#and some perspectives are fucked up. that's just a fact. in fact it's often more fun to read fiction from someone who's “morally wrong”

[existencebringsonlypain]

I may have posted about this before, but I don't understand the whole proshipper/anti debate. As far as I understand, I'm on the side of proshippers (i think fiction is fiction and doesn't have to reflect reality. because it's fiction.), but what I don't get is why there's such a clear defined binary, and why there's such animosity between the two. It's just a difference in opinion, like any other, isn't it? I understand that either group can "take it too far" (though i dont really get how proshippers could be TOO okay with problematic ships). but i really think either viewpoint is fine to a degree, they both have logic behind them, and it's just a matter of preference, isn't it?

[susiephone]

wtf is dracula daily?

i’ve seen a couple people ask this question on my posts about it, so i thought i’d go ahead and clear it up here!

ok so, the classic horror novel “dracula” is an epistolary novel - that means it’s told via letters, diary entries, ship logs, and news articles. (technically the term “epistolary novel” refers to works told solely through letters or emails, but many have expanded it to mean any work that is told via in-universe documents, hence why diaries and logs often get included as well. “frankenstein” is another classic example; the whole framing device is robert walton is recounting the story he heard from victor to his sister via letter. a modern example would be “several people are typing,” which is told via slack messages, or “the perks of being a wallflower,” which is told via letters from charlie to his anonymous pen pal, which is functionally more like you’re reading his diary.)

because of the nature of the narrative, we actually know the exact day nearly everything in dracula happens - the letters, news articles, diary entries, etc. are all dated.

“dracula daily” is a substack project where the novel is broken up into parts, with people who are subscribed to the project getting emails every day something in dracula happens - for example, the novel opens with jonathan harker’s journal entry on may 3, so on may 3, subscribers are emailed that entry. the action of dracula takes place from may 3 - november 6, plus an epilogue set some years later. the project started in 2021 (i think), but fucking BLEW UP in 2022, and they’re doing it again this year! lots of us are very excited - especially people like me who fell behind last time.

why not just read the book?

valid! due to some parts of dracula being told out of chronological order, dracula daily does reorder some things. for example, the first section of dracula is told entirely from jonathan harker’s pov, then the second section switches the pov to mina murray. their sections have some overlap in the timeline, so dracula daily jumps back and forth between their perspectives.

if you want to read the book as bram stoker intended, dracula daily may not be for you. but for a lot of people (myself included!), it breaks up a very long text into easily digestible chunks (....mostly. there is one entry that is 10k words), and the fact that it’s a big project means there are a lot of people reading along with you.

i think there’s also something valuable about experience the slow revelation of wtf is going on along with the characters. the book which you might otherwise get through in a few days is stretched out into months of suspense and agony as you wait for the other shoe to drop, and it’s great.

plus, the whiplash between “jonathan harker’s neverending horror” vs “lucy is basically on the bachelorette” that you get in dracula daily is very very funny.

how do i sign up?

right here! and if you sign up and fall behind in the emails, no worries - the dracula daily website posts past entries so you can catch up.

what if i prefer audiobooks?

have i got great news for you!

like i mentioned before, i couldn’t keep up with the emails last year. part of it is that it is much easier for me to focus on an audiobook or keep up with a podcast than it is for me to sit down and read, especially with longer entries.

this year, there is going to be a podcast titled “re: dracula” that was inspired by dracula daily. every episode will be a dracula daily entry, with a full voice cast! (seriously, if you listen to british podcasts, you will recognize some of these names. the magnus archives and wooden overcoats girlies are WINNING.) you can find that here.

there is also a podcast called “cryptic canticles” that has an already-completed audiodrama of dracula that i’m told is also extremely good, and was also broken up by date. you can find that here.

why do i keep hearing about paprika/the boyfriend squad/lizard fashion/cowboys?

you’ll see.

oh god am i gonna hear about this nerd shit for the rest of the year

yes. sorry.

[saintjosie]

Hey, sorry for setting a bit of a depressing tone with this ask but im a struggling baby trans girl

Do you have any advice for coping with the thoughts of "i will never manage to mold my body into a woman's body"?

Right now i am unable to start transitioning due to multiple reasons - both social (especially family) and hrt accessibility related - and my biggest issue with my body is that it's just.. annoyingly masculine. Ever since i was 14 my legs had more and longer hair than my 30-something old cousin's husband. Ever since i was 12 i started feeling too ashamed of my body to wear short pants and it was only this year that i started feeling a bit more ok about it (I will not disclose my age publicly, but i am in university).

And it's like. It's so exhausting to look in the mirror and not only not recognise the face as my own, but often actively hate it. To look at my body and to barely tolerate it anymore

There are some things that i've tried. I've trimmed my leg hair (to a fourth of its original size), and the instant my parents noticed they mocked me. I'm trying to let my hair grow but not only am i getting bombarded with questions of "when are you gonna get a haircut/let me give you a haircut" from all members of my family, it's also in that incredibly awkwards state which i know i will have to push through, but it still makes it even harder for me to look into the mirror

Once again, sorry for the tone of this ask, but do you have any words of hope or advice?

im sorry youre going through all of that. its incredibly difficult and i feel for you. i think that one thing that i frequently see from people in the earliest stages in transition is the struggle of feeling like they will never see themselves in the mirror. and i get it. i was 29 by the time i started hormones and a big part of why i was scared to do it was because i also thought that i was never going to look the way i wanted to. and whether or not we like it, there is safety in being able to say, oh if i dont look the way i want to, then its better for me not to try at all. its a horrible feeling but its one that you've lived with for years and there is safety in the familiarity.

but that's the thing - no one ever looks 100% the way they want to. i dont know a single person who hasnt had the struggle of looking in the mirror and wishing they could change something. and yes, we as trans people face that much more than most other people but it is a human experience to want to change and better ourselves.

after four years of being on hormones, i still look in the mirror and see things i want to change but also that feeling is much much less now. and its not just the hormones either. i like the way i dress because i wear what i want to. i like my hair because i decided i wanted to grow it out and change the color. i stopped molding my appearance to fit other people's expectations. and in doing so, i found that liking something about myself mattered far more than if other peopled like it. so shave your legs! grow out your hair! when people ask you questions, dont answer or tell them to fuck off! you dont need to make excuses for yourself because you dont need an excuse to be who you want to be.

im gonna be completely honest with you - it will not be easy. and youre not going to wake up tomorrow and suddenly find that your entire perspective has changed. in fact it is very likely, and very human, to continue to question the decisions you make. but always remember, you know who you are. and if you dont know, then only you are capable of finding out. and so i say with all the love in the world, i hope you find yourself and learn to love yourself in the process <3

[werecreature-addicted]

to the anon asking about the large amount of sex-trafficking/rape prompts/stories/blurbs, im going to try and give you a real answer

one major factor, is shame

it's a largely subconscious thing, the fact people's sexual fantasies lean toward this aggressive often dehumanizing scenarios.

but its something that has been observed in people raised with very strict social expectations regarding sexuality often having rape fantasies, because it is a way to indulge in their sexual feelings without having to admit to them, in a way.

i, personally, am fat and queer. and while never stated outright to my face, the fact that small children have on several occasions began crying while looking at me in the supermarket line, I would also have to assume im not that much of a looker either

any show of desires for intimacy, physical or emotional, has been laughed at. people asked me out as a joke when i was in school, my father's side of the family openly lamented my appearance since I was a child because my only real value to them was continuing the family line, and that's not going to happen if I'm unattractive and fat

the fact is I have been told my entire life that me being wanted was impossible, if anybody desired me they would keep it a secret out of fear of ridicule, and anybody who would be open about it must have a specific fetish or be using me

I want to be wanted, hell there are times I'm desperate to get catcalled, because that proves somebody finds me attractive enough to express that. (even if the reality of it is objectifying and rude) the basis of these sorts of fantasies are often rooted in being seen as so desirable, so wanted, that any and all restraint goes out of the window. (you know that romance trope line that's like, "are you sure? because once we start i don't know if i can stop." same idea) the tendency towards trafficking and sexual slavery are also rooted in this, but with the added bit of "see, somebody wants me so bad they will spend money on me, to own me. they will fuck me in a crowded room without shame because their desire for me isn't something they're ashamed about, i am a prize, and the fact they get to fuck me is something they will gloat about."

one of the major appeal of monsters is that they wouldn't be bogged down by our social expectations, or they would have ones of their own. there is no fear regarding being wanted despite my looks, because the things about myself I have been told make me unattractive, are things that they openly and voraciously desire. Also, for the fat folks in the chat, wanting to be picked up and tossed around by your partner is largely something we can't have, (BMI is bullshit but mine is nearly double what it "should" be) you don't have to worry about that if your partner is an 8+ foot tall creature that can suplex a sedan

so while in reality, me being stocky and fat is seen as something that makes me unattractive, a werewolf would look at me and go "ah, yes, broad as a brick wall and twice as thicc, he can take it in a tumble."

can you see where the overlap occurs?

obviously there are some generalizations and assumptions based on my own biases here, and everybody's got their peculiarities, but these are themes I have seen throughout my many years too many online

I also just think monster fucker spaces are a little more open to taboo kinks. like wanting to fuck a werewolf who could kill you at any second is already weirder than most people want to go. thank you for sharing your perspective anon.

[cringefail-clown]

Jakehal is very fun. But why dirkkri? I dont understand what's appealing about it :? confused

theres a lot of things i like about dirkri and honestly i dont even know where to start lmfao

first of all, and its mostly a funny reason - davekat on crack. like some traces of davekat are still there - the arguing about shit, stoic facade vs emotional mess, all the good stuff, but its also so much more exaggerated it makes it this much more ridiculous. gets even better when you consider them under the lense of swap aus like alphaswitch or tbau, where they land on the meteor together. theyre most likely hunting each other for sports by the year two

second of all, the funney. theyd be so fucking funny together. their smallest arguments would take like twenty pages of non-stop flow of red-orange text to resolve, and not because they came to a consensus but because some third party physically dragged them away from their electronics. it doesnt do any good, since it only gives them both time to think over new arguments to use, and theyre back at it as soon as they get their phones back. like if we had a tournament about which ship would do the most collateral damage to the overall group, i think these two would be Up There. karkat would gauge his eyes out from frustration, because now not only does he have to deal with his piece of shit, know-it-all other self, but now theres also Fucking Dirk thrown into the mix. their home life is absolute insanity, a small jab about the other forgetting to buy sugar once again devolves into a screaming match about the merits and flaws of communism or some other inane shit. and theyre doing it for fun, they enjoy debating with each other, because often times they have vastly different opinions, and comparing their beliefs challenges them intelectually and morally. from the outside perspective theyre one of the most dysfunctional pair in the paradox space, when in fact thats simply how they want their relationship to be, and it makes them better people overall.

third reason is that theyre thematically delicious. dirk is a control freak, micromanaging his and his friends constantly. hes terrified of losing control, but hes also desperate for someone to just tell him what the fuck he should do. dirk doesnt think he should be in control of others, because he believes hes a naturally evil person capable of horrible acts, at the same time he doesnt trust anyone else to get things done but himself. hes a whole collection of contradictions.

kankri desperately needs to be in control as well. hes constantly injecting himself into conversations he has no business being in, trying to find someone thatd listen to what he has to say. hes wants to guide others, but his efforts are flawed, because he doesnt listen to other perspectives - hes got tunnel vision, as he thinks hes the one in the right while everyone else is wrong or ignorant (cringefail seer literally). he doesnt trust anyone else to make decisions for him, and becomes defensive when he thinks others are attempting to coddle him. his ass was definitely culled on beforus.

theyre also both so fucking lonely. dirk conciously tries to put difference between himself and his friends, worrying hell "corrupt" them. kankri tries to connect to his friends, but his behavior alienates him from them to the point of no one except maybe porrim want to have anything to do with him.

my point is, kankri wants to guide people but has to learn to listen to others and reflect on his own flawed opinions. dirk has to learn to trust that people closest to him can get shit done on their own and loosen up, as well as realise hes not evil at the core. them helping each other out - dirk teaching kankri about different perspectives, kankri teaching dirk about letting others do their thing - is something i think about a lot.

also i like to think theyd spar for fun a lot as well. its not really a reason and wholly my own personal headcanon but i wanna mention it as well bc its so funny to me. i like the idea of kankris behaviour being a complete reverse of karkat - where karkat is all bark no bite and doesnt like fighting or violence, kankri puts up a front of the beacon of love and peace and tolerance, but in his free time he gets his rifle and goes shooting at the fucking squirrels or some shit. i think he wouldnt have the same qualms about strifing as karkat. like dirk would try to jokingly jab his finger at kankris side and he would just fucking flip him over his shoulder and onto the table breaking it in half, because he doesnt like being touched unexpectedly and by gods dirk when will you fucking learn. he goes from 0 to 100 real fast. its such a hysterical concept for me.

[lgbtlunaverse]

One underdiscussed aspect of the bone-deep lack of mutual understanding during the nieyao stairs scene is that Nie Mingjue doesn't know - and can't know - what he's actually asking of Jin Guangyao. Not because he doesn't understand how his father treats him, or how tenuous his position is. But because he has no clue Xue Yang is a demonic cultivator.

Remember: Nie Mingjue is still alive, which means the position of chief cultivator doesn't exist yet and Jin Guangshan is facing heavy pushback for suggesting it. Most of that is coming from a fear that the Jin will try to become the next Wen. So having an outer disciple murder an entire clan and then not even punish him properly? This is a collosally bad move politically! You might as well be waving a red flag around yelling "I want to kill other sects with impunity!" There's a reason that years in the future, the moment Jin Guangyao becomes acting sect leader, he will immediately order Xue Yang's death (He doesn't actually die, either by accident or on purpose on jgy's part. But the point is that as far as the public is concerned he had Xue Yang executed.)

From Nie Mingjue's perspective, Jin Guangshan just shot himself in the foot politically for some random outer disciple. It's morally wrong, but it's also incredibly fucking stupid. In his eyes, he is asking Jin Guangyao to do the glaringly obvious right thing, even when exclusively looking at the Jins' self-interest. The thing that surely everyone else in the Jin also wants Jin Guangshan to do! Jin Guangyao can say that he has no influence on his father all he wants, but it is obvious how much work he does and so, as much as his father may not respect him, he clearly at least trusts Jin Guangyao's competence. Nie Mingjue has already tried shouting directly at Jin Guangshan during the trial and it seemed to work, but then Jin Guangshan went back on his decision like a complete idiot. So now Nie Mingjue is asking the guy who is famous for being good at rhetoric and convincing people to convince his donkey of a father to do the obviously correct thing with minimal downsides because again, to Nie Mingjue, this is all about some random outer disciple. It makes sense to ask this! It's a pretty reasonable request! Jin Guangshan can't possibly care that much.

Except of course he does. Because Xue Yang isn't some random outer disciple. He's the only good shot Jin Guangshan has at recreating the yin tiger tally. And Jin Guangshan reaaaaaally wants the yin tiger tally. So bad that he is fully willing to tank an ungodly amount of political goodwill to get it. Jin Guangyao is fully aware that not only will Jin Guangshan never kill Xue Yang, he isn't planning on keeping him locked up either. In fact, after Nie Mingjue is dead, he'll free Xue Yang and strongarm Chang Ping into denying the guilt of his family's murderer. Jin Guangshan cares a lot about keeping Xue Yang in his employ.

And Jin Guangyao knows this. But he can't tell Nie Mingjue that! Because then he'd have to admit they've been doing demonic cultivation. That the fucking ghost geneal is in their basement. That, oopsie, they actually also killed a whole other entire clan just a while ago after framing their sect leader for an assasination attempt and then used their bodies as fodder to make more fierce corpses. You know, in case one mass murder wasn't enough!

So obviously he's not gonna say that. Which means Nie Mingjue has no idea what he's demanding from Jin Guangyao, and therefore no idea why he absolutely can't fullfill that request.

I get why it's not mentioned very often because there are a lot of other problems which are both more obvious and more fun to talk about. (Who doesn't love a little overcomplicated trolley problem?) But I think it adds just another layer to the chasm between them in this scene. They're not just disagreeing, they're having completely different conversations.

[sleepysnk]

a/n: i rlly like sanzu and uhh this idea just came to be after a long chat with some friends! 🤍 i hope you all enjoy! <3

pairings: sanzu haruchiyo x fem!reader

warnings: modern au, nsfw, established relationship, sanzu and reader have an onlyfans, smut, mentions of oral sex f!receiving, consensual recording, public sex (they’re in a dressing room), lingerie, degradation, use of pet names (baby, princess, babydoll), finger sucking, slight breeding kink, rough sex, dirty talk.

synopsis: you and sanzu began an onlyfans, and, after a video blew up, you became quite popular on the platform. the two of you are out and about one day at the mall, and sanzu just can’t help but think you look so pretty in your lingerie.

smile, you’re on camera ft. sanzu haruchiyo

It was all Sanzu’s idea to begin an OnlyFans.

The first time your boyfriend proposed the idea of making one, you almost completely spat out your drink. You had heard many stories from people online who made hundreds to thousands of dollars off of the platform. Whether it was something simple as nude photographs or videos of someone being fucked to oblivion, it was many people’s way of making money and paying their bills. You wouldn’t have ever expected Sanzu, your boyfriend of two years, to suggest such a thing to you. 

There were so many possibilities and questions you had for the man. You protested over the fact that someone could possibly recognize the two of you if the videos were leaked. It wouldn’t be that great if one of your friends or even your family found out what you two had been doing. Sanzu explained to you that it would all be anonymous. He would wear a face covering every time he uploaded content, and he would do his absolute best to make sure your identity was hidden as well. It was sort of overwhelming. Random people would be paying to see your body, and you knew the internet was a dangerous place and it could be quite harsh. People were often body shamed and it wasn’t something you wanted to see. Sanzu understood your concerns completely and he knew they were valid. He wouldn’t ever wish that kind of treatment on another human being. 

Though, after lots of convincing, Sanzu was able to make you comfortable enough to begin an account. 

It was slow and sloppy at the beginning. Some of your videos only had about thirty or so views, and you didn’t have many followers. The both of you considered just deleting your Twitter and removing the OnlyFans all together. You barely had any profit coming in, so you assumed that maybe that idea would be chalked up.

One day, all of that completely changed.

You awoke one more morning with your phone blowing up, as well as Sanzu’s. When you entered your Twitter account, your jaw fell to the floor when you saw that one of your videos had blown up. Apparently, there had been a popular Twitter porn account that had retweeted one of your videos. More specifically, it was a video where Sanzu’s mouth was latched onto your pussy. It was filmed from your perspective and the camera was able to capture Sanzu’s gorgeous emerald eyes, along with his lengthy eyelashes that made every woman jealous. The people who liked the video left many comments on it, and it in turn led to you both ranking many followers and the profits in your OnlyFans to rise. You couldn’t stop reading the replies and retweets, because they were just so encouraging.

rxdomuser822: me n who? 👀

stxllasexs: someone find this mannn!!! 😩

ppowerrs: if a man looked at me like that i’d cum on the spot

mxikasyu: find them both right now

Eventually, you two managed to make a living off of your content. People paid to see you get fucked by your boyfriend all of the time, or they’d want to see him play with your pussy until you were shaking from how great his fingers worked along your clit. It had all gone in such a successful direction that you and Sanzu were able to move out and pay off any debt you had remaining from university. The two of you were satisfied with everything that had happened so far. There had been a few flaws on separate occasions, but you both were so happy with where you were now.

Sanzu spoiled you rotten at times. He’d buy you any gift you wanted and he would take you out whenever he had the opportunity to. It was a luxury and you both enjoyed it more than anything else.

Today, he decided to take you lingerie shopping as a treat for reaching almost fifty thousand followers on Twitter. He adored seeing your pretty body in all kinds of thin fabric, and he knew that nothing would be better than treating you to some fine lingerie. You were his pretty little girlfriend, how could he resist such a woman like you? He honestly loved seeing the faces you’d make whenever you would pick up different bralettes or thongs that would fit just right around your hips. Sanzu lets you buy anything you desire at the shop. He could never say no to you. 

Though, Sanzu’s mind wandered somewhere else when you began trying on the different pieces he had picked out for you.

He couldn’t help but peek at you through the curtain that was pulled over the changing room. He got a nice view of your perky tits that were held up by the bralette you wore, and immediately his cock hardened inside of his sweatpants. He thought it would go away after a few minutes, but much to his dismay, Sanzu’s mind wouldn’t halt on reminding him how gorgeous your body was. Whether it was him fucking you so good that you saw stars, or eating your pussy until you made a mess on his face, the images refused to leave his head. He tried his best to keep up the facade at the lingerie shop, but his cock was aching inside of his boxers. It almost hurt that he wasn’t stuffing your cunt with his cock. He was growing anxious, but he didn’t want to ruin your shopping day.

You weren’t sure what came over him, but Sanzu had managed to slip into your changing room and he began fucking your brains out.

Your body was pressed against the mirror that faced the wall. Your cheek and your tits were against the glass, while Sanzu’s cock fucked into your pretty walls. You tried to protest to your boyfriend that it was quite risky to be doing such a lewd act in a public place, but that’s what enthralled him the most. The risk of potentially being heard or caught by the workers or the people who were shopping made him all the more turned on. He could only think of the fun this experience would bring for you both. He even had the idea to record the entire thing, with your knowledge of course.

Sanzu’s hand trailed down your backside. He watched the way his cock slid into your soaked pussy with such ease. His pace was quite fast, because he couldn’t help himself. He just needed to have you around him. “Fuck.. yeah, you take me so good, babydoll.” he gritted his teeth from the ecstasy that coursed throughout his body. “Bein’ such a good little slut for me.. fuuucckk,” 

He held his phone at a certain angle so the camera could pick up on how fucking amazing you looked. He had taken several videos already of the entire situation. He even went out of his way to record himself in the mirror fucking you from behind. Sanzu just couldn’t help but feel so turned on by what you were both doing. “Mmph.. Sanzu..!” your eyes rolled backwards when the tip of his cock reached your g-spot. You weren’t supposed to be moaning at all. Sanzu reminded you several times to remain silent, but you just couldn’t. He was too good.

He shoved his phone into his pocket once he finished taping you. Sanzu then reached around to your plump lips where he forced two of his fingers into your mouth, allowing you to suck on the digits. He knew he was fucking you good, but that didn’t necessarily mean he wanted other people to possibly hear you. “Keep that mouth shut, princess..” he smirked. “Don’t need us getting caught.. yeah?”

Oh how you wished you could keep quiet. His pace was erratic and rough. He was winding you up just perfectly enough so that your orgasm would hit you quite hard. Once again, there was that great risk of you two possibly being exposed by one of the workers. You were already used to somewhat of an audience. Hell, you and Sanzu recorded yourselves all the time and posted your videos for the world to see, so this was almost nothing to you. 

Sanzu was about to let out a groan, but paused immediately when he heard those familiar jingles of keys walking towards the changing room. His thrusts came to an abrupt slow when the noise filled his ears. He feared too much would bring attention to your room, but those thoughts stopped when he felt your cunt clenching and twitching around his cock. You were such a dirty slut. You liked this. You enjoyed the fact that both of you could be caught at any second. He didn’t think you would ever be that inappropriate, but fuck, it turned him on so much more than he already was. He placed his palm against your hip, beginning to thrust inside of you once again. This was surprising to you. 

You turned your head to meet Sanzu’s seductive expression. His bubblegum pink hair hung over his hazy eyes that were blown with lust. He removed his fingers from your lips, causing your mouth to fall slack. “Aw.. so you do want to get caught, huh? You like when I fuck this pretty cunt, baby? I’ll let them hear you being a slut for me..” he then picked up the pace of his ruts, earning a loud moan to fall from your lips. You were about to cover your mouth, but your boyfriend was much quicker than you and he pinned your wrist behind you. 

Your whines slipped from your lips at an endless pace. The knot inside your belly was tightening and making itself known. You were growing desperate for that euphoric high you craved more than anything else. Sanzu’s grip on the plush of your hips was tight enough to leave bruises on your delicate skin. “Ah..! Sanzu.. ‘m close!!” your nails dug into the glass of the mirror, leaving fingerprints on it. 

The sound of skin slapping filled the dressing room. Sanzu was so determined to make you a mess all over his cock. He wanted those people outside to hear how amazing he was making you feel. He didn’t give a single fuck. 

You let out one last whine, then your orgasm had washed over you. Your thighs trembled and shook. Sanzu grinned when he saw the white ring that circled around his cock. Your pussy squelched and squeaked from his thrusts. There was his pretty girl he knew so well. He was so proud of you for being a good little slut for him and his cock. He was close to his own high. His dick twitched and he could feel that pit in his belly growing larger with every rut of his hips.

He grunted several times, throwing his head back at the pure bliss of your tight cunt. You were a drooling mess and you were in paradise at how great you felt. Tingles spread throughout your body with every touch of your g-spot. “Fuck.. ‘gonna cum, baby, fuck..” he let his jaw fall open as he pumped himself into you. “Fill up this cunt.. yeah.. that’s it!”

With one thrust, he finally reached his climax. Sanzu’s cum filled into your hole, reaching your womb. He held your hips in place so none of it would slip out onto the floor. Sweat clung to his forehead and his chest heaved, trying to catch his breath from the exhilarating orgasm he just went through. He was beyond excited to upload the video he had recorded for his fans. It was quite unexpected, but he was so happy he decided to fuck you in that dressing room. He was certain somebody heard you both, but he couldn’t care less about that. 

Sanzu then pulled out, turning you around so your back was now flat against the mirror behind you. He pulled you in for a sloppy kiss, wrapping his hand around the base of your throat. “Better not let a single drop out, okay..? Don’t make me fuck it back into you, babydoll.” he whispered into your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

You nodded your head, looking your boyfriend in the eye when you did so. “Okay..” you looked down at the floor where your clothes had been previously discarded, along with the lingerie you were just wearing several minutes ago.

Sanzu picked up the fabric from the floor. He smiled devilishly at you, exposing those pretty scars of his that were near his lips. He then placed another small peck on your lips. “Let me go pay for this, you deserve it.” he winked.

[fuckyeahisawthat]

FWIW my take is that (movie) Jessica conceiving Paul as a boy was 0% about wanting to birth the Kwisatz Haderach. It was like 87% about the fact that she loved Leto and Leto wanted a son. And the rest was about protecting her child from becoming the future Mrs. Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen. (Either specifically, if she knew about the planned betrothal, or generally, if she didn't.) Both of these are a rebellion against the Bene Gesserit, in favor of her partner and her child.

I don't know if she would have done it if Leto hadn't wanted a son. His wanting it protected her own designs. She could say she did it for love and it wouldn't be a lie.

It is undoubtedly better to be born a boy in the space feudalism world of the Great Houses. Her son would be the heir to the considerable power of House Atreides. Her daughter would only ever be the wife of an heir. At best, wielding power from the shadows, by controlling her husband; at worst, nothing more than a bargaining chip in the power plays between the Great Houses and the Bene Gesserit. Even the daughter of the Emperor has to rely on marriage to secure her access to power in the Imperium.

Jessica could have had the son Leto wanted and then gone on to have one or more daughters as she'd been instructed. Instead she conceives no children at all for, in the movie-verse, probably close to 20 years, not getting pregnant with an Atreides child again until almost the last moment it's possible. (And that, too, is about love I think, about having one last connection to her partner to hold onto, even as they feel the trap closing around them. Would she have allowed herself to conceive Alia in other circumstances? I don't think so.) So at some point, there must have been a conscious choice to not only not bear only daughters, but bear no daughters at all.

(How often does she think about how fucking lucky she got? She could have ended up with someone a lot worse than Leto Atreides. Plenty of her fellow sisters have, and they just have to fucking deal with it. But maybe her child doesn't.)

Maybe it's only when Paul starts growing up that it becomes clear there is something uncanny about him, and that's when she starts thinking Hmmm. Maybe she starts training him in Bene Gesserit skills that she's been taught boys can't master, except he is mastering them, and he's been having these dreams...

Of course from his perspective, it looks like she planned this from the beginning, that she wanted a chess piece in a thousands-year-long plan instead of a son. But in her mind, that's exactly what she was trying to protect him from. And in saving him from one doom she steered him straight into another.

[irkimatsu]

Husk needs all the love. So maybe fem!reader and Husk have been dating for awhile and even though he loves the affection and attention she gives him, he's still a little hesitant because of past experiences with relationships. But then she tells him "I love you" for the first time ❤️

Good/bad news, depending on your perspective - I went for an angsty hurt/comfort route on this one. I love Husk so much, I just want to take care of him...

Reader is questioning their relationship with Husk, Husk comes home injured one night, care is given and feelings are exchanged. Husk is a mess but he wants to be better, even if he thinks it's hopeless. Sex is mentioned, but over all SFW. About 2k words.

You and Husk have been together for about six months… you think. It depends on how you define “together”.

In some ways, he dotes on you. He loves giving you gifts, whether those gifts are physical items that immediately made him think of you, or songs he writes and performs just for you. He often takes you out for dinner, shows, and dancing, and has a great memory for the types of meals and shows you enjoy. Even the physical intimacy is incredible. He may not be one for public displays of physical affection, but behind closed doors he’s such an adoring partner. He told you from the start that for him, sex should be an experience shared by all parties involved, not just something that one side gives while the other takes, and oh, the way he shows it! Whether cuddling, making out, or having sex, Husk never leaves you wanting, and always makes sure you’re comfortable before it’s time for you to go to sleep or part ways. When you think about how attentive he is, you feel like you couldn’t ask for a more perfect partner.

But when it comes to emotional matters, it’s like dating a brick wall.

You spend so much time with him, and yet you barely know a damn thing about him. Sure, he’s shared some pieces of his past, like his dreams of being an internationally renowned performer that he crushed beneath the weight of his own vices and weaknesses. But in the present day, if he has any emotions besides “drunk”, you’re not aware of them. Sure, he seems happy when he gets to spend time with you, but he actively refuses to say so out loud.

“I like spending time with ya, but that’s all this is. We both know I’m gonna fuck this up eventually. Let’s just enjoy this while it lasts.”

He didn’t even seem upset when he told you that he knew his time with you would be limited before he hurt you. To him, it was simply an inevitable fact of nature.

You’ve tried so hard to break down his walls and offer him some much needed affection. He does genuinely seem to love it when you cuddle him and compliment him. He brightens at how well you remember what little he’s told you about himself, from his favorite songs and movies to the exact way he loves having his back massaged. And even though he refuses to admit to any of it, you can tell when he ends a night even more agitated than usual. He may tell you not to bother when you offer to keep him company after he closes the bar down, but he’ll accept it after some pressing, and you know he appreciates the attention from the way he starts clinging to you and purring.

But if you actually try to ask him exactly what has him agitated, he’ll refuse to answer. Maybe he’ll bitch about Alastor, but he’s never been clear about what his relationship with the Radio Demon is, and he won’t offer any other clues about anything that bothers him.

You once tried to tell him you loved him. He snapped at you not to say that shit before the phrase had fully left your mouth.

“What did I tell you about not getting too close to me?!”

It’s not like you don’t see where he’s coming from when he calls himself a fuckup. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him sober, and you’ve tucked his barely-coherent self into bed on numerous occasions. He’s had to cancel dates last-minute because he gambled away your concert tickets, and he often disappears in the middle of the night and refuses to say where he’s been. Sometimes you have a guess when the next morning involves a date cancellation, but other times all you can tell is that his nightly adventure has set him so on edge that he won’t leave his room or accept your company.

Why won’t he tell you anything? Why won’t he let you care about him? For all his talk about how people need to be honest and open about their feelings, he sure as hell isn’t saying shit about his own.

It’s the middle of the night, and you can’t sleep. You’d initially hoped for Husk to ease you to sleep with a hug and a lullaby, but he’s not answering his bedroom door. You didn’t find him in the lobby, either, so at this point you figure he’s either passed out drunk or out gambling again. It’s not the answer you want when you’re looking for your partner, but you’re still trying to be patient and accept that he has inner demons you’re nowhere near equipped to fight for him.

Patience. A man like Husk needs patience. But how much more patience can you have when he won’t even let you try?

You’ve given up on trying to sleep for now, and are instead lounging on the lobby couch and reading a book, not truly absorbing the words on the page as your mind wanders to thoughts about the relationship you’ve found yourself in.

You’re snapped out of your thoughts and your book as the front door to the hotel creaks open, followed by a familiar voice quietly cursing. Husk limps through the door, which is your first of many clues that something is terribly wrong.

He’s hunched over even more than usual, and he swears or hisses through his teeth every time he puts pressure on his right leg. It takes him a second to get moving again after every step. He’s clutching his left arm, and both of his wings are drooping and slightly crumpled.

“Husk?!” you shout as you spring up from the couch and run to him, all doubts about your relationship flung completely from your mind. “What happened?!”

He seems surprised to see you at first, but he swallows down any visible emotions as quickly as he can. “I’m fine,” he grumbles as he limps past you. “Just tired. Long night.”

“Of course you’re not fine! Come on, lean on me.” You grab his good arm and pull it away, and are horrified to see the bloodstained fur surrounding a nasty gash in his arm. “Husk!”

“I’m fine…” he repeats, even while breathing heavily through the pain.

“I’ll get you cleaned up. You’re not going upstairs alone.” You sling his good arm around your shoulder, and you slowly walk him up to his hotel room.

—

He keeps insisting he’s fine, but he’s not physically fighting your attempts at taking care of him. You’re not sure if it’s because he really does want your affection or because he’s too tired and in too much pain to protest, but either way, you’re glad he hasn’t chased you out of the room yet. You’re not a medical expert by any means, but he does seem soothed by the warm, wet rags you’ve wrapped around the wounds on his arm and his leg. For now, he’s laying on his back with his head in your lap and letting you gently stroke his head.

“What happened?” you ask.

He responds with a hollow laugh. “Told you I’m a fuckup,” is all he has to offer.

“Who did this to you?” you continue. “Why?”

“Does it matter?” he asks. “You don’t need to get involved in this shit.”

“I just want to help…”

“Yeah? How are you gonna help? You know a secret to getting me out of a million different debts with the fucking mob?”

Well, that’s more information than he’s offered before. “You’re in debt?”

“Ugh… didn’t mean to say that…”

“Husk… please talk to me. You’re always letting me talk to you when something’s bothering me…”

“This is way bigger than you can handle, doll. It’s been going on for years before this hotel even existed.”

“I still want to know… I want to know what’s going on with the person I lo- the person I care about.”

Husk groans, either in exasperation or pain. “You better not do anything stupid with what I’m about to tell you. I haven’t been able to save myself for years. Like hell you’ll be able to do anything about it.”

“At least let me hear you out,” you insist.

“All right… I’m in debt, like I said. It’s hard not to be when you’re a fucking gambling addict. There’s debts I’ve owed since back when I was an Overlord.”

“You were an Overlord?” This part is news to you.

“...I’ll tell you about that later,” is how he closes that subject. “I’ve been going out trying to win my way out of those debts, but more often than not, gambling just puts you further in the hole. The group I played with last night are an especially ruthless bunch. I got desperate enough to try to cheat my way into a win… and I got caught.”

“And then they…”

Husk scoffs. “Yeah. They weren’t happy. Probably would have killed me if they had any angelic weapons on ‘em. They still fucked me up pretty badly. I’m not as strong as I used to be, and even if I was, ten-on-one ain’t great odds. Would have been worse if I didn’t somehow manage to crawl out of there.” He sighs. “I’ll be fine. It’s not the first time I’ve gotten roughed up over a bad hand of poker. I was just able to hide it from you until now.”

“I wish you would have told me,” you say. “I could have taken care of you…”

“Why are you so desperate to take care of a fuckup like me?” he asks. “It’s not the first time I’ve gotten myself into some deep shit, and it’s not going to be the last. This is what you’re signing up for by insisting on hanging around me. What are you getting out of this?”

“You’re not a fuckup, Husk. You’re a performer, a dreamer, an artist… you’re attentive, patient, caring… you’re my best friend. You have issues, but who doesn’t, especially down here? But I know who you are underneath it all, and it’s more than worth it.”

He doesn’t seem to believe you, but he doesn’t say anything about it either way. He simply falls silent and closes his eyes as you stroke his hair.

“Husk?” you say after about a minute.

“Mm?”

“...I love you, Husk.” It’s out of your mouth before you can stop yourself. You don’t care how he reacts to it; it needs to be said.

“Even when I’m like this?” he asks.

“Especially when you’re like this,” you assure him. “Especially when you need it most.”

“I’m not gonna get better. Is this really what you want to be stuck with?”

“Who says you won’t?” you ask. “There’s nothing stopping you from trying, right? And you know I’m here to help you, if there’s anything I can do…” You gently stroke at the tuft of fur on his chest, lightly pulling out the tangles.

“...I don’t want to hurt you,” he finally says. “I never wanted to hurt anyone who loved me. But I couldn’t fix myself for them… what if I can’t fix myself for you?”

“It’s enough for me if you try. You have me, you have Angel, you have Charlie… you’ll get through this. It’s not too late.”

“You really believe in Charlie’s mission, huh…”

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think it was possible.”

He relaxes in silence for a few minutes as you continue to stroke his chest. 

“...I wanna go to sleep,” he finally says.

“Of course.” You help move him up to his pillows, going slowly and carefully to not aggravate his wounds any more than you have to. Once you have him in position, you go into the bathroom to get some clean rags, then return to change the makeshift bandages you’ve made for him.

“Do you want me to leave you alone tonight?” you ask as you tuck the rag around his leg.

He doesn’t even need a second to think about it. “No. I want you to stay.”

“Then I’ll stay.” Once you’re sure he’s comfortable, you join him on the other side of the bed. He groans in pain, but still moves to wrap an arm around you and pull you close. His wings don’t blanket you like they sometimes do, but you know it’s for the best if he doesn’t move them right now. You pull him in against your chest, finally feeling ready to fall asleep.

“Hey…” he says quietly just before you drift off.

“...I love you, too.”

[bao3bei4]

why zines? how zines?

i was on a panel at fanworks con 2023 about zines today. it was a lot of fun! i decided to turn my portion of the talk into a post for my friends who couldn’t make it to the panel. 

this post includes my thoughts on: 

why make a zine

how to generate ideas for zines

how to finish your zines

how to build an audience for your zines

so why zines? what are they? [ZEENS, rhymes with beans], pronounced that way because it’s a shortened form of the word magazine, are basically just that: self published magazines. but why make a zine over, say, a blog post? or any other piece of art. 

i have basically three reasons. the first is that making little books is cool. it’s genuinely awesome to make physical zines and have the product of your labor in your hand. it’s a great feeling to finish a project and feel a concrete reward, and a lot of times we don’t get that in our lives.

the second reason is that zines give you absolute editorial control. you can put anything you want on a page. whatever layout, whatever order, whatever fold, whatever content. you name it, you can do it. this is something other venues rarely give you. for artists, it’s phenomenal. and for the rest of us, it gives us the ability to become artists for a little bit, as we lay things out.

the third reason is that zines can be absolute shit. in fact, the more shit they are, the more diy and punk they are. they have an incredible lineage of stolen copy paper and anarchist politics. all that to say, is that there are no standards. the zine ethos is say what you wanna say. it’s tremendously freeing to go fuck polish and respectability, i’m making my project.

because of these three reasons, i want to encourage you to get started making zines by describing common challenges and worries and giving you several practical tips for each on working past them. so, in order, they’re “i don’t know what to make a zine about,” “i struggle to finish projects,” and “no one will read my zines.” let’s get into it.

first up, “i don’t know what to make a zine about.” i think this one is pretty common, even for experienced zine creators. sometimes you’re in the mood to make things but you have no clue what. a lot of people suggest to just go with random words or whatever pops into your head, but i’m picky! i find that unsatisfying! so here are some tips for people in the same boat. 

ONE: what’s distracting you? work with it. because anything can be a zine, let the things you’ve already done serve as inspiration. photos you’ve taken can be formatted into a zine. is there a game sucking up your attention? make a zine about it. the song stuck in your head can turn into a lyricbook, forgotten works in progress or sketches can be resurrected, cannibalized, or even published as incomplete zines. if you’ve been busy with real life, maybe the recipes you’ve been making—even if, especially if, they’re struggle meals, can turn into zines. interview your most interesting friend. summarize a book you read recently. even if you’ve just been doomscrolling, that’s a zine too! i got a zine last weekend called bay area newsreel which was collecting recent articles about local news from leftist perspectives gathered up into a handy volume. your attention is a gift, so look at what zine fodder it’s accumulated for you naturally. 

SECOND: add a twist. sometimes i have an idea but it isn’t quite right. it just seems too straightforward. so i try to develop along a single axis of content or form. what this means is basically go against your instincts, or rather, your first impulse. that first idea is very hard to walk away from, but doing so often gives you an idea that gets you unstuck. so for content, add a different perspective. for me this is often a theoretical approach. when i was stuck on my scum villain zine, turning it into freud zine let the words start flowing. next, on form: present it differently than your first instinct is to. if my first thought is “essay,” i try to figure out how to chunk out the information into modules or how to add interactivity or what kind of illustrations to add. if my first thought is “this could be a fic or comic,” i try turning it into an essay. saying things a different way often gives you a new perspective on the content as well. 

THIRD: copy! make your take on the same thing as someone else. it’s not stealing—well, ideally it isn’t. make your original take and give credit where credit is due and ask permission if necessary. but engage with the medium!!! making zines without reading zines is the same thing as trying to write a paper without citing sources, or a novel without reading your contemporaries. that is, you can do it, but it’s hard. zines are a genre into themselves so figure out how to situate yourself in their ongoing dialogue. an example of this from my own practice is that i own a zine about queer gods and mythological creatures from chinese history. reading it i was like. why don’t they talk about this. why don’t they talk about that. and that became the basis for my own zine, guaitai the strange and the queer which focused on queer chinese history and literature instead. different zine, same inspiration. 

all of my ideas suppose you have SOMETHING going on. what if you truly have nothing. my advice? adapted from my “how to write an essay” blog post, is to read a book. read an article. read something. and then post about it. and then turn your posts into a zine. don’t start entirely from scratch — give yourself a scaffolding. so first. read something and tell someone about it. i wasn’t lying about calling myself a consummate poster. it’s a big part of my thought process. 

second up, what if “i struggle to finish projects.” i’m no stranger to having a bunch of half finished half started projects lying around. but here are some zine-specific tips i have for addressing that.

FIRST! go smaller; go shittier. reduce the scope of your projects. make one pagers, lists. once when i was feeling stymied, i made a physical zine about movies i’d watched that month, just listing them with a couple bullet points on each film. i eventually turned it into a bigger digital zine where i listed movies i’d watched over the past several months with more thoughts on them, and nicely formatted. but that was something that came out of reducing my scope from “i need to write a manifesto on a movie i’ve watched recently” to “well i can just tell people about it” to “i can say two things about it.” and something actually got finished.

SECOND. your friends are a great tool for accountability. something i like to do is zine jams with my friends. nothing fancy, it’s just we’ll sit down for an hour and go we’re going to make something in this hour. or, for a bigger scope, we might work separately but commit to making a zine that weekend. it’s nice to have community and it’s nice to feel a little bit of a friendly deadline. i recommend this even if you DON’T have problems finishing zines. it’s a good time. 

THIRD. a lot of times if the words aren’t coming easily, it’s because i’m not trying to say the right thing. keep in mind that your zines don’t have to be “content.” this little paper zine i made about movies wasn’t made to share online; in fact, it’s not available online. i didn’t make it according to what other people would see or be interested in. you can and will burn out on making “marketable” content. corollary to this: sometimes what i have to say is something i DON’T want to share online. it might not be that it’s boring, it might be that it’s too personal. and i share a lot online, i write personal essays after all. but some projects i stall on because they’re really just for me, and i’m again, focused on making content. so this piece of advice is about rejecting the tyranny of the imaginary audience. 

and the next challenge is about embracing that audience! what if no one reads your zines, something that’s entirely possible. well there’s plenty you can do about that.

FIRST. cultivate zine community. read other people’s zines! talk to them about their zines! this greatly increases the chance that they will do the same for you. don’t go in expecting reciprocity; do it for its own sake, but it’s a great place to start. try asking people at zine fests if they’d be willing to trade with you, for instance. 

SECOND. write for yourself. it’s cheesy but it’s true. you really have to. if you’re not proud and happy with what you’re making on its own merits, what’s the point. now because this is a cop out tip, i’m not counting it as a tip on its own. 

so SECOND PART TWO. make your zines more accessible. if they’re not free, make them free—yes, you deserve to be compensated for your work, but it’s up to you to decide if you want a bigger audience first. if your zines aren’t short, make them shorter. make them short enough that you can post their entirety on social media or something else easy for your audience to consume. it’s a big ask sometimes to get someone to download your pdf! if they’re physical, hand them out to people you meet. remove all the barriers to entry.

THIRD. related to this, change medium. if you’re not making physical zines, try printing them out. if you’re not making digital zines, try digitizing them. both of these offer access to new audiences and new people who might be more interested in one form than another. 

i hope these thoughts encourage you to make a zine! if you do, please let me see it. i love reading zines. 

[eldritch-nightmare]

Do u have any headcanons for poly! proxies (the usual 3 of masky, hoodie and toby) ?? :)

a/n: yeah okay i'll write the creepypasta interps of masky and hoodie just this once because i'm weak for poly content. wasn't sure if you wanted ship content or x reader content so i did both. enjoy <3

poly proxy headcanons.

warnings: exclusively referring to tim and brian as masky and hoodie in this, i actually forgot how masky and hoodie behaved as proxies of slenderman oops, no real warning actually just some healthy relationships and communication.

X READER. [gn reader]

You and Hoodie are definitely the mediators, I think. Toby and Masky have a habit of bickering a lot when it comes to wanting to spend time with you, so sometimes you and Hoodie have to sit them down and talk things out.

The fact that you have three guys dating you means there's got to be a lot of communication and two of these three guys are exclusively terrible at communicating.

You guys sorta attempt to follow a schedule. The keyword is attempt. Sometimes it works out, and sometimes things happen that make the schedule get all messy.

They all take you out on vastly different dates.

Hoodie takes you out on little dates such as walks through a park, or browsing a music store.

Masky takes you out on dates that are a little more expensive, such as a nice restaurant, or maybe he'll take you to see the latest movie that just released. Just... don't question where he's getting money from, he won't answer you.

Toby is the least romantic of the three since he doesn't have the best experience with romance. He's not entirely sure what classifies as a date because he enjoys any time he gets to spend with you, be it helping you bake something or just sitting in silence with you.

Hoodie is definitely the first one to realize he's in love with you. It's not something that he's immediately aware of. I picture him just hearing you laugh one day and having the quiet realization of, 'oh, i'm in love with you.'

Toby is the second, but he denies his feelings. Not because he doesn't want to love you, he's just worried. He doesn't allow himself close enough to people to fall in love, but now he has and it's something he's trying to adjust to.

Masky realizes he loves you last. Definitely see him being the type to be drifting off into sleep only for you to then pop into his mind and for him to suddenly be wide awake like 'holy shit i'm in love.'

The way they love you is actually pretty similar. They're all rather quiet when it comes to love, though from an outside perspective, it's very obvious that Hoodie is in love with you while Toby and Masky sorta keep it under wraps.

One of them is almost always with you. Being proxies makes them busy, so they aren't always able to spend time with you but one of them always tries to make sure that they're with you. Just in case.

Slender is kinda mildly annoyed by the relationship, but it isn't one to judge. So long as it doesn't get in the way of their duties, it could care less about whether or not they date some outsider like you.

SHIP.

How the hell did this happen? That's what everyone thinks whenever they see the three together.

None of them ever thought they would be dating each other, let alone enter a poly relationship. I mean, everyone sorta thought that maybe Masky and Hoodie had a thing going on since they're so buddy-buddy with each other.

But Masky and Toby actually genuinely hated each other in the beginning, it's absolutely baffling that the two are dating each other now.

I definitely think Hoodie and Masky get together first. Classic best friends to lovers.

And I think Masky totally falls for Toby first. Something something he finds himself gradually accepting Toby's presence more often and that acceptance sorta blends into a strange feeling of affection that turns into the realization of 'ah fuck.'

Masky awkwardly going up to Hoodie like, 'babe, i got a crush on the new guy.' and Hoodie is just like 'wow, you're just now realizing?'

I definitely think at this point, Hoodie doesn't really have any particular romantic feelings toward Toby, but he isn't upset that Masky has a crush on him either, y'know? Like... he and Masky are both very much aware that they're poly, so there is no awkward tension or big argument. Just silent acknowledgment and encouragement.

But Masky is like way too awkward around Toby now, so it's definitely Hoodie who gets a feel on whether or not Toby might reciprocate those feelings. And lo and behold, he does.

Hoodie had to be the one to confess his feelings to Masky before they started dating, and he knows damn well that neither Toby nor Masky will confess their feelings to each other, and while it's adorable to watch the silent pining, it's also equally as painful so he would literally just sit them both down and be like 'you guys like each other. discuss.' like it's some sort of debate.

Very awkward confessions between the two a lot of 'i fear getting close to people because i've already lost so much and i really can't lose you too'

Bada bing, bada boom. Masky and Hoodie are dating, Toby and Masky are dating, and Hoodie and Toby are... testing the waters, currently.

If even one of them has a bad day, all plans get cancelled and their all huddling up in one of their rooms and putting on awful movies and maybe cuddling a bit who knows.

Hoodie, introducing Masky to someone: This is my boyfriend, and this is my boyfriend's boyfriend, Toby. (and then he vaguely gestures to Masky and Toby, nd Masky his holding Toby's hand and Toby is just staring. Blankly.)

There's a lot of communication that goes on, and there are some days where they struggle a bit but they make things work.

[sometimesijustfeellikescreaming]

Apparently, Boot Camp Doesn't Have Lessons in Subtlety

Rating: T - Word Count: 3.5k

Read on Ao3

SUMMARY:

Benny DeMarco doesn't get paid enough to sleep in the same barrack as the Bucks at the POW camp in the winter months once everyone has to start sharing bunks…

Buck and Bucky are sharing a bunk and let's just say they are not subtle about anything that is going on in that bed. If anyone was oblivious to the feelings going on between the two of them before, it's never been more obvious than now.

Benny DeMarco is pretty over it, but he'll also defend them to his dying breath. Oh, and he's taken to gossiping about them with John Brady.

OR

A companion fic to my 5+1 Clegan bedsharing fic In your arms (I think I might survive) giving a humorous outsider perspective from the men of the 100th and those sharing the barrack with Buck and Bucky.

Benny DeMarco does not get paid enough to put up with petty shit in life. Specifically, the Bucks. Specifically how not subtle they are about their obvious feelings for each other.

God, could they be more obvious?

It was obvious from the moment Bucky came walking in the gates asking if Buck made it. Sure, the two were best friends and that was a normal question, but anyone who has eyes could've seen the way Bucky's whole demeanor changed once he caught sight of his "best friend."

Best friends my ass.

Best something, though, that's for sure.

It's usually not horribly distracting or overt, though. They pass as friends most of the time unless Bucky is drunk, Benny supposes, or they're arguing in which case they act like a goddamn married couple. They fly under the radar pretty easily at the prisoner-of-war camp for that reason. No danger, really. The Nazis would have their heads for any kind of association. Everyone knows how the Germans feel about that sort of thing. It's not spoken about. Hell, most people everywhere don't look too kindly on it, but DeMarco's not the kind of man who thinks somebody should be murdered because of the way they're living their life. It's not like some happiness in another person is worthy of the death sentence. That's just madness. And Buck and Bucky are some of DeMarco's best friends, he could never feel hatred toward them.

Annoyance? So much. And in increasing amounts...

See, they were fine until it got cold at night then Benny is certain everyone in the whole of their Barracks became painfully aware of the fact that they were painfully in love with each other because — goddamn it — they were sleeping in the same bunk and if it wasn’t obvious before that the two were hopelessly smitten with each other, well, after that it certainly was.

For one thing, Buck Cleven has the worst case of puppy dog eyes that Benny has ever seen. He’s had it bad for a while now (since before Benny went down and was still back at base) with his little soft smiles that he thinks he hides so well and mostly (mostly!) only gives Bucky when he’s not looking — but everyone else is.

LORD give him strength.

And then there’s Bucky.

That man antagonizes the fuck out of Buck at any given chance and Benny doesn’t even think he realizes it. And the worst thing is they both seem to like it. It’s the strangest thing and Benny is sure that this is their way of flirting.

Which is entirely infuriating because it’s the most annoying thing in the universe to be around.

Bucky’s antics only increase once they start sharing a bunk, and Benny’s not sure if it has more to do with his close proximity to Buck or his general cabin fever due to the German winter at the Stalag. Whatever the cause, Bucky is incorrigible, and his behavior at times is nigh impossible to deal with. Though, Benny has to admit, the moments of levity do bring several of the other men out of their low moments more often than not, himself included, so he can’t fault Bucky too much for his attitude. Even when he pisses Benny off, he is a light in the dark camp.

Still makes Benny want to punch him in the face half the time, but in a brotherly way.

And if the two of them are bad during the daytime, that’s nothing compared to how transparent they are when they’re actually snuggled together at night.

Now, Benny’s not an idiot. It’s winter. Even he is sharing a bunk. It’s cold as fuck outside and even he understands the necessity to shove aside pride and get in close quarters with a buddy for the foreseeable future. But, the Bucks have taken this situation and turned it into a nightly slumber party.

After the lights turn out they stay up whispering and giggling with each other like a couple of school girls. He’s convinced if their hair grew out long enough while they were here in the camp, the two of them would spend the nights braiding each other’s.

It’s not like Benny is especially complaining that they’re talking. They’re not that loud; he can’t even tell what they’re saying and he’s not sure anyone could even those in the bunks closest to them (though, the men in the bunks above and below them soon found themselves migrating away due to the way the Bucks consistently stayed up talking at night— nobody wanted to be in their bubble. They were a whole world unto themselves. Again— not subtle). So, it’s not the volume that bothers Benny about their conversations at night. It’s not even really that he’s bothered. It’s just that, really? It’s every night. And maybe Benny can admit to being just a little jealous because it’s not like he has a best friend here. Or anyone to talk to. Not that he would really want someone so important to him to be experiencing the Stalag alongside him, but it’s significant that in a place like this, the Bucks have each other. They seem to be holding together better individually because they have one another.

It pisses Benny off as much as anything else does. It’s not rational, but it makes their voices carrying across the room at night irritate him. He tries not to let it get to him because it’s not fair that them having a sliver of happiness should make him feel that way, but he’s just a man.

He starts to get over it when he starts gossiping with John Brady who is in another barrack, but also from the 100th and knows as well as he does what it is to know the Bucks.

“Brady, you have no idea— Bucky has it so bad. Yesterday we were all sitting around shootin’ the shit after lunch and— I swear to god— Buck gave him this look like he was being an idiot — because he was — and Bucky just leaned in real close to him like none of the rest of us were even there, face almost touching, no sense of personal space whatsoever—“

“Well, hey, it’s not like Bucky’s ever been good at personal space with his buddies much anyway—"

“Yeah, but usually he’s drunk. But listen to this next bit. Bucky leans in real close to Buck, fully sober, grinning like an idiot, and says ‘I could show you a thing or two.’” Benny lets it hang in the air, waiting for Brady’s response. He has his hands splayed in a well? gesture. Brady’s eyebrows fly up and he leans toward Benny in interest.

“You were all talking about baseball, right? But still, that is… very not subtle. A blatant flirtation.”

“I know.”

“Buck must know that too, right?”

“Please, Buck is always flirting with Bucky. He just does it differently. That man is not subtle either.” Brady seems confused by that, not convinced.

“Wait, what do you mean, I’ve never seen him flirt with anyone. Doesn’t he have a girl back home he’s writing to? I thought they were pretty serious!”

Benny makes a placating gesture and leans back in his chair. “I’m not saying he’s not serious with his girl back home or anything, but the way he makes eyes at Bucky is not a made-up thing. And anyone who’s ever read the Bible knows a man can have more than one lover.”

“Benny!”

“I’m just saying…”

But the thing is, the Bucks really aren’t subtle. Like, at all.

And if Bucky thinks he’s quiet in any sense of the word then he’s a damn fool.

Buck may be able to keep quiet most of the time in the daylight, being that he keeps mostly to himself and is pretty private, not saying too much, and isn’t overtly given to random outbursts of sound. But Bucky? Bucky is the pure opposite of Buck. In the daytime, he’s impulsive and will make stray comments on any conversation whether he’s a part of it or not, whether it’s appropriate or not. The only time Benny has ever seen Bucky hold his tongue is when it’s in a professional capacity in front of a superior officer, and even then half the time Bucky is mouthing back and risking his career.

To say this translates to the situation with the Bucks is to say that the sky is blue.

Meaning in December everyone in the Barrack with the Bucks is aware there is a change in the nature of the relationship between the two of them.

They are not subtle. Heavy breathing and the occasional low moan from their bunk is not an unusual occurrence starting sometime in December with increasing frequency.

Nobody says anything about it.

The Bucks are both happier for the shift in their dynamic and anytime somebody goes to complain about it, all of the men from the 100th noticeably stiffen and glare. They’re protective of their Majors to the end. All of them would likely die for either of the Bucks, let alone sucker punch anyone who criticized the men for finding happiness in wartime.

It’s not really a conscious decision on Benny’s part, to defend the Bucks and their relationship, it’s just that any time he hears anyone start to get a little tetchy about it, he gets defensive. So what if they’re keeping you up a bit? Shove off, put some wool in your ears, and deal with it, it’s the damn war. Stop being such a damn child about it.

They don’t complain anymore after that.

It’s just the way it is after that. Nobody says anything about it to anyone else. If the 100th is this protective of the Majors for mere comments, imagine how they would be with an actual threat? DeMarco’s not sure the 100th would be able to leave a man alive. Or at least unscarred— probably scare a man into secrecy if they even thought about saying anything about their Majors.

The days surrounding Christmas are perhaps some of the most awkward days of DeMarco’s life. Not only because it’s Christmas and he’s trying to ignore the holiday, not get caught up in his complicated feelings about the Holy Day that he wished he was spending with family back home, or even on base in more favorable circumstances with more friends, but also because the Bucks are acting weird. There’s a definite tension between them like they’re fighting. It carries into the next day too and the itchy feeling permeates into the air like a bad smell and affects everyone. It’s frankly awful.

Even Brady, who’s not in the same Barracks takes note of it at meal time.

“Benny, why does it feel like Mom and Dad are fighting and it’s my fault?”

“Thank GOD I’m not the only one who noticed!”

“I mean, look at them! They’re sitting right across from each other, and they keep glancing at each other when the other isn’t looking and they’re all moping sad eyes! What is going on?”

“Fuck if I know, Brady.”

“How long until they make up?”

“God, I hope it’s soon.”

Brady has a wild smirk on his face. “My bets are on tomorrow night. By the next morning, they’ll be acting back to normal— just you see.” His eyes are like a madman and Benny can’t see any logical conclusion to what he’s saying.

“No way in hell, kid. I’ll take you on that.”

But when he wakes up the next morning to Bucky’s horrible renditions of the birthday song, Benny knows he’s beat. That little shit knew too much. If Benny had known today was Gale Cleven’s birthday he never would have doubted that the Bucks would reconcile today.

And reconcile they do.

By the end of the night, Benny is convinced anyone in the Barrack who didn’t already know about the Bucks surely does by now because—

They. Are. Not. Subtle.

Or QUIET.

GOD.

Sometimes Benny wishes he could bleach his brain.

He loves his friend, but really, the two of them are colossal idiots.

There was more moaning tonight than usual and the culprit was none other than Buck, which is honestly surprising too since he’s the quiet one between the two of them for most of his life. But it is his birthday.

And— goddamn it— Benny does not need to think about what kind of present Bucky must be giving Buck tonight. Because that is just way too much.

But really? REALLY? In front of all of them?

Benny DeMarco is not getting paid enough to deal with the Bucks.

Benny shuffles into the mess in the morning and sits at his usual table waiting for Brady with his head in his hands. When he sees the Bucks walk in shoulder to shoulder, practically glued to the hip once again, talking quietly about the fuck knows what Buck smiling with his eyes and Bucky practically vibrating out of his skin with wild energy—

Well, Benny knows he’s lost the bet.

Damn, Brady.

Speak of the devil. The younger man takes a seat at the table across from him with a smirk, inclining his head toward the smitten couple a ways down the mess, but doesn’t say anything.

“Oh, shut up, Brady, I got enough of an earful last night.”

Brady’s eyebrows go up comically high at that. “Wait, no! Now you have to dish!”

Benny glares. “As if you didn’t know already that it was Cleven’s birthday yesterday.”

Brady has the decency to look sheepish at that. “I’ll admit, I may have had some insider knowledge there— but how was I supposed to know you didn’t also know? All’s fair, and that.”

“Whatever. You really sure you want to hear this one, Brady?”

“Since when have you been shy about the exploits and drama of the Bucks, Benny?” He’s sure his face must be red. Benny glances over his shoulder where the men are sitting across from each other, chatting like the tension of the last few days never happened.

“Okay, fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. They— well, obviously I don’t know anything for certain, but…”

“But what? Spit it out, Benny!”

Benny covers his eyes with his hand. Why is this so hard to say? Is it because it’s his friends? Is it because they’re men? He doesn’t know, but it feels so secretive like he can’t say it in the daylight. He takes the hand away and leans in a little closer. “Well, I’m pretty sure that Bucky got Buck off last night. There was so much moaning and most all of it was Buck. Some sort of birthday surprise. It’s never been like that before, ya know?”

Brady’s eyes go comically wide, his jaw falling slack just so. His eyes dart over Benny’s shoulder to where the Majors are. Benny wonders if he’s broken the poor kid. After a moment, the biggest grin Benny has ever seen splits Brady’s face.

“OH MY GOD! FINALLY!”

What.

Benny is so confused.

Several people around them look over at Brady’s outburst.

“Brady, shut up!” Benny hisses between clenched teeth.

“Sorry! Sorry, it’s just. I mean, it’s kinda romantic, innit? I mean, you know they met at bootcamp, right? They always tell stories about falling in love during hopeless circumstances and how love overcomes everything— to actually see it happen? I mean, c’mon! Look at them! They’re beating the odds! They keep surviving everything and even though they both got downed in Germany, they both made it here to the same place? Beating the odds again? How can I not be excited that their friendship destined for more is becoming that? And that they’re making it work despite that?” Brady’s staring off into the distance, a goofy-looking smile on his face, his eyes practically filled with hearts, and Benny—

Benny is just staring at him with a dumbfounded expression.

What the actual fuck is going on here.

Benny gets it on a superficial level. What the kid said makes sense in a girly romance-novel sort of way, but it doesn’t connect for him the same way. The Bucks are just his friends and they’re just two guys who like each other and maybe had sex last night way too close to him in the barracks.

Brady is something else.

“Right.”

After that, everything escalates. The Bucks are all over each other day and night it seems, and Brady is always either talking to Benny about them or hounding him for information. It’s like the Bucks bring Brady hope in the camp, but Benny is concerned that it’s bordering on obsessive. As for the Bucks themselves… well, they’re still flying under the radar during the day to anyone who doesn’t know them, but for the love of all that is holy Benny just must know them because it’s like all he can see are their little glances and nods. The way they leave things around for each other in hidden gestures that mean something to the other. How one of them will quirk an eyebrow or leave space for the other to fill.

He doesn’t mean to notice things. He’s trained his whole life to be an observant man! It’s in his nature to pick up on interpersonal dynamics. He could do this with his eyes closed. (At night he does this with his eyes closed and he wishes he could just knock himself unconscious but he swears those men are making out in the bunk across the way. He just knows it).

So, when it’s Valentine’s Day and Buck gets a letter from his sweet, sweet Marge and Buck absolutely shuts down, Benny really should have seen that coming. It surprises him that he didn’t see it coming, actually.

“Brady they’re acting like idiots.”

“Why? It’s Valentine’s Day! They’ve been dating since at least Buck’s birthday— what could possibly have happened?”

“That’s the thing, Brady. I have a theory.”

“Uh-oh. What is it.”

“Listen here, kid, I dunno how well you’ll take this.”

Brady’s eyebrows draw together.

“You don’t think they broke up on Valentine’s, do you?” Brady sounds horrified even at the thought. Before Benny can get in a word edgewise to calm him down, Brady is talking again. “But even if they did have some big blowout fight— Benny! They would never stay apart for long! Look at those two through everything! I mean—“

“Brady! That’s not it at all!”

All the stress instantly drops from Brady’s frame and is replaced with confusion in a moment.

“It’s not? Then… what is it.”

Benny heaves a sigh and runs a weary hand through his hair. Not paid enough for this…

“Listen, Buck got another letter from Marge today, right, ‘cause it’s Valentine’s and all, and Bucky got all sad about it—“

“Right! That makes sense.”

“Stop interrupting me.”

“Sorry!”

Benny glares.

“Sorry,” Brady says again, hands up in a peace offering.

After another moment of staring Brady down, Benny continues. “As I was saying, Bucky got all hurt about the letter, so my theory is that these two idiots,” Benny leans in closer and drops his voice for security’s sake as he continues, “have been dicking around this whole time and never actually talked about the fact that they’re both in love with each other.”

Brady gasps— loudly. He looks even more horrified than when he thought the Bucks broke up.

“NO WAY!”

“SHUT UP!” Benny hisses, looking around to make sure nobody is watching them. “But think about it for a minute.

“There’s no way they haven’t talked about it, Benny! You said so yourself, they’re always up at night talking and whispering— for hours sometimes!”

Benny gives him a wary look. “Yeah, but you honestly think either Buck or Bucky is willingly talking about their feelings for hours and hours?”

Brady purses his lips. “You got me there.”

There’s a beat of silence between them as they both sit with the revelation of it all.

“What happens now, then?”

“Well, one thing is for sure, if Bucky mopes around the barracks for one more goddamn minute I’ll lose my fucking mind, so I’m going to go tell Buck that his boyfriend is being an idiot. And frankly? That he is too.”

“Well, you better let me know how it goes tomorrow! This is SERIOUS, Benny!”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure whether I want to or not, you’ll find a way to get it out of me.”

Brady does, in fact, get the story out of Benny the next day.

“OH MY GOD HE WHAT????”

“Brady, would you calm down? And shut the hell up? I just told you what happened!”

“I know, I know! I just can’t believe it. You really mean to tell me that Bucky was moping in his own bunk after MONTHS of sleeping in Buck’s and when Buck confronted him about it he stood at the foot and talked and then suddenly aggressively climbed on top of Bucky for some sexually charged fight until they eventually just started making out?”

“That’s what I just said, Brady, yes.”

Brady starts laughing and doesn’t stop until there are tears in the corners of his eyes.

“I’m also pretty sure they said I love you, but I never can actually hear them. Just from the context.”

“OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOD THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.”

“Brady SHUT UP!”

~Fin

[three--rings]

I'm really disturbed by the fact that I'm seeing people post S2ep8 of IWTV still talking about Lestat as an abuser and Louis as a victim, period end of conversation.

Because I feel like we are explicitly told in ep7 and 8 that that is not the case but some people haven't adjusted their thoughts yet.

Now this is a show explicitly about the unreliability of personal accounts and what we see on screen is often proven not to be how things happen. So, obviously things are always up for debate. But.

We are shown the extended scene of what happened before Lestat flew Louis up into the sky to drop him. In S1 we saw that scene from Claudia's perspective, and she just heard crashing and shouting, and then saw Louis thrown through a wall by Lestat before the whole flight thing.

Ep 7 we are shown Lestat's version of events which are Louis physically and verbally attacking him over and over, slamming Lestat into things, while Lestat begs him to stop, warning him that he will fight back and he's afraid of hurting Louis, and Louis merely eggs him on. Then we get Lestat turning the tables and throwing Louis through a wall.

Now, obviously this is Lestat's version and probably a bit biased to be sympathetic to him. But Louis admits Lestat's version of Claudia's turning is the more correct one than his account and he admits to portraying Lestat intentionally as a villain in the interview, so...well I think the show is telling us that our impression from S1 is at least not the whole story.

Ep 8 underlines this with the scene with Louis and Lestat when Louis apologizes for the way he acted to Lestat in the past, saying "I tried to make nights awful with you. I wanted you to suffer."

We also see him throw Armand into the wall in this episode, which I get people feel Armand deserved, but I feel like the conversation around that has been weird as well. Like, people talk about that being a sign that Louis is stronger than Armand, as if physical violence is impossible from someone who is weaker than their victim. But this is also another instance of Louis using physical violence against his partner when (justifiably) angry.

Look, abusive relationships are complicated. Mutually toxic ones even more so. Reactive abuse is a thing, when an initial victim becomes violent or abusive in response to abuse they've received. It's complicated, and I speak from personal experience.

But I very much feel like the show is SCREAMING at the audience that things are not simple and that no one in this scenario is blameless, ESPECIALLY not Louis. He's not blameless in the case of Claudia. He's not blameless in the destruction of his relationship with Lestat. He's not blameless in his relationship with Armand, for all it's built on a lie, because he entered it to fucking make Lestat mad for god's sake and that's a terrible foundation for a relationship.

Raglan James says Louis is the one to really be afraid of. Louis at the end of the season with his "I own the night" speech. Much of the second half of S2 is ABOUT this.

The entire heartbreaking scene with Lestat at the end is Louis owning his part of the responsibility, and that's huge. Lestat accepted his responsibility and apologized on stage in Paris, and now Louis is as well.

So yeah, I think some people need to rethink their attitudes when they call Lestat Louis's abuser and Louis a battered wife. I read that and I go wait, we're not gonna interrogate that at all?

I of course feel at this point I have to put in a bunch of disclaimers about how this is not an anti-Louis post or trying to excuse the violence done by Lestat, blah blah but honestly some people who can only see things in terms of Good and Evil and Guilty and Innocent are never going to appreciate that kind of thing anyway. I just don't know why those people are watching this show, which is entirely about nuance and complicated interpersonal relations that are messy and resist easy analysis, BY DESIGN.

[tommystummy]

I was literally just thinking about your most recent comment on ~daddy kink-gate~, and how I’m curious what the demographics of the two opinions are. several of the vocal critics have been people who aren’t attracted to men, and like, yeah, of course that would give you the ick then, you don’t like men?? I’d also raise that for straights, daddy issues is often just shorthand for (a woman) who is hypersexual and possibly a little kinky but not necessarily invoking daddy kink. specifically for women who interact with straight men, it’s kind of used as another way of calling someone a slut? all that said, that doesn’t justify the reaction to the conversation when Buck is the one who initiated it and having Daddy Issues in all meanings of the phrase is literally a core character trait of his. and they’re both queer men, so as you’ve pointed out, it means something specific to them. people need to stop and think for five seconds and recognize that just because *you personally* might be uncomfortable if your partner responded in that way doesn’t mean that 1) Buck, a fictional character who is Not You!, was uncomfortable, and 2) that Tommy is a Bad Person for responding to Buck’s flirtation in that manner.

There is a lot going on Gender Wise because yeah “daddy issues” when applied to a woman is often code for “slut” and yeah from a heteronormative perspective saying “I hope you have daddy issues” is a fucked up thing for man to say to a woman.

You can see that in the way some male-attracted women reacted to the scene e.g.:

But from a non-heteronormative, queer male perspective that was a playful flirty joke that opened up potential talk about kinks. As you can see in my reaction:

And even in the captions of queer male gifmakers like @tylerposey here

I think the ultimate disconnect is that this is a genuine misunderstanding of what the interaction was like from a MLM perspective (and people willfully ignoring Buck being the one who brought up daddy issues and kept pushing on it when Tommy said he didn’t) and I don’t know how the exact demographics shake out but it seemed like most queer men picked up the intent of the scene (Buck and Tommy talk about their fathers, then the conversation gets a little flirty to show that they’re more comfortable with one another) and most of the most vocal disgust has come from people who, by and large, are not queer men.

Like the Big One that caused several unfollows and blocks all over the fandom was written by a lesbian and yeah, if you’re a lesbian, the idea of a man saying he hopes you have daddy issues WOULD activate your fight or flight response and to that I do have some sympathy but it keeps coming back to the simple fact that in context, a joke about daddy kink is about as tame as you can expect from two boyfriends flirting in the privacy of their apartment.

I shudder to think what the reaction will be if they ever make a joke about Actual Gay Sex.

[disco-troy]

I would argue this to be in character bc Dicks issues with consent. But there’s one big glaring issue with this perspective on Dick and that’s the years he spent as leader of the titans with Joey on the team and the way he approached Joeys power set.

Because Dick used Joeys powers - the same as deadman’s of possession - strategically and often in order to accomplish the teams goals and didn’t seem to have any moral qualms about it.

There’s a few ways to see this, right -

A) Dick's definition of "innocent" is doing a lot of work here - most of the people Dick asks Joey to posses - aren’t “innocent” they are criminals and henchmen or somewhat complicit in crimes. he doesn't like when people are possessed but he sees it as a necessary evil and he has to be practical more than moral - and so he makes a line to do with perceived innocence and sticks to it.

B) but that doesn't account for the times that Dick has asked Joey to posses people on the team or people that are not directly responsible for a crime - like when Vic gets angry and Dick asks Joey to posses him until he agrees to calm down. This is so so fucked up for so many ways - espcially to vic who at this point in the timeline is THE MOST fucked up about consent

“You haven’t given us a choice” as if this is an impersonal decision and not a revoking of bodily autonomy and ability to express emotion. No one on the team seems to see anything wrong with it except Vic (hint it’s bc they’re all fucked up about consent :))

^^ B is kind of an extension of A - the idea of "necessary" evil. It just shows that Dick is willing to stretch that definition as far as it needs to go. He may know morally what he's doing is wrong but he will not confront it because he is filling it under necessary evils. Anything can be necessary, it’s not the person to which the consent is revoked but the context in which it is.

C) another option is the Joey of it all. Dick is close to Boston, in some continuities they have an uncle-nephew relationship - Boston famously says Dick is the only guy in the superhero community everyone can trust.

But Joey is on a whole other level. Despite being introduced as Slade's son, there's something about Joey that Dick trusted from the start and maybe that bit of trust, of seeing and believing in Joeys innate kindness and struggle with his powers (as opposed to Boston enjoining it in this scene) helped Dick dimiss the lingering feelings about the morality... its Joey... Who would mind Joey in them…. (pun not intended im sorry)

D) Finally there's the time component - maybe as he grew up Dick started to refect on his past, his decisions, his role as a leader. Something that is important to note is that chronologically Dick's issues with consent really ramp up after ntt (though brother blood does happen in ntt) - him struggling w/ bodily consent and getting comments, assult, his name + story being warped, people wanting to control his destiny and identity ect. So I think it would be fair to say that as Dick matures he looks back on the decisions hes made with new eyes and is horrified with what he incidently facilitated. Maybe this newfound wisdom and self reflection is why he makes more of an effort to mention his views to Boston despite that fact that he's worked with Boston with no problem before.

Relevant Dick Grayson thoughts from the Renegade arc:

[reasonsforhope]

Do you have any advice for dealing with election anxiety?

I think/hope so!

First, a couple caveats:

I'm from the US, so US perspective, and about US 2024 elections

I know more about politics/follow them more than like, at least 85% of US Americans? But I am not an expert.

Environment/climate news and climate hope are science-based and can be measured/predicted empirically wayyyyy more than politics can, because People

I'm not getting into the trenches around Democrats vs. the Left vs. Liberals vs. Progressives. In this post, we're all in one big venn diagram of mostly interchangeable terms

So, first off, maybe my biggest piece of advice is this: The antidote to anxiety is action.

Find something you can do to help - anything. Anxiety is like fear - it's part of your brain's alarm system. It's part of your brain's mechanism for telling you that you need to do something

So if you listen to that alarm and do something, your brain won't feel the same need to desperately escalate the alarm system

You can look up and sign up for actions, protests, petitions, letter-writing campaigns, phone banking, canvassing, and more for candidates near you at Mobilize.us (no Repubs on here I promise). They also work with Swing Left a lot - a group that helps voters look up and focus on helping the nearest race that is actually competitive (because most of them aren't!)

Again, that's Mobilize.us and Swing Left as two of the best places to find out how and where to help, and sign up to do so

Other than that, I don't have advice specifically so much as I have "some useful and more hopeful ways to think about the coming US election" and to a lesser extent democracy in general

1. The media is going to underreport how well the Left and/or Democrats are doing, basically no matter what.

So, although we can't get cocky about it, this is something absolutely worth remembering when you see just about any polling or predictions about the 2024 elections.

Here's why:

Poling is weird and often inaccurate and skews in a lot of ways and is inherently biased, and it's less accurate the further you are from an election. Also, the electoral college is a huge complication here

This skewing is built into both the interpretation of the poll and the design of the poll itself - how many people do they sample? Demographic spread? Polls try to go for "likely voters," but how well can you predict that, especially as voting rates for young people and marginalized groups are rising, often dramatically?

Right now, those biases are all skewing most to all polls and predictions to the right. Including from basically all pollsters, as well as left-wing media and news outlets.

Now, THAT'S NOT INHERENTLY A BAD THING. It's not because they don't want the Left to win. It's because in 2016, basically all mainstream media, including left-leaning media, said that there was a very low chance Trump was going to win. They said that Hillary Clinton had it in the bag. So they're all correcting for the huge inaccuracy in the 2016 (and 2020 and 2022 tbh) elections

Not only were they catastrophically and humiliatingly wrong about that, they then had to deal with the fact that that very reporting was part of why Clinton lost in 2016 - voters heard she was probably going to win, so they felt safe staying home instead of voting

And then the 2020 election polls were also super wrong, mostly in the other direction

Polling as a field is undergoing a massive shakeup around this, trying to figure out how to not fuck up that badly again, but they haven't figured it out yet, so right now they're skewing things to compensate

That's for the sake of both their own credibility and, you know, the part where just about no one in either left-wing or mainstream media or mainstream polling orgs wants Trump to win

So they're going to underreport Democratic chances on purpose to a) compensate for the bias skewing things toward Democrats in their models, and b) to make sure that they don't accidentally help Trump win again

Sources: x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x

Reasons the Republicans are in more trouble than a lot of people think

Democrats are largely closing ranks hard around Biden, because no matter what they think of Biden, they know a Repub victory would be a thousand times worse

Republicans, however, are absolutely NOT unifying around a candidate. And they're also the ones who go around saying a ton of awful and offensive and wildly untrue things about their opponents. Meaning that the Republican primary is about to get fucking messy, and probably all of their candidates will be tarred in the process

So, basically, the Republican candidates are all going to be busy smearing the fuck out of each other - while Biden mostly doesn't have to deal with that level of negative campaigning against him for months and months

As studies show, in politics, "a negative frame is much more persistent, or “stickier,” than a positive one. If you come at an issue negatively, but are later reminded of the policy's positive aspects, you will still think it's a bust."

Also, Biden is gonna get basically all presidential-race left-wing big-name donor money, while the Right will have that money split a bunch of ways and blow through it hard on infighting, creating a probable funding gap

Trump's campaign contributions are all going to pay his legal fees. Like, to the extent that last month, his main PAC had just $4 million in cash on hand - because they siphoned over $101 million to pay his legal fees (muahahaha)

Sources: x, x, x, x, x, x, x

Other hopeful things to consider

Yes, Trump's indictments and trials are, unfortunately, boosting his numbers among his supporters. However, that's only with the hard right wing - and you can't win a general election with just the far right. He needs to appeal to independent voters and moderate Repubs - and every indictment and trial hurts his chances with them. x, x

In 2022, literally everyone was predicting a "red tsunami." And they were wrong: it never happened. Instead, Democrats picked up a seat in the senate, lost a third or less of the seats in the House that they were expected to, and won a number of statewide races. x, x, x, x, x

DeSantis's decision to go to war with Disney stands to do him a lot of fucking hard. Disney isn't just powerful in general - it's an unbelievably powerful force and employer in DeSantis's home state of Florida. Disney has already pulled a $1 billion project from Florida due to the feud, is responsible for "half" of FL's tourism industry, and and is branding DeSantis as "anti-corporation" and "anti-business" - dangerous charges in the right wing. x, x, x, x, x, x

Abortion is an issue that gets voters to the polls. This is an issue on which politicians are wildly out of step with voters: Numbers change depending on how you break it down, but generally 60% to 70% of Americans think abortion should be legal - which is, in election terms, is a landslide. For years, that momentum has been with Republicans. Well, now it's with us, and so far pro-choice candidates and ballot propositions have done way better than expected. To quote Vox, in 2022, "abortion rights won in all six states with abortion ballot measures, including in red states like Kentucky and Montana that otherwise elected Republican lawmakers." x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x