#and then my gf found me on the living room couch crying and cuts all over my arm and a kitchen knife next to me

[nataliedanovelist]

GF - Mabel’s Worry

Collab with @clownwry! They’ve been super sweet and very nice, and after getting inspired by this post, I decided to write a full on-fic about it... but then it spiraled out of control, so enjoy an angsty story featuring the sweater twins!

~~~~~~~~~~

Mabel sat up quickly, breathing just as heavy as an Olympic runner. She shook her head to clear it and she hugged her knees in self-embarrassment. It was just a stupid nightmare. Vague, no real plot, but still carried the overall message, the fear, anxiety, and still made Mabel’s blood run cold and sweat sparkle on her forehead. She needed to calm down, get herself together. Milk. Warm milk.

And so she quietly got out of bed and left her shared attic bedroom for downstairs. Despite being gone for nine months, she still knew this dark home by heart. She could walk it blindfolded if needed, but the moonlight leaking in through the triangular windows helped her in her journey. That and a small light coming from the living room. Like a moth to a flame, Mabel sleepily dragged her socked feet to the room and peaked through the doorway, half of her face hidden by wood and shadow.

Grunkle Ford was sitting in the armchair, reading a book in the light of a lamp. Mabel’s spirit was lifted, relieved and happy to see him, but she was hesitant to bother him. He was happy with his book, she really shouldn’t bother him with her own stupid problems. She should probably just go get her drink and go to bed and leave him alone. But then Grunkle Ford’s instincts alerted him of a spy and he looked up and instantly smiled.

“Mabel,” His blissful facial expression dropped suddenly remembering that she went to bed a few hours ago and it wasn’t quite daylight yet. “What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

This really wasn’t like her, for words to fail leaving her mouth, for her to be silent or non-vocal. But all Mabel could do was barely step into the light, hands behind her back, and shrug with her eyes to the floor. She was silent because she was afraid of what she would say if she dared to give herself the opportunity to talk. Ford grew more concerned, but he knew what to do; he had more practice under his belt now than he did months ago. He smiled softly at his niece, closed his book and sat it on the dino skull, and patted his thigh. “Come here.”

Mabel looked up and bit her lip. The dame broke over her uncle’s kindness. With watering eyes she ran into his lap and clung onto him tightly, burying her face in his chest and whimpering as tears left her eyes. Ford hugged her back tightly and petted her soft long brown hair. The girl might be thirteen, but that doesn’t mean she would stop having nightmares or no longer need comfort. Moses knows, as much as he would deny it, Ford still had nightmares and still needed reassurance. Not to mention it was well-earned after everything he and his family had been through… everything he put his family through…

Mabel was mumbling something into his maroon sweater. Ford thought it was moans, sobs, but as he listened he could actually make out words. “M’sorry… m’sorry…”

“Hey, hey.” Ford said softly. “There’s nothing to be sorry for, my dear.”

“... didn’t mean t’bother you…”

“Oh,” Ford cooed as gentle as a lamb. “Oh, sweetheart, you could never bother me. Never.”

Mabel sniffed. “M’sorry.” Whether she was still sorry for bothering him or sorry for being sorry was a bit unclear, but Ford decided it didn’t matter.

“It’s alright.” Ford eased. “It’s alright, my dear.”

After a few minutes of letting Mabel cry into his chest, Ford could feel Mabel make a sharp shiver in his hold. He got a pretty good idea, and so he gently had Mabel let him go. She whimpered like a puppy denied a treat, but she watched with sparkling eyes as Ford slipped off his maroon sweater, revealing a thin long-sleeved white undershirt, and he sweetly pulled it over Mabel’s head and smiled at her. She helped him by slipping her arms into the correct holes and she grinned as she now wore Ford’s old red sweater. Nearly every day he wore a Mabel Sweater she had made for her, whether she mailed it to the Stan O’ War while they were apart, or she gave it to him in person. Only every so often did he wear his old sweater, but they were both glad he did.

Mabel allowed her head to sink deeper into the worn yarn. Her senses and lungs were drowned in Ford’s scent, which brought along happy memories and good emotions. She hugged Ford again and he happily held her, petting her hair and just being there. 

A few minutes of silence passed, and Ford made a prediction that it was a good time to check on her verbally. “Feeling better? Mabel?” He looked down and Mabel was asleep, one arm still around him, one hand holding onto his undershirt. Ford chuckled warmly in his chest, slowly stood, and carried Mabel to the attic to tuck her in.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Dipper, they’re ready!” Mabel called.

Dipper hurried up the stairs and ran into his shared bedroom, plopped on the beanbag, and Mabel started the call on the laptop they had on the floor between the two beds. The grunkles answered at once, sitting at the table and grinning.

“Well hey there, gremlins! How was your week?” Stan greeted.

“Pretty good, just the usual school stuff.” Dipper answered.

“Did you get the package?” Mabel asked.

Ford grinned and picked up the large sealed box and placed it on the table. “Yes, perfectly intact! We picked it up in Pevek two days ago.”

“What?! And you haven’t opened it?!”

“Oh, well we thought we should wait until…”

“You two will freeze!” Mabel shook her head and smiled. “Open it and get warm!”

Stan rolled his eyes as he pulled out his pocketknife and cut the tape. “Sweetie, in the last two years we’ve been sailing you’ve sent us three trunks full of blankets, eight pairs of gloves, at least a dozen sweaters for each of us, six scarves…”

“Not that we don’t appreciate it, we always love your packages, my dear.” Ford interrupted. “But you work too hard. We’re never cold thanks to you.”

“Good. Let’s keep it that way.” Mabel said firmly.

“Oh wow! Mabel!” Ford gasped happily as he pulled out a new green sweater-vest with golden diamonds and a long-sleeved salmon button up. “This is beautiful!” Ford also pulled out a regular dark-orange turtleneck.

Stan noticed there had been two stacks of things. Ford had already taken out his stack, so the old conman grinned as he plunged his hand into the box and grabbed his new baby-blue sweater with a sailboat on it. “Sweet! And look here!” Stan pulled out another sweater, this one being a warm cream color with tiny pinetrees on the neck and wrists and waist of the sweater. “Wow, Mabel! Just when I thought your sweaters couldn’t get more impressive… this is so cool!”

Mabel blushed over the compliments. “I’m glad you like them. There’s still…”

“Oh, my dear, this must have taken you ages!” Ford pulled out one last item: a large knitted blanket to go with the others, this one made with very thick yarn that was as soft as the melody of youthful days. It was very large and could easily cover both men, and it resembled the sky perfectly, being dark blue with white specks.

“Thank you, pumpkin, this is amazing!”

Mabel grinned and said, “Just please stay warm.”

Ford smiled and nodded. “Of course we will. We’re always careful, my dear. And thanks to you I think I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be cold.”

Mabel wasn’t sure if she bought it, the number of times she saw their chattering teeth, tight jaws, and rosy cheeks and noses in pictures, but she decided not to fight it and she just smiled.

~~~~~~~~~~

There are some benefits to living in the glorious year of 2014. Many different forms of communication allow people to keep in contact, no matter how far apart they are. So not only did Ford, Stan, Dipper, and Mabel, text every day and send pictures and emails, they always had their Saturday night/Sunday morning video call. Always. So, of course, Mabel and Dipper were a little concerned when no one responded to their text messages to ask if they were ready for the call.

“Hey guys! Ready?”

“Rise and shine, sleepy heads! Can’t wait to see you guys!”

“Are you guys okay? We understand if you can’t make it this week.”

“Is something wrong? We’re not mad, but could you please text us.”

“Guys, seriously, this isn’t funny…”

“If we don’t hear back from you guys I will call the FBI! The CIA!”

“You guys do know how to use your phones, right?”

“Are you guys hurt?! ARE YOU DEAD?!”

Dipper looked up from his phone and across his bedroom. Mabel was in Sweatertown on her bed, buried in her favorite nightgown. Dipper sighed and moved to sit next to her. “Mabel, it’ll be okay.”

“They’re jerks.” Mabel mumbled from within the maroon yarn.

Dipper smiled and nodded in agreement. “Yeah, we’ll get payback when they finally answer.”

Mabel lifted her head just enough to peek at his twin. “But what if they never do…” And tears formed.

Dipper rubbed her back and said, “They will. I swear.”

But they didn’t. As time ticked from ten o’clock at night to midnight to even three o’clock in the morning, Dipper and Mabel stayed awake, waiting for a response, both of them knowing any attempt to sleep was futile. And when Mabel’s phone buzzed and rang for a video-call, they both dove and Mabel clicked the green button with a shaking hand.

~~~~~~~~

Stan gave his brother the mug of warm water. “You’re an idiot.”

Ford snorted and sipped the warm drink. “This isn’t coffee.”

“You don’t need coffee, you need to get hydrated.” Stan collapsed into the couch next to his brother. His eyes landed on the wall-clock, and he shot up quickly and ran for the bedroom. “DAMN IT!”

“What? What is it?!” Ford gasped.

“It’s Sunday!”

Ford groaned and slapped his forehead.

Stan grabbed his phone and found a dozen text messages from each kid and some missed phone calls. “Ah jeez, I know you’re wiped out, Sixer, but we gotta talk to these kids.”

“I don’t care if I’m on my deathbed, we’re calling them.” Ford hollered back as he loosened the grip of his blanket and Stan entered the room. His brother sat next to him and called Mabel’s phone.

At once Stan’s phone lit up with two distressed looking kids, both with wide eyes but missing their bedheads. “YOU’RE OKAY!” The two teenagers cried out.

Stan winced. “Kids, we’re really really sorry…”

“What happened?!” Mabel gasped. “Grunkle Ford, are you okay?! You don’t look very good, are you sick?!”

“Mabel, sweetie, I’m okay.” Ford eased. “I… erm, I fell overb-...”

“YOU FELL IN THE OCEAN?!” Mabel yelled in horror.

“Ssh, Mabel!” Dipper hissed, eyeing the door.

“Are you okay?! Are you on your way to a hospital?! Do you need anything? We can hitchhike…”

“Mabel, Mabel, please, I’m alright, Stanley’s been taking excellent care of me.” Ford said firmly. “I’m sorry we scared you, sweetie, but…”

“Well, good!” Mabel snapped, visibly angry and now full-on scolding. Stan and Ford glanced at each other nervously, getting flashbacks of scoldings from their mother. “You should be, knuckleheads! We can’t tell if you’re even still alive unless you tell us! Don’t you ever scare me like that again, you hear?! If something happened to you… I’m glad you’re happy and doing what you love, but PLEASE don’t kill yourselves doing it!” Mabel bit her lip as she realized she was yelling, and she used the long sweater sleeve to wipe at her damp eyes. “Sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“Aw, pumpkin, it’s okay.” Stan replied calmly. “You’ve got every right to be mad at us. I’m sorry, I should have at least texted you. But I honestly didn’t cuz I was busy keeping this dork alive.” Stan teased, elbowing Ford and making him smile. “So, yeah, that was really scary and that wasn’t fair, but he’s gonna be just fine and we’re both okay and you know that now. Right?”

Mabel held her knees and sunk her face into Ford’s old sweater, only her eyes and the top half of her face visible now, but she wasn’t looking at them. “Yeah… Yeah, okay…”

“Mabel,” Ford said firmly. “Mabel, look at me.” He waited until her eyes were on him, and he smiled softly and said, “We’re okay. I promise, we’re both okay.”

Mabel couldn’t help but return the smile. “Okay… okay…” She sniffed and lifted her head a little, but her chin was still happily buried in red yarn. “So, tell us what happened? Was it the Kraken again?”

Stan grinned at the opportunity for a story, and the kids happily sat and listened.

~~~~~~~~~~

Almost fifteen-years-old. Dipper should know better than to run off into the woods after a dangerous anomaly, but he did it anyway. Mabel stayed home to make sure the monster didn’t come back, and was soon reunited with her boys as they arrived, breathing heavily. Dipper was okay for the most part. His arm was hurt and he had a black eye, but he was okay, and their grunkles were only a little scuffed and there was a leaf or two in Ford’s fluffy hair.

Mabel hurried to Dipper, but instead of hugging him like the three guessed she would, she smacked her brother over the head.

“Hey!”

“Mabel!”

“You KNUCKLEHEAD!” Mabel screamed. “Don’t you EVER do that again, you hear?! Don’t you dare! What were you thinking?! You just HAD to go after it! Couldn’t go inside like a normal person!”

“Good to see you too, sis.” Dipper muttered. “I had it under control.”

“I don’t care! What if you never came back…”

Dipper blinked and interrupted her. “Aw, Mabel, that was never gonna happen.”

Mabel bit her lip, held herself, and looked away.

“M-Mabel, I’m really sorry…”

“Here, let’s get you cleaned up first, and then we’ll talk about this, okay?” Stan eased, sensing that they needed a time-out. “C’mon, kid.”

Dipper sighed and followed Stan to the bathroom where they kept the first aid kit, leaving Ford alone with Mabel, who was well prepared to talk to her.

“Mabel, my dear, you have every right to be upset with him…”

“How could he do that?!” Mabel looked up at her uncle. “How could he think for a second it’s okay to just run off like that?!”

Ford chuckled a little to try to lighten the situation. “You know your brother. He has high ambitions and is extremely curious.”

“That doesn’t matter!” Mabel snapped. “It’s still stupid and selfish! I know he needs to do what he loves, but doesn’t he know how much I need him?! How can he just leave me behind?!”

Ford stared at Mabel. Her voice was cracking, her lip was trembling, and something in her eyes was screaming to be heard. Ford thought for a second, then dared to ask, “A-Are you talking about Stanley and I as well?”

Mabel sobbed. She yelled out in pain and collapsed on the bottom step, burning her face in her hands, and sobbed her heart out. Ford was stunned to hear her cry so hard, in so much emotional pain. She didn’t even cry this hard over any nightmares, and he had dealt with a handful of them. Poor Mabel was crying so hard and violently she gagged and retched occasionally, her body torn if she could cry or not but it was out of her control.

Ford got on his knees before her, but did not touch her. It broke his heart to see her so upset. And he and Stan had done this? Whatever it would take to fix it, he would do it. He was reluctant, but if sailing around the world with his brother was causing this much pain for their girl, then they would both agree to dock for good. “M-Mabel…”

“I understand…” Mabel mumbled through her tears and into her palms. “I understand why you had to go… why you both wanna go… b-b-but what if something happens to you?! How many times have you both gotten sick or hurt or nearly killed?! I miss you all the time and I’m always worried I’ll never see or hear from you again!”

“Oh, Mabel, sweetie…” Ford reached out a hand to put on her shoulder, but Mabel threw herself into Ford’s hold and he hugged her back tightly.

“I get it… I understand why you have to go… so WHY do I still feel this way?!” Mabel sobbed, clinging onto his uncle for dear life. “I’m so angry and scared and hurt! But I don’t want you to stop, I want you to sail cuz I know it makes you happy, but I need you to be okay!”

A lot of things clicked in Ford’s brain. Why Mabel always sent packages full of warm clothes. Why she always asked what they ate. Why she always checked on them. Why she was very observant and asked if they were okay if something was slightly off. Why she easily got worried if she didn’t hear from them. And why she always hugged them like she never wanted to let them go.

 Ford blinked his stiff eyes a few times and forced himself to keep it together. “I’m so sorry, Mabel. You and your brother are everything to us. I love you two more than anything. If… If sailing causes you this much distress we can…”

“NO! No no no!” Mabel screamed in horror, holding on tighter. “No, please don’t stop cuz of me! I don’t- That doesn’t matter!”

“Mabel Pines,” Ford said firmly and readjusted his hold on her so he could look her straight in the eye. “You matter.”

“I-I know. I know.” Mabel breathed. “But… please don’t stop sailing cuz of me. Please. I don’t want you to stop. But… I want you and Grunkle Stan to be okay. I… I can’t lose you…”

A large lump was in Ford’s throat. He tried to swallow it away, but it didn’t work. He compromised and took advantage of the silence. He cupped Mabel’s right cheek with his left hand and wiped some tears away with his thumb. Mabel covered his hand with hers and turned her face into his palm.

“I understand, my dear. I do. And I’m so sorry. I swear, we won’t stop sailing unless we want to. You have my word. But I also swear to you that Stanley and I won’t let anything happen. We;re too scared of losing each other to let anything happen, believe me.” Mabel moved her eyes to his. “We will always come home. I promise.”

Mabel hugged her uncle again and cried into his shoulder, leaving him to rub her back and pray she would be okay. Ford opened his eyes and caught the sight of his twin at the top of the stairs. He must have heard Mabel’s screams and come to investigate, but decided to stay out of it. But a look from Ford told Stan that Mabel needed him too, so Stan climbed down the stairs, sat behind her, and hugged them both.

[igotanna]

Got7 reaction - you giving them second chance hyung line

genre: reader’s POV

summary: got7 reaction to their gf giving them second chance after break up, based on Never ever lyrics (marked with italic) , hyung line

warning: fluff, probably

a/n: I got this idea and thought it’s worth trying. don’t take this badly, it’s just fiction how boys would act. Gifs are not mine

maknae line here

Mark

It took you over a month to get used to solitude. Not having Mark around  was difficult. But it was mostly his choice. He decided to put his career on the first place. He wanted to focus. It was his right of course. You had no option but to let him go.

If he wanted to be a big famous star dancing on the stage and not your boyfriend then sure. Be my guest sir.

But his call after two months took you by surprise. He tried to make some distance between you and it worked for you. It was easier to forget. So why now?

„Yeah? What is it?“

„Y/N I need to speak with you.“

„You are.“

„Not like this. Can we grab a lunch or something?“

You agreed – why not on the other hand.

But his mood was way different than you expected. He was agitated.

„I need you to listen to me. I’ve thought about this so much.. I can say I know.. I am sure. if you’re still in… I’m in. I want you in my life.“ His face was was sicere.

„Mark, that’s very nice.. but what about me?“

He opened his mouth with quizzicial brows but you cut him „I’m afraid you’ll leave me hanging there again…I was very confused y’know.. I tried to forget about you. Now you want to make me go through that again?“

„I never forgot about my love for you.“ He said firmly.

JB

(don’t take this as a prediction or sth - I just think this suits JB the best than it would to others)

You were pretty confident about leaving JB behind. Seeing his eyes behind the glass door didn’t give you any kind of sad emotinos. It was his fault.

He tried to contact you a few times after your break up, but you didn’t care. The betryal he did, the pain it caused, was much worse than you were able to tolerate.  

Maybe it was your ability to overcome bad relationships or simply the fact that you were not the guilty one. You were not the type of girlfriend who’d not give him enough space or suffocated him with messages and calls whenever he wasn’t around. Quite the opposite.  So what was his urge to sleep with another girl? When Yugyeom accidentally slipped a tongue and revealed that JB had a woman on their tour, it hit you hard.

But not as hard as you hit him afterwards.

The probability of you meeting him in your favourite café was low. Yet it happened.

You two looked at each other both horror on your faces. You were shocked he dares to show up in place he knows you like. His face changed quickly from shock to worries and his gaze softened. Like if he tried to approach you.

You told your friend next to you to get the bill and you both walked away sooner than he got the chance.

On your way home you phone buzzed.

„Yes?“

„Y/N, it’s me.“

„How...?“

„I took my friend‘s phone so you’d pick it up.“

He convinced you to listen to him. He started a monolouge about his painful life without you, how lonely and guilty he feels and his unability to forget you.

„Jaebum I’ve heard this all before. Don’t you think you caused a great deal of pain to me as well? Don’t I deserve a bit of respect?“

„You do. I’m sorry for not respecting you enough, now I know… I’ve been thinking a lot… about your pain…how could I ever hurt you again.. I can’t see you in pain, you’re mine.“

„Not anymore.“

„Y/N, please…just one dinner. I need to talk to you face to face.“

Jackson

He wouldn’t let you breathe since your fierce break up. He cried more than you actually. But his lack of time on you was something you couldn’t overcome.

„I’m tired of being home alone, Jacks!“ you cried at him once more. His eyes already filled with tears teared up again. His hands were shaking. You could feel how upset he was. He came after a week of calls and messages to you and here he was. Standing at your door and begging for another chance.

„I know I didn’t give you the attention you deserve I’m sorry..“

„I don’t give a damn about your sorrys tell me one thing – why??“ you whispered with cracked voice „Am I not enough? Am I not worthy of your time?“

His puppy eyes glared on the floor, he breathed and nodded a few times like he was plucking up courage „I was very confused and… I was afraid.. I hesitated.. if I’m good enough for you.. if I can protect you.. be there for you when you need me.. please forgive me.“ He finally looked at you. With soft yet broken gaze.

He never confessed like this ever before. He was more like hiding the sad or serious issues and here he was. Opening his heart to its deepest.

„How you can you be so sure now?“ you asked.

„Because I’ve missed you so much girl…“

Jinyoung

You two actually didn’t even break up. But why would you - if he wouldn’t talk to you. He had head filled with his work on new movie he even forgott about your birthday. But that wasn’t the worst.

You gave up calling him after you got sick and your friend had to come over to look after you.

„Where is Jinyoung?“ asked Mark when he first got to your place. He was furious.

„He’s working on his new movie…“ you said and coughed a few times.

„New movie my ass..“ he muttered and rushed to the kitchen to make you some tea.

„I really think he’s just overworked..“ you tried to excuse your boyfriend. Of course it hurt. But Jinyoung was a busy man after all.

„Overworked to look after his sick girlfriend?“ raised Mark his voice looking at you from the distance. You were lying on the couch. Your eyes teared up as he said the painful truth outloud.

„Don’t call him, okay? I did it and if he won’t come it’s his choice.“ You whispered and turned back to pretend sleep.

You didn’t know Mark went straight to call Jinyoung after you really fell asleep.

He screamed at him for a few minutes before Jinyoung understood you are sick and need him. After that he arrived in 20 minutes.The pain of guilt was unbearable for him. He was so shocked by his own behaviour he could barely talk.

„Where is she?“ he asked with fears. Mark looked at him with cold gaze and didn’t answer. He just shook his shoulders and muttered a few insults.

Jinyoung headed to the living room and found you on the couch. It hit him hard seeing you like this.

„Babe I’m so sorry..“ he said and sat down next to you.

You found his eyes. You felt the fever going up.

„I called you….“ You whispered.

„I know…“ his eyes sparkled with tears and he looked down.

„You ignored me.. not answering even my emergency calls..“ you continued and felt his hand in yours. With every word he shook his head a bit. Denying your words and not wanting to face the truth.

„I’m sorry..“

You finally bursted with cry, tears rolling down and sobbing „You left me there waiting..“

„I’m here now ..“ he pressed his forhead on yours and sobbed too.

[scottybrock]

Some Day - Colby Brock

A/N: Requested by a beautiful anon: “hey! can you do one of Colby and he pranks the reader (his gf) by proposing to her and she see's the camera and does a reverse prank, like Sam did to Kat, Thx!”

Colby grinned at the camera. “What’s up, guys! Colby Brock here,” He nearly tripped over his own feet, almost smacking his head into the wall opposite of him. He stood up, clearing his throat. “Reggie, cut that out,” He muttered under his breath. He beamed at the camera once more. “Today, I’m going to be pranking my beautiful girlfriend.” He raised an eyebrow mock-curiously. “What prank, you may be asking?” He asked rhetorically. A maniacal grin spread across his face. “I’m going to be proposing to her,” He paused. “Not really, but she’ll think that I am. Shoutout to Sam for this idea.” 

He set his camera up in the corner of the living room. It was sitting covertly on his kitchen counter, or so he thought. Colby collapsed down onto his couch, waiting for you to come over. You lived in the same apartment complex of your boyfriend, just on the floor below him.

You and Colby had been dating for almost a year and a half. It was the best year and a half of your life. Colby made you smile when it felt like you never could again. He made you laugh, when you felt like all you wanted to do was cry. He believed in you when it felt like no one else did, and he loved you with all of his heart. He made you feel like you were the most beautiful person in the whole wide world, even when you were just wearing a ratty t-shirt and baggy sweatpants. 

However, it wasn’t just one-sided. The past year and a half was the happiest Colby had been in a while. You made him smile when it felt like he never could again. You were the funniest person he’d ever met, but you were never mean about it. You were sweet and kind, but you weren’t a pushover. Your generosity had no bounds, and you would drop anything to help your friends. You cheered the loudest when he succeeded, and you were there to help him up when he fell. You were so beautiful; the most beautiful person he’d ever met in his life. But what was important was that you were just as beautiful on the inside.

A sharp knock on his door shook him out of his thoughts. “Come in,” He called. The door slowly swung open, revealing a grinning beauty on the other side. “Where’s the food?” You asked, smiling at your boyfriend. Colby laughed, shaking his head in amusement. “It’s on its way, baby,” He replied. It was date night. The two of you preferred when date night was at either his place or yours, so the two of you could just relax, away from public scrutiny. “I swear, you only like date night because we order out,” Colby teased.

“That’s absolutely true,” You agreed, your voice playful. “I only like date night because it’s the one night we’re allowed to pig out.” You paused, looking him up and down. “I suppose the company is alright,” You drawled, smirking at him. Colby laughed, but his expression changed into one of nervousness, one of uncertainty. You kicked off your shoes and walked towards him, your brows furrowing slightly. You placed a gentle hand on his arm, your expression melting into one of concern. “Hey, you alright, Colbs?” You asked. You reached up to cup his face in your hands. “You look a little pale, babe.”

Suddenly, Colby dropped down to one knee. It was your turn to look nervous. “What…” You trailed off when you spotted the camera in the corner of the room. Your lips flattened into a thin line, and you narrowed your eyes at your boyfriend, who didn’t notice the change in your demeanor, because he was fumbling around in his pockets, muttering something about a missing ring. You smirked to yourself, nodding along to your thoughts. Colby wanted to prank you, but what he didn’t know, was that you were going to prank him back, ten times harder. 

Finally, Colby managed to tug the small box containing a rather pretty silver band with a tiny diamond on it. You forced your jaw to drop, staring into your lover’s beautiful blue eyes. “What the fuck are you doing?!” You demanded, your eyes wide with shock. Colby grinned, reaching for your left hand. “Baby,” He began. “You make me so fucking happy. You make me want to be a better person, someone who deserves your love. I’m so in love with you, baby, and I really want you to marry me. I want to be with you, forever.” 

Unbelievably, your eyes watered at his impassioned speech. Even though it was a prank, Colby, surprisingly, was really good with words. You stared down at him, tears leaking out of the corners of your eyes. Hopefully one day, Colby would be the one to do this for real, to propose to you sans camera, just the two of you. You finally found your voice. “...What?” You gasped, tugging your hand out of Colby’s. Your hand immediately felt the loss of contact, and you stifled a whimper at the loss. “Colby…” You murmured, batting your eyelashes at him. “Yeah, I’ll marry you.” 

Colby’s cheeks flushed. He couldn’t wait to do this in a few years, for real. He was going to marry you, he was sure of it. Hearing you say that you wanted to marry him, made his heart practically beat out of his chest. “Really?” He stammered, his bright blue eyes wide with shock. You nodded joyfully, extending your hand for him to take once more. He slid the dainty silver ring onto your finger, his hands shaking as he did so. God, he couldn’t wait to do this for real. 

“Now,” You chirped, your expression bright and lively. “We need to join bank accounts. Also, we should start looking for houses!” Colby opened his mouth to reply, but you cut him off. You tried your hardest not to crack up when you saw how ghostly pale Colby’s face had gotten. “When do you want to have kids?” You asked. Colby’s eyes widened so far, you feared they’d pop straight out of his skull. “I want to be pregnant within the next two years.” You told him eagerly, your lips trembling with suppressed laughter. 

Colby gulped. Loudly. “Uh, baby…” He tried, but you cut him off. “Also, I just want you to know that while I appreciate your effort to prank me,” You pointed at the camera that was not so well hidden on the kitchen counter. “You should probably know that this is a reverse prank, bitch ass!”

Colby’s jaw dropped, his bright blue eyes widening even more. “How the fuck-?!” He cut himself off, shaking his head. “So, you knew it was a prank, this whole time?” He demanded, his lips twitching with held-in laughter. You nodded gleefully. “Saw the camera as soon as you got down on one knee,” You replied smugly. Colby stood up, wrapping an arm around your waist and guiding you to the couch. “I almost shit myself when you started talking about joint bank accounts and houses and kids,” Colby pretended to shudder. You laughed, punching him in the shoulder playfully. “I know,” You cackled. “You looked like you were going to heave.” 

Colby shook his head, his smile never wavering. He stood up to go turn his camera off. Before he could walk away, you grabbed his hand, making him pause in his actions. “I do want that, one day,” You told him, your voice shy and soft. You risked a glance up at him. “With you.” You clarified. 

Colby’s expression brightened, and he dropped back onto the couch next to you. “Yeah,” He agreed. “Me too.” His smile was soft and sweet. “With you.” He tacked on at the end, his smile turning impossibly softer, his pretty blue eyes twinkling at you.

 You beamed back at him. “Some day?” You asked, raising your pinky to him. His gaze fell onto the pretty silver ring that you had yet to take off. His smile widened, and he nodded. He linked his pinky finger with yours, shaking on it. “Some day.” He promised.

[jawnjendes]

no one can replace me | shawn mendes

university au SUMMER, shawn x goth gf/oc

masterlist | playlist

**let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist

Days off were meant for sleeping in and being comfortably lazy. I slept until 2PM, far later than I ever slept before, and I felt anything but comfortable. The only productive thing I did was move myself from the bed to the couch in the living room, taking the massive comforter with me. Shawn wasn't home, so I was able to binge as much Grey's Anatomy in order to fill the void in my chest as I could. I really thought I would be able to sleep off the void…

I was lying on my side, a dead look on my face, but I was still invested in a particularly emotional episode. As sad as it was to see Jo Karev's life fall to pieces, it felt almost cathartic to cry over that than my own crap. I cried a lot these days, it was very unlike me. However, I still made sure to keep it private. I didn't want my boyfriend worrying about me anymore than he already did.

It was after 5 o’clock when I heard the lock on the front door jiggle, indicating that Shawn was home. I quickly grabbed the remote and switched to some 90s cartoon. The swift movement of reaching for the remote on the table was a deep contrast compared to how I’ve been all day, so it left me winded and fatigued. Although, the fatigue wasn’t just from moving or the cuts on my belly. I couldn’t even sit up to greet my boyfriend.

Shawn seemed unfazed by my potato state as his footsteps were constant through the apartment. His steps got closer, and I saw him standing by me from my peripherals. Wordlessly, Shawn placed a black gift back on the coffee table, directly in front of my line of vision.

The bag was shiny, and had purple tissue paper sticking out of the top. Just the sight of it caused my brows to knit together.

“Why…?” I asked, my voice unnaturally soft.

“It’s a peace offering,” Shawn explained, “and it’s also an anniversary gift. Come on, sit up.”

I didn’t need the help anymore, but Shawn still went to my side and supported my waist as I sat up straight. Then, I leaned over and grabbed the gift bag, pulling out the tissue. Inside was a red box with the white Nintendo Switch logo on. I pulled it out and discovered a pro controller, and my mouth fell open. This was the limited edition, white controller with the Princess Zelda design. I was rendered speechless.

“We hit six months a couple of weeks ago,” Shawn explained. “I think you were in surgery, so we missed it. And I know you love Zelda, and I know you’ve mentioned this controller before.”

“How many oversized bears did you have to fight to get this?” I finally asked.

Shawn laughed. “Well, it was the last one at EB Games. I saw one guy looking at it when I walked in, so I snatched it when he wasn’t looking.”

A small smile creeped up on my face as I stared at the controller in wonder. It was a sweet gesture, given the absolute bullshit that happened yesterday. “Thank you. I can’t wait to use it.” Then I placed the box back on the table. “I have something for you too.”

“You do?” Shawn smiled, pleasantly surprised.

I nodded and got up from the couch. I felt bad about how our sixth month was spent, even if it was all out of our control. Obviously, there was no time to get him a gift like what he had gotten me, but I did have something in mind. I didn’t think we would still be here for this to happen.

I found my black, tattered wallet and went back out to the living room. As cliche and cheesy as it was, I had to say a few words before presenting the thing. “I’m not gonna lie, my pessimistic ass and my mile high walls made me think we wouldn’t make it this far.”

“Good start,” Shawn replied, mildly amused.

“But,” I continued, “I’m glad I was proved wrong, so uh…” I unzipped my wallet and poked around through one of the credit card pockets.

“You’re giving me money?”

“Shut up.”

It took a minute to get the tiny item out of the tight pocket, but I got it. I presented Shawn with a red guitar pick. The label on it had scratched off long ago, but that’s okay. It wasn’t about the condition of the pick.

“A long time ago, I saw Rise Against in concert,” I told him. “It was… honestly, probably one of the happiest days of my life. I went with my cousin, and she convinced me to mosh our way to the barriers. We did, and I got hit in the face on the way, but we made it to the front. I had a nosebleed, and the lead singer noticed that. He actually saw blood all over my face, and he gave me his pick.” I paused. “That pick means a lot to me, and you mean a lot to me, so I figured I should put those two things together.”

Shawn was looking at the pick in the palm of his hand as he listened to my story. The smile on his face only grew with every word, and he was beaming when he finally met my eyes. Then, he stood up, towering over me with open arms.

“I love it, and I love you.” He gently cupped my face and pulled me in for a kiss.

Feeling his lips against mine brought back certain feelings I hadn’t felt in a hot minute. My arms went around his middle, gently scrunching up the back of his t-shirt and feeling the skin underneath. Shawn smiled against my lips.

“Mm, so we’re celebrating our anniversary today?” I asked when we broke apart.

“I guess we are,” he replied, twirling a strand of my hair between his fingers. “What do you wanna do?”

“Quiet night in?” I suggested, wiggling my eyebrows.

He thought about it. “Well… we spend a lot of time between these walls. How about a movie?”

That threw me off a little bit. Shawn never said no to spending the night together between the sheets. But he was right though, we needed to get out of this apartment. “Yeah, we can do a movie.”

~

As much of a homebody as I am, it felt nice to leave the apartment for a little bit. It felt good to doll myself up for a date night. I missed carving out my eyebrows and wearing black eyeshadow. I missed wearing my long, black cardigan and combat boots.

Shawn and I went to the theatre downtown and caught the newest Disney film, on his choosing. That was only because the last time we went to the movies, I made the choice. The last time we went to the movies was also when I started feeling pain, but I didn’t want to bring that up.

I stayed away from literally every food offered at the theatre, and not just because of my mandatory diet. Shawn didn’t eat anything either, so I wasn’t alone. That gave us more time to cuddle on the fancy reclining seats in the theatre. It was pretty much what we would do at home, except we were bound by society’s rules to stay quiet for the duration of the movie.

It was a lovely time. Going to the movies was the one thing to get us out of our heads for a little bit. We didn’t have to talk, we could just be with each other. The mood was light and sweet, and it followed us back into the car.

But, you know… light and dark. Things are always balanced.

Shawn turned on the radio as soon as he roared the car to life. Of course, of fucking course, the Halsey song of my nightmares (as opposed to Nightmare, which is a bop) was in the middle of playing. Things within me turned in a second, and everything lost its color. Half of me wanted to punch the radio into silence, and the other half wanted me to curl up in a ball and let the void take me away. Luca’s words came out of the tiny box in my mind and circled around me.

“I probably know you better than Shawn does. And you hate that, huh?”

My breathing went short again, and I could only hear that directly in my ears. I squeezed my hands into fists, trying to bring myself back to Earth.

“You’re not singing,” Shawn pointed out. “I thought you loved this song.”

I wanted to talk, wanted to explain. But we just had a good evening, and I didn’t want to cry all over it. When did I become such an emotional mess?

I shook my head in response.

He glanced at me every so often, but he kept his eyes on the road. “No, you don’t like this song?” he asked.

Once again, I shook my head.

“Okay, I’ll change it.”

The song stopped, and then Shawn reached for my hand. My mood kept on. My legs felt numb, and my hands felt tingly and weird. I walked carefully when we got back to the apartment, like I was going to dismember myself and collapse. I followed Shawn’s steps, bringing all the grey with me.

“I know you’re a quiet person,” he said as we entered the bedroom, “but this is just weird. Are you okay?”

This would be something I’d take up with Callie, but I was no longer her patient. That was on my own doing, so I couldn’t be mad. There were a lot of feelings built up in my chest, and I couldn’t name a majority of them. That was why I needed Callie.

I also needed to bring my spirit back into my body. Without thinking, I slammed the palm of my hand on the bedroom door. The loud smack! startled Shawn, but the sting caused me to make a face and ground me once again.

“Sorry,” I mumbled. “I felt like I was floating…”

He was just as speechless. “Uh… do you - should I…?”

“I don’t know what’s wrong,” I told him, my eyes still staring off into space. “I mean, I do, but… I don’t.”

“Should I be worried?” he asked.

“No?”

“Did something happen?”

“Yes?”

“Okay, let’s start there.”

We sat at the foot of the bed. Shawn gave me an expectant look, but I was still silent for a moment. Perhaps I was just overreacting and being a little too dramatic.

“I had a conversation with Luca,” I started, suddenly hesitant. “Nothing bad, just… I don’t know.”

“What did he do?” Shawn asked. “I know you said not to worry, but I’m a little worried.”

I explained the inexplicably off putting conversation I had with Luca, rubbing my hands together sporadically. It was probably confusing without know our entire history, but that was a whole other spiel. They say talking it out helps, but I just felt like I was getting crazier by the second. I felt like I was just overreacting.

“Listen,” Shawn said when I finished rambling, “I don’t love that he knows you so well either. I definitely don’t love what most of your relationship consisted of. But you’ve known each other for a couple of years, much longer than you and I have known each other. He’s just trying to get to you.”

“I know. He loves to challenge me. Normally, I don’t care, and I’m used to it, but this one fucked me up.”

Shawn nodded. “Is that why you slept most of the day?”

“Was it that obvious?”

“I can tell when you’re sleep deprived now. Like, you wear a lot of black, but you look… comfortable and at peace with it. When you're tired, or sad... you look like the world ended."

He held his hand open on my lap, and I laced our fingers together. Was this a weird situation? Was it weird to talk about your ex to your current person?

“Can I tell you something?” Shawn asked after a minute.

“Yeah.” I had to stop myself from sounding too eager. At this point, I’d give anything to not talk about me and my shit anymore. I think I was thinking too hard about this whole thing.

He shifted a little bit, the way one does when they’re about to drop some scalding tea. “When I was seventeen, I dated this girl. Well, I thought I was dating her. She asked me to be her boyfriend, but the only time we spent together was in the backseat of her car, or at her house when her parents weren’t home. She really didn’t want much from me, apart from the obvious.”

“She was playing you,” I replied.

“And I one hundred percent knew it,” Shawn added with a chuckle. “But I really liked her, so I let her do what she wanted. I guess you could say that’s one reason why I was never in a serious, stable relationship until now. It’s like you say, I couldn’t trust anyone.”

That was certainly a side of Shawn I hadn’t heard of. He told me he didn’t have much experience with his love life. Then, I found out he slept around much like I did. Now, I found out he had his own version of Luca. Why was I labeled the mysterious one?

“How come you never told me this before?” I asked him.

He shrugged. “We all have things we don’t talk about. I’m sure there’s still things you haven’t told me.”

“Yeah… yeah, that’s true.”

“So just know, you’re not the only one with a toxic ex. I know how you feel.”

At least he doesn’t work with his ex. At least his anxiety wasn’t intensified to the point of isolation and self destruction. Plus, it was easier for Shawn to open up than it was for me. His heart was in the right place, though. His big, warm heart made my stone cold one beat a little faster, I knew that much.

"You know how powerless you are being with someone like that," I said without realizing what I was doing.

"Yeah," he said. "You know they're not good for you, they only want you at their convenience, but you'd do anything for them."

Oof, he really does know.

"But," he added, "it feels so much better when you're finally free of them. And it feels fucking great to be in a much better place than they are. Realizing you deserve better is like waking up from a bad dream."

"It's like coming up for fresh air."

Shawn looked at me, eyes sparkling. He now held my hand in both of his. "Meeting you was like coming up for fresh air."

I smiled, and placed my one free hand over his. "I know that quote is from Grey's, you can't fool me."

"Hey, can I not relate heavily to the words of Derek Shepherd?" he said with a laugh.

He wasn't wrong. I related a lot of lyrics from his own songs, but I could tell him that another time.

_____

taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @mendesromano @ilsolee @1-800-khalid-mendussy 

[littlemarvelfics]

Come Back... Chapter Seven

Pairing: Bucky x Reader Word Count: about 2,100 Warnings: cheating mention, drinking kinda

A/N: Hello hello! There’s gonna be a second note at the bottom so check that out as well. Thank you as always for reading. Shoot me your comments or tag requests here. And check out the series masterlist here or my main masterlist here. Thanks y’all!

Previous Chapter

You pulled yourself from Josh’s embrace.

“Why are you here?”

“Why wouldn't I be? You wanted to spend time together right? Well, I'm here. Let's spend time together,” he responded.

You felt everyone's eyes on you as you battled what to do. Not wanting to cause a scene, you rolled your eyes and walked over to where Clint and Natasha were throwing darts. You could feel Bucky's eyes watching you but when you turned to look at him, he looked away.

The night continued on that way for a while, Josh seemingly always on his phone until you moved closer to Bucky, then he would suddenly be by your side, draping himself all over you. You could smell on his breath that he was drinking and from his movements, you could tell that he was already drunk.

You walked over to the bar and Josh followed behind quickly. You leaned over the bar and ordered yourself a Jack and Coke. Josh had set his phone down on the bar to get his wallet out and you happened to glance down. There, plain as day, you saw a texted from someone called ‘Alyssa’.

“Hey baby done with the gf yet? Come home to meeeee”

You could see that there was a picture attached to the message but you had no interest in seeing what it was. Josh looked over at you and he instantly knew something was wrong. Tears were forming in your eyes and you wouldn't look directly at Josh. He reached out and touched your arm.

“Baby? What's wrong?”

You slapped his hand away.

“Don't you fucking touch me. Who the hell is Alyssa?” You hissed.

“Who?”

“Don't you dare try and play fucking dumb with me! Who the fuck is Alyssa?”

“She's a girl I know.”

“And just how well do you know her?”

Josh started to answer but you cut him off.

“How long have you been screwing her behind my back?”

Josh sighed.

“A few months.”

“A few months? So all those nights with the guys? All those nights I was waiting in OUR apartment for you to come home, you were fucking her?”

“Yes but baby, I love you! She was a mistake. She didn't mean anything. I just slipped up. Me and you we started fighting and I slipped up. I made a mistake baby, please don't overreact.”

“I can’t do this right now,” you mumbled, turning to leave the bar.

You knew your group of friends were confused as you jogged towards the exit, you could explain to them later but you heard Josh calling to you as he followed you out. You just needed to be away from everyone else at that moment. Maybe some fresh air would clear your head. You weren't looking when you walked out the door, crashing straight into Bucky who grabbed your arms so you wouldn't topple over.

When you looked up at Bucky with tears in your eyes and running down your cheeks, his grip tightened on you.

“Y/N, doll what happened? Are you okay?”

You shook your head and tried to answer.

“I… um…. Josh he… and I…” you stuttered out.

He didn't hesitate before pulling you into his chest, holding you close in an attempt to calm you down. You heard a scoff behind you.  

“Of course. Of course, you run to him.”

Bucky pulled away from you and protectively moved you behind him.

“I think it’s time for you to go,” he said sternly.

“I’m not leaving until I talk to Y/N,” Josh replied.

By this point, Steve and Peggy had come outside to see if they could check up on you. Peggy spotted you with your head resting on Bucky’s back and a death grip on his hand. She rushed over.

“Y/N, sweetie, what's wrong?”

“Nothing!” Josh interrupted. “She's just being dramatic like usual! Y/N get in the car and let’s go!”

Bucky started to respond but Peggy beat him to it.

“I'm not talking to you, you sniveling little shit, so shut your goddamn mouth.”

She turned back to you and starting rubbing your back trying to get you to talk.

“He’s… he's been cheating on me,” you whispered.

That was all Bucky needed to hear. Steve saw the look in his best friend’s eyes and knew things were about to go from bad to worse quickly.

“Y/N, Peggy, let’s go back inside for a minute.”

You shook your head and pressed in closer to Bucky. He felt your resistance and turned around, putting his hands on your shoulders and leaning down to your eye level.

“Y/N, I need you to go inside with Steve and Peg okay?”

You started to protest when Bucky cut you off.

“Please, doll. We both know I gotta do this.”

You looked into his blue eyes and nodded slightly. Bucky looked over to Steve who put his arm around your shoulders and guided you back into the bar.

Steve sat you on a stool not too far from the door and grabbed you a glass of water. A few moments later, you heard shouting coming from outside and feet shuffling on the concrete. You knew exactly what Bucky was doing. He had never been a violent person. Bucky would never hit someone for anything they did to him. But God help them if they did anything to someone he cared about.

Not long after the shouting started, there was no more noise coming from outside. Bucky came bursting through the bar door, chest heaving and looking around frantically. When his eyes landed on you he walked over quickly, settling his bruised hands on your arms.

“Are you okay sweetheart?”

“Yeah, I just don't wanna be here anymore,” you sighed.

“Okay, I’m taking you back though.”

You just nodded and jumped off your bar stool. You quickly hugged Peggy and Steve while apologizing for the mess. They quickly brushed it off and said they would see you at the wedding tomorrow. Bucky kept his hand on your lower back as he guided you over to the truck he had been driving while you had his Jeep. He opened the passenger door for you and waited for you to slide in. You hesitated.

“Buck? I don't wanna be alone tonight.”

He smiled.

“Alright doll, come back to my place.”

You settled into the car with Bucky and he started driving. The radio was playing softly in the background and you smiled. The song that was playing was the same one that you and Bucky had your first ‘real’ kiss to all those years ago. You glanced over at Bucky and judging from the smirk on his face, he had been thinking about the same thing.

It didn't take long for you to arrive at Bucky's home. It was a beautiful smaller house, painted a light gray with white trim. The yard was neatly kept and you expected the inside looked the same. You were proven right when Bucky opened the door and gestured for you to go inside. He said something about getting clothes and left you alone to wander around. You looked at the books on his living room table, the art hanging on the walls before you spotted a mantle full of pictures. Some were newer and some were older, Bucky had pictures of his family and friends and upon closer inspection, he also had a picture of the two of you up.

It was at a bonfire, although you couldn't remember much about that exact night- they had all started to blend together through the years. You did remember how you and Bucky had become the subject of this particular photo. Wanda, always a sucker for anything vintage, had gotten a Polaroid camera earlier in the week and had spent most o the night snapping pictures of everyone. This picture was a little on the blurry side but you could tell it was you and Bucky. You were sitting on a bench together, you face tucked into his chest, laughing at something someone had said and there was no doubt about it, the boy in that photo was in love with that girl. He was looking down at you and grinning. Even though the blur of the photo you could see it in his eyes. He was madly in love with you.

“That's my favorite picture of us,” Bucky commented, making you jump since you didn't hear him come up behind you.

“Yeah,” you sighed. “It’s really nice.”

“Here,” Bucky said, handing you a pile of his clothes. “I thought you might want something to change into so you were a little more comfortable. The bathroom is around the corner if you don't wanna get naked in my living room.”

You chuckled and mumbled a ‘thanks’ before heading in the direction Bucky had indicated. As you walked into the bathroom, you faced the mirror and took in your reflection. Your eyes were red and puffy from crying, your makeup was running everywhere and your hair was a mess from running your fingers through it. You sighed deeply. How had things gotten this bad? You knew Josh wasn't the best guy anymore but you didn't think he would cheat on you. Deciding not to dwell on it, you splashed some water on your face and used a few tissues to try and remove your makeup. You looked in one of Bucky’s drawers and found a hair tie so you pulled your hair back and up out of your face. You changed into the clothes Bucky had given you, a soft old tee shirt and sweatpants, then headed back out to find him.

He was sitting on the couch with his feet propped up on the coffee table. He was wearing sweatpants similar to yours and tank top which drew your attention to the scarring on his left shoulder that you hadn't seen before. Bucky noticed you observing him.

“Happened when I was overseas. A blast went up, burned my shoulder pretty bad. Could've been worse though,” he said to answer your silent question.

You moved across the room and sat down facing him, tucking your legs underneath you. You glanced at the TV and noticed a rerun of Friends was on.

“How are you doing?” You started. “After coming back from all that I mean.”

“It was really bad when I first came back. I had night terror almost every night. I still have them sometimes, and my anxiety is probably a lot worse than when we were kids. I don't think any of it will ever completely go away but I've learned to cope.”

“I’m so sorry Buck. God, I just abandoned you. All of you. But you went to war and I just never checked on you or Steve.”

“Hey don't apologize for that. I hurt you and you had every right to be mad at me. I know I don't deserve a second chance with you. Even if it’s just as friends.”

“I said before all is forgiven, Buck. I meant it. Everything just got so messed up. I left this town and maybe I left part of myself here,” you sighed.

“Can I ask you something? Two something's actually?”

You nodded.  

“Why’d you quit writing? You were so talented Y/N. And why did you ever start dating that prick?”

“I don't know why I stopped writing. I told myself and everyone else it was a money thing. And that's at least a little true but it was more than that. I think I was so scared of failing that I just never tried. Because you can't fail at something if you never try to succeed at it,” you answered honestly. “As for Josh… he wasn't always this bad. He was so sweet until we moved in together and I thought that maybe that was just what happened to people who lived together. And maybe I started believing all the stuff he was telling me. So I stayed. Because it was easier than facing the fact that I met the love of my life when I was eight and I had already lost him.”

Bucky had taken your hand while you were speaking and with his free hand he wiped away the stray tears that had begun to fall. You leaned into his touch and smiled a little. Bucky leaned in towards you and. You reciprocated his gesture. Just before your lips were about to meet, there was a pounding at his front door.

Bucky sighed and shook his head.

“Hold that thought doll.”

You watched as Bucky got up off the couch and walked over to answer the door.

“James Barnes?” A gruff voice asked.

“Yeah, that's me. Can I help you?”

You couldn't see who Bucky was talking to but you could hear the confusion in his voice.

“You need to come with us. You’re under arrest.”

Next Chapter

A/N(2): CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT THIS ENDING?! What do you guy think is gonna happen to Buck? Let’s chat!

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EVERYTHING TAGS: @sea040561@jamesbarnesappreciationsociety@quotemeow @janeyboo  @randomparanoid   @hauanjsdbkss

[sweetpxsin]

SK: When you kiss another guy in a drama without telling them

Requested:Anon

Member: Strays Kids

Plot: Hey :D Could I get a Stray Kids reaction when their gf needs to kiss someone else in a Drama and she didn't tell them about it? Like their finding out by watching it (sorry for any mistakes I'm from Germany hahaha)

Genre: fluff

Note: it’s obvious to tell which members I had the most fun writing for :,,) i swear this was no way biased just personal opinion

[ Master list // Guidelines // Request ]

[ C H A N ]

•Pouty Chan all day 24/7 till you finally noticed that he was being sulky

•and he’d refuse to admit his jealousy

•”Chan what’s wrongggg.”

•”nothing.”

•He was being so pouty with his arms crossed and everything you couldn’t resist the urge to tease the answer out of him

•”Chan~ Channie! What’s wrong”

•chan would sigh dramatically and even slouch down the couch no longer able to be pouty about it especially if you were going to call him by his nickname

•”Chan!!!!”

•*another deep heavy sigh*

•”sigh one more time are me and I will slap you.”

•”with your lips gladly.” *sighs heavily again*

•”e-excuse me?”

•chan being Chan he’d aggressively pull you towards him just so that you sat on his lap before he placed a soft kiss against your lips

•afterwards he sigh in content and just be honest about why he was being moppy

•”I didn’t like that you kissed another guy especially without telling me.” Even though he was trying to be mature about it he’d still have a whiny tone to his voice

•”I’m sorry.”

•”your crime needs to paid with the currency of kisses and currently you owe me 20.”

•”Cha-.”

•”OH MY HEART MY POOR OLD HEART MY LOVE NO LONGER LOVES-“

•you shut him up with a kiss causing a giggle and a huge smile to emerge from his lips

•”only 19 more to go~”

[ W O O J I N ]

•super whiny and touchy

•like the moment you woke up his arms were already wrapped around you before he started rolling the both of you around on the bed saying your name in a whiney singsong voice

•and at first you thought it was because he missed you but boy were you wrong

•his cuddles didn’t last before and truth be told his grip on you was only so he could interrogate you

•”so I’m still the best kisser ever right?”

•”I mean not to toot my own horn but I’m totally the best right?”

•”uhm Woojin what’s up?”

•”oh you know you didn’t like just kiss another guy but like psh that not why am asking.”

•”aww is my big beaw jealous?”

•of course his jealous act would falter as he pursed his lips into a pout suddenly turning soft in your hands

•he was being so cute that you couldn’t help but cup his face in your hands and pepper his face with kisses

•”I love you, you know that right?”

•”I love you too.”

•a smile would be on both of your faces as you both admire the other in comfortable silence

•”and for the record your kisses are the best.”

[ M I N H O ]

•purposely plays the episode where  you kiss the other dude in, right in front of your face

•well not really but his head would constantly be turning from you to the tv to see if you were paying any attention

•and if you weren’t he’d clear his throat over dramatically to get your attention

•”What is this conspiracy?? There’s only two places your lips should be and it’s either your face or on mine.”

•it would have sounded super possessive if it wasn’t for how whiny he had made his pitch

•and for the pout he was sporting afterwards

•”It didn’t even look good! Just another dead drama kiss.”

•”aigoo don’t be jealous Minmin(don’t ask)”

•”I am not.”

•”are too.”

•”am not.”

•and after a while he’d cross his arms more, purse his lips further and sink himself further into the couch

•and he wouldn’t return from his jealous until you shower this boy in kisses and cuddles

•only then would he uncross his arms to pull you closer, in a giggly fit

[ C H A N G B I N  

•okay but have you ever seen petty Changbin?

•The moment he found out you had to kiss some in the drama you were acting was the moment Changbin turned super jealous and petty, partly because you didn’t tell him

•”I’m the better kisser right.”

•”excuse me?”

•”It was a dead kiss always.”

•”What???”

•”the kiss in the drama you acted in for Chris sake!”

•after those words left Changbin’s lips your jaw dropped slightly before a giggle escaped your lips as he began to pout

•”is Binnie binnie Changbinnie jealous?” You teased

•”jealous I don’t know her.”

•it was obvious he was a dejected from the way his arms were crossed and how he cutely pursed his lips, despite his clapbacks

•So to make it up to him you crawled into his lap and pecked his lips lightly, cupping his face in the processes

•”of course my changbinnie is the best kisser”

•at first he’d be a little embarrassed but at the sound of your words his prideful smile would return and he’d pull you into another kiss before hugging you tightly

[ H Y U N J I N ]

•sour asf about it

•like will literally say “so um you want to say something to me?”

•”good morning?”

•”nope try again.”

•”uhm...hi?”

•”nope try thinking of something that would cause such betrayal.perhaps something you did on tv?”

•it took you awhile to understand what he was getting at

•but when you did find out the way he towered over your form with crossed arms and a frown had suddenly turned a lot cuter

•”awww is my bby boy jealous?”

•”no..”

•”you know that kiss meant nothing right?”

•he’d whine a little when you stand on your tippy toes to lightly pinch his cheeks

•”you could have told me.” He’d  say still holding his childish manner up

•”I’m sorry baby.”

•Hyunjin would ponder over it a bit before deciding he can’t be upset with you any longer before giggling and dipping down to your height to kiss you

[ J I S U N G ]

•”How could you?”

•”How could I What?”

•”I trusted you”

•”okay?”

•”and you’re just gonna betray me like that?”

•”que?!!??”

•Jisung would cross his arms and refuse to look at you, his chin up was he turn his head

•”Jisung would you care to enlighten me on such event I have no idea I took part in?”

•without even moving his head he’d reach for his phone and show you the screenshots he had waiting for the moment

•”evidence number one.”

•”Jisun-“

•”IM NOT DONE WOMAN I SUFFERED TAKING THESE SCREENSHOTS MY HEART IS CRYING MY BOOTS ARE SHAKING AND MY PETTY LEVELS ARE BEYOND WHAT MY BODY CAN HANDLE. EVIDENCE NUMBER tWO...okay proceed I only could take two sceemshots.”

•he’d fake a sob and even peek to see your reaction

•”Jisung bby it’s hard to take you seriously when you act like that.”

•”ahem it’s detective Jisung excuse you.”

•“Right..”

•”CAN YOU JUST TAKE THE HINT AND KISS ME MOTHER OF GO-“

•you cut him off with a swift kiss finally calming  his nerves as his adorable smile reappeared

•”thank you,but kiss another guy without telling me and your sleeping in the doggy house.”

•”jisung we don’t have a do-“

•”exactly”

[ F E L I X ]

•You already know how extra Felix is so you could say you were a little amused when he swung open the door with his jaw wide open

•”What is this?!”

•”What is what?”

•Felix shoved the iPad forward as you crawled in his direction

•”I AM OFFENDED. LIKE I KNOW THAT KISS IS SO DEAD AND LIKE MY KISSES ARE THE BEST BUT LIKE RUDE!!!11!!”

•Felix would then processed to fall onto the bed and continue to whine

•”OH HOW CRUEL THIS WORLD IS MY BOO THANG KISSED ANOTHER MAN WITHOUT TELLING ME! oH HoW CrUeL!  OH MY POOR AUSSIE  HEARTU!”

•And to be honest at his point you couldn’t tell if he was jealous or just begging for your attention so you put the ipad down and bent over him and kissed him for a brief moment to shut the poor boy up

•And you could have swore there was a spark of half aw and half mischief that twinkle in his eyes before he continued on with is little shenanigans

•”Is this what’s it like to be kissed in the dramas because I’m living for it.”

•”Your so crazy.”

•”But you love it.”

•”Sadly.”

•”WHUT YOU MEAN SADL-”

•and of course once again you had to kiss the boy in order to keep his little temper off track

•”I love you~”

•”Of course you do.”

[ S E U N G M I N ]

•is torn over being petty or to just be super sweet about the whole thing and tell you how It bothered him you didn’t say anything

•but in the long run decides to be petty about it

•”What a lovely day we’re having here.”

•”Seungmin it’s raining?”

•”ah just like my angst teen heart.”

•”What????”

•”oh the pains of seeing thy significant other kissing another manz. How my heart is torn and pettiness seeps further in bones.”

•”Seungmin…”

•” OH the pain the pain oh how it withers my heart. What a dead kiss a distasteful sight. Maybe I wouldn’t be so mad if it wasn’t so dead.”

•after a little more of his pettiness it would finally sink in but you wanted to see how far he would go with this so you remained “oblivious.”

•”OH MOTHER OF MERCY HOW MUCH I WISH MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER COULD TAKE A DANG HINT.”

•once he saw you burst into a fit of giggles he’d be slightly embarrassed and his bruise pride would make seem even more hurt and offended

•”so you were just gonna pretend you knew nothing. How rude.”

•”Love you!”

•”mhmm say that to the couch.”

•”What?!”

•”showed me in affection and I’ll think about it.”

[ J E O N G I N ]

•Pouty baby #2

•Jeongin wasn’t even willing to speak he’d just sit there with his arms crossed and a pouty lip mumbling about it under his breath

•”Jeonginnie is something up?”

•he didn’t quite care how soft and tempting your comforting voice sounded he was jealous and he was going to have his petty moment

•so he’d “hmph” and then the other way

•and it’s continue on till Jisung or Seungmin couldn’t take it any longer and dropped by to say

•”he’s jealous cause you kissed another boy.”

•the look of betrayal on Jeongins face was enough to confirm jisung/Seungmin words

•”I am not jealous!”

•”mhmm keep telling yourself that.”*que Seungmin/Jisung leaving room*

•”for the record I’m not jealous.”

•”yes you are~ aw come on Jeonginnie I only love you.”

•”BUT YOU DIDN’T TELL ME.”

•he’d pout more but at the same time nuzzle into you

•”I’m sorry next time I will okay?”

•”hopefully their won’t be as next time…”he’d mumble just lightly

•”What?”

•”nothing just shower me in affection please~”

[bbreactions]

Big Bang's Reactions to their Gf who hurt her feet with glass and can barely walk

[GIFs not mine]

Hello!

I’m back with one of the reactions that have been requested in my inbox. I’m sorry since I’ve been gone for a while but there’s been and still is some drama going on and it seems that every person I get too close to leaves me but I’ll survive anyway. I hope you’re all healthy and of course listen to Flower Road a lot and think about our Big Bang soldiers a lot. I miss them a lot too.

Thank you for reading my reactions 💋💋

T.O.P

He came home after a busy schedule and saw blood on the kitchen floor. He just stood there for a minute and all the things that could've happened ran through his mind. He called your name multiple times and you could only whisper back to let him know you're still alive. He found you in the bedroom with your feet full of glass and blood all over the floor.

"Honey... I was... It hurts..." "Okay. Um. I'll call an ambulance... You need an ambulance. Wait here."

After he saw all the blood that ran out of your body he felt sick. He called an ambulance helped you stand up and walk to the door where they came. When you were at the hospital recovering he brought you sweets that you like and help you go to the bathroom if you needed help. He was shocked that you hurt yourself so badly.

G-Dragon

After he closed the door, he saw bloody footsteps that led to the living room. His hear was beating hear, not knowing what to expect. He called your name to make sure you're okay, but you were too busy worrying what to do with the glass in your whole foot. It hurt like hell so you decided to leave it like that. He came into the room and found you on the couch with a bloody foot.

"OMG. ARE YOU OKAY? I...I'LL CALL A DOCTOR DON'T WORRY"

"I'll be fine just get the glass out of there please."

He didn't touch anything to make sure he didn't make it worse. He just sat next to you and kept telling you it's gonna be okay even though he was panicking more than you. When you got to the hospital and got the glass removed he made sure he was there to help you get in the car and get you anything you wanted. He felt bad because you couldn't even reach for the tv remote if you needed it. 

Taeyang

He got a call from you that the vase fell on the floor and you hurt your feet. You were crying on the couch while he got the call and your feet were full of glass. Taeyang got home right away and felt shocked when he saw how much blood you lost just from breaking a vase on your feet. The first thing he did after asking you if you're in a lot of pain is search online what exactly to do in this kind of situation. He found just this: call an ambulance.

"HOW MUCH DOES IT HURT? SHOULD I DO SOMETHING? DON'T DIE ON ME JAGIYA!" "I'm not dying, but if you'd call faster it would be just perfect Honey."

He was unsure if he can touch it so he waited for the ambulance outside of the house. Of course, he had to deal with the media once you got to the hospital, so he had to leave you alone for about half an hour to make sure the security doesn't let anyone in your room except him. You had to stay a week at the hospital because one piece of a glass cut your vein. He stayed with you most of the time and brought you snacks once in a while but while he was gone working he made sure you were not bored. 

Daesung

He was at home cooking lunch while you were outside in the garden trying to DIY some flower pots. You were putting them on a small wooden shelf that was old and you certainly didn't know it would break. But it did and there were 15 made of glass just decorated pots broken right where your feet are. You were wearing your flip flops and when you felt the pain, you screamed high and loud. Daesung heard it immediately and ran to the garden barefoot. He saw your feet and told you not to look at them.

"Listen. It's okay. Just don't move and don't look down. OH RIGHT, remember Austin&Ally song Don't look down? Sing it until I get back."

"WHAT? Okay... It’s like I’m balanced on the edge it's like I’m hanging by a thread but I’m still gonna push ahead I tell myself yeah, I tell myself Don’t look down, down, down, down...."

He was lucky you were obsessed with Disney shows that much that he remembered the song that kept you calm while he rushed to call the ambulance. When he got back he actually sang it with you and sis funny faces just to make sure you would forget about the pain. He didn't want to move you anywhere so you were just sitting on the grass singing Disney songs. When you realized how hurt your feet really are, you promised him to take him to Disneyland for saving you from panicking.

Seungri

He was out in one of his club DJ-ing for the last time before going to serve in the army so he went all out and had much fun while you were at home cleaning as your normal Saturday when you decided not to party. You were trying to reach one of the higher shelves that was full of things made of glass. You stepped on a shelf beneath it and it broke and you fell and swept some of the things from the upper shelf with you. You didn't realize it right away because it seemed you have fainted. You only woke up when Seungri came home. He was very drunk but when he saw all the blood on your knees and legs he thought he was hallucinating. 

"W-WHAT HAPPENED?! I'M REALLY DRUNK JAGIYA WHAT DO YOU WANT... I SHOULD CALL THE POLICE..."

"call ambulance, not the police, Seungri. Don't go anywhere just hold my hand..."

He maintained with you and held your hand until the ambulance got to your apartment. Luckily you weren't injured badly but you just couldn't walk and it hurt badly. Seungri tried to give you painkillers every 2 hours but he soon fell asleep and woke up with the great hangover. At least you had a laugh hearing him struggling in the bathroom, while your legs were giving you a headache. When he sobered up, he made sure to take care of you properly and even made you a dinner with his own cooking skills.

[chocolatemillkk]

Mine (JP)

Request: Right so, basically an imagine where you’ve been best friends with casp An josh for years lkke since school An you’re visiting them in London and after seeing joshs video with his gf come clean to casp on a night out telling him how in love you are with josh an casp is like no you have it all wrong it’s a fake girlfriend then josh finds out and it’s all cute and a happy ending

I sit at the airport excited to see my two best friends after three years being apart. The troublesome threesome, as all our school teachers nicknamed us. We were inseperable as kids but we'd all moved away from our roots and moved across the globe. But that didn't stop us as; there were weekly catch-ups on facetime and a group text that never stopped with notifications.

"Flight 002 to London has been delayed..." another announcement comes on and I hear a few people around me groan. I sigh and text the group to let the boys know. Josh sends back a sad face and a heart that puts a smile back on my face.

It seems like we were always this close because we'd known each other since before we were ten. There was one blip when we were 16, a semester where the three of us stopped talking altogether. That was the year I developed a massive crush on Josh, he got his first girlfriend, and I'd decided to be petty. I complained how he was ruining the group dynamic by hanging out with her more, how he was obsessed with her, and that caused us to argue, Caspar to go back and forth between us-because he couldn't choose a side, and ultimately Josh and I disowning Caspar too because he couldn't just choose just one of us. It was a long and dark few months. But we'd decided after that we wouldn't let our love lives get in between our friendship-luckily for me my love life was tangled with our friendship. Maybe that was was why, as I waited for a new announcement, I decided to check out the boys' channel for new videos and saw Josh's upload.

"His girlfriend?" I say out loud after I watch it and a few people glance my way. "What the fuck?" I whisper quietly.

We told each other everything-why didn't I know about this? I watch the video intensely, looking out for how they look at each other and touch each other and by the end of it I want to be sick.

•••

I'm landed and omw I can't wait, I text the group. I had landed an hour ago and finally collected my luggage. Unfortunately, both Caspar and Josh were too busy to pick me up so I was to take an uber to their flat. My uber driver makes small talk before we settle in silence.

I'll be home in a half hour, Caspar texts. I'm so excited

I send a heart and a few minutes later so does Josh and Caspar. I stare at Josh's name a little too long, my emotions still a little unsettled. I thought along with seeing my best friends this trip would give me some closure with the Josh part of my life. But knowing he had a girlfriend made this all the more complicated. I would just have to ignore my feelings.

I arrive at the flat and let the boys know and when the elevators open I spot Josh and Caspar with their flat door open. Caspar wears an eager expression and he looks the same as he always did, my heart smiles at the sight of him. Josh looks handsome, he'd definitely grown into his height and he looks at me with a mixture of excitement and something else...he has a girl, I remind myself but my heart still sings at the sight of him.

"She's here!" Caspar shouts and wraps me in a hug. I almost tear up in his arms, ones I haven't felt in years, and Josh joins from the other side as we become a ball of limbs and love.

"Just so you know," Josh says over us. "Caspar wanted to scare you as you got off the elevator but I stopped him."

"Josh!" Caspar lets go and pushes him. "You're such a liar!"

Josh laughs, "It's true!"

"I believe it," I roll my eyes and grab ahold of my luggage but Caspar takes it from my hand. "He would do it for the views."

"I forgot that you two gang up on me when we get together," Caspar pouts and wheels the suitcase inside. Josh and I high-five as we laugh at Caspar's retreating figure.

"I missed you," Josh gives me a side hug. I wrap my hands around his waist as we walk side by side into the flat.

"So Conor's not in London you'll take his room," Josh explains as Caspar steps out from it. "Make yourself at home."

"Home is wherever you two are," I say, feeling sentimental.

"Aww," the boys mock me and ruffle my hair. I push their hands away and lock myself in the bedroom, wanting to feel settled in.

•••

I'm groggy post-nap and hear Caspar talking in his room. I follow the sound of a the television into the living room where Josh and a couple of his friends sit.

"Hey," I call out.

Jack, a friend I'd met briefly before, looks up and smiles. Mikey gets up with Josh and Josh drags me to where they all sit and places me beside him.

"...she's finally visiting us she made space in her busy schedule..." Josh is talking to Jack and Mikey, bragging about what I did, but I still feel jet-lagged and am barely keeping up with the conversation.

"How long do you stay? Y/N?" I'm snapped out when I hear the question.

"For the month," I answer. "Then I'm heading home to South Africa."

"Before we know it our entire group will be replaced by South Africans," Jack jokes and we laugh.

"That's not a bad thing," I glance at Josh and we share a smile. He puts his arm around me as the boys continue watching whatever they were watching and I pull out my phone to update my social media. I watch the last quarter of football with the boys before Jack and Mikey head out and Josh and I remain on the couch.

"Tell your mom I said hi and not to worry because I'm keeping an eye on you," Josh notices I was texting my mom.

"I still don't know why she loves you the most," I shake my head and Josh peers over my shoulder to read my mom's response.

"She knows I have a heart of gold," he says seriously.

"Does she now?" I roll my eyes as we banter back and forth. It feels dangerously close to flirting as Josh leans further into me; he looks at me with an intensity that makes my stomach flutter with butterflies.

But he had a girlfriend.

"I should freshen up if we're going out," I say suddenly. I could tell Josh is confused by the change in my tone because his eyebrows knit together before he leans back to where he sat before. I get up and smooth out my top. "I'll see what Caspar's up to."

"Uh sure," Josh tugs at his ear, a light pink colouring his cheeks. "Yeah."

I knock on Caspar's door but he doesn't respond. "You better be decent," I shout as I open it to find Caspar asleep on top of his sheets. I groan, getting him up would be a task but a couple hours later Caspar, Josh, and I are all ready for a night out-my first night out in London.

"Casp are you still just as bad with the ladies?" I ask. "Remember you tried learning magic when we were fifteen."

"I got pretty good!" Caspar says.

"He did," Josh admits.

"I use a different kind of magic now," Caspar points a finger gun at me and Josh and I groan as we all laugh.

"How about you?" Josh asks, suddenly forcing a casual tone. "Are you dating somebody?"

"Since last weekend when I went on that huge rant about why guys suck?" To be fair, I was drunk when I texted them the three-paragraph message.

"Heh I guess," Josh says and Caspar snorts.

"Josh has no game," Caspar says. Which was odd to me since he had a girlfriend.

"But doesn't-" I start but Caspar cuts me off, pointing to the place he was taking us. We had arrived.

•••

"Caspar!" I shout into the crowd. It was a few hours later and I was buzzing with the drinks I had. Josh had stuck with me while Caspar left for a bit to talk to a girl he knew. But I found the more I drank the more I hated the fact that I was finally with Josh physically but he had a girlfriend and that meant I had to stay hands off. The tension grew-at least for me-and I was ready to go. If this was how the trip here would feel, I had to sort this out once and for all.

"I'll get him," Josh puts a hand on my back and I quickly step forward so it falls away. It was too tempting.

Caspar returns but Josh doesn't.

"Josh just went to the toilet," Caspar shouts. "You wanted to go home?"

"Yeah," I say, distracted as I spot Josh's head moving away from us.

"What's going on?" Caspar tries to look where I'd been looking.

"Promise you won't say a word," I say. I needed to know.

"What? For what?" Caspar pushes closer, he could never be patient for a secret. "Promise."

"How did Josh suddenly get into a relationship without telling me?" I spill.

"What?" Caspar looks confused. "Josh?"

"Yeah!" I shout. "I saw his video before I flew out!"

"His video?" Caspar shouts and proceeds to laugh-it would be more accurate to say he was howling. I stare at him, getting more and more upset he'd found that so funny.

"Wait, you don't know? Oh my god wait," Caspar sobers up. "You like him."

It's not asked as a question. He already knows and it's just a statement because a single glance at my face only confirms it. His howling becomes obnoxious as he laughs for a second round and tears threaten to spill from my own eyes.

"I don't understand why you're laughing," I shove Caspar. "You're such an ass! I'm making my own way home!"

Before Caspar can say anything I rush out the door and begin racing down the street. I just wanted to get away, Caspar had embarassed me more than he had in our past. It was a good thing Josh wasn't there to see how humiliating it was that I was in love with him for years while he'd moved on with his life and gotten a beautiful girlfriend. I was pathetic.

I eventually get in an uber and use the address from our group chat. I already can tell Caspar is gearing to type up an apology as it shows he's typing for a while but I turn off my wifi and wait for the car to take me home. Except I didn't have a key.

I sit outside the flat and begin to cry ever so quietly. I was tired and embarassed and I was heartbroken. Why did I ever think it could work out between Josh and I? Why would I come to London in the first place? I should have flown to South Africa directly.

"Y/N?" The one voice I didn't want to hear comes from in front of me.

I look up, sniffling to Josh towering over me. He plays with his keys and slides it into the door.

"Are you going to come in?" He opens the door but I make no move to get up. I don't even respond. He puts the keys in his pocket and sits beside me.

"Caspar said that you left-"

"Caspar's an asshole." I say shakily.

"I know," Josh stops short. He clears his throat and sits in front of me. "Caspar-he said that...gosh this is so embarassing for me to tell you of all people..."

By now I'm curious with how much Josh was stuttering. I watch his mouth move as he tries to explain to me how his video was a prank and the girl wasn't actually his girlfriend. She was just a friend. I stare at him long after he's done to process and un-tangle my emotions and the story.

"You're a loser," I say after an extended silence. "The biggest loser I've ever met-and trust me I know a lot."

Josh's face splits into a grin as he puts his hands on my knees. "I'm so sorry I didn't say anything I thought you would know it was a joke. I didn't mean to hurt you-I swear. You know you would be the first person to know if I started dating a girl."

"I better be," I say but my heart whispers a sad song as I realise Josh was still saying this because he would only ever see me as a friend.

"I could use your advice though," Josh leans back on his hands.

"On?" I say cautiously.

"I think I'm in love with a girl but how do I ask her out?"

My heart drops into my stomach. "Does she-do you know if she likes you back?"

"Recently confirmed," Josh grins as he takes my hands in his. Then suddenly I feel like the loser. He was talking about me!

"Be bold," a smile plays at my lips. "Forget about asking her out."

"You think?" Josh pinches my chin between his fingers and I forget to answer him. I needed him. I pull his shoulders closer and he backs me into the wall again as his lips kiss mine expertly. We had definitely moved away from childhood friends.

"I didn't know you could kiss like that," I tease when we break apart.

"There's a lot I know how to do you don't know," Josh smiles, bumping his nose lightly into mine.

"Show me," I try to kiss him but he's suddenly standing up. He yanks my hand and bends to pick me up over his shoulder and carry me into the house.

"I've been waiting to show you for a while," Josh says and I giggle as my vision turns upside down and right side up again. I lay on his bed and instead of resuming the kissing, Josh lays down beside me.

"So I just wanted to let you know first since I said I would," Josh says so seriously that I prop myself on my elbows to hear what he has to say. "I've just started seeing someone."

"Oh my gosh," I laugh. He was a loser, I think, but my loser. Josh lays giggling as I stradle him and lean down. "You almost had me there."

"Good," Josh flips us around though and he holds my hands above me. "It's funny when I can rile you up."

"Is that why you used to do it when we were younger?" I suddenly remember, the memory coming forward.

Josh blushes and I exaggerate my aww.

"Since eighth grade," Josh admits. I whistle and Josh blushes more.

"Wait. Did Caspar know?" I ask.

"Eventually he figured it out," he admits. "But he told me I couldn't say anything because you'd never go for me and it would just ruin our group dynamic."

I laugh, "Of course he fucking said that."

"I'm glad I waited though," Josh lowers himself. "It was worth this."

"Me too," I say. Josh closes the gap between us as we passionately make-up for time and I feel a bubbly type of happy that this boy in my arms was finally someone I could call mine.

[angeleyesandfaerielullabies]

All of the questions ;)))))) you'll never know who this is ;)))) ya know cause I'm on anon ;))))))))))))))

Sammy, I know it's you. You aren't being discrete at all1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?Yes, many of them actually, they're everywhere, along with the people who are both or neither, everywhere I turn, they're there
2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?No.
3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17."An off day isn't a cocktail issue."
4: What’s something you really want right now? A girlfriend
5: Are you afraid of falling in love?HAHAHAHHA 
6: How can I win your heart?Listen to me and try to understand what I'm saying and shit and give me compliments and books and cuddles and just don't be obnoxious 
7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?No
8: What’s the background on your cell?On my lock green it's a bunch of cactiOn my home screen it's a great picture by Sophierosebrampton (that's her Instagram name) and it's a girl with only underwear on and a crop top that says "not ur babygirl" on it and shows the bottom of her boobs (it's a really great drawing and she's a really cool artist, I highly recommend you check her page out)
9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?My bed??? That's it's??? Idk???
10: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?Probably not
11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?Hell no
12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?I don't know
13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?Rottweiler
14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?Emotional
15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?Both
16: Are you tired?All the time
17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?Seeing as my 1st phone contact was my mother, I'd say I've known her for awhile, although, I could be wrong 
18: If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?2014-2015 (all of 8th grade including the summer before and half of the summer after)
19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?Maybe
20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?HAH
21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?Ehhhhhhh, I don't know, probably not, I'm not big on the whole marriage concept 
22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?HAH
23: When was the last time you were disappointed?I am disappointed literally almost 99.9% of the time sooo
24: Is there a certain quote you live by?"Fuck you, Fuck you, and ESPECIALLY Fuck you"
25: What’s on your mind?Nothing
26: Do you have any tattoos?No
27: What is your favorite color?Green
28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?I'm done with these kissing questions 
29: Who are you texting?No one 
30: Are you superstitious about anything?Yes
31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?Yes
32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?Yes
33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you? No
34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?No because although my entire family swears that I have hazel eyes but that they just lean more towards brown than green, they are actual shit stains and the only time you can even see the apparent green is when I cry and that happens like never
35: What was the reason for your last breakup?He made a rape joke and so I decided to cut him out of my life
36: Were you single on Valentines Day?Yes
37: Name one physical feature that you like about yourself, and one you dislike.Fuck you.
38: What do your friends call you?Melissa or Mel or Asshole
39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?Yes
40: Have you ever cried over a text?Yes
41: Where’s your last bruise located?My arm
42: What is it from?Tubing
43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?Every second of everyday so I guess the last time would be right now 
44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?My uncle
45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?Yes
46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?No
47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?No
48: Do you make supper for your family?Who the hell says "supper"??? (Sammy probably does) And I make food all the time for my brother and I 
49: What’s the toughest decision you made this year?To live 
50: Top 3 web-pages?Idk
51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?Yes. Me.
52: Does anything on your body hurt?Yes
53: Are goodbyes hard for you?No
54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?Water
55: How is your hair?Wtf kind of question is this??? It's a wavy/curly, frizzy, tangled, knotted, thick af, super annoying Mess
56: What do you usually do first in the morning?Lay in bed contemplating the universe 
57: Do you think two people can last forever?No
58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?I don't even remember what I was talking about two minutes ago but you want me to remember if I was single in January 2007??? Fuck off
59: Green or purple grapes?Both
60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?Never
61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?Yes
62: What did your father teach you?Fuck off.
63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?I don't freaking know 
64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.Idk
65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?No
66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?Yes
67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?No
68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?I didn't go to bed last night so joke's on you
69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?Yes
70: How many windows are open on your computer?None
71: If you won 100 million dollars, what would you buy first?A good life
72: What is your ringtone?Idk
73: How old will you be in 5 months?The same age as I am now 
74: Where is your Mum right now?I don't know and I don't care 
75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?Because I have never actually really felt love before 
76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?Yes, my brother because he can't Ross the street by himself for shit
77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?Sure
78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?No
79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?Yes
80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?No
81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?Idk
82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?No
83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?No
84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?I would never get drunk and I would never yell at people no matter how physically attractive I found them so fuck you
85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?Probably not but maybe
86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?Idk
87: Who was your last received call from?My uncle 
88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?Yes because I hate butterflies 
89: What is something you wish you had more of?Money
90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?No
91: Do you sleep with your window open?No
92: Do you get along with girls?Sure
93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?No
94: Does sex mean love?No
95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?HAH
96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?HAH
97: Did you sleep alone this week?Yes
98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?Yes
99: Do you believe in love at first sight?Not really
100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise?My brother

[dreamsanddreams88]

Dreams from a long ass time ago that I’ve been too lazy to type out

During ECOS I was sleeping in like, Orange Belt I think? One of the lowers. Dreamed a bunch of boys were running around outside screaming in the middle of the night, I was about to call on the radio, and I woke up gradually and realized that it was totally silent. Trippy, scarily realistic. Then I was in parents basement with Millie Bobbie Brown and she was crying. Painted with her to make her cheer up. Then something about Katniss being a brat, then I was at a small Aerosmith concert

I was Malificent and this soulless assassin was after me, this creeping dark shadowy woman who could suck out souls. Luckily I didn’t HAVE a soul, and turned into a dragon and burned her to a crisp

Dreamed ECOS was in space on another planet. The sky was huge and pink and the clouds were majestic af. Gravity was only a little weaker there. 

I was at a school reunion, Belkisa had 2 kids, Emily had died and Cody had cut off all his hair and beard. Callie was there and I saw them flirting and was SCANDALIZED. I had short hair again and wore a cowboy hat. 

I don’t remember this but all I wrote for this dream was “was prostitute for Kpop star.” Amazing

I was out on a suburban street probably in Portland, and it was supposedly where the real castle from Beauty & the Beast was. Like, the story was real and historic? Trying to find it so I could break in and steal all the riches, but it was impossible to find. Somehow I knew it was only a street or two away but nobody had ever quite been able to find it, it was almost like an urban legend or the castle purposefully had a curse on it or something. Frustrating but intriguing. 

Visiting NYC with Dawn, we slept in big hammock together hanging over the Hudson bay at night. I was trying to get with her, and I think we made out and at least got to 3rd base? Tbh kinda sad it wasn’t real

At work (trackers) on a really rainy day, some site out in the boonies. Didn’t have kids in the morning, and during the afternoon someone else took them so Keith could take us on a dirigible ride. It just had these bench seats without harnesses or railings. Sat with a guy who looked kind of like Kobel, we got touchy and it was getting heated but I almost fell off. Came back down and camp had ended, almost dark already, dude was trying to hang out with me later but I just needed to find the portapottys. 

Went to hang at Colton’s house, but he lived in a giant frat house (the implications of this dream are just...yikes). Guys were playing hockey on the floor, jon bellion was there with his gf, talking about his inspiration for “Fashion.” Elliot and his gf were there, they were open. Dan Meier wanted us to hang with him and my brother, and I was like “Ugh...this shit again?”

Starting ECOS again (fuck this is like the 3rd dream Ive had like this) and I had Taylor’s long curly black hair but some was waaaaay longer, like elbow length vs. shoulder. I was gonna do pigtail braids to hide it. We were all staying at this cottage in LA owned by one of Char’s friends, like a vacation house. It was huge, had 16 beds, the rooms were only accessible by ladder. Each room had 3 beds, were more like balconies really. Two rooms next to each other, then two on top, and two on top, etc. Mel was sick and crying in one, Kendra and Sarah and Emily in another. Nobody wanted to room with mel and I did, but I also wanted to be with other people. Went to the room above, found Charlotte in there crying about some computer game her friend wanted us all to play. Then the CUTEST, FATTEST kitten walked over to us, then my alarm went off before I could pet it. 

Was in a church pew with all new ECOS people, lots of returns like Kendra and Grace and looots of new too. Tanner got back from Mexico and still had a bunch of my bras in his laundry. He wanted to hang at some park but i found a video of a small brunette girl he was involved with back home, like dating. Then I was in a Dolce & Gabbana store for a haircut and color? Saw the new Star Wars and Luke wasn’t even in it until the end again, super pissed. He wasn’t even costumed like Luke, he just looked like boring Mark Hamill. 

On a plane with campers, there was turbulence, we landed and I swore at a bad kid. Told Keith kinda proudly, but he was like “ah shit I only meant for ME to say that. Gotta tell parents” and I was soooo worried about being fired. Dreamed about travelling again, could hear someone banging on wall in bathroom, open door and find lauren hidden on a shelf. Someone stabbed her in the ankle. She turned into elliots gf whose name was Cecelia, she passes out on couch. I sit next to her rocking the couch, in parents living room, texting him about her. She starts mumbling about trying to fuck this muscley dude but another girl stabbed her. I felt protective of her like I loved her, it was kinda emotional. Then dreamed about mobster guy from Lilyhammer, in a meat fridge cutting steaks with one of his rivals. 

I hooked up with Jamey at his house but then was pooping in his bathroom for a really long time, so long he thought I had left. So he tells his wife to come out or whatever and I enter the room, we were not supposed to meet. She looks like Ms Schaefer, very nice, but it was awkward. She asked if I had diarrhea (I did) in this fake-concerned way, but really was trying to embarrass me in front of Jamey. Went to Bar 33, got switched to Spy Camp. Then was in a room people kept entering to make out, last was this dumpy latino girl in a gold swimsuit eating hot dog pieces. She wanted to make out with me with the hot dog pieces in her mouth so she could transfer them to MY mouth, super gross but then she let me lick her pussy so I was okay with it??