#and speaking of daughters i feel like brian's relationship with his daughter could have been a good focus for his route

[obsessivelollipoplalala]

So, I saw this in a group that someone shared an article that was made in 2021, from Daily Express (not surprising), but it was speaking about Barbra Valentin.

Which this is what the person wrote about (sorry if it's long but reading it infuriates me):

Freddie Mercury's other woman after Mary 'They were in love, she was even wilder than him'

FREDDIE MERCURY loved Mary Austin his whole life. Even though he was a gay man, he also had one more passionate and intense relationship with outrageous actress Barbara in the mid-1980s, just before he met Jim Hutton. They even shared a bed and Freddie immortalised her in Queen's It's A Hard Life video.

Freddie Mercury and Mary Austin's break up discussed by friends

It's A Hard Life remains most famous for its outrageously OTT video, but Freddie's bandmate Brian May believes it is also one of his friend's most beautiful compositions. There is a moment when the Queen frontman sings the iconic and heartfelt line, "Two lovers together, to love and live forever in each other’s hearts." In the video, he is looking at the voluptuous and glamorous woman leaning over the balcony above him. This was Barbara Valentin, who shared two extraordinary years with Freddie in Munich. She remained close to him until the very end and was one of the few invited to his last ever birthday party.

This weekend marks the release of “It's A Hard Life” in 1984. At the time, Freddie was already living in Munich. He had discovered the German city in 1979 when the band recorded the album The Game at the famous Musicland studios.

Freddie's fame meant he increasingly struggled to find privacy in the UK at the same time as he had begun to explore his sexuality. Munich's thriving gay scene offered him freedom and opportunity.

From 1983-1985 the star made Munich his home and even bought a flat with devoted new friend Barbara.

Busty blonde bombshell Barbara was notorious in Germany as the provocative star of saucy films. Freddie loved her outrageous character and his friends believed he had met his match.

His PA and close friend Peter Freestone said: “They had the most intense, loving relationship. I know one hundred percent they shared a bed on numerous occasions."

Another friend, West End star Peter Straker, said: "I was told he just met this woman who was larger than life. Barbara was very outrageous. She was the queen of nudity.”

Royal Ballet star Wayne Sleep added: "Freddie was with a woman. So I thought.’There you go. He’s not predictable at all, is he, this boy?.’"

Another friend said: “It was almost like he enjoyed being with someone who had a wilder reputation than him.

Many years later, Barbara’s daughter Minki Reichardt said: “I know they were in love. I know that my mother was in love with him because she said so.

"I think their relationship was very close and very intense. They really liked the conflict. They were talking, shouting, arguing, and then they were in their arms again, it was always very lively. I think Freddie was the love of her life."

Barbara's German friend Elisabeth Volkmann went even further: “Freddie loved Barbara. Barbara loved him. And it was a big love between both. If he wouldn’t be homosexual, maybe they married “.

Except, of course, Freddie was homosexual. While Wayne Sleep believed Freddie had slept with Barbara. He certainly spent nights with her at her apartment on Stollberg Strasse. Peter Freestone remains a little more coy on the subject.

He added: "I wasn’t sitting in the room. I can’t tell you yes or no if sex happened. If it had, Freddie could not have been quiet about it."

In fact, for most of those two years in Munich, Freddie was also in a relationship with local restauranteur Winnie Kirschberger, despite the fact that neither spoke the other’s language.

Whatever her feelings for Freddie, Barbara was under no illusion about his sexuality. Like Mary before her, Barbara loved and supported the star and, in this case, provided even more vital and personal help to the men’s relationship.

Freestone said: "it was sometimes comical to watch the arguments happening... Both Freddie and Winnie would be screaming at Barbara who had to do her best to try to sort out the jumbled emotions."

It was an intense period in Freddie's life but the star was beginning to feel homesick and Mary had finally completed all the renovations to his new London house, One Garden Lodge, in Kensington.

The tumultuous relationship with Winnie was fizzling out and a new man from London, Jim Hutton, was on the scene. Freddie never actually moved into the flat he bought with Barbara and returned to the UK. Although he split up with Winnie, Freddie remained close to Barbara for the rest of his life and she flew over to see him one last time in 1990.

In September 1990, Freddie threw his last ever birthday bash, a very smart formal dinner. The following year he would be far too ill.

His close friend Dave Clarke, who was the man by his side when he died, recalled a very intimate night, filled with those Freddie loved most, including Barbara, who sat either side of him with Mary.

Clarke said: "On his last birthday, he just invited 30 of his closest friends and there were 30 different courses, done by his personal chef, Joe Fanelli, and 30 different types of wine to go with each course."

Freddie died the following November. Barbara herself passed away from a stroke on February 22, 2002.

By STEFAN KYRIAZIS.

*****

Just like Mary, this is making Barbra look like a saint when she wasn't either. She was weirdly possessive of Freddie. She wanted to rekindle the spotlight she had that was dimming out and she used Freddie.

Wayne Sleep, believing that both Freddie and Barbra slept together, reinforces that Freddie didn’t care about the consequences of his illness because he cared more about sex than people’s welfare, and was happy to risk spreading AIDS onto someone for the sake of a quick fix. Which we all know that's is not true. Freddie cared about others, especially the ones that betrayed and hurt him. While Freddie and Barbra were close they were not intimate with each other or screwed around.

Barbra was NOT a friend towards Freddie she made lies after lies about Freddie. Leaking stories to the German press that she and Freddie we're lovers and secretly engaged, claimed that Freddie was "abusive and pushed her head in a sink making her manager trying to get Freddie off of her", said he was pretending to be gay for clout and intentionally spreading AIDS to whoever he slept with.

Which Freddie learned about what she did and cut off the friendship with her. It's reasons why Brian absolutely despised her.

I'm surprised here it didn't talk about Freddie's funeral, by saying Barbra attended the funeral, while she wasn't. She was completely banned from attending by Jim and Mary after what she did to Freddie.

I mean, it’s the same bullshit we’ve seen for the past 30 years. “Oh yeah he was gay BUT he was in love with a woman” is not how it works, everyone knows that’s not how it works, but homophobes are somewhat more comfortable with Freddie fucking men if they think it was only ever sex with them and that his heart always belonged to women. Of course, the article intentionally leaves out quotes where Freddie’s friends, including Phoebe, confirmed that they never had sex. As you said, it also excludes that Barbara lied about Freddie and their relationship while he was alive, prompting him to distance himself from her, and she only doubled down once he was dead because she was a freak who used his name for clout and couldn’t cope with the fact that he’d never return her feelings.

She definitely wasn’t a real friend to him. Real friends don’t tell awful lies to the press like that, and they aren’t possessive, either. It seems like she was both possessive and pretty manipulative of Freddie, but people are fine with all of that as long as they could pretend Freddie felt romance for women to satisfy their homophobic butthurt feelings. Brian hates her and Roger said she was a bad influence on Freddie—there is no reason to defend this woman and repeat her lies.

And of course the article mentions Mary, too. There’s quite the overlap between Mary stans and Barbara defenders, because both wish Freddie wasn’t as gay as he was. It’s pathetic that articles like this are still published in the 2020s.

[queenshelby]

The Last Semester – Part 21

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Words: 1,856

Warning: Pregnancy, Angst

A week had passed since Cillian found out about the pregnancy and he had been nothing but gentle, helpful and responsive since. Every day, he asked you how you were feeling. He brought you prenatal vitamins and constantly reminded you to drink enough water. He even risked a black eye on several occasions when running into your father who was struggling with the situation and has refused to speak to Cillian again. He was furious and blamed him for everything, thinking that he should have been the responsible adult.

You weren’t sure whether Cillian did all this simply for the fact that you were pregnant or whether he wanted to get back together with you and, whilst you hoped that the latter was true, you wouldn’t make it so easy for him this time around. He had to fight for you if you were what he wanted.

You loved him, but part of the trust you had built throughout your relationship had faded after he pulled away from you for the second time when he faced what you thought were just a few small hurdles. What you didn’t know was that, in fact, the hurdles he was facing, weren’t so small at all. He was deeply conflicted and being with you could cost him much more than his friendship with your father. It could also cost him his career and this was something he began to slowly realise.

***

It was a Sunday afternoon and Cillian was waiting for Nadine, his ex-wife, to pick up the boys from his home.

As usual, she was late and his sons were getting frustrated having to wait around for her once again.

‘This sucks dad’ Charlie growled, causing Cillian to calm him down whilst, deep down inside, he hoped that Nadine would arrive soon as he had invited you over for dinner that evening and, the last thing he wanted, was having you and Nadine in the same room together

Until recently, Nadine had again broken court orders, withholding contact to the boys on several occasions. If it wasn’t for the fact that Charlie had his own mobile phone, Cillian wouldn’t have been able to communicate with them at all for weeks.

It was like a game to her. Whenever Cillian was even remotely happy with someone else, she would come out to play and he soon regretted having given her another chance earlier that year before he took the teaching position in London.

When she found out about you, all hell broke loose. She felt humiliated and embarrassed especially knowing that her attempts to get him back were futile.

And the worst of it all was that she knew about you for a very long time, using you as leverage against Cillian until he finally gave up and let you go.

It was that night, when he called you, breaking up with you when he found out that you were his friend’s daughter, that he slipped. He slipped with Nadine because she was there to pick up the pieces when he was at his worst.

Whilst this little hiccup didn’t result in anything more than a few kisses, it was a mistake and he knew that it was a mistake. The worst of it all was that it gave Nadine hope in a situation where there was none. After all, he loved you and not her.

Of course, Nadine was willing and able to use this against Cillian. She had already threatened him on many occasions to make public the many façades of their marriage and how he chose a young girl over the mother of his children.

This was exactly what his agent was worried about. He knew Nadine for many years and he knew about the skeletons in Cillian’s closet and, whilst there weren’t many, they could become quite scandalous.

Being with you and loving you was too difficult. It was an against all the odds type of situation. A twenty-year age gap was hardly going to be successful. Was he going to risk everything to simply give it a try?

***

Finally, at 6 o’clock, Nadine’s car pulled up in Cillian’s driveway and she quickly jumped out of her seat and ran towards the front door.

‘I am sorry I am late. I got caught up with a friend’ she said in a haste.

‘You could have called’ Cillian then said before allowing her inside.

‘Why, do you have a date?’ she then chuckled, causing Cillian to sigh and call out for the boys.

Just as they emerged from their bedrooms, you also pulled up in the driveway and Cillian immediately knew that this would be problematic.

You noticed Nadine’s car but walked towards the front door of the house anyway and Cillian was quick to let you in after giving you a polite kiss on your cheek.

‘Hey’ you said, greeting Nadine who didn’t bother to say anything to you but, instead, roll her eyes.

‘What is she doing here?’ Nadine then asked Cillian, ignoring your presence.

‘I invited her. Why?’ Cillian asked somewhat annoyed and Nadine immediately huffed in disapproval.

‘I don’t want her to spend time with my children. It sends the wrong message to them’ Nadine explained.

‘And what message may that be Nadine?’ Cillian asked rather irritated before Nadine escalated the situation and, once again, insulted you.

‘You think it’s a good idea to show the boys that this is ok? Being with someone that much younger who clearly isn’t compatible in any sort of way?’ Nadine then said before Cillian told the boys to wait in the car as he didn’t want them to hear the conversation between him and their mother.

‘Can you not do this in front of the children?’ Cillian asked angrily after the boys left with their Gameboys.

‘Do what? You are the one who is fucking a uni student, not me’ she then shouted and it soon became too much for you to listen to.

‘Hey, listen, I am going to go. This is awkward and I don’t want to be in the way, really’ you then said, feeling uncomfortable.

‘Wait on Sweetie. I am not finished’ Nadine said and you turned around at the door, rolling your eyes at her as you did.

‘Did he tell you that, when he visited Dublin a few months ago, he spent time with me? Just the two of us?’ Nadine then asked before telling you how she was very well aware of Cillian’s needs and that you were likely too young and inexperienced for him and he would have realised this by now.

‘Nadine, that’s enough!’ Cillian growled, interrupting Nadine as she went on.

‘I am going’ you then huffed out, irritated and upset. She was taking it too far and you didn’t need this in your life.

‘Y/N, hold on’ Cillian said, trying to hold you back but you shook your head and left. You didn’t want to deal with this.

‘Just remember what I have against you Cillian. Surely, if this becomes public, Y/N might get some ideas. Poor thing, so young and innocent. Also, the boys are staying with me for the next two weeks’ Nadine chuckled somewhat amused.

‘Fuck this, Nadine. I have had enough of this crap. Fucking do it, eh! Send it to the fucking paper just as you have threatened for years. I no longer give a shit and in so far as the boys are concerned, I will be in contact with my lawyer tomorrow. A fit and proper person doesn’t use their children as leverage. Fucking wake up, would you’ Cillian growled before storming outside with the boys’ backpacks and putting them into Nadine’s car before giving each of them a hug and saying goodbye to them.

‘Love you guys, see you on Wednesday’ he said with a warm smile before getting into his own car with the view to drive after you to apologise about Nadine’s behaviour and having you get caught up in this.

***

As expected, just before Cillian arrived at your house, he received a call from his agent Brian who was clearly upset and annoyed.

‘We have a problem Cillian’ he said with an almost terrified voice.

‘I know. Her name is Nadine’ Cillian chuckled.

‘I have seen it. Just then. She sent it to me via email’ Brian said concerned.

‘Did you enjoy it?’ Cillian laughed.

‘You need to take this seriously Cillian. Nadine also told me that you are back with the girl’ Brian then said.

‘She held this against me for fucking years and I played along for the boys’ sake, but I can’t keep going like this’ Cillian then explained, causing Brian to sigh.

‘This and the fact that you are with a 20 fucking something year old who also happens to be your friend’s daughter is a fucking disaster mate. You need to break it off’ Brian argued.

‘She is pregnant’ Cillian then said, knowing that this would annoy Brian even more.

‘You are fucking kidding me. Fuck mate. For your career’s sake you need end it with this girl quietly, pay her, get her to sign an NDA’ Brian explained.

‘No Brian, I won’t be doing any of these things. Let me tell you something. I married Nadine because she was pregnant with Charlie. I never loved her. I simply did what others told me was the right fucking thing to do. This is probably why our relationship was so messed up. I was about to do this again, listening to what others tell me is right or wrong and what is good for me. Listening to you, to Nadine, John and my mother. But, luckily, this time, I just came to my fucking senses’ Cillian said just before he pulled up in front of your apartment building.

‘She is twenty years younger than you, what do you think will happen in twenty years? Will she still be around? Will she be worth all this?’ Brian then asked somewhat upset.  

‘I don’t know, but I am keen to find out’ Cillian said as turned off the car.

‘This could be career suicide Cillian’ Brian said.

‘Perhaps. So, I suggest that you work hard for your commission while you still can and use these connections of yours to make publication of what Nadine has sent you hurt as little as possible’ Cillian chuckled.

‘It’s a sex tape Cillian. What the fuck do you want me to do about it? Censor it?’ Brian asked.

‘If you do, keep the good parts, eh? I need to go’ Cillian said.

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[faerienextdoor]

general relationship hcs with (some) pastas

Fair warning, I'm using and hinting at mine and my friends’ writing for these creeps :) enjoy  also as soon as i figure out how to open an ask box, I’ll be accepting requests

Brian:

- oh where to start with this absolute himbo

- he melts around you. like he's your bitch, and you're his.

- he's the type of boyfriend that takes you out in the snow and shoves a handful down the back of your jacket, and laughs until you shove snow in his face

- it is snow war

- it ends with you cuddling him, wrapped in a blanket and content in front of the burning fire he got started just for you <3

- but he also has some weird... habits.

- drinks pickle juice.

- gets his hand stuck in the jar.

- looks at you like 🥺 until you sigh and help him. for the fifteenth time.

- he can cook some basic breakfast foods, and happily breaks out a cookbook to prepare you something as a surprise or to learn something with you!!

- baking with him would be a mess. he forgets flour goes everywhere and now you both look like you took a bath in cocaine

- but the cupcakes are mediocre at best. they aren't absolute garbage, so... cupcake points!

- he worries about how hoodie treats you. he doesn't remember anything when he regains control, but you've reassured him hoodie is just fine.

- and he is

(hoodie)

- hoodie is like a rottweiler or a doberman.

- protective. intimidating. energetic.

- but also a giant fucking baby.

- this large ass man lumbers over and drops to his knees. places his chin on your lap and stares at you from the fabric of his mask until you stop what you're doing and stroke his head awkwardly

- you could swear he does those happy grumbled a rottie does.

- hoodie is silent but shows he loves you just as much as brian does. He strokes your hair silently, even places a kiss to the crown of your head as you sink into his beefy arms.

- he smells nice too. surprisingly.

- but that raises the question: if hoodie showers, does he shower with that damn thing on?

- you won't get an answer if you were to ask.

- brian introduces you to his grandma julia. and she dotes on you.

- the immortal old lady remarks that you’re the best s/o brian has brought to her yet.

Tim:

- a lumberjack man with biceps like a fucking tree trunk

- how'd you land him? give me your secrets (/j)

- he's such a love bug. a tired stressed love bug.

- he finds /every/ excuse to have physical contact with you. it's like a little touch from you reassures him that you're real. you're like a dream to him.

- he's the best for cuddles. He holds you to his chest

- and you get special access to his moobs

- and he gently strokes your head, traces shapes into your back, etc. it's a special intimate moment each time.

- my man's is italian-american but can't cook to save his fucken life

- he always gets your favorite microwave meals though!! he never forgets.

- not feeling good? dw baby he's making it for you <33 shitty low tier bean and cheese burrito coming up

- slowly he learns the basics and surprises you with lunch or even dinner if you're lucky!!

- he loves you so much. and wants you to feel it and know it. all the time.

(masky)

- god where to start with this bitch

- he's not jeff levels of bad ofc, but he's silent and... weird. creepy, some may say. he doesn't mean to be.

- and he's a hard ass. far more strict than tim.

- he follows you around like a giant fucken puppy and will spook you by grabbing you abruptly and holding you tightly

- you can't escape him. he really utilizes his physical strength

- he loves lifting you up and just... holding you. or carrying you off.

- protective and overbearing.

- but tim keeps him under control.

(angst)

- he wouldn't want to lose you like he lost his last wife.

- you find pictures of a woman laying around and a small girl that bears a striking resemblance to her and tim.

- tim goes quiet and questioned but eventually caves and tells you about his family

- or what he used to have

- his wife died and his daughter disappeared.

- it broke him and you're all he has left now

- constantly needs your affection in return to his own

- pls love him

jeff:

- why the fuck would you date him

- he's the absolute worst in so many aspects. But he genuinely tries for you.

- even if his gifts are shitty, it's nice to know he thoughts of you, right? even if it's a half dead flower or a rib torn from a deer caraccas.

- but you get the butt end of his shithead antics. ranch bath, specifically. he smelt like spoiled milk for a week after and you had to cuddle that fucker.

- and don't get me started on mayo bath

- but he still loves finding himself in your arms. or finding you in his. he's demanding affection wise, and will yank you into him for some cuddles. whether you like it or not.

- he isn't one for a lot of pet names, but calls you curse words or "sweetheart" in polish.

- and you get to see the side of him that only shows when he breaks down.

(bit of angst)

- he misses his family and the life he used to have. he'll reminisce what it was like in poland with his mom and family with you, and you sometimes swear you can see his brown eyes gloss over at the memory of her.

- he never talks about his dad, you've noticed.

- don't ask.

- he brushes off heavy conversations with some dumb quip ("wanna see my renegade?")

- he sucks at cooking. god awful at it. but he really tries for you. manages a bowl of oat meal that's edible.

- but he overloads it with sugar and for some reason, salt.

- he's confused. he thinks that's normal (it isn't)

- his idea of a date is napping with you. or rather, forcing you into nap time.

- I mean it when I say this man is strong in a weird fucken way. latches onto you with that iron grip and you won't be able to leave for at least a few hours.

jane:

- ethereal wlw woman.

- could break you with her heels. or a flutter of what eyelashes she has.

- you're lucky to have her, and she's just as lucky to have you!

- she's sweet and charming. very smooth and takes good care of you.

- her love language is a mix of physical touch and acts of service.

- she'll cuddle you all night, and then make you breakfast in the morning.

- she loves showering with you when she's comfy enough around you! it's super intimate and she washes your hair.

- massages the soap into your hair, suds spilling down your neck and back as her fingers scrub circles into your scalp.

- it's heaven on earth. such a domestic life.

- it'll take a while for her to settle enough in the relationship for you to see her without her mask

- you make her feel so loved and wanted

- secure, even.

- she's protective but not controlling or overbearing. shes that type of girlfriend that's just a worrywart and relaxes as soon as you're curled up in her arms. you fit there perfectly, too. like you belong there.

- which you do. at least in her mind

- she has such a gentle touch and hold on you. like she's afraid you'll combust in her arms if she holds you too tightly.

- she loves stroking your hair and having you nap

- using her tiddies as a pillow 👌

(angst)

- she needs affirmation from you when it comes to her scars.

- she thinks that jeff ruined her. permanently marking her once spotless body.

- and she thinks you'll hate her or find her disgusting.

- that's why she freezes if/when you gently slip off her mask.

- she stares at you with those teary green eyes. then leans in and kisses you

- you make all of her worries disappear.

- she's also financially comfortable, but not really rich (on that topic: eat the rich)

- she spoils you every chance she gets. gifts, a nice dinner date, you name it

- she almost spoils you as much as she does her cat Emory

- little shit has the sparkliest fucken collar and acts like he's the shit

- he's your fur baby too now

Helen:

- oh my god this disaster of an art boi

- he's convinced he's the luckiest man in the world (and he might as well be!!)

- he obviously wouldn't have been the one to confess. but it was really obvious by how he painted and drew you constantly, that some feeling for you was lodged into his beating heart.

- he treats you like the finest china. with the most care a man can manage.

- he's the definition of clingy and affectionate from the very start.

- he curls around your sleeping form perfectly when y'all cuddle.

- his hand dances in your hair, soothing you into a dreamless sleep each night without fail.

- he has a magic touch and a gentle voice.

- and he cherishes you so fucken much. (like a simp /j)

- he shies away from kisses at first, but will hold your hand and melts if you hold his face in them!!!

- he's greek, and often speaks sweet things to you in it. he's so comfortable around you that he speaks in his native language to you. that's an accomplishment.

- he loves when you baby him. helen loves being cradled and loved.

- taking a nap with his head on your chest also hits different. he's so in love with you

(angst)

- he's afraid of losing you. who wouldn't be? you're amazing and you love /him/ of all people

- he thinks very negatively of himself. please scold him for self deprecating.

- he always worries he'll wake up and you'll be gone.

- so he holds you extra close at night. and follows you around when you leave for any reason. Trails behind you like a lost puppy in need of a gentle kiss.

- which, is what he essentially is

- and also: pls steal his sweater and wear it. he'll cry over how cute you are.

[pinkflamingcreatures]

“Videodrome” and Humanity’s Technological Evolution

I think that massive doses of Videodrome signal will ultimately create a new outgrowth of the brain that will produce and control hallucination to the point that it will change human reality. After all, there is nothing real outside of our perception of reality, is there?

In 2020, many people saw their daily activities rapidly shift from in person to, suddenly, being mediated by a screen: not only meetings with coworkers, but holidays, education, concerts and even grocery shopping. This has been shocking to many, and it should be, since it represents a new way of interacting with the world being grafted onto humanity, almost like a brand new digital organ. A decade ago, you could get along fine without a cellphone, but now, everything from our friendships to our money seems to be moving towards the technological. These frightening observations may seem better suited to a science fiction novel, but they have been around much longer than the iPhone: I found them at the forefront of David Cronenberg’s Videodrome (1983)!

Videodrome is a movie about augmenting our humanity and our reality using technology. Sound familiar? This film came out almost forty years ago, and it shows - the accepted medium for sharing videos is VHS - yet it still has much to say about the age of the internet, and our relationships with our devices. The audience follows Max Renn, the CEO of a small, smutty television station, as he searches for new, shocking programs to air that will attract viewers. With the help of a “pirate” (no, this isn’t thepiratebay) who uses a satellite dish to lock onto and record television broadcasts from all over the world, Renn becomes familiar with a show called “Videodrome”: a plotless exhibition of torture and muder. 

What is unclear, and here is where Videodrome becomes conceptually fascinating, is whether or not the depictions of death in this program are simulated or not, and whether or not this matters. Renn is advised to seek out Professor Brian O’Blivion about his inquiries into Videodrome, and finds that the man only appears on television - never in person. O’Blivion’s daughter gives Renn a VHS tape to watch in which the professor pontificates thus: “The television screen is the retina of the mind’s eye. Therefore, the television is part of the physical structure of the brain. Therefore, whatever appears on the television screen emerges as raw experience for those who watch it. Therefore, television is reality. And reality is less than television.” Renn scoffs at these statements, as many audience members might, yet this line of reasoning is both provocative and valid. 

What is experienced by characters in television programs is experienced vicariously by viewers, although differently. This fact creates within viewers a novel and unique reality that exists both on the screen and within their minds. This concept isn’t specific to television; books can have a similar effect, but we interact with words on a page much differently than we do real-life images on a screen. Hearing people speak, seeing them smile, watching them die, all have a much heightened level of reality in comparison with staring at text. But to what extent is Professor O’Blivion correct when he says that television is more real than reality?

Technology allows its users to exercise a heightened level of control over their own identities. It is revealed that Professor O’Blivion is dead, and has been for almost a year, but he lives on through his tapes. He still makes television appearances, and has conversations with people. His daughter remarks that “at the end he was convinced that public life on television was more real than private life in the flesh.” O’Blivion died of a brain tumor, that he claimed were caused by “video hallucinations” - a product of watching Videodrome. Max is informed that, since he has seen Videodrome, he is also growing a brain tumor caused by his hallucinations. These visions are what allow Brian O’Blivion to communicate directly with Max - he refers to him by name, and advises him on his specific problem. He has literally been able to transfer his being to the television realm, and continue to exist beyond death. 

The internet does not allow us to exert this amount of control over our existences - not yet, that is - but people are able to present certain sides of themselves online that they may not show in person. The television show Catfish brought this particular trend to the public’s attention: there are plenty of people out there that are manipulating their internet presences, and sometimes straight-up lying about who they are, all while creating relationships with people who are ignorant of the “truth.” This is where Professor O’Blivion would tell us that other people’s perceptions of a fabricated identity online were just as real as a person in the flesh. Most people don’t abide by this logic, and are hurt when they feel that others are lying to them; O’Blivion’s perspective points to a new era of humanity that would exist entirely within screens, and be dominated by hallucinations. In other words, this new existence would allow humans to control what they saw, and how others saw them: controlled hallucinations, or, simply a manipulation of reality.

When reality is this malleable, there enters the concern of who is in control? Brian O’Blivion’s old business partners who sabotaged him enter the narrative as the antagonists, who have an evil scheme to use Videodrome as a destructive force. Of course, this is Cronenberg, and with augmented reality comes augmented physicality; Max Renn is able to open up his stomach and store things inside of himself, additionally allowing VHS tapes to be inserted in him like a video player, controlling his actions. “They can program you. They can play you like a video-tape recorder,” O’Blivion’s daughter (Bianca) tells Renn. Luckily, Bianca is able to help Max de-program himself (in an awesome scene where a television screen literally mirrors his torso), giving him a new objective and catchy tagline: “Death to Videodrome. Love live the new flesh!”

Renn’s triumph over those who would wish to make a robot assassin out of him is an encouraging look at the new age for the modern viewer. Things aren’t as cut in dry in a world where physical media has become virtually obsolete. How can I know if I’m being controlled by my devices, and to what end? To what extent have my devices become an outgrowth of myself, in the same way that video hallucinations cause brain outgrowths in Videodrome? As we spend more and more time interacting with screens, it may become necessary to step back and ask ourselves where this relationship is headed, and whether or not it’s positive. Brian O’Blivion was incredibly optimistic about “the next phase of man as a technological animal,” that is, until the wrong people took over for the wrong reasons. Maybe the question we should be asking in addition to “Do I want to see human evolution continue down this path?” is “Who is in control of this path, and why?”

[knives-out20]

The Impact Of The Intergalactic - David Bowie Opinion Essay - by Beck S.

This is an essay I wrote about the span of David Bowie's career. I wrote it for a summer school course I took last year (August 2021) for a course called History of Rock & Roll.

My teacher gave nice feedback after he marked it, talking about how it was an "Excellent paper. It charts Bowie's progress throughout his career well, and includes significant detail. I could really feel the passion you have about him throughout. In fact, there is *too much* detail! The paper was supposed to be 3 pages max, double-spaced. Still, this is a good problem to have; better too much than too little."

So...enjoy!!

From his early works like Hunky Dory, to Black Tie White Noise in the 1990’s and stretching over to Blackstar as his final album, David Bowie has rarely had a bad album or song- in my opinion. His career has had ups and downs, his musical creations ranging in the way he would pitch his voice and what instruments he would use, the people he would produce with, and the wild things he would say. Charting David Bowie’s development over time is in fact an interesting journey.

Early on in his dreamy career, Bowie would have done nearly anything- or in fact, anyone- to grow in the music world. Hopping from band to band (like The Velvet Underground), producer to producer, doing whatever he could do to get ‘in’ in the industry. His early albums weren’t taken very highly in their times- especially with the ‘man-dress’ he wore on the British release of his The Man Who Sold The World album. Although, this dress was only the start of the androgynous appearance he would soon be known for, over the course of his 5-decade-spanning career.

The 1970’s were strange, to say the least. He married Angela Bowie at the start of the decade, then welcomed their son Duncan Zowie Haywood Jones a year later. Bowie went on to be hopped up on cocaine. David donned the look of one of his famous personas, The Thin White Duke. The same persona with slicked-back ginger hair, a white button-up under a black waistcoat and paired with black dress pants. The same Duke who called Adolf Hitler one of the first ‘rock stars’ and gave off a lot of faschist energy. He said many statements he’d later apologize for and grow as a better man from, which is good- it’s better than standing by then, or even backing himself up and supporting them. David Bowie called that period the darkest days of his life, and blamed the crazy statements on his horrid addiction and deteriorating mental state. The late 1970’s were more favorable, seeing as it gave the world what was dubbed the Berlin Trilogy alongside Brian Eno and David’s personal friend, Iggy Pop. Made up of three of his albums: Low and Heroes (both in 1977) and Lodger (1978). He moved from Los Angeles to Switzerland, then to Berlin as a further decision to escape his addiction (the reason he moved away from LA in the first place). It was in Berlin, of course, where he wrote his famous song Heroes, about two lovers, one from East Berlin and one from West.

Speaking of Berlin, David Bowie performed near the west of the Berlin Wall in 1987; he played so loud that crowds gathered on the east to listen. At this time, Bowie had no idea he would be the beginning of the city’s soon-coming unifying. After his death in 2016, the German government thanked him for bringing the wall down and unifying a divided Germany.

Music isn’t all he is known for, though it is a majority. He also starred in movies from time to time. Being the titular man in The Man Who Fell To Earth in 1976, Jareth the moody goblin king in Jim Henson’s 1986 Labyrinth film (what is most likely his most famous role), Monte the barman in the 1991 movie The Linguini Incident, cameoing as himself in Zoolander (2001), Nikola Tesla in the 2006 movie The Prestige, and even Lord Royal Highness in Spongebob Squarepants’ Atlantis Squarepantis in 2007, among a few others. David Bowie dabbled in the art of acting, and was not that bad at it. He was good enough to gain a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, too. Sometimes it bends my mind that my first introduction to my all-time favourite musician was in a Spongebob Squarepants movie, back before I knew who he was, but David Bowie was never one to shy away from foreshadowing. At least one song from many of his albums would hint at the direction he’d go in for his next release. For example, his track Queen Bitch on Hunky Dory foreshadowed his soon-coming Ziggy Stardust. And the Diamond Dogs track 1984 actually hinted at the Philadelphian soul of Young Americans, which is a more famous song of his, which he went on to perform on The Cher Show with its host.

The 1990’s were certainly an experimental time for David Bowie. But to my knowledge, I think the 1990’s was a time for everyone. He married supermodel Iman some days after performing at the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert, and released the album I named earlier, Black Tie White Noise. It is known to have had a prominent use of electronic instruments, as was his other 1990’s album, Earthling. The early 1990’s greeted David’s first real band since the Spiders From Mars, dubbed Tin Machine. They recorded three guitar-driven albums which received mixed reviews from the masses, but Bowie looks back at this period- as do I- with a certain fondness; “a glorious disaster” he called it, when talking to journalist Mick Brown. Tin Machine is a period I don’t listen to often, compared to his solo stuff, but I don’t press the skip button when it comes on.

Alas, the starman’s career drew to a close as the 2000s rolled in. David Bowie greeted the 2000’s with the birth of his and Iman’s daughter, the beautiful Alexandria Zahra Jones. After suffering a- strange, as it were- heart attack symptoms mid-song during a concert in 2004, he took a hiatus from his career. I say strange because given what I know, he was trying his best to stay healthy at the time. According to my special Rolling Stone edition magazine about David Bowie (released at the start of this year), he was on tour and performing in a really hot arena. But Bowie was sober, and had quit smoking. He was taking medication to lower his cholesterol, and worked out with a trainer. Bowie looked great, and yet he felt a pain in his shoulder and chest, along with a shortness for breath. A bodyguard rushed onstage to usher Bowie off of it, cutting the concert short. He only performed live once or twice after that point, but was set on never going live ever again. And he kept his word on that, unfortunately but also fortunately. Unfortunately, because David Bowie live would have been quite the experience- I wouldn’t know, personally. But fortunately, because I do not believe anyone needs a repeat of the 2004 Reality scare.

I am actually not too fond of speaking of his final years. Nobody really likes to speak of the last years of their idols’ life before their death, so it’s no surprise. Blackstar was David Bowie’s 25th and final album, recorded entirely in secret in New York alongside his long-time producer, Tony Visconti. The album's central theme lyrically is mortality, and seeing as Bowie was undergoing chemotherapy for his cancer at the time, I see it as his way of coping with his incoming death. His producer Tony Visconti called him a ‘canny bastard’, when he realized Bowie was essentially writing a farewell album. Every song on the album is what is considered a swan song, a swan song in question being a phrase for a final gesture of some sort before retirement or death. In this case, death. Over the course of recording the album, David Bowie’s chemotherapy had actually been working and he had an eerie optimism while recording. But by the time they shot the two music videos Blackstar and Lazarus, where he showed off the definite passage of time and cruelty of chemotherapy through sparse and gray hair with sagging skin, he knew his condition was terminal and that this would be a battle he would lose. Blackstar wasn’t the first album to have been made by a musician succumbing to a fatal illness, but in my opinion it is in fact the most beautiful. It’s jazzy, and elegant, showing how at peace he had become with dying.

Blackstar the album was released on January 8th, 2016. Also known as David Bowie’s 69th birthday. Two days later, David Bowie died at his Lafayette Street home on January 10th after living with liver cancer for up to 18 months. Beforehand, he had let it be known he did not want a funeral nor a burial, but rather that his body be cremated and the ashes to be scattered in Bali by his loved ones. His wish was received, and planet Earth was very much bluer and quieter without his colour and wonderful noise.

As I said earlier on, David Bowie’s career came with ups and downs. His mysteriously close relationship with Mick Jagger, his cross with famous underage groupie Lori Maddox, the births of his two talented children, his faschist bender in the 70’s, and final bang of Blackstar in his final year on earth. Through the highs and lows, his career and his music meant a lot to the quote-unquote misfits and freaks of the world, myself included. David Bowie turned and faced the strange, shouted “you’re not alone!” To those who felt the loneliest, he surely spent his career helping those who needed to be themselves, feel more freer and braver in doing so, no matter what they may be when they are themselves. He never went boring, he never went stale, he sang what he wanted and dressed how he pleased, and kept to his word on how much more to life there is when you’re just that; yourself. A year after David Bowie’s untimely passing, his son Duncan Jones accepted an award for British album of the year that was won by Blackstar at the 37th annual Brit Awards. When he accepted it, he made a speech about his father that I will leave here, and never forget. Seeing as it perfectly encapsulates David Bowie’ legacy, and the true meaning of his extraordinary career.

“I lost my dad last year, but I also became a dad. And, uhm, I was spending a lot of time- after getting over the shock- of trying to work out what would I want my son to know about his granddad? And I think it would be the same thing that most of my dad's fans have taken over the last 50 years. That he’s always been there supporting people who think they’re a little bit weird or a little bit strange, a little bit different, and he’s always been there for them. So...this award is for all the kooks, and all the people who make the kooks. Thanks, Brits, and thanks to his fans.” - Duncan Z. H. Jones (February 22 2017, at The O2 Arena in London.)

[mirkwoodshewolf]

The trial begins; Roger Taylor x reader x oc male

*Author’s note*

Well it’s been a LOOOOOONG time since I did a Rock Angel update but I finally got the time to do it and finally finish the DARKEST chapter of the Rock Angel’s life. So everything from here on out will be either PURE FLUFF OR PURE ANGST. Now I did my best to research actual court trial procedures plus using my brief knowledge of the justice system from a couple classes I took back in college but if there’s anything I got wrong and you’re actually studying court system/law enforcement PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLLLEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSE LET. ME. KNOW.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things​

@waddles03​

@psychosupernatural​

@ixchel-9275​

@simonedk​

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​

@queensdivas​

@queendeakyy​

@geek-and-proud​

@wormzteef​

@queen-paladin​

@starswin​

@isabella-bby​

@5sos-wdw​

@bohemiansweede​

@onebigfangirlworld​

@ssa-sadboi​

@naturalswifty89​

@labessieisallama​

___________________________________________________________

Six months of physical rehab, a year of therapy, and 2 surgeries later, I was finally able to get back to some normalcy.  Of course the nightmares were frequent every night and of course the kids, especially Kelly, suffered a great deal of it as well.

During my rehabilitation in physical therapy, I had done a court case against James Woods for unprofessional hiring and neglect of care for his client’s safety and managed to sue his ass for over $275,000. Not only that but Hollywood Records fired his arse and once his name became public, no record company wanted to do business with him ever again.

But of course the main trail against Steve was still to come. Due to the restrictions of his uncle no longer able to help him out anymore, Steve’s bail money was set for $75,000.  And since no one could afford to bail him out, Steve remained in prison until the trial date set for March 19th.

I was currently sitting on a tire swing in the barn at mom’s and Misha’s place.  Since the news were running my story everywhere, Jack thought it best to keep us and the kids away from the city press so we went to his parent’s farm to hide away from the stress. The sky was cloudy and it was slightly chilly out today but I barely acknowledged it due to my nerves as the trial date was drawing near. I soon felt a jacket come around my shoulders and a soft voice said.

“Reminds me of when you rain out during that rainstorm when Prenter revealed your secret to us.”

“I’d feel a lot better if you didn’t mention that arsehole’s name right now dad.”

“You’re right I’m sorry. But hey be thankful this time you’re in a barn and not out in the pouring rain. After that day you got sick for 4 days.”

“Yeah. And you and Deacy were there to take care of me the entire time. Hell you skipped an entire rehearsal to take care of me.”

“You’re my daughter (n/n). I’ll always be there to take care of you. Even when you don’t want me to.” He said as he leaned up against the tire swing and swayed us from side to side.

Since being released from the hospital, while Deacy went home to tell Ronnie and the rest of the kids I was fine, and Brian had to go back for his solo tour, Roger elected to stay with me and the rest of the family to help take care of us.  

He called Dominque and his side chic of his decision to stay with me till the trail was over and the two women accepted his decision (which was a shocker on Debbie’s part. I knew Dominque understood).

“What’s going on in that head of yours lovey?” he asked me. He stopped the swaying and came in front of me, his hands holding onto the rope.

“I’m terrified dad.” I admitted.  “With the court date—I know I’m going to have to face him and it—fucking terrifies me. You know he’s gonna be looking at me the entire time. But I can’t just abandon the trial, otherwise he’ll walk free with hardly a sentence.” He sighed deeply.

“I know this isn’t easy for you. Hell if it were up to me, I would’ve never allowed it to come this far. I’m your father and I failed to protect you.”

“But you didn’t know dad. In truth it’s really my fault. I should’ve spoken up about this to you and the guys before it escalated it the way it did.”

“Hold it right there. Don’t go blaming yourself now (Y/n). This was in no way your fault.”

“Then it shouldn’t be yours.” He nodded.  “I just……what if I don’t have the strength to stay in the same room as him? Or what if the law gives him a slap on the wrist like they’ve done before?” Roger came around and wrapped an arm around my collar bone, his chin resting on my head as his other hand rubbed my left arm up and down.

“Because unlike before where they couldn’t prove he did those things, the news has proof of his attempted murder of you. Your lawyers have pulled up all the evidence of the additional charges that you and Jack want to charge him with, he can’t win this time. Your prosecutors won’t allow that to happen.”

“I just wish Freddie was here to help me with this.”

“So do I love. So do I. But do you know what he’d tell you right now?” I looked up at him and he looked right at me. “He’d tell you. ‘Buck up darling. You go to that courtroom, look that fucker in the eye. And show him he didn’t win. That he can’t win. For while he may be the Big Bad Wolf, you are the Lioness Queen.’”

Dad hugged me and I placed my hand on his arm that was still wrapped across my collar bone and leaned my head against his chest.

*March 19th, 1994. One hour till court hearing*

Back in New York City; Dad, Jack, and myself had just arrived at the New York airport. Waiting for us was my lawyer Mr. Barnes and the rest of the Prosecuting team.  And of course the media wanted a piece of me before the court hearing.  So Jack and Roger were sandwiching me out of the eyes of the media, while my lawyers were diverting the cameras away from me till we got to the car.

“Mrs. Kline do you have anything to say on behalf of this case!”

“Do you believe Steve Harrison should be given the death penalty?”

“Did you engage any intimate relationships with Mr. Harrison?”

“My client has no comments at this time!” Mr. Barnes stated firmly to the press as Jack quickly guided me inside the car.  Roger came in after him followed by Mr. Barnes and the others.

The driver immediately headed for the courthouse and Mr. Barnes told me.

“Alright so Mrs. Kline. Just to review you are still willingly to make your testimony on the stand, correct?”

“Correct.”

“Now I know you’ve been through a lot and his DA team will try to push your buttons but I must strictly advise you to keep your composure and your temper because if you bat an eye once or raise your voice for any reason, the DA will use that to their advantage.”

“I’ll do my best. Truthfully, I just want this whole mess over with so that I never have to see him again.” Jack took my hand in both of his giving it a comforting squeeze, while dad rubbed my shoulder.

“Understood ma’am.” The rest of the drive was pretty silent until we arrived at the courthouse.

As we entered inside not only were their lawyers, security guards, and various other people there for other trials, the rest of the NYC press was also there.

“THERE SHE IS!!! THE ROCK ANGEL!!!” A female reporter called out.  Once again we were horded by a swarm of cameras and microphones/tape recorders being shoved in our faces.

“My client refuses to speak or make any comments at this time! Now all of you please move back! Can we get security over here!” soon enough police and security made their way through the crowd and tried to back off the vultures.  But New York press people are as tough as they come, when they want something they’ll do anything to get it.

They proved themselves strong and determined to get a word out of me, but I just held my shades over my eyes and kept my head down to avoid any cameras getting a picture of my face.  Finally after what felt like forever, we arrived at the room where my trial was being held.

Already the room was packed with people, the media that was allowed to document this case had their cameras set up and their recorders ready to record what they needed.

My attorneys guided me towards the desk where we would be sitting at while Jack and my dad took their seats in the crowd just two rows behind us.  I sat down inbetween Mr. Barnes and Mr. Wilson, the leading Prosecutor and we all waited for the moment of truth for Steve to arrive.

About 20min. later, the DA team came in and walking in between a very large fat man and a thinner older man with white hair was Steve Harrison. In chains and in that infamous orange jumpsuit.  

When his eyes looked directly at me, I once again saw that empty look in his eyes.  There was just nothing there in those piercing brown eyes of his.  But spreading across his face was a smug grin. It was faint but I could see it clear as day as he kept staring me down.

“Don’t look at him. He’s trying to provoke you.” Mr. Wilson, the Head Prosecutor whispered to me. “Just look at the Judge and block him out.” As the courtroom continued to fill in with people as well as the 12 jurors, I felt my heart beating faster and my palms grew sweater by the second.

“He’s still looking over at me, I can feel it.”

“Again don’t let him get under your skin. I’m told you’re called Mama Lioness for a reason, now let me see that.” Mr. Wilson whispered to me again.  I took a deep breath and recomposed myself. “Atta girl.” He encouraged me.  As 9o’clock struck, the bailiff said.

“All rise for the Honorable Judge Mayweather.” We all stood up and soon coming in was a man around his 50’s, maybe even 60’s, wearing prescription glasses which emphasized his blue eyes.  He was a tall, lean man standing well over 6ft tall.  

“You may now be seated.” He said with a soft but commanding tone as he took his seat at the podium.  We all sat down and he opened the files. “The charges against the defendant Steve Harrison include attempted 1st degree murder, aggravated stalking, and 1st degree kidnapping. How does the defendant plea?”

“Not guilty your honor.” Steve’s obese lawyer proclaimed. Of course he’d plead not guilty.

“Very well. We shall began with the opening statements from each side. Prosecution, you have the floor.”

“Thank you your honor.” Mr. Barnes stated as he stood up. He paced around the front of the courtroom and made his opening statement, “Ladies and gentlemen of the court; Obsession is a dangerous thing. We all feel it. Whether it’s for the next best product, or for someone we want in our lives. And my client has been a victim of one man’s obsession for more than a year and a half. The defendant Steve Harrison not only put her through a living hell but also her entire family. Harassing, assaulting and even kidnapping my client’s eldest child. All for the sake of a delusion he had in his mind. But he had the conscious to know what he was doing was wrong. Mr. Harrison plotted, articulated and chose his methods on how to harm my client and her family and last June he almost achieved his goal when he put those two bullets in her before a live audience.”

“Thank you Mr. Barnes.” Judge Mayweather spoke.  Mr. Barnes came and sat down beside me as the judge continued, “Defense council, you may give your opening statement.” Steve’s lawyer stood up and stood before the court.

“Abuse, fear, and control. My client has dealt with these issues his entire life. His uncle manipulated him into pleasing his every demand for he was the only father-figure he had in his life. My client wanted to do everything to please his uncle’s every demand. But it was not also just his uncle, it was also the so called ‘Rock Angel’ that had seduced him into thinking she actually cared for him.”

Excuse me?! I almost wanted to raise my voice and call Steve’s lawyer out for his accusations but one stern look from Mr. Wilson told me to keep my mouth shut, less I risk making myself look bad before the jury and call this a mistrial.

“Not only that but also the threat’s from the Angel’s husband also caused my client great fear and anxiety. He felt like he needed to defend himself so as we begin this trial I ask you, the jurors to see that it was my client who was forced into committing these acts as a means of protection. Not out of his own desire, but for his own safety. Thank you.” He bowed his head before taking his seat.

“Right then. We shall now begin with the 1st charge of attempted murder. Prosecutor Wilson, do you have your first witness?”

“We do your honor. Prosecution calls Jack Kline to the stand.” Mr. Barnes stated.  Jack stood up from the audience and proceeded towards the stand.  Once he was there, Mr. Wilson held the Holy Bible and held it out to Jack, who then placed his right hand on top of it while raising his left hand in the air.  “Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God?”

“I do.” Jack replied before taking his seat at the stand. It was then Mr. Barnes came up and proceeded with the direct examination.

“Mr. Kline can you tell us what happened prior to the concert shooting last June?”

“My wife (Y/n) was finishing up the last leg of her tour. On March 4th, 1992 we received a letter from Steve Harrison.”

“And what did the letter say?”

“It said a lot of things. About her about me but what really caught our eyes was he wrote and I quote. ‘I’ve had enough of this bullshit. If I can’t have you, no one can. So you better perform with one eye on the audience and one eye on the shadows. I’m going to kill you, you fucking bitch’.”

“And according to you and your cousin Jensen, who was acting as her head security. He tried to harm her, is that true?” Mr. Barnes asked.

“Yes. At her show in Atlanta he snuck in through the screen room and tried to kidnap her.” Mr. Barnes nodded and said to the jury.

“After his arrest in Atlanta, police reports said they found zip-ties, a bottle of chloroform and a 6in steel blade hunting knife. He was detained for only 8 weeks when his bail was made by an anonymous payer.” He turned back to Jack. “What happened the day of the concert at Madison Square Garden?”

At that point I saw Jack tense up.  He shifted uncomfortably before he said.

“My wife was up on stage performing her favorite Queen song, which she made a cover of per Freddie’s request, and just before she ended the song. Steve, in police uniform, came up behind my wife and shot her in the back. As she lay there on the floor he shot her again in the stomach. Then I—” he trailed off as he glared towards Steve who looked at him blankly.

His eyes were just soulless as they stared up at Jack.  While Jack’s eyes were full of hatred.

“I then watched him take her wedding ring right off her finger before smirking at me. Like he was proud that he took my wife’s life and the symbol of her being my wife, my equal.”

“Thank you, nothing further your honor.” Mr. Barnes walked back to his seat.  Now it was Steve’s lawyer’s time to cross examine my husband’s statement.

“You said that Steve wrote you a letter. Directed to both you and your wife is that correct?”

“Yes. Yes he did.”

“Said some crude stuff about you and your wife, correct?”

“Yes. Called her some stuff I’d really rather not stay and do things that no other man should do to her.”

“Objection!” Mr. Barnes exclaimed.

“Overruled.” Judge Mayweather said.

“Ladies and gentlemen I have here in my hand a copy of the letter written by my client. It is a hefty one I give you that but let me direct your attention to page 3, 4th paragraph. My client has written in detail. ‘On Halloween night of 1992, your husband physically beat me and then with no reason at all, sicked your dogs on me. I had to get 25 stitches on my leg and 30 on my right arm.’ Did you order your dogs to attack my client?”

“Only because he broke into my house after he assaulted me first!”

“Ladies and gentlemen I also have here in my hands the police report of that night. Let the record show that my client in no shape or form, physically break into the Rock Angel’s home . The door was wide open, there were no security cameras. So who’s to say that the dogs didn’t attack my client outside of the house?” I looked to the jury and some of them were actually believing what the Defense was saying. “Now Mr. Kline you do realize that dog attacks are a serious offense. Especially according to California law, right?”

“Objection your honor! Steve Harrison still entered the premise illegally by accounts to his restraining order!” Mr. Wilson stated as he stood up.

“That is true. Defense counselor best you alternate your question on that remark.” Take that you son of a bitch.  Steve’s lawyer turned back to Jack and he said.

“But you still confirm that you allowed your dogs to attack my client?”

“Yes. Because your client was about to attack my 6 year old daughter and 2 year old twin sons.”

“Nothing further your honor.” Steve’s lawyer said.  Jack was then allowed to go back to sit beside Roger.

The court continued on and after briefing for a half hour recess, the trial continued and finally I was allowed to take the stand. I swore under oath and my lawyer questioned me.

“Now Mrs. Kline what can you tell us about Steve Harrison when your first met him? Did you at all have anything to do with hiring him?”

“No. His uncle hired him as a favor for his sister, to ensure that Steve finally got himself a job.” I took a pause there thinking back to the day I first met Steve. “At first he seemed like a nice guy. He seemed to know what he was doing so it wasn’t like he was unqualified. He got me to my appointments on time, kept my schedule in check. And remained professional for the first year and a half of being hired.”

“Now you said he remained professional after a year and a half. Care to elaborate on what changed between you two?”

“It was 2 months after the Freddie Mercury tribute concert, the start of summer 1992. I was recording my last album ‘Fly High Mercury’. I barely slept in a week; Steve was there helping me out. We talked about the album, then it transitioned into family talk. As we were talking he started to get a little too close to me, actually even pining me up against the wall of the studio. Next thing I knew, his lips were on mine. He was kissing me without my consent.”

“And as you claim, everything went downhill from there?”

“Yes. The gifts, the constant phone calls, the harassment in the studio. Going off on delusions telling me things like why did I marry Jack Kline? That our kids should’ve been from his sperm. Telling me how in the music industry singers are always cheating on their spouses and I’m no different. That we could have a separate life together while I continue to rise to the top.”

“Which meant you sleeping with him while he helped make your name bigger?”

“Yes. But I refused. Because I’m not like those women who will sleep around to get what she wants. I’ll get it my way through my resources and strengths.” Mr. Barnes nodded at me with a slight grin at the corner of his face.

“Nothing further your honor.”  Now it was the defense attorney’s turn.

“You’ll get through the music industry through your own resources and your own strengths.” He asked in more of a questioning tone as he came up towards me.

“Along with the support and love of my family.” I added.

“Interesting. Mrs. Kline isn’t it true that you first began your career with the help of Queen’s help?”

“Objection your honor! How is this relevant to this case?” Mr. Wilson proclaimed.

“I’ll be getting to that your honor but Mrs. Kline must answer my question.” The greasy, obese man stated as he leaned closer towards my podium.  I could just smell the disgusting cigar breath off his lips.

“Mrs. Kline, please answer the question.” The judge told me to do.

“They—helped me with my confidence in getting in front of an audience. But at the time I had no idea until hours before the show that’s what they were going to be doing.”

“And then afterwards you continued to use Queen’s resources to help you gain the fame you got in just under a year when most artists especially female singers can hardly get to that degree of fame on their own?”

“Objection your honor! He’s badgering the victim!” Mr. Wilson tried to suade the judge but judge Mayweather overruled it.

“I—we did have the same manager. But how is that different in the case when John Reid was managing both Queen and Elton John over 20 years ago?”

“Mr. Russell, I do hope you’re going somewhere with this because at this point you’re starting to try my patience.”

“Your honor this woman claims to use resources and her own strength, when, in fact, she manipulates men into getting what she wants in life. You said that you hadn’t slept in a week when recording the album? As we all know lack of sleep causes delusions and false memories of events. What if you merely imagined that my client tried to kiss you that night in the studio? And then afterwards had become so paranoid that you antagonized my client to be the villain in this court case!”

“I know what happened as clear as day that night in the studio. And I wasn’t imagining what I saw!” I snapped furiously at him.

“Mrs. Kline control your temper or I will have you placed under contempt of court!” Judge Mayweather warned me.

“Nothing further your honor.” Steve’s lawyer spoke before returning to his chair.  I was then called off back to my chair and I brushed my fingers through my hair anxiously.

“Just breathe. Don’t let the jury think they might’ve seen a false allegation in this case.” Mr. Barnes whispered to me.  I took a few deep breaths before recomposing myself.

Finally it was Steve’s turn to take the stand.

His defense team started off by asking pretty much the same questions Mr. Barnes asked me.  How he got the job, what was it like working for me.  And of course Steve tried to paint himself as the victim and I’ll admit he was a damn good actor.  Some of the jury was actually swayed by his performance.

I was petrified that even here in the Supreme Court of New York, Steve Harrison was gonna walk away with a slap on the wrist like he has been for the past 2 years.

For five days the trail continued on the same way, people taking their turn on the stands, each side providing their evidence to the jury with each charge we were doing against Steve.  

On the 6th day it was time for the final claims as well as closing statements.

“Mrs. Kline, can you describe to us the day when your daughter disappeared from school?” Mr. Barnes asked me.

“Well….” I adjusted the microphone in front of me and said. “I was busy planning my next upcoming tour and Jack had to work overtime at the car dealers. But we had asked my cousin in law Jared go pick her up. The school requires a full on sign-in sheet of additional guardians who are allowed to pick up the students in case the parents can’t pick up their students.”

“And you had Mr. Ackles name to that list correct?”

“Yes. Along with his wife, brother, sister in law and my in-laws as well as the remaining members of Queen.”

“And how did you know that Kelly had been taken my Steve?”

“Jared had called me from the school and told me that Kelly had already been picked up by someone and after an hour and a half, that’s when I got the call from Steve himself. Telling me to meet him at Bull Creek.”

“And did at any time did you give Steve Harrison full permission to pick up your daughter?”

“No. None of my Rock Angel team had authorization to go to Kelly’s school.” He then pulled out a file of Steve’s forged note with my signature on it that gave him clearance to pick Kelly up.

“Now as you can see here, I hold in my hand the actual documented note of Mr. Harrison’s forged letter of Pick-Up for one Kelly Kline. Her school codes states, that if there isn’t any documentation of said people to pick up the child in question, they must provide a note signed by the parent themselves in order to pick up the child.”

“Objection!” Steve’s DA proclaimed.

“Overruled.” Judge Mayweather stated.

“Knowing this; Mr. Harrison printed out the letter of documented proof that he had access to pick up Kelly Kline. He then forged Mrs. Kline’s signature as you’ll see up close here.” On the overhead projector he had both my real signature and Steve’s forged signature with my name on it. “Now as you can see it’s practically identical. But if you look very closely there is a difference.” He then put a magnifying glass up to my last name.  “You’ll notice how she writes the K with a curved slant at the top right line for the K itself. While on Mr. Harrison’s forged signature the corner line is completely straight.”

“Objection your honor! Everyone writes their signatures slightly different every time. This shows no proof that my client forged her signature.” Steve’s DA proclaimed.

“If I may your honor before I was interrupted by my assistant council, I have more proof on why this letter was not signed by my client.”

“Proceed.” The judge granted him.  He then removed the two comparisons and pulled up a paper where I was forced to give my signature ten times.  

“As you can see here this is my client’s handwritten signature. Now look at the K’s.” he pulled the magnifying glass up to the top corner line to show each one had that exact same curve.  “Each one of her top corners has that slight curve to them. Ten. Times my client has written her name. And all ten times each K had that curve on the top corner. Not once does she alternate how she curves it, or accidentally do a straight slant. Each. Top. Corner. Is curved.” The jurors all looked at each other, some of them nodding.  “So it proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that Mr. Harrison forged my client’s signature to gain access to her daughter, kidnapping her in order to gain my client’s attention. Forcing her to a remote area where god knows what he could’ve had in mind. But my client isn’t some damsel in distress.” Mr. Barnes turned to look up at me.

“Mrs. Kline you may return to the Prosecutor’s table.” As I stood up and walked down Judge Mayweather called for closing statements. Steve’s DA came up and the fat man stated.

“We all have our obsessions; we all make mistakes. But my client is not insane. He gave Mrs. Kline everything she ever wanted, he kept things professional and it was all due to the paranoia of a celebrity that my client Steve Harrison was bullied, manipulated and forced to take drastic measures to defend himself from the public eye. He is not the villain in this story, he is a victim. And it is up to you, the jury, on who you wish to believe. The money of a celebrity, or the desperate plea of a victim corrupted by the music industry.”

My eyes narrowed at the obese man but I turned my head away as my Prosecutor Mr. Wilson stood up.  The middle aged African American paced the courtroom as he said.

“Celebrities aren’t just about the money. It’s not as easy as we may think it is to get as big as they are. They go through struggles financially, mentally and sometimes physically. Now my client did have help but she had her fair share of struggles. As a young woman in an all-male industry they wanted to change her image, to make her follow the typical female artist crowd of showing too much skin, exploiting themselves. But the Rock Angel refused to let that be her image. And she kept that image strong, but there’s also another risk of being a woman in the spotlight. She’s more likely to attacks. Not because she asks for it because she doesn’t. Steve Harrison saw (Y/n) Kline not as she was trying to be but who she was. A famous person whom he believed belonged to him. He used his uncle’s position as her manager to get close to her, and meticulously planned to worm his way into her life. But when she refused to accept his dominance, he snapped. He stalked, harassed, kidnapped her daughter, and finally attempted to murder him. All because she said the one thing men don’t like a woman to say. No. No she wasn’t going to fall for him, No she wasn’t going to leave her adoring husband and kids for him, No she wouldn’t be his. And Steve Harrison took offense to that. And if he goes free, then what’s to stop other men like him going free that don’t know what the word ‘no’ means?”

Mr. Wilson came back and sat down beside me.  I placed my hand on top of his and he gave me a soft smirk and nod.

“Alright, jurors the decision is all up to you. We’ll reconvene once the jury has reached their verdict.” Soon the 12 jurors left the courtroom as did the rest of us.

Jack, Roger, myself and my legal team were in the court cafeteria drinking some coffee as we waited for the verdict to come in.  Jack and I sat close to each other while Roger sat across from us.  He was currently reading some magazine meanwhile my stomach was tossing and turning.

“Six days and it all comes down to this. God I feel like I’m gonna throw up.”

“Don’t give up just yet baby. With the forged signature and the note they found at his apartment of his plan to shoot you, there’s no way he’s gonna walk scot-free.” He kissed the corner of my lips as we continued to wait.

20 long minutes later and Mr. Barnes’ cellphone rings. He reached in his coat pocket and picks it up.

“Yes?” he straightens himself up. “Yeah. Uh-huh. Alright we’ll be there Sam.” He snaps at us.  “It’s in.” my heart stops as the three of us look at each other and quickly stand up.

Back at the courtroom, everyone is silent as the jurors come back into the room.  The leading female juror, an Asian woman around her mid-40’s held the paper in her hands and handed it to the bailiff.  He walked over to the judge who signed it before giving it back to him. The bailiff walked back to the Asian woman and Judge Mayweather asked.

“What say you?” I held onto Mr. Barnes’ and Mr. Wilson’s hands as tight as I could, my legs were shaking under the desk as I looked at the jury. She looked down at the paper and read out loud.

“In the matter of Steve Harrison vs. New York. We the jury find on the account of attempted 1st degree murder—guilty.” I let out a choked gasp. “On the count of aggravated stalking, we find the defendant……guilty.” At this point tears were pooling under my lashes. “On the count of kidnapping in the 1st degree. Guilty.”

Thank God! He was guilty on all charges! Some people in the crowd even cheered at Steve’s conviction.  On his end, his face dropped entirely as he lowered his head in shame. His DA’s shook their heads in defeat, his lawyer patted his shoulders and whispered to him.

“Then by the state of New York, I hereby sentence Mr. Harrison to life in prison without the possibility of parole. Court is adjourned.” Judge Mayweather stated before banging his gavel once and left the podium.

I hugged Mr. Wilson and thanked him repeatedly.  He embraced me back and congratulated me.  I then turned to Mr. Barnes and embraced him and he gladly embraced me back.  I turned towards Jack and Rog and they were elated with victory.  I went over to Jack and the first thing we did was kiss.

He picked me up and spun me around, our lips still connected with each other’s as Steve was being taken away.  We separated and I made sure to lock my eyes on him and he turned to look at me.  I narrowed my eyes at him and lifted my chin up high, showing him that I wasn’t weak, that he lost and he’d never hurt or even see me or my family ever again.

Soon he disappeared from the room to be transported to the New York penitentiary for attempted murder, aggravated stalking and kidnapping in the 1st degree.

As we left the courtroom, my lawyer James Barnes said to the media that Steve Harrison had been found guilty.

“Mrs. Kline, anything you’d like to say?” before Mr. Barnes could say anything, I placed my hand on his arm and stood before the cameras.

“What happened to me, happens to everyone around the world. Most of the victims are women and some are men. They feel like they’re alone when this happens to them, but they don’t have to be. So this is my message to those who are victims of stalking, assault, or abuse. You are not alone. There are thousands of others like you out there, but if you don’t speak up, you’ll end up one of the millions of unlucky ones that end up dead. Which is why I’m starting up my own organization. ANGELS AGAINST STALKING. To help victims, like me and you, to get the proper care and help you need to protect yourselves. Even when the law can’t do that.”

I walked down the steps of the courthouse with reporters coming after me with follow up questions about my new organization and more on Steve.

But all I did was get into the car and made a phone call to a special friend.  The phone rang a couple times before he answered.

‘Hello?’

“Miami. I need a favor.”

In the next couple of month thanks to some investors that Miami knew, I had set up ANGELS AGAINST STALKING in 3 locations.  One in West London, one in New York, and the other in Tokyo, Japan.  The media was spreading the news of my organization far and wide and I personally saw to it that the Officers who would work there were not only a part of the city’s police, but took the stalking cases seriously.

They were solemnly swore that if a person calls in regularly for someone stalking or threatening them, they need to take it seriously.  If verbal threats were told or they violated a restraining order, they were to take immediate action and give the victim protection.  

A profiler was also assigned to ensure that no one took advantage of this system so that no money needed to be wasted on a false story and an innocent person didn’t have to suffer.  

People who had been stalked in the past were brought in and coached in how to become therapists because no one but a victim would understand what a true victim is going through.

Soon enough by the start of the summer 1994, ANGELS AGAINST STALKING was up and running and phone calls were coming in and donations from any of my concerts would go to this organization to help keep it running and maybe one day the laws would change against stalking and law enforcement would take it seriously instead of brushing it off or accepting bribes from the assailants family.

If there’s anything that this hellish experience has taught me, it’s that you can’t let your attacker, abuser or stalker show them you have lost the battle.  You need to keep fighting, by any means necessary.  Even if law enforcement can’t protect you, find a way to protect yourself.

Surround yourself with loved ones, take self-defense classes, keep those you love closest to you.  Then when the time comes, document what happens and finally show everyone in law enforcement that you were right.

[jokers-of-the-impractical]

Brian Quinn Mini Series “One and Only” Part 2 of 3

(A/N: Hey guys! I hope you’re enjoying this series so far! This part is inspired by “One and Only” by Adele. Part 1 can be found here. Part 3 will be out hopefully soon!)

Word Count: 2200ish?

This past year and half with Brian had been a total romantic whirlwind. It seemed like a total dream, your relationship was truly amazing. You were so comfortable with each other right away, he knew all of your secrets, and you knew his. A month after the live show where he asked out on a date, you two were an official item. By that time the fans already knew who you were from a recording of that night going viral in the fandom. You and Brian were quite surprised by how quickly the fans took to you as well, but that was partially due to the other jokers and their girls always raving about you and the relationship. Plus Brian and the others would swoop in for protection when someone decided to be not so nice.

Speaking of the guys, your friendships with them were amazing too. Each bond with the guys was completely unique and special. Each one had its common interests, shared activities, and inside jokes too. Since that night in the diner the laughs, support, and fun with them had not stopped. At least once a month you and Brian were at one of their houses with the rest of the gang for dinner, you always counted down the hours of the work day when these were taking place. And Bessy and Melyssa were some of your closest friends now. All the time when the guys were off they were put on babysitting duty so you three could hang out and have some girl time. When you girls get together the possibilities are endless! Shopping, brunch, beach day, even a girl’s trip was currently in the works. Just the other day the guys had a last minute segment to film so the girls took the opportunity and decided to take you to go get mani-pedis together after work.

On a date at a trendy and snazzy new restaurant in the city where you two spent celebrating three months together you both said I love you for the first time. Both of you were so nervous, then when the moment was right, you jinxed each other by saying it at the same time. By six months of dating during a late night movie marathon at his place after asking for the last two weeks for you to bring your cat over for playdates all the time, he asked you to move in with him and presented you with a key. You squealed and hugged him so tightly you were sure he was going to snap in half. You were also so supportive of one another when it came to work. All the time you were promoting the show, his podcasts, and his beer brand. You had become a social media fanatic when it came to supporting him and his many ventures. Q had made it a habit of visiting your classroom, on a few occasions he brought the other jokers with him too. You had to admit that seeing your boyfriend surrounded by your students and playing with them made your heart melt. He had the perfect balance of toughness, funniness, and nurturing, when he interacted with them. He had even told you he had begun to love being around children more and more when he started being a frequent visitor in your classroom.

Not long after your one year anniversary, Brain took you to meet his family for the first time and you clicked with them instantly, just as much when Brian met your parents eight months into the relationship, but you knew that they’d love him long before they got to meet. One moment you were talking with his dad and brothers about sports, and the next you were exchanging baking ideas and recipes with his mom.  Now visiting his parents all the time was the norm. Two weekends ago you were over at their house for a big cookout when Carol brought you into the kitchen and you two shared a really emotional and meaningful heartfelt conversation. She hugged you extra tight and told how much she adored you and told that she thought you and Brian were perfect for each other. She said she saw you like a daughter and was so happy that you made her son feel love again. Then she pulled away and gently held your arms and began to tear up when she admitted to you that since you two had begun dating she was thrilled that things didn't work out between him and his ex fiancé, of course she hated the pain the situation put him through, no parent would wish anything like that on their child, but not that long ago he confessed to her on the phone and she couldn't agree more that he was willing to go through that amount of heartache a thousand times if it meant that he got to be with you, because you meant that much to him. Now it was your turn to have tears in your eyes and you hugged her tightly again. As your conversation was nearing its end Q came in to find you and heard the tail end of the conversation, when he came into view he was looking at you super nervously. You headed back outside and he stayed in for a moment to talk to his mom, all you heard before stepping outside was something about not yet and not to ruin it.

Since that weird encounter at the cookout, Bri has been acting all jittery. Any time there was time to relax just the two of you, he would always suggest you do something or go out. It was a little concerning, usually if you guys disagreed or upset the other you would talk it out and fix it as soon as possible. But today was a date you both had been planning for the past month so you figured you would time to talk to him about it sometime today. You got out of bed and left your cat and Brooklyn sleeping on the bed. You trudged downstairs to see Q already dressed and sitting on the couch with Benjamin and Chessie with a cup of tea. You wrapped your arms around him and planted a kiss on his cheek, with sleepiness still in your voice.

“Mmm Good Morning Baby.” Q lifted up his arms to touch yours and leaned his head to plant a kiss on your cheek and then look at you.

“Morning my love. Do you want something to eat before we go? I already have coffee ready and waiting for you too.” He handed you your favorite mug from the coffee table filled with coffee just the way you liked it. You thought it over for a moment while you took a few sips of the coffee.

“Nah I’m good. I’ll just have this while I go and get ready.”

“Okay sounds good to me. I’m ready when you are, but don’t rush. Also, I picked out an outfit for you to wear today.” You smiled when he told you that, every so often he would do this for your dates and it would always make you smile. You headed back upstairs and sure enough your chiffon floral maxi dress and light denim jacket was waiting for you in the front of your closet. You love that the outfit he picked worked so well the manicure from the other day. You then decided to do a no-makeup makeup look topped off with your favorite pink lipstick, then while sipping your coffee, you pinned a bit of your hair back and left the rest down naturally. After your hair and makeup was done and slipped into your outfit, you saw your nude strappy sandals, diamond stud earrings, and off-white cross body bag waiting on the desk chair for you. You went to meet Bri downstairs when you were done getting ready to see him still being kinda weird, and you left for the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Ever since you binge watched Gossip Girl you had become enamored with the MET, you used to go here all the time and Brian knew that. Sometimes you would even just sit on the steps and people watch on days you were in the city. You went in and Q paid for both of your tickets. You spent the whole day wandering around going from exhibit to exhibit and showing him all of your favorite pieces. After what seemed like hours and were getting ready to head out, you figured now would be the right time to finally talk to Brian about why he had been acting so odd lately. You took in a quick yet deep breath and decided to get it over with.

“Hey Bri?” You could hear the nervousness in your voice, and he must have heard it too by the way you noticed him tense up and slowly turn away from the painting he was looking at to be facing you. It almost seems like he’s shaking.

“Uh, yes Y/N?” You let out another breath as you were unsure of where this conversation might lead since you have never seen him act like this.

“Are you okay? Ever since the cookout you’ve been acting pretty weird.”

“I have?”

“Yeah you have, and I was thinking maybe it was because you heard what your mom said to me. But, I want you to know that I feel the same way, I would have dealt with Dean tons more if it meant I got to be with you, that’s honestly how much I love you.” As soon as you finished, he let out a deep sigh of relief and was now smiling.

  “Y/N, I am fine I promise, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. But I’m glad you told me that, it means so much to me. How about we head home and order some takeout yeah?”  You smiled looking deep into his gorgeous dark eyes and nodded.

You walked your way back through the museum and once you both got outside you saw a section of the MET steps had been blocked off and was filled with red roses. You were in awe of this beautiful little scene that you didn’t realize Q was dragging you into this small area. Then all of the sudden there you were, holding hands with Brian facing you in the middle of all of these dozens of roses. Then Brian took a deep breath and began in the most gentle and sweet voice, almost like the night you met.

“Y/N, these past eighteen months have been pure heaven for me. From the moment I saw you I knew I was laying my eyes upon the most beautiful woman in the world, and then to know you admired me even a tenth of the way I already admired you when I read your letter made think I may actually have a shot with you, even though I was so unworthy of this angel before me.” You let out a giggle as he said that, and the gears in your head started turning, why is he being super romantic after being really weird and nervous? “Then I really got to know you and found out we had so much in common, and you helped become an even better version of myself, and I hope I do the same for you. The reason I’ve been so weird since the cookout, is because I didn’t want my mom to ruin this surprise. And I’ve been so nervous because… well...” What surprise? It was then it finally clicked as Brian let go of your hand and got down on knee, the manicure, the weirdness, the special date, the roses, everything! You felt your eyes well up with tears, and your hands flew to your mouth in shock, he was proposing! He pulled a small wooden box out of his pocket and opened it to show a gold ornate banded ring with an Emerald cut diamond in the middle with a small baguette diamond on each side as well. It was the most magnificent ring you had ever seen.

“Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, would you be willing to spend the rest of your life with me, and do me the honor of becoming my wife?” Now the tears were starting to stream down your face and a smile permanently was plastered on your face. You heard cameras clicking and lights flashing around you as you took in this surreal moment with the love of your life.

“Yes Brian, of course I will marry you!” With that he put the ring on your finger and stood up to embrace you and placed a delicate kiss on your lips as cheers erupted from the small crowd that had gathered around you. You looked over to see photographers taking photos of the priceless moment, and your family that Brian must have flown in for the occasion were all thrilled with Bessy and Melyssa standing with them smiling as well. Then you both heard a loud and dramatic voice ring through a megaphone.

“Ladies and gentlemen! Make way for the happy couple who is now engaged!” You and Q looked over to see Joe holding a megaphone and Sal and Murr with him too. You and your now fiancé both giggled at the hilarious touch they added to this moment, realizing they must have been the ones to set it u while you both were inside. You looked back and Brian you knew that you were both excited to spend the rest of your life together, just you, and your one and only.

[noona-clock]

I Never Knew - Part 4

Genre: WWII!AU

Pairing: Brian (Day6) x You (Female!Reader)

Warning: Mentions of war

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, Epilogue | Words: 3,296

*gif courtesy of @cramelot​​​

As soon as you swung your legs over the side of your bed the next morning, you knew without one single doubt that your father would ask you about your date last night. And he would want details.

I mean, he was a general in the military, first of all. Of course, he wanted all the information he could get. And he was your father, second of all. You were his only daughter -- his only child!

He had always been a bit overprotective, and it had only intensified once your mother passed away. Now that you made up his entire family world, he felt it was his duty to be there for you as much as he possibly could.

...Well. That’s how he put it. In reality, ‘be there for you’ really meant ‘pry into your life.’

He meant well, though, and you loved him dearly.

But, still. It’s not like you were looking forward to telling him about your date with Brian. Telling him you felt like you’d found your soulmate less than two days after meeting him. There’s no way he would take that even remotely well.

You knew he was downstairs at the kitchen table eating breakfast right now, and if you didn’t join him soon... The only times you didn’t come down to join him for breakfast were when you were sick, and when that happened, he always came to check up on you. 

So, either way, you would have to talk to him. And you’d never been able to lie to your father. He was a general, for goodness sake. Not only would he be able to tell you were lying, but he would certainly know how to get the truth out of you eventually.

With a soft but anxious sigh, you stood up and shuffled over to retrieve your robe and slippers.

The second you set foot downstairs you heard your father clear his throat.

That was not a coincidence.

“Good morning, Daddy,” you called out as you made your way down the hallway.

When you appeared in the doorway to the kitchen, your father rose his eyebrows and shot you a grin. “Cupcake!” He sounded like he was surprised to see you -- as if he hadn’t been waiting for you to come downstairs. “Good morning.”

He lifted his mug and took a sip of his coffee as you headed to the fridge for your morning apple. You wondered to yourself how long he could hold out before asking about your date.

And when you slid into the chair across from him just a minute later, you got your answer.

“Did you have a good time last night?” he asked casually, though you knew he was holding himself back from asking about every single detail.

“I did,” you answered with a smile. “A very good time.”

“And this... Brian, is it? He’s --”

“A perfect gentleman,” you interrupted. And you figured you might as well answer his unasked questions, too. “I know I just met him, but I really like him, Daddy. He’s not like any other guy I’ve ever met, and... I don’t know. It just feels... different.”

For some reason, you expected your father to dismiss your feelings and tell you to be careful. He was a more pragmatic sort of man, so you just imagined he wouldn’t believe in something like “love at first sight.”

But, to your surprise, he set down his coffee cup and gazed across the table at you with a very wistful look in his eyes.

“You sound like me when I met your mother,” he said softly. “I knew from the second I laid eyes on her that she was the woman I would fall in love with. From then on, I never thought about anyone else.”

You slowly set your apple down on the placemat in front of you, your brow furrowing gently as you listened to his words.

“...Really?” you whispered.

He nodded, one corner of his lips tugging into a nostalgic half-smile. “I asked her to marry me after a month, and you came along a year later.”

You’d known your parents hadn’t been married long before your mother got pregnant with you, but you hadn’t known they’d gotten engaged after only a month. Neither of them had ever told you that. Or maybe you had just never asked.

But now you were curious. More than curious.

“How did it feel when you met her?” you asked, resting an elbow on the table and leaning forward slightly in your chair.

“Well,” he sighed. “It felt... like I knew my life had just changed. That’s the easiest way to describe it. I just... knew.”

Your heart skipped a beat inside your chest, and you inhaled shakily before saying, “That’s how I feel. Like I just know I’m going to fall in love with him.”

It felt strange saying that to your father, but his smile actually grew after you told him.

“You don’t know how glad I am to hear that,” he said, reaching across and holding out his hand to you. You slid your fingers into his palm, and he grasped them tightly. “The last thing I want is for you to get hurt, but I trust you. I love you. You’re the last piece of your mother I have left, and the only thing I want is for you to be happy.”

Tears filled your eyes as you nodded, the lump of emotion forming in your throat making it difficult to say anything.

And then your father’s gaze quickly transformed into one of stern gravity. “But I’m still going to need to meet this young man to make sure he’s good enough for you.”

A breathless chuckle escaped through your nose, and you murmured, “Yes, of course, Daddy.”

He squeezed your hand once more before letting it go and continuing eating his breakfast. You did the same, picking up your apple and crunching into it. And, as you chewed, you couldn’t stop a smile from pulling at your lips. You’d thought your father would think you were crazy or that he wouldn’t believe you and would forbid you from seeing Brian again. You’d been fairly certain he wouldn’t take your news well... but it had been quite the opposite.

You didn’t normally like to be proven wrong, but in this situation, you were more than delighted.

Once your father headed off to work, you went back upstairs to get ready for another day of volunteering at the hospital. You intended to stay much longer today, even if you did see Brian visiting his injured chum. Cat, the head nurse, seemed like someone you wanted to become friends with, and you weren’t going to make a good impression on her if you only volunteered for an hour or so at a time.

So, as you approached the hospital doors about twenty minutes later, you resolved to work hard, long, and distraction-free. 

The first person you saw upon opening the door, however, was Cat, who was leaning against the reception desk with a sly smirk on her red lips. And the first thing she said was, “How was your date last night?”

You paused, your head jerking back slightly in surprise. “Uh -- what -- how --”

“I was at the movie theatre,” she told you with a casual half-shrug. “I saw you two, and you looked mighty cozy during that movie.”

Almost instantly, your cheeks began to burn, and they were obviously turning pink because Cat’s smirk became even more sly.

She leaned closer to you, nudging you gently with her elbow and waggling her eyebrows. “How was it, huh? Everything you wanted it to be?”

You let out a breathless chuckle before answering her. “...Everything... and more,” you muttered bashfully.

Cat squealed, much to your embarrassment, and clapped her hands together gleefully. “Oh, I told you I’m a sucker for a good love story!”

And that gave you the perfect segue to change the subject. “Speaking of, didn’t you like the movie?”

Cat let her hands fall to her side, the joy slowly leaving her expression as she shrugged. “It was all right. Cary Grant’s not really my type.”

Unsurprisingly, your brow furrowed deeply and your eyes widened. “Excuse me? He’s not -- what is your type then?!”

Because how could Cary Grant not be someone’s type?!

“He’s too... I don’t want to say masculine, but I don’t know how else to describe it,” she responded. “I like a man I can take care of, not one who wants to take care of me. I’m plenty able to do that myself.”

...Okay, when she put it that way, it made a whole lot more sense. “I’m guessing that’s why you became a nurse,” you pointed out. “So you could take care of people and not the other way around.”

“Precisely,” Cat nodded, her lips curving into a proud grin. “Now, if you’ll follow me, I’ve got some more laundry to fold.”

She turned on her heel, and you began to follow her down the hallway. All this talk of men and types had you curious, though. You weren’t normally one to pry, but... I mean, Cat knew far more about your dating life than anyone else, so you figured it wouldn’t be totally out of line to ask.

“Do you have a boyfriend, then?” you asked. “One whom you can take care of?”

Cat replied with a single, emotionless laugh.

“Let’s just say I’m in-between relationships,” she replied. “Although...”

But then she cut herself off and chuckled out a soft never mind.

“No, what?” you pressed, hoping you weren’t being too rude. “Although...?”

Cat suddenly stopped walking, and you almost ran into her. But before you could apologize, she grasped your wrist and scurried down to the laundry room. She quickly closed the door behind you, her brow furrowed with guilt.

“What?” you asked breathlessly. “What’s going on?”

“It’s... the guy with the broken leg,” she whispered. “I know I shouldn’t be falling for patients, but he’s just really handsome, and he reminds me of a little kitten, and the way he smiles at me gets my heart all in a knot.”

You stared at her for a few moments, absolutely speechless. Cat seemed like the strong, independent, unflappable type of girl who can expertly flirt with a guy and he won’t even know she’s flirting with him. And here she was, wringing her hands nervously and talking about kittens and knotted hearts.

“I --”

“I think he likes me, too,” she continued. “I just -- I don’t know what to do.”

You blinked before you finally found words. “I mean -- I think you should tell him. You said it was the guy with the broken leg?”

Cat nodded.

“Brian’s friend?”

She nodded again.

A smile pulled at your lips, and you took Cat’s hands, holding them reassuringly. “He told me yesterday -- Brian told me that his friend likes you. His exact words were ‘he’s carryin’ a real big torch.’ That you’ve got gumption, and that’s exactly what he likes in a woman. You need to tell him how you feel!”

Cat’s brow furrowed even more, and a hesitant frown curved her red lips. “I don’t know...”

“He just broke his leg, right?” you urged. “He won’t be staying here long. If you really don’t want to confess to him now, just give him hints.”

“But I have!” she replied. “I’ve smiled and let my touches linger and given him chocolate pudding with every meal!”

“Okay... Then... Maybe just tell him you want to go out once he’s no longer a patient?”

Cat pursed her lips at you, releasing her hands from your hold and crossing her arms over her chest. “That’s the same as confessing.”

You were about to make another suggestion, but Cat’s gasp cut you off.

“I know!” she exclaimed, her eyes lighting up. “You -- you can bring him his lunch and talk about me and make it obvious that I’m interested. And then once he’s discharged, he can ask me out.”

You had jumped back a little when she’d said ‘you’ -- her voice had been very insistent, and she’d pointed right at you.

But... it really wasn’t a bad idea.

“I can do that,” you nodded. “Bringing a patient’s meal is definitely something I’ve done as a volunteer. Many times.”

Cat broke out into a smile, and before you knew it, she’d stepped up to you and enveloped you in a hug. “Oh, thank you,” she squealed softly. “This means we’re friends now, and I promise I will return the favor.”

“No sweat,” you chuckled, lifting your arms and squeezing her back. “What’s a favor between friends?”

“All right,” Cat said, pulling back and grinning at you. “Let’s get this laundry done. We should be done just before lunchtime.”

“I’ll make sure we are,” you replied, taking a page from Cat’s book and shooting her a sly wink.

“Lunchtime,” you announced as you approached the hospital bed, carrying a tray of food and hoping your nerves weren’t too obvious.

The patient, whose name you had learned was Wonpil, pushed himself into a seated position, and you couldn’t help but notice he had a very disappointed frown on his lips.

“Where’s Cat?” he asked as you carefully set the tray down on his lap.

“She’s... she’s a little busy right now,” you explained, not meeting his eye so he wouldn’t know you were lying. “I’m a volunteer, so I offered to deliver lunch today.”

Wonpil’s frown immediately disappeared, his brows lifting in surprise. “Oh -- you’re -- Brian’s --”

You felt your cheeks begin to warm, and you continued to avoid Wonpil’s gaze. “Y--yes,” you chuckled. “I guess he told you when he came to visit you yesterday?”

Wonpil nodded quickly, his lips now curved into the sweetest smile. Now you knew why Cat had called him a kitten; he was probably the most adorable guy you’d ever seen.

“I’m Wonpil,” he greeted, holding his hand out toward you.

You took it delicately, shaking it and introducing yourself in turn.

“Thank you for my lunch,” Wonpil grinned. “Even though Cat didn’t bring it, I’m glad I got to meet you.”

“Me too,” you replied with a shy smile. And then you inhaled deeply because this was your chance. You sat on the edge of his bed, smoothing your dress over your lap. “Speaking of Cat, though... Brian told me you... have a thing for her?”

Wonpil had been looking at the food on his tray, but upon hearing your question, his gaze snapped up to meet yours. His lips were now curved down, his forehead wrinkled.

“He told you that?”

“Well... yeah,” you said, laughing softly. “But it’s kind of obvious. You’ve mentioned her twice already.”

“...Oh, yeah.” Wonpil chuckled guiltily and shrugged.

“I hope I’m not overstepping, but... I think you should go for it,” you told him, hoping you sounded as casual as you were trying to. “I think you’re going to be discharged any day now, and in my humble opinion, the first thing you should do once you are is... ask her out.”

“I... should?” he asked cautiously.

You nodded, shooting him an encouraging grin. “She told me she likes --”

You were about to tell him what she’d really told you: she likes guys she can take care of. But the only thing you really knew about Wonpil right now was that he was in the hospital. He didn’t know Cat had told you about him, so you probably shouldn’t mention any of that.

“She told me she likes guys with really adorable smiles,” you finished. “And I think you have a pretty adorable smile.”

That adorable smile of his instantly appeared, his eyes lighting up with hope. “Really? You think I’d really have a chance if I asked her out?”

“I really think so,” you assured him.

“Well, well, well, what do we have here?”

You jumped a little at the sudden interruption, standing up and turning to see Brian -- a smirking Brian -- walking toward Wonpil’s bed. Your heart immediately skipped about five beats, and you pressed your lips together to stop an incredibly giddy smile from forming on your lips.

“Y/N brought me my lunch,” Wonpil answered. “And she told me to ask out the nurse I’ve been falling for.”

Brian’s eyebrows rose, and he shot you a questioning glance. “Oh, did she?”

Wonpil nodded vigorously. “I think I’m going to once I’m discharged.”

Brian held out one hand then, flashing a piece of paper he was holding. “Speaking of, the receptionist gave me these.”

“What are those?” Wonpil inquired curiously.

“Your discharge papers! You can leave once you finish your lunch,” Brian grinned.

Wonpil’s eyes widened, and he froze for a moment... but then he quickly picked up the sandwich on his tray and stuffed it into his mouth.

Brian chuckled, shaking his head a little before taking a step closer to you.

Your heart began to beat double-time, and the corners of your lips tugged up into a soft smile.

“Hey,” he greeted quietly.

“Hi,” you replied. “How are you?”

“I’m great, though I’m doing even better now.”

Your heart jumped a little, and you let out an almost silent giggle.

Brian’s expression then turned a bit more serious, and he knit his eyebrows together before he asked, “Hey, while he’s stuffin’ his face over there... can I talk to you?”

His urgent tone was pretty obvious, and it made your stomach drop down to your feet. He had just told you he was doing even better now that he was in your presence, so it couldn’t be anything bad... right? But why did he sound so grave?

You simply nodded, and Brian reached out to gently grasp your elbow. He led you to the next bed over, tugging at the curtain so you could have a bit of privacy.

“Listen,” he started, making your stomach even more fluttery. “There’re rumors goin’ around that... we’ll be shipping out sometime soon. I don’t know if it’s true, and if it is, I don’t know when... I just... “

His gaze pierced into yours, and you didn’t even realize you were holding your breath -- but you most definitely were.

“I want to spend as much time as I can with you before that happens.”

You let out that breath, exhaling with relief. Although, you weren’t really relieved that he was probably going to be leaving soon... but you weren’t going to think too much about that right now.

“Okay,” you whispered, tipping your head into a tiny nod. “Yes. Me too.”

Brian broke out into a smile, and he leaned in to press his lips to your cheek. He lingered there, the tip of his nose brushing against your skin. You felt his eyelashes flutter against your cheekbone, and it sent a delicious chill down your spine.

“I gotta help Wonpil get back to base, and then I have some work to do... but how about dinner again tonight?”

You nodded again, but then a thought popped into your head. “I -- I’m sure my dad won’t mind.”

Hopefully, he wouldn’t mind.

Brian froze for just a moment, a flash of panic darting through his gaze. “...Oh. I... didn’t really think about that.”

Another thought popped into your head. It might have been a crazy one, but you voiced it, anyway.

“Why don’t you come over to my house instead?” you asked, your eyebrows lifting with expectation and curiosity.

Brian froze yet again.

“...Go... to your house? And... have dinner. With you. And your father. The... new general?”

He gulped anxiously.

Part 5

[jj-lynn21]

How A Girl Must Live Ch 1

Ch1: A place for singles

Ch 2: Popular, Ch 3 Opening Up  ch 4: Dating Ch 5:Family

 Ch 6 Violence begets Violence Ch 7 Love Birds Ch 8 The Big Fight

ch 9: The Flash back

  Notes: AU Willard Russel. In this story he still went off to the war. Instead of going home, one of the other soldiers offered him a job at a resort in the Catskills Mountains in New York. He has been there five years when the story starts. So, it makes him about twenty-five. The ages of those that come into the resort are 18-21 for females, 18-25 for males. The only warning I could put on this chapter is that it is 1950s so there were some rules for women that most of us would think of as ridiculous now. Our main female character sure thinks they are, but she was raised to go along with society, for the most part. No smut until the last few chapters.

taging: @super-pink-a-palouza @luciferreads @glasglowgrin @loomiz @princessloveme123 @hornyhetero @taintedglass @bohemian-brian​ @maryan028 @optimisticwagoneagleparty @scxrsgxrd ,@waywardtigersandwich @theskarsgardcult @babyboy-cody @bskarsgardlove92​ @bill-skarsgard-owns-my-ass @shenevertricks1831

  Thank you so much for the moodboard to start this off @flowers-in-your-hayr​

It was spring break 1950 when Samantha Davenport’s father insisted, she needed to find a man. There had already been talk about her amongst his friends that something might not be right about his daughter since she was about to turn 19 and had no male companion. No suiters at the door vying for her attention. So, he sent her to a resort that was known for putting people together. Some even ended up married at the resort surrounded by friends and family.  

“Mother, why is Father sending me away like I did something wrong?” Samantha pouted with her arm flung over her chaise lounge dramatically. “I am perfectly happy being single. My friend Tami has a dotting husband and three kids. She ain’t no happier than me.”

“Is not happier.” Her Mother corrected. “I do hope they encourage proper grammar at this resort for young people.”

Samantha rolled her eyes while her Mother’s back was turned. “Won’t I learn that at that God-awful finishing school that starts in the Fall?”

“Do not take the lords name in vain like that young lady,” She slammed the pink suitcase closed. “Your Father knows what is best for this family. Until you are blessed with a husband to help you make correct decisions, you will listen to your Father. Let us get you to the car. Your Father is waiting.”

Samantha huffed and stomped to the car. Her Father was waiting with his legs crossed at the ankles. He tipped his hat to his Ladies. Then he moved around the car to open the front door. “Mother.”

“Thank you, Father,” his wife smiled politely as she got in the car.

He opened the back door. “My beautiful free-spirited little girl.”

“Thank you, Father.” She felt deflated as she got in the car.

The car was quiet, other than the radio playing Elvis, The Platters, Pat Boone, Dean Martin, and other popular crooners of the time. It was a six-hour drive from Summerland, Ohio to the Mountain Lake Resort in Catskills, New York. As she listened to the music she glanced through the brochure for the place.  

The rooms looked nice enough. Four girls would room together. Friendships were expected. The boys were roomed in a different part of the building. An elegant dining area was found between the girls' and boys' areas. There was a lake and pool where daily activity would be held. Hiking, crafts, and board games were also organized to have something to interest all guests. The young people had to get involved with a minimum of three events per day. No smoking or drinking by any of the young ladies. The young men would have dedicated times when they would learn to drink and smoke casually.  

It seemed unfair having to take part in dumb activities. And the rules were worse than home. Her Father let her go shopping with her girlfriends and drive her own car without a man beside her. At the resort there always had to be a man to escort the ladies on the premises. They were to wait in the morning for a knock on the door at 6am. An escort would be there to bring them to breakfast. They could only speak when spoken to.  

A girl would not deny a gentleman's advances. Dating was strongly encouraged. Samantha thought it was absurd to have to entertain morons just so they did not feel bad about themselves. She would not be forced into a relationship to appease her parents. The idea of the man of her dreams being at some camp to get young people married off was ridiculous.  

When they pull up to the main building young gentlemen line the walkway. They are all dressed in impressive suits of grey, navy or black with ties. One of them rushes to open the back door. “Welcome to the resort Miss.” He tilted his hat with a smile.

“Sam.” She said with a smirk.

Her Father got out of the car to get her suitcase out of the trunk. “Have an enjoyable time Samantha.”  

“I’ll take her suitcase, Sir.” The young man stuck out his hand.  

Her Father handed the suitcase over happily. Her Mother waved to her from the car. She had a huge proud smile on her face as if dropping her daughter off at such a place as this was a huge accomplishment.  

“Follow me Miss Samantha.” The young man started walking and she followed as instructed. He took her into a communal area. Boys at the tables on the right. Girls at the tables on the left. There were some windows at the far end where she could see tables for two and four set up. “Have a seat, Miss Samantha. This is Miss Pamala, Miss Missy and Miss Flora. They will be your roommates. I will take your suitcase to your room.”

“Thank you,” She croaked softly as she sat down.  

The girls in unison giggled as they greeted her with a, “Hello, Samantha.” They all seemed just giddy to be there.

“I can hardly wait to be paired with my future Husband.” Missy squealed.

Pamala chided her. “Now Missy you should date many boys here to find the right one. You date some even more than once to make sure you are compatible.” She giggled.

“What is your strategy for finding a perfect husband, Samantha?”  Flora asked. “I am going to play hard to get with all the boys until I choose who I want. Of course, I will make him think he chose me.” She laughs with the rest of them.

“I have no plan.” Samantha’s voice was dull compared to the manic girls around her. “My parents think I can find my heart's desire here. I very much doubt that. But good luck to you three.”

“Just look at all of them over there.” Missy giggled. “The odds are in our favor.”

Samantha rolled her eyes. A couple in their late forties stepped out between the young men and young girls. The man tipped his fedora to the crowd before taking it off to hold to his chest with one hand. His other hand held his wife’s hand. He kissed it politely before letting it go. She curtsied to the room.  

“Good evening young people,” The man looked around the room making eye contact with some. “We are the Jones. You may call my wife Mrs. Sally. Please refer to me as Mr. Jones. Ladies are always to be called by their first names with Mrs. In front of it if they are married and Miss before that. All gentlemen here will be referred to as Mr. with their last name after. We do this so our ladies soon to be Wives and Mother’s we hope, will know the name they are to take. And the gentlemen should always know the first name of his possible wife when he is introduced to her.”

His wife kept a smile on her face. She looked at him in adoration as he spoke. She said nothing. She waited for him to allow her to speak.  

“We have a few rules.” The room groaned. “There are not many. They are not difficult to follow. You will all be dress in your finest daily. That is suit and tie for the boys. And dresses for the girls. Petticoats are optional but highly recommended. No slang words or curses here. You will always talk properly. Ladies will always be accompanied by a gentleman. My lovely wife will now talk to you about meals.”

“Good evening everyone.” His wife curtsied to everyone again. “Tonight, I helped Chef Joseph cook a chopped steak with baked potatoes for the boys and garden salads for our girls. Well, Mr. Joseph grilled the steaks and potatoes. I just threw together a salad he told me how to make. After tonight's dinner, I know you will all need some rest.

The boys room numbers coincide with the number on their table. Our young ladies will be escorted to their room by one of our male staff members. In the morning at six, girls you will start hearing a knock at the door. You will be ready to come down to breakfast prompting with the young man we send for you. Maybe he will be the one.” She was as giddy as some of the young girls about that comment.  

Samantha was already annoyed. It increased when Tab soft drinks were set on her table. She had no problem with her shape and the other girls at the table were varied sizes but that did not mean they all did not deserve a hamburger, fries, and a Milkshake like she would normal have when hanging out with friends. She never drank diet soda like Tab. Her Mother ate salads often. She did sometimes. But usually they all had meat, potatoes, and vegetables.  

“I’m sorry, I was babbling on so.” Mrs. Sally apologized looking at her husband. “Is there anything else you need to address, Sir?”

“You did as good as I expected Mrs. Sally.” He gave her shoulder a little squeeze that elated her. “All young girls are not to smoke or drink. It is not lady like. If your husband chooses to let you that is between you and him. Here you will not partake in such things. After the girls are in their rooms to get their beauty sleep any boys who want to partake in an after-dinner smoke and drink may do so under our supervision. That is the only time you will be allowed to do such things. Does everyone understand?”

“Yes Mr. Jones.” The room howled.  

“Good, now let’s enjoy our dinner.” He clapped. Women brought out the food on large platters for the young men and bowls for the girls. Samantha was starving. When she took large bites of her salad, the other girls just looked at her like she was insane. They all took small bites. Missy even used a knife to cute hers up. The others followed her lead.  

“Do you want your future husband to see you eating like such, such a heathen.” Miss Missy whispered.

Samantha’s mouth hung open for a second. “I down cheeseburgers in front of boys all the time. This is just salad and I am starving. “

“Well, maybe that is the reason you are not happily married by now.” Miss Pamala guessed with a snideness to the remark.

“If the men here only care about how I eat instead of who I am, then I guess I won’t meet anyone this way.” Samantha laughed before taking another huge bite just to annoy the other girls.

When a man was sent to the table to escort Samantha to her room, she went willingly just to get away from the girls she was sitting with for a few minutes. The young man who escorted her walked with his chin up looking ahead without conversing with her at all. She was fine with that. It took her roommates another half hour to finish eating before joining her. She pretended to be asleep in the twin bed on the right of the room closest to the window.

Samantha was restless laying in the bed. Her stomach was growling also. The other girls were sleeping dreaming of their wedding days. She decided to tiptoe to the kitchen to see what she could find. She did not know where the kitchen was, but it had to be somewhere behind the double doors the food was brought from at the dinner.  

She walked slow and steady down to the stairwell. She thought the elevator bell would alert someone to her late-night snack walk. She glanced both ways when she opened the stairway door to the main floor. No one was insight. She headed to the dining area thinking she would be free and clear but there were voices from the room.

“One more hand, boys.” A deep voice echoed. “No wilds. Treat your cards like a Lady. Respect them. Gaze at them lovingly. And make sure no one else thinks theirs are better than yours.”

Samantha snuck around them in the shadows as the boys laughed. The voices get muted as she slides into the double doors catching them, so they do not shut loud in the darkness. The kitchen was a sterile silver with a ceiling light in the center. She reached up to pull the string to turn it on. The area only illuminated slightly. There was a window at the fair end so she could she how the lighting would be fine once the sun shone in on the room.  

On her toes she reached to open a cupboard to find a snack, a glass or both. She found juice glasses. Then she opened the refrigerator to find more vegetables for salads which she had enough of already. But there was also freshly squeezed orange juice ready for the morning. She poured herself a glass. When she walked out after putting away the juice and shutting the light off, she stopped to hear the guys chatting, smoking cigars, and playing poker.  

“I will marry a beautiful girl to make my parents happy,” The one boy was saying. “Then it is off to the army for me to defend this great country.”

“I don’t suggest that young man,” The deeper voiced guy suggested. “You don’t want to see the things I saw. You do not want to be part of that messed up world unless you have to, you dig? I saw a man skinned alive. You do not want to see that kid. I don’t want you to see that.” His voice sounded haunted by the memory.

“Well, I’m going to keep my girl in line just like my Dad does.” Another younger voice chimed in. “Just smack her right in the chops if she sasses, disobeys or...”

Samantha heard a bang on the table that made her gasp audibly and drop her glass shattering it on the floor.

“You should never treat a woman like that,” The deeper voice seethed. “If I see or hear of you laying one hand on these ladies you will be out of here. And If I ever see you or your Father lay a hand on a Lady in my presence that moment will come back to haunt you three-fold.” He gets up. Straightens his tie and turns towards toward the noise. He softens his face smiling. “I’m sorry Miss. I did not mean to startle you. I was just teaching these fellas a few things. Hopefully, they listened.”

She nodded slowly scared she was in much more trouble than the boy he threatened since she broke a rule. “I’m, I just needed a drink. I’ll be going back to my room after cleaning up the glass.”

“The boys will clean up the glass.” He rose out of the chair towering over her.  

“Yes, Sir.” She glanced up his entire frame noticing his broad shoulders to his large bright green eyes that caught hers. Then she quickly looked down.  

“Isn’t that women’s work.” One of the men complained  

The tall slender man glared at the boys, “If a woman is frightened, we help her even if it means cleaning up a mess once in a while.” He looked to Samantha holding out his hand. “I will escort you back to your room Miss.”  

“I’m Sam, well Samantha.” She took his hand nervously.  

Samantha and the tall guy started walking away as the boys found a broom to sweep up the mess. It took them a few minutes. They also cleaned up the card game and empty beer bottles and the ashtray.

“I’m Mr. Russel.” the tall guy said as he pushed the elevator button. “Willard Russel. Do not worry, I will not say anything about you being out without an escort. You seem like a perfectly capable young lady to get a drink on her own. But please forgive my behavior with Mr. Goodland. I despise those that do not treat women with respect. What floor?”

“Seven.” She murmured. “I’m glad there are more men than my Father that believe that hitting women are wrong, Mr. Russel.”

“You just come to me if any of our boys get out of hand.” He put his arm out for her to get off the elevator first and walked her to her door. “I hope you find an absolutely true love here.” His face lit up when he really smiled.  

“Thank you, kindly Mr. Russel,” She smiled back barely realizing she was doing it.  

He opened the door she stopped at. She went inside and he closed it quietly behind her.

[shannendoherty-fans]

People, September 9th 1991

High School Confidential

By Tom Gliatto and Michael Alexander.

Photos by Mark Sennett.

Beverly Hills, 90210 Gets Its Heat from a Dangerously Cute Cast of TV's Hottest New Stars CONFIDENTIAL MEMO: FROM: The Vice Principal TO: The Faculty, High School U.S.A. I'm sure I don't need to remind you what happened when we didn't prepare for Bart Simpson last fall. The school was flooded with rude, antieducational T-shirts. Some cows were had. Well, as a new school year gets under way, I believe we face another daunting challenge: Brace yourselves for Beverly Hills, 90210. That's the Fox drama about unworldly twin teens Brandon and Brenda Walsh (played by Jason Priestley and Shannen Doherty), recent transferees from Minneapolis to the Hills of Beverly. There they struggle to assimilate into the fast-lane lifestyle of West Beverly Hills High School, where the kids come equipped with BMWs, call waiting and designer surfboards. In the process, the teens examine their emerging identities and the problems that adolescents everywhere face.

The show languished in the Nielsen ratings against Thursday powerhouse Cheers last year. But Fox had no replacement, so it stayed. While we were on summer vacation, new 90210 episodes began airing, and the show landed in the Top 20, becoming the most popular show among teenagers. To some extent, I take responsibility for having ignored 90210. I made the mistake of reading newspaper critics instead of my daughter's diary, and so I believed, as Howard Rosenberg sniffed in the Los Angeles Times, that the show was merely a "ZIP code for stereotypes and stock characters." Little did I know that this show would mesmerize teens by doing emotionally realistic shows that involved adolescent rebellion, alcoholic; parents, a breast-cancer scare and plenty of worrisome teen sex. "Most shows for adolescents," says 90210 creator Darren Star, "seem like they are written by 50-year-olds who think teenagers behave like 7-year-olds."

It also doesn't hurt that the show's male stars, Priestley and Luke Perry (who plays brooding loner Dylan McKay), are "to die for," as my daughter puts it. These two have each been receiving about 1,500 fan letters a week. So be vigilant: Surely some of these will be written by our students...during class! And I'm afraid that 90210 is only going to get bigger with our kids, if producer Aaron Spelling is to be believed. "I thought The Mod Squad and Charlie's Angels got a lot of publicity in their heyday," says Spelling, whose company produced those shows, "but it doesn't compare to this. It's crazy. We have merchandising coming out of our ears"—a complete line of T-shirts, beach towels, notebooks, etc. "And now these actors can't walk down the street!"

Or even streak through malls. You probably saw those alarming news reports about a frenzied mob of 10,000 fans that stampeded Perry when he appeared at a south Florida mall last month. "It's a little scary," says Perry. Scarier is the amount of time students will waste this fall discussing Luke. And Jason. And who is sexier. I provide some information on the two. Jason Priestley, 22, plays Brandon Walsh, a model of thoughtful level-headedness. In real life, however, the brown-haired, blue-eyed star, who started acting in commercials at age 4 and played an orphan on that very nice NBC sitcom Sister Kate, is no Oliver Twist. He likes dirt bikes, bungee jumping and is a chain-smoker (just about the whole cast puffs it up—but not on-camera). Vancouver-born Priestley likes to hang out in Las Vegas. As for his real romantic life, he was reportedly dating actress Robin (Doogie Howser, M.D.) Lively last spring, but it seems likely that now he is too busy for such dalliance;. He must be on the set 14 hours a day, five days a week. To avoid ever-present fans, Priestley says, "I look different from my character when I'm just walking around. I don't shave, I don't dress like Brandon."

On the show, 26-year-old Luke Perry (Brenda Walsh's boyfriend, Dylan) sports a leather jacket, dagger sideburns and a squint that spells t-r-o-u-b-l-e. Although he grew up and graduated from high school in Fredericktown, Ohio, he seems to have attended James Dean wise-guy classes. Perry, who played country-boy Ned Bates on the ABC soap Loving, entertains the 90210 cast by strutting around bare-chested making jokes. Does he have a girlfriend? "No. You know how I can get in touch with Linda Hamilton?" What kind of music does he listen to? "Tom Jones is awesome." Are he and Priestley ever mistaken for each other? "He's mistaken for me on his good days." And 90210, he says, is "the best show on television, except for Jeopardy!" We should act quickly, faculty, when we see any signs that Beverly Hills, 90210 is disrupting normal student activity.

How abnormal might things get? Consider: "It's almost like there are cults," says Brian Austin Green, 18, the North Hollywood High grad who plays the cutely dweeby David Silver. "Girls go to school the day after the show, and they actually become these characters. They say, 'Okay, today I want to be Dylan, you can be Brenda, you can be Brandon.' " Needless to say, students caught pretending to be TV characters should be brought directly to my office for detention. But you know, it might not be a bad thing if our students could show some of the good sense that the 90210ers display in coping with the pressures of fame and fortune. Jennie Garth, 19, who plays the very sexy, very blond, very snotty Kelly Taylor, is particularly admirable. The youngest of seven children, she grew up on a farm near Champaign, Ill., until her schoolteacher parents moved to Phoenix when she was 13. "Living in a small town and coming from a very tight and close family instilled a lot of standards that I need to live up to," says Garth, who just bought a home in Sherman Oaks. She also recently supplied her parents with the down payment for their new home, setting a splendid example for today's youth.

According to a tabloid that someone left in the faculty lounge, Memphis-raised Shannen Doherty, 20, a veteran of such wonderful shows as Little House: A New Beginning, is the only cast member to be accused of behaving like "a spoiled brat" on the set. But she maintains she is no such thing. "I think everybody gets in a bad mood," Shannen says. "You do not work 16-hour days and not start feeling it. But I have never thrown a tantrum. I've gotten upset on the set, but it's never been just to be a bitch. You have to stand up for yourself in this business. That was something I was told when I was 12 years old and working with Michael Landon."

As with about half the cast members, Doherty is in a relationship—in her case, a real-estate developer with whom she's exchanged commitment rings. "You really have to date a while before you decide if this is the person you want to marry," she says with Brenda-like candor. Almost sounds like the relationship could be a future 90210 plot. "The problems of young people have accelerated," says Aaron Spelling, "and so have their feelings and thoughts." The show, he says, has kept pace: Even with their Clearasil-perfect complexions and plump allowances, the students at Beverly Hills have encountered their share of problems. "We had the guts to make Luke Perry be a member of AA," says Spelling. "We had Jason, our star, drinking and driving. That's reality."

And, apparently, the adulatory fan mail often includes a sad dose of that reality. "I got a letter the other day from a girl who mentioned the show we did on parental drug abuse," says Perry in a rare moment of seriousness. "She wrote about catching her father freebasing in the basement. I get letters like that all the time, from people all over the country." Gabrielle Carteris (at age 30, she's 90210's oldest cast-kid), who plays Andrea Zuckerman, the bright student who comes from the wrong side of Rodeo Drive, remembers an encouraging close encounter in a grocery store. "One girl came up to me after we'd done the breast-cancer show," says Carteris. "She said, 'I went home with all my friends and we checked our breasts for lumps.' "

In conclusion: Maybe I didn't need to write this memo. Maybe things won't be that bad, even if every locker in every corridor has a picture of Jason, Luke, Shannen or Jennie in it. Perhaps our dear little school is more like West Beverly Hills High—at least the TV version—than I thought. That's what Ian Ziering, 27, thinks too. "The reality on the show pretty much mirrors the way life is all over, in terms of teenagers," says New Jersey—bred Ziering, who once did Fruit of the Loom underwear ads and now plays 90210's curly-headed jock, Steve Sanders. "There's a mystique about Beverly Hills. But that's not what keeps people tuning in. The show could have been Montana E-I-E-I-O." By the way, should any student pronounce his name "eee-an," correct him or her, please. It's "eye-an."

-- WHEN BEVERLY HILLS, 90210 PREMIERED last October, Highlights, the student newspaper at Beverly Hills High, ran articles mocking the school's TV counterpart, West Beverly Hills High. "They said that the show was a joke," says Jenny Brandt, 14, a sophomore at the 1,900-student school. But as the story lines improved and Jason Priestley and Luke Perry became stars, the jokes stopped, and Brandt found herself, like many of her pals, glued to the set on Thursday nights from 9 to 10 P.M. "No phone calls allowed," says Brandt. "Except during commercials." Hope Levy, a 17-year-old senior, has taken fandom a step further with her friends. "We have little handmade cards," she says, speaking from her mom's car phone. "They say you're a member of Club 90210." While some kids think the show treats them as snobby stereotypes, most agree with sophomore Jordan Rynes when he says, "It's like a soap opera for teens. The shows dealing with drinking and drugs are the most real—adults don't realize how accurate it is."

[365days365movies]

February 12, 2021: If Beale Street Could Talk (2018) (Part 1)

I’m not ready for this.

Look, I’ve made it no secret that I’m Black-American. And while I’m not going to get hyper-personal on this blog most of the time, I know that this one’s going to hit me...hard. Which is especially odd because from what I know about this film, I grew up in a very different time and environment than what’s presented here.

Fact of the matter is, while I definitely didn’t grow up rich or terribly well-off, I also didn’t grow up in a neighborhood like Beale Street. I’ve lived in the woods, on the beach, on a farm, in the suburbs, etc. And I’ve also spent quite a bit of time in NYC, but I’ve never straight-up lived there or in any big city. And does that make my experience as a Black-American invalid by any means?

But it has made my ability to personally identify with films like these...complicated. Specifically because they do feel so very personal, and I don’t always feel like they should to me...and yet...

Yeah, OK. I’ve wanted to see this one for a while, even though I’m extraordinarily sure that it’s going to hurt me...it’s gonna hurt me a lot. And I promise, I’ll try to be funny here, but...WHOOF, we’ll see what happens. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

In the streets of New York City, in the 1970s, Clementine “Tish” Rivers (KiKi Layne) and Alfonso “Fonny” Hunt (Stephan James) are in love. This, however, is brought with a complication: Fonny has been wrongfully imprisoned for a crime he didn’t commit. This, remember, is amongst the highly racist 1970s NYC, and the circumstances of Fonny’s arrest were not uncommon at the time, that’s for sure.

Tish sees Fonny in prison, and tells him the news, or what should be good news: she is pregnant with their child. And while they’re both happy, they are also both saddened by the circumstances. They try to have hope, though, as Tish’s family has hired a lawyer for him.

That night, she breaks the news to her parents, Joseph (Colman Domingo) and Sharon Rivers (Regina King), and her sister Ernestine (Teyonah Parris). They’re all quite happy, and decide to celebrate by inviting over Fonny’s parents as well. There’s a bit of an issue, though: his mother Alice (Aunjanue Ellis) and his sisters Adrienne (Ebony Obsidian) and Sheila (Dominique Thorne) DESPISE Tish, and Alice especially is hyper-religious.

When they find out, Alice essentially curses the child with sickness in a disgusting speech, an absolutely disgusting display. And Fonny’s father Frank (Michael Beach) agrees, reacting in a...bad way; he slaps her, HARD. This eventually causes a verbal beatdown by both Ernestine and Sharon. As a sample, here’s Ernestine’s putdown to Adrienne.

Adrienne, baby! Ever since the first day I laid eyes on your very fine person, I got caught up in your Adam’s apple. Oh, I’ve been dreamin’ about it. And I couldn’t tell whether I wanna tear it out with my fingers or my teeth. And if you touch my baby sister, I’m gonna have to make up my mind real quick. So, touch her.

HOLY SHIT. And it’s such a harsh beatdown, it causes Alice and her daughters to leave the movie ENTIRELY. Good riddance, to be honest. They take off, and FLASHBACK!

We go back to the first time that the two of them spent the night together, if you know what I mean. And throughout the occasion, we get the idea that these two are...very much in love. This film does seem to show that they’re in a very loving relationship, and I’m honestly here for it. Also, thus far, NO INFIDELITY! Finally; hopefully it stays that way.

Tish and Sharon go to see a lawyer, Hayward (Finn Whitrock), who doesn’t seem to have much hope. It’s also here that we get a look at the case at large. See, Fonny was wrongfully accused of the rape of a Puerto Rican woman, Victoria Rogers. Her testimony, corroborated by the testimony of policeman Officer Bell, somewhat muddled the case, and sent Fonny to prison in the end.

In order to help, they’ll need to get Victoria, who’s fled and can’t be found. Meanwhile, the other witness in favor of Fonny, Daniel Carty, has his testimony discounted due to bias. He’s also been arrested by the DA, hinting at some potential corruption. Speaking of Danny (Brian Tyree Henry), we see him sharing his prison experiences with Fonny in a flashback. And that recounting is...Christ, it’s haunting.

Halfway point here! See you in the next one!

[nerianasims]

Billboards #1 1965

Under the cut.

Petula Clark – “Downtown” -- January 23, 1965

I love this song to bits. I don't entirely know why. Petula Clark obviously sings it wonderfully. There's that little bell that sometimes chimes in. There's a pattern to the song that makes it feel like Broadway, which is, of course, downtown. It's a fantasy version of a downtown in a big city. One thing I love about fantasy is a sense of place, and that's what this entire song is dedicated to. It's an unusual subject for pop music, and it's great.

The Righteous Brothers – “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling” -- February 6, 1965

How does one even talk about this song? It feels somehow eternal. This is Phil Spector's production at its best. But Bill Medley's singing is the point. This song is one of the greats.

Gary Lewis And The Playboys – “This Diamond Ring” -- February 20, 1965

Gary Lewis is Jerry Lewis' son. Unlike his father, he does not consist entirely of annoyance-producing molecules, but the song's not good either. In it, the guy's fiancee dumped him and he's selling the diamond ring. A boring, bland heartbreak song that belongs three years or so back.

The Temptations – “My Girl” -- March 6, 1965

My mom used to sing this song to me when I was a little kid. I think a lot of parents sing this song to their little girls; it's that kind of love song. Yet it's not irritatingly antiseptic. It's about true love. True love can be a lot of things. This song is every superlative you can think of. Brilliant in every aspect.

The Beatles – “Eight Days A Week” -- March 13, 1965 

It's a good, but not great, Beatles song. Very fun, with a lot of interesting things musically, like the bassline (as usual) and whatever George Harrison does with his guitar.

The Supremes – “Stop! In The Name Of Love” -- March 27, 1965

Finally, Diana Ross actually sounds kinda pissed off. It's also got more of a rock edge. She's still begging, and not threatening to leave the guy's cheating ass. Yet, though there is no explicit threat, I feel like there is an implied ultimatum here.

Freddie And The Dreamers – “I’m Telling You Now” -- April 10, 1965

It sounds like this guy is exaggerating his English accent. Considering the British Invasion, probably. He cackles like a monkey on acid, which is the only interesting thing about the song, which is otherwise a bland love song. Though the cackle is interesting, that doesn't make it good. It's creepy. I don't like this one.

Wayne Fontana & The Mindbenders – “The Game Of Love” -- April 24, 1965

"The purpose of a man is to love a woman, and the purpose of a woman is to love a man." Whoo boy. Dated. But the song is 55 years old. Attempting to put that aside, the music is good. The lyrics sound pushy, though. Also it gets terribly repetitive at the end. Meh.

Herman’s Hermits – “Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got A Lovely Daughter” -- May 1, 1965

Was it once usual for guys to go to their ex-girlfriends' mothers to talk of their heartbreak after the girlfriend dumped them? This song is painfully "look how English I am! You Americans like to throw money at English pop singers, right?" It wears out its welcome quickly.

The Beatles – “Ticket To Ride” -- May 22, 1965

It's interesting how the Beatles seem to have matured five years in one. I can't imagine this group having performed "I Want to Hold Your Hand." The harmonies and rhythms in "Ticket to Ride" are far more complex, the sounds are more varied, and the lyrics are much more mature. His wife/girlfriend is absolutely determined to leave him, and he seems taken by surprise. Yet there are hints he shouldn't have been: "She would never be free when I was around." He goes on, "My baby don't care." Yet underneath there's the suggestion that she simply hasn't got it in her to care any more, because he's exhausted her. Layers of harmony and layers of meaning. It's an intelligent heartbreak song, and those are rare.

The Beach Boys – “Help Me, Rhonda” -- May 29, 1965

I know Brian Wilson was a musical genius but I usually don't like the Beach Boys. It's the lyrics. The narrator was dumped, now he's begging Rhonda to be his rebound. Lucky Rhonda. Then they sing "Help me Rhonda/ Help, help me Rhonda" about five dozen times. Not for me.

The Supremes – “Back In My Arms Again” -- June 12, 1965

Urgh. Don't listen to the Supremes' #1 hits close together. She's got her man back because she stopped listening to her friends' advice. In isolation, there's nothing wrong with that. After all the songs about rotten cheating assholes whom the narrator is desperate to keep, though, it's super uncomfortable. Also using the names of the two backup singers as the friends who give bad advice is in poor taste. And "Flo, she don't know, cuz the boy she loves is a Romeo"? You solely date Romeos! Taken alone, without the context of the other songs, it's good, though I still don't like the strange insult toward the backup singers. Taken with the rest of the Supremes' hits, though, I'm not happy. Especially considering these were all written by men.

The Four Tops – “I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch)” -- June 19, 1965

The Supremes weren't the only people in Motown singing about being hopelessly in love with someone who treated them badly. That's what this song is about. I like it, though the line "I'm weaker than a man should be" is a bit wince-inducing these days. But it's an honest sentiment about how men often feel they're not allowed to be idiots over love, though that's a near-universal human experience. Anyway, good song.

The Byrds – Mr. Tambourine Man -- June 26, 1965

The original version of this song was by Bob Dylan, but the Byrds didn't like it, so they changed the sound and ditched a bunch of the lyrics. The lyrics they were left with don't matter at all. This is all about the music, especially the guitar. It's mellow without being soporific, groovy without requiring drugs to understand. It's nice.

The Rolling Stones – “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction” -- July 10, 1965

The Rolling Stones were almost never nice. They went straight for the gut -- or gonads -- found all the nastiest things that people are afraid to say and embarrassed to feel, and hung them up on the front porch. "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" sounds kind of silly today, since it's been played and overplayed so much. But that beginning riff still goes straight to the back-brain.

Two years before, pap like "Hey Paula" was clogging the airwaves. Funnily enough, it's the same subject matter: Goddamn I want to get laid. (The idea that Mick Jagger had trouble getting laid is pretty ridiculous, but anyway.) And then there's the critical bit about hating advertisements. They managed to stick a cultural criticism into a song that's about wanting sex. When you can't get no satisfaction, everything is annoying, and things that were already annoying to begin with start to feel unbearable. The Stones go harder in every way than any #1 before them.

Herman’s Hermits – “I’m Henry VIII, I Am” -- August 7, 1965

And here's the opposite. This song must be meant to be annoying, right? One of my friends and I used to sing it at our parents to drive them nuts, and that was before Ghost. It was their fault for exposing us to it in the first place.

Sonny And Cher – “I Got You Babe” -- August 14, 1965

Cher with Sonny is eternally confusing. Though their marriage didn't last, their love was real, and Cher was heartbroken when Sonny died. But anyway, the song. Sonny saying Cher has a "little hand" is goofy. Actually the whole song is kinda goofy, especially the beat that seems to be made of kazoos. Cher's got this powerful, deep voice, while Sonny has a squeaky little thing, but somehow they mesh. The sentiment is sincere, and a good picture of what it's like to be in a happy relationship. It's good.

The Beatles – “Help!” -- September 4, 1965

John Lennon was only 25 when he sang about being "younger, so much younger than today." But for the Beatles, that could have been two years before. They got so famous so fast and so young, I don't know how any of them lived through it. And that is what this song's about; Lennon called it a "public freak-out." But it's still universal. I love this song, and it helped carry me through some tough times.

Barry McGuire – “Eve Of Destruction” -- September 25, 1965

I remember when I first heard this song on the radio in the car with my mother, I asked her what "Old enough to kill/ But not for voting" meant. That's when I learned people used to not be able to vote until they were 21, though young men could be drafted at 18. I was absolutely stunned, and obviously it stuck with me. When you're a little kid, you tend to think the people in charge are generally fair. Then you find out that's not true at all. That's what this song is about, to me.

The McCoys – “Hang On Sloopy” -- October 2, 1965

Speaking of fair, I'm about to be totally unfair. I hate this fucking song. I had to play it endlessly in middle school band, and then I had to play it AGAIN in high school marching band. And the flute part in the arrangements was the most boring thing that has ever been conceived. I hate this song and I will not be listening to it or thinking about it more than this.

The Beatles – “Yesterday” -- October 9, 1965

Why do people in songs lose their significant others so often because they said something wrong and they don't know what it was? That can't be common. Anyway, this song is beautiful and sad. I'm kind of tired of all the covers of it though.

The Rolling Stones – “Get Off Of My Cloud” -- November 6, 1965

I'm listening to the original mono version of this, and mono sounds very strange these days. I keep wanting to check that my speakers are plugged in. Anyway, thanks to Jagger's marbles-in-mouth singing, I can't understand a word of this song except "Hey! you! get off of my cloud!" and I've never known the lyrics until now. And they're not important. Even the chorus isn't that important. This is all about the beat and the music, neither of which I find interesting for the entire length of the song. Not for me.

The Supremes – “I Hear A Symphony” -- November 20, 1965

A thoroughly happy Supremes song! I think Diana Ross is more suited to happy lovesongs than what she had been singing. She has a lot more emotion in her voice than she has before. The violins are lovely. I love this song.

The Byrds – “Turn! Turn! Turn!” -- December 4, 1965

I have always found this song slightly annoying. The Bible verse set to light pop thing doesn't do it for me. The music isn't anywhere near dramatic enough. This should be operatic, or heavy metal, or something else with serious weight. This is thin.

The Dave Clark Five – “Over And Over” -- December 25, 1965

This song is a bit of a throwback to three or four whole years before. It would have been good then. At this point, it's pretty boring. It's about going to a party he didn't want to go to, hitting on a girl, and getting turned down. The snare drum beat is very repetitive, and so is the melody. A big meh.

BEST OF 1965: "My Girl", with stiff competition.   WORST OF 1965: "I'm Telling You Now"

[isitgintimeyet]

Road To The Aisles

AO3

Previous

So first weekend in December, time to put the tree up! And time for another chapter. Hope you enjoy.

Thanks to @mo-nighean-rouge @happytoobserve @wickedgoodbooks for their support

Chapter 14 : An Unwarranted Repercussion

Margaret was not a ready lover, but where she loved she loved passionately, and with no small degree of jealousy.

― Elizabeth Gaskell, North and South

Even though Claire had turned her back on Tom, she could sense he was still there, awkwardly dancing. She was becoming more and more annoyed with his behaviour. Her enjoyment was being ruined by a drunken letch.

A drunken letch who now moved closer and whispered in her ear.

“If ye give me yer phone number, I can call and we could mebbe discuss a feature spread…” he emphasised the last word before continuing. “... benef… bene… good for all of us. I’d like tae see ye again. I dinna think Jamie needs tae know. Aye?”

His hand rested on the small of her back. Claire took a step back, away from him, dislodging his hand.

“No,” she replied fiercely. “That’s not going to happen. We don’t need your magazine that much. I don’t know what gives you the right to think I would even contemplate that. I have been polite to you all night, but no more. So just fuck right off.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Claire noticed Jamie brushing past people to get to them. He very deliberately came to stand between Claire and Tom, his hand possessively around her shoulders, pulling her tight against him. She could feel the tension in his body, ready to explode at any moment. Jenny disappeared off the dance floor to fetch Ian.

“I’ll thank ye tae no’ put yer hands on ma fiancée,” he hissed. “D’ye think I wouldna see? Ye try one more thing like that and, so help me god, drunk or no’ I will take ye outside and punch yer fuckin’ lights out.”

Tom pulled himself up to his full height, five inches less than Jamie, and stared challengingly at him, a slight smile on his face.

“Come on, let’s go. Ignore him… be the bigger man.” Claire tried to guide Jamie away, but he remained stationary, feet firmly planted.

Ian came up on Jamie’s other side. “Och, man, ye dinna want tae be bothering wi’ this drunken wee gobshite. Ye ken I always have yer back, but this shithead is no’ worth our energy. Let him be. Listen tae what Claire says. Time tae go home, I think.”

Jamie’s body relaxed slightly as he allowed Claire to guide him away. He momentarily turned back to Tom.

“I mean it. Ye better hope I never see ye again, Mister Christie.”

*****************

Jamie was silent on the taxi ride home, apart from the occasional instruction to the driver. Once inside the house, he locked the front door and headed straight for the bedroom, taking the stairs two at a time.

Claire pottered around downstairs for a few minutes before following.

Jamie was in the bathroom, cleaning his teeth. Claire pushed the door open and turned her back to him.

“Unzip me would you?”

With the toothbrush wedged in his mouth, he did as she asked, before moving back to the wash basin.

“Are we going to talk about tonight, Jamie? Or are you just going to carry on not speaking? Because if that's the case, you may want to think about where you're planning on sleeping tonight. I'm not sharing a bed with you and your shitty mood."

Having hung her dress up, Claire quickly popped an old t-shirt of Jamie’s on and sat on the bed waiting for him to join her. Eventually he came into the bedroom, a towel wrapped around his middle and sat beside her.

“So?” she prompted.

“Weel…” Jamie started then ground to a halt.

“Hmm?”

“Yer man, Tom Christie. I could see how he was, wi’ ye all evening… trying it on wi’ ye. I didna like it. I had tae say something tae him.”

“And you did. So it’s over. We don’t have to bother about him again.”

“It’s jes’...” he hesitated again, staring down at his hands. “It’s jes’... I didna like the way ye were talking tae him, dancing with him. Giving him encouragement, mebbe?”

Claire rose and went to stand in front of Jamie. She tried to keep her voice calm. “Let me get this straight. He was trying to flirt with me and somehow it’s my fault? I don’t know what to say.”

Calmness be damned, Claire decided. “Actually I do know what to say… and you will sit and listen to this, with no interruptions.”

She took a deep breath. “Yes, he was talking to me, and I was being polite, not flirty, polite. There is a difference.”

The anger was now clear in her voice. “I was polite, talking about the distillery, the whisky launch in Japan. Trying to encourage him to do a feature for the magazine. That’s why I didn’t want to be rude to him… for you and your family.”

“But what about when ye were dancing?”

“What about it? I was dancing with Jenny. You know how much I love to dance. I was having a great time and he came up to me. I wasn’t dancing with him, I was trying to avoid him.”

“Ye could have stopped dancing, come back tae the table.” Jamie was unwilling to back down, although, as he snatched a glance at Claire’s face he knew this was a big mistake. He had an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach that he was fighting the wrong battle. His fury was with Tom Christie and his drunken flirting and now he realised that he was taking it out on Claire.

Jamie tried to continue talking but Claire held a hand up to silence him.

“I’m speaking and you can talk when I’m finished. So I was supposed to stop doing what I was doing, what I enjoyed doing, because of him? Oh, that’s right,” Claire’s voice took on a sarcastic tone. “The solution to men behaving badly, or inappropriately, is always the same -- women are expected to change what they do, what they wear, what they say. Why it’s always the woman’s fault, I don’t know. When will men realise they have to change their behaviour, not expect us to be forced to change ours?”

As Claire paused to gather her thoughts, Jamie seized his opportunity. “I ken ye’re probably no’ finished and I will listen tae whatever else ye have tae say but…”

He reached out to take Claire’s hand. Reluctantly she let him hold it, letting it rest passively against his palm.

“... but ye’re right. What I expected ye tae do back there… I tried tae make ye accountable fer his behaviour. Ye did nothing wrong and I wanted ye tae change yer actions. I’m that furious wi’ Tom Christie and I tried tae take it out on ye. I’m sorry. Am I forgiven?”

Claire moved and sat next to Jamie on the end of the bed, her hand still in his. She lightly stroked his palm.

“Well, yes, but think about what I said. You’ve no need to be jealous. Remember that. And remember not to take it out on me either. That's not fair. I don’t let it bother me when women flirt with you.”

Jamie gave Claire a quizzical look.

“Oh come on, don’t give me that look, don’t pretend that you don’t notice when women try and flirt with you. That makeup artist the other week, for example, making eyes at you and telling me how gorgeous you are.”

“Nah, Sassenach, it wasna that --“ Jamie stopped abruptly. He had been about to say that it did bother Claire when a certain woman had tried to flirt with him, but suddenly realised that it would be a very bad idea to bring Geneva into this conversation. And, he told himself, it wasn’t Geneva trying to flirt that made Claire angry, it had been her blatant attempts to sabotage their relationship.

"... it was… er… I didna ken that you notice," he finished lamely.

“Of course I notice. I notice all the time. And I don’t have a go at you about it, do I?”

Jamie shook his head. “Sassenach, I’m sorry. Are we good now?”

“Ok. Just remember what I said though. Promise?”

“Promise.”

******************

Jamie tapped lightly on the door and, without waiting for an answer, poked his head into the office.

“Am I disturbing?” he asked Ian and Jenny, both sitting at the small meeting table set up in Ian’s office.

“Nae more than usual,” Jenny quipped, pulling a face.

“Ah, sisterly love is a grand thing,” Ian joked. “Nah, ye’re no’ bothering. In fact ye’ve timed it well. We’ve jes’ got the proofs from the advertising agency. Do ye want tae see?”

The proofs were spread across the table. All contained the same elements, a background of purple heather-clad hills, Claire’s barely tamed curls and eyes and, in the foreground, the amber whisky in either a glass or bottle on its side, obscuring the lower half of her face. The difference between the variety of images lay with her eyes - some crinkled with laughter, some wide and dreamy, staring into the distance and some with an indefinable glint. Indefinable, that is, to most people but Jamie could swear he knew exactly what she was thinking about.

“They’re breathtaking. The colour of Claire’s eyes next tae the whisky…”

“Aye, I ken,” Jenny replied. “‘Twas a great idea of yers. Seems Claire is truly becoming part of the family business, does it no’?”

“I love that. She really belongs here wi’ me… wi’ us.”

“She does and all. And Wee Jamie in the car this morning told us he’s going tae marry someone with curly hair who fixes people.” Ian smiled.

Jamie took another look at the images on the table. “I dinna ken which I’d choose. Good luck tae ye making that decision.”

“Actually,” Ian gathered up the sheets. “We’re going tae let Brian have the final say.”

“Anyway,” Jamie settled himself in a spare chair and opened up his iPad. “That’s no’ why I’m here. After all that stramash wi’ Tom Christie the other night, I didna think the magazine would be keen tae feature us, but no, here, I’ve an email from his daughter Malva. She’s head of marketing there, aye? And she’s asking if we would be willing tae let the magazine feature our Japanese launch. How good is that?”

He looked across the table at Ian and Jenny, sitting with a slight smile on her face.

“What do ye ken?” he asked Ian.

Ian shrugged his shoulders. “It’s no’ ma story.”

“Jenny?”

Jenny reached for Jamie’s iPad and quickly scanned the email.

“I didna realise, but Malva’s wee lad is at the same pre-school as Jamie. I didna ken as the bairn is no’ called Christie. Anyway, I happened to see her, fer the first time at drop off this morning. I may have mentioned in our conversation that her da had been on our table at the charity gala and may possibly have made a wee bit of a drunken tit of himself, leading to a slight difference of opinion with yerself. She kens the value of business, she willna want tae risk losing our advertising. Hence the email… trying tae get back in our good books.”

Jenny passed the iPad back to Jamie and continued. “I didna mention Claire tae Malva. It’s bad enough having a drunken dickhead for a father, let alone a drunken, lecherous one.”

Jamie laughed. “Jenny, ye’re a marvel, so ye are.”

“Aye, weel, dinna the two of ye ever forget it.”

[izzy-b-hands]

Rock/Queentober 2020, Oct. 16th: Ashes

Assigned band member for this day: Brian

Synopsis: Brian/ Trans M Reader. Set just before the beginning of the 1976 A Night At The Opera USA tour. Your father has recently passed, and it’s a hell of a time, as to be expected. But Brian is there to help you through it, at least. 

TW for death of a parent, though it isn’t described in detail. Also casual transphobia, and descriptions of reader having a shitty relationship with their father. 

My love to all who read/like/reblog!

“Thank you for coming with,” you say softly. 

The lights in the crematorium buzz, and you and Brian shift uncomfortably under their too-bright, clinical glow. 

But then, since your father had first taken ill, it had been uncomfortable. Awkward. 

He approved of Brian, in a general sense. But he had never liked Brian as a person. 

For that matter, your father hadn’t liked you much either. He loved you as parental obligation, but it was not a true love, and he didn’t show it often. When he did, it came in the form of trying to buy your love, offering you expensive things you didn’t want or to pay your rent for a month or two out of nowhere. But always with the catch that you would then do whatever he asked of you, after the money was given. 

You had never taken it. You had a job, and your own paycheck, and love to be found elsewhere with other people. So you had let your father keep all his money, and all the love that supposedly would have come with it on the condition of your obedience. 

The last day you’d visited him in hospice, he’d made all of that very clear, in a long, meandering, often hurtful lecture. 

“As a daughter...you were disappointing, but fine enough, for a girl,” he had coughed. “But as a son...” 

He had rolled his eyes, and asked the nurse checking his IV what she thought it would take for you to get the hint and finally leave him to die in peace. 

That was when you had left. No good-bye, even as the nurse had called after you, letting you know he wasn’t likely to last the night. 

You hadn’t cared then, and you didn’t care now as the crematorium employee handed over the medium-sized white box that held the urn which contained your father’s ashes. 

If he had cared at all, after you left, there was no way to know. And what did it matter? Out of all his children, you were the only one to show up when he first got sick. You brought him to England on your dime so he could receive care and not drown his family (wife and family number four) in medical debt. You offered to fly out your half-siblings, all of them, from wives 2-4, even offering your mum the chance to fly out if she desired, even if only to slap him once soundly. 

None of them had taken you up on it. Most of them hadn’t even replied, by phone or letter. But you had made up excuses for them all, when he got sad, asking where they were. 

You had done all that, and he hadn’t cared one whit. You weren’t the way he wanted you to be, so none of it had counted. 

“He didn’t have any requests, or anything in his will about it?” Brian asks, gesturing to the box as you walk together back to his car. 

You shake your head. “I wish he had. I don’t know what the fuck to do with them.” 

“Rude of him,” Brian says as he helps you into the car, careful not to jostle the box. “Just one last fuck you, it seems like...” 

“It really does,” you sigh, opening the box as you wait for Brian to get into the driver’s seat. The urn is bronze, and a little ugly, if you’re honest. But your father had picked it out himself, and he always did get most of what he wanted, didn’t he? No matter the end result or consequences. 

“Sorry,” Brian mutters as he slips into the seat, quickly starting the car and getting it pulled out into the mid-day London traffic. “Shouldn’t speak ill of the dead.” 

“If he didn’t want anyone speaking ill of him when he was dead, then he shouldn’t have been a fucking shithead in life,” you found yourself sobbing suddenly, the tears an unexpected and unwelcome surprise as they fell. 

“It’s okay,” Brian says gently. 

“It isn’t!” you protest, wiping harshly at the tears. “I want to throw this damned thing out the window!” 

Brian pulls into the nearest open spot on the side of the street. “Y/N-” 

“I hate this,” you whimper. “I said years ago: no more tears over him, or because of him. Not even one more! And yet here I am...” 

Brian undoes his seatbelt and leans close to hug you. “You can’t be upset with yourself for this. Anyone would cry; he may have been terrible and your relationship with him might have been shit, but-” 

You could see him choosing his words carefully. 

“You still knew him. For better or worse, he was in your life, and that means something. Not all good, not all bad, but a mix. And that means having a reaction to this moment, to him being gone.” 

“I don’t want him in our house,” you say as you close the box’s lid. 

“Okay,” Brian nods. “Is there anywhere in particular you want to put him? I mean, his ashes, I should say.” 

“No,” you sigh shakily. “I just want him away from us.” 

Brian’s wearing the look that comes up whenever he’s being clever, but feels unsure about it. “I might have an idea. You still want to come out on a few tour dates with us, yeah?”

“If you guys will have me,” you reply. “And so long as I won’t be in the way.” 

“Never,” Brian smiles, and kisses your forehead. “So then, if you aren’t sure of just one place for him, maybe you could bring him with, and...” 

After a moment, it clicks. “That’s brilliant. What would I do without that brain of yours?” 

“Be perfectly fine, because there are a great many days where you’re much more clever than I am,” Brian chuckles. “And more put together, too.” 

“That’s debatable,” you manage a smile. 

He shakes his head, then looks down. “Keys?” 

“Still in the ignition, love.” 

He blushes, utterly adorable, and nods. “Right. Where they would be, of course. Sorry; I swear I’m fit to drive.” 

For now, the urn has to come into the house with you, though you let Brian put it up on a high shelf in the hall closet. It’s difficult to do, but Brian makes it so much easier. 

And a few weeks later, as the tour begins, you lighten as the urn does. 

Part of him in Boston. A bit left in New York. Some in Chicago. And finally, the rest of him in San Diego. 

You bury the ashes deep in the dirt, under the watchful eye of the public park warden who has given you permission to spread the ashes there. 

She leaves as soon as you’re done, leaving you and Brian alone, staring at the miniscule mound of disturbed dirt. 

He wraps an arm around you. “Feeling better?” 

You nod. “A little. At least he’s truly gone now. I wonder what he’d think of all this anyway, us doing this with his remains. If he’d find it neat, or hate it utterly.” 

“That’s the beauty of this,” Brian says. “He’s gone. He can’t weigh you down with his thoughts or feelings or insults or complaints anymore. All that ugly shit he used to say to you is as dead as he is.” 

“It is,” you sigh happily.

“And you’re here, and alive, and beautiful,” Brian continues. “What say we take that urn back to the hotel and leave it there, then have a walk round here before I have to get to the venue?” 

You nod and follow him out of the park, but stop at the sight of an open dumpster near the park entrance. 

He shakes his head as you toss the urn into it. “I thought you might, as soon as I saw it.” 

“He wouldn’t care anyway,” you say, as you pull him back into the park. “And even if he did, who cares? He isn’t here to yell at me about it, and I wouldn’t care for what he had to say regardless.” 

You know better than to kiss right there, the looks you’ll get. But Brian pulls you down a path with only one woman on it, and as soon as she passes, he kisses you deeply, but sweetly. 

“My father had no idea of how good you are,” you can’t help but whisper as you continue down the path with him. “But I do. And I’m so glad I have you.” 

“He had no idea how good you are either,” Brian replies. “No idea who he missed out on getting to know, to care for. I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to be someone who has gotten to do what he didn’t, albeit in a different way.” 

For the rest of the quiet path, before you reach other people again, you take his hand. 

You won’t say now, because who knows exactly what the future might be. But you know that when you go, you hope Brian will keep your ashes at home. On a mantel, or a side table. Somewhere near him, whenever he’s home. 

[dailyaudiobible]

03/12/2021 DAB Transcript

Numbers 16:41-18:32, Mark 16:1-20, Psalms 55:1-23, Proverbs 11:7

Today is the 12th day of March welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it's great to be here with you today as we continue our journey, the journey that leads us through the Bible in a year. And we’re well on our way in that journey. But there is so much out in front of us to experience and see. And, so, we have a grateful heart for the distance that we’ve traveled and the things we've learned so far. But we also have a grateful, an anticipation, a grateful anticipation, for all that is yet to…to be, all it is out in front of us. But we’re here. We’re right here right now. And, so, the next step forward is before us. We’ve been reading from the New International Version this week. Picking up from yesterday. Numbers chapter 16 verse 41 through 18 verse 32.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. And as we bring to a close the second of the gospel narratives, the book of Mark, we thank You for the witness to Your life and to Your ministry and to Your personality and to Your posture. We've witnessed Your determination to bring the truth out into the open and that the false be eradicated. And yet we’re 2000 years in the future and we’re still in the same struggle. And, so, come Holy Spirit You have promised to lead us into all truth and yet so often we choose to veil ourselves in something false because we’re naked and ashamed and running because we’re afraid to be exposed. And so often that comes because we…we’re ashamed. And maybe for good reason. Maybe we have plenty of things that we’ve been involved in while bearing Your name that we shouldn't have been involved in, and were they exposed we would be ashamed. But we’re here with open hands and open hearts saying remove these things from us, reveal these things to us, reorganize our lives, bring us back into complete alignment so that we are who we are supposed to be, and we have nothing to hide, we are true, we are true and righteous before You. Come Holy Spirit we pray. Make us more like Jesus, that we might be conformed to his likeness, that we would be Christ like, that we would be like Christ. Come Jesus we pray. In Your precious name, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base, it's where the Global Campfire burns in a virtual world. So, it’s home base, it’s where you find out what’s going on around here. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app you can find out what's going on around here using the app as well. Just know about the drawer icon in the upper left-hand corner.

You push that and it opens up a drawer and then you find like the Community section, which is where the Prayer Wall is and where we…we continually pray for each other and ask for prayer. So, be aware of that. That's also where there are different links to social media channels we participate in. So, the Community section, that's where to find these things.

Also check out the daily audio Bible Shop. There are resources there for our journey that kinda cover all kinds of different spectrums.

Check out the Daily Audio Bible Wind Farm coffee. We roast it fresh and send it to you whether you just want to bag or whether you'd like a couple bags delivered per month. We can do that. There's a whole coffee club or coffee or tea club. I have been a coffee snob a long, long time but I have found deep love for tea as well and usually throughout the course of a day drink some of both. So, I’m…I’m kinda in the middle there. But I…I love them both and love what we’re doing in sourcing these and roasting these and offering them fresh. It's a tactile thing. When it shows up its this touch point in the mail that we’re a community and we’re going through this together. And I drink coffee well I'm doing the Daily Audio Bible, while we’re doing this work. And, so, at least for me it's just a reminder constantly of a community out there all over the world seeking God through the Scriptures, seeking direction and clarity for life and seeking community together. And, so, all these little things like coffee and tea, all these different resources connect us together in one way or another. And, so, check out the Daily Audio Bible Shop.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible in the mission that we hold in common to just keep day by day step-by-step taking the next step forward, bringing the Scriptures fresh every day offering them to the world and taking the journey in community, sailing across a year together on the voyage of a lifetime. If that is something that matters to you then thank you for your partnership. There is a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, of course, as always, we’re a community that prays for each other. And if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hello, my dear DAB family this is Maria Missionary in Mexico. So, as you know we are here to be a service to the people the missionaries who work among the native indigenous people groups here. A lot of people ask, “why are you in Mexico? Isn't it a reached country already?” You know what? Missions has evolved through the years and I think of the old days people just kind of thought that if they came spoke the national language to…to the native people, that they would understand, get saved, and that would be that but it just didn't work out like that and a lot of the people have…have syncretism, which is they took Christianity just kind of what they understood of it which wasn't a lot and mixed it with their native beliefs. And, so, for example in the Guataheal tribe they believe that the sun in the sky is god the moon is his wife and they had two children, they had Satan and Jesus and Satan is the older brother. They are the children of god and the rest of us in the world are the rest children are the devil. And their god only speaks Guataheal, he doesn't speak Spanish or any other language. So, if you go to them and tell them we have a message for you from God in Spanish well you can imagine they automatically dismiss you because it doesn't make sense to them culturally. So, that's just a little bit of a taste of what missionaries that work among native groups face as they translate the Bible and love these people and help them with their physical needs and plant churches. So, please be praying. Please be praying for missionaries who do work among them, that they would have wisdom, and that…that hearts would be open to hear the truth. Also praise the Lord with us that there is a church now among the Guadaheal people, a young church and that there are missionaries from among them as well helping with the translation and one lady and her husband are reaching out to an entirely new tribe for her. So, that's really exciting.

Hey neighbors it's Lisa the Encourager. Today I want to reach out to Maria and her daughter Taylor. And I heard your story and it really gripped me. And I just can't even imagine what your heart must be feeling every day thinking about your sweet Taylor that you gave birth to and you never dreamed that something so awful could happen to her. And I just pray tonight especially for Taylor and I just want you to know that my heart aches for you and I know that God is gonna be able to see this through for you and I am going to pray now. Dear God thank You for Maria and thank You for her being brave to call us this evening and tell us about Taylor and Taylor’s story Lord. And we know that You love Taylor so much and You do not want this for her life. And God thank You so much for the ministry of the men that are going to intervene in Taylor's life and do their best to take her out of the horrible situation with somebody. And I pray God that that will be successful. I thank You so much for the bravery of those men and I just pray that they will be…and women…I pray that they will be able to convince Taylor to leave and that You will just break her heart and help her to give up and surrender to You Lord. And I just pray God that You will forgive her and help her to get her life back and lead her with the Holy Spirit back to You.

Hello DAB family this is Greg from Bothell. I…I've called before for…for my own prayer requests but today I just feel led to…to reach out and…and let some DABbers know that I'm…I’m listening to…to your requests and I want to just take the time to acknowledge you all. Just I've been behind a little bit and I'm going through the 5th of…of…of March and I listened to Lynn and her family, her grandchildren, her four grown children and her daughter and this unbeliever husband that's inattentive. I just I'm going pray that Lord Jesus just will open his eyes and…and…and…and reveal himself to…to this this family and this father that…that…that he will take care of you and…and keep you in…in…in his loving arms. Maria follower of Jesus, daughter Taylor 26 that's in this…this relationship with this man that's pimped her out and she's…she's involved in drugs and prostitution and this massage parlor and…and…and team Andrew that's going in to rescue her. O Lord Jesus just…I just pray for Taylor and Maria and Andrew that You would…that You would be there in the midst this that You would come Lord. O my God Lord rescue Taylor and bring her home. O Lord Jesus and…and…and Julie in southern Illinois, your marriage, that God God…that God use you and He knows your heart and He knows your husband's heart. And Lord I just pray that You rescue Julie in her desperation and her sadness. In her loneliness she says she's lost…

Good morning DAB. Good morning DAB family it's Nadene calling from East to Midwest praises to God. Woo…out of breath…I just lifted something, but anyway praises to God. This morning as I was listening to Brian March 9th and listening to the prayer requests. There's so much I could pray for. And add to all who had prayed for all the others…others who had asked for prayer I just want to say DAB family we are a strong bunch. I mean those who are going through things right now it's so difficult. And, you know, of course I won't make light of it, but we are winning. You are on a winning team. It's a fixed fight and we've already won the fight. God is so good and I just love the fact that this DAB team is getting stronger and bolder and we are praying in faith and we are believing in faith and we're gonna to win. We're gonna win. So, let's keep our eyes with eyes looked to eternity and from eternity because it's just one big story, God's story and we are blessed to be a part of it. It's not an easy…not an easy journey. Once you become, you know, a follower of Jesus we have a target on our back and somehow, it's an honor to know that the enemy feels that…feels that we are such a threat. Anyway, God bless you everybody and I just wanted to put my log in the fire. Nadene from East to Midwest. God bless.

Hello Daily Audio Bible community my name is Kelly from Boston Mass and I called in last fall. My husband and I have been separated for almost a year. It'll be a year this month and I called in for prayers of reconciliation and restoration in healing. And we had our first grandchild that was due to arrive or did arrive on New Year's Day. So, it was a beautiful way to start the 2021 year out. We celebrated our 32nd wedding anniversary last Thursday night. Ironically, I was listening to Brian because it was his anniversary with DAB. And it was…it just breathed some life into me that there might be some light or some kind of shift in my husband's heart for us to restore our marriage. I can feel little nudges from God here and there and I'm trying to pay attention to them. We have a long way to go but I just want prayers from all of you if you can that this 32 year marriage can be saved. We hadn't seen each other in a couple of months, and we had very little communication, but it was probably one of the nicer anniversary dinners we've had in many years. So, again I'm just praying and hopeful that God will find our way…help us find our way back to each other and have a healing and happy second half to our marriage and a beautiful ending together with our first grandson born on New Year's Day. I appreciate the prayers and I pray for you all on a daily basis. I love this app. Thank you.

Good morning family it is Wednesday March 10th. Good morning good morning. I'm calling in a prayer request anonymously. Hence, I have gotten myself into a pickle. I have taken my eyes off Christ and put them on myself and what I want and what I desire and who I desire and how I can get what I want. And spoiler alert it's a hot mess. O my goodness friends and family, turns out when you take your eyes off Christ and you focus only on yourself it's harmful and sin is the result and sin damages relationships. And, so, I'm watching the fallout of all these relationships be harmed because I took my eyes off God and put them on myself. Friends, cautionary tale. If you would lift me up and just really help me put my eyes back on God and what He wants and the work He has for me and prayers for the healing of the relationships I've damaged through my sin. Thank you, friends and family. Peace to you.

[mymelodyheart]

Forget Me Not Chapter 7 ~The Family Gathering~

"Are ye sure ye want to be the one to tell them, Sassenach? I had it already in mind what to tell ma and da, and I'm more or less prepared," Jamie said as he handed the last of the washed plates to Claire, giving her a reassuring smile. 

"I'm definitely sure," Claire replied softly, flipping the dishcloth over her shoulder as she put away dishes in the cupboard. "Since I'm very much involved, I really ought to say something. Ma and da would probably be interested in what I have to say too. You can tell them about Annalise afterwards." 

Annalise. Christ! How could I have forgotten about her? 

Although Claire was a picture of calm, Jamie could feel the anxiety and nervousness rioting through her. It's a sixth sense he had developed where she was concerned. Jamie was very familiar with the nuances of her emotions, expressions and behaviour. And even after her six years of physical absence in his life, he could still read her like a book.

Earlier, during dinner, Jamie had announced his wish for a family meeting after their meal. Usually a loud affair, with everyone talking at the same time, the banter and chatter were toned down a notch as they noted the seriousness in Jamie's voice. Ellen, his mother, though looking a tad worried, tried to lighten the mood with a smile. "Of course, Jamie, dear. We will take our drinks in the living room after we're done eating...that's if the whole family are in agreement."

Everyone nodded in reply while Brian harumphed when his wife gave him a look, knowing he'd rather be watching sports on TV after his meal.

Although curiosity and concern were etched on everyone's faces, no one asked any questions, preferring to wait until they were all gathered in the family room. Seeing the attention had turned to Claire as they noticed her fidgeting on her seat and her face turning crimson, Jamie tried to downplay the situation by asking Geillis and Jenny's fiance, Ian, to join the family meeting.  Fuck it! They might as well know.

After dinner, Claire had volunteered to clear up, and Jamie had joined her, offering to wash the dishes while she dried. He presumed she needed time to gather her thoughts and probably, to sort out the many emotions he'd seen displayed on her face.  Christ, is she having doubts about us?

The night before, following the news of Annalise's cervical cancer and pregnancy, they both went home lost in their own thoughts, holding each other's hands after Jamie called for a cab. Claire's mere presence was a relief. How many times had they sat in silence whenever he was troubled as kids, and not a word would pass through their lips, her solace and support speaking in volumes. He still had doubts about Claire's true feelings and hoped she wasn't confusing her sibling affection for him as a love between a man and a woman that desired one another. Having kissed her and felt her respond to him after years of hoping she felt the same way, his heart felt like two stones grinding together, knowing he would be leaving soon.  It's far too soon when we should be enjoying the beginnings of a committed relationship.  But it had always been that way with her - others' needs before hers, and he felt like a reprobate and a scumbag for not giving Annalise's plight much thought.  There will be enough time for that!  Jamie had five days before he departs for France and he meant to spend every second with Claire before he goes. 

Growing up, they had been demonstrative with their affection for one another and were thick as thieves, but Jamie couldn't help but notice of late, Claire's sudden shyness whenever he was near. She was full of contradictions as there was nothing shy about her kisses when she was in his arms. Probably too much, too soon, he thought, and it didn't help that he couldn't keep his hands off her. Claire's responsiveness to his kisses took every shred of decency he possessed not to take it any further, thinking he might frighten her away.  Damn it!  He wished sometimes they didn't have those shared childhood memories labelled as siblings because it made their current relationship seem wrong in her eyes.

Without much thought of anyone that may walk in on them, he suddenly took Claire's hand and led her to the walk-in pantry. She didn't say a word, her smile hinting she knew what he was up to. In the small confines of the tiny room, he brought her up against him, enfolding her in a hug that made the world seem right again. He wanted so badly to reassure her that there was nothing wrong with what they felt for one another.

"Sassenach, after we've talked to everyone...ye and I...we're going to have a very long talk too," he muttered, grazing his teeth at the side of her neck. He heard a delicate whimper, and his heart started to race.  Oh fuck!  How could he concentrate on the task at hand when Claire reacts like that every time he touched her. It blew his mind that she enjoyed his kisses as much as he did.

"Talk sure, but kissing is better," she whispered, her hands pulling down his neck to bring his mouth closer to hers.

He resisted, though it pained him to do so. He'd taken to heart what Claire had said about doing the right thing by Annalise, but he needed to sort whatever is between them before he goes. "Christ Claire, I'm trying my hardest to be grown-up here and do the right thing when all I want is to be with ye. When I leave for France, there should be nae doubts between us and I need to know if ye'll be waiting for me. I'm all in, Sassenach...all the way in, and I want ye more than anything in life and always have, but I want ye to be sure if this is what ye want...us..."  Christ, being responsible is too fucking painful.

Claire seemed to search for the right words, as Jaime held his breath. "Yes, Jamie, I'm all in, if you are." 

It was all he needed to hear. "Good lass..." Then his mouth crushed down on Claire's for an intense kiss, willing whatever trepidation she had to vanish.

..........

This is what I want, right? Jamie...yes definitely. What if Annalise's health improves and Jamie falls in love with her again? What if the baby is his? Oh God, why am I sending this beautiful man who wants me away? It's too late to change my mind now. Fickle is immature and childish. Yes, I'm all in. I can do this. Oh fuck, what if I can't? 

One of her other biggest worries was, disappointing the only family she had left. It didn't help that memories of her being ostracised in school kept resurfacing for being unconventional. Now that she was back, what would the people that knew her, say. All she ever wanted was to fit in, and Jamie, for as long as she can remember, had always made sure she belonged. Now he wants her to belong to him...to be with him. Would that be acceptable in the eyes of the people that knew and love the Fraser family? Would ma and da be disappointed? This was in a hamlet where views and beliefs were still stuck in the past and very old fashion. In a lot of people's eyes, fostered or not, she was the Frasers' daughter, even though she had retained her real parents' name. For far too long, she suppressed the attraction she felt towards Jamie, not even daring to let it dwell in her thoughts, thinking it was unethical. Surely, not anymore, in this day and age.

Claire chewed her bottom lip, as she checked her phone, aware that Jamie's eyes were on her. She didn't want to raise her head in case someone saw the dread plastered on her face.

Everyone was seated in the family room, except for Brian. He had gone to retrieve a bottle of whisky from the cellar to replenish the drinks' cabinet as they all waited apprehensively...save for Geillis. She had a knowing smile on her face, having a fair idea of what is about to transpire. Claire avoided sitting next to Jamie and sat next to Willie instead. She knew the rest of the family would find it odd as she and Jamie had always sat together whenever possible when they were growing up, Ellen often mentioning that they were attached at the hip. Their usual seat was occupied by Ian and Jenny, a single armchair that they would have normally squeezed into.

"Right...so everyone has a glass?" Brian walked in with the whisky, and everyone perked up, eager for the family talk to get started.

Oh, God, here goes nothing.   Claire had prepared her speech and had been going through it in her head for the last fifteen minutes. She watched as Brian poured whisky in each glass, and when it came to her, she whispered, "Make it a treble, da." She was beyond caring. She needed the drink badly.

Without saying anything, Brian cocked an eyebrow at Claire as he poured her desired measure. Once the whisky was served, he settled down next to Ellen. "Alright, what's the meeting all about then, Jamie?" Brian addressed, asserting his position as the head of the family.

Before Jamie, could reply and before her bravado could leave her, Claire jumped onto her feet, surprising Willie and almost spilling his drink. "I'll go first," she announced in a cracked voice, as she walked into the middle of the room, facing the semi-circle formation of the occupied seats. She swigged her whisky and took one big swallow before continuing. "I have something to say too."

Nobody said a word except for a few "Ohs.". They weren't expecting her to commence the assemblage, but they all looked at her with surprised curiosity. Claire was about to speak further when it occurred to her, the speech she had prepared mentally, had gone flying out the window.  Oh fuck!  She slammed her eyes shut, trying to find the words.  Wing it, Beauchamp, for fuck sake, just wing it!  She looked at her audiences' eager faces, urging her to say something and decided to concentrate on one face. Jenny's! Her expression was always deadpan and the least distracting. 

Inhaling deeply, she let the words flow out. "I'm in love, " Claire blurted, regretting the outburst half a second later. 

Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ! Did I just say that! Too late Beauchamp...keep winging it!  It wasn't supposed to come out that way. Claire continued to grope in the dark for the speech she prepared, but the carefully memorised words remained elusive. She glanced quickly at Jamie. He was shaking his head with his eyes closed, a hand holding his forehead. He knew too that wasn't how it was supposed to come out.  Too late!

There was a hushed silence, as she refocused her attention on Jenny, whose face was slowly breaking into a smile and her head bobbing for Claire to continue while squeezing Ian's hand.

"Oh, that's lovely dear, " Ellen gushed, and in her periphery, Claire saw her foster mother lay both hands on her chest awaiting what her next words would be.

"Who's the lad?" Brian asked, seemingly unaffected by the announcement.

"Is it Frank?" Willie chimed in, a disappointment already forming his face.

Geillis didn't say a word. There was an irritating smug look on her face, and Claire knew, her friend was entertained by the whole scenario.

"I'm in love with one of my siblings."  Damn, damn, damn, it still came out wrong. Oh, fuck, never mind!  Indeed never mind...there it was now, out in the open. Claire let out a breath she'd been holding and waited. She saw Jenny's eyes widened, and Ian straightened up from his slumped position, while everyone remained hushed. She realised her gaze was still unwaveringly focused on Jenny.

It was Jenny who spoke first, her words coming out slow and careful. "Claire lass, ye're in love with me?"

Ellen gasped, and Jaime groaned.

Claire felt mortified at the misunderstanding. "Oh no, not you, Jenny! I do love you but no...oh God, not that way. Jesus! This is all coming out wrong, isn't it?"  Oh fuck!

"Claire, sweetheart which one of the lads?" Brian asked his voice steady and firm, seemingly the only one who understood the drift of what she was trying to say and understanding her discomfort.

Momentarily closing her eyes, she pointed a finger towards Jamie's direction, just like a child after being asked by a teacher who the culprit was.  Christ why couldn't I have just said his name...I'm such an idiot!  There was a long deafening silence, that seemed to go on forever. She hoped when she opened her eyes, they would all have disappeared. Unfortunately for her, when she did, they were all still there, their faces a picture of  awe?  That can't be, right? Not Willie's tone though.

"Jamie, what have ye done?" It was Willie, sounding displeased as if he had caught his younger brother doing something forbidden.

"What do you mean, what have I done?" Jamie retorted, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

Claire spun around to look at Willie, his face was full of accusation. Then it dawned on her what her older foster brother must have been thinking. It was blowing all across his features like a red flag. "For fuck sake, Willie...lay off Jamie, will you! He's done nothing wrong. If you must know, I've never been with a man...I'm a virgin!"  Oh sweet mother of God, too much information....why can't I fucking shut my mouth up.

"Ye are?" Jenny and Willie asked simultaneously, their eyes genuinely wide as saucers in disbelief.

In the background, she could hear Geillis trying to smother a giggle.  Damn her! She started all this with her French kiss lessons!

Claire didn't know whether to laugh or cry, but she could feel hysteria rising up from the pit of her guts. If she hadn't been in the middle of this shamble, she would have found the situation amusing. Unfortunately, she had created this for herself, and she wished the floor would open up and swallow her whole.

Before Claire could respond and say anything more, Jenny got up from her seat and squealed, hugging her tight. "Oh Claire, I've had my suspicions over the years, but I wasn't too sure. Ah ye wee dafty, is that why ye been acting funny these days?" And then she turned to Jamie. "Weel, lad...I suppose ye ken about this?"

It wasn't the reaction Claire was expecting. She looked at each of their faces staring at her. There was no look of disapproval nor reproach. Surprise yes and a hint of a smile from ma and da, while Willie's expression remained indiscernible as he looked on impassively.

Jamie nodded with a grin, winking at Claire. She could see the tension, had eased from his shoulders. "I have been in love with Claire for years, but I only told her yesterday," he confessed, the tips of his ears turning pink as everyone's attention turned to him.

"And I'm only hearing this now?" Willie asked his brother in a clipped voice, a frown marring his brow.

Claire glanced over at Willie to find him, what seemed like to her, scowling at Jamie. She thought this behaviour was odd as Willie was the most mild-mannered and least temperamental out of the three siblings.

"Ye were tae busy adulting, Willie...ye wanted nought to do with us children, in case ye've forgotten," Jamie pointed out, his lips twitching.

It was apparent to Claire that Jamie caught that funny tone on Willie's voice. Jamie had only told the truth as there was five years age gap between the brothers and growing up, Jamie was closer to Claire than he was with Willie and Jenny.

Her attention riveted to Ellen, as she stood up from her seat. Claire's heart skipping a beat, she waited with bated breath for what Ellen had to say. "Och, darling, my baby girl...come here." Claire blinked, as she was pulled into her arms, one hand stroking the back of her head. "Sweet, sweet, girl is in love with my boy."

Claire stifled a sob, as a wave of relief washed over her. Oh, how she had wanted their approval so much and now that she had it, she couldn't be any happier. She knew Jamie must feel the same way too. But the discussion was far from over as there was the case with Annalise to be told. She looked at Brian over Ellen's shoulder, who simply nodded and raised his tumbler of whisky as if to say, he was happy for them too. 

"Oh, God, ma...I thought you'd be mad."

"Mad?" Ellen appeared surprised. "Why should I be mad, darling? Love is something that comes to us all when we least expect it." Then Ellen leaned closer to her ears. "I'm just glad it was with ye Jamie has fallen in love with." 

She could hardly believe what Ellen was saying, as she stood there stupidly trying to take in all their reactions.

Claire was brought back from her thoughts when Brian brought their attention to him with a knuckle rap on the coffee table. "So, are we all done and sorted? Can I go now and watch the footie?" Everyone laughed. Brian didn't seem too bothered about Jamie and Claire's news, but he looked happy enough to ease Claire's worries.

"Er...da, we're not done yet. There's something else..." Jamie added quickly before everyone dispersed from the room.

"Aye, weel, get on with it, lad. I don't have all evening, ye ken."

The family remained seated as Jamie took Claire's place on the floor, explaining the situation with his ex-girlfriend. Although they felt sorry for Annalise's plight and didn't doubt Jamie's words when he said he doesn't think the baby she was carrying was his, the sad story was overshadowed by Claire's earlier confession. None of them had ever met Annalise; hence the lack of emotional connection. It was only Ellen who voiced her approval of what Jamie planned to do...the right thing.  Just in case...just in case the child Annalise is carrying is Jamie's and would be left orphaned if Annalise did die.

Claire looked around to ask Willie what he thought, but instead, she found an empty seat that he occupied earlier. She felt a tinge of sadness in her heart, as she wanted him badly to approve of her relationship with Jamie. 

...........

Later alone in her room, Claire let out a massive sigh of relief, but it was short-lived as her thoughts wandered back to reality. Jamie will be leaving for France in five days, to see another woman. His ex-girlfriend, no less. Oh God, for once, she wanted to be selfish, and she didn't want him to go. She looked at her reflection on the dressing table's mirror. Jesus, no wonder everyone... well almost everyone, can read her like an open book. Her expression was the epitome of conflicted.  No, stop it, Beauchamp, get a grip! He will be back before you know it.   She knew she will be busy enough once the hotel re-opens and hours will be rigorous to keep her mind preoccupied.

The door opened slowly, and Jamie let himself in. Claire had been expecting him after he gave her a nod earlier before she ran up the stairs. Their knack for understanding each other's unspoken communication had become finely honed over the years. 

Standing before her, Jamie's sheer size made her room suddenly seemed so small. He had always been a tall lad for his age while growing up, but over time, he had filled out too nicely. Having taken off his sweatshirt earlier, his grey top hugged tightly across the expanse of his muscular chest and taut washboard abs. Awareness crept over her, lifting goosebumps down the length of her arms, making her thighs feel like gelatin. Her breath hitched when he lifted her up from her dressing table seat and took her place, settling her on his lap with her legs, straddling his thighs. Her wrists locked automatically behind his neck.

He pressed his forehead against hers, a beautiful smile forming his lips. "How are ye, Sassenach? It wasna too bad earlier, was it?" he murmured, adjusting his hold to bring her closer against his chest.

She laughed if somewhat a wee bit shakily, his warm breath on her face doing wonders to her insides. "Not too bad? I thought you were dying a little out there, every time I opened my mouth to speak."

"Mmm, speaking of mouth, I thought the evening would never end. All I could think of is kissing you," came Jamie's low voice from her thick curls hanging around his shoulders. Claire could feel a finger tugging at a lone tendril. "This house has far too many people. How about we go to my house for a bit of privacy?"

Claire knew precisely what Jamie meant. In Frasers' household, nobody ever knocks on the door...they simply walked in. Although their secret wasn't secret anymore, she didn't want anyone walking on them while kissing. "Privacy to do what?" she teased, smiling against his lips as he brushed his mouth tantalisingly across hers.

"We can stay the night there. I have a mattress I use when working late in the house. We can carry it next to the fireplace, and we'll bring extra blankets and duvets." Mistaking her shudder for apprehension, he pulled away and looked directly into her eyes. "We're just going to cuddle, Sassenach and maybe talk a little. I want to spend a lot of time with ye before I go to France if that's alright?" His hands caressed her back and arms, his eyes, dark and intense, betraying how aware he was of her as she was of him.

"Of course Jamie, I would like that." She hardly heard her own voice when she replied as she felt a stirring coming to life inside of her. Yearning for something she couldn't verbalise, there was an unexpected awareness of emptiness in places she never knew, that she understood with sudden clarity, only Jamie could fill. "I'll just grab a few things. But before we go, I need to have a word with Willie," she croaked, her mouth suddenly feeling parched.

"Aye, do that, and I'll grab a few blankets and other things." He stood up, lifting Claire away from him, the gravelly tone of his voice revealing his effort of exercising control. "Don't take too long!" 

..........

Claire looked everywhere for Willie and finally found him sat outside on the doorstep, cradling an empty glass.

"Hey! There you are"

Willie looked up at her, scooting to the side so she can sit down. "Hey to ye too," he replied with a weak smile, dragging a hand through his hair.

"Want a top-up?" Claire showed a bottle of whisky she brought with her and took out her own glass from her jacket pocket. "It's cold out here, and I thought this should warm you up."

"Aye, thank ye." He watched as she poured the whisky. "Ye've developed quite a taste for excellent single malt over the years haven't ye?"

She laughed, raising the glass to him. "Does that mean, I'm officially a Scot?"

"Not quite. Ye still have that bloody posh English accent. I dinna ken how ye managed to hang on to it after all these years living here." When Claire didn't reply, he purposely bumped his shoulder against hers. "But ye ken, it doesnae matter if ye still carry the name Beauchamp...to me ye'll always be a Fraser."

Claire smiled, grateful that the frown on his face was gone. "Willie... I want to know if...if you disapprove of Jamie and me." She paused, taking a sip of her amber liquid. "You didn't look too happy in there earlier. And it's important to me that you don't hate me for it."

He laughed without humour as he took a sip of his own drink. "Ach, don't mind me, Claire. You know fine that I don't hate ye. I was probably just shocked. I dinna expect..." Willie swallowed hard. "I dinna expect ye and Jamie. I always thought ye were just a couple of kids beings kids. Don't worry about it."

"That's good. I'm glad..." Claire whispered. "Actually, I expected the shock reaction more from Jenny and ma and da...but, not from you."

Willie cocked an eyebrow, looking at her this time. "Aye? Really? Why is that?"

"I don't know. I guess maybe it's because you rarely told me off or disapproved any of my life decisions. And I've done a lot of crazy things in my travels that you knew about and ye were the only one that I managed not to shock. Remember when I did that bungee jump? Christ, I received a lot rollicking from everyone, especially ma and Jamie...but you...you thought it was bloody brave of me."

Willie laughed out loud, the sound of his laughter more sincere this time. "Aye, that was brave of ye. I've always admired yer passion for adventure. I like the fact that ye dae what ye love to dae..." He shook his head, smiling. "Are ye happy, Claire?"

"Yes...very happy but sad at the same time that Jamie will be leaving soon." Then remembering it was her idea to send Jamie to Annalise, she added with a slightly defensive tone, "But I know he'll be doing the right thing, right? What do you think?"

He sighed and opened his arms to give her a hug. Claire scooted nearer and laid her head on his shoulder, his arms going around her back. "I cannae answer that Claire, but If I was Jamie, I wouldn't even think of leaving ye," Willie whispered, his eyes faraway looking into the dark of the night.

"Sassenach, are ye ready?" Jamie asked softly as he stood in the doorway, looking down at them.

Willie and Claire hadn't heard Jamie approached nor the door opened. "Just give me a minute Jamie...I shan't be long," Claire replied, inclining her head towards him. Then she turned to Willie. "I'll see you tomorrow? Jamie is taking me to his house."

Willie nodded with a smile. "Aye, see ye tomorrow. And leave the whisky behind, please. I think I'll sit here for a while."

Claire handed the bottle to him. "Don't drink the whole bottle, alright? Leave some for tomorrow. And here..." Claire took the scarf from her neck and gave it to him. "Sit on this or else the steps will freeze your arse off."

Willie laughed, taking the bottle and her scarf off her hand. "Thanks...now go...Jamie is waiting."

She gave Willie a quick peck on the cheek before clambering up the stairs, her legs twinging with pins and needles. Glancing back at Willie, she noticed he had wrapped her scarf around his shoulders instead of laying it on the steps to sit on. She sighed as she hoped and prayed, in her heart of hearts, that sombre smile he had just given her wasn't any indication that he was displeased with his brother.