#and the ending is always so damn amazing and moving and honestly its the song i want to end to. its holding a special place in my heart i

[jumbaliathan]

EVERYONE SHHH ITS COMING THE DRUMS THEIR KICKING IN ITS BUILDING AND BUILDING oh no i'm GONNA LOSE IT QUICKLY EVERYONE THEIR KICKING IN

[polycharismas]

my monthly alien stage rewatch findings. or rambles. Yeah rambles. i didnt say anything about Black Sorrow or Cure because those are like the most analyzed videos of all time and im tired Sigh

My Clematis: It still amazes me how much of an effect this one still has on me after all the time that has passed and after all the things that have happened in Alien Stage by now. It truly represents every single thing that makes Alien Stage such a special story. I think watching it again after all that went on in the story just elevates it so much more. This time around what did it for me was the monologue because you can easily apply it to every other character in this and it just Fits so well. Because truly what else do these children have aside from one another? Who else are they supposed to believe in? Where else are they supposed to find a God that can keep them moving forward in a world as cruel as this? All of them have someone, the nature of their admiration and the way they express it varies so much between all of them, but it still follows the same principle after all. The whole mv just put it in such a beautiful way it honestly holds up as its own story but knowing there was way more to these two girls and this whole world makes it so much better. I love yuri

ALIEN STAGE: UUugggGGahsgagahHahwnajwjdj Sorry. Okay. This is like the actual real trailer for this thang and its also so perfect. It foreshadows everyone's role surprisingly well. I think the fact Sua is the one singing also makes it better somehow because it just makes sense. She's the one that indirectly triggered a lot of what happens in Alien Stage in the first place she's the most important for our protagonist she's related with the rest of the cast in many different ways and to this day we still know next to nothing about her and yet she's the one singing the song that can be considered a true introduction to this whole world and that's Fascinating to me. I just feel nostalgic about this one also even if it really hasn't been that long since it was released. General banger and also it looks pretty as hell it makes me ill. Waugh

Unknown (Till the end...): OKAY I REALIZED THIS WAS PROBABLY THE ONE WHERE MY OPINIONS WOULD CHANGE THE MOST i have recently taken quite a liking to thinking about Till since a Twitter thread changed my whole perception about him and Oh Boy Did It All Change. It kind of really fucks me up. Till's relationship with Mizi i mean. It's stated he's one of the most brilliant in Anakt Garden. Not only is he skilled at both singing and playing an instrument he's also a pretty damn good composer. It's really something when you realize Mizi was the one who gave him both the determination and the inspiration to achieve all of this. The song he performed was the fastest selling album and he made it to Top 2 despite the fact the aliens are just not fond of him at all to put lightly. And he only achieved all of this because Mizi decided to show him a kindness she has always been familiar with but also a kindness he never experienced once in his life. Till has suffered a lot. Struggling to find an alien that would actually want to adopt him, being experimented on by the aliens and probably way Wayyyyy more, but it only took a single person to show him kindness for him to be able to keep on living. The nature of his feelings can be easily interpreted as romantic but it honestly resembles more that of a painter and his muse to me. So how do you think he felt when he saw his muse experience for the very first time the unkind world they lived in? He couldn't even glance at her during his performance because seeing his idol in such a state was painful. That still didn't stop him from wanting to speak his heart out through a song specifically made for her to hear. I sure hope nothing bad happens to this determined and energetic little guy!

Ruler of My Heart: Hi. This time around i thought really hard about how naturally Luka could hit all of Mizi's weak points through his performance. It's like a skill he learned throughout the years which is a really disturbing idea for me because we all know the state of his mind but what else could this be than giving the aliens exactly what they want from hosting this competition through all these years? Luka's parallels with Hyuna in the way they went about their roles in this world always fascinated me greatly because on one hand we have a total rebel who didn't hesitate to escape and do what She thinks is correct and on the other we have the Perfect contestant for Alien Stage. A title that sounds prestigious but can be also terrifying if we look at it from a human perspective. Someone so capable of twisting people's minds for the sake of entertainment and someone just detached enough to not hesitate at the truly awful implications of being a part of this competition and still participate with everything he's got. We don't know what exactly is the reason he did all of this and we also don't know much about. Anything that goes through his mind. So what the hell am i even talking about honestly. I want him so badly its painful i can fix him❤️

TOP 3: guys Guys Guys Guys Guys Guys Guys. Here it is. Famously known video i never shut the fuck up about. I think dropping this not before Alien Stage started but in the middle of it was genius because now we know exactly what the nature of this world truly is. I will never shut the fuck up about how absolutely amazing this video specifically is. The shift between the perspective of Alien Stage the aliens have to the perspective the humans themselves have is so fucking well done it makes me insane everytime. What could Alien Stage be to beings incapable of feelings? Just the perfect source of entertainment and money they could ask for. Its nothing more than that. But to the humans themselves its absolutely everything. Where they could win everything or lose it all. In this world humans have no other option than to trust their abilities to have even the slightest chance of being given the right to live freely. Where the cost of losing is your life. But also where the cost of winning is your own humanity. This video represents all of that in such a perfect way and it makes me ill in the head. GHhagzgHagGagagagav im normal

MIZISUA: Having a dedicated video for the most important relationship in the whole series is actually such a brain move. You can always feel the love these two have for each other every time they are together but the way you can feel it here just hits. Not a single word is spoken and yet you can feel everything they felt for each other in just that peaceful moment they shared when they were being sent to Anakt Garden. And the way you can also feel the pain Sua's absence has on Mizi in the span of so little time. You can feel absolutely everything with just that final scene alone. You can also see how opposite they were to each other and yet how well they fit together despite that. Seeing Sua like this makes me feel ill because i know already how much Mizi's everything changed her completely. To be loved is to be changed indeed. This video says everything you need to know about their feelings for each other and im DIGGING IT man. I miss them so much it hurts

All-in: HEH. HEY. HI HYUNA. This is like the perfect way to introduce her. We already know Hyuna somehow managed to break into the competition itself to save Mizi and this video just enhances more the way we see her by showing us how strong she is both as leader of the resistance and as a person. Hyuna is by far the most mature of the cast and this video shows it in such a perfect way. Someone like her is exactly what Mizi needed to finally break away from the pain Alien Stage caused her and to search for a path of her own in the freedom she now has. I love how easy going and fun the whole song feels because its no longer a performance for the aliens its a performance for the humans. Its no longer a song trapped beneath all that surrounds Alien Stage. Its a song made for the people that are free from the aliens that's meant to inspire them to keep moving forward and to not stop fighting for the future where the humans hold freedom. All of this also makes the fact that Luka is such a huge trigger for her elevate both of their characters greatly and also just make the whole conflict between them more interesting. What exactly was it that made Hyuna despise this man to the point thinking about him makes her sick? What exactly goes through Luka's mind when it comes to Hyuna specifically? They make me insane in the head i think the day we get more Hyuluka lore is the day i officially pass away forever. Godbless

[dany36]

now that i've S-ranked every stage in the DLC and also completed the map, just have some final junk thoughts from the sonic frontiers dlc (plus me raving some more about the music) before i move on to another game :)

i know i mentioned that playing as amy is the best out of the new playable characters, and i still stand by that opinion, but MAN is tails' MAX rings cyclone flying ability fun as FUCK. like, i kind of have a hate-love relationship with it. on one hand, who the hell doesn't like flying around the island at max speed? like, oh, there's something all the way over there, let me just ZOOM right over in a few seconds!! AND the fact that you can control its height unlike knuckles' flying is just insanely cool. on the OTHER hand though, yes it cheapens tails' flying ability because honestly once you get the cyclone ability, you don't even have to do any of the set-paths that the game wants you to follow to get to the map kocos or skill kocos. you can just fly up to them and boom, didn't have to do the set path. which is kind of sad because those can be really fun and satisfying to complete, so what i'd end up doing was get to the area where the map koco would be, and instead of just flying up to it, try to follow the path and get the map that way to not just suck the fun out of the entire thing

but also, that one M-puzzle where it lit up 3 or 4 red beams of light all across the island and you had to reach all of them under a time limit??? MAN i think that was my favorite puzzle of all!!! i first bumped into that one when i was playing with amy, and at first i thought i was gonna have to come back to it with sonic since i didn't think i'd get another character that would be as fast as him (also didn't have the spin dash ability yet since this was early in the game). but holy shit once i unlocked that ability and saw just how fucking fast you could fly around the island (skells from xenoblade x my beloved), i immediately went back to that puzzle and just completed it as tails. just so damn awesome!!

and SPEAKING OF the spin dash....wow. amy, knuckles, and tails may not be as fast as sonic, but they become just as fast as him with this skill. and i can't believe i went through the entire main game without using the spin dash more often. spin dashing around the island and abusing the hell of its physics was just something that never got old, even in the sonic stages. i don't think i ever used the fast travel with the portals since i mean....spin dashing everywhere the island is just like a damn dream come true: it's always something i'd do in sonic adventures' mystic ruins but at a smaller scale, but this time? the ouranos island is fucking huge and gorgeous and then with that beautiful music playing in the background and just rolling around everywhere at high speeds AAAAAAAAAA this game is honestly just the perfect sonic game!!!!!

i think i already talked about this earlier but the new stages were super fun and actually challenging to S rank, unlike the main game. there were some i wasn't too fond of (like that one where sonic's speed as "gears"?? what was that lol) but overall they were a joy to replay over and over and try to bring my time down. i think my favorites were definitely 4-A (with the rocket boosters and beehive-looking things) and 4-B (the one with the hologram tails and the falling platforms).

the music. GOD how does sega keep doing this!!! every single new character theme is just so on fucking point, but i gotta say amy wins this one as well: there's something just so hauntingly beautiful about her theme that just honestly fits the overall mood of the game. but honestly, all just so good. i neeeeed to get my hands on the ost, especially since i'm late to the party and realized that now they have a GORGEOUS BEAUTIFUL AMAZING remixed version of the windy and ripply (emerald coast 2) song AKA a song so dear and beloved and nostalgic to my heart that just thinking about it makes me want to cry tears of joy. like, running around the islands with that music playing in the background is just so freeing and beautiful and exciting that just makes you feel glad that you get to experience a sonic game like this.

oh shit got sidetracked talking about this game's overall out-of-this-world soundtrack again um um um what else. i mean, i really don't know what else to say except frontiers just knocked it out of the park and surpassed my expectations in every single way possible. as i was playing the game and would just be exploring the island and completing puzzles/paths, i'd just keep saying to myself "this game is fucking amazing" every once in a while. sega just fucking nailed the 3d sonic formula and any doubt i had about an open-world sonic game was just thrown out the window: i couldn't stop thinking about this being a MUCH larger, more fun, and more gorgeous version of running around mystic ruins than i could have ever imagined, and it's exactly the type of exploration freedom that i had been itching for in a sonic game.

and it goes without saying that sega bringing back amy, tails, and knuckles as playable characters was just soooo fucking good and refreshing to see, and my god did they do them justice. last time they were all playable was, what...sonic adventure?? really?? like, holy crap. sonic frontiers really was a love letter to 3d sonic games and ughhhh i just can't stop saying good things about it. EVERYONE NEEDS TO PLAY THIS GAME!!!

anyway!!! can't wait to see where the sonic 3d series is headed after this, but for now, time to wait for sonic superstars (holy shit that's soon!!!) since that looks fun as hell too, and that's me saying it as someone who prefers 3d sonic vs 2d sonic!

[aviel-the-trans-bucket]

So for today’s nostalgic walk down emo lane I’ll be listening to The Black Parade, and these are my thoughts

An album I’ve listened to repeatedly but there’s some songs and demos that weren’t on the American cd. So the ones that will be added to the listen are Heaven help Us, My Way Home Is Through You, Kill All Your Friends, Party At The End Of The World, Not That Kind Of Girl, Emily, and All The Angels. Let’s see what there is to see. Let’s begin this rock opera journey.

The End: an amazing intro to this beautifully morbid journey we’re about to embark upon. This has to be listened to back to back with dead every time I listen. They flow into eachother too perfectly for me not to. If it ranks top 5 then it will be in tandem with dead!.

Dead!: shit rocks HARD! I love these 2 back to back so much. I love it’s groove, I love its rhythm. It’s one of my all time favorites the guitar is fucking incredible as always. “If life ain’t just a joke, then why are we laughing” fucks impossibly hard.

This Is How I Disappear: I don’t really listen to this one that much. With fresh ears the intro is honestly pretty good. Oh shit I forgot how much I actually liked this one. This one does really fuck. Not one of my all time favorites but definitely one I should weave into my listening more.

The Sharpest Lives: ok this one I think might be one of my least favorite of the album. The guitar fucks hard but in general I don’t think this one if for me. Like it fucks incredibly hard but just sorta eh about it. I do listen to it mashed up with take over the break’s over all the fucking time tho

Welcome To The Black Parade: Ok here we go, an anthem for a generation. One of the most iconic intros in modern music. A slow and beautiful build and in come the drums. There’s the guitar! And it Fucks HARD!!! You already know she’s my number one spot on the album, how can she not be. Paint it black and take it back, let’s shout it loud and clear! defiant to the end we hear the caaaaaall! Let it rock your shit let it obliterate your fucking face! Also the most iconic music video of their career to date, we’ll see if they make anything that can blow it out of the water in the future.

I Don’t Love You: beautiful opening, and honestly one of my favorite arrangements when I’m in my feelings. It’s a situational song for me but I do love her. Guitar pops off, In general a very beautiful song.

House Of Wolves: there she is! The song I vibe with the hardest! My number 2! She Fucks Unbelievably HARD! Headbanging to this banger! It’s jazzy it’s one of my favorites I adore her! Guitar goes incredibly hard, this song consistently rocks my fucking shit!

Cancer: so I don’t listen to this much, almost never. It’s a sorrowful but beautiful melody. She hurts like a motherfucker but god it’s so beautiful.

Mama: ah yes a classic and a banger. A very unique vibe and one that goes insanely hard. Vibes vibes vibes 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈. Then it punches you in the fucking face! God the end section is so fucking good too, goes so hard.

Sleep: Spooky time. The recordings spoopy but god if the guitar doesn’t go so god damn hard. It’s one of my favorites for sure but I don’t wanna go dishing out too many rankings, still have 7 songs I haven’t heard yet. The quiet “wake up” screaming in the back is haunting once you hear it.

Tennagers: honestly both a vibe and not particularly one of my favorite songs on the album. But the guitar does fuck really hard here. I’m neutral about it, it’s good but no particularly strong feelings regarding it. Don’t fear the reaper, needs more cowbell.

Disenchanted: ok this is absolutely one of my favorite songs. She’s definitely a in my feelings song along side the world is ugly. It goes fucking hard, it’s raw, it’s beautiful and I love it so much. I don’t have much to say on it but I do love it so so much.

Famous Last Words: defiance to the end, we fight back even if in all honesty we are terrified of moving forward. Also it fucks severely, guitar goes so fucking hard. About halfway through the list I honestly stopped trying to form sentences for the breakdown and I’m just vibing with the music.

Blood: I don’t listen to this one at all so I’ve kinda forgotten it 😬. Jaunty, a vibe lol.

Kill All Your Friends: this one is a new listen, let’s see what we got. Oh this is kinda a vibe. Oh shit wait this does kinda fuck. Oh shit fuck yea! I like this one it vibes good. I think this banger might be a new favorite.

Heaven Help Us: new song 2 let’s go! Oh she’s a vibe. The vibe fucks hard, it’s got a good sound. It’s nice. I like, not love but like.

My Way Home Is Through You: ok new listen number 3. Opening slaps. Big American idiot vibes. It rocks, another it’s good and I like it but it didn’t knock the shit out of me. It goes without saying but the guitar has ate this whole album.

Party At The End Of The World: first live demo time. Oh this fucks. It’s like a combination of all the parts of previous albums. It vibes hard. I like :3.

Not That Kind Of Girl: live demo 2, let’s go! Nice beat. Oh damn this does fuck. Also vibes 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️? Good for them.

Emily: ok another new listen. Oh this is kinda nice. Guitar is nice as always. Is a nice vibe maybe not a favorite song but I might listen again sometimes

All The Angels: ok last new listen of the night. Oh this is kinda a moody vibe. This one is kinda nice. I like this one, broody.

So after a more recent listen it’s still one of my favorite albums of all time besides maybe midnight thoughts by set it off. I didn’t dive to deep into the story of the concept album because we’ve all heard it to death, and wanted to focus on my enjoyment of just the music. My top 5 of the album would have to be…

1:Welcome To The Black Parade

2:House Of Wolves

3:The End/Dead!

4:Disenchanted

5:Kill All Your Friends

So that’s the album done, it was nice listening to it in its entirety again. Again as always if you have any songs I may miss because they aren’t on the main albums or eps pls send those to my inbox. I don’t wanna miss a thing. Up next is the one I’m most excited for dangerdays and the madgear and missle kid ep.

[dancing-to-architecture]

22 - LCD Soundsystem - Sound of Silver (2007)

Sound of Silver, more like "Sound of my Post-Collegiate Bummer Years".

This band rules. This album rules. Listen to it if you haven't yet. Thank me later.

It might be the best example of nü-disco, which isn't really a thing but it fucking SHOULD BE.

•Get Innocuous!-

This intro is forever, but it slaps so hard you barely notice it's been 2 ½ minutes when the singing finally comes in, and the fading-out singing is such a cool sound.

Normalize "it making you feel alive"!

•Time To Get Away-

Let the vocal acrobatics commence! For a guy who kinda talk-sings through most of the songs here, his ability to go from a low note to a high note is pretty amazing. Freddie Mercury-level octave leaping on display.

Otherwise, it's a funky-ass bop about breaking up.

•North American Scum-

As something of a North American scum myself, I love this song. Unfortunately, the last time i was given the aux at work... let's just say I was alone in my enjoyment.

"And for those of you who still think we're from England? We're not."

The chorus is simple but effective, and it WILL get stuck in your head.

•Someone Great-

Another long intro that i absolutely love. It just moves.

This song's instrumentation reminds me a lot of Oingo Boingo, in that everybody in the studio is doing something entirely different, and the whole thing really shouldn't work, but it does and it's beautiful.

This song's lyrics just (and likely will always) remind me of the last time i heard it: the day David Bowie died.

•All My Friends-

Starts with one of those chaotic piano bits that sounds like it's easy to play but I'm sure it's actually incredibly difficult, considering how it sounds just slightly out of time with itself, and it just keeps up like that forever.

Also, one of the most relatable songs on the album. I miss hanging out with all my friends. It's been too damn long since I've seen most of them.

•Us V Them-

This one has always had big Talking Heads energy to me. Might be the odd percussion and kinda anxious vibe.

Kinda repetitive at the end.

•Watch the Tapes-

Eh, it's alright. Imo, the weakest song on the album, which isn't to say it doesn't pull its weight, just the one I fuck with the least.

•Sound of Silver-

"Youth may be wasted on the young, but nobody old really wants to be young again, because being young FUCKING SUCKS and there's nothing to do but get torn asunder by your own out-of-control hormones and waste your youth."

•New York, I Love You But You're Bringing Me Down-

Honestly, put this in my top 30 favorite songs of all time. One I've always wanted to try at karaoke, too.

I've never lived in NYC, never even been to New York state, but I've lived enough places and watched them change entirely to have this one really resonate with me.

(A personal aside: i miss the living hell out of you, dirty sketchy downtown Normal, Illinois. I miss your weird little shops and your holes in the wall that were all torn down to make way for hotels and CVSs and 5-over-1 "luxury apartment complexes" that all only exist to bilk college kids out of their money. They tore down and paved over everything that made you cool and interesting and replaced it with corporate bullshit, and you will never be avenged because nobody but me even cares about what you were anymore.)

This track is Completely Different from every other song on the album, but one of the most heartfelt songs of true despaired longing that i could name off the top of my head.

Nothing else i can think of properly conveys the sense of: 'yeah, sure, this place was objectively terrible and truly filthy and incredibly dangerous but it was ours and we loved it dirty and scary and wonderful. It felt like home.

And now you fucking suits and state senators have gone and cleaned it up and sanitized it and moved all the weirdos out and raised the rents to keep it the riffraff and made it "acceptable to the public" and ruined literally everything that made it special and fun and different and unique and good.'

The piano is so beautiful, the drumming at the end is inspired, and the video is exceptional, too.

Damn, this album is so good.

Favorite Track: New York, I Love You, But You're Bringing Me Down. If you listen to one song on this album, make it this one.

If you listen to two songs on this album, pick North American Scum to go with it.

Least Favorite Track: Watch the Tapes.

As prophet of our age Laura Les put it best: "we don't want to watch the news, we just read statements".

[jiminzfilter]

slow dancing in the night

→ Pairing. Taehyung x reader

→ Genre. established relationship, fluff, slice of life, model!taehyung, model!reader, taehyung missed you a lot, he is starving (his words not mine), gets a bit hot by the last 40 lines, mentions of oral (f) so I guess this counts as mature content, implied smut, making out (kinda), there is a bit of swearing

→ Summary. what could possibly be better than coming home after a long day of work to someone you love and missed a lot ?

→ Word count. 3.2k (!!!)

→ because I wrote this over a year ago when I still didn't know what I was doing with my writing, I had to go through a deep process of editing and re-writing before posting it. This might not be my best work but it's still a fic that I really really like :,)

→ song rec. slow dancing in the dark, Joji// still with you, Jungkook

Fridays have always been exhausting days for both you and your boyfriend, especially on runways weeks. As models, you were put under a lot of pressure.

Pressure to be perfect, to smile but never smile too much, to look good, to not fall on stage.

Falling has to be the most tragic thing that can happen to your carreer as a model, the hungry stares of thousands of photographers and reporters ready to share the latest news to the press.

Yeah, it was exhausting.

This week was no exception... or maybe it was since, this time, you were the only one working until late.

It’s four in the morning and you’re already on your way out - kind of running late, oBviOusLy - quietly wishing your boyfriend a good day.

He is not working today.

That lucky bastard.

He gets to enjoy his free day in bed, lazing around, while you work your ass off all day. He mumbles something that you assume is a sort of goodbye. He is still asleep.

You look at him one last time before leaving the room and smile. He looks so peaceful.

You still remember the day you met, by pure luck even though you both call that fate. That was 5 years ago, when you just debuted your career as a model and were not that comfortable around high heels.

Okay no. Let’s be real.

You hated wearing them because you couldn’t walk in heels higher than 5 cm.

It’s still a wonder how you managed to make it in the first place.

Were you wearing flat shoes for the audition ? Damn you really must’ve done an impression on the judges if they made you pass without the heels try-on.

Your first day at the agency was chaotic to say the least. Your manager made you walk around the building, to visit she said. She made you wear heels. HEELS. That devilish person.

But, thank to that, you got to meet Taehyung. Your eyes landed on him as you were visiting the lounge and couldn’t tear them away from his figure. The poor man had to witness you fall down because you weren’t watching your steps anymore.

I mean.

Who could blame you ??

That was Kim frEaking Taehyung

!!!

He even came to help you get back on your feet and asked if you were alright, kind of amused.

It’s not everyday you see someone falling down in here, let alone a newbie

Let’s be honest, you were so embarrassed.

First day of work and you’re already failing falling.

That night when you came home, you spent the night wearing heels and prayed really hard you’d never have to face him again. After all, the building was big enough and there were enough workers that you could avoid Taehyung easily

If only

The NeXt day, you were told that you had a couple shooting, with none other that Kim Taehyung.

GreaT

He would occasionally tease you about your fall and check on you to see if everything was alright. He watched you carefully as you were walking around with heels.

From up close he looked even more handsome.... :)

After this day, you started talking with Taehyung more and more. He introduced you to everyone around the agency. You met outside of work, got to know each other. You both became regally good friends but there was something lingering in the air, in the way you’d look at each other or stood so close to him after a couple glasses of wine that you could breathe his air.

So what was bound to happen happened and you went from friends a to lovers without really noticing it.

He was still your best friend...somehow

Eventually, you took things to the next level and moved in together... maybe a half and a year ago or so ? You’ve never been happier in your life

And, well, you’d actually be happier if you could spend the day with boyfriend instead of running around trying to find god knows which accessories you need for the rehearsal.

8 in the morning is noT a time to be doing cardio.

Especially while wearing heels

Become a model they said, it’ll be fun they said

“Y/n! Come here please I need you to try on this dress before you go!” Your personal stylist calls “I made sure to fix it yesterday so it’d be a perfect fit for the show”

You stop your tracks and go to her “make this quick i have to go get changed before 9 otherwise I’m screwed. Why did they even decide to do the rehearsals so early today ?” You sigh, frustrated, and put on the dress she’s handing you “thank you”

“Okayyy...it looks great. Gold looks amazing on you.” She smoothes the dress and gives an approving nod, visibly satisfied ; “You’ll look perfect for the Grand Finale. Oh god it’s already 8:30 you better go before Mr.Kim throws a fit because you’re late”

You both giggle ; “thank you for fixing the dress Naeun, see you later today. Well, probably tonight. Byeeee”

The rehearsal seems to never end. You’re squeezed in dozens of different outfits, gorgeous for sure but sO tight. Mr. Kim, the one who organised the runway, is such a perfectionist that you have to re-do some things multiple times before he’s satisfied. One time the lighting isn’t right, the other the models are walking too fast, not on beat and so on.

Everyone hates him for that but he always makes the best shows so you just follow.

After multiple tries, the rehearsal finally comes to an end. It’s already 4PM. You barely get time to breathe and go pee before you’re back into the ‘running-around-to-find-my-dress-and-fix-my-makeup-oh-god-i-gotta-be-on-stage’ crazy mess.

Walking on the runway feels amazing, running backstage is terrible.

It’s so hot and small back there you can hardly move around well.

It takes 2 hours for the whole fashion show to be over, one more for pictures outside the catwalk and chat with reporters. Since you’re kind of a famous model now, you get invited to the afterparty and spend few extra hours interacting with some celebrities that attended the show. Other models were invited and you’re happy to see familiar faces amongst them. Jimin, an old colleague and friend of yours, comes your way and compliments you. You chat with him for a while before deciding you’ve had enough for the day and leave the party. A few more people greet you on your way out.

A taxi takes you back to you company, where you left your stuff in the morning. You spend an extra thirty minutes getting rid of your heavy makeup and striping off that gorgeous but awfully tight golden dress you’ve been wearing ever since the end of the runway.

Now, you can FinaLLy go home. yassssss

It’s almost 12am when you leave the agency and climb into yet another taxi. The ride is quiet, background music playing over the car’s radio, and you take some time to look at what you were gifted for your performance : fancy makeup products, accessories, pieces of clothing-but not those from the runway, you sadly never get to keep those. Being kinda famous has its perks :,)

You then decide it’s time to warn Taehyung you’ll arrive soon and send him a few texts. As if he was waiting for them, he instantly replies saying he’ll be waiting for you and proceeds to spam you with heart emojis. Sometimes, it looks like this man just discovered what emojis were and is trying to use them as much as possible. What a child…

It’s way past midnight when you finally step into your duplex and the first thing you notice is that the place is way too quiet.

Maybe Tae went back to sleep, who knows, it’s super late after all…

:(

You remove shoes and jacket and drop your bags in the entrance before going further and you call out quietly “anyone here? Tae, you sleeping?”

There is a faint glow from the tv on your right but the sound has been muted.

Weird…

“Taehyung ?" You call one last time

Suddenly, two strong arms wrap themselves around your waist and you’re pulled into someone’s chest. You gasp, almost scream, but soften up when you feel the warmth on your back

“Hi baby” a deep voice says in your ear, sending chills down your spine “I missed you”

You turn around and are very pleased to see a handsome face and a warm exposed chest your boyfriend smiling at you.

“Mhm, missed you too” You wrap your arms around him and rest your head against his chest, happy to hear his heartbeat. Taehyung places his head atop of yours and gently strokes your hair. You tighten your grasp around him and hum.

Few seconds later, he lifts your chin up and gently lays a kiss on your lips.

“How are you doing?” He asks, his right hand cupping your cheek. The warmth of it is comforting.

“Exhausted, but you know how it goes” You shrug and he smiles

“Not too tired for dinner ? I could cook something if you want”

“Mhm... let me just go shower and put something else on” You sadly let go of him

“Sure, go ahead” he whispers and you give him a kiss before regretfully tearing yourself away from him.

You walk up the stairs to your bedroom, where you find the bed undone. You smile, Taehyung never really liked making the bed and, very honestly, neither did you. You slump onto the mattress and bury your face into the pillows, inhaling his scent. Lavender. Relaxing. Just like he is.

After a warm shower, you find a t-shirt Taehyung left on a chair in the room and wear it. It’s big enough to reach your thighs and, if you were more energised, you’d probably stay like this. You grab large pants and put them on.

Once again, you smell lavender all around you.

When you’re back in the living area, you see Taehyung busying himself in the kitchen. He hears your steps and his eyes find yours as a smile appears on his face when he notices that you’re wearing his shirt

“My shirt looks better on you than it’d ever do on me” He teases, his gaze longing on your frame.

“maybe I should keep it then” you smile and ask ; ”Do you need any help?”

“no no no no no, you’ve worked enough already. Go and have some rest. I'll call you when everything’s ready okay?”

Too tired to argue on this anyways -and thankful for the given rest-, you go lay down on the couch, your body oriented to let you look at Taehyung.

As he hums and moves to the chill music that was playing in the background, you start to detail his beautiful figure. From the curl of his dark hair (which you knoW are so so soft to the touch) to his beautiful profile and his nose you love so much down to his broad shoulder and then his tanned abs you see from time to time when the opened shirt of his pyjama moves according to his steps.

oH! Let’s not forget his perfect hands gripping at the pan’s handle while he cooks… vegetables? Something like that yeah.

Taehyung is giving his best into what he’s cooking. Vegetables with rice, that’s the only thing he could do quickly.

Quickly as in less than half an hour, unlike his friend Namjoon who’d take this time just to cook the rice.

The music he put earlier is slowly starting to bore him. After washing his hands, he reaches out for his phone and plays a different playlist. It’s one you name yourself when the two of you were still friends (aka not dating yet). “Taetae fm” because you once joked he should have his own broadcasting channel on the radio. He’d always criticise the music playing so why not have his own channel 👀

“You know Y/n, I actually watched the fashion show live this afternoon. I mean, of course you know because I always do that haha. Anyways, you really were the highlight of the runway tonight. And I’m not saying this in a biased point of view. Okay I might be a bit biased as your boyfriend but I swear that it’s true!! You literally shone back there, especially in that gold dress you were wearing and even the audience was impressed by your looks maybe you didn’t see it on stage but some cameras filmed their reactions and everyone was looking at you. Really, you were so gorge-oh” Taehyung looks at you and smile fondly “Of course you’re asleep, baby”

He lets his phone aside and checks the now cooked food before making his way to the couch. There’s a blanket on the sofa, he covers you with it, scared you might get cold. Taehyung put a loose strand of hair behind your ear and places a kiss on your chin.

You slowly open your eyes and find yourself face to face with him. You both smile.

“Hi there beautiful” He whispers

“what time is it? Did I sleep until the morning?” You’re scared of having slept through the entire nap without realising

“almost 1:20am, I just finished cooking. I thought you might be cold so I went to cover you with the blanket. You should go enjoy the food while it’s still hot, imma go to the toilet”

You nod as an answer and watch him leave upstairs. Getting up from the warmth of the couch is the hardest part so you keep the soft blanket draped around your shoulders and walk towards the kitchen. You grab two bowls and two pairs of chopsticks that you place on the counter along with glasses and a bottle of water.

You then go take care of the rice and the vegetables, which you mix in the pan. The song playing changes and your favourite nighttime tune starts.

“I don’t want a friend, I want my life in two” you sing along

“Waiting to get there, waiting for you” Taehyung’s voice startles you as he grabs your wrists and pulls your back close to him. You smile as he makes the both of you dance slowly. You put his arms around you so it’s like he’s hugging you from the back. You swing around for a little while, enjoying the close proximity as you both softly hum the song, making your body vibrate against each other, moving in perfect coordination.

“I love you” he whispers in your ear and then kisses it, sending chills down your spine, before lifting one of your arm up to make you turn so that you’re now facing him “did my baby sleep well?” You nod as you place your arms around his waist, paying attention to go under the shirt so you’re touching as much skin as possible.

Taehyung chuckles before asking you in that same, chill-sending, low deep voice ; “Still hungry? Because I’m starving”

If you didn’t just wake up, you would’ve definitely caught that lust in his eyes and also the fact that this wasn’t as innocent as it seemed.

As an answer, your stomach growls pretty loudly, making Taehyung laugh . “I’ll take that as a yes. Sit down, princess. Let me take care of you”

You do as he says, jumping on a stool, detailing all of his moves. You only realise how hungry you actually were when you start eating. Rice with vegetables has never tastes better. You eat everything in less than 5 minutes when you’d usually take your time to finish your plate.

“Damn, that was a well needed dinner! Thank you Tae” you mess a bit with his soft locks

“Imagine me who was waiting for you all evening!! I was hungry too” He pouts.

“Oh come on, I was working today. Cardio in heels isn’t the best way to wake up, let alone spend the whole day standing in tight clothes. When I think you has a day off… pfff. I saw the bed, I’m sure you stayed there all day, you lazyyyyyyyyy ass.”

He mumbles some gibberish and you giggle, knowing that you're right. He looks away, crossing his arms and obviously sulking. You leave your stool and stand behind him, wrapping your arms around his neck. You leave a few kisses on his cheek and neck

“- Don’t be such a babyy. You know I love you.

- You do?

- of course, you dummy” you bop his nose "Sooo, what do we have for desert?

- You. Uh I mean!! Yoghurt, fruits, cakes, fruits…anything” he clears his throat

“Great! What do you prefer?” You open the fridge

“ I’d very happily eat you out honestly but an apple sounds good”

“Oh sur- wait whaT!?” You snap your head to him, eyes wide open

what did he sayyyyyyyy?????

whaT am I even supposed to say noW oh my goddddd

You close the fridge’s door, suddenly not so yogurt-hungry.

There’s a sudden silence between the two of you, only disturbed by the music still playing in the background.

“Mhm? What is it?” He turns around to face you, asking so innocently “did I say something wrong ?”

This man knows what he is doing for sure. Has he ever been that straightforward before ?

Taehyung stands and closes the distance between your bodies, now towering over you.

He lowers himself slightly to speak in your ear “what is it baby? Mhm?” You feel his smile on your cheek when he lays a kiss on it “what happened to my all proud and fierce y/n who was so confident telling me I was being lazy all day, huh? Tell me” He lays another kiss on your temple

OkaY

now he’s being a tease

Great

1 A.M. fluffy and bare chested teaser Taehyung

gReAT

Anyhow, it’s a good turn on.

Really.good.freaking.turn.on

Being tired and turned on was definitely not a good mix for you. You could feel the heat rising in your body and hear your heart pounding in your ears.

“Tae…”

He laughs gently seeing you silently begging for more, brushing your face with his lips, teasing another kiss.

“Tsk tsk, you gotta speak darling, I cannot guess”

You should calm down and go to sleep, it’s 1am and you have work tomorrow you should definitely-

“Fuck-“ You sigh and grab his face, sealing your lips together while closing your eyes.

It doesn’t take long for that kiss to turn into a heated make out session.

You grab and pull some of his dark curls while his hands travels under his your shirt.

You break the kiss just a second to catch your breath.

“Have i ever told you you have the perfect body?” Taehyung asks

“Did I ever tell you how perfect you are??” You reply

He laughs, deep raspy laugh.

You’re too tired for this

And because you’re tired, you’re even more horny :D

Taehyung puts his hands behind your thighs and you jump, locking your legs around his waist, hands still in his hair, lips against his while carries you to the bedroom.

He leaves your lips to travel down your jaw and then collarbone. You throw your head back.

Taehyung gently lays you on the mattress of your king sized bed and makes it his personal mission to pleasure you tonight.

[a-clockwork-justice]

Everything I Love About Loser Geek Whatever

So, not too long ago, it was the third birthday of Loser Geek Whatever. Yes, I know the single was released on November 30th 2018 and its considered the song’s official birthday, but the 26th July three years ago was the first showing of the 2018 Off-Broadway revival of Be More Chill and the first time Loser Geek Whatever was shown to the world in any capacity. Therefore, I consider that day to be the song’s unoffical birthday and I’ve been waiting to write down everything I love about it so here I am. (This was originally gonna be posted on the 26th July but I can’t make anything concise so it took longer than that).

I’ve gone on and on about what Loser Geek Whatever means to me personally, how a slew of random chance introduce me to it, got me deep into Be More Chill, introduced me to 90% of my current friends, and overall up-ended my whole life, but now it’s time to dissect the song itself and why it’s so great. As much as I adore Loser Geek Whatever, it could’ve easily been any other song that threw me down a rabbit hole and that I could’ve latched onto- no, wait, it couldn’t have been, because Loser Geek Whatever is unique in that way. I did about a year of music at A-Level so I’m gonna delve into some of the technical aspects here too. I’m chronicling this mostly for myself so I am going as deep as I see fit because this song is a treasure hiding yet more treasures. If you happen to love Loser Geek Whatever as much as I do, this’ll be your goldmine.

So, grab a snack my fellow fans, because here’s a comprehensive list of everything to love about Loser Geek Whatever in roughly chronological order. Long post incoming:

The song starts off strong from the first millisecond - I don’t know what instrument(s) they used but just listen to the single version again - that opening chord blares at you like a siren. It calls for your attention, screaming this is incredibly important, and indeed it is. That chord, an F chord, has no indication as to whether it’s major or minor - it’s just the tonic F with its dominant C and another tonic F above it. In other words, it’s unresolved, it hangs in the air. From a narrative standpoint, Jeremy is at a crossroads, torn between giving into the SQUIP or staying loyal to Michael, and the music paints this. It has the same effect on both the single and album versions - I always hold my breath as it holds, it’s the gap in this crucial transition for Jeremy between who he was and him becoming something he isn’t.

To continue the thread of musical painting, the melody line contains the accidental E-flat which doesn’t belong to the key of F major. This once again illustrates Jeremy’s uncertainty, but there’s more - the whole introduction is a slowed-down version of the Apocalypse of the Damned theme from Two Player Game, arguably the point in the show when Michael and Jeremy’s relationship was at its strongest. Jeremy’s recalling everything he had with Michael, but the slowing down of the melody shows hesitancy, along with highlighting the accidental E flat. These latter points of course aren’t unique to Loser Geek Whatever - they’re also in the section of Upgrade that twins with Loser Geek Whatever. I’m just laying out why they work so well. 

I’m glad I waited until after I saw the show in London to finish writing this - I’m something of a Loser Geek Whatever purist, as made clear by my ire at them cutting it in half and tacking the end of Upgrade back on for the London version. I still enjoyed the show in London though and I’m glad I knew about this change ahead of time, because they did change something about the song that I think really worked - they added two notes in the bass to each bar, like heartbeats, which once again signifies Jeremy’s uncertancy and the importance of this major turning point.

It’s been firmly established by this point that Jeremy is a loser and he knows it. He doesn’t want to be a hero, he just wants to survive, but there’s a difference between that and feeling “inconsequential.” Jeremy is basically admitting that, in his eyes, it doesn’t matter to the world or anyone except Michael if he even survives or not. He’s not just a loser, or a geek - he’s a whatever, with no one caring who he is. And he’s felt this way for years - since middle school began. He’s now in his Junior year of high school - that’s five years of being in this state of being unnoticed at best and picked on at worst. He’s “the one who’s left out”. With just one little line, hell, one word, we’re given more layers as to why he so badly wants to change that.

Moving from the first verse to the chorus, we start to see Jeremy’s attitude shift, from being sad to being angry - he’s frustrated, resentful that he’s spent so long in this state (A lot of people have made similar comparisons about Will Roland’s Jeremy as a whole in relation to Will Connolly’s Jeremy and I think this song exemplifies that). He doesn’t deserve to feel this horrible - not now and certainly not for the next two years until he and Michael can be “cool in college.” When you think about it, what options does he really have? He could either give into the SQUIP or reject it and go back to where he was, still miserable and lonely. Yes, he has Michael and Michael is an amazing, kind, loyal best friend, but as many have pointed out, he’s also dismissive of Jeremy’s feelings of inadequacy whether he means to be or not, which only made Jeremy feel more lonely. Should Jeremy just expect to feel better about himself at some point before college? He’s waited for years, why would that happen at any other point?

More layers baby! Second verse, Jeremy rants on about his father’s advice about following his own instincts and how it’s gotten him nowhere he wants to be. Come to think of it, Michael’s advice about staying the same and waiting for their environment to change can be seen as similar - it’s arguably easier for Michael as he has two loving mothers who undoutably give him plenty of positive reinforcement. Meanwhile, Jeremy’s mother has left them, which likely instilled further feelings of not being good enough, and his father has fallen apart to the point where he can’t even put pants on, let alone step up to take care of his son, meaning that Jeremy likely isn’t going to take his advice very seriously, especially after it’s failed him so thoroughly. But to Jeremy, the problem isn’t necessarily the advice itself - it’s that it’s being followed by him. So now he’s going to turn around and put his life and every choice in something else’s hands, even if - no, especially if it goes against his own instincts. It still doesn’t feel quite right, it “feels bizarre”, but it’s getting him somewhere, so it has to be right in the most meaningful capacity, and to Jeremy, the “most meaningful capacity” is any capacity that isn’t his own.

Now the best line - the one about being a “normal, handsome guy”. Let’s get this on the table - Jeremy is trans. Will Roland himself said that he often thinks of the show’s young trans fans when he sings that line. Naturally, societal transphobia plus gender dysphoria would have a pretty catestrophic effect on the self-esteem of any growing teenager, even more so one in Jeremy’s situation for the reasons I’ve just laid out. He’s probably missed out on a lot of things that “normal” guys take for granted, with most girls barely looking in his direction, let alone in any positive manner. Jeremy’s own sexuality aside, it’s mostly society, and the SQUIP by extension, that considers scoring with girls to be a “manly” or masculine activity, and through Brooke treating him as dateable material, Jeremy feels better about fitting into society’s rules of how a man should be and act. This isn’t the only reason he feels good about Brooke finding him attractive, of course, but it’s just another layer that Jeremy sees more value in conforming to how society says he should be rather than in how he actually is.

I know I just said that the last point was about the best line, but honestly, there’s more than one best line in this song. The bridge is where we start to see Jeremy’s language becoming more technologically inclined - “prompt”, “command” and “bandwidth” are all terms used in computing and used to show how Jeremy is likening himself, or his intentions, to a computer, effectivly merging himself and his SQUIP into one entity and Jeremy willingly giving over his own individuality.

And HERE, we get to the kicker. I’ve talked a lot about layers throughout this whole essay, about themes and motifs building on each other. Jeremy is essentially peeling back the layers of his own situation and only finding reason after deeper reason after deeper reason as to why he should follow the SQUIP and not be a loser anymore. Now, he hits the core, the seed, the crux of it all - “The problem has ALWAYS BEEN ME!!” Everything he is, everything that makes Jeremy Heere himself, is and has always been wrong. This line is a gut punch and EVERYONE knows it - the performer always takes a few seconds to let it sink in before continuing.

As an aside, I wanna mention the differences between the single and the album versions of the bridge. The album version starts of quieter after the vocalising of the last chorus, and builds up to the climactic final line, while the single version is loud all the way through but gets even louder and punchier at the end. Both are good, but I personally prefer the single version - the album sounds like Jeremy is broken and desperate and on the verge of tears as he reaches his inevitable but ugly realisation. The single is also desperate, but it’s pleading and all-consuming and a THOUSAND times more powerful, I get chills every time I hear it. (Side note, the London version starts of loud like the single and ends quieter like the album, almost as if Jeremy is reluctant to admit what he truly believes about himself, and it’s easy to see why, it’s a damn harsh condemnation).

“Take a breath and get prepared” - Jeremy sings to both himself and the audience. The first half has been heavy and we need a breather. Yet just before he goes over the brink, he has second thoughts. His conscience, his own voice in his head, breaks through, warning him that his choice will have consequences for other people than himself. People will get hurt - Michael most of all. Not just by Jeremy ditching him; here’s something else - when Jeremy is the “cool dude”, he might end up being a bully to those who are losers just like him, cutting them down just as Rich’s SQUIP made Rich do to him. Who would be the perfect target for Jeremy’s potential future bullying? His former best friend and fellow loser, Michael Mell. It’s pretty damn likely that if the SQUIP hadn’t optic nerve blocked Michael, it would’ve told Jeremy to pick on him, and even though Michael has ostensibly been pretty good at brushing these things off before, the takedowns would hurt a LOT more coming from his former best friend - and we know this because IT ACTUALLY HAPPENS, granted without the SQUIP influencing Jeremy directly (also let’s just clear up that just because the SQUIP wasn’t on doesn’t mean its influence on Jeremy hadn’t disappeared - that’s not how emotional abuse works).

Twelve years of loyal friendship, of borderline unhealthy codependency … can he throw all that away for Christine, a girl he’s thus admired from afar and is only just starting to get to know as a person? Moreover, even if Jeremy gets Christine, what about himself, who he wants to be? He just wants to be something other than himself because he thinks that anything is better but … what? The cool dude, the hero or … whatever. He’ll take anything because he’s that desperate, but what about when he gets it? Will he finally be satisfied? Will it be worth failing his one real friend, an act so scummy that the only way he could possibly stomach it would be to somehow pretend he hadn’t done it?

But none of those questions matter to Jeremy now - he’s fully gaslit into believing that every thought and inclination that comes from himself is wrong and shouldn’t be followed. He needs to sync up with the SQUIP and the rest of the world and mute his own defective inner voice. When you think about it, the relationship between Jeremy and the SQUIP is one of the most intense abusive relationships ever put to fiction - we’ve seen emotional abuse and brainwashing before, but here, Jeremy is literally preventing from THINKING the wrong way because the SQUIP can detect his every thought. See what I mean when I say that doesn’t go away when the SQUIP turns off for a few minutes?!

Throughout all of this is the undercurrent of Jeremy wanting to get better. He’s been trying so hard for so long to have a better life, but nothing has worked. Not listening to his dad, not trying to get closer to Christine through theatre, and certainly not listening to Michael’s advice to wait until college. Why should he resign himself to even more time being miserable with no end in sight? After all, being cool in college isn’t a guarantee. After all he’s been through, it’s his turn to finally be cool, after an eternity of being someone he doesn’t want to be.

Another best line in this song - “I’m Player One.” As mentioned a few times in the show before, like in the Broadway upgrade, Jeremy feels lower even in his friendship with Michael - he’s Player 2 as the more experienced Michael is Player 1. As previously established, Jeremy admits that he’s “not the one who the story’s about.” Now he’s ready to finally take control of his life, be the main character and have good things happen to him, and that means cutting out Michael, the old Player 1. The irony here is that Jeremy is less like Player 1 and more like a video game avatar. In reality, the SQUIP is Player 1, making Jeremy do whatever it demands of him.

More best lines! The slew of insults towards the end serves not just as yet more gut punches for the audience but as a major catharsis for Jeremy - It’s telling that the insults get harsher as his rant goes on, from the “weirdo” to the “weakling freak” to the “failure” to the climactic “please don’t speak”. He’s unloading everything that he’s been carrying over the years, ripping out the bullets that have been embedded in his skin and re-opening all the wounds in the process, but he’s done with the pain and he’ll never ever let himself be hurt like that again, if he follows the SQUIP.

I’ve made a whole post about the significance of the best line “Please Don’t Speak” before so I’ll mostly be repeating a lot of what I said there because it’s been a while since that post and because I want to. Who would’ve said that to Jeremy? Probably not Rich or Chloe, it’s not like them. It had to have come from an adult in a position of authority that could’ve commanded Jeremy not to speak like that - one that apparently did so enough times for him to internalise those words like he did the others. (Even worse if it was more than one adult ...). Out of all of the insults, it’s easy to see how that can easily be the most scarring out of all of them - how would an adult let a child know they’re inadequate? By silencing them. Making it clear that their expression of self not only means nothing, but should be forcibly avoided. Put like that, it makes it much easier to see how and why Jeremy fell under the SQUIP’s influence so easily - telling it was hardly different from authority figures he’s experienced before. In even more sad irony, as Jeremy claims that he’s breaking free and letting go of his past as the “please don’t speak”, he’s just walking right into another, similar trap that he can’t easily escape from. The SQUIP literally vocal cord blocks him during The Play - if that doesn’t say “Please don’t speak,” what does?!

The climax is growing! The music shifts into the relative minor as Jeremy fully gives in to the SQUIP’s evil influence. This is the point of no return, the point where he’s literally being surrounded and overtaken - if you’ve seen this on stage or even just a bootleg, you’ll know what I mean, when the lighting shifts and the circuitry start closing in around him, it’s wonderful. The bass ascends, Jeremy declares once and for all that HE IS NOT THE LOSER, THE GEEK, OR WHATEVER, and he never will be again! As some have pointed out, the sequence of notes on the final “again” is the same as at the end of Be More Chill Part 2, except the last note is different. In BMC part 2, it goes further down by a minor third, but in Loser Geek Whatever, it rises up to the same note it started with. This foreshadows Jeremy’s fate - that he will eventually overcome the SQUIP and that he still has it in him to do so. Man, let me just point out how amazing that last belt is - it lasts for a full 15 seconds in a really high range and takes a LOT of control to bring it back up to the high B without breaking. This song really was written for Will Roland - his voice can pull it off seamlessly, but other actors and understudies have had to find workarounds. No disrespect to them, it’s a damn hard song and it kicks ass all the way through. Scott Folan apparently had trouble with it too, but on the day I happened to see him, he pulled it off without breaking, so props to him!

Overall, Loser Geek Whatever is my favourite song in Be More Chill and not just for its sentimental value to myself. It’s a genuinely deep, complex piece that earned every second of its six minutes. Loser Geek Whatever is definitely the missing piece the show needed - not only is it Jeremy’s solo song, it’s also his “I Want” song and, in a way, his 11 o’clock number all in one, as he’s having a major epiphany after going on a journey, albeit only half of one. It’s easy to see why Joe Iconis dubbed this his anti-Defying Gravity, but it’s also easy to draw parallels to No Good Deed - how both Jeremy and Elphaba vow to become something that society is forcing upon them rather than what they are, even if that society’s will is objectively worse for them. Loser Geek Whatever deserves a thousand times the recognition it has and I still wonder to this day what the fandom reaction would’ve been if it had been in the original soundtrack.

So, that was it. I’m not sorry it was this long.

TL;DR: Loser Geek Whatever is wonderful and anyone who doesn’t think so is wrong.

[janeyseymour]

I saw the second preview of six and here are my thoughts (along with a few fun stories at the end):

My heart literally fell out of my ass when the queens started walking out They changed a few small little things here and there and it was perfect If six doesn’t win best lighting at the Tony’s I will sue Ex-wives was WOW I literally could not stop smiling Some of the poses were different 

ADRIANNA FREAKING NAILED NO WAY

I am convinced she just is beyonce always

She’s just fantastic in that role and that’s what I have to say about that

Ig abby danced a little too hard during no way because she kept messing with her wig after

Actually she lowkey played with it throughout the whole show and it was adorbs

Britt was helping her fix it and like pointing out where it was a little cray (also abby’s wig looks so good omf)

ANDREA IS- WOAH DURING DLYH

Her delivery throughout the whole show was a bit more mature, but it was still so babey I love her

(On a side note someone today told me I look like Andrea, which is very kind but so untrue because I literally look like a broken thumb and she is gorgeous)

Her “IM NOT SORRY” was amAZING

She like low-key cut made the whole head joke short and im kinda sad ab it, but it was still fantastique

Through the “Wearing Yellow To A Funeral Bit” abby looked confused through the entire thing and I was cracking up

HEART OF STONE HOLY SHIT

She was INCREDIBLE and her dress was so pretty and sparkly and I just wow 

Shes just so pretty in general like ma’am how do you do that please drop the skin care routine 

The emotion that was conveyed was enough to make me tear up BUT I DID NOT CRY AND I AM VERY PROUD OF THAT 

she did the “you lift me high” line and kinda went into this airy place in her voice and it was angelic and heavenly and all the good things

HER RIFFS WERE JUST DFJDHJLFH

She was just fantastic and thats all I have to say 

Thats a lie I have so many things to say about that woman but the time will come

HOH was a whole acid trip there was a point during this song where I literally just took it all in and then thought “Janey, you really spent your hard earned money to go on an acid trip for a solid few minutes good job”

Their dancing is hilarious and thats that

ABBY SAYING “BUT WE CANNOT GUARANTEE THAT YOU’LL STILL WALK AT FORTY” I had to stifle a laugh because my queen is indeed 40

THE GERMAN ACCENTS HAD ME QUAKING

Brittney Mack is… all bad bitch energy and I was living for it

She is a queen

When she did the “my horses can trot up to twelve miles an hour”- in the boot (not that I watch those…) abby is always making a 😳😶😲 kind of face and this time she just couldn’t stop smiling and it made me laugh

WOOF

Her reveal was SO GOOD she literally just started checking out her nails while everyone just applauded… AS THEY SHOULD

When britt told the person to get up, this person full on WENT and britt was like shook it was hysterical

THE INTERLUDE BETWEEN GET DOWN AND THEN KAT’S ROAST WAS ICONIQUE

i dont think it was here but I cant remember where it was but BRITT WAS PLAYING WITH ABBY’S WIG AND IT WAS REALLY CUTE SHE WAS LIKE PLAYING WITH THE ENDS OF IT AND AWH

justice for the beheaded cousins 

BOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO BABY MARY HAD THE CHICKEN POX AND YOU DIDN’T GET TO HOLD HER HAND… YOU KNOW ITS FUNNY BECAUSE WHEN I WANTED TO HOLD MY NEWBORN SON…. IIIIII DIIIIIIEDD. Abby lowkey went feral and I loved every second of it and then her pose after got so many laughs it was truly amazing

THE K HOWARD ROAST WAS JUST SO GOOD IT WAS SO GOOD

Aywd destroyed me

I also teared up here but I did not let those babies fall because I was not about to ruin my look

justice for my pink queen

Her delivery is insane and honestly its gotten better and I didn’t even know that was possible because WOW SHE WAS ALREADY STUNNING BUT DAMN MY HEART GOT RIPPED OUT OF MY CHEST

The whole “Catherine not singing” bit was fantastic

Abby looked so confused the entire time 

Andrea’s “hahaha what” was perfecto 

when Anna said “should we really be doing this” someone in the audience went “yes” very loudly and made the queens break for a solid second abby almost forgot to say her line and you could barely hear it because the audience was laughing at the rando 

Anna acknowledged it and just went “I know” before turning to the queens and saying “I know” it was hysterical 

“I’m Catherine parr, I draw the line in arbitrary places bLaH bLaH bLaH”

THE CLAPPING- BRITT GOT IN HER FACE AND JUST *CLAP. CLAP. CLAP.”  It was the funniest thing oh my gosh

“Are you sure Catherine? I-we don’t mind if you wanna sit this one out… I mean you must be exhausted from all those backing vocals”

IDNYL WAS INSANE AND ANNA UZELE IS WICKED TALENTED LIKE DANG

I dont know if this was intentional or not but when they all start to understand the purpose of parr’s thing- abby is the last to stand up and in my head im like “no yeah that makes sense because shes “the one he truly loved” and shes still trying to get to a point where shes realizing he wasn’t all that great and I dont know I just really like that minor detail

The whole “remember that I was a writer…” part got loud cheers, especially from abby it was very cute

She did a new riff on the “we all disappear” line and WOW my eyes went so wide it was so good I was genuinely shook

the “i dont get it” was sooo good

“My sixth finger” was said so casually and so determinedly that it was a whole new joke and I loved it

“Everyone notices Jane cant dance” -abby just looking so sad

“Yeeeaaaahhhhh. I read!” Was so cute and she sounded so proud of herself it was adorbs

The way they just stood there awkwardly was amazing and got so many laughs it was so good

When sam said the line about competing, abby really almost cut Anna’s line out but she caught herself and it was funny I dont know if anyone else noticed it, but I did and it was glorious

REMIX

“Rise abo-o-o-o-ove” WAS BEAUTIFUL THEY WERE IN SUCH GOOD HARMONY

AGAIN, ANNA’S RIFFS HOW DOES THAT WOMAN DO THAT AT THE END OF THE SHOW LIKE SHIT

After it was over, of course it got long applause and the entire time abby was doing her like “sparkle hands” but also awkwardly moving her arm kinda like a noodle and then going back to sparkle hands and it gave me a good chuckle

Six

The slow acoustic part was so soft I died

The harmonies was delicious

The audience was so hype

Megasix

Super hype

Amazing

Fantastic

All the good things ever

Basically it was just adorable and amazing and absolutely stunning

The new costumes are gorgeous and the lighting is wild if they don’t win best lighting for Tony awards I will full on riot

Aragon and Boleyn interacted a lot and so did Seymour and Cleves and it was very very sweet

Abby interacted with the band a lot to the point where she almost missed a cue and it was very endearing

AND THEN THEY DID THE CURTAIN UP THING AND FIRST OF ALL WOW THEY ARE ALL SO CUTE AND IT WAS SO SWEET SEEING THE WAY THEY ALL WATCHED EACH OTHER WHILE THEY WERE SINGING AND I JUST JDKFDJLA

abby’s hair is SO LONG but I am here for it

So I was looking for my friend when I hear “Make some room, make a path!” From a security guard, and the queens legit walked RIGHT PAST ME

I wanted to go to the theatre anyway to take pictures, but when I saw them, I did follow them back to the theatre because wow I wanted to bask in their glory I didnt even want to talk to them I just wanted to be in their presence

So im like, walking behind them when this happens:

I guess abby saw someone she knew because I heard this “abby!” And then she was like “OH MY GOD” and like RAN to hug them and i legit almost walked right into her/got stepped on but i freaking stopped like a noob i should’ve just let her run me over but I did not I just stopped in my tracks and let out a soft “aH” and then went around her

And then I got to meet a friend and apparently toby heard us squealing and watched us hug for a solid however long so that was awkward

And Julia schade was like talking to him and stared at us for a good amount of time

And then I was walking away and passed Julia again and she kept looking at me, but she was talking to someone else and I think she thought I was going to stay to talk to her (and I would have loved to) but I didnt I just gave her a smile, a nod, and a little wave because I can not do confrontation like if I could not confront abby ma’am I cannot confront u either I am SHY

And that is a very detailed run down of my time in nyc at the brooks

[alolowrites]

Midnight Fantasies

Summary: Shinsou reminds you why you’ll always love him. 

Song Inspiration: “Repeat After Me” by The Weeknd

Author Note: *gasp* Did I actually post a new story and it’s NSFW?!? Crazy, I know. I’m honestly surprised it’s not Bakugou doing the honors LMAO. It’s my first attempt writing a NSFW fic, so I am nErVoUs ahsdksjd. I really like how it turned out; y’all can thank The Weeknd for this.

MINORS PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT. PLS. 

Warnings: Aged-Up Characters; Fem!Reader; Oral Sex (Female receiving); some basic, vanilla, sex tbh (baby steps y’all). Unprotected sex (whoops); Slight angst?? I’m sorry, I had to. Not sure if im missing something else....

Word Count: 1.6K+

3:16am

A tiny flame burns quietly on your bedside table, casting a glow on your whimpering face. You sink further into the silky pillows and close your eyes—his sinful touches are heavenly. They are the cure to the madness that was eating you alive the last few nights. But tonight, oh, tonight is different as strong hands roam along your body, treasuring each curve like a precious gift sent from above.

You let out a shaky breath, your fingers curling on the soft covers that probably won’t survive once the morning sun rises. But you don’t care as you feel his lips explore every inch of your bare shoulder. He moves toward your lovely neck and nips it softly, making you whine. A deep chuckle tickles by your ear as he hovers over you.

His left knee wedges in between your legs and grazes the dangerously wet panties. You moan, your hand clinging on his sculpted back muscles like a koala. He then grinds himself down on you, and your fingers dig into his thick skin. Oh, how he enjoys riling you up like this. You roll your hips to satisfy the pleasure burning inside your core.

“Fuck, Hitoshi…”

“That’s it,” he murmurs, his hot breath blowing against your heated skin. Shinsou gives you a chaste kiss, whispering, “Just relax. Let me take care of you tonight.”

A shudder runs down your spine—you yearned for this.

Shinsou listens to your body very carefully. He lets all the desperate squirms, the excited jolts, the heavy pants guide him on this long, sensual journey. You arch your back as Shinsou moves down, his lips leaving behind a blazing trail of kisses.

Breathy moans fill the room as the hemline of your satin nightdress rises up, exposing your ass. One of Shinsou’s palms greedily gropes it, amazed at how soft and delectable it feels. You pant harder as the hand travels south, the pace so agonizingly slow that your body is on fire. He stops and grips the thin fabric of your panties. You gaze at him, heart pounding when lustful eyes stare back at you.

They are like dark storm clouds ready to ravage the world—or in this case, you. A devious smile graces his lips as the panties slide off your legs and are tossed away, never to be seen again. You yelp when he pulls you closer to him, his face disappearing in between your legs. The anticipation grows as you feel him leave ghostly kisses along your inner thighs, waiting for those deadly lips to—

“S-shit,” you cry quietly, eyes shutting for a moment.

Shinsou’s tongue gives a teasing flick on your clit. He grins and licks around the swollen area, peppering it with kisses as well. You squirm on the bed and release another shaky breath. Shinsou wastes no time sucking your wet cunt, his mouth savoring the sweet taste dripping out your quivering hole.

A broken gasp rips through the air when his thumb circles on your clit. It moves at a steady rhythm, and you ride along with it, panting heavily the quicker he goes. You don’t want it to stop—not when the pleasure is so damn addicting, making your toes curl. Shinsou then sucks on the sweet spot, hard, and you moan louder.

“Oh, god, yes,” you chant like a broken record. One hand grips his messy hair, and you shiver when he grunts. Your hand has a mind of its own, pushing his face deeper to keep that friction going. “Fuck, more.”

And Shinsou obliges, devouring your throbbing pussy like a starved man. You simply buck your hips against his mouth and dig your fingers on his scalp until it bleeds. Shinsou holds you in place, the filthy sounds of his tongue pushing you over the edge. You keep hanging until it’s all too much and cry out in pure ecstasy, the waves rippling down your body.

Shinsou finally comes up for air, his chin dripping with that sweet cum of yours. He wastes no precious time capturing your lips that are dying for his attention. You fully surrender to him without hesitation, letting the man’s tongue dance inside your mouth. The blended taste of your honeyed cum and his saliva—an intense, rich flavor of ripe raspberries—overwhelms all of your senses.

You pull back when Shinsou grinds himself against you once more. That’s when you feel his large cock bulging through his boxers, teasing you to no end. He shifts a little, and the bed groans. Through half-lidded eyes, you whimper at the sight of Shinsou pumping his hard rock shaft, a bit of pre-cum dripping from the head. It playfully brushes your wet folds, but you can’t wait any longer.

You just can’t.

“Please, Hitoshi,” you beg, not bothering to hide the desperation cracking in your voice. “Please, I—hngh.”

Shinsou squeezes your hips, almost encouraging you to say it. “Tell me.”

“I-I need you,” you quiver. “P-Please, I—”

Your mouth parts with a silent cry when Shinsou sinks his cock. He hisses a bit, feeling the spongy warm walls stretch around him. You mewl as he fills you up, slowly and with great care. The sensation is new yet oddly familiar and satisfies that intense hunger you had the past few nights. You shut your eyes and bite your lip—Shinsou feels amazing, the thick girth of his twitching inside your pussy.

Shinsou’s thumb caresses across your cheek, and you look at him. With a slight nod, Shinsou begins rocking you, the bed creaking with each move. His hips roll like the gentle ocean waves under a clear night sky. There’s no rush, no hurry; Shinsou wants to cherish every single second inside you, and he relishes your lovely moans filling the air.

You wrap one leg around his waist, and he holds onto it with a vice grip. Shinsou soon crashes his entire weight on you as his forearm rests near your face. He groans when your pussy clenches tightly on him.

“That’s right,” Shinsou grunts near your ear, giving you a firm thrust for good measure. “You don’t love him. Not when you’re thinking of me, kitten. Not when I’m fucking you.”

“M’fuck, Toshi!” You cling to him as Shinsou continues to rock you deeper and deeper, his pace pounding you into oblivion. “Oh god, yes…yes…”

He’s hitting you just right, over and over again, with no sign of stopping. You drown yourself in the sea of immense desire. Suddenly you’re captivated with everything Shinsou does to you. It’s his ragged breaths that scorch your skin like a raging wildfire. It’s his massive muscles that mercilessly crushes you into the mattress, trapping you there with no hope of escape. It’s his fingers—rough and enormous—that selfishly claim your skin, reminding you that you belong to him.

At least for tonight.  

You gaze into his eyes, raging with lust.

“Repeat after me,” Shinsou rasps in between each breath. “You don’t love him.”

“I...I don’t love him.”

“You love me.”

You nod, mouth trembling. “I love you, Hitoshi.”

Shinsou lets out a feral growl at your final words—words of affirmation that you both know to be true. They make him go wild, each of his thrusts more maddening than the last. You cry harder and dig into his tensed shoulders as Shinsou ravages you like no tomorrow. Yet, he holds onto his promise, and that is satisfying you tonight.

The pleasure builds rapidly throughout your body. You can feel it bubbling inside you, thrashing like waves during a stormy sea. Your eyes roll back, and your mouth opens wide, singing incoherent praises to Shinsou as he rides you through your orgasm. He holds you with all his strength when his own fervid release hits you seconds later.

Shinsou heaves loudly above you, sweat beads rolling down his forehead. His eyes never waver away from yours, admiring your flushed face. It’s beautiful, perfect even. You forgot how much Shinsou looks at you with such devotion that you break down crying.

“Hey,” he says, whispering your name. His thumb wipes a few tears from your cheek, and you flutter your gaze at him again. “It’s okay. You don’t have to cry.”

“I miss you, Hitoshi,” you croak, the tears raining down your face. “Fuck, I miss you so much.”

A faint smile barely reaches his eyes.

“I miss you, too,” he confesses, and you hear the regret flowing through his voice. Still, Shinsou fights through and swears: “But, I promise you will always be mine, okay? You’re mine, and I’m yours.”

“Okay,” you sniffle and gaze into his eyes.

You believe him with all your heart.

Shinsou reaches down and captures your lips once last time. The kiss holds a wistful longing for the old days of your enthralling relationship—the ups and downs, the highs and lows, the absolute blessings and worst mistakes imaginable, it all meshed perfectly together to create this messy mosaic called love. And Shinsou burns this into the depths of your soul where you feel it.

You absolutely feel it.

Shinsou buries his head into the crook of your neck, and you hold him, afraid to let him go. You wish to remain like this forever, sleeping peacefully in each other's arms. So you close your eyes and pray he won’t disappear.

But nothing stays forever. Shinsou’s familiar warmth and crushing weight slip through your grasp, becoming more like faded memories that float inside your head. You open your eyes and release a deep sigh—you’re alone again. All tired, sweaty, and wet, especially as you remove your fingers from your soaked pussy.

No other man could satisfy you; Shinsou made sure of that. He reminds you every single night, haunting your fantasies whether you’re getting off on your own or fucking with the new guy who wormed his way into your life. And you, as always, scream for Shinsou—discreetly or without shame.

Because you’ll always think of him. You’ll always fuck him. And you’ll always love him, repeating those words with your last dying breath.

Love is complicated, y’all. And yes, I couldn’t resist doing a little ~twist~ for the ending HA! 

Thanks for reading!! 

[jj-bxby]

if the world was ending ~ jj maybank song fic ✨100 special✨

summary - song fic inspired by ‘if the world was ending’ by jp saxe and julia michaels

gif by @toesure

word count - 4.0k

warnings - mentions of abuse and anxiety, angst!!, fluff

It was impossible to sleep. Hurricane Maggie was the biggest that Kildare had seen in years, and it was horrifying. Looking at your boarded-up windows, you passed a hand through your hair anxiously. You turned your focus back to the flashing television with warnings in bright colors filling the entirety of the display. Exhaling shakily, you turned on your phone. No new messages were shown and the screen soon flashed its “No Signal” warning. Shit.

It had been months since you and JJ decided to break up, and ever since you two had been slowly drifting apart. Even though your separation was technically mutual, it wasn’t. Breaking up with the boy was the last thing you wanted to do, but he thought it was best for both of you. After a year of being together, he still had a difficult time telling you about the mottled bruises on his body that you knew weren’t from biking accidents, about the nightmares he’d have that woke him up at night, about the way he would flinch when you moved too quickly. After hours of tear-filled argument with JJ, you two spent your last night in the same bed, and he was out of your house the next day. Despite still being friendly with the pogues, you didn’t show up to their parties or lake days as much. Seeing JJ flirt with other girls, even if it was 50 yards away from you, still felt like a knife in your heart. And him locking eyes with you during it was just twisting the knife.

JJ wasn’t your JJ anymore. And you weren’t his Y/N. Even though you hadn’t spoken in weeks, you couldn’t think of anything but him when the sirens began blaring. JJ loved to surf the amazing waves that hurricanes would create, and you doubted that Maggie’s waves would be any different. It made your breath catch in your throat when you thought of him out drinking alone, him surfing the hurricane, or, God forbid, him being stuck in his house for the duration of the storm. You felt tears prick at your eyes, knowing that he didn’t have any reason to tell you where he was or that he was safe anymore. Everyone knew Maggie would do damage, especially on The Cut, and your home was right in the danger zone. You could have stayed at Kiara’s place, but you wouldn’t have felt any safer there than you would have at home, alone. Honestly, you couldn’t care less about what happened to your house. It was a house, it can be fixed up or replaced. You laid back down on your bed, closing your eyes as all of the most dangerous scenarios your brain could conjure up flashed behind your eyes. JJ being sucked under by the surge, your home collapsing on you, JJ caught in the exposed wiring, everything scared you. You had no right to him anymore. But goddamnit, the entire fucking island was in panic mode, why couldn’t he just tell you that he was okay? Tears spilled down your cheeks as you maneuvered to settle your body under the covers, the sound of rain pelting against all sides of your home echoing through the room. You could hear one of your windows shatter, and you shut your eyes tightly. You were trying to picture being anywhere else, and what you pictured was JJ’s arms around you, holding you tightly against him while he set his head on your shoulder. It felt shameful to think of JJ as your safe haven when you hadn’t been in his arms in months, but it was the only thing calming you enough to steady your breathing as you choked back sobs.

As much as you didn’t want to admit it, JJ still held your heart fully in his hands. And right now, he was squeezing it tighter and tighter, the hole in your chest growing larger by the minute. You had thought that whatever tether attached you to him would be cut once he left you that day, but it just kept pulling. It was tighter than ever now, and the feeling of it pulling your soul from your body grew stronger the longer you stayed away from him, and it was cruel. The feeling made the whole of your body ache — Your head hurt, your chest felt tight, your legs were weak, and your arms were vacant and they pulsed with pain. It was unbearable.

The throbbing in your head worsened as something was flung against your front door. You sat up as the noise came again, even though it startled you, you knew it was likely a tree that fell. You got up to pad down the hall to your open kitchen as sleep evaded you. Trying to flick the lights on was no use, there was no power. Sighing, you grabbed a bottle of water from the counter and cracked it open. There was no alcohol in your house, as much as you truly wanted some right now. You’d given up drinking after splitting with JJ. It would have been to easy to swallow down all of the hurt, and not feeling it would have only been worse. As you walked to your couch to grab a blanket, your door swung open. JJ was standing there, sopping wet. You could see that a mixture of tears and rain stained his cheeks, his red and swollen eyes giving him away.

“Y/N,” JJ whispered, shutting the door behind him. His blue eyes contrasted the redness starkly, and they pierced through me. “I don’t… I was gonna surf the hurricane but I know you would’ve never forgiven me,” he laughed bitterly, shaking his head. “And I just — I sat in my room and the only thing I could think of was if you were alone. I know you aren’t mine anymore, I know I fucked that up. But I couldn’t stand thinking of you staying here alone.”

You didn’t know what to say. You’d been wanting him back for six months, and now he shows up at your doorstep at two in the morning. In the middle of a hurricane. Dripping wet. You didn’t say anything, you just walked towards him and wrapped your arms around his waist, holding him against you while you buried your head in his chest. You half expected him to push you off of him, but instead, he rested his chin on the top of your head before dropping it down to your shoulders. His arms quickly looped around you to hold you just as tightly while hot tears rolled down his face.

“God, I’m so sorry, Y/N.” He said, in between his hiccups and sobs. He wasn’t drunk for once. He was just so tired of fucking up, and he couldn’t handle it anymore.

You’d never seen him like this. He never let you. But now, JJ was breaking down in your arms, and he was trusting you fully. You were the one holding his heart, and he didn’t want it back.

“Shh, J. You’re alright.” You told him, fighting back the tears that welled in your eyes. You pulled back from him just enough to look at his face. “You’re gonna be freezing if you stay in these clothes. You need a shower and something dry to wear, okay?” He nodded sluggishly. “Here, come with me.”

You led JJ to your room and had him wait as you dug around in your closet to find the box of clothes JJ had kept at your place for the nights he stayed over. You debated tossing them out when you found them a couple of weeks after he left, but couldn’t bring yourself to part with them. Instead, you would find yourself digging out his Kildare sweatshirt to wear when you missed him, and his gym shorts to sleep in when it was one of your sleepless nights. Eventually, the clothes lost his scent and stopped being something consolatory. Instead, they became a source of resentment, but no matter how many times you tried to convince yourself to throw them out, they always wound up right back in the corner of your closet. You walked out with the bin, placing it on the bed and rifling through it to find something warm for him, finally settling on sweatpants and a worn Kildare tee.

“I can’t believe you kept those. I always figured you would have burned them or something,” JJ mumbled as he walked up beside you.

“I thought about it,” you said plainly. “I was gonna have ‘Somebody That I Used To Know’ playing and everything.” JJ smiled slightly, knowing you were still half-serious. You tilted your head to look at him and sighed. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes red-rimmed and puffy, and he definitely smelled like malt. You sighed because you knew exactly how little you could trust him in the shower while drunk. Usually, after keggers, you and your boyfriend would shower together so that you could keep an eye on him, as you were usually the soberest between the two of you. You’d wash him as you dodged his kisses, giggling at how lovey he was. JJ had fallen before, the dumbass, so you didn’t want him in there alone, but being alone with him was also the last thing you wanted.

“JJ?” He hummed slightly, swaying. “You aren’t sober enough to shower by yourself are you?”

JJ’s eyes widened at you and his cheeks heated up. He shook his head, knowing damn well that he would fail a sobriety test before it even started. “I mean, I could probably do it or just go without—”

“Nope, you’re swaying just standing here, and you smell like a distillery, J. C’mon.” You start off to your bathroom while JJ trails closely behind. Once you’re in, you turn on the showerhead to let it warm up. You turn around to find JJ with his shirt already off and grabbing a towel from your cupboard, handing you one. “What’s this for?”

He looks at his outstretched arm with confusion. “Shower. We’re gonna shower, right?” He says to you, tilting his head. Goddamnit, he always was a cute drunk.

“J, you’re gonna shower, I’m gonna stay out here.”

“Oh. That’s right.” He sets your towel down on the ceramic of the sink. “So, like... are you gonna let me get undressed now?” You smiled to yourself at how flustered JJ was, and you knew it wasn’t just the booze in his system.

“We dated for a year, JJ, I’ve seen you naked plenty of times,” you say as you hopped up on the sink, dangling your legs off of the edge. You crossed your arms over your chest as the blonde nodded to you before he stripped down to only his boxers. As he walked to check the temperature of the shower you saw the bruises and scars that littered his back, sides, and chest, and you winced. He looked back at you, noticing the look on your face.

“Not used to seeing them anymore, I guess, huh?” He asked quietly. You shook your head at him, tearing your gaze away from the bruises to meet his eyes. “You sure you don’t wanna join me?”

You gulped, shifting your eyes off of him. Honestly, a large part of you wanted to follow him in there and have it be like it was months ago. The other part of you, though, still hurt just thinking of him and burned with rage at the thought of acting as though nothing had happened. “Don’t tempt me, Maybank,” you said quietly while averting your gaze. He nodded softly and pulled off his boxers before stepping in to take his shower. Setting your head in your hands, you exhaled harshly. You were trying to puff out all of your confusion and hurt, and inhaled confidence.

Before you realized what you were doing, you had stripped down to nothing and stepped inside of your shower to join JJ, making him jump slightly when he heard the curtains being pulled.

“Y/N you don’t have to do this, okay? What the hell are you doing?”

“Just let me be here with you JJ, alright? Just let me be happy for a minute. You at least owe me that,” you murmured, pushing his damp hair away from his eyes. The boy nodded at you, his eyes shining brightly as always.

“I owe you way more than that, actually.” You stared at him for a moment, taking in the sight you’d been dreaming of for the past hundred-and-some days. Once your eyes trailed back to meet JJ’s, you turned around to grab the soaps you kept on the shower shelf. Opening one up, you tell JJ to give him your hands before you pour some of the suds into his open palms.

“They haven’t changed since I left,” he says while lathering the soap on to himself. JJ would always use your shampoos and body washes when he stayed over, liking the sweet scent of your soaps rather than the sandalwood option you had purchased for him. You did get rid of that soap, it was about the only thing of his you could bring yourself to throw out. Probably because it wasn’t really his.

You nodded, also scrubbing some of the soap into your hair. He reached out to wipe away some of the suds that were making their way towards your eyes, and it made you grin. JJ dipped his head under the stream of water to wash away the bubbles in his hair before shaking it out. You two did a little swap of places so that you were able to do the same, rinsing the shampoo out before working conditioner into your hair, and twisting it up into a bun. Turning your head to look for the body wash, you see JJ has already grabbed it and poured some out onto a washcloth. He had that damned boyish look in his eye that he always used to have when the two of you were alone together.

Stepping behind you, JJ murmurs into your ear. “I know I owe you for a lot of shit things I did, but can I start with this?” He slid the soapy rag over your stomach, resting it there to wait for your response.

Your head was spinning, and you felt like you were the intoxicated one now. Without thinking, you nodded your head, relaxing your muscles as JJ smoothly moved the rag along the curves of your body. You rested your back against his chest lightly, enjoying the familiar feeling. You could feel JJ’s warm breath against your neck as he washed you, and the realization that this was the most intimate feeling you’d had in months slowly sunk in. You turned your head to look at JJ — He had his lip tucked between his teeth as his eyes shifted to your own. He knew that lip thing was always a turn on for you, even though he wasn’t doing it intentionally this time.

“You okay with this?” He asked with worried eyes, taking his hands off of you.

“Yes, yeah, I’m okay, J. I just missed this,” you sighed, passing a hand over your face. “I missed this more than I thought I did.” You looked away from him, wishing he didn’t move his hands away. “Look, I just don’t want to do this shit and then get hurt again, JJ. You know I loved you, I know you loved me, so why did you leave?”

“Y/N,” he said softly, tilting your head up to look at him. “You’re right, I loved you. I still do. But when I broke up with you, I did it because I was scared. I was scared I’d turn into my father, scared that I didn’t deserve you, scared I’d try and hide things from you like I do with my father,” JJ sighed. “I’m sorry I was so stupid, and I’m sorry that I hurt you. I thought I was doing it because I loved you, and I was saving you from myself. But I was just hurting you. I’m not Luke,” he said while shaking his head, “I won’t let myself be like him. I wouldn’t hurt you, I wouldn’t even think of it. I was running from you because I didn’t think I deserved you. I didn’t believe I deserved you loving me so damn much.” JJ had tears shining in his eyes that matched your own.

“JJ, I sat in my room for months crying over you. I was panicking that you’d be trapped with Luke tonight, I wanted to go find you. I was terrified when you didn’t even say that you were okay,” you whispered, tears tracking down your cheeks. “God, when you came through that door I didn’t know if I was angry or happy. I still love being in your arms, but it makes me so angry to be held by you. I still fucking love you, even though I tried not to.”

Tears slipped out from JJ’s red eyes as he ran his hands through his wet hair. “I still love you too, Y/N. I never stopped. I don’t expect you to take me back — hell, I'd be shocked if you did — but if you want to try again, I want to, too. I want to be better for you.”

You wiped at your eyes, not knowing which drops were from the shower, or which were from your salty tears. You didn’t want to be hurt again, but you knew your heart wouldn’t be whole again unless you were with JJ. You knew he wasn’t Luke. You knew because JJ kissed you sweetly, he talked to you lovingly anytime he got the chance, he held you when your mind was out of control, and he never got angry with you. Of course, you two had had your arguments — but you worked them out together, both of you listening to the other’s concerns and talking out solutions.

“Of course I want you back, JJ.” You shook your head at him and turned the shower off. “But we’re not going to be back at the same place we ended. I have to know I can trust you again. You know that, right?”

JJ nodded at you, sniffling quietly. “I can do that... I can do that, Y/N.” He followed you onto the tiled floor, standing as water dripped off of him with quiet thuds. While you wrapped a towel around yourself and grabbed the other JJ pulled on his sweatpants. You walked over to the boy and draped the towel around his shoulders as he thanked you. JJ gazed adoringly at you, enamored by everything about you. The curve of your lips, the way strands of your hair were pasted to your forehead, the flecks of different colors within your y/e/c irises. He loved the mundane things he could do with you, and he loved the fact that you didn’t step back from him even more.

You cocked your eyebrow at JJ when you notice his staring. His eyes were focused on your lips, and he dipped his head down to level with your own. Your heart fluttered rapidly as your lips met, and it felt like your heart would beat directly out of your chest. His hand slid to cup your cheek, and yours moved to his shoulders. The only thing that mattered to you was JJ’s mouth on yours, and the throbbing pain inside of your head and throughout your body was replaced with a floating feeling. No more pain, just the warmth of JJ’s body enveloping your own. The kiss was soft and effortless — hypnotic, even — and the connection of your lips was reforming the burned bridge that linked you. The sweet scent of your skin made JJ grin and the velvety feel of your skin against his rough fingertips felt familiar; It was everything that he’d been craving for the last few months.

As he swiped his tongue across your lip, you pulled back to rest your forehead against his. His eyes were glittering like ice, as always. The intimacy of the moment felt so perfect, you didn’t want to say anything to ruin it, but you hadn’t gotten any rest all night, and you doubt JJ had either. “JJ, let’s lay down, okay?”

He hummed to you, his grin not faltering. He knew nothing more than kissing would happen tonight, but the thought of just sleeping in the same bed as you made him fidgety. JJ played with the strings on his sweatpants as he waited for you to finish getting dressed, having pulled on his shirt in the meantime. When you called for him to come out to your room he grinned, seeing you sitting on your bed while wearing one of the old tee’s he had left for you. You patted the space on the bed next to you for JJ to lay down with you. Once he walked over and slid under the covers with you, you both laid on your sides to look at each other. You reached for his hand, his fingers lacing with yours as he inspected your small hand enveloped in his.

“You never took that ring off, either,” he mumbled. The cold metal of the ring pressed against your skin, the one with JJ’s initials engraved in it that he had given you for one of your small anniversaries. You saw his matching one on his finger, the black metal had your own initials carved in. You let your gaze fall back on his face, seeing for the first time how tired his eyes were and the darkness underneath them.

“It's weird to lay like this, isn't it?” You asked with a small laugh, dropping JJ’s hand as he cracked a smile and shook his head. He would have slept on a pile of rocks if it meant that he would be close to you. You jumped as the thunder cracked violently and lightning illuminated the room. JJ opened his arms and you crawled over to him, his arms encircling you to hold you against him. Resting your head against his heart, you felt JJ press his lips against your hair and a wave of warmth washed over the both of you.

“I remember just how much you hated storms. I know you could never sleep when they happened,” JJ mumbled to you while tilting his head back to look at your figure, completely relaxed against him in the darkness. You opted to set your chin on his chest to meet his eyes. “Are you glad I came tonight? Or do you hate me even more, now?”

Even in the shadow of midnight, you could still see the sparkle of JJ’s eyes and the outline of his angular cheeks. His eyes searched yours in the second of silence before your response. “I’m so incredibly happy you came, J.” You moved almost imperceptibly, positioning yourself so that your face was slightly above JJ’s while his hands shifted from their previous position down to lay on your hips. You slid your fingertips along his jaw and lowered your lips to meet his as your eyes fluttered closed. JJ kissed you delicately, his lips sliding like velvet against your own. Your hand slid to the back of his head to tangle itself into his golden locks, his lips parting as you did. Butterflies erupted in JJ’s stomach and heat rose to his cheeks — it felt like the first time you had ever kissed him, and his head was dizzy from desire. The two of you laid like that for hours, your mouths moving together carefully, both of you entranced by one another yet again.

Finally, with JJ’s hand locked in yours, your world has stopped crumbling beneath your feet.

~tagging some moots~

@starlightstarkey @starksweasleymain @softstarkey @drewswannabegirl @shawnssongs @hmspxgue @livinglikepogues @jjsredhat @jjsbxtch @jjsmaybcnk @topperthorntons @obx-direction-sos @aesthetic-lyss @jiaraendgame

[razberryyum]

Scumbag System (SVSSS donghua) Episode 10 Thoughts (spoilers)

(covers SVSSS chaps 24 - 26, BC Novels Translations)

And thus the first season of the SVSSS donghua comes to an end...rather weirdly abruptly to be honest, but more on that later. Obviously I love the donghua. It was not perfect, but it still exceeded my expectations. I truly appreciate what they were able to do within their budget constraints and I think they captured the spirit of the source material perfectly, which is really all I hope for when it comes to adaptations.  The writing was strong, the humor hit the spot always (for example, when poor Shizun got motion sickness from sword riding, I guffawed), and they also gave us some of the most beautiful characters I’ve ever seen on screen, especially with Shen Qingqiu, Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge. I really, really hope they release official figurines for them. I’m going to start saving my money now just for that possibility.

Even though their time together in this episode was short, the BingQiu love was definitely strong. They gave them a combo move that was not in the source material: for someone like me who grew up watching Cantonese dramas, two characters who have a combo sword move (”雙劍合璧”!) are usually a couple so I was especially tickled by this addition. I am always thankful to the donghua team for the little Easter Eggs they give us for BingQiu, like the way Binghe's eyes lit up when he sees SQQ... 

or when SQQ touches him...

Once again, for those not in the know, it can easily be interpreted as a disciple just being devoted and filial to his Shizun. But for those of us who have read the novel, of course we know it’s indication of Bingmei falling in love with SQQ. I love how subtle yet significant these little expressions of Binghe’s are, and I hope they continue on with these little touches even in the next season. 

Of course then there are the more obvious gestures, like that HUG:

It lasted for a good 15 seconds and oh my God look at the Binghe’s hand placement!  There was totally nipple groppage happening there! This wasn’t in the book by the way...SQQ didn’t get woozy and Binghe most definitely didn’t have to catch him like some fainting damsel, so we have the donghua team to thank for this wonderful moment of (sexy) physical contact between the two of them. 

The donghua team was also especially generous in this episode since not only did we get some BingQiu love, but we got a pinch of LiuShen and QiJiu love too.

LQG’s eyes were on SQQ the entire time! And then Yue Qingyuan as usual took any opportunity he got to touch his Qingqiu.  So all shippers were fed. Hell, they even threw in some more straight-baiting again so peeps who are watching the show for the “straight” romance between Luo Binghe and his never-to-be-future-wife Qin Wanyue were fed too since the scene where Binghe gives her the handkerchief to wipe away her tears were not in the chapters of the book for this episode, and racking my brain I don’t even think it was in the book, period. I’m trying to remember if that handkerchief even holds any significance but even if it does, it’s all for naught since we know Qin Wanyue is at most just a minor side character. She does pop up again later on but then is mostly forgotten, so...not quite sure what that moment was all about other than to, I don’t know, throw off the censors?

I’m also not sure why we spent so much time with Liu Mingyan and Gongyi Xiao in this episode. Nothing against them personally, I like both characters very much (despite my previous complaints about GYX’s character design), and it’s not that they don’t deserve more screen time, but this was the season finale! Even though the next season has been announced, God knows when we’ll see it next year and how many episodes it would be, so every minute of screen time matters! That’s why I was a bit puzzled that they used up half of the episode showing LMY basically facing the same perils with her group of fellow disciples as before and GYX just running from that huge serpent. Even if that thing DOES turn out to be Zhuzhi-lang, it was still a bit much. They weren’t exactly character building scenes either so...why? Budget reasons? Didn’t have enough money to pay SQQ’s voice actor (Wu Lei-laoshi) so they had to stick in miscellaneous scenes to lessen his screen time? 

I’m kidding of course. God I hope that wasn’t the reason because that would just be sad.

Speaking of miscellaneous scenes though, what was going on with these two dudes?

I gotta admit, I’m a bit salty that these two mob characters got to do what our main couple can’t. What’s their story? Why do they get special privileges? Damn these nobodies. XD

All kidding aside, I have to say, of all the episodes this season, this might be the weakest one, not only because of the “filler” scenes, but also, the way the episode ended was so odd, especially for a season finale. The season basically ended on a scene transition. Not a cliffhanger, just a scene transition, and then cut to credits. What?? Why??? It’s almost as if they just ran out of time so had to stop the show all of a sudden. And then as if to make up for it, they added post-credit scenes which, honestly blew me away because it was so unexpected. It was indeed almost enough to make me completely forgive the weakness of the episode as a whole and that weird-ass ending.

I teared up!  The scene was kind of chopped up, didn’t even flow that smoothly, but I still got emotional! I’m sure when I see this scene in its entirety next season I am just going to be destroyed. I think they made it even more gut-wrenching than it was in the novel. Looks like the donghua team really aren’t gonna hold back when it comes to delivering the BingQiu knives. 

We also got to see Mobei-jun appear in the post-credits scene; I guess they had to stick him in there since he was featured in the poster for this season, so it would have been weird if he didn’t at least make an appearance.

I immediately thought of him as Sephiroth’s younger cousin when I first saw him on the poster and I still feel that way. Anyone related to Sephiroth, I will approve and instantly have affection for. For the MoShang shippers’ sake, I hope the Shang Qinghua they create for him will be just as pretty. I think I can now safely discard my guess from last time and also that moon-faced bearded ojisan others have guessed. We actually got a glimpse of the real deal in this sequence:

They strategically made him blurry so you can’t really make out his features, but what we still can tell from there is that he does not have facial hair (hence, he cannot be the ojisan) and the hair crown he’s wearing is silver and different from the twinky sect leader. So I guess we’ll be getting a fresh out of the microwave Airplane Bro instead of any of the no-name potential cannon fodder we’ve already seen. 

We’ll probably get the abyss opening up in maybe even the first episode of next season but that’ll still leave a lot of ground to be covered in just 10 episodes (rumored). There haven’t been any talk about a third season, but I really hope it’ll happen, even though it might take them a while to make it. I know it’s premature to even think of a third season when we haven’t even gotten an actual release date for the second, but I’m greedy because I already miss the donghua. This season was over so quickly, I’m already mourning the lack of new episodes. I hope we get the second season in the first quarter of next year and then by some miracle, a third or even fourth to properly finish out the story. I know we will never get the FULL story, but as long as they keep the spirit of BingQiu’s love and continue to hint at it like they’ve been doing this season, I will be more than satisfied. 

And while I’m wishful thinking for new seasons, I hope we also get a BingQiu duet and character songs. I love the opening and ending theme this season, if they want to save money I totally don’t mind if they just use the same OP/ED themes in the next season as well, but I hope they throw in a good BingQiu insert song and then release some individual character songs as well. I’m still not a fan of Binghe’s voice, but maybe they can have someone else do his vocals for the songs. SVSSS is the older son of MXTX’s works, I feel like it already got short-shrifted in terms of adaptation since it got the lesser budget compared to MDZS and TGCF. Hopefully with how popular the donghua is this season, it will be given a bigger budget next season so they can bring to life all the subsequent proceedings from the book properly. And whatever they’re paying Wu Lei-laoshi, SQQ’s voice actor, they should double it because that man is just amazing. I worship his voice and performance. I wish he would read the audiobook version of the the novel. I would listen to the hell out of that.  I have always loved SQQ, but if I’m going to be honest, I came into the show just a little more excited about seeing Bingge being brought to life. I still love Binghe of course, in all his phases, however, now,  because of Wu Lei-laoshi’s stellar voice performance (and of course SQQ’s beautiful looks), I’m leaving this season absolutely head over heels about SQQ/Shen Yuan. Also thanks to the show, I’m completely obsessed with Liu Qingge as well.  So for those two reasons, I will eternally be grateful to the donghua team.  

[ultimatebethylficlist]

Veteran Author of The Month: June 2021

The featured veteran author for June is also a co-admin right here at UBFL: SquishyCool (or @im-immortal )!

SquishyCool can be found on AO3 and FFN under the same penname.

When asked what got her into Bethyl and what the fandom means to her, she said:

I’ve been a hardcore TWD fan since the show began airing, but that’s because of my love for zombies. In all honesty, I didn’t really ship anyone for the first 3-4 seasons. I kind of shipped Daryl with Carol, but then it became clear that it was a platonic relationship and in all honesty, I just wanted to see them both get some action lmao. Then the prison fell... and in those first moments of “Still,” when we see Beth and Daryl running and running and finally collapsing on the ground, breathless and exhausted... the butterflies started. Something clicked and I immediately thought, “uh oh.” The rest is history, especially considering how “Still” and “Alone” played out. I can’t explain how or why I’m still so heavily invested, especially considering my last 2 fandoms only kept my attention for about 2-3 years each, but here I am. And I love it! I am so incredibly grateful for the Bethyl fandom because not only has it helped me improve my writing so much more than I ever could have imagined, but it has also introduced me to some of the most amazing people, including someone who I now consider one of my very best friends! It’s my happy place :)

For her personal fic rec list, she recommends:

In The Maw by ronsparkyspeirs

Way Down We Go by LeathernLaces

Surfacing by lindentree

Wild Things (The Moonshine Poet) by Abelina

The Gift by Feliz

The Man Who Can't Be Moved by burningupasun

New Experiences Series by wallflow3r

Whisper Softly to Me by taylorcatherine

Interstice by leftmywingshome

To Love Like a Man by Seraphique

Death, Death (i defy thee) by alamorn

In My Blood by Courtneyshortney82

Let the Good Times Roll by gutsforgarters

Resolved by Allatariel

the weight of these wings by peachthorns

all my spaces are filled with you by annabeth_writes

A Little Jailbreak with the Little Jailbait by wandering_gypsy_feet

between the beginning and the end by sheriffandsteel

SquishyCool’s Works & Personal Thoughts:

Dirty Fingernails and Dried Blood Summary: What happened during the months between "Still" and "Alone"? Beth uses the last pages of her diary to write down every detail of surviving with Daryl. Thoughts: My first Bethyl fanfic. It holds a special place in my heart for that reason, though it is pretty rough. If I could go back, I never would’ve done it entirely in first-person. But I do plan to finish it one day. There are some scenes I’m particularly proud of, and I still have a long note full of ideas and plot points.

Most Wanted Summary: After Beth’s mother and half-brother are murdered in a drug war, the godly veil on the Greene Family operation is lifted, and law enforcement comes down hard. In an effort to protect her family, Beth commits a heinous crime that could mean life in prison alongside them. Now everyone she’s ever trusted is in police custody and her only chance at freedom is to get as far away from Atlanta as she can... Thoughts: Well, this is a must-read if you like my writing. I hope to one day convert this into an original fiction and maybe get it published, but I need to finish it first LOL. I got the idea from ONE scene of “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt,” and from there, it exploded into a huge mystery thriller (with lots of romance and smut). I’m really really proud of it, and I’m scared I’ll fuck it up tbh, so I keep putting off continuing it. But I really need to get back to it because I really want people to see what I have planned! (Also, this fic is the reason @courtneyshortney82​ started talking to me, so that alone is pretty historic lmao)

The Crow’s Song Summary: Beth and Daryl spend a few more days together in the funeral home and come to terms with all they've lost along the way. But soon, they must decide what comes next. Thoughts: This fic... this fucking fic. It took me a full year to write. I made numerous edits. I even got a little depressed while I was writing the last two chapters, and my bf didn’t know why until he read what I’d been writing lol. It’s honestly the Bethyl fic I’ve always wanted to write but just didn’t know how. I’m still really really proud of how it turned out.

Carnival Games Summary: Daryl is a traveling carnival worker and Beth is a barely legal farmer's daughter looking for a night of fun when the carnival comes to town. Thoughts: Omg this fic is so fun!! One of my first Bethyl fics, and one of my first Bethyl smut fics. Short, sweet, a little funny, and a lot hot. I am still impressed with myself on this one, especially considering how much my writing has improved since lol

Breathe. Please. Summary: Beth shows up at the Hilltop. Alive. Daryl can hardly believe his eyes. Until she's lying in his bed, an arm's reach away. And he can hear her inhaling... exhaling... inhaling... Thoughts: Another “fix-it” that I’m proud of. Tbh I didn’t think it was anything all that special, but a lot of readers have said it’s one of their favorites, and some say they reread it regularly, and nothing makes me happier than hearing that, so I am extremely proud.

picking @ scabs Summary: Sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, being with them just isn't right. But what wouldn't you give for it to be right? Can someone like Daryl learn how to swallow his pride and stop repeating the same mistakes over and over? Can someone like Beth learn to fight off her demons and allow him to get close enough to hurt her again? How can they stay away from each other when it's all too easy to fall back into one another? Picking a scab will leave a scar, but they both have so many scars already... what's a few more? Thoughts: This fic is very, very personal for me. It’s like my “therapy” fic. I have poured some of my deepest feelings and struggles into its chapters, and the whole idea that got me to start it was that I wanted to find a way to navigate and cope with ending my 3-year long relationship with my emotionally/mentally/sometimes physically abusive ex. I still have a lot of fond memories from that relationship, but even more so, I have painful memories. Not to mention, going through your early 20s as a woman in the modern day is a fuckin’ trip, so this kind of explores that. It’s really self-indulgent, I think, but I’m really proud of the smut in it. And more than that, I’m proud of the response. I’ve had a few people message me or comment to say that they’ve felt all those things, or have experienced similar things, and it’s really just... relieving. I put my heart and soul out there, and what I got back was “you’re not alone.” So yeah, this fic is special. I wanna finish it soon, but I have to be in A Mood to do so.��

In Toto Corde Summary: Despite a million reasons not to, Beth and Daryl fell in love. Then he made the ultimate sacrifice in order to keep all of his promises. Now, facing unimaginable consequences at the hands of witch hunters, Beth has no choice but to use her powers to bring Daryl back from the dead. "He won't be the same..." Thoughts: I LOVE THIS FIC. I love it so much that I had to rewrite it after like 4 or 5 years. And I already started on a sequel that I really hope I’m able to finish. Though it doesn’t have many hits, and I don’t think many people have read it at all, which I understand since it basically is entirely focused around Daryl being killed. But damn, I’m proud of this one, and it was really fucking fun to write because witch!Beth is just... the best.

risk it all (part 1 of in for a penny, in for a pound) Summary: Daryl Dixon has a pretty decent life, all things considered. He's got his own place. A good dog. A few friends. Even a girlfriend. He keeps himself out of trouble. Until he starts texting Beth Greene. And hell, if he ain't about to risk it all for this damn girl. Thoughts: This was supposed to be one short multichapter fic focused entirely on smut and social media. Then I got on a roll and it ended up being the beginning of a series! This fic is purely fun. Nothing too serious or heavy. I write it when I’m in a Good Mood because it’s my little happy place. I have plans for about 4 more fics before the series will be finished!

Don’t Make Me Haunt You Summary: So here's the thing: Merle Dixon is dead as fuck. And as it turns out, Beth Greene is the only one who can see or hear him. Which is weird considering she's never met or even heard of this guy, let alone anyone with the last name Dixon. That's her first problem... Thoughts: The reception to this fic has absolutely blown me away. I had no idea anyone would want to read about ghost!Merle haunting Beth and forcing her to solve his murder with the help of his grumpy brother. And it was all inspired by an episode of South Park lmao then I started really getting into it and now it’s just like, my super fun fic where I explore a range of emotions and all kinds of religious beliefs and different mythologies and I can build the world however I want and goddamn I just love writing this fic. Plus there’s a podfic for it! I can’t even begin to explain how much I love this fic and how proud I am of it :)

[preciouspeterbparker]

would it be enough?

okay this isn’t edited or anything, but! here’s a little ficlet i started a few months ago and got the inspiration to finish. 

title from & inspired by “peace” by tsweezy (that song makes me cry every time bc i feel like i’m never gonna get my happily ever after lol, so i had to give peter his)

word count: 1.6k

warnings: depression, happy ending, borderline personality disorder, domesticity, discussions of mental health issues

It’s dark in the bathroom. The only light is coming in from the frosted window over the bathtub, scattered beams pouring through the glass of the shower. There are two bodies underneath the rainfall showerhead, wrapped up in each other. 

The taller of the two men pulls away slightly, reaching for a non-descript bottle of shampoo. He squeezes some into his hand, while his partner pumps a blob of body wash on a loofah. Their actions are like a choreographed dance as the smaller of the two tilts his head into the other’s skilled fingers, his own hand moving to lather at the sculpted chest in front of him. 

Peter sighs at the feeling of Tony’s nails scratching at his scalp. He loves moments like this; where it’s just the two of them enjoying each other’s company, forgetting the world outside of the little bubble of peace they’ve created. Running the loofah across the older man’s shoulder and down his bicep, he watches the way the shadows and light drift over the skin. Carefully, he presses the pad of his thumb to the pale, mottled scar tissue covering the center of Tony’s chest where the reactor used to sit, rubbing gentle circles into the skin. It’s smooth to the touch, bare of the greying curls that are smattered from his pecs all the way down to the ‘v’ of his hips. 

He loves this body- its strength, the way it makes him feel protected, the things it can do to his own. Looking up into Tony’s eyes, he thinks of how much he loves the man it belongs to. “I love you,” he says softly, puckering his lips as he’s maneuvered so that his head is under the water once more. 

“I love you more,” Tony replies automatically. “Close your eyes, Pete.” His hands tilt Peter’s head back and he runs his fingers through the foam saturated curls. Once the front is rinsed, he opens his mouth again, “‘kay you can open now.” He takes his time washing all of the remaining suds out as the younger man continues to run the sudsy netting over his skin. 

Next is the apricot scented conditioner that Peter loves. He applies a handful to the dripping auburn locks and rubs the excess into his own salt and pepper hair. Then Tony clocks the way his boyfriend is grinning goofily up at him. It brings a smile to his face as well. “What’s so funny, why’re you smiling at me like that, Pete?”

Peter’s eyes shine as they meet the older man’s. “You’ve got soap on your nose.” He hands Tony the loofah and runs his fingers under the water so that he can reach up to wipe the white foam from the other’s face. “Got it,” he says softly, letting out a quiet sigh as Tony rubs the sudsy loofah over his shoulders. 

Moments like this, as peaceful as they are, are nothing if not effervescent. Even as he stands there under the warm spray, Peter can feel the chill settling deep in his bones and beginning to weigh him down. There’s a knot forming in his chest. He takes a deep breath and tries not to focus on it. He takes in the smell of their bath products, the feel of his big toe bumping against the inside of Tony’s foot. He listens to the sounds of their breathing, the water swirling down the drain. If he ignores the feeling it will go away. 

It doesn’t quite work, and Tony makes a soft questioning sound in the back of his throat and pulls the shorter man a little closer as he rubs the soapy netting in soft circles over the expanse of his back.

Peter lets his forehead rest on Tony’s collar bone. His chest feels- tight. He takes a slow, shuddering breath and tries to calm himself down. He’s starting to get restless, that weird fizzly feeling thrumming in his muscles. “It won’t always be like this, Tony,” he mutters, self-deprecatingly. His arms wrap around his partner’s waist in an attempt to comfort himself. “I’m...I have bad days. So bad sometimes…” He succumbs to the lump in his throat and lets his voice trail off at the end in an attempt to keep it from breaking. His eyes start to burn. He doesn’t mention that he can almost feel one coming on now- 

How did he go from being perfectly happy to feeling like he’s falling apart in the span of a few minutes? It never fails to make him feel ridiculous, how sensitive he is to his own thoughts. If only he could control it, if only he wasn’t so-

Another gentle noise from Tony, who presses a kiss to the shell of his ear. “I know. I love you every day, Peter. Not just when you’re having a good day.” 

Peter lets out a frustrated noise, followed by a shaky sigh. “But...you’re so good, Tony. You’re, you’re normal, and… And I- I’m never gonna be that, I won’t ever really, truly know what that’s like.” And he won’t. Because even on the good days, he’s always aware that it won’t last. Just like the current situation. “There are days where all I can manage is sitting in front of the TV, wrapped in a blanket.” His voice breaks, and the tears that had been stinging at his eyes begin to fall in earnest. “I’ll- I’ll go days without showering because I can’t bring myself to get up long enough to take one, and I’ll put it off until I literally can’t stand it anymore because I stink so bad.” A  soft sob rips its way up from his lungs, his whole body shaking with the force of it. Fuck-

Tony just rinses him off under the water, eyes full of compassion as he wraps his arms around him. “It’s alright baby, I’m listening. I’m here.”

The young man splutters, gasping as he starts up again, voice quiet. “I’ll split on you, there will be days where I’ll forget how much I love you, forget all the good stuff. Even though I know, Tony I know how much you love me, I do, but there will be days where I’ll swear that you don’t, that you never did.” 

He’s not sure why he’s saying all of this. Maybe because they haven’t actually had this conversation. Tony knows about his mental illness, of course, but honestly, Peter had been content to let him do his own research about his condition and what that would mean for them. What he would have to deal with every day for the rest of their lives. He hadn’t wanted the words to come out of his own mouth. He refused to be the catalyst that would force him to watch the love of his life realize that he wasn’t good enough, that he was too reactive, too sensitive. That he was just- too much. In every way. 

Too late for that now.

“I know, baby. Peter, I know all of that. I’m not going anywhere. You being borderline didn’t scare me before we got together, and it doesn’t scare me now.”

And something about that rubs Peter the wrong way. He wants to scream. “But it should, Tony! We’re talking about moving in together and you... You shouldn’t have to deal with my- With my crazy.” He cuts himself off and bites at his wobbling lower lip when he notices the way Tony is looking at him. He looks- hurt, almost. “What?”

Tony’s voice is low. “Don’t you ever call yourself crazy. You’re not crazy. You know what you are? You’re my boyfriend. You’re the most generous person I’ve ever met. You give the most amazing snuggles. You’re sensitive and extremely empathetic, and you always know the right thing to say. You’re helpful. You’re expressive, and in touch with your emotions, which can’t be said about most people. You are beautiful Peter, and so is this brain of yours and everything that comes with it. I wouldn’t change you for the world, okay?” 

He pauses to press their mouths together and looks down at Peter, who stopped crying during his little speech and is now gazing at him with adoration in his eyes. “And baby, I know we aren’t married yet but I mean it- for better or worse, through sickness and in health. Or, uh,” he trails off, suddenly looking a bit shy. “However it goes. You know what I mean.”

Peter blinks up at him, heart fluttering in his chest. He’s disoriented by the sudden surge of serotonin flooding his system. This is exactly what he means, but- “You- You wanna marry me?” A shaky smile takes over his lips at the thought. Forever with Tony. 

Tony chuckles. “Of course I do. Who else is gonna put up with me?” He presses another kiss to Peter’s forehead before dragging him under the water. “Let’s wash this conditioner out, put on some comfy jammies- Ah, yes I know we just woke up- and lay in bed today, hmm? I’ll be big spoon.”

The younger man grins, squeezing his eyes shut as the water cascades down his face. “Sounds like a good deal to me- Hey wait.” He cracks an eye open and squints at Tony. “That wasn’t you proposing, right? Because I think I deserve-”

An affronted noise leaves Tony’s mouth. “You can wash out your own damn conditioner! Who do you take me for? Of course that wasn’t a real proposal- I have standards!”

Peter just laughs as the man’s fingers don’t move from their place in his hair.

That knot is still in his chest but-

The good moments, like this? They’re enough to make everything else worth it.

[pol-writes]

giveaway q&a #2

Any tips and advice for a good story, plot, and characters?

honestly, i'm honored that i may look like a person who has it together to some people, really, because most of the time i just rely on pure vibes when creating something. however, i'll give you some tips that helped me in my creative proccess, while also telling you some stuff about the way i do the things i do.

- don't be afraid to take inspiration from anything. like literally anything. i mean, i don't even know how many books i've read before i came up with the idea for digital drive, and every each of them gave me inspiration to come up with my own story. you can read a book and really like how the characters and relationships are fleshed out in it, so use it as guidelines to flesh out the relationships between your characters. or, where the fight scenes are really awesome — it'll help you to write good action. or maybe there are some really cool easter eggs and foreshadowing, then it can inspire you to do the same in your writing. it's great, isn't it?

- don't be afraid to use popular tropes or cliches, just play it right. there'll always be similiar stories or similiar tropes, but every story has its own originality, no matter what popular tropes are used in it. you can still get creative with them and make your own original twist (for ex. the chosen one is anyone but the protagonist, or the prophecy in your story doesn't actually come true in the end/turns out to be a lie, etc).

- it's little things that can inspire you, really. sometimes it can be a trope, sometimes it can be a character, sometimes it can be just one line from a book, a song, a movie, or just something that you heard someone say on the street. sometimes i can read some quote and go "damn, that'd fit awesome in some scene", and then i can come up with a whole scene revolving around that one line that just sounded neat.

- read, watch, or play something of the genre of the story you want to write. (but you probably know this yourself already, i'm just bad at giving tips)

- ask for feedback! asking other people's opinions can sometimes be important, especially if the topic in question is sensitive, but even if it's not, it's still good to ask for opinion on the matter if you're not quite sure about it. i still sometimes ask my friend something like "what would you do in this kind of situation?" and stuff like this.

- sometimes i struggled with the fact that my characters turned out something different than what i planned them to be. it just kind of happened that when i was writing, i understood that what i wrote was not what i had in mind, but it turned out to be more fitting than the original idea. i don't know if you get what i'm talking about, but sometimes a character can take over you and you just have to follow your intuition with this. the outcome can be amazing, honestly.

- i use the tactic "what i would do if i was them?" a lot, especially if i have something in common with the character (s/o to balzac). if one of my characters is a complete opposite of myself, or i'm struggling with understanding their presumed way of thinking and i can't put myself in their place, then i go and bug someone who resembles them and i feel like their opinion would really fit the character. it's a good move, really. i've also seen people make whole q&a lists for their characters to flesh them out. i personally don't use this method, but it can be really helpful to some. i just usually have this really specific vibe in my head and then i push off of it. or, i may come up with character's appearance first, their occupation, or their relation to the protagonist, and then go forward with it.

- find songs that resonate with you characters, make an aesthetic board for them — it can be helpful, really. try to get into their head. maybe try to take a personality test from their pov, or browse some archetypes and personality types. i can tell you a story about myself, i know it can be silly, but hear me out. at some point of my life, i was obsessed with alice in wonderland and its archetypes. i'd play novels or explore some other kinds of media that used this theme and archetypes. and even now, i still go back to this and use these archetypes myself. it really helps me, i don't know why.

‐ and finally — research is your best friend. though even if it's important, don't stop there. ask people, tell your friends, ask what they think, bug random people as i do, or maybe don't.

i hope at least something from all this dump of text will be helpful for people who want to tell their own story and don't know how to start. and just be yourself, you know. take breaks, know your limits, don't push yourself, and don't be afraid to reach out for help 💜

[theisaacking]

So this is it...

While some of you will undoubtedly know this, I hope those of you who do will forgive me as I reiterate: It has always been my intention that once the plot of Luxor Season 2 reached its conclusion, and the summer was finished, I would be officially retiring from group rping on tumblr. This means that all of you here were a part of the conclusion of what has been a 7+ year journey for me; and really, I don’t think I could have chosen a better place to end off.

I never really thought there would come a day when I could walk away from rp groups on tumblr and feel a sense of peace. I really did think for a long time that this was something I would never be able to let go of. I thought that I would always be chasing some sense of fulfillment that comes from doing this. There really isn’t anything else quite like it, and that honestly made me feel like it would be impossible to say goodbye. And truthfully, that was frustrating, because as much as I have loved this, it takes up so much of my time, and my energy, and as the years have wore on, I’ve wanted to be able to use that energy for different things. I guess all I really needed to find that peace though, was the perfect swan song, and that’s what this experience with all of you has been for me.

Certainly not everything went the way I planned when it comes to the ending itself. I’ve been insanely busy with prepping myself to move throughout the entirety of this summer, and I wasn’t around even 1/100th as much as I wanted to be. There are so many things that I had hoped to do with my characters before the end, and before I said my goodbyes to all of you and yours, that I simply wasn’t able to do. I’m sad that I wasn’t able to bring Christopher back before the end, and have all of the fun that would have come with that. I’m sad that I didn’t get to fully explore Isaac’s increasing delusion surrounding Alek and his hope that she would be coming back for him. But if there is one thing that I’ve learned in the 7 years that I’ve been doing this, it’s that things rarely pan out exactly how you think they will. Sometimes, like this time, that’s a byproduct of situations outside of our control, while other times, it’s the result of our characters being assholes who have minds of their own. 

So yeah, maybe things didn’t end exactly how I wanted them to, but I am glad that they ended here. I’m glad that as I sit here on the second last day of August, that when September 1st comes, this chapter of my life will be closed, and it will have ended with the best group that I have ever had the privilege of being a part of. I’m glad that before all was said and done, I got to experience all of your wonderful characters, and see them grow and change as life happened to them. I’m glad that I made friends along the way, and I’m glad that people who were there at the very start of my journey 7 years ago were so instrumental in creating a perfect conclusion for me by making this group. There really is no shortage of things that I’m glad about, because this rp has been an amazing experience for me from start to finish.

To Christopher: my sweet Taurus son, I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to find the time to bring you back and give the send off that you truly deserved. Please know that it’s not because I didn’t want to, or that I don’t love you with all of my heart. Thank you for being the easiest character that I have ever had the joy of writing, and really, for being everything that I wish I myself was. Ultimately, I know that this isn’t a true goodbye, but Luxor is where you were born, and as we leave it behind and start the next chapter, I feel it pertinent to tell you how much you mean to me, and how glad I am that you came along before I reached the conclusion of this journey.

To Isaac: KING. It’s more than just your last name, it’s what you are, and while I’m sure telling you that is the last thing that your ego needs, I don’t care. I am so fucking glad that we’ve been together for as long as we have. Never in this 7 year journey did I write a character consistently for as long as I have written you. It has not always been easy my man; you’ve been known to be exhausting for me to write sometimes. But that doesn’t matter, because I wouldn’t change a thing about the way that you are. If Christopher is everything that I wish I myself was, then you are everything that I know I could never ever be, and I am so damn grateful that you allowed me to have the chance to see life through your eyes. Like I said to Christopher, this isn’t the end my man; this is just the start of something new.

To Nora: Holy cow, what a trip. If someone had told me 7 years ago that I would have joined a tumblr group, made a friend, and still been friends with that person 7 years later, I would have thought they were insane. Yet here we are. I don’t tell you this nearly often enough, but I’m very glad that when that group closed, that wasn’t the end of our time writing together. Who really could have envisioned that it would actually be only the beginning of it? Our writing partnership has officially outlasted my tenure in the tumblr rpc. Here’s to another 7 years of writing together!

To Mimi: Bro, what can I say that hasn’t already been said? You’re my best friend. You introduced me to the world of tumblr rping, and for basically every major milestone since then, you’ve been there; in both life and in rp. I could gush for hours about our friendship outside of this, but for the sake of keeping things topical, I’ll just focus on it within this. I never ever would have started this crazy journey without you, and I cannot even begin to express how thankful I am that you gave me that first push. i also cannot express the joy that it brings me that you were not only here for the end, but along with Nora, created the space that gave me my perfect place to end on a high note. There is something distinctly poetic about the fact that I needed rp in my life at the time that you introduced me to it, and that I also needed this place in order to finally be able to close this chapter, and you created it. in essence, you gave me my beginning when I needed it, and you gave me my ending when I needed it. I’ll never be able to thank you enough for that.

To you: Yes YOU. The person who is still reading this. First off, if you’ve read this far, then thank you, and (maybe?) I’m sorry lol. It really doesn’t matter which of the countless members that Luxor has that you are, because I can say with certainty that no matter who you are, I love you, and I’m so glad that I got to be here with you. Every mun, and every character has touched me in one way or another, even if you might not necessarily know it. I see things in my regular, every day life, and these things remind me of these characters, and the people behind them, the same way that you might be reminded of a person you know in real life. I will carry you, and your wonderful muses with me in my heart as I take my steps into the next chapter. And just know, that if you ever find yourself wondering if good ol’ Peanut would want to hear from you, the answer is, and will always be, yes. Thank you for being a part of what has made the final pages of this great chapter the most riveting, thrilling, and satisfying that any person could ever hope for.

With all of my love,

Peanut/Dustin

[beelsnack]

Obey Me! Boys and the Hidden Talent You Wouldn’t Expect Them To Have

Lucifer: Honestly, they had thought it was just for decoration.

Considering how little the brothers actually used anything in the music room, they had just assumed most of the instruments in there were just for show. The only reason they were proved wrong was by sheer accident.

Their insomnia had been a hindrance back in the human realm, but now that the constant darkness of the Devildom had taken a hammer to their circadian rhythm, they found themselves wandering the halls of the House of Lamentation more and more frequently in the middle of the night. While they knew they weren’t the only one awake at this hour (they had made the mistake of wandering too close to Asmo’s room and discovered that his nights were very active) they typically were the only one out of their room.

It was their second pass around the first floor when they heard it. A faint, unfamiliar melody ringing softly down the hall. Before they realized what they were doing, their feet had brought them to the music room. When they peeked through the doorway, the sight made them freeze.

Lucifer was seated on a bench, eyes closed in an uncharacteristically serene expression. The soft candlelight shone behind him, making him look every bit like the angel he once was as his long, graceful fingers plucked skillfully at the strings of the harp. The song was hauntingly beautiful, much like Lucifer himself, and something about it made the human’s breath catch in their throat.

They hadn’t thought they made a noise, but demon hearing was something else. Lucifer’s eyes snapped open, hands halting over the strings as the two of them made eye contact. 

At first, it seemed like Lucifer was preparing to scold them, and they felt themself reflexively tensing. Instead, Lucifer’s expression softened.

“You should be in bed.” his voice betrayed how tired he was, even if he appeared just fine.

“I couldn’t sleep.” they murmured. Speaking too loudly might break the spell, and this gentle illusion would shatter.

“Hm.” he motioned them forward, patting the spot next to him. The bench was small enough to when they sat down, they were shoulder-to-shoulder with Lucifer. “I couldn’t sleep either.”

“I didn’t know you could play the harp.” they blurted out. Lucifer, caught off guard by their bluntness, stared down at them for a moment before sighing. A nostalgic smile pulled at his lips, and they found themself wishing he would smile like that more often. 

“A skill left over from the Celestial Realm. Playing always put me at ease.”

“Will you keep playing for me?”

He chuckled softly. “Of course. Shall I play a lullaby for the two of us?”

Mammon: “Are we done studying yet? This sucks!”

They didn’t even bother looking up from their textbook. Mammon had done more complaining than studying at this point, and they were honestly too worked up about passing this test tomorrow to worry about entertaining him.

“You can be done if you want, I’m going to keep going.” they mumbled. They talked big, but they had been reading the same sentence over and over again without taking in a single letter. They knew that it wasn’t really helping, but they were convinced that if they didn’t spend every last second studying the material, they were going to fail spectacularly. Honestly, after one semester of Potions, they were never going to complain about chemistry every again.

“You’re gonna ruin your eyes, at this rate.”

They nearly jumped out of their skin. When had Mammon gotten up? How had he gotten behind them without them noticing? Shit, maybe they did need to give it a rest.

“Alright, alright,” they sighed. “I’m not retaining any of this stuff anymore anyway - ow, fuck!” 

“What’s wrong?” Mammon sounded unnecessarily terrified, the big worrier.

“Nothing, nothing, sorry.” they brought a hand up to the back of their neck. “Been hunched over for too long, my neck and shoulders are mad at me.”

“Damn, human, you had me thinkin’ you were dyin’ or something.” he breathed out. “Here.”

“What are - “ they cut themselves off as Mammon’s warm hands settled on their shoulders. His thumbs worked soothing circles on the column of their neck before sliding down to work on their shoulder blades.

They felt their eyes slipping close without their consent. “Holy shit, Mammon.” they probably should be a bit more concerned with how breathy their voice sounded, but he was working wonders on their stiff muscles.

He knew just how much pressure to apply, just how to move his hands. The warmth of his palms seeped through their shirt, and they let out a sigh that might have sounded a bit like a moan.

“Hey, you can’t go makin’ those noises while I’m doin’ this.” his voice had gone just a bit lower. “You’re gonna make it awkward.”

“Sorry.” they muttered. “But you’re really good at this. You should open up a massage parlor. You would make a killing.”

“Heh, I thought about it.” he pulled his hands away, and they almost whined at the loss of contact. “But I don’t want to have to rub my hands over some crusty old bastard.”

“Oh well,” they shrugged. “Guess I’ll have to just keep you to myself then.”

Leviathan: “Hey, normie, open up!”

They considered ignoring him in favor of finishing up this very intense Pokemon battle, but it was pretty rare that Levi came to their room without texting them first. With a sigh, they shut their DS and hopped off of their bed to let him in.

“What’s up?” they leaned against the doorway.

“Didn’t you hear? That new MMO is having an exclusive pre-release event. Only the first 300 can get in! Go get set up, people have been talking about this new totally OP armor they’re going to - “

Levi cut himself, peering over their shoulder and wrinkling his nose. “What’s that?”

At first, they thought he was talking about their DS, but when they looked behind them, they realized what he meant.

“Ah, yeah.” the walked over to their bed and picked up the old stuffed dragon toy. They creadled him gently to their chest and frowned a little. “He got a little roughed up on his way to the Devildom. I had to get creative.”

The toy was clearly well loved, but the real attention-grabber was the piece of duct tape holding its front left leg to the rest of it. Little bits of fluff could be seen beneath the tape and it was clear that the repair job wasn’t going to last for much longer.

Leviathan clicked his tongue. “That’s never going to hold. Bring him over after the event tonight.”

“Why?” the human tilted their head, clutching the dragon tighter like they were afraid Levi was going to mercy-kill him.

“I’m going to fix him for you, duh.” there was a faint dusting of pink high on his cheekbones, and he looked away quickly. “I don’t like to bring my sewing stuff out of my room, I’ll lose it for sure.”

“You can sew?” they sounded incredulous. “Since when?”

“Th-there was a contest a while back. Whoever made the best TSL cosplay got to have a meet and greet with the cast of the movie.” Levi looked like he was about to catch fire now. “Of-of course, I couldn’t just go buy stuff, everyone knows the handmade stuff is better, so I learned how to sew.”

“Levi, that’s amazing!”

Levi blinked. “I-It is?”

“Duh!” they beamed up at him. “I could never do anything like that! I definitely owe you one if you can fix him up for me!”

“It’s not that big of a deal,” he muttered, staring down at his feet. How was he supposed to handle getting compliments like that?

“It is!” they placed their toy back on their bed in favor of wrapping their arms around Levi’s middle. “Thank you so much!”

“Whoa, hey! You can’t just d-do that all of a sudden!”

Satan: They quite enjoyed their study dates with Satan. The two of them could sit in amiable silence for hours and just focus on getting their work done. It was peaceful, and Satan never minded if they took a rest on his shoulder

As they struggled to keep their eyes open (a coffee break might be in order soon) they caught sight of something in the margins of Satan’s notebook.

It started as idle pencil marks in the corner of the page. Little spirals that slowly transformed into vines  winding their way down the side. Delicate little flowers soon began to bloom at random intervals until finally, in the bottom corner, Satan was in the middle of doodling a lotus flower.

“That’s so pretty.” they felt Satan jump as they broke the silence.

“What?” he blinked, refocusing. “Oh. Sometimes I don’t even realize I’m doing it.”

“I should have known you were a doodler.” they laughed. “I read somewhere that people who doodle in class actually retain more information.”

“Is that right?” Satan muttered, more to himself than anything. “That explains my notes in class. I wonder if there’s a reason I enjoy drawing outside of a learning environment?”

They nudged him before he got too deep in his own thoughts. “You’re allowed to just have a hobby, Satan. There’s no need to psychoanalyze it so much.”

Asmo: When they had admitted that they had never gotten their nails done, Asmo had wasted no time in whisking them away to his room. He insisted that everyone should have a manicure at least once in their life, sat them down on the chaise lounge in his bedroom and set to work.

Admittedly, they probably should be taking care of their nails better, and it was nice to have someone pamper them a little bit. They hadn’t really been expecting the hand massage at the end.

“Oh, you have earth hands, darling.” Asmo said as he worked his thumb into the center of their palm. “Reliable, stubborn, practical. Fits you to a T!”

“Huh?”

Asmo ignored them, continuing to analyze their hand. “Your love line starts under your index finger. Well, with seven partners, I should hope you’re content with your love life.”

“Asmo, what the hell?”

“Hm? Oh, sorry, darling.” Asmo laughed, tracing his finger in a circle in the center of their hand. “I suppose I should ask before I read your palm.”

“Is that what that was?” they asked. “I didn’t know you could do that.”

“Mm, there’s plenty of things I can do, my dear.” he practically purred. “An old lover of mine was a practiced chiromancer. I always thought it was fascinating, being able to read a person just by the lines on their hands, so I had them teach me. If nothing else, it’s a neat party trick.”

“Wow...” the human murmured, staring at their hand. “What else can you tell?”

Beelzebub and Belphegor: It had been decided long ago that Beel could not be trusted with cooking duty on his own. So the twins always had joint cooking duty.

It had also been decided that Belphegor couldn’t be trusted with waking up for cooking duty, so Lucifer tacked the human on as well.

None of them particularly minded it. Well, Belphie minded it a little, seeing as Beel had to literally fireman carry him to the kitchen. But all three of them worked well as a team.

It wasn’t terribly uncommon for Beel to hum to himself when he cooked. The kitchen was his element, and cooking always seemed to put him in a cheerful mood. It was uncommon, however, for Belphie to join in.

They hadn’t really been paying attention, simply registering the twins as background noise while they focused on their task. But soon, Beel’s humming turned to lyrics in a language that the human didn’t understand, but sent a shiver up their spine anyway.

Beel sang in a smooth baritone voice that they could feel thrumming through their chest. The human found themself closing their eyes and listening, nearly forgetting that they were supposed to be chopping up mandrake root.

They almost chopped their finger off when Belphie joined in.

When they turned around, the twins had their backs facing either other, but they had paused in their work. Both of them wore identical expressions of nostalgia - eyes closed, lips tugged upwards in a soft smile. Belphie’s soft, clear tenor mixed with Beel’s low timbre, and, despite not understanding a single word, the human felt goosebumps rise up their arms.

When they finished the song, the twins opened their eyes and looked at each other over their shoulder. Beel honestly looked like he was going to cry out of sheer joy. 

“It’s been a while since we sang together.” Beel grinned.

“At least a century.” Belphie nodded, shaking his head. “I’m surprised my voice hasn’t broken.”

“I feel like I’m intruding on a family moment, here.” the human muttered. They honestly hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but by the time they realized, it was too late. The twins had turned their gazes on them like they had just stood on the table and started screaming.

“What’re you talking about?” Belphie drawled.

“You are family.” Beel smiled, crossing the kitchen in three strides to ruffle their hair. “So you can’t be intruding.”

They stuck their tongue out at Beel, ducking out from underneath his hand. “Can you two teach me that song?”