#and the ultimate frustration is the topic has drifted so far off course

[whitehairedanimeboyfriend]

Conversations on here will basically be like

"Hey these new reproductive rights issues are affecting trans men too so let's make sure we include them in the conversation, instead of calling it women's health issues."

"Would you stop complaining? Trans women have it worse than trans men. TERFs want to kill us but only detransition you."

"If living as the gender you are not is so easy why would you transition in the first place? Obviously trans people transition because they can't live with existing as a gender they are not. Obviously "just going back" isn't an option because we often fail to behave the way we're expected to anyway. Forcing any trans person to detransition is a death sentence in and of itself."

"Why are you always speaking over transfems when we talk about transmisogynistic violence???"

[radamazard]

From Me to We

This is my piece for the DJWifiZine! Everyone who contributed to it is honestly awesome and so talented, so you should go check it out at @thedjwifizine

You can download it here!

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The lights flickered in time with a tired sigh, throwing darkness over pages that had already left Nino feeling increasingly frustrated. What was it about old timey books that made them so… so obtuse!

Had it's previous owners meant to mock him? If so then he guessed they ought to congratulate themselves. Never before had anything left him feeling so completely and utterly defeated.

With that thought and a heavy groan, Nino let the tome hit the cushion beside him.

“Waaaaayzz,” he whined, earning a dry look from the kwami. “How the sweet heck am I meant to read this crap? No offence. I know this is, like, your idea of fun and all, buuuut…”

“None taken,” Wayzz replied, drifting down to sit upon his holder’s shoulder. “I understand that it is a rather…” he paused, seemingly taking a moment to choose his next words carefully. “...dull and dense text. But you were chosen to inherit this role, and with it comes certain responsibilities. Such as-”

“Readin’ old books drier than the Sahara Desert?” Nino scoffed, leaning back into the worn comfort of his couch.

“At least you’re allowed to read them!”

Ah, he was wondering when she was going to join the conversation.

Across the room from him, grumbling to herself from her squeaky desk chair, sat Alya. Her legs were crossed and her form hunched, a sure sign that she wasn't quite over being scolded by the tiny god of protection earlier this evening.

“Aww, come on, babe.” Nino attempted to assure her. “I promise, you're not missin’ out on anything exciting here!”

Well, not anything that he himself would find exciting. To be perfectly honest, he wasn't sure why he'd had the title of guardian thrust upon him. Hero stuff wasn't really something he was passionate about. It was just something he did outta a sense of duty.

Alya though? Now SHE was someone who woulda been squealing at the opportunity. She dug this kinda shit.

Thick, boring books full of lore and secrets that had to be decoded and unravelled?

The responsibility of deciding who was worthy of the same power they wielded, and who could never be allowed even near a miraculous?

The weight that such a position held, and the changes it would bring with it?

That was right up her alley!

It was the ultimate hero's life, all stress and life altering decisions and sooo much information that it made his brain wanna shrivel up and roll right outta his head. This was her dream, not his.

Yet here they sat, neither of them pleased with the cards they'd been dealt.

Man, was life ever a bitch.

“.... Okay, so maybe it'd be exciting to you,” Nino conceded as his girlfriend threw him an irritated glare, one that only softened as she took note of how exhausted he seemed.

Alya pulled herself away from her desk, crossing the room in a few quick steps before she dropped herself next to her beloved with a graceless thump.

“I know you're not trying to make me feel like shit, boo,” she assured him, although with how he slouched into her side Alya was getting the feeling that, perhaps, he felt he had failed in that. “It's just…”

A strong arm wrapped itself around Nino’s shoulder, and with one smooth motion he was pulled into the warmth of Alya’s embrace. It was a comfort, a silent reassurance that no ill feelings were shared between them. That even if the situation was less than ideal, they refused to let it sour their bond.

“Sucks major ass?”

“Couldn't have said it better myself, Neens~”

Alya felt the beginnings of a smile tugging at her lips, one that was awfully contagious as she caught sight of the same beauty blossoming upon her boyfriend's gorgeous face.

“You know I'd give ya the damn title if I could, right?” Nino said with a slight shrug. “I wasn't really gunning for something like this. Or even remotely wanting it.”

“Maybe that's why the old fart gave it to ya,” Trixx chimed in, his sudden presence making the couple jolt comically. Alya threw a pointed look at her kwami, one that went entirely ignored by the mini master of mischief.

“Just saying! I mean, isn't that what boring old humans do? Give power to those that don't want it?”

“As much as I disagree with his choice of words and blatant disrespect for my former master,” Wayzz retorted with an air of annoyance. “Trixx does have a fair point. I do believe that Mas- that Fu’s choice, or at least part of it, was based on a lack of desire. One that does not desire power is far less likely to abuse it.”

Wayzz’s own lack of tactfulness earned him a nasty look, from both his chosen and his fiery partner. Unlike Trixx though, he at least had the decency to appear guilty, knowing that he lacked a certain level of social savvy. The fox instead had whizzed off to find a new place to nap. How typical of him.

“I did not mean anything offensive by it,” the kwami quickly added. “I do not believe that Miss Alya would ever abuse such power! You have proven to be a hero of great honour and responsibility, and I would never wish to besmirch your name with such dirty implications…”

“I'd hope not, little dude,” Nino said firmly, the sternness in his gaze starting to melt as Alya relaxed beside him, along with her grip that held his lanky frame. “I love ya, but Als is my frickin’ Queen. I ain't about to let anyone talk smack about her, not even you.”

“I would never. In fact, if it would assure your fears, I will let it be known that Miss Alya was Fu’s second pick.”

A beat of silence passed, broken only by the slight cry of shock that fell from Alya's slackened jaw.

“You… You can't be serious! Was I- I could of- What?!”

“Oh, but I am. You possess a brilliant mind, and a passion for knowledge and the history of us kwamis that is both pure and unrivalled by anyone alive today. To be completely honest, the perfect guardian lies somewhere between you both. It made the decision terribly hard…”

As he trailed off the silence returned. Unlike last time though, it stretched out, filling several long lasting minutes.

Nino felt Alya’s cheek come to rest upon his head, and even from where he rested, his face pressed into the crook of her neck, he could hear her heart race. Was it excitement, the idea that she was thought of so highly by someone she deeply respected? He hoped so. She deserved at least that.

No, she deserved so much more.

“You right there, Als?” Nino whispered against her skin, laying a gentle kiss to her thrumming pulse. To his delight he felt her shiver beneath his lips, egging him on to smother her in a flurry of feather light affections.

“I will be once you stop being such a damn lovable DORK,” Alya shot back, her cheeks ablaze. It wasn't often that Nino managed to catch her off guard as such, not that she was complaining of course. She loved him dearly, with his sweet tenderness and near endless patience for her more… wild ways.

But right now was meant to be serious talk time!

“Well excuuuuuse me, Princess!”

Oh, how her eyes rolled.

“Anyway, back to the topic at hand. You know, the one where I was ALMOST THE GUARDIAN? I seriously can't believe that I was this close to being allowed to read the same book that you wanna throw in a fire!” Up went her hands, and with them Wayzz, who hopped out of the way of any further hand shenanigans and took refuge on the arm of their couch.

“Like, come on universe! I'm sorry that we can't just fuse or mind meld or be co-guardians or something equally as ridiculous!”

“Man, that last one woulda been hella sweet. Could you imagine? This shit would be so much easier if we could tackle it together. That damn book would be halfway understood by the end of the year if you were actually allowed to read it!”

Together they sighed, almost dreamily, as though the idea was but a wish, one fit only for fairytales. Or perhaps a low budget rom com, like the ones they enjoyed playfully mocking every Friday evening. Ah, for their lives to be so stupidly simple.

“Don't even say it, babe. Don't give me dreams that can't be fulfil-”

“Co… Guardians?” Wayzz interjected, drawing their gazes to his suddenly pondering form. “I hadn't thought of that option. Neither of us had. It certainly isn't traditional, but Ma- but Fu has never been one to follow tradition. Does that truly matter now in the scheme of things?”

His tiny brow creased in deep thought, so much so that they feared he may give himself a headache. Then, without warning, the kwami was zipping across the room, coming to rest upon the coffee table where Nino’s phone lay.

“What are yo-”

“I am contacting Fu. This new guardianship is only days old, you see. We should still be able to make amendments. With this new idea presented I believe we may be able to reach a more agreeable situation for all.”

“You… You mean…”

“Yes, Miss Alya. Now please, a moment of silence.”

The couple shared a look of bewilderment, one that swiftly morphed into giddy delight as the meaning of Wayzz's words and the hushed conversation he was having, started to settle in.

“You don't think…?” She started.

“Heck yeah I think!”

“I wasn't even being- well okay, I HAD thought of it before, but I didn't seriously think that it could happen! But now it’s- Neens, I might-!”

Excited giggles burst forth between them, both barely able to contain the jittering joy that flourished between them. What once had seemed like a sore point now pulsed with a new life, promising a future that held them together closer than ever before.

Strange, how quickly one’s night could turn from a grouchy sort of sour to a sweet, bubbly delight.

Together they tittered, their conversation an excited mess of hardly hushed whispers and tightly gripped hands. The energy was punctured by a familiar, yet sharp throat clearing, which snapped their attention back to the awaiting kwami.

“Although our conversation was brief, and we will meet at a later date to discuss the details, we are both in agreement. A Co-Guardianship is something we are willing to trial. If you will both agree to this arrangement, that is.”

Wayzz watched with a delighted chuckle, already braced for the squeals and hollering of joy that were soon to follow. Ah, to be young and so wonderfully human, to find such happiness in something shared.

“Are you kidding, little dude? Of freaking course I agree to this shit! Als, did ya hear what he sa-”

“SIGN ME THE FUCK UP!” Alya shouted in pure, unfiltered glee. Within seconds she was reaching across her boyfriend, grabbing the tome that had been the source of so many nasty feelings not even half an hour ago.

Nino’s easy laugh filled her ears, and soon it vibrated against her lips, gobbled up by a kiss of pure, vibrant glee that left them both more than a little love drunk.

“I swear, I- no, WE won't let you down!”

We.

Yes, that had a nice ring to it.

We, as in friends.

We, as in lovers.

We, as in heroic partners.

We, the Co-Guardians of the Miraculous, together until death do us part.

[starry-satoru]

BTS Reaction: Cheating Part 2 (Hyung Line)

A/N: I have finally concluded the series I started this blog with. Damn, that took way longer than necessary, but it’s here and that’s what counts. Sorry that these vary so much in length and quality. Writing reactions is harder than you think. This is not my favorite piece of writing I’ve done, but that’s okay. I hope you guys enjoy it!

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Sensitive relationship topics and cursing

Requested?: Yes

Hyung Line: Part One

Maknae Line: Part One, Part Two

Jin

   It has only been two days. Two goddamn days since you found out Jin had cheated on you and you wanted nothing more than to crawl back into his arms. You felt weak and foolish, but your heart ached for him. You couldn’t help that.  Nothing could. Not the countless bowls of ice cream you ate or cheesy rom-coms you forced yourself to watch. Hell, maybe you were just making things worse for yourself. You wanted to hate him. More than anything you wanted to cut him out of your life completely. But you knew you could never do that. You were in far too deep at this point and you were in love with Kim Seokjin.

   You were in love with his goofy laugh that always made the joke funnier than it actually was. You were in love with his carefree attitude that had gotten him into more trouble than he’d ever admit. You were in love with how he could care so deeply. You were in love with him and you knew in your heart that you always would be.

   As you sat in bed on the third night, scrolling mindlessly through Netflix for the hundredth time, Jin called you. It was the 12th time that day. You had counted. Your hand clutched the remote as if to stop you from reaching for your phone. Normally it worked, but tonight your resolve was nowhere to be found. You grabbed your phone and took a deep breath before answering.

   “(Y/N)?” Jin’s tone came out as a mixture of surprise and relief.

   “J-Jin,” you stuttered out, becoming choked up at the sound of his voice.

   “Baby, I’m so happy you answered. I’ve been so worried about you. I’m so sorry I did this to you. I’m so sorry. I’ve missed you like crazy and it’s only been a few days. God, it feels like a lifetime. I’m not sure how much longer I can go without you. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. The boys are beginning to get frustrated with me but they don’t understand. They don’t understand what it’s like to fuck up so bad that you lose the love of your life. They just don’t-”

   “Jin,” you cut off his rambling, “can you please come over? I need you.”

   “Y-yes, yes, baby, of course. I’ll be there in ten. I love you.”

   With that, he hung up, not even giving you a chance to respond. You got up and unlocked your front door so he could let himself in before heading back to bed and burrowing under the covers. Your heart was pounding and you began to think that you might regret this come morning, but right now you didn’t care. You were sick of crying yourself to sleep at 3 AM. You wanted to fall asleep in his arms again.

   After a few minutes passed, you heard your front door open and close briefly. Jin loudly made his way down the hall and you smiled to yourself. You had always told him to walk a bit quieter or your downstairs neighbors would file a noise complaint, but now that sound was music to your ears. Neighbors be damned. He rushed into your room, a disheveled mess. He hadn’t brushed his hair and he was in a pair of old sweats and your favorite hoodie. Yeah, Worldwide Handsome was looking a little worse for wear.

   “(Y/N),” he breathed, before climbing into bed with you and pulling you close. “I’m sorry, baby. I really am.”

   “Shh, Jin. We’ll talk tomorrow. Right now I just want you to hold me,” you whispered, gripping his hoodie in your hands and resting your forehead against his. Jin nodded slowly and wrapped his strong arms around your frame. His embrace caused your body to relax into him. Your legs tangled themselves together under the covers and you could feel his heartbeat against your palm. You fit each other perfectly. You felt safe. You felt at home. You felt loved.

   You were almost asleep when his voice caught your attention.

   “(Y/N)?” Jin mumbled.

   “Mmm?” You remained still in his arms, your eyelids barely even fluttering open.

   “I love you. I-I just didn’t want you to ever doubt that again, okay? I found out that it’s the only thing in my life that I’m sure of. I love you, (Y/N),” he whispered, his voice filled with sincerity. Despite being half-asleep, your heart swelled at his words and you found yourself filled with nothing but love and affection for the man beside you.

   You pressed a soft kiss along his jaw. “I love you, too, Jin. More than anything.”

Yoongi

   Yoongi was everywhere, quite literally. Every time you turned on the radio or TV, his face was flashing on the screen. He was the talk of the Kpop world after what went down a couple weeks ago. It wasn’t your fault. You were content to forget all about the man. You weren’t looking for revenge, but you couldn’t say the same for the other woman. She had taken Yoongi’s betrayal a bit more to heart than you had, and contacted every news station that would listen to her story. Naturally, the press ate this up. They would be stupid to pass up an opportunity to defame a member of one of the biggest Kpop groups in the world at the moment. A small part of you felt bad for him. Only a small part. The larger part of you was relieved to see that he was getting even just the smallest taste of his own medicine. Besides, if your social media was any hint, his fans were remaining loyal to their cheating idol. Yeah, he wasn’t hurting too badly.

   Despite all of the commotion around his name, Yoongi had yet to make any comment on it. No public statement of any kind. You pictured him holed up in his studio, probably scribbling lyrics into his tattered notebook. He was good at hiding away when he wanted to. You could recall many instances in your relationship where you wouldn’t see him for days because he was in that damn room. You rolled your eyes at the image. Maybe that should’ve been your first warning that things weren’t going to turn out well for the both of you. There was always something more important than you. In the end, it just turned out to be another woman.

   Beside you, your phone buzzed. It was Hoseok. You two were close friends before you and Yoongi had even met. He’s been doing his best to help you through this, which mainly consisted of him keeping your anger in check. Not an easy task because, damn, were you livid.

   “Hey, Hoseok,” you answered, laying down on the couch.

   “Yoongi is gone.”

   You immediately bolted upright at his words. “What do you mean ‘gone’?”

   Hoseok sighed. “Gone, (Y/N). We can’t find him anywhere.”

   “Have you checked the studio?” You couldn’t keep the bitterness out of your voice as you spoke.

   “Yes, of course, we have,” Hoseok replied. You had never really heard him like this. He was worked up, but you still didn’t understand where you fit into all this.

   “I understand you’re worried, Hoseok, but why call me? I haven’t talked to Yoongi in two weeks,” you told him, running a hand through your hair. Were you nervous? No, no, Yoongi was a grown man. He could take care of himself.

   “I know, but we’ve looked everywhere. We were hoping that you could possibly know a place that he could be, ya know, hiding out or something.”

   “I don’t know, Hos-”

   “Please just think, (Y/N). He’s never done this before. We’re scared.”

   “Okay, okay,” you wracked your brain desperately before you finally conjured up a location. “Well, there may be one place.”

   “Where?” Hoseok’s voice took on an eager tone as he talked.

   “It’s kind of a hole-in-the-wall, mom and pop restaurant. It’s hard to explain…” You drifted off, trying to think of a way to direct him to it.

   “You go.”

   “W-what? Me? I’m not-”

   “Please, just do this. Not for Yoongi, but for us, (Y/N),” Hoseok begged. He knew you couldn’t object to that. You would do anything for Hobi.

   “Okay, fine.”

   “Yes! Okay, let us know if you find him.”

   Before you could say anything else, or possibly back out, Hoseok hung up. You groaned and threw yourself back down onto the couch. You couldn’t believe you were actually going to do this. Stupid Min Yoongi.

   You slowly made your way down the meandering city streets, your only map being your memory. You were sure you weren’t going to find Yoongi here, but there was still a nervous fluttering in your stomach. As you approached the shabby little shop front, you let out a sigh of relief. There was only an elderly couple sitting inside. Deciding not to waste the trip out here, you stepped inside and went to order your favorite dinner. That’s when a dark figure in the corner caught your eye. You begged yourself not to look, knowing exactly what you would be met with, but you’ve never been one to listen to logic.

   There he was hunched over a bowl of noodles, hoodie pulled down over his eyes and a black mask covering his face. Despite not being able to see his features, you knew it was him. You were all too familiar with his presence. You debated for a second on whether or not to talk to him or just tell the boys you found him. You ultimately determined that the boys would probably want you to talk to him anyway, so you may as well go ahead and bite the bullet. You took careful steps toward his table, almost as if you were trying to get close to a frightened puppy.

   “I won’t bite, (Y/N).” His raspy voice startled you.

   “Oh, um, I was just-”

   “Hoseok send you?” He asked, looking up at you. You just nodded.

   “Figures,” he scoffed.

   “They’re worried about you,” you informed him, remaining still.

   “Yeah, I’m sure they are,” he said, his voice apathetic.

   You shook your head and took a deep breath. “Okay, listen here, Min Yoongi. Your friends are worried sick about you and you couldn’t give two shits? I don’t even know why I’m surprised at this point. You’ve clearly always been a selfish bastard.”

   “I-”

   “No, no, you are going to listen to me, dammit. Quit wallowing in self-pity for five minutes and listen. You brought everything onto yourself. This is no one else’s fault except your own. Can’t you just accept that and move on? Your members need you and want to help you but you just push them away. I know how that feels and it fucking sucks, okay? So, just get over yourself and go back home, Yoongi.” Your chest was heaving by the time you stopped talking. Adrenaline was rushing through your veins as you said everything that has been on your mind for weeks. You were so caught up in your words that you almost didn’t notice the tears glistening in Yoongi’s eyes.

   “I-I’m sorry, (Y/N). I’m so sorry,” he mumbled through tears. He did look genuinely sorry but it was too little too late.

   “I appreciate that Yoongi, but I can’t forgive you,” you replied, shrugging your shoulders. He nodded in understanding.

   “I don’t know why I did it,” he admitted, his lower lip quivering. “I honestly have no fucking clue. I-I thought coming here would bring some clarity to the situation. Remind me of how and why I fell in love with you.”

   Your heart clenched in your chest at his words. This is where you had your first date with Yoongi. Coincidentally, it’s also the place where you were bringing him lunch from on that fateful day two weeks ago. Yeah, the location was now bittersweet to you, to say the least.

   “Yoongi, you really should go home,” you insisted, avoiding his gaze.

   “(Y/N), will you ever forgive me?” He asked quietly.

   “I-I don’t know,” you answered honestly, and you watched his eyes grow sad.

   “I don’t blame you. You deserve better,” he said, slowly getting up from the table.

   You just nodded and stared down at your feet. He made his way beside you and you knew he wanted to reach out, but he decided against it.

   “Promise me something, yeah?”

   You looked over and met his eyes.

   “Give Hoseok a chance. He’ll treat you better than I ever did. Trust me, he’s said so at least a dozen times a day since everything happened.” With that, he gave you a small smile and disappeared around the corner.

   You stood there shocked for a second. Hobi? Did he really like you? It was all too much for you to handle at the moment. You quickly sent a vague text to Hoseok telling him Yoongi was heading home, before collapsing in the chair across from where Yoongi sat moments ago. Like Yoongi, you were hoping to find a little bit of clarity. God knows you needed it now more than ever.

Namjoon

   It had been months since you caught Namjoon fucking another girl in your apartment. You did exactly what you promised and cleared your stuff out of the place you once called home. You purposely waited until Namjoon had left for BTS’ Japan tour to gather your things. You didn’t want to see him again because, as much as you hated to admit it, that boy held so much power over you. You fell hard and fast for Namjoon in the beginning. The man had you mindlessly planning your wedding after the first few dates. Yeah, your feelings were intense, which made his infidelity all that much harder to cope with. Even with all this going on though, Namjoon still somehow looked out for your feelings by keeping his distance. Damn him. He hadn’t tried to contact you since you walked out that day. You hadn’t even heard a word from the other boys. It was probably a blessing in disguise, but when it all went down you felt terribly lonely and thoughts of crawling back to your ex were all too enticing.

   Now you were stronger. You had the time you needed to heal. Namjoon was but a haunting name from your past. You had even started dating again, and it was actually beginning to get quite serious. Of course, due to who you were dating, this fact didn’t remain a secret for long. Yeah, hiding a relationship with the Kyungsoo from Exo was impossible. You were pretty much hated by fans of both groups. It was hard at times but you were used to it. Plus, you remained the winner, in the end, no matter what.

   The day your relationship with Kyungsoo got exposed, was the day that all too familiar name glowed on your screen for the first time in months. Your heart dropped to your stomach. Why now? You took a deep breath and picked up on the last ring.

   “Hello?” You answered quietly.

   “(Y/N)?”

   “Yeah…”

   “Is it true?” Namjoon asked although you could tell by his voice that he didn’t really want to hear your answer.

   “Yes, Namjoon. I’m with Kyungsoo,” you replied, your voice steadier than expected.

   “Really? I didn’t want to believe it. I figured your standards were a bit higher than that,” he said, bitterness coating his words.

   You scoffed, “Apparently not. I dated you, didn’t I?”

   “Ouch, okay, I deserved that one. I’m just looking out for you, (Y/N). I hear things. I don’t want to see you get hurt again,” he mumbled.

   “Whatever, Namjoon. I appreciate the sentiment but it’s a little late.”

   “I still love you. If anything happens, you can come to me. I’ll always be here for you,” he insisted, his voice raw with emotion.

   You sighed. “Goodbye, Namjoon.”

    A few weeks later you were attending an awards show with Kyungsoo. It was the first time you would be in the same building as Namjoon. Luckily for you, it was a big building with a lot of people. The odds were in your favor. You sat down beside Kyungsoo along with his members. He had been so caring since you began your relationship. His mere presence was comforting, something you were sure you would need before the night was up. BTS was said to be performing a new song tonight to kick off their comeback. No one knew what to expect. Deep down, you did.

   As the lights went down in the stadium, your heart began to race. Seven lights lit up the massive stage as familiar faces lit up the big screens. Here we go. The music started to play, slow and melodic. The boys walked up to their respective mics. Namjoon was front and center. From the first lyric, you knew the song was about you. Kyungsoo knew this too. His hand found yours underneath the table and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Namjoon didn’t have any lines for the first couple of minutes, letting the vocalists carry most of the song, but you knew he would have a message for you. As the song came to a close, the three spotlights on both sides of Namjoon went dark. All you could see was him. You shook your head and looked away. He did it on purpose.

   You thought about leaving, but that would just draw attention to you, and not the good kind. Namjoon’s words echoed throughout your chest as he stood on stage. You couldn’t stop listening. You were hanging onto every word and he knew you would. A man who knows his power is dangerous, and Namjoon was the most dangerous of them all. The song finally faded into silence and the stadium erupted into cheers. If only they knew. The stage went dark but not before you caught a glimpse of Namjoon’s tear-stained face on the big screen. Kyungsoo kissed your temple sweetly, but it did nothing to keep your own tears at bay. Memories of your relationship came flooding back to you. If Namjoon wishes he hadn’t fucked up, you wished it even more. You wished it so badly, but you can’t change what happened because he did fuck up. That was that. You had moved on. Your heart still ached though, and Namjoon had taken advantage of that. Now you just felt empty. You weren’t sure if you would ever be the same after Namjoon, but you knew you had to try.

   “Are you alright?” Kyungsoo asked, leaning in close to you.

    You nodded solemnly and turned your face toward him. He reached up and gently wiped away your tears. “I will be.”

Hoseok

   You barely even made it out of the BigHit building before Hoseok was chasing you down. If you didn’t mind causing a scene in the middle of the crowded street, he wouldn’t have had a chance to catch up to you. You weren’t that type though, so you tried your best to lose Hoseok in the crowd. Yeah, not a chance. You never left his sight. He shouted your name desperately, getting weird stares from passersby. He couldn’t care less. He just needed to get to you. You were about to turn a corner when you felt his hand wrap around your wrist. You sighed in defeat and slid down the wall in a heap.

   Hoseok kneeled in front of you, his eyes red and cheeks puffy.

   “(Y/N), please just listen to me,” his voice was shaking. He held your face in his hands, forcing you to look at him. You let him. You didn’t have the energy to fight back.

   “I don’t have feelings for her, (Y/N). I don’t, okay?” You could tell he wanted nothing more than to see you nod in understanding but you just stared blankly ahead. “Please, please, please, baby. You’re the only girl I am deeply in love with.” He was on the verge of hysteria.

   “Then why did you do it, Hoseok?” You croaked, tears constricting your throat.

   He choked back a sob. “I don’t know. Between the song and the energy...she just leaned in and I didn’t stop her. I’m so, so sorry, (Y/N).”

   “It shouldn’t be that easy,” you mumbled, hot tears streaming down your cheeks.

   “I know, I was weak. I-I have no excuse for it, but it will never happen again,” he insisted. Now his hands were shaking as they moved to grasp yours. “I love you, (Y/N). Please don’t leave me.”

   “Hobi,” you muttered, his face lit up at the sound of his nickname. Hope lit up his features as he stared back at you. “I love you, too. I’m not going anywhere.”

   Tears of relief streamed down Hoseok’s face as he pulled you into his chest, cradling your form in his arms. “Thank you so much, baby. I promise that I will earn your trust back. You will never doubt my love for you ever again,” he whispered, pressing chaste kisses over every inch of exposed skin he could reach. “I can’t believe I almost lost you.”

   “Shh, can we go back my place now, Hobi?” You asked, just wanting to be held in the comfort of our own bed.

   “Of course, baby. Come on.” He took your hands in his and pulled you to your feet. At that moment his phone rang.

   “Hello?” He answered.

   “I’m not coming back today, sorry.” He squeezed your hand.

   “No, I’m not. Cancel the damn performance for all I care. It was more trouble than it was worth anyway. Trust me.”

   With that, he hung up. You giggled quietly, “You’re going to get yourself fired, Hobi.”

   He pressed a kiss to the top of your head and smiled. “As long as I have you, I can handle that.”

   You walked hand in hand back to your small apartment. As soon as you entered the doorway, Hoseok dragged you to the bed, insisting on taking care of you. He hummed cheerfully as he methodically pulled your clothes off your body. He barely even glanced at your bare form as he quickly dressed you in your favorite pajama set. It might have been his too, but he’ll never tell you that. He even went so far as to carefully remove your makeup and apply your moisturizer. You smiled widely as he applied the cold cream to your cheeks.

   “What are you smiling at, gorgeous?” Hoseok laughed, stroking your face softly.

   “My precious boyfriend,” you replied, causing a blush to rise on his cheeks.

   “I’m anything but precious, baby. I nearly lost you today,” he said, avoiding your gaze.

   “Hey, people make mistakes, Hobi. What you did wasn’t unforgivable. I’m still here and madly in love with you,” you insisted, your face serious.

   “Thank you. Now, let me brush your hair. It’s my favorite thing to do,” he excitedly jumped on the bed and placed himself behind you, brush in hand. You laughed and relaxed into his body as he ran the brush through your hair. You could stay like this forever.

   “(Y/N)?”

   “Hmm?” You hummed, eyes closed in contentment as he ran his fingers through your hair.

   “Do you want to move in together?” He asked quietly.

   Your eyes shot open in shock. “W-what?”

   “We’ve been dating for a year and a half, and I’m sick of sleeping alone when you’re just minutes away.” He shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal.

   “I-I-”

   “You don’t have to answer right now. It’s just something to think about,” he said, pulling you into his chest and wrapping his arms around you.

   “No, Hobi, I-I would love that,” you told him, turning around and placing a kiss on his surprised face. You giggled as he pushed you onto your back and excitedly attacked you with sweet kisses.

   “Ugh, I can’t want to do this every day,” he laughed, hovering over you with a goofy smile on his face.

   “Me neither, Hobi. Me neither.”

[lucius-morningstar]

Reasons I ship Bumblebee/Bumbleby

(Re uploading due to some issues sorry for bugging people.) Please keep in mind that these are my reasons and yes while a lot of them might not make the greatest of sense some might not even appeal to you. A few of these I did get from watching a video or reading a topic but a lot of this I try to explain in the best way I can. Enjoy and if you have any you’d like me to throw in for a future topic please don’t hesitate to ask or message or whatever you want. I ask for no hate please if you disagree that’s fine not everyone has to agree with me but please don’t hate or attack because you don’t ship them. —————- Now before I begin this let me go ahead and explain to you that this will be a long journal. This may or may not take some hits from or towards other ships and I may rant and kinda drift off for a moment but let me do my best. It will start off with an analysis of each character and how compatible they are among the other reasons why they should be together. First things first we are going to look at the lyrics of some of the songs. Ones that stand point out Blake and Yang in a sense and while yes this doesn’t really prove much to the ship being canon but it already points out a few significant points to the characters as a whole. I will not take the Bmblb song into consideration because it was denied to be a song towards that ship. Whether it’s denial to stop fanbases from fighting or genuinely true is for us fans to consider but I will not add it in here as a bit of proof on my end. Red like roses fills my dreams and brings me to the place you rest White is cold and always yearning, burdened by a royal test Black the beast descends from shadows Yellow beauty burns gold While this is the lyrics to Red Like Roses Part 1 it actually goes into a bit of detail of each character with only just a few words. Of course we’ll be focusing on the third and fourth verse. Black the beast descends from shadows and Yellow beauty burns gold. Thus giving away Blake and Yang. Now we all know who Blake and Yang are suppose to represent within the fairy tail world. Blake is meant to be belle from beauty and the beast while Yang is meant to be goldilocks not a great connection I know but when you dive further into the story itself you see there is far more to Yang then simply beauty just as there is far more to Blake then dark and mysterious though it suits them both just as well. There is also a song on the v1 volume known as Wings. Which if listened to could be directed to Yang talking to Blake. However this is just for speculation it isn’t confirmed either but if you listen to some of the lyrics here it kinda makes you think. However I am more or less taking this bit here from a youtuber known as RarityDash. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHLCU9a0KKI (Go to 2:53 if you want to hear his side or listen to the whole video.) A lot of these will come from other people’s perspectives too so keep in mind I will try my best to give credit where credit is due. ———————————— Now with this introduction lets get to know each character personality wise. Looking up Yang’s information on her personality this is what we get, Note it will not be the full personality because it dives into v3 and I’m trying to focus on what we know around v1-v2. And yes I know a moment from v5 is kind of in here but it might help along when I forget. Yang’s voice actor, Barbara Dunkelman, has said that when Yang’s character was described to her, she was described as “the kind of person who would teach someone how to swim by pushing them in the water”. This speaks volumes about how Yang approaches most things in life. She is very straightforward and confident. Yang is also described as being a cheerful, energetic and bright young lady. She is arguably the most flippant, carefree and adventurous member of her team, frequently making sarcastic comments and jokes even in the heat of battle and often taking combat and hostile situations lightly. Yang is very sociable and extroverted, even in unfamiliar situations. Blake considers Yang the personification of the word “strength”. However, Yang’s “brawler” fighting style is evocative of her personality. Her anger, one of her main assets in battle, can lead her to act predictably. —- As it states Yang is more or less a down to earth confident young woman with a cheerful attitude and a straight forward sense of direction. She is also a huge extrovert but like many she has her faults. One of which is her anger that as stated can lead her to act predictably. It causes her to run head on in the face of danger not thinking before acting which we’ve all seen where that leads. But I’ll get more into that later, For now lets focus on our next character. Blake Belladonna. —- Blake is described as being “mellow” by her voice actress, Arryn Zech. She displays a cool, reserved, and serious personality most of the time but does not lack a humorous side usually in the form of dry wit and sarcasm. Blake is a righteous person, respecting other people’s lives regardless of whether they are Faunus. She strongly despises those who judge and discriminate based on racial prejudice. Blake is outspoken, going so far as to indirectly insult the Schnee Dust Company in front of its heiress and defend Faunus of any kind. Blake is shown to be an introvert. Though she reads books to distance herself from the discussion at hand, as the series continues, she is shown to be more facetious and friendly. Blake appears most conversant when discussing the history and plight of her people. As a Faunus, Blake has faced discrimination in the past and wears a bow when around humans in order to be treated for her character and not her species. However, despite having no hate for Humans, she has seen how the real world works and wonders how she can undo so many years of hate and pain. —- As this personality information states Blake is more or less closed off and always hidden. She prefers to keep to herself and likes to keep her past in the past. Because of all the years of pain she’s had to go through both by human and faunus Blake has major trust issues, even with other faunus (Like Velvet or others) Blake comes off as kind of a well as the post says an introvert, Blake has no desire to make friends or get close to anyone she just wants to become stronger and find a better way to figure out her life all while running from her past. She prefers to be by herself and in this is where things start to get a little interesting to me. —- V-1 & V-2 analysts: Blake and Yang’s introduction to one another and their development through v1 and v2. Now to get off upon Blake and Yang’s very first meeting is more or less. Stiff I guess would be the best way to put it. The one character that actually brings the two together is Yang’s younger sister (half sister) Ruby. Wanting to encourage her sister to make more friends Yang tries to converse with Blake as she reads. Yang tries very hard multiple times to get Blake to open up and make conversation, going out of her way to compliment everything about her but it is ultimately shot down just as many times as she tries. After growing frustrated she proceeds to tell Ruby that she’s a lost cause. This is within the first episode of all of them meeting keep in mind these episodes we’re insanely shorten the beginning of it’s run time. Now lets go to the first initiation, where the teammates are meant to find their partners on their own being sent off into the woods one by one and the first person they make contact with is the first person they’re destined to be with for the next four years. We see Yang looking for anyone but is intending to try to find her sister Ruby but instead finds a few rather agitated Ursa who waste little to no time starting a fight with our lovely blonde heroine. Upon fighting the ursa the first one is taken out with little to no problem up until it cuts her hair which Yang ends up going on a rampage and destroying it within seconds. Taking out the second was easy an she was pumped to take out the third only for Blake to come out of nowhere and take it out for her. Yang implies she could have taken him and honestly I think Blake knew that. So here’s where my curiosity gets the better of me lets skip back just a little. Now skip back a little a few seconds back into the video and before Yang finds the ursa you see something shift past the screen. That something if paused at the right time is more or less identified as Blake. Now here’s something that interested me, Yang openly admitted that Blake was a lost cause the very night before, Blake showed little to no interest in talking to Yang and going out of her way to ignore her kind actions as best as she possibly could. Yet Blake is following Yang willingly stalking her until the perfect moment. Blake could have very well picked anyone else but she chose to be Yang’s partner. She witness Yang take on an ursa by herself, witness her anger get the better of her and that alone should have been a red flag to find someone else but she chose to stay and chose to reveal herself to Yang. Chose to be her partner, right off the bat something is off here. Blake was made out to be an introvert who wants as little human interaction as possible or at least as little interaction with people as possible. She didn’t come to beacon to make friends we find that out later on so why choose the second most friendly and outgoing person in the bunch. One who is the complete opposite of her in almost every way where Blake prefers the dark, Yang shines in the light and where Blake prefers to be alone, Yang prefers to be in the crowd. These two are more opposite then you can get and yet somehow they make it work, Blake even smiles a few times at Yang’s rather dorky yet sometimes slightly oblivious behavior. So my question for this is what made her pick Yang over anyone else. She could have chose Weiss, the two would have avoided each other barely became friends or chose Ruby someone who of course wants to be friends but is too shy to really be open and talk about anything other then books which probably would have settled better with Blake. (NOTE: This is more from an idea on how I think Blake’s perspective would be before Team RWBY was even assigned) However she chose someone who actually wants to get to know her and here’s where my reasoning comes into play. ————– Blake was always someone who was judged simply on her looks never one to be approached with a kind nature and her somewhat stiff persona often led others away then towards. Yang however was more then willing to outright introduce herself knowing nothing about Blake but never stopped to try to make her feel like she could be comfortable if that makes sense. Also if we take into account the first thing Yang compliments is Blake’s bow the one thing Blake uses to hide her secret that she feels would change how the people acted around her, as we find out a little later on Blake wants people to like her for who she is not for what she is. Yang right off the bat accepts every part of Blake without even knowing anything about her. Yang while wanting to know about Blake never pushed her into giving away more then she was comfortable with. While Yang is a boisterous character with a somewhat childish personality at times she genuinely shows a great amount of care and respect for the people she meets something Blake probably didn’t come into contact with often. In her eyes out of the choices she had Yang was probably the best choice by far. ————– Now lets go to episode 15 of Volume 1: After a fight with Weiss over a group known as the White Fang, a group of faunus who thrive to make the world better for the faunus but have turned rather dark over the years. Blake accidentally lets it slip that she was not only a member but is also in fact a faunus upon discovering this she wastes no time in leaving for fearing they would not accept her. During their search for Blake, Yang is kinda well not harsh but firm on Weiss for not being more concerned about their teammate. Ruby wanting to know Blake’s side of things while Weiss is quick to judge Yang’s only concern is for Blake’s safety, they’ hear her side of the story when they found her and when they knew she was safe. That was Yang’s first and only concern for the time being was for Blake’s safety. She not only goes out of her way to worry for her saftey but is more inclined to hear her side of the story before jumping to any harsh conclusions like Weiss did, meanwhile Ruby is honestly just trying to be the neutral party wanting to avoid as much conflict between her friends as possible. Eventually she does grow frustrated with Weiss asking if she even cares if they find Blake putting Yang in a more frustrated state of mind but does put that behind her for the sake of Blake being safely found. In Volume 2 episode 1 Blake is staring at her notebook while looking a bit out of it which causes Yang’s once again kind nature to shine on through and ask if Blake’s alright. Again something I’ve noticed with Yang is she tries not to force the situation when Blake doesn’t want to talk but instead of pushing the issue she goes straight to trying to cheer her up. Making her smile and laugh quite a bit in this episode more near the end though I’ll admit it was mostly just a food fight scene so it’s kinda hard to really look into this episode in any other way but comedic. Anyway in the next episode Blake is once again troubled and when she opens up to her friends on what she wants to do. Yang is one of the first to agree stating in a rather odd tone that she says and I quote.“Yes, I love it when you’re feisty.” and Blake even kinda gives a small smile to it enjoying the fact that Yang loves that she’s passionate about something that means so much to her and is enthusiastically wanting to help fight along side her. The tone alone in how Yang says that line however kinda leads you thinking and wondering what Yang really meant and for me it was more of a curiosity as to how often is Blake feisty around Yang that she has to point out how much she loves it. Anyway lets keep going. In volume 2, chapter 4 Blake shows a lot of concern for Yang while she’s fighting against the paladin. Now here’s something that has been also pointed out by RarityDash. Blake was aware of Yang’s semblance, she has seen it in action during the initiation yet still shows a great deal of concern towards Yang when she’s hit. She’s been with Yang long enough to know how her semblance works yet calls out for her like this is the first time she’s seen it. Now comes to the more obvious scenes people have grown to love and that is Chapter 6 of Volume 2, When Blake goes into an all out funk trying to figure out the White Fang’s plans, barely eating, barely sleeping and not stopping to just relax and have fun not only does it worry Ruby but it also worries Yang. While Yang doesn’t show it she makes it clear that whether Blake wants to or not she does intend for Blake to be at the dance one way or another. After a rather amusing way of distracting Blake to follow Yang, she takes her off somewhere alone so they can talk in private. Instead of Yang giving her a hard time or forcing her to relax she opens up to Blake, she bares the pain of losing her mother both her real and her step mom as well as her abandonment issues too. Sharing a part of her that one can only assume she never really shared with Ruby. Her being too young to know any better and Yang being too ashamed of her own mistake at the fact that she had put her and her sister’s life in danger just to get answers. She had opened up a deep wound for herself on how her mother abandoned her for reasons she hadn’t ever got a chance to figure out. She explains to Blake that her selfishness to finding answers should have gotten her and her sister killed, More or less telling Blake that she’s afraid if Blake continues to go down this road it could very well lead her to her death. Blake is-or at least tries to be understand but also gently pushes Yang’s bode aside claiming that she isn’t a child and that show knows better which eventually does anger Yang and in this flares up her semblance. Something else I took notice too that when it comes to Blake, Yang can turn it on and off at any given moment. She expresses a great deal of concern walking up to Blake looking angry before hugging her and telling her that she doesn’t want her to stop she just wants he to slow down for her and for the people she cares about. Her plan was to put her trust out to Blake and hope Blake would trust her judgement enough to give herself a break if only for a night so she could relax and enjoy herself. Yang believed Blake trusted her that much and was willing to give that trust back ten fold just so she’d rest going out of her way to share something that deeply troubled her in hopes Blake would let it go at least for a night. That right there should speak in volumes on how much Yang cares for Blake. Not to mention the scene that happens after their open conversation but this is a scene that really set it for the fans was Yang actually temps Blake by telling her if she shows up, she’ll even save her a dance before winking at her and then walking away. She says and I quote.“And if you feel like coming out tomorrow, I’ll save you a dance.” This scene alone told me Yang was flirting and inviting Blake to join her for a night of fun and no I don’t mean the dirty kind but pretty much asking her to dance with her just came off as a bit more flirty then it should have. This scene didn’t even need to be added but RT threw it in anyway. If there was nothing there or no hopes of anything being there why throw in Yang teasing Blake this way. The talk sure but the flirting was just something they didn’t need to add if they didn’t intend for us to think something like this. Now Blake does go to the dance with Sun but makes it clear her first dance was spoken for which I found odd. Yang said she’d save Blake a dance, never insinuated that he first dance had to be with Yang yet she went out of her way to dance with Yang first and for the rest of the night while Blake’s having fun. Yang just watches, she doesn’t join in, doesn’t dance with anyone else she just kinda watches Blake from a distance. Even when dancing with Sun Blake looks in Yang’s direction if only for a few brief moments before continuing to dance. Now lets go to episode 9 of volume 2. During the teams first mission. Profess-..Doctor Oobleck goes out of his way to ask why Weiss, Blake and Yang want to be huntresses which they give but while their motives are clear they start to slowly question why they’re here, why they really chose it and what their real reasons really we’re. The three do talk it over each expressing their own insecurities on what they’ll do with their career. After hearing Weiss get down from her choices Yang doesn’t fall too far behind, however this kinda changes once Blake admits that she doesn’t know how she’s going to help her people. Yang’s attitude changes right off the bat as she tries to comfort Blake telling her that she’ll figure it out and she’s never one to back down from a challenge. In the second part of this episode (Episode 10 volume 2) Blake is still showing a lot of uncertainty on how she’s going to fix her problems. Claiming all she knows how to do is run which again Yang goes out of her way to make it clear she’ll figure it out. ———————- Now we’re onto v3 and v4 During the fight with Mercury while everyone is clapping Blake is actually the only one out of the team to stand up and clap for Yang (Again this is another part I got from RariDash, a lot will be used from other youtubers and topic post makers but I will be doing my best to add my own into it as well. After the fight with Mercury however and Yang is sentence on lock down Weiss and Ruby show no hesitation in believing Yang when she says Mercury attacked her first even if they din’t see it happen that way. However Blake is hesitate and that alone greatly worries Yang, she fears she is losing Blake’s trust and that hurts her more then anything else, she breaks down into tears almost begging for Blake to believe her. When Blake explains why. claiming “I had someone very dear to me change, It wasn’t in an instant. It was gradual, little choices that began to pile up.He told me not to worry, at first they we’re accidents, then it was self defense. Before long even I began to think he was right. This is all just very familiar..” she finds it hard to believe Yang she goes into detail that she her previous quote on quote partner (Romantic partner at that) had changed so quickly and part of her was afraid to give Yang that trust back in fear she was becoming like Adam. The fact that Blake compares the two of them says a lot on how she felt for Adam says even more about how she could possibly feel for Yang. The fact that Ruby and Weiss saw Yang attack Mercury but we’re still willing to believe her over what they actually saw barely gets any real reaction from Yang because all she wants is Blake’s trust in her. She wants Blake to believe her and the way she says Blake’s name just kinda breaks your heart it doesn’t sound like a friend hurt you no it sounds like someone who is very close broke your heart in a matter of seconds. This alone, the way Yang acts and the pleading in her voice makes Blake second guess herself, telling yang and I quote and is willing to believe Yang even after momentarily witnessing it for herself she is willing to put past what she saw and put her trust in Yang even if she has a slight bit of doubt she is willing to put that aside for the sake of Yang. After explaining her situation Blake then counters with.”But you’re not him, and you’ve never done anything like this before. So I want to trust you. I will trust you but first I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me he attacked you, I need you to promise me you regret having to do what you did.” After Yang confirms that Mercury attacked her first Blake just simply closes her eyes smiles a little and says.”Okay.” She is willing to put her own trust on the line simply because Yang told her so. The fact that she was willing to believe so much after being hurt by someone like Adam again it speaks in volumes on how much trust and care she has for Yang. When the battle for beacon finally does start Blake’s very first action is to call Yang and make sure she’s safe they both continuously make sure the other is okay. Her first concern is Yang and Yang’s first concern is Blake, something I found odd was that she didn’t dial Yang’s number on her scroll she just flipped it open and Yang popped up which brings to question does she have Yang on speed dial lmao sorry sorry anyway back to the topic at hand another scene that comes into play is something that always bugged me and made me wonder why. Upon Blake and Weiss splitting up, Yang doesn’t question where her sister is, her first and only concern is where Blake is. She puts her sister’s safety on Weiss who is very much tired and goes off to find Blake on her own. The fact no one has any idea where Ruby is doesn’t even get to Yang as she dashes off to find Blake. Now here’s something that got to me. Upon Blake and Adam’s fight once Blake is pinned down Adam makes to point out these exact words.“I will make it my mission to destroy everything you love.”  Literally no sooner does he say that does Yang come into view calling out for Blake. Upon seeing Blake’s reaction Adam continues with “Starting with her.” Which given v5’s sudden reveal it is possible that Blake is confirmed to be bi to some extent. Or at least curious. He actually stabs Blake in the gut just to get a reaction out of Yang and the reaction that Yang has when seeing Blake hurt is one that is both terrifying and heart breaking. She screams at Adam to get away from Blake before launching herself straight at him, eyes red filling with tears, hair ablaze and Blake is left witnessing in horror as Yang is easily cut through. Her arm is sliced like fucking butter I kid you not he makes it look too easy and Yang passes out from her aura being completely drained from her as well as probably from the pain in her arm (Or lack there of.) sorry. Adam goes to finish Yang off and despite Blake’s injury she puts herself in front of Yang to try and save her. Now here’s something people have been pointing out. Blake actually managed to make her semblance stronger due to needing to protect Yang. Meaning she not only made a duplicate of herself but quite possibly of Yang as well so she could get away with her. The fact Blake is able to get away holding Yang as well as dealing with her own injury again should speak in volumes. Then we have that heart breaking scene of Blake clutching Yang’s hand saying nothing but sorry over and over again while Yang lays unconscious. Now during V4 a lot of people complained about this but this volume was literally a recovery volume. For people to get over everything that happened at Beacon and to heal from their injuries both mental and otherwise. The ones who had to heal the most we’re Yang and Blake. Blake left in fear Adam would hurt or kill Yang so she went to the one place she assumes Adam wouldn’t think to look back home while Yang has to once again suffer through the fact she was abandoned by the people she trusted most. First she loses her mother, then she loses Summer, then her father goes into his own bout of depression leaving Yang to raise Ruby alone for a little while. Qrow constantly leaves on missions leaving Yang alone with her thoughts. As V5 explained Yang had no one she had to deal with this loneliness by herself. Also while this might not be something really big we can cling too if you to the episode with Yang watching TV she’ll stop and just glance over at a stack of books. Just staring at them for a moment before her father walks in. A lot of people speculate she was either A: Thinking of Blake, B: Thinking of Ruby or C: Just wanting to read. I can go with either first two choices, just figured I’d point that out. While she is dealing with her own personal demons as well as some triggering PTSD. We often go to Blake who is trying to come to terms that because of her Yang got hurt. Her guilt made her run, while it put these thoughts in her head that Yang would be safe if she left. As we delve in deeper Blake does nearly break down in front of her father after he apologizes for worrying about her. If Sun hadn’t come in I am almost willing to bet Blake would have poured her heart out to her father. Not confessing anything just how she felt and how she felt when Yang was hurt how and in v5 as Weiss somewhat put it “Everything she was afraid would happen did happen the second she let those walls down.”  During that time we are introduced to Ilia who had triggered another fear out of Blake when she had hurt Sun. Blake was furious with Sun before she once again poured her heart out. She never asked for them to put their lives on the line for her, she wants them to hate her because she feels like it would be easier to be hated then to be loved, She tells Sun she’s done seeing her friends hurt because of her, admits that every day she thinks about them and listing off each character Yang’s comes out the worst. Weiss and Ruby are equally missed but Yang. Blake comes off as if Yang is someone she misses so terribly that it hurts to even say her name. While yes she does admit that she loves them, all of them. The way she says Yang’s name leads me to believe that when she says “They we’re my friends, I love them like I never thought I could love anybody”. She thinks no- she believes they’d be better off without her that no one can help her and she’s better off doing everything alone, then Sun kinda does something out of character, for someone who has feelings for Blake he actually in my eyes it seems like he willingly admits defeat by saying this. “You think you’re being selfless but you’re not, and yea your chameleon friend got me good. But I’d do it all again if it meant protecting you and I can promise Yang would say the same.” He didn’t have to add Yang into that statement. He could have just kept it at I’d do it all again if it meant protecting you but instead he added Yang to it knowing how much Blake cares for her. Then he goes and adds to it by saying. “ You can make you’re own choices sure, but you don’t get to make ours. When your friends fight for you, it’s because we want too. So stop pushing us out, it hurts more then anything the bad guys could ever do to us.” In my head this is also something that is triggered towards Yang cause once again in V5 we see Yang state that Blake doesn’t have to do it alone and that she needs her as much as Blake needs Yang. ————————- EDIT: I Added a little more I had missed out on. It’s things like these if they’re small or insignificant to you that’s fine. Everyone has their reasoning for why they like something if my reasoning isn’t enough that’s fine. I just wanted to share. Sorry this was long and I’m sorry I didn’t offer pictures. Tumblr and the way it works is still an odd thing for me. But I hope you all enjoy reading it just the same. Also someone suggested I try White Rose next. I just might actually. I know it’s less likely to be canon but that doesn’t mean I won’t try and think of reasons. 

[kwangcvlt]

Gross Chapter 9

Pairing: Kaisoo WARNINGS: Depression and Eating Disorders

Summary:  “Kyungsoo knows he’s gross, he knows he’s disgusting, but here he is, in love with the most perfect man, he thinks, has ever existed.”

Masterlist AFF Ao3

“Kyungsoo,” He looked up at the woman sitting across from him, her faced cold, desperation encompassing her deep brown eyes. She let out a sigh, her face letting out tension, her few wrinkles deepening with the exhale. Kyungsoo had meant to ask her age, she looked to be in her mind 40’s but he had been wrong before. Her thick black hair framed her face, sitting heavily on her shoulders, every once in awhile she would flick it away in frustration. “Kyungsoo,” she repeated, effectively snapping the boy out of his trance. “Yes?” Mrs. Kim sighed again, “Kyungsoo, this is the third time we’ve met and we still have barely made way through the introductory stage.” Kyungsoo nodded, “Even though I have told your company several times the correct course of action is hospitalization, they seem to not want to listen. I understand of course that this can’t become public therefore you can’t be but,” she paused for a moment, eyes wondering as she sorted out her thoughts, “But you still need help and that’s what I’m here for. These weekly trips I make to your dorm don’t seem to be helping you open up, I’m backed into a corner here Kyungsoo.” “It’s just,” he began, trying to avoid the older woman’s curious eyes, “I don’t want to burden another person.” “Kyungsoo, asking for help, especially right now when you need it most, isn’t being a burden, it’s being human.”

Kyungsoo looked at her, “Being human is exhausting.”

She smiled softly at him, “I know,” she replied, voice gentle, “But it’s worth it when in those rare times it isn’t.” Therapy had been required by the company when they ultimately found out about him. Although none of the boys came forward when he asked who had told he had a sneaking suspicion they had all played a part in it. Kyungsoo wasn’t mad at them, he knew they were only looking out for him, trying to take care of him but he didn’t feel all that cared for at the moment. - Jongin hugged him as he and the rest of the members returned home. They always found a reason to leave the dorm before his appointment started, a way of giving him some privacy. He hated it. Him being yet another problem for them, another issue they had to find away around. He sunk into the warmth of Jongin’s firm arms. He sighed in relief. “Hey Soo,” Jongin whispered, “How was it today?” Kyungsoo nodded his head against his chest, “It was good.” Jongin leaned into Kyungsoo, their cheeks touching, the upward curve of Jongin’s mouth against his warm skin. His breath hitched for a moment, “I’m glad, I love you.” Kyungsoo now found himself smiling, “I love you too.” “Hey, love birds!” Jongdae yelled teasingly, “It’s time to eat!” All happiness Kyungsoo had been feeling left him, it was now time for his least favorite part, the one he couldn’t get out of. Where all 12 of them sat together and ate, the other 11 keeping a close eye on his plate with each and every bite. He hated it. He hated the feeling of food running down his throat, eventually landing in his stomach and adding weight. Thankfully it was the only meal in which they all ate together which meant he could get away with not eating for the rest of the day but it wasn’t enough. Late into the night when all the other boys fell asleep he would quietly pull himself out of Jongin’s arms, tip toeing to the bathroom where the scale lay, thrown off to the side. He watched the numbers slowly climb with each day, with each full meal he was forced to eat. He could see the little fat he’s lost steadily find its way onto his body as he racked his eyes over his mirrored figure. He forced another spoonful of food, trying to ignore the members content gazes with each bite. He ate slowly, hoping the others would grow tired of waiting and leave before he had to finish the entire serving they gave him. They caught onto this technique very quickly, instead slowing their own pace to match him. He was trapped. Forced to eat everything. Again, he wasn't mad at them, annoyed, yes, but not angry. He knew they thought this was best, making him eat but he only wanted to vomit, his body slowly building an intolerance to all foods, beginning to reject each and every calorie he forced down his body to appease the other members. He didn’t understand why he had to be born like this, so imperfect. Why he had to look into the mirror and only find flaws whereas others saw the strengths in themselves. Why his body despised him so greatly that during those late night trips to the scale he found himself leaning over the toilet, his body unsuccessfully trying to force every inch of food out of him. But he still gained weight. He just wanted to be thin and attractive, he just wanted to reach that goal that goal that had once been so close, just within his fingertips, the dream that was drifting further and further away, killing him. He took another bite, stifling a gag. How long would it take Jongin to get tired of him? To get tired of his gross body and even more disgusting brain that forced him to see everything the way he did. Sometimes he wondered why he still held on, not just to Jongin but his life in general. The group would be better without them Jongin would be better without him, no longer being anchored down to some hideous boy, free to date someone better, someone attractive. He pushed the thought to the back of his mind focusing on each bite of food he forced himself to shove into his face. “Kyungsoo,” Yixing began, “How was it today.” He paused for a moment not quite sure how to answer, they had avoided the topic of Kyungsoo’s therapy and illness so far, he’d assumed they would continue to do so as well. “It was fine.” Yixing hummed, nodding his head slowly clearly having more questions but keeping his mouth shut. He watched the older boy’s eyes flick down to his meal before quickly returning to his own. Kyungsoo looked back down, his meal wasn’t even halfway finished, it was going to be a long meal. - “Hey, Kyungsoo,” he turned to look at Jongin who was taking his shirt off next to his dresser, preparing for bed. Kyungsoo whipped his head back to its previous position, cheeks red. He coughed, “Yes?” “Do you think,” he jumped, feeling firm arms wrap around his hips, pulling him into Jongin’s bare chest, Jongin bent down to the smaller’s right ear, breath tickling the sensitive skin. “Maybe we could have some fun tonight?” Kyungsoo shivered, his mind briefly going hazy with the recollection of the night activities they had engaged in before. Then he remembered, the amount weight he had gained in such a short amount of time. The new larger fat that hung off of him that hadn’t been there before. Kyungsoo panicked. “Um,” he hesitated for a moment, would Jongin hate him if he said no? Would he leave him? Would he get angry, would he find someone who would say yes? “Soo,” Jongin spoke softly, grip tightening around him, “You’re thinking too hard for it to be a yes.” Kyungsoo stood still for a moment, “I’m sorry” he muttered. Jongin kissed the back of his neck, “What for?” “Well, you want to have sex and I’m letting you down.” Jongin pressed a gentle kiss to the back of his neck, “If you don’t want to have sex that’s fine, I still love you. I respect you, I love you more than anything, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” “I’m sorry, it’s just,” Jongin kissed the back of his neck again and Kyungsoo found all of the words he was about to say suddenly stuck in his throat. “I know,” He whispered on his throat, breathing tickling the small hairs that grew there, “And it’s ok.” Kyungsoo slowly turned around to look Jongin in the eyes, “Really?” Jongin nodded, placing a kiss on the tip of his nose, “Of course.” He leaned down kissing Kyungsoo, lips moving at a sweet, soft pace. The gentleness had Kyungsoo’s heart racing. His hands held on gently to Jongin’s sturdy shoulders. He nibbled at Kyungsoo’s bottom lip, increasing the pace, moving deeper into him before finding the right opportunity to slip his way past. Kyungsoo moaned lightly, his grip strengthening on the other boy. Jongin moved his hands up and down Kyungsoo’s back carefully forcing Kyungsoo further into him. Soon Kyungsoo found himself on his tiptoes, desperate for leverage into Jongin’s mouth. Jongin pulled away, leaving Kyungsoo whining. “I’m sorry,” Jongin whispered, “I know you don’t want to go any further, we should stop now.” Kyungsoo reluctantly nodded his head, even though his body begged for them to continue, his body played out all the possible scenarios of Jongin looking at him naked, disappointed. “Can we go to sleep now, Jonginnie?” Jongin grinned, “God you’re too cute,” Kyungsoo blushed, “Of course, let’s lay down, ok?” Kyungsoo nodded, already imagining the new number that would appear on the scale.