#and the whole thing with shandy is so????

[marchlione]

ngl the whole shandy plotline makes me feel like :\

[abovethemists]

The only ship I’m remotely invested in on Ted Lasso is Roy/Keeley so the fact that they’ve had about 30 seconds of screen time together in 6 fucking episodes and we didn’t even get an on screen break up makes me want to throw a chair at the TV like Isaac McAdoo.

[chaoticwhoknows]

sometimes i think about that “married a footballer” dialogue between shandy and keeley in s3 and want to shake the shoulders of whoever wrote it. not in a mean way i just need to understand that line bc i just… don’t. What Was The Point

[yelena-bellova]

Heartfirst: A Ted Lasso Story - Chapter Five

Chapter Five: Golden Boy

Plot: Zava arrives at Richmond and some of the staff are more thrilled than others…specifically Y/n.

Warnings: f!reader, language, (16+)

Word Count: 4.6k

A/N: This chapter was quick to be cranked out, and Mr. Tartt finally enters the chat.

I’ve gotten a few requests for tags and as with most my fics, I’m only tagging 16+ with ages in bios. Looking out for younger eyes 👀

Hope you enjoy this one!

——————

The moment Zava had uttered the word ‘Richmond,’ Nelson Road was thrown into complete chaos.

Y/n, Keeley and Higgins had been working overtime overseeing plans for the official welcome event. Not only did Zava’s level of fame demand a big deal, but the whole city of Richmond was beside themselves with glee. They had to go all out.

“Okay,” Y/n said, typing out a quick text at Keeley’s desk, “Higgins says the red carpet was just delivered along with the banners.”

“Perfect,” Keeley replied, ticking off a box of the event’s long to-do list, “Did he say anything about ticket sales?”

Y/n and Keeley had been double-teaming the matter of Zava’s recruitment and had been meeting or speaking each morning since the Chelsea match. They were beginning to find their rhythm, passing tasks back and forth with a smooth stream of communication.

“Sold out,” Y/n answered, locking her phone and setting it down with a smile, “And have you been checking Twitter?”

“Oh, I know,” Keeley’s eyes widened, “Richmond’s been trending nearly every day. The power of celebrity!”

It was a PR blessing. Zava’s signing with the Greyhounds had completely blotted out the sewer meme, Nathan Shelley’s hateful comments, West Ham…the world’s eyes were on Richmond in the best possible way.

“Alright, so 10AM for the event’s start,” Y/n ran her pen down her task-list, “I doubt he’ll want to take pictures with fans, but there’s time to. But maybe a group one with the team would be a good idea?”

There was a light knock on Keeley’s door.

“Come in,” she called.

Opening and revealing Keeley’s latest hire, her friend Shandy, Y/n instinctively stiffened a little.

“I just thought of a great idea,” Shandy said with great enthusiasm, “What if we had…Zava dancers? Like they get for sports in the States,” Shandy gestured to Y/n, ”What do you think?”

Y/n and Keeley both wore the same over-exaggerated smile as they listened. Visions of Laker Girls and Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders danced through their minds.

“That’s…” Y/n slowly nodded, glancing over to Keeley, “An idea.”

“It certainly is,” Keeley nodded back before turning to Shandy, “But I don’t think we’ve got time to pull it together.”

Shandy’s shoulders fell in disappointment, “Oh, that’s true,” she pointed between Keeley and Y/n, “But still, save it for another time.”

“Definitely,” both women replied encouragingly, satisfying Shandy enough to head back to her desk.

Spending so much time at the KJPR office had presented Y/n the opportunity to help Keeley get Shandy adjusted to corporate life. It hadn’t taken more than two days for Y/n to realize it was a task that might kill her. She was carrying on as a favor to Keeley.

“Oh,” Keeley reached across and tapped the back of Y/n’s hand, “How’s it going, having Trent around?”

“Well, he’s catching us on a good week,” Y/n sighed as she began to gather her things. She had to get to Nelson Road and help oversee set-up with Higgins. “To be honest, I haven’t seen much of him, or anyone for that matter. It’s just been me and Higgins rushing in and out of each other’s offices. And Dani knocking on my door at least once a day asking if we should be doing more for Zava’s arrival.”

Keeley smiled as Y/n’s sentences ran on, “Oi, remember to breathe.”

Y/n chuckled, she’d been holding her breath since her first day at Richmond. There was no exhalation in sight.

“I’ll breathe,” she replied, opening the door and looking back to her boss, “Once this is over.”

—————————

The next day, Nelson Road Stadium was bustling as soon as there was light in the sky. Come 10AM, the stands were packed with fans, all awaiting the arrival of the newest Greyhound….

Who hadn’t bothered to show up.

“Where the hell is he?” Rebecca hissed as Keeley, Higgins and Y/n all did double time on their phones, “Leslie! We do have a signed contract, don’t we?”

“Of course,” Higgins replied, “We have an e-signature. That’s legally binding,” his confident smile began to waver, “I think. I’ll make a call.”

Higgins went off with his phone while Keeley nudged Rebecca, “His agent hasn’t heard from him, but she’s tracked his phone, which is currently in Mykonos.”

“If he’s changed his mind again,” Rebecca whispered, “I’m going to look like an absolute asshole.”

“Well, there’s been no sightings of him anywhere,” Y/n continued scouring Twitter, “Doesn’t mean he’s not here…” she paused, flipping perspectives, “But it also doesn’t mean he is.”

“Maybe we can try and cheer them up somehow?” Keeley suggested, scanning the pack of bored reporters surrounding them.

Seated in the row behind them, Shandy popped up, “Do you want me to take my shirt off and run across the pitch?”

As Y/n attempted a deep breath, Rebecca smiled knowingly, “You must be Shandy.”

“Shandy’s shadowing Y/n and I for the day,” Keeley answered excitedly, “To get the hang of things, you know?”

“It’s so nice to finally meet you,” Shandy greeted Rebecca, “I’d love to go for a coffee and pick your brain sometime. Like, how tall are you?”

Y/n glanced up from her phone to catch Rebecca’s confused expression, meeting her boss’s eyes and giving a thin-lipped smile.

“Shandy,” Keeley turned to her employee, “Would you go to concessions and start selling merch at half price?”

“Great idea,” Shandy smiled before back tracking the step she’d taken.

“Keep your shirt on,” Keeley directed sweetly.

“Right, of course,” Shandy nodded, patting Rebecca and Y/n on the shoulders, “Bye, babes.”

“She’s a live one,” Rebecca chuckled before checking her watch.

If anything was said after that, Y/n’s ears didn’t register it. All she could hear were the mumbles and murmurs of the reporters surrounding them. Where’s Zava? Is he ever coming? Did he change his mind? Her mind was working overtime trying to figure out how to dig their way out of this, in case he really had ditched them. She couldn’t stand to have another failure heaped on her shoulders.

Ted’s midwestern accent broke through the noise of her head.

“Hey, guys,” he whispered, taking Higgins’ empty seat, “Are we sure that Zava has the right address? I hate to think he’s sittin’ in the middle of Virginia right now waiting for us, you know?”

Higgins came walking back with an answer, “So, I just talked to legal about Zava’s contract. An e-signature is 100% binding. Tiny wrinkle, instead of signing his name, he signed, ‘You’re Welcome.’”

Y/n pursed her lips, “Lovely.”

“Shit,” Rebecca cursed, her nerves growing by the second, “What are we going to do?”

“Hey, look, superstars play by their own rules,” Ted replied, “Back in ‘98, I waited over three hours for Public Enemy to take the stage of this joint called the Cubby Bear. When a man with a giant clock around his neck is that late, it ain’t about time. He’s makin’ a statement.”

As much as it pained Y/n to take anything real away from another one of Ted’s rambling tales, he had a point. How many asshole celebrities made a crowd wait just to get a little extra ego boost?

“Right,” Rebecca slashed her hands through the air, “I’m calling it. We’re going to go upstairs and figure out what we do next,” she looked to Higgins next, “Leslie, I want you to talk to the crowd and tell them…something.”

“Of course, Rebecca,” Higgins replied calmly, “I got this. Back in uni, my deejay name Damage Control.”

“I didn’t know you deejayed,” Keeley commented.

“I didn’t actually, but I had the name ready if I ever started.”

Y/n was beginning to feel as frantic as Rebecca. “This feels like a great story for a later time,” she said, failing to totally hide her annoyance.

“Shit, right,” Rebecca rose from her seat, “Come on, let’s go.”

As Higgins made for the stage, Ted, Rebecca, Y/n and Keeley hurried past the press, trying to give reassuring grins. Nothing was out of the ordinary. This was the plan.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” Rebecca huffed once they were safe within the building, “Why does anyone put up with this lunatic?”

“Because as humans, we adapt to accommodate genius,” Keeley answered.

“Genius doesn’t outweigh flightiness,” Y/n replied, walking in step with Ted.

“Who is the greatest actor alive?” Keeley continued, “Or was, before he retired?”

In tandem, Rebecca and Y/n both answered, “Daniel Day-Lewis.”

Ted veered off path, “Tony Curtis. You said alive? Jackie Chan. Wait, you said retired? Daniel Day-Lewis.”

“Exactly,” Keeley led them up the stairwell, pausing outside Rebecca’s office door, “When he gets into character, he stays in character and everyone else adapts to him. Did you know, that when he made Lincoln, he actually texted Sally Field as Abraham Lincoln?”

“Well, that’s ridiculous,” Rebecca dismissed the trivia, “Abraham Lincoln couldn’t text.”

“Exactly,” Ted agreed, “Every time he looked down, his hat would fall off.”

“Hey, listen,” Y/n chuckled, wondering if ADD was somehow formulated, bottled and pumped into the air of Nelson Road Stadium, “The distant sound of booing.”

“Look, this Zava might be a genius,” Rebecca passed Keeley to reach for the doorknob, “But he’s definitely a self-absorbed prick.”

Rebecca threw the door open to reveal the prick himself, seated at her desk as if it were his own.

“Your desk is covered in biscuit crumbs,” Zava stated.

Ted, Keeley and Y/n stood behind their boss, sporting various faces of shock.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Rebecca asked, breathless with rage, “We’ve waited two hours for you.”

This did not bother Zava. “Time is a construct,” he shrugged, “Like gender and many of the alphabets.”

“Get out of my chair,” Rebecca demanded, graduating to indignant as she marched towards her desk. She exhaustedly gestured to Ted, “This is your manager.”

“Hey, how you doing?” Ted greeted with his usual cheeriness, “I’m Ted Lasso.”

Zava and his new coach shared a grin with hands extended as they crossed the room. When they met in the middle, Zava slapped his hand to his chest and became gravely serious. Ted awkwardly did the same.

“My leader,” Zava said, “I am an empty vessel filled with gold,” he took hold of Ted’s arm with his free hand, “I am your rock. Mold me.”

Y/n ran the analogy through her head, coming up empty on logic.

Ted gave a low whistle, “Well, hey, if you score goals like you talk, we gonna be just fine, buddy.”

“Right. And this is Keeley Jones and Y/n Y/l/n,” Rebecca said, gesturing to the two women, “They handle all our publicity.”

Keeley was more willing to greet Zava than Y/n, whose steps toward the legendary footballer were justifiably hesitant.

“My queens,” Zava took each of their hands, pressing gentle kisses to both.

“Okay,” Y/n mumbled under her breath and fought the urge to pull away.

“My actions today have made your jobs much more difficult,” he said with, seemingly, genuine sorrow.

“No,” Keeley shook her head, “Don’t worry about it. No such thing as bad press, right?”

“My integrity disallows me to agree with that statement,” Zava replied with a warm smile.

“But there is such a thing as angry fans,” Y/n politely smiled, wondering how long she had to hold the man’s hand. She could hear Rebecca mumbling some curses under her breath as well.

From behind them, Higgins came through the door with Shandy in tow, going on about something related to Zava’s food allergies. They both froze as they registered the sight in front of them.

“You’re here,” Higgins gaped.

Zava nodded, “And you are there.”

“And this is Leslie Higgins,” Rebecca introduced, “Our director of football.”

“Ah,” Zava sighed, placing a hand on each side of Higgins’ face and pressing his forehead to his. He lowered his voice to a whisper, “You are the glue.”

The room stood in confused anticipation.

“Thank you very much,” Higgins replied. Out of the entire group, Ted was the only one still excited.

“I will go see the team now,” Zava announced, slapping Higgins cheek and heading down the stairs.

Rebecca stretched her arms out and yelled, “Do you even know where you’re going?”

“I do not,” Zava called back, yet kept walking.

Ted, Higgins, Shandy and Keeley looked back to Rebecca, Zava’s mere presence rendering them all speechless. Y/n was the only one matching Rebecca’s frown.

“Are you kiddin’ me?” Ted muttered, “Wowie zowie. You know what, maybe I oughta tag along in case he gets nervous. Seems like he can be a little bit of a wallflower.”

“Great,” Rebecca’s hands slapped against her sides, “And now I’m in a rush. Leslie, tell me, how did the damage control go?”

“Oh, it was a mess,” Shandy answered for the man, “But he was adorable.”

“Oh, thank you,” Higgins nodded, looking back to Rebecca and pointing behind him, “Who is this?”

Keeley came to stand at Shandy’s side, “This is Shandy, we work together. And she’s a great friend of mine.”

“Ah,” Higgins smiled knowingly, all the pieces falling together suddenly.

“Right, I’m off,” Rebecca said, gathering her purse and crossing the room. She paused at Y/n’s side, “If you can try and get His Mightiness to pose for a few pictures on the pitch, it would be appreciated.”

Y/n sighed, “No promises.”

Rebecca left on her unknown mission, Shandy and Keeley went on their way back to the KJPR office and Higgins went to oversee teardown. Y/n went back to the pitch, where the fans were packing it in and the reporters had all but left. She found the staff photographer and asked him to head to the practice pitch while she went and collected Zava.

Y/n knocked on the coach’s office and entered, pausing beside Trent Crimm in the adjoining room, “Can I borrow Zava for a few minutes?”

“Just missed him,” Roy replied.

“For the day?” Y/n raised an eyebrow.

“Yep,” Coach Beard nodded, him, Roy and Ted staring at something on their whiteboard.

“He just walked in here,” Y/n gestured from the door through the office, “Said his ‘hellos’ and’s just…done?”

“Seems that way, yeah,” Ted replied, somewhere between a smile and a straight line.

Y/n could only imagine what her face looked like, how her frayed nerves and barely concealed frustration were becoming more obvious by the second. She looked to Trent Crimm, silently begging him to tell her she wasn’t the only one who disapproved of the star footballer’s behavior. Trent replied with a reserved shrug and a stretch of his lips.

“Beautiful,” Y/n smiled as best she could, “If anyone needs me,” she turned on her heel and walked back out the door, “My head will be embedded in the drywall.”

—————————

It was a few days later and the media frenzy still hadn’t died down around both Zava’s arrival and his lack of public appearance. Y/n was fielding call after call from publications, requesting one-on-one interviews with the legend or asking when his first presser would take place or asking if the reason he didn’t show up was because he was having doubts about joining Richmond…

Better yet, Zava didn’t feel it necessary to speak to anyone.

He had, however, taken over the locker room. Four lockers had been reserved just for him plus a recliner. He’d gotten the boys to do group meditation each morning. He had the whole team eating out of the palm of his hand and to be honest, Y/n couldn’t understand why.

Thus, with Zava occupied, the focus shifted to the other Greyhounds. Keeley and Shandy had arrived to discuss interviews with some of the other players. Y/n had calls scheduled all afternoon, mostly about Zava, but also regarding a few potential endorsement deals for the boys. She was thankful for the solitude and her cheeks were pleased not to fake a smile around Shandy for the afternoon.

“Oh,” she said as she clocked Roy Kent passing her office, “Coach Kent.”

Roy reversed course and paused in her doorway, “Yeah?”

“Would you mind checking in with the guys downstairs? Keeley’s with them now,” Y/n asked, unable to leave her desk, “I would, but,” she gestured to her open laptop, a horde of new emails having just been delivered.

“Fine,” Roy replied, deadpan as ever before pausing, “You said Keeley’s with them?”

Y/n took stock of his expression, though it was nearly impossible to find whatever emotion he was actually feeling. She hadn’t seen the man smile once since she’d been at Richmond.

“Mm-hm,” she nodded.

He stayed silent, perhaps mentally preparing himself for the interaction, before nodding to Y/n once more.

“Uh, Roy,” Y/n called him back once more, fiddling with her pen, “Zava…he’s…worth it, right?”

Roy’s brows furrowed deeper, “What do you mean?”

“The fifteen calls I’ve been on today,” Y/n expanded, “The welcome event we had to cancel. The inevitable comments we’re going to have to walk back,” she paused, “He’s worth it?”

“Fuck yeah,” Roy shrugged, “Absolutely.”

While the two of them were barely acquainted, Y/n trusted Roy’s opinion. He knew football better than anyone else in the building. If he thought the headache was a worthy price to pay for victory, she’d learn to tolerate whatever chaos Zava caused.

—————————

Finally, the day of Richmond’s much anticipated match came around.

Upon arrival, Y/n made a point of confirming that His Majesty was actually on the premises, to which she was told he was in the locker room.

“Afternoon, all,” she greeted Rebecca, Higgins and Keeley as she slid into her seat.

“He is here, correct?” Rebecca asked, already a step ahead.

“There has been a sighting,” Y/n replied, a hint of a tired smile playing at her lips, “It’s packed. Did we sell out?”

“Just about,” Higgins answered excitedly, “I can barely feel my hands.”

Y/n settled next to Rebecca just as the first half kicked off. She clocked Zava in the middle of the field, in conversation with Jamie, before the two separated. Jamie kicked the ball to Zava, unremarkably, and Zava slammed his foot against it, sending it soaring across the field and into the goal.

The first fifteen seconds of the match and the crowd was already on their feet, deafening screams filling the stadium.

As Y/n celebrated with Rebecca, Higgins and Keeley, she thought back to Roy’s words earlier in the week.

“Alright,” she mumbled to herself, “Worth it.”

—————————

What Zava brought to Richmond wasn’t just talent, it was magic.

With each match they won, their standings in the Premier League went up and up. The entire city was buzzing, thrumming, with excitement every weekend they Greyhounds were on the pitch.

Not only that, but Y/n was getting more and more invested in the game herself. She paid closer attention to the players, predicting possible moves before they made them, and jumping to her feet when they scored. The inkling of pride she’d felt at the Chelsea match was beginning to bloom, and she found herself starting looking forward to spending weekends in the owner’s box with Rebecca, Higgins and Keeley.

It was the win against Brentford that cemented their six-game win streak, leaving the entire team, on and off the pitch, ecstatic.

After the match, Y/n slipped into her office, grabbing her laptop to take home and return a few emails.

“Oh, Y/n,” a voice called down the hall. Y/n looked up and saw it belonged to Sam.

“Hey,” she greeted, “Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” he grinned, “Listen, tomorrow night, I’ve invited everyone to the restaurant for a little preview. I would really love it if you could come.”

Y/n had successfully dodged every post-match invitation the boys had thrown at her. Be it not feeling well or extra work or a call from back home she had to take from some relative…her excuses had run dry. More importantly, she felt like a terrible person each time she had to leave Sam, almost always the inviter, disappointed.

If everyone was invited, it was more or less a work get-together. It wasn’t like it was just friends or a one-on-one hang.

“Sure,” Y/n conceded, “Sounds great.”

Sam’s smile broadened with the answer, making his hands into victorious fists. “I’ll send you the address.”

“Can’t wait,” Y/n replied, lying just one more time.

—————————

The next night, Ola’s was filled for the very first time.

All of the Greyhounds, the coaches and a few plus-ones were seated and partaking in the Nigerian cuisine Sam had ushered into Richmond. The setting was laid-back, but everyone was still riding the high of their win against Brentford.

Y/n had mostly stuck with Rebecca and Keeley at the bar, eventually bouncing around to a few of the players. While she was still reserved, the team and her had gotten to know each other more over the past six weeks.

“Sam,” Y/n finally caught the arm of the restauranteur, “This is incredible.”

“Oh, thank you,” Sam pressed his palm to his heart, “I’m so glad you are enjoying yourself,” he leaned in and lowered his voice, “To be honest, I was a little nervous what you all might think.”

Y/n waved off his concern, a glass of wine in her other hand, “It’s a smash. Be proud of yourself.”

“Thank you,” Sam smiled once more before leaving to go and check on another order.

Y/n paused and took stock of her surroundings, watching the cheerful conversations around her. Her gaze fell on a table in the corner of the second room, where Jamie was sitting by himself, looking particularly unhappy. Curiosity got the better of her and she made her way over.

Jamie looked up as Y/n approached. She didn’t say anything, so he decided to. “What’s that face?”

Y/n’s eyebrows remained scrunched, “I’m just trying to figure out why you’re pouting when you’re on a six-game streak.”

“I’m not-“ Jamie caught himself, he knew he wasn’t exactly being subtle. Shaking his head, he looked back down at his untouched plate, “It’s nothing.”

A loud laugh bounced off the walls, drawing Y/n’s attention down the line of tables to see it belonged to Zava. She didn’t miss how Jamie’s frown intensified at the sound.

“Let me guess,” she sighed, settling on the edge of the booth, “You’re not a member of the fan club.”

Jamie didn’t answer, glumly fidgeting with one of his rings instead. Y/n recalled that during one of their last games, Zava had stolen a goal from him. Jamie had yet to score a single one so far in the season.

“If it’s any consolation,” Y/n swirled the wine in her glass, “I can’t say I’m president of it either.”

Jamie raised an eyebrow at her, his interest peaked, “Yeah?”

“Aside from the fact that he’s made my job a thousand times harder,” Y/n complained, “I guess I just don’t…get him? I’ve caught the tail end of some of his locker room motivational speeches. It’s like he knows where he’s going the first few seconds and then takes his hands off the wheel for the last five.”

Jamie laughed, the first time he’s smiled all night. “You didn’t catch the one yesterday. Car went off a fuckin’ cliff.”

Y/n chuckled, covering her mouth to dampen the sound. “It’s like he loves to hear himself talk but doesn’t actually listen to anything he says…” Y/n grasped the air and twisted it, “But also believes he’s a prophet?”

Jamie shook his head with a smirk, thankful someone else could see what he saw.

“Still,” Y/n shrugged, her eyes scanning the Greyhounds around them, “He’s taking you guys to the top. That’s gotta feel good.”

Jamie’s smile straightened back out and he dragged his teeth over his bottom lip.

“Well, I’m sorry,” Y/n chuckled lightly, “Number 4’s a pretty big improvement from 20.”

“Yeah, but look how he’s doing it,” Jamie complained, “Stealing goals, prancing ‘round the field like some show pony-“

Y/n snorted into her glass, thankful she had yet to take a sip.

“What?” Jamie asked.

“I’m sorry,” Y/n smiled, really trying not to laugh, “It’s just when I started the job, I decided to look up some Youtube videos of the team. And I’m remembering this one hotshot player who never passed the ball to his teammates and did all these ridiculous things like rip his shirt off whenever he made a goal or chant his own name with the crowd…”

Jamie stiffened, he hadn’t expected the callback to his past.

“Whatever,” Jamie brushed it off, “Point is, things were fine without him and-“

“And I don’t think anyone’s less of a Jamie Tartt-head just because Zava Fever’s going around,” Y/n finished for him. She’d watched Jamie play for weeks now, she knew how talented he was. The infatuation with Zava would pass, but Jamie could build a legacy that lasted.

Jamie’s eyes, somewhat lost, tracked upwards to meet Y/n’s. One look told him that she truly meant what she said.

“Thanks,” Jamie nodded.

Y/n nodded, she hadn’t intended to have such an involved conversation, but Jamie was a neutral party. She didn’t feel one way or the other about him. Plus, he was the only other person who could admit to Zava having flaws.

“But just so we’re clear,” Jamie leaned over slightly, lowering his voice, “Still a prick.”

“Oh,” Y/n’s brow creased, “Definitely.”

They shared another hushed laugh.

“Hey, guys,” Shandy came out from around the corner and greeted them.

Jamie and Y/n both welcomed her, but after seven weeks working side by side with Shandy, Y/n was running out of enthusiasm to muster up.

“So, Jamie,” Shandy leaned against the corner wall, “Wanted to see if I could recruit you for this little Bantr campaign we’re running.”

Y/n recalled Keeley mentioning the commercial her and Shandy would be shooting that week. Some of the Greyhounds would be featured anonymously to try and entice people to sign up.

“I’ll leave you two to talk,” Y/n politely smiled, finishing the last of her wine and leaving the glass, “Have a good night.”

“See ya,” Jamie nodded, shooting her a smile before returning to the conversation with Shandy.

Y/n made the rounds saying goodbye before heading out, stepping out onto the London street corner. There was enough nightlife around that she wouldn’t have trouble catching a cab.

“Hey, Y/n.”

She turned to see Ted standing a few feet away from her. “Hi,” she replied, they had hardly interacted all night, “Are you waiting for a cab?”

“Oh, no,” Ted shifted awkwardly, pointing back to the restaurant, “I’m, uh, waitin’ on someone.”

Y/n understood, unwilling to dig any deeper into the statement, “Got it.”

“Yeah,” Ted mumbled under his breath before perking back up, “You have a good time?”

“Yeah,” Y/n nodded.

“Good,” Ted smiled, “It’s good to see you gettin’ out of the office, hangin’ out with everybody.”

“Well, I mean,” Y/n chuckled awkwardly, “I think Sam just invited me because he had to. It’s not like it was a personal thing.”

Over the last few weeks, Ted had gotten to observe Y/n quite a bit. She stayed in her office as much as possible, she always took lunch on her own and the only thing she wanted to contribute to the conversation was small talk. She was removed and she wanted it to stay that way.

Ted knew there was a reason, though he wasn’t going to push to unearth it. But for Y/n to come out after hours with the team, to smile and laugh and let herself have a good time, it meant something. Even if she couldn’t see it.

“Okay,” Ted nodded, letting her think whatever she needed to think, “Well, do you need a ride home?”

“Oh, no,” Y/n replied, spotting a cab coming down the road and flagging it down, “I’m good. I’ll see you later.”

Ted smiled, sticking up a hand and waving as she climbed into the cab. If Y/n wanted to keep herself closed off from the Greyhounds, that was fine.

They could wait her out.

————

Heartfirst Taglist: @lalla-04p @optimisticsandwichgladiator @makingmunson94 @taytaylala12 @storysimp @sokkigarden @lightninginab0ttle @poohkie90 @alipap3 @verra-nerevarine @shineforever19 @spaceagechimera @burnafter-reading @qardasngan @cyberpvnk-enthusiast @sogoodtoheritsvicious @buckybarnex @angelsunflxwer @blueanfield @thewildestwonderland @sabelcities

[lunar-years]

I am having so many Roy Kent thoughts this morning. Like, just how deeply lonely has that man been, for a very long time probably but especially the past year? He doesn't seem to have...friends? Like, sure, he has his fellow coaches, and he has Jamie. But it's not exactly like Ted's been in the correct headspace for most of the season to be pal-ing around with Roy in his free time, and Beard is friends with everyone and I expect has a million and one social commitments at all times, dictated first and foremost by Jane. We get the sense in the Chelsea episode of the sort of easy rep Roy had with the staff and community there, but also that he's cut himself off largely from all those good parts of his former life; clean break since the day he left. So by now, Roy's social life is fully just work and his 10 yr old niece...and eventually, Jamie Tartt.

Before he started training with Jamie, though, I fully think Roy was isolated and depressed as all hell, probably much more than he realized or ever acknowledged. Yes, he had the Club, and sometimes Phoebe in the evenings, but the rest of the time? Come home alone to his empty house that wasn't anything like Keeley's, and try to read his book, and make his dinner. Maybe watch some footie on the telly. Yoga once a week, if he's even still going, but in a way even that's lost its charm, because it's not like he can tell the mums anything, they don't even know who he really is! Try not to think too hard about how much he misses Keeley. Rinse & repeat. And the cycle becomes so unbearable that god, does he welcome training Jamie.

But even training Jamie, at first, is just...a way to extend work, isn't it? Work, work, work so he doesn't have to think about anything else, or linger on his own encroaching loneliness with the world. We don't see him and Jamie do anything but train until Amsterdam, which is the start of the breakthrough, and then until the very end of the season. Because Roy very stringently doesn't let Jamie into other parts of his life, even though he maybe (definitely) wants to. Jamie is part of work, not part of his personal life, and he forces himself to keep those rigid boxes up even after they've begun to bleed through. It's Jamie who has to push through them, slowly force his way in past Roy's defenses. And it's a good thing Jamie is a persistent little fucker, or Roy would well and truly have had no one.

And the whole time this is happening, Roy is forced to live with the fact that he's brought this all upon himself. He left Chelsea. He left Keeley. He's cut himself off from nearly every good thing in his life, and the worst part of all is, he can't stop doing it, even knowing it's made him miserable! even knowing he can't go on like this! He still can't bring himself to consciously allow Jamie fully into his life even as he increasingly relies on Jamie and their time together to keep him afloat. They're together all of the time, but for a long while, Roy won't even call him his friend.

Just...god, Roy is the most insane blender of fierce love and arrogance and protectiveness and repression and rage and self-hatred and self-sabotage and isolation and, and!! all the things he won't allow himself to have and all the people he won't allow to love him!! We wasted so much time on Shandy and Zava this season when we should have been cracking Roy Kent's skull open like a nut and examining every inch of his brain, me thinks.

[itshype]

The key thing that ruined Keeley for me in S3 of Ted Lasso (S1-2 Keeley I still love you) was the huge gap between how she was being portrayed and how other characters were reacting to her/how she was being spoken of.

1. She's so busy that her and Roy have to take a break (which yes, he does turn into a breakup) - she claims in dialogue to be "so busy she has to schedule time to cry at her desk every day".

BUT! When we see her with Jack she has plenty of time for date nights, breakfasts, minigolf, then also driving to visit Rebecca, and attending every, single Richmond game both home and away, and the last minute overnight trip to Manchester is no problem or the private jet trip from Amsterdam. She is reportedly so busy but we don't see a lot of that?

2. She's so great at her job that Jack is recommending her to all these big names, and Rebecca is ready to bankroll her immediately.

BUT! She doesn't know the first name or gender of her only investor. She can't be bothered to google "What does CFO stand for?" at all? The whole Shandy fiasco (aside from being a cringy and annoying plot point that ultimately didn't go anywhere) showed how bad she was at owning her own business, being a manager and doing her job. Shandy had one good idea and said something flattering and full of yearning and was hired on the spot with no position or experience or even a probation period. Then Keeley never really reigned her in or laid down expectations "no, this isn't a game, we're not using the company card for mimosas." until Shandy had gone way way too far.

Miscellaneous Thoughts

I'm going to resist the urge to rag on Keeley for dating her boss. That was stupid. But this show has a REALLY weird philosophy about what constitutes a healthy relationship (Rebecca/Sam, don't get me started about Beard/Jane, Nate and his waitress -- who is nice but still the setup is ehhh).

Not even gonna start on everyone acting like Roy must be mad for dumping her because she's so far out of his league. UGH.

[bombshellsandbluebells]

Would love to know what happened with s3 though.

I remember at one point it was delayed, which is never a great sign. It gives the overall feeling of massive rewrites and conflicting ideas getting shoved together. It’s got really great moments and some good ideas, but every single character story is messy. I wouldn’t say any single character (except Colin) has a well-written cohesive story through the whole thing (which is why I don’t get people calling Nate’s out in particular - it suffers the same issues Keeley, Rebecca, Ted, Roy, and everyone’s does)

It definitely feels like a case of…too many ideas but also too many DIFFERENT ideas trying to get shoved together.

Like was this studio interference? Production/writing issues that caused delays but then studio pressure to wrap it up quickly so they could push out their biggest hit? (Certainly feels rushed in a lot of ways) Was there pressure to get it written and filmed before a potential writers strike? (Like what happened with Heroes?)

Like there are very clear threads that carry through perfectly from s1/2 (total football, Ted going home, Nate coming back, Jamie ending up the central cog, Rebecca finding romance) but so much AROUND that or how the executed it is all over the place

The stuff with Zava…ultimately ends up pointless, the physic plot is unneeded and just distracting, the Shandy stuff makes sense in a “keeley ends up failing her first attempt at running a business” storyline sense but gets immediately forgotten with the Jack of it all. There’s just so much that doesn’t really go anywhere.

And the constant use of the Soccer Saturday segments to give us essential plot points or to resolve things like Rupert’s divorce or Nate quitting just SCREAMS reshoot / rewrite

[liesmyth]

omfg pls pls do a TL s3 rewrite/au you could do it a million times better and actually keep the characters true to themselves rather than make them sitcom-victims

I am ITCHING to.... there are so many half baked ideas for S3 rewrites floating around in my head. I actually like so many of the elements the show introduced, I just hate where they went with it.

I yearn for those glorious moments in 3.01 & 3.02 where it looked like the show was actually going in the direction of giving Roy some self-doubt around his coaching career, how he felt like he had to step up in Nate's absence and would be lacking. How he's clearly someone who had a massively successful career out of doing the most of his innate talent and blatantly sucks at being a beginner at anything and will outright refuse to do things he can't do perfectly. Alas, for most of the season, we got Roy being a punchline :(

ZAVA oh my god. They could have done. SO many things with Zava. The team's reaction to Zava. Jamie's reaction to Zava. ROY'S reaction to Zava was criminally understated.

Keeley's whole office plotline. I actually really liked how they introduced Shandy, because she provided a very clear contrast to how Keeley's life used to be pre-series vs how she's now AND she genuinely had good insight! While being terrible at other parts of the job! It could have been a great tool to explore themes of classism, Keeley coming into her own in a supervision role, giving us a glimpse of WHAT Keeley's life is like separately from whatever ongoing relationship she's in. (I have so many thoughts about how she apparently cut down heavily on her social life once she started hanging out with Rebecca / living with Roy.) I also have so many thoughts about how Keeley's career change must have looked like FOR HER; the show in 2x12 frames it as "leaving Richmond", but there's so much involved in a decision of making such a drastic career change! Her life completely changed in a year and a half! Keeley Keeley KEELEY. (I think about her a normal amount)

Trent and Ted. Trent and Roy. Trent and Colin.

Nate's arc could have been about him struggling with the man-management side of the job. We also saw in S2 that he resented Ted getting credit for when his tactics saved the day, and Roy told him it was part of the job description — the boss takes the praise but also takes the heat when things go badly! I would've loved to see Nate dealing with that side of the job as well.

I would remove the sex tape leaks plotline altogether. If anyone has his sex tape leaked it should be a grainy VHS of Roy on holiday circa 2003. And give Keeley the chance to step up and do her JOB in a cool way in different circumstances.

... and like five other different things. S3 gives me brainworms in the way "shoddily written piece of canon with SO much potential" always gives me brainworms

[robinruns]

Ugh

Yesterday I made the mistake of mentioning to my mom that I was home sick. This turned into her calling me to rant about Shandy's vet for 36 minutes. I don't want to tell her when I have days off because I feel like she just sees those as opportunities to get me to do things for/with her. Usually resulting in her talking nonstop at me for the entire time I'm there. The time I went there after my Taking Back Sunday show, she didn't even ask about it until I got a chance to bring up something related to it.

She and my dad were setting themselves up for failure financially their whole lives and now all she does is complain about not having any money and spending it needlessly. She just texted me to complain that she forgot a bag of groceries in her car on Monday and that somehow means she's done trying to spend responsibly, as if those things are connected somehow.

I'm so fucking frustrated right now I'm almost in tears. I know, I've KNOWN! that she needs mental health help for years, but in typical boomer fashion, she has no interest in receiving it. She'd rather be miserable and wallow in self-pity and frustration than take steps to maybe improve her life. I don't know at this point if I should be looking into ways to take control financially and/or legally because she's basically stating she's going to live recklessly with no regard for her future financial wellbeing simply because she doesn't like change.

I'm so frustrated. I'm so tired of having to parent my mom. I understand why she's upset, but being mad that my dad's gone and that you're in a tough financial situation doesn't make it better.

Sometimes I think I shoulda just ended it in 2019 and then I wouldn't be dealing with this shit now

[mitskijamie]

i will die mad about the way they ended shandy's story. until then i thought she was going to a mirror of keeley, a rough-around-the-edges girl whose drive and cleverness was going to take her far. and it's extra salt in the wound that they ended up redeeming barbara, who was so nasty to not only shandy but also keeley? even at the end with keeley trying to give her the snowglobe. we deserved an ending where shandy and keeley raise kjpr from the ashes with their own hard work and celebrate by drinking champagne and using jamie like a footstool.

I knowwww right. That whole plotline made me so mad. Like, for one thing, what was the point? That you shouldn't give people a chance and uninformed opinions about people based on stereotypes and preconceived notions are usually true? For another, it was so frustrating to see Shandy as a woman of color narratively punished and written off for a lot of the same things that were treated as cute and quirky when Keeley as a white woman did them. For example, drinking at work. In s2e6, Keeley tells Ted that she's planning on getting drunk in the middle of the day because she "has some creative work to do" and "wants to be a little buzzed for it," but when Shandy does the same thing she gets fired. Very transparent

I actually liked that they redeemed Barbara tbh, because this is The Redemption Show and I do love a weirdgirl, but there's no reason that she should've replaced Shandy as Keeley's business partner. What should've happened (in terms of like. Lassopilled storytelling) is Barbara should've apologized to Shandy for making assumptions about her competence (because she absolutely was being terrible to her!) and been open to learning from and working with her going forward. I actually think Barbara, Keeley, and Shandy had the potential to be a really entertaining trio

[heyheymarrymearchie]

i rewatched the new ted lasso episode as soon as i finished it, and i took notes so here we go:

my thoughts on s3e3, in chronological order

COLIN GAY REVEAL! i'm glad my roommate was gone tonight because oh my god i had such an extreme reaction. i knew (hoped) this would happen, yet somehow i was still shocked that they actually did it this soon? like, as soon as they showed him in the first shot i immediately knew we were gonna get the reveal and i went feral to say the least

the way he says his mantra when he gets in the car, i'm sobbing

colin being a shit driver and the intro song starting and stopping-- i won't lie i had myself a little giggle

TRENT'S FRUITY LITTLE OUTFIT

trent liking princess diaries (because of his daughter?) is wonderful

oh my god i'm straight for jamie tartt

everyone's reactions to zava holding higgins

higgins is definitely gonna have drama with shandy, but like, in the same way he did with beard and jane

dani's hair looking GLORIOUS today

i wanted to like tish and then she had to go and be a fucking bitch (rebecca was being super rude and condescending though too i'm not gonna ignore that)

when shandy says to say something shocking in their interviews AND YOU CAN IMMEDIATELY SEE THE GEARS TURNING IN COLIN'S HEAD

beards smirk when he's talking to jamie just gets to me it's so cute

JAMIE'S RIGHT THOUGH?? like my mom always says, pride comes before the fall, and zava's fall is definitely imminent

chris the commentator has always been an underrated character

poor ted, obviously we all knew michelle was gonna have a new man, but their therapist?? that's fucking insane 

ted having a mini panic attack for zava's first game is definitely an omen

ted immediately stalking his ex's new bf? so relatable. (if you follow me you know i have an issue lol)

oh god it's gonna be a slow burn with keeley and roy, isn't it

as happy as i am about the boyfriend reveal for colin, i feel like i'm getting some red flags from this guy?? idk, nothing in particular but something just seems off (but hopefully i'm proven wrong!)

jamie and roy's eye contact after zava stole the goal--

the shot of jamie from above when he sees zava's tattoo I'M OBSESSED WITH THIS KID

colin introducing michael as his 'pal' makes me want to cry

keeley's little hair bow?? yes please

JAMIE'S EARRINGS???? i'm deceased

as someone who used to think it was pre-madonna, Thank You Roy

ROY AND JAMIE ALLIANCE!! the former best-guys-on-the-team are gonna take down the current best-guy-on-the-team

the restaurant scene made me realize how desperate i am for sam and rebecca to get back together

i nearly screamed when we got the shot of trent from the trailer where he adjusts his coat and all (yknow the bit i'm talking about)

trent can either be a hero or a dick here and i'm actually so scared about that cliffhanger 

i'm a MAJOR trent crimm girlie so obviously i want him to be super slay, and hopefully we'll get the whole gay mentor thing for colin that we've all been talking about. but as someone with really bad anxiety, i'm preparing for the fucking worst. i cannot handle this!!

[invisibleraven]

"I have tickets for that band you like. Want to go with me?" / Peterpatter

If there was one thing Reggie knew he was good at, it was trivia. His brain was full of useless knowledge and facts. Alex told him he should go on Jeopardy and sweep the whole thing, Ken Jennings style, but Reggie just waved him off. "I'd never get the hang of answering everything as a question."

So instead Reggie saved it for trivia nights at local bars, with Luke, Bobby, and Alex helping when they could, but mostly reaping the benefits of cheap beer and half price wings. Plus whenever they won, which they did often, they got a small cash prize-most of which went towards their demo savings.

"See this is why you should go on Jeopardy Reg," Luke joked. "Promote Sunset Curve on air and earn us enough to do a full demo."

"Or at least enough to get us enough to afford Green Day tickets," Bobby added.

The boys all sighed in unison at that. Green Day was the band that first made them decide to try their hand at the whole rockstar thing in the first place. Luke especially idolized Billie Joe and they had all tried desperately to get tickets. But they had sold out fast, and with the insane cost, none of them could justify the price when they had rent to pay and food to eat.

"Maybe one day," Reggie mused, sending a look at the despondent Luke. Reggie had tried hardest to get tickets for them, as it had been their dream to see the band together. And well, Reggie secretly wanted to use them as a way to finally ask Luke out. A prefect first date really, never to be topped. To be all "I have tickets for that band you like. Want to go with me?"

Yeah right, like that lame line would work.

But still, he could dream right?

Then... maybe it was fate, maybe the universe was listening, but the local radio station had two tickets for the concert up for grabs, just days beforehand. Tickets you could win by calling in and answering a trivia question.

Reggie frantically grabbed his phone, dialling the number, and scowling when he got the busy signal. Tried again, and again, and again. Finally a dial tone!

"KJPR, are you calling regarding the Green Day tickets?"

"Yes!" Reggie exclaimed. "Yes I am!"

"Alrighty, you're on the air with Shandy and Dave! What's your name sport?"

"Reggie."

"Well then Reggie, you ready for the question?"

"Hit me."

"Okay Reggie, what was Green Day's original band name and the name of their original pre Tre Cool drummer?" the host asked.

Reggie's mind went blank for a second. God, he knew this! He took a deep breath. He could do this. For Luke. "They were originally called Sweet Children, and their drummer was Al Sobrante."

"Correct!"

Reggie could hear obnoxious noises from the radio control booth, but that word, Correct, was all that was ringing in his ears. He was sure he screamed and thanked them, barely processing being handed over to a producer to collect his details.

All he knew was that he now had the most prized possession he needed. He just needed to ask Luke...without pissing off Alex and Bobby.

"Hey Reg, heard you on the radio this morning!" Alex exclaimed, clapping him on the back as he entered the studio later that day. "Almost as good as Jeopardy my man!"

"So who you gonna take?" Bobby demanded.

Crap. Reggie looked at them both, then to the doorway, where Luke was standing, looking hopeful. Then back to Alex and Bobby, who were giving him wide, knowing smirks. "Ummm...'

"It's cool man," Bobby said. "You two have fun."

"Yeah, me and Bobbers understand-but only if you bring us back shirts," Alex added.

"Deal," Reggie replied, breathing out a sigh of relief. "Luke, you free Saturday?"

"Really? You mean it?" Luke asked, coming over to embrace Reggie as he nodded. "Yes yes yes!"

And then Luke captured Reggie's mouth in an enthusiastic kiss, all teeth and tongue, and Reggie barely noticed Alex and Bobby leaving them as he gentled it. Guess he didn't need to bother asking Luke if it was a date or not. Especially after they tumbled to the couch and didn't get up for nearly twenty minutes, too consumed with kissing.

It turned out to not be their first date though-that was Friday night; pizza and the arcade, and even more kissing. But Green Day proved to be a pretty good second date.

And an even greater story when they met the band a few years later at some awards ceremony. Where Luke got to flash their new engagement rings and tell Billie Joe himself how the band brought them together, and landed him the love of his life.

Reggie thought the credit really belonged to him knowing Al Sobrante's name, but there was no way he was saying that-especially not in front of Green Day.

But he totally invited them to the wedding. And grinned when they agreed to come-and through the awesome jam session that was their reception.

Guess that useless trivia packing his brain was good for something after all.

[lunar-years]

Okay other misc. thoughts about 3x07

can't believe our luck at getting a perfect hour of television two weeks running!! wow wow wow like there wasn't a single bad moment??? I was grinning like an idiot at my tv screen the entire time??? I fucking love this silly little soccer show ????

in hindsight changing the name from Ola's to the Strings That Bind Us was so deeply unserious I am rolling

The Sam plot was everything and more. Toheeb's rent was DUE. the man came to ACT. and boy did he deliver!!

I appreciated that Sam didn't let Simi's type of anger/wording define his own. he was still furious, but he was furious in a way that was true to himself and his own philosophies (that said I absolutely thought, when he typed "than a world class b--," he was about to type "bitch" not bigot hvsbfjjdsv)

his dad was EVERYTHING. I am obsessed! I am so so glad we got to meet him!

that said and not to make everything about Jamie (this plot was not about him but there's still a sad parallel I'm thinking about); the contrast of Sam having a breakdown in the locker room and then having his dad there to hug him and tell him it was going to be okay. versus Jamie's locker room breakdown caused by his dad where no one knew what to say and everyone stood around (before Roy stepped up.) Yeah. That was a bit of a gut-punch.

speaking of meeting people's families: I am obsessed with Nate's. I love that we found out he has a sister!! and they are clearly very close great siblings! I love that we met his niece! I enjoyed indirectly seeing a different side of his father via the map story, and his sister's comment about how Nate is just like his father surely was loaded. I could unpack that family dynamic for days but it was SO GOOD.

Nate spending a whole evening putting together that box to present to Jade! I audibly gasped when it fell in the street! But Nate did not let it deter him. oh no! He asked her out anyway! He didn't spit in that goddamn mirror! He took a risk!!! I am honestly so freaking proud of that man.

The Jack/Keeley stuff was yikesy. definitely love bombing. To me last episode's Rebecca plot was all about Rebecca learning to trust her gut instincts again and regain faith in herself, so you know what, if she is getting ~off~ vibes about Jack, I am with her all the way. It felt like they were definitely sprinkling the seeds for the means to a quick end for them. Sigh.

i love Rebecca/Keeley friendship it is truly one of my favorite female tv friendships in years. they are brilliant, they enchant me, etc.

based off of next episode's description and title things will definitely be blowing up for Keeley & Keeley/Jack. I just can't decide if it's going to be Shandy or Barbara who's going to plant the bomb. Ugh. Maybe they will team up and be horrible together.

Jamie in that dressing room....no thoughts to say about it just that I AM SO DAMN PROUD OF MY BOY

Trent Crimm the nerdy little man you are he is the BEST addition to the series regulars holy shit

this episode was genuinely really funny and probably my favorite jokes of the season it was all around so good

THE BOYS COMING TOGETHER AND CLEANING UP SAM'S RESTAURANT. I AM CRYING REAL ACTUAL ALLIGATOR-SIZED TEARS.

perfect episode was perfect.

[writingway-in-writinghell]

I must say. The way they handle mental health, parental abuse, trauma, sexuality, toxic masculinity (and overcoming it) in Ted Lasso is like nothing I’ve ever seen in a popular piece of media. They really understand what they’re doing there.

It makes me sad, then, that a lot of the narrative surrounding Nate (and to some extent Shandy as well, since her arc was cut short) is so. Colorblind. I mean, yes, Jade isn’t even exceptionally rude by European standards when it comes to customer service, but she sure is rude enough that it stands out to me, a German. And we’re not known to be the most bubbly people. (Really, we can be rude af. Don’t go to some parts of Eastern Germany, resting bitch-faces everywhere here, it’s draining.) And, well. I’ve never been stared at as if the server was a dead fish, ya know. As if I was invisible.

So when people of color in the fandom tell us that they see racist behavior here in Jade, and in Jack’s and Barbara’s treatment of Shandy? We better believe them. Because if even my white-bread nose can smell this against the wind, something is off.

And the thing is, I was ready to give Jade the benefit of the doubt! I even commented somewhere that she seems like someone who sees through people, like she just knows when they act a part, when they try to turn up their nose at her.

Cue Anastasia. And Jade treating her with dignity, something she denied Nate from the beginning, and he’s been coming to this place for years!

The whole framing of Nate’s interactions with her have a taste of “finally the white woman takes pity on the brown man now that he praised her restaurant’s cuisine in her proximity”, and that taste truly is bitter, especially compared to everything this show does well!

It stings. And now imagine you’re a fan from the same minority group (in England) as Nate and Shandy. And you see this treatment of their arcs. The disrespect. How it’s played as a joke. And then you see how well they execute queer narratives and how tenderly they approach mental health.

Man. The framing of Nate’s narrative is such a perfect mirror for reality. And people HATE him for lashing out after years of this disrespect? I think we can be glad he didn’t strangle someone. Why do you think Ted isn’t angry at him? (Hint: It’s not because he avoids negative feelings. Not in this case.)

[theladyragnell]

Hi! Question for you once you've had a chance to finish S3 of Ted Lasso: I'd love to hear your perspective on how S3 could have unfolded in a more fulfilling way. No pressure, of course, but I enjoy reading your insights. :)

Okay! I am rolling up my sleeves.

EXPRESSING-OPINIONS-ON-THE-INTERNET CAVEAT: I am not a media critic, and not everything in this post will be cohesive, well-thought-out, and non-contradictory. I do not for a moment pretend that my opinions are Correct, they are merely my own.

SECOND CAVEAT: At this point, with where they left arcs, I'm about 80% sure that depending on how the WGA strike goes (crossing my fingers for them) and any corporate retaliation for that, there will be a spinoff or continuation sans Ted. More of their choices make sense if that is true, even if I don't love the thought (let shows end!!!), so this is all changes I would make assuming s3 is the final season.

The thing about this season, for me, is that any given episode or moment was largely really enjoyable for me! Sure, a few quibbles, and the whole Roy and Keeley thing we will get to in a moment, but if I ignored the fact that I was watching a season, most things worked for me. Looking at it as a season, though, it was too busy, in a way that meant the show dropped a lot of things I wanted to see more of.

So, when pondering this question, I think that there's no way to keep everything I love while getting rid of only the things that annoyed me or that didn't feel right to me. And in the end, I'd rather miss things that weren't there than be annoyed with things that are present, so my take on s3 would streamline a lot of things to engage with others.

Oh boy, this is already long, time for a cut.

Change #1: Roy and Keeley do not break up. There was simply no reason for this, and especially no reason for it to happen off-screen. They can still fight and have difficulties, and Roy can deal with his mental health, but it's just unnecessary drama and I never understood it. This also prevents Roy and Jamie's weird last-episode regression to fighting over her and forcing her into shitty positions.

Change #2: Most of Keeley's plotlines change. All of the KJPR plots and characters were interesting, but they also busied the season up too much. So I'd have her actually building up a one-woman business without Jack (or, tragically, Barbara), maybe doing the Shandy thing and grappling with that for longer, or her dealing with the Establishment the way Rebecca does so often, trying to make them see her as a businesswoman and not a footballer's girlfriend.

Change #3: Beard and Jane break up. We get to carry over the threads from s2 from the Beard episode and from Higgins expressing his concern, instead of treating the way Jane treats him as comedy. We also get to counteract this show's everyone-deserves-not-just-forgiveness-for-everything-but-also-to-be-in-your-life-again message with one instance of someone setting out a boundary and sticking to it.

Change #4: Many of Nate's plots change. As with Barbara, I would really regret losing Jade, but I think there are better uses of Nate's screentime--he was set up to be a real main character in s2 and I felt like I hardly saw him in s3. What I really wanted was for Nate to learn how to have power over people responsibly, I think? I'd have chosen either for him to grit his teeth and stay at West Ham (perhaps while joining the conspiracy to overthrow Rupert) or, when he left, for him to somehow end up coaching a kids' team, and learn gentleness in authority that way. It would pick up this show's really genuinely cool theme of "once one person makes a point of stepping out of the cycle of abuse and trauma it can ripple out around them" in interesting ways.

And while there are many other tweaks I'd make (more Sam, his last focus plot was SO goddamn miserable; eliminate everything about the psychic; goodbye to Rebecca's boat stranger), I'm going to finish with the last big one, which is

Change #5: Ted gets to do something besides reinvent total football, pine for his son, and make speeches that should have been edited down to a third of their length tops. He just seems so checked out this whole season, just talking about how none of the work he's done is on him, all focused on Henry in the wrong ways, so that going back to Kansas felt more like a horrible sacrifice than a choice that will bring him fulfillment or contentment. He was always going to go back to Kansas and his son, much as I wasn't wild about that, but it doesn't feel like a new beginning for him, just like he's going back to his old life with a little more knowledge of football and more knowledge of how to model good parenting and relationships for his kid (while not, from the way I interpreted that last expression, dealing any further with his own mental health). It felt weirdly dark for this show.

(Also I know this show loves its book theming, and I know it's The Wizard of Oz (see: a song from The Wiz playing over the credits to the penultimate episode), but have they considered that in subsequent Oz books Dorothy and her family move back to Oz? Things to consider.)

[time-is-restored]

fellas that last ted lasso episode. hmm.

listen i'll be real no matter what im gonna be out here gushing abt trent crimm cause he's my special little guy and im obsessed with him, but considering the Literal Paragraphs ive been writing abt all the shit i LIKED about the show, i didn't know how else to process these Less Good emotions than by blurting it all out over like two hours (instead of doing the dishes, lmao).

tldr; s3e2 was such an emotional high point for me, since i really felt like it had something concrete + specific to say about physical violence + social/emotional violence, and how they're BOTH highly valued as masculine ideals. but the episodes since then...

it kind of feels like im watching the result of a long and bloody fight between different writers? writers who, apparently, wanted Very different things from this last season, so now we're getting this. bizarro world mish-mash of two hypothetical shows, where tone + content + themes vary WILDLY and inconsistently from episode to episode - and even scene to scene!

[cw: discussions of sexism + racism, in a doylist context, also s3e5 spoilers]

specifically, i feel really disappointed and hurt that they went that direction with shandy's arc. i understand that we're only half way through the season, and obviously anything could happen between now and then but... really? like, is there some kind of budgeting issue here? we can't afford for there to be more than three (complex, not sexy lamps) women in any given episode? is that why the second jack appears, barbara loses any depth (what happened to that lovely moment of connection with the snow globes????????), and THEN the second SHANDY goes off her head it's. jack time? apparently???? like. this would feel a lot better as a viewer if at this point the show hadn't PRIMED me for jack doing something insanely stupid + cruel for no reason except 'haha Keeley Bad At Her Job'.

like. the first thing we see of shandy fine is her pride in keeley, and genuine appreciation of her hard work and skill. she's CLEARLY not stupid, otherwise why would the rest of her introductory scene be her helping keeley out with filmmaking advice (the extras thing) AND random, life experience shit (knowing how to deal with goat shit)?? she knows her way around a set, and she doesn't make any of the footballers feel judged, even when she's clearly thrown by the clips they're providing her.

so why in the space of like, barely a few weeks, does ALL of that get thrown out the window? 'condoms for balls'??? why are we supposed to just take for granted that she's stupid + overly ambitious (other than the Fucking Obvious!) when the show put NO effort into actually setting that up???? like, if her first scene was her monstrously fucking UP the shoot for keeley, and keeley hired her on pure sympathy then like. sure. whatever. no room for bleeding hearts in business. but that ALSO sucks as a story line for ted lasso, a show that (according to its OWN press releases!) is supposed to be about kindness and human connection and breaking cycles!

it just. it hurts? in a way where its like, i don't believe even a little bit that this was what the writers were aiming for with those scenes, and it frightens me that there could be such a wide gulf between intent and result. especially when bonding about The Shandy Incident is what got keeley and jack together (which i am trying... So hard to feel positive about, because explicitly confirming keeley's bisexuality is amazing, least of all bc it makes her jokes with rebecca feel a lot less mean-spirited on the writers' parts, retroactively)... like how am i supposed to be enjoying their moments together when i feel like the show's whole premise has been betrayed???

and really? the one moment nate gets to feel good in this WHOLE season, it's bc the server at the restaurant who previously could not care if he dropped dead right in front of him showed him some affection + validation?????

like, sure, i GUESS im happy that this random excuse for an arc has lead to a slightly more sympathetic female character existing at least in the PERIPHERY of the show's main storyline, except no im fucking not? i don't care about this fucking restaurant, and even though ive been DESPERATELY trying not to hate jade (even though the writers themselves can't seem to decide if she's Literally Racist or just a depressed service worker) NATE shouldn't care about jade! the ONLY way i can see this being an actually interesting arc for nathan is if its another exploration of his inability to leave behind the things + people that have hurt him, combined with years of conditioning where he's never allowed to express being annoyed/upset at anyone (which richmond!!! contributed to!!!!!! 'if you're mad, count to ten. if that doesn't work, count again'??? cool speedrun tips for resentment ted!). like, an arc where we see that distance away from richmond hasn't helped nate as much as it's removed some of the worst triggers, so a taste of athens ends up in the same awful pit of resentment + loathing as ted did. which nate clearly hates! he doesn't LIKE being that person! he apologised to a PAINTED DOLL of ted!!!! but when he doesn't have the framework or tools or SUPPORT to do anything else...

like. where is his team? obviously im not expecting the show to start being about a bunch of football players that AREN'T from richmond but? even just a small moment of appreciation? or hell! maybe they hate him! if we could see LITERALLY ANYTHING abt the sport which nathan has dedicated his life to, and how his Actual Coaching style is positively or negatively impacted by the lessons he learned at richmond? this is a show ABOUT football!!!!!

i just. a taste of athens? again? a-fucking-gain?????

and honestly, the worst part is that i REALLY liked the little monologue that nate got to give about how important the restaurant was to him! as much as it showed that nate is still just as passionate + earnestly defensive of the things he loves, it ALSO shows that he 1. spends that energy explaining his passion to people who don't deserve it/won't care, and 2. gets attached to things that really fucking hurt him! and like. i am on my hands and KNEES for that to be the 'point' of this arc but at this point i feel like that's me being naive! but if fucking JADE from fucking ATHENS is the civilising white gf who FINALLY talks nate down from him ~ ignorant, vengeful crusade ~ against the absolute ~ matyrs ~ of goodness at afc richmond, i just. like. what are we even DOING here gang?

i don't know. it hurts that sam's gone from being an almost principal character in s2 to only getting passing lines in s3. it hurts that rebecca's off in her own world, talking to strangers, having life-changing revelations on her own, surrounded by sets we're never going to see again, where every scene she DOES get to spend w one of the richmond members feels hasty and rushed, like the episode wants to get a few characters obligatory appearances out of the way asap. it hurts that all the chekov's guns around zava's arc (jamie's resentment, ted's lack of guidance, dani being 'demoted' + colin being benched) were apparently all just blanks, to be hastily plastered over with one big long speech about... ted wanting everyone to have higher self esteem, or something?

and listen, more the fool me if another episode comes out next week that i completely adore, and i spend like five days singing its praises. im mostly writing this so i can go INTO the next ep without feeling resentful + upset! i'll be STOKED if i was wrong and all of those little details ARE actually important, and these arcs have more to them than this! but for now im just sad and annoyed :(