#and then idk what the acceptable kinds of coffee shop activities are. like am i gonna be super weird if i bring my laptop or a book | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jillianallen14 · 3 years

Text

Spirk fanfic rec

Some amazing Spirk fanfic to bless your dash because I’m falling in love with this shit all over again (this is like the 10th time this has happened lol):

Entering Orbit: Jim escapes to Iowa to avoid the media frenzy following the Narada incident, but a late-night miscommunication results in Spock turning up on his front porch; rated m; 30,957 words

Papers in the Roadside: Non-Starfleet AU. Jim owns a small bar in Chicago, keeps on picking up strays and taking care of everyone no matter how hard it makes his own life. Spock is a journalist writing feature articles for the Chicago Tribune; he depicts the world with uncanny skill, but hides more than one personal drama and is possibly under surveillance from the Vulcan royal family. They meet by accident just before their lives start to spin out of control; rated e; 49,637 words

Take Refuge in What You Know: AU - Kirk has moved into a apartment/house and wants to get to know his neighbors. He meets his neighbor Spock, a loner who suffers from extreme agoraphobia. Kirk thinks he's beautiful enigma; rated e; 120,334 words

Listen, this is not only my favorite Star Trek fic of all time, it’s also one of my favorite fanfics in general. It’s right up there with Text Talk and The Shoebox Project from the HP fandom, which if you’ve read, you know are incredible and frankly life-changing. And this fanfic changed my life. The description the author gives doesn’t do the beauty of this fic justice. I suffer from agoraphobia and Spock’s depiction as an agoraphobic man was probably the most well-researched, sympathetic, empathetic, caring, realistic portrayal of what it’s like to be agoraphobic that I’ve ever witnessed in fiction. It made me cry like a child because I had never felt so seen and understood. This writer is incredible, and this fic is incredible. I can’t recommend it enough. It’s an AU, which I’m usually pretty wary about, but it barely even feels like an AU. It just feels like Jim and Spock. The author’s understanding of both of their characters’ is perfect, like just a spot-on portrayal of who they are. This fic genuinely helped me accept who I am and helped me understand that I am capable of & deserving of love. If you don’t read any other Star Trek fics (and you def should read more Star Trek fics because they’re amazing), then let this one be the one you read. I dare you not to read it three times in a row like I did.

Observations: First Officer Spock comments on life aboard the Enterprise and his service under Captain James T. Kirk; rated m; 500,000+ words.

So the author of this fic actually did a thing where they made this fic into two books (similar to what The Shoebox Project authors did many years ago in the HP fandom). They don’t get any money from people buying the books; the cost is just to go towards producing the books. This fic is the equivalent of two LARGE novels. We’re talking 600 pages & up. It’s a huge fic. Now, that being said, I read it in one day. ONE DAY. It’s that good. This is another one of my all-time favorite fics, though not quite as dear to my heart as the one I listed above. It’s focused on AOS, and tbh, I forget that what happens in this book isn’t actually canon. Like it’s so well-told, it just feels like it’s now part of the timeless story of Kirk & Spock. The “professional” Star Trek writers would never be brave enough to do what this author does with Kirk and Spock, though. This fic will make you angry, will make you laugh, will make you cry. It has such a good grasp on every single character. It also shows the love between the crew of the Enterprise, which is always a treat, and it’s beautifully done in this fic. It has a sorta-enemies-to-lovers arc between Spirk and an enemies-to-close-friends arc between Spock and McCoy that is beautifully done and fleshed out. This fic is definitely a journey to go through, and I can’t recommend it enough. It’s extremely slow burn, and you will want to slap both Kirk and Spock (and McCoy) upside the head at certain points lol.

Of Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves: The progression of a relationship, through Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves. Basically, it’s an AU where Kirk works at a coffee shop to pay his way through school, and Spock visits often. rated t; 16,429 words

Love, love, love, this fic. It’s cute, it’s in character. They have kind of a rocky start together, so it’s got a little bit of that Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy i-hated-you-but-now-i-love-you-marry-me vibes to it. I’m a sucker for that, if you haven’t figured that out by now lol. It’s really good, and a really enjoyable read. And it’s not too long, if you’re in the mood for something on the shorter end of things.

Please Don’t Touch the Vulcans: The "yes" is out of Jim's mouth before he can think about it. Jim is chipper about having time off for the holidays. He asks everyone if they want to spend time together but sadly, everyone ditches Jim over the holidays because they have plans. McCoy visits his daughter, Nyota visits her family, and everyone splits. Not knowing Spock has feelings for him, Jim doesn't even bother asking if he wants to spend time together figuring he has something to do. Something cute, romantic with the boys spending time with one another and confessions; rated m; 17,690 words

Super cute and has lots of Sarek, which idk about y’all, but I’m always a fan of. Sarek and Jim kind of get to know each other a bit, and it’s cute. Sarek knows about they’re in love before Spock & Kirk know lol. If I remember correctly, there’s also some appearances from everyone’s favorite: Old!Spock! You also get a little bit of jealous and protective Young!Spock. So you’re in for a real treat with this one.

The Ren shat’var Trilogy: A split-second decision changes Jim's life forever, as he enters into a bond with Spock in the face of certain torture. Enemies to the Federation emerge from unlikely places, and the command team must contend with unexpected threats, as well as challenges within their own intense relationship. In this three-part series, the Enterprise races across the galaxy to confront the unknown, and Jim and Spock discover the true significance of their unprecedented connection; rated e; 184,411 words

Textual Attraction: Valentine’s Day does not bring up pleasant memories for Cadet Kirk. But the serendipitous switch-up of his cell phone with a particular Vulcan professor’s will make his day far more interesting –and romantic. Perhaps some new memories can be made! 15,900 words

SO GOOD. Just SO good

Spaceman: Academy AU. Five times Spock realizes he's attracted to a barista at the academy spaceport, and one time he decides to do something about it. rated t; 3728 words

Short, sweet, funny. You’ll love it.

Subtext: Texting your Vulcan first officer in the middle of the night is never a good idea. Especially when you have an obsessive crush on said Vulcan.The holidays are approaching and Jim is left entirely Spockless aboard the Enterprise when his First takes shore leave on New Vulcan. After some midnight pining, Jim sends a text he instantly regrets. That is, until Spock responds and willingly continues their textual communications to an inevitable conclusion; rated t; 13,032 words

Cute, sweet, funny. It’s a texting fic. I think you’ve probably figured out I love those. This one makes me laugh so fucking hard. Like actually laugh-out-loud-omg-did-i-just-snort kind of funny. Spock is great in this one

All Spock Wants For Christmas: While Jim is away on a delegation mission, he panics about what to give Spock for Christmas. With help from Bones and Uhura, and in between some spam texting with Spock, Jim realizes he already has the perfect gift. And all it needs is wrapping paper and a bow; rated t; 11,966 words

And here we have another cute, sweet, funny texting fic. Sue me lol

The Morning After: Jim convinces Spock to take shore leave with him on Risa, hoping the time together will help re-solidify their bond of friendship after some recent tension. Meanwhile, Spock convinces himself he's on Risa for one reason and one reason only, to prevent his wayward captain from getting into trouble. After a passionately illogical night of Romulan Ale and chocolate infused liquor, everything changes when Jim wakes with something other than a hangover filling his head. Something he's sure neither he nor Spock can handle. Because if Jim knows anything for sure, it's that his messed up thoughts belong nowhere near Spock's clean, ordered mind; rated m; 50,381 words

HAHA. This fic fucking cracks me up. You’ve got drunk boys pining over each other & not realizing it. You’ve got accidental marriage. You’ve got bed sharing. It’s great, it’s cute, it’s funny.

Take This Sinking Boat (And Point It Home): In which Spock pines, Jim isn’t stupid (except he kind of is), and Christopher Pike has had enough of this bullshit; 6698 words

Pike is great in this one, and it’s super, super funny.

Extracurricular Activities: Spock returns to the Academy from a tour of duty to find an intriguing cadet captures his attention; rated e; 15,433 words

Veritas: Basically, Kirk and Spock are on trial because the Federation thinks they are emotionally compromised by each other, which is putting the lives of their crew in danger. They have to convince a court they’re not actually in love with each other. They think the claims are bullshit. They think it will be easy to prove that they aren’t in love or emotionally compromised, damn it. It isn’t; rated m; 186,80 words

This one is so, so good. A real gem off of Fanfic.net. I remember it was actually one of the first Spirk fanfics I ever read, and it blew me away. The progression of their relationship is really well-done and interesting. It has star-crossed lovers vibes and has some really emotionally intense moments in it, especially for Spock.

A Habitual Affection: Living in 1930s New York with the Vulcan you're secretly in love with is no simple thing. But Jim never liked anything simple. And then, the big snowstorm hit...; rated t; 7998 words

A beautiful TOS fic about one of the gayest episodes of Star Trek. Love this one.

Atlas: Between what was and what will be stands James Tiberius Kirk, in all his fractured patchwork glory. Because saving the Federation was only the beginning; rated t; 135,529 words

A beaut. Really great characterization, and the progression of Jim and Spock’s relationship is really well-done.

#spirk #spock #kirk #james t kirk #spock/kirk #kirk/spock #star trek #star trek tos #star trek aos #space husbands #spirk fanfic recs #spirk fanfic

628 notes · View notes

arthur-morgan-slap-my-ass · 5 years

Text

The Progress of Arthur Morgan | Chapter 3

A/N: I’m sooo sorry I forgot to post yesterday! I got too caught up playing TLOU for idk, the 5th or 6th time because I’m a dirty rat and would totally suck Joel’s dick? Anyways, here’s the conclusion to this thrilling saga, by yours truly! As always, please, give the feedback! Thanks for reading in advance!

Playlist

Word Count: 8,200 words oof

Chapters: 1 | 2

Arthur had started greeting you with a kiss on the cheek about two or three sessions ago, and you were taken aback by the sudden change in behavior — usually he’d stick to the trivial nod of head, maybe a shake of hands, but this was a bit over the top.

You had blinked at him, flustered at the sudden easiness in which he seemed to touch you. With a sudden wave of uneasiness, you took in the small details, his trimmed hair and carefully shaven face, clothing on the nicer side of his wardrobe and a terribly good smelling sandalwood cologne.

Over the past weeks, he had made considerable improvements on his self-image and body language, seemingly more at ease with himself at each session, his behavior growing more flirtatious and teasing with time. It made you happy, to see Arthur progressing like that, but that last bit worried you. It wasn’t unusual for patients to feel attracted to their therapists, but it was rare for them to actively pursued it.

It took half a heartbeat for you to realize that you were most likely in deep shit.

“How are we doing this week, Arthur?,” you had asked him with a tight smile, ignoring the flutter of your stomach at the way he smiled at you, as if aware of the effect he had over you.

“All good, I s’ppose,” he shrugged lightly, apparently not too keen on highlighting any moment of his week, “same old, same old.”

“Same old would be a lie,” you laughed at his offhanded comment, moving to take a seat at your armchair, all too aware of the way Arthur was watching you. “We’ve come a long way since your first session and you seem far better, from my point of view.”

Arthur scoffed, averting his gaze with a flustered look. He soon chuckled, smile widening at your words. “Geez, doc— you can’t go ‘round blurtin’ out stuff like that.”

Was he blushing?

Crap.

“I’m just saying the obvious,” you tried to contour the situation, feeling the twist of emotion in your stomach. “I mean, you’re clearly taking better care of yourself, dressing better—“

At this, he smirked, fixing you with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Arthur shrugged again, as nonchalant as he could be. “S’ppose I have, don’t have to mean anythin’.”

“Arthur Morgan,” you said in a secretive voice, curiosity dripping from your words, “don’t you dare shit me.”

He laughed warmly, the light of it making the corner of his eyes crinkle, no longer hiding behind his hand. Arthur was charming. You couldn’t believe you hadn’t noticed it before. “Let’s say there’s someone,” he started, seeming to be examining you for a reaction, “would you look down on me ‘cause of it?”

“Why would I do such a thing?,” you inquired, wary of the nature of the conversation.

The man huffed out a breath, leaning forwards in his seat in an intimate way as if to tell you a particularly nasty piece of gossip. “Well, all things considered, I just got out of a sinkin’ marriage, doc,” his eyebrows shot up, as if stating the obvious. “Sure sounds weird, me suddenly goin’ ‘round with someone else after barely a couple months, ain’t that so?”

You mouth suddenly felt dry, but you nodded nevertheless. “Each has their own time to heal, I suppose… but if you need to hear it, I wouldn’t look down or think less of you because of that.”

He seemed satisfied, a sheepish little smile blossoming on his full lips. The man seemed almost boyish with the way his eyes fixated on you, the warmth in it threatening to smother you. “Ain’t sure if she likes me yet,” Arthur said quizzically, smile broadening at your nodding answer, “but I sure am tryin’ to catch her eye.”

“It’s good to see that you’re allowing yourself room to grow,” you spoke gently, fighting the urge to prod on the subject, “it makes me proud knowing you’re reaching out for the things you want, Arthur.”

The man cocked his head to the side, an enigmatic little smile playing on his lips as he watched and you could swear his eyes dallied a second too long on your left hand. “Yer told me you’ve divorced too” he started casually, a teasing lilt in his voice as he leaned back, “never told me how that went down for you.”

“Ah,” you gasped out as your eyes widened in surprise, caught off guard, “I don’t think— I mean,” you smiled nervously, fixing your hair, “it’s— it was okay for me.”

Arthur laughed softly, amused at how he had been able to knock you off your feet. “Don’t tell me I’ve ruffled your feathers, doc,” he teased, “why did you divorce?”

Because my husband was a lying piece of garbage who had been fucking the desk attendant, of all people, behind my back as I worked my ass off sounded a bit too extreme, you decided. With a placid smile, you answered:

“I suppose we couldn’t see eye to eye anymore,” your hands tightened on your lap and you trained your gaze on some point above Arthur’s shoulder, “eventually, other people came around and we grew distant.”

He watched you, as if absorbing that piece of information and deciding if he should ask more on it. “Did he cheat on you?,” Arthur asked, all the amusement and jeering gone from his voice, replaced by genuine worry. You had a hard time trying to remember if you’ve seen him this serious.

You turned your head to the side, running away from the question. “I believe we should be talking about you, Arthur—“

“I’m tired of talking ‘bout myself,” Arthur interrupted in a soft voice, “we been seein’ each other once a week, for months now. Figured I should get to know yer a little more, ‘s all.”

With a steadying breath, you rubbed your lips together, tasting the sweetness of your lipgloss. What was he trying to do, cornering you like that? “I don’t think—“

“Don’t give me the ethics talk,” Arthur complained, sighing wearily, “think we’re well past that. ‘sides, I just asked yer a question,” his eyebrows jutted up, a soft smile playing on his full lips. “What’s wrong with that?”

You flirting with me is everything that’s wrong with it¸ you thought to yourself, trying not to seem too closed off, and the worst part is that I want to flirt back.

“I see your point,” you spoke up, in your best nonchalant voice. “I suppose that’s fair.

“Well?,” Arthur probed further, gently. “Don’t have to tell me if I’m pushin’ too hard, doc. I’m just curious ‘bout you, ‘s all.”

“He cheated on me,” came your quiet confession, gaze resting on his eyes, so blue now you swore you could drown in them. You wanted to cry. “With one of our front desk attendants, about 2 years ago.”

Arthur nodded comprehensively, wary not to abuse his already stretched thin luck. You swallowed thickly, trying hard not to seem too sensitive over it. “We divorced and split the money, I got the house and he took the car, nothing new there. I’m okay with it.”

What an awful liar.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, “didn’t mean to upset yer, doc.”

“It’s okay,” you turned your attention to him now, forcing a smile, “it’s behind me.”

Arthur blinked, letting the silence settle in until you squirmed. And then, suddenly, he reached forwards, slowly, offering you his upturned palm. “Thanks for tellin’ me, doc.”

You hesitated, the few centimeters between you both diminishing by half. Your own hand moved, brushing his fingers before gently allowing him to hold it. Arthur’s hand squeezed yours and you noticed how warm his touch was, almost comforting, like a long waited embrace. You gasped out quietly, allowing the tears to pool in your eyes before wiping at them.

“It’s okay,” you repeated, listening the thunderous beating of your heart, hoping it wouldn’t give you away. “It’s okay, Arthur.”

He squinted at you, smiling so softly it made your heart clench — and you had to restrain yourself not to pull away in distress. “It’ll be.”

You pushed the entrance door open, the well known jingle of the bell ringing over your head.

The café you usually went to wasn’t a busy one — a small little thing, a family business with an incredibly sweet Italian cappuccino, just the way you liked it, with an adorably white-and caramel themed decoration —, and today wasn’t any different. With a pleasant smile, took a deep breath in, the smell of coffee and delicacies filling the air as you scanned a good spot to sit down at and maybe update your logbook.

You refused to actively address the issue at hand, opting for avoidance rather direct confrontation.

Arthur had been a recurring subject on your mind for the past few weeks, and what with after the little display a couple days ago, the presence of his character only intensified itself — much to your despair. His hands had felt so incredibly warm against the cool tips of your fingers, gentle and steady, much like his very presence and overall disposition whenever he walked into the listening room lately.

You were satisfied for him, really, proud of the path he had taken towards self-improvement and acceptance — Arthur was far better than when he came to you all those months ago, the curling satisfaction in your chest doing all the more to have you feel like an important part of it. Arthur needed reassurance, a little bit of recognition to realize his own self-worth, resourcing to it every once in a while, which you were all too happy to provide. The look in his eyes whenever you said something kind to him made your heart beat faster — the warmth there, the satisfaction on top of the inherent need to have someone to simply listen.

Scouting a place to sit was easy enough, your gaze sweeping through the few occupied tables to find a quiet and secluded spot for yourself, where you could possibly dissect your feelings revolving Arthur—

Until you found him sitting at the corner of the shop.

Arthur had his chin resting on his hand, holding a pencil as he scribbled something away in the journal you had gifted him — and your heart swelled with affection for him, tinged with a little bit of satisfaction by having him actually enjoy something you had given to him. There was half an empty cup of coffee at his table, beside a plate with half of a sandwich and you figured he must’ve arrived not too long ago.

He didn’t seem to have noticed you, too focused on the task at hand to actually pay much mind to whatever was happening around him. The thought had you smiling with fondness, for some reason.

Your hand tightened around the strap of your shoulderbag. You wanted to sit with him, you realized with a shocking realization; maybe have a coffee and chat a little. Arthur was by no means a bad company, he was funny and witty, having an air of caring disposal to his personality that made you enjoy every minute you could get with him.

It was just a chat, a little voice at the back of your mind reasoned. Just a casual conversation. There would be no harm in that. You were simply being amicable, weren’t you? Friendly, just plain and simple. With a steadying breath, you moved towards him, smile automatically broadening as you got closer.

You were in deep shit.

“How are we doing today, Arthur?,” you asked in your therapeutic voice and Arthur perked up immediately.

He turned to you, setting the pencil down as soon as soon as his eyes caught yours and you could tell he was surprised, but wasted no time on getting to his feet. “Hey, doc,” he spoke casually, bending down to press a polite kiss to the side of your face like he’d done a thousand times. You felt your face burn up just a little. “didn’t expect to run into you here.”

You nodded, absolutely not regretting it. “It’s a small place, yes; I confess that’s the main reason why I like coming here. Also, it has a really good cappuccino.”

Arthur chuckled, the sound of it familiar and comforting to you at this point. “Yeah, well, just got here myself. Was workin’ at the journal and I have to admit, you were right ‘bout it. It’s quite calmin’.”

“I’m glad to see you’ve enjoyed it, really,” you offered gently, feeling brave enough to risk a fleeting brush to his shoulder. You marveled at the way he always seemed to feel so warm and solid every time you touched him. “Like I said, it’s a good way to voice your feelings, quite soothing.”

He smiled softly at you. “Yeah, good excuse to practice my watercolor too,” Arthur motioned towards the leather bound journal, obviously at ease, “good pages for it, too. I’m surprised you knew.”

You shrugged lightly, quickly avoiding your gaze before looking at him again. “I just had a hunch, I think.”

Arthur breathed out a laugh, sitting back sideways on the white cushioned chair in order to face you. “Wanna take a look at it?”

You blinked, slightly taken aback by the offer. It was innocent enough, but it still made your heartbeat raise a little, and you hesitated. “Oh, you don’t have to show it to me—“

“Nonsense,” Arthur waved his hand dismissively, motioning for you to sit across from him at the beige colored sofa-booth right beside the window, “wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want ya to take a peek, ‘sides you’re yet to see some art by me, right?” He smiled softly, in an inviting way, “tell me what you think.”

It’s okay, you told yourself, just take a look at it, maybe have a coffee and—

Who said anything about coffee?!

With a mortified sense of self-awareness, you made your way to the sofa-booth. It was an intimate way to sit with someone, especially with the small table and warmth emanating from everywhere around you. Arthur picked up the menu, passing it to you with a sweet smile.

“Order somethin’ for yourself, doc,” he drawled, in voice that could only be classified as teasing, as if he knew the effect he had on you. “Now yer obligated to spend some time with me.”

Laughing, you took the menu from him and set it down. “I guess you caught me in your trap, Mr. Morgan. How rude of you.”

Arthur hummed, trying to look smug. “I’m smarter than I look like.”

“Quite,” you agreed, smiling at the flustered look that passed through his features for a split second. “Won’t you order me something, since you’re so smart?”

He watched you for a moment, almost surprised, before deciding on it and picking up the discarded menu. “Let’s see,” his gaze lingered on your face, flicking every so often downwards, “you seem like the kind who goes by somethin’ sweet,” he spoke more to himself and you couldn’t help but laugh at it.

“So does you,” you motioned towards the half drained mocha coffee sitting by his hand, “although I’d never have guessed. You seemed like the type to take it straight to me.”

Arthur’s eyebrows shot up, a light chuckle at the back of his throat. “Good to know I can still surprise you somehow, doc.”

Oh, he had no idea.

“What do you have in mind, then?,” you asked, trying to peek at the menu, only to have Arthur pull it more closely to him with an amused laugh.

“I’ll say either Italian cappuccino or mochaccino,” he announced with finality, putting the little booklet aside and moving to his own cup of half finished coffee. “I’ll let you pick which, cuz whatever you’re having, I’ll want one too; if you don’t mind.”

You tried to hide your smile, looking over to one of the waitresses and signaling for her to come over and take the order. Arthur stayed silent, watching you somewhat fondly, until the waitress left, taking the empty cup and the plate in which only a small portion of his sandwich remained after he had said he wouldn’t be finishing it.

“Are you going to show me your journal,” you started casually, pointing to it, “or was it just a way to trick me into having a coffee with you?”

Arthur raised his hands in mock surrender before speaking up. “Maybe a lil’ bit of both, I’ll admit. Just hope you don’t mind much.”

You sighed, cocking your head to the side with a sense of familiarity. A tiny voice whispered at the back of your mind that you were taking things too far; but you preferred to ignore it in order to have Arthur looking at you the way he did now. “Very well then,” you acquiesced gently, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear, “let’s see what you have.”

“Ain’t much writing,” he explained, picking it up and passing it to you “just drawings n’ such, few watercolors, ‘s all.”

His fingers brushed yours when you touched the leather cover, which made you startle slightly, coughing a bit to diffuse the tension. With a little surprise, you noticed that Arthur had nearly used half of the pages already. “You sure liked the idea, don’t know why you never took to it before.”

Arthur shrugged, watching you open the journal and examine a particularly skillful work of a riverbank forestline, the goldish-orange hue of it making it clear which season it was. “Just needed the right push, s’ppose.”

“That’s…,” you ran your hands over the picture, turning to see a pencil sketch of a bird on the next page, beside what you thought was the perfect representation of a tree leaf on the other side. He was skilled, definitely. “Arthur, that’s so beautiful…”

The man scoffed a little, clearly embarrassed. “Ain’t much, but thank you—“

“No,” you interjected softly, turning to the next page for a particularly good-looking representation of blue flowers, which you recognized to be a clump of forget-me-nots, their name written below in neat calligraphy with Arthur’s signature beside. “I mean it, they’re really beautiful.”

“Ah,” he gasped, standing up and quickly moving to your side and you unthinkingly made room for him to sit beside you. “I forgot to give this one to you,” Arthur pointed to it, “thought you deserved a little thank you for… well, you know, didn’t have to buy the journal, but since you did—“

You turned to look at him, the realization and embarrassment slowly creeping in and covering your cheeks in a pinkish hue. “Oh, please, you don’t have to—“

“Aw, c’mon, doc,” he gently pulled the journal from your hands, steadying the pages to rip off the one with the watercolor meant for you, “it’s the least I could do.”

He passed it you, feigning nonchalance, but you noticed how nervous he was; so you took it in your hands, marveling once more at how beautiful it was. “I don’t know what to say, it really is beautiful, Arthur,” you glanced up at him, smiling, “thank you so much.”

“s nothin’,” he half muttered, with a sheepish little smile, pushing the leather bound book back to you, but he didn’t move to go back to his chair across from you. “Just thought you’d like it, ‘s all.”

Trying to repress your own smile, you averted your gaze and set it aside to keep it from crumpling or staining, turning your attention once more to the journal. This was a red light, a big red light — and you tried to play it off as a gentleness, nothing more than that, just Arthur being kind to you. He was an artist, you reminded yourself, and he painted things all the time. It was okay.

You turned the pages idly, examining animal studies and plants, coupled with a few other watercolors — from childhood memories, a few other landscapes, a perky looking brownish dog which Arthur explained to be the one he owned when younger.

“Hosea and Dutch took me to the animal shelter, couple weeks after I came ‘round. Love at first sight, I say,” Arthur chuckled, scratching at his chin, “he was one mad pup, always had his snout where it shouldn’t be.”

“You never mentioned you had a dog,” you commented idly, turning to look at him with a pleasant smile, “I didn’t think you were a dog person.”

Arthur snickered, resting his elbow on the table and leaning into it a little. “Never got the opportunity to mention, ‘s all.”

You watched him for a second, taking in the soft smile on his lips and the warmth of his eyes; so incredibly open you could barely believe how clamped up he had seemed to be when you first met. The coffee had come and was gone now, with how entranced you were by the conversation — and so was Arthur, to your absolute glee —, and you were entertaining the idea of ordering another one just to not have to leave.

Politely skipping Arthur’s writings, you preferred not to pry on his thoughts, instead focusing on his artwork — which were, once more, breathtaking. He paid close attention to details, you noticed. There was a myriad of subjects, but it was clear that Arthur had, indeed, a keen interest in nature. You didn’t know why, but it made you smile. As much as he was willing to share things with you, there was still a lot to discover.

“I wonder where you picked up drawing from,” you whispered outloud, caressing the page of a watercolor of the silhouette of a hare standing out against the sun as it set.

“From Hosea,” Arthur said, leaning closer to the book in order to examine the art himself. Christ, he smelled perfect. “He taught me most of it, but I just got better with time, y’know.”

You nodded, smiling. All you wanted was to lean sideways and rest your head on his shoulder, but you held back, instead turning the page.

And at that, you cocked your head to the side.

It wasn’t the recreation of a budding flower or a bird spreading its wings ready to fly, there was no landscape or careful study of animal anatomy; no leaves

Instead, you looked at a picture of yourself.

You were standing, about half of your torso in it, next to the desk you kept at the listening room; a serene, yet focused expression on your face as you read through the stack of papers there, the profile of your face highlighted beautifully in Arthur’s skills. The colors he had picked for you were soft, pastel-like, putting together an overall dreamy picture and you could see everything, you noticed; the tiny strands of hair, the glimmer of your eyes, the gentle way that your shoulders slouched a bit. Your lips were pulled up slightly, in a quirky smile and there was an overall soft pink hue to your cheeks.

It was simply beautiful.

Turning to look at Arthur, you found yourself out of words. You tried to say something — anything! —, but you could simply look at him, either in shock or realization, you couldn’t really tell. His eyes drifted to yours and he smiled sheepishly, looking way softer than he had ever in the whole time you had known him. His presence now was nerve-wracking, every inch of your body responding to him as if to electricity.

Arthur leaned closer to you, his breathing fanning warmly against your face at his proximity and it felt almost surreal as his lips pressed softly to your cheek. His hand touched yours, cradling it in his touch as he took the opportunity to brush his nose gently against the sensitive skin. You unconsciously leaned into it, closing your eyes.

It was sweet, achingly so, the way he touched you; almost as if you were made of spun glass, a precious treasure to keep. His fingers tangled with yours and he sighed, pulling back to look at you with half-lidded eyes. The same smile was still there, only softer this time, more of admiration and tenderness than anything else.

With a pinkish hue creeping to your cheeks, you noticed the way which Arthur’s gaze dipped ever so slightly to your lips, coming back up a couple times. He wanted to kiss you, came the realization. You reached out, touching his warm cheek with the tips of your fingers, running them around to the back of his neck, making Arthur close his eyes.

There was a pause as you took in the softness in his expression, the way which he leaned into your touch like a something he’d craved for a long time; his free hand coming up to wrap on your wrist. With a flutter in you stomach, you finally caved, leaning towards him for a kiss.

The kiss was so gentle, the soft press of his lips to yours smooth and perfect. Arthur sighed into it, squeezing your hand fondly as he coached you to open your mouth and give him entrance; a request you could never deny. He was surrounding you, the warmth of his touch on your hand and the sweetness of the cappuccino on his tongue a constant reminder.

Your fingers tightened on his hand, unwilling to let go.

You were fucked, you realized instantly.

You brushed your hair slowly, pensively at the vanity of your bedroom. The moon was high in the sky as you stared at your own reflection. Had you committed the worst mistake in your profession? Allowed yourself to catch feelings for your patient, as well as captivating them in him? There was no way of knowing for certain.

Nevertheless, the treatment had seemed to be nearing the end. You’d close off Arthur Morgan’s file and hopefully drown your feelings in an unholy amount of ice cream and vodka, like any divorced woman would.

He was handsome, you reasoned with yourself, and so unbelievably sweet. Such a good kisser, too, gentle and loving. Even with his tendency to clamp up, Arthur was willing to let people in if they cared enough to stick around for him. It made you wonder if he really was so bad that his ex-wife had wanted to divorce him, but…

Did you even know Arthur?

Well, you felt like you did. People never lied in therapy and it was easy to follow things through and the diagnosis would come together and you figured out where to work, plus you had the reference contacts. It all matched. Sometimes people just wanted to talk and it was easier without the judgment of someone they knew — hence the reason why there couldn’t be a prior contact between patients and therapists aside from the listening room.

You set the brush down, watching yourself in the mirror. It was obvious that you had made a mistake. You were still recovering from your own failed marriage, your ex-husband having been a poor excuse for a companion for the past 8 years of your life. You were confused, Arthur was caring and you got carried away. That was it.

If he had been anything like Arthur, a tiny voice whispered at the back of your mind, you’d probably still be married. Maybe even with children.

“What the fuck,” you whispered at yourself, “what the actual fuck—“

You started entertaining the idea of referring him to someone else, a colleague maybe, someone who wouldn’t catch feelings for him but then—

Arthur has trust issues, you reminded yourself angrily, if you refer him to someone else, especially after that long of therapy, he’ll feel dejected. We’re speaking of lives, here. You know the prognosis. You can’t.

Even if you wanted to.

“Fuck,” you sighed, feeling the start of a migraine building up. You paced in an antsy manner in your bedroom before deciding to storm towards the office. You needed the files.

The room was clear, with hues of soft blues and white furnishing to keep your books and logs into shelves. Tying your hair back into a loose knot, you fished Arthur’s logbook from between a disarray of books that looked the same for anyone else asides from you, flicking the pages quickly until you found his entry. You felt as if you were intruding, checking at his logbook like that, even though you were his therapist. You were supposed to accompany his case and make sure he was progressing, not risking your career as a whole because of an infatuation—

You put your reading glasses on with an annoyed sound at the back of your throat.

-> Patient seems to have become less intolerant towards his emotions, displays more willingness to talk about them occasionally + improved verbalization and recognition;

-> Has stopped shying away from family topics; speaks blandly about early childhood;

-> Settled divorce has caused relief, patient has started to develop more self-confidence + vocalization of his wants;

-> Has shown a willingness for connection with others;

-> Patient has shown uneasiness about the ending of treatment; possible codependency?

-> Difficulty when it comes to reaching out for things he wants + unbelieving of self-worth on certain situations (needs work); strives for reassurance every now and then.

Frowning you set the logbook down, with a shivering sigh. Just a couple months more, until the end of the six months period and you’d be able to breath properly — maybe even talk to a colleague about your situation.

When it came to Arthur Morgan, all the years of experience dried up as if an empty well.

With a sickening drop of your stomach, you sat down on your office desk, pulling out a clean paper branded with your name and wrote down a patient referral letter alongside a clean copy of Arthur’s logbook. You decided to keep the flirty behavior and professional boundaries crossed aside, not wanting to get in trouble, alleging that you felt like you could no longer help your client. The moonlight filtering through the window seemed to be the only witness of your deeds, silent and judging.

There was no way you could keep seeing Arthur, you told yourself with a painfully tight tinge of pain in your chest, not when he messed with your head like that, the way you had kissed; and with you willing to bend the rules and blur the lines between your relationship just to indulge him, the memory of the kiss still fresh on your mind. You were no rookie, no fresh-out-of-a-classroom therapist, with only theories to guide you.

You were a seasoned therapist. You had experience and an outlined career path, with good mentors, of a decent formation. You’ve always had a good way with people, always been told you were a good listener. It’s not supposed to happen like this, you kept telling yourself as the letter came to be. It simply isn’t.

You signed it off with a flourish, like a death sentence. You’d make sure to find a colleague who’d suit his needs, better than you ever possibly could — and to call his referral contact, Hosea, later tomorrow. It’s for the best, you told yourself.

Freud had once said that psychoanalysis is, in its essence, a cure through love. It was healing, pure and nurturing, but the love in which he referred to had nothing to do with developing affairs with your patients. You were supposed to listen to Arthur, help him realize his own inner strength and send him off back on his way; and you had done it a thousand times before, with countless clients.

Your eyes welled up with tears of frustration and you leaned forwards to press your forehead against the sealed off envelope on your desk, as if hoping it’d give you the answers you needed.

The day dragged slowly, with you delivering the letter to one of your colleagues of a different clinic, who had experience around the same area as you — he was polite enough not to ask about your sudden decision, looking suspicious, but took the document nevertheless. You passed along details regarding referral contacts and little conjectures on diagnosis and approaches for Arthur — how he seemed to be fond of humor when nervous, his eye contact avoidance when uncomfortable and etc.

Your colleague took notes slowly, fixing you with the look of someone who wanted to ask more, but decided against it.

After getting the worst part of it done, you left the clinic, walking out in the brisk autumn air towards your car, sighing loudly once the door was shut. “Fuck,” you muttered in the deafening silence.

Might as well get it done with. You fished out your cellphone, quickly finding Hosea’s number and dialing to explain the situation for him, doing your best to sound calm once he his voice came up from the other side of the line. “Hello?,” there was a clattering of dishes in the background and you supposed he was in the kitchen.

“Hello, Mr. Matthews,” you said softly, trying to avoid a tremor in your voice, “it’s Arthur’s therapist, I was wondering if you had some time to talk?”

“Ah, yes,” he replied promptly and you heard a door being closed and shuffling, someone asking about the call. Maybe he had gone to the garden? “Has something happened? Is Arthur okay?”

“No need to worry,” you bit your lip, closing your eyes, “Arthur is completely fine. I’m just calling to let you know that unfortunately, I won’t be able to stay with him for the remaining sessions of our treatment—“

“He hasn’t offended you, has he?,” the man asked suddenly, sounding worried, “boy has a poor filter, but his heart is right.”

“No, he…,” you gulped, shaking your head as more tears welled up, “he’s a good patient, but I do believe that your son would be in more capable hands with another therapist.” Hosea hummed thoughtfully, considering your words. “I took the liberty of putting together a referral letter, with all his documentation and information and passed it along to a few colleagues and fortunately one of them replied to me,” you pushed your hair back, trying to keep the tremor off of your voice, “I just left his office, actually.”

“I see…” Hosea sounded surprised, even though he agreed, “that’s a bit sudden, though. I thought you were getting along nicely, weren’t you?”

Perhaps too nicely, you wanted to reply.

“We are, I’ve built a strong bond with Arthur, but I feel like his situation is now beyond my capability as a professional, unfortunately.”

The man hummed, considering your words. “Huh,” he sounded wary, as if not entirely pleased, but understanding. “Will you pass me the information on your colleague then?”

“Yes, absolutely,” you sighed out thankfully, tapping your fingers on the steering wheel, “do you have paper?”

It was wasn’t until a month later that you heard of Arthur, mind constantly wandering off to conjure him in the empty seat of the listening room. The brown throw-pillow of the loveseat seemed far too neat for your liking now, and you picked it up slowly. You missed him, you realized with a sudden wave of emotion. Was it possible to mourn a romance that never came to be? Did he miss you too? You couldn’t possibly know, nor shouldn’t. It was for the best if you severed ties with him.

As if on cue, your phone started ringing, snapping you out of your daydream. Frowning, you recognized the name as the one of your colleague which you had referred Arthur to, and you flopped down on the loveseat with your arms wrapped protectively around the cushion, like Arthur used to do before picking up.

“Hey,” the man greeted you lightly, “do you have some time? I was hoping to ask you a few questions, could be over the phone if you’re in a hurry.”

“Sure thing,” you agreed promptly, “I’m between breaks now, but I can talk. What’s the matter?”

“It’s about the patient you’ve referred me to, some…,” he paused for a moment, as if reading a file, “Arthur Morgan, I believe.”

Your throat tightened and you felt the cold pinpricks of needles at the back of your neck. “Yes, Arthur. What do you need to know, then?”

“I was just wondering if he had the habit of skipping sessions,” your heart dropped at it, “it’s been a month now and he hasn’t showed up for about… six sessions I think, with the reschedules of course.”

“He never skipped with me,” you said in a levelled voice, devoid of any emotion, “maybe he’s having a hard time readjusting with the change?”

“Yeah,” he agreed, “I called the referral contact, his father I believe? Hosea Matthews?”

“Yes, yes, Mr. Matthews,” you agreed.

“Well, I called and he said he couldn’t convince Arthur to finish the remaining time in therapy. The patient seems reluctant, apparently, he says that he doesn’t need it anymore and I grew worried because according to the information you passed me along—“

Your mind zoomed out, the words falling on deafened ears. Fuck.

What would be of Arthur now, with an incomplete treatment? What if you had left him scarred for life, breaking his trust like that, without so much as a warning? Your stomach twisted painfully at the memory of the kiss, the growing anxiety creeping around you and seeping into your bones.

All because you were too scared to access your feelings, choosing to play on the safer side and pushing him away. There were ways to make it work, you knew — loopholes and technicalities —, but you clamped up at the prospect of letting him get any closer. You felt your eyes burn with the warmth of unshed tears, reaching for the tissue paper to keep your emotions from ruining the light makeup of the day.

Someone calling your name snapped you out of your haze.

“Are you still there?,” your colleague asked, as if expecting an answer.

“Sorry, I kinda spaced out here,” you said, fighting against the waver in your voice, “I didn’t quite catch it.”

“I asked if you could come in contact with the patient or his referral, just to be sure. I don’t think they trust me enough to handle it.”

“Sure,” you muttered out with a dry mouth, “I’ll try to reach him, do you want me to get back to you—“

“With all due honesty,” your colleague spoke softly, making you want to cry even more. Had he heard the silent despair in your voice? “I do believe that you should figure out what you really want before anything else.

Silence stretched for a few seconds before you recovered. “I don’t know—“

“I won’t tell,” he said gently, “I can vouch for that.”

You closed your eyes, allowing the tears to gather there. It wasn’t unknown to most of your profession colleagues about the nasty breakout with your ex-husband and your self-induced behavior of isolation. You took a deep breath before speaking again. “Thank you.”

You parked the car in front of an apartment complex, in a nice little residential neighborhood. The building was somewhat stocky, with only eight floors, with white and dark blue tiling. Drumming your fingers on the steering wheel, you started to fidget anxiously.

You had rushed to your desk, fingers running through patient files until you found Arthur’s — complete with contact, address and etc. With a resolute sort of conviction, you set out, asking your front desk attendant to reschedule any appointments you were to have later that day. Tucking the file below your arm, you took the car and set the GPS to the address.

Now, standing at the final destination, according to your cellphone, you looked up at the building. Coming closer to the intercom, you searched for the right name, reading the freshly scribbled “Morgan” in pen and paper, in contrast to the others, which were clean slates.

“Okay,” you pressed the button, listening to the telltale buzz of the call being ensued, “right.”

It rung until it didn’t anymore, your anxiety growing by the minute. With some sense of impatience, you pressed the button again and the faint sound started once more. You pressed your hands together, shivering at the cool wind blowing through the street. The afternoon was clear, but you had forgotten to grab your coat on your way out of the clinic and the autumn chill was exerting its power.

“Who’s it?,” came Arthur’s annoyed voice from the intercom, sounding annoyed. “Ain’t got no time—“

“Arthur,” you said his name gently and he quieted down. It was uncomfortable, you had to admit. “Arthur, I need to—“

“What do you want?,” he muttered out, sounding defensive.

“Can you buzz me in, please?,” you asked with a tight knot in your throat, “I need to see you.”

You heard him huff from the other side of the line, unbelieving. “Do ya, now?”

“I know,” you acquiesced, feeling your desperation growing by the minute, “I know, but we need to talk, please?”

He stayed quiet for a while, your heart pounding in your chest at his silence. “I’m not… sure if I want to see you, doc.”

“Arthur,” you pleaded, “I’m not here as your therapist, that’s not who I am,” your voice wavered as you pressed your hand to your lips to keep check of your own emotions. You had missed his voice so much. “I’m here as your friend, please.”

Arthur sighed and you could feel the tension rolling off him in waves. He seemed unwilling to say anything else.

“I just need to see you,” you whispered to the intercom, voice cracking at the emotion of everything, “I just— please, Arthur,” you breathed out shakily, “please.“ The gate buzzed and you startled, before pushing it open hesitantly. Your hands felt clammy despite the cold.

Gathering the little courage you had left, you walked into the building with a growing sense of dread, your heart fluttering in your chest like a caged bird. Did he really want to see you now? Arthur wouldn’t have let you in, if he didn’t want to. He wouldn’t. You felt as if your legs might give out.

There were some people walking about the hall, some chatting casually at the common area, but no one paid much mind to your presence. Fidgeting with the sleeve of your blouse as you walked towards the elevator, you turned your gaze down to your phone where the number to Arthur’s apartment appeared in the notepad — 302. Swallowing down your anxiety, you pressed the number three and watched as the doors closed.

You weren’t sure what to say to Arthur. Should you confess? Was that too cliché? You should tell him the truth, though. That’s what he deserved, after wall, the reason why you had come all this way. The elevator was taking a long way up, thankfully, and you were left to your own thoughts.

No way in hell you were ready for what was to come. There was nothing about it in the books back when you studied — and even if there were, you’d have brushed it off as some hypothetical situation that could never happen to you because you were too disciplined. A pretty little tale spun for those who were romantic at heart, but not you. You knew how to behave, or at least thought you did.

It hurt your head to think.

The elevator came to a stuttering halt, the doors hissing as it opened and you stepped out into the equally well-lit hall.

“Three o’ two…,” you muttered, rubbing your hands together as your head turned from one side to another, squinting slightly and moving towards it once you located the door.

You stood there, for maybe a few seconds, before knocking gently at the door; once, twice. There was silence from the inside, but soon enough you heard it unlock and Arthur appeared in front of you, worse than you had ever seen him. There were dark bags under his eyes, a day or two beard sprouting on his face with a greasy mess of curls on top of that. He looked tired, in a simple grey tee and some sweatpants in the middle of the summer. Far too tired. Had he just woken up?

With a tight press of your lips, you felt your eyes watering. Had you done this to him? “Arthur,” you choked out his name, raising both your hands to the lower half of your face, “I’m so sorry…”

He didn’t say anything, but you could sense the surprise in his demeanor before sighing tiredly and averting his gaze to the floor. “You never told me anythin’…”

“I know,” you cut in with a teary voice, wiping away the stubborn tears that insisted on streaking down your cheeks, “I just didn’t know what do when you— when we… I got scared that you—“

The man reached out, one calloused hand curling around your forearm in a gentle motion as you allowed yourself to be drawn in by his presence, warm and solid. Arthur made a noise at the back of his throat, something choked with emotion, when you threw yourself into his embrace, clutching to his tee with all the might you could muster up. “I was so scared, I thought it was my fault—“

Arthur shook his head slightly, staggering out a shaky breath himself. “’s okay, doc…”

“Please,” you hugged him tighter and you still could smell the sandalwood cologne on his skin, subtle but definitely there, “I never meant to…,” you trailed off, shaking your head, “I like you, Arthur. More than I probably should, but…”

“I want you to stay,” Arthur whispered suddenly and you were highly aware of your own lack of words after it. He circled your waist, fingers digging gently into your back as he took a steadying breath. “I need to know, I need to know if I can love you, so please— I don’t wanna do this if you’re not… I gotta know if you’ll stay with me. I need to.”

You pulled back from him, eyes watering and searching into his teal colored ones and this time you allowed yourself to take in just how handsome Arthur really was, as your hands cupped the sculpted marble of his face. He shuddered at it, closing his eyes and leaning forwards to press his forehead to yours with a quiet sigh of someone who’d been denied for far too long.

“Let me kiss you again,” Arthur pleaded in a whisper, calmly and too benevolent for you not make a sweet sound at the back of your throat, “please.”

You closed your eyes, taking a steadying hold of his neck. “Next time,” you whispered back, thumb caressing the sensitive skin under his eye, gently wiping away the dampness that had gathered there, “you don’t have to ask.”

He took a gentle hold of your hand, pressing his chapped lips to your palm like a caress, his demeanor sweet and reverent; and with a twinge, you realized that Arthur was far too good for his own good. “I want you to stay,” he said again, moving on to your forehead and pressing another kiss there. You shivered, tilting your face to allow him better access. “Wanna be with you,” a press of lips to the space between your eyes, “make yer happy.”

At this, you hummed lightly, breathing out shakily. Arthur cupped your face, bringing you closer to him, if that was even possible. His lips caressed your cheek and the subtle curve of your jawline before finally pressing to your own. When it came, the kiss was sweet, so frail and light you could almost believe it wasn’t happening, even if the pressure of Arthur’s hand on the base of your neck was enough proof to you. He muttered your name, trying to pull you more closely against his body, and you gave in with a sigh.

There was a shy prod of tongue against your lips and you complied promptly because oh, it just felt so right — the moment, with him, right then and there. The voice at the back of your mind quieted down immediately, its last murmurs of protests dying out in face of Arthur sweet humming. He pulled you backwards with him, into his apartment, and you pushed the door closed before he could press your back to it with a desperate little gasp.

“Stay with me,” Arthur whispered and God, consequences be damned, you wanted to. His nose brushed against yours, so intimately you could swear you were dreaming, “don’t go.”

You answered by pushing back the soft tresses of his hair, pulling away and making Arthur close his eyes with a soft complaint at the back of his throat. “I’m not going anywhere.” His breathing quickened as he pressed his head to the crook of your neck and you were somewhat amused, fond of the sweetness of the act. “I’ll stay here.”

#arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan imagines #arthur morgan #patient!arthur x therapist!reader #they finally got around #wohoo #red dead redemption #red dead redemption imagines

78 notes · View notes

prongsmydeer · 5 years

Text

Ayesha Liveblogs One Tree Hill S1

No matter how many times I watch the pilot I consistently forget that Nathan and Peyton used to date

“Don’t bother showering tonight” is that really your come-on Peyton I will never understand sports

Lmao @ Nathan and Peyton “OTP: Distracted Driving”

“You’re despicable, you know that,” said Dan, a literal future murderer

I’m always so thrown when ppl in shows start drinking at their workplaces like what kind of bold behaviour Whitey you work at a high school

“What are you wasting your time at now?” Nathan ur a terrible boyfriend

“I say that the people who pray here are wasting their time. God doesn’t watch sports” I know Lucas is pretentious as all hell but this is my favourite line in any sports show ever

Karen is such a good mom ahhhhh like she just wants Lucas to be happy and she knows he’ll put other people’s happiness first

Dan calling Lucas ‘this kid’ like he’s not his wholeass son what a dick

It’s not lost on me that Keith telling Lucas stories about his father means that it’s Lucas’s grandfather Keith Scott is truly the only dad in this show who matters

“So why’d you just tell me all that” because he loves to monologue

“If I could [change the fact that Lucas exists], I would” Dan answer your door I need to send you a very rude telegram

I am in love with Moira Kelly and also I want Karen to punch Dan

The music of this show is really.... transcendent

Djhfkjhfkjh since Lucas is implied to have like, five friends.... is that crowd of supporters hugging him just a bunch of people who think Nathan is a dick

I admire Lucas for deciding he was gonna put up with all this bullshit to do something he loves

Omg I forgot that Brooke wasn’t in the pilot she’s such a major character

“Nice hands” “Nice legs” Emo flirting in a jock setting lmaooooo

My inner 2007 angst awakens every time I hear Gavin Degraw. He is THAT bitch

“You ever think I might want to talk” Peyton and Nathan’s relationship is truly nothing but blind horniness they have nothing in common at all in this juncture of their lives

“I didn’t invite you to come in, I just asked if you wanted to” Peyton is so weird but I kind of want to marry her. Is this what Lucas feels like

Lucas’s economic status is really part of Brooke’s romance criteria at the age of 17 they teach the bourgeois early huh

Oh my god I cannot BELIEVE Jake recommended Atlas Shrugged to Lucas jhjhgjhgjh the undertones of this basketball show really are about capitalism

HAHAHAH Nathan’s word being “revenge” calm down Sasuke Uchiha

I haven’t said so yet but Haley is so very endearing she’s great

God. Lucas turning around to reveal to Dan that he’s cast away his name. HE is that bitch

Ghjkghjkgh Keith hissing at the rude Boosters mum. Love of my life

“Maybe he’s gay” “No, I think he’s just nice” who writes this dumbass show

“Do you even care that it’s slipping away” maybe it’s because I went away for university but the idea that someone is this deeply invested in their kid’s high school basketball career is. A lot

Nathan simultaneously trying to bother Lucas and pass English while about to fall in love: I can multitask!!!

Update: He also managed to trash Lucas’s favourite basketball court somehow in all his business. He really can multitask!

“If it makes you feel any better I called some woman a bitch the other day” [giggle] I love Karen and Lucas’s relationship

Haley is such a good friend to Lucas and hoo boy Nathan when do you grow a conscience

“You’re both so broody. You could brood together” that’s it, that’s Peyton and Lucas

These emails and VCR references are really dating this show

Nathan is a straight up sociopath in these early eps my god he humiliates Lucas publicly twice at this party and just pops over to Haley like “Hey cutie :) Idk why Lucas is so mad :) I’m rlly nice :)”

Nathan really taking his girlfriend’s car to hit on another woman how much of a crapbag

As soon as I said this he (drunk?) drove her car into a streetlight my god

Deb and Karen having a nice lesbian coffee shop AU would be a pleasant turn in this show instead of literally anything that happens in either of their narratives

“Why would you even go there” “Because I loved getting dumped on” That is... accurate

“I’ll call you when you’re not so PMS” said Nathan, when his (ex) girlfriend rightfully lambasted him for crashing her car

I take it back Peyton and Nathan do have one thing in common it’s their disregard for traffic laws

HELL YEAH Keith IS your dad Lucas <3 <3 <3 <3

Whitey talks a lot of shit for someone who advised Dan to abandon Luke

I had been wondering why Lucas had the Scott name when Dan is such an ephemeral piece of shit and I guess there’s my answer thanks Karen

Does Haley ever find out about the shit Nathan pulled at the party I feel like these are relevant details in her budding affection

“Dad send you to spy on me? Poison my drink?” This is the second time in two episodes Deb has been accused of being Dan’s spy I wonder if she still considers that a red flag 17 years into marriage

“One of the boys doesn’t have a father” BUUUUURN Dan

Rhkgjhgjkh the last moment of this scene:

Keith: There is enough room in my heart for each of my brother’s mistreated sons even the rude ones Nathan

Nathan, experiencing a split second of paternal love: :O

Ghkjghkjgh the Scott bonding in hatred of Dan continues with Lucas asking Nathan if he too would like to spite Dan:

Lucas: You will be receiving your “I Hate Dan Scott” Club invitation in the mail shortly Nathan, mom, Uncle Keith and I hold meetings biweekly

Nathan: Biweekly as in every two weeks or twice a week

Lucas: Both! See you on Tuesday

“Does this mean we’re dating” yes it does the mixed CD is emo code

“Good luck with your game” “yeah, you too, Ma” hehehehe

Someone revoke this college medic’s license hoo boy

Ghjghkgh Lucas keeping his money tucked into his boxers what a doofus

I can’t believe Nathan and Lucas’s second big bonding moment is threatening dudes while in their boxers after beating on each other what a brotherly bond lmao

Okay but highkey if ur a lady and ur friends are gonna leave you alone and vulnerable at night get new friends

“I can live without my shirt” Nathan is thirteen shades of petty lmaooo

Dan is such a bad (abusive) father that Nathan literally would prefer to have none at all my god

“Can I tell you a secret? I pretended too” just get marrrried

“Thanks for cutting Lucas some slack” talk about accepting the bare minimum Haley kjhgkjhgkj

Brooke is really unbearable in this episode is it any wonder her, Lucas and Peyton’s relationship is as dysfunctional as it will soon become

Hoo boy the one (1) time Nathan doesn’t do something douchey and he gets blamed for it

LMAO @ Lucas approaching the one girl at this school with commitment issues with a bold “I wanna be here [in your heart]” hahaha

“Yeah, they can have their world,” said Lucas to Haley, about the two people they would literally go on to marry

The fact that Peyton doesn’t turn off her webcam and just covers it also really speaks to the era

This Gabe dude is really ready to assault a minor like he’s not just a r*pist he’s also a predator double KO

It is not lost upon me that it looks like one pill has been popped out before so he is also a serial r*pist big fucking yikes

“What, you got a cellphone too, dawg? Things sure have changed” also quite dated hahahaha

They really went out of the way to redeem Brooke not only did she give Nathan and Haley a very very cute date she also saved her friend from being assaulted

“So you don’t have any brothers, do you” jhgkhgkhg Brooke please

“Why are you only nice to me when we’re alone” a very legitimate question Haley

Nathan’s dating methodology: There’s nothing in life that can’t be solved with make-outs

Deb is really so nice but every time I look at her I think of her drinking a lot and sleeping with Nathan’s friends lmao

Haha that North Carolina sign explains the mild Southern accents

Aieeeeeeeeeee you kiss that man and follow your dreams Karen

Even if Nathan is still A Lot this season him and Haley are so cute:

Haley, smiling: We can’t do this here right now

Nathan, giggling: We just did

Lucas says more to Dan by constantly leaving with a look of disgust than any words ever could

“My heart’s racing too. That’s what happens when I’m around you. (And on drugs. I’m very unstable Haley.)”

Lucas and Nathan’s very intentional “pressure from your dad” and “you don’t know anything about my dad” bc Lucas will not acknowledge that Senor Crabag Sr. is anything resembling a father bless

Drunk tattoos with crush’s bff Lucas has decided to make all mistakes at once and I respect it

Poor Keith he is trying his best but Lucas just chose this week to hit his rebellious phase

YESSSSSSSSSS DEB KICK THAT ASS OUT OF THIS HOUSE

“Do you really think that Nathan would choose you over me” uh???? Are you not aware you are... the worst father in town

Brooke you were fully aware of Peyton and Lucas’s vibing and actively pursued him/interfered so you have no moral high ground to be like “:) I’d never choose a boy over my friendship”

Skillz and Mouth accurate “hoo boy don’t look” when ur friends start PDA

“Mom doesn’t want things to get back to normal, she wants them to be better” hell yeah Nathan gaining emotional intelligence

Lucas quit projecting your childhood issues onto Jake he too is a child let him decide how he wants to live Jenny’s 6 months old not like she’s gonna remember lmao

Damn Nathan LET LOOSE on Dan fuck that dude

JGFHJGFJGFJH I forgot Gavin Degraw had a cameo hahahahah

Did Luke.......... break into Jake’s house. His parents work at night how was he able to get into Jake’s coffee table

“You do not have to feel like a third wheel” The pure dumbass energy.... Peyton is literally CRYING do u really think her issue is “third wheel” you KNOW she and Lucas had a thing Brooke???????

Me watching this team form a brotherly bond over their mutual love of basketball: Mayhaps sports are... good

Hahahaha Lucas threatening Peyton’s dad with a rake is weirdly endearing

“Hey you.” “Hey you, and you,” is a good summary of this seasons Brooke/Lucas/Peyton dynamic lmao

Why is Dan’s head... shaped that away. It is like a bar of soap

“I don’t mind you playing ‘Daddy’ to one of my offspring, but leave the good one alone, will you?” Dan. Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot at midnight and we’ll have words

“The whole Nice Guy thing is wearing kind of thin” foreshadowing for all the dick moves Lucas is about to pull lmao

“He’s got you skipping school now?” “Lucas talk to me when you get your tattoo removed”

Lucas:

Lucas is such a meddler lmao how many family dynamics is he going to alter

I don’t trust Dan being nice for a minute all he wants is the upper hand with Deb in the inevitable custody battle over Nathan

Props to Nathan and Haley for somehow, some way, being the only normal couple on this show despite their incredibly dubious origins lmao

Scott family dinners are bananas I count four (4) major revelations and they haven’t even revealed that Deb and Dan are separated

Lucas and Peyton are really hitting every fictional couple trope in this ep - road trip, bed sharing, hurt/comfort, truly the YA bases

“The truth? In this house?” Props to Deb for drama lmao

Brooke saying ‘I love you’ you’ve been dating for like two episodes but okay kjhgkjhg

I can’t say I understand Nathan’s logic lmao but I guess they have to bring him back to basketball sometime

Wow Lucas zero hesitation on that second kiss lmao u r a mess

This scene is the definition of “that escalated quickly” they go straight to undressing

HAHAHAH NATHAN BEING SHIRTLESS IN HALEY’S DREAM FOR NO REASON 10/10 TEENAGE ACCURACY

“How do you explain being with me and not her?” “Because with you, I saw a future” that’s Dan code for ‘I’m a gold digger’

You’re literally macking on Peyton in the middle of the hallway while you’re dating the other most popular girl in school Lucas how are you this ridiculous and bold BREAK UP WITH BROOKE U DUMBASS

“So what are we going to do” I’ll tell you what you should do BREAK UP WITH BROOKE

Keith it is still daylight out stop bringing alcohol into this high school you have a drinking problem

“Can’t control love, you know?” THAT’S NOT ADVICE LUCAS BREAK UP WITH BROOKE

I really can’t handle watching Keith and Lucas self-destruct this episode how is Nathan the only Scott in a happy, healthy relationship

“You know that this is... wrong, so that makes it feel... deeper?” Lucas asks, as if he were not entirely in the wrong by carrying on with Peyton (who is not in a relationship) while dating Brooke

“I don’t want to hurt Brooke,” he said, about to start his third secret cheating makeout session of the week

“But then again our spouses aren’t here are they” [Deb opens door] COMEDIC TIMING

Gjjhgkjhg Nathan revealing his messed up intentions with Haley entirely by accident Scotts have no self-control whatsoever it’s their kekkei genkai

Lucas evading responsibility for his romance crimes by literally dying

Hahahah Karen’s confused vibes at Brooke are kind of the highlight of this episode

How funny would it be if Lucas woke up to Karen scolding him about his tattoo

Hahahaha for such dysfunctional partners Nathan and Peyton are excellent exes

AHHHHHHHHH LUCAS WAKING UP TO HIS BROTHER... MY HEART

Keith rlly was gonna propose after zero (0) days of dating I’m telling you no self-control is truly the Scott clan kekkei genkai

Ahhhh bless Karen’s compassion

Dan is literally blackmailing his son into staying in his custody he is in Deb’s words an “abusive son of a bitch”

Fucking finally Lucas ends this sham of a relationship with Brooke

It’s wild that Nathan is the only Scott with a happy and healthy romantic relationship

Nathan divorcing his parents is a real power move

I’m glad Haley announced Sheryl Crow’s name because let me tell you I would not have recognized her on sight

“How’s my daughter” Lucas really chooses exclusively to hook up with people who have devastating emotional consequences for his immediate friend group huh

“Funny I didn’t know you were forgiving at all” Lmao Peyton is that really the position you’re going to take after cheating with your best friend’s boyfriend

All the deodorant product placement lmao ‘this ep sponsored by Secret’

All things considered I think Lucas is handling Haley’s constant ditching p well

Bfhkghghjg Keith buying a new shirt just to go to dinner with Karen stop

OH MY GOD THE EP REALLY WAS SPONSORED BY SECRET IT’S GOT SECRET ON THE CHEER COMPETITION BANNERS AND A LITTLE GIFT BAG RANDOMLY IN ALL THE CHEERLEADER CONFRONTATIONS JKGHKJGH

The comedic timing of “hungover idiots” panning to Karen and Larry kills me

“She used to be this totally original.... Haley” what does this mean????

I don’t think Nathan and Haley are being entirely fair to Lucas bc he was only a dick once she ditched him twice (or thrice?) in one weekend

This boy toy auction as a concept is so inappropriate on so many levels

“I get Nathan for free” Fhjkfhkfjh Haley pls

God I was so very concerned about whether or not Nathan and Peyton were gonna kiss

“You’re not a mess, you’re just in love” [Ole Del Paso Girl voice] Why not both?

“She’s nine months old, just in case you forgot” to be fair I assume Nikki gave birth so she would remember that you can’t hold that one over her

It must take Lucas some mental disconnect to assume Peyton and Nathan are cheating when he also kissed Haley

Fhjfhkjfhjfh Keith fulfilling my fave trope of ‘we are not even dating but how about we get married bc we’ve been repressed in love for years’

“You know I asked your mom to get an abortion,” said Dan, to his literal son

I really can’t figure where this pregnancy storyline is going bc I know Brooke doesn’t have a baby

Nathan and Haley really need to consider oral or smth there’s a middle ground between making out and having vaginal sex

“It all hurts just the same” Brooke really out here trying to say that cheating is in any way equivalent to faking a pregnancy (even if only for a week)

Peyton and Brooke are way more invested in each other than Lucas

“I got you a high five” Hahahhaa I love Peyton

Gary like: Wow Nathan it’s humanizing that your father is an abusive dick

“Maybe this is the one that changed him” Lucas joining Dan as the second and only non-Dan member of the Dan Scott Apologism Club

It’s wholly unreasonable that Haley expects her boyfriend not to look at p*rn lmao

I love all this Lucas and Nathan bonding but I hate that it comes at the cost of Dan being near them at all u stay away from those boys u manipulative fuck

Ah the foreshadowing about Peyton changing in front of her webcam finally pays off

I’m no legal expert but I don’t think that taking your daughter out of state will help you in the custody battle in the long term Jake - nor will dropping out of high school

“What do I get out of it” r u 4 real Keith u dont get payment for loving your family

“I’m leaving because I can’t look at you anymore without my heart breaking” I like you Keith but that sounds like a You Problem

This is a fun way to shoot this episode One Tree Hill has such good directing tbh

Nathan discarding the Scott name from his jersey just like Lucas did in ep 2:

Haley: Having sex will solve all of my problems Nathan what are you talking about

I remembered that at some point Deb and Keith have sex and I’m glad they fuck things up early bc I could not deal if it was later on

“I’ll miss you too, little brother” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

KJKGHKJHGJHKJHGKJHKJ I CAN’T BELIEVE NATHAN AND HALEY GOT MARRIED JUST TO HAVE SEX THIS IS WHY THEY DON’T LET PEOPLE YOUNGER THAN 18 VOTE

#ayesha says things #ayesha liveblogs oth #liveblogging #long post #a very long post lmao #one tree hill #this is the kind of content i make now lol

14 notes · View notes

lvcifvr · 5 years

Note

Lol, I it was a mistake to reblog that, DO ALL THE EVENS!

you got me there orz

ALRIGHT

putting it under a readmore ‘cause this shit be long

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

yes i do, it makes me feel alive - as if electricity is running through my veins

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

coffee - black with a decent amount of sugar; tea - black with a decent amount of sugar

6: do you keep plants?

i do not but i would like to, especially succulents

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

writing mostly

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

side mostly

12: what’s your favorite planet?

pluto!

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

a mix of industrial and traditional with lots of plants, art, comfortable furniture, gaming setups, a huge kitchen, etc.

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

cold pasta salad with the multi-colored noodles, black olives, etc.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

what friends lol nah but like, i don’t have friends now that i’ve had for a long time so there’s nothing to tell

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

hazel, grey, brown

22: are you a morning person?

it depends

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

yeah

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

just my regular sneakers - i need new insoles for them lmao

28: sunrise or sunset?

sunset

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

yes - i have ptsd from it lmao

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

again…

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

my gran gave me a dark brown, almost black teddy bear for christmas when i was 15. his name is mebby. i still sleep with it every night lmao.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

uhhh probably… sleeping at last?

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

willful ignorance, rude customers at my job, people not using their freaking blinkers

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

i only really wear one piece of jewelry - it’s virgil’s necklace lmao and its meaning is that i am literally virgil and thomas’ portrayal of him and how he’s treated and then how things change for him and stuff just really resonated with me, so yeah.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

lol no

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

never

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

heck.. uhh…

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

i don’t really remember my childhood so idk and probably not lmao

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

temporary tattoos? i have over 250

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

uhhhhh idk lmao sanders sides memes in general i guess

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

my mom

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

heartfelt laughs that can be goofy sometimes; gigglesnorting for sure

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

i’m the vodka aunt probably, idk who the wine mom is

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

yes but i don’t actively read it? so idk

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

rarely but apple juice

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

black ‘cause it’s nearly 2 am

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

those small multi-colored wildflowers that you find on the side of highways in the middle of nowhere

68: what’s winter like where you live?

it’s on and off. sometimes it is warm / doesn’t snow / doesn’t change pretty much and sometimes we have a ton of snow and it is freezing

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

i used to own one and yes

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

ye lmao

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

they are adorable and a great hugger, very openminded and accepting and supportive

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

replying to the rp but i’m finishing this first rq

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

hate

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

burnt orange bc it was my uncle’s room before he moved out and he was a nascar fan z

82: are/were you good in school?

i was the Gifted Kid TM that ended up nearly failing lmao

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

i already have two - the trans symbol on the inside of my left wrist and a fox on the inside of my right forearm. i’m not sure about getting more but probably.

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

i am indifferent mostly

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

surrealism

90: talk about your one of your favorite cities.

i haven’t been anywhere so

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

in the middle???

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

sara, i legit went to her b-day party earlier lmao

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

procrastinate lmao

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

never

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

the past because i have regerts

and done finally

#yellowsky2314 #Inbox

4 notes · View notes

lcsbicas · 5 years

Text

[ kaya scodelario, twenty-seven, cis female, she/her ] ━ hey, I just saw [ willow mendes ] walking down the streets of crownsville. they’ve lived in town for [ six months ], and you can catch them around town working as a [ tattoo artist ]. I hear they’re known to be [ courageous & kind hearted ] and [ secretive & self deprecating ]. if asked, they would say their aesthetic would be [ coffee stains, sea salty hair, intricate dotwork tattoos, restless hands, smudged eyeliner, lipstick on a plastic fork, paint ridden fingertips, whispered secrets, and beaming smiles ].

in the wise words of our lord & saviour, kuzco... boom baby ! guess who’s back ! 6+ months later than planned ! me ! so, hi ! i’m m ! you may remember me from such roles as, believe it or not, this ol’ worm if you’ve been around a hot minute ( but with a different name ! there’s already a hazel so i switched it to her alt whoops ! ) and from helping v out on the main a few weeks ago ( mena massoud ? mena massoud ! ) if you’re new-er ! i was here Before from the Beginning for like... ages, and then a lot of personal shit cropped up and i had to Yeet but guess who’s back,,, back again,,, me !

so lowkey coming back was like,, an impulsive thing,, lmao. like, i’d planned to sort some shit out and then come back in a couple of weeks and then that did Not work out, but then i was tempted on and off for months, and then babysitting the main for v again made me so much more tempted and then v was the best influence and here i am ! i went back and forth with characters and faces and things, and was tempted by loads of the wc’s ( y’all are creative as shit ! there’s so much good stuff on there omg ! ) and idk me and v were talking about it and,, i couldn’t help it, so i brought ma girl back. revamped a little, and taking her back to her Roots and when i originally played her like ,,, two years ago or something #Wild like that, so have some bullet points about this absolute goblin !

trigger warnings: alcoholism, death.

( also quickly before i go into shit, i’m gonna be a little spotty for a few days but by like,, wednesday i should be Here, Queer, and ready to Partie. however, wills’ bio and stats and shit needs updating name wise and idk if after getting this up i’ll have time, so if you could just bare with me, that’d be greatly appreciated )

oh god okay this is gonna be a mess

but first off: girlie has stats !! tasty !!

she was born in crownsville to two young but loving parents, who hadn’t exactly planned for her but were willing to devote their lives to her once she arrived. for the first few years of her life, everything was perfect, and her parents got by no matter what challenges life threw at them, as at least they always had eachother and their little girl.

everything was hunky dory ( or, it was from willow’s child-pov ) until willow was eight, when her dad died unexpectedly. after that, her mother was never the same, and she struggled to raise wills alone. willow did her best to make their lives as decent as possible, but it wasn’t easy, and her mother certainly didn’t help that.

she stayed in crownsville until the age of eighteen. she eventually went off to new york after she had a pretty, uh, Eventful year ( it’s kind of A Lot and i don’t really wanna go into it too Deep here but i have a full bio for her if you want it ! all the trigger warnings are clearly labelled ) but first, after battling an increasingly severe drinking problem for a few years, at eighteen she went to atlanta to get sober and sort her life out a little. once she did, she took an apprenticeship opportunity in new york and headed out there to start Afresh ( maybe moving to an entirely different state while freshly sober wasn’t a good idea but listen...........that’s the way she rolls, baby )

she loved ny, and did all the Struggling Artist shite while trying to #FindHerself, and got herself a tiny matchbox of an apartment to Thrive in. she started over, grateful for the opportunity to have a second chance at life now her perspective had been shifted, and get the fuck on with her life.

so before she moved back in january, she hadn’t lived in crownsvillle since she was eighteen, and although she claims she came back ‘because of work’ that actually translates, in willow, to ‘because i missed it’

she got what she needed from new york after living there for five years, and another change was necessary. however, she didn’t want to keep running, and hopping from place to place and state to state every time something bad happened, as her parents were ‘free spirits’ and floated around to wherever the wind blew them until willow came into their lives, and she really doesn’t want to become either of them, so when her boss at her tattoo parlour in new york mentioned something about wanting to open another shop ( ‘maybe boston, or atlanta...’ ) willow, after just getting out of a Less Than Loving relationship, suggested a lil’ place just outside of atlanta that y’all may have heard of, and offered to keep an eye on the place. so she packed up her shit and moved back home, completely unrecognisable from the mess that left all those years ago, and she now lives in the apartment above the shop ! she hates it !! but she lives there nonetheless !! with her two beloved goldfish, ernie and bert !!

after her last relationship ( f i n a l l y ) came to an end, and a few years of confusion and inaccurate labels, she ( F I N A L L Y !! ) accepted that she’s a flaming lesbian and started identifying as such. after coming back to crownsville she might’ve been a little hesitant to reveal that information to anybody who knew her before, just because she felt like it might be a bit of a Shock considering the shit she used to get up to when she was last in town ( as a teen, she was dealing with enough already and wouldn’t even let herself think it; in her eyes, the last thing she needed was an identity crisis piled on top of everything else ) but now it’s been a little while it’s more well Known. new people in her life, though, are faaaar more likely to be in the know, it ain’t no secret. plus she can be a bit of a hoe so like.............. the fellow wlw in town also probably know lmao

her life has made her a little bit Messy as a person, but she’ll be a complete dumpster fire while giving you a smile and doing her dang best. she adores her job ( and is, if i may say, pretty dang good at it. she trained up & became a fully qualified tattoo artist, specialising in dotwork, while in new york ) and she’s also pretty dang good at the people side of her job, too & and she’s trying her best to be a good person. like,,, she’s done some shit she’s not proud of that make her think she’s a bad person, so she’s like Actively Trying to be a better person despite the fact that she’s lowkey got a heart of gold. her morals are just a lil askew, y’know ? she’s Trying

honestly i never know what to say in intros lmao, especially with wills since i’ve written so many for her, but if you want more info feel free to read other intros i’ve whipped up for her before: boop, boop, & boop.

so i can settle back into playin willy and being back, i’m gonna say willow’s been away for a couple of weeks and only recently Come Back within the last couple of days or something like that ??

also some shit about me to finish: honestly, i love small/medium gifs. i know, i’m awful. but for the Aesthetic and so things match i usually use gif icons ?? but tbh if you use bigger gifs, i’ll whack mine out happily. but i also love rp icons and have a bunch of ‘em that i love to use so you’ll see those Bad Boiz too. i also use small text but feel free to make it bigger when you reply if that’s the way the good lord made ya, i don’t mind in the slightest. i’m not the plottiest of people tbh ( or like,, pre-plotting ? ) so tbh u don’t have to message me to plot just bc u feel obliged to, but if you have ideas feel free to hmu ! i will, ofc, do the same ! and if a thread gets going and ideas spark, i’m all for that !!

#crownsvilleintro #✧﹡﹕･ﾟ✫ 🇭🇴🇼 🇬🇴🇩🇩🇦🇲🇳 🇭🇦🇵🇵🇾 🇮 🇦🇲 — ﹙ ooc.﹚#✧﹡﹕･ﾟ✫ 🇫🇪🇪🇱🇸 🇹🇴🇴 🇲🇺🇨🇭 🇦🇳🇩 🇫🇮🇳🇩🇸 🇮🇹 🇺🇸🇺🇦🇱🇱🇾 🇭🇺🇷🇹🇸 — ﹙about.﹚#remember when i could write eloquent intros that actually give a decent insight to a character? me either

5 notes · View notes

diveronarpg · 5 years

Photo

Congratulations, MINNIE! You’ve been accepted for the role of MIRANDA. Admin Kaitlin: Oh Minnie. God knows that I love Maeve, but you bring something to her that even I don't think I love her enough to ever understand how to put to paper. She is just... god the way you write her makes me want to say that is is made of pure light, that she has a soul that glows so brightly you could see it from the moon--but she is so much more than her goodness, so much more than her heart. You write a Maeve that is fierce in her softness, courageous in her love, and is so brutally herself that it just breaks my heart. I am so glad to have you back writing her. Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

Out of Character

Alias | Minnie

Age | 23… ugh I hate that I’m 23

Preferred Pronouns | she/her

Activity Level | I’ve been pretty active so far on Paola, and I hope to continue being so :) I usually do replies when I need a mental break from work or in general at home, and it’s been working out very well for me. I would give myself a 7/10.

Timezone | EST

Current/Past RP Accounts | I really don’t think that’s necessary at this point hehe

In Character

Character | Miranda.

What drew you to this character? | I’m here for a third try!! I love, adore, Maeve, she’s so sacred to me and I’ve tried to leave her alone but.. I miss her!! It’s still that pure goodness and undeniable strength that calls to me now, just like it did before. She has so much potential and she lives so far off the ground that her head is in the clouds. It’s easier to touch God this way — but it’s also much farther to fall. I just love her you guys know how much I love her idk how not to love her, she’s a part of me at this point.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? |

I never did get to write Maeve learning how her mother died, and I’m adamant about making it happen this time. Last time, I made Montagues the source of Maeve’s mother’s death - but I think this time, I’d like to make it the Capulets who intentionally manipulated the situation to recruit Philip into their ranks. I’d like her to try, so damn hard, to be accepted by the Capulets to please her father and to save them all… only to learn that they were the ones to destroy her and her family first, that she owes them nothing but revenge. Oh man, I’m getting goosebumps just thinking about it.

I’d also like to see Maeve intentionally dismantle Montague/Capulet animosity - or rather, try to. She has such! a soft! heart! and it is undeniably hard to not love Maeve, so I have no doubt that this is exactly what will happen. I’d like to see her become a Joan of Arc again, a martyr for the sake of love, willingly throwing herself into the fray to protect one and to protect all. I’d like to see it go to shit, of course - but I’m hoping that first, Maeve will be disillusioned by the Capulets already and considering going rogue, running away from Verona, etc.

With Maeve being so lovable and also fucking stubborn, I imagine she has quite a bit of information under her belt. I’d like to see someone use her for her information, information that she may not even realize is valuable - Juliana’s favorite color, her father’s weapon of choice, etc. I’d like to see her be manipulated because I think it’s incredibly realistic, and she can appear to be an easy target — though of course, they’d be wrong. Maeve has a certain way of getting under someone’s skin, whether it be through her goodness or her kindness or her surprising ferocity.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | I KILLED HER ONCE AND IDK IF I CAN DO IT AGAIN but we’ll see. :)

In Depth

Please choose between the interview or the para sample (or both, if you like!)

In-Character Interview: The following questions must be answered in-character, and in para form (quotations, actions written out if applicable, etc). There is no minimum or maximum limit for your response - simply answer as you would if you were playing the character.

What is your favorite place in Verona? |

“Oh, there are so many.” Maeve folds her legs against her chest, resting her chin atop her knees and smiling like she has been offered a present. With the light falling in from the window behind her and her curls surrounding her face like a halo, she looks younger than her nineteen years. Far younger - but there is a knowing look in her eye that stands the test of time, makes them question their assumption of her age.

“Okay, I’ll tell you my favorite place, but you can’t tell anyone.” She leans in conspiratorially, nearly falling off her seat as she did, “it’s Verona’s hidden gem, I swear.”

Maeve waits for their promise before continuing. “There is a small local market on the outskirts of Verona, just at the city’s edge. It only sells secondhand goods, but that’s the best part of it - everything sold has already been loved, and buying things there feels like letting another person into your life. You know?”

They shrug their shoulders, not able to understand her fascination with used junk. Maeve’s smile does not dim, actually glows brighter still; she’s used to not being understood, and she knows how to take discouragement in her hands and mold it into something kind and gentle. “It’s like, everything there has such history behind it. And when you take something like that, something that’s kind of old but so precious that the owner can’t bear to throw it away… it’s like you’re keeping that love alive. And the best way to honor love is to keep loving, even when it’s hard. Even when it’s a little rusty or needs to a good thunk before it turns on.”

She shrugs and presses her cheek against her knees, looking up at them sideways through her lashes. “Do you get it now?”

They swallow, and slowly nod. Yes, they do.

What does your typical day look like?

“With a really annoying alarm,” Maeve laughs. “And then I try to stay in bed for a little bit longer, but if I take too long, Papa will leave without breakfast, and we can’t have that.” Well-fed men are alert, she remembers learning, and the hungry die first. “I always start by making breakfast fresh for the both of us, and if I can, I meal prep for the next two meals, too. It’s a nice and slow start to my day, and I’m always grateful for a chance to take my time and enjoy every small moment.”

Her head cants to the side as she ruminates on the rest of her day. Her mornings are the most consistent part of her day, the most cherished hour as the light trickles into the Petre home and Verona waits for Maeve to enter its embrace. “After that, I go to work at the flower shop if I have a shift that day. Sometimes, I go to the library and read everything I can. Or go to the coffee shop and people watch for awhile. It really depends!“

They quirk an eyebrow. “What about school?”

Maeve hesitates, eyes shifting from left to right to make sure her Papa is not around. “Someone has to stay home and take care of the house,” she says once she’s confident they are alone. “I could have gone to university, and I was really excited to go for a long time, but…” She sighs, dreamy and sad. “There are more important things, and I am still learning so much now without being in school. The world can wait for me. My Papa, though - he needs me.”

Her lips lift to a small and secret smile. “More than he knows.”

What has been your biggest mistake thus far?

She remembers her Papa coming home, his shadow sinister in the moonlight and the blood staining his hands and his cheek. She remembers swallowing her fear and asking, quietly and plainly, what he was out doing. If she will let herself, Maeve knows she can feel the same drop in her stomach and the sudden, violent urge to vomit at his feet.

She remembers marching up to the Capulets and demanding recruitment. “Enlist me,” she remembers saying, “and I will be the most valuable person in your army.”

She remembers the glint in their eye, an old friend of her father’s and surely a pawn in the Capulets’ game. “You have no experience with violence, weapons or warfare. You’ve been kept in the dark your entire life, and you think you offer value?”

“Yes."

She remembers their approving hum. She remembers the quick and rapid process of becoming a Capulet as her Papa watched, horror in his eyes. She remembers being proud of herself.

No, joining the Capulets is not the mistake Maeve is thinking of.

“My biggest mistake has been letting the world make decisions without me. My entire life, I’ve loved Verona more than anyone - and never once did I ask the right questions. I thought I knew my Papa, thought I knew Verona.. For so long, I lived… I lived a lie. Because I never tried to see what was right in front of me.”

Her fingers are shaking, Maeve realizes with a start. She folds them together and wills them to stop trembling. “It won’t happen again.”

What has been the most difficult task asked of you?

“When I told my Papa I planned to join him in the Capulets, he was furious.” Maeve fiddles with the ring on her right ring finger, a dainty thin gold band with a single diamond in the center. Her mother’s engagement ring, and her most prized possession - and often the first sign of her emotional turmoil. “It was the first real fight we had,” she reminisces out loud, “and he insisted I take it back.”

Her lips twist regretfully as she recalls how ugly their words had gotten. “He asked me to be my mother’s daughter - not his. He told me I was meant to be a flower only, his little girl… and I was.” Her voice cracked. “I am."

Maeve clears her throat quietly and takes a second to gather her composure. When she speaks again, it’s with undeniable conviction and passion: “I cannot be less than who I am, and I will be the one to decide who exactly that is. And right now,” she smiles, “I am a Capulet.”

What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues?

“Haven’t you heard?” Her eyes are sparkling, as if they are sharing some private joke. “I’m the poster child for anti-war.”

But the joke is short-lived, and before they get the chance to smile along, Maeve’s expression sobers and the atmosphere of the room changes. "It’s a never-ending circle, and it is destroying us. We’re sacrificing everything that truly matters: the people we love, the city we live in, ourselves. And for what? Revenge?”

She bites her lip, unmistakeable distressed. “I won’t fight in this war. I know I’m young, and I know I’m just a soldier — but I will be stronger than my Papa. Where he was weak, I will be strong for the both of us.“ She pauses, and then — "For my Mama, too.”

Maeve smiles kindly, knowing the reaction her speeches usually receive. If she believed any less, then she might even be sorry — but her ideals are too important, and she will be damned if she even considers apologizing for them. “I know that this might be hard to understand. We have lived like this for so long, maybe even without realizing it. But I do believe there is hope. For Verona, for all of us. There is a brighter day coming; I just know it.”

In-Character Para Sample: Again, write as much or as little as you need to get your interpretation across.

“Papà, you must remember. Please, tell me you remember,” Maeve begs, her hands clasped together like a child’s prayer.

Her eyes are just like her mother’s. The thought comes unbidden before Philip can close his heart against it. The memory of his first love, staring up at him with eyes as warm as the earth, with all the feeling in the world — it is crippling and heartbreaking and all too much. His heart falters at the reality of her death as he remembers and relives it, over and over again.

She is just like you, Maria.

He takes another hearty swig from his glass, avoiding his daughter’s gaze like she is the angel of death.

“Papà,” Maeve says again, her voice a low whisper. “Papà, please.”

How can a girl so young move his heart so? His own flesh and blood, and he is too afraid to look at her for fear that he won’t be able to breathe.

Another swig.

“Oh, Papà.” Before he can close his arms and resist a child’s love, his daughter is climbing onto him, curling in his lap and pressing her ear against his chest. “I forget, sometimes.”

She is searching for my heart. The poor creature. She won’t find it. My heart is gone, it is torn into pieces and all that is left is something cold and silver.

“I forget that you must miss her, too.”

The cup falls to the floor, and Maeve flinches in his arms at the crash of it — but still, she holds on tight.

He answers her unspoken question gruffly, his throat raw and blistered: “Yes. Yes, I do.”

“I miss her, too. But… Papà?”

“What, stella mia?”

“I miss you, more.”

And this is the final crack in his chest; and the river is opened up to him; and silent, steady tears begin to fall.

“We don’t have to talk about Mamma. It’s okay. It’s just you and me now.” A hand holds his cheek like a ghost used to, in another life.

But that was the past, and this is the present, and the future is in his arms trying to save him from the darkness he carries, the darkness she is too young to understand. He knows it is Maria’s influence; such light could only come from Maeve’s mother, for Maria was the sun that carried the weight of his entire sky.

He will not fail Maria, and he cannot fail Maeve. He will pour his heart and soul and mind unto Maeve until he can hardly recognize himself, and he will hide his burdens from Maeve so she will never look like him.

Maria. Maeve. Maria. Maeve.

“How I love you, stella mia.” With newfound courage and determination, Philip holds her close. “How I love you.”

“Oh, Papà. I love you, too.

* Maria: meaning “sea of bitterness” or “sea of sorrow”; “rebellion” “wished-for child” and “mistress or lady of the sea”

II. a diary entry

A long time ago, I was afraid of the night. I can’t tell you how or when it began, but I have carried this childish fear with me for too many years to count. I thought it was a part of me, just another piece of the puzzle that had no origin and no explanation. There was so much that I did not understand: my father, my mother, the world I so longed to see.

But one day, I thought. One day, I might understand it all.

A long time ago, I was afraid of the night, but I loved it, too. When the sun had set and the light had all but faded, the sound of the one you love coming home would ring out like church bells on a spring morning; the smell of cigarettes would hold tightly to the air like an embrace after a long, weary voyage.

For the night brought many terrors, but it had some comforts, too; didn’t all nightmares end with the whispered comforts of I am here, stella mia, I am here and the day will come and the monsters are only bad thoughts who have overstayed their welcome?

A long time ago.

A long time ago, I only thought of my father returning; I did not know and did not even think to question where he was returning from.

I shall never forget the emptiness of his eyes. I shall never forget the tired droop of his shoulders, the black silhouette of his that seemed so familiar at night. I shall never forget the silver in his hair, which I had not seen before until the moonlight brought its cruel light to every secret I had not considered.

I tried, very hard, to forget the red. I chose to remember the rest, the cold silver and black and blue of it all — but the red, I desperately tried to forget. But I could not let go of the scarlet, as hard as I tried.

I… had a reason for staying up waiting, for running to see him. I can’t remember it now, but — there was a reason.

Ah, I remember. I wanted to read him a poem.

I was a child.

He did not say a single word that night. He shook his head, ever so slightly, and walked away.

Papà. Beloved Papà.

The burden of knowing and still not fully understanding has haunted me since. For even after seeing him in the silver and black and blue and red, Papà merely patted my cheek and sent me on my flowery way. I felt so small, so strange, as if I could hardly recognize myself.

He told me that when I was older, I would understand. I wanted to tell him that I have been waiting my entire life to understand. Even as a child, I so yearned to know about the mother I didn’t remember, and I never received an answer. It pained Papà to hear talk of her, and it pained me to see him weep. So I stopped, but I always wondered, and I always dreamed of a woman’s soft hands and laughing eyes.

I never told him this… and maybe if his secret had been softer, forgiveness would have come so easily. I can empathize with shielding the one you love from pain.

But not like this. Not like Papà did. It wasn’t just his secrecy that wounded me deep to the bone; it was the secret itself. I would never have imagined Papà, who was my entire sun and sky, to be… like that.

It wasn’t just the fact that I didn’t know everything about him. It was that when he came home in scarlet, I didn’t recognize him at all. It was that I loved him still, even with my shattered heart.

I have made peace with this. It might seem strange to you that I can say with full confidence that I have forgiven Papà and that I still love him as my own sun and sky, after writing all of this. But I have. My love for him is stronger than any betrayal, and even that night cannot steal that from us.

These thoughts are so much louder these days because tomorrow, I will be a Capulet soldier. I am older now, just like Papà said, and I must know why Papà ran to their shadows all those years ago. For I have come to the conclusion that to love someone is to know them.

Tomorrow, I will know. Tomorrow, I will begin to understand.

Or so I hope.

III.

Each night, Maeve held her bleeding heart in hand and tucked it under her arm to keep it warm while the wind howled with despair. Be still, my heart; the sun will rise again, and the war will be ours to win.

Because it was a war, though not the one the Capulets enlisted her for. No matter what they told her, Maeve would choose her own battles, and she was determined to fight for peace until it was Verona’s triumph — for she had no other choice, for the only alternative was to lose her father and her home to blood and guns.

From the shadows, a man appeared: her target. Her mission was to retrieve the full payment for an order placed exactly one month ago. He was a new, and so far unreliable, client, and therefore needed extra… encouragement to pay the Capulets in full.

The job fell to Miranda, who had never run a solo mission before. Though she might be green, she was confident; she had impressed the others with her sheer will, if not her skill with the knife. They might not take her seriously yet, but they would, for Maeve was determined to make her voice heard.

“They tell me you’re called Miranda,” the man said.

“Yes,” was her simple answer, short and straightforward.

The street lights illuminated the cruel crook of his lips, the sharp slant of his brows. “They also tell me that you are here for my money.” He was sneering at her, his lips curled in a resentful snarl.

Maeve stepped forward, the softness of her eyes coming to view. “That’s true.”

At the sight of her pretty face, the man’s expression shifted to one of surprise. “They sent a pretty girl like you,” he moved closer, “alone in the middle of the night?”

“Is that so strange?” She adjusted her grip on the knife hidden in a sheath inside her sleeve.

“Not strange,” the man shook his head, “dangerous.”

“Dangerous?” Maeve offered a kind smile as she continued to adjust her fingers on her knife’s grip, wondering — if she needed to bring it forward. If her knife was worth using at all. “I appreciate the concern, but I think you know that we don’t send soldiers into battle unprepared.”

“What battle is there, girl?” His laugh was unexpected and rang false in the night, too jaded to be true. “You think I don’t have the money? You think I won’t pay?”

“I don’t think anything. I’m here on orders, and orders alone, to retrieve the payment in full for the last transaction between you and the Capulets.”

He spat onto the ground and thrust his hands into the pockets of his pants, staring off into the night sky. “It’s all about money with you folks.”

“Not all of us — but you did make a promise, sir, and you must honor it. It is the gentlemanly thing to do.”

The man fell silent for a moment, and when he spoke, it was with the barest hint of vulnerability. “So you think I’m a gentleman, huh?”

“I assume most men are gentlemen until they prove otherwise,” Maeve said gently.

Her compassion seemed to ease the man out of appearances and reveal his true nature; a look of panic came over his features, wild and dangerous. “What if I told you I didn’t have the money?” A tremble shook through every word, and his eyes seemed to widen by the moment. “What would they do to me, then?”

She wanted desperately to reassure him, to tell them that she was only a soldier, new and inexperienced and unknowledgeable. But it was not that Maeve did not know; it was that she did not agree. For how could Maeve threaten (or worse) a man who, in that moment, seemed so human.

“I… don’t think you want to know,” she finally answered, sympathy passing over her features.

The man groaned and threw his hands in the air. “I had the money, I swear I had it. But then that bastard got me drunk and the women were so pretty…”

The tale of a proud man, who wanted nothing more than to prove himself. Maeve sighed and loosened her grip on her knife. There would be heavy consequences to bear for her next words, but there was nothing else she could do. For her heart was soft and could not bear to harm another. “I will do my best to grant you an extension.”

The man breathed out a long sigh of relief, wrapping his arms about his torso tightly like a congratulatory embrace. “Thank you, thank you. You are kind, Miranda, kinder than I deserve. Tell them that I will have it immediately, I only need a little more time. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

“Please,” Maeve only let a hint of desperation show in her tone, “don’t do this again. The next time, you will not be forgiven so easily.” With a nod and a faint smile, she turned and walked away from the now-incoherent man.

She would pay for this later — but nothing worth having came without a price.

Extras: If you have anything else you’d like to include (further headcanons, an inspo tag, a mock blog, etc), feel free to share it here! This is OPTIONAL.

I kept a few headcanons from the old app I thought still applied:

Knives. When Philip first handed her a 9mm Glock 17, Maeve’s hands shook as she forced her fingers to wrap around the grip. He put his hands on her shoulders and methodically explained just how to use a weapon, and when he stepped back, she knew it was not in her. She turned to her father with silent tears already staining her cheeks and pushed the weapon back into his hands. Papà, a gun is for killing, she said gently, and I am not a killer.

But to be a Capulet was to wield a weapon like a musical instrument, a paintbrush, a masterpiece; so Maeve chose the knife, for at least it was more than just violence. Just like her, a knife could be both sharp and soft, it could be used for bad and good. It all depended on her choice, and Maeve knew that she would always choose good.

Part-time job. Maeve works at a local flower shop in Verona, making conversation with the regulars and reading a book when the shop is slow. It’s a nice way to pass the hours, and she’s been there for so many years that it’s become a second home.

#accepted #accepted: miranda

3 notes · View notes

spring-emerald · 7 years

Note

Please do another Haikyuu Idols au but this time with all the setters 🙏

Haikyuu Setters Idol!AU

I’m sorry it took solong. I didn’t know that the setters would give me difficulty imagining them asan idol group. (Also because you said all… OTL.) BUT HERE IT IS!!!! ( I included members who are setters but haven’t been animated yet… so I guess this contains spoilers?)

Disclaimer: Once again, myreferences are from K-pop, than J-pop, since I know more about that. Conceptsand songs were by groups I am familiar with. If the captain’s one had been donewhile I was crying about Boys24, this one is brought to you by PD101S2.

Note: No Oikawa or Moniwa. They’re over here with theother captains and other random things.

The Group in General

- What can I say, this group is just full ofpretty people. ALL ULZZANGS I TELL YOU!

- This group also consists of mostly peoplewho project quiet, chic, and sassy image and they have been called the ‘FlowerBoy-dols’, ‘Model-dols’, ‘Sassy-dols’ and all other variants that people canthink off just to emphasize how beautiful (and sassy) they are.

- A lot of buzz had already surrounded thisgroup even before their debut, because some of them have experienced fame indifferent forms. Fangirls are easily baited. One look at the boys and theynever looked back.

- However, this was kind of a double edgedsword, because most people thought that they’re all just pretty faces with no actualtalent to back them up. (Haters do say the meanest things. They are most DEFINITELYWRONG of course.)

- But that was all behind them now. Theirfanbase is as strong as ever and they’re gaining more as they promote.

- So like, I kind of visualize that theircompany introduced the members of the group by dropping little hints/’facts’about the member all throughout the day, and will end with that member’s teaservideo and picture that details his profile.

- Then surprise, surprise! After that shortteaser video, they actually have a short intro video, recorded with V-Live.

- Imagine being a fangirl and doing this for10 days, every other day, just to die and resurrect again for the rest of themembers.

- Then they update with the album highlights,and MV teasers up until their official debut.

- When the MV had been released, and all ofthem have been introduced, they do a group v-live to formally introducethemselves as a group, inviting the support and love of the people.

The Members

Semi Eita – Eita is the Leader of the group. He alsoserves as the lead dancer and is mostly responsible for overlooking the member’sactivities. Eita started his career as back up dancer to some solo femaleartists, but he didn’t hesitate to join the agency when they recruited him. He’sthe kind of leader that doesn’t really step into the spotlight and is justcontent with letting the other member’s do their thing but knows when to puthis foot down. Always thanks fans for their gifts and for watching their liveperformances.

He’s like EXO’s Suhomixed with Ikon’s Junhoe. (IDK why…)

Sugawara Koushi – Koushi is theactual eldest of the group and serves as the lead vocalist as well as the Faceof the Group. Started as an ulzzang with an already good amount of followers,and he has the largest fanbase among all of them because of this. He wasdiscovered when he heeded the request of a fan to sing even just a short lineof a song. But since he likes to go the extra mile, he also played the guitar. Thoughhe may look innocent, fans are well aware of how much sass this boy possess, apparentwith his responses to fan questions over twitter and during fan meetings.

EXO’s Luhan is whocomes to mind for idol!Suga

Echigo Sakae – Echigo completesthe hyung line. He is the main vocals of the group because of his smooth RnBvibes. Echigo competed in a singing contest organized by the agency and he won2nd place over all, but it was enough to secure him a spot as atrainee. He’s a man of few words, but do not mistake his quietness for he is acertified deadpan snarker, to his members as well as the fans. He also likes totease the ‘middle children’ line, especially when their maknae does evil thingsto them.

Echigo is based off ofMBLAQ’s G.O, mixed with Big Bang’s Taeyang.

Akaashi Keiji – Keiji is the maindancer of the group. Develops their group’s choreography with Shigeru, withSemi occasionally lending a hand. Has quite a following, especially when hemade waves as the ‘boy who really danced well’ in one of the biggest dancestudios dance class video. It took a while for agency reps to scout him since hedoesn’t really want to become an idol and was content in dancing, but when heassisted one of the dance instructor for another idol group’s choreo, somehowchanged his mind. The long suffering responsible brother, despite being theactual youngest in the middle children line.

I would liken Keiji toEXO’s Kai.

Kozume Kenma – Kenma is the shyand young, lauded by fans as ‘genius producer-dol’ of the group. He’s veryskilled in song writing and composing, and most of the group’s songs areproduced by him, with members lending their hand in the lyrics. Sometimes, it’sthe other way around. The members collaborate with writing the lyrics, thenKenma makes a song out of it. Mostly works with a piano, but asks for Suga’shelp for guitars and Shirabu’s help when it comes to percussions. If he had thechoice, he would just stay inside the studio and make songs, but such is notthe case, so he serves as a sub-vocal (only because he doesn’t want to be inthe center of performances as much). He’s close to Keiji because he’s the onlyone who’s is warm but quiet among his same age peer.

The best reference Ihave for Kenma is EXO’s D.O

Yahaba Shigeru – Shigeru acts as thegroup’s dancer and their unofficial variety representative. Before this though,he was thought to be the second Koushi, because he exudes the soft grace, thatisn’t far behind his hyung. All this was shattered when they guested at avariety show and became a complete fountain of laughter, because of his wittycomments and clever comeback lines. Often ‘butt’s heads’ with Shirabu and createdthe Wise Guy to Shirabu’s Straight Man. And they have created memes fans callthe “Shi-Shi’s” because of this. He is also game with cross-dressing, since headmits that its part of his charm.

SHINee’s KEY is myreference for Shigeru.

Shirabu Kenjiro – Shirabu comes froma family of actors, and was actually a child actor before he made the decision totrain and become an idol instead, in his desire to create a name for his own.It wasn’t unexpected for him to be in the spotlight with the rest of hisfamily, but people mostly expected him to follow his parents’ and brother’sfootsteps. But since his history with acting is not forgotten, he’s oftentapped to act in productions but he’s only accepted minor roles, since he wantsto focus more on his idol activities. He blends in well with the group andlends his support as vocals.

Think of Infinite’s L,as the image he projects, but he actually has BTOB’s Sungjae’s playfulness inhim.

Miya Atsumu – Miya is the mainrapper of the group and the one that completes the middle children line. Has alove-hate relationship with fans because of his resting bitch face that he usesto tease them with. But his performance on stage is something they all loveabout him. Has a twin brother, who is his complete opposite and wants to be faraway from the spotlight as possible. Ever since the fans learned about this,and how mature his brother is, they found a way to tease him back and calledthem “The Prince and Pauper”, with Atsumu being the pauper, much to hisannoyance.

I think the restingbitch face is a clue enough that EXO’s Kris is my reference for Atsumu.

Koganegawa Kanji – Kogane serves asthe second rapper of the group and is actually the older of the two members ofthe maknae line. He is the tallest among the group, earning him the nickname ‘Super-SizedMaknae’. He’s also painfully new in the idol industry, but his enthusiasm andwillingness to learn, as well as his hyung’s support, helped him become moreconfident in his skills, as well as his presence in the group. Another varietyrepresentative, because of his naivety and simple mindedness. Considered a 4Dmember by the fans, but despite this, they all find him lovable because of hisenergy and determination.

Kogane reminds me ofMBLAQ’s Mir.

Kageyama Tobio – Tobio is the otherhalf of the maknae line, and is the actual maknae of the whole group. But fansoften mistake Kogane to be this, because Tobio is often too serious, and doesn’tdisplay maknae tendencies. Absolutely hates doing aegyo and claims that he doesn’tknow how. Its cringe worthy whenever he tries (and he tries really hard), but whenhe’s not thinking about it though, it shows. Fans especially finds his squinting-poutyface adorable. The official visual of the group, and not to be confused withKoushi’s Face of the Group. They’re both considered visuals, but with differentimage/projection (Koushi is the warm to Tobio’s cold). He’s a dedicated all-rounder,although he usually plays more vocal parts.

Tobio’s reference is Nu’est’sMinhyun (and I swoon)

Concept/s and Songs

- This group started out safely enough withsongs that are influenced by jazz, like B.A.P’sCoffee Shop and Whereare You, What are You Doing.

- Then they delved into the more ‘pop’ side,with concepts centered-around chic style and synchronized dance. Like Infinite’s Dashi Dorawa; BEAST’s Fiction;EXO’s Call Me Baby.

- The song that I seriously think fits themthe most is C-Clown’s Shaking Heart. I don’t know why butit just does.

- Other songs: Winner’s Really Really; VIXX’sError; Super Junior’s Devil.

- Of course, they couldn’t escape doing cutesongs like SHINee’s Replay and Hello; Got7’s A;Astro’s Breathless; Seventeen’s Mansae; lightheartedsongs like iKon’s #WYD; Super Junior’s No Otherand Why I Like You

- For feel fest songs they have: BTS’ SpringDay; Boys24’s Starlight; Infinite’sParadise; Nu’est’s Hello and Good Bye Bye; Winner’s Fool; and VIXX’s Only You.

- Yeah… I guess that sums it up. Also notethat they’ve done plenty of share of covering girl group songs. Shigeru forsome reasons were able to rope most of the group, especially Suga. Once Sugasays they do it, they do it. They can’t refuse. It will be their end.

I guessthis is it?

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu setters #sugawara koushi #kageyama tobio #kozume kenma #akaashi keiji #yahaba shigeru #shirabu kenjirou #semi eita #miya atsumu #koganegawa kanji #echigo sakae #setter squad #headcanon #idol au

124 notes · View notes

oddsxxends · 5 years

Text

a while later...

I’d like to think of this as an impromptu update cause i was just scrolling on tumblr, which has now become a rare activity of mine. so it’s graci, what’s up. i literally think it’s been 3-4 years. on my end, i’ve done a shit ton of growing up. i now work at my third job, it’s at starbucks. since the last post where i tell you i’m awful sonic ‘job’, i’ve worked at chills360 (an ice cream shop) and kroger, which i met the love of my life at. it’s incredible how right when you start looking for someone, you find pretty much exactly what you wanted. that was in april 2018, it’s now march 2019 and we’ve been doing long distance for about 10 months because he’s entered the marine reserves. i saved enough money to see his graduation august 10th, 2018. scariest thing i’ve done ever, but such a good experience. i bought and completely paid off my car all by myself. she’s a yellow chevy 2008 cobalt that i love to death. her names bea! more seriously, i’ve learned how to speak up for myself, how to carry myself as a strong woman and have learned to take pride in myself. i’ve learned to say no to things that don’t better me or benefit me. and on october 5, 2018, we lost a family member. our cousin amanda. she had recently had kenzie, her first baby. it’s still hard to swallow saying that or even writing it. she committed suicide. we believe it was a mix of a tough marriage and post partum depression. we have to live with it everyday but we get through it by leaning on each other. we went to new mexico last weekend to celebrate her birthday. my aunt and uncle get to watch kenzie almost every weekend and we see amanda in her so much. it has brought our family together even more but i just wish it didn’t have to be in that way you know? onto a lighter note, or well not really lol, i’ve learned that i am a hard worker and that will make people want to take advantage of that. ive learned to care for myself and be gentle and kind to myself. i have spent way too long being my worst critic and once you start accepting yourself for who you are, you suddenly see the gorgeous, kind, wonderful goddess that you always hoped to be. i’m working towards going to esthetician school, id basically be working at a spa doing facials and maybe body massages! getting a credit card is on the agenda to start building credit and also fleshing out how to begin looking for apartment with me and my love. we’ve also got two new cats now, neah and nova. they are gorgeous and the cutest things ever. and dash is still holding strong at like 13 years lol. i’m proud of all that i’ve done with myself so far, and it’s nice to kinda document growth so idk if alicia will see this but i’ll definitely ask if she’d want to join in again :)

fave song: california girls NoMBe and would you be so kind by dodie

go-to coffee shop beverage: soy matcha vanilla latte/or a two honey whole milk latte/ iced americano with cream and two pumps of cinnamon dolce (can you tell i work at starbucks haha)

fave word: effervescent

0 notes

2centsofsilver · 5 years

Text

Losing My V Card

Telling Brendon All About It! ~ SUNDAY, DEC 23, 2018, 11:50 PM ~

Alright, I’m here!

Katherine

Ok! I’m here

So yesterday Natasha stayed the night and we made out and she gave me some great tips, etc.

We went to Cafe Zola and the Kerrytown shops today and got some gifts for our families

Katherine

She left at like 5:30 back to Ohio. My anxiety today was through the roof. We slept in the same bed last night and I was so anxious about today that I couldn’t sleep. So I took more melatonin than usual not realizing the mg was higher than normal so I took like 3x my normal amount and then got scared I was gonna die so Natasha held my hand all night??? But what ultimately happened was, I was so anxious and then resisting against this intense sleep dose. And ended up not sleeping at all.

Katherine

So today I was a miserable zombie in a horrible mood with Natasha and felt really bad about it and worried about tonight because I wasn’t in a good place to calm the fuck down

And I just secretly wanted Natasha to leave so that I could go home and calm down so I told her I wanted to go back to my place early and she left like an hour earlier than planned and I was able to calm down in bed and stuff

Katherine

Then I go out to my car to do my makeup at like 6. All the makeup that is usually in my car for whatever reason wasn’t there so I had to search my car to find it for 15 min and couldn’t find my main foundation. So I told Ruth I was running late. I was sooooo fucking mad at myself for being unprepared and late and shit per usual. So I floored it to Walgreens, bought makeup at 6:30, put it on, Floored it to Kerrytown and got there exactly at postponed time of 6:45 on the dot somehow.

Katherine

So it was just this absolute shit show right before, as usual, is the point I’m trying to make.

With me? Lol

Yup!

Katherine

I was just really fucking mad and hated myself because this happens all the time

So I text her when I’m walking in, she tells me where she’s sitting and what she’s wearing, I walk in and don’t see her. So I’m thinking I’m at the wrong Sweetwaters. But then I saw her sitting by the window at a high top table. And she. Was. GORGEOUS

Have I shown you a pic??

I believe so!

Katherine

She looked just like that, wearing this maroon pretty sweater and had her thick dark hair up in a messy bun on the top of her head. HER EYES were stunning. As beautiful or more beautiful than Rachel.

She’s super pretty!

Katherine

Yeah!

So I walk in v flustered because I’m late and shit and walk over, say hi and apologize for being late. She was super cool about it. She said I should go get some coffee. I come back and we just talk for about an hour and a half

Katherine

We talked about how I prefer cold drinks over hot, our families, our brothers, how we celebrate Christmas, her time living in northern Michigan and how much she hated it due to scarce civilization and zero queer community. We talked about Euchre and she did this thing where she asked if she could show me what her brother does during euchre by taking my hands and making them “milk a cow” over her hot tea lol

Katherine

And then she drank the tea.

Oh interesting lol

Katherine

Yeah lmao

And then at some point in the middle of a non-related conversation, she mentioned “lack of experience” and having “only done casual a few times” so I used that as an opportunity into the next segment of our convo

I asked her what she meant by that

And she basically told me that she’s relatively new to casual dating & encounters and has been “dancing with people” for about 3 months

Wasn’t sure what she meant but she said it’s a euphemism she likes to use

So imagine how a therapist has a full case load of clients

She explained she also has an active running list of regulars outside of work that she regularly hooks up with. And she calls it “dancing with people” as in, the dance of casually having sex with many people

Haha ok

Katherine

I joked saying I was glad she didn’t mean she wanted to go out dancing

Katherine

So she explained that something she does is talk to others about the others. Like all the people she’s sleeping with, she talks about the others to the others. I was just like ok whatever. I think she just meant she was gonna reference scenarios with her other people to talk to me about like examples of the kinds of stuff she does. Idk if that makes sense

Katherine

Maybe saying that it’s okay she’s talking about the others to me, like letting me know they’re aware of it. Idk.

So she started talking about some of the other people she’s been sleeping with and for how long, what those situations are like, very generally

Hang on give me a second

Alright

Katherine

Went blank for a sec

I think she went into all that because I asked her what casual dating/encounters looks like for her, and what she’s imagining/picturing for us

And she said something like “everyone is different but there has been a general/typical theme in how it tends to go”

Which is just, meet up, hang out, do something. Then go back to someone’s place

She said every encounter varies person to person

I asked her to elaborate on her lack of experience

That’s when she mentioned number of partners, and starting out nervous. She said every single person she’s “had a sex interview with” has been very nervous and expressed a good amount of anxiety

And described it as a common theme

So at that point I felt comfortable mentioning my anxiety

Katherine

I basically said, “Yeah I also share lack of experience. I have very very minimal experience. It’s been quite some time since I’ve seen anybody. This past year I have become more sure of myself and what I want, become more accepting of myself and self confident, whereas in the past my anxiety took the wheel. I feel ready for this and am very excited, but do have a small amount of anxiety”

Katherine

Something like that

Katherine

And I was very grateful because that led her into a conversation about how anxiety is normal, all humans have it. How she and every person she sleeps with has it. And how every single “interview” (she used that word jokingly) she’s had recently has involved the same exact expression of fears/anxiety/hesitancy.

Katherine

She emphasized that multiple times thereafter; that our conversation was a very common theme in all of her most recent meet ups

That many many people show up, express lack of experience, uncertainty with their ability to meet expectations, and a relatively high level of anxiety. And that really was valuable for me. It greatly reduced my nerves and discomfort.

And all the talk from friends about not bringing up my anxiety.

I asked her whether what she’s looking for is entirely non-emotion focused. And she said no. She said that’s not possible. She said you have to be attached a little bit in order to trust someone and feel safe.

Katherine

So yeah it was honestly the most ideal conversation and setup. I increasingly felt more and more comfortable. She was very very easy to talk to. And I felt comfortable opening up and expressing anxiety, not feeling like I had to hide it. I even mentioned varying advice from friends about what to share/disclose about my anxiety and she very much reassured me, repeatedly, that having anxiety was not a turn off for her.

Katherine

That it was completely fine, okay, acceptable, normal, common, expected, etc.

I asked her what I can expect and she asked me what my “yes please” and “no not at all” lists were.

Katherine

I hesitated and she said “It’s okay if you don’t know.” So I asked her for examples. She told me that on her yes please list were things like: biting, slapping, and all the basics including oral. Her no list included things like bondage, cutting, drawing blood, anal. But that she’ll give anal. So I talked about some of the things I love and the things I didn’t want.

Katherine

And then I asked her what her preference around hair was and she was woke af as you said, in not expecting or asking me to physically remove the hair on my body. So I felt very relieved.

Katherine

I talked to her about my experiences with Katie who was manipulative/abusive, Jamie who wasn’t the right match, Mike who nearly raped me drunk, and Rachel whose partner vetoed me. She had a knowledge bad in polyamory and she apologized for what happened to me, saying it wasn’t gone about appropriately. I mentioned things like tightness and fear of pain, asked for open communication, check ins, gentle fingering, mentally freezing, and mentioned body image self consciousness. She said everyone has it and that it’s okay, not a thing to worry about. I said “obviously you can tell my body type through my clothes and if that were a dealbreaker for you, we prob wouldn’t be this far into this conversation,” and she said exactly.

Katherine

knowledge base*

She told me “It’s not supposed to hurt, we don’t have to make it hurt, it will be okay,” etc.

Katherine

I just felt all my anxiety fade away. I couldn’t stop smiling and felt so good and so happy/excited. I felt like I could trust her. She also talked a lot about trauma and filling the void, the idea isolation and physical touch. She’s very much a social worker and I’m grateful for that.

Katherine

Towards the end she said “We don’t have to do all of this in one night. There are no rules here, no shoulds, no have-tos. We can go back to your place right after this if you’re comfortable doing that, we could also call it a night and plan for another night, options are endless.” I thought for a moment and told her I’m feeling comfortable and would like to move forward with this at my place She asked if I was sure, that we didn’t have to, etc. I told her yes I’m ready. I went to the bathroom. Texted you, Natasha, and Rachel. I collected my mental and emotional bearings. Came back to the table and mentioned “being ready but scared.” She said “it’s gonna he okay,” and that set me over the edge. Got me off right there in my pants. Put our coats on and walked out

Katherine

She followed me back to my place in our cars. I felt good the whole time like “it’s finally happening”

Katherine

Came into my place, casually talked on the way to my room about why thI couch was covered in plastic and why my bed was covered in boards but has clean sheets (Lilah has been pissing everywhere). She said she literally does not care what my room looks like. But I thought it was interesting that Natasha and I just so happened to spend hours and hours at the laundromat last night washing my sheets and making my bed and cleaning my room, not even knowing this was set to happen.

Katherine

And my roommate JUST SO HAPPENED to be out of town. It was meant to happen

Phone dying give me a sec

Katherine

Tell you more tomorrow, dozing

DEC 24, 2018, 9:35 AM

Wow!!! I’m so ready to hear the rest!!

This sounds great!

Katherine

Yeah!

DEC 24, 2018, 3:10 PM

Katherine

Oh I meant to also tell you, that I mentioned having never had sex. Like I was straight up but hesitant about it. And she just sorta shrugged like no big deal, not at all a turnoff. She said she had recently met with another person who had also never had sex. She saw nothing deficient in it whatsoever. So amazing

Katherine

I’m out shopping but will tell you more when I get home!

Katherine

I told her I enjoy dominance but to be more equal our first time. But I told her she could be a little dominant and talk down to me and stuff. I told her I was ok with her basically taking the lead with me. And she said that was fine, that she felt it had already been applied. So that was great too. It was all so ideal!

Katherine

implied**

MON 7:25 PM

How was the actual sex??

Katherine

On my way Home from target, I’ll tell u all about it I promise lol

MON 10:37 PM

Katherine

Ok I can message now lol. Hope you’re having an amazing time with your family I’m gonna just tell ya part II and you can respond whenever you want

Okkkkk so!

Katherine

She followed me back to my place. We talked on the way in. I went to the bathroom and got situated. My nerves were kicking in again but this time it was much more excitement and thrill and fun-type butterflies. I came out of the bathroom, mentioned I was gonna take Tylenol for a headache and then I glanced at her. She was laying in my bed on her side fully clothed, cute as hell, smiling at me.

Katherine

Took my breath away. I was so damn wet already My god. So I sorta blushed and went in my room, asked if we should have the lights on or off. She said hallway light was enough so we turned the lights off. I wasn’t sure what I should do so I asked her (that is basically how we went about the whole night step by step which I loved and deeply appreciated). I said, “Should I take off my clothes?” (I assumed the answer was no and that we’d get there but I was trying to figure out what to do immediately lol)

Katherine

So she said, “It’s ok, why don’t we just hang out like this here for a little?” She was so nice and could sense I was nervous so we took things real slow. She got close to me and sorta was sitting on the bed facing me, I was also sitting facing her. And then she sorta stretched out back onto her side smiling at me, so I did the same. So we were laying there on our sides fully clothed up close to each other. Whole time she’s saying, “Yeah, just like that, that ok? You doin okay?” etc.

Katherine

Felt very safe and comfortable

Katherine

So then she put her hand on my shoulder and kinda rested it there, kinda rubbing my shoulder and arms a little, asking if I’m doing ok, we got calm. I don’t remember what we were talking about but we were talking. And in a minute or so, I just sorta looked up and said “ok” and started nodding. And she’s like “yeah?” Maybe I said I was ready. Idk. It was all very natural. She was really really firm on getting solid yes’s from me before continuing because she knew I had been assaulted by a guy several years prior. So I’m like “yeah” and she asked if I wanted to go a step further and I nodded. She’s like “yes?” I’m like “yes” and then BOOM it was like a sex scene in grey’s anatomy LOL

Katherine

She pulled me in, dove right in, we started making out relatively hard. It was like, perfect timing perfect setup, and I was immediately good at it. Damn. She is a good kisser. I felt comfortable the whole time and used lots of tongue and all that. She was much better than Natasha lmao. I was just really loving every moment, felt like a learner soaking it all up. Like the tongue movements...we twirled tongues in circles over and over. Who knew that could be so exhilarating!

Katherine

She started kissing the side of my face, my forehead, all the way down my neck, my shoulder, she had her hand on the back of my neck. I was shocked by how IMMEDIATE the sensations were. Like what the fuck. I didn’t expect that stuff to feel SO GOOD

Katherine

I started kissing her face, down her neck, her shoulder, and put my hand on the back of her neck, and kinda gripping her hair. It smelled so good. Her hair is so THICK and luscious. Whole time she’s telling me it feels really good, saying “yeah” a lot and letting me know what she liked. I’m thinking “damn, this is either just how people communicate during lesbian sex or she actually thinks I’m really good” lol

Katherine

But she seemed to REALLY like what I was doing. Like at one point I put my hand on her back and she said “Yeah I like that. I like your hand on my back like that” so I liked being told what she liked

It was very affirming for me. Confidence boosting.

Katherine

Soon she says “I’d like to take this off you, if that’s okay.” I was wearing a red knit sweater. I was so excited for that moment for some reason. I wore it on purpose because of how smoothly it just falls right off my skin. So she slid it off me, and started kissing down my arms, etc.

Katherine

I said, “what about my shirt?” And she said “Would you like to take your shirt off?” And I said yes so she helped me with that too. And then I was just in my bra and pants. And she started kissing my chest

Katherine

I was kinda nervous to be exposed but she was like rubbing my stomach and stuff and didn’t seem repelled or anything and I was enjoying it so much so most those self conscious nerves were gone. By this point I’m completely outstretched. I asked her if she wanted me to take her shirt off and she said ok so we did. I kissed her all over, etc.

Katherine

Debating how detailed to go on this next part LMFAO

Breast play????? Is...... AMAZING. What the actual fuck. Who knew.

She started doing that to me with my bra still on and I was like already over the edge lmao.

We were still making out, kissing on the lips, etc, just a variety of all of it by now. And then she asks, “Do you want me to take this off?” pulling at my bra. And I said YES

AND THEN

Katherine

We took that off. And get this. By natural instinct I covered up. I literally covered my chest by kinda folding my arms in front of me, twisted over from back to side, and put my head downward. Like I didn’t even realize I did that. And she noticed. She was very good at noticing when I was less okay

Katherine

Because I’m REALLY REALLY embarrassed and ashamed of my breasts. Like really bad. Because when I got assaulted by Mike Johnson, the way he looked at them all confused when he realized they weren’t perky. The way he held them and sorta paused to think. The way he tried to get my nipples to come out even though I don’t have naturally erect nipples. I remember how badly I wanted to cry when he did all that. So I was really ashamed when my bra came off. I didn’t want her to see my chest. Isn’t that sad???

Katherine

And she kinda caught my eye contact when I looked down. And then I just laid on my side for a bit kissing her, etc. And we were facing each other side by side again. And she looks at me and she’s like, “You know. It’s helpful when I can see you.” I hadn’t even realized I’d done that, because I didn’t know what she meant. I’m like “Oh...haha, ok, wait, you mean like my face or the rest of my body?” And she said “Both.” She had paused. I don’t know how to explain it but it was like she saw a moment and caught it for me, and wasn’t gonna let me feel ashamed. It was like “let’s tackle this before we continue,” so we took a pause

Katherine

She’s like “It seemed like you were hiding a bit there,” and I just said yeah, and she was like “we are okay.” And I’m like ok. And she said ok? And I’m like ok. And then we moved on. I rolled back onto my back and let myself be exposed and closed my eyes. And she moved into my breasts and what happened after that was history lmao

Katherine

She starts feeling all around. I was blown away by how good it felt immediately. I remember that with Mike a little. Just felt really really good. I personally like hard rough play in this area and was planning to ask for that. And I pretty much did right away. She had told me she likes biting, both providing and receiving. I love receiving. So I basically just told her to do things and she did. It was all very exceptional. And then I really emphasized how badly I wanted her to hurt me. And she said “You also said you were scared about pain,” and I said “Yes but up here it’s ok.” So yeah I asked her to do the maximum. Pinch. Pull. Bite as hard as she can. Etc. Lots of pain lots of gain. I looooooved it. She asked me if I wanted her to SLAP me. I wasn’t sure about this. Thought about it. Said ok but not too hard. She did it once and i liked it so she did it maybe 2-3 more times. I know this is beyond detailed but I’m also gonna he copying and pasting all these messages into one consolidated blog entry on my private tumblr so yeah lol

Katherine

Gotta write it somewhere lol

Then she started rubbing a certain area and saying “you’re pretty dark here. You may bruise here,” and I said ok that was fine. But omfg. My boobs are SO SORE and bruised today. I’ve got hickies allllllllo over omgggg

I just bruise so easily in general, it’s insane

Katherine

So then I ask if she wants me to take her bra off. We do. She says, “Is this your first set of tits?” I’m like yeah. She goes “This is the first time you’ve ever played with a woman’s tits?” And I’m like yeah. And I’m pretty sure I said “I’m nervous” or “I’m scared” or something. And she said it was ok, “everything will be okay.” I said “what should I do?” And my voice was all fucking nervous and shit. And she said to just play with them. So I went for it the same way she did for me. And she again, affirmed everything I did just by her reaction/sounds but also by telling me.

Katherine

I was like terrified to even look at, touch, lick, or bite her nipples but I did and she loved it so it felt good knowing I was providing something to someone and she was enjoying it

Katherine

She said I was really good at it. Loved the biting. It went really well. At this point things took a turn (in a good way) because I asked her if I could straddle her other leg to get to the other side. And in doing so, my knee brushed against her down there, and the way my body was moving just from licking her up top was causing that to also happen down there so it was like a good segway into part II which i was so ready for. I think I asked her if we could take my pants off. So we did. She helped me. She brushed her hand up against me down there with my underwear still on and it almost sent me right over the edge. She’s like “Is this where you want me” and I couldn’t even talk. I nodded. But she wanted that yes. So I gave it to her. So she started feeling and everything and I told her I wanted her to take my underwear off. She asked if I was sure. Etc etc. and then she did. And moved right in. And I’m not gonna give you details but it was EXQUISITE. She started with her hands. Then moved into oral. Then used her hands again. It was just like. I had hit another planet.

Katherine

Like my mouth dropped open and I said “Holy moly” lmao

Katherine

The oral was just beyond imaginable. Idk if it’s like that for everyone but she knew exactly what she was doing it. Like, v skilled. And then I asked her to finger me. And that was the part during coffee where I expressed great fear and history of pain so she wasn’t sure and definitely asked me if I was sure. She said “you’ve talked about a lot of pain and tightness down here” and I said “yeah but I want you to try and just be gentle.” And she said “We are not required to do this. We don’t have to. We can do other things,” and I said “I know. But I want you to.” (I DID!!!) I told her it can be painful but a huge turn on for me when and if it’s not. So she said ok but said, “if anything hurts, I want you to tell me and I’ll stop.” And I said I will don’t worry

Katherine

So she worked on me a bit. Slow and gentle. I am not kidding when I tell you there wasn’t much pain. A little uncomfortable but she was able to get in there. I incrementally asked for 3 fingers. And she was able to go pretty deep without pain. There was SOME pain here and there. Some intolerable and I spoke up. But I wanted her to try it and we did. I liked it. Halfway through I was shaking from anxiety and cold and expressed that and she covered me up. It was super sweet. It almost felt even better all covered up in blankets and stuff

Katherine

We worked down there a damn ass long time

It was great

Lmfao @ holy moly!!!

Katherine

Then took her underwear off. I didn’t go down on her because she got very very tired lol. So I fingered her till she came. She fingered me more till I came. And then we kissed some more. And then we just laid there. It took over an hour till I came. And then it was really quick and fast and she was confused by how fast I’d orgasmed. I said “I can usually go again right after” and then literally masturbated in front of her and got off in like a minute. But it was still super fast and she was struck by that. Didn’t understand why my orgasm wasn’t longer. And honestly I’m not sure either. I told her after providing myself with millions of orgasms all my life, I sometimes wonder and feel as though I’ve lost my ability to have strong ones anymore. And she thought that was interesting. I mentioned “we’ll have to research it” lol and work on it.

Katherine

Lmaoooo glad you liked that

After I got off to myself she’s like “is that the first time you’ve ever got off in front of someone before?” And I said no, I orgasmed with Mike Johnson. Etc. But yeah

This is all so great so far, it sounds like you had a fabulous night!

Katherine

Then we just laid there and talked about my job lol. I showed her videos of my kids on the JCC tablet while we were still naked and panting which is probably wrong and messed up in numerous ways but WHATEVER lmao. I wanted her to see what I do for a living and she loved it. She said it seems I really love those kids and my job. Then she said she was tired and needed to sleep. I thanked her a ton and said I hope it was okay for her and she said I did a wonderful job. We both got dressed. I walked her to my door. We hugged. She kissed my forehead. And I pulled her in and kissed her hard on her lips. And then she left.

Katherine

She said when I get back in town to let her know and we’ll do it all again.

Basically I’m now on her “outside of work client list”

Because she has a list of people she regularly sleeps with and I’m basically in now. In the books. Lol

I’m so happy brendon

Haven’t stopped thinking about it all day. This morning I got off like 5 times in a row thinking about it and didn’t wanna leave my bed lol

Katherine

OH- there were 2 awkward moments. 1 was when I asked if she was comfortable fingering me anally and she said yes. She did okay but she said she had never done that before. It wasn’t exactly what I wanted and then I was mortified because I forgot that sometimes there’s a smell and so I didn’t say anything but I initiated we move onto something else. Like I was entirely clean back there but I completely forgot that sometimes that can happen. I didn’t utter a word about it but took the lead in moving back into something else lol

Katherine

And then the other awkward thing was an overwhelming need to pee as we moved closer to orgasm. She said that just meant I was close to orgasm. But I fucking know how an orgasm feels for me and this as very much a desperate need to pee so we stopped and I went to the bathroom and COULDNT PEE. She said it’s probably just anxiety and I think she was right. But then she said her hand got tired later and prob wouldn’t have been so tired had we just kept going rather than stopping and then starting over again lol

Katherine

But yeah that’s the end

As the JCC teachers sing at story time: “That’s the end of the story, that’s the end of the story, that’s the end of the store-eeeeeeeeee! It’s time to sing some songs!”

What song should we sing today brendon? If you’re happy and you know it? Ok! Here we go! If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands!!

I diiiiiiid it brendon!!!!!!!! I DID IT! I DID THE THING!

You really did do it!!! I’m so happy for you and also proud of you!

It sounds amazing!

And like you’re gonna do it again soon

I’m glad she was so patient and comfortable and kind

Katherine

Exactly!! Yesss me too!! Thank you Brendon!

All day today, extra energy in my step. Fucking grinning everywhere I go

I TOLD SUSAN

You’re confident!

Katherine

I know!!!

Sounds like it was everything you wanted and needed

Especially in your first time

Katherine

Yes like a dream

Yes

Katherine

And no relationship needed. Like it was the perfect amount of everything just as is.

Which is great

Katherine

I don’t really want a relationship right now

Exactly

Oh also, 2 things I forgot to include. Both awkward

At the very beginning of her going down on me. She spread my legs and I cramped

Like leg cramps on both sides

Katherine

Embarrassing because ya know. I’m fat and I cramp up and she had spread my legs as wide as possible. So I voiced it and she acted like it was no big deal, completely normal, asked if I wanted to prop them up with pillows so we did and she adjusted them and no more cramping. It was like she knew exactly what to do or something

Katherine

And then the other thing was, halfway through the whole thing she said, “Are you familiar with sub/dom BSDM at all?” And I said yes (just from so much porn watching over the years). And she’s like “Well, one thing that tends to be common in BDSM, is the phrase, ‘You are being a very good girl.’ Is that something you’d like me to say to you?” And I wasn’t sure.

Katherine

Like the majority of me didn’t really like the ring it had because it feels fake, scripted, not real. I’d rather her talk down to me and TELL me to be good. But I didn’t like the “good girl” thing and should have told her. I said we could try it so we did and yeah. I didn’t hate it but it wasn’t something I’d wanna do again. I like being told I’m doing good, or to be good. But I don’t like that good girl part.

Katherine

Like that I’m a child and she’s a parent or something. Idk. Didn’t feel right

But then, the thing is, I have my own specifics that a lot of people would probably be uncomfortable with in their own sex life

So we are all different and I get that.

But I have kinks that I’d LOVE to explore with her that are def different and more uncommon. I’m assuming she won’t want to for at least one of them.

Which is fine and completely understandable

And then a third thing that happened was she asked me to slap her breast. Which I wasn’t uncomfortable with or anything. Just nervous and embarrassed to do??? I did it once. She said I did really well. Idk. What are your thoughts on these last few things?

0 notes