#and the green lantern corps *are* a police force so they’re not even that wrong

[innocentartery]

sorry this topic grates me a lot but imagine calling the most explicitly liberal character of all time a leftist or a republican 💀

[therealeagal]

Science! viz a viz fiction.

This is just going to be aimless rambling about nothing important and possibly stupid. I don’t have any significant points to make. Take ‘em or leave ‘em as the kids are saying these days.

Ah, science. The OG wet blanket.

Lightning falling from the sky? It’s not due to Zeus being angry. It’s due to negatively charged ions or whatever the shit. I don’t know how lightning works but science nerds do.

Things that aren’t scientifically possible are usually more interesting.

Speaking purely with regards to the realm of fiction, of course. Oprah knows we’ve got enough problems in the real world without people ignoring real science. Keep up the good work, all you real science folks.

But yeah. Just seems to me like it more often than not just makes stories less interesting.

Once upon a time zombies roamed the earth because there was no more room in Hell.

Then some fool came along and decided that it was actually because these people called the Umbrella Corporation made a virus. Fuck you, Albert Wesker. Whatever. Genetic engineering in fiction is basically magic anyway.

It’s fine.

Then they decided that wasn’t enough so it was actually mutant wasps or some shit. Fuck you, Frank West. But at least everyone was clear on the fact that they were actually zombies. Not Geeks. Not Freakers. Not Walkers. Not Biters. Not Roamers. Not Rotters. Not THE INFECTED. They were goddamn zombies.

It’s fine.

Then this one jag-off decided zombies are dumb and boring and he's edgy and original so THE INFECTED are actually just being controlled by cordyceps fungus which is a real life fungus that turns bugs into THE INFECTED. This is a plausible explanation for THE INFECTED. They’re called THE INFECTED because they’re not actually zombies. They’re THE INFECTED.

And everyone has been slobbering all over him ever since. Did I miss any intermediate steps?

This post isn’t about zombies.

You ever seen some jag-off try and use science to explain why you don’t want superpowers? In the process ignoring facts that don’t suit the conclusion they want to reach.

How fast can Green Lantern fly?

The correct answer is “faster than the speed of light”.

I don’t claim to be any great expert of the minutiae of Green Lantern lore, but last I checked the Green Lantern Corps is an interstellar police force.

The observable universe has an estimated diameter of 93 billion light-years. Multiply that by lemon meringue to get the circumference. Then divide it by 3600 to account for all the space sectors.

Someone do that math for me. I bet it’s a really big number.

Long story short, they're really fuckin’ fast.

“Oh, but it’s not scientifically possible to exceed the speed of light, so we’re just going to throw that answer right out the window and calculate his top speed based on wind-speed and terminal velocity and other science-y sounding hokum. And that’s why you wouldn’t actually want super speed. Just think of all the bugs you would swallow if you could move that fast! In space! Space bugs!”

Seems unscientific to me.

Stick to real science and let the fake science be fake, you plebs. We need more people doing real science instead of jerking off to how smart they think they are for proving how unscientific it is for Superman to fly.

And don’t EVEN get me started on the armchair psychologists who have it in for superheroes being actually good people. Fuck you, Mark Waid.

In closing, everyone who disagrees with me is wrong and needs to stop. That is all.

Oh, P.S. Happy new year, my children! First post of the new year. Isn’t it a beaut?