#and still say it's trumps doing

[sophies-junkyard]

Change is incremental, but something CHANGED today. You weren’t sure about voting for Biden? You don’t have to anymore! And now is the time to RALLY. The world is fucked up, but letting Trump win will not lead to the political revolution we’re waiting for. Wake up.

Im gonna vote for Kamala Harris in November because I don’t want a wannabe dictator running our country. Simple as that.

[uncanny-tranny]

Social transition being seen (by some) as this super easy thing that isn't as hard as real transitioning (medical) is bullshit. Be critical of the idea that there are some trans people who just "have it easy" because they are trans or because they are trans in ways you may not be.

Social transition is just as difficult, hard, and rewarding as medical transition. Maybe it is not as hard for some, sure, but that is not the same as thinking that social transition is inherently easier or lesser. If you're socially transitioning, your voice still matters.

[tonyfinale]

love love love those vague and romantic ass ds2 flavor texts

[spitblaze]

I'm not a psychologist or a politician or anything approaching an expert about literally anything except a few specific video games but I feel like so many people wouldn't be agonizing over the moral implications of one (1) vote if we as the less-than-uppest-of-upper-crust had the ability to meaningfully affect change in ways other than 'spend money/do not spend money, vote for the red or blue tie'

[third-doctor]

I feel like I'm going insane. That episode read to me as a lot more tragic than other people are reading it. Yeah they were racist and rich and spoiled and awful but they were just kids. They were all just kids. Lindy was absolutely terrified throughout the whole thing and clinging desperately to what she knew, which was terrible. They could've had the chance to learn and become better but they chose to go die and it's infuriating and tragic because nobody deserves that. Nobody deserves to be eaten by slugs or die of exposure in the woods. Nobody deserves to suffer like that. But they chose it rather than let the Doctor help them because they'd rather stay in their rich white supremacist bubble and he just wants to help and there's nothing he can do.

Maybe it's because one of my core beliefs is that nobody deserves death and suffering. Nobody. Even the worst person on earth can learn from their mistakes and come back and change and everyone deserves that chance. There's no such thing as too late. But they're never going to get that chance because they actively rejected it and to me that's still very, very sad.

[stirdrawsandreblaws]

Trump says “finish the job,” while this administration actively helps them do it. Y’all want to pretend that not using the same words makes any substantive difference, but it does not. And you know that. You just don’t care.

as a survivor of some pretty horrific abuse and housing situations where i nearly ended up dead, i know for a fact that there is a substantive difference between "actively wants you killed by all and any means, immediately" and "would prefer not to kill you, but will to save their own pathetic hide".

trump is the former. self-admittedly. he's proud of it. it's a selling point to his supporters.

and this admin is, to its credit, slightly better than the latter: rather than sitting idle until prompted, joe biden has pushed for aid to gaza and continues to try pressuring netanyahu into backing off; going further, kamala harris has been actively calling for a ceasefire since last year

side note: kamala is, as far as i'm aware, the highest-ranking person in govt right now who has basically up and said israel is committing war crimes. (she cannot say it verbatim without potentially worsening negotiations, but in politician-speak she has absolutely implied they're acting in violation of international humanitarian law by saying they needed to respect it. not amazing, sure, but way more than i expected from someone that high up)

now, i almost got into a whole lecture about the samson option and how the shitty, frustratingly glacial pace and lopsided nature of negotiations with israel and palestine is actually part of the mechanism of nuclear deterrence (aka mutual assured destruction), but you wouldn't read that. you're not sending me this because you're interested in doing anything but expressing frustration.

and i do hear that! i'm frustrated too! but i'm willing to get my hands dirty to prevent more needless suffering. there's an inescapable baseline of misery here, and it's tragic and bullshit and we should never, ever shut up about it, but--and i cannot stress this enough--that doesn't mean it's ok to let it get worse

especially since we actually have the means to prevent that, and maybe even improve things if we could stop doing this useless virtue signalling 'both options are equally bad' bs

some chance of survival always beats none at all. always.

[susiephone]

the phrases "they're 'human rights' not 'person i like rights' or 'good people rights'" and "i don't want to live in a society run by my worst impulses" have collectively done more to summarize my political ideology than 30 books' worth of arguing ever will

[im-goin-mad]

anyone remember paris dylan?? geez per sure has a type

[yourlocalxenomorph3]

it sucks that the choice between the fascist telling people that haitian immigrants are eating their dogs and the woman who worked for the legal system in an effort to do good things is such a difficult choice. like wow there really is no lesser evil between the guy who said covid would just "disappear like a miracle" and the woman who thinks people should be able to have bodily autonomy and access to vital healthcare. it's so unfortunate that there is absolutely zero difference between the guy who said we would "never have to vote again" and the woman who wants to raise taxes on the ludicrously wealthy. what a shame that there's just absolutely no way to choose between the man who thinks disabled people should just die and the woman who wants kids to never go hungry and never get shot at school. and the choice between the guy's side-guy who wants woman to be nothing more than baby-making maids and the woman's side-guy who thinks period supplies should be easy to access? forget it, that's an impossible choice

what a truly terrible, terrible, election where neither party is acceptable in any way. voting just simply doesn't matter because they're both utterly abhorrent people with absolutely no differences at all

[reading comprehension disclaimer: this post is thoroughly sarcastic and intended to mock people who insist that voting is meaningless and that both parties and candidates are identical]

[nedsseveredhead]

I know i have it better than most so i really shouldnt complain but living through this current political climate (of the last 8 years even) is just so.. exhausting. Our rights dangling on a knifes edge, my existence debated as some hypothetical scapegoat by politicians, twitter idiots, and childrens authors alike.. several genocides happening that no one in power seems to care about. My constant news feed is just. Horrible warcrime, stupid take on the warcrime, transphobia, someone dunking on the transphobia but i still have to see the transphobia for their joke to land, warcrime warcrime... Its just so exhausting.

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

[hunter-rodrigez]

Democrats when half the world protests a genocide Biden is openly supporting and enabling: "Everything's peachy, no problem."

Democrats when Biden acts like the senile old man he is for 90 minutes on TV: "OH FUCK, WE'RE SO FUCKED, WE GOTTA REPLACE THIS GUY!! FUUUUUUCK!!!!"

[ribbonknot]

sometimes i feel like rn it's really understated just how bad things could be if trump wins. like, actually. i feel like it's being forgotten that despite how bad things are right now, they would surely get WORSE.

[sage-nebula]

I've decided to make my own post because I am not an idiot, but full disclosure that this post is 50% based on thoughts I was having while I was driving home from the auto repair shop yesterday and 50% a response to a post I saw just now that conflated "redemption arcs" (things fictional characters go through in fictional stories) with "community support" (things real life people offer to other real life people in real life) and how this relates to "fixing people" (making someone who mistreats or abuses themself or others not mistreat or abuse themself or others anymore).

Read my words very carefully.

In fiction, it is more than okay to like whatever type of toxic or fantastical relationship you want. If you like to read stories about toxic, codependent people who are absolutely horrible to one another and will never, ever change, you read those stories. If you like to read stories about a tortured man who just needs The Right Person to teach him to be better, and then he is, sometimes exclusively only to them though, then you read those stories. Sometimes you want to read stories where the main character says "I can fix him" and fails spectacularly, and sometimes you want to read stories where the main character says "I can fix him" and succeeds spectacularly, and either way, you read whatever stories you want, whatever makes you happy, I'm sure it's somewhere in this vast Archive that we call Our Own.

However, in real life?

First of all, "arcs" aren't things real life people have. An arc is something that has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Real life people don't have those, because our stories don't end until we die. Unlike a character, whose life presumably continues even after their story ends (except in circumstances where they die at the end but you know what I mean), we have to keep living day by day, with all the rises and falls that come with it. Now, this does not mean that a person cannot change, or that a person can't get better and learn from their mistakes; but it DOES mean that we can't have a "redemption arc" where we complete a checklist of story beats and then suddenly we're a better person who has experienced the necessary growth to be forgiven. First off, no amount of growth or change ever requires any victims to forgive. And second, that's just not how life works. That's not how change works. Change and growth are baby steps taken each day, and sometimes you go backwards, and you get angry with yourself, but then you pick yourself up and you try again the next day, and the next, and the next. It's an ongoing journey that does not end until you die. That's life.

But second and more importantly, the real idea that I think the original post was trying to get at, but missing the mark on was . . . okay.

So, the original OP of the post (and the person who replied to OP) got angry at the idea that the strawman they had invented (the person who had theoretically said "you can't fix him!") would deny support to someone who needs that help to grow and change as a person. The person who had replied in support of OP added that the strawman clearly believed in punitive justice over rehabilitative justice as well. On the surface, I can see where they are coming from. After all, on the whole humans are a social species and do need support networks in order to not only thrive, but survive. People such as drug addicts need support and assistance in order to get into better places in their lives, and the prison system has been proven to be far less effective at preventing repeated offenses than rehabilitative programs. This is all true.

However.

The reason why "you can't fix them" is still true, and needs to be said and understood particularly by those who are susceptible to falling into abusive relationships (e.g. people who have been abused before, particularly in childhood or adolescence) is because of free will. Specifically, the free will that each of us has, but specifically the other person. Person A can want so, so, so badly to "fix" Person B so that they stop being an abusive alcoholic 75% of the time. But if Person B doesn't actually want to stop being an abusive alcoholic (even if they say they do during the 25% of the time they aren't smacking Person A around), and refuses to put in the work that it takes to become sober and be a better person, then guess what? Nothing Person A does will ever make them be a sober, non-abusive partner. They will be unable to fix Person B. It doesn't matter how much time, energy, money, or commitment they pour into that person. It doesn't matter how much they genuinely, honestly, earnestly love them. Because unless Person B wants to change, and will put the work into doing so, then they will not change, and Person A, for their own health, safety, and sanity, needs to exit that relationship.

Now, does that mean that if, ten years down the line, Person B decides they are ready to put in the work to get their alcoholism under control, no one should help them? Of course not! They should absolutely be put in touch with sober counselors, support groups, medical professionals, friends and family who can help them. Person A could potentially forgive them, if Person A chooses. But that willingness to change and put in the work has to come from within Person B first.

I've been in the position where I've seen people in awful situations just tanking their lives, people I loved and cared about, people I begged to just listen to me and get help, only for them to not . . . and ultimately I had to accept that I couldn't fix them. I could be there to offer support when they were ready to fix themselves, but the core work that needed to be done had to come from within themselves. I couldn't provide that. Not because I was inadequate, not because I didn't love them, but because I couldn't force them to do anything they didn't want, or weren't ready, to do.

So at the end of the day, "you can't fix them" isn't about not giving support. It's about recognizing your limitations as a human being. It's about knowing that:

You cannot force someone to do something they do not want to do.

You cannot force someone to do something they are not ready to do.

Not being able to help or save someone is not a moral failing of yours.

Not being able to help or save someone does not mean you do not love or care about them.

Providing support should never come at risk of your own health and safety, physical or otherwise.

When you love someone, it can be really hard to accept this. You think, "I know I can make them want to try. I know I can inspire them to want to change. I know they love me, so if I just love them a little harder, they will want to change." Nine times out of ten, though, that is just not true. And if someone is abusing you, it is not worth the literal risk to your life to keep trying. You are worth more than that. You are more than just someone else's band-aid.

Keep yourselves safe in 2024.

[toytulini]

But Also i do think. Expecting Crisp Ironed Clothes of someone in a fucking job interview is Unhinged. I think most professional dress standards are Stupid.

[willowways]

Presidential rant ahead

I don’t know what to do

If Biden win Gaza suffers

If Trump wins Gaza suffers

If a third party wins GAZA WILL MOST LIKELY CONTINUE TO SUFFER

And I know the logical choice to seeming the plight of the Palestinian people being treated as a non issue by everyone is to treat it as a non issue myself

To vote( or suggest people vote ) based on something else

But there’s a difference between hypothetically knowing that that’s the better option and making that choice while real life people are dying

I just don’t know what to do anymore