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#and that is SO incredibly frustrating. because if I just don't get it at all then I can go 'lmao we are watching/reading two COMPLETELY
bro-atz · 1 day
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sore all over
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in which: san hates seeing you miserable during your period, and he wants to help any way he can.
pair: san/afab!reader
word count: 2.2k
content: smut, pwp, nicknames (baby), established relationship, lowkey kinda self-indulgent shhh, period sex, safe sex, completely consensual!
rated: R | nsfw — minors do not interact
author's note: thank you @k-hotchoisan @ja3hwa @temptaetions @flurrys-creativity @mercif4l for the input (and the validation i lowkey needed to write this lol)
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Not going to lie, San was a little worried when you didn't get out of bed all day. Well, you technically did get up to drag yourself to the bathroom every so often, but then you immediately went back to bed. He knew that you were in a lot of pain because of your period, but he didn't realize that you were going to be completely out of commission that day.
Usually, your periods didn't hit you that hard, but this time around, it was like you were being stabbed in the uterus over and over again. Your entire body was aching like there was no tomorrow, and you truly thought it was going to be over for you because no matter what you did, you were in a world of pain. Hot packs didn't help, painkillers didn't help— nothing was working to alleviate your pain. So, you just curled yourself up into a ball and hugged a pillow to your body while burying your face in the pillow.
"Baby?" San asked as he approached you on the bed slowly from behind you. "Are you okay?"
"No," you mumbled into the pillow. "I wanna die."
"Don't say things like that, baby," San said with a frown.
"How about I kick you in the balls, then you talk?" you couldn't help but retort. "You would wanna die, too, wouldn't you?"
San shivered at the thought of anything hurting his crotch. He shook his head to keep himself from derailing from his original thought and said, "Well, I'm here to help you, baby. Can I do anything else to help you?"
You tried turning to face him, but your back was so sore that it hurt when you moved even a millimeter. Still laying on your side, you grunted in slight pain as you pulled your shirt up slightly and asked, "Can you massage my back for me please? My lower back?"
"Of course I can," San replied.
San knelt on the bed, his knees on either side of you at first as he waited for something, although you had no idea what until he spoke again.
"Shouldn't you lay on your stomach for me to massage your back, baby?"
You huffed in frustration, but before you could even contemplate turning, San said, "Never mind. Don't move— I think I can still massage you well from the side."
"You sure?"
"Yes, baby," San said as he left a light kiss on your temple. "I want you to feel comfortable."
San ended up lying on the bed right behind you, his warm hands resting on the small of your back. He pressed his thumbs into the dimples on your back, and you groaned. It was still painful, but the pressure from his thumbs did alleviate some of the pain, so it was worth the momentary suffering.
Every time San pressed his fingers into your back, you groaned and sighed, the massage actually working better than the hot pack did. You found yourself pushing your body towards his magic touch, sighs of pleasure tumbling out of your mouth as his massage continued.
What you didn't realize, though, was that San was getting harder with every passing second because your moans were incredibly sensual. He knew that you were in pain and suffering because of your period, but he so badly wanted to fuck you in that moment because you sounded so fucking sexy to him with your constant moaning and groaning.
Now that the dull, throbbing pain in your back was slightly relieved, you felt your breasts get more sore. You dropped the pillow you were hugging to the floor and tried to massage your own breasts, but your hands were too weak to get the same level of pressure that San was using on your back. So, you asked, "Can you... Can you also massage my breasts, please?"
"Of course, baby. Whatever you want," San murmured.
San's hands slithered up your shirt, his palms resting flat on your ribs, his fingers brushing your underboob. As he hugged you from behind, he pulled you closer to him, your back flush against his chest. He then gripped your breasts gently, his fingers pressing into your sore breasts and starting to massage them. However, when you moaned in slight frustration, he immediately used more power and gripped your breasts tightly. As he did so, his fingers brushed past your nipples, making you moan loudly and erotically as hell. Embarrassed, you covered your mouth, your face heating up.
"That was so cute, baby," San teased as he buried his face in your hair. "Can you make that noise again for me? Please?"
"N-No. Shut up," you rejected.
Despite you rejecting him, San was determined to make you moan like that again.
"S-Sannie," you moaned when his fingers started pinching your nipples. "I-I'm really sensitive right now, baby..."
"Do you want me to stop, then?" he asked you, his breath tickling your neck and his low voice tickling your brain.
"God, no... Don't stop..."
San chuckled. He pinched the slightest bit harder before tugging on your nipple. You arched your back and sighed sensually as he continued to tug. You reached back for his head and ran your fingers through his hair. You gripped the roots of his hair and tugged his head back slightly whenever he rubbed your nipples in his fingers.
Your eyes began fluttering the more he massaged, and you completely closed your eyes when you felt him begin to leave small little kisses in the nook of your neck. You were thoroughly enjoying his massage and got sucked into your own little world of pleasure, only for your eyes to fly wide open when he pressed his pelvis into your ass.
"Sannie, you're turned on right now?" you couldn't help but giggle as you asked.
You managed to reach back and cup his clothed hard-on in your hand, the man moaning slightly as you did so. His breathing hitched as he replied, "How can I not be when I'm touching you like this... And while you're moaning like that...?"
Finally, thanks to his hard work, your soreness was relieved just enough for you to turn in his arms. You palmed his cock over his pants and whispered, "How about I help you with this, then? It's my turn to help you, after all."
"Actually," San said slowly before gulping nervously. "I think there's a way we can help each other out, baby..."
"What do you mean?"
You were honestly left completely shocked when San suddenly got up from the bed and disappeared from your bedroom. However, moments later, San returned with a couple of towels and a condom.
"Do you think you can get off the bed for a second, baby?" San asked you.
"W-What— You can't be serious right now, San," you said in disbelief, your eyes wide.
"I read online that having sex on your period should help with your cramps," he explained to you.
"But— Won't the blood freak you out?" you questioned.
"It's a natural thing, baby. Why would I be freaked out?"
"It'll get all over you, and it'll stain the bed sheets! Also, it's dirty—"
"That's what the condom and towels are for," he interrupted you. "Don't worry, baby. We don't have to if you don't want to, but I think we could at least try it out."
Honestly, you had read the same information online about the benefits of having sex on your period, and it did cross your mind to ask your boyfriend to fuck the ever-loving shit out of you, but you didn't think he would be open to having sex when you were bleeding; so him being so willing to have sex with you on your period without you even asking kind of freaked you out a bit, and you would've probably pushed back a little harder had it not been for your hormones turning you on earlier when he was massaging your breasts.
You agreed, and San immediately set up the bed. He laid the towels down on the bed and removed the comforter and pillows to make sure they wouldn't accidentally get stained. He had you strip down to nothing before having you lay down on the bed.
As you laid on the towels, you were already worried about bleeding onto them, and you couldn't help but fidget. Noticing the slightly stressed look on your face, San quickly removed his own clothes and rolled the condom on his twitching, hard cock before straddling you. His fingers held your chin gently, forcing you to look at him as he lowered his body onto yours.
"Baby, don't think about it as blood. Think of it as lube, only red," he said calmly. "And if you're so worried about the color, then just close your eyes, okay?"
With a soft exhale, you nodded. Your eyes fluttered shut as San got closer to you, his lips meeting yours. He kissed you softly and slowly, your mind melting as his kisses got more sensual. You didn't have a single care or worry with the way San was kissing you in that moment, and you were so out of touch from everything else that you didn't realize he was rubbing the tip of his cock along your cunt.
San pushed his cock into you slowly but easily, his cock filling you up. You moaned against his lips, your hands clutching the towels underneath you as you started unintentionally getting nervous again. As a result, you couldn't help but clench your cunt, and of course, San felt your nervousness.
"Baby," San interrupted your chain of kisses with a soft sigh. "Relax..."
His hands reached for your arms. He brought them up and laced his fingers with yours. He kissed you again, and when he felt your cunt finally relax, he started moving. His waist rolled into yours slowly, and the dull pain you felt earlier started melting away thanks to the friction from his cock. You couldn't help but sigh with relief the more he moved in and out of you.
"You feeling better, baby?" San asked you, his forehead pressing against yours.
"A little bit, yeah," you admitted softly.
"Then, can I move a little faster?"
San lifted his face so he could look into your eyes. You opened your eyes and nodded before closing your eyes again— technically, San was blocking your line of sight, but you were still worried that you were going to see red, so you closed them again. San buried his face in the nook of your neck, his breath hitting your collarbone. He started rutting into you a little faster, making you sharply inhale and moan while exhaling.
The wet sound of his waist meeting yours repetitively was honestly freaking you out a little bit. No matter how you tried to think about it, you knew that the wet sound was not your arousal or lube, but before you could spiral thinking about it, San moved his lips to your ear, and he started whispering sweet nothings into your ear, drowning out the sound of him fucking you.
Your entire body started shifting along the towels as San not only sped up but started thrusting harder. He let go of your hands to hook his arms under your legs, pushing them upwards, easing the strain on your lower back as he quite literally bent you in half. You could hear him grunting and moaning softly in your ear with every thrust; you could tell he was close, and honestly, you didn't realize you were as well until he grabbed your breasts again.
San intentionally rubbed his fingers against your nipples, the pleasure from how sore they were building rapidly within you. It was when San rammed his hips into yours as hard as he could, hitting your cervix with the tip of his cock, did you cum. You moaned loudly and pushed your head back while arching your back as you came, San's cock still buried inside you.
As you came, you clenched your cunt tightly, giving San's cock the right amount of pressure for him to cum as well. He moved up so he could hold your waist tightly and thrust a couple more times into your cunt. He groaned and sighed, meeting your same decibel as he filled the condom he had on his cock with his seed. Hs cock twitched and throbbed inside you as he finished, and he dropped his head back into the nook of your neck.
The two of you were breathing heavily at that point. You remained in a puddle on the bed as San got up to take the condom off and properly dispose of it before returning to your side. He wiped his fingers on one of the towels as you finally reopened your eyes to look right into his eyes, still afraid to see the damage done from him fucking you during your period.
"We should get cleaned up, baby," San said. "Why don't I help you?"
San tucked his arms beneath your back and legs, lifting you off the bed. You held onto his shoulders as he walked you to the bathroom.
"Besides," he continued. "We could always go for round two in the shower. Right, baby?"
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vevobly · 2 days
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Being Jackie Taylor's Girlfriend Headcanons (Pre-Crash) [Part 1]
A/N: I honestly don't know what to think of Jeff. I mean, he's a completely good guy in my opinion if you take away the fact he cheated on his ex-girlfriend with her own best friend and proceeded to pose as someone else while blackmailing his wife about the trauma she went through as an angsty problematic teen later on as an adult in his life.
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Given Jackie's desire to maintain a perfect image and the fact that it's 1996, your relationship with her is undoubtedly kept a secret from most people.
You occasionally ask her if you'll ever make your relationship public, and she always insists that she wants to, but she can't—at least, not now. Both of you know how difficult it would be if your relationship were out in the open.
Jackie makes promises to you about going public, but when you bring it up, she either changes the subject or ignores it entirely. You guys get into arguments because of it sometimes. But nothing you and Jackie would ever dwell on for too long.
With Jackie constantly trying to live up to everyone's expectations about her, you're the only person she can truly let her guard down with. Of course, Shauna is there for her too but it's different. You're her support, the one person (other than Shauna) who sees through behind the whole image she works so hard to maintain.
If it wasn't already obvious, you're Jackie's escape from her life. With you, she can be herself. She doesn't have to be perfect or in control—she can just be Jackie. And I mean, she can be like that too with Shauna, but it's different. It's just different, okay? She doesn't always share everything going on in her life with Shauna, contrary to what everyone else thinks.
She often vents to you about the pressure she's under, the expectations placed on her, and everything else. Sometimes it's more of a rant, but you listen either way. You're always there to comfort her, reminding her that she doesn't have to be perfect. That you, along with Shauna and other people. will always love her for who she really is. You don't care if she's perfect or not, she'll always be your girlfriend no matter what.
You're not a big of sports but when it comes to Jackie and soccer? You are her biggest fan. Whether you're watching her practice, attending her games, or cheering for her on the sidelines; Jackie LOVES having you there. It gives her a huge boost of confidence knowing you're there to support her.
You two even have a little tradition: after her big wins, you two go somewhere private and share these really cute moments together. Sappy stuff, very incredibly sappy stuff.
Despite how she usually is, Jackie can be extremely protective of you. She makes sure to keep it very subtle but she keeps an eye on anyone who gets too close or questions your relationship.
When someone flirts with you? Jackie tries really hard to keep it cool, but her jealousy just gets the better of her sometimes. And since she can't exactly confront the person flirting with you, she resorts to other ways. Usually passive aggressive behavior. And if she's feeling petty, she might even direct some of that passive aggressiveness toward you. But she'll ignore you mainly for a few hours or days.
Balancing her relationship with you and the expectations placed on her only makes things harder for Jackie. You don't always bring it up, but you can sense just how torn she is between wanting to be with you and maintaining her "perfect" image. It makes you question your relationship sometimes, which one does she value more: you or her image?
While you TRY to be understanding, there are times when her desire (if you didn't know any better - obsession) with perfection frustrates you. I mean, it doesn't happen all the time. But when it does? It generally led to the two of you arguing or fighting. You both tend to ignore each other until one of you finally gets tired of it and apologizes.
Despite those rough moments between the two of you, you know Jackie really does care deeply about you—she's just struggling a lot. (Natalie tells you that's no excuse for her to be such a piece of shit towards you sometimes though)
Since your relationship is a secret, you guys both rely heavily on subtle gestures to show your love in public. Jackie will give you lingering touches when no one's looking, place a hand on your arm, brush her shoulder against yours, or sneak glances at you from across the room. Small things, yet they never fail to make your cheeks heat up.
Oh, and she also writes you these sweet little notes from time to time! Either slipping it into your locker or leaving it in your bag. It's nothing big, but it sure does make your heart flutter.
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necrotic-nephilim · 2 days
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I started in DC by reading fanfics, but as I began to read actual comics, I started to be unable to read the actual fanfic that got me into it in the first place because it's so out of character.
But there are still some stories that I love to read because I love the found family trope so much, even if it isn't really accurate to the source material.
As a comics purist (sometimes), are there tropes that you like enough that you'll still enjoy a fic even if it's not accurate to canon?
oh my god this is SUCH a fun question. bc while i started with the comics, there were certain characters and/or character dynamics where i was exposed to the fanon before the canon (just bc it's hard to read everything when you start out just to read some fanfic) and so i've definitely experienced the fanon to canon transition. (*especially* with Jason Todd. i had only read 80s/90s stuff where he was already dead or the New-52 bc that was on-going when i got into comics and man. the fanon misunderstandings i had about him before i got frustrated and sat down to read all his pre-Flashpoint stuff were absolutely bonkers.) and aside from that, whilst i tend to prefer canon over fanon, i'm not past giving fanon its flowers for occasionally having really interesting insights. occasionally. so some of my fanon "guilty pleasure" tropes would probably be
Morally Grey Tim Drake - this is one where if you try to back it up with canon, i *will* get salty about it. of everyone in the Batfam aside from maybe Bruce and Cass, Tim has the *most* black and white morals. often his internal conflicts are routed in such an inability to compromise his moral views and it can cause him to clash with other characters. he's *very* stiff and rigid in his beliefs and is *rare* to compromise in even the smallest ways. i mean, DC has repeatedly used Tim Drake of Tomorrow/Savior/Gun Batman!Tim for a reason. it's to demonstrate that of everyone, Tim *cannot* have his morals compromised. there's no grey area for him. he's zero or a hundred, so if he tips over the edge of "too far" he tips *all the way*, and doing so is one of his worst fears, how he could go "too far" if he let himself. a couple panels out of context from Red Robin (2009) (which was a grief spiral for Tim to begin with) don't change that. now that said. if it's done *right*, i sort of love Tim being morally grey in fanfic. it takes a specific flavor for me, and it's incredibly important to include that mental spiral along with it, of him struggling to justify it. i don't have any interest in "Tim Drake is loosy goosy with Bruce's morals and has the highest kill count and no one knows teehee" bc it doesn't play with the interesting parts of making Tim morally grey, which are fracturing his psyche. but all in all, i think it's fun to put Tim in a morally grey area and i will read it in fanfic and i enjoy writing it a lot
Joker Junior!Tim Drake - i've not written it on this account (yet) but on my main ao3 account one of my biggest fics surrounds this concept. this is one of those "well *technically* it's canon but only in a specific very divorced from the comics universe and would not work at all in the main timeline" so, i categorize it as fanon in that 95% of fics exploring the concept are not doing so within the Batman Beyond universe, but the main timeline. i just love it. I'll take any excuse to whump Tim, but this concept is so fun. psychologically breaking Tim will always be my favorite pastime. there are so many ways to explore the long-term effects this could have on him, how it could affect the Batfam. i'm not a fan of it being used as a "gotcha" to Jason or Babs' trauma with the Joker to paint Tim as the Ultimate Victim, but it is fun to see how their relationships would be affected by being mutual victims of him. (i have a vague JayTim idea where TIm fully retires from being Robin after being Joker Junior and killing the Joker, making Steph Robin for most of his typical Robin era and Jason still tracks him down out of curiosity bc he wants to know what happened and all. very underbaked but i've got thoughts.)
Renegade/Apprentice of Slade!Dick Grayson - this is another one where yes, this happened *sort of* in canon, but i highly doubt most people writing Renegate!Dick have read or are actually pulling from Nightwing: Renegade. it's just an exploration fo the concept fo Dick being Slade's apprentice and i will always eat it up in any capacity. whether Dick grows up with Slade from a young age, or chooses Slade for whatever reason later in life. it's not anything that works in canon bc it compromises Dick morally (similar to the above with Tim) and therefore will always come across incredibly fanon in most fics. but i can't say i don't enjoy it. it's fun to make Dick a little morally fucked up and see what you can make him under Slade's tutelage.
Jason & Damian Meeting in the League -there's no world where i believe this could work in the canon comics. (maybe in the Young Justice cartoon i suppose, but even then i think it's iffy) i would go as far to say it's wildly unrealistic. i don't see a world where Ra's would let Jason anywhere *near* Damian, bc Jason was Talia's pet project that he didn't approve of. that all said, there's something very interesting about how they *could've* met and them potentially bonding during that timeframe. them being somewhat brotherly during this time because Jason sees Bruce in Damian and sort of latches onto the kid and Damian is full of wonder hearing real stories about Batman and Robin, then that getting violently ripped away by Jason leaving the League is fun to me. it's fun how that could affect them within the Batfam and all. it's super fanon to me, but i do not care. i will eat it up
Bad Dad Clark Kent/Good Dad Lex Luthor - i will admit as a late, i've been less and less kind to this particular fanon bc of everything i've argued with people about, *this* one seems the most pervasive as misunderstood fanon. i don't mind when fanon exists, my gripe is when ppl try to claim it's canon. and the *arguments* i've had over this with people who can never seem to cite an actual comic are... frustrating. but that said, i think there is something fun to this strictly in fanon. the duality of who you expect to accept Kon and who you expect to hurt him being flipped is just sort of fun for the occasional guilty pleasure fic. it can make Kon's internal conflict a bit more interesting. the same goes for the Jon favoritism from Clark, it's not a canon thing (and i rlly wish ppl understood how complicated the timeline of Kon and Jon is and any distance from Clark toward Kon isn't malice, it's that Kon is from a timeline that Clark does not remember in the current canon so Clark just straight up doesn't know the poor kid.) but it's sort of fun to give Kon that complex of being overlooked and forgotten sometimes. making Kon just a *bit* more Luthor than Kent will *always* appeal to me in fanfic, especially if he *knows* it's wrong but craves approval from anyone who will give it.
Good Dad Bruce Wayne - i'll die on the hill Bruce is canonically a shitty father. maybe not to the extreme some people write him as, but he's not great at it. that said, i enjoy it in fanfiction. sometimes, i just want silly fluff or hurt/comfort where Bruce finally gets it right and manages to comfort whatever Batkid is in the fic. one of my favorite fics of all time is hinged on Bruce being a good dad, so i think it's just fun to explore how good the relationships *could* be, if Bruce was slightly less of an asshole. i usually prefer him as an asshole, but there are times i want low stakes nonsense.
Gotham Rogues Having Soft Spots for Robin(s) - just about every Rogue in Gotham has done something absolutely irredeemable, and most of them don't like or care about anyone in the Batfamily. but if there's a fic where one of the Robins inexplicably is sort of close with a Rogue and they have a cute silly relationship out of it? I'll eat it up i fear. Steph and the Riddler are besties? I'll believe it. Tim and Scarecrow get along pretty well? give me ten of these. Rogues protecting Robins just hits a spot. the unexpected nature of the relationship, as well as the fact they see each other regularly, can make a lot of good fodder.
#necrotic answerings#canon vs fanon#batfanon#batfamily#I was *going* to include “Janet and Jack Drake are bad parents”#then realized I don't really like that fanon anymore.#but I used to go *hard* for it even knowing it wasn't canon. it was all projection but still#nowadays I think the tragedy of Tim losing his parents the way he did is *far* worse if they loved him and were good to him.#I'm so serious about the Kon thing i've had *nasty* arguments where ppl got so rude to me telling me to “Google it”#like listen I get it. kon's canon backstory is currently difficult to understand#the timeline of the superboy mantle is a little confusing and most people have not read young justice (2019)#so for fanon it's far easier to simplify it as “clark just kinda sucks to kon” and i enjoy that#but the canon is also fun. it's fun when you consider how fucked up it is most people don't remember kon#and the timeline he remembers doesn't exist anymore.#also technically since they never killed off new-52!superboy on page there could be two superboys/kon-els running around rn. who knows.#i like to believe there is bc it's funny.#i have wanted to write a new-52!konkon/tim/kon sandwich#with the “is it selfcest or not” question#bc new-52!kon wasn't a clone of clark and lex.#so like. he's arguably a different character just sharing the name kon-el for some reason#also on the nightwing: renegade thing i know *damn* well most fanon-only fans haven't read it (no shade in that)#bc the fanon crowd despises devin grayson and she wrote it.#one day i'll write a meta about fandom treatment of devin grayson trust me.#this question was SO fun#i feel like i should have more answers?#if you'd asked me like six months ago this list would be three times as long#but the more i exist in this fandom somehow the saltier i get idk what's happening#so now i'm more and more attached to canon#but i will never begrudge someone for liking fanon#like i said my issue with it is the confusion of what is canon
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wonder-worker · 1 month
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Wild how we know that Elizabeth Woodville was officially appointed to royal councils in her own right during her husband’s reign and fortified the Tower of London in preparation of a siege while 8-months pregnant and had forces gathering at Westminster “in the queen’s name” in 1483 – only for NONE of these things to be even included, let alone explored, in the vast majority of scholarship and historical novels involving her.
#lol I don't remember writing this - I found it when I was searching for something else in my drafts. But it's 100% true so I had to post it.#elizabeth woodville#my post#Imo this is mainly because Elizabeth's negative historiography has always involved both vilification and diminishment in equal measure.#and because her brand of vilification (femme fatale; intriguer) suggests more indirect/“feminine” than legitimate/forceful types of power#It's still bizarre though-you'd think these would be some of the most famous & defining aspects of Elizabeth's life. But apparently not#I guess she only matters when it comes to marrying Edward and Promoting Her Family and scheming against Richard#There is very lacking interest in her beyond those things even in her traditionally negative depictions#And most of her “reassessments” tend to do diminish her so badly she's rendered utterly irrelevant and almost pathetic by the end of it#Even when some of these things *are* mentioned they're never truly emphasized as they should be.#See: her formal appointment in royal councils. It was highly unconventional + entirely unprecedented for queens in the 14th & 15th century#You'd think this would be incredibly important and highlighted when analyzing late medieval queenship in England but apparently not#Historians are more willing to straight-up INVENT positions & roles for so many other late medieval queens/king's mothers that didn't exist#(not getting into this right now it's too long...)#But somehow acknowledging and discussing Elizabeth's ACTUAL formally appointed role is too much for them I guess#She's either subsumed into the general vilification of her family (never mind that they were known as 'the queen's kin' to actual#contemporaries; they were defined by HER not the other way around) or she's rendered utterly insignificant by historians. Often both.#But at the end of the day her individual role and identity often overlooked or downplayed in both scenarios#and ofc I've said this before but - there has literally never been a proper reassessment of Elizabeth's role in 1483-85 TILL DATE#despite the fact that it's such a sensational and well-known time period in medieval England#This isn't even a Wars of the Roses thing. Both Margaret of Anjou and Margaret Beaufort have had multiple different reassessments#of their roles and positions during their respective crises/upheavals by now;#There is simply a distinct lack of interest in reassessing Elizabeth in a similar way and I think this needs to be acknowledged.#Speaking of which - there's also a persistent habit of analyzing her through the context of Margaret of Anjou or Elizabeth of York#(either as a parallel or a foil) rather than as a historical figure in HER OWN RIGHT#that's also too long to get into I just wanted to point it out because I hate it and I think it's utterly senseless#I've so much to say about how all of this affects her portrayal in historical fiction as well but that's going into a whole other tangent#anyway- I am forever judging historical/fictional books that center around or heavily involve Elizabeth which do not highlight these things#ofc there are other things but these in particular *really* frustrate me#just felt like ranting a bit in the tags because these are all things that I want to individually discuss someday with proper posts...
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chaosxcrushed · 6 months
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There's a certain CCCC summary video that we really, really like. We think it is a great video for people if they want to grasp the story more clearly, if they're confused, or if they're listening to the album for the first time.
That video being Chonny Jash and the Weight of the Mind on Youtube by W3tBl@nk3t. We think they cover it really well.
However, I'm sharing this for a different reason; they say few certain things that really struck with us until now, that I'd like to share with the fandom. Sometimes, we see people really just.. Miss the point of CCCC entirely, and I'd like to shine a light on what was said here. If you'd like to hear this for yourself on video, the timestamp is 35:57-36:45.
“..I bet we all could relate to that, they are the prime example of the side of you that suffers and the side of you that hates yourself for suffering:
The side of you that just wants to slow down and feel everything even to the unhealthy extent of not being able to do anything else(1), but also the side of you that so desperately wants you to get over it(2).
Sure, laying in bed all day every day to rot isn't healthy, but neither is boiling things down and invalidating your own emotions. Both are paths to inevitable disaster, and that's what Chonny is doing here. Keep in mind that the idea behind this album is being whole, and that means neither of these sides are entirely in the right or the wrong; this album is about inner compromise and acceptance(3).”
1.) The side of you that suffers; Heart. He is representative of Whole's emotions, he holds them. Your emotions can go haywire, especially when one's mentally ill and has no way of their feelings being validated. An emotional person like Heart suffers under the weight of crushing, devastating feelings. He wants to feel things out, have time to just process everything, even if it takes them days or weeks to get over it. It's not healthy, but feeling is what he does, and he wants to help because he knows he has importance. Solely focusing on just your emotions isn't the best thing to do, however.
2.) The side of you that so desperately wants you to get over it; Mind. Many people have been there, have wanted themselves to stop wallowing in their own emotions and just do something else, even to the point where you think feeling things out is unnecessary. This is also unhealthy, but not intentionally. Like Heart, Mind just wants to help, everything he does is in best interest. This is what he thinks will get them to move on the quickest; to leave behind emotions and focus on anything BUT that. Also not the best thing to do.
3.) This album is about inner compromise and acceptance; About being whole. Neither of Heart and Mind are right nor wrong. They have their own ways of doing things, of what they think will help their whole self out the most, but both are unhealthy despite the good intentions. They fight over who's wrong or right, when they shouldn't even be doing so in the first place. It's your thoughts against your emotions, basically; your feelings contradict your thoughts, and it leads to an inner war of sorts. This won't make things better, which is why you can't have Mind over Heart or vice versa; you'll need both of them. In the album, they are only able to be whole when they get along. They harmonize, they 'combine', they see eye to eye with each other and work together instead of fighting over and over. Inner compromise is achieved with this, and acceptance can lead them away from any disaster that there's to come.
What we're trying to say is that mental health is a large thing tackled within CCCC, and yet we see a lot of people who overlook it; thus, end up missing the point of the whole album. We see a lot of people believe Mind's perspective a little too much and treat Heart quite harshly, or the other way where people demonize Mind and say that Heart is perfect, when it's not really that in the slightest.
This is not a hate post towards people's interpretations of CCCC or how they view characters, I'm just saying that people can tend to overlook what's in the very narrative, and we see a concerning amount of people do such.
Anyways. Stream CCCC and put your Hearts and Minds in the get along shirt. Have a nice day.
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lord-squiggletits · 1 year
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I wish to love and appreciate idw optimus more too. But I also don’t want to read through the entirety of IDW 1.0. Can you please recommend me any specific issues/parts?
My best friend and fellow IDW Optimus lover made a post compiling all the comics with major story beats involving Optimus. Her list has a lot of the same things mine does, but also a lot more specific issues because she actually knows which specific issues of which series you can read specifically for ones focused on IDW Optimus. We don't agree on everything (I love some comics she dislikes and vice versa), but I would recommend her list simply because it's the most well-documented and thorough. Link I also have a lot of far less coherent but still genuine posts about IDW OP on my #idw op love tag.
As for specific parts I would recommend... since you don't want to read through all of IDW1, I'll go ahead and recommend you things based on in-universe chronological order rather than story release order, but if anything here interests you then I would recommend reading IDW1 in release order so that you get a better grasp of the story's context and how new lore was given out over time:
Chaos Theory and Police Action by James Roberts (The Transformers 2009 issues 22-23): I love love LOVE the way JRO writes Optimus talking to Megatron during the present day, it's very IDW-Optimus flavored because of how blunt, abrasive, and snappy Optimus is. There's a part in the comic where Megatron claims that he "knows [Optimus] better than anyone else," and he's right, but it's also true that Optimus knows Megatron well enough to see that he's bullshitting and it's very entertaining watching Optimus slowly lose his patience with him. I love the dialogue especially, no one (canon or fandom) has ever quite written the same IDW OP who's in this set of comics. It's also the most MegOP comic of all time because the sexual tension and the subliminal imagery of them doing BDSM together is unreal, plus it really captures their dynamic of two old soldiers who snap together with chemistry despite (or perhaps because of) being such long-time enemies. They just UNDERSTAND each other so well. Also, as a bonus point, Chaos Theory is where the pre-war lore for IDW1 began being published, so if you read Chaos Theory then the context for future pre-war lore makes a little more sense.
Shadowplay by James Roberts (More Than Meets the Eye issues 10-11): More pre-war lore that picks up where Chaos Theory/Police action left off. Important because it establishes a lot of IDW OP's character relationships, especially with "the Senator," Roller, and to a degree Ratchet and some minor side characters. I don't really know what to say about this besides it's just really fucking fun to read and features IDW OP getting to do cool shit like fight bad guys, investigate conspiracies, and do heists while also establishing one of his key character traits: being disastrously gay for suspicious men that he places entirely too much trust in to tell him what the right thing to do is.
Spotlight: Orion Pax by James Roberts: Okay, I'm really sorry for recommending JRO's stuff because it feels like favoritism and I don't even think JRO does the best version of IDW OP, it's just going in in-universe chronological order means that a lot of JRO stuff ends up first on the list. This one doesn't really have much of consequence in it and is honestly one of the weaker Spotlight issues, but like Shadowplay, it involves Orion Pax doing fun action shit and having way too much trust in a suspicious man (a new one from the suspicious man in Shadowplay).
The Autocracy Trilogy (Autocracy, Monstrosity, Primacy) by Chris Metzen: Oh my fucking god this is THE IDW Optimus to me, this trilogy is literally what made my ears perk up to even start liking IDW OP because it's what took me from "Optimus Prime, that's the guy who's the super awesome leader that everyone likes and is a paragron to everyone, yeah I know him" to "Oh.... holy shit this is such a good plot/worldbuilding, Optimus has so much CONFLICT and DRAMA with other people." It covers one of my favorite periods of the general Transformers formula, namely pre-war and early war plot events as conflicts come to a boiling point, there's political conflicts and personal conflicts, the planet is falling to shit and everyone is trying to escape and things are as depressing and scary as you would expect for a war that's literally about to consume a whole planet. I found the general plotlines to be gripping and intense (Autocracy is the weakest in this regard, but the writing gets better with each book) and I really like seeing how Optimus grapples with leadership. Especially the negative parts where people hate/fear him because of his association with Zeta's regime (the previous Prime, who Orion worked for), call his judgment into question, refuse his calls to action or waver in their faith in him, and so forth. I found it to be a really nuanced yet sympathetic view of IDW Optimus that made me fall in love with him. Because really, the thing that humanizes a character the most is making them flawed, and Autocracy trilogy Optimus is so incredibly flawed and conflicted. And also it shows him being shit on by other characters in a way that's well written in a plot that makes sense and doesn't feel like the entire plot is conspiring to shit all over him.
The Death of Optimus Prime by James Roberts and John Barber: This comic is basically the transition from phase 1 to phase 2, it establishes the branching plotlines of MTMTE and exRID, so this is another one of those comics that will help you understand IDW1 better if you want to read for more than just Optimus. Anyways, DoOP is great because it has a similar vibe to the Autocracy trilogy in that society is chaos and full of people who fucking hate Optimus' guts for the role he played in the war. You can also compare/contrast the way OP was before the war and early in the war versus the way he is after the war and see how much the war changed him (Chaos Theory also kind of is like this but it more shows bitchy Optimus specifically in his dynamic with Megatron). It also features a fair amount of Optimus Heroic Moments, Optimus Brooding, and Optimus being so fucking depressed he's literally sad when he wakes up and realizes he's not dead dude get some fucking therapy please I'm begging you--
Punishment by John Barber: This skips ahead quite a bit in the story but I think stands decently well on its own without having to understand the wider context. It's one of Barber's best-written stories and one of the only ones I've come back to reread for its own sake. It features Optimus trying to solve the murder-mystery of a bunch of Decepticons, featuring really cool plot conflicts like Optimus trying to navigate post-war society and the tensions that still linger from the Autobot-Decepticon war. I really like this one because it has that whole "not everyone loves OP and a lot of people hate him for justified reasons" thing that makes IDW OP a much more 3D character, PLUS it has some politics with the way Decepticons are treated post war. And I think it does really interesting things with Optimus in terms of showing how he DOES have this idealistic, merciful side that wants people to choose peace and letting go of vengeance, but of course it's not so easy to expect that of people after a 4 million year war. So when people inevitably choose violence, Optimus gets frustrated and angry and lashes out in a way that feels very real and understandable. It's a really good example of a comic that shows IDW OP in a nuanced way, showcasing both his virtues and flaws in a complicated situation that shows that there's no easy solution to these problems and no way for Optimus to escape without getting his hands dirty. Unlike future comics which involve OP being in complicated situations but instead the plot is super contrived and seems to overwhelmingly shit on OP without ever mentioning the very obvious ways that he could be defended, creating a story that's conceptually fascinating but incredibly mediocre in execution.
If I had to recommend any single one of these to read, I would recommend the Autocracy trilogy the most because it's literally the story that made me love IDW Optimus and made me realize "whoa, this guy is super nuanced and not what I expected of him." That's not to say that no other Optimi have depth and nuance, but I think the Autocracy trilogy was great for me personally as one of the first IDW1 comics I read. It struck a really good balance between "uh Optimus was part of some bad things that warrant being shit on" and "Optimus is struggling to overcome those bad associations he did, succeeding with some people and failing with others" and "Optimus is an optimist who has faith in others even when they don't have faith in themselves." Also, as a bonus, the Autocracy trilogy also features cunty murder-husband Megatron, an interesting character arc for Hot Rod, and the Dinobots as really interesting supporting characters (including their leader, Grimlock, having a cute veteran-rookie dynamic with Hot Rod that I wish we got more of).
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redysetdare · 5 months
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Hey you! yeah you stop! don't type another word! listen - listen I know what you're trying to do. you think you're being helpful by going on someones post and telling them to look at a specific media that has the basic similarity to what their post is asking for. But I'm going to tell you a secret, okay? They probably already know it. People have probably already told them about it. they probably have checked it out. because when you have such limited options it's kind of impossible not to hear about these things...and guess what...guess what - they might not of even liked it. Because if someone is asking for representation they likely want it in a story that they'll enjoy. yeah, not everyone wants to read YA drama/romance books just for the representation, crazy i know. Yeah some of us actually want well written stories about things we actually care about. some of us want characters to be like us while they fight dragons or something.
so stop typing that message about how OP should totally check out X media. maybe, if you really wanna recommend something, maybe just ASK OP is they are looking for suggestions and what kind of stories they like so you know if that's even what they're looking for. trust me, they'll appreciate your input a lot more if you just ask.
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anotherpapercut · 1 year
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I love when I'm talking to someone and someone else who I don't know like that butts in to ask a really personal question that informs the conversation they are not a part of
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musical-chick-13 · 9 months
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The WORST thing is when you genuinely can see the appeal of a ship it just happens to be the right combination of things that bugs the HELL out of you, so you can't even be mad about the fact that it exists because, like. You get it. You just don't like it.
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electricfied-wolf · 1 year
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it is saturday and I am but a simple highschooler and I am so so tired and it is literally 12:15pm and I want to just sit here and eat my banana pudding
#failing to control those emotions I mentioned earlier I am so angry and sick and frustrated#fuck the world why is fandom so complicated#I keep thinking abt shit I've heard and shit I've somewhat experience and I want to scream into a pillow for four hours#engaging in interests always makes me half regret it bc of all the shit I have to hear abt because of fandom.#I don't regret joining any of the fandoms because of the INCREDIBLE and AWESOME people and friends I get to meet because of it#but stuff also is bad and annoying sometimes#I am starting to understand why most people refuse to engage and interact with other people in fandoms. its because#you slowly learn of all the drama and then you end up feeling like you're being pulled on by either end#it feels like I'm constantly the rope in a game of tug of war when it comes to most fandom spaces. like this experience happens too often#because ohhh you have this one side who believes this and another who believes that#AND SOMETIMES I MAKE STUPID POSTS OR COMMENTS THAT I GET REMINDED OF A BUNCH AND I WANT TO CRY.#I'm literally a fucking kid dammit I am not trying to change the world or anyhthing I just have opinions and I say them and sometimes#I speak before I think and sometimes I'm wrong and that is something that happens. not all of my opionions are solid locked in constantly#and SOMETIMES people who I think are cool turn out to be LESS COOL and SOMETIMES I feel like I say or do things that ruin my friends'-#-fandom experience and I fear they secretly hate me#okay that's it rant's over now
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cum-allergy · 3 months
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..
#I'm so tired#i napped for like 2 hours yesterday and then slept for like 8#it's like I'm just exhausted and can't get out of it#i just want to sleep#sleepy#might just sleep for another 30 mins before work#something about writing these puts me right to bed#thinking about one of my coworkers saying how I'm always the most positive one#and just like. lol#thanks#I've had so much practice putting on another face#i hate it when customers waste my time#i feel like most of my job is just having my time wasted#that's most jobs though#i don't think I'm built to be alive (job version this time)#thinking about job setups that would accommodate me and just nothing really really does it#post of the irrational anger rn but. I'm so frustrated with my partner for saying something about how my job is bad for me like i don't know#it's like yeah i know but I'm actively trying to not think about it#because i just need this position for a year i just need it for a year#I'm trying to avoid thinking about it like this cause now it's triggered a spiral#and like. whatever#idrk#i don't want to eat i don't want to sleep i just want to be dead#I'm just so fucking annoyed cause once i open a ten like this with my emotions it's so hard to close it#so it's like. thanks for opening that tab right as I'm having an incredibly busy week#it's very busy at work I'm helping my other partner move and i have a family gathering in like 4 days#it's just all so much#i haven't really eaten in so long#and now since I'm traveling with them i have to make amends even though i don't want to#i don't even see a resolution to this I'm just being a brat i just want to be left alone and i just want to not do anything
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vamptastic · 3 months
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it's so fucking annoying that the public opinion on SSRI seems to be that they make you into an emotionless zombie and the side effects are clearly not worth taking them, the implication being that nobody was in a bad enough state before taking them that they may consider the side effects worth it. like idk man i just don't care that much when you compare it to uncontrollable mood swings and constant intrusive suicidal thoughts. like ppl act as if this is some kind of anti-pharma progressive line of thought but they don't actually give a shit about informed consent before beginning the medication in any meaningful sense, they mostly just seem to think depression isn't real and nobody would continue taking antidepressants if they knew there would be drawbacks. i assure you my consent is very informed i just don't like being completely out of control and scared of myself, which is what i was fucking like off medication. maybe someday if i have a few months of my life free to have outbursts at people and desperately want to kill myself ill try a new medication or weaning off this one or whatever. if you want it that bad you can prepare the cash and some apology letters.
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countingnothings · 6 months
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I have a client right now with a difficult problem: 1) she (a scholar of colour) has Done the Thing and gotten herself the ballsy confidence of a mediocre white man. This would be entirely laudable, except that 2) her writing is also that of a mediocre white man.
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babybearnini · 7 months
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Hate that my insurance is now not wanting to pay for one of my inhalers bc it's not for emergencies and it's for maintenance like what do you mean
#if you have to v take albuterol more then once a week doctors tell you it means ur athsma is not well managed and you need a maintenance med#and i take that AND the albuterol DAILY STILL#like motherfuckers when i say i cannot breathe well#i mean i contemplate going to the er MULTIPLE TIMES A WEEK#because i cannot fucking breathe#i maybe have 1 or 2 good breathing days#text#insurance ppl make my eyes twitch bc what do you mean i don't need this medication#like ppl with asthma should not be having to have active medical emergencies on a regular basis to be taken seriously#it shouldn't get that far do they not know how harmful that is to the lungs? it will permanently damage the way we breathe#if not treated correctly#not to mention is very harmful and stressful on the heart as well#not having enough oxygen. constantly going into tachycardia because thats what albuterol does.#like WHY#i should be able to climb stairs without feeling like I'm fighting for my life#i should be able to go to the grocery store without feeding like I'm running a 10k marathon#i should he able to go to my family get together and not having to a BUST OUT THE NEBULIZER IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY#I'm getting frustrated#it was so incredibly hard to breathe today my chest was hurting so bad and all i was doing was sitting & talking to ppl#ugh and just a few months ago i was running in the Dallas Airport with my best friend trying to catch our next flight on time#i couldn't fathom that right now. i simply wouldn't be able to do it :(
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girlscience · 1 year
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what if i killed myself. what would my job do then huh.
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rosysugarr · 1 year
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Y'know, I started to type out a massive post about how sad and frustrating it is that every USAmerican southern character in anything is presented as ignorant and uneducated and "dumb" and even hateful, how there are people here with degrees and careers and incredibly complex skills that took years to develop and learn, and then I realized, fuck that-- yeah, there are a lot of people with no or little education down here. We're fucking poor. A lot of us just can't afford college. A lot of us have to get jobs instead to support our families. Some people dropped out of high school to do that. And you know what? They're still human beings who deserve to be represented as whole, real, functional people and not flat archetypes.
Like yeah, I could talk about all the talented and smart people who came from down here, but the "simple," the disabled, the uneducated down here don't deserve the way the media depicts them, either! Because the bulk of them are good people who just got dealt a bad hand because we are so pathetically poor down here. And yeah, that includes the addicts. We have a lot of addicts down here. And that isn't our fault, either. when you're dealt the worst possible hand and no one wants to help you, everyone regards you as being trash, you're gonna cope however you can.
Everyone wants to write us off and present us in media as pretty much just. nothing people, but there are many, many people here of all walks of life who deserve respect and who need help that they aren't getting BECAUSE nobody shows us any fucking respect, and the way the media depicts us consistently does constant, DEEP damage to the way the rest of the country views us. It isn't fucking fair and it isn't fucking okay.
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