#and talk about myself bc thats all i know | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

butchcharliee · 2 years

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☆

#i feel like there's something wrong with me like #i never know social cues and i talk about myself too much in conversations #and i never mean to do that #i literally have no idea how to get to know the other person without freaking out #and talk about myself bc thats all i know #also i feel like i end up saying weird stuff out of nowhere or i say it in a really weird way #then i make that other person uncomfortable #i have such trouble making friends #i always feel like im performing a facade and like if im being myself #im either boring or really weird #there's literally no in-between #it's been like this my whole life #i try hard to seem normal but im genuinely a weird person #not in a cute quirky way #just weird #could be a cute quirky way #but idk i used to freak people out when I'd be myself when i was young lol #do other people experience this? like is this normal or what ;-;

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bbq-potato-chip · 5 months

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I hate this stupid copyright ad-filled internet. 5 years ago i could look up an anime episode on youtube and watch it (although it might be dub and grainy quality). now when i look up anime on youtube its all youtubers "live reactions" with the actual anime footage censored so they wont come under copyright. The one account that had all of the botw soundtracks on it was taken down and the only way i can listen to them is via CD. i hate it here

#its so stupid too why would i want to watch some guy watch anime when . i want to like. watch the anime myself #why when i look up anime wanting to watch it is it all LiVe ReAcTiOns like who is even watching this???what is even the point????#i can make funny coments when im wathcing TV...i dont need to watch another guy do that i think i've got that covered thanks #i wanted to post screen shots of a gintama ep i watched bc i wanted to you know. talk about it because i want to but like. whatever #really ticked off though. so tired of this damn society cant a guy watch anime for free without getting a virus on the computer.#like its one thing to talk about anime and stuff thats what im doing but why is that the first thing that comes up when i look up an episod #why is that the ONLY thing thats there. like i know why (copyright) but stilllllll

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taegularities · 1 year

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some men are textbook villains fr

#tw religion?#kinda need to rant.. kinda wanna explain what's going on #some ppl are part of humanity but don't know how to be humane... like the guy i started talking to almost 2 weeks ago #liked him a lot bc he was funny sickeningly sweet mature and understanding.. until he was not #tl dr version is that we somehow drifted to the topic religion and i told him im not too religious and don't believe in superstition much #i was extremely respectful and even when he said that he does believe a lot i was like 'thats cool!! different people believe in different #things!!' and at first it was a normal convo until man went all psycho on me (after one damn week!!!) and started talking about how #id have to be religious in a relationship with him.. my dude i barely know your fav food can we not talk about relationships yet #but he says he doesn't even need a woman who cooks/cleans just someone who believes.. n im like i get it but i can't change myself like that #and then guy moves to marriage and is all 'well my entire family is religious' n my mom and sister (who's 16) would be putting pressure on #you n force you to pray etc.. and I'm like???? who can force anyone to a thing like that are u kidding #things escalate and my absolute STUPID ass tells him about my deepest fkn trauma to explain what made me abandon religion bc #life just never got better and this trauma remained for yrs... and he gets so angry that he says he wants to stop talking to me just to spam #me all day next day.. he'd keep messaging me switching between 'i still want you we shouldn't throw this away i have feelings for you'#AFTER A WEEEEEEKKKK!!! and then goes back to 'i wasted my time with you you were so unnecessary im in a bad mood bc of you'#even said 'you'll never find a guy with a trauma and mindset like this. i will find a religious girl but no one will love you like that'#and the worst thing is that he told his friends and mom about the trauma i had just to spite me.. note that he promised to never tell anyone #(and then still asked for forgiveness and for me to rethink whether we want to end this after telling me 473626x he wanted to end it)#(nothing even ever started you bitchass)#also note that his mom knows my mom n basically most of my relatives.. so i was here trembling for days fearing they'd get to know about it #mom somehow convinced her to not tell anyone bc it's important to me and very very fucking personal..#but he harassed me all day - i wouldn't answer and he'd send 55 messages.. multiple missed calls like dude i got so fkn scared #my heart jumped whenever he texted he was so fkn aggressive and SO MEAN #'you just needed to adjust and we would've been okay' 'tell me are u gonna fkn be religious or not????' 'you ruined everything' kinda mean #i just :') it was the worst time and i don't think i've ever seen someone degrade me so much or make me feel this defective #but.. it's finally over. his mom called my mom and mine was like pls teach him some manners.. n since i couldn't and wouldn't text him back #and literally avoided whatsapp bc of him she ended it all for me and now it's hopefully done forever #anyway i saw jks gcf performance yday n him singing still with you put a genuine smile on my face.. ill stick to THAT boyfriend honestly lol #def gonna delete later #but ty for reading if u did <3

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bellamyblakru · 2 months

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i will never understand how some people can actively shit on something they know someone loves and finds joy in right in front of them. how can you hate something that makes someone else happy in this absolutely fucked world in front of them.

its the passive aggression for no reason i will never ever understand or do to others. if you have a passion, fucking LIVE it. if nothing else, passion gets us through every shitty day, and i will always support it.

have passion in spite of those who hate.

#its absolutely mind boggling to me #and genuinely makes me so fucjinf upset #i was sitting next to my sister who has been nicer to me than usual as she is talking to her online friend and im doing my nails silently b #its her polish and i didnt wanna take it out of her room. but i look up and shes ranking music genres which is all cool. but without #hesitation as the first one at the most bottom tier she put kpop. like i understand its not her cup of tea but i was like okay thats #something that actively makes me wanna keep living yaknow. and she knows that. so i was like #‘interesting placement for kpop’ and she didnt say anything so i said ‘im not sure youve listened to it enough to have such a violent #opinion on it’ and she immediately got angry saying shes ‘heard enough’ and then got mad at me for saying that saying why was i being ‘like #this what the fuck’ and my heart genuinely sunk into my ass but i couldnt leave even though i felt like crying bc i only did one hand and i #was drying at that moment plus i didn’t wanna make it a big deal. but this is not the first time she’s actively hated on my music without #prompt from me and it just makes me ????? like. music taste differs with everyone i understand this and i respect it. if something brings u #happiness then i would love to hear and listen even if i wouldn’t choose it myself. but being a bitch about it. idk #ultimately its the fact of being mean for no reason over someone else’s passion makes u a fucking asshole #:)))) im not crying bye #ashley rambles #to delete later #my mom and brother do it too btw. hating on it and making sure i hear it.#my mom was doing it the other day and my 7 year old nephew kept saying ‘pook i love it. i think its cool’ and it made me cry because kids #have the capacity for such unaltered kindness as the world has yet been cruel to them #idk man

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angy-grrr · 2 months

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There is gonna be more than that coming from the poll, but whatever it is vote Kacchan/Deku for best hero. Idc who wins i just need them to be together again

if they just announced it today without saying anything before, I would probably immediately do it.

Right now im just bitter because of the hype -I thought it would at least slightly relate to the actual story (adaptations of other stories, extra content for the volume which once again may I remind everyone is extremely short, almost half what a manga volume usually looks which is a huge problem).

This disappointed me extremely, as its not even related to any content from the manga beyond the characters it uses. I get that many ppl will work on this, and that artist will get excited over being able to get the spotlight, some will be able to ask specific questions, and a character will get a statue and a movie.

Still extremely disappointed because of the "special project will be announced on the 5th *wink wink*".

I can't feel excitement over it as, in my mind, I lost something that felt better -more content related to the story. So at best this would be "oh cool I can try it", a feeling pretty similar to the other announcements -not my favorite thing in the world, but I wont reject it and try to see what comes out of it.

This isnt at best to me right now

#grrr talking #grrr being a hater #literally one of the special things was already announced -the fan book #bc im feeling negative I will say negative stuff here so beware #as far as I saw the fan book is a way of getting another product without paying artists #and days before we already knew it would happen #the statue thing feels like the art exhibition like okay thats cool still doesnt compare to more stories like at all #and I will never see any of that in person ever so why would I get extra happy about that?#I know this is an homage so we can feel like we are closer to their world and all but the statues have a bad connotation there #vote so we can see the protagonist and the deuteragonist in a movie #im sorry why do we need to massively vote so they get content? they are literally the most important characters #and what would even be the movie about? For all I know they could do whatever they wanted with the characters #a movie based on who the most popular character is... great. unless passionate ppl are involved in the project it doesnt sound like a good #a good story could come out of it #as its based on who is most popular among voters not an actual story the characters need #so unless 278 characters already have backstories and stuff planned that would get explored in a movie #i dont trust what they could do with this #and I dont want to give them my hope. They didnt need to make an announcement for the announcement #that only has made me feel super bitter #will I get over it later in the day? probably #I still want to express myself #the only thing in my mind about using this opportunity is still bitter lmao #just asking why didnt you make them hold hands #because I can try to justify it with my own theories #but that doesnt mean anything now does it

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minhmynchi · 4 months

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man i wanna ramble about my fic to someone so much

into the tags i go

#minhmy rambles #I SAY THIS BC..... there are so many things im planning and writing and im always constantly second guessing myself and i am too much of #a coward to actually say something in the discord like asking for feedback or anything and god forbid i ask for it in the a/n of the fic #and like i have my best friend who loves the fic and i have them proofread it but they hadn't rly known the game much outside of Me #and they're currently going thru the game and its a fun fun fun time but also #bc theyre my best friend and supports me no matter what im like. but what if. the way i write is so ooc and you don't know it #even if ur going thru the game rn and still saying its in character and not ooc at all what if ur just biased to me and my fic and #see im a huge overthinker i am so anxious and insecure about everything and thats why loop and sif are like that in my fic which is why #its OOC...... ITS NOT!!!!! ITS NOT ACCURATE THERES NO WAY........#anyways . i love my friend very much but i would also love to have more ppl to talk about my fic with but also. i never shut up #and if i do its bc im overthinking interactions #so like if anyone. wants to talk to me about my fic 👉👈 pls hmu im probably never gonna make another post like this ever again #the horrifying ordeal of being known #it strikes again #if you also want to talk about isat too thats fine i like talking about isat a whole lot #i might even give spoilers for my fic or i might not #might just ask a bunch of questions like “does this make sense does this make sense does this make sense”#ANYWAYS. .. y'kno. yeha #aoyany fic talk

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reinabeestudio · 5 months

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you stop shaving as a woman and people just dont know what to call you anymore huh

#you ever get so annoyed that you draw ur irl self instead of your epic swag yass slay pretty sona #i didnt stop shaving for any statement btw it just drains me to do it & i havent been in the mood for months LMAO #i think i'm so used to the comfort of being surrounded by ppl presenting however they want and calling themselves whatever #sometimes i forget how. binary everything still is where i live #note that aint trans btw. i was afab & i dont fully identify as that currently but i have no problem being called a girl #and due to Health Reasons(tm) i get hairier than one would consider 'normal' for a woman (among other things)#(listen we all know gender is a nuanced spectrum but im not in the mood to talk about it in the tags of my own blog lol)#that + short + fat + voice breaks sometimes + mostly wears 'gender neutral' clothing. been mistaken for a prebuscent guy sometimes #(i say 'gender neutral' but its just regular ass baggy shirts and pants/jeans. 💥)#and if y'know me personally youre prolly reading this like 'what'. and yeah thats my reality sometimes LMAO #and im spanish so things are Extra gendered >8'D #i dont even bother explainin my gender to family its just not worth it so i take the she/her and move on #usually i dont talk about these irl things bc whatever but it's starting to irritate me lol #like. do i have to fuckin shave just to not be misgendered. fuckin christ dude #i need to get my yearly haircut btw. i dont like long hair on myself. its getting warm & it makes me sweat i hate it 🧍‍♂️

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hauntedwoman · 5 months

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as badly as i want to avoid my mom she is making it extremely difficult

#i feel really bad that im so angry at her and she doesnt even know it #but my entire living situation is making me miserable right now and its her fault #she charges me $50 in rent every week and shes increasing it to $125 a week at the end of the month #the only reason this is happening is because she FORCED ME to drop out and the only other alternative was that i had to work full time + pa #rent.............. but like at my job even if im working 40 hrs a week ill only be making abt $900 a month #so i will barely have anything leftover for myself after rent #and i cannot get a second job bc i frankly can not handle it at all + what hours would i even work #and my mom refuses to understand that the reason i had to drop out is bc i am so depressed and so suicidal and i just dont want to live #she doesnt acknowledge that im disabled and severely mentally ill #every time i try to talk about my mental health she treats me like im such a burden to her even though i literally never tell her anything #personal anymore bc she just doesnt listen or care #ALSO she FORCED ME to move across the country and transfer schools when i really did not want (hence why i flunked all of my classes bc i d #not care) but like. everything thats wrong in my life rn is bc i do not want ot live where im living and theres no way for me to go back to #texas and also i dont rly wanna live w my dad either #but anyways. this whole situation would be better if my mom was using me paying rent as an actual lesson in adult respinsibility #but it's really just a punishment because i cant function the way she wants me to #and im over it #so fucking over it why am i such a pussy why cant i just die

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stinkrascal · 1 year

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people on reddit get sooooooo mad whenever you like a game without criticizing it, like sorry im easily impressed and having fun omg? hope ur having fun writing a 15 paragraph essay in the reddit comments about why im wrong for my act 3 opinions, im sure thats a lot more fun than just playing the game you paid money for

#i was like yeah idk i dont personally see anything wrong with act 3 of bg3! im still really enjoying myself and i find the story compelling!#and someone was like You're wrong. Act 3 is objectively the worst act in the entire game. Maybe finish the game before having an opinion.#like maybe try sucking my fat fucking cock before talking to me?#idec if people dislike act 3 like thats totally your right. but dont treat me like im wrong bc i like it lol like what #the whole point is that nobody is wrong........ cuz its an opinion........ crazy i know.........................#everyone on reddit wants to be a debate lord so bad #like dude i literally do not know you at all. stop lecturing me about the ethics of having decent video game opinions #holds my bad video game opinions closely to my heart

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britneyshakespeare · 5 months

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Man is saying weird things to me again

#help mom he's oversharing about drinking scotch every evening #that's very on brand for Man #tales from diana #i literally did Nothing to reach out to him i don't know what he wants #i was just thinking in the shower literally not even half an hour ago about how you know it's strange #he used to always have this way of talking to me like he was trying to impress me which is just kinda silly honestly #like i was a 20-21-year-old in awe of him and he was a retired male model eight years older than me w more life experience #and some rather exotic and interesting experiences at that #i think he somewhat envies that i seem (at least to him) like a self-possessed 'intellectual'#thats how he talks to me at least. it's funny tho #not that im not. like. smart. i think the both of us know i'm better-read than he'll be in 3 lifetimes #and i'm not quite self-possessed but i certainly don't have the open-wounded insecurity he does #while also being rather more confident than most ppl in some areas (and it's not ALL unearned)#he's got much more ambition than i do though. more ambition than i'll have in 10 lifetimes #and he seems to do everything with a motivation of external validation and approval.#so i think he has a chip on his shoulder. poor little Man #the two of us could not be more opposite. but i don't really strive to be like him in the ways he strives to be like me #he chases this dream of what he thinks the perfect man is and it's quite inhuman so of course he falls short.#i on the other hand am if anything much TOO accepting of my own faults and shortcomings. ahem #these are all things i will never say to Man. he's too silly to hear it #besides. im rather sure he likes me (? in some way) and i am these days just very ambivalent to him #i can't NOT say i find him attractive bc i do but he's just. sooooo not the one lol #he's a fascinating creature all flaws aside but i never find myself studying him at my own volition #Man just comes outta the woods sometimes to tell me about his travels or women or whiskey. he's odd #he's very eccentric but between the two of us i think i'm the better eccentric. no wonder he visits me sometimes #but he brings gifts and prayers like he's coming to a devotional shrine or something. i'm like sir this is not a temple #he'll never be normal but he is so strange in the ways i'm too good for. if i do say so myself #(and that's saying something bc i'm not too good for ANYTHING)

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dhmis-autism · 1 year

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SORRY. JUST REALIZED I ORIGINALLY SKETCHED THE STUFF FROM THAT LAST WIP POST IN. MARCH.

GODDDD...

#I GUESS MY WRIST FUCKING UP PUT ME FURTHER BACK THAN I THOUGHT #but also like. i was JUST talking about it in chat. i have a comic about the Three Of Them that i wrote in a frenzy in FEBUARY.#by the time i rewrote the dialogue and figured out the ending it was SEVEN FUCKING PAGES. SOLID.#OF JUST SCRIPT.#I STILL HAVENT EVEN FINISHED SKETCHING IT. YOU GUYS ARE NOT SEEING THAT SHIT UNTIL 2024 #sometimes an idea of them will grasp me and i will just write the script out in the middle of the night #I realistically. dont even know if you guys are gonna like my scripted stuff.#the first scripted thing i wrote was a yellow&duck comic that im STILL SKETCHING BACKGROUNDS ON #i could be really bad at writing for them. i could totally not get them at all.#but hey!#we'll see when we see I guess #BUT YEAH UH. SORRY FOR LITERALLY ALL I POST BEING WIPS NOWADAYS I AM JUST WORKING ON LIKE 5 DIFFERENT DRAWINGS AT ONCE #STILL TRYING TO GET MY SPRING STUFF DONE. AND ITS ALMOST FALL. SO :]#I JUST CARE SO MUCH ABT THOSE PUPPETS DAWG I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS FOR THEM #I HAVE!!! EVEN MORE DRAWINGS THAT I JUST HAVENT SHARED!!! bc i either made them for something real specific in the discord #or bc theyre phone doodles and i dont think theyre that great. or bc i made them just for a friend and thats like. theirs now kjdhkjdfhs #a lotta times once i finish drawing smth for a friend ill just never post it bft. so its just like. for that one thing and nothing else #ANYWAYS HAPPY 3 AM IM FORCING MYSELF TO GO TO BED #AND I STILL HAVE THE ANIMATIONS #AND THE FANART FOR LIKE 5 FICS I WANNA DO #OHHH GOD CMONNN BRO IM NEVER FINISHING ANYTHING #my postings

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elegyofthemoon · 4 months

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😊

#it always feels so nice whenever i do things i just kinda. never imagined myself doing #aka 'i didnt think id have friends ever so i was just going to hermit forever' kgjdjdjsjs #its more 'i dont think people would like me enough to hang out' so.#but yeah....#i got to talk more to this guy x at work who started the same time i did #so he and i just kinda vibe and are honest w each other #it was nice just chatting about life and all that #he didnt have a ride home so i offered him one and thats just something i didnt really think id do #idk bc it was more spontaneous and i feel id be too anxious or think 'oh god maybe he doesnt like me and would feel weird'#but we actually vibe so the ride was super chill #IT WAS CHILL UNTIL HE MENTIONED STAR RAIL AND I WAS JUST 'DONT SAY THAT #but yeah.#idk.#its that thing of 'try to be the friend you wished you had'#x is cool tho hes funny #i was just surprised he said hes quiet when he started. he was not quiet at all when we first had a shift together jdfjdjdj #orientation buddies ig sjfjdjsjs #ANYWAYS #i also started training on my promotion job and its been nice. a little overwhelming but skfjdjd its not bad #friends tag #avil speaks #it was just a nice day today haha #SORRY i just am mush lately about friends. believe me itd be worse here but djfdjjd you know. have to shut up.#otherwise its like everyday 'man.... i like my friends. my friends are so nice. i wish them happiness and warmth'

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yutadori · 4 days

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okay im somehow feeling less #mentallyill today and it's weird . this past week has been an accumulation of awful and annoying stress and while it's probably not all gone today . was a lot better and i didn't feel insanely annoying while talking to my professor which is a really good sign.... i also didn't feel too bad about it afterwards which was reallyyyyyyy relieving

today was really fun though (-: it's become a bi-weekly thing for my classmate / friend (......?) to hang around after class so we can bother my professor at his office ^__^ and i'm reallyyyy super glad. i'm really glad i got over my anxiety of talking to new people because now we talk after class bi-weekly and it's soooo fun and sillay <3 i used to be really closed off when it came to talking to classmates because i didn't think there was a point or more like . it wasn't something i was really looking for because i already had friends so i didn't think it was necessary to expend more effort and anxiety to make new friends which is . hm .

but anyway today was soooo facking funny my professor is so annoying omg I HATE HIMMMMMM omfg i forgot what we were talking about but i basically brought up how i am of the opinion that it's absolutely insane that people cut around mold on their food and still eat it. and i was SOOOOOOO SO SURE THAT HE WOULD BE OF THE SAME OPINION BUT THEN HE PAUSED AND WAS LIKE "okay well . i have a scandalous take" and i was like NO!!!! NO!!!!!!!!! YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME !!!! and we argued about it and my friend was looking it up and he was like "well what did you find convince me" and they listed a BUNCH of shitty symptoms you could get from eating food that had mold on it and i was like "imagine experiencing them all at once" and he was like "oh well i basically experience all of that every morning" AND WE LAUGHED HES SO FUCKING DUMB GDFSGDFGDSF and when he kept trying to justify himself my classmate was like "but the spores....." and i was like "yeah the SPORES (his first name) the SPORES. the spores will get you......" and then i was like "hey you should get red markers for your white board so i can leave ominous messages like that on it before i leave" because one day he suddenly had a BUNCH of purple markers, i think he has like ten..... and there's only one white board in his office lol

AND THEN THATS HOW WE GOT TO THE NEXT PART.... he was like "do you know why i don't have red markers?" and i was like . omg . no way are you colorbind???? and he IS ......... which is so sad..... )': and i was like "wait the school's color is green........ they should have more colorblind awareness, you need to be represented" and he looked at me really seriously and was like "yeah i really do" he's so dumb i love him so bad

#ALSO . i think i'm over my crush on him !?!?! MIRACULOUSLY!?!?!?!#i'm not sure . i know it sounds like i'm not but i think i might be #i dont get the !!!!!!!!!! ?!?!?! emotions anymore when i think about him or talk to him #at least not on the insane scale like i did before #which is so weird because it's only been a few weeks since i last felt that #i feel like it fizzled so fast #esp because i felt all of this p consistently last semes #i think maybe talking to him more and in a more casual way helped it die down ????#but i dont mean that in a bad way . like . it's not like i learned more about him and was like ohhh hes less attractive #if anything he's way way way more endearing and cute and sillay to me #today he finished some sort of drink and threw it in the trash but the bottle hit the side of the trash can and he completely missed #and my friend went to pick it up and toss it #and when it missed i was like “wowwww nice ^__^” and he was like “i meant to do that so (classmate) could get it for me”#andi was like “BE NICE TO YOUR STUDENTS????”#idk it's so weird . i still do feel a biiiiiit self conscious around him but thats just bc he's a guy and a super hot one so #also my classmate and i are trying to (gently) peer pressure him into playing pkmn black / white #he's interested in the story so.... (~:#but yeah . this has been really fun and i look forward to it every week which is so nice esp in comparison to when i would just go home #right after class most semesters #^____^#ss #it's also sosososo nice because this is something i wanted for soooo long like to be able to befriend my teachers / professors and be silla #like never would i have imagined that i'd be able to hang out in a professor's office with a classmate/friend and not be stressed #and to just feel so incredibly relaxed and i get to be myself and have back and forths with my professor #like it's SOOOO FUN

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volcanogoblin · 8 days

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:')

#what do you do when you feel like everyone else in your friend group cant see or recognize how annoying a person is #sjshsksbsksnsksjs i cant stand her i get so annoyed when i see her or hear about her that ive just had to leave #and tbh my mental has been a lot better since......#idk its gotten to the point where i struggle ignoring her or being cordial because im just like “OH MY GOD get over yourself”#yeah were all sad it doesnt make you special and you arent the most sad either #people who make how depressed they are part of their personality / their only personality trait are my biggest pet peeve #and i think a big reason for that is i used to do that so i understand but like that will only make you continue to feel worse because #youre like always acknowledging the sad and youre building your life and personality around how sad you are to the point where you CANT get #better because sadness is part of who you are and it feels like losing that sadness is losing the only part of yourself you know and #understand #but no!!!!!#thats just how you stay sad!!!!#some people think if you arent sad forever then your depression isnt as real as other peoples and i think she is that way #which is another reason i cannot stand her bc she thinks im not depressed too just because i dont talk about it #bitch!!!!! ive tried to kill myself!!!! i have self harm scars that will never heal from 10 years ago!!!!!#but i dont make it part of my personality!!!!! why would i!!!!#ugh im so annoyed that i feel like i have to prove myself #and its like if im not depressed all the time then i never was depressed #when bitch i was put in a psych ward!!!!!#i hate her #tbh #im starting to think i cant go back #i miss a lot of people but bc of her i just hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #vgobvent

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toastsnaffler · 21 days

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ah shit only just realised its september now.... lets hope the rest of this month isn't like this.....

#just med shit innit. gonna force myself up at my usual work time even tho i have the day off bc I need to be in my routine or ill lose it #i am. very tired and very sad. and thats ok generally im ok ive been keeping myself so busy for weeks and weeks #and im glad im going out n doing shit often n meeting new ppl n trying to focus more on hobbies n get more on the life balance #but whenever i have a moment to stop i still get so sad. ik exactly why theyre all just old aches n wounds i dont want to wallow in them!!#lately its been well under control i only usually have one actual bad day a week and sometimes its not even a whole day #and the rest im.just busy and i dont know if im just avoiding things and its not satisfying being busy bc im still missing out needs #but i cant fulfil them so might as well stay busy and not think about it!!#and its okay its all okay im just so sad right now :-( but im going to sleep soon and then ill be busy tmr so i dont have to think abt it #i wanna ventpost abt it but also i dont rly want to bc findinf the words to talk abt the things distressing me involves thinking abt it #which will just.make me feel worse. and it wont resolve anything bc its all mostly outside of my control anyway just hurts innit #but im trying hard to make my life bigger than it was before even if its still shallow and not quite enough at least it covers more space #yeah yeah we all want to feel genuine connection and wanted and loved but life doesnt often work out like that so.#hands in your pockets player keep it moving. im goiny to brush my teeth and then rly need to go to bed zzzzz #.diaries #hope everyone else had a nice weekend i had a pretty good saturday at least. and played a lot of videogames today so could be worse #very glad i dont have work tomorrow as well thank u past me for booking it off ahh..

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razzafrazzle · 1 year

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little sailor boyyy

[image description: a digital painting of an original character named gordy. gordy is a small, light-skinned ghost child with short wavy white hair. she is wearing a sailor uniform and is glowing blue and pale yellow. he is sitting on the ground and looking back at the viewer while looking upset, and he has a tear going down his cheek. the background is dark grey, and there are doodles of water droplets surrounding gordy. end id]

#guess who painted instead of doing my work today..... this guy #i never time myself usually but bc i had nothing else to do (i was in all-day detention lol) i actually did #so i DO know that this took me about five hours. so thats neat #anyways enjoy. also let me know if my realistic faces are getting better or if theyre still Frightening #doc talks #my art #my characters

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