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weekendwarriorblog · 3 years

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The Weekend Warrior 5/7/21: WRATH OF MAN, HERE TODAY, THE UNTHINKABLE, MONSTER, THE WATER MAN and More

It’s a new month, and I guess going by previous years pre-COVID, this weekend would normally be the start of summer. This year, we’re instead getting a summer with a lot of movies that would normally be dumped into April or February or some other uneventful month. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t or won’t be any good movies, but really, there’s nothing that feels like a summer movie until A Quiet Place Part II and Disney’s Cruella open on Memorial Day weekend.

There’s been lots of great developments, though, including the Alamo Drafthouse in Brooklyn reopening this Friday and then in a few short weeks, theaters may be allowed to be open with no capacity rules although social distancing and masks will probably still be in place. Believe me, it’s been a confusing week as the city that got used to being on the backburner when it comes to reopenings, especially with movie theaters, is now dealing with arguing politicians competing to see who could throw open the then most doors fastest. It’s actually pretty embarrassing.

That aside, this week’s The Weekend Warrior column is brought to you by the new album “Coral Island” from Liverpool band The Coral, which I’ve decided to listen to on loop until I finish this column, because it’s taking me so long to get through it. (Eventually, I switched to Teenage Fanclub’s “Endless Arcade,” since I hadn’t had a chance to listen to it yet…. And to an old standby, Royal Blood, with their own excellent new album, “Typhoons.” At least the record business seems to know it’s the summer!)

Before we get to this week’s new movies, a couple tidbits. First of all, I’m thrilled that my friends Larissa Lam and Baldwin Chiu’s documentary FAR EAST DEEP SOUTH can finally be seen by the entire world, or at least the United States. It debuted on PBS World Channel on Tuesday night as part of the “America ReFramed” series, but for the entire month of May until June 3, you can watch it On Demand HERE, and that is huge! (There will be other ways to see it that you can read about here.)

This is an amazing MUST-SEE doc that looks into the little-known Chinese communities that took root in Mississippi in the early 20th Century and how they became such a huge part of that area with their markets, also bonding with the African-American communities that were similarly dealing with racism from the typically white post-Civil War South. It’s not just a history lesson, and it’s an incredibly moving story about a family trying to find its roots in the most unexpected places. There was a good reason why the couple’s short “Finding Cleveland” won the Oxford Film Festival while I was on the jury that year, and Far East Deep South similarly won an award there last year after its World Premiere at Cinequest was almost scuppered by COVID. It’s amazing how much more relevant and important this film has become since I first saw it last year, since both Asians and African-Americans are dealing with serious racial issues, and this movie shows that more than anything, they should be working to boost each other rather than fighting. Do check it out On Demand this month if you get a chance!

Another musician making movies is Mr. Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters. I mentioned his documentary WHAT DRIVES US last week, but I actually only got to watch it on Thursday, and like his previous film Studio City and HBO mini-series, Sonic Highways, it’s a fantastic look at the music biz, this time through a variety of artists who began their careers by piling into vans and driving around the country. That is, except Lars Ulrich from Metallica, who mentions that the band was never so small or indie that they didn’t have a bus. But Grohl has used his vast connections to bring in a lot of great musicians including The Edge from U2, Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and more, making this a very entertaining movie both for fans of the various bands but also live music fans in general. I gotta admit that as much as I loved What Drives Us, it did bring me down a bit since it’s been almost 14 months since I’ve seen any live music, and I really miss it. This is now streaming on The Coda Collection, which you can subscribe to through Amazon Prime Video.

Guy Ritchie is back with his latest movie, WRATH OF MAN (Miramax/MGM), which reunites him with Jason Statham for the first time since 2007’s Revolver, I believe. Statham plays the enigmatic Paul “H” Hill who works at cash truck company Fortico, responsible for moving hundreds of million dollars around Los Angeles each week. Fortico has recently been hit by a lethal robbery, and H’s team soon learn that there’s a lot more to their new coworker, who happens to be looking for revenge against the man who murdered his son.

(Unfortunately, reviews for the movie are embargoed until Thursday at 6pm, so I can’t tell you whether it’s any good or not. Until Thursday night. Sorry!)

But I will talk about the movie’s box office prospects, because why not? Ritchie’s last movie, The Gentlemen, opened in January 2020, during the “before times,” with $10.6 million, but that was more of a classic Ritchie ensemble crime-comedy. Wrath of Man is more of the type of movie Statham has been making over the past few years, a cross between a revenge thriller and a heist flick. In fact, Statham has done a pretty good job creating his own brand through a variety of action-thrillers as well as a number of franchises including “The Transporter” movies, “The Expendables,” and eventually joining the “Fast and the Furious” franchise as Deckard Shaw with Furious 7 in 2017. Statham then went off to make Hobbs and Shaw with Dwayne Johnson, which didn’t do bad with $174 million. Before that, Statham starred in The Meg, a summer shark attack movie that grossed $145 million. Statham going back to help his old mate i.e. the director that gave Statham his start is pretty huge.

But as I said earlier, those were all in the “before times” and with the box office the way it is, it’s hard to imagine that the exciting reunion of Statham and Ritchie can open with more than $10 million but maybe closer to $8 million, because MGM/UA just doesn’t have the marketing clout of a Warner Bros. or Universal. Even so, that should be enough to be #1 this weekend as both Mortal Kombat and Demon Slayer continue to fall away. Unfortunately, if the movie *is* any good -- and I can’t tell you one way or another -- then by the time reviews hit, people will already have other plans for the weekend than to go see the movie. So yeah, that’s pretty dumb on the part of MGM, huh?

UPDATE: MGM is putting the movie into 2,876 theaters and maybe I'm being overly optimistic, because, as you'll read below, the movie IS pretty good and reviews have remained positive with the American reviews rolling in last night, still at 70% Fresh at this writing. Maybe that'll help the movie do a little better, maybe as much as $9 million, although I'll probably owe MGM an apology if it cracks $10 million, and I don't think it will.

Mini-Review: If you’ve seen the trailer for Wrath of Man, you might go into Guy Ritchie’s latest thinking you know what to expect, because it’s sure being sold as another typical Jason Statham revenge thriller. Don’t be fooled by the marketing, the movie really is Ritchie’s chance to make his own version of Heat, an L.A. heist movie that owes as much to Rashomon as another movie being released this week.

Wrath of Man begins with the heist of an armored truck that turns deadly with the wanton murder of a couple guards. From there, you might think we know where things are going when Statham’s “H” company whose truck was hit, and on his first day, he stops a similar heist by killing the truck’s attackers. H is immediately the hero of the company, although he still has quite a few suspicious coworkers and the feeling is quite mutual. Ritchie’s film then slips into the second episodic chapter which goes back five months to that initial heist where we learn that Statham’s son was killed by being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I don’t want to go too much deeper into how the movie and story play out, because like The Gentlemen and some of Ritchie’s more intricate films, there’s a lot that purposefully isn’t made very apparent at the beginning. To many, this movie will be seen as even more macho than most of Ritchie's films, to the point where even the only woman guard, Dana, being just as macho as the men. As the movie begins, there’s a lot of joke-cracking and crotch-grabbing, all while Statham’s character silently observes and only acts when necessary.

The film’s shift to more of a classic Ritchie ensemble does slowly take place, but by the third chapter, it shifts to the group perpetrating the cash truck heists with an “inside person,” taking the movie to yet another place that makes it more obvious that this is Ritchie’s attempt at delving into the L.A. heist genre that other filmmakers have done so well.

Oddly, Statham doesn’t have too many lines, acting almost like a Terminator in his determination to right wrongs, but as always, Ritchie puts together a fantastic ensemble cast including a number of great American character actors who we rarely get to see in such great roles. I was particularly impressed with Jeffrey Donovan, who has appeared in a number of otherwise forgettable crime films this past year. The same can be said for Holt McCallany as H’s truck driver “Bullet,” but Ritchie also cast the likes of Josh Hartnett and Scott Eastwood in smaller yet still significant supporting roles, all of whom become more interesting as you start figuring out who all the players are.

Like I said, the movie is fairly macho and the few women play very small roles, but it’s how things are set-up in the first few acts to then change course and build to an absolutely amazing third act that will undoubtedly bear comparisons to Heat. And yet Wrath of Man (which is actually based on a little-seen French crime-thriller) does branch away from some of Ritchie’s standards, first of all by being far darker and even more violent with any of the wisecracking humor that pervades a lot of Ritchie’s work to counterbalance such violence disappearing once the flashbacks begin. It’s all punctuated by a fantastically tense score by Christopher Benstead, which seems a bit much at first but eventually settles into the perfect pace and tone for the action.

Despite disappearing for a good chunk of the movie, Statham is still great, basically killing everyone as his characters are wont to do, but watching how all of the different ideas come together leads to such a satisfying conclusion that one hopes those who might be put off, thinking they know where it's going due to the somewhat pathetic and obvious marketing will give it a chance to see how Ritchie has changed gears as effortlessly as he did with Aladdin a few years back.

Rating: 7.5/10

After even a longer time since he directed a movie, Billy Crystal once again takes the helm for HERE TODAY (Sony/Stage6), a movie in which he plays comedy writer Charlie Burns, whose chance encounter with Tiffany Haddish’s lounge singer, Emma Payge, leads to an unlikely friendship, as he struggles with early stage dementia.

I’ve known about this movie for over a year now, and I was pretty excited to finally get to see it, since I was such a fan of the other movies Crystal has directed, 1992’s Mr. Saturday Night and 1995’s Forget Paris, and it’s just amazing to me that he hasn’t directed a movie since.

At first, it seems like it’s the type of meet-cute we’ve seen so much in Crystal’s past filmography, but his pairing with Haddish isn’t something that might work on paper, but in fact, their comic styles mesh so perfectly together that it’s amazing that no one thought of putting them together before.

Crystal wrote the film with comic Alan Zweibel, who adapted it from his own short story “The Prize,” which refers to Haddish’s character winning Charlie in an auction for a lunch. Actually, her ex won the lunch, and she decided to use it because… free lunch! It’s a pretty simple set-up but one that allows the filmmakers to explore some of the odder things that happen in life.

Much of the movie’s humor plays upon the differences between the two characters, and how unexpected their friendship is. I can totally relate, because I have a lot of good long-time friends who most people might never expect us to be friends, but Crystal, Zweibel and Haddish pick up on that and create a movie that’s very funny but has enough other characters around the duo toa allow their characters to show how they’re just really nice people. We see that with how Charlie takes a young writer at his late night show under his wing or how Emma livens up the bat mitzvah of Charlie’s granddaughter. Oh yeah, and Haddish sings. She actually has a number of great performances in the movie, and seriously, anyone who watches this movie is gonna wanna see a smart filmmaker put Haddish in a musical immediately.

The film also acts as a truly touching tribute to Crystal’s friend, the late Robin WIlliams, who was diagnosed with the exact same type of dementia after his suicide death, and knowing that fact, makes the film even more poignant. More importantly, it doesn’t use Charlie’s condition for laughs, and for that alone, I feel like this is ten times better than that overrated Oscar winner The Father.

Here Today’s biggest problems come in the third act when it feels like the movie is starting to over-extend its welcome, even going into somewhat expected places, but it recovers from that rough third act to land a really nice ending. Crystal has always proven himself to be a really strong mainstream filmmaker (ala Rob Reiner and others) who makes crowd-pleasing movies, and it’s so nice seeing him going behind the camera for a movie that’s obviously very personal but also highly relatable.

As far as box office, I certainly have high hopes that Crystal still has an older audience of fans who might want to see him on the big screen again. I’m just not sure if this will be in more than 1,000 theaters, and though I’ve seen quite a bit of marketing, I just haven’t seen Crystal or Haddish do nearly as much in terms of getting out there that would be necessary to reach an audience that might want to venture out into movie theaters to see the movie vs. waiting until it’s on cable/streaming. There’s also Tiffany Haddish’ fanbase, and there could be some benefit for the movie coming out the same week as her new CBS show “Kids Say the Darndest Things.”

I’d love to be optimistic with this making $4 to 5 million but it’s probably more likely to be closer to $3 million especially with capacity limits still in place for most theaters and the audience generally being older.

UPDATE: Maybe I was a little too optimistic, because I enjoyed the movie so much and it will probably be closer to $1 or 1.5 million since other reviews aren't as great.

Next, we have two movies finally being released many years after their festival premieres…

The Swedish apocalyptic thriller THE UNTHINKABLE (Magnet), directed by Victor Danell, is finally being released after playing genre fests in 2018 and 2019. It stars Christoffer Nordenrot as Alex, a young piano virtuoso who ran away from home due to his abusive father Bjorn (Jesper Barkselius). Years later, he returns home for his mother’s funeral after she’s killed in a terrorist attack on Sweden. At the same, there’s a virus that’s erasing people’s memories, but Alex is still in love with Anna (Lisa Henni), the girl he had a crush on when he left, and the three of them will have to help each other face all the horrible things hitting their home at the same time.

As I was watching this movie, a lot of it felt eerily familiar to me, but I couldn’t figure out why. The more I watched it, the more I realized that I actually HAD seen the movie before. Sure enough, I saw this movie over two years ago at the “What the Fest?!” in New York two years ago, and I honestly don’t remember loving it. Still, I decided to give it a fresh look, hoping to get more out of it on second viewing.

Some of the same things bothered me on this second viewing, because it’s really hard to figure out exactly what is going on and whether the horrific events are natural, man-made or a combination of both. For some time, we get so mired into Alex’s lame relationship with Anna, and when he returns home, his conspiracy theory-driven father is busy protecting a bunker that’s being invaded by foreign military troops he thinks are Russians. We cut between these two disparate scenarios while sometimes returning to the capital of Sweden and throwing in a few big set pieces. It’s so disjointed that you feel like you’re watching a lot of random unrelated events, maybe a bit like last week’s About Endlessness -- maybe it’s a Swedish thing?

There are aspects of The Unthinkable that are quite commendable, particularly those action moments and how the mystery about what is happening develops as the film goes along. Eventually, the film does find a more consistent pace, and things start becoming a little clearer, which makes the final act better than much of what we’ve watched earlier. Even so, it’s still quite annoying how long it takes to figure out what’s going on, even on a second viewing, and for most people, that may already be far too frustrating to get through it.

Hitting Netflix on Friday over THREE years after it premiered at Sundance is music video director Anthony Mandler’s directorial debut, MONSTER (Netflix), based on the novel by Walter Dean Myers. It stars Kelvin Harrison Jr. (Waves) as Steve Harmon, a 17-year-old film student put in jail, accused of murder in a bodega robbery. His defense lawyer (Jennifer Ehle) is trying to help him be released, but he’s fighting against the odds of a judicial system that sees him as a “monster” because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I have to be honest that I did go to see this at Sundance the week it premiered, and for whatever reason, I just wasn’t feeling it, so I only really caught about twenty minutes of it. Watching it now with more time and a little less weary than I usually am towards the end of Sundance, I was able to appreciate Monster more for what it is. On the surface, it’s just about Steve’s case and how what really happened unfolds before our eyes and we learn more about those around Steve and how their influence may have pulled a smart and studious young man into the criminal world that now has him in prison with much more violent life-long criminals.

We already knew that Harrison was a great actor, but Monster shows us that he was already on his way to greatness with this movie that for whatever reason got buried even as it dealt with issues that have been in the headlines almost every day since this debuted.

Mandler takes an interesting approach, both non-linear and also with blatant nods to Kurosawa’s Rashomon, which is even cited by Steve’s teacher, played by Tim Blake Nelson. Jeffrey Wright and Jennifer Hudson are decent as Steve’s parents, but they’re generally smaller and non-showy roles compared to the moments between Harrison and Ehle. Much of the film takes place in the courtroom with flashbacks showing what happened through the viewpoint of whomever is on the stand, which eventually includes Steve himself.

The way Mandler handles the material may lean more on the artiness rather than something more mainstream -- Michael B. Jordan’s Just Mercy comes to mind -- but it’s just as powerful in showing how someone like Steve can be othered by society into being a criminal. Sure, there have been other handlings of this sort of material that I thought were better films, but if you know anyone who has ever had dealings with the “justice” system and know how unfair and horrible it can be even to the innocent, then Monster will certainly strike a chord.

Also hitting Netflix this week is the new series based on Mark Millar and Frank Quitely‘s comic books, JUPITER’S LEGACY (Netflix), another kind of twist on the superhero genre ala Amazon Prime Video’s series based on Warren Ellis and Darick Robertson’s The Boys. I love the comics, and I can’t wait to finally get around to seeing Netflix’s first adaptation of a Millarworld property.

David Oyelowo makes his directorial debut with THE WATER MAN (RLJEfilms), a movie about a young boy named Gunner Boon (Lonnie Chavis), whose mother (Rosario Dawson) is battling leukemia. In an effort to cure her, Guner goes off on a journey along with a teenage girl named Jo (Amiah Miller) to find the mythical Water Man, who can provide them with a magic token that might save Gunner’s mother’s life.

I’ve interviewed Oyelowo a few times before, and I really like him a lot, so I had really high hopes for him as a director since I feel he’s just a terrific actor. Unfortunately, the material here is just not strong enough that I think even a far more experienced filmmaker could make something out of it.

Set in PIne Hills, we meet Gunner, a bright kid who loves drawing comic books, but he has trouble connecting with his father (Oyelowo), so when he has an idea that might help his sick mother, he goes off with a head-strong teen named Jo, in search of the Water Man, a summertime adventure permeated by a lot of very bad low-budget visual effects.

Honestly, I’m not even sure where to begin with where The Water Man falters, because Oyelowo has such a great cast, including Alfred Molina and Maria Bello in tiny parts. The story is a problem, as is the writing, which is just so bland and dull, that there’s really nothing in Oyelowo’s direction or any of the performances that really can salvage it. Neither of the child actors have much charisma or personality, and even Dawson’s performance, which would normally be a showstopper is repeatedly lessened by the constant cutting back to the kids. (And as someone who beat leukemia myself, I’m never a fan when cancer is depicted in movies as a death sentence rather than just another hurdle in life that needs to be overcome.)

Oyelowo himself may be one of his generation’s best actors, but he brings so little to the role of Gunner’s father, maybe to not take away from his younger star, but it hurts that he doesn’t do more to create a stronger conflict by making the character more horrible to drive Gunner away. The actual Water Man doesn’t improve things when he finally shows up, essentially talking like a pirate but not even remotely paying off.

Honestly, The Water Man seems like such a misguided venture -- Exec. Produced by Oprah, no less -- and it might have been totally forgettable if the characters didn’t keep saying the title of the movie every five minutes.

Hitting theaters Friday after a festival run is Tran Quoc Bao’s action-comedy THE PAPER TIGERS (WELL GO USA), starring ALain Uy, Ron Yuan and Mikel Shannon Jenkins as martial artists once known as “the three tigers but now middle-aged men must set aside old grudges and dad duties to avenge the murder of their teacher. I’ve had a screener of this since last summer when it played at Fantasia Festival in Montreal, and I just never got around to watching it, but if I’m able to squeeze it in before the weekend, check back here for my review.

Streaming on Shudder this Friday is Ryan Kruger's South African comedy-thriller FRIED BARRY (Shudder), starring Gary Green as Barry, a violent street junkie who is abducted by aliens who take over his body in order to… well, actually… they do a lot of drugs, have a lot of sex and other craziness. It’s a pretty strange and bizarre movie that reminds me a little of movies like a lower-fi Under the Skin or Beyond the Black Rainbow, and much of it is driven by the insane and unique performance by Green and the odd characters he encounters that I think will find its fans for sure, but it will definitely be for a very select audience of genre festival fans, as this is by no means a mainstream genre film.

Speaking of which, another movie out this week which I wasn’t allowed to see in advance is Gia Coppola’s MAINSTREAM (IFC Films), starring Maya Hawke as a young woman seeking internet stardom by making YouTube videos with a charismatic stranger, played by Andrew Garfield, until “the dark side of viral celebrity threatens to ruin them both.” Yup, it’s one of THOSE movies. It also stars Nat Wolff, Jason Schwartzman and Johnny Knoxville, but I haven’t heard anything good about it, and I’m not sure my curiosity is piqued enough to spend any of my own personal money to check it out.

Hitting Amazon on Friday is the doc THE BOY FROM MEDELLIN (Amazon) from Matthew Heineman (City of Ghosts, Cartel Land), a portrait of musical superstar J. Balvin, as he prepares for a massive sold-out stadium show in his hometown of Medellin, Colombia, which is hindered by the growing civil unrest in the area.

Lots of other movies this week, but a few that i just wasn’t able to get to this week, including:

ABOVE SUSPICION (Lionsgate) INITIATION (Saban Films) ENFANT TERRIBLE (Dark Star Pictures) QUEEN MARIE (Samuel Goldwyn Films) SILO (Oscilloscope) CITIZEN PENN (Discovery+)

That’s it for this week. Next week, Chris Rock and Samuel L. Jackson star in SPIRAL: FROM THE BOOK OF SAW (Lionsgate) and Angelina Jolie returns for the thriller THOSE WHO WISH ME DEAD (New Line) and Timur Bekmambetov’s thriller, PROFILE (Focus Features). That’s right. This will be the first weekend in over a year where we’ll have three or maybe even four new wide releases.

#TheWeekendWarrior #Movies #Reviews #WrathOfMan #HereToday #Monster #The Unthinkable #TheWaterMan

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acesian · 4 years

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Anyway if you want to talk about discrimination of Asians in the LGBTQ+ community, let’s actually focus on the way LGBTQ+ Asians are treated!

The paper “‘I never felt targeted as an Asian … until I went to a gay pub’: Sexual racism and the aesthetic geographies of the bad encounter” by David Ruez covered many interviews with queer Asian men, here’s some of their stories:

Mark, Malaysian, late 20s:

“I was at a foam party, and I was making out with some guy and having a good time and his friends had been looking for him, and they came back to find him and... they basically looked at me—so, they found him and saw that he was making out with someone and, then they decided to make quite horrible racist remarks about me—to the effect of ‘why on earth are you making out with him, you know...the Asian guy... couldn’t you do better?’

I was so shocked, and he actually didn’t say anything—now, I don’t know how drunk or whatever he was but he didn’t say anything—and I was just so shocked. I just pulled away, and I disappeared into the back of the crowd, and I actually felt, apart from the shock, I actually felt ashamed to be there at that point, and I was like, my God, I can’t believe someone actually said that, and I actually feel horrible to the point where I need to hide now. And I actually felt shame at that point, and it was just the most strange and yucky feeling... so that was pretty shocking to me and painful and hurtful.

I thought this was a gay club and, you know, if anyone should understand discrimination, it should be here... evidently no.

So then I began to pick up–going to other clubs with other friends and, I pick up other things– people walk into a club and, give remarks just in general, like oh my gosh, ‘‘why did you bring me here,’’ you know, ‘‘there’s so many Asians, can we go somewhere else?’’ That was... I had never heard that before. So I guess, my eyes did open a little bit and made me be a bit more street savvy I guess, which was disappointing.

At the same time, I met some of the most wonderful people. You know, I think I, like any community, I’ve met the best of the crowd and maybe—hopefully not—the worst, and, dare I say some of them are my friends; you know like they might say something inadvertently and they don’t see me as Asian particularly but, they might say something and, then I’d be like ‘‘really did you just say that? I can’t believe you just said’’, and I picked them up on it.

Marvin, Filipino, early 20s:

There are so many stereotypes. The way they see Asians as feminine, passive, always a bottom. It can really limit you. Even if you’re those things... People don’t see you outside of those things. So they either like you or they don’t, you know, but not for who you really are.

Jun, Malaysian, 50s:

I think another mark of status is whether you come from that country that’s progressive in terms of its gay politics. So you come from a country where the gay politics are not progressive then your status is lower.

I had been traumatized by it you know like over a period of 30 years. It’s a slow sort of trauma, like you get rejected bit-by-bit you know, month after month, slowly and then you try to reconcile that, and you can never do that. And then, yeah I find I built a kind of resistance to it. But I’m aware that, for example, out in the gay scene, there will be some people who will never be interested in me because they are very white, and they’re very into whatever they are into... I think it’s very traumatizing.... And we’re not talking like just a few people. It’s like most of the people.

Tying into Jun’s first comment, the article “Gay Asian Americans Are Seen as More American Than Asian Americans Who Are Presumed Straight” by Mika Semrow, Linda Zou, Shuyang Liu, and Sapna Cheryan discusses studies on the perception of Asian Americans differs based on orientation. Though Asian Americans are frequently stereotyped as foreigners, gay Asian Americans are perceived as less foreign than their presumably cis straight counterparts. These results are linked to the perception of America’s tolerance for LGBTQ+ individuals compared to Asian countries’ perceived tolerances. The authors also discuss how the intersection of race and orientation influences the way Asians are treated by others in America (e.g. lessened questioning of one’s American identity versus increased discrimination based on orientation).

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to get access to the paper “‘Brown girls can’t be gay’: Racism experienced by queer South Asian women in the Toronto LGBTQ community” by Sonali Patel, but it similarly details the prejudiced beliefs against, unsurprisingly, queer South Asian women.

All three of the interviews above mentioned some form of sexual/dating racism, but may also manifest itself differently. White men who fetishize East Asian men are often referred to “Rice Queens”, which is a seemingly innocent phrase for something so gross.

Sexual/dating racism is especially well-known on dating apps—Grindr literally launched the “Kindr” initiative to tackle, among other things, people saying things like “no rice” to Asian users. (Though I believe ethnicity is still a filter.)

These stereotypes and these types of treatment do not stem from the existence of asexuals or other LGBTQ+ groups, they arise from bigotry and unchallenged racism. This issue is serious, and should not to be blamed on any LGBTQ+ identity, but rather on the racial messages embedded into societies that favor white people and disservice racial minorities.

#long post #racism #lgbt #lgbtq #I included the titles and authors but not links because tumblr hides things with external links #but this way you can still search for them #queer #asian #asians #saved #mine

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innalterable · 5 years

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[ park chaeyoung, 22 ] did you hear? there’s a new addition to the hypehens family! [ innalterable ] was starting to get known for [ speed paints, tutorials & supplies reviews ] and i think they will hit it big this time around as a part of the [ expresso ] squad at hypehens. [ kwang inna ] is known to be [ friendly & impulsive ] and enjoys [ collecting polaroids ]. with their vibes of [ singing horribly while taking a shower & enamel pins all over a denim jacket ] and a style that is unique, i think they are going to take the internet by storm!

hello everyone! i’m glad to introduce you to my daughter inna / danna! she’s a bit of a mess that only wants to spend the whole day in her home painting if possible. you can find her basics here, personality here, background here. if you're interested in plotting, you can find me in discord at internebula#6982!

without furher ado, here’s more about her:

basic information

― full name: kwang inna ― nickname: nana ― age: twenty two ― date of birth: february 11th, 1998 ― birthplace: los angeles, california. ― current location: seoul, south korea ― ethnicity: asian ― nationality: (dual nationality) korean-american ― gender: cisfemale ― pronouns: she/her ― orientation: bisexual, demiromantic. ― religion: atheist ― occupation: content creator, freelance artist ― language(s) spoken: korean (fluent), english (fluent)

physical appearance

― faceclaim: park chaeyoung (rosé) of blackpink ― hair: naturally brown, currently dyed blonde. often put in messy buns, ponytails, french braids but also let loose with casual curls she gets from sleeping with her hair braided. ― eye colour: coffee brown ― height: 168cm ― weight: 45kg ― tattoos: four; the great wave off kanagawa on her right arm, flowery half sleeve on her left arm, moon arrow behind right ear and a matching triangle tattoo with her brother on her right inner forearm. ― piercings: lobe and upper lobe in both ears, anti-tragus on the left one, double helix on the right one. ― clothing style: high-waisted skirts, dresses that flow nicely with the wind, mom jeans that are a bit too long for her, graphic t-shirts she’s gotten from garage sales and thrift shops, oversized jackets she’s customized with either paint or enamel pins or patches, long coats that resemble those of classic detectives, her good ol’ dr. marteens in a variety of colors, knee and thigh high socks, athleisure outfits (consisting mainly of leggins and big sweatshirts), crop-tops, sling bags, whatever pair of sneakers she finds and matching bag or backpack.

headcanons

― born and raised in los angeles, her parents moved to usa right after they got married in their mid twenties only because of the feeling of adventure. they both got stable jobs there and even though her mom was the one that struggled the most with the different language, with the help of her husband she was able to improve steadily.

― ever since she was young, inna has showcased exceptional skills when it came to drawing and painting (if you consider the crayon scattered all over the walls of their apartment back in los angeles as art). always restless, she got easily bored with the common toys and games, only truly finding joy in the coloring books her parents always got her instead of dolls and an easy bake oven.

― she has always been heavily spoiled by every member of their family and inna grew used to this. it was no surprise that she always got what she wanted with a simple smile and her trademark grabby hands (she still does this till now and it’s absolutely gross). the one that spoiled her the most was her brother.

― inna holds dear every member of her family and despite being the ultimate spoiled princess, she always offered help around the house when she became older and realized that everyone had to do something for their household. she hated washing dishes though and always traded that task with her brother to the point that it became a natural thing for him to wash them and for her to mop and take the trash out. to this day, she will avoid washing dishes at any cost and her apartment often has a pile of dirty dishes which only makes it worse when she runs out of clean ones.

― the divorce of her parents hit her hard (spoiler alert: her father was awful when no one was seeing and cheated a lot on her mom, which she forgave every damn time until he crossed the line and brought another girl to their place) mainly because she didn’t understand what was happening at the moment and no one took their time to explain it to her. it was difficult to deal with her behaviour back then, she threw really loud tantrums and demanded to see her father almost daily and, whenever this didn’t happen, she’d go on a silent protest by not doing anything they asked her to. it’s years later that she understands everything (thanks to an argument she had with her brother for defending her dad and he just exploded). this, of course, greatly disappointed her and made her feel bad for still standing by her dad’s side.

― after that, inna just like her brother, closed a little to their father even though he was still as kind, loving and caring as ever with them despite everything. his attitude made her doubt her mother and brother several times, but then came the first girlfriend he ever introduced to them, and then the second… and so on.

― it was obvious that her mother drastically changed after the divorce and this scared inna a lot: letting someone in and become vulnerable with them only to have your heart broken sounded absolutely painful. and she didn’t want that. plus, her mom’s constant reminders of how she can’t trust anyone that its not her or her brother stayed deeply engraved within her.

― she’s never had a stable relationship, if anything, the longer she’s “gone out” with someone is a couple of weeks and after that, she ghosted them with no remorse. inna has had crushes in the past, but rarely ever actively pursues someone unless she’s really curious or interested to know more about them. nonetheless, she's a bit of a flirt and tends to get clingy and touchy when she's comfortable/close enough with someone.

― school is difficult in every stage for her, always getting rather mediocre grades in most of her classes except those that required a more creative and practical approach. simply put: she was bad at theoric classes and anything related to math and physics. though, inna was always close to failing but never did so. this was just one of the many reasons she didn’t want to pursue a college education.

― the creation of her channel is all thanks to her brother, her self-proclaimed number one fan and the one person that’s always encouraged her to keep going with her art. he suggested the idea and told her that they could do a testing video to see how comfortable she felt with it before uploading it. turns out, inna was more than okay with the camera for it focused on her hands and process the whole time. voice over was not necessary back then but as her channel evolved, so did the quality and content of her videos. steadily, she introduced different aspects of herself, starting with her voice by doing easy-to-follow tutorials and later on, her face was revealed when doing an art haul video. this helped her become more comfortable with the camera and now, every couple of weeks she posts vlogs of her visits to museums or events or just updates for her community.

― despite her popularity and some people even recognising her on the streets, inna has never considered herself to be a celebrity. in fact, she feels awkward with the title for she considers her channel to be just another one. she appreciates though whenever her prints get sold out or when someone asks for her autograph and a photo or even when she is invited to events as a special guest.

― the kind to get really excited when talking about things she likes. don’t get her started on her favorite medium or her favorite painting because she might go on for twenty seven minutes straight about how watercolors are the superior medium to work with.

― she likes experimenting with any and every medium out there, particularly enjoying art subscription boxes that always surprised her and push her out of her comfort zone. her specialization is landscapes and character design, though she’s recently learning to draw more animals and plants.

#hype!intro

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years

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Survey #259

"i went straight to heaven, but i kept on knockin’.”

What's something that makes you feel more creative? Music. What are the last three nail polish colors you wore? Wow, idk the last time I wore nail polish, but probably black or maroon. What's the last thing you binge watched? Avatar: The Last Airbender w/ Sara. Do you watch youtube videos or tv shows more? YouTube is essentially my TV. Quite literally - I don't have a television in my room because I never watch it. What's a DIY project that you don't think actually works? Oh dude, plenty. I have DIY-obsessed friends online as well as a Pinterest, I know this shit, lmao. I can name one though with total certainty because I was with a friend when she tried that disgusting "YOU CAN MAKE cuPCAkES IN A C uP!!!!!" crap. It's the most eggy shit you'll ever try. Do you collect Mason jars to use for crafts? No, but I think those crafts are generally super cute. Have you ever gotten rid of something and then regretted it? If so, what? (or what's one thing?) Oh yeah, one of my biggest being my senior prom pictures, but not for the reason you'd expect (save for two pictures of us that're just REALLY fuckin cute): I want them back because goddamn I was pretty ok and I miss that now that I hate my body every waking moment of every day. :^) What color is the zip-up hoodie you wear the most? Don't have one w/ a zipper, they're ugly. Do you live in an apartment that has inspections? No. Do you hate taking naps during the day? Nooo I love naps and usually take one a day. I tend to feel really tired all over again a few hours or so after I wake up. Who in your immediate family has the best natural hair? MEEEEEEEEEEEE. Would you ever audition for American Idol? Hell no. Do you know anyone who thinks they're more talented than they are? Lol wow, this is mean. I don't think so. Do you buy gum? Rarely, even though I like it. What's your favorite dollar store? I don’t have a favorite, I'd say? But I think we normally go to Dollar General. How many cell phones have you had in your lifetime? Maybe like, six? Have you ever been inside a Victorian mansion? BITCH I WISH!!!!!!!!!!!! I would kill to get married in one, omfGGGGGGGGGGG. What was the most boring field trip you ever want on? I don't remember a bad one. I loved going on field trips. The last time you went, what were your favorite rides at Cedar Point? I’ve never been. Which country would you most like to visit? Eeeeek idk, but probably South Africa. What are your favorite types of videos to watch on YouTube? What I watch on YouTube has become pretty diverse, but I know my favorites are easily Mark's actual big projects w/ egos 'n shit alksjdflk;w gOOD SHIT MY FRIENDS. I still love let's plays, of course! Are you a hoarder? No. Is there a guy (or girl) that you wish things had worked out with? Yes. If you were to start a collection, what would it be? I'd loooove Shadow of the Colossus stuff, particularly the amazing figures they used to have only in Japan. And World of Warcraft stuff; all I have rn is an Illidan poster and a fae dragon plushy hanging from my ceiling that Jason got me. If you were rich, what things would you get done cosmetically? Mother of god, a lot. #1, make me skinny again for the love of fuck. Which would result in loose skin being taken off and probably a breast lift because being overweight ruined my comfort with them laskdjfw. Whiten my teeth and give me laser hair removal surgery on my legs, please. Are your parents too controlling? Not at all. Who is your favorite fictitious redhead? VOL'JIN Blizzard what the FUCK give him BACK What shows have you seen on Broadway? None. Who is the prettiest Asian YouTuber that you can think of? Bitch Mark is Korean and he's gorgeous as fuck goddamn it ain't fair. But this is a weird question. What is the best news you've heard lately? When my mom got a follow-up blood test, things looked good!! She especially needed to level out her sugar, which she did well on. She also didn't lose or gain any weight, so that's wonderful. Have you ever flown first class? Hunny I am v poor. Have you ever had food SO bad in a restaurant that you sent it back? I don't believe so, anyway. Do you talk in your sleep? Very regularly now. Have you ever locked yourself out of your house? OOF, yes. Are you the type of person who can shake insults off easily, or do they tend to stick around in your brain & bother you? They stick with me for a long, long time. At least two I remember from years upon years ago. Who was the last person you cut out of your life intentionally? My old therapist that I trusted and loved when I fucking shouldn't have. Where were you raised? By who? Eastern NC, by my parents. What were your first words? "Dada." What were some of your favorite things when you were young? DINOSAURS, Webkinz, Pokemon, and Spyro, to name a few. What did you grow up listening to? Mostly country and pop music. What games did you play in the past? Spyro was my obsession, and I also loved hunting games (ironic, as irl I would never even consider it???) as well as fishing ones, plus Crash Bandicoot. What was the best birthday party you ever had? I'm not sure. How about the best vacation? I'm unsure; I haven't really been on a lot. Do you have any secrets you never intend to tell? Yup. What memory would you like to disappear from your mind forever? A nightmare I had about my dad. If you were someone else, would you be friends with the person you are now? Yeah. Do you consider yourself a smart person? No. What friend in your life has been the greatest influence to you? I don't know. Where is the scariest place you’ve ever been? What made it so terrifying? I shared a bedroom with an EXTREMELY volatile, violent woman once in the mental hospital. As in she had to go in solitary when she had a violent episode, during which she became very destructive to her surroundings, so as you could guess, I was worried about my own wellbeing. She was eventually moved because I was that uncomfortable. Did you celebrate Easter? Are there any holidays you are more inclined to celebrate than others? If so, which? Well, Easter hasn't come yet, but we'll probably go to my sister's house for the kids. We'll celebrate Christmas and Thanksgiving without fail. We don't pay much attention to others. I'd LOVE to do something for Halloween, we just never have anywhere to go/anything to do. What was the last thing you deleted? Pictures. What colors make up the majority of your wardrobe? Is there any color you like, but don’t wear often? There's black there. Oh, there's s'more black. What's that???? More bLACK????? MAN, I wish I could pull off pink. When was the last time you were in any amount of pain? I had a pretty intense headache yesterday. Who was the last person to hug you? Do you hug this person often? My niece, and yeah, every time I visit. What are you most likely to argue or debate about? The fact I almost never leave my pajamas lmao. What was the last show you watched? Have you seen it before, or is it something you’re watching for the first time? A few days back, I was reeeaaally bored and actually watched TV deliberately, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?????? It was The Witcher; wasn't bad. I'd be willing to watch more. How would you describe your taste in clothing? What would a dream outfit look like to you? uuuuuggggGHHHHHHHH let me be GOTH. Give me a corsette if they weren't notoriously uncomf with plenty of chains 'n stuff. BIG, SPIKY BOOTS. SKINNY LEATHER PANTS. UUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHH. Have you ever tried snowboarding? No. What’s your favorite planet besides Earth? Saturn is dope. Would you ever be a coach for any sport? Nope. What color of eyes do you have? Blue. Do you like tacos? NOOOOOOOOO. White or red wine? Wine is gross. Do you prefer foxes or wolves? Foxes. What’s the youngest you would consider dating? No younger than 21. Do you think suits are sexy? mmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Did you go to high school with your current best friend? No. What is your boss’ (or school prinicpal’s) name? N/A Were you a fan of Michael Jackson before he died? I was never really a fan. Respected him immensely as a musician, I just didn't care much about his music. Turkey or ham for Thanksgiving? Ham. Turkey is always too dry and stringy. Do you look good in hats? I wouldn't know, I haven't worn one in forever. Never with short hair. Colons or equal signs for your smiley face's eyes? Colons. Do you like architecture? If so, do you have a favourite style or structure that you’d like to make note? Yes, and I should really have an answer for this, as architecture was a big part in Art History... Ummm Etruscan stands out, and of course Roman/Greek (even after the class I don't remember their differences well...). I love Middle Eastern architecture, too. What is one of your favorite words, in any language, and why? I just love the sound of "serendipity," as well as uhhhh "sakura" in Japanese and "kanji" in Chinese. I'm trying to think of a German one, as there certainly are some, but they're evading me right now. Where is the farthest you’ve travelled on foot? JESUS FUCK probably going to get Sara's brother from school, mother of all that is holy. But it might just feel like it because it was during the peak of my muscle atrophy in my legs. Are there any songs that you perhaps like but avoid because it makes you sad when heard? A good number. Do you like the area that you live in? What do you like or dislike about the area? NO. There's not shit to do and it's not aesthetically pleasing at all. Do you have a memory of when you really thought that you have lucked out on something? If so, what was it? Uhhhhh. A handful, I guess? Oh, uh, the suicide attempt to name one and probably the biggest. I took way too many of those pills to experience almost zero symptoms of an overdose; I did look up what "too many" was, because I wanted that. I'd say I was pretty fuckin lucky. If you have apps on your mobile phone, which one do you use the most? Facebook. Which do you like better: fantasy or science fiction novels? Why? FANTASY!!! I think it allows more creativity and possibilities of something magically "making sense" because yeah, it's fantasy. Science fiction has more "realness" to it, more, obviously, scientific elements versus make-believe. Do you like opossums? Do you think it is ethically right for others to keep opossums as pets? OPOSSUMS!!!!!!!!! ARE!!!!!!!!!! FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They're my second-favorite animals kdsja;lkdjaw. BUT ANYWAY, no, unless it's for rescue reasons. When was the last time someone asked you a huge favor or advice? Do you get asked often by this person? Oh I have no idea. Probably my mom? And no, definitely not. She hates asking for help. What are your thoughts on nihilism? I definitely get it, but it's not my personal outlook. Do you like the snow? More like love. What are your thoughts and feelings towards work/jobs in general? I don't know? I've never even had a real, steady job, so it's hard to really answer... I've only had bad experiences. It's kinda weird to me how you have to work your ass off (usually) to get a job you enjoy, as well as slave for some stupid green paper until the day you die just to stay alive and healthy. But at the same time, it offers a sense of fulfilment and is as well something productive and beneficial to the masses to do. Civilization would be very, very different and unadvanced if we were without them, so I guess it is a necessary thing. Humans gotta work together to keep where we're at. Do you believe in astrology? I've never actually elaborated why I don't believe in it so there ya go: not in the slightest. All it does is offer extremely broad characteristics that, in some light, almost anyone can relate to so they feel included in something. We naturally want to "belong" within something as social creatures, and astrology is an easy one with it being so vast. It gives equally indirect advice that can be applied to a multitude of situations, so people just mold what they read to fit their world. Don't base your goddamn life choices on the random positioning of shit in space. What is something that you’ve made/created? Do you take pride in your creations? Well, way way way too many OCs that I do indeed love a hell of a lot. If you have a Tumblr account, do you have any followers that you wish would not follow you? Well I'm sure there are bots. What kind of books do you generally enjoy to read? Fantasy stuff, mostly. But I also love novels with deep meaning, particularly about life in general. A good plot is mandatory. Does the quality of a video, on YouTube or a television, matter to you? I mean of course in some situations, like if I'm watching something educational/something to gain visual knowledge from. What is one situation that may cause you to become shy (if there is any)? Don't don't don't don't don't point out that my serious interests/things I massively love are "weird" like it's been years and I can still barely explain why my biggest tattoo is a tribute to some fuckface on the Internet lmao. When one is depressed, what can a friend do about it? Do you find that there is a good method to approach people in helping them combat depression? It is SO important to, first, ask them what they want. Do they want advice, an ear to just listen, just your presence, to be alone? As for combating depression, that greatly depends on the origin (if any) of theirs. There are so many factors in answering this question, but what I mentioned should, imo, always be the start. Do you tend to listen to music that embraces your mood or does music dictate your mood? Is it a little bit of both? Definitely both. When I'm sad though, I'm almost definitely listening to somber music too. Do you find yourself to be generally a forgiving person? I'm too goddamn forgiving. Do you have an embarrassing memory that you now look back at and can laugh? If so and if you’re comfortable, could you share one here? Omg I have a Bible-length collection of those suckers. I'd prefer not to. What is one skill that you have worked hard to develop? Is there still room for improvement on that skill? Damn, anxiety-coping mechanisms and actually trusting them to help me through attacks. I used to be convinced that they were useless because it just wouldn't work and weren't immediately effective, but you've gooooooot to trust the process, friends. What do you consider to be your main passion(s) and how did they come about? Spreading awareness of the seriousness of mental health and the comfort of knowing there's hope. You can never stop pushing. My own experience with mental health struggles is definitely the deeeep roots of that. Who do you think influenced you the most in your life so far? Why? Jason changed my life in many ways. Trauma does that. He taught me a lot about the necessity of having faith in yourself to survive on your own, a shitload about love and how it's not some fairy tale, and that people change, even those you least expect to. What is something that you have overheard people talk about that really bothered you? I could name more than a few things about race stuff, living where I do. What do you normally say or how do you normally act in response to a compliment? I usually do this shy laugh and say "thank you" with too much enthusiasm. How many books do you own? Do you have more physical books than electronic books? I've no clue where a lot of my old ones are. I have no electronic ones; I strongly prefer to read a physical book. What are your thoughts on higher education? Is it really necessary? In your opinion, what changes can be made? Depending on your aspiring career, it can be necessary, but just as easily, it can be unnecessary. I know for a fucking fact it should not be NEARLY as expensive as it is. Maybe even free, but I have no idea what monetary concerns that could cause with whoever runs the place. Have you ever received a heartfelt compliment from a stranger? Probably at some point. How many people would you consider to be extremely close to you? "Extremely"... like three lmao. Maybe one more or so. When was the last time you had to speak to a crowd? How well did that go? When I was taking pictures at a wedding last. It went okay. How would you describe your general outlook towards humanity? We by no means deserve to be the apex predator and Earth would be a shitload better without us. How long do you think you could last without any contact with your significant other, best friend, or a person whom you consider would be the closest to you? I'll use my mom here, in which case idk. I don't particularly want to find out. I talk to her at LEAST by text daily. Every day now that she can't work/is always home with me. Have you ever realised that someone was lying, but it was too late to confront them? Nope. Eventually speaking up is how I lost her, but.

#survey #quiz #questions

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jyou-no-sonoko19 · 5 years

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29, 55, 71!

Thank you! :3

29: Have you ever kept a journal, do you now?

As a kid, say 8-13, I kept diaries very consistently, had a huge collection of filled ones that I kept in a shoe box. I particularly liked the really little ones, where you could only get like 50 words on a page, and nice shiny brocade covers. As I got older I started having to write things like “Dear Diary [which I used because I’d seen it on TV], sorry I haven’t written for a while…” and it just got more and more like that, until I gave up, full of guilt.

I started keeping a digital dream journal in my late teens, because I have such complex, narrative dreams that I wanted to keep track of them, like the little films they were. It also gave me an understanding of my internalized fears and insecurities, of how my brain tends to transform certain anxieties into specific types of imagery. I learnt that my emotional state was almost always indicated by some manner of water, and in cases where I was feeling overwhelmed in life, there was usually scenarios where entire buildings were flooded, to the degree that you had to swim from place to place at times. Malls, schools, general public spaces.

When I did my teaching prac, we were required to keep a teaching journal, reflecting on our days in the classroom, to see how we were progressing and tracking our emotional state, in an A4 journal. These weren’t actually to be graded, we just had to show that we made them, so one could make them as deeply personal as we wanted. I ended up writing somewhere in the general region of 8 pages a night! Not sure I could go back and read them now, though, because it was a super emotional time, and reliving that kind of intense experience feels a bit too masochistic, honestly! It was very therapeutic at the time though. Very much a good idea on the part of my university.

55: What is your favourite season, why?

Now, I come from a city that doesn’t have seasons, per se. And the weather changes a lot during the course of a day. Meaning we’re very much a culture of layering and carrying around back-up jackets just in case. But I would say the simplest answer is: Not hot. Oh please not hot. The sun is my enemy, and having redhead skin in Africa means that I have already had one cancer sliced off my face. I love Japan because you get pretty-coloured Autumn that we really don’t get here, and these deep icy winters. But I don’t like the chill winds that get in you, so I think I’d say late Autumn over there, and a maximum of 25 degrees celsius here!

71: What’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on?

Oof, that’s a toughie. To be honest, I tend to tune out public noise and while I was teaching I especially tried to keep my ears to myself. But when I’m asked about stuff I’ve overheard that sticks in my mind, there is one example that’s less crazy and more, like… infuriating. And gross.

A few years ago, my best girl and I were in Tokyo, taking the metro somewhere, and across the way from us were two foreigners, who had clearly just met: a slight blonde girl with some kind of Scandewegian accent, who could not have been older than 18 at the maximum, this was probably her gap year or something; and a looming dude with a South West Asian look, in the age range of like mid-twenties, early-thirties, and like… mega Pick Up Artist vibes. He was snappily dressed and his hair was so slicked back it was virtually a bobsled helmet. And he was hitting on her so hard. Like, he had his arm up on the vertical rail next to her, doing that commanding body language thing, and she was entirely oblivious to what was going on, like so obviously impressed by this smooth-ass guy.

So as we’re watching, he leans in too close for my comfort, and is like “You know…….. you really get me. I feel like a lot of girls just don’t listen, don’t pay attention. But you’re different, you’re special.” I stg our eyes could not have rolled further in our skulls. And she was eating it up. Nary a redflag sighted. Doing star-eyes. And the two of us were blatantly staring, like at her and him, waiting to give WTF?? eyes to either of them, but they were in this interchange for the longhaul. He’s still laying it on, and says “So… what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?” Ugh. Uuuuuughhhhh. She’s giggling and he goes, “But seriously, the craziest, come on you can share.” And she starts telling him about skydiving that she did with her friends, and he’s all fake impressed, all ”Woooow, you see, I was right, you’re a free spirit, you get it. You get it.”

And like… we wanted to do something. We did. But she seemed fine, not nervous at all, and ostensibly she was just going to walk away when she reached her stop, ostensibly she was just playing along, but tbh she looked dazzled af. And this is social convention stuff and we to this day wonder if we shouldn’t have gotten involved, said something, but as two non-intimidating women… and considering this young girl was in no actual danger, in a public place… it was really just a matter of skeezy vibes. We had to disembark, and there just was not enough threat level to get into a public confrontation.

So uh… yeah. There’s a story for you. As I said, we’re still in two minds about the whole thing, but… a girl like that, I really hope she starts to recognise predatory behaviour, particularly from older men. I mean, sure, it’s entirely possible she was playing him too. From a very different angle. One just can’t know.

#Thanks again!!#This has been a Ro journal

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cbcdiversity · 5 years

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Author Spotlight with Samira Ahmed

What inspired you to write INTERNMENT?

A lot of people ask me if I wrote INTERNMENT as a response to the anti-immigrant, fear mongering policies and stances of the current administration. The short answer to that is, no. I got the first seed of the idea for the story in late 2015. I finished an early draft of the novel 6 months before the Presidential election in November of 2016. To be sure, the xenophobic, racist, and Islamophobic rhetoric of the early primary season played a role in my thinking as I approached the novel and left a deep, and I believe, permanent impression on my mind and spirit. But Layla's journey in INTERNMENT is also deeply rooted in America's troubling past—in our history of othering those from marginalized groups, of scapegoating, of stripping citizens of their rights, of rounding up Americans who had committed no crimes and forcing them into internment camps as we did with the Japanese-Americans during World War Two. That history of nationalism and fascism on American soil is with us every day—we see it on the news, in Muslim bans, in the fight for a border wall, in hateful rhetoric that claims that some Nazis are also “very fine people,” in the faces of children who are ripped from their parents arms at border crossings and shuttled to camps surrounded by barb wire and then lost in a system that doesn't care about their lives.

Not going to lie, I have a lot of fear. But I also believe in hope. I channeled that fear and that hope into INTERNMENT. Because I believe in the power of people to speak out against oppression. I believe in the courage of children who will stand up and raise a fist even when the adults around them are silent and complicit. I believe in the ability of art to connect us and to show us who we are and, perhaps more importantly, who we want to be, as individuals and a nation.

As one of a handful of published South Asian or Muslim YA writers, do you feel pressure to make sure your characters will be viewed in a certain light, to be a representative of your religious or ethnic group?

I think every writer that comes from a marginalized background feels the pressure of representation. No book can be all things to all people. And no character can or should be "perfect." Yet when the normative in publishing is cis, het, and white, it is impossible not to feel the burden of having to represent your entire group. Authors of color are so often held to a higher standard than their white peers. We have to fight harder for fewer "slots" in a publishing world that, too often, and unfairly pits authors of the same marginalized background against each other. So many POC writers I know have the shared experience of being rejected because an agent or imprint already has a “similar story,” which often simply means that of their same religious, racial or ethnic background. We are not a monolith, yet too often stories by writers from marginalized backgrounds are treated as if we are. And we are subject to a particularly unfair type of scrutiny from a mostly white publishing world that stereotypes our experiences and sets their expectations accordingly. I think so much of Leonard Chang's appalling experience with THE LOCKPICKER and how he was rejected for his book not being "Asian enough." And for those young readers who rarely, if ever, get to see themselves in a book, I think it's natural to want to see that main character directly reflect their experience and to feel a pinch of disappointment when the character doesn't or is not perfect. Because those readers know all too well, that perfection is demanded of them, too. This is why we need diverse books. Publishing is, slowly, changing. Our bookshelves should reflect our world, and the beautiful variety of our experiences. Our readers deserve it.

The main characters in INTERNMENT and LOVE, HATE & OTHER FILTERS are both Indian American Muslims. Why is it important for you to tell their stories?

Being Muslim, being South Asian, growing up in an immigrant family—these words are not merely identifiers, they have shaped my experience as an American. They are who I am and my writing will always reflect that. Growing up in a virtually all-white, Christian small town, I was always the “other.” My religion was “foreign” or I was a “terrorist.” My skin color stood out. The sounds of me speaking Urdu to my parents sounded “funny” and shouldn't we “speak English” since we were in America? My food was “gross.” The henna on my hands was “weird.”

I have always lived in two worlds, straddled boundaries and so do my characters. These stories of kids who live their lives this way, always cast as half-outsider, deserve to be told. And it is my honor to tell them. I never saw a character that looked like me, that I could relate to in a deep way, in any book I read as a kid or a young adult. I hope I can help change that for kids today. Every child deserves to see themselves as a hero on the page. Every child deserves to be seen, to be known, to be loved. I hope that by writing stories about young Desi, Muslim American women that some kids will see their lives reflected in my books. I also hope that other readers will get a glimpse through a window into another life, another world that will ultimately show them the interconnectedness of all our lives.

This Q&A appeared in the March 2019 issue of the CBC Diversity Newsletter. To sign up for our monthly Diversity newsletter please click here.

Samira Ahmed is the New York Times bestselling author of Love, Hate & Other Filters and Internment, also an ABA Indie Next Pick. She was born in Bombay, India, and currently resides in Chicago.

#samira ahmed #internment #LIttle Brown Books for Young Readers #author illustrator spotlight #cbc diversity #yalit #diverse children's books

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millenniumfae · 6 years

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Dishonored Cooking: Rosewater Jelly

‘Razina Rosewater Jelly’ - for the distinguished gourmand looking to satisfy a sweet tooth. This food item doesn’t actually exist in-game. It’s one of the few that were conceptualized, but didn’t make it in Dishonored 2. It’s a shame, because it looks very pretty, and would be a sight for sore eyes after all those dirty cans of jellied eels and whale meat.

Dishonored has a surprisingly large amount of food lore. Which I’m very happy about. The player character can heal by vacuuming up the many foods left lying in the dirty streets, Amongst these foods include; loose fruit, canned seafood, roast rats, and bottles of various alcohols. Characters talk about regional cuisine, and express their feelings about various dishes.

But for my ‘video game cooking’ series, it’s this jarred jelly that caught my eye. Other items seemed pretty self-explanatory, like plain flatbreads and brined fish. Not only that, but all named foods are packaged in setting-appropriate cans and tins and bottles, which implores me to replicate the packaging as well as the food. Finding a plague-tinted can for jellied eels is harder than a simple mason jar for this rosewater jelly.

Thing is - the name ‘rosewater jelly’ is also self-explanatory. For those familiar with jelly recipes, all you need is gelatin and flavoring to make a jiggly desert. Rosewater is simply water seeped with rose petals in a particular process, creating a solution with an aromatic taste. Rosewater has a huge food presence throughout West Asian history. The current western world has only recently caught onto the rosewater trend.

So if I was particularly blasé, I’d tell you to get flavorless gelatin powder, a bottle of rosewater, and mix it all together with water and sugar and pink food coloring. Boom - rosewater jelly.

But we’re here to have fun, and that means making a complicated jelly desert within a vintage-packaged mason jar! So for flavoring, we’re getting our grocery store rosewater and flavorless gelatin. We’re also going to add special ingredients inspired by Dishonored’s setting.

Dunwall’s an obvious British Isles/Germany dupe, with its Gothic/Victorian/Art Nouveau clothing and architecture, and the name; “dun” being Old English. Serkonos (a neighboring country and the setting of Dishonored 2), on the other hand, is some weird amalgamate of south Europe (Italy, Greece, Portugal) and middle America (Cuba, the Caribbean).

(In Dishonored 1, the mission ‘Lady Boyle’s Last Party’ features a large dinner table, piled high with food. There’s a huge fish, a boar, and various cheeses, fruits, tarts, and giant jellies.)

Some foods within the games are specifically exported from select countries. There’s the Serkonan Blood Sausage, the Tyvian Potted Whale Meat, Morley Jellied Ox Tongue, and the Pratchett branded Jellies Eels that come from Gristol’s Dunwall itself. Characters talk about how Serkonan food is too spicy, Gristol’s food being gross, and Tyvian cuisine being ornate. We can get a general idea of what each foods are supposed to emulate.

It’s not said where Razina Rosewater Jelly originated. We have four regions to chose from (Gristol, Serkonos, Tyvia, and Morley), so we gotta narrow down the possibilities. Who would export rosewater-flavored jelly deserts in pretty jars?

I think Gristol is out. Their favorite foods include fish, meat pies, and beer, which screams United Kingdom and there’s no precedent for rosewater anything throughout Great Britain history. Tyvia gets closer, being a Russian approximate and boasting fancy wines. Morley has almost no in-game lore aside from being cold and full of tall blonde people, and Serkonos probably sits too far West for our Persian-based rosewater ingredient.

The name ‘Razina’ also doesn’t provide a solid answer. Googling results in sources from Lithuania, Croatia, and a girl’s name from the Urdu dialect of Hindi - Urdu being a dialect with strong Persian influences. Well, we knew that from the rosewater thing.

(Since the jar doesn’t come with a spoon, it might not be like a pudding cup that you, like, can eat on the go. Instead, its a food you buy then serve later - like fruit jam.)

So if no in-game region emulates a West Asian influence, then Tyvia is the closest we get for implied influence - Tyvia (probably) takes its inspiration from real-life Russia, so we can extend its reach down to Kazakhstan, Georgia, Turkey, and perhaps even Iran. All we know is; Tyvia’s art is ornate, they’re known for good food, and it’s a cold country. It fits.

Therefore, our grocery list is gonna be including ingredients from these real-life cultures, to make our Razina Rosewater Jelly.

Quick gelatin history; the squishy, translucent foodstuff can originate from many sources, such as kelp, meat, and bones. It’s hard to isolate the connective goop into any substantial amount of gelatin to craft into a dish, making it an ingredient mostly upon the tables of the privileged. Dishonored can be said to take place during an industrial revolution, sharing the real-life production history of Jell-O’s inception by using pressure cooking as a glue manufacturing byproduct. So we can claim that our Razina Rosewater Jelly is being mass-produced as a more affordable luxury.

Me being an overachieving geek, I first considered buying beef bones and boiling it down to gelatin myself, to really make this recipe authentic. But after some research, I decided it would be way too difficult - not only does it take several days of complicated pre-pressure-cooker pressure cooking, but it will taste meaty and gross and salty. Powdered gelatin it is.

For our other ingredients, we’re going to get; red food coloring, saffron, egg whites, vanilla, and vodka. Because we’re not just gonna make jelly in a jar, that’s boring. We’re making jelly mousse in a jar. That’s more fancy and exciting, and fitting of its decadence.

Our ingredients are; 1 cup of rosewater, 2 tablespoons powder gelatin, 2 tablespoons sugar, 1 egg white, a splash of vodka, and red food coloring. Along with some spices to emulate its fancy ~imported~ taste, such as saffron, vanilla, and perhaps agave nectar or mahlab.

To begin, you’ll mix together the rosewater and sugar with a small drop of red food coloring to make a pink, sugary solution. And this is also where I added a sprinkling of the spices and a drop of the vanilla. You can add more flavors to this base, such as blended fruit. The little hit of vodka is our fancy ‘Tyvian’ influence. I guess?

Then, to the watery mix you’ll add your gelatin and mix thoroughly.

Setting that aside, we’ll separate an egg to get our egg white. Taking a whisk, you’ll whip the egg whites until its completely frothy with stiff peaks. It’s not as hard as it sounds, and it’ll take you perhaps three minutes at most.

Finally, you’re going to add the watery mix to your frothy egg whites, mixing until the mixture becomes a soft mousse texture. It’s not gonna be a true mousse, its too watery for that. But the formula will have some thickness to it.

Pouring it into your jar, you’ll place that into the fridge to become a mousse jelly within one-three hours (depending on your serving sizes).

And that’s it! Once the jelly is set, you can pull out your jar and marvel at your Dishonored 2 desert. So delicious and sweet, it was too pure for the actual game.

#video game cooking #dishonored #dishonored 2

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elizabeth-karenina · 6 years

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I was tagged again!

This time by my other good, long-time friend @lorraineblack90! Thanks Lorraine! You’re the best. :)

SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO:

Name: Elizabeth

Nickname: Liz, Lizzie, Lizzie Loo (my boss’ nickname for me), Sis (my family name)

Gender: Cis Female

Orientation: Bisexual

Nationality: I am an American, from the state of Maryland.

Faith/Religion: Christian, the sense that I practice the religion in my own way. I’m more of a Christ-follower than anything; I don’t go to church very often, mostly because a lot of mainstream Christianity nowadays turns me off. But I am deeply spiritual and I love to study my religion, its origins and its teachings.

Hobbies: Reading, listening to music, going out on the weekends with my friends, online shopping (particularly Amazon), researching history, baking every now and then.

Pets: I have the best dog in the world, and his name is Ringo.

Favourite color: My most favorite color is blue (especially dark blue), but I am also partial to green, purple, and red as well.

Favourite holiday: The entire part of the year from Halloween to New Year’s. Somehow, mankind figured out that the only way to get through the last part of the year is to have one party after the other. From Halloween, to Thanksgiving, to Christmas, IT’S LIT!!!!!

Books: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, As Series of Unfortunate Events, The Chronicles of Narnia, Holes, The Outsiders, Tuck Everlasting, Treasure Island, Ivanhoe, Bridge to Terrabithia, The Royal Diaries/Dear America series, American Girl series, Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, Persuasion, Evelina, Jane Eyre, Murder on The Orient Express, Ella Enchanted, The Brothers Karamazov, Anna Karenina, To Kill A Mockingbird, Catherine Called Birdie, The Midwife’s Apprentice, Crispin and the Cross of Lead....the list is very long. AND BIOGRAPHIES. So many biographies and social histories, you wouldn’t even believe.

Movies: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, True Grit (2010), Holes, Jurassic Park, Back To the Future, Indiana Jones, Star Trek IV: The Long Journey Home, Mulan, Pocahontas, Atlantis: The Lost Empire, Lilo and Stitch, The Prince of Egypt, Tombstone, Sherlock Holmes 1 & 2, Murder On the Orient Express, War Horse, Wonder Woman (2017), Black Panther, Ghostbusters (both 1984 and 2016), The Godfather 1 & 2 (in that I’m fascinated by the family dynamic and not the lifestyle being portrayed), Coco, Sense and Sensibility (1995), Pride and Prejudice (2005), Little Women (1994), Lincoln, The King’s Speech, Belle (2013), The Joy Luck Club, The Mummy, Hairspray (2007), Grosse Pointe Blank, Friday (1995), The Birdcage, Pirates of the Caribbean, School of Rock, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Fiddler on the Roof, The Sound of Music, The King and I, The Quiet Man, Mary Poppins, Crazy Rich Asians....THE LIST COULD GO ON FOREVER.

TV shows: The Office, Parks and Recreation, Brooklyn 99, Stranger Things, Due South, Harlots, Turn, Outlander, Avatar: The Last Airbender, The Simpson’s, The Middle, Modern Family, Superstore. But I also love miniseries as well, such as Horatio Hornblower, Bleak House, John Adams HBO, War and Peace (2016), Band of Brothers, North and South (2004).

Music: Anything and everything. I have pop, R&B, musicals, hip-hop, rock music (mostly oldies tho), some country (I’m partial to older country, like Dolly Parton and Johnny Cash), Irish folk music, and a lot of classical music, too.

Coffee, tea or hot chocolate: COFFEE PLEASE.

Favourite meme: The one that goes “my wig’s been snatched,” LOL. I also miss the Breadsticks meme. And “I came out to have a good time and I’m feeling so attacked right now.”

I want to live enough to: Get into the historical field, especially in terms of research and historical consulting.

Weird obsession: Developing huge crushes on guys from the past. Yeah, I’m that person.

Random facts: I never learned how to ride a bike, nor did I learn how to skate on roller skates. I never actually read The Great Gatsby; I Sparknoted that shit in high school.

Goals for 2018: Start getting my freaking life together so I can continue being a successful person in 2019. Also...maybe I should start looking at schools so I can do online classes, so I can finish my Bachelor’s degree.

I’m not gonna do any tagging on this one, but if you see this and wanna do it, feel free to do so!

#Elizabeth responds to things

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emmakillianfan · 7 years

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Music of the Heart - Chapter 58 of 60

Chapter 58

Previous Chapters: FF.net and AO3

There was only one small window in the bedroom area of the boat where Killian and Emma were spending their honeymoon. A thin film had been placed over it by some previous owner to distort the light from being so intrusive and give a better illusion of privacy. With Emma curled against his side her long, bare leg thrown over him possessively, Killian stared at the porthole like window for a while and wondered how on earth he had managed to marry the one woman who was a perfect complement to him. Tilting his head just inches, he rubbed his stubble covered jaw against the silky tresses of her tangled hair and, letting his eyes fall shut to the sounds of her breathing melding with the choppy waves against the wooden planks of the boat and dock.

They had sailed south of Storybrooke, enjoying the small coastal town they had found on Saturday. While the amorous activities of their honeymoon had been exhaustingly plentiful, they had found time to stroll about the fishing town and peek in the shops before sipping wine and eating pasta at the quaint bistro that served as a perfect backdrop with checked table clothes and dripping candles. Emma had seemed so light and carefree as she scooted closer to him and twice admired her wedding and engagement ring in the low light as if she couldn’t believe they were really on her long elegant fingers.

His one regret was that she had requested something Asian for dinner. The line at the town’s one and only Thai restaurant was out the door with an estimated wait of nearly two hours. She had joked that she wasn’t that hungry for it and kissed him sweetly when he had suggested the alternative of Italian. Still, he felt as if he had failed by not providing her sincerest wish.

Carefully pulling his right arm out from under her, he grabbed his phone off the side table that was built into the wall. It was only 10:30 and not too late for wishes, he reasoned as he typed in the memorized name of the establishment and with his voice barely a whisper ordered a few of her favorite dishes. It would be way too much, and would garner protests. But he could see it in his mind’s eye that her protests would be matched with a smile as she dug into the treat. The biggest struggle was detangling himself from her without waking her before the food arrived. For a moment he feared he had failed as she fluttered her eyes and made a soft noise before burying her nose into his pillow. With the blankets piled on her, he searched in the dark for the thick cable sweater and jeans he had been wearing earlier. Finding a few of her garments strewn about as well, he placed them at the foot of the bed before climbing up to meet the delivery driver.

Knowing his wife, Killian waited patiently as the scent of the prawns, noodles, and veggies tickled his nose. He gulped at the ginger beer that he knew she loved and had been sure to order as well. When he had finished it and she had not appeared, he descended the ladder clumsily, the bag of food under his arm and making his descent even trickier. He managed to set the table before he heard her moan and the bed creak as she must have realized his absence.

“You better have a good excuse,” she said, emerging from the small room into the galley. She had ignored the clothes he had set out and wrapped herself in the soft green blanket that had been washed so many times that its still thick material felt of summer cotton rather than stiff wool. She tied it off at her chest and let the fabric flow as if she were wearing a gown for a ball, though her thick socks were not exactly matching the elegance. “You’re the one who talks about good form and all that. I don’t think it’s good form to leave your wife alone in bed on your honeymoon.”

Lifting the dish of pad thai, he lifted a single eyebrow as if he had just given a full explanation. Not surprisingly she grinned widely at the addition and dove for him. He had to juggle to place the dish down before she dislodged it with her embrace. “I wasn’t sure if you…”

“I never turn down Thai,” she said, rising up on her toes. “Or you for that matter. Best of both right here.” The tip of her nose traced along his jaw. “Have I told you I love you today?”

Pulling his head back, he smiled at her sweetly and tightened his arm around her waist. “A few times, my love, but I’m always apt to hearing it more often. Should we dine in here or…”

“Bed?” she asked with a grin. “Might be a little messy, but it’s comfy.”

“And you certainly are dressed for it,” he teased, kissing her soundly before handing her a plate. “Go before you freeze.”

She snagged a few of the ginger beer bottles and winked as she glided back to bed. By the time he arrived with the rest of the food, she was already settled among the blankets and sheets, balancing her plate on bent knees. Her long hair was pushed back over her shoulders and he was eyeing the largest prawn with a look of hunger and delight. “You are a wonderful husband for this, by the way. How did you know I still wanted this?”

Her mouth was full as she reached over to help him with the rest of the food so he could more easily get back in bed after shedding the sweater. “Your stomach may have growled a time or two, but I also know you.”

“I didn’t know you heard my stomach,” she said, pretending to hide behind her free hand with feigned embarrassment. It was an unnecessary gesture given her state of undress. “I tried to cover it up with a well-placed moan or two.”

He chuckled, inspecting his own food before answering. “You wound me. I may have to be insulted by that. I thought those moans were the direct result of my attention to you.” He lifted a particularly fat prawn and moved it toward his mouth before switching course and offering to her. She eagerly bit into it and let out a loud moan as her eyes rolled back.

“Definitely all your doing.”

***AAA***

David’s wife also had requested a late evening snack of sorts, but her request was for salt and vinegar potato chips that the hotel did not carry for room service. Donning a warm outfit he had thought would be in the suitcase until the next day, he headed out to the parking lot to warm his truck and scour the mountain town for a store that would still be open and carrying the item that she swore she didn’t need but couldn’t quit talking about either.

He had only been gone for a few minutes when she heard the soft and then loud knock at the door. Assuming it was him having forgotten his keys, Mary Margaret opened the door with a bemused expression and waited for his sheepish reply. Instead she got Ruby looking flushed and agitated with a bottle of wine cradled in her arms like a small child. “So I was at the bar,” she announced, waltzing in and ignoring the pregnant friend. “And guess who was there.” The tall beauty stooped toward the room’s mini bar and plundered for a moment. “Where the hell is your cork screw?”

Mary Margaret cradled her growing belly in her hands and stared incredulously at her friend. “I know you’re not asking me that. I’m pregnant. I can’t drink.” She paused waiting for Ruby to catch on. “Why would I need a cork screw?”

Ruby flung her chestnut curls over her shoulder indignantly. “I don’t know. Maybe David needed it.” She scrunched up her nose. “I’m a terrible friend who isn’t thinking.”

“You’re a great friend. And as for David, he’s more of a beer guy than wine. Why don’t you just tell me why you’re here?” Mary Margaret gestured toward the two chairs near the window. While Ruby and her grandmother had reserved a suite for the weekend, something where Henry could have his own room and Ruby didn’t have to be quite so careful about coming in late, Mary Margaret and David were in a standard room that boasted none of the finer luxuries. The teacher reminded them that she was planning on starting her own school, preparing for a baby, and saving for a house – none of which afforded them much room in the budget.

“Oh right, so I went to the bar because you remember that guy who was fighting with one of Tamara’s friends…well, so they broke up and I thought maybe he’d be interesting to talk to.” She rolled her eyes and placed the wine bottle she was carrying on the table between them. “I’m not planning to cheat on Graham. It was just going to be conversation. Except he was kind of gross. He had all this product in his hair and his sense of humor was bordering on harassment…anyway…”

“Ruby? Do I need to be here for this?”

“Tamara came in the bar with some guy.” Ruby waited for full realization to hit her friend as she tapped her tongue on the roof of her mouth impatiently “Seriously…as in Tamara. The bride…”

“Is she still the bride? Because they called off the wedding.” Mary Margaret considered this for a moment as her friend grew more agitated. “So wait…she’s got her boy toy here?”

Nodding with exaggerated slowness, Ruby smiled brightly. “Yup. His name is Greg. They’ve been dating for a while. Neal was the rebound and then she got back together with Greg. It’s all very 90210.”

It wasn’t the most polite thing to do to talk about a failed wedding attempt and relationship, but that’s what David found the two doing. He had to laugh at the childish way they sat in the oversized chairs, Ruby drinking wine thanks to the corkscrew he found and his wife noshing on chips and drinking sparkling water. He stayed for a bit and then excused himself to go and check on Henry. He and Granny took the boy to the hotel’s arcade (a small room with about four games), reassuring him that the failed wedding was not his fault at all.

***AAA***

Liam pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes and squinted toward the muted television that was broadcasting some infomercial about a vacuum that would pick up a bowling ball apparently. They had been watching a cooking competition earlier, something where the contestants were challenged with baskets of unrecognizable ingredients that made Elsa shudder in his arms and wrinkle her nose adorably. He wasn’t even sure who had won the last battle since he’d felt his eyes growing heavy about the second round of judging, promising only to shut them for a few moments during the commercial break.

“What are you doing?” he muttered. His hands flailed against the blanket she had placed over him. Not looking a bit tired, Elsa was curled up at the opposite end of the l-shaped sofa with her laptop perched on her bent legs and her long, white blonde hair, wrapped in a thick braid over her left shoulder. She was still wearing an oversized shirt boasting the name of a rock band he had seen a few years ago and knee high socks that on most would look decidedly unsexy.

“Going through the pictures,” she answered, turning the computer to face him. “I was thinking we could frame a few and place them around the house for Killian and Emma. Sort of a welcome home gift.”

“Not much of a honeymoon. That bastard father of mine seems to ruin everything, including his son’s own…” He stopped, noting the three lines that appeared between Elsa’s eyes as she stared at the computer again. “Sorry, darling. I know you don’t like my flying off the handle like that.”

“I’ve seen worse,” she answered, flipping to the next photo and tilting her head to study it. “I know you want to blame your father for everything, but did you realize that your brother is really very happy?” She turned the computer again and showed him the photo she’d just pulled up. It was a quiet moment before they were taking the “official” photos. Killian’s arms were wrapped around his bride’s waist, his chin tucked near her shoulder. He was clearly whispering something in Emma’s ear, her own expression filled with glee and humor as she tilted her head back and her mouth open in a laugh. A smile played at his lips and unlike Emma his eyes were wide and watching her with love and admiration that was unchecked.

“They deserve more than a few days on a leaky boat in late autumn. They should be in the Caribbean or Hawaii, a secluded place where they might get a real honeymoon without this blasted surgery looming over them.”

“And if they want that, they will get it. I think it’s romantic what they did. And to be honest, it is their style.” She closed the lid on the laptop to set it aside. “I know you like to be in charge. It’s that older sibling thing. I’m the same way. I am constantly telling Anna what to do and how to do it. But the truth is that she can take care of herself. And so can Killian.”

“Sometimes I have my doubts that he can do so properly.”

With the laptop set aside, Elsa scooted closer to her boyfriend. “You think it’s a bad idea for him to have the surgery.” It wasn’t a question. She knew he was struggling with it. While Killian had not announced his final decision, the writing was on the wall. The rushed wedding, shortened honeymoon, and a few other details screamed that he was putting his life in order for surgery and convalescence.

“Should anything happen to Killian in this, I won’t forgive Brennan. Ever.”

“I don’t know the man, but I doubt he would forgive himself.”

***AAA***

Emma climbed the ladder with an oversized mug of coffee in her left hand, a feat that she had nearly perfected on their occasional trips on the boat. Her favorite sweater, the one she wore when she wanted to feel warm and comfortable, was somewhere down below, the victim of an overly amorous husband who had very little use for keeping her clothing intact, she had learned. After half an hour of straightening up, she wasn’t quite sure where it had landed.

“We’re almost home, love,” he announced, not turning to face her as he adjusted the sail that he had said was always giving him trouble. Once he had tightened the knot and inspected his work, he felt her arms go around his waist and her chin dig into his shoulder. “You didn’t have to come up yet. I would have called to you when we were about to dock.”

“Do we have to go back?” she asked, sighing as he snagged the coffee from her and took a long sip before securely placing it back in her hand. “Because I’m not really feeling the whole going back to work tomorrow thing at all.”

“It was a rather short honeymoon,” he mused, his eyes drooping as if he might not be able to stay awake much longer. She loved that sight, him relaxing and their breathing matching in short little puffs. “Perhaps we should take another. Me, you, a beach somewhere warm, rum, you in a skimpy little bikini…”

“Drinks with little umbrellas, coconuts, you in swim trunks, I’m kind of digging the sound of this.” She hummed out what she thought was a tropical tune in his ear. It sounded more like the theme to Gilligan’s Island, which he would probably tease her about later. “But I do miss Henry.”

“Aye, the lad’s probably got quite the tale to share with us once we dock.” He turned to face her, pausing to let her warm herself with a healthy gulp of the hot coffee. “And there’s no rule that we must stop our private celebrations of our wedding.”

She grinned over the rim of the cup and took another long sip. “Good thing I’m drinking in the caffeinated stuff. I think you’re planning to keep me awake.”

“Honeymoons aren’t supposed to be relaxing.” He waggled his eyebrows for effect. “Besides, I can’t help that our accommodations were small and you are always irresistible, my love.” His eyes roamed over her, studying and committing to memory the way she swayed and the way she kept having to tuck back that same bit of hair behind her ear.

She bounced up onto the balls of her feet and kissed him soundly before digging one arm under his jacket. “Do you think it will be different? Being married I mean.”

“I rather think it will be similar but just about perfect. I can’t quite believe that you are my wife now.”

“Then I guess I’ll just have to keep reminding you.” She punctuated that thought with another brief but solid kiss. “I love you, Killian.”

“And I you.” Craning his neck back to better look at her, he frowned. “Where is your jacket, love? You’ll freeze out here in that.” That was one of his soft blue shirts, a pair of her own jeans, and a wool blanket over her shoulders from his supply closet.

“I missed you,” she said with a grin, tucking herself in closer to him as he made tsk noises and made room for her within his own jacket. “And I know you. You always try to take care of me.”

“I seem to recall you arguing with that idea and wanting to take care of yourself,” he reminded her. “Is that now negotiable?”

“Case by case basis.” She dug her fingers into the flannel of his shirt, softly worn and washed to the point that it almost felt like velvet. “If I’m going to rely on someone to take care of me sometimes, it’s definitely you. So I know we said no practical talk on our honeymoon, but have you…”

“Emma…” His voice came out as a warning, a note that he was not ready to discuss more than frivolous little things over glasses of wine and between long, lazy kisses. He knew what she was asking though, as the unpenned deadline of his decision loomed boldly in front of him. She wanted to know if he would be going ahead with the surgery, risking his own life for that of his father. She had a right to know. “I…”

“You don’t have to actually say the words,” Emma said, trying a technique that had worked on Henry before when she wanted him to admit something. “You can just answer if you are keeping your appointment with the doctor?”

He huffed, his eyes studying her upturned faced. “I know you are worried, Emma. I am too. But I feel that I must do this. I must offer him this chance.”

She nodded almost imperceptibly. “You’re a good man. You know that, right?”

“I’ll remind you that you said that when you complain about my cold feet in bed or my grumpiness over some football friendly that didn’t end as I thought it would.” His smile was a bit weak, but he looked almost as if he was confident in his decision.

“I’ll let all those things go without me complaining too much if you promise me you’ll be careful. I want my husband back as soon as possible. Got to admit I’m not a big fan of the idea of you in the hospital.” She shimmied her shoulders a bit as she snuggled even closer. “Just so you’re aware, I plan to spoil you while I nurse you back to health. You’re getting the best food that Granny’s has to offer and then some. I’ll tuck you in bed. I can even manage a few massages when you’re getting stir crazy.”

“I don’t think I’ll object to any of that, love. I enjoy our time together even if we are doing nothing more than this.” His head came to rest atop hers before he slid his lips to her temple, cheek, tip of her nose, chin, and then mouth. The sound of the brisk breeze snapping the sails and water lapping against the sides of the boat echoed within her soft sigh as she returned the kiss.

***AAA***

The next morning Elsa stirred her tea and flipped her white blonde hair back over her shoulder so that it fell down her back. It was still early yet, the faint traces of light barely breaking through the clouds that hung low over the trees near their condo. Taking one sip and then adding a bit of honey to her mixture, Elsa watched as Liam seemed to pace as he fumbled with the rust colored tie that hung limply around the white collar of his shirt.

“You’re nervous,” she surmised, barely recognizing the reaction from the man she loved. She waved him over with her left hand, the right still holding her mug. “Come here, let me do it.”

He yanked on the silky material and wadded it in his hand. “I bloody don’t want to do this.”

Clicking her tongue atop her mouth, she raised off the stool she had been perched on and rescued his tie from wrinkling. “Liam, this is important. You know that. Your brother…”

“Killian, that’s who my brother is, not that sniveling little…” He stopped as she placed a finger over his mouth. His pursed lips brushed the pad of it as he waited for her to correct him as he knew she would.

“He’s your half-brother and we have to deal with this. We can’t pretend he doesn’t exist. It’s not fair to you, to me, to him, or to Emma and Killian who are basically stuck in the middle of all this.”

He was still grousing as she looped the tie around his neck and expertly completed the knot before smoothing her hand over it. In a single move he caught her hand and brought it back to his lips where he placed a series of kisses. “I’m doing this for you, darling, so that you might feel safe again.”

She frowned, which seemed to confuse him. “Do it for you,” she said softly. “I don’t want to be the reason you cut someone out of your life or walk away from family you have said yourself you wish you had more of on more than one occasion. He’s barely an adult. He could lose his father. And as wrong as it is, as much as it isn’t anyone’s fault, he blames you for not wanting to help. You can understand that.”

“He tried to kill you,” Liam reminded her, the color darkening on his face. “And would have succeeded…”

“He didn’t succeed.”

“Thank all that is holy,” Liam muttered, turning about 45 degrees and then back again to quickly kiss her, stealing away the gasp of surprise at his speed. “If that little prat so much as looks at you wrong today, I’ll be buggered if I let him receive only a slap on the wrist.”

She accepted his somewhat of a compromise and admired his backside view as he walked away to find his suit jacket that she had laid out for him. He was being as brave as he could be, she supposed, recognizing the anger as part of that. Returning to her stool and testing to see if the temperature of the tea was still right, she took a long draw of it before calling out to him. “I didn’t want to disturb Emma last night, but are they coming to the hearing today? I can’t believe they only got a weekend honeymoon.”

“No,” Liam answered, popping his neck and then waving his arms about as if trying to decide if the jacket he had just worn on Friday still fit. “Killian’s going to be doing his tests at the hospital today. Emma was planning to work unless you need her there?”

Elsa shook her head and touched her fingers to the pearl earring dotting her lobe. “I was just curious. So your brother is definitely…”

“Aye, the wanker is going to actually give part of his body over to that father of ours. Can’t say I’m surprised or happy, but I understand. Or at least I’m trying.”

***AAA***

The honeymoon was sweet, romantic, and way too short, or so Emma said to the eighth person who asked her about it when she returned to work that Monday and awaited Killian’s call from the hospital. They had sailed down the coast a bit and anchored in a quaint little town where they feasted on seafood, took quiet walks while bundled up in coats, and drank wine as they talked about nothing and everything all at once. She left out some of the more intimate details, not wanting to taint her own memories of them with enthusiastic questions, whistles, and knowing looks. Killian actually helped with that, having breakfast from Granny’s delivered, an overabundant array that she shared with a few of her co-workers. It reminded her distinctly of their early dating days.

The one discussion she was still keeping to herself was Killian’s decision to go ahead with the surgery. He’d looked at her with a sadness and resignation that seemed to ask if she would try to talk him out of it. She hadn’t. It was his decision, which she intended to support despite her own fears about the outcome. And if things didn’t go well, she didn’t want her memories to be infected with selfish pleas for him to reconsider. She was proud of him, knowing that he was doing this with no guarantees or promises that he would have a relationship with his father. He was doing it because he was a good man who knew that he would hate himself if he hadn’t at least tried.

“Is Henry doing well?” Regina asked before sending her off to find out about the latest request for Elsa to perform. While the question might have been out of place by most bosses, Regina had been at Neal and Tamara’s mess of a wedding attempt that had ended with a screaming match over the revelation that Tamara had been seeing another man not all that discretely. “He seemed fine with your friends dragging him out of the ceremony.”

“He is fine,” Emma offered, cradling a few files in her arms against her chest. Knowing that Killian was facing surgery this week, she was in a hurry to get as much done as possible before taking another stretch of time off. “Mary Margaret said he was more concerned over his father having to return all the gifts and how they would ship some of them back.”

“Practical child,” Regina said. “He’s very good with Roland and seems to be a wonderful... I just wanted to make sure…”

“Thanks. But like I said, he’s fine and anxious to be back at school with all his friends,” Emma said, ducking out into the hallway and back to her office before it got even more awkward. Regina was her boss, not a friend. And it was strange to try to be chatty with a woman who was known to have outbursts of anger about things that Emma felt were a professional courtesy. Yes, she’d been at Emma’s wedding but other than a quick congratulations they had hardly talked.

Besides Henry was doing well. He had taken the broken engagement of his father in stride and even expressed condolences to the man before Mary Margaret and David hurried him back to Storybrooke with promises of a movie marathon and binging on all his favorites. Granny and Ruby said they both bit their tongues over the entire scandal, but Henry had not seemed any worse for it. They hadn’t even called Emma until she and Killian returned late Sunday evening. So she had not had the opportunity yet to have called Neal herself, but knew that his father, stepmother, and others were rallying around him after the betrayal. Her sympathies might come off a bit false given her own recent wedding and current state of bliss, but she would eventually say something.

“Ms. Swan…I mean Mrs. Jones, you have a call on line three,” the receptionist’s voice came through the intercom. Emma had not even thought about the whole name thing very much. Most people called her by her first name anyway. Keeping her eyes on the screen where her notes about a contract proposal were sitting, Emma fumbled for the phone and lifted it to her ear.

“Are you having as frightful of a time concentrating today as I am?” Killian asked after she said hello. “It’s bloody torture because all I can think of is my lovely wife and how much I would rather be with her.”

She fell back against her seat and smiled widely picturing him talking low into his phone in some quiet corridor. He’d been wearing a blue sweater that morning, the richness almost as alluring as his eyes. “I’m lucky I don’t have that problem,” she said saucily. “Maybe you should call your wife on her cell instead. Don’t you know it’s a bad idea to breathe heavy on a work line.”

He chuckled, even the through the phone filling her with warmth. “Would that I could, my love. But my lovely wife was so distracted giving me another one last kiss this morning that she left the phone on the counter in the kitchen. So I am holding it close to my heart right now.”

She stared at her coat that she had slung across the guest chair in her office earlier that morning. The tell-tale sign of her phone was absent from its pocket. “Damn it,” she muttered. “I need that phone.”

“Aye, I’ll bring it by for you in a bit. Perhaps we could share a little lunch while we were at it.”

She knew that would be a bad idea for her motivation and her self-control, yet the idea was tempting. She told him as much. “Maybe some place public so that I don’t do anything too distracting.”

“Sounds like a plan, as I’m not sure I’m a strong enough man to resist your charms for too long anyway.” The sounds of the intercom and people talking could be heard around him, as well as dinging elevator.

“How’s your father?” Emma asked, knowing that he was not going to be as carefree and soft with his answer. “Did he get transferred…”

“He’s in a private room here at the hospital,” Killian explained. Once he had agreed to have the surgery everything seemed to be moving rather quickly. So far the teacher had been poked and prodded within an inch of his life as his father went through similar tests in another room. They had only seen each other for a few moments, which Killian preferred. The younger Liam was expected that afternoon.

“Any word on…”

“Should know more this afternoon. They wanted to test my blood again, see about my records from how fast or slow I healed after losing my hand, and even had me hooked up to a heart rate machine. Thankfully it did not shock or electrocute me.” He didn’t tell her that he was still wearing a hospital gown with his jeans underneath it because they wanted to do another scan. He didn’t tell her how the paperwork had seemed scarier than before and his hand shook as he signed it.

“Well, swipe a pair of scrubs. Those could come in handy later. And get your cute butt over here.” She laughed at the idea of making him blush.

“Bored with our sex life already, love?” She could hear the struggle for levity in his voice, but chose to pretend the tension wasn’t there.

“Never, but we could always have a little fun. And…” She grimaced as Regina appeared in her office doorway. “I have to go.” Her hasty goodbye included a not so graceful return of the phone to its base that almost knocked over her coffee.

“Didn’t mean to disturb,” Regina said, sauntering in and dropping to the chair that didn’t contain Emma’s jacket. “I wanted to see if you had considered the offer for Elsa to resume the tour in the new year? If she’s up for it, I think we need to get as much play out of that now. So if you could…” Regina paused, crossing her legs. “I suppose you won’t have time to talk to our communications staff about a campaign that might entice Grammy voters.”

“Regina, I may not plan to be in the office, but I’ll be in contact. I can…”

The dark haired woman held up a hand. “I’m not asking about that. I simply think that perhaps we need to think about what’s best for the company, the artists. If you’re not 100%, then there are too many problems that could happen. Have you even spoken to Anna about her return? Elsa is talented, but the two of them together are the act that I signed.”

“Are you saying I’m not focused and dedicated? Elsa’s career has been a huge focus in my life. I have done everything to make her successful and comfortable while Anna focuses on her pregnancy. She’s getting good reviews and press. Those download cards we distributed recently have been successful. Her album sales are phenomenal. I know you don’t pay much attention to the trades, but there’s already buzz about award nominations. All of this while she was being stalked and we had to double and triple efforts to keep her safe.”

“You do represent other clients, you know,” Regina reminded her, as if she needed the prodding. “I was simply thinking that you might consider transferring responsibility to some of the other associates…ones who didn’t just get married or have pending obligations.” Standing abruptly, Regina walked toward the door. “Just something to consider.”

Emma frowned, looking at the sheet of paper that her boss had left behind. It was a one page plan to relieve Emma of many of the clients she was currently representing. She had found or discovered most of them, bringing them up from bar acts to sometimes international sensations and artistic giants with great reputations in the industry. It had taken years to build this portfolio of talent. Giving them up would be career suicide. Yet it made sense too. She was about to have a husband recuperating from surgery. They were talking about adoption to expand their family. And while she should be offended that only a woman would be asked to make such a sacrifice, she knew it was not out of the realm of reason to question her right now.

She stuffed the paper in her bag and tried not to think about Killian’s recent suggestion that she consider going out on her own as a producer. She did love that part of her job and wanted to see herself doing more of it. But now did not seem the time to put forth that effort. She didn’t want Killian to worry about her while he faced surgery and a new venture of his own.

Not wanting to consider it any longer, she shot Killian an email to his phone telling him she loved him and wishing him luck on the tests. She also suggested meeting him at the coffee shop near the hospital for lunch, as it would be quicker than Granny’s and less intrusive.

***AAA***

Killian stared at the ceiling tiles, counting them and then considering how the school facility he and Mary Margaret had found had similar colors on its ceiling. They were probably uniform and typical for the age of the building, he assumed, squinting his eyes and pretending that the sounds of the heart monitor and other machines were perfectly normal.

“You’re looking far too relaxed to be a patient, brother,” Liam announced, pulling back the curtain without even pretending to worry about the need for privacy. “I’d say you look like a bloke just back from his honeymoon.”

“And you look as though you’re a wanker who escaped from the court hearing unscathed,” Killian said, lifting up on his elbows to acknowledge the appearance of the elder Jones sibling. He’d already been told about the outcome earlier by phone. “Lost your tie did you?”

Liam rolled his eyes and dropped into the chair at the side of the hospital bed. “Tore that bloody thing off the moment I escaped. I believe it may be somewhere on Lakeshore Drive. Twice in a few days is far too often for me.” He leaned forward and took a look at the rolling cart of equipment, part of which was attached to Killian. “This all looks quite serious.”

Grinning, Killian leaned back against the nearly flat pillow. “I haven’t a clue what they are looking for, but they are determined to put me on every bloody machine in this place. And they don’t tell me anything about results. The nurse keeps making noises and saying things are interesting.”

Crossing his legs so that one ankle rested on the opposite knee, Liam inspected his fingernails for a moment. “You’re sure about doing this? You know you don’t own that man anything even remotely this important?”

“Liam, I have already explained why…”

“Aye, and it still sounds like bollocks to me. He abandoned us. Left us as though we were barely more than strangers. He moved on with that wife of his and had another son…”

“It still doesn’t change the fact that he was and is the only father we have ever known. Our mum loved him for better or for worse.” Killian swallowed, his head lolling back as he stared again at the water stained tiles that were blurry with his eyes tearing up. He blinked rapidly to stave them off. “He may not have been the best husband to her or father to us, but there must be something about him that won her heart. And perhaps she would…I think she would want me to offer this if there was even a chance of him recovering. We both were hurt by him, but he cannot fix what he did or even properly apologize if he isn’t given this chance.”

For a moment Killian wondered if his older brother planned to simply stand up and leave. He dropped his foot back to the floor and surged forward in the chair as if he was about to stand. But then he leaned backward and folded then unfolded his arms from his chest. “So how is married life treating you, brother? Has she sent you to sleep on the sofa yet?”

***AAA***

Emma wasn’t exactly a fan of hospitals, but as Ruby had told her during Granny’s stay – nobody really was. Since Killian had missed their lunch because tests were running longer than he had anticipated, she had hurried through her afternoon and driven over to see him as soon as she could see the surface of her desk through all the paperwork. When she walked briskly through the first floor waiting room toward the nurses’ desk, she was surprised to see Elsa sitting there thumbing through an old magazine that looked like it might have been there since the building was first constructed.

“Did Killian kick you out?” Emma asked, stopping in front of her friend. “Is he being that bad of a patient already?”

The blonde smiled up at her, eagerly tossing aside the outdated periodical. “I was giving him some time with Liam. I thought they could both use it.”

“Court go okay?” Emma asked, taking a seat across the narrow aisle. “I’m sorry we couldn’t…”

“The judge didn’t really take much time on it. Liam – my Liam – has to do a six week anger management course and 16 hours of community service for the fight. The other Liam has more community service and some other legal stuff…They both pleaded guilty and Graham said they both showed remorse for their actions. So I guess we’re good…”

Emma nodded, frowning as her friend shrugged. She wasn’t sure what she could say. There was so much to process and so many ways to approach it. “Are you okay with that? What he did was pretty scary with the stalking and the driving you off the road.”

“You sound like Liam. He wanted me to ask for more punishment. I wasn’t really prepared for this today. I thought it would just be a quick arraignment like on television. I didn’t expect things to be settled today.” She let her hands skim over the soft material of her pencil skirt. “I hate this. All of this. Why couldn’t he have just confronted his brothers? Why did he have to…Why did he have to try and hurt us?”

Emma braced her hands on her knees. “I wish I could answer that. Killian, Liam, and Liam seem to have the absolute worst timing with this stuff. I mean who the hell goes from wedding to honeymoon to organ donor? And I love him. I wouldn’t expect anything else from him but to be the kind, generous, and giving man that he is. And as for your Liam, you know he’s got that big brother complex thing. He wants to protect everyone, Killian, but most especially you. I think he probably looks at this as his fault for not having dealt with his brother from the start, letting it get to the point that you were in danger.”

The vibration of Elsa’s phone called her back from the nearly tearful memory of how scared she had been and frustrated. “It’s Anna. She had another ultrasound today. I’m sure she wants to share the pics and the news.”

“Yeah,” Emma answered thoughtfully. “I should get back there to my husband.” She scrunched up her nose and squinted. “That’s going to take some getting used to, you know.”

“I can’t even imagine. For what it’s worth, I think Killian’s being really selfless about this. It’s really impressive.”

“You’re impressive too,” Emma said, covering one of Elsa’s hands with her own and squeezing. “And just a quick question about work. You don’t feel like I’ve been neglecting you, do you? I know I’ve been busy with Henry, the wedding, and everything, but…”

“No, you’ve been awesome. That gig on Thanksgiving worked out great. I’ve already heard from your publicity department that there are some more interviews that they want me to do before the ballots go out for award season. They seem to think I have a shot at something.”

“And Liam? It’s been kind of slow go for the band. I probably could have concentrated on getting them more exposure.” She bit her lip, trying not to think about Regina’s statements. “I still could. I know this one booking guy in New Jersey who might be interested.”

Tilting her head to one side, Elsa studied her friend for a moment. “You are asking some odd questions, Emma. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Great,” Emma said, squeezing Elsa’s hand again. “I promise. Now I’m going to go see my husband. And I’ll send that boyfriend of yours out to you.”

***AAA***

Henry slid his shoe covered feet off the coffee table seconds before Emma and Killian walked through the door. Dropping his math book onto the floor next to where Sparrow was happily noshing on a new chew toy that Killian had found in a small shop, Henry smiled brightly at his mother and stepfather, opening his arms for a quick embrace and then collapsing back down onto the cushions. Killian escaped back toward the bedroom, declaring that he wanted to wash the stench of the hospital off of him and giving mother and son a moment alone.

“Didn’t your dad feed you?” Emma asked when his first question was about what was for dinner. “I thought you were meeting him after school.” She didn’t mention that she was a bit upset that her ex dropped their son off rather than waited with him for someone to be home. That’s a touchy subject and not at all Henry’s fault for being at that age where she is not sure about the lines or privilege and responsibility. She would have to talk to Neal later about that whole thing.

“We ended up going to the library and talking to Belle for a while. Dad’s not eating much so I guess he didn’t think I might be hungry.” Henry shrugged, quickly removing his feet from their position again when they hit the table quite by habit. “So can we order in?”

Emma ducked her head into the refrigerator and lifted a few items for closer inspection. She placed a thumb and index finger on her nose and pursed her lips. “I think so, kid,” she agreed, pointing toward the basket atop the refrigerator. “You pick. I’m going to go check on Killian.”

The water from the shower was running as he had said it would be when Emma yanked off her boots and peeled out of a layer of clothing to replace it with an oversized sweatshirt and leggings. Padding into the steam filled bath, she used her sleeve to wipe at the mirror before turning on the exhaust fan. She called out over the water to her husband that she thought Henry would choose Chinese as their dinner. It would likely not be as good as the Asian meal they had already shared on the boat, but she wasn’t going to argue.

“Any special requests?”

His answer was to surprise her, which she could have taken as passive aggression, but she didn’t. She knew he was thinking more about what was ahead and less about what meal they would have. “I was thinking to meet with the loan officer in the morning,” he said over the sound of the shower. “I need to settle a few things about the school loan before the surgery.”

“Should I come with?” Emma asked, reaching into the pocket of the sweatshirt for her now returned phone to check her schedule. “I have a 9 a.m., but if we do 8 then...”

Sliding open the glass door of the shower, he poked his head out. The water logged black hair was sticking to his scalp and forehead and his skin was pinkish red from the heat of the water. “You are still thinking this is a good idea?”

She surged forward to kiss him before she answered, smiling against his mouth in her most hopeful way. “I really hate that I need to ask which idea we’re talking about here. If it is the surgery, yes, I think it is a good idea. The loan to get the school going with Mary Margaret? Yes, also a good idea. You’re a great teacher and the plan is solid, right? So I say go for it. Any other ideas we’re batting around? Because I’m feeling very supportive tonight.”

He grinned and ducked back into the shower. “It just seems to me that we are rushing things along a little fast.”

“Says the man who helped me plan a wedding that got re-planned in 48 hours,” Emma teased, leaning her hip against the counter. “Seriously though. Enough with the lack of decisions.”

He was silent for a moment and with a flick of his good wrist turned off the shower. Stepping out of the shower, he grabbed the towel off the rack and smiled wickedly at her as he patted himself dry. “I was negligent upon our return today. I didn’t carry you over the threshold.”

She shook her head in disbelief at the way he was staring up at her with the most mischievous look ever as he hunched over in his task of drying off. “You did that last night, remember. And you carried me onto the boat twice. I’m thinking we have gotten that tradition out of our system.”

“Are you saying you don’t enjoy it? Me holding you close in my arms? Carrying you toward our bed?” His voice dropped about two octaves and his eyes were dark as she tried to playfully kick her leg out at him only for him to catch her foot. “I think you might just like it too much.”

“I think marriage has made you cockier than usual,” she said, pulling her leg back and hopping down from the counter. “I’m going to go help Henry before he orders more than dinner with my credit card. Tell me when you figure out when we need to go to the bank?” She stopped still inside the doorway and spun back toward him. “I love you. I know, awkward moment, but it kind of needs to be said.”

His skin was still warm from the shower and he smelled of the body wash she was always telling him was hers from years before. Moving his lips softly over hers and holding the towel just barely knotted on his waist, he smiled against her mouth. “I love you too.”

***AAA***

Elsa leaned over and looked again at the screen where her sister was pointing out another item for the baby registry. All of the names, colors, and decorations seemed silly beyond measure. It was a high chair. Why did it need to be called Mr. Bumble Bee’s Nutrition Station for Babies? It was a freaking high chair.

“I think it’s cute,” the younger sister said, jotting it down on her affirmative list. So far she had three pads of paper and her tablet in front of her. One list was for yes. One was for no. And one was for maybe. Nothing was on the no list yet. “And the color is cute.”

Elsa tilted her head as she studied the extra full padding, the matching dish set, and the adjustable back rest. “Aren’t they supposed to be more functional than cute?” she asked. “I’m all for fashion, but this…”

“Is about what I want,” her sister reminded her. Anna patted her protruding belly. “Growing a human here, remember?”

Throwing up both hands, Elsa leaned back against the sofa. “Mr. Bumble Bee it is then.”

Anna gave a triumphant nod and scrolled to the next item. “So I like the idea of going neutral on the nursery, but I don’t want it to be too bland. What do you think of orange?”

Diplomatically, Elsa avoided making a face. “What does Kristoff think of orange?” she asked, plucking one of the cookies from the package. She nibbled on it daintily, as if the smaller bites would somehow reduce the number of calories.

“He said it looks like how he imagines a pumpkin latte factory would look. But I don’t think they make pumpkin spice lattes in a factory, do they? They are like fresh or something? I mean, not fresh exactly since they are made with spices that are jarred and stuff, but still not a factory…”

“Maybe we should look for something like green or yellow, something soothing and that you and Kristoff can both agree on.”

Anna scrolled past a few more items before turning her head to the side and studying her sister nibbling on the rest of the cookie. “Does this bother you?” she asked suddenly. When Elsa didn’t answer right away, Anna gestured toward her stomach again. “This. The baby, marriage, basically domestic bliss. Does it bother you?”

Elsa dabbed at the corner of her mouth for nonexistent crumbs with her finger. “Why would it?” she asked, her eyes wide and curious. “I’m happy for you. I’m happy to be an auntie.”

“And you’re happy living with Liam when all your friends are married and more settled?” Anna queried softly. “I know you love Liam, but you two…You’ve been dating as long as Emma and Killian.”

Elsa dropped her hand to her lap, frowning. “It’s not a contest or even fair to start comparing. And I don’t know that I’ve ever really equated happiness with being married. It’s nice and all, but it doesn’t really have to mean that the only measure for a successful relationship is a ring and a cake.”

Turning her attention seemingly back to the screen, Anna scrolled past two carriers and wrote one down on the maybe list before she asked again. “Do you not want to get married and have children?”

Elsa shrugged her shoulders. “I didn’t say no to the idea. I just don’t see the need to push for more when I’m happy with Liam and our life together now. Is there a rule that says we all have to be married and having babies? Can you honestly say that you see that for me?”

***AAA***

The house was quiet as Emma slid out from the bed she shared with Killian and padded into the living room with her laptop and phone cradled in her arms. Not bothering with a light, Emma studied the websites for a few of the bands she was representing, making notes about needs for improvements and about potential angles for promotion. She was on her seventh one when Killian appeared in the doorway.

“Not sure how I feel about my wife of only a few days sneaking out of bed. Isn’t it proper for us to not want to leave it for a few weeks at least?” He’d put on a pair of sleep pants and a Henley that was misshapen from years of washing. Still he looked adorable as he leaned over her to give her a kiss and then fell dramatically against the couch next to her. “Something wrong?”

“Just work stuff,” she said, the glow of the screen illuminating her face and the messy top knot of her hair. “Regina’s sort of on my case.”

With his hand extended, he lifted her computer off of her knees and balanced it on the table before opening his arms up to indicate she should find comfort there. It only took a moment before she was laid out half on top of him as he reclined in the corner of the couch. “Want to talk about it?”

“Nope,” she said with some finality. “I don’t.”

“Then we shan’t. Perhaps we should talk about other things.” She was rubbing her cheek against his chest and her hand was playing with the frayed edge of his shirt near his waist. “Any suggestions?”

“Nope,” she repeated, earning a chuckle that vibrated against her ear. “I think we talk too much for this to still be our honeymoon.”

#cs ff #captain swan #frozen jewel fanfiction #ouat fanfiction #captain swan fanfiction

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smartwebhostingblog · 6 years

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Apple Silly Season Is Upon Us

New Post has been published on https://rwamztech.com/apple-silly-season-is-upon-us/

Apple Silly Season Is Upon Us

Silly Season Is Upon Us

That feeling when graffiti makes more sense than floor traders. By cogdogblog – Good Advice, CC0, Bring a towel, too. (2535543334).jpg

Apple (AAPL) is always subject to Silly Season in their Q1 (Christmas quarter). Q4 has 1-3 weeks of new iPhone sales, but the motherlode is Q1, so speculation is rampant. Apple is the most secretive company in the world, which allows the speculation to shape-shift into fact.

Apple is also the most written-about company in the world, and the best way to get clicks in the tech press is claim-chowder headlines about Apple’s days being numbered. One day, they will be right. But this past decade, how many times have they been wrong? Answer: many. Here’s a fun example from April of this year, long after everyone should have known better:

The iPhone X, Apple’s new flagship phone and heir apparent to the universal design of a smartphone, only accounted for 16% of the company’s smartphone sales so far in 2018, according to estimates from analyst Consumer Intelligence Research Partners. The share of all new iPhones sold in the first quarter of 2018 has slid to 60%, down from 78% in 2015, the report stated. The new models include the iPhone X and the iPhone 8 and 8 Plus—meaning the old versions of iPhone are selling almost as well as their updated counterparts.

Apple’s introduction of the iPhone X, and its elevated $1,000 price, indicated Apple had confidence that people would be willing spend more than ever on a new phone to get cutting-edge technology—but a 11-point slide year over year in sales might indicate that confidence is misplaced…

We’ll know soon enough what the quarter looked like for Apple, as the company reports its earnings May 1.

How’d that work out?

AAPL Revenue (Quarterly YoY Growth) data by YCharts

Oh, right. I wonder if Dave ever wrote a headline, “Boy, Was I Wrong About the iPhone X!”

This year, Silly Season is even bigger. If this past week wasn’t The Bear and The Bull engaged in thermonuclear war, I don’t know what was. The Animal Spirits are out. The headlines are flying fast and furious. Analysts are downgrading Apple left and right, focused on iPhone units instead of profit for some reason. Anytime someone reminds me that the iPhone has a small market share, I try and remind them they also take about 80% of ALL smartphone profits every quarter.

Anyway, not to pick on Peter Cohan specifically, but there’s been a lot of this:

Apple has been producing new iPhone versions and raising its prices on them. But its high price is not holding for the latest version, the iPhone X, so as Bloomberg reported, Apple is offering customers a 40 percent discount.

How so? On December 2, Apple added a new banner to the top of its website advertising the iPhone XR for $449, $300 less than its official sticker price. The deal, noted with an asterisk and described at the bottom of the page, requires customers to trade in an iPhone 7 Plus, a high-end handset from two years ago.

O how mighty Apple has fallen!

To put it in perspective, the plunge in the iPhone gross margin has been precipitous. As I mentioned, In 2012, the iPhone had a 71 percent gross margin. Before the 40 percent discount, the iPhone X had a much lower gross margin of 48 percent — its price was $749 and the cost of the parts was $390, according to IHS Markit.

By discounting the price to $449, the iPhone gross margin drops to 13 percent.

Bonus points for “O how mighty Apple has fallen!”

He is correct that Steve Jobs loved high gross margins so much that his wife was probably jealous of their relationship. But, unfortunately, arithmetic and common sense are Cohan’s nemeses here.

So What’s Wrong Here?

The first thing is plain common sense. Cohan and others weirdly assume that Apple is going to just chuck these trade-ins into the trash and call it a day. Does that sound like Apple to you? Does that sound like something any company would do? Of course, Apple refurbishes them, and sells them in its online store.

Secondly, as I will show below, Apple is most most likely increasing profits here, not decreasing them.

The Apple Trade-In Program

You wouldn’t know it from these articles, but Apple has had a trade-in program for years now. Two things have changed:

They raised the trade-in value for December. More so on the older phones.

They promoted the heck out of it for Christmas.

Here are the changes in trade-in value:

Device

Old Credit

New Credit

Change

iPhone 6

$75

$150

100%

iPhone 6 Plus

$100

$200

100%

iPhone 6s

$100

$200

100%

iPhone 6s Plus

$150

$250

67%

iPhone 7

$175

$250

43%

iPhone 7 Plus

$250

$300

20%

iPhone 8

$275

$300

So I believe two things are going on here. Apple sees that the upgrade cycle is lengthening, and badly wants to get those people with very old phones into a new one. The extra credit only applies if you are buying a 2018-year phone (Apple also sells new previous year phones as a budget option). As we have learned many times in the past, this does not necessarily mean iPhone units are down, though I suspect they are anyway.

To me, the only units that matter are US dollars, to paraphrase Johnny Rotten.

Source: AZQutoes

The second thing I think is going on has to do with the iPhone 7 Plus, which I believe to be Apple’s focus here. This is pure speculation, so take it with a grain of salt, but in analyzing how they’ve set up the promotion, it just looks like to me that, while they’re taking all comers, they are particularly interested in that model. Apple is deliberate about every single detail of everything, and it can’t be an accident. Why?

First, let’s look at the economics of this transaction.

The Only Units

US dollars! Aren’t they the best? Completely fungible global reserve currency, and the easiest way to keep score. How odd it is that analysts insist on using phone units to keep score when dollars are just sitting right there.

Someone buys an iPhone XR for $449 plus an iPhone 7 Plus in “good” condition. There’s a lot of wiggle room between those two quotation marks, but Apple’s definition of “good” is “anything where the refurb cost is low enough that we can still make an acceptable profit.”

I looked on eBay to get a sense of where the market for used iPhone 7 Pluses stood as of today. I cataloged the last 100 completed transactions that fulfilled the following qualifications:

32GB

Described as good or better. Minor scratches and dings OK.

All components in good working order

No third-party screen replacement or any other third-party major component replacement.

Unlocked in all ways

No accessories required, just the phone

Also, there were a couple that were suspect, like the one that sold for $1100 to someone 10 miles away from the seller (LOL, money-laundering), so I omitted those.

I think this comes pretty close to what Apple is looking for. The last 100 phones sold in this category averaged in price $347.54.1 Apple could just turn around these phones that they are purchasing for $300, and make a 13.7% profit on them the same day. And remember, that’s the least expensive of the iPhone 7 Pluses. The 128GB and 256GB versions fetch about $60 and $120 more on eBay, respectively. Apple pays $300 regardless.

But they don’t sell them on eBay, of course. They send it back to Hon Hai, where they are rubbed and scrubbed and sold in the Apple refurb store, for $479, $569 and $649, depending on storage. Remember, that $649 version still cost Apple only $300. Let’s be super-conservative and say the average sale price is $500 because of heavy mix towards the 32GB phone. That means Apple’s profit here is $200 minus the cost of refurb.

Here’s the tricky part, because Apple is the most secretive company in the world, it’s impossible to know what that refurb cost is. Since they could just get $348 on the open market without the refurb, I would imagine the profit is much higher than that $48. I would guess much closer to $148 to $48, but that’s pure speculation. Let’s just call it $100. So instead of getting $749 for this iPhone XR, Apple got $849 ($449+$500-$100).

Apple does not give anything away. Ever. They like to put on a soft, PC face, but they are also the greediest company out there, because Steve Jobs understood that the scorecard was all in dollar signs, not phone units.

I think this is another brilliant lever-pull by Tim Cook, that no one else even saw, won’t understand until the May conference call, and maybe never. Or, I’m just completely wrong. Isn’t following Apple fun and exhausting?

I Think They’re Headed to Asia

Again, we’re into purely speculative territory here, but this is based on a few things:

Bigger phones tend to be popular in Asia. According to Device Atlas, in South Korea, home of Samsung (OTC:SSNLF), the most popular phone in 2018 is the iPhone 7 Plus with 11% share. The top Android phone is the Galaxy Note 8, also a large phone. It’s not true in every Asian country, but sales of larger phones tend to be better there, where it is often a person’s only device.

Right now, the dollar is strong and a good way for Apple to boost profits is selling abroad. The $749 iPhoneXR costs 990,000 Korean Won, or $887 in today’s exchange on xe.com. A brand new iPhone 7 Plus is $569 in the US, and $681 in Korea. Also, this income and profit gets funneled through their Irish “subsidiary” and they pay no US taxes on it.

Notice I didn’t tell you the price of a refurb iPhone 7 Plus in the Korean Apple Store? That’s because there are no iPhones there, or anywhere else in Asia that I looked. Like I said, Apple is very deliberate about things, and they may have a Very Good Reason why there are none. Or, they could be lacking in supply, and that’s what this is all about: getting supply of used inventory to sell in Asia.

But Wouldn’t This Cut Into New iPhone Sales?

Yes. Probably. I don’t care. More to the point, neither does Apple. The margins on the refurbs are high, it increases their user base in the fastest growing part of the world, and juicing foreign sales, where the profits are much higher, will make up for some of the reduced units on the top-line phones. Analysts may care where the dollars come from, but Apple does not.2 They are the only units that matter.

Implications for Apple Stock

As I write this, Apple sits at 156.23. It’s TTM PE is 13.15. Their cash-net-debt is about $22/share (probably more now, since the share count is likely lower than it was in September). So minus the cash, the market is currently valuing Apple at $134 with a PE of 11.30. That is, other than the cash, the entire rest of Apple is worth $636 billion. Other assets besides cash are $166 billion. So the non-asset value of the entire company is $470 billion. Come on, now.

But there is an old saying that the market can remain irrational longer than you can remain solvent. The Bull and The Bear are out, fighting for supremacy, with one fear trade on top of another. Say whatever you want about trade, the Fed, liquidity, whatever. We are into pure Animal Spirits and none of it matters until one of them wins.

So under these conditions, I can’t say that Apple stock won’t go even lower; you may even be able to get it as low as $100 if The Bear wins. But I also think that the price for Apple now is absurdly low, and a year from now will be a lot higher. I took another taste at $150, even though I am a big Fat Bear right now. If it goes to $100, I will probably buy more. That’s how I do Apple, I only buy, never sell. It’s working so far, until it doesn’t.

Conclusions: Who Knows?

Pictured L-R: Eddie Cue, Ho Chi Minh, Nikita Khrushchev, Phil Schiller, Leonid Brezhnev, Tim Cook and Jeff Williams. Scott Forestall was airbrushed out of that empty spot in the middle between Khrushchev and Schiller. Source: US Navy Public Archives

During the Cold War, solid data about the Soviet Union was very hard to come by. Frustrated political scientists came up with the field of “Sovietology,” which was more art than science. They would pour over articles and photos in Pravda looking for any clue into new policy or inner-circle machinations from article verbiage, and photo composition and airbrushing. You will probably be unsurprised to learn that, lacking data, their predictions were not very good.

Covering Apple is kind of similar and equally as frustrating. They are almost as secretive as the Soviets between SEC filings, and so we have to engage in a little educated guessing, and hope our record is better than the Sovietologists. Anyone from outside of Apple who tells you they know what is happening at Apple is a liar. Heck, most of the people inside Apple don’t know what’s going on beyond their own small world there.

As always, the speculation about this quarter will end with their 10-Q, and maybe we will get a couple of days’ break before the speculation on Q2 begins. Until then, speculate away!

Sadly…

My policy with heavily-followed companies like Apple is to not read or respond to comments, as they seem to attract a large amount of FUD and trolling. Feel free to send me a private message if you have a question or comment directed at me. If you are polite and respectful, you will almost certainly get a response that is also polite and respectful.

Endnotes

1 I included shipping for two reasons. 1. This is the full cost of what the buyer was willing to pay. 2. Low price + high shipping cost is the oldest trick in the book.

2 When the iPhone was first released, some analysts complained that it would cut into iPod sales and was therefore a bad idea. Seriously.

Disclosure: I am/we are long AAPL. I wrote this article myself, and it expresses my own opinions. I am not receiving compensation for it (other than from Seeking Alpha). I have no business relationship with any company whose stock is mentioned in this article.

Additional disclosure: Forever, and ever

Editor’s Note: This article discusses one or more securities that do not trade on a major U.S. exchange. Please be aware of the risks associated with these stocks.

0 notes

awesomecolorfulcollectorwombat · 6 years

Text

Apple Silly Season Is Upon Us

New Post has been published on https://rwamztech.com/apple-silly-season-is-upon-us/

Apple Silly Season Is Upon Us

Silly Season Is Upon Us

That feeling when graffiti makes more sense than floor traders. By cogdogblog – Good Advice, CC0, Bring a towel, too. (2535543334).jpg

We’ll know soon enough what the quarter looked like for Apple, as the company reports its earnings May 1.

How’d that work out?

AAPL Revenue (Quarterly YoY Growth) data by YCharts

Oh, right. I wonder if Dave ever wrote a headline, “Boy, Was I Wrong About the iPhone X!”

Anyway, not to pick on Peter Cohan specifically, but there’s been a lot of this:

O how mighty Apple has fallen!

By discounting the price to $449, the iPhone gross margin drops to 13 percent.

Bonus points for “O how mighty Apple has fallen!”

He is correct that Steve Jobs loved high gross margins so much that his wife was probably jealous of their relationship. But, unfortunately, arithmetic and common sense are Cohan’s nemeses here.

So What’s Wrong Here?

Secondly, as I will show below, Apple is most most likely increasing profits here, not decreasing them.

The Apple Trade-In Program

You wouldn’t know it from these articles, but Apple has had a trade-in program for years now. Two things have changed:

They raised the trade-in value for December. More so on the older phones.

They promoted the heck out of it for Christmas.

Here are the changes in trade-in value:

Device

Old Credit

New Credit

Change

iPhone 6

$75

$150

100%

iPhone 6 Plus

$100

$200

100%

iPhone 6s

$100

$200

100%

iPhone 6s Plus

$150

$250

67%

iPhone 7

$175

$250

43%

iPhone 7 Plus

$250

$300

20%

iPhone 8

$275

$300

To me, the only units that matter are US dollars, to paraphrase Johnny Rotten.

Source: AZQutoes

First, let’s look at the economics of this transaction.

The Only Units

I looked on eBay to get a sense of where the market for used iPhone 7 Pluses stood as of today. I cataloged the last 100 completed transactions that fulfilled the following qualifications:

32GB

Described as good or better. Minor scratches and dings OK.

All components in good working order

No third-party screen replacement or any other third-party major component replacement.

Unlocked in all ways

No accessories required, just the phone

Also, there were a couple that were suspect, like the one that sold for $1100 to someone 10 miles away from the seller (LOL, money-laundering), so I omitted those.

I Think They’re Headed to Asia

Again, we’re into purely speculative territory here, but this is based on a few things:

But Wouldn’t This Cut Into New iPhone Sales?

Implications for Apple Stock

Conclusions: Who Knows?

As always, the speculation about this quarter will end with their 10-Q, and maybe we will get a couple of days’ break before the speculation on Q2 begins. Until then, speculate away!

Sadly…

Endnotes

1 I included shipping for two reasons. 1. This is the full cost of what the buyer was willing to pay. 2. Low price + high shipping cost is the oldest trick in the book.

2 When the iPhone was first released, some analysts complained that it would cut into iPod sales and was therefore a bad idea. Seriously.

Additional disclosure: Forever, and ever

Editor’s Note: This article discusses one or more securities that do not trade on a major U.S. exchange. Please be aware of the risks associated with these stocks.

0 notes

weekendwarriorblog · 3 years

Text

The Weekend Warrior 8/6/21 - THE SUICIDE SQUAD, FANTASIA FILM FESTIVAL, VIVO, ANNETTE, AILEY, NEW YORK ASIAN FILM FESTIVAL, JOHN AND THE HOLE, and More

After a week with three new wide releases and others coming up in August with three and even four (!), it’s kind of nice to get a “quieter” week with only one wide release, plus it's one that I’ve already reviewed. Yay!

With that in mind, that allows me to start things off with two film festivals that are near and dear to my heart, the first being the 25th annual installment of the Fantasia International Film Festival, which runs from this Thursday, August 5 through August 25. That’s three weeks, which is sort of the norm, although it will be a festival that blends virtual with in-person screenings making it a true hybrid festival. Personally, I would love to be up in Montreal for some of the in-person screenings, as they tend to be quite rousing and rowdy events -- and that will include an early preview of James Gunn’s The Suicide Squad this Thursday -- but I will have to settle for the fest’s vast screener library inste ad. Not that I’ve actually had time to watch much as I watched my entire weekend and free time slip away in order to watch and write about other things, but there’s some good stuff.

For instance, they’ll be premiering Donnie Yen’s new movie, Raging Fire, directed by Bennie Chan, next Tuesday, a few days before it gets a theatrical release across North America. (Its International Premiere is actually taking place at the New York Asian Film Festival, which you can read more about below.) Fantasia will also have the World Premiere for Rueben Martell’s Don’t Say Its Name, a horror movie featuring indigenous talent both in front of and behind the camera. Let Me Make You a Martyr filmmaker returns with his new crime-thriller Ida Red, starring Joshua Hartnett, Frank Grillo and Melissa Leo.

This year’s Fantasia is going to close with The Great Yokai War - Guardians, the sequel to Takashi Miike’s The Great Yokai War which opened Fantasia way back in 2006. In fact, Miike has probably been one of Fantasia’s most consistent guests, having many movies playing at the festival that never get released in the United States in any form.

It’s going to be an interesting mix of in-person screenings and on-demand virtual ones, and as in the past, it’s almost impossible to see everything. I think my only issue with Fantasia is that there are so many great genre films played there every year that it’s very hard to figure out which ones to watch when you’re not actually there on the ground.

And then closer to home in New York, another personal favorite, the New York Asian Film Festival is celebrating its 20th anniversary in a combination of virtual and in-person screenings running between Friday, August 6 and August 22. Sure, there can be a bit of overlap between the NYAFF and Fantasia, particularly in the Asian content, but there are also a few distinct things, like the festival’s opening night film, Escape from Mogadishu from South Korea’s Ryoo Seung-wan, which covers the same Somali civil war as Ridley Scott’s Black Hawk Down but from another perspective. It will also be released in theaters this Friday. Chinese actor Chan King Long’s directorial debut, Hand Rolled Cigarette, will also premiere this Friday, as will Aimee Long’s directorial debut, A Shot Through the Wall, both of them debuting at the Walter Reade Theatre (the latter on Sunday).

And there’s just a slew of virtual screenings of some of the latest and most recent Asian films, many of which will never get any sort of release in the United States. That is probably the best aspect of the NYAFF, because while there are many filmmakers like Park Chan-wook and Bong Joon-ho, who will eventually break out here, many of the biggest Asian filmmakers first got their start with movies at NYAFF. That’s why those interested in international cinema should definitely be giving the NYAFF some of their time and money every year, since it’s such a terrific discovery festival… plus it’s also a lot of fun. I’m half tempted to go up to see some of the in-person screenings myself, this weekend.

I’ve never attended Geena Davis’ 2021 Bentonville Film Festival, but thanks to it also going semi-virtual or hybrid, I’ll have a chance to see a few movies I might not have otherwise. There are a few great films by women directors that have already played at other festivals and will be released soon, such as Sian Heder’s Sundance award-winning Coda (which opens next week!) and Natalia Morales’ Language Lessons, both excellent films that have played festivals this year. Other films I’ve seen and liked that are playing Bentonville, including the Van Jones doc, The First Step, and the comedy, 7 Days.

I’m also interested in the World Premiere of The Disappearance of Mrs. Wu, directed by Anna Chi; Waikiki, Christopher Kahunakana’s feature debut about a Native Hawaiian hula dancer trying to escape an abusive boyfriend; Edson Jean’s Ludi; and Andrew and Joe Erwin’s doc, The Jesus Music, which looks at Christian Music. Bentonville tends to be another great discovery festival. This is obvious when I look at winners from past festivals like Yellow Rose and The Garden Left Behind.

As mentioned above, there’s only one new wide release, and it’s James Gunn’s THE SUICIDE SQUAD (Warner Bros.), a semi-sequel to the 2016 blockbuster Suicide Squad directed by David Ayer that includes a few of the original actors but a few not of others, although it’s still the same general principle, only done in a far more comedic way. Got it?

In case you missed all that (or the original movie), The Suicide Squad is based on the DC Comics superteam, of sorts, made up of DC villains who are seen as expendable as they’re sent on missions by Amanda Waller (played again by Viola Davis). If they fail or try to escape, their heads get blown up by explosives planted at the base of their skull. Fun, huh?

The original movie opened with an amazing $133 million and grossed $325 million In North America alone and another $422 million overseas, although reviews were less than kind and the fans, maybe a little less kinder. Sure, some people liked parts of it, but there were other parts that were just a disaster, so the movie grossing over $300 million was astounding (similar to the “Transformers” movies, in fact.)

Along comes James Gunn, freshly fired from the third Guardians of the Galaxy, which he will be doing next…. After a Christmas Special next year, and a Peacemaker HBO spin-off from this movie that hasn’t even been released yet. Warners snapped up Mr. Gunn, hoping that he could do for their property what he did for Guardians. While this may not be the most important IP in their drawer but has already proven to make enough money that you couldn’t just leave it in there forever. Fortunately, Gunn convinced Warner Bros. to let him make the R-rated Suicide Squad movie that the first one should have been and without the reins of a PG-13 Disney-released movie, Gunn could go absolutely nuts, and he did.

Some might be worried about WIll Smith not being in the sequel, because let’s face it, Big Willie is indeed an A-list star with a wide variety of fans of different ages, creeds, and colors. The fact that Will Smith could help turn an Aladdin movie directed by Guy Ritchie into a significant hit for Disney, well, that shows his power.

Even without Smith, Margot Robbie returns as Harley Quinn, who was last seen in last year’s Birds of Prey, a movie that was expected to do a lot better than its $33 million opening last February, before it got completely hobbled by the rise of COVID in March. It ended up grossing just $200 million worldwide, less than half of that in North America, and it might have put a damper on DC doing another R-rated superhero movie… except The Suicide Squad was well under way. Also back is Joel Kinnaman as Col. Rick Flag, a regular in the comics, and a decent actor but not someone anyone could seriously consider a box office draw. Other than Suicide Squad, Kinnaman has starred in quite a few bombs including a Robocop remake that tanked with $58.6 million domestic (it did better overseas), and then Run All Night, directed by Jaume Collet-Sera of last week’s Jungle Cruise, which made half that amount.

More importantly, the movie introduces a lot of new characters, including Idris Elba as Bloodsport, replacing Will Smith’s Deadshot, which might seem like a bit of a stepdown considering that Smith may be one of the top A-list stars on the planet, while Elba is popular but nowhere on the same level. Hey, it’s truth. Granted, Elba played Heimdall in Marvel’s Thor and a bunch of his sequels, and he’s provided his voice in quite a few Disney hits, while also appearing in a few odds and ends in terms of genre films like Guillermo del Toro’s Pacific Rim (which hit the $100 million mark) and Ridley Scott’s Prometheus, which did a little better. Still, Elba has created quite a fanbase around him for shows like Luther and The Wire, and his role in The Suicide Squad should help him line up more leading roles in bigger movies. I wouldn’t expect him to play James Bond but he’ll be around a long time.

After that, there’s sometimes-wrestler John Cena as Peacemaker, another less-than-known DC character, but Cena also brings his fanbase (sort of) from wrestling, to which he’s returning for WWW SummerSlam in a few weeks. Cena hasn’t necessarily made huge waves on the big screen, although we can’t forget that he was just in F9: The Fast Saga, the latest in the unstoppable franchise that’s one of the biggest movies of the pandemic year. He also starred in Paramount’s Bumblebee, adding to his franchise cred. As mentioned above, Cena already has warranted his own HBO Max series, so obviously, someone at Warner Media felt he was doing something right.

Other key roles include Sylvester Stallone voicing King Shark, David Dastmalchian from Ant-Man playing “Polka Dot Man” (about as D-list a DC character you can possibly get but used hilariously in the movie), as well as Ratcatcher 2, played by Daniella Melchior, not be confused with her father, Ratcatcher 1. Oh, and of course, Viola Davis, the Oscar-winning goddess who should have won another Oscar for Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom, but no, I’m not bitter that it screwed up my oscar pool. There’s a lot of other actors, many from Gunn’s other films like Mike Rooker, brother Sean Gunn, and Nathan Fillian, and if they were in the movie for very long, I would consider them something to consider, though their presences does insure that this is indeed a James Gunn movie.

As has been the case quite a bit since I revived this column to discuss box office, we have to take two things into account, one being COVID and the fears surrounding it that have kept many otherwise sane people away from movie theaters. Also, The Suicide Squad will be premiering concurrently on HBO Max, so anyone who has the WM streamer could literally just turn it on Friday and watch the movie for no extra charge beyond whatever they pay per month. Unlike other movies that had this kind of release, Warners is allowing theaters to play the movie for Thursday night previews, so there’s a lot of money that can be made there (and all weekend) from those who choose to see it in theaters. (Honestly, I have no idea why anyone would want to watch this movie, especially it’s absolutely enormous last act, on a computer or television, but welcome to 2021. Whine whine whine.)

I was ready to go north of $60 million on this one because it seems like the kind of movie that could get people back out into theaters, especially when you realize how much the original movie made and how the idea of heroes whose heads can be blown up at any moment (and in that case, the R-rating helps). Then I remembered Birds of Prey and how that came out pre-COVID and couldn’t even open over $40 million, so I had to lower my expectations, although I still think this will fare very well even with HBO Max and COVID in play, so I’m going with somewhere in the mid-$50 million range.

You can read my review of The Suicide Squad over at Below the Line.

This is how I see the Top 10 playing out at the box office:

1. The Suicide Squad (Warner Bros.) - $55 million N/A

2. Jungle Cruise (Walt Disney Pictures) - $17.5 million -50%

3. Black Widow (Marvel/Disney) - $3.6 million -45%

4. Stillwater (Focus) - $3.1 million -40%

5. Old (Universal) - $3 million -56%

6. The Green Knight (A24) - $2.8 million -58%

7. Snake Eyes (Paramount/MGM/Skydance) - $2.1 million -52%

8. Space Jam: A New Legacy (Warner Bros.) - $2 million -53%

9. F9: The Fast Saga (Universal) - $1.5 million -45%

10. Escape Room: Tournament of Champions (Sony) - $1.3 million -42%

Hitting Netflix on Friday is the animated musical, VIVO (Netflix), which was produced by Sony Pictures Animation but then sold to Netflix rather than trying to make it work in theaters. Directed by Kirk DeMico (The Croods) and Brandon Jeffords, in features the voice of Lin-Manuel Miranda as the voice of the title character, an organ grinder’s monkey in Havana, Cuba with his organ grinder Andrés, voiced by Juan de Marcos González (Buena Vista Social Club), who desires to be reunited with his long-separated love Marta (voiced by Gloria Estefan), who went off to fame and fortune as a singer because Andrés didn’t want to express his feelings for her in fear of her giving up her singing career. Vivo ends up in Miami and decides to try to find Marta and reconnect the lovebirds.

Just really catchy numbers written by Lin-Manuel Miranda, so if you like his work from In the Heights and Hamilton and Moana, etc. etc, then there are more songs he wrote, which he sings… mostly in the body of an animated monkey. The story itself isn’t particularly great, as the movie takes what would be a unique and novel setting i.e Cuba and introduces a number of animated movie stereotypes, including the weird girl Gabby (Ynairaly Simo), who gets increasingly more annoying as the film goes on.

In general, I loved most of the songs and the musical production (other than Gabby’s theme, which I was not crazy about), more than the story or the actual animation. Because Vivo is a monkey, there’s a weird section of the film that talks about vaccines and quarantines, probably written before the pandemic, which just makes it that much weirder.

Vivo has some decent emotional beats and terrific songs, but otherwise, it seems very cookie-cutter in terms of the storytelling. It’ll be just fine for kids, but adults may have trouble staying very interested.

Speaking of musicals, the rock opera ANNETTE (Amazon), written by, and with music and songs from Russell and Ron Mae AKA Sparks, will hit theaters this Friday in advance of its debut on Amazon Prime Video on August 20. Directed by Leos Carax (Holy Motors), the movie stars Adam Driver and Marion Cotillard as stand-up comic Henry McHenry and opera singer Ann, respectively, who get married and have a baby girl named Annette, who is actually a puppet that sings. (I did warn you that this is from Sparks and Leos Carax, right?)

Annette is exactly what anyone should expect from this collaboration between the quirky L.A. avant-rock duo and the French auteur, even if you believe the FFS song that “Collaborations Don’t Work” -- which you would know not to be true if you went to see Edgar Wright’s documentary, The Sparks Brothers, as I recommended last month! But instead of dubbing this a musical, it’s gotta be called for what it actually is… a ROCK OPERA. Annette reminded me a lot of ‘70s musical movies like Tommy and Godspell, where you knew there must have been some drug use involved (cause it was the ‘70s).

Driver’s stage performances are definitely some of the aspects that will divide audiences, because he veers from being an outrageous shock comic (think a mopeyer Sam Kinnison) to just being an insane and abusive jerk who drives even his devout fans away. The two extended sequences show Driver at his most emotive, but he’s also the kind of character that could push the movie’s audiences away as effectively as he does his fans. On the other hand, Cotillard is absolutely brilliant, even if she isn’t singing her own opera, as is Simon Helberg -- yes, that guy from The Big Bang Theory -- as her piano accompanist who later becomes a conductor, and then more.

The movie’s mood constantly shifts gears and direction, although it never is quite funny enough to be considered “comedy,” and if one really needed to categorize it, it would be placed in the realm of dark thriller… with music.

One thing that Sparks fans should know is that this is not a movie full of new Sparks songs, even if it is full of Sparks music. In other words, other than a couple actual songs -- like the opening overture -- there isn’t much of the music that might work separately or out of content with the movie or the story. Like in opera, almost everything is sung with very little spoken dialogue persé, and this was clearly a decision.

I’m not quite sure Annette will find either Sparks or Carax many new fans -- I definitely liked it more than Holy Motors, that’s for sure -- but for many, it’s going to be a strange experience to get through and maybe one they won’t necessarily need to see in theaters.

I finally got around to watching Jamila Wignot’s documentary, AILEY (NEON), which has been playing in theaters in New York the past few weeks and is expanding to other areas this Friday. Of course, the film is about legendary New York choreographer Alvin Ailey, whose work spanned six decades before his death in 1989 but not before he helped many dancers and other choreographers beak it into the contemporary dance scene.

It’s a little weird writing about this movie now, because just two weeks ago, I was writing about another dance doc called, Can You Bring It: Bill T. Jones and D-Man in the Waters, about another specific work by a choreographer and the message it was sharing about AIDS. In fact, Jones also appears in this doc talking about the influence and assistance Ailey gave him earlier in his own career.

Ailey is a much more straight-forward portrait doc about Ailey’s life and career, and because of that, I didn’t enjoy it nearly as much as Can You Bring It, but the two movies actually end up acting as nice companion pieces to each other despite being made by different filmmakers in different environments.

Lucy Walker’s documentary BRING YOUR OWN BRIGADE (CBSN) will play in theaters starting Friday and then on Paramount Plus and CBSN starting August 20. It looks at the 2017 fires that absolutely destroyed Paradise, California, and unlike Ron Howard’s Rebuilding Paradise, this is as much about the fire and how it affected people as the aftermath and figuring out how to rebuild. I thought it was pretty good, although it’s tough to

Incidentally, I wrote about and reviewed Edson Oda‘s NINE DAYS (Sony Pictures Classics) last week, but it’s going to expand into a few hundred more theaters this weekend, as well.

Legendary character actor Udo Kier stars in Todd Stephens’ SWAN SONG (Magnolia Pictures), which premiered at the SXSW Film Festival back in March, and I quite enjoyed it. It will get a limited theatrical release this weekend and then will be released digitally. In this comedy, Kier plays Pat Pitsenbarger, a flamboyant hairdresser who escapes from his Ohio nursing home in order to grant a former client her dying wish of having him design her hairstyle. Also starring Jennifer Coolidge, it will be in theaters this Friday and On Demand August 13, and hopefully I can write more about it next week, because I did quite like it but didn’t have time for another viewing.

Another movie from Sundance that’s finally hitting theaters (and digital) this Friday is Pascual Sisto’s JOHN AND THE HOLE (IFC Films), written by Nicolás Giacobone, who wrote Alejandro Iñárritu’s Birdman and Biutiful. It stars Charlie Shotwell as the title character, John, who traps his family in a bunker that he finds in the woods behind their home. I wish I could tell you that there’s more to the movie than that or that it offers something riveting or thought-provoking or something unforgettable, but I’d be lying. It’s not good.

It stars Michael C. Hall as John’s father and Jennifer Ehle as his mother, but Shotwell plays such a bland character that I just had a hard time finding anything that could really maintain my interest. The characters were boring, the writing was bland (which says a lot about how great a director Innaritu is), and there was just nothing I could glom onto. In that sense, the movie reminded me a bit of the first time I saw M. Night Shyamalan’s Unbreakable in terms of all the boring conversations that dragged that movie down, and this has a similar issue.

There’s just no way around declaring that there really wasn’t very much that I liked about this movie, and honestly, the fact I tried to watch it a THIRD time after my first two attempts tell me that I’ve done more than my share of trying. It’s just not a good movie.

Unfortunately, my schedule this week got derailed quite tragically, so there were a few other foreign films I hoped to get to but just didn’t have the time…

From Korea (via the New York Asian Festival, as mentioned above) is Ryoo Seung-wan’s Korean war thriller, ESCAPE FROM MOGADISHU (Well GO USA), as the movie is in Korean, but it’s about two Korean war correspondents caught up in the Somali war.

From Uruguay, Maxi Contenti’s THE LAST MATINEE is about an audience attending the last showing of a horror film in a downtown cinema that’s terrorized by a murderer killing them off one by one. (This is actually my kind of jam so I’ll try to watch and write something about it once I do. I just ran out of time this week.)

From Afghanistan comes Mariam Ghani’s doc WHAT WE LEFT UNFINISHED (Dekanalog), which takes a look at the state-funded filmmaking program during the country’s Communist era with a bunch of writers, actors and filmmakers talking about five unfinished and unedited projects made between 1978 and 1991.

The Film Forum in New York City is starting another film series (or rather, continuing it from when it started before COVID in March 2020) called “The Woman Behind Hitchcock,” starting this Friday, which is fairly self-explanatory, but it should be a great series with a lot of rare films being shown.

Also hitting Apple TV+ this Friday are the first few episodes of Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s MR. CORMAN, in which he stars as the title character, produces, directs and writes a bunch of the episodes. In it, he plays an elementary school teacher in L.A., who is trying to come to terms with a lot of portions of his life. I’ve seen about half the episodes in the first season, and it’s quite a different show than anything else out there. I’ll have an interview with the Cinematographer, Jarod Presant, over at Below the Line later today.

A few movies that I just didn’t get to this week, include: THE MACALUSO SISTERS (Glass Half Full) MATERNA (Utopia) FIREBOYS NIGHTDRIVE (Dark Sky Films)

Next week, it’s August 13, and we have three new wide releases! (See what I mean?) We get Ryan Reynold’s Free Guy, the horror sequel Don’t Breathe 2, and the Aretha Franklin biopic, Respect.

#The Weekend Warrior #Movies #Reviews #Box Office #Suicide Squad #Annette #Vivo #John and the Hole #Ailey #swan song

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lazilysillyprince · 6 years

Text

Apple Silly Season Is Upon Us

New Post has been published on https://rwamztech.com/apple-silly-season-is-upon-us/

Apple Silly Season Is Upon Us

Silly Season Is Upon Us

That feeling when graffiti makes more sense than floor traders. By cogdogblog – Good Advice, CC0, Bring a towel, too. (2535543334).jpg

We’ll know soon enough what the quarter looked like for Apple, as the company reports its earnings May 1.

How’d that work out?

AAPL Revenue (Quarterly YoY Growth) data by YCharts

Oh, right. I wonder if Dave ever wrote a headline, “Boy, Was I Wrong About the iPhone X!”

Anyway, not to pick on Peter Cohan specifically, but there’s been a lot of this:

O how mighty Apple has fallen!

By discounting the price to $449, the iPhone gross margin drops to 13 percent.

Bonus points for “O how mighty Apple has fallen!”

He is correct that Steve Jobs loved high gross margins so much that his wife was probably jealous of their relationship. But, unfortunately, arithmetic and common sense are Cohan’s nemeses here.

So What’s Wrong Here?

Secondly, as I will show below, Apple is most most likely increasing profits here, not decreasing them.

The Apple Trade-In Program

You wouldn’t know it from these articles, but Apple has had a trade-in program for years now. Two things have changed:

They raised the trade-in value for December. More so on the older phones.

They promoted the heck out of it for Christmas.

Here are the changes in trade-in value:

Device

Old Credit

New Credit

Change

iPhone 6

$75

$150

100%

iPhone 6 Plus

$100

$200

100%

iPhone 6s

$100

$200

100%

iPhone 6s Plus

$150

$250

67%

iPhone 7

$175

$250

43%

iPhone 7 Plus

$250

$300

20%

iPhone 8

$275

$300

To me, the only units that matter are US dollars, to paraphrase Johnny Rotten.

Source: AZQutoes

First, let’s look at the economics of this transaction.

The Only Units

I looked on eBay to get a sense of where the market for used iPhone 7 Pluses stood as of today. I cataloged the last 100 completed transactions that fulfilled the following qualifications:

32GB

Described as good or better. Minor scratches and dings OK.

All components in good working order

No third-party screen replacement or any other third-party major component replacement.

Unlocked in all ways

No accessories required, just the phone

Also, there were a couple that were suspect, like the one that sold for $1100 to someone 10 miles away from the seller (LOL, money-laundering), so I omitted those.

I Think They’re Headed to Asia

Again, we’re into purely speculative territory here, but this is based on a few things:

But Wouldn’t This Cut Into New iPhone Sales?

Implications for Apple Stock

Conclusions: Who Knows?

As always, the speculation about this quarter will end with their 10-Q, and maybe we will get a couple of days’ break before the speculation on Q2 begins. Until then, speculate away!

Sadly…

Endnotes

1 I included shipping for two reasons. 1. This is the full cost of what the buyer was willing to pay. 2. Low price + high shipping cost is the oldest trick in the book.

2 When the iPhone was first released, some analysts complained that it would cut into iPod sales and was therefore a bad idea. Seriously.

Additional disclosure: Forever, and ever

Editor’s Note: This article discusses one or more securities that do not trade on a major U.S. exchange. Please be aware of the risks associated with these stocks.

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