#and that he's 100% okay with continuing oppression in the name of peace

[jjoelswatch]

Always amuses me (read: exhausts me) when people are surprised and angry when Star Wars creators refer to Thrawn as a villain and act like it’s the end of the world because the creators don’t “get” the character.

[yourmomsawh0r3]

Crossroads:

javier pena x fem/single mom reader

summary: escaping an abusive ex husband isn’t easy, but with the court deaming you full custody and legal guardian of your daughter. it was time for a fresh start. Packing up and moving you and your daughter 1,000 miles away from massachusetts.

Y/N and her daughter Elle had just moved into town, their car packed to the brim with everything they owned. The summer sun blazed down as they drove along the highway, filled with hope and anticipation for a fresh start

"Mommy, can I have another chicken nugget?" Elle asked from the back seat, her voice sweet and hopeful.

"Of course, sweetie," Y/N replied, reaching into the bag from McDonald’s that sat on the passenger seat. She handed Elle a chicken nugget, smiling at the sight of her daughter’s delighted face.

"Thank you, Mommy!" Elle chirped, happily munching on her snack.

Y/N continued driving, feeling a momentary peace. They were on the road to a new life, leaving behind the shadows of the past. But as luck would have it, a sudden jolt and a loud thud interrupted their journey. Y/N’s heart sank as she pulled over to the side of the road, realizing they had a blowout.

Stepping out of the car, she was met with the oppressive heat of the 100° day. Sweat trickled down her back as she assessed the situation. The tire was completely flat, and she knew she had to call AAA. After a few minutes on hold, the operator informed her that the wait time was over three hours. Y/N felt tears of frustration welling up in her eyes. She leaned against the car, trying to console Elle through the window.

"Why are you crying, Mommy?" Elle asked, her tiny fingers reaching out to wipe away Y/N's tears.

"Mommy is just stressed, my love," Y/N replied, attempting to smile for her daughter's sake. "We'll be okay, I promise."

As Y/N tried to calm herself and Elle, she heard the rumble of another vehicle pulling over. She looked up, squinting against the sun, to see a large Ford F250 with "Lorayo County Sheriff's Office" written on the side. Relief mixed with apprehension as a tall, broad-shouldered man in a sheriff's uniform stepped out.

"Is everything okay, ma’am?" he asked, his voice carrying a comforting southern drawl.

"Unfortunately, no," Y/N began, her words tumbling out in a rush. "I got a flat tire, and the AAA company says it’s a three-hour wait. It's 100° outside, and I have my daughter here with me. I don’t know what to do."

The officer, whose name tag read 'Javier,' nodded sympathetically. "I can change it for you if you don’t mind."

Y/N's eyes widened in surprise. "You would do that? Thank you so much!"

Javier removed his vest, revealing a muscular build, and went to the trunk to retrieve the spare tire and the necessary tools. Y/N couldn’t help but notice how his strong, capable hands worked with ease, despite the heat. She stood by, trying to keep Elle entertained through the window while stealing glances at Javier, who was now glistening with a light sheen of sweat.

As Javier finished tightening the last bolt, he straightened up and cleared his throat, pulling Y/N out of her reverie. "There you go, ma'am. You're all set."

"Thank you so much," she said gratefully, her cheeks flushing. "I didn’t catch your name?"

"Javier," he replied with a smile that made Y/N's heart skip a beat. "And yours?"

"Y/N," she answered, trying to maintain her composure. "Thank you again, Javier. You really saved us."

"Glad I could help. You ladies be safe now and have a great rest of your day," Javier said, giving a small nod before heading back to his truck.

Y/N watched as he drove away, feeling a mixture of gratitude and curiosity about the kind officer. She climbed back into the car and continued the journey to their new home. Pulling into the driveway, she took a deep breath, feeling a sense of relief and excitement. This house represented a new beginning, a safe haven away from her abusive ex-husband.

With Elle's help, Y/N began to unload the car. Despite her small stature, Elle insisted on carrying some of the lighter items, her enthusiasm infectious. Y/N couldn’t help but smile as they worked together, making trips back and forth until the car was finally empty.

Inside, the house felt like a blank canvas. Boxes were piled high in every room, and Y/N knew it would take time to make it feel like home. She decided to tackle the kitchen first, putting away pots, pans, and dishes while Elle explored her new surroundings.

As the sun began to set, Y/N realized it was time for dinner. Good thing she had placed a Grocery delivery earlier.She placed Elle in her portable high chair and began to cook, asking her daughter about her day as she chopped vegetables. "What do you think of our new house, sweetie?"

"It's big, Mommy! I like my room," Elle said, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

After dinner, Y/N ran a bath for Elle. The bathroom echoed with the sound of giggles as Y/N played with her daughter’s toys, creating bubbles and splashes. It was moments like these that made all the struggles worthwhile. "Alright, peanut, it’s time to get out," Y/N said, lifting Elle from the tub and wrapping her in a towel. She covered her daughter’s face with kisses, eliciting peals of laughter.

In Elle’s room, Y/N dressed her in pajamas covered with tiny stars. Elle looked up at her mother with wide, innocent eyes. "You’re so pretty, Mommy."

Y/N's heart melted. "Thank you, my sweet girl," she replied, brushing a strand of hair from Elle’s face.

They settled into a comfortable position on the floor with Elle snuggled against Y/N's chest. Y/N read her favorite book, a story about a brave little bunny, until Elle’s eyes fluttered shut. She gently placed her daughter in bed, tucking her in and kissing her forehead. Turning on the sound machine, she quietly left the room.

In the kitchen, Y/N poured herself a glass of wine and stepped out onto the porch. She took a deep breath, savoring the quiet of the evening. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a flicker of light from her neighbor’s porch a cigarette glowing in the dark. She couldn’t see much else, but it reminded her of the friendly faces she hoped to meet in the coming days.

As she sipped her wine, her thoughts wandered back to Javier, the helpful sheriff. She couldn’t shake the image of his kind smile and strong hands. But before she could dwell too much on him, the baby monitor crackled to life with Elle’s cries.

Y/N quickly rushed inside, her motherly instincts kicking in. She found Elle standing in her portable crib, tears streaming down her cheeks. Y/N scooped her up, whispering soothing words and rocking her gently until she calmed down and drifted back to sleep.

Once Elle was settled, Y/N went through the house, locking doors and turning off lights. She headed upstairs to her bedroom, grateful for the quiet and the chance to finally relax. She took a long, hot shower, letting the water wash away the stress of the day. Afterward, she slipped into her pajamas, completed her skincare routine, and crawled into bed which was on the floor. Furniture would be delivered tomorrow she mumbled to herself.

As she lay there, she thought about the future. She wondered briefly about Javier and if their paths would cross again. With those thoughts, she drifted off to sleep, feeling hopeful about the new chapter unfolding in their lives.

A.N: this is a new series im starting, comment to be added to the taglist

NEXT CHAPTER

[gallavictorious]

what about like mickey and geneva crossing paths somehow but don't know each other (i guess before the wedding bc i would guess they would have met at that point) and idk maybe she overhears him say something homophobic and she confronts him and somehow mentions gay jesus and idk. this is 100% inspired by my desire for someone to ask mickey if he knows gay jesus just for him to respond that he knows him biblically lol

Ah, this might just be the most justified desire in the world, nonnie; I salute you! Okay, let's see –

I'm thinking Geneva and a bunch of her friends decide to stage a protest of some kind. Maybe just to raise awareness of the plight of the LGTB+ community in general, or maybe in direct reaction to a store treating gay people less than right... let's be honest, there's a lot of shit happening, so it's not like it'd be hard for them to find a just cause. Brave and resolute they arm themselves with righteousness and march out in the name of their lord and savior, Gay Jesus!

March, as it happens, straight to A Certain Mall – CAN YOU GUESS WHICH? – where A Certain Disgruntled Darling – CAN YOU GUESS WHO? – works. Now, I don't think their protest is aimed at Old Army per se but maybe it happens right outside the store just next to it, and so the Gay Jesus Group and all of their signs and whatever other props they bring kind of spill over to halfway block the entrance to Mickey's workplace?

By rights this should be a case for mall main security, which I assume exists even if I have no idea what the right word for it would be, but let's pretend that they're unsure about how to intervene in a way that doesn't get them into trouble for being homophobic. Maybe their boss is a very anxious and pollitically minded person, highly unsuited for their job? Or just secretly supports what's happening? Either way, mall security does nothing. The protest continues. There's a crowd gathering, some jeering, some curious, and some in silent support. Between that and the protest itself there's not a whole lot of people making their way into Old Army which Concerns the staff working the floor there, and so they send Mickey out to deal with it.

“What's in it for me?” Mickey probably demands, savvy to the fact that this strictly speaking isn't his job, and the fuck does he care if a few hippies stand around chanting whatever so that no one can get in to the store to bother him while he dreams of all the stuff Ian and he can do to and with one another once he gets off work?

I'm not sure what the rest of the staff promise him, but it's good enough that fine, he'll go scare these rainbow kids away. So out he stomps and he immediately identifies Geneva as the ring leader, mostly because it's her holding the megaphon and leading the chants. Our highly questionable hero walks up to her, calling: “Yo! Gonna need you to pack this shit up and get the hell out of here. You're bothering the customers.”

Mickey's scary when he wants to be, that's true, but Geneva ain't no pushoever and she's used to standing up to all sorts of bullies – plus she has the unshakeable zeal of a true believer. She's not backing down, and maybe there's a small part of Mickey that can admire her courage, but a larger part is just really fucking annoyed at these people complicating his workday with this stupid crap.

Sadly (for Mickey) Geneva doesn't give a fig for his annoyance. She stares him right in the eye and launches into a spiel about how the store they're protesting has treated the LGTB+ community in a horrible, horrible way and people need to be made aware of the fact.

Mickey's face wrinkles in disgust. “And what the fuck's whining about it gonna do, huh? Someone insult you 'cause you're gay you beat the shit outta them, or you trash their fucking store to teach them a lesson, but nobody's gonna give a damn about a few signs. Besides, those ugly things” – he indicates the signs – “are boring as hell, you ain't gonna convince people of shit with those.”

(There's an alternative version of this story, I think, wherein Mickey now leaps into a lecture of how to make proper, eye-catching signs, and maybe even leads a little practical workshop in the art of it, because we know he's got an artistic streak. But as amusing as that image is, Mickey ultimately just doesn't care enough about whatever these people are doing to bother, so in this version of the story, that just doesn't happen. Sorry, guys. I cannot be blamed for Mickey not having a whole lot of communal gay spirit.)

Geneva is maybe a little surprised by Mickey's take on the whole thing, but not impressed: “Demanding that we should be interesting to be heard is putting unjust pressure on the victim of systematic oppression and – “

The crowd has followed this entire exchange with varying degrees of cautious interest and now someone – a big, beared man, probably, and likely sporting a MAGA hat too – calls out: “Nobody cares, you fucking dyke! Go suck a dick and maybe you won't be such a bitch.”

Geneva is sadly used to these sort of slurs, and she and her group are more than prepared to defend themselves, but before anyone has a chance to do or say anything, Mickey – whose face has collapsed into irritated disgust – turns around and walks straight up to the shouty bastard and gets right in his stupid face: “Yo, maybe you wanna keep your fat mouth shut, Cheeto-packer, or I'll give you a dick to suck on and I promise you, you gonna fucking choke on it.”

The man stares. The crowd stares. Geneva and the Gay Jesus Group stares too. Mickey, he just stands right there, smiling up at the far taller man; it's that dangerous smile of his, and the beared dude suddenly shows far more sense than his hat would suggest him capable off and walks away without another word.

Unperpetubed, Mickey turns back to the protesters: “So you gonna get out of here or what?”

Geneva isn't quite sure how to respond. She doesn't know what to make of this security guard and his frankly odd and contradictory behavior. “Thank you for shutting him up,” she begins slowly and a little grudgingly. “But we can't just walk away. Gay Jesus taught us – “

“Gay Jesus?” Ah fuck, he should have fucking known, and if he finds out that Ian had anything to do with this, he's going to fucking kill him...

Geneva frowns at his tone. “You know about Gay Jesus?”

Mickey's lips twist into something that's not quite a smile. “Know him biblically,” he offers sardonically, and he takes no small amount of pleasure at the sight of Geneva at an actual loss for words. (Sure, he's only known her for two minutes, but he has this feeling that it's a very rare sight indeed.)

Then he sighs; this has gone on long enough. He picks up his phone and calls his boyfriend (who has the very good sense to pick up almost immediately): “Ay, asshole, can you tell your fucking groupies to go be pains in someone else's ass?”

“... what?”

And Mickey explains while Geneva and her squad yet again stares and then Ian talks to Geneva and of course he doesn't talk her out of protesting – because she is right to to do it, let's not forget – but in the end they reach some sort of compromise that leads to the Gay Jesus Group taking themselves and their signs elsewhere, and Mickey swaggers back into the store, equally pleased and disgruntled. The staff working the floor has followed the entire thing and now they have questions, but Mickey just gives them one forbidding glare and they very hastily return to folding clothes and whatever. The customers start walking in; peace has been restored; all is well.

(And when he comes home that night the whole incident develops into a complicated – but utterly playful, never fear – argument about who owes whom what; does Ian need to make things up to Mickey for starting the whole stupid cult in the first place, or is Mickey in Ian's debt for needing him to resolve the situation? They don't actually reach an agreement on the issue, but I think it's safe to say that both of them feel quite satisfied by the time they eventually fall asleep in each other's arms.)

[theradioghost]

some recs for my podcast mutuals who are burnt out on horror & sad plot stuff

aka I’ve been seeing a few flavors of people exhausted by several of the most popular podcasts around here being pretty dark right now & I have attempted to put together a tasting menu of some stuff I think might help alleviate that burnout (& which also deserves some more love)

1. I'm okay with stuff that’s still on the dark or macabre side, I'd just like something that isn’t 100% characters I care about suffering horribly all the time, maybe some laughs in there

The Beef and Dairy Network: Like a seriously disturbing body horror podcast, except British satirical comedy! About cows! You kind of have to listen to it to get what’s going on tbqh it’s nearly impossible to explain but if you like horror and are just tired of being depressed about it maybe try this one. NOT for the easily nauseated.

Wooden Overcoats: black comedy sitcom about two rival funeral homes on a small island, one run by The Most Perfect Man On Earth (tm) and the other run by two misanthropic twins with a knack for disaster (and their hypercompetent assistant (and a mouse who wants to be an author)). this one is about watching the protagonist suffer horribly all the time but like, this time it’s usually a lot funnier and honestly he deserves it

Death by Dying: (so far very short) dark comedy about the resident obituary writer of idyllic Crestfall, Idaho, who sets out to tell the stories of how the town’s residents died and ends up uncovering a lot of other things, like conspiracies, and man-eating cats, and a poet’s vanishing childhood home, and what his friend the Angel of Death isn’t telling him about what’s in the dark woods. has very strong ASOUE or Pushing Daisies vibes, that sort of dark whimsy and really distinct narrative voice

Arden: “true crime” comedy-ish mystery podcast feat. two of the best bickering hosts anywhere and a whole third host called homoerotic tension, trying to solve a decade-old Hollywood mystery. secretly a shakespeare adaptation. one of the hosts is michelle agresti. an airline run by killer robots is involved, somehow. it’s a perfect storm

2. I’m good with some plot and higher stakes, but I need something more kind and hopeful right now:

Middle:Below: 10-minute episodes about a man who travels between the worlds of the living and the dead to solve the problems of restless ghosts, and the three friends he does it with -- a ghost, a cat, and a writer. their tagline is “remember: bad things will happen.” this is basically a lie, this show is extremely sweet

Alba Salix: high fantasy medical workplace comedy about hospital staff in a fairytale-ish kingdom, namely one grouchy witch, one distracted fairy, and one extremely disgruntled teenager sentenced to community service. also comes with the miniseries The Axe And Crown, which is about a gay troll bartender, his clueless landlord, and his bombastic niece, and also is one of the most heartfelt touching pieces of audio fiction I’ve ever heard?

Dark Ages: also a high fantasy workplace comedy, but in this one the dysfunctional cast work at a magical natural history museum, which thanks to recent events is now hosting the mythical Dark Lord on top of all the usual problems caused by their complete incompetency.

Solutions to Problems: a sci-fi relationship advice show feat. human host Janet and alien host Loaf. also feat. banter, illegal time travel, what to do when the AI that controls the air you breathe is your on-again-off-again girlfriend, and how to avoid your many spouses when they insist you need to come back to the homeworld and spend some time with your spawn.

Victoriocity: steampunk buddy-comedy mystery show, in which misanthropic detective Archibald Fleet (aka Tom Crowley but he’s grouchy this time) and intrepid newbie journalist Clara Entwhistle (aka an absolute ray of sunshine) uncover some Secret Plots within the government of a very different victorian london. if you like the “opposing personalities come to care deeply about one another as friends” trope this one is for you

Inn Between: not an actual play, but a show about the developing relationships of a party of RPG-esque adventurers as they rest at the inn between campaigns. you don’t see the adventures, just the crew growing closer and learning about one another in their moments of peace.

The Strange Case of Starship Iris: sci-fi adventure about a stranded biologist and a ragtag crew of smugglers who set out to resist an authoritarian government, solve a mystery, and prevent a second human-alien war. as far as I can tell their plan for accomplishing this is to be as funny, gay, and adorable as possible, and to dismantle oppressive systems via the power of found family tropes. also via the power of linguistics.

3. just give me the fluffiest, funniest, sweetest, most relaxed, lowest-stakes thing you have:

Everything is Alive: meditative, deeply touching show where Guy From Public Radio holds interviews with inanimate objects. the interviews are super genuine and beautiful and I think they’re improvised, or at least they sound very natural? for people who want to be profoundly moved by a can of generic brand cola (you may not know but you are one of those people)

Standard Docking Procedure: a self-described “hopepunk” scifi sitcom about a group of employees on a space station, dealing with the little daily misadventures of difficult tourists, traffic control disasters, nonexistent love lives, and each other. Has an explicitly stated purpose of staying happy, lighthearted, and comforting.

Love and Luck: tied for absolute most heartwarming audio drama in existence. the story of the relationship between two Australian men, told through voicemail messages, as they fall in love, start a cafe, build a supportive and loving local queer community of close-knit friends and chosen family who help one another through thick and thin, and also find out that they can do magic apparently (IMPORTANT NOTE: there are some darker events and themes tackled in the plot starting around the latter half of the first season, but the focus of the story itself is always on how people support and help one another through trauma and difficulty, and the explicitly stated core premise of the show is that every character will have a happy ending and be okay.)

Quid Pro Euro: Look Around You-esque satire of old 80s and 90s instructional tapes where Felix Trench tells you what the European Union will look like in the far-off year of 2000. I don’t know anything about the European Union but I cackle like a witch when I listen to this

The Cryptonaturalist: I know you’ve seen his tweets. well it’s that but a podcast. just a man with an extremely nice voice talking about fantastical creatures like salamanders that swim through parking lot asphalt or foxes that roam the shelves of libraries at night. in between he reads poetry and generally talks about nature in the most beautiful way you could imagine. this show feels like a peaceful walk in the woods.

The Hidden Almanac: a podcast made 90% out of gentle fantasy worldbuilding, as a somewhat grumpy man in a plague doctor mask tells you about the history of his world and distributes gardening advice. has an immense archive of four-minute long episodes. it’s best to listen in order, because there is continuity, and be aware that about the first year or so has dropped off most feeds. written and performed by much-loved fantasy writer and artist Ursula Vernon and her husband Kevin.

Startripper!!: the other forerunner for most heartwarming audio drama in existence. seriously, you cannot imagine how much joy Startripper!! will bring into your life. it’s just the travelogue of one little alien with a heart full of enthusiasm and love setting out to see the universe and making friends along the way with just about everyone he meets, including his extremely loveable spaceship AI. I really mean it. listen to this show if you listen to nothing else.

Cabin Pressure: BBC radio workplace comedy about the dysfunctional crew of the world’s smallest airline. not only utterly hilarious but will tug on your heartstrings more than you could possibly imagine (this does not look at first like a found family story but it so very much is). warning for bendytoots cucumberpatch but like, in the one and only valid role he’s ever played. you definitely cannot find this show by searching its name on the Internet Archive.

[puddygeeks]

Wᴇ Cᴏᴍᴇ Rᴜɴɴɪɴɢ - Tʜᴇ 100 Bᴇʟʟᴀᴍʏ x OC - Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 63 - Eʏᴇ Oғ Tʜᴇ Sᴛᴏʀᴍ

Masterlist

Episode: Wanheda: Part One

Rating: Mature

Summary: During her time in the Skybox, Indigo formed a precious friendship with fellow outcast Octavia Blake, the girl under the floor. At first they thought their departure from the oppression of the Ark was a blessing, but quickly came to rely on Indigo's keen survival instincts. The 100 struggle to meet the challenges of Earth whilst Bellamy strives to lead the wavering teenagers and his irresponsible attitude fuels constant conflict with Indigo. Their only shared interest is in protecting Octavia and Indigo beings to suspect that there is a deeper cause to Bellamy's seemingly irrational choices. As the consequences of his actions mount up around him, he finally begins to confide in her and she discovers more than she ever bargained for.

Fandom: CW’s The 100

Pairing: OC x Bellamy Blake

LONG TERM ONGOING PROJECT :)

My writing is entirely fuelled by coffee! If you enjoy my work, feel free to donate toward my caffeine dependency: will work for coffee

Warnings: Mature content. Non-consent, language, sex, self harm, suicide, anxiety, helplessness, torture, captivity/confinement, alcohol/drug use.

Chapter Sixty-Three

The ride home was tense and silent, as we pushed the horses to their limits and I kept prompting Jasper to ensure that he remained conscious. It was difficult to keep my mind from wandering in the time that our journey took and I couldn’t help fretting over what kind of threat Bellamy and the boys could have been pulled into now. 

As the gates came into view, I slapped the reins one last time, desperate to reach Abby whilst Jasper remained clinging to me and was unreliably frustrated to find them still closed as we arrived.

“Open the gates!” Raven yelled from the horse barely seconds ahead of me and I could hear the gears of the mechanism clanking.

“We told them to be ready for us! We don’t have the time for this.” I growled, fidgeting impatiently on the horse and I felt Jasper begin to slide to one side, as if he were about to fall. I leaned around just in time to catch him and struggled to reposition him with my hands behind my back. 

“Hold on! We’re almost there. Just a few minutes longer, Jasper. Please.” I bargained, willing him to fight the exhaustion that I knew his blood loss would be causing and he groaned in return. The moment that there was a large enough gap to fit through, I rushed inside with the girls close on my tail and Octavia immediately hopped off her horse to untie Jasper.

“Jasper’s hurt. What took you so long?!” Octavia yelled furiously as she supported him to the ground with some strain and I quickly slid down to assist. Together, we managed to keep him upright for long enough to lean him against the fence for stability and I almost burst into tears in relief as I noticed Abby and Jackson running over to meet us.  Abby wasted no time in peeling back the shoddy bandaging that I had managed to wrap around Jasper’s neck to examine the damage and grimaced at the wound beneath it.

“Oh! What happened?” She breathed, her face growing pale at the sight of the depth of the injury and Octavia and I glanced at each other awkwardly, silently attempting to decide who would explain. Abby tapped her foot impatiently as she fixed us with a firm stare and Octavia cleared her throat to take responsibility for relaying events.

“Ice Nation.” She answered quietly and Abby’s brows shot up in shock at the mention of them. The doctor returned her gaze to Jasper’s neck attentively and I furrowed my brows at Octavia in accusation. I had expected her to provide a full report, or at least some minimal details on Jaspers outrageous behaviour today, but instead she simply shook her head at me subtly. Though I could understand that this wasn’t the best time for it, I was tired of covering up the issues that he caused and could easily have launched into a full rundown of the events of the day, with recommendations on possible consequences for the incredible risks that were taken. Before I had the chance, Jackson rushed to Abby’s side and she began handing Jasper over to him.

“Get him to Medical.” She instructed, holding his throat with a concerned grip and Jackson wrapped one arm over his shoulder to steady him. 

“I got you. Keep pressure on it.” He advised nervously, before flashing me a reassuring smile as he guided him away and I felt comforted by knowing that Jasper was in safe hands. Although I was immeasurably angry with him for his careless choices, my heart ached at the sight of him in such a dangerous condition and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to fully calm myself down until Jackson or Abby told me that he would be fine. Abby approached me with a hint of hope in her eyes and I prepared myself for the question that I knew was coming. 

“Clarke?” She asked in a small, hopeful voice and I felt guilt crushing my chest. Though I’d known what was coming, it was still challenging to hear and I gulped as I prepared myself to answer.

“I’m sorry. Not today.” I revealed in a gentle tone and I watched as her face fell in disappointment. It had become a painful routine for her to ask every time that we returned home whether we’d made any headway in finding Clarke and though I understood her need to check, I hated the way that delivering the bad news each time made me feel. 

“We’ll find her, Abby. Eventually, we will.” I added encouragingly, placing a hand on her arm and she managed a strained smile in response. In truth, I wasn’t sure that we would be able to deliver on this promise to seek out her missing daughter. Clarke was unlikely to allow us to seek her out unless she was ready to be found, but I’d come to care for Abby and that meant that if there was anything that I could do for her, I would. Bellamy seemed similarly affected by her desperation to find her daughter and I was beginning to struggle to tell whether his determination to complete this mission was truly for Abby, or for his own peace of mind. There was still a niggling doubt in the back of my mind that he was hiding something from me and his comment about guilt in our recent argument continued to trouble me.

“Os oukou.” [Nice jacket] Octavia’s sharp voice pulled me from my thoughts and I turned to face her with confusion. I followed her line of sight to Lincoln, who was wearing the guard jacket that Bellamy had gifted him this morning and grimaced at his choice. I hadn’t even noticed him approaching amid the chaos and as I brought my gaze back to Octavia, I realised that she wore a hurt expression, as if she’d been deeply betrayed. She turned away from Lincoln without another word and I flashed him a sympathetic smile. 

“You want me to take them?” She called over to Raven as she grasped the reins of her horse and it was clear from the sharpness of her movements that she had no intention of discussing her feelings at the moment. I sighed as I racked my mind for a way to keep the peace between the couple and whilst I struggled to produce any ideas, Raven shook her head hastily in response to Octavia’s offer of help.

“It’s okay. I’ll-I’ll bring her in.” Raven grumbled in a delicate but determined voice and my focus remained closely on Octavia as I tried to catch her arm before she could storm away.

“Oktaivia, hod op.” [Octavia, wait] I blurted in an attempt to prevent her from leaving things unspoken, but she pulled her arm quickly from my reach to march the horse back to the stable and I glanced back at Lincoln with a shrug. Though I wanted to help, I had to acknowledge that their relationship wasn’t mine to maintain and I had already given my advice this morning, which he had clearly chosen to ignore.

“You can’t get down. Can you?” 

I jumped at Abby’s words, whipping away from watching Octavia’s back as she stalked toward the stable and thinned my eyes at Raven just in time to find her subtly shaking her head. As she confirmed her dilemma, I was almost crushed under the weight of my shame for not noticing and wasted no time in joining Abby in assisting her to the ground. She groaned as her leg bent up in an unnatural angle from the restriction to her flexibility caused by her brace and I knew that Abby had noticed it too. 

“Thanks.” She muttered bitterly, hardly able to get the word out through her will to be independent and I could hardly contain the sympathy that filled my face. I knew that she would be furious if she noticed it, but I had been deeply worried about her health for months and I couldn’t bury it no longer.

“Raven-”

“I’m good.” She asserted in a gritty tone, cutting off Abby’s worried speech before she could even get past her name and I felt a pang in my chest as she turned to take the horse stubbornly. After studying her closely for months, I could recognise that there was a more significant limp to her gait now that there had been when we were first reunited and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Abby examining her movements. I was torn between all of my loved ones, as they rapidly spiralled all around me, but before I could make a decision on who to follow, Abby turned to face me with a scrutinising look and I gulped under the intensity of her stare. 

“She’s in pain. Isn’t she?” She interrogated, studying me with a perceptiveness that I knew was impossible to escape and I felt conflicted between my loyalty for Raven and my commitment to her best interests. After chewing my lip in silent deliberation for a few moments, I sighed thoughtfully.

“Yes. For at least a few weeks now, but I suspect that it’s closer to a month or two.” I confessed reluctantly and Abby cursed under her breath. 

“That girl is too stubborn for her own good.” She muttered and I nodded in agreement, a fond smile spreading across my lips at the accuracy of her statement. Abby placed her hands on her hips in frustration and I couldn’t help sympathising for her predicament. “Well, I suppose I’d better help Jackson with my next difficult patient.” She sighed as she stepped toward the Ark entrance and I fell into step beside her without a second thought. 

“Can I join you?” The question fell from my mouth before I had even considered it and she glanced over at me in confusion. “Jasper might be an ass, but he’s family. I’d feel better being nearby. I promise that I’ll stay out of your way.” I rambled, wringing my hands together nervously and Abby easily noticed my distress. 

With the remainder of our squad out of camp and heading into the unknown, paired with the struggles of the rest of my family, I was particularly on edge. I could feel anxiety seeping into every one of my movements and Abby smiled sympathetically as she nodded at me. I knew she understood that Bellamy was my stabilising element and that without him, I was struggling to keep myself from crumbling under the stress.

She paused on the spot to take my hand in hers and I widened my eyes at the sudden contact.

“Bellamy will be fine. He’s a very capable young man and he’s with Marcus. They’ll come home. You just wait and see.” She advised soothingly and I smiled at her in appreciation. I had to remind myself of the new techniques that I’d learned from Arlo and gave my independent nature a much needed kickstart. “Now, as long as you promise not to make things any more difficult than they undoubtedly will be already, you can stay with me whilst I get your other troublemaker patched up.” She commented playfully and I remained on her heels as we navigated our way to medical. 

❖ ── ✦ ──『✙』── ✦ ── ❖

Abby relegated me to the waiting area after I kept pacing around the cubicle and instead of relaxing, I’d begun circling a dent into the flooring here. The patients that were waiting to be seen were also becoming frustrated with my nervous behaviour and I avoided meeting their eyes, feeling unable to leave the unit until I could be assured that Jasper was safe.

I’d lost track of how many times Jackson had given me a judgemental look for my continued presence as he called through the next patients and when he appeared in the cramped space again, he finally cracked a smile.

“Indigo? You’re next.” He announced with an exasperated sigh and though my brows furrowed with confusion, I followed him obediently. I stepped into an empty cubicle and my stomach lurched in dread, whipping around to face Jackson with my hands trembling. “If you’re going to insist on staying, you may as well let me change your implant whilst you’re here.” He explained with an air of efficiency and I released a breath that I didn’t even realise I had been holding. For a few heart-breaking moments, I feared that he was about to deliver news that would change my life forever and I could hardly even process his words through my relief. “It’s been about three months since Abby administered it. You must be due a replacement anyway.” He added as he began preparing supplies and I rolled my eyes at his eagerness. Though I liked Jackson, everytime that I saw him seemed to result in some kind of procedure or another, even if I hadn’t sought him out myself.

“You know, it feels like every time that I see you, you want to stab me with a needle. How come we never just hang out?” I teased with a wry smile and he shook his head at me with a chuckle. He gestured for me to sit on the gurney in the centre of the room and I shuffled awkwardly on the spot. “Come on, Jackson. I hate having these things.” I groaned, fidgeting further away from him in apprehension and he paused in the middle of his preparations to glance up at me with amusement.

“Believe me. You’ll hate having a baby on Earth much more, especially considering the state that this planet is in.” He stated in a manner that seemed as if he had used this excuse to convince many other young people and I sighed, remaining stubbornly stood up. “That risk is particularly high considering how much you and Bellamy are at it. From what I’ve heard-”

“Okay!” I blurted, waving my hands manically to halt him as my face glowed gloriously red and my skin could almost blend in with my hair. “Okay.” I mumbled as I slid into the seat and Jackson smiled smugly at me. It was a low blow, even if completely effective and I despised knowing that there was still gossip circulating around camp about Bellamy and I. By now, I would’ve expected people to have lost interest in our relationship, but I suspected that my absence had refuelled the curiosity of many girls in camp who were all too keen to replace me.

“It’s impossible to live in this camp and not know who’s involved with each other. Although, you two do tend to be the most commonly discussed pairing.” Jackson remarked with a barely contained devious attitude and I was amazed at his ability to gossip and work at the same time. After my many invasive conversations with Monty, I was beginning to realise that it was always the quiet ones who traded information like fishwives and I could hardly withstand another meddling man in my business.

“It’s hard not to draw attention when you’re involved with someone who has a dedicated fan club who are all praying for your downfall.” I commented bitterly, tired of the speculation and judgement that seemed to follow me everywhere, and Jackson quirked a brow at me. “I’m honestly just waiting for the day that one of these bitches tries to take me out.” I added, scrunching my nose up playfully and Jackson cackled in delight at my cattiness.

“Well. Bellamy’s not the only one with a waiting list, you know.” He divulged with mischief glittering in his eyes and I stared at him in utter disbelief, waiting for the punchline. When he didn’t deliver one, I spluttered at the ridiculousness of the thought and couldn’t help feeling as if I were being lured into some kind of trap. 

“Oh, please! Who the hell is waiting around for me?! Other than maybe some of the old men who’d just love any young bit of stuff desperate enough to take them.” I remarked dismissively and Jackson frowned at my words. “I’m more likely to have a queue of people waiting to kick the shit out of me for running my mouth than anything else.” I added with a raw insecurity that I hadn’t meant to reveal and Jackson placed down his tools to fix me with a serious, offended stare.

“You are a beautiful woman, Indigo. I won’t stand here whilst you berate yourself. Bellamy is very lucky to have you. He’d better realise that.” He asserted, maintaining a suffocating eye contact the entire time and I squirmed in discomfort at his compliment. Seeming content that he’d shared his thoughts, he resumed his work and I kept my gaze trained on my hands. “Besides, I happen to know that there are several others who would be pleased to take you off his hands if he doesn’t.” He added with a cheeky wink and my gaze shot back up to him with shock. At this point, I was unsure if he was simply attempting to embarrass me in order to distract me from the squeamish task of changing my implant, or if he was genuinely being truthful, and I was unsure if I actually wanted to know either way.

“You’re so full of crap.” I grumbled, fidgeting in place and he slapped my knee gently to scold me for moving whilst he tried to work. 

“I’m absolutely not, but I’m afraid that I can’t name any names. I’m not the type to kiss and tell.” He remarked in a low voice and I chuckled, shaking my head at him to indicate that I didn’t believe his excuses. A few moments of silence passed whilst he finished up the task and placed down the equipment. “All I can say is that one of them shares your charming hair colour.” He hinted and I felt my stomach flip at this clue. Monroe’s nervous face filled my mind, smiling at me shyly and I felt a rosy blush spread across my cheeks. “You’re all done. I’m just going to grab a dressing from the supply cupboard. Stay there.” He instructed, before rushing from the room and leaving me to obsess over the new information.

The more that I considered what Jackson had told me, the more sense it made for him to have been referring to Monroe and I was intensely uncomfortable with this knowledge. I knew that the next time I saw the girl would likely be unbearably awkward as a result and I resolved not to mention this to anyone else, unwilling to fuel the rumour mill any further. 

There was a commotion from outside and I waited obediently for a few moments, before Jackson’s voice made my heart skip a beat.

“Jasper, wait!”

I shot to my feet and although every ounce of my body wished to run out to investigate, I wobbled on the spot with lightheaded-ness. The very minor procedure had caused my legs to shake and I scolded myself for being so sensitive. After all of the blood and wounds that I had seen down here, it was ridiculous to get this sick over a simple implant and by the time that my vision cleared enough for me to move, Jackson entered the cubicle in a fluster.

“Oh, not you too. Does anyone here listen to me?” He muttered, attempting to usher me back to the gurney but I held my ground sternly. “Alright. Let me just pop this on before you go bulldozing out there.” He conceded, busying himself with placing the dressing on my upper arm and I tapped my foot impatiently. “He’s already left anyway. Abby made him promise to come back in the morning. I should really check your ribs too before you go.” He informed, but the moment that he finished pressing the adhesive into place I tore out into the hall. Unfortunately, he was right that I had missed Jasper and instead I stumbled into a rather tense conversation between Raven and Abby.

“Maybe if you weren’t so busy being Chancellor and doctor to avoid your own pain, you’d realise that you suck at both jobs.” Raven spat as I emerged and Abby’s expression fell to one of hurt, as she was lost for any words to use in response. I paused awkwardly just out of their sight and though I felt guilty for eavesdropping, I wanted to check whether Raven would finally confide in her about the medical needs that she was currently burying. Without warning, she glanced to her side to notice me waiting for Abby and adjusted the bag on her shoulder with aggravation. “Good talk.” She drawled, before storming away and leaving Abby staring into the distance solemnly. I cleared my throat to make her aware of my presence and she quickly attempted to compose herself, before gesturing to me to approach.

“Jasper will need to attend a check-up in the morning. Think you can make sure that he comes?” She asked and I nodded back vigorously. “Good. Provided he doesn’t get an infection, he should make a full recovery.” She explained hurriedly, as if attempting to rush me away and I smiled at her sympathetically.

“I know that it’s hard, but try not to take it personally. She attacks everyone nowadays. Admitting weakness is a struggle for her, you know?” I advised , ensuring that I smiled at her supportively and as the words left my mouth, I realised that I was able to understand Raven so well because of our similarly poor methods of managing our problems. “And you don’t suck. I’m proud of the changes you’ve made to how we do things. You add some much needed compassion to the Chancellor’s role. You’re just...overworked. Let me know if I can do anything to help.” I added soothingly and was glad when her shoulders dropped some of the tension caused by the dual pronged attack of Raven and Jasper.

It took awhile for me to track Raven when I finally left the unit, checking all of her usual haunts with no success and I was about to resort to asking Gina when I noticed her heading into a backroom of engineering. I promptly followed her inside and flinched as she began noisily unpacking tools. I cleared my throat as I entered and she turned to roll her eyes over her shoulder at my timid smile. 

“Oh, great. You next in line to tell me how obvious it is that I’m not managing? Cause I’m pretty over my quota for concerned conversations for the day.” She muttered bitterly, aggression radiating off of her in waves and though I hadn’t expected to find her in a positive mood, I was unsettled by how furious she still seemed. I had intended to investigate the cause of her outburst with Abby, but quickly decided to attempt to distract her instead of directly confronting the issue when she was this wound up.

“No, actually. I’m here to discuss a mutual problem of ours. You saw the way that Jasper reacted to being held hostage earlier, right?” I presented, genuinely needing to discuss the events of the day anyway to confirm that I hadn’t imagined them and decided that this might be a simpler way to ease her into honesty. Usually, I could depend on her to share a similar opinion to mine, planning to prompt her to turn her reflections of Jasper on herself and in defiance of all my expectations, she seemed to be only further frustrated by this tactic.

“Fuck Jasper.” She growled, making her best attempt to seem thoroughly disinterested in the topic that I’d offered and I raised my brows at her cold response. “I mean, he’s not the only person in camp with a hard life, you know. I get that Mount Weather was shitty for you all and I’ve obviously worked out that he cared about this Maya girl, but he only knew her for a couple of weeks. I was with Finn for basically my whole life and now he’s gone. You don’t see me attacking everyone.” She ranted, throwing tools around as she spoke and I couldn’t contain a judgemental expression from filling my face at her hypocritical statement.

“Funny that you should say that when you just went pretty hard on Abby back there.” I commented carefully and she turned to view me with a severe scowl.

“Wow. You’re so right. All my problems are solved by your incredible insight, Indie. Thanks!” She cheered in an uncomfortably sarcastic tone and I shuffled on the spot. The temper that burned in her eyes was a clear warning that I needed to tread carefully, but her words pushed my thoughts out of my mouth regardless.

“You’re suffering. We get it. But like you said, you’re not the only one, Raven. It doesn’t give you the right to treat everyone else like shit!” I scolded, crossing my arms with annoyance and she kicked a nearby workbench in anger. A heavy silence fell upon us, whilst deep breaths caused her chest to rise and fall dramatically and I could tell that she was considering my words as she paused from attacking. I chewed my lip as I attempted to think of something to say and forced myself to regain control, unwilling to be ruled by my emotions as I had been in the past. “You know, it’s okay if you ever want to talk about Finn. He was a big part of your life and now-”

“No. I don’t want to talk about it! Talking isn’t gonna bring him back, so what’s the point?!” She yelled, lashing out with her limbs in a fiery display of rage and I stepped back out of her reach. She tugged at her hair in stress and I was taken aback by how quickly our conversation had descended into chaos. “Everyone thinks that if they just say the right thing, or give the right advice then it’ll all be okay, but it’s not okay. Everything is fucked and we’re just stuck with it. So, what’s the point in complaining? We just have to drag ourselves through life until we eventually die.” She exclaimed, before turning to view me with her hands on her hips and it was clear that she was awaiting a response. I could feel my temper burning in my chest, but I pushed it down and refused to allow her to bait me into an argument.

“I don’t have the answers for you, Raven. Like everyone else, all I can do is be here for you.” I stated in an even tone and she scoffed loudly, shaking her head in annoyance as if my words were merely a copout. Though I could easily have gone head to head with her, tearing down her defences until she was forced to address the issue that she was hiding behind hurtful words, I knew that it would not be beneficial to either of us and instead I strived to deal with this matter as I felt Arlo would. “Speaking of everyone else, I think that you need to apologise to Abby.” I revealed, forcing my voice into a firmer tone as she examined me with a sense of disbelief and I held my ground, even though I felt as if I could wither under her gaze.

“Are you serious right now?” She spat, running her hands through her hair and I nodded back slowly, being careful not to further aggravate her with my movements when I knew that my words were already likely to do so. Despite knowing that she could be about to explode, I held my ground and continued to fight my anger away from the forefront of my mind.

“Yes. What you said was hurtful, especially considering how much she cares for you. Like you said with Jasper, we’ve all got our own shit going on and Abby is just doing the best that she can in these shitty circumstances.” I clarified, maintaining eye contact despite the fact that the rage in her deep brown irises made me squirm and her face grew dark as she absorbed my points.

“Get down off your high horse, Indigo. Who are you to tell anyone how to behave?” She spat, her anger bubbling into her words and I gritted my teeth with rage. Thoughts rushed through my mind at lightning speed, with cutting words preparing themselves to wander out of my mouth and it took all of my self control to remind myself that Raven was not truly deserving of receiving the brunt of my pent up emotions. I took a long, deep breath to calm myself and held my hands up in surrender.

“Look. I just came to let you know that I still have your back, even if you don’t want me to. That’s my opinion and you can take it or leave it. Just remember this: only your best friends will tell you when you’re being a bitch and right now, you are.” I added with a significant look, before turning on the spot to leave her alone before she could lead me into an attack that I would later regret.

❖ ── ✦ ──『✙』── ✦ ── ❖

The sky grew dark hours ago with no signs of the remaining boys that we had left on patrol, nor Kane, and we hadn’t heard anything over our comms to explain their absence. The room that I sat in was buzzing with activity, as people sorted through the most recent haul from Mount Weather and I nursed a drink with a rapidly growing feeling of anxiety. The conversation that I’d had with Bellamy this morning replayed in my mind and I began to realise that he would be unlikely to be home to read me to sleep tonight.

There was a deep sense of disappointment in my chest, as this wasn’t the first time recently that Bellamy had promised we would spend time together, only for him to get caught up with guard work. Though I understood his need to contribute to our new settlement, I wished that he could have developed an interest in growing food or implementing technology for camp, instead of fulfilling a role that put him at constant risk. It was less the unreliability of his position that bothered me, but rather the fact that I knew how badly things could go wrong outside of our walls and I hated being left to imagine what kind of misfortune could have befallen him this time.

I’d been told many times that the best way to deal with a burden like this was to share it and at many times in the past I had even reminded others of this advice, but I didn’t feel able to lean on anyone else at the moment. At least for the time being, I felt like a mother that was desperately clinging to her delicate family in an attempt to hold them together and I kept my focus firmly set on their needs, rather than tending to my own. 

Raven seemed to have calmed from our earlier talk, as she chatted to Gina and I was once again thankful for her steadying influence. As I watched her settling the anger that had earlier been thrown at me with a well practiced skill, I could still sense my own frustration bubbling away from the earlier comments and sipped at my drink in an attempt to quash it. Arlo’s techniques had enabled me to behave in a far more reasonable manner on the whole, but with so many conflicting emotions overwhelming my mind, it was difficult to manage them as I had been taught and I knew that on the inside, I was simply bottling them. All that I could do was pray that no one pushed me to the point that the bottle would smash and cause them to be drowned in it’s contents.

I watched as Abby wandered over to join Raven at the table and felt some of my stress melt away as they seemed to be having an amicable conversation over their drinks, under Gina's attentive guard. Glancing back down at my own beverage, I swilled the whisky in the cup and the deep hue of the fluid reminded me of Bellamy’s eyes. I sighed with worry, battling to keep the trauma of the past from creating nightmare hypothetical situations for me to obsess over, before downing the rest of it.

As I placed the empty cup back on the table, I noticed that Jasper had entered the space and was now barely being contained by Raven. I had intended to return to my quarters for the night, but as I witnessed the rage that burned in his face, my stomach flipped and I began to make my way over to them with a feeling of dread. As I neared, he escaped Raven’s grasp and pushed another young man who was assisting to inventory clothing.

“These belonged to people.” He spat as he snatched the fabric out of his hands and waved it in front of his face aggressively. He then threw it back at him, before turning his attention to the piano that Macallan was playing. “So did that piano.” He growled as he pointed to it in determination and before I could grasp him to keep him from making any rash moves, he charged towards it. “Grave robbers!”

He tackled Macallan from the seat with a wild amount of force, pinning him to the ground with his weight and I pushed my way past Raven to intervene. Macallan quickly threw him off, with Jasper's constant state of intoxication slowing his reflexes and as he struggled to his feet, his opponent pulled back his arm in preparation to strike. I dove between them and pushed the other boy back with a temper that pulsed from my core.

“Don’t even think about it!” I warned, gritting my teeth as I squared up to him and he hesitated for a moment as he considered me. The rage earlier bubbled up in my chest and although Jasper had been the cause of the confrontation, my protective nature overtook any reasonable part of my brain “You lay a single finger on him and I will paste you, shithead! Walk away while your legs still work.” I growled, startling even myself at the intensity of my words and Macallan looked as if he might faint from my threat. I could hardly believe that something this barbaric had fallen from my lips in response to such a minor scuffle and this allowed me to realise how deeply I still cared for Jasper, despite all of his shortcomings.

“Enough!” Abby yelled, staring between the boys with authority before her disappointed gaze landed on me. “Indie, calm yourself down and take your friend with you.” She instructed, giving me the chance to throw one final glare at the terrified boy, before I turned to find an older resident manhandling Jasper to contain him. I pushed him off of my friend without a single word and as Jasper met my eyes, his anger dissolved into apprehension.

“Walk. Now.” I spat in obvious frustration and for the first time in many months he didn’t challenge me, simply turning to stumble from the room with me closely behind to escort him. 

[friendlyneighborhoodmadscientist]

Settle in folks, here’s a story from my most recent gaming session, it’s pretty long but it was such a transcendent moment I have to share it with all of you. Due to length I’m going to try to put it under a cut.

So a bit of background information. We are playing a Kingdom Hearts game and have been for… A while. We can’t quite remember exactly how long. It’s a custom system of the DM and my design (THAT I WOULD LOVE TO SHARE BUT CAN’T GET DISNEY OR SQUARE TO TALK TO ME ABOUT IT).

Our PCs:

Lonnie Clawford, a snow leopard from Zootopia, with an affinity for Ice, and focused on Power abilities (like Terra). Lonnie is functionally immortal in combat, kind of anxious, and grew up in Zootopia’s foster care system until she was like 12 and was picked up by our Master. Played by @thepioden​

Lydia, a young woman from The Corpse Bride (in our defense, we knew it was Tim Burton and forgot it wasn’t Disney until we finished the world) with an affinity for Moon (blame Saïx) and focused on Speed abilities; her combat style focuses especially on aerial tricks and abilities. Gravity is a suggestion at best for Lydia, she’s a hopeless romantic (“MISSION OF LOVE” is a common refrain from her), and she grew up an orphan on the streets until she was about 5-6 and was adopted by our Master. Played by @tsukidoesthething​

Polaris Caelestis, a young man from ??????????? (likely a Final Fantasy World; we didn’t learn my last name until halfway through the campaign so far) who was found as an infant by their Master in the void between worlds (earning him the nickname “Space Baby” from his friends). He has an affinity for Thunder and is focused on Magic abilities. Pol has spent the most time with his Keyblade, tends to try to solve every problem with his knowledge or magic (earning him the nickname “Mage-Wrists” from his friends), and he tries to be a Fixed Point for his friends. I play Pol.

By this point, we have journeyed through so many worlds. Atlantis, The Rescuers, Wall-E, Princess and the Frog, Wreck-It Ralph, Secret of Mana’s Japan-only Sequel, Zootopia, Corpse Bride, Treasure Planet, The Incredibles, Monster’s Inc. And we have ended our first ‘lap’ in Chrono Trigger. We arrive in the bleak, dead, post apocalyptic future, and pick up Robo/Prometheus as our companion. Together, we visit the remains of human civilization, lightly perform a few miracles for the survivors, and end up making our way up to Death’s Peak. All the while, an oppressive feeling of despair, desolation, and Darkness is mounting. At the summit, we find ourselves face to face with a Lavos-Spawn. A horrible tick-like monstrosity the size of a bus that at least in our game was ALSO a variety of Heartless.

So, it’s already not looking GREAT for us. As the boss fight begins, our DM starts this music:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nReqeBSp_WY

Our DM hands us each two notecards taped together along the edges; on one side was a Whisper of Darkness, and the other was a new keyblade (with some flavor text) the Darkness forced us to use.

Lonnie declined to share the Whisper of Darkness she received, but she was forced to use Shattered Steel: 

“If someone has to take hits, let it be you, because you deserve them. Maybe you will be remembered fondly if you keep real heroes alive. Better to spend yourself until you’re battered, broken, and shattered, than to let them see what you really are.”

It lightly corrupted her heart with Darkness if she gave or received a buff, which she does automatically when she stands next to an ally.

Lydia heard this Whisper of Darkness:

“Your mother would have lived if you had not abandoned her and run to spare your own petty feelings. You always have, and you always will flee when you fear pain, and it will always harm those you claim to love and protect.”

And she was forced to use Broken Wings:

“Only unburdened hearts can soar. When you think about what you could have done differently, you only drown in doubt and loathing; cast it aside, and the guilt and regret hang around your neck like unseen weights. Better to give up the skies before you crash, broken, to the ground.”

It lightly corrupted her heart with Darkness if she went into the air or used an ability while aerial.

Polaris heard this Whisper of Darkness

“You spout the tenets of hope, desperate to distract yourself from the ugly truth. Your identity is staked upon it; if there really is no hope, no redemption, then you yourself are a cruel lie to those around you.”

I was forced to use Endless Night:

“Light brings not hope, but casts how much is lost and beyond relief into painful clarity. You cannot heal all wounds, and insufficient healing does more harm than good. Better to do nothing, and turn away from a night you cannot dispel.”

It lightly corrupted my heart with Darkness if my MP pool changed.

With each boss fight thus far, our DM showed us an “Information” notecard that gave a hint to the boss fight’s gimmick.

This one was completely redacted out in permanent marker.

Needless to say, the boss had abilities that forced us next to each other, knocked us aerial, and drained our MP. On top of this, our characters could not communicate.

It was bad.

We fought futilely for a time, and I did crit the bastard with a melee attack to the face, but after we dealt about 100 damage, the boss rewound time and healed itself to full. We were on the ropes; I had nearly been knocked out, Lonnie had nearly been halfway corrupted, and Lydia … well she was actually kind of the MVP but it was still Not Great.

Prometheus spent most of the fight trying to get our attention and was very concerned about how atypically we were behaving. He pulled us back, out of the fight and out of the worst of the boss’s aura. Prometheus started playing some recordings of his creator, a Professor Ashtear (likely a descendant of Lucca, but our DM created the character from whole cloth). As the recordings played, the music swapped to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvEJSvgl9Us Our DM’s delivery of the below was quite frankly superb.

“Okay, diagnostics are complete; everything’s in the green. Ready to go offline and get some upgrades?”

“Professor? I have a concern.”

“What’s up, 66?”

“I understand the mission and I will assist to the best of my capacity, as always. However, my calculations all project that I am insufficient for the role I have been given.”

“That’s what all this preparation is for.”

“Acknowledged, but am I not a sub-optimal model for integration? A military unit such as a mobile defense platform--”

“--Wouldn’t have what you have. It’s nothing in the numbers, 66, it’s something you’ve got to feel in your heart.”

“I am a robot. I do not possess a heart.”

“You don’t think so? I’m sorry to hear that. Maybe one day you’ll understand, but in the meantime I guess you’ll just have to trust that you’ve been chosen for a reason. Do you trust my judgment?”

“Of course, Professor.”

“Then believe in my trust in you. Fate has a way of putting us all where we are supposed to be. And if you have doubts, check in with me, or Lumie, or the people you’ll be helping. You won’t ever be alone. Not really.”

“Acknowledged, Professor.”

“But not really understood, right? Hm, maybe a good first step would be to give you a proper name... I think I’ve got just the one. See you again when you wake up, Prometheus.”

 “No. I appreciate the thought, Prometheus, but we can’t cut out the groundwork we’re laying for short term gain.”

“But if we do not take any measures to accelerate our action plan--”

“I’m under no illusions. The work ahead of us will exceed my lifetime. Even optimistically, I will never live to see the fruits of our labors. Neither will Lumie, nor any child of hers or grandchild. The world’s going to get worse --a lot worse-- before it gets any better.”

“...Regretfully, I have reached the same conclusions. You are not perturbed?”

“Of course I am. I’m a problem-solver. It’s what I do, and I’ve always been very good at it. To be confronted with something like this, where there’s no possible way I can see it resolved? Especially when it’s so important? It’s a bitter pill to swallow, some days. But I’ve come to peace with it, because I know my efforts won’t go to waste. What I do now, I do to fling a light into the future. Every step I take is one that Lumie can follow forward. She can take what I’ve started and advance it a little further. The rest, we can entrust to you, and to those who come after us.”

“Future generations may not be as capable as you are. How can you be certain that they will know how to use what you will leave behind?”

“I can’t. All I can do is have faith. I won’t be the last good man in the world. Where there’s life, there is always hope. Besides, you’ll be there to tell them what I’ve done, right? Our legacies live on in the hearts we influence. If I know that, through you, my example will continue to guide and inspire --even if it’s in ways that I can’t expect or imagine-- then I can rest easy in the knowledge that I’ve done all I can do.”

“Understood, Professor. I will remember.”

“Registration complete. Administrative access and privileges have been successfully transferred to Mistress Illumina Ashtear.”

(coughs) “Excellent. Thank you, Prometheus. When you go down, would you mind sending Lumie up alone, first? There are some things I want to make sure to tell her before I say goodbye to the rest of the family.”

“...As you wish, Professor.”

“Something on your mind, old friend?”

“Regret. If I had returned to escort you here sooner, your condition would not have degraded so acutely. If I had prioritized repairing the medical facility over stabilizing the foundation, Mistress Illumina might have had time to treat your symptoms or cure them.”

“Maybe. Or maybe we’d have lost a promising young mind to that mutant attack that we’ll need in the future. Maybe the building would have collapsed, and all the functioning medical equipment would have buried Lumie and me both. Or maybe all of that would have worked out and we would have learned that there was nothing that could be done for me anyway.”

“Those are only negative hypotheticals. There are an equally infinite number of positive alternatives, and the only concrete data I have to analyze is from this negative outcome.”

“Listen to me, Prometheus: we all make mistakes, believe me, I know. Heated words regretted, or necessary words left unspoken; time not spent, or misspent. Things we’re not proud of, and can’t do over, and good intentions that don’t work out the way we thought they would. But what do we do when we break something?”

“Attempt repairs.”

“And if we can’t fix it, make something new from what you learned. The only way a mistake leads to a wholly negative outcome is when you choose not to face it. It can hurt. Sometimes it can hurt like hell, but that pain will shape you, whether you acknowledge it or not. It can slow your hands from doubt, or it can guide them with purpose.”

“I do not understand, Professor.”

(coughs) “That’s alright. You will, one day. For now, let me just say this: don’t forget me, but don’t let me haunt you. Keep moving forward, Prometheus, even if you stumble. Be who you are meant to be and do what you’re meant to do. Live on. It’s all I’ve ever hoped for you.”

As these recordings wrapped up, Prometheus turned and addressed the monster directly, (DM’s robot voice is exquisite), and the DM swapped the music track to his leitmotif from his original game:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaUNpJAgD4w

“I understand. You are not the creature that has taken so much from this planet. You are its offspring, leaching from our remains as you prepare to invade another world and repeat this heinous tragedy. Defeating you will not restore our resources, or the people we have lost. It will not save our planet; it will only spare a host of strangers I will never meet. And I understand now, that this is a worthy cause.”

“I am a robot. I was not designed or built for this battle. I still have reservations about my aptitude for the role and responsibilities I have been given. I have no statistical evidence to prove that I can prevail. But fate has a way of putting us all where we are meant to be. I have no compunction in my code to fight this battle, but I feel an imperative to achieve victory. It is irrational, but I understand it. Logic and concrete analysis compel me to doubt. My belief in those who chose to invest their hopes and dreams in me instruct me to ignore the odds.”

“I understand now. I am Prometheus, and I am alive. When we prevail over you, I will take what I have learned down off this mountain, and I will get back to work. I will let myself feel loss. I will let myself hurt, and I will grow to be more than I have been. I will continue on, as I know those I have left behind would want me to. I am alive. Their memories are alive in me. There are still people I have to protect. This world is still alive.”

The Professor’s voice sounds one more time. “Where there is life, there is hope.” A woman’s voice answers. “Where there is life, there is hope.” (The phrase echoes again and again, on down through the generations. Finally, the whole host of voices, Prometheus’s among them, rings out in a shout.) We were offered the opportunity to roll an Insight check to join in. Lonnie and Pol rolled first, and we BOTH got nat 20’s; with that, he didn’t even make Lydia roll, and we three joined our voices to the chorus: “WHERE THERE IS LIFE, THERE IS HOPE!”

With this, the DM said we were fully healed, the corruption to our hearts gone in an instant, and the DM instructed us to open the sealed notecard-packets. On the back of the corrupted keyblades were new purified (and mechanically magnificent) ones for each of us (also with flavor text).

Lonnie received Resonant Glass:

“No one voice can sing a chord. If I fear I am unworthy for the melody, then let me be the harmony. If I doubt the character of my soul, let me raise my voice with those that know me best, that I may hear my heart resonate with theirs.”

Lydia received Reclaim the Wind:

“Hopes and dreams have ever been the wind beneath our wings. If I sin, then let the hope to mend what may yet be righted and lift my face to the skies --not to avert my eyes, but to pursue the dream of my better self.”

Pol received First Light

“Not even the brightest star can light the void alone, and a beacon saves only those that pursue it. If my spark must pass before the Darkness, let it seed an ember in the hearts of those that chase the Dawn, a reminder that every night ends.”

 Prometheus addresses the boss one last time before the fight begins anew: “Now, Spawn of Lavos. (Dukes up) Prepare for termination.”

It was electric; we all could perfectly visualize the moment. I think we all had tears in our eyes at one point or another.

The DM changed the music one last time (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWSB3qL5qs8) and showed us an Information card about how we could disable the boss’s temporal rewinding. Furthermore, any Dual-Tech/Team Attack we performed with Prometheus would automatically critically hit.

We kicked its spiny ass.

[ahsokalivesbitch]

Are you for or against Jedi, even in spite of their mistakes?

Okay so I’m going to have to sincerely beg your pardon forbringing my own personal religion/spirituality into this discussion, but itabsolutely plays a role in how I view the Jedi, and the question of whether Ithink it’s important this saga have the Order eventually reestablished, orwhether it really and truly is ‘time for the Jedi to end’. I am in no waytrying to push my religion on anybody else, or even trying to coerce anybody toagree with me about the Jedi. This isall, 100%, just me expressing my own personal thoughts and observations. Iunderstand if others don’t agree with them.

Philosophically speaking, I am a very proud, you might even say ‘devout’,Christian. I’m also proudly bisexual,devoutly feminist, pro-gay and transgender rights, pro-abortion, anti-capitalist,and a lot of things certain people would have you believe is decidedly non-Christian. 

In my own very personal study of religious philosophy, I don’t believethat my stance on any of the aforementioned issues is in any way incongruentwith the teachings of my Lord. In fact it’s the exact opposite for me: I amcompletely and irrevocably convinced that my God has always and will alwaysstand on the side of the marginalized and oppressed.

That’s not to say I’m unaware of the very real and veryproblematic ideas espoused by certain other figures in the Bible. Or the rolemany powerful religious institutions have and continue to play in upholdingoppressive attitudes rather than tearing them down. While I’ve never feltcompelled to give up my faith of choice, as I don’t blame God for humans whoexercise their free will to be shitbags, I’ve certainly wondered whether itwould be best for me to give up the title ‘Christian’ and all the baggage thattends to come with it. Rebrand myself as something else to better distancemyself from these ‘communities’ who dedicate themselves to things I cannot reconcilewith the God I know. And I know I’m not alone. Hell, even William P. Young,author of the bestselling novel “The Shack”, incorporated a very candidconversation into his book where Jesus bluntly asks the main character, “Do Ilook like a ‘Christian’ to you, Mack?” Honestly, that line hit home for me in a very real way.

But what has kept me from turning my back on the legacy ofChristianity altogether is the fact that my religion is not a monolith. Not all priests and pastors arebible-thumping, fire-and-brimstone-spewing judgmental monsters who want nothingmore than to put the fear of hell into you. Many if not most are very genuinein their desire to serve and help others, and I’ve had the fortune of connectingwith a number of them who not only welcome LGBTQ individuals like myself intotheir churches with open arms, but also proudly perform gay and lesbian weddings,rebuke discrimination and denial of women’s reproductive rights from theirpulpits, and advocate openly for gay and transgender rights.

On a more broader level, for centuries there have been innumerable churches around the world who devote countless time, money,and resources to feeding and clothing the poor, sheltering the homeless, providingresources to single mothers and orphans, providing sanctuary for hunted-down immigrantsand refugees, helping abandoned and abused animals. There also have and continue tobe MANY Christian minority groups (not just in America) who were able to drawupon the religion as inspiration to push back against their oppressors and succeed. There were thousands ofChristians present at the Women’s March, Black Lives Matter, and Muslim banprotests this past year alone.

On a very personal level—both times my sister was diagnosed withcancer, not a day went by when she didn’t receive a letter, phone call, goodiebasket, you name it, from one of her pastors or fellow parishioners. Wheresomebody didn’t offer to come and help her watch the kids, clean the house,cook her food, whatever she needed.

Two months ago I came to receive the very same response from myown Christian friends when my father was diagnosed with bladder cancer.

I’m in no way suggesting Christians deserve giant gold medals fromthe rest of the world for any of this. This, in my opinion, is just doing their fucking job. But these acts do matter, even in the shadow of all the horrible thingsother, more powerful institutions who use the Christian ™ label to advancetheir shitty causes perpetuate. Because they demonstrate that being a judgmental,small-minded, holier-than-thou hypocrite is not inherently some ‘consequence’ of what itmeans when you decide to become ‘Christian’. In fact the true purpose of thereligion always has been just theopposite.

So tying all of this into my view of the Jedi—it’s very hard toargue that, just from the stuff we’ve seen in the films/tv shows themselves,the Jedi Order didn’t operate under some pretty fucked-up ideals. Separatingchildren from their parents at infancy? Forbidding emotional attachment,marriage, a family of one’s own forever?That’s downright deplorable! And the canon itself frames how this directly leadto a number of people who couldn’t possiblyfit into such restrictive ‘ideals’ turning to the Dark Side of the Force,Anakin Skywalker himself being the most notable example. Based on all this, I understand entirely where certain peoplecome from when they think it might be better if Rey just dumps the mantle of ‘Jedi’altogether and starts an entirely new institution. Just like some days Iwish I could come up with a new way of framing my religious identity other than‘Christian’.

But here’s the thing—the Jedi also did a lot of things RIGHT. Theyespoused selflessness, serving the needs of the weak and helpless first, compassion, justice, therestoration of peace, fighting for the rights of those threatened by fascistideals, and using their abilities to defend others rather than gain any sort ofpower over them. You could also be literally ANY species or gender under the sun to be welcomed into their fold  and climb high in their ranks. They pushed back ceaselessly against greedy, opportunist, discriminating and oppressive forces in all forms and fought and gave their lives to try and uphold aRepublic that, while arguably equally flawed, at least stood resolutely fordemocratic ideals and equality among all species.

One of the things I LOVED LOVED LOVED most about Luke’scharacter development over the course of the OT is that he recognizes where his masters’ old ways of interpreting the will ofthe Force failed, while not forgetting where he also very much succeeded in learning from them. Becauseyes, the training and encouragement he receives from Ben in ANH (however brief)was absolutely ESSENTIAL to his ability to “trust the Force” and ultimately destroythe first Death Star. In TESB, his journey with the Force continues to be strengthenedexponentially by Yoda’s insistence he must forget all the arbitrary limitations convention taught him to believe about himself.That moment in the swamps of Dagobah where Yoda lifts the X-Wing after Luke’sattempt failed is very powerful, because it is here that Luke FINALLY learns heneeds to stop doubting himself, dammit tosucceed.

But even in spite of all that, Luke never, not once capitulatesto his masters’ insistence that he have to let go of all emotional attachmentfor good to win the day. He knowsintrinsically this is wrong. And ultimately it is his refusal to adhere tothis faulty principal, to abandon his friends in their time of need or killVader even when not one but TWO of his masters tell him he must (one frombeyond the grave), that ultimately leads to the long-promised achievement ofBalance in the Force. “I am a Jedi—like myfather before me.” It’s a very multilayered statement because he’s not justsaying ‘I’m a Jedi like my Dad’. He’s also saying “Like my Dad, I’m a Jedi whoembraces unconditional love and attachment, even in the face of my destruction”.

Because he KNOWS the Old Jedi’s interpretation of this issuewasn’t just wrong, it was actually downright COUNTER to what the Light Side ofthe Force really stands for (again, it was his unwavering love for his fatherthat brought him BACK TO THE LIGHT). But he doesn’t throw the baby out with thebath water either! He had enough insight to understand (before Disney and RianJohnson screwed this up for UNFATHOMABLE reasons), the best way to proceed inthe Force is to build on all the goodthat the Jedi espoused and accomplished, while preening away all the bad elementsat the same damn time.

Because, when you come down to it, if every successive generationjust throws away everything the previous generations learned and accomplishedbecause of how muddied or imperfect their general approach was in retrospect, nothing gets built. No legacies stand. Invaluablelessons inevitably get lost along the way as we just dismiss all of ourancestors’ insights as ‘meaningless’. And ultimately what would happen isanything anyone would attempt to build would just get burned to the ground over and over again as every humaninstitution tries and fails to achieve perfection. That’s not how people themselves work. We don’t abandon everything we are every time we realizewe need a major shift in our world view. We build upon all that we’ve already learned and experienced throughout ourlives, keep the good while casting off all the toxic bullshit. So why shouldour institutions be in any way different?

So yes, I am very much pro-Jedi, in spite of their many, many egregious mistakes. In fact(and this was actually a very good message that would have been SO MUCH BETTER COMMUNICATEDhad it not been delivered in the context of Luke’s shitty character retrograde)I DO believe failure is an invaluable teacher and absolutely 100% necessary ifany institution or humanity as a whole is to grow and improve on what camebefore. What I WANTED to see Luke achieve, but hopefully we’ll see through Rey,is a Jedi Order that, while probably never ‘perfect’, learns how to balancelove, family, and attachment while never abandoning the virtues of selflessnessand commitment to justice, compassion, and equality the Jedi always dedicatedthemselves to. There’s a beautiful legacyalongside all the fuckery there and, imo, it doesn’t deserve to be burned away alongwith all of the bad.

[professor-abeloved]

RULES: FINISH THESE 92 STATEMENTS AND TAG 20 PEOPLE.

Got meme’d on tagged by my homie @principal-mc !! thanks bud i love youuuu <3

THE LAST:

1. Drink: c2 lemon 2. Phone call: my mom 3. Text message: my best friend @rpgskill <3 4. Song you listened to:  Mahiwagang Puso from the Encantadia 2005 OST 5. Time you cried: uh, yesterday

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: nah  7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nope 8. Been cheated on: hindi 9. Lost someone special: er no 10. Been depressed:  always yeah 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: drunk yes, thrown up no

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. purple!! it’s always been my favorite hehe 13. mint green 14. blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yup both on here and irl! i love you guys!! 16. Fallen out of love: no... i’ve fallen out of my qp feelings tho if that counts? 17. Laughed until you cried: yES oh my god i always tear up if i laugh too hard 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yeah. 19. Met someone who changed you: “everyone you meet changes you for better or for worse… change is continuous and inevitable so this is a given” <- couldn’t have said it better myself @principal-mc 20. Found out who your friends are: yup, i did when they were there for me/tried to be there for me.  21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: dein

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: about 90%? my account is personal kasi. although i do have some friends that i added for ~fb games~ when i was 10... and some people that added me because we have 100+ mutual friends. okay actually, sometimes i randomly add cute people that fb suggests for me to see if they’ll respond and they do!! i find it funny HAHA and then months later i find out they go to a different university or even a different country... 23. Do you have any pets: ish? my family has pet dogs in the province, though we used to have a lot of fish and rabbbits 24. Do you want to change your name: yep! someday i’ll find a way to make the name-changing process easier in the Philippines, I promise. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: uh had an anxiety attack because there was block drama and i didn’t know what to do when inviting my blockmates out lol 26. What time did you wake up: 12:13 PM 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: posting the amazing art i had commissioned from Millerizo aka Mod Ton from Buhay Kolehiyo!! i’m in love with her art, i swear. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: to fix my damn bank account lol 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: an hour ago? 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: me HAHAHA uh fuck, my hang-ups and flaws i guess 31. What are you listening right now: the television 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: 707′s neighbor Tom? actually wait i think I have a niehgbor named Tom omg 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: “Pixelberry’s writing team” ...actually same, Zee. honestly i’m so disappointed. 34. Most visited Website: Tumblr 35. Mole/s: On my right thigh and left shoulder lmao 36. Mark/s: uh i got a lot of stretchmarks on my thighs and stomach 37. Childhood dream: becoming a superhero. tbh it’s a work in progress, there’s gotta be a radioactive spider here somewhere... 38. Hair color: brown with blond hightlights 39. Long or short hair: short!! 40. Do you have a crush on someone: sighs yes and he doesn’t go to my uni anymore :^( 41. What do you like about yourself: my writing!! 42. Piercings: my ears are pierced 43. Blood type: A positive walang aayaw 44. Nickname: El/L/Elle  you spell it however you want haha 45. Relationship status: single but married to about a billion fictional characters 46. Zodiac: Virgo~ 47. Pronouns: they/them, he/him, she/her it i’m cool with them all since i’m bigender lol 48. Favorite TV Show/s: Steven Universe, Brookline 99, HIMYM, Encantadia (2005 and 2016 huhu i miss it so much) 49. Tattoos: waley 50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: i’m actually gonna have an operation for my wisdom teeth on Thursday haha pls pray for me 52. Hair dyed in different color: er highlights count right? though i do plan to dye it purple 53. Sport: i don’t... do sports though i hope to do arnis or something with swords in the future! 55. Vacation: YES PLEASE. technically im having it right now though we have a project to submit tomorrow 56. Pair of trainers: oh they’re like rubber shoes? i think well yeah i have like 3 pairs

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: siomai and cheese sticks! 58. Drinking: c2 pa rin mga ulol 59. I’m about to: start on that letter to pb bc really wtf. 61. Waiting for: him lol charot. actually i am waiting for maxwell to be an LI so?? 62. Want: peace and happiness for the world 63. Get married: um it’s not in my plan but if a future partner wants to and/or if there are tax benefits then sure? 64. Career: student po 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs!! 66. Lips or eyes: eyes eyes baby 67. Shorter or taller: can they be the same height? i’m 5 feet tall so most people are taller than me anyway 68. Older or younger: er older? 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: i only have one weakness, the kryptonite to my superman, the one thing that turns me into a puddle on the floor... biceps 71. Sensitive or loud: tbh both. like i’d say loud but i also need someone sensitive because i’m shit at expressing myself 72. Hook up or relationship: i’m grayro ace buddy so neither. 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker lmao. pranksters are cute (as long as the prank doesn’t harm anymore/make them uncomfortable) and yes troublemakers for the oppressive system make my heart go boom <3

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: ew 75. Drank hard liquor: not yet 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: dude i lost my right contact lens during a math review and i kind of stopped wearing them 77. Turned someone down: ...yes. more times than i’d like. 78. Sex in the first date: L O L 79. Broken someone’s heart: i hope to god not 80. Had your heart broken: i wouldn’t know, i don’t have one 81. Been arrested: nah 82. Cried when someone died: yes. 83. Fallen for a friend: uh do QP feelings count as falling? because if so yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: someday, i hope to 85. Miracles: yup! 86. Love at first sight: no. i believe in attraction at first sight, but not love 87. Santa Claus: yeah, it killed me when i found out my mom was writing those letters to santa. it was funny though because one time i asked who santa was, and they gave me a 9 page research of the origin of santa HAHAHAH 88. Kiss on the first date: uh if i like them enough and if they initiate, maybe 89. Angels: yes zee is an angel <3 all of you reading this are angels too <3

OTHER:

90. Current best friend’s name: kristi 91. Eyecolor: hazel brown/light brown with dark flecks 92. Favorite movie: Ghostbusters 2016!! watched it thrice hehe. oh and i recently watched kubo and the two strings and fell in love <3

Tagging: @quinnskelly @mirasols @mewly/@molliartsie @lanapowellblog @ladyashtonofcordonia @grimdarkpixels @keephollywoodweird/@gunfawkes @hollyashton @jebsplayshss/@spacetravels @sarcasticchoices @andythenerdyfriend @ohmymaxwell​ @kittenmusicals​ @rr-roe-es​ @maxwellbeauxmont​ @mermadeheart​/@pixelberry-pippa​ @danielnelsen @evapaw-of-thunderclan @lifeof314universe @craighsiao and anyone else who wants to do this!!

[ecotone99]

[SF] The first chapter of a potential book that I submitted as an assignment for Science Fiction at school. It involves the Trump Monument, Nuclear War, and a human thought experiment to preserve humanity. Let me know what you think!

-1-

It was a cold November morning in Washington, D.C. The sun had yet to peek over the Trump Monument, the tallest point in the capitol since 2020. In fact, the sun hardly covered more than half the city at a time because it was usually blocked by what some might call a ‘pinnacle of engineering aptitude.’ The monument appeared nearly identical to that of the Washington Monument, but after the demolition of the latter, for what congress called “something much better”, the Trump Monument now towered at 2,500 feet from the ground, and covered a span of nearly 5 blocks. According to the history books, the monument was originally erected as a “tribute to the greatness of this country”, proclaimed by then president Donald Trump, although to the wise it may stand as a symbol of oppression; keeping those deemed lesser in the shadow of those deemed greater, only for the lesser to be inevitably crushed by (possibly quite literally) their tribute to greatness in the end. Each year, this fate became seemingly more certain to those who know it, but as money filled the pockets of the capitalists in their endeavors, accepting ignorance in exchange for giving up morality and aptitude, the care for the matter seemed less and less urgent. Those outside of the government were too concerned for their wallets to be concerned about the world outside of business. The year is now 2051, and the government that has worked so hard to plug the holes in their sinking ship of debt has reached the brink of global nuclear war. The air carried a cloud of doubt, that these men and women that were soon to arrive at the downtown hover-rail station might change the fate of all those around them.

As the train neared the city, the only lights that could be seen through the thicket of bramble and fog were that of the capitol, since, as of early last year, all federal employees have begun working rotating shifts 24-hours a day to maximize profit, including weekends, typing furiously at computer screens to the point of callous, trying to prolong the inevitable for just a couple more days, a couple more days—And each day, they typed a little faster, a little faster, sending and receiving international transactions until you could barely see their fingers yet but a blur of flesh and skin and bone across each key in each fell swoop, until they would return home each night, armpits damp from anxiety, twiddling their fingers endlessly as they typed away into their dreams, never sleeping but never awake, but always working, for there was always more work to be done.

The magnetic brakes kicked on automatically as the train hovered down the rails to the final station, quickly but gently slowing down the behemoth. An unsecured brown leather backpack fell from a faulty overhead compartment onto the head of a younger woman.

“Ouch! Whose stinking bag is this?”

“Sorry about that, looks like I didn’t pack in my luggage good enough. Are you okay?” John picked his bag up off the pristine floor of the luxury train cab and carefully secured each arm through the shoulder straps. his cheeks swelled and reddened from embarrassment. Elevator music played in the background.

“Whatever, you’re lucky I don’t have that money yet or I would have sued your ass.” The woman looked at him, annoyed, before turning her back to him and departing from the awkward conversation. People are too sensitive these days, John thought. He wasn’t going to let one sour encounter ruin his day, however, for as she reaffirmed, there was a lot of money to be earned from this little week-long endeavor, whether they wanted to be there or not.

These 100 men and women, all of which were from diverse backgrounds, cultures, educations, and wealth, were all there for the same job inquiry—they had all received hand-delivered letters to their front doors by men in black suits and sunglasses, bearing official U.S. badges representing their affiliation with the US Department of Future Security, a military agency that focuses on protecting the United States from any and all future terrorist and domestic threats. Each delivered envelope contained the same message, which reads as follows:

IMPORTANT NOTICE

Dear (insert name),

You are hereby ordered to report for induction into a 7-day testing program at your nearest UNITED STATES FUTURE DEFENSE facility. Transportation will be provided to and from the facility. Be prepared for pickup by FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 11 @ 5:00 AM at your residence.

$50,000 USD will be electronically transferred to your E-Wallet upon completion of the program as reimbursement for lost time.

Willful failure to report at the place and hour of the day named in this Order subjects the violator to fine and imprisonment. Bring this Order with you when you report.

Your country thanks you for your service.

David Koehl, Overseer of U.S. Future Defense

The doors of the train cab slid open with a long, hydraulic breath. The men and women aboard the train, all clenching their envelopes and anxious to finally stretch their legs, slowly and clumsily made their way out of the only couple doors available, and per instruction of a nearby official from the Future Defense Department, lined up: men on the left, women on the right, until they were left with two perfect rows of 50 men and 50 women. The official checked each person’s papers before a Greyhound arrived shortly for each line to provide the remaining transportation to the facility, although the personal space proved to be inconsistent with the luxury accommodations provided by the hover-train, and people were finally forced to small-talk with each other, something that has become outdated in modern society, and is generally avoided.

“What do you think they’ll be testing us over?” whispered someone in the back.

“I don’t know,” replied another, “but the sooner this is over and I get my money, the better.” There was a long silence before someone spoke again.

“…Do you think it’s gonna hurt?”

“They wouldn’t do that.”

“So then why won’t they tell us what we’re—"

“Just shut up and be glad you’re getting paid!”

The Greyhound was silent the remainder of the way to the facility. The Future Defense Building was located on the very edge of the city, down a mile and a half of gravel back roads and through three electric barbed-wire fences with security checkpoints, each more thorough than the previous, until finally arriving at the underwhelming front driveway of the two-story Future Defense Building in what seemed like the middle of the swamp. It looked like a crumb on the crust of the earth compared to the mighty Trump Monument, and this was most people’s immediate observation. How ugly, this building! Only two stories? Pfft! My vacation home is probably worth more than this whole facility…

The two groups of fifty were escorted by men in their full military uniforms from the Greyhound up to the main entrance of the Future Defense Building. John was near the back of the line, pondering this operation that was about to unfold in the coming days. The group of women were immediately separated from the men and led around the back of the building, while the men were led through the front doors. Coming from the outdoors where it was much darker outside, most men in the group grunted and groaned as they were temporarily blinded by the white fluorescent lamps that composed the majority of the ceiling in the facility. The air was warmer than outside, but smelled of sterility and latex gloves.

An older looking doctor in all-white scrubs with only a single wisp of grey hair covering his shiny head popped out of a side door in the lobby to greet his subjects.

“Good morning everybody. We are thankful for your safe arrival!” began the doctor, “I am Doctor Mayflower, head of the E.D.E.N, project, Short for the Extended Deep Equilibrium Network. I’m sure you have a lot of questions, so let me try and explain some things.” Doctor Mayflower reached into his lab coat pocket, withdrawing a tiny micro-chip, and held it for everybody to see. “At E.D.E.N, we’ve been perfecting the science of recording data. Not computer data, but rather, biological data. That is, the data that each and every one of you carry up here.” Mayflower tapped his index finger on the side of his head. “As many of you may know, our country has been on the brink of war for quite some time.” They did not know. The quiet hush of the crowd was replaced with panicked whispers and faces. “Oh, you aren’t aware? Well.” He cleared his throat. “See, nature is a cat-and-mouse game of survival of the fittest; Humans are bred to survive, and adapted over generations to catch each and every mouse, and prove time and time again his dominance over nature until there was nothing left to dominate. But as arrogant as humans are and always have been, we will time and time again neglect to realize that the greatest enemy to man is himself. The apex predator. The only difference this time is that we jingle the very keys to the atomic ending of life as we know it, and do so as if attempting to entertain a child.”

“We aren’t at war, we paid our debts!” blurted out someone from the crowd, believing what the doctor said to be borderline hysterical.

“Allow me to continue, please,” proclaimed Mayflower. “The government has exhausted its options for peace negotiations. If money is truly god, then god will not save us now. E.D.E.N. is our only escape.” The crowd became silent. Mayflower took a long pause, allowing his subjects to absorb everything he just said. After a moment, he began again. “Clear your mind and stay with me for a second. I would like to demonstrate a mental exercise.” He did not begin until the entire group was at his attention. “When I say the word ‘tree’, I want you to close your eyes and imagine the first image that comes to mind. Study that image in your head closely, but don’t overthink it.” John closed his eyes, and imagined a gnarled and ancient oak tree in a corn field. It was the very one that he used to swing from as a child. “Now,” said the Doctor, “I want you to imagine the first thing that comes to mind when I say the word ‘home.’” John did not picture his home where he currently lived, but envisioned the home where he grew up—a small farm house with a tin roof and vines creeping up the ancient oak siding. This image brought a smile to his face, if only long enough to have his fantasy interrupted by the doctor once more. “Okay. Lastly, I want you to think about the tree again.” The crowd stirred restlessly, not really seeing the point in this exercise. John followed the instructions and thought about the tree again, however, and pictured the same old oak tree in the field. “Now, I’ll bet money that the image of the tree you saw the first and second time are the same tree, yes? And if you think of ‘home’ once more, you will see the same image of home that you first imagined?” The men all looked at each other as if the doctor had read their minds without even needing to hook them to equipment. “This is because the human mind accesses memories using what we like to call ‘triggers.’ When I say a certain keyword, your first image that comes to mind of that word will always be the same. Because of this phenomenon, we have coined these as static memories, and have made possibly the most important discovery in human history, the ability to read and download thoughts. Since these memories don’t change, they have no risk of a deviation of outcome, and can be safely stored on these chips. Have you ever tried to store abstract thought on a computer chip? Well, it’s quite an impossibility. We have to have real, tangible data or the entire system is buggered.”

“Why do you want to read our thoughts?” someone cried out.

“What, do you have something to hide?” joked another.

Mayflower ignored these comments. “For the past 5 years, we have been working on a super-computer of sorts. Imagine a perfect reality, composed off all of the puzzle pieces of society, government, weather, and economy. Every man, woman, and child are as real and tangible as in this room right now, but there are no longer any possible threats to our existence as a species. No more wars, no more violence, no more aging. Perfect harmony. Equilibrium.” The crowd became suddenly more interested in what the Doctor had to say. “When the bombs fall, there won’t be anything left if we don’t prepare for it. So, we’ve created what we like to call the Extended Deep Equilibrium Network. A virtual reality held on a central computer here at the facility that houses the very thoughts and memories of the human race in order to construct the most perfect and accurate simulation of our reality possible. That is, after we take out all of the harmful or bad memories beforehand. That’s why we need each of you—You all have been selected as the basis for simulated human life. We have set up a state-of-the-art augmented reality chamber where the participants will re-experience static memories the exact way they remember them. Touch, smell, sound, sight, and even taste will remain intact. This is the only safe and efficient way which we’ve learned to collect these memories onto our chips. All of you standing here before me today might very well be pioneering the very fate of the human race as we know it. If and when the bombs drop, we will be prepared to house up to 500,000 Americans in state-of-the-art stasis chambers miles under this very spot. Finally, After the earth’s crust is blown to bits, we will be safe and sound, living indefinitely in the paradise known as E.D.E.N.”

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[puddygeeks]

Wᴇ Cᴏᴍᴇ Rᴜɴɴɪɴɢ - Tʜᴇ 100 Bᴇʟʟᴀᴍʏ x OC - Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 20: Cʜᴀᴏs Iɴ Cᴀᴍᴘ

Masterlist

Episode: Day Trip

Rating: Mature

Summary: During her time in the Skybox, Indigo formed a precious friendship with fellow outcast Octavia Blake, the girl under the floor. At first they thought their departure from the oppression of the Ark was a blessing, but quickly came to rely on Indigo's keen survival instincts. The 100 struggle to meet the challenges of Earth whilst Bellamy strives to lead the wavering teenagers and his irresponsible attitude fuels constant conflict with Indigo. Their only shared interest is in protecting Octavia and Indigo beings to suspect that there is a deeper cause to Bellamy's seemingly irrational choices. As the consequences of his actions mount up around him, he finally begins to confide in her and she discovers more than she ever bargained for. 

Fandom: CW’s The 100

Pairing: OC x Bellamy Blake

LONG TERM ONGOING PROJECT :)

My writing is entirely fuelled by coffee! If you enjoy my work, feel free to donate toward my caffeine dependency: will work for coffee

Warnings: Mature content. Non-consent, language, sex, self harm, suicide, anxiety, helplessness, torture, captivity/confinement, alcohol/drug use.

Chapter Twenty

Although it was crowded and the atmosphere was still tense from the storm, I was pleased to return to a solid structure for the night. Octavia and I bundled up some supplies in a corner and after some persuasion, she agreed to stop obsessively guarding the grounder and to actually try to get some sleep. It was hard for either of us to relax, especially when I saw Bellamy head up the ladder for his turn watching our prisoner as Octavia dozed on my shoulder. I was starting to feel the strain of worrying about the Blake siblings; any time I was busy with one of them I could almost guarantee that the other was getting into trouble. I barely managed a few brief cat naps throughout the night despite my exhaustion. Instead, I was one of the first up and about in camp working on repairs in the morning. 

In my time here I’d already become quite efficient at sewing and so I was quickly assigned to repairing the damaged tents. I had a brief cheeky visit from Jasper and Monty on their way back from their successful foraging adventure to offer me some nuts that they’d found. I declined the food, feeling too stressed to eat and I promised to join them for a proper meal later on. I settled into a quiet corner near the edge of camp to work and enjoyed the peace of the alone time. After spending time on the Ark living isolated in a cell, I realised that it was a challenge for me to adjust to the constant presence of so many people. I keep my mind from wandering over what trouble Bellamy and Octavia could have gotten into by now and instead reassured myself that both of them tend to make a big enough scene for me to notice. I spent a couple of relaxing hours sewing and watching the bustling activity of the camp as people woke and were assigned to various tasks. We’d managed to assemble a food line with people organising portions into neatly packed rations so that we could keep track of our supply levels.

I noticed several people heading over to the area where we’d been keeping prisoners and I watched their activity with interest. I assessed that they carried enough supplies to indicate that repairs needed to be done to the makeshift cells we’d created and I wondered where they would put the two attackers whilst they rebuilt. I continued sewing as I waited anxiously for someone to escort the two men past, but no such movement happened. After a while, more assistants arrived with shovels and two large sheets filled with a human shape were carried past me to the gate. I overheard the people who hauled them out discussing how glad they were that the storm had only killed the rapists of camp and I was relieved to hear that no one else had been hurt. I was conflicted on whether it was appropriate to feel no sadness at the death of two members of our camp, as I knew in my gut that I would have argued against killing them for their crimes. I decided to allow myself to feel relieved that the decision on what to do with them had been taken out of our hands and I tried not to feel guilty about it. Once I’d accumulated a pile of repairs, I made my way back into the fray and took them to add to the pile of fixed items that were waiting to be set back up in camp. As I organised the pile, Clarke approached me with a nervous manner and I struggled not to roll my eyes. 

“Hey Indigo, I couldn’t find you earlier. I don’t know if anyone’s told you yet but we’ve got video contact up and running with the Ark. They’re sending all the families in for a chat so if you’ve got anyone to contact-”

“Nope, my only family is down here.” I cut her off abruptly, not wanting to engage in personal conversation. I was honestly still frustrated with her for getting swept up in the torture last night, but I was too exhausted to confront her for her part in it right now. “Anyway, I’ll go back to the orphan corner. The Ark’s quite good at creating us, I’m sure it’ll be crowded in no time.” I spat coldly as I stormed away from her.

I returned to my sewing and tried not to be bitter as I watched people being called to the tent one by one for time with their families. I struggled not to picture my mother and when I failed, I imagined what she would look like now. My mind filled with images of her, the warm tone of her short auburn hair, her fair skin always a fawn white coated in hundreds of tiny amber freckles. It was one of the most beautiful, fascinating things about her to me, the little sporadic pattern on her skin that sadly never passed to me. I remembered the blue lagoon of her eyes, glistening with a multitude of hypnotising shades and if you paid enough attention, a miniscule ring of hazel right around the pupil. I saw them every time I looked in the mirror and it was still haunting for me even years later. It was only worsened by the fact that my eyes never sparkled like hers had in her happier years, in the memories of her that I cherished most desperately. Instead, mine were dulled and depthless, the same way hers looked after years of pain and suffering endured at the hands of the guard who destroyed both of our lives. The eyes that I inherited from my mother were a constant reminder of the state that she had been in the last time I ever saw her and I suspected it was a large cause of the self loathing I felt whenever I dared to look into a mirror. I was relieved to be pulled from my thoughts by the sound of footsteps nearby and I glanced up to see Clarke and Bellamy making their way out of camp. I casually approached them, trying not to show my concern and Bellamy seemed relieved as he saw me. 

“Hey, you heading out?” I asked with an interested look as I noticed the supplies they both carried.

“Yeah, the Ark mentioned some supplies nearby so we’re going to scout it out.” Clarke replied, whilst Bellamy watched me with a tense air about him that seemed to come from nowhere.

“Oh, well that’s promising. You sure you’re okay with just the two of you? I can back you up if needed?” I offered earnestly, but as Clarke opened her mouth to answer Bellamy abruptly cut her off.

“No I need you here.” He spoke firmly and I stared at him in confusion. He glanced over to Clarke reluctantly, then took my arm and walked me slightly further from her, lowering his voice. “Look, I appreciate you coming after me last night and I’ve been thinking about what you said. I will try to trust Octavia more, you have my word on that. But for now, I trust you. Can you keep an eye on her for me?” His expression was deeply serious, more so than the situation warranted and I felt like there was something more to his request that he wasn’t sharing with me.

“Of course I can.” I answered, considering him suspiciously. “Is there something else going on Bellamy?” I asked in a vain attempt to encourage him to be honest with me.

“No, I just…” He trailed off unconvincingly and I raised a brow at him. “I’m on edge with that grounder in camp. I’m trying to trust her not to do anything stupid, but if I’m honest, I’m expecting it. Just...tell me that you’ll keep her safe for me?” His eyes were strangely intense and he still gripped me tightly as he spoke.

“You know that I will.” I breathed with a confused tone, feeling nerves settling in my stomach as I assessed him. “So you just make sure that you come back safe, deal?” I replied, compelled to reassure myself that he would be coming back as I embraced the feeling that something was wrong. He didn’t answer me, turning to walk away without even a nod of acknowledgement. I grabbed his arm firmly to stop him from leaving. “Bellamy, I mean it. Be careful out there, please?” I added, my words quickly fading from assertive to pleading. He nodded reluctantly but it did nothing to relieve my fear. I watched him and Clarke make their way out of camp with a knot in my stomach and I had to force myself to return to the dropship instead of staying there to wait for their return.

As I entered the ship and searched around for Octavia, I wasn’t at all surprised to find her anxiously waiting on the second floor, under the hatch where the grounder was being held. I was walking toward her when Connor pushed past to bang on the hatch and yell up. 

“Hey Miller, Roma’s parents are waiting for you on the radio.” He called before turning on his heel to walk straight out without waiting to see if he had been heard.

My stomach lurched at the mention of her name but I tried to concentrate on the task at hand. From Connor’s words, it sounded like they were about to leave the grounder unguarded and I could already feel Octavia desperately staring at me. I diverted my path to avoid looking suspicious and fiddled with some supplies in an attempt to look busy. Fortunately Octavia understood my strange move and she quickly did the same on the other side of the space as we tried to look casual whilst Miller made his way down the ladder and stomped outside. Octavia immediately dashed to the ladder and I ran over to meet her. 

“Hey, Bellamy’s out of camp so I’ll try to keep the goons out of your hair. I’ll give you as long as I can but please don’t do anything reckless. I know you trust him and I’m on your side that this whole thing is wrong but you still need to be careful. Don’t let your guard down. Now go.” I rambled in a hurry, before practically pushing her up the ladder to speed her up. I knew in my gut that Bellamy would be furious with me if he knew what I’d just done, but our methods of protecting Octavia were different and I found that allowing her to make her own decisions and mistakes was working well for me so far. She was growing, which she needed to do in an environment like this and I maintained her trust. In my mind, it was most important that she always continued to trust me with her problems so that I could help when she got herself into trouble, instead of sneaking around behind my back like she did with Bellamy. I waited nervously on the spot whilst Octavia was upstairs and I expected to run into trouble at any moment. It wasn’t long at all until it came. Miller approached the ladder with a furious expression and I steeled myself for a conflict. 

“Miller, how were Roma’s parents? I can’t imagine that as an easy conversation to have. If it helps I can speak to them? I was with her when…” I trailed off, unsure of what else to say. I wasn’t even sure if what I’d offered would be of any help at all, and felt guilty for even trying to use it as a distraction.

“No Indigo, that wouldn’t help at all. Now get out of my way, I need to get back to guarding the piece of shit whose friends are killing us.” He spat, pushing past me. I jumped back in front of him to try to block him and he looked up at the hatch in frustration. “Oh goddammit, Octavia is up there again isn’t she? Will you two ever give it a fucking rest with getting in the way?” He growled and I shifted awkwardly. I was disappointed that I hadn’t been able to think of a better distraction and instead had to resort to reasoning with him.

“Come on Miller, she’s not doing any harm and Bellamy isn’t even here. She’s just treating him like a human being.” I answered in an attempt to diffuse the situation and I already felt in my gut that I was wasting my time as he viewed me with disgust.

“What about our people, the ones they killed? You think they treated them like fucking human beings?” He spat as he continued to try to get to the ladder, but I remained in front of him to block it.

“We don’t even know if he had anything to do with that. We don’t know anything about Earth, we didn’t even expect there to be people here! We can’t hold one man responsible.” I argued, trying to reason with him despite his growing anger. I couldn’t tell which of us would lose our temper first as he looked down on me and I felt my stomach turning in frustration.

“Get out of my fucking way Sloan! Bellamy isn’t here to shield you today, don’t fucking test me!” He growled, attempting to pull me out from the ladder but instead I instinctively pushed him away from me and held my ground.

In an explosion of anger he swung at me; his fist collided with my jaw and caused me to stumble back. True to my assurance to Bellamy that I could protect myself, I rammed into Miller, tackling him at his waist and splayed him out on the floor. I pulled my arm back to punch him but before I could complete the movement I was interrupted by frantic yelling as Jasper stumbled into the space. 

“Octavia! Indigo! Octavia!” His tone of blind panic caused me to let go of Miller and instead of continuing my assault, I jumped to my feet. As I did this, the hatch opened and Octavia frantically started climbing down.

“Jasper, what’s wrong?” I asked worriedly and as his gaze fell on me, he rushed over to my side. I glanced over my shoulder just in time to see that Miller was back on his feet and that he was in the process of reaching up to violently pull Octavia from the ladder. I felt my temper combust inside my chest and I turned on my heel, throwing all of my weight behind the punch that met his face like a bulldozer. Miller collapsed onto the ground unconscious and I shook my hand with a grimace.

“Fuck, Indigo, that was extreme!” Octavia breathed as she viewed me with a hint of amusement and I shrugged back. “Jasper, are you alright?” She asked as she gently placed a comforting hand on him in concern.

“I...I think I’m going crazy.” He spat as he reached out with a desperate grip on her shoulders. “Or the grounders are here, or I’m going crazy!” His voice was frantic and terrified and I raised my brows in surprise. Octavia gently released herself from his grip and she began to lead him to the entrance to the dropship. 

“Okay, just slow down.” She breathed, encouraging him to match her relaxed pace. “Just tell me what you saw.” As they reached the entrance and gained a view of the camp, Jasper seemed to hyperfixate on one point with wide, horrified eyes. I approached them, standing at his other side from Octavia and I watched him closely. 

“Him!” He whispered, his voice trembling as he pointed to an empty spot. Although it was obvious to us that he was pointing at nothing, the conviction in which he stared out and pointed insistently caused me to become concerned.

“Jasper, there’s no one there.” Octavia replied firmly as she tried to take control of the situation. 

“He’s right there!” Jasper yelled wildly back, finally losing control of his panic and I jumped at the sudden change in his demeanor. “We have to run, we have to run, why isn’t anyone doing anything-” He grabbed Octavia and tried to pull her but she dug her heels into the ground in resistance. I grabbed his arm to keep him with us and he stared at me in shock.

“Jasper! Are you on something?” Octavia asked and was unable to keep the annoyance from her tone any longer.

“Stay calm with him Tavi. He might be having a trauma flashback.” I spoke softly and slowly, as Jasper watched me with an expression that showed that he wasn’t really seeing me. He turned back to face Octavia with a slightly calmer manner, but instead I could sense a hint of slurring in his words.

“I love you.” He stated, causing us both to raise our brows in surprise. “And I just want you to know that we’re all gonna die soon, okay? I love you.” He rushed his words but also tried to cram food into his mouth at the same time. Octavia grabbed his hand midway to his mouth and revealed the nuts that he and Monty had offered me earlier. 

“Is this all you’ve eaten today?” She questioned, fixing him with a serious expression as I watched with a feeling of dread as I recognised them.

“It is but who the hell cares now?” He breathed, waving his arms around in a dramatic fashion and I had to stifle a snigger at his out of character behaviour.

“You’re totally bombed.” She sighed, glancing over at me for assistance and I looked back at her with concern as I shook off my amusement.

“Him and Monty offered those to me this morning when they found them.” I clarified as I met her eyes and she looked back at me with relief. “How many other people in camp did they give them to?” I asked, glancing around with a knot in my gut and her eyes widened as she realised the implications.

“I don’t know but we need to find out, fast. For now we need to deal with him before he causes a panic.” Octavia whispered, indicating to Jasper who was now hyperventilating and causing quite a scene. She stepped outside by just a few steps and I had to grip his arm to keep him from following her. She picked up a fallen branch and returned just inside the ship to hand it to him purposefully. “Here buddy, take this.” She breathed and I sensed a hint of sarcasm in her voice despite her best efforts to conceal it.

“It’s a stick?” He questioned as he took it and stared at her in bewilderment.

“No, this is an anti grounder stick.” She argued in a forced tone and I struggled not to snort at her prosperous plan. “So as long as you hold this and you sit right here, grounders won't be able to see you. See?” She spoke softly and encouraged him to take a seat inside the dropship.

“Yeah, that makes sense. I’ll just stay right here.” Jasper nodded, settling into his seat and accepting her lie far easier than I’d anticipated. Octavia looked at me and rolled her eyes, and I had to stifle a giggle. I was sympathetic for Jasper; he’d been through so much since we got here that I thought he was doing incredibly well to still even be functioning.

“I’m gonna do the rounds of camp and just check no one else is freaking out.” I stated as I glanced out at the seemingly calm space anxiously and Octavia nodded in agreement.

“Good idea. You take one side, I’ll take the other and we’ll meet back here.” She answered and I smiled at her responsibility.

I stuck my head into multiple tents and everyone on my side seemed to still be their normal selves. From what I could tell, people were still efficiently working on their duties. After checking most of my side, I decided to find Monty and I hoped that he’d be in a better state than Jasper had gotten himself into. When I entered their tent, I found Monty laid flat out in a pile of sleeping bags and staring up at the ceiling of the tent with a fascinated expression. 

“Hey Monty, are you good in here?” I asked gently as I stepped properly into the space and surveyed him. He turned to face me with a dosy smile and widely dilated eyes. 

“Hey, it’s the pretty girl!” He answered cheerfully and I chuckled under my breath at his strange demeanour.

“So, I’ve just been chatting with Jasper and he was telling me about the nuts you found in the forest this morning.” I approached slowly and sat beside him. I was careful not to startle him after Jasper’s earlier panicky behaviour and worried that I could inadvertently spiral him into a similar state.

“Oh the nuts! Yeah, they’re super good, they’re so tasty, I think they might be the best thing I’ve eaten since I got here.” He raved, smiling widely at me. “You should make sure you get some.” He added and I knew that baiting him would be easier than I had anticipated.

“You know, I really want to try them, they sound amazing. But everyone liked them so much that no one will share with me.” I said coyly, and his face fell into a profoundly sad expression as he considered my words. I struggled not to snigger at his dramatic reactions.

“What?! That’s so greedy! I’ll share with you pretty girl.” He smiled, pulling a small supply of the nuts from his pocket and handing them to me without any resistance. “It’s not much, but those are all I have left.” He admitted and I was warmed by his kindness.

“Thanks Monty, you’re the best.” I replied, forcing a wide smile back at him in an attempt to not be suspicious. The effects of the nuts seemed to be different on Monty, maybe because he hadn’t endured quite as much trauma as Jasper, or maybe he was usually a chilled, happy drunk. I reflected on what he’d been arrested for, and decided I wouldn’t be surprised if the latter was the case. 

“Oh you’re welcome Indie! I’ll always share with you. You’re nice, and cool, and pretty. So pretty. Did you know that? Bellamy doesn’t deserve you.” He rambled quickly in a slurred fashion.I struggled not to laugh now, wrinkling up my nose as I smiled at him. 

“Well it’s a good thing that Bellamy doesn’t have me then, isn’t it.” I replied earnestly as I appreciated his kind words, even if they were caused by blatant intoxication. “You know what Monty, you’ve done so well today gathering these delicious treats that I think you’ve earned a break. Why don’t you take a nap?” I suggested encouragingly as I got to my feet.

“Yeah, a nap sounds great. I love naps.” He smiled as he shuffled himself into a comfortable position and quickly dozed off. I smiled at his peaceful form resting in a self hugging pose before I crept out of the tent. I made my way back to the dropship and found Octavia waiting for me. 

“Hey, just so you know Miller’s back up and being a dick as usual.” She groaned in annoyance and I rolled my eyes. “He went straight back up there to guard Lincoln-I mean the grounder.” She added before dropping her gaze to her feet.

“Please tell me you haven’t named him? He’s not a puppy and no you can’t keep him.” I stated firmly, with only a small hint of playfulness. I hoped for a laugh but instead she stared back at me in an awkward manner.

“No, that’s his name. He told me.” She lowered her voice to a whisper to divulge this information and I froze to the spot in shock. 

“You said he didn’t speak English?” I asked in a hiss as I felt unnerved by this revelation.

“I didn’t think he could, but turns out he can.” She replied casually and I got the impression that she didn’t understand the gravity of this discovery. I stared back at her in horror, as I remembered how much of the conversation between Bellamy and I had been in front of the prisoner. I desperately struggled to think whether I had said anything that could endanger Bellamy if it were to get out and felt my heart hammering as I considered it. 

“Jesus, Octavia, did you tell him anything?” I grilled her with more aggression than intended and she seemed to be confused as she stared back at me.

“No, of course not, he didn’t want to know anything. I just told him I was sorry about what happened.” She explained and I could tell that she was insulted in the way that she spoke. “How was your side of camp anyway? Any more freak outs?” She asked in a crude attempt at changing the topic. I sighed but allowed her to guide me, as the nuts situation was a more pressing issue.

“No, everyone’s pretty normal, except for Monty who’s totally baked. But I took what he has left so at least he’ll start coming down.” I answered in a matter of fact manner. “Your side?” I questioned nervously.

“No weirdness at all, maybe Jasper and Monty just ate too many?” She thought aloud and I shrugged back at her. I was hopeful that she was right, as I couldn’t imagine the chaos we’d be met with if these had made their way around camp.  “Raven and Finn haven’t come out of their little love den so they should be fine.” She added with a hint of bitterness and I fixed her with a scrutinising look. 

“Did you check them?” I asked, eying her suspiciously. She avoided my gaze, shifting awkwardly and I sighed deeply in disappointment. I understood why she didn’t want to be around Raven, but I trusted her to be more mature considering the circumstances. “Fine, I’ll deal with Raven. Don’t do anything whilst I’m gone.” I added as I stepped away from her. She cleared her throat and I paused to turn to face her again. “Unless...you already did something?” I asked hesitantly. She looked incredibly guilty now and was barely even facing my direction any longer. “Octavia, what did you do?” I hissed in annoyance. I knew her too well for her act to fool me and I could tell from her face that there was something she was trying to hide.

“Nothing!” She exclaimed defensively. I raised a brow at her and she quickly crumbled. “Nothing undeserved.” She added with a coy smile and I felt my stomach lurch at her wording. “I may have had a part in ensuring that Miller got his rations.” She smiled and I groaned loudly as I understood that she had drugged him with the nuts. “Look, I’m just saying, if the guards were too high to keep an eye on him then it would be easy for him to just accidentally escape.” She explained her logic and I stared at her in disbelief. 

“I just...what?” I stuttered weakly as I processed her words. “I know I agreed with you that he should never have been brought here, or tortured, and I have absolutely no intention of allowing anyone to execute him, but we can’t seriously be talking about letting him go?! That’s a huge risk Octavia, you don’t know him, what are you going to do if he comes back with an army?” I ranted as I felt the nerves brewing in my stomach. As I was in the middle of glaring at her, I realised that she was looking over my shoulder and I turned to see a commotion growing in the camp. It seemed that the effect of the nuts had simply taken a while to kick in as people were now starting to behave strangely all over the camp. “Shit, we’ve got bigger problems right now, I can’t talk to you about this just yet. I know you have drama with Raven and I get it, but Finn is injured and still very early in his recovery, so I need to make sure he’s not high as a kite and busting open his stitches because you dumped your responsibilities over a grudge. Stay here, and don’t do anything reckless whilst I deal with this, and we’ll talk about it when I get back.” I spoke quickly, allowing my tone to convey my stress before I rushed to Raven and Finn’s tent.

It was a struggle to even make it through the chaos of the camp. I was stopped several times by random people in varying states of confusion and panic. I struggled to part from each of them as I worried over reaching the person who I felt was most vulnerable. When the tent finally came into view, I could hear raised voices from inside. I quickened my pace to deal with the conflict and saw Monty stumbling out of the residence.

“Monty, what are you doing? I thought you were having a nap?” I asked frustratedly as I caught sight of him. I couldn’t believe that the one person I thought I’d dealt with was already back out and causing trouble. He turned to face me with an overly cheesy smile and I scrutinised him with an unimpressed manner. 

“Oh hey Indie! Well I was trying to have a nap but the tides kept interrupting me so I need to find the moon so that I can change the tide.” He explained in a manner that was so articulate that it was almost believable. I stifled a laugh as I assessed that even whilst drunk Monty was trying to solve problems and studying things in his scientific mind. I smiled at him fondly as I formed a plan to get him out of the way without having to scold him. 

“Oh, the moon?” I replied in a fascinated tone. “You know I just saw it heading into your tent, but if you go in there you’ll have to close your eyes so you don’t get blinded by it. So maybe lie down with your eyes closed whilst you talk to it.” I made up whatever I could think of on the spot and waited anxiously to see if Monty believed me. Although he was intoxicated, I doubted that he had become any less intelligent and I worried that he would see through me.

“You’re a genius!” He smiled eagerly and I let out a breath that I didn’t even realise I was holding. He gave me an exaggerated high five before running excitedly in the direction of his tent. Raven stepped out of her tent, pulling on her jacket and looked around. 

“What the hell is going on?” She asked as she surveyed the chaos that surrounded us with confusion.

“Monty and Jasper found some nuts earlier that seem to be hallucinogens. Everyone's losing their shit.” I explained, watching closely for any strange behaviour from her. “Did either of you eat any?” I asked to confirm that she wasn’t going to fool me as the rest of camp had.

“No, thank god.” She breathed, widening her eyes as someone ran past bare chested and waving their shirt in the air like a flag. “I was with Finn so didn’t collect any rations.” She replied, rubbing her head in a stressed manner. “Does the pressure ever stop here?” She groaned as she met my eyes with an exhausted face. I was surprised to find that her tone was the same as it had been before she brutally tortured the grounder and then tried to fight me.

“No, welcome to Earth, the bullshit is constant.” I spoke coldly, no longer able to bond with her as I had over Finn’s unconscious state. I couldn’t pretend that last night hadn’t happened and I didn’t have the time to deal with the aftermath just yet. “Now, we’ve got around 90 dellusional teenagers to keep alive, so we’re gonna need every set of hands we can get.” I requested and Raven sighed deeply, sticking her head back into the tent.

 “Scratch that, get out here.” She spoke into the tent before straightening back up. 

“Thank you. If you could start gathering any stragglers at the edge of the camp and bring them back in that would be great. Octavia and I will gather the ones near the dropship.” I instructed and Raven immediately nodded in agreement.

As I approached the dropship I witnessed Octavia creeping back in with supplies bundled in her arms. I broke into a jog to catch her up and I could tell that she hadn’t spotted me nearing her. I cleared my throat just before I fell into step beside her and she jumped in response.

“What are you doing?” I spoke firmly and she turned to face me like a deer caught in headlights. I studied the items that she was carrying and easily identified some clothes and rations. I surveyed her with a mixture of disappointment and disbelief. I’d barely been gone for ten minutes and I couldn’t believe that she’d made such a dramatic decision in that time. “I said we’d talk about this. Are you really sneaking around to do this behind my back?” I asked with a hurt tone as I met her eyes. For a moment, she looked genuinely remorseful, but she quickly flipped to defensive behaviour. 

“Oh right, of course.” She breathed, squinting at me with annoyance. “You say we’ll talk about it and you expect me to just sit and wait whilst our best chance of getting him out of here is passing us by?! We’re not going to have a better opportunity than this, ever!” She spat and I was surprised to find her pressuring me at such an impossible time.

“Yes, it’s our best chance to free him, but how do we know that freeing him is the right thing?” I asked and she rolled her eyes. I dropped to a scolding tone to try encourage her to realise the seriousness of the conversation and I felt more like I was parenting a bratty child than discussing something with my best friend. “It’s a risk Octavia, what will we do if he comes back with an army of grounders? Will you still feel so justified in your decision when they are killing us in front of you?” I pressed back, in an effort to make her understand the gravity of the decision we needed to make.

“That’s not going to happen! He saved my life!” She argued and I half expected her to stomp her feet as she spoke in an indignant tone.

“Don’t be fucking naive! You don’t know him!” I yelled back as I lost my temper with her ridiculous behaviour. “He may have saved you, but then he chained you to a wall like a fucking pet.” I jabbed and I saw the flicker of offence crossing her face.

“If I’m wrong and he has an army of grounders, they are going to come looking for him! If we let him go, maybe he’ll show us mercy in return.” She suggested and I scoffed at her. “You need to ask yourself this: when Bellamy comes back and we have to make a decision about what to do, how are you going to feel watching him get executed, knowing that you could have saved his life?” She reasoned and I paced around in an attempt to manage the stress that she was piling on me. I knew that we had little time to make a decision one way or another, but I couldn’t judge which option was the most sensible. After all of my time preaching about survival skills and being tactical, I didn't know the answer. “Indigo, sometimes you have to take a chance and have faith in people. I have faith in Lincoln, I can feel in my gut that this is the right thing to do. Now I’m just asking you to trust me.” I stared at her in uncertainty, and my recent words to Bellamy repeated in my mind, much to my frustration. If there was one thing I never wanted to be, it was a hypocrite.

“Fine, fine!” I spat as I snapped under the stress. “But this is on you, this is your choice. Don’t make me regret this!” I added as I jabbed a finger at her and she nodded back thankfully. “You get him out, I’ll keep the few sober people distracted.” I instructed as I tried to form a plan within the limited time constraints. “Come and find me when he’s gone.” I sighed, furious at her for putting me in this position.