#and then there's the entire topic of suicide. the image in my head. the empathy for what these girls went through

[orcelito]

Also the fact that it's 4/20. The holiday I "observe" (typically by making jokes) despite not being a weed smoker. And I spent all of today filled with dread, actively miserable, actively distraught, and then vaguely dissatisfied/depressed

😊✌😋 happy 4/20 to a certain dead bastard in particular

[thevirgodoll]

I need advice for confronting my friend about skipping meals, it gets pretty awkward and she brushes everything off. The anon reminded me to ask you for help about this.

This is a very, VERY touchy subject and I know you know this. I’m happy you approached me with this because this is directly up my alley in subject matter.

PSA: With things like self harm behaviors, understand that it’s difficult to get a loved one to admit it’s happening because of the brain’s response towards confronting it: shame, guilt, and burdensome feelings. And if she has been doing this awhile, by now her brain has been conditioned to use this as a positive coping mechanism because it relieves her of whatever is going on in her life...

So try not to be too hard on her. I know a lot of people get easily frustrated and place blame but perspective and empathy is extremely necessary if you’re going to be here for the long haul because this is not something that she can just stop doing. In the past, people were very ignorant about any self harm behavior so I really had to get that off of my chest so you could approach it correctly.

Things to know and consider:

Think of her history. Has there been any life changes? Has she ever had mental health problems? What has happened before the eating habits?

•Something deeper is usually going on when an eating disorder actually occurs. It is not about food entirely, it’s about emotional eating and lack thereof depending on which ED it is. Now sometimes it’s not always due to the person’s own doing (some medications can create issues), but most of the time it’s due to an underlying problem that has been going on for a long time.

•She may withdraw from social interactions as a result of this disorder. This is a symptom of her illness.

•Often times, eating disorders are coupled with depression and anxiety. So keep in mind, her mind is a hard place to be right now if this is the case.

•EDs can create a need for control. If she feels out of control in an area of her life, in some way, it helps her feel in control of something.

Symptoms to check off (not all have to be marked; this is for everyone’s reference to keep and have):

•Fear of weight gain to the point of obsession

-> conversations pertain to cleaner eating or wanting to look better, expresses disdain

-> obsessed with fitness or diet apps to the point of concern

•Excessive exercising

-> upset if they cannot exercise

-> increases exercise, but avoids increasing calories or is on a fad diet/extreme regiment in an unhealthy manner

•Irrational perception of body weight or image

-> checking body fat, tugging on skin

•Weight gain

-> compulsive eating, large quantities of food

•Lying about eating habits or downplaying them

•Food often on mind or always an issue

•Skipping meals often or rationalize skipping meals

•Cutting food into pieces to make it less obvious that it’s not as much food

-> habitually does this or only eats certain portions, weird rituals around foods, maybe a lot of condiments

•Avoiding eating with other people

-> goes to the bathroom often during meals

-> gets upset during meals if certain meals aren’t available, refuses to even eat

•Hiding food

•Fatigue, lack of concentration, irritation

•Uncharacteristic social withdrawal and isolation

-> A note about mood: Extremely depressed or seems extremely energetic depending on mental state. Mental health concerns are definitely there.

-> Caffeine may be involved if they are overly hyperactive to lose more weight

So, keep in mind that it’s not just one type of eating disorder which is why I included many different signs off the top of my head. Sometimes, people are unaware that their behaviors are unhealthy until it’s too late. Some people won’t accept they have an eating disorder, especially black women.

Something to know: Black women, regardless of specific nationality or ethnic background, tend to have a certain culture around food, so eating disorders with Black women are often overlooked. Black women adopt cultural values that are linked with binge eating disorders, and are at high risk for emotional eating. Many will not ask for help. The stereotype continues to be that it is just the Black woman being “fat” or “needs meat on her bones”.

Why? It is due to the societal and cultural expectation. Most women in media are depicted as white, skinny women or plus size white women for opposite ends of the body image / ED spectrum.

However, the culture around Black female bodies is something to be acknowledged... the rates of “thick” vs. “skinny” body image problems regarding Black women. Anorexia is the rarest disorder amongst Black women, and Binge eating is the most prevalent.

What To Do Now?

When someone downplays an eating disorder despite you pointing out the symptoms, it’s not personal. It is a symptom of their illness. Persistence and empathy is key. Take a different approach than aggression in order to get them to open up.

Do not say how they look when starting your sentences...they have a perception already of how they look and it won’t work. Do not say what they “should” do for your benefit of seeing them well, this will come off aggressive. They will tune you out, and feel like a burden. If anything, you want to put your empathy above all. Do not frame their behavior as something malicious that they are doing to you. These approaches are often used and alienate the person, which makes the process longer. No ultimatums also. People always say “if you do this again I will stop being your friend.” It ruins it and drives people to more self harm behaviors often or worse, suicide / hospitalization due to feeling alone (more than they already do). Do not do this!

Have patience, move forward with love, and involve empathy not pity or demeaning language. Avoid “should”, “need”, and “you don’t”. Just speak from a place of concern, because that’s your primary feeling. No lecturing, no criticizing. Pick a private place, where they will be calm. NO OFFERING SOLUTIONS! It’s about offering SUPPORT! Do not tell them what they have to do! Just use “I” statements only! If there is resistance, again, be patient because this is hard for THEM! I say this with a lot of conviction because it is extremely serious!

Example: “Hey ____, I’m really worried about you. Perhaps I am wrong in my observations, but this is what I see(*this allows them to not feel defensive*). I feel like you are struggling with something(gives them the chance to open up). I want to help you and I am here for you.”

Example: “Hey ____, I really wanted to speak to you. I feel like something is going on. It’s hard for me to see you unhappy (observation of how they have been acting, no weight comments). It’s really scary to watch you skip meals sometimes(shows that you are concerned and have noticed). I want to help you. I want you to know I’m here for whatever you want to do. I’m listening to you.” *The ending gives them an opportunity to feel supported because they are. If they show response to wanting to take the next step / or open up to you about the eating disorder then say this: “I’ll even go to the doctor with you. I will be in the appointment.” And please go with them!

Good luck and keep me updated! We should all stick together on mental health (especially us black women.) Always send me questions like this!!! ❣️

xo, thevirgodoll ❤️

*If anyone is curious as to why I’m so knowledgeable, I’m a psychology major girl, I had research ready before I answered because I already did research on this topic a long time ago in an essay for black women and EDs. I got my clinical reference from earlier lol -> clinical reference to black women and eating disorders link study

[braunyreiss]

How many Parallels/hints/panels has isayama done for EH over the arcs+timeskips because I seen the way on how isayama puts theses two character's together very closely and that shows us something. What do you think about their relationship.

Hello anon! im sorry for the late answer, i was so busy and didn’t have time enough to take a look at tumblr.Parallels between those two. The ones not that important and more random like attitudes or random datas. Most of the parallel images im going to use, i took them from twitter long ago.Before start, i apologize for my english, but i hope you understand my point.Lets start:

1-Killing their first titan, the emotion, the pose and the movement

2-Worried about their close friend

3-Never needed to happend. 

4-The way they cry laughing

5-Their parents trying to inject them

6- Mothers killed in front of them

7-Killing their fathers

8-Overprotective friends, hitting them with their head lol

9-Worried about each other and saving each other

10-Half-siblings with royal blood

11-Destroying the world

12-the pose lol

13- having their fathers memories

14-Boring and routine childhood

15- being interested in something for the first time by reading a book

16- Fake previews, AU, where they both feel so bored about their lifes (And she is the one who understands him).Historia was a kid who received no love and being despised bullied and ignored. While time passed, she didn’t understand what did she do wrong. she felt depressed, insecure, feeling that her existence was unnecesar, that everyone would be happier if she wasnt alive. She blamed herself for everything. She had no goals, only wanting to commit suicide so people will love her for doing sth heroic, and also making other happ with her death. Then, Ymir appeard, she finally felt what life was, she wanted to live, Ymir made her to love herself, she was the one who inspirated her but then she left her saving the warriors, making Historia feeling lost again, the only person who she cared left her, and was alone again. But then Eren appears. She opened to someone else than Ymir, cause he saw through her mask and knew there was sth wrong with her. Then, he said what she needed to be told since the very begining. All she wanted is to be a normal person. She still was kind of lost and depressed (totally normal) and they even wanted her to make her the queen. With all her insecurities and fear because of rejection (something she experience along her entire life) of the whole people in the walls. She had the pressure but she accepted fearfull. Then, she met her father, he said sorry for everything, but he needed to do that in order to protect her, and now is the one who gonna save everyone being the new goddes by having the founding titan. What this meant for her, is that everything was a lie, she was loved, she was special, and finally she had a duty protecting hmanity from titans. But for this she had to kill Eren, and she was going to do it, she blinded herself because how nice everything sounds, and how everything that made her suffer was a lie. She was prepared to sacrifice Eren but not for humanity, for herself, beleiving she was special, her father loved her, a new goal.Eren on the other hand, he was totally different from Historia, a confident kid, with forcefulness goals, killing titans, those who destroyed his life. While he was growing, he kind of thought that he was someone special because of his titan power. And also, there was a big pressure on him with big expectations from soldiers and humanity. He had the title of being the hope of humanity. He kept confident until the Rod Reiss speech. This young boy who was so confident, now was broken for those words, wanting to die in order to, at least, make something good for humanity with his death. Everything about being special was a lie. He never needed to happened. That’s what he said. And Historia heard him. She totally felt that, she knew those feelings. here is the most importan parallelism that made their relationship that strong. Historia opened her eyes, her father was using him, she saved Eren, who still wanted to die and she hits him, being on his side, telling him that humanity is the one who must be destroyed, that she is the enemy of humanity. The enemy of humanity because she didn’t accept her duty, she wanted to live by herself, didn’t accept to be a goddes, a special person for humanity. And because she saved Eren, the “guilty” of everything. Doing this, means that she is on his side (and bc of this, enemy of humanity) so he is not alone. Now she was the one who was trying to make Eren gain some self esteem. Also she wanted to make sure that it wasn’t true that he was no needed. Some chapters later, watching Historia’s development, he understood he was not special, that feeling actually made him weak. But even if he is not special, he must help because he CAN, even without being different of the rest. He needed to chose his path, took decisions, as Historia, who finally decided her path but she wanted to do something in order to become more confident and to overcome herself. She chose to not be a goddes, but a normal person that fight and do what she can do for humanity, and that’s what Eren did, she inspired him, (if im not wrong, isayama said that he was inspired watching Historia in a guidebook). There is no need to be special, just do what you can, broke the chains. Both Eren and Historia were chained by their respective fathers. Historia got rid of this, and then also Eren. He respects her so much since all this situation. She was so important to Eren’s development. Seems that they become close. 

Here you can see when he starts talking about the blondie. He understands her. (Also he ignores Jean trying to bother him with provocations)

Here you see them having a serious talk

Then changing the topic, finally Eren changing his countenance, and then just kidding like close friends. Also Historia

Also, you see how Historia takes a box and kept walking but then she decided to wait and walk with Eren but not with the other ones. You she how she is closer to him than with the rest and feel confortable with him.This relationship is based on empathy, muttual support and inspiration. Both of them were for each other when both weren’t psychologically in a good way or needed help, even if they weren’t that close in the beginning. He was the only one besides Ymir that saw the real her, and supported her. She was the only one who could understand, support, and inspire him in his worst situation. And you see how much Eren is concern about her and protects her. How he smiles when she is arround and sees her happy. You will never imagine that he would smile again after shiganshina’s battle with that traumatic experience, but he still smiled because of her. For me, all of this is beautiful. How positive they are for each other, how they helped each other when they were down in their worst situation. I appreciate that so much and i love it!I don’t think this relationship was built for nothing (not necessary in a romantic way).

[entamewitchlulu]

Arc V Month Day 12: Favorite Ships

ohohohoho, did you mean my favorite day??  I love talking about ships, I love exploring possible character dynamics whether those are romantic, platonic, sexual, antagonistic, or whatever, and Arc V is FULL of great character dynamics as well as great potential ones that while they never interacted much or at all in canon, I still think would be really fun to play with

I could talk for hours about ships, and I have a LOT of faves within Arc V (arc v was actually the beginning of my multishipping tendencies, before this I was a strict single-ship-per-character type), but for the purposes of time and space I will talk only about my “starter pack” as I like to call it lol.  Tho, if you would like to hear my thoughts on any other Arc V ship, please don’t hesitate to drop into my askbox!  I love to talk about this >w<

Escapeshipping (Asuka/Osiris Red Girl)

One half of the ship may not even have an actual name, but that doesn’t stop me from being in love with this little rarepair.  I’ve always liked the idea of bi Asuka, but before Arc V, there really wasn’t a female character I really enjoyed shipping her with.  Arc V came to the rescue by giving her a gf (it also gave Crow a bf...Arc V said gay rights).  Even though all we get of them is one flashback, it’s pretty clear that the two of them were close, close enough for the Osiris girl to confide in Asuka her treasonous thoughts and to want to save Asuka by bringing her along in her escape rather than simply escaping on her own.  And it’s the Osiris girl’s sacrifice that drives Asuka to be as much of a rebel against Academia that she is.  That’s the set up for a powerful tragic love story right there, and we only had half an episode -- that’s pretty epic imo.

Chaperoneshipping (Gongenzaka/Sawatari)

I named this rarepair, so it has a special place in my heart lol.  I just think it’s probably one of the funniest, and yet sweetest ships I’ve got for Arc V.  The two of them are pretty much diametric opposites -- Sawatari never stops moving or talking and is super full of himself, while Gongenzaka is based on standing completely still and has a pretty healthy understanding of himself and his limits.  Every single interaction they had was gold, as the two of them have such different ideals and beliefs, but they play off of each other so well.  They’re literally the tol gay + smol gay and I love them and their banter a lot -- plus, I legitimately think that the two of them are pretty good for each other.  Gongenzaka can help ground Sawatari but also take care of him when his inevitable loss of confidence spirals back again, and Sawatari can put an exasperated smile on Gongenzaka’s face and help him loosen up here and there.

rest are under the cut so this doesn’t get TOO long lol

Darkrebelshipping (Shun/Yuto)

This is one I haven’t actually paid as much attention to lately, but I still do really enjoy it!  It’s a little cliche, but I just find their relationship pretty interesting.  It’s clear that they’re close friends who trust each other, but there’s also a lot of friction between them because they have such fundamentally different value systems.  They both want the same things, but what they’re willing to do to achieve those things is very different, and seeing how that effects the two of them in different situations is very interesting to me.  Plus, I just kind of love how they both look like they would go to Hot Topic together lol.

Moonblossomshipping (Ruri/Selena)

Am I using my own screenshot edit for these two?  Yes, yes I am, because despite my deep and abiding love for this ship, they never officially got to interact while not possessed lol.

As the above mentioned lack of interaction notes, this ship is mostly in my head, but I think it has a lot of interesting potential as a dynamic.  Ruri and Selena may be parts of the same person, but they have some unique differences that make their potential relationship intriguing.  Selena is a very headstrong person who rarely thinks before she acts, acting on an innate sense of justice that may be skewed because she rarely takes the time to closely examine where that image of justice is coming from.  She’s an angry and impulsive person determined to prove herself, and yet she’s also very disciplined in other places.  Ruri, on the other hand, comes from a much softer world, and from what we’ve seen of her, she also has a strong sense of justice -- though her views on it come from a place of sympathy/empathy and a desire for compassion towards others, rather than Selena’s warrior-like take on making justice happen.  That softness + Selena’s sharpness makes for a great contrast, and the fact that their two worlds are pretty much perfectly opposed in the struggle in canon also sets up for some great star-crossed lovers shit which I’m ALWAYS into.

And outside of that?  They just are....so pretty.  They have the best aesthetic together.  I was shipping them somehow before Ruri was even revealed, I am here for the long haul.

Duskshipping (Dennis/Yuuri)

Here’s another ship that gave me less than half an episode of content and made me go absolutely wild over it.  Yuuri and Dennis may have only interacted for a few moments and only twice overall, but there’s something about those moments that still captivates me.  The whole concept of Yuuri being this terrifying force that people run to the side of the hall to avoid, even as a child, but then being met by a laid-back, cheerful greeting from Dennis, fascinates me.  Dennis isn’t scared of Yuuri at all, in fact, he seems to find Yuuri amusing to some degree.  He’s the only character in the entire show who hasn’t immediately viewed Yuuri as some terrifying monster.  Part of that may be simply due to Dennis’s cheerful + semi suicidal personality, but I think there might be a little more to it than that, especially since Yuuri doesn’t seem at all annoyed at Dennis’s lack of respect.  There’s this sense of relaxation to their interactions, as though they’re used to hanging out, as though they’re comfortable with each other.  For people like the two of them -- Dennis, with his self-loathing covered up by a mask of cheer, and Yuuri, with his monstrous, malicious glee towards destruction, that unspoken comfort with anyone, much less people so different from each other, feels very important.

Stealthshipping (Sora/Tsukikage)

This one hit me like a frieght train all at once.  For most of my favorite Arc V ships, I got the sense that I would like them early on into their character introductions.  Basically from the moment I saw most of them, their first interaction or even their first introduction alone, I had the feeling I was going to love them as a ship.  These two?  I had no idea I was going to make THIS my favorite ship for the two of them...and honestly, my only romantic ship for either of them.  And like, why would I have?  Their first interaction is where Sora kills Tsukikage’s brother.  Angsty, to be sure, but I barely thought they’d even meet again.

When they did, however, and how it all played out after that, I was smitten.  Two soldiers who met on opposite sides of the conflict, who had every reason to hate each other, and every reason to destroy each other, who found themselves slowly, slowly putting that unease aside for the common goal ahead of them, until they became a team to be reckoned with.  Sora apologizing for what he did to Tsukikage’s brother and even offering to atone any way Tsukikage wanted as long as he could save Yuzu and Yuya first, Tsukikage putting down his grudge “just for now,” slowly becoming the two of them coming to each other’s aid and fighting like a team?  It was so powerful.  I definitely need to create more content for the two of them.

Genesishipping (Ray/Zarc)

Let’s be honest, we all ship this one a little bit.  They’re the penultimate tragic, antagonistic couple, even if they probably never actually met in the past.  They’re perfectly opposed forces, creation and destruction, and Ray is more than willing to come back over and over again to fight Zarc, while Zarc builds pretty much his entire self around being able to defeat Ray again.  Plus, considering all of the bonds between their counterparts? It’s obvious that in another life, these two would have been friends, or even lovers, which just makes their actual first meeting all the more tragic.  They have a wealth of possibilities to explore, and it’s one of the most popular ships in the fandom for a reason.

Appleshipping (Rin/Yugo)

otherwise known as THE CUTEST OTP....I don’t know what to say about Apple that I or others haven’t said before.  They are such a power couple.  They’re so sweet and wholesome, but they’re also inherently kind of tragic.  They grew up in a world that didn’t want them to survive, but they did.  Yugo’s pure love for Rin, and Rin’s motherly nagging, probably out of fear that Yugo’s happy nature might end up with him getting hurt in this awful world they live in, hiding her own deep love for him back, is just such a sweet, beautiful combination.  The way they constantly work together and constantly think of each other is just so sweet and lovely, and I love them a lot.

Lustershipping (Yuzu/Masumi)

The ORIGINAL Arc V gays, the one I shipped before I even started watching the damn show.  Shallow bit out of the way first, but they’re a pink/blue ship, and their color schemes together are GORGEOUS, which is my weakness.

Past that, though, this is the first pair of significant f/f rivals we’ve gotten in YGO to my knowledge, and I’ve found lately that I’ve become something of a sucker for some brands of rival pairs.  They’re antagonistic, but it drives them both to be better, and they shit-talk each other, which is great to see with an f/f rival pair, but they end up being super respectful and even grateful to each other for pushing them to get better and better.  And if you don’t think Masumi’s got a crush on Yuzu at the very least, I don’t know what to tell you lol.  She gave the girl a ROSE.

I’d love to play with their continuing relationship more with the pair of them as rivals who eventually become friends before they know it, and then perhaps something more :)

Pendulumshipping (Yuya/Reiji)

And here we are.  You all knew it was coming if you’ve been here for longer than 10 minutes, lol.  Yuya/Reiji was my fave from the beginning, and it only grew and grew and grew until it became my most important and favorite OTP of everything I’ve ever shipped.

I’ve told the story a million times, but I first began shipping them when Reiji imagined he was dueling Yuya while testing his pendulum cards.  What kind of a person do you have to be to move someone as immovable as Reiji, who’s spent his entire life making himself strong and unaffected for the task ahead?  What kind of person do you have to be to stick in Reiji’s mind like that?  And for a while, it felt very one-sided to me, though I played around with the idea of Yuya eventually returning those feelings -- still, back then, I felt almost guilty about the ship because more than one person called it potentially abusive, and I could see where they were coming from -- canon at that point had shown them as antagonists towards each other after all.  And then canon kept trucking along and showed me that it wasn’t just that at all -- a seed of trust was starting to blossom between the two of them.  The moment that Yuya called out Reiji’s name by his first name out of concern to see him trapped with the Council, that’s when I realized they absolutely did both have some level of trust in and care for each other.  And when Yuya shouted out his trust in Reiji despite Roget’s revelation about Reiji’s father, proving that he did trust Reiji and his judgement after all, and when their tag duel arrived, and Reiji decided he would throw in with Yuya all the way, that he would stand behind him and believe in him til the end and the two of them fought together, that was it.  It’s place as my favorite OTP was sealed.

There’s just something so soft and gentle about them, despite their beginnings.  They don’t have the same antagonistic air to them that most main ygo protag/rival pairs have to time.  Despite their beginnings, they were always on the same side, and it was never about trying to one up the other, even at their last battle -- it was always about working together for a common goal, and making the other better.  And I just really, really love that.

[k8s8-blog]

8 Reasons Why

I was taking a nice, peaceful nap on the couch when my roommate came in and insisted that we watch the new Netflix show that everyone is talking about, Thirteen Reasons Why. Being a bookseller, I know all about the teen book that inspired it so I put a pillow over my head and tried to go back to sleep. But of course about ten minutes in I was asking “who’s that?” and “what’s going on now?” And before I knew it we were binge-watching the show until early morning. 

(For those of you who don’t know, Thirteen Reasons Why is about a teen girl named Hannah who kills herself and leaves behind tapes documenting 13 reasons why she killed herself, all of them placing blame on other characters.)

By the end of the show I was sobbing and could not sleep because terrible images shown in the last episode kept flashing across my mind’s eye. Thirteen reasons later and I was still confused as to WHY. Why does this kind of thing happen? Why did I just watch that? Why did Selena Gomez and co. think that it was okay to put this kind of content on Netflix? Many of my friends suffer from mental illness and this show has been a hot topic over the last few days. Here’s some thoughts I’ve been developing as to why or why not people should be watching this show. I tried to give it a fair shake. So if you’ve been thinking about watching it but haven’t yet, here’s some info from someone who watched all of it. 

Reasons To Watch:

1. The writing in this show is definitely noteworthy.

 I’m tired of reading books like Fault In Our Stars, or watching pretty much any CW show, full of stiff, contrived dialogue between teens that is nothing like what actually comes out of high schoolers mouths today. It’s ridiculous. I was honestly expecting as much from Thirteen Reasons Why but I was pleasantly surprised. Don’t get me wrong, the situation is not exactly realistic and the content being discussed in the show is not commonplace for high school hallways, but the way the teens in the show interacted and talked to each other was actually believable which was refreshing.

2. The acting is fantastic.

I would fully support Oscars going to ANY actor or actress in this show. There was a little bit of over-acting, but that is a given for such a dramatic topic. Overall, every character was multi-dimensional and portrayed phenomenally. The cast drove the show forward, making you want to pay attention and eliciting sympathy for even the most hated characters and anger towards even the most loved characters. There’s no denying 13 Reasons is full of talent.

3. The message of the show is poignant and makes its mark.

The theme of the show is that bullying can have devastating effects yet we are all capable of doing it. Even though it’s easy to basically know that, watching this show makes you BELIEVE it and forces you reevaluate not only the way you see others but also the way you treat others. The message is delivered... again, and again, and again.

4. The show makes depression and mental illness relatable and understandable. 

I have heard some people argue that since the show does not mention mental illness by name most of the time that it is swept under the rug and overlooked. In this case, I disagree. I think that by taking an average teenager going through traumatizing situations that a lot of us have been through and showing her developing deep-rooted reactions to those experiences (which could also be considered undiagnosed symptoms of PTSD or depression), it helps breach the distant way our society tends to look at mental illness. Not labeling Hannah as depressed allows people to better empathize with her symptoms because they are not viewing her as “different” or “other” the way many people view the mentally ill. And I feel like that empathy creates a greater understanding which leads to better and more efficient help in the real world. But I could be wrong.

5. There is relatively diverse casting.

Even though the main two characters were white, the cast was filled with minority actors who did not represent the usual tropes. The best part was that the villain was a straight, white male. This is definitely (at least) a step in the right direction.

6. This show sparks necessary social discourse.

Regardless of how well issues in the show are depicted (that’s a whole other discussion), 13 Reasons undertakes discussing a huge variety of serious issues present in our society, from sexual assault and suicide, to bullying and school shootings, to toxic masculinity and lgbtq+ visibility... watching any episode of this show can begin important conversations we need to be having with each other. I have been engaging in tough discussions with friends non stop because of this show and I believe that anything that creates that kind of social discourse is an asset in some way, shape, or form.

Reason Why Not To Watch:

7. The glorification of suicide is central to the plot.

We all just want to be cared about and remembered after we die. The show presents a girl who no one really understood or cared about until she killed herself and left messages for everyone, making a huge impact and denying anyone the right to forget her. Hell, she’s the subject of an entire T.V. show because she killed herself. You can’t tell me that is not an intriguing concept for many people. But suicide is dark and painful and tragic, not the melancholic yet beautiful subject of the next hipster T.V. series. I appreciated the purpose of the show but worry about the effect.

8. This was hands down the most triggering thing I have ever watched.

There are two graphic rape scenes shown. I can’t explain to you how sick I felt having them on the big screen in my living room. There is no skimming over the details. It was sick and horrible and drawn out in both scenes. 

When the main character kills herself, they show it in detail. You see everything until she takes her last breath, they even show her mother finding the body. This is NOT OKAY. I have never cried so hysterically or sobbed so hard because of a show. It was gross and insensitive and I’m never watching that show ever again.

That’s about all I can think of, folks. 

I hope these eight reasons help you decide whether or not to watch Thirteen Reasons. If I had to sum up in three words whether or not I would recommend watching this show, it would probably be something like NOT WORTH IT, or DON’T DO IT. In the end you’re probably going to watch it anyway, though, so just make sure you 1. have a giant teddy bear with you 2. keep a box of tissues nearby and 3. (most importantly) please make sure you are in the right headspace.