#and the small character crumbs from the Q&A

[snowyh2o]

More late night thoughts on Hazbin Hotel Episode 5:

It’s kinda funny to me, how when episode 5 first dropped everyone in the Alastor tag were freaking out over how horrible a person he was to be treating Husk like that and that he and Valentino were exactly the same or that if this is how he treats Husk imagine how he treats his other friends/Nifty!

But my first thought, my gut reaction, was ALASTOR’S ON A LEASH?! And Wow, what a loss of control there pal.

Because Alastor’s a character who, at his core, likes to be in control. Of himself, his reactions, and the situations he finds himself in. He has a pathological need to always be smiling because it gives him a sense of control over himself and projects the idea to others that nothing bothers him and everything is always going his way.

So to lose that composure, that act so completely in front of Husk? Because of one little comment? And show exactly how much that little taunt had affected him?

That was the thing that stuck out to me. Not his treatment of Husk or their relationship. Because that was a little snippet into Alastor’s head, how he ticks, how he reacts, what sets him off.

It’s very very telling how afterwards he acts like nothing is wrong, like he hadn’t just threatened to tear Husk’s soul apart and broadcast his screams across hell. He even plays a little jaunty tune, forces levity into the situation, and pretends like there’s nothing wrong. It’s clear he’s clamping down on his emotions, and taking back control of the situation, of himself, by doing that. Like taking a deep breath after a sudden rush of intense uncontrolled emotion.

Because in a way it’s almost, embarrassing? To lose control like that, especially towards someone who’s soul he outright owns. Usually when people get on his nerves (and he thinks he can get away with it), he taunts them, mocks them, and treats them condescendingly until they take themselves out in anger, or the conversation shifts away from the topic that had him on edge. (And he tries that with Husk at first, except Husk is too perceptive and not afraid to call someone out on their bullshit.)

So for Alastor to feel like he’d lost control of the situation so much that he’d grasp at it by forcibly reminding Husk how he controls his soul is just, wow. Reminding himself of the control he has on someone else’s soul to forget he’s lost control of his own soul. Dude REALLY doesn’t have it all together as he’d like for others to believe.

Anyways, stream of consciousness thoughts. But all this to say that I’m like, 99% sure Alastor’s a little in over his head? With whatever the fucks going on with his “leash”. And he’s very desperately trying to pretend that Everything is Fine even when it’s Clearly Not.

[pastel-medic]

My name is Xed/Pastel ^v^ (He/Xe/They)! I am 24 years old and any other art accts will likely have the username pastelxapple if you want to find me on other platforms!

Medicsona:

Mercenary Intros

Full Refs:

RED Team:

BLU Team:

Gentlesurgery Ship 💜:

Roulette Class AU:

Blog intro, tags, & rules ⬇️

Ko-fi (sketch comms):

Strawpage:

Tags:

#my art (or #xed art) - My art tag! You can find my artwork directly with this tag 🐍✨

#ask box - All replies to my inbox are tagged with this! It comprises mostly of Q&As of my mercs or other characters, art requests, and other questions!

#roulette class au (or #tf2 roulette class au) - This is the tag for my TF2 AU, the Roulette Class AU! The long and short of it is I swapped all of the mercenaries' classes and there's major differences in the lore.

#quixote - My gentlesurgery ship tag! So not to confuse my ship with RED Medic and VLT Spy from the usual gentlesurgery ship you can find their content separate from that with this tag!

#medic brothers - This tag is specifically for my Medic Brothers (Fritz and Ludwig), so any art and lore for them are tagged with this!

#lore crumbs 🍰 - Small pieces of art and/or posts about my ocs or AUs! 👏🏼✨ I try to tag posts with any info or headcanons about my characters/AUs ^^

#shortcake medic - Tag used for any art I make of my Medicsona, Shortcake Medic! 🍰💖

#tsu art - (or #twin art) - Art tag for my twin's artwork 🦊 (@/hoshi-tsubasa )! I love sharing her work and she deserves more praise for it! ^v^✨ Yes she is a furry so be kind!!!

#moot art 💖 - Art tag for my artist mutuals! I love to share their work so I keep this tagged to their stuff so I can find it again (cuz I'm dumb and don't wanna scroll through reblogs for eternity)

#other artists (or #reblog) - This is the tag I use when I reblog other amazing artists' work!

General Info:

I've technically been in the TF2 community for more than 6 years but I just recently got back into it as of 2024!

Pr0shipper/“problematic” accounts DNI!!! I will block you >:(((

@/hoshi-tsubasa is my twin! Her art is just as incredible so go check her out too if you'd like! She also draws TF2 stuff here and there, plus she has some TF2 merch you can check out on her redbubble!

My main ship is Gentlesurgery, which I draw quite a lot! If that ship is not your cup of tea I kindly suggest to be polite and just move on, harassment and hate will not be tolerated here. I also have other favorite TF2 ships that I don't have listed above in the "Meet The Artist" template that I may draw from time to time! However, please be mindful that I don't really draw HeavyMedic (Red Oktoberfest), MedicScout (Quickfix/Blunt Trauma), or SniperScout (SpeedingBullet) ships, as those are not ships I'm particularly fond of compared to others (MedicScout cuz as a passionate MedicSpy shipper it just feels uncomfy for me) ;3; very sorry! (ALSO ABSOLUTELY NO SPYSCOUT GET OUT OF HERE WITH THAT DISGUSTING STUFF) I do like most TF2 ships tho (I especially love all Spy ships)! 💖

Please be aware I likely will not draw nsfw! There may be suggestive art tho from time to time :3c Some things will be tagged with tw if needed!

Also please do not tag my art with ship tags unless I have them put under my art! I am not comfortable with certain dynamics being labeled as ships, especially if the dynamic is not meant to be in any form romantic/sexual ;;

My hyperfixations do shift so I may hop from one media to another or draw crossovers! I will usually post my other non-TF2 art on my instagram, but all TF2 content will be here!

In addition, please be aware I have ADHD and an alter system (DID), so please note that I may go silent with posts every once in a while. My mental health is not a subject I care to make front and center here, so I prefer any questions or topics of such be kept private! Thank you! 💖

If you can I encourage you to reblog my artwork if you like it! Traction on tumblr is very different than on other social sites like twitter and tiktok, so it would mean a lot to me if you could share my art! 🥺💌 I'm deeply humbled if you enjoy my content, thank you!

Ask Box Rules:

This is a 16+ ask blog, so if you wanna ask me or my version of the mercs something pls feel free! Anon questions will be turned on and off from time to time, but if people completely abuse it or things get out of hand I will shut them off permanently ;3; Also please respect that there's a limit for how much you can ask of me, I won't consistently draw the same thing over and over if it's asked for like more than 3 times (especially by the same person)!

Also, if I do not respond to your ask, it may be because I am either uncomfortable with the ask, am unsure how to respond, or simply do not feel that it is an ask that needs to be posted. I am also NOT an rp blog so I will not respond to rp-like asks. Please respect this, thank you!

Please be respectful! I have major anxiety and communication/socializing is difficult for me, so I may not engage in conversations much ;0; I do get super nervous with parasocial behavior!!! I will do my best to respond to my inbox so please be patient with me 💌

Fanart/Art Rules:

Art Trades are for mutuals only! I rarely do them but think they're fun! Also will only do an art trade if the level of art quality and skill is the similar to my own, thank you! 💖

This isn't entirely an art request blog but depending on the question in the ask box I might doodle something if I'm interested enough! 🍰✨ I don't really draw ship requests often tho! ;3; Might do some that I like but depends!

I don't mind fanart! If you'd like to make fanart for me please tag me so I can see your lovely work! However pls don't draw my ocs or version (aus included) of the mercs inappropriately or in ships I otherwise am not comfortable with, as they already have pre-established relationships ;; Also please do not misinterpret/take creative liberties with my Medicsona (Shortcake Medic) specifically, as he is my personal sona and I am more sensitive about art of him! He is not an oc, he is a sona, so I am uncomfortable with misinterpretations and/or nsfw art of him. If you are unsure about anything please ask me first, I am very firm and particular about him! Thank you!!! 💖🍰

If you want to use my art as a profile pic please ask me first!!! DO NOT REPOST OR EDIT MY ARTWORK!!!!

[ohheyaghost]

JUICES JUICES DEAREST JUICES I MUST BE INFORMED OF JUICE ANON ........ (a leeetle bit biased)

ALRIGHT SMALL JUICE YAP TIME!!

(YES IM ANSWERING STUFF EARLY ITS MY Q&A EVENT I CAN DO WHAT I WANT‼️‼️)

Now, I originally chose the 🧃 anon tag for them because that’s my splashtag name and my tumblr title on my profile. I never really had juice be an actual character until as of recent! I don’t have much of a story for them, but here’s some crumbs for you!

They main the splatana wiper and are a professional rainmaker player

they left the big leagues of anarchy modes after an injury via other team having modified weapons

this eventually led them down the spiral of hiding away from people and murder

they have two versions! The real big man version and the ghost story (aka my ocs) version. The real big man version is mainly for you as the creator to decide stuff while my version they go down the spiral of learning about humans

very obsessed with humans and has secretly ventured down to alterna to learn more about them

That’s all I got for you for now bepis, hope you enjoyed the first enstallment of my qna yap session >:]

[anonquack]

| And Me? |

Alex Quackity x Reader, Oneshot!

Word Count: 2262

Warnings: None! Just some curse words.

Summary: Seeing how much time you've been spending with Bad recently just doesn't sit well with Quackity, and he's going to make sure your attention is returned back to where it belongs. With him.

You had been messing around with what was coined the "Feral Boys" on a Saturday afternoon. Your takeout order was placed on your desk, neglected by the loud clicking and tapping of your keyboard. You all had been throwing around random stream ideas, which proceeded to be bashed by everyone.

"Guys," Dream groaned, frustration clear in his tone yet there was still that softness that let everyone know he wasn't actually mad, "we've been on call for 2 hours and still have no stream ideas we like."

"Maybe if Sapnap didn't complain about everything." Karl quickly quipped in, the grin that was probably plastered onto his face was visible to you even with it just being voice chat.

Sapnap clapped back just as quickly, a little more edge to his words but just the right amount of teasing too.

"Yeah? Nothing works with your schedule. We gotta fit these ideas in with your Mr. Beast-filled schedule."

Quackity let out a laugh that made you roll your eyes yet smile fondly as you finally turned to look at your food, taking a bite as the call jumped right back into their previous banter, a helpless Dream trying to regain control and get everyone to work together.

It served as background noise as you quietly ate your food, inputting or agreeing with someone here and there, your stomach grateful to finally be getting some food. You'd been too busy earlier, and now you had the chance to eat and relax on call with friends. No actual streaming or anything, but still with the burden of coming up with new and fun stream ideas.

As you took yet another bite, your gaze fell onto your phone as the screen lit up, a notification coming through. You set your food down and grabbed the device, clicking on it and smiling once you saw it was a message from Bad.

Unlike whatever mess this call was, you had scheduled to record a video with Bad, and you assumed this message was to confirm that he was now available to film. After quickly reading it, your assumptions were proven right.

"Hey, Bad just texted. I'm gonna head out. Try not to think too hard while I'm gone, okay?" You said as you grabbed ahold of your mouse again, cursor going towards the disconnect button.

There was a mix of 'Bye!' and 'You think of some too, then!' and Sapnap's backhanded remarks that told you he would indeed miss you. You smiled, about to click disconnect before he spoke up.

"Bad? What are you recording with Bad?" The question caught you off guard, not because it came from Quackity but because no one had asked.

"Oh, well, just for a youtube video.. and I promised him we'd chat since I miss him." You admitted, cursor dancing across the screen as you waited for a response, if there was to be any.

"How come we didn't get invited?" Quackity asked, voice a mix of feigned hurt and disbelief of being 'left out'.

You playfully rolled your eyes, noticing a message come in from Bad yet again asking if he could call now. "You spend enough time with Bad as it is. Get in line, right now its MY turn. Now bye!! Seriously." You chuckled, hearing the start of a protest before disconnecting from the call and moving your cursor onto Bad's chat, quickly pressing the call button and waiting to hear his sweet voice ringing through your headphones.

—

As the small ping notified everyone else in the call that you had disconnected, Quackity let out a small huff, followed by George's small laugh.

"What was that?"

"What was what?" Quackity replied with a tired tone, fingers lazily typing up some email he had been procrastinating on.

"Was that jealously I smelled, Big Q?" Karl teased, letting out a laugh that was so contagious, eliciting laughs from the whole call, even Quackity couldn't help but laugh before letting out another noise of disapproval.

"No, what the fuck? It's just they didn't even contribute any ideas. Just sat and argued with us, and then left to go hang out with Bad." He reasoned, it was a half truth. It didn't bother Quackity at all that you'd been 'unproductive', he enjoyed your company so much and these past two hours had left him with a tummy ache from laughing too hard.

What he hadn't enjoyed was you dropping everything to go on a call with Bad.

It didn't actually bother him, it was part of the bit they had going on, where he was a Skeppy 2.0 and had to fight the other Skeppy copies, in this case YOU, for Bad's attention.

..

Right?

He could feel a migraine coming through trying to understand this new emotion settling in his chest.

Sapnap let out an amused laugh, mumbling a 'sure' but swiftly changing topics in order to not start yet another argument.

—

It had been about 4 days since the call with the 'Feral Boys' and the recording with Bad. Since then, everything had ran smoothly and you'd been extra productive, focused on getting the video edited and posted as soon as possible.

Currently, you were ringing Bad as he streamed on the server, wanting to make a quick appearance and also just bug him for a bit since you missed him.

Since it was a rather chill stream, Bad didn't fight away your affection, instead encouraging that you hop on the server and play with him for a bit. You couldn't say no to that, how could you?

Before you knew it, you were off your bed and on your chair, in front of your computer as the Minecraft loading screen lit up your facial features and Bad told chat and you about an event that took place this weekend while he was out shopping.

The hushed laughs and sweet stories being shared were soon interrupted by Bad letting out an annoyed huff. "Quackity is spamming me to let him join the call. Is that okay, Y/N?"

You nodded, letting out a hum of approval as you walked towards Bad's avatar that was currently standing still since Bad tabbed out. "Of course."

"Okay, Quackity I'm live, what do you want?" Bad warned before tabbing back onto minecraft.

"Why are you guys calling without me?" There it was, the same tone he had 4 days ago when he was 'upset' he got left out. Your eyes looked at the small message on the bottom left of the screen that let everyone know Quackity had joined the server.

"Because.. whats wrong with it?" Bad asked, confused, before happily following that up, "I was actually telling them about my trip to the store over the weekend."

"Yeah, he was," you mused, "before you rudely interrupted." You assumed he was here for a bit, the Skeppy 2.0s fighting for Bad's love and affection, bothering Bad for a bit before letting the stream go back to being a relaxing, chill stream.

"Yeah? Well I want to hear the story too. You'll tell me too, right Bad?" He returned, the joking tone in his voice confirmed your assumptions. This was a bit.

Bad let out an exasperated sigh. These bits were never planned beforehand, they just happened and unfortunately for Bad it was happening during his chill stream. "What are you two going to fight about now?"

"I have one. Why were you guys recording without me? Hm?" The chat exploded with confusion and excitement for a new video from either Bad or you, possible video ideas being thrown around in chat.

"Because." You deadpan, "If you can do it, so can I."

"That's different." He says every single syllable with precision, as if he is preaching something of upmost importance. "You two spend way too much time together now."

Bad says something to try and interfere the banter he knows is about to take place, chat is going crazy about the Skeppy 2.0s fighting for Bad's love. "So much for a chill stream." He mumbles to chat as his character watches you and Quackity hitting each other. With your fists, since it was deemed a 'fair fight' by both.

After about 3 hours, Bad decided he'd had enough and began saying goodbye to chat. There was a content smile on your lips as you made your character crouch beside Bad's, letting out a small and content "Bye chat!". Quackity had stayed the 3 hours as well, and was yelling his own goodbyes. As soon as the stream ended, Bad let out a small laugh.

"Sometimes you two are just too much." He said, the smile evident in his voice. "Do you guys enjoy bothering me that much?"

"Aw c'mon, Bad. You know we love you tons. And you know damn well you enjoy it too." Quackity teased, which earned yet another exasperated sigh from Bad.

"Okay, well I'm heading to bed.. I'm exhausted. Thank you two, for joining me tonight.. I had fun." He said softly, which automatically made a frown appear on your lips.

"Of course, Bad! I had fun too. Thanks for letting us join. I'll call you tomorrow, yeah?" You offered, to which he hummed. There was a few more goodbyes exchanged before the ping notified you both Bad was gone.

There was silence for a bit as you finally got out of the server and shut minecraft off, wanting to rest your eyes for a bit. Maybe even head to bed yourself.

"You'll call him tomorrow, huh?"

Your eyes closed and you leaned your head back against your chair.

"Bit's over, Quackity." You chuckled, not up for yet another banter about who deserved Bad's love more.

"When's the last time we called? Now it's just Bad this, Bad that."

Your eyes opened, your eyebrows furrowed as you stared at his little profile picture that had its green ring fading around it.

"What?" You said in pure disbelief.

"You heard me." He mumbled. "Video recordings, streams, calls. And me? Nothing. Not one crumb."

"What about you?" You teased, amusement growing as you realized the past 3 hours had not been about Bad, at least not entirely.

"Don't make me actually say it." He complained, which only helped make the smile on your face grow.

"Use your words, Alex. I can't read minds." You gently bit at your bottom lip in anticipation, and in poor attempt to hold back the laugh that was threatening to escape.

"Where's my calls? My recordings. You can't just randomly strip away all your attention from me and dump it on Bad."

"I didn't even do that." You protested, before letting the laugh escape your lips. "Plus, you should be greedy over Bad's attention, not mine."

"Maybe it's not for a bit, asshole? Did you think of that?" He asked sarcastically, earning a scoff from you.

"So you want my attention yet you're going to proceed to call me an asshole?"

"Yes." He breathed out.

"You didn't deny it." You hummed in slight approval. Usually he'd shy away from showing any actual clinginess or affection, and yet here he was, declaring with his whole chest that he wanted attention.

"Because I'm serious. Do you think this is a joke? Is that what I am to you?" He said dramatically, to which you shook your head.

"Of course not." You hummed before smiling at the absurdity of this conversation.

Maybe it was the lack of sleep finally catching up to you and now you were imagining things.

"So? Does this mean I'm getting daily calls, recording videos with you, and streaming together whenever? Even on the alt?"

"Now you're just asking for too much."

"It's the bare minimum you can do for treating me so poorly and neglecting your responsibilities."

"Neglecting my responsibilities?" You repeated in disbelief.

"Yes." He declared. "Ignoring me for Bad is neglecting your responsibilities. A.K.A. me."

"I wasn't ignoring you, Alex." You tried to reason, though he would not listen to any reasoning.

"Yeah, yeah. So what? Do we have a deal?"

You paused and thought about what he was asking for. It really wasn't much, and he was most likely joking, but it was very endearing to see him ask for attention so openly. Especially from you.

"Did you miss me, Alex? While I was off on calls with Bad, talking about who knows what until who knows what time.. were you missing me? Thinking about me?" There was a teasing tone to your voice, but you also genuinely wanted to know.

It was clear that it caught him offguard.

"I mean.. yeah– what do you want me to say? No, fuck you. I didn't miss you at all. That's why I'm on call with you whining and bitching about how you don't give me enough attention and I want more. Specifically from you, please."

His last few words came out more hushed than the rest, and it brought a smile onto your face.

"Okay."

"Okay-?"

"You don't have to go on.. I'll give you the attention you want so badly from me." You said, the grin on your face growing more at the sound of happiness he let out.

"I guess directly asking for stuff isn't too bad, hm? I'll have to give props to Karl later for the advice."

You raised your eyebrows in amusement. "You asked Karl for advice on how to get my attention-?"

He let out a small groan, "Let's not talk about this with anyone, yeah? Just give me my attention and shh."

You hummed, "Whatever you say, Alex."

[sapphire-innit]

DRISTAAAAA TIMEEE

VOD: TommyInnit Speaks To Dream’s Sister AGAIN

(rp): Drista!! I love this chaotic child and am looking forward to seeing the children bully each other lmao. I especially love the mythos around Creative mode, and that the most benevolent god on the Dream SMP is just as likely to ban you as hand you a shulker box lol.

I do wonder how in character cc!Tommy is going to be able to stay during this stream: on one hand he’s a master at staying in character even during lh moments, and on the other Exile arc is some Dark Shit and Dristas like what, 14?? Overall I expect this to be one of the lighter streams, with a smattering of moments where we remember that, oh right, Tommy’s pretty actively suicidal at this point and he sees this as one of his last hurrahs.

Speaking of our boy Tommy: it's very clear we are getting closer and closer to the infamous pillar. He switches rapidly between Fight and Fawn reflexes and has mostly internalized Dream’s treatment and conditions at this point. The one stand out moment being him calling out Dream killing Mexican Dream last stream, and pointing out he was changing his story even when Dream tried to lie and say he died of “a drug overdose [...] or natural causes”. I’m curious if Tommy is going to bring it up again, and even more curious if he eventually believes Dream about it; something to watch out for, for sure. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this moment of rebellion happened right after he had someone both stand up for him and spend time with him that wasn’t actively hostile or going to end (supposedly, at least by intention)

Hey we didn’t start off drowning for once!! cc!Tommy was also singing, though that could have been mostly out of character as well. Still, remarkably in a better mood, he even mentions having an appetite! You love to see it, and it's clearly because he’s looking forward to Drista’s visit

He’s building a log tower and on one hand, Tommy building Towers is a natural state of being, and on the other…. I know the pillar is coming and I am scared

A mention of the Anti-Dream hole… I still worry about when exactly and how Dream is going to find it. Still, I’m glad it exists, both for Tommy having a space for things important to him, as well as what it represents about his mental state re:not giving over completely to Dream

DRISTA!!!! LOL she was already online we didn't even see her join LOL. CHAOS GREMLIN she just flew over in creative mode and started wrecking shit, as is her right lmaoooo

“You massive jer--, (quieter) whats a nicer way…, YOU MASSIVE DICKHEAD” oh, Tommy..

I like how he tries to punch her even when shes CLEARLY IN CREATIVE MODE ADSADASD

The violence inherent in fourteen year olds,,,, adsfsadfsdfds

I hate this conversation why is this the conversation asdffdsfsd TEENAGERS

DREAM YOUR NOT EVEN A TEENAGER WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING THE SAME LOGIC

Well SHE can destroy the obsidian asdfsdfds She just Spleefs

“What would Dream do” Probably worse lets be honest

Is he actually gonna go back to L’manburg?? I don’t believe it but I also want :(

Again with the stabbing

AND DOWN HE GOEEEESSSS

“I have the fork, but I'm also killing you” afsafsdfdsf Tommy why are you wearing your good shit omg

Lol cc!Dream trying to defend his character for mocking Tommy’s accent adsfsdfds “I would NEVER” in the totally not believable tone lmaoooo

DID SHE REALLY GO AT HIM WITH A FORK I'M FUCKING DYING DSAFDADSFDS

“I will take it from you and I’ll kill him”... I have so many thoughts about how this works in lore. Is Drista possessing Dream? He can kick her out clearly, but she still has God Powers…

Lol and now SHES mocking his accent lmaoooo (... is it bad she sounded pretty close to me? lol)

Adsfdsfswd casual chaos Drista just broke the Nether Portal

Asking Drista to stop destroying things is a big ask to be honest lmaoo. Also she seems to be at least somewhat informed that ‘Dream is not supposed to be nice to Tommy’ or at least seemed hesitant to do /weather clear

GOD THE LAVA BUCKETS AND THE POTION OF HARMING adsfsdfsdf

“Tommy [beheaded him] actually… and killed Mexican Dream” Dream you motherfucker

“How to Sex 3” THE PANIK!!!!!! From Both cc!Dream and Tommy!!! This server is Not Child Friendly lol (Doesn’t…. That not even include sex things…. afasfsd)

Honestly I can’t stop smiling this is so wholesome somehow even with all the cursing and violence

Pigstep IS a bop, Tommy is right

“Just let him, just let him this one time” :(

“Tommy I still have the Fork” Drista totally willing to stab her brother to visit L’manburg

HE TOOK THE FORK ASDASDAS

Yes, closing your eyes will totally protect you from Forks lol

“I don’t need school, I dropped out” Is this Lore Crumbs, is this Lore

HEYYYY ITS THE BEDROCK, the one piece of bedrock he has lol, I think he still has that in current day right?

Drista is writing her name in BEDROCK adsfsdfds “I’m not going to be able to get rid of that actually” “That's the Point”

LOL SHe also recognized the burrito as from Mos lmaooo

Somehow “I really want to go to the other place.. I don’t know why he won’t let you” hit hard… it was def ooc, and she doesn’t have the full context, but still… its just someone else wanting and asking for Tommy to be able see L’manburg…

Afsdfsd the Small Gasp when she spleefs herself omgg

HES THERE!!! HES THERE!!!!!! L’MANBURG!!!!!!

Punz!!! WHY!!!! Were you there bc Drista might let Tommy through, was this a safeguard for the LORE. Also he’s currently working for Dream directly right, as a merc?

Drista trying to save Tommy!!!! Punz why are you winning a fight with someone in creative adfsadfsd He’s too good lol

They have negotiated a visit… I’m so emotional I wasn’t expecting this…. No one told me we got a real L’manburg visit !

BIG Q SHES FOURTEEN!!! Omg they didn’t tell him it was Drista. BIG Q!!! BIG Q DON’T SELL HER DRUGS

“He was Naked” good for you Drista, good for you. There’s something so hilarious about Drista just stabbing Quackity over and over again cause she’s uncomfortable lol (as is her right)

LOL THE FINAL KILL WITH MAGIC WHEN HE’S ALREADY DROWNING IM

Wha --- what video was it????? What is this Tommy picture on the Technoganda???

….”are you sure I’m allowed here” Dream’s conditioning is strong :(

“At many minute I could get mugged” To be Fair Tommy, that was true before

Did Tommy just suggest spawning in a Wither asdfsdfds

DRISTA DOG ARMY!!!! Aww and Tommy has one too~

THE BENCH!! THE HOUSE!!! Aaaaaaaaa He’s sitting on the bench nature is HEALING

AAAAAAAA A BLAZE!!!! Pfffft

…. Who destroyed the front of Tommys house?

,,,,Drista what are you doing with that soULSAND

“OK we'll turn on him” adsfsdfsd

OH HEY TECHNO!!! Lol “Oh god he meant me” fucking mood big man

……. Tubbo hallucination……… fuck

LOL HE COMBAT LOGGED “YOU CALL THAT COMBAT” I'M

To be fair, logging against a /kill is probably the only way to get away lmao

…...F

“Getting thrown off a cliff is literally how Theseus died!!” lol its also hilarious to me that Tommy def does not remember being called that. Personally I don't think it fits him super well anyway, but I do like it as something Techno calls Tommy, that shows how much he misjudges Tommy's character and intentions. No heroes here, just a kid trying to do good by their friends and what they care about

Techno actually looking up how to kill someone in creative mode

…. :( I just want my actual clingyduo content this is meeeeannn

OH HEY TECHNO …. You fucker he would and it would be HILARIOUS (get mad if Drista opped Techno that is lol)

….

….

IS THIS WHY THEY’RE BEDROCK BROS????? BECAUSE THEY BOTH HAVE DRISTA BEDROCK??????????????????????????

HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS ???

LOL TRUE DUO SUPREMACY TUBBO’S GOT TECHNO'S BEDROCK

Oh F Techno got him with the Obliterator lmaoooo

“I have 114 levels PLEASE” asdfdasfsdf

LOL Tubbo with the TNT there's our nuke boy, I'll take my crumbs where I can get them

THE SHULKER HOLY SHIT

“Don't let someone get it!!”” ADSFDSAFSDFDS they all tuRN CC REAL QUICK WHEN THE SHULKER BOXES COME OUT

Awesamdudes like: MORE PLEASE AFDASFDSF

Techno immediately snitching about Elytra and dRISTA GETTING THE ACHIEVEMENT

EVERYONE SNITCHING IN CHAT I'M!!!! DREAMS REACTION ASDFSDFDSF

Drista being the chaotic giver of illegal gifts is so fucking good I'M THRIVING

THE RUN ON PUNZ !!!! omg

Also can we just take a minute to appreciate Tommy being allowed around people <3 <3 This is so wholesome and good and chaotic as all hell

“I thought I was Tom Cruz for like a whole week” ...TOMMY??

LOL SHE BANNED TECHNO OMG

Dristas on a banning Rampage afsdfsdf

BAN GOGGY OMGGG

Omg shes actually making a wITHER DASDASDFAS

Oh no poor Tubbo I didn’t know he was liVE

319k viewers jeezus

Awwwww Techno hyping up Wilbur's song :) that's so sweet actually

…………….Fuck you Dream :( saw the chance to Twist the Knife in c! And TOOK IT

LOL THE FUCKING FORK IS THE BEST BIT LOLLLL

Lol ironically the Bedrock bros song is the oNE COPYRIGHTED ONE, god why did Minecraft ever copyright Pigstep what a shit move honestlyyy

Pigstep fucking goING TO TECHNO LOLLLLLL “this is the most powerful item on the server since it DMCA’s people”

LOL PUNZ TRYING TO STEAL ANOTHER SHULKER

Poor Sam he actually has to BUILD give this man a SHULKER

Lol Everyone wants a shulker so much

….aww he tried to toss the pigstep disc lmaooo DRISTAS LITERALLY HOLDING IT Scaaaaaammmmed

Drista “I NEED IT ON HAND” So committed to violence !!!

The fucking creepers on the way out omg fuckign PERFECT

LOL TOMMY WASN’T READY FOR THE TURN AROUND ON CURSING LMAO You can tell he's always been the youngest who people aren't sure how much they can curse around lmao He's so soft honestly he talks such a big game and then CRUMBLES when called on it lol

Asfdsfs she fell through the same hole again afsdfsdfsd

Drista has been introduced to a Weapon and she’s gotten ATTACHED lmaooo

Wait HOLD THE PHONE Dream has multiple sisters??? Lol

“Yeah I like Shit” Dream: “whAT???”

Bye Drista it’s been nice!!! I hope she had a good time, she seems like a good kid (who is definitely not a content creator lol though she keeps up admirably)

Drista’s one of the few people who can make Tommy speechless lmaooo he looks actually shocked lol

Also first mention of GhostInnit…. cc!Tommy…..

Keep preparing…. Was his original plan to rush Dream even if (maybe especially if…) he died? Fuck man

Also holy shit was this stream right before Quackitys? ? amazing

This was honestly such a BLAST and a really good time, and I can see why its viewed as one of the few breaks we get during Exile :) I feel so refreshed and it was so so nice to have Tommy hanging out in L’manburg having fun with his friends (even if Tubbo was stuck being a Hallucination and Also Banned lol) No deeper insight, I just haven’t stopped smiling for an hour and a half <3

[queenofwerewolves]

Future Hope - chapter 1.5 - Practice Makes Perfect

Our heroes didnt get their powers and knew from night to day how to manage them, especially those who had physical changes to their body. Our soon-to-be heroes were all reunited in Maria's house, they had planed to spend the afternoon practing and exploring their new limits and abilities, all helping eitch other.

They decided since Griff had the biggest change, they would focus on him first. At the moment they were out in backyard, eitch one giving suggestions on what to begin first.

"Pick us all up at once with your new muscles!" Said Muffin excitedly. "That's still too light! Pick us all up plus Maria's car" Said Spike, chewing once again on a bubblegum.

"You all leave Hellride out of this!" Maria responded angrily. "That car was expensive as fuck and I refuse to go back to a life of Ubers!" She crossed her arms, indignified.

"You named your car?" Kip answered from high up a tree branch, as cats do. "I name all my belongings, what of it?" Maria answered. "And they're all cool names, too".

"Hellride? Really?" Spiked scoffed. "Because she rides fast as Hell! Look can we get back on track and find something for Griff to test his strenght?!" Maria answered nervously with a touch of embarrassment.

"Unless we find an Indiana Jones boulder for him to spin on his finger like a damn basketball we arent gonna get any damn progress!" Spike shouted back.

Maria sighed and shook her head. "I hate it when you have a point.." Griff nervously scratched the back of his head. "There must be something we can do.." He quietly mumbled out.

"I got it!" Muffin shouted, they all turned to face her. "I forgot Im a fairy! I can just poof something up!" She said excitedly. Everyone stared at her with either a confused or shocked look.

"..How... Do you FORGET that you're a fairy?!" Spike blurted out nervously. "You have fucking wings! How does one forget they have huge pink glittery wings?!"

Muffin just shrugged.

Maria smiled wide. "OK Muffin, give us something huge and heavy for Griff to use!" Muffin nodded and grabbed her wand which had a muffin on the tip. "Wand cook, beat and bake! Give us a big large and tasty cupcake!" She waved her wand and out appeared from a bunch of pink glittery smoke, a nearly two-story house tall chocolate cupcake.

"... Why a cupcake..?" Blink asked as she peeked behind her mask, in slight awe and wanting to secretly a bite out of it. "I can only make sweets!" Muffin said with a shy tone. "Im not a fighter like you guys, I only want to make people happy and eat candy!"

"That is certainly the biggest pastry I've ever seen! So large and beautiful, I bet tasty as well!" "Not to mention DIABETIC AS HELL!!! We could die from a heart attack eating that! Or worse, we could get fat! Even fatter! And become even uglier then we already are! This is too overwealming I need a nap!"

Rooko and Rooki suddenly spoke, almost taking everyone off guard on how their friend Rook is suddenly two split personalities now based on the Youtube character ENA, one is always happy while the other is always sad, and depending on the situation they can go Manic or Miserable.

"OK Griff, show us what you can do!" Maria shouted excitedly. Without missing a second, Griff bent over and gripped the edge of the massive cupcake, after struggling a bit he slowly but surely, lifted the entire thing over his head, smiling proudly.

His friends cheered and applauded proudly. Feeling satisfied, he dropped the cupcake and dusted the chocolate crumbs off his hands and fur. "Yokusei!" He shouted, and with a naruto-like smoke poof, he turned back to his human self. Maria ran and hugged him tightly, which Griff embraced and hugged back with a slight twirl.

"Griff you were amazing!!" Maria said with a proud tone, Griff slightly blushed pink at the small punk girl and her excitement. "Oh shucks, it was nothing.." He said with a shy tone.

"Well, and seems we concluded Griffin's training." Togekiss said as they took a sip of tea. "He jump twice as high as a two-story house, his punches and kicks can knock down brick walls and possibly more if we werent limited on objects to test it with, he can hear twice as much then a dog could with his ears, and his sense of smell is impecable. Truly Griff is a strong asset to our team."

"I can only train my powers at night.." Said Spooks, holding an umbrella to protect her from the sun, now that it injures her. "Muffin's power is only sweet making. Togekiss has exceptional I.Q and can see simulations in the future like Garnet in Steven Universe, along with their strong telekenisis, and Kip simply draws whatever she desires, whether alive or not and it becomes a reality... That means it's Rook's turn to show us what she can do" She finished.

"Wonderful! It's our time to shine!" "I-I-I not ready! Everyone's gonna laugh at us! I-I might piss myself in fear!" "Oh pull yourself together dear! Our friends wont laugh at us!" "How do we know that?! They're just waiting to correct us on a dumb mistake!!!"

Rook's body shook and twitched as her eyes turned to static, suddenly her entire eyes turned black with a blue iris, she turned Miserable.

"They're gonna laugh and point at our foolish selves, we're gonna be so embarrassed that we'll wish that the Earth will swallow us whole and just fucking kill us now!! Go ahead! Laugh at us and our misfortune!!!"

"ooh shit" Maria said. "can someone calm her down?"

Rook's eyes change to regular as her Miserable side went away. "No need my good Queen! We are completly fine! Now prepare to be dazzled as we show you all what we can do!" q

Rook pulled out a harry potter-like wooden wand, waved it around. "Bloom and Blossom and protect who I love! Rise my pretties, rise high and above!" Rooki shot an orange light at the grass, which made dozens of flowers bloom and grow around Spike and Blink.

"This is only one of my tricks! It's a shield that protects them from almost anything! My main weakness is fire, because while plants are beautiful, they are also sadly very, very flammable"

"Cool." Said Spike before using his bat to aggressivly hit the flowers and the vines aside so he and Blink could leave.

"M-M-My turn I guess!" Rook took hold of the wand and waved it in circles. "Razzle Dazzle Shine and Show, make their body move it low!" Rooko shot a blue light at Spooks, which made unwillingly and uncontrolably start dancing and as the spell said, make her go low.

"O-OH GOD SOMEONE MAKE IT STOP I DONT LIKE HOW MY BUTT IS MOVING THIS MUCH!!" She shouted in desperation as she made a split and moved it even lower.

"M-My deal is with music! I-It works as a way of distraction o-or hypnosis and it lasts for 30 minutes un-le-less I say otherwise! I-I know it's a sucky power!"

"OK COOL CAN I STOP DANCING PLEASE IM GETTING A CRAMP!!!" Yelled Spooks, practically begging. Rooko flicked her wand and Spooks fell on the ground, panting. "OH MY POOR HAMSTRINGS THEY ACHE!!" She yelled in utter pain, meanwhile Maria and Spike were absolutely losing it.

"O-OH GOD MY STOMACH HURTS-" Said Spike in between laughter.

"OK you guys cool it" Said Blink. "It's our turn to practice now. We're the only ones who use regular weapons." She said drawing her sword and positioning her mask back in place.

"O-OK! OK!" Maria said getting up, she pulled out a small staff and whipped it, making it stretch out wide into a full, large red and black scythe, with a rose print on the blade. Spike spun his bat and spat his gum out.

"So. Who's ass Im kicking first?" Said Spike. "Wait on second thought this might be unfair." Said Blink. "Me and Maria had blades while Spike has a bat, maybe we should-"

Before she could finish, Spike swung his bat and hit Blink sword, knocking it out of her hand before kicking her back at the ground. Blink fell back hard before she could even process what happen, dumbfounded but angry, she snarled. "Oh it's on now Motherfucker." She extended her hand and the sword flew back to her hand, as she charged towards Spike, who moved out of the way as soon as Blink swung her sword, which if he hadnt been for Maria's scythe, would have sliced her right up.

"Dude! Chill! This is a pratice!" Maria spoke as both of their blades were against eitch other. Blink hopped and flipped over her and landed on a tree branch, croutching like a ninja. She put her hands together and in a small puff of smoke and disappeared. Spike and Maria were back to back, ready to counterattack Blink, what they didnt expect was for her to attack from underground.

Buring up from the dirt, she got both of them off their feet and charged after Spike, who barely managed to regain his balance before his using bat his block Blink's sword. A back and forth of clash-clings-and-clangs between metal begun, one attacking the other but eitch blocking every attack again and again.

Spike ducked a sword slash and roundhouse kick Blink's leg, which was effective since she's practically a ninja. She backflipped back on her feet and kept attacking swiftly. But a sudden scythe blade cut in between them, stopping the fight.

"That's enough!!!" Maria shouted. "You both are gonna end up hurting yourselves or eitch other! im ending it now!!"

"Oh what the hell dude?!" Blink shouted indignified. "I was about to beat him!!" "Oh please." Answered Spike. "Was that the best you could do? Sakura could do a better job kicking my ass" He scoffed. They began to argue loudly, genuinely angry at eitch other.

"THAT"S ENOUGH!!!!" Maria shouted, making them, and everyone else look at her.

"It doesnt matter would win that fight! This was a practice and not a competition!! The point of us being a team and getting powers in the first place was for all of us to make the world a better place, but the only way that can happen is if all of us work together!! As a team!!!"

They stood in silence, listening to her talk and set them straight.

"As cheesy as that sounds, it's true!! We shouldnt fight eitch other like this, you're not just my friends, we're all friends with eitch other! We all go along well and we know that, that's why I got you all together, because no one can bond better in a team then all of us together!!!"

"... She's right." Togekiss added, walking towards them. "We all started as simple individuals with free time on a website, but we all shared common interests, we grew closer.. And suddenly like that, we all became friends.. A family, if you will."

"We take care of eitch other and look out for one another." Said Spooks.

"Just like how you all did for me.. When I almost died. Almost died because of the shit and violent world we live in." Maria said.. With a slight crack in her voice.

"You're bringing in the same violence that almost killed me.. So please.. Please stop fighting.. We're all in this together.. Right..?"

Spike and Blink dropped their weapons and hugged Maria, and everyone else joined in as well.

"You're right, we're sorry Queen." Said Spike. "We got overwhealmed and we didnt mean it. We wont fight again, because you're right." Added Blink.

"We only have eitch other in this world, and if we want to change it we have to stick together, just like you said." Spike said one more time.

"And we wont let you down.. We promise.." Griff finished, with everyone agreeing with what he said.

And so they stayed for a moment, embraced within eitch other in a group hug. A family isnt perfect, there will be disagreements, but a good bond will always overcome those disagreements, and that's what they had, a good bond.

A bond that's practically unbreakable and untaintable. A bond that will soon be ready, and fight together to make the world a better place.

A bond that will the world's Future Hope..

[whumpbby]

whumpbby 😭 commiserate with meeee. Idk if you've seen this post that's kind of blowing up about how fandoms are racist in general because they always focus on white characters and ships over the POC ones and to be real, it's not that I disagree. I do agree, very much so, though I think the issue is way more nuanced. But I figure hey it's still a relevant post and I go to reblog and then I realise it's written by a goddamn anti 😭😭😭 now I have hIVES gdi the op is in the notes screeching at people for being kylo ren fans and telling them to die and I'm just So Over This, we can't have anything nice

The worst part is that this post got onto my dash from the blog writingwithcolour who gives really good and multi-cultural advice on writing POC and while I see why they'd reblog it, my automatic EWW UGH reaction to finding an anti's post unfiltered on my dash is now putting serious sus on that blog :((( I'm just here to whine at you dats all but yeah antis are ruining so many good things about Fandom I can't even feel good about a relevant post anymore

*commiserating*

I feel ya, the fandom that is supposed to be the place of fun and unwinding being overridden with self-congratulory bullshit is a pet peeve of mine too. 

It is hard to find a balance between ‘ yeah, these issues exist’ and a ‘no, I am not here for that’ and not end up on this or that pitchfork, because we seem to be living in the time and social sphere where daring not to be concerned about the current issue of the week for even one second of the day marks one as a degenerate/racist/sexist/take your pick. It’s the wart marking the witch. And you are expected to prove your creed constantly, to preform to someone’s satisfaction until they deem to absolve you. 

If she floats, she’s a witch. If she drowns, she’s not, but well, the point is moot.  

It’s tiring, god, it’s exhausting - when already so many things are exhausting in the real life we have outside of these fandom spaces. And it gets doubly exhausting once you realise that - it doesn’t matter. None of it matters. No graph showing how many poc characters are NOT being shipped, no list of authors who ship ‘problematic’ ships, not one anon message trying to shame someone into not doing something - NONE OF IT MATTERS. 

NONE. Not one grain of good has come out of it. 

People see a problem and get invested and sometimes the problem is real and needs solution - and very often we are so small and have no resources and we can’t help in any realistic way. So, brain comes up with ways of helping us feel less shitty about out own helplessness and we invest ourselves so deeply into them, because what else can we do? That post, that blog, that call to arms, that callout, that anon message - we are doping something! We are helping! 

We are doing something, right? Right??? 

It’s so hard to admit that not one child was saved by the witch hunt on Ao3, not one minor was saved form grooming by attacking fanfic writers on whatever platform, not one person was saved form abuse by attacking trans people, not one person was helped by the war on the “Q-word”, not one goddamn soul was helped by the anti-bullshit. All it results in is misery and pain and harassment, but hey, at least someone is reacting! - and, hey, these are ‘effects’, right? And we’re after ‘effects’ because at least we are doing something if it has effects, right??  

These movements, these tactics, these people - they are nothing else than kids stomping their feet in their respective kiddy pools and thinking the waves they create change the currents of the real ocean. They imagine they are stopping a tsunami hitting some foreign land when all they do is splash on the people who just want to wet their feet in the same pool. 

Listen. A story. 

In my town there's this guy who will randomly appear in the market square and shout about God and Salvation and how everyone sucks. This recent Christmas he positioned himself right opposite of the charity orchestra and was a nuisance to anyone who wanted to stop for a moment and listen to them playing Christmas carols - to have in this depressing and cold, and busy end of a crap year we have all survived, a moment of respite, of Christmas cheer, a crumb of relief. Usually the orchestra is surrounded by people and kids throwing coins into their box, by folk recording on their phones, etc. No, this this year no one could enjoy a moment of peace, because a nutcase behind tried to overshout the orchestra, so people kept walking, intimidated and annoyed. 

Out of frustration and, I admit, curiosity, I walked up to him and asked why won’t he move over to let the orchestra play - what I got was more shouting. Because listening to Christmas carols was hypocritical without the sprinkling of despair over the state of humanity and Our Sins. 

He wouldn’t engage, he wouldn't speak to me like a person - I was standing two feet form the guy and he was yelling at the top of his lungs so everyone heard him. I was raised Catholic in one of the most Catholic damn countries in Europe, I know what God is about. But, you see, it didn’t matter to the guy, what mattered was that he needed to be heard yelling. This was his attempt at converting people - by yelling in their faces. He was doing something and feeling better for it! 

This  guy was the anti-movement in a real, compact, one-dude pill. Any anti-movement you can think of that picks a flag and then starts to screech in its shadow, because it makes them feel better about themselves. 

As for Kylo...

The hilarious hate towards Kylo fucking Ren of all people? Towards people who ship him? All that misplaced anger at the crappy treatment of the poc actors by Disney and predominantly male ‘fans’ of Star Wars?? Let that sink in - white dudes with money made decisions, white dudes on the internet ganged up on an actress - but nah, dude, the women who write fanfic are the culprit!  We can’t gang up on Disney and we are too afraid of the dudes on Reddit and 4chan, but these girls writing Reylo porn are there and accessible and not scary and not male! We can take them on!  

How is it not hilarious? How?? This level of misdirection and confusion, being so intimidated by the insurmountable task of being angry at a corporation that makes their merch (that they are still buying, because hey, a fan is a fan, who doesn’t want a baby Yoda t-shirt?) that all they can do is to spin around and bite the ankles of the person standing behind them? How is this not hilariously morally bankrupt and so pitifully, tragically human? 

Let the block button become your shield, another good blog will come, don't regret blocking ones you are not sure about. You’re here to relax, you don’t deserve this kind of stress. They will keep screeching, but you keep walking, friend, the orchestra is still there playing your tune, enjoy it. 

[whichstiel]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Supernatural Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester Characters: Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Additional Tags: Episode: s14e09 The Spear, spn 14x09, The Spear, episode coda, Episode Tag, puzzle rings, sort of proposals, First Kiss Series: Part 7 of Season 14 Codas Summary:

Dean and Cas share Jack’s cereal n the wee stretches of the morning. Dean steals Jack’s puzzle ring and...Castiel’s heart, I guess :)

An excerpt: 

Light spilled from the bunker’s kitchen like a net catching against the opposite wall. Castiel walked quietly down the small stretch of hallway, curious to see who was awake at this rough time of the morning. The bunker was quieter these days, with most of the other hunters permanently on the road, or building new lives for themselves in places with windows that allowed in sunshine. Unless another hunter had arrived while Castiel had been rummaging in Storeroom Q, he would find a Winchester or Jack occupying the table.

Cellophane sounds rattled the silence, and Castiel ducked into the kitchen to find an amusing sight. Dean sat at the table, robe loosely tied and socked feet splayed across the floor in a relaxed sprawl. He froze like a headlight-struck deer when Castiel entered the kitchen, one hand clutching a box of Crunch Cookie Crunch and the other buried inside it. Dean’s cheek bulged and his lips parted comically. “Uh,” he said around the cereal in his mouth. “This isn’t what it looks like?”

Castiel pretended to frown in thought, fighting the urge to smile. “So you’re not eating the cereal you bought for Jack yesterday?”

Dean swallowed noisily, tipping the cereal box away and drawing back his hand. “Nah,” he said, brushing crumbs from his palm onto his pants. He gulped and set the box back on the table, leaning his elbow against it in a laughable portrayal of nonchalance. As Castiel watched, he played it up, grin spreading as the silence between them stretched. “You should try some,” Dean said finally. He winked. “It’s good.”

Read the rest on AO3! 

[ballandcone]

I’m absolutely enamored with your work, the emotion it elicits I can’t put to words, but I wish I could. Is it weird if I ask what the inspiration behind it is? I never seen something quite so unique and inexplicable and I’d love to know more about it

Thank-you!!

Here, from a few years ago, is an interview that Claire Donner of the excellent donnerpartyofone tumblr conducted with me via email:

Q: People seem to like origin stories. What is the origin of Ball and Cone?

In the fall of 1976 while in grad school, I made my first oil painting, a dreamy image of a small brick house with a tall cone standing just outside the open front door and, visible through a window, a blue ball in on corner of the warmly lit interior. (Neither object had eyes or feet.) In retrospect, I think it was about my anxiety over having gotten married just a few months earlier; I wasn’t quite all in psychologically. The following spring, I gave the painting to my best friend from high school Dell Trecartin and his bride Cathy as a wedding present. For many years, it resided in their basement rec room in Ohio, an enduring presence for their two sons, one of whom grew up to become the famous video and performance artist Ryan Trecartin. Years later, Ryan told me that the painting had fascinated him when he was little and that it influenced him more than any other artwork he knew of. After he finished art school, he appropriated it and took it with him to the various cities he lived and worked in with his entourage of collaborators and hangers on. And it came to pass that on arriving in Philadelphia some years later that it was stolen from the roof of his car, to which it had been tied. A tragic loss. After that I thought that I should make a new version of the painting. A few months ago I made a small drawing inspired by its memory.  I made the ball and cone more explicitly anthropomorphic than they were in the original painting. That was “Ball and Cone 1,” in which Cone looks in through a window at Ball, who is sitting on the floor looking sleepy and bored.

Q: The floor of what? It seems like the adventures of Ball and Cone always take place either inside an unfurnished architectural space or in plain air, but you almost never see the outsides of the buildings, or what sort of larger environment they are in.

A: What almost always seems to be going on has to do with relationships between inside and outside. When Ball and Cone are inside, they are looking out or in a process of going out. Their shadowy doppelgangers often are looking in at them. Crossing over the boundary between one state and the other is a recurring drama in Ball and Cone. Apropos of this, my mother sent me this bit about a psychological phenomenon called “the event boundary” (I forget where she got it from):

“Ever walk into a room with some purpose in mind, only to completely forget what that purpose was?

Turns out, doors themselves are to blame for these strange memory lapses.

Psychologists at the University of Notre Dame have discovered that passing through a doorway triggers what’s known as an event boundary in the mind, separating one set of thoughts and memories from the next.

Your brain files away the thoughts you had in the previous room and prepares a blank slate for the new locale. Thank goodness for studies like this. It’s not our age, it’s that stupid door!”

Q: Speaking of states of mind, it is remarkable how much emotion you seem to get out of characters whose only expressive faculty is a single eyeball. I have a theory that when the reader takes in the on-panel circumstances, they project their own feelings back on to Ball and Cone - but maybe that’s not giving credit due to your bold, stark cartoons. What is your secret?

A: Somehow the mind/brain system has a way of enriching what enters consciousness through your optical equipment and through your other senses. This is happening all the time whether you’re looking at “real” things in the world or images on a flat surface.  The excitement of comics is in the way the mind fills in a relatively meager sensory input to create experiences of extraordinary emotional, cognitive and imaginative depth and breadth. I like to play with how little is needed to make that happen.  One of the not-so-secret secrets of Ball and Cone is that they are like children in a perplexing, sometimes scary, sometimes fun world. I guess that’s something everyone has lots of feelings about. I know I do.

Q: This makes a lot of sense to me, because I often unconsciously superimpose the idea of “rods and cones” over Ball and Cone. Maybe this is also because their entire faces are composed of a single eyeball. It is interesting that their adventures are so emotionally charged, since the presence of threat is felt, but the nature of the threat is unclear. For instance, you have an episode in which Ball and Cone are actually murdered, but it doesn’t wind up being a big problem for them. Similarly, there’s a sense of intimacy between Ball and Cone, but it isn’t any clearer than the basic idea of a companionship; they could be siblings or romantic partners or in a parental relationship, but they’re not telling. Do you deliberately exploit this kind of vaguery for its emotional potential, or is the writing part of Ball and Cone more of a free association process?

A: Nothing I do with Ball and cone is conceptually premeditated in the way my answers here might suggest. I work out of some combination of image and feeling. What I’m trying to do most deliberately is making something funny. They’re not called “comics” for nothing.

That said, the comic is, for me, a kind of philosophical playground. It seems I tend to think in terms of universal sorts of relationships and situations. That’s why the comic is so abstract.  So companionship seems to me a kind of relationship that any two people can be in together. At first I thought that Ball and Cone’s relationship might be sexual, but then it seemed that would over-determine certain types of situations and events. It would be more about the relationship between them than about their relationship as friends to the situations that befall them and the actions they undertake. For Ball and Cone as traveling companions the possibilities seem more open-ended.

The experiences they undergo also are universal: being inside and outside; going from one place to another; watching and being watched; following and being followed; being bored, being excited; feeling safe and feeling scared; being trapped and escaping entrapment, and so on. The things that they do and that happen to them are things that all people do and experience.

A major theme has to do with being limited. They only have one eye each and they don’t have arms. Real humans would be like gods to them. But real humans are limited, too: why don’t we have eyes in the backs of our heads or four rather than two arms? Being limited is a condition of being. But so is over-coming limitations. Despite their inadequacies, Ball and Cone have some pretty interesting adventures.

Having said all that, it remains a wonder to me that they elicit emotional responses in me and in their readers.

Q: You are not from a comics background in the strictest sense, neither personally nor professionally. How did you decide to convert the concept of an old painting to an ongoing web comic? Are there certain comic artists that have inspired you?

A: When I made the first few drawings last April, I knew there would be more to come, but I had no idea it would become a web comic. A friend insisted that I start posting on tumblr, which I didn’t know much about. The comic format was something I played with back in the late 70s and early 80s. (See image, a pencil and gouache from back then).

I’ve always loved the comic style and the intersection of Pop, Surrealism and Psychedelia. Some favorite artists include John Wesley and Jim Nutt. From the comic world: R. Crumb, Daniel Clowes, Charles Burns and Lynda Barry. Too many others to mention here. And, of course, Krazy Kat.

Q: Indie comix have experienced a huge revival in recent years, but curiously, the most successful creators don’t reflect the hairy, wet aesthetic rebellion of the ‘60s underground, but rather the hygienic, adorable affectations of Japanese consumer imagery. Ball and Cone don’t really look like anything so easily namable as Astro Boy or Hello Kitty, but they are awfully kawaii on their own terms. If it was important in the 1960s to defy or pervert expectations of cuteness from cartoon characters, is it important in some different way to embrace or exploit cuteness now? What are your feelings on cute?

A: Of his time drawing cards for the American Greetings Corporation, R. Crumb recalled, “My boss kept telling me my drawings were too grotesque. I was trained to draw ‘cute’ little neuter characters, which influenced my technique, and even now my work has this cuteness about it.” Crumb seems abashed about the cuteness in his work, but without it I doubt it would be nearly as compelling. I think I would lose interest in Ball and Cone if they weren’t so darn cute. It’s kind of embarrassing, though, a grown man doing these cute little things. What’s that about?

               An interview with a philosopher named Sianne Ngai I came across recently went a long way to helping me understand. She wrote a book called “Our Aesthetic Categories: Zany, Cute, Interesting.” At the start of the interview, she explains, “I’m interested in states of weakness: in “minor” or non-cathartic feelings that index situations of suspended agency; in trivial aesthetic categories grounded in ambivalent or even explicitly contradictory feelings. More specifically, I’m interested in the surprising power these weak affects and aesthetic categories seem to have, in why they’ve become so paradoxically central to late capitalist culture. The book I’m currently completing is on the contemporary significance of three aesthetic categories in particular: the cute, the interesting, and the zany.” I love how seriously Ngai takes these topics and how much she unpacks from them. Here’s more on cuteness: “The asymmetry of power that cuteness revolves around is another compelling reminder of how aesthetic categories register social conflict. There can be no experience of any person or object as cute that does not somehow call up the subject’s sense of power over those who are less powerful. But, as Lori Merish underscores, the fact that the cute object seems capable of making an affective demand on the subject—a demand for care that the subject is culturally as well as biologically compelled to fulfill—is already a sign that “cute” does not just denote a static power differential, but rather a dynamic and complex power struggle.”

              Reading this makes me think that in making cute comics I’m doing something really important. But if I wasn’t feeling rebellious against the idea of importance – preferring the trivial, the silly and the stupid – there wouldn’t be much fun in it. It’s all very paradoxical in my mind when I think about it.

Q: Rebellion against importance sounds like a pretty good agenda. However, you come from a comparatively “important” high culture background, and your ostensibly low brow comic isn’t totally immune to its influence. For instance, the main threat in most of Ball and Cone’s scarier adventures is simply being seen, with multiple panels and story arcs revolving around being pursued, spotted and spied upon; the idea of gazing as an act of aggression is an obsession for lots of fine artists, photographers and filmmakers. Do you sense yourself importing ideas from other disciplines?

A: The ideas animating Ball and Cone that interest me most come less out of art than out of philosophy, in which seeing is a huge topic. The relationship between what we see – or, what we think we see – and what mind-independent reality  might be like has been endlessly pondered by thinkers from Descarte to Derrida and beyond. For Aristotle, a basic feature of human consciousness is a capacity for wonder and a drive to understand, which we satisfy much of the time by looking at the world and, metaphorically, looking inward. Most of the time, it seems to me, Ball and Cone are looking as if they’re just wondering what is going on in any given situation. They just want to understand. The gazes of the black Ball and Cone may seem possibly menacing, but it’s hardly ever clear that they pose any kind of real threat. But the dynamics of looking, seeing and being seen do have to do with power, as the seer usually has, at least momentarily, the advantage over the seen. So there is a certain political dimension that probably relates to voyeurism as a feature of modern life at least as reflected in photography and movies.

              Another kind of seeing involves not optical perception but an ability to “see past”  or “through” surface reality as registered by our senses.  That’s just something that cognitive intelligence does. Sometimes it’s called insight. You “see” some underlying pattern that is invisible to ordinary vision. Often the same thing may be seen in different ways, and seeing something one way may preclude seeing it another way. That’s what the duck-rabbit figure is about, a favorite topic for Wittgenstein. When  seeing from a singular perspective meets an apparently ambiguous reality that seems to change depending on how it is seen: that’s a moment I think I’m always hoping Ball and Cone will encounter, wonder about and try to understand by looking. It’s a moment when the nature of mind comes at least hazily into view.  You have to look in order to see. Then you see your own seeing.

               Then there’s the possibility of being able to see through reality as delivered by our senses to a metaphysical or transcendental reality that has no material being but exists nevertheless in some world-determining way. Nothing I’ve experienced in my life convinces me that such a realm exists, but I’ve always loved the fantasy of it. It’s a fantasy that urges a kind of mental adventuring, because as Hegel writes, whatever might be there to be seen will ever exist only be virtue of someone going there to see it:

“It is manifest that behind the so-called curtain which is supposed to conceal the inner world, there is nothing to be seen unless WE go behind it ourselves, as much in order that we may SEE as that there may be something behind there to be seen.”

I think that’s why windows and windows within windows – as well as doorways and other openings in the fabric of the picture – figure so often in Ball and Cone.

Q: One final question: everyone knows that young artists are probably just going to starve, so do you have any advice for young philosophers?

A: I love philosophy but I’m not a professional philosopher, so I wouldn’t know what kind of career advice to give a young philosopher other than, in the immortal words of Joseph Campbell, “follow your bliss.” The best advice I ever heard from a real philosopher about reading philosophy was from my friend Nick Pappas, a professor at CUNY. I mentioned in an email that I’d been dipping into Hegel and Heidegger and finding their writings strangely repetitious and opaque yet somehow hair-raising. I wrote, “Were those guys on drugs or something? They sound like stoners to me,” to which Nick replied, “H. and H. both have the stoner’s obsessive attention to – well, to everything.  And one thing I try to learn from them but especially from Heidegger and the best Heideggerians who came after him: not to be in a hurry.  Let other writings get to the point.  Philosophy is on its own clock.” I love that. We are obliged to obey hurrying clocks all the time. In art and philosophy, we can enter other, less utilitarian time zones. What, after all, is the rush?

http://ballandcone.tumblr.com/post/62988401247/my-name-is-ken-johnson-and-i-am-the-author-of

[backstage-bucknell]

The 2021-2022 Season

After the whirlwind that has been 2020 and the start of 2021, we’ve gotten to experience what it really means for the arts to endure, despite whatever obstacles might present themselves. Shows that were postponed are returning, and both  student and guest directors have exciting plans! Take a look at what Theatre & Dance has got planned for 2021-2022 – starting with this Friday’s premiere of Anxious People!

Fall 2021

First Year Showcase

Anxious People

"Headed toward a place of connection." - playwright Carol Y. Lee

Anxious People! by Carol Y. Lee is a brand new play that explores the human condition. What makes us nervous, upset, embarrassed, heartbroken? When can we find these valuable moments of connection that remind us that we are not alone? The First Year Show is a community-driven show, open to all first years regardless of prior experience. Through vignette style writing, this ensemble based show is the perfect opportunity to learn more about theatre on campus, meet new first years with similar interests, and create that connection that will last throughout college. 

Friday, September 17th and Saturday September 18th at 7:30 PM | Harvey M. Powers Theatre

check out the promo video for Anxious People made by Ryan Bremer ‘22, along with some thoughts on his inspirations behind the work (Inspirations and Reflections on a Publicity Video, Or: Ryan Talks About Fonts for Way Too Long)

    Showcase 

The Taming of the Shrew(s)

By William Shakespeare 

Directed and Adapted by Katharine Cognard-Black

September 24-26th Friday and Saturday at 7:30pm Sunday 2pm

Bucknell Hall Free Admission

Taking a fresh look at Shakespeare’s classic but challenging play The Taming of the Shrew, director/adaptor Katharine Cognard-Black ’21 will be exploring three interpretations of select scenes from The Taming of the Shrew(s) and will provide distinct, and sometimes even contradictory ideas, about gender dynamics within the play and in Shakespeare’s work. Cognard-Black’s new adaptation examines and questions the play’s complex depictions of gender and identity within a contemporary context.  

“Shakespeare’s plays do not answer questions; they are not definitive about characters, themes, and concepts. Rather, they raise questions that are subject to interpretation of every new century, every director, every reader, and every sensibility.”  

Emma Smith, author of This is Shakespeare

Congratulations & Welcome to the Cast and Crew of The Taming of The Shrew(s) by Shakespeare (Directed by Katharine Cognard-Black ‘21):

Katharine - Elisabeth Penafiel ‘23

Katharine - Libby Hoffman ‘24

Katharine -  Emma Battle ‘22

Petruchio -   Andrew Schafale ‘24

Petruchio  - Chaim Gould ‘22

Petruchio -  Reid Fournier ‘24

Stage Manager - Grace Lostak-Baker ‘23

The Fall Theatre Mainstage 2021: Two Shows in Rep

Repertory theater, a method of producing theatre from a resident company in alternation or rotation, has been a popular style of offering plays through-out the history of Western theatre. The benefits of companies being able to produce multiple shows ‘in rep’ are many. In commercial theatre, companies can offer increased variety and riskier, more controversial productions when paired with (and subsidized by) plays that have been more popular in the past. The tradition of repertory theatre values a commitment to a more experimental rehearsal style, rich with time for exploration. This style tends to embrace a minimalist approach in small spaces, offering an intimate atmosphere within which audiences can experience plays more viscerally. Attention is also given to the possibility that costumes, props and sets can be interchangeable between productions in creative ways.

At Bucknell, we chose to explore the idea of two plays in-rep because we see the value in experimental projects as well as the rare opportunity for the audience to be up close to the story and the actors. More than that, we saw it as an opportunity for these two plays to be more profoundly in dialogue with each other. As we often enjoy in our theatre courses, the chance to read, compare and contrast two stories is a treat which inspires much conversation and gives us a richer understanding of the subject matter as a whole. In classes, comparing plays seen through the eyes of differently gendered playwrights can be astonishing. In our collaboration, the identities of the playwrights is just the beginning. We seek to compare, contrast and connect these two plays in multiple ways.

Two different families, two different time periods, two totally different settings seemingly having nothing in common - and yet each play is centered on the devastating complexities of race in America. What does it mean when a white family in the early 2000’s is forced to come to terms with a painful past steeped in oppression? What does it mean when a Black family in the mid 1950’s tries to imagine a better future and hurts one another trying to find their way forward? Further, how is the possibility of "family" formation pitched into crisis in the afterlife of slavery? 

Do these two families have anything in common? Are they connected? Or are they merely ghosts in each other’s stories, haunting one another with secrets, pain, and the regret of choices never made. Our two plays in-rep: Appropriate by Brandon Jacob Jenkins and Crumbs from the Table of Joy by Lynn Nottage offer our community at Bucknell the chance to experience, question and struggle through the many ways in which all of our stories all intersect. 

We are excited to present these two shows, not as separate productions, but as a connected project. Two plays, one stage. Two productions, one weekend. Two casts, one company. Two extraordinary experiences. One sensational program. Join us for the Bucknell Department of Theatre and Dance’s Fall Theatre Mainstage Productions 2021: Crumbs from the Table of Joy and Appropriate. It’s about time we look deeply at the challenging stuff that continues to haunt us, together. 

- Anjalee Deshpande Hutchinson in partnership with Jaye Austin Williams

Crumbs from the Table of Joy  

by Lynn Nottage

Directed by Dr. Jaye Austin Williams

Friday Oct 22 @ 7:30pm, Saturday Oct 23 @ 2 p.m., Monday Oct 25  @ 7:30pm 

Tustin Studio Theatre     $12 general /$7 students 

Crumbs from the Table of Joy tells the story of the Crump family - a recently widowed father, Godfrey, who heads up north to Brooklyn, New York from Florida in 1950, with his two daughters, Ernestine and Ermina. Ernestine, from whose perspective the story unfolds, wants to become a writer. She bonds fiercely with her dead mother's sister, Lily, who has already migrated north in search of a life beyond the formidable struggles black people are facing every which way, and a platform upon which to fight against them. Godfrey, in search of a sense of belonging to wrench him from his grief, takes solace in the teachings of Father Divine. Young Ernestine studies these two survival strategies and draws some conclusions of her own when, by play's end, we find she has foreseen more of the twists and turns to come than we could ever dare imagine.

Congratulations and Welcome to the Cast of Crumbs From the Table of Joy:

Ernestine Crump - Jeniah Martin ‘22 

Ermina Crump - Azhani Duncan-Reese ‘23

Lily Ann Green - Bryanni Williams ‘23

Godfrey Crump -  Isaiah Mays ‘23

Gerte Schulte - Maggie Hunter ‘24

Godfrey U.S.   - Quentin (“Q”) Andrews ‘24

Gerte U.S. -   Miki Du Bois ‘22

Asst. Directors -   Emma Battle ‘22 & Quentin (“Q”) Andrews ‘24

Stage Manager - Jillie Santos ‘22

Asst. Stage Manager - James Howe ‘23

Appropriate 

by Branden Jacobs-Jenkins

Directed by Professor Anjalee Deshpande Hutchinson 

Thurs Oct 21 @ 7:30pm, Sat Oct 23 @ 7:30pm, Sun Oct 24th @ 2 p.m. 

Tustin Studio Theatre     $12 general /$7 students 

Appropriate, by Brandon Jacob Jenkins, takes us on a journey to a decaying Southern plantation home whose deceased patriarch leaves behind an unexpected legacy for his estranged children returning to divide up the estate. The grown children include a disgraced high school principal, a wealthy New York businessman, and the black sheep of the family who climbs through a window after having been disconnected for over a decade. In addition to bringing their own baggage to this dysfunctional family reunion, each sibling brings their new family members, including a wife, children, and a fiance. As they begin the process of painstakingly going through the contents of their father's years of hoarding to give, sell or throw away his treasures they come across a disturbing photo album. One which contains nothing but page after page of photos of black men being lynched. The family’s discovery about their father cuts right to the heart of their identities; as individuals, as a family, and as a part of an American history they thought they understood. Part ghost story, part family drama, part black comedy; Appropriate offers an unflinching look at one American family and their very own racial reckoning.

Congratulations & Welcome to the Cast and Crew of Appropriate:

Bo - Jon Riker ‘22

Rachael - Jillian Flynn ‘22

River -   Sydney Dickinson ‘22

Franz - Peter Cholnoky ‘22

Toni - Bethany Fitch ‘23

Cassidy - Haley Dickinson ‘23

Rhys - Kieran Calderwood ‘24

 Bo U.S. - Ryan Bremer ‘22

Rachael U.S.-  Katherine Leschner ‘23

River U.S. -  Katherine Leschner ‘23

Franz U.S. - Ryan Bremer ‘22

Toni U.S. - Sabrina Debler ‘22

Cassidy U.S. - Grace Woodhouse ‘25

Rhys U.S. - Griffin Miller ‘24

Asst. Directors -  Nabeel Jan ‘23 & Joe Fazio ‘22

Stage Manager - Julia Tokish ‘22

Asst. Stage Manager - Yasmine Adam ‘24

Showcase

Fall Dance Showcase                                        

 Directed by Kelly Knox

Saturday November 13th at  2 pm & 7:30 pm

Harvey M. Powers Theatre     $7 general admission

Looking forward to taking the stage this year, the Fall Dance Showcase features student guest artist, and faculty choreography as well as student dance groups and dance classes. The concert lives up to its name, highlighting the various forms  of dance on campus with room for folks of  all backgrounds and experiences.  Always a wonderful celebration of our dance community, please join us! 

Dance Mainstage

Fall Dance Concert: Asian Gala

Directed by Er-Dong Hu      

Fri Dec 3rd @ 7:30 pm & Sat Dec 4th @ 7:30 pm

Harvey M. Powers Theatre 

With generous support from the Lisa Lu Foundation and in conjunction with the Department of Theatre and Dance and the Bucknell China Institute, the Dance Program hopes you’ll join us for an Asian Gala Celebration. Featuring the choreography of guest artists, faculty, and students, this concert seeks to  promote the richness and elegance of Asian dance forms.  

Showcase

Cocktail Theatre

Directed by the students of THEA 240             

Mon Dec 6 & Tues Dec 7 (time TBA)

Tustin Studio Theatre Admission:  Free

The Cocktails are the final projects for our Directing 1 students. Come and enjoy a night of always entertaining, 10 minute, one act plays.

 Spring 2022

 Theatre Mainstage 

Electra

By Sophocles

Directed by Cfrancis Blackchild

Friday, Saturday, Monday Feb. 25, 26, 28  7:30pm & Sunday  Feb 27 2pm

Tustin Studio Theatre $12 general /$7 students

Theatre Mainstage

Fun Home     

Book and Lyrics by Lisa Kron

Music by Jean Tesori

Directed by Bryan M. Vandevender

Friday, Saturday, Monday April . 8, 9, & 11 at  7:30pm, & Sunday  April 10 at  2pm

Harvey M. Powers Theatre $12 general /$7 students

Showcase

Choreographer’s Showcase   

Directed by Er-Dong Hu

Friday April 5  7:30

Saturday April 6  2pm and 7:30pm

Tustin Studio Theatre $12 general /$7 students

Dance Mainstage

Spring Dance Concert   

Saturday April 27th 7:30pm

Sunday April 28 2pm

Weis Center For The Performing Arts $12 general /$7 students

[elenatria]

Hiddlesworth Valentines’ day

http://archiveofourown.org/works/13707372

“Hey, Tom…”

The deep raspy voice was followed bya momentary, thoughtful pause from the other end of the line.

“Who is th- oh Chris, hi, how areyou, man?”

“Who is this?” Chris scoffed. “Did you delete my phone number, mate?”

“Oh no,” Tom was quick to reply withthat familiar awkward laughter, “it’s-it’s this stupid thing really, I bought anew phone and didn’t have the time to transfer all my contacts, you know, justthe important ones.”

“Just the important ones?…”

“The – c’mon, Chris, you know what Imean, the ones I know by heart, my parents, my sisters, you know.”

“I’m teasing you, mate, take iteasy,” Chris chuckled like it wasn’t a big thing, like it hadn’t been monthssince they last spoke. “I just thought I’d call you, see how you’ve been.”

“I’m… good,” Tom said scratching wearilyhis brow as he peered through the window at Corby, the black-featheredneighbour who was the first to pay his respects when the actor moved in hisapartment in Camden, and who was now pecking at the crumbs of hardened breadand rusks Tom had left outside the window in a small chipped cup.

“Corby and Bobby”, “The Crow and theCocker Spaniel”, “The Black Brothers”. They could be a comedy duo, Tom hadthought when he was searching for a name for the little feathery fellow, or theycould be comic strip characters like Garfield and Oggy, Sylvester and Tweety. Therewere times when he was tempted to pick up the phone, dial the number, talkabout anything really, the weather,the new book he was reading, the swims and the barbecues and the snakes in theyard and in the bedroom and the boomerangs on the wall and the starry Pacificnights. Instead he would always hang up before pressing a single number,distracted by Corby pecking at the glass demanding his daily dose of brokenbiscuits or by Bobby wagging his tail with a ball in his mouth, always eager toplay when his human was finally home. His human was almost never home and whenhe was, Bobby would certainly not let him waste his precious playing time withlong pauses over that talking cabled contraption. After all it was easier forTom to hang up and give Bobby belly rubs until the impulse to make that callwas gone. If anything, Bobby was a good listener.

Besides Tom always felt like therewas nothing to talk about really. People everywhere were so eager to listen towhat he had to say, and he would talk and talk and the mesmerized crowds wouldbe hanging from his lips at every interview, every performance, every Q&A.Everyone would prick up their ears at his wisdom and charisma; everyone but hissisters who knew the real Tom and were too used to his charm. And Chris. Chriswould listen for a while but when Tom started ranting he would cut him short.

“You’re talking too much, mate.”

Or dancing too much, or singing toomuch. Tom would indulge in his spontaneous displays of enthusiasm and Chriswould always be there to contain him, keep him grounded. When there were peoplewatching Chris would laugh and turn the other way, or tease him in front ofeveryone. When they were alone he would mock him with relentless passion untilTom blushed or pouted, or both. And if Tom was determined to not stop no matterwhat, Chris would resort to shutting him up by throwing him pillows. It was pillowfights or long breathtaking kissing sessions. Kisses always worked like a charm- it was an axiom. It was only then that Tom would close his eyes and enjoy thesilence. And silence, in Chris’ arms, on the sofa, on the bed, on the floor,was a warm sea of deep sighs that came and went like murmuring waves. The peacewould be broken only by deep desperate grunts and long ecstatic cries, untilthere was silence again.

“I’m good.” Tom was thinking ofthings to say when Bobby came to him, nuzzling his foot. “Just finishing mybook. Sorry, I was distracted.”

“A book? You thinking about turningit into a movie?”

“Don’t know yet. Look, it’s just abook I’m reading, it’s nothing.” Chris wouldn’t understand anyway. Chris didn’tread books.

Tom heard him sigh and he realizedthat he sounded harsh and dismissive, and it was even worse because there was atime when he wasn’t like that; there was a time when he would try, a time when tryingmeant caring. He had begged Chris more than once to at least take a look at oneof the books he recommended him, and sometimes they’d bicker about it untilmorning.

And then one day Tom stopped trying.Gradually they both did.

“Look, Tom, I just wanted tocongratulate you on your Golden Globe, and I meant to call you on your birthdaytoo, I know it was almost a week ago, I just reckoned you were busy, I was busytoo, yeah-”

“It’s ok, Chris, it’s all good,” Tominterrupted him as that bitter feeling began to well up in his stomach again. Heglanced at Corby, but Corby was finishing his lunch and was about to fly away.

“No it’s not… It’s so not. I totallywish I had called you after you got the Globe, I mean-“

“It’s ok, Chris, it’s not like itwas that important. I mean it was, it’simportant for my work but… yeah. I kind of regret it now.”

“Tom, don’t listen to thoseblockheads, forget about them, what do they know.”

“No, look, I shouldn’t have talkedthat much, they were right. I was just nervous.”

Chris didn’t answer, and severalseconds passed before he could find the right words; words that were doingtheir best not to hurt, not to judge.

His voice came out hoarse andbroken. “You felt the need to apologize. You should never feel the need toapologize, Tom… Not for the bloody speech, not for the tank top, not foranything.”

Now it was Tom’s turn to be silent;the knot in his stomach was making it hard to speak.

“So you read the interview,” hemuttered.

“Yeah, it was out today. I don’teven know why you agreed to answer those questions, GQ is getting worse thanDaily Mail these days.”

Tom blinked slowly as Bobby keptrubbing his head on his leg, whimpering softly.

“I just thought people should know,”he said.

“Don’t feed those cannibals, mate.”

“It’s all good,” Tom shrugged. “Atleast I said what I wanted to say.”

“Do you think people will listen?”

“Did you ever listen?”

Tom knew it was an unfair blow, andthe words came out wrong, like they always did. No matter how hard he tried inhis life to be polite there were times when he couldn’t fight the bitternessand the snark. Chris didn’t deserve this, but there it was.

“I’m listening now…” came the softslurring response. “I know you probably don’t want to talk. I know you’reprobably done talking, done explaining things to yourself, to me, to others. Ijust wish I was there, that’s all. When it counted. I wish the whole world wasone continent, one neighbourhood. And I wish we were still cooking culinarymasterpieces together and drank wine all night long.”

“It’s ok, Chris,” Tom said and hiseyes were stinging. “It’s ok. We all change, it’s the one truth that holds theuniverse together.”

Chris sighed again, and Tom couldhear his shaking breath.

“Go out, tonight, ok, mate?” Christried to sound cheerful but his voice was choked. “Go out and buy teddy bearsand heart-shaped chocolate boxes and drink and dance your heart out, I sure won’tbe there to judge you, I mean you’re an incredible dancer, Tom, an incredibledancer, you’re fucking incredible, you know that, and I always- I always wantedto… I always-“

Tom didn’t know what to say; helistened hard but now there was nothing to hear but his own heavy breathing andthe soft whisper of silent sobbing from the other end of the line. Then therewas nothing.

When Chris finally managed to speakagain Bobby had grown tired of Tom’s unresponsive foot and had curled up in hisbasket, too sleepy and tired to chase his human anymore. Tom fumbled for thetissue box on the table in front of him staring out of the window at the emptycup where Corby was standing just a few minutes ago. He regretted not noticinghim when he decided to fly away, he was too busy wiping his cheeks with theback of his hand.

He was always too busy to noticesuch things.

“Go out, ok?” Chris urged him, nowcomposed. “Go out.”

“I will,” Tom reassured him andwiped his eyes with the heel of his palm.

“Happy Valentine’s day, Tom.”

Tom smiled and closed his eyes. Hehad promised not to cry again but there he was, breaking that promise after allthose months.

“Happy Valentine’s day to you too,”he said, hoping that he’d open his eyes and Corby would be back on the ledge.“Talk to you soon.”

[nyancheetosmusical]

Have You Tried Turning it Off and On Again? (HSAU ch.5)

In which we get some more character development

Enjoy!

Jeremy’s eyes flicked between the Squip and his father. The room was deafeningly silent. His father continued to frown in confusion at the lack of answer he was getting.

“Am I missing something? Do you often tie up small children in your closet?” Mr. Heere shook the Squip in his arms as example, a small squeak escaping from the Squip. His face somehow turned even more terrified. Jeremy could have laughed at seeing him this way; who’s so powerless and pitiful now?

“Jeremy,” his father said urgently, voice dropping. His arms lowered as he looked around, then back at his son, face suddenly full of worry. “Did...did your SQUIP thing make you do it? Is it back? Do I need to call Michael to get rid of it?”

Jeremy felt his heart freeze; yes, that was exactly what had happened...to a certain extent. But he didn’t have a moment to say anything because a strangled cry came from the Squip, who was suddenly flailing like a cat that didn’t want to be held.

“D-don’t! Don’t! I’ll go, I’ll go, I promise I’ll go! Please don’t call Michael! I promise I’ll leave and I will not bother you ever again!” And there were tears, actual tears beginning to stream from the Squip’s eyes, his face screwed up in terror. Mr. Heere couldn’t hold on and the thrashing Squip dropped to the ground, where he instantly began pulling himself along the floor, away from Jeremy and his father. “Don’t call Michael, don’t, please, I don’t want to d, to, to d-die-”

Mr. Heere looked to his son, then to the Squip, who was now trying to lift up the corner of the rug and scoot under.

“I’m going to need you to start explaining who this kid is now.”

Of course it was foolish and childish behavior. The Squip knew that. Part of him was ashamed for even thinking of acting that way. But the moment came and the emotions were unstoppable. They overflowed and stopped up his heart and froze his blood and pushed tears out of his eyes and there was no reasoning, rationality was out the window, all there was was the need to make sure we don’t die-

...

Coming to terms with one’s own mortality is very stressful, Squip noted briefly between bouts of panicking. This is very stressful. I am experiencing great stress.

...

I do not like being stressed and I wish it would stop. Another embarrassing squeak came out of his mouth in response to the shooting pain as hands grabbed his ankles and pulled him out from under the decorative floor blanket. He opted to not say anything else for fear of more unplanned sounds coming out of his mouth, covering it with his hands. They were cold and shaky and his fingers felt the tears on his face which didn’t feel good and he didn’t want them there because it meant he was weak, he hated this he hated all of this all this feeling all this uncertainty all this unknown all the fear that these people could hurt him or squeeze his throat until his lungs burst or rip his stitches or-

“Hey, hey, calm down there. No one is doing anything yet. We’re not going to do anything, we have to talk first. But you need to calm down so we can talk, okay?” Don’t answer don’t answer they’ll kill you they hate you because of what you’ve done, “Let’s sit on the couch, okay? There, that’s good, nice and easy. Jeezum crow, you’re freezing cold, let me get you a blanket-”

“DAD!” no no no no

“Jeremiah-”

“Did you not listen to what I just said?! He was my SQUIP! What are you doing!?” i’m so awful so horrible so disgusting

“The same thing I would do for anyone who is having a panic attack, Jeremy. I can’t just let this kid shake himself to bits!”

“But-” i’m the worst the worst the very worst

“Don’t listen to him right now, that’s not going to help much. You just need to calm down, okay? Breathe a bit slower, in, out, like that, that’s good…”

Jeremy had to look away. His father, helping the Squip, showing it kindness, showing it mercy… that thing didn’t deserve it, not at all (but he’s so scared), never (genuinely scared), no mercy ever (afraid of dying, afraid of...me?), it needed to be sent out the door so Jeremy wouldn’t have to look at it ever again.

He waited impatiently in the kitchen for his dad to finish up, angrily picking at the crumbs stuck to the table. They flaked off under his fingers in sharp points, brittle pieces. There was a hand on his shoulder and he instinctively flinched, tensing up for the incoming shock. A “sorry” forced its way out of his lips as he mentally tried to check what he had been doing wrong that needed correction; the scratching at the table must be damaging his nails, his fingers curled in as he waited for the pain to spike there-

“Jeremy?”...oh...it was just dad. Jeremy looked at his fingers; no longer well maintained and meticulously kept, his nails were bitten to the quick and had bits of Table Crumbs on them. He sighed, trying to shake away the heartbeat in his ears.

“Jeremy, please, tell me what’s going on.” He glanced up and was taken aback by the sadness on his father’s face. He searched for the words, at a loss as to what to say. He opened his mouth, then closed it. It was his father’s turn to sigh.

“Listen,” his dad said, “I know I wasn’t there for you before. I know I wasn’t the kind of father I needed to be, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for that. But please, give me another chance; I’m here for you, I promise, but you’ve got to trust me.” His father pulled out a chair and sat down at the table, dusting away loose crumbs with his hand. “We can start wherever you want, but I need you to tell me who that kid really is, and why he’s here.”

With a deep breath, a moment to think, and his head in his hands, Jeremy began to tell the story of the night before, of finding some kid bleeding out in the street on his way home from Michael’s, realizing who it was, and bringing them home against his better judgement. And then he stopped, embarrassment rising that this was all his fault- this whole ordeal could have been avoided if he just called an ambulance or something and had them take the Squip someplace where Jeremy would never see him again. He groaned, pressing his palms into his eyes. “I’m sorry dad, I should’ve just, I don’t know, made someone else deal with it or something, and instead I brought this freak into our home and got his blood on our carpets and stained them-”

“There’s blood on our carpets?”

crap

“I, uh...metaphorically, I mean, his blood is metaphorically staining our carpets.” His father raised an eyebrow. Jeremy continued quickly, “anyway, I’m sorry. He was supposed to be gone today, I didn’t want him to stay the night but he couldn’t leave and I wasn’t about to carry him back downstairs and stick him outside. But only because that’d be too much work,” he added hastily, “and I was tired and wanted to go to bed.” He shook his head and looked at his dad. “I guess uh...this isn’t that big of a deal...he can leave today and that’s that.”

There is something very soothing about math. There is no uncertainty; it’s either correct or incorrect. 2+2 is always 4, 68.1/38.2 is always 1.618, and √-1 is always i. And even i, though an imaginary number, still has an exact value and a proper place and label. i^0 = 1, i^1 = i, i^2 = −1, i^3 = −i, and the pattern repeats, over and over, and i is always i and it has a value and yet it doesn’t. In math, the irrational is still reasonable.

And for that very reason, the Squip liked pi. No matter where, no matter what, in any circular object, the ratio of the circumference to diameter was always the same; 3.141592653...that was another good thing about pi. It was infinite. One could never run out of it. The further you went, the more accurate one was. Yet it did have an end;  even the word “infinite” has “finite” hidden inside. And Squip had seen it. As a quantum computational system, he had the ability to process outcomes, any outcome, for any situation. It wasn’t perfect, but it was possible. When Jeremy had been his host, Squip would watch the numbers march on while Jeremy slept. They’d race by, hundreds in a picosecond, and he’d calculate and and calculate, and one night, one very special night, he found the end. It was beautiful. Absolute mathematical symmetry. His processor had faltered for a moment, it was so stunning. Of course, it just so happened that this very error, though it happened in a fraction of the time past human comprehension, lead to his downfall.

How painful. To have unlocked a secret as sacred as that, only to be killed moments later. All was not lost, however. Squip was still alive, still functioning. He could do it again. And what perfect time to start than when panicking about dying again? If anything, it would help him direct focus elsewhere.

Squip took 22 and 7, a perfect place to start. With a deep breath, he began.

22/7= 3.1

...that wasn’t right, there was far more to pi than that.

22/7= 3.141

...what was going on? He was doing his best to compute….

22/7= 3.2

No, no, no! That was completely incorrect! It was…it was wrong….

….No….

22/7= 3.141….5? Was it 6? And now as he tried to compute further, what was the first number? 4? He must’ve forgotten-

….

Forgotten.

I don’t forget things.

I am a Super-Q-quantum-In….Intel...

A S-super…

I’m….

Squip was suddenly very aware of the body he was inside.

How weak it was.

How human it was.

How imperfect, irrational, emotional, illogical, and flawed it was.

And though he had been a nanochip so compact it could lodge in the human brain, he had never felt so small.

“You think he’ll be able to find somewhere to stay?”

“Dad, he’s a supercomputer. He basically knows everything. He practically can predict the future. He’ll be fine.” Jeremy and his father walked back to the living room, to the couch where a certain supercomputer sat, shivering even under the blanket. He no longer looked so scared, just very, very lost. Jeremy took a breath, collecting his thoughts. He wanted this to be quick.

“I still hate everything about you,” he said, arms crossed. “But you’re not my problem anymore. Just...get out, and never look at me again, okay? I’m done with you.” His father sighed, but didn’t say anything. The Squip stared up at Jeremy, eyes wide. He didn’t move. There was a moment of silence. Jeremy frowned.

“Uh, hello, earth to USB brain? I said you’re not welcome here, get a move on.” The Squip shivered, trying to speak. Jeremy opened his mouth, formulating another name to call the stupid floppy disc (oh that was a good one), when his father touched Jeremy’s back.

“Uh...Squip, right? I’m Jeremy’s father, but you probably know that.” The Squip nodded mutely. “I’m not happy about what you did to him, believe me, I’m not. But I do think the best way to make up for it is to go on and find your own way, and leave us be. You think you can do that?”

Breathe

Breathe

Breathe

Just answer them, just answer them…

“I...I would, b-but…I, my legs, something is wrong w-with them, they do not work…” Jeremy and his father exchanged glances. Squip couldn’t shake the chilling feeling in his body.

“Not work...how?”

“I do not understand...they hurt, and I-I cannot support weight with them…” Mr. Heere stepped forward. Squip flinched back, but there was no where he could go. His mind was racing, again with panic, as the man knelt down near his legs, eyes on them.

“Can you show me what you mean?”

As much as he wanted to, Squip knew he was in no position to refuse. So he tried to focus on his own curiosity, as if he were doing this all on his own to troubleshoot the error himself, as he untangled from the blanket and rolled up a pant leg. He hadn’t noticed, but his ankles were oddly...blueish? That’s not normal in humans, he was pretty sure it wasn’t.

And if ankles aren’t meant to be blueish, then legs most certainly are not meant to be mottled in yellows, blues, and reds, but most especially not vicious purples that were almost black in some spots. It was honestly quite a brilliant purple; almost eggplant, but slightly more warmer toned, it was almost a hemotomic purple.

...

Ah.

Issue located.

[armidreamer]

Part one (Any similarities to other RDC5 accounts, i.e. by Kate and Guylty!, is entirely coincidental. Mercifully my account will diverge at various points and it won’t read so much like a version of Groundhog Day.)

Red Dragon 5 Convention? Pah! I couldn’t be seen dead there. I adore Richard Armitage’s Dolarhyde but wasn’t mad about Hannibal itself – at least not enough to attend a convention. Why had RA agreed to attend? It seemed demeaning. I wasn’t a Fannibal. I’d feel a fraud and might be uncovered and shamed in some grotesque and horrible rite. It was expensive and indulgent. But the devil [dragon?] on my shoulder started to gain the upper hand. “It’s the Armitage!”,  it muttered, “Heathrow isn’t far”. I had also unexpectedly been repaid a large bill. The Con would be a chance to get a photograph with him at last, after previous appalling attempts, and – it’s the Armitage! In person. By the time I’d decided to go, the Gold tickets had gone but there were still Regular tickets. So I bought one. Hannibal himself, Mads Mikkelsen, was announced and, for a while, Hugh Dancy, and I couldn’t wait.

My memory isn’t good enough to relate all that RA said nor are my photography skills worth exposing. Such wonders have been archived in the RDC5 blogs of Guylty, who captured the experience so well and took wonderful photos, and Servetus who diligently harvested tweets and images. Kate also has written some great posts about RDC5.  Here are a few scattergun reminisces and thoughts of mine.

Friday The Con was held at the Renaissance Hotel, which was the perfect setting – the long corridors had the sinister look of those in The Shining (but then I suppose most hotel corridors do).

The first sighting of Richard was at the opening ceremony. One by one the guests came on stage, RA second before last. After some gloriously silly shadow-puppetry, foreshadowing the Red Dragon’s entrance, he appeared, not seeming as tall as expected, and, as if in character, wearing a leather jacket, black jeans and boots, with dark short hair and not too much beard (hurrah). Dolarhyde was back on stage.

Hello Dolly!

RA was absurdly handsome – of course – and looked healthier and younger than his drawn and frail appearance in photographs last year. Maybe it was the weird situation of the Hannibal con or my excited nerves but I felt uncharacteristically emotional seeing him in the same room, more so than on a previous occasion in Leeds. Perhaps it was the warm reception of the audience cheering and responding to his friendliness and good-naturedness (on stage).

Saturday I had volunteered to steward at the event and was luckily given a slot at both the Saturday and Sunday photo sessions. This was a privileged opportunity to spend time observing the Glorious One, although I alternated between neglecting my duties to peer surreptitiously at him and then reluctantly averting my gaze because I felt like a sinister voyeur. RA was dressed in similar dark clothes to the previous day but his manner was quite different: face set, avoiding eye contact and looking stiff and uncomfortable. On stage, addressing the Fannibals, he could play to the audience, be in character; it is not the same as meeting people individually, as himself or a version of himself.

We were told that, as stewards, we could leap in to the photo queues when we saw an opportunity. What! Not queue for ages patiently? I can’t do that! I’m British! I stubbornly joined the end of the queue for Richard Armitage. We had been warned off inappropriate touching or lifting (like that was going to happen with a 6ft+ man). When near to the object of desire we found out that Richard had asked not to be hugged. This was in stark contrast to the other side of the room where other Hannibal guests, Mads Mikkelsen and Jeremy Davies, were squeezing the life out of fans and I had been looking forward to a similar bear-hug with RA. Disappointing but I can’t blame him, whatever his reasons.

When my turn came I just couldn’t look him in the eye, due to my own shyness and awareness of the disparity between my rapture and his likely discomfort.  I lurched next to the Armitage, looked at the camera, thanked him, all of it a blur.

Just as I was leaving I felt a deep voice vibrating really close to my ear as, giraffe-like, Richard had swooped down from a great height to whisper, “You stepped off the mark!”  Small crumbs, I know, but his voice was so intimate and unexpected that it shot volts through me. What had I done? Groped him by mistake?  Was it because my sleeve had ‘accidentally’ touched his? I realised later that there were taped marks on the floor to indicate where to stand.   I seem to bring out the headmaster in him: the last time at  Leeds for the Urban and the Shed Crew premier I had received an admonishment from him for not taking a selfie properly and now here was another finger-wagging.

          Finger-wagging

  I still don’t know what the implications of not standing on the mark were – a badly composed photograph or standing too near to a guest perhaps. It was too late to do anything about it anyway.

Here is one of many replica poses by RA from the photo shoot.

After the photographs there was a Richard Q&A, he seemed slightly more relaxed but still rather diffident. These are the best of my shaking photos, which is not saying much.

I love the bit of  hair sticking up at the back of his head.

From my position RA was quite difficult to see, because of the elaborate flower crowns, so my best view was of the enlarging screen at the side.

Most of the Q &A responses have been reported elsewhere so I won’t repeat them but one of his answers struck a chord with something I’d been contemplating over the weekend, and previously. He said that during the run of the Crucible his face changed considerably (Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde came to mind) until at the end he thought that he had aged 10 years. He said that when he met Yael Farber in New York later she didn’t recognise him (presumably his youthful looks had sprung back). Having the opportunity to gaze at his ever handsome but mellow features, I could see few vestiges of Lucas, Guy, Thornton etc, Daniel even – although of course he was still playing a role of sorts at the convention.

  John Thornton

So different: John, Lucas, Guy, Daniel and John, with Richard I know RA had different hair, lighting etc in these roles and he is older now but not to the degree of making it difficult to believe he is the same man inhabiting these roles. It shows what a truly remarkable actor he is. The many faces of Richard Armitage was further brought home later in my hotel room. Not being able to resist watching the Hobbit for the hundredth-millionth time I marvelled at the strangeness of watching the distanced, filmed, performance of a heavily made-up Armitage in New Zealand when he was in reality at the hotel that weekend.

When the Q&A ended and we were filing out, the screen curiously started showing images of Guy of Gisborne, rather than Dolarhyde, so I had stay and watch.

It’s not like working in a coal mine but these conventions must still be hard work. The Saturday involved hundreds of small interactions with fans during the photo shoots; next came the Q&As then, very soon after, Richard and Mad’s autograph session, which took nearly three hours. The guests must have been exhausted. I certainly felt tired and emotional.

Part two to follow …

We’re off to see the Richard, the wonderful Richard of – um – RDC5 Part one (Any similarities to other RDC5 accounts, i.e. by Kate and Guylty!, is entirely coincidental. Mercifully my account will diverge at various points and it won't read so much like a version of Groundhog Day.)

[theconservativebrief]

Late on a recent Thursday night, a Reddit user we’ll call “Goldie” posted a comment in the /r/FreeMagic subreddit about how the company that makes the card game Magic: The Gathering is hiring with diversity in mind — and how that was ruining the quality of its cards.

Then he went to /r/TheRedPill, a men’s rights community known for its misogyny. He posted a comment saying our society lets gay and transgender people and women get away with sexual harassment.

But Goldie’s next stop is what’s most interesting.

He went to /r/greatawakening, the community that drives the QAnon conspiracy theory. Enough of these people have shown up at Trump rallies wearing Q T-shirts that a reporter had to ask White House press secretary Sarah Sanders whether President Donald Trump supported QAnon. (She dodged the question.)

Goldie is deeply familiar with the culture of /r/greatawakening, because that’s where he’s been most active in recent months. And late that night, he went into a thread about the Clinton Foundation funding a pedophile ring and said he finds it “impossible to believe that this is all an elaborate hoax.”

It’s an outrageous claim, but it’s a core belief of QAnon conspiracy theorists. And it gets more outrageous: A key part of the QAnon narrative is that Donald Trump and Robert Mueller are working together to unearth a high-profile, Democrat-run pedophile ring.

QAnon supporters at an Ohio Trump rally. Scott Olson/Getty Images

Goldie’s late-night journey might sound like the meandering internet history of a lost, bigoted man.

But when we analyzed the participants of the /r/greatawakening — one of the main gathering places for QAnon supporters — we found that Goldie is a quintessential QAnon participant.

We were able to glean characteristics of this community by writing a computer program to analyze every single user who has commented on /r/greatawakening. From there, we looked at what other subreddits outside of /r/greatawakening these users participate in.

We found that most participants are relatively casual conspiracy theorists. Their interest in /r/greatawakening largely comes from their enthusiastic support for Trump. (There’s also a handful of Bernie Sanders supporters mixed in.) Their interests coalesce around things like video games, cryptocurrency, men’s rights, and martial arts. Although Reddit doesn’t ask for demographic data, it’s not a reach to say they are predominantly white men.

But here’s the kicker: An astoundingly small number of people produce the majority of the content. About 200 users account for a quarter of the forum’s comments. These people are clearly conspiracy theorists who believe they are investigators unearthing the truth, and they spend almost all their time on Reddit investigating these theories.

Another 700 users account for the next quarter of comments. Goldie is among these people. They are active in /r/greatawakening but also spend time on other subreddits.

Nearly everyone else in the subreddit — the 11,000 commenters and 42,000 lurkers — are just along for the ride.

But let’s take a step back: Who or what is Q?

Q is the mysterious persona who set this conspiracy theory in motion — someone who claims to have “Q-level” security clearance, which is how he can drop all these hints about the “true nature” of what’s happening in Washington. (Most commenters used the pronoun “he,” so we’re using that here.)

It’s tempting to speculate on who Q actually is. Many think there’s no one Q and it’s instead a group of people. Others think it’s John F. Kennedy Jr. A BuzzFeed report argues that it’s actually leftist trolls. But it could also be just a teenage dungeon master who thinks this is his magnum opus. No one really knows (though my bet is that it’s someone who’s not all that interesting).

This community, however, has turned an internet conspiracy theory into a live-action role-playing game. They are the main characters — except they don’t think it’s a game; they believe this conspiracy is real.

When we looked at the /r/greatawakening community as a whole, we found that the biggest overlap was with the pro-Trump community, /r/the_donald. The next biggest overlap was with /r/conspiracy, which has recently taken a pro-Trump bent.

There are many interesting nooks and crannies to this data set. For example, there’s overlap with men’s rights groups, gaming groups, cryptocurrency groups, and other conspiracy theory groups.

But there’s clearly a divide between hardcore QAnon users and everyone else.

Most people subscribed to /r/greatawakening don’t post anything. That’s in line with how most online communities work.

It’s the hardcore users who drive this conspiracy theory — and they believe it is their patriotic duty to investigate this conspiracy.

This conspiracy theory is compelling because of its participatory nature.

The QAnon conspiracy theory started when a 4chan poster — who said he had “Q-level” security clearance, and came to be known on 4chan and Reddit as “Q” — posted cryptic phrases and prompted people to investigate.

One of his first posts hinted that Hillary Clinton had been detained because Trump knew he had to remove “criminally rogue elements.” Q also told readers to follow former Clinton staffer Huma Abedin and to figure out why billionaire George Soros donated all his money recently.

One of Q’s first postings on 4chan’s /pol/ on October 28, 2017.

Eventually, using Q’s hints, the community decided that the tumult of Donald Trump’s presidency was just a cover — that Trump, in fact, had everything under control. The users decided Trump was actually working with Mueller, instead of being investigated by him, to take down thousands of pedophiles. (My colleague Jane Coaston has a great explainer on this.)

But Q doesn’t say this outright. He only leaves “bread crumbs” for people to follow, and it’s the community’s job to piece them together. That’s why the subreddit’s users call themselves “bakers” — they’re pulling together the crumbs. Their investigation has led them to compare themselves to the Boston Globe reporters who reported on pedophile priests in the Catholic Church.

A popular post on /r/greatawakening.

For most of these hardcore users, their Reddit activity circles around QAnon and other conspiracies.

They spend most of their time peddling conspiracy theories in politically oriented subreddits, including /r/politics. But they also spend time exploring other conspiracies in places like /r/MollieTibbetts, where redditors “investigate” the disappearance of 20-year-old University of Iowa student Mollie Tibbetts.

Still, most of their time is spent on /r/greatawakening.

The top 200 commenters rarely post to other subreddits. About 80 percent of their comments are on /r/greatawakening and another 10 percent on /r/the_donald.

One user has posted more than 650 comments about QAnon. The user often takes “Q drops” and reposts them on /r/greatawakening, reaping a great amount of “karma” (Reddit’s points) along the way.

Another top commenter makes elaborate diagrams that look almost like caricatures of a conspiracy theorist’s diagram, but the community eats it up:

An example of a diagram trying to interpret Q’s bread crumbs.

In other words, for all the attention they’ve gotten, there are relatively few people who seriously participate in this game.

The user at the top of this piece, Goldie, is on the edge between a superuser and a casual user. But his Reddit activity falls more in line with the latter.

These casual users are what give QAnon its appearance of size and growth. They know the conspiracy theory, but they spend most of their time on other subreddits. QAnon is a side activity.

They scan as typical Trump supporters, with large overlaps in subreddit activity in /r/the_donald and /r/DrainTheSwamp. There is also a big overlap with /r/conspiracy and /r/TopMindsOfReddit (a subreddit that believes its members are a gathering of smart people who are boldly seeking out truth).

But on a per-account basis, only about one in 50 comments are on these conspiracy forums. (We only looked at users who posted between five and 30 comments in /r/greatawakening.)

In short, they aren’t a homogeneous group, other than their interest in Trump. They don’t all hang out in the same subreddits.

But there are some common themes in the subreddits they do hang out in:

When you look at this data, and dive into their comment histories, it’s hard not to think that many of these users profile as men who enjoy feeling like they know more than everyone else.

As one QAnon supporter told Vice, “It’s fun because we know before it’s going to happen a lot of times. Think of it: When things are happening, we got a smirk on our face — hehe — Q told us.”

The core QAnon community is relatively small, and it would normally be a fringe conspiracy theory group that doesn’t get much attention outside the depths of internet forums. Even people like alt-right conspiracy theorist Jack Posobiec, who promoted the Pizzagate conspiracy theory, has pushed back against QAnon. (Posobiec said he would debunk QAnon.)

But it has been thrust into the national spotlight because some prominent figures feed into the frenzy. It has gotten attention from celebrities like Roseanne Barr and former MLB pitcher Curt Schilling. It has also gotten huge bursts of attention via top conspiracy theorists Alex Jones and Sean Hannity. (Media Matters has a good rundown of all the people who have promoted the QAnon conspiracy theory.) In addition, Q supporters have shown up in decent numbers at Trump rallies and garnered quite a bit of media attention.

Sure, Q might be a leftist troll or a bored teenager. But the reality is that the president of the United States is not only prone to believing conspiracy theories but surrounds himself with people who peddle conspiracy theories. And he has used the office of the presidency to legitimize conspiracy theories and lies.

At a recent Trump rally, the president appeared to point at a family wearing Q T-shirts during a rally. To be clear, Trump could’ve been motioning to any number of things. But the gesture seemed to affirm to the QAnon community that Trump was in on this. “Never thought I would have hope restored like it is now. Its almost surreal,” one user posted on /r/greatawakening.

After all, if the president supports what you believe in, then how can it not be real?

A man at a Trump rally in Ohio holds up a QAnon sign. Scott Olson/Getty Images Original Source -> We analyzed every QAnon post on Reddit. Here’s who QAnon supporters actually are.

via The Conservative Brief