival every year? Yes. I never really pay attention tho 'cuz I never go. Have you ever been to an apple orchard? No, but I would love to go. Were there any cartoons your parents didn’t let you watch as a kid? Except "adult" cartoons obviously, no. Could you handle motherhood? No fucking way. Being entirely serious, I think I'd either end up dead or horribly depressed, and the kid psychologically damaged to some extent from having an unstable mother. Like do not get me wrong, I'd try very hard, but I know I couldn't stay sane and happy as a mom. Have you ever touched a squirrel? No. What's better, candles or incense? Incense. What movie did you see the most in theaters? I don't watch movies in theaters twice. It's expensive to go even once. Who played the best Batman? Idk. I didn't watch all the movies. Who’s the best American Idol thus far? *shrug* What’s likely to happen next in your family - wedding, funeral, or birth? Uh, I suppose a wedding? None seem likely any time soon. Do you like hot, cold, or lukewarm showers? Hot. Have you ever taken part in a threesome? No, not my jam. Do you plan on having both your parents at your wedding? Yep. Which movie’s musical score is truly memorable? Tarzan came to mind very quickly. What’s your favorite scene from the movie Titanic? Idk, I've only seen it once. Which TV show theme music do you remember most? That '70s Show. Have you ever bounced any checks? ... I don't even know what that means. :x Have you ever been snipe hunting? I will never in my life hunt in any way, shape, or form. Do you try to be politically correct? For the most part, but I do believe it's gone too far. Generally though, I try to conform to the "rules" to avoid offending someone. What’s your favorite kind of sea critter? Bottlenose dolphins, various types of whales, sea turtles... I don't think I could pick one. Have you ever tasted locally-made honey before? Does it count if it's from a honeysuckle flower? Do you like to wear toe socks? No, they're mad uncomfortable imo. Have you ever worn bright red lipstick? Yes. Do you think raccoons are adorable, like I do? BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!