#and thats just if youre a guy it def wouldnt be easy for someone with masato's condition

[todayisafridaynight]

was thinking about fire emblem (sorry) and thought about your arakawa family posts so here. what classes would the arakawa family be if they were in an fe game...

arakawa = as if i gotta fuckin say it. assassin

sawashiro = dread fighter

ichi = As If I Gotta Fuckin Say It Part II. hero

masato = sniper, exclusively equipped with crossbows. maaaaaaaybe bowknight if he doesn't get tired riding the horse

aoki = sage

mitsu = bard

[dangopango00]

COLLEGE BAND AU HEADCANONS

Legato x gn reader

It was pretty rude of me to just randomly put an au fic without explanation so heres the explanation bye still self indulgent; always will be i fear

more utc

- OK FIRST ABOUT HIM. He works for knives still but in this au his job is to cause vash suffering by 😭😭… outselling him??? Ridonkulous ik but go with it

- Knives wants him to outsell vash so vash realizes that art and human creativity is obsolete and instead help him run his tech/AI company that also focuses on helping global warming (humans suck they should die. robots go!)

- Hes apart of a band to rival Vash’s and ofc its the Gung Ho Guns; he hired them to play for him

- Tbh i think their genre isnt set in stone bc theyre purely doing this to outsell vash so I think theyd keep the core of it rock or indie but it has a lot of shifting gears, doing wtv gets the most traction

- Legato is the bassist but he knows keyboard if their keyboardist is absent

- I think legato writes most of the songs himself (to impress knives ofc this is still HIS mission afterall) and gets a lil sad and defensive if it flops LMFAO even if its just his first album; considering how Knives talked down on music Legato thought it’d be somewhat easy

- It DEFINITELY took him a while to write things that had some semblance of humanity in it tbh he had to have either another less emotionally stunted member write it or a ghost writer but he did still practice writing in his spare time since he had nothing better to do

- NOW ABOUT YALL. Ur roommates in a college dorm; if it were up to him he’d have an apartment but knives wanted him to keep an eye on vash and vash lives on campus

- He only has like one or two official rules as roommates but if ur pissing him off with sth thats not on the list he WILL let u lnow LOL

- The only rules established off rip are:

1. MYOB

2. Do not touch him (no tolerance rule if u touch him without permission he WILL be out of there asap even if its a lot of trouble and will probably even idk push u or sth ignore u forever, hope and pray on ur downfall idk its hard to translate his violent tendencies to modern society without getting him arrested ok)

- You often eat together when he isnt busy tbh usually in silence but its ok its comfortable silence (to him at least)

- Ok im gonna try to say this in the least creepy way possible but like. He likes to observe you for inspiration HEAR ME OUT. Just seeing u go about ur day and since hes always in first person POV seeing someone else just… live gives him immense inspiration on what to write

- He also gets inspo from other artists and heres where u come in hehe. You are a solo artist who doesn’t show your face and your speaking voice is pretty much completely different from ur singing voice (Not like insanely different but if you heard the two separately you wouldnt really connect the dots unless ur one of those people who connect voices easily + depending on ur genre u could be using a completely different tone of voice than usual)

- Your genre is a little similar to Legato’s in the fact that although you keep your core component (Love theme IMO but hey i dont make the rules yes i doo) you change around the other moving parts such as the instruments or wtv so he listens to your music often though he never really thought it would be you; just never really thought about the possibility

- Im not gonna say hes like obsessed with your artist persona or anything but he does (as much as he would rather khs than admit it since according to Knives music is the bane of this world) greatly enjoy your music and often finds himself getting your songs stuck in his head

- Hes def a gatekeeper i mean this is the guy who can name every song in ur discography (Not saying much though since you dont post too often)

- ANYWAY u have no idea this is going on since hes prone to just listening to music in his headphones rather than showing you or blasting it for the world to hear so ur relationship is developing as normal roommates

- You often get him stuff from the college snack shack and in return he often gives u whatever he doesnt want from the dining hall (that sounds crappy but its usually good stuff like ur fave fruit or cheese and crackers or sth)

- After u become a bit closer going on trips together becomes common not like vacation but like a little drive to a department store or him taking you with him to practice/performances

- SPEAKING OF PRACTICE U work part time at a coffee shop and it has a practice room which is where he usually brings his band it sounds random but I’ve encountered a coffee place like this before ok

- Killing two birds with one stone, he gets to see you on his way in and out and he gets a quiet place to practice + Vash often brings his band here too so ig killing two birds and one afterthought with one stone

- Other GHGs (NOT greenhouse gasses. Gung ho guns) think that ur another one of his groupies probably �� he def has tons i fear

- He def writes songs about you or rather than about you, references how u make him feel but he is in denial and thinks feelings are embarrassing so hes just like no they just gave me inspiration

- Its ok though the only one he has to justify himself to is himself bc hes like. The only one who knows its about u since his songs are never rlly about romance and in the rare cases that they are its very subtle

- When, if ever, he feels ready for touch he frames it like hes doing u a favor lmao “I will allow you to (blank)” he is tbh

Random Misc:

- Hes majoring in Ecology or Conservation Biology prob minoring in sth like computer science (his entire life surrounds Knives what did u expect)

- Sleeps in his daytime clothes and ur always like ???? Esp bc he wears jeans often… U two went to the department store one time and u convinced him to let u buy him pajamas so he could wash the day clothes overnight

- Hes a big ass fan of vinyls and cds and just physical ways of owning things like music or games but wont admit to himself he likes it its just for the aesthetic ok even though he has a record and cd player

- Wants to cut ur hair and feels like its one of the most intimate things u could do without having to touch too much (forever subscribed to knives cut his hair hc)

- If u have a lot of accessories and generally just a lot of stuff he gets annoyed if it isnt properly organized and will organize it for u wnv hes having writers block

- If ur an artist he has u make his merch designs n stuff 😍😍 he pays very generously he rlly dgaf abt money tbh + Knives sponsoring him

A/N: irrelevant but idk whether to imagine him as tristamp or trigun design like both are so good but Ok im done yapping ty

[jackienautism]

Now I’m really curious about your thoughts on the other counselors. I don’t really have any strong opinions on them much tbh idk why. Maybe it’s the whole “horny teenager” trope or something

(finally getting around to this. sorry for taking so long dfkldg)

yeaaaah fair enough dfgjndg thats exactly why i get pissed off playing the game tbh. it just becomes so convoluted with this romantic whatever bullshit that it gets SUPER TIRING...... but that's ok though bc silas kaylee and caleb need someone to love them unconditionally right?

anywho! i appreciate you wanting to see my other unfiltered opinions on the characters kdfgdfjg bc gosh do i have a lot. especcially for TQ bitches. as i just ssaid,

i AM going to get unfiltered and potentially brutal so if anyone is your ultimate bestie i recommend not reading (abi and laura are safe though of course<3) (mainly because nothing about either of them necessarily irritated me LOL and im easy to irritate)

im going to reference my thoughts on the characters from a note i wrote after playing through like ? chapter 4 for the first time. but honestly not miuch has changed. and just to preface this a good portion of my negative opinions come from the campfire scene in chapter 2 LOL like. when i first played the game i began disliking like more than half the characters here alone

//

dylan: talked about him here (its not positive)

//

nick: i just think hes a prick who doesn't deserve abi 🤷 of course he was given the short end of the stick in terms of screentime, but its kind of funny bc kaitlyn has a similar amount of Actual walk around time and she's there like. the entire game LMAO so yeah that pisses me off. nick has 3 moments where you play as him, and kaitlyn has 5/6, depending on how you separate her section in chapter 10. they both have the same amount of Get To Explore And Walk Around time though, which is a whopping total of one thanks guys. anywho. even before he began acting like a creep i didnt like him lol... and no surprise but it all stems from chapter 2...

long story short, i dont doubt that nick actually cares for abi and likes her but i think in the grand scheme of things it mostly has to do w/ him wanting tits and ass... sort of similar to mike's whole deal... and i believe this based on the bullshit he pulls w/ emma. yeah he says that "tHiS mIgHt NoT bE a GoOd IdEa" and yet he still plays along despite dylan saying that 2 people can kiss AS LONG AS everyone consents. he could've gotten out of the situation. and yet he fucking didnt. i dont care if he didnt realize the consequences of his actions, if he TRULY liked abi he wouldnt have done this shit in the first place. "ive had my moments, im not proud of some of the stuff ive done" DOG YOU JUST HAD A MOMENT AND YOURE NOT EVEN FUCKING APOLOGIZING TO THE PERSON YOU HURT!!!!!! idc if it technically wasnt totally his fault. he still was involved in humiliating and upsetting abi. all he blames it on is playing alonog with emma's plan to make jacob jealous and aside from that just being such a shitty anf fucked up excuse in general, its not even ???? true?????????? GOD. IM SORRY. THE WHOLE SITUATION MAKES ME SO UPSET

//

jacob: as said in my previous TQ / UD rankings... i really flip flop w/ him alot. however im def leaning towards neutral to dislike NGL. i HAAATED his whole thing w/ emma like incredibly so. however. i did feell real bad for him during chapter 1, despite already knowing that he was the one to bust the truck up and keep everyone there another night. i felt bad despite already having a reason TO dislike him. kaitlyn was being mean for no reason. nick and dylan were being mean for no reason. it's just... it's almost like he was being used as the group's laughing stock. but as time went on i just continually became less and less willing to sympathize . hell, he's just a INFINITELY less sympathetic josh... of course seeing him crying and upset in ch 3 was sad, but at this point i don't really know what he expected im sorry. he really dragged all these other people into his bullshit with emma. and it's more than clear how emma feels about their relationship, of course emma wasn't great either with him, but jacob isn't an angel ... EITHER in this situation. of COURSE he couldn’t have known that the night would go the way it does, but it doesn’t negate the fact that fucking up the truck was a shitty move regardless LMAO as said previously, i HAAATe how fucking possessive he is of her. like when nick tells jacob that he could see what emma wantss? and jacob just laughs it off? it's so fucking stupid dog. character wise though, he of course has a lot going for him and i can see why people find appeal in him. especially seeing hwo many stereotypes theyre subverting, in terms of jacob showing emotions and shit. but for me personally, it's a no

//

ryan: my man🤝 even after all this time.... i find him very respectable and i very much appreciate him. similar to my deal w/ abi, even his more "asshole-ish" moments / dialogue choices (aside from a few off the top of my head LOL) are like. justified... and in character... like. him being so pissed off at and wary of laura? like????? laura is my beloved but this random girl just popped out of nowhere, killed one of his closest friends, and now wants to kill what he has of a father figure? like yeah id be acting like ryan too if i were put into his situation LMAO yeah you can be annoyed w/ his actions and behavior, but in context? the way he's acting is understandable and justified. it doesnt DESERVE criticism, because there's nothing to criticize! he's acting as any normal person would! of COURSE it's annoying how he doesn't BELIEVE laura, that's a whole other can of worms, but overall he's allowed to be a pissed off little bitch. and him potentially going against the whole party idea? that line of dialogue is just more in character for him i will not accept any other answer. it makes no sense that he'd suddenly go against chris' word. and it PISSES ME OOOOFF seeing how the game still like ? has ryan show up to the party despite being adamant against it.

ANYWAY.... ppl don't appreciate his autistic swag like i do. "he has no character" "he's boring" TO YOU. y'all rly see a character mainly speak in a monotone voice and rarely smile / show expression and go. yeah he's boring . do you not see the like . connotations of that. like be for real. he’s like. one of the only few genuinely good ppl here lmao and seeing how chris says that ryan is one of his fave counselors and how he TRUSTS him enough to hold all this responsibility + have all these in depth talks w him it’s just. you see what kind of person ryan is just from that. and how so far ryan is the only character (while you’re in control) who’s able to interject whatever bullshit is being said at the moment it just. i’m sorry. he’s just a good guy. i respect how he’s willing to go against the bulk of the group during the whole party or lodge thing. i also respect that he’s willing to put a fucking end to dylan’s invasive fucked up truth question. i KNOW that it all depends on the Player to choose these specific options BUT. they just fit ryan’s character more so🤷 what can i say. fuck everyone else

//

max: my bf (real)

laura: my gf (real)

abi: me (irl)

//

emma: in my original note i said that i was leaning torwards neutral to dislike lmao....... oh have the turns havbe tabled. anywho. i think shes such a stupid dumbass bitch. she's so funny for no goddamn reason. i am shoving her down a flight of stairs. i love her character sooo much. i hate how she acted with jacob (despite most of it being her people pleaser side Showing but, that's a whole different conversation i am willing to have). she's suuuuch a beloved but gooooooood god i draw the line at being such a shitty friend to abi. that's my biggest complaint when it comes to emma and her actions. i understand that she has a moment where she's like "you're my best friend, i need you" and i fucking eat that shit up but almost everything else that happens and happens prior..... just goddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

to get started. most of this is gonna be nitpicky and personal shit, so if you think it's small and shouldn't be addressed, then you're probably right LOL im just ultra sensitive to this sort of stuff due to past personal experiences. ANYWAY!!!!!! you know the little teasy comment emma makes towards abi after you avoid hitting the squirrel? how she's like, "this is her first time asking a guy out like EVER"? it makes me wanna beat her up fr kldfggnfg bc it's like... it's not a thing to joke about... i see sooo much of myself in abi meaning i see her as autistic and that's just. you know how much being autistic hinders those sort of abilities? i obviously can't say for sure but, seeing how abi later talks about people wantingher to interact w/ others better? hence why she went to summer camp in the first place? i'd say that probably isn't too outrageous to think...

and sort of continuing off that same topic, when abi is having trouble choosing someone for truth or dare, how emma is just like. "ding ding ding, my turn!" LIKE. AS HER FRIEND. WHO PROBABLY KNOWS ABOUT HOW MUCH ABI STRUGGLES SOCIALLY. DON'T YOU THINK SHE'D BE LIKE? "OHH ABI JUST PICKK ME" INSTEAD OF HUMILIATING HER? LIKE. BC THERES SOOO MANY DIFF WAYS OF MOVING ON AND HELPING ABI OUT....... GOING ABOUT IT THW WAY EMMA DID ISN'T THE WAY TO GO......... ESPECIALLY KNNOWING HOW SOCIALLY ANXIOUS ABI IS.... anyway. while we're on the campfire scene, it's so fucked why she chooses to kiss nick lmao like ok yeah it may work in the end (potentially) but its still ?????????????? girl you know how much abi likes nick (SUPPOSEDLY) why go about this shit in the most destructive way possible? and what makes me even MORe mad is that. they dont even ever address this scene ever again???? despite it being such a huge and humiliating and probably traumatizing moment for abi??????????? YES they're able to have a more in depth andf heart to heart conversation about their relationship. but its not fucking enough! bc that fucking stupid ass dare and its outcome was the catalyst for the rest of the night's events lmao! imagine beign brushed aside and seen as a social fucking experiment for your entire life. which is something im SURE abi has felt and experienced. and emma, her best friend, LITERALLY CONTRIBUTES TO THAT!!!!!! ITS SO FUCKED AND IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY. i could probably go on about this topic but ill leabe it for a separate post i guess anyway if i were abi id be fucking pissed off and upset

her character means so very much to be like her whole people pleaser and "curate myself to each individual person ive ever met to keep them fromn leaving me" resonates so so much with me and i love it so much. ive talked about this b4 in a previous post but i can only imagine how lonely she feels, acting the way she acts. no one will ever truly know who she is. shes in a constant state of performance. every single person she's ever met has a different perception of her in their head. and, in one way or another, it's all wrong!!!! i love you emma mountebank i love you abigail blyg

//

kaitlyn: i wont even lie i instantly fell in love w her after hearing the INSANE shit she says fnsjfjsnf esp felt it after the “jacob go upstairs. jacob get bag. kaitlyn moves on with her goddamn life” fell in love fr. and her whole stupid monologue after jacob was like "yeah i mean, what did i expect would happen?" SHES LITERALLY INSANE. but. like. i was not and still Am not happy w how she treated abi during the campfire scene though. due to 1. her telling abi to basically hurry the fuck up despite seeing how much she was GENUINELY struggling, and also potentially knowing about her social struggles prior. bc they're friends. right? and 2. just coming up wiht the dare in general lol it was such a fucked up thing to do and as ive said w/ emma, the fact theyre unable to actually jhave a convo abt it later is suuuuper dumb and shitty imo. esp seeing just how upset abi got, and the most fucked up thing is, neither kaitlyn NOR emma seem to show any remorse for it!!!!! that's just so fucked up

anywho. hate how both of their asian girls (emily in until dawn) are characterized as bossy and very. my way or the highway. it’s actually real fucked up in that light. fuck you supermassive. y’all are lucky that these 2 characters are their respective games’ baddest bitches . i SUPPOSE it isn’t THAT as big of a deal in this game bc. there are like. objectively more unlikable characters (in the guys AND girls) so kaitlyn doesn’t stand out as much (as emily did. she was practically written to be hated. bc NO ONE ELSE was as strong personality wise as her. i suppose jess comes close but 1. i think ppl shit on her for other stupid shit anyway SO and 2. she effs off for more than half the game) but it still doesn’t make it ok lmao. bc it’s a trend that is very :/ mmmmmmm. even if it’s not that much of a cliche stereotype for asian women, seeing them write both of their asian girls ALMOST THE EXACT SAME WAY is a bit sussy goddamn baka. went off a bit there lmao. anyway. i’m a weak pussy bitch and after she softened after abi returned freaked out i 😭 i love you. more positive (and NON GUY related) interactions between the girlies please. i literally love her relationship w/ abi so much it's so interesting to me.

and just... to talk about her character real quick, i mmentioned in my tier list that her character frustrates me. and you wanna know why? ive talked abt this b4 but her character is basically a watered down emily davis. and i say this bc. they both overall are the same archetype. except. in kaitlyn's case. there's really no reason for me to like ???? feel bad for her? djjfggkj LIKE. THERE'S LITTLE TO NO SUBSTANCE TO HER CHARACTER.... AND THERE CERTAINLY ISNT MUCH TO FEEL SYMPATHETIC FOR..... i say this bc. almost all the other TQ characters have this moment of ): aw, here's why i should care about and feel bad for you. BUT KAITLYN????? NEVER REALLY OUTRIGHT HAS THAT MOMENT,..... it's almsot like they threw her in there and threw in her characteristics last second.... nothing's really established w/ her. you just. you just keeo finding new stuff about her as the game goes on. like. oh. shes a good shot. oh. she cares about abi. and shit like that. im probably explaining this so terribly rn but hopefully some sense can be made from this scramble. it's just.... thye toook away the interesting aspect(s) of emily'scharacter (her anxiety, her fear of death, her complex to be protected while being fully capable of protecting herslef in times of danger etc etc) and thus gave us kaitlyn. to me she just. she isnt that interesting character wise! there isnt much there for me to grow attached to! people only like her bc shes associated w/ dylan! like shes one of those characters where you sort of HAVE to mold and shape into something that's familiar and Good

re reading htis it really sounds like i don't like her fdjkdg BUT I DO I PROMISE.... i gotta stick w/ my asian girls

//

abi but for real: 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 do i even need to say anything? its like supermassive made a character purposely JessCore or something like that. i like. haven’t gone In Depth abt why i got so fucked up over what everyone else did to her during the camp fire scene but. know that it hit a little toooooo fucking close to home. like. I Could See Me Sitting There In Abi’s Spot and it HUUUUUUURT!!!!!!!!!!!! like ): seeing her avert her gaze and how she was fumbling over her words i ))): LIKE. AUGHH. esp after being asked THAT question? since not sleeping w/ anyone by this age is seen as “abnormal”? i could feel that so bad man ): no one deserves to be singled out like that. esp not a VERY much autistic girl who is pretty clear to be on the “outside” of the group. bc she’s not “normal” or not “like everyone else here” and it’s just. fuck you all fr choke. enough of that. i just. she’s so fucking cute too? like girl i love you so MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! her lil like. expressive noises and shit are so awesome and make me happy fnsjfjsf you only see them like twice BUT. you don’t really see that from the other characters. so basically: stims. autism. yeah. they rly made abi a little TOO realistic nd relatable fnsjfnnsf but ohhhh man do i love her oh so much. after the camp fire scene i was just. she’s my friend now fuck all of you

//

laura but for real: I MISSED HER AND MAX SOOOOO BAD WHILE PLAYING THROUGH CHAPTERS 1 - 6 SKLDDFJDF i was literally so upset and sad seeing that they werent at camp after the prologue. du eto like literallty all of the characters getting on my nerves I WANTED THEM TO COME HOME SOOOO BAD.... AFTER THE CAMP FIRE SCENE EVERYTHING WENT DOWNHILL AND I MIIISSSEED THEM SOO MUCH i needed them back for real. other than that though, i dont have much to say about laura. i mean of course she's my BELOVED i mean look at my user but. yeah! i think about her often and project some anger shit onto her<3 specifically towards travis for specific and personal reasons<3 even if it's not like character stuff or w/e i think about, i often just rotate herin my mind. i love her so much. plus she's literally a combo of emily and sam aka my 2 fave UD characters how could i not love her?

//

max but for real: i honestly dont have much to say abt him? and i suppose he and laura arent /technically/ a part of the other counselors since they never, yk, showed up. but w/e fdfjgndg i think he's neat. i honestly thought he was like one of the only Good Guys of the game when first playing through,. and that still holds true! i still see ryan as a great guy too though. max just seems like such a good partner and guy in general and i love him. don't necessarily think about him much but as i said before, he's my bf (real)

[convxction]

ooc. because of replaying and rewatching abyss made me think of .. if plegia got the whole we gonna 'make our god' sort of thing since valentia's days (looking at you asshole forneus) they def made the whole 'copies/ replicas' and that sort of. hold my chaotic brain. it is cooking weird stuff.

but think about actual avatar copies in the castle, maybe mindless puppets no soul because we know our avatar homie got the soul and gwima pew pew, maybe some turned to risens, maybe idk here and there but like they are unrecognizable due to their lets say degrading and stuff (you wouldnt tell it is avatar because of how they look whoops.) maybe the grimleal were like uh oh. we are about to go down so we should erase them (aka feed them to gwima oopssyyy.)

but another thought was like we didnt get confirmation that the ylissean army got the papa krumb back right? so .......COULD THEY HAVE HIS BODY AND LIKE EWIUEHEUEUEHEU LETS MAKE A COPY SO WE CAN USE HIS BRAND TOO AND LIKE MAKE A SUPER PUPPET SOLDIER TO COUNTER THE NAGA WORHSIPNAPERS. hold my hand im still thinking about that jerk who tricked cynthia. IMAGINE THAT JERK WAS A KRUMB COPY? OR HIS FATHER BUT LIKE ...rouge. he escaped and was like u know imma do my thing XD i know that part was supposed to be a joke for cynthia's story but come on they should've made the guy at least ...look like krumbino. he does not look anything like him and it hurts cynthia's character i and wont stand without doing anything! my girl is ....good. questionable brain cells but she is good. at least it wouldn't make sense she falls for someone like that. like come on she could ask to his brand. no one can fake that brand my dude even as a tattoo. i feel like no tattoo could compare to the real brand. i feel like i got distracted. back to what i was thinking. or i think i was thinking. the brain is not braining my dude.

it would be cool to have avatar replica, whether got a soul and personality of its own, or not. avatar could come to the 'oh. that could be me. im lucky. i should value this life i have now. HENCE WHY I SHOULD YEET MYSELF TO GRIMA WEEEE'

maybe krumb replica! as i hc that he do look like his father the expectation is his father got somewhat baby face and he is the luigi death stare at you. lmao.

me throwing the EYEHUEUEHE EMMERYN BUT THAT SPOT PASS IS JUST .............never mind.

i never stop thinking about the deadlords and how they are krumb and his crew (l.ucina said it and i take her words for it.) i wonder if it is grima's attempt in that fallen world to make them risens but then like with his death or idk the whole parallel world thingy they regained some ....idk 'will'? regret of their passing away without fulfilling their goal--offing da lizard.

basically im a ho who gets obsessed with one idea and runs with it and now i want to inflict pain and suffering on krumb because who ese would i do that to, huh? it is his fault for being the easy to go muse in my brain. your fault blue man. i want a krumb replica. and no, isaac not you. stay safe my homie. stay safe or lucina and hope will murderize me.

gah. like do you know how twisted things can get? the guy just waltz and probably trick some people and some of the crew and just eyo that is a fake guy over there. faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakerrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

and kurmb like: huh ? ? ? ? cynthia: *triggered* sumia and cordelia: le shock frederick: on the case to figure out who is his lord so he set the other on fire lissa: *one thought: two chroms? heck yeah more to prank--wait this is serious oh no~ she can sniff the replica with ease watch her* avatar: *traumatized*

listen if anyone can tell the replica from the real is rebecca XDD his wife just take a look at the two of them: mmm yeah thats not my man. i can shoot him right? and chrom in a corner falling for her again: wow... but how? ALL REBECCA GOTTA DO IS CALL CHROM 'DADDY' and ofc we know krumb went to UGE and he knows what does 'daddy' mean and he just cringe like he never cringed before. probably covering his ears like NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH STAAAAAAAAAAAHP THATS UUUGGHHHHH!!!!

i feel like i never once make a sense when i write these my brain tells me posts lmao. anyway. replicas. excuse me to bother ppl with this then. hmu if you want a copy.

battle of the century. krumb vs no brand krumb vs replica krumb vs rkc ....eheeheighgeheguegheugehgehgeugehgegegeigehge bye.

[leossmoonn]

ok but imagine stefan as a single dad to twins and you were there mother but something supernatural kills you, and then stefan takes care of your children 🥺

thats so— thanks for making me SAD ANON

nah jk i love this concept

the first few months without you and with just the twins are hard. caroline had to help him a lot with taking care of the twins. (we’ll name ‘em scarlett and sawyer)

stefan was in a deep depression for about a year. you were the love of his life, after all. it wasnt only caroline who helped out, but she volunteered the most out of everybody. it helps that her and (someone from your family side) are the kid’s god parents.

stefan gradually grew out of the depression, finally going to therapy and gaining control of his life. he started to be more involved with his kids, which he felt bad that he had missed like a whole year of their lives, but ever since he got back on his feet, he’s always tried to make up for it. (and hes def done more than enough)

i just imagine the kids asking about you when theyre a little older - like 6 yrs old - and stefan sits them down right before bed and tells them stories about you. like your guys’s first date, how cool and badass you were fighting off supernatural being. how amazing and caring you were. how good of a friend you were. how much he loves you. and he tells scarlett and sawyer bad things about you too, like your flaws and he’s honest bc he wants them to know that you weren’t this perfect person, and that was okay.

he keeps pictures of you and him on his desk, and he hung up every picture of you and the kids that he has. (lets say you died when the kids were like, 2).

he also wears the jacket you gave him everyday. once scarlett is old enough to like start actually caring about jewelry, he gives her your necklace. and with sawyer, he gives him your artwork (lets say you were a very talented painter and musician) and sawyer hangs your work all over his room. sawyer also developed your musical talent and he plays the songs you wrote, honoring you.

stefan turns out to be an amazing father. its definitely not easy, especially when the kids go through their teenage years, but theyre a close-knit family.

and you’re watching from above (like on the other side lol) with lexi everything stefan’s doing. and you’re so so so proud of him and your kids. and stefan definitely knows you’re watching over him :)

oh and stefan definitely like falls in love again and guess who it is? caroline! lol. but the kids already see her as a mother figure and stefan never really had feeling for her until she started helping out and it just developed over time. so they started dating when the kids were in high school (rough transition lol) and the kids were kind of rude to her bc they were loyal to their mom, but stefan sat them down and was like

“look, i’m not gonna say “your mom would want this and whatever” bc i dont know what she would want but, i do know that i have to move on. i love your mother, i’m always going to. no one can beat her, but i think it’s time for me to try and move on. find happiness again and c’mon, you guys love caroline. you two used to calm her mom when you were babies even. so please, respect my decision”

and sawyer agrees, and it takes scarlett a little while to come around but by the time of caroline and stefan’s wedding, she’s so happy for them and loves the two together.

and like i said, youre watching them and youre proud of stefan for moving on. ngl you were kinda hurt but like you knew this day would happen, lets be realistic lol. and you wouldnt have anyone else be stefan’s wife. you know caroline will take care of stefan :)

ahhhh this made me so soft wldkekwebfjr

stefan concepts masterlist

[ghostfruits]

hey can i ask a personal question for the members of ghostfruits; how do u guys personally deal with suicidal ideation and self harm? i notice that theres alot of mentions of death/depression/suicide/etc in your comics, and im a huge fan of you guys and im currently struggling with my own demons and thought I would ask. i hope this isnt too intrusive, feel free to ignore me.. - a suicidal, depressed fan.

i know we’re in public rn but i’m gonna just talk to u like a person, real quick. im going to talk to u like i would have if u were like in front of me

its like 2am and so im worried i might not be as lucid as i think. im sorry in advance if this is like, whole gibberish

im gonna speak for just myself, as the the person who is most often inserting specifically that kind of shit into our work, but definitely not like, the only person on this side like massively struggling with a similar variety of things

i dont know

a lot of people seem to be making work about problems they Used To have, and like ways they Used To feel, and like overcame, and then it becomes safe for them to make like, art about it. like the turmoil happens behind the scenes and then they like open up abt it publically after the fact via art. or at least like thats what im seeing happen, or like, ppl talk abt like "i made this bc it would have helped me figure my shit out sooner if someone had made s/t like this for me" and the like, probably dissappointing truth of it here is i'm bleeding in like real time. i dont have solutions to it. you and me are both in the immediate thick of the same kind of emotion. i didnt manage to puzzle it out. when i was 9 i started feeling like i wanted to kill myself and im 25 and ive wanted that, still, the entire time. i dont all the way know why its like that. sometimes i used to think it was like, a reaction to specific kinds of hardship or loss or dissatisfaction with my circumstances, but lately ive been worried that maybe good things or good times or good feelings are just like, distracting me from something that is my Actual desire, that being dead is the path im just like occassionally straying from. when i say that out loud i have a really easy time imagining a second person telling me that isnt a healthy thing to be saying or feeling, which usually means it isnt, but thats like, really how i am feeling, that is really where i am at with it. that probably means i dont have any business directing another persons like, outlook on it

so

while i cant tell you how to live with it, or cope with it, or manage it, bc im not doing any of those things, i can tell you really confidently that i dont think you should be dead, and you're being misdirected by either yourself or the world or like something else altogether into thinking thats the key that fits into whatevers in front of you. i know i dont know you, but i know like, a lot of people, and iv never felt like any of them should be dead. ive never met anybody who i thought itd be like fine if they died. theres people im hugely indifferent to, theres people i hate, there are people who have hurt me or others enormously and ive still never thought in earnest like "this persons best plan of attack i think is to kill themselves"not like anybody. not like anybody ever. iv said some fucking wild shit abt niggas but iv never said that, and i cant imagine ever saying it. or thinking it, or feeling it. i dont imagine youd be like an exception to that

thats easy to say, but, im not the person who has to live with it tho. thats easy to say to you but you still have to wake up tomorrow and live out whatever has got you so fucked up you're at like, a death point with it, and if youre coming here to ask abt it, youve probably exhausted a lot of other options already ill bet. and its like, probably wack as fuck to meet like another dead end here too. i dont know if youre still reading this even. i probably wouldnt be. iv had madd niggas hem and haw at me forever abt "temporary problems permanent solutions" and then just like shuffle me out of their office or living room or whatever and expect im not supposed to like pop myself on their doorstep. niggas acting like im fucking playing. like i got it out of my system bc we had one conversation and now im supposed to go eat lunch and be regular. idk. id be very mad at me, if i were you. i dont know if you are, but i wouldnt blame you for that. the reason i say all this is to articulate like;its possible that after hitting another roadblock here, youll feel like, "ok then fuck it" and like set your sights on just like, doing it. like bc i didnt have any jewels for u it would like reinforce it maybe. i would like u to consider this tho;

theres MADD niggas smarter than me. i was extremely useless to you just now. this is not like the pinnacle of help you're ever going to get. the answers you need for this exist even if youve already turned over a dozen rocks and theyve all been like, as useless, as this, tht has like absolutely no bearing on if the next rock will have useless shit under it. every single time u flip a coin it has the exact same chance of going one way or the other. this like did not have the medicine u need in it but the main thing i would want to stress to u is that it *does* exist and uve just had like a supremely shitty time finding it

somebodys got it. the only thing i can like confidently promise u is that somewhere, somebody, definitely knows the answer to this. u might be the person even. im not sure. /i/ def havent found it but like its in the mix somewhere. idk

i cant prove it to u but im positive ur not done yet, & you should stay

i didnt read back over any of this after i typed it, & so im gonna apologize again if it was just like, fullblown nonsense

[travellers-survivor-old-west]

Episode 1 - “It's not my fault our team chose the same song as the other team” - Cas

Let the games begin..............................

we out here. i'm on the cute yellow tribe. the only person on my tribe rn is Nicole and I already like her. i hope there's an idol hidden under joe del campo's cowboy hat

* A couple seconds later*

FKDSAHKDJFS LMAOOOO MY GIRLFRIEND ASHLEY ON THE OTHER TRIBE AND SHE LOOKIN LIKE A KARDASHIAN IN HER VID

Very excited for this to start! Tribe seems nice so far get a good vibe from eve and Ashley for sure. Just gotta feel everyone out a lil more and see how this first challenge goes

OKAY sooo I'll keep this first one brief. My tribe is pretty cool. I love Jared, I'm a little bit worried though because 1) he knows I'm a snake and will be scared of me and 2) he'll prob be able to know I'm friends with Ashley, but otherwise, he's my number 1 on this tribe and my favorite person in the cast other than ash. Like I'm so blessed to be with him and I don't think he'd turn on me yet since we'll be loyal. This Nicole girl seeemd cool in her vid then never messaged me back. Dylan seems nice but I think he might have been in bermuda or somethin LOL i've def played with him before and have no clue from what.... Sammy is cool, know him from before. And then uhhh that weird kid who had a three second vid, I hope he's out first. Ashley is on the red tribe I think? I LOVE HER she's literally my best ORG friend and she hasn't played in forever. Hope we get to a swap or merge without her doing something dumb first akhfdj. Patrick seems familiar I know he's old school and won HOS so that's cool. Eve seems cool never played with her but is that the same eve that does the challenge minis bc if so she knows im gonna pop off. Keaton good. Isaac good lol although I'm scared he'll come after me bc one time in his confessionals for a game we were in (i think indonesia?) eh talked about how big of a threat I was oops. maybe ashley will get him out for me LOL. and that austin guy seems cute, second game only awww. Black tribe has chloe YAYAYAY love her and excited to play with her. I think I'm on okay terms with Nick again, at least I really hope so lol bc bbclue was a mess but we kind of made up in ihos.... Vi/Cas I don't rlly know. payton seems like rhone but with a little more hair and less elderly wisdom. aidan's vid was weird but glad he got to the point I'm looking forward to this :) but I hope my tribe gets more active soon.

Okay so- Howdy! This is your cowboy speaking. I am going to go over my general strategy for the game and what I have done so far. I want to play a very physically/socially-centered meathead kind of game- a James Clement if you will. I want to try and win every challenge that I participate in and if we lose, I want to have 1 alliance with the strongest players that I will be 100% unwaveringly loyal to. Pretty basic stuff. So my alliance is with Owen and Sammy, which oddly enough- the last 2 Big Brother games I played, they were the people who got me out, respectively. Owen/Dana/Quill in BOTS and Sammy in Legacy3. So it's a risky group but this is the strategy that I outlined for myself so I'm gonna stick to it. They will be my F3 and I will literally ride with them until the wheels fall off. Until the hooves fall off, in western speak. I have no clue if they will be loyal to the end or try to target me on some point, but I have to try to keep them from eating the apple, because I'm not going to flip as my one-dimensional gameplan will not allow that! I confirmed with both of them that this is a trio they are good with, and the Pika-Dudes were born. I think it would be pretty rewarding for me if I could actually get them to stick together and make it to the end. But they could have other alliances on this tribe and vote me out this round for all I know, but so far my perspective is that they seem loyal Lastly, I suggested that we do the song "Before He Cheats" for the challenge, and that's the first time a tribe has ever taken my suggestion for the song, so I'm happy with that. I'll check back in if we lose the comp :)

okay so first confessional...honestly I am super excited to play with some of the people in this game. But I am just gonna talk about the challenge right now, umm so it's a music video which means.....hosts hate me...because I am always the one having to edit:,( okay so everyone got their videos to me finally except Nicole sent one vertically after I clearly said "@all plz film horizontally" so I just said bippity boppity bye. She seems sweet though and I don't want her to go anywhere soon. Anyways, Jared approached me with the idea of an alliance with me, him, and Owen which I'm totally fine with but I don't think I want to work with Jared like long game because idk if I can trust him to be like loyal to me. He is one of my fav people I just know it's a game. However I think if we go to tribal I probably would vote either Nicole or Xander. Not much confess right now except I am on a tribe with casper and his friends bc everyone forgot how to talk. alright that's it for nowwww.

#FuckMichael

What the fuck is Terlingua on someone better pray for my dude Aidan

VL: Oops

Omg yay!!!! We are safe for first tribal which I love. I'm starting to form pretty good bonds with issac,eve,and ashley so hopefully I can get it to where we all link up together for some kind of alliance.

Well so far it seems that Aidan, Chloe, Nick and I are in same mind set of voting off Payton. We shall see if it actually goes through. It’s really sad Bc the judges are all biased so now we have to vote someone out. Editing isn’t easy at all DX. I’m so sorry Payton if you’re do get voted out. You should move to the us to survive a bit longer ;-;

So my back’s been killing me all day. I thought it was from sleeping funny but clearly its from carrying this damn tribe.

This weekend was so flipping busy. I'm trying to get caught up at work before vacation and Matthew is here. I don't feel like I've gotten to bond with my tribe much. I'm glad to see Dylan A. We've not really gotten to play together much because he always gets voted out early in games we play but I don't think he will come for me and he's a bigger target than I. I like my tribe a lot. Jared is really funny and Sammy kicked butt in the challenge. I've talked to Owen a tad. I'm glad we didn't lose because I deserved to go home. I didn't get back from Erica's bday thing until 4 and then it wouldn't let me use the song I bought some it is copyrighted so I only had 30 sec then I couldn't get it to film horizontal. I'm a big ol mess. Yeeeeeeehaaaaaaw! 😂

Whew okay so I don't know anyone on my tribe (kinda) which is good but also a bit scary since its just 6 of us. Overall, I feel like everyone's a bit quiet and not too talkative. That being said, they might be talking a bunch in PMs. Right now, I am trying to stay under the radar and just be friendly with everyone. I really like Austin, Eve and Patrick right now. Keaton and Isaac are nice too but I dont really talk to them as much. If we would have lost this first immunity challenge I would have definitely wanted to vote for one of them. No official alliances yet but its still early so I think its okay. THANK FUCKING GOD WE WON. Okay well, we got 2nd but thats a win in my eyes. I just really hope I make it to jury and I will be happy so not being first boot is GREAT. Im trying to get this damn idol but I cant catch a fucking break and my ass keeps getting zapped... I dont think anyone has gotten the idol yet so I hope i get lucky and somehow get to it first. Here is how I see everyone as of right now: Austin: Probably my fave right now and hoping I can get into a f2 with him. He's funny and sweet and I feel like we get along and its pretty easy to talk to him. Eve: Eve is iconic! Want to work with her but I feel like she is really social so she might be a threat later on. Pat: Same as Eve, even though I just met him, I actually have known about him before since he is friends with some of my friends. I know he does good in games so he is someone I would like to see leave a bit sooner since I think he will be hard to get rid of later. But hes amazing and his video for the music video was ICONIC. I can see him and I becoming friends for sure. Keaton: Not much to say, I do know keaton from playing a game with him in the past but he was voted out first I think and then I hosted him in HOS but i wasnt super active in that one :) Anyway, I feel like we dont have much to talk about so I need to make more of an effort with him. I really wouldnt care to see him go tbh but who knows, this can definitely change if we start talking more. Isaac: omg okay so night one I go into everyones PMs to say hi and i notice that I already had messages with him which I found super weird because I didnt know who he was but I guess we kind of got into it like 3 years ago??? I told him I didnt remember this but i do. He was basically an asshole to me for no fucking reason. But this was 3 years ago so i really dont care so I hope he doesnt try to target me over it. He seems nice I guess but I havnt really talked to him much. In his defense he has been sick apparently but if we would have gone into this first TC I would have wanted to see him voted out first for sure.

Confessional 1: So right off the bat I talk a lot to everyone but Payton but my main issue is he’s probably not going so I’m gonna need to vote out someone I genuinely like right away. I think I’m decently connected and unless these guys are pulling off the best blindside ever I think I might possibly be semi safe??? Who knows though there’s a lot left of game to play this round so let’s let’s see who the votes will land on. I’m kinda trying to indirectly get my way but it’s like just not working out lol.

Its been a fun couple of days, im talking to my tribe and just feeling them out. Im very happy I don't have a history with any of them so I can just relax and start a clean state. Im a big fan of Jared and Sammy, but honestly nicole can go. She annoys me more than Jess's love of alcohol. I'm hoping to just chill and slide my way to merge where from there actually make moves and make my way to final 5 where we all know im gonna be voted out.

Idk what the fuck is going on lmao. I think I’m getting voted out because I haven’t talked to anyone but I’m trying to push the vote in cas instead but it might be too late because I just started talking to everyone cause I’ve been working too much.

https://youtu.be/bMY6mumIAQ0

Am I disappointed with my tribe? No. Am I disappointed with the outcome? Yes. I'm not a fan of these subjective challenges because the criteria literally changes everytime and all the judges (who are usually unqualified, uneducated and underemployed) seem to like to harp in on the most random shit like- I can't. And the fact that I, someone who never edited a fucking video before, had to do that shit just shows how useless my tribe is overall. Either useless or lazy but either way... I'm predicting a Matsing performance from this tribe. Why the fuck did I get placed here? So far people are fine but I don't /love/ anyone. Maybe I could put in more effort but like Chloe/Nick/Vi all seem fine and fun but like nobody I'm too connected with yet. I'm sure it'll come. Chloe and I seem to have the most similar personality but something tells me she's like connected idk. I don't see her going far with me. I see Nick/Vi being loyal though. Payton and Cas are like fine I guess but afaik they're the ones on the chopping block because of minimal socialization. I will be voting for Cas but honestly I don't care who goes home as long as it isn't me. I just want a tribe that isn't awful.

I like my tribe ok I guess. They’re all a girl or a gay except Keaton so that’s a plus. Despite my lack of participation in the first challenge due to my meningitis I’ve been assured that I should be safe on this tribe and I’ve been offered an alliance so we’ll see where that goes. I’m looking forward to beat sent home by Jared’s homophobic ass though. It’ll be fun

Dont sue me I'm dumb Okay this tribe is an interesting bunch, Ashley is great but scary, eve knows wtf is up, Pat and I are playing a game together rn, Issac... And Austin knows about me! Luckily we are safe but I think I can traverse this group without TOO much issue.

https://soundcloud.com/user-327042896/dylan-confess-1/s-HFs1s https://soundcloud.com/user-327042896/dylan-2/s-nVSd2 https://soundcloud.com/user-327042896/dylan-3/s-65KCP https://soundcloud.com/user-327042896/dylan-4/s-kLYio https://soundcloud.com/user-327042896/dylan-6/s-r6uNi

So like, love my tribe so far, I think Issac, myself Ashley and Austin are going to become a possible / close alliance, I also LOVE LOVE LOVE pat! What a fucking legend. Rly wanna try to work w him!! Idk dont wanna lose bc that means someone has to go :(

Dont sue me I'm dumb Okay this tribe is an interesting bunch, Ashley is great but scary, eve knows wtf is up, Pat and I are playing a game together rn, Issac... And Austin knows about me! Luckily we are safe but I think I can traverse this group without TOO much issue.

[plinys]

did you see agentverbivore 's meta on why fraida is sexual assault? can you comment on it?

so like, i wasn’t going to answer this. i was off enjoying my life, i saw cars 3 which is great i cant believe doc hudson is gay and lightening mcqueen is secretly fitz and if y’all think im not gonna write a cars fraida au you’re wrong

and i come home to this

lovely anon

i was really just going to be like ??? this isnt worth my time and just go write fraida fic and dont worry guys if youre here for baby au or beach house verse or kinky framework smut well i got you covered later today

but before that, we need to talk

this is long, and doesnt cover most the important bits

first off, apologies to my one (1) mutual that is a huge holden radcliffe fan, you should probably look away for part of this meta. because im gonna put some of the blame on him

a few points from that awful meta i skimmed that was again not valid because it was written by a fs stan and these people by default cannot stand any other character looking at fs (like my girl oph may be evil, but like will daniels was not !? but man were the fs stans ready to call him abusive and sexual assualt back then so, again as proof opinions of those extra gross fs stans are not valid)

now if you are a mildly reasonable fs fan or just a normal person that ships other things, please do not let the crazies convince you of some total bullshit 

hee’s some ground facts

my girl aida, now know as ophelia, is one of the main villains of the season. she’s evil af in the later half. im not here to deny that. she’s one of the seasons villains

you know who else are tho - holden radcliffe and leopold fitz

back in 4.01 my girl was created to be a digital assistant, programmed not to lie and not to kill and generally just like a good™ person. now that got fucked up and whose fault is that

well lets have some more facts:

holden gave her the programming that it was okay to kill if it was to fill an objective he set (this allowed her to kill him later and honestly that was his bad)

fitz taught her how to lie, and holden assured her that it was okay to do so

as mack, the only person with a logical fear of robots would tell us, this is a bad idea

and then we get the darkhold

man who, from the other side, convinced aida to read the book? 

who then later enabled her to keep reading and gain all the knowledge and use it to help him create the framework and expand it and make it better

but oh man thats another good point who designed the framework? 

holden radcliffe and leopold fitz

holden specifically was the one that wanted it to grow, that encouraged her to push the simulation, that had the plan to put may into it and give her a whole different life to keep her contained

holden was also the one to have them kidnap and replace the rest of the team

wait you mean? aida was just following orders? the whole time? oh yes, thats right guys. she was

until of course

the framework

now here’s where it gets messy because

the framework 

in the framework, the darkhold has no hold on you anymore

which means, holden gets to experience regret and becomes not the villain anymore go him 

though as mentioned before this, holden’s instructions were to fix regret so people would stay in the framework and not question the narrative or want to leave

which leaves us with

coulson not a shield agent

may saving the girl (both of which ive mentioned in previous metas is why hydra rose with no one to assemble the avengers and a fear of inhumans in the public it was easy)

fitz being raised with his father (who i personally hc as hydra in the real world too but thats just me)

mace being an inhuman

and mack having his daughter

now despite what poor sad jemma simmons, and the fs stan mouth piece that daisy got to be for a brief moment (i miss a well written daisy wow) will tell you,

not having a girl in your life does not suddenly make you a super villain

maybe its idk

the hydra father you were raised with 

in a demonstrated emotionally abusive house that says not to show emotions and weakness (much like john garrett did to grant ward)

a world in which there was a fear of inhumans and a push for hydra to rise

a natural inclination for ambition

now, idk if its just me but

aida didnt make fitz evil

she followed holden orders to fix his regret, 

if anything holden made him evil but really this anger and darkness has been inside of fitz all along and if you dont believe me rewatch season 2/3. watch that scene with ward when he cuts off the air, watch him with the gun and yelling at the space rock, watch him angrily pushing things onto the ground when frustrated

this kid has been two shakes from being a villain since season two

 now to the fraida bit

if you believe ophelia on the beach scene which i do, she’s human now, able to feel things, there’s no way this girl so new to emotions that she has a panic attack thinking about people being hurt, so new that she loses herself to heart break in what is honestly just bad writing but canon so i can use it as a point here

would lie without there being an obvious tell

she’s not lying. 

she wanted to feel loved and human

so she took jemma’s place at the academy

now when did fitzsimmons first hook up? when did they first kiss? how long did that take? 

aida, then calling herself ophelia, wanted to be jemma simmons and like i get that. you, the fs stans, should get that. i mean isnt that why you all write self insert fanfic while slapping the name jemma on the character and pretending its the same one we see in canon?

aidas just like you

maybe a little misguided, playing a fucked up sims game of the real world

in a sense they created an alternate universe

an earth 2

and now you’re here telling me a robot, who cannot canonically feel anything more than pain, was the one to initiate sex? no, that boy def initiated it. 

the horrible example of the meta involves someone being roofed and forced into sex, but thats not what happened. she wouldnt have been the one to touch him first, wouldn’t have been the one to initiate anything because she wanted to experience love and humanity and none of that is part of it

now iain confirmed the friada sex happened, canon later told us that it happened in 4.21 and again reminded us that she could feel nothing, which important take away here

now if you say

there’s consent issues, probably dub-con ill agree

but the framework version of him, this alternate universe man very much wanted every part of that

and honestly could you blame him?

so now i am going to sit here and write my fic set in the framework verse as if it was a full earth 2 and enjoy living it up in my alternate universe sin verse

im going to write my lets ignore everything after she saves mack fix it fics because i can do whatever i want

its fandom

and theres like 4 of us shipping fraida

block the tag if you dont want to see it 

dont come up in my inbox anymore and ask my opinions or for m to justify my ship ever again, im just going to start replying with the parks & rec gif of ron with her permit to do what he wants

ye be warned

[infnthoya]

When did you realize that hoya was your bias? What was your favorite comeback look of his? What do you like most about hoya?

this is gonna be loooooong :)

ok first of all, i’d like to thank you like a million times for sending this to me. i wasnt on tumblr whole day but i opened it a few times on my phone during the day. i had been seeing this ask sent to my mutuals and was wishing someone sent it to me too. and i wrote it under a read more which i thought no one would pay attention and i didnt even mention it was THIS ask and then YOU SENT IT! *showers you with hearts and chocolate cupcakes* i hope i can write it well enough becuz my english isnt that good and im also not good with expressing myself.

“Bias” thing is a complex term for me. i guess its becuz im pretty older than all those boys, i cant just pick one and call them “bias”. and i usually cant have 2 biases at once. i “joined” the kpop community in the beginning of ‘12 and over these 5 years, i called 3 idols as my bias. first was TOP, then came Yongguk and for a few months i biased both of them but eventually Yongguk claimed his place as my one and only and stayed like that for a very long time. then when Howon came, just like the previous time, both of them stayed for a few months but then Howon won over Yongguk. I wanted point that out to show that for an idol to “won” the title of being my bias (lmao) they must’ve be REALLY good! (and i take this sh*t way too more seriously than i should otl)

already 3rd paragraph and i havent even started answering your Qs omg! okay so like i said i was a hardcore YG stan. honestly, HW got me by his looks at first. not only becuz he was good looking but becuz he had this “manly” image you know? im more into that type. when i first saw him was during H’s Special Girl era and i was someone who hasnt listened to even 1 infinite song (shame on me!) i was seeing YaDong gifs all over my dash but everyone was going crazy over Dongwoo (i dont blame them :D) but i was thinking “why is there no love for Hoya? he is -imo- more good looking”. but i didnt pay too much attention to it. later i started watching Reply’97 due to a friend’s rec and HW’s good looks, combined with his amazing acting skills and the character he played, caused him to sneakily and slowly get into my heart and brain. he is the reason i started following Infinite and simply there wasnt anyone else to steal his place among OT7. and later, both by some stuff that YG was doing to cause me grow away from him and the stuff that HW was doing to win me over, the game came to an end. so it wasnt like “omg he looked so good in X era” or sth but i had already found too many things that i loved about him as time passed by and un-stanning YG just made everything official. i think its been around 2 years since he became my only bias.

My fave look(s) [sorry for cheating:)]; im normally a trash for up-styled hair so his Pretty era look was perfection. but, tho i wasnt a fan back then, im in love with his Be Mine era look and im praying for the day i can see him with a short hair like that (SY has it now and IT LOOKS AMAZING!!!) Plus, i love his fluffy light brown hair during Back era (that is a sad era for us Howon stans but for some reasons i love it too much as well) And lastly, i just cant ignore his cotton candy hair colors during Last Romeo era hehe^^;;

Ok this is the hardest but the best part. its 4am now and its been a veryyy long and tiring day so i hope i wont skip anything (i just couldnt leave this post to later i HAD TO do it now :D) 

Like i said his good looks was the reason he got my attention so i’ll start with it. i mean his eyebrows could slice my heart into pieces and his cute eyes make me go blind and his JAWLINE IS SHARPER THAN THE SHARPEST BLADE and i really love his lips (i dont like too big/plumpy lips) and his lips are just perfect for me and the way they shape when he cant contain his laugh like his lips get so wide you can see his gums its the most beautiful smile ever but HIS NOSEEEEE!!!! DUDE HIS NOSE!!!! ITS THE CUTEST NOSE I HAVE EVER SEEN AND I JUST WANNA PUT LITTLE PECKS ON HIS CUTE LITTLE NOSE ITS SO AŞDENEĞANAPROLUX!!!!

Another thing is how he is rather reserved. i mean he is surely much more open now, esp since Back era but still he likes being on his own, getting lost in things that he loves like dancing, making music or stuff like that and im like him too so idk its like a connection you know? 

He is strong. not only physically but also mentally. he has a strong determination. he has been thru too much to be at where he is now. starting from his family (here is a ref for those who dont know how hard it was for him) i think thats very brave of him to risk so much for an unclear future.

I LIVE FOR HIS LAME JOKES!!!! and i dont think they are lame (ok some of them are :D) but i think its a proven fact that was accepted by everyone that he is witty. and i love my man smart :D lol he even praised his fans for being witty in his last vlive saying sth like “fans are like their idols. im witty and you’re witty too” or sth like that lol he is adorable!!!!

Which leads me to another thing i love about him; his love and respect for fans! about 2 years ago he was given a letter by a fan (i think its better if y’all check it here if you havent already) i love the way he approached the issue. he is always so straightforward about things which is another thing i love about him but i think ever since that time, he has become more “active” at airports. i mean he couldve just ignored it. losing 1 fan wouldnt have mattered. or he couldve done that speech but still go on acting like that and tbh we couldnt blame him becuz he really doesnt have to do any fan service at the airports. but oh my god! the fanservice that i had the honor of witnessing with my own eyes from the first row at the airport in Berlin!!!! he was the only one to open the curtain and wave at us and did “i say ho you say ya” with us, he kept waving till the van disappeared from our sight and he def couldve chosen not to do that and we couldnt blame him but he chose to do it! also when he first did vlive, it was becuz he had to do it due to some official thing but he said if he knew it was so easy to do, he’d do it often and tbh i thought he said it just to say it you know? but he was sincere about it! he really does the most vlives and idk what more to say on this issue lol

His thought on his own chastity just multiplied by respect for him a million times!!! im keeping this short since its a private issue but its one of the top things i love the most about him!

Another thing i adore is his relationships with his friends. i mean everyone loves their friends but i think he is doing a little more than that. he always features his friends on his personal or group schedules whenever he has the chance so he introduces them to more and more people. in a way he is “presenting” them you know? i mean i dont think too many people knew about Hyojin before his Good Kissser stage (i for one didnt know) but now i dont think there is an Inspirit out there who doesnt know her and i think its too cute!

I love his fashion sense. you guys are probably thinking (i mean if you have come this far, bless you

I legit started this around 4am and now its 5am and i have to wake up early otl but i had so much fun writing this and realized once again how much i love him not only as a singer but as a person too. I hope i havent missed out anything lol There are also stuff like how talented he is (he does perfect jobs in so many fields), how hardworking he is, how he loves his members etc but i think they are the kind of things that anyone, even if they arent HW biased can agree on and i wanted this post to be more personal rather than stating the observable facts :) 

If anyone has read this till the end, im really sorry for wasting your time but i also hope i could cause you see Howon from different sides and somehow put a smile on your face. 

Have a great day/night everyone 💜✌

[lullmetolife]

Gay content

Alright it's been a while since ive posted here. But i just wanna update u (if there is) of the things that have been happening in my life. (I say things like it's a lot haha pero really classes are over and im taking a class ngayon sa diliman so 2 weeks vacation lang) I'd be writing about the experience some time. Maybe after the midyear classes itself? Idk, bit ill def write about it. Anw, what i really want to talk about now is my sexuality. Ive just watched Alex Strangelove and i have to say it really got me to thinking about my sexuality. I know ive already come out to my parents as bisexual. Heck i even came out to my peers in Pampanga as pansexual. Pero the thing, i dont think any of it was true. At the time i was acknowledging that i was not straight, i believed i was thinking "which part of the spectrum should i choose, yung hindi ganoon katindi yung criticism, yung hate, yung judgment?" And so i picked bisexuality and later on pansexuality. I dont know if i was ever that. When was the last time i got attracted to girls? By attracted, i mean... Heck i dont even know how to define attraction. Why dont we start with SOGIE? Sexually, i like guys. I get hard at guys. I jack off to guys. I dont think ive ever get a hard on with a girl? Pussies and boobs disgust me. You know some other time, saying these words would bother me. Hindi ko ko man sabihing "nah you're just going through a phase" (those words mean nothing to me), ang paraan ko para depensahan yung sarili ko from the judgment im inflicting on myself is by telling myself na there will probably a time when id meet the right girl. That someday id get sexually attracted to someone, the right girl. Im close to being 21, and i must say ang tagal nya. But ill have to be honest eh. Maaaring kaya hindi sya darating is because im repulsed by the idea. That it's just really the way i am. And to think na hinihintay ko yung "tamang panahon" is foolish. SO FOOLISH. This is prolly the reason why when im with girls, subconsciously i am thinking of "the possibility". Idk if thats it pero it seems like i cant forge a meaningful relationship with a girl kasi im thinking, "is she the one?" And then id be repulsed and anxious. BECAUSE MY NATURE TELLS ME YOURE NOT IT. It's hard to explain this in words, the feeling i mean. Pero siguro if i acknowledge another sexuality, it wouldnt be so hard anymore. So yea, i think i might be gay. Weirdly, im not feeling so surprised now? Im not as emotional writing this compared to when i wrote the coming out letter to my parents back in 12th grade. Maybe because ive known all along? Maybe because ive gotten strong, emotionally? Maybe because im surrounded with people i know supports me despite it? Sexual orientation= homosexual Gender identity. This is where it gets slippery. Above, honesty is all one need to recognize it (though it might be hard for first timers). Ive always thought of myself as queer (well at least since first year college). Sabi kasi don sa SOGIE talk, when youre not sure or confused maybe youre queer. And it's bound to be like that, to be an umbrella term. And honestly, i still dont know. Maybe im queer. Gender expression. This ones easy. I dress like a straight guy. I talk like a guy (tho I have a natural malamyang voice. I once got mistaken for a woman when i was a kid, when i was talking to a guy over phone.) Oh dear god a memory just emerged. I remember mom giving me the phone, telling me joseph (is it joseph??) is calling. She was very supportive, come to think of it. Anyways, that memory accompanies Taylor Swift's Love Story. Anw, i look like a guy at first look. Well im a guy naman talaga pero i look like a straight one. Pero some things give away. Like the kalamyaan sa pagkilos. Anyways, idk if im gay or just confused or queer. Pero one things for sure, the things i wrote above is as honest as i can get. Am i gay?