#and then went back to work wednesday. stupid
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scrolling back through my liveblogging of the day of the nyc concert because of recent notifications and its such a fun mixed bag of emotions to relive it all again
#helloooooo pineapple in my notes i do not mind the likes and reblogs <3#but it was such a crazy day that day of the show. so much happened#i also didn't remember that the day before the concert is when my bus got messed up and was taking me back to ny#and i had to get a car service home and everything#and then there was the concert the next day!#and what i had done was worked monday. took all of tuesday off for the concert. got like maybe 4 hour of sleep if that#and then went back to work wednesday. stupid#it worked out fine lol but i dont think id do it that way again idk#other remembrances of the day:#my biggest regret is getting all worked up abt my stupid letter that never got to them anyway like jeez. obviously i still enjoyed the show#but still. OH and i missed out on getting the latte pinback buttons#not the biggest deal but i did want those. i was just awkwardly standing around before the nyc show#and the merch line was always super long anyway#what else. oh i wish i could have met those of you that were there. but next time! im cooler now so next time.#the show itself was crazyyyy. again so fun and surreal#one of the tags on my original review was something along the lines of me having not been this excited since i was a kid#and it was really like that. like it really was that absolute pure overjoyed excitement that i haven't felt for a long time#i felt the same at the hollywood bowl. just having so much fun (missing it now lol 🥲)#cant remember if i mentioned this before but when i was standing outside the stage door i saw both spike lee and adam driver leave backstage#adam driver is Tall. i didnt even recognize him at first fdhgkgkg#anyway. some thoughts almost a year later wow!
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here’s to hoping for a ✨better✨ next week… _(:3 」∠)_
#really long rant about my ✨work woes✨ incoming— pls lemme have this moment before i cry at the interns on monday—#short summary of my utterly horrendous week go—#on monday: the machines kept taking turns to die (and that stupid self-restarting computer aaaaaaaaaaa—)#tuesday: the machines were horrible (again). and the final chapter of act 1 of the mona manga came out that night (which was much sad :( )#wednesday: was relocated to that acid-using station and got an acid burn on a really inconvenient part of my hand >:(#like yo. acid. why couldn’t you have landed on the back of my hand instead??#why did you *have* to splash onto the left side of the base of my left index finger?? i can’t even wrap a plaster around it and it sucks >:(#thursday: the machines were horrendous too! they refused to pass the daily quality checks!!! and there were tons of samples to load too!#as a bonus this lady kept hijacking the computer to check results or something while i was trying to enter stuff into the job queue thing#(the job queues for the stupid machines that is)#and so i could do absolutely ✨nothing✨ while she did her stuff… and then she complained that my workstation was really slow that day >:/#lady p l s. blame the machines!! and it’s only my literal second day at that station so— :( and you kept stealing control of the computer :(#and then there’s today. friday. (ʘ‿ʘ) the person who loaded the samples last night put said samples into the wrong slots of the machine…#…and so the dumb acid autofiller spewed out acid anyway. which spilled onto the machine and then evaporated (for the most part) overnight#and so! when i popped in to the workstation a good 10 min late (having overslept a little due to believing it was already saturday)…#i noticed the wrongly placed samples，smelled the really strong scent of acid，went ‘ah maybe the toluene reacted with the solvents’…#…and just carried on as per normal. it only clicked that those were acid fumes from the missed samples when my eyes started to water ಥ‿ಥ#and even then i ran off to find a coworker to ask ‘will the thing still autofill if there aren’t any beakers in the indicated slots’…#but ofc i couldn’t articulate properly bc i was ✨lightheaded✨ from the acid fumes. i felt really loopy for almost an hour after that tbh :(#and so i still have no idea how i’m still employed at this place tbh. all i do is blabber nonsensically and forget my coworkers’ names :/#but i think my terrible jokes have become a little more commonplace in the workplace. whoops.#i’d say ‘merry christmas’/‘happy new year’/‘happy birthday’ when i give printouts to others，and now they say it back to me lol#i stg my sense of humour is utterly horrible. no wonder why this higher up lady (probably) secretly dislikes me lol#like she’d say ‘i’ll train you in [test method]’ only to give like a half an hour overview before leaving me to fend for myself </3#on the other hand，she’d train and guide literally every other person for hours on end till they’re familiar with the test method :(#or maybe she thinks i’m too capable (lol). prolly not though. i usually stare confusedly at her like 👁👄👁 through her explanations#well. i think i’m done with my venting for now. see you tomorrow.#inedible blubbering
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Diet Diaries
Hi all! Thank you so much for 500 followers! Here's a little style switch up to celebrate, got a lotta refs in this one and I quite leaned into the diary entries so I hope it's not too much! Hope y'all enjoy this stereotype reversal and as always, best! -Occam
Monday March 21st-
Andy:
I am beyond sick of Steve. Moving in together was a mistake, I don’t care how cheap the rent is, he is a narcissistic slob and I am eager to never see him again. Well no, I shouldn’t get ahead of myself. Our
R.A. had this idea to try and walk in each other's shoes, which I don’t know? It might not be the worst thing? My big idea was switching diets actually- honestly I’m just hoping if he ate more like me he’ll stop stinking up the dorm. I can dream at least. Literally though he just can’t go to the gym as often if he eats like me. If I'm lucky at the very least his deodorant will last longer, I cannot take another day of his b.o. seeping through the walls, ugh! Anyway, wish me luck! I’m sure this will be a breeze for me, he usually just eats junk anyway, hope he enjoys my salads~
Steve:
Andy that little fucker. He was being such a little bitch to James and now I’ve gotta eat his rabbit food for a week or lose this bet or whatever. Steve don’t lose tho. Lil twink’s gotta eat whatever I make him too and you can bet your ass I’m gonna make him match my macros if I’ve gotta starve myself like he wants. Fuck! This shit is going to absolutely tank my routine! I’ve gotta make Andy give up. I’m gonna go so hard on him he’ll have to hit weights if he doesn't want to blow up like a pig. Maybe then he’ll stop bitching any time I don’t fucking shower every time I get back home.
Tuesday March 22nd-
Andy:
My Lord! He is trying to kill me! I don’t know how anyone could consistently eat as much as he’s telling me to. I’m so bloated from all this food.. He looks so smug every time he tells me to keep eating, I’m sure he doesn’t eat like this. He’s just trying to break me but I’m not going to let him win this easy.
Ugh, I feel so bloated my pants are so tight on my waist. I didn’t think meat sweats were a thing but man I am needing to put on deodorant like twice a day now and I’m not even exercising. I will say that now that I’m eating so much, I don’t hate the idea of going to the gym. It’s been a while since I went but I should probably at least hit up the treadmill lest I get even more of a gut- maybe I’ll see if he wants to go tomorrow. This is all just an exercise to understand each other more after all, no need to make it a stupid competition like he wants eh~
Steve:
Fuck! I am so tired of Andy’s pussy-ass diet. I had absolutely no energy at the gym today, I told all my bros that I was just gonna take it easy but fuck! I really was working my ass off and I struggled to even meet a PR I set last week. It was supposed to be a push day and I didn’t even get a chest pump! Why the fuck am I still going. I’m abso-fucking-lutely not getting gains on his fuckin’ bitch-ass salads and oats.
Eatin’ like a fucking twink and the fucker has the nerve to ask to go to the gym with me tomorrow. I’ll make sure he regrets that >:) Gonna work him like a horse so he’ll throw in the towel! After feeling how sore actually working on yourself makes ya, he might actually learn something. I’ll turn in early so I can go all out and show him what a real man looks like.
Wednesday March 23rd-
Andrew:
Man! I totally get why Steven eats so much now~ I am absolutely raring to go and get this; He said I could go to the gym with him today! He even seemed like he wanted me to go with him! I feel like I have more energy than I’ve ever had before, I might even try some weights!! I don’t know but I’m so excited! It’s like I can feel my chest and biceps begging me to go and hit some iron haha! Or whatever those “bros” say~ I hope he’s got something good planned for lunch because I fuck Sorry! I just want to show him that I can do all this dude stuff too! I’m a man right? I guess all this protein is making me feel more like a man than usual idk. Either way though I’m ready to go! Hope we have some fun!
Steven:
That bitch’s fuckin’ fru fru salads are ruining my PR’s for sure! I bet he knew that when he begged me to take him to the gym today, knew it was the only time he could show off to me was when I’m so out of it. And he didn't! Just to be clear I could still wipe the floor with him even if I’m not at my A-game. Ugh, I do gotta hand it to the little fucker though. I KNOW he hasn’t even really set foot in a gym before but man. Beginners luck my ass, as soon as I showed him a technique he lifted like he’s been doing it his whole life! It’s like I could see his pecs and tris swelling up with each lift. Not that I was staring at the bitch or anything but he’s just I just need this fuckin’ diet thing to end so I can get back to my grind, I guess I wouldn’t hate taking him to the gym more often, would be hot to make a bitch into a bro Fuck! What am I writing, I just need to lift again.
Thursday March 24th-
Andrew:
Bro! Weird? Whatever, I am absolutely on fire! Steven’s diet is absolutely killer! I don’t know how it’s working so well but man I couldn’t care less, I felt like a pro in there! My coaches in school would always shit on me for not trying but man! I was barely trying yesterday but I could tell from the look on Steven’s face that I was acing it! I guess I’ll have to admit to him that he is definitely onto something with his macros but man, not until he gives up haha! Man, I need to chill haha, it’s not like I’m any stronger than I was Monday but man, looking at myself in the mirror it just seems like my clothes are just fitting better. Catching on my chest rather than my stomach y’know? I’ve never noticed that there is muscle on my arms before but man the way my sleeves are kinda hugging my biceps mm. I need to chill haha! Can’t use all my energy before hitting the gym again today!
OH! Also totally weird, I’ve had to shave twice this week! Once last night and then again this morning which is so weird! I’m not complaining though, it’s not like I wouldnt look hot with a beard right? Although my face is a little itchy already, my chest too? Whatever though haha! Time to head back to the grind lol!
Steven:
God!! Andy Andrew is being such an asshole! He’s clogging the sink shaving which I know he would so be on my ass if I had done that. Wait, he did get on my ass for shaving! But it hasn’t been a problem this week, it’s like I’m not even growing stubble for some reason? Probably from not working so hard at the gym, is that how that works? Whatever it’ll be over as soon as this stupid diet thing is. We’re halfway through now. Thank God! Because that fucking twink is starting to stink up the dorm which again!! He was such a little bitch all the time to me about that! It’s like he’s literally stopped using deodorant as soon as he started needing it! He’s never exerted himself in his life and now that his pits are sweating at all he’s suddenly allergic to hygiene, ugh! I saw last night too the fucker fell asleep with his head in his pit too so it’s not like he doesn’t know it.
It was a little surprising actually, cause I would’ve sworn he was hairless like one of those freak cats but man his pit was as thick as my pubes! Thicker maybe, uh? Man I wish I could get that image out of my head, it’s like the tuft was pushing out further each time he inhaled, man that’s kinda hot? Fuck! I swear this twink-ass diet is making me think like him too. I need to sneak to the gym later, without him. I cannot have him getting ahead even while I’m still on his chickenshit diet.
Friday March 25th-
Steven:
Ah!! That Little bitch! He was already at the gym when I got there! Ugh! It makes me want to punch a wall, or fight him. Or something I dont know! It’s just, he was lifting my body weight on the bench when he saw me, it was so ho ugh! It doesn’t matter what it was, I can’t stop thinking of that smug look on his face- what I would give to wipe it off… That absolute prick knew what he was doing. Ugh, speaking of pricks! He may as well have not been wearing shorts at all by how much his cock was showing through them.
I knew my meal prepping was fucking tight but man, I can’t believe hot its made him. It just really fucking turns me on, or no its such a turn on for chicks. Yeah. Whatever. I need this bet to end already. Clearly he’s totally obsessed with my lifestyle so he should just admit it already! Also, hate to say it, but to Andrew’s credit his diet ain't too bad either. I’d never tell him this, and it is all a little emasculating but my skin has never looked this good. I’m not even doing skincare or anything but it’s like I’ve been on a routine for years, it’s crazy! It’s still ruining my upper gains but man, my ass looks so good it's crazy..
Oh also re: facial hair, I woke up this morning and could’ve sworn I used to have chest hair but now it looks like I’ve got just a little left around my nipples and leading up from my pubes? I might go ahead and shave those too, might as well be totally smooth like a chick right haha, I wonder what Andrew would think? I need to chill haha, maybe I’ll go see if he’s still at the gym~
Andrew:
Fuuuuck dude lol. I should’ve started hitting up the gym ages ago. Don’t know what I was even wasting time on before I started doing twice-a-days? Studying I guess but I can figure that shit stuff out hm. Fuck it is so much better to be strong than a dweeb. Every set it feels like I’m just busting out new PR’s! Gonna need to buy new clothes though cause I am absolutely tearing up my crop tops, my twinky little wardrobe just isn’t cutting it anymore. Maybe Steven’d be down for a clothes swap, I’ve seen him eying up my fits all week, god knows he’ll fit them better lol. Oh haha, and speaking of him eying things up >:) You should’ve seen his little face blush when he walked into the gym this morning! He looked so pissed at me lol, but I’m not gonna grab him to come along every time I need to get some sets in right? It was pretty embarrassing for him yesterday anyway, the way I showed him up lol. I’m not just gonna sit around and watch him not lift weights when I can figure this shit out myself, thought it was supposed to be his thing though lol.
Mm, saying that though, I def didn’t hate having a little audience from his treadmill. God, his blushing face as he stared directly at my work-out chub. Fuck, it really got me going. It really helped my sets too haha. Maybe I should hit him up lol, I can tell how bad he wants me >:)
Saturday March 26th-
Stevie:
Ugh! That douche is walking around the dorm completely shirtless! Do you know what it’s like to have an oaf flexing away across the room from you 24/7! He knows what he’s doing, and thank god my dick isn’t showing through my shorts like I thought it usually does because he might literally pounce on me then-
Ugh! I didn’t even mention this morning. I literally woke up to him jacking off his morning wood! Do you know what a bitch-fit he would have thrown if I did that! He would’ve filed a police report, probably the dweeb, or. I guess I could too?? But it was just so fucking hot. I tried to pretend I was asleep, but he totally caught me. He literally smirked and made eye contact as he finished too- thank god he didn’t see my boner as he asked if I wanted to clean up his mess. He’s such an ass!
I still have a boner now actually, it’s his B.O. driving me actually crazy! It’s like I can’t think near him if he’s going to stink this bad god.. Oh, he’s doing pullups on the door frame fuck. He’s supposed to be hairless but I see sweat dripping from his pits god I can't. God with each pull up his chest looks even more powerful. His cock is bobbing up and down in his pants and I can not look away. Fuck it’s getting even bigger. I’m supposed to be the strong one right? It’s not, fuck. This isn’t right. He just so fucking, god that body, I need him-
And Drew:
Heh. I knew that fucking twink couldn’t resist me. Every little thing I do wraps him even tighter around my finger. Every flex and smirk turns him on even more I bet he can’t even think straight the way his little dick is losing it in his briefs- I took all his jocks since I’m sure he would need them anymore. Bet the little bitch didn’t even remember they were his.
Might as well have been drooling when he saw me jacking my cock this morning lol, surprised he didn’t take me up on the offer to lick up the mess. I know he wanted to lol. He’ll get the chance soon enough though >:) God it’s a two-way street though. That fucking twink is so fuckable now, thank god he doesn’t need to shave anymore, don’t want his peachfuzz scratching my cock cause god that mouth is so fuckable now.. To say nothing of his fucking juicy ass, god! I’ve been working out in the room all morning waiting for him to give in and ask me to fuck him, idk if I can hold it in much longer. I might need to jack it again, my balls are bluer than I ever thought they could be, fuck. It’s like they're sore. Ugh I feel them getting heavier, heh, that little fucker cant resist though. God I feel precum starting to pool in my jock. If I put my pit within a foot of his face I give him five before he can’t help but shove his face in. I need to fuck him, but as if I’m going to let him see how desperate I am. Stevie that little fucker. He’ll be riding my cock any second now.
Sunday March 27th-
Stevie:
Fuck <3 !! He finally fucked me!! God, it was like nothing I’ve experienced before~ His cock was like a beer can and goddd the scratch of his beard as we were making out.. Hehe if I keep thinking about him I might just cum again right now! He can fully toss my body like a ragdoll and I’d thank him ugh! He’s just so hot, and to think he wants to fuck me!! Ah~ I’ll need to keep myself pretty so he won’t get tired of me hehe! Not that it’ll be a problem, I just need to keep on his diet, God who knew it would be this good! I don’t even remember whatever problems we had before all this and I can’t imagine anything better than getting fucked by him <3 Ah! He he~ He’s staring at my ass right now so I guess it’s time for another round! Can’t thank our R.A. enough for this idea, well he he I’ve got an idea for how to thank him, oh! Drew’s ripped off his jock! Wish me luck he he~
Drew:
My little bitch is so tight, fuck. I’m surprised he can even take my cock but god can he ride it. Gonna have a hard time taking a break from fucking him to even hit the gym. Need to make sure the twink keeps up the diet tho or we’ll have an issue. Be sure to make him come to the gym whenever I do, if not to tighten up then to watch me heh. Won’t hate fucking him in the locker room too. Mm, God his fucking tiny body makes me feel so powerful. And I fucking am. God my bis are the size of his thick thighs, fuck his ass. My cock is straining my jock just thinking about it. His tiny waist ugh, I need my sweaty body over him now. Not like he’ll mind, the horny fucker. Mmm hope he’s ready to take my cock, bet his mouth is already watering heh. Pop my pecs at him and he’ll struggle not to cum on the spot, he better keep it together until I let him though. Can’t be having my bitch blow his load that fast. Thank fuck he’s chilled out finally, though I guess my cock’ll work wonders on anyone >:) speaking of it’s about that time again. Hope he’s ready for some more action, hate to have to find another hole.
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Clownfall: Endgame
I am calling it that in the full knowledge that batshit things may yet happen, but listen. Listen. We have a year left before the general election. I am hedging my bets and assuming all that comes in that year will be Tory manoeuvring ahead of that. Let's all hope for a nice quiet year in which everything can fall neatly under that banner, that won't ruin this naming convention.
Previous Reading
Important Terminology - Required Reading
What is a Whip?
How do Whips work?
Shadow Cabinet
Front Benchers, Back Benchers and the Cabinet
What do we need to call an early General Election?
The Adventures of Big Dog the Clown - Suggested Reading
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Elanor’s Guide to Liz Truss - Suggested Reading
Character-based prequel
The Premiership of Liz Truss
The Next Steps - Suggested Reading
The post-Truss contenders
Bye Matt
BoJo Resigns as MP
Alright, that's probably everything. Just nice to have it all in one place, innit? If you would like a nice soothing soundtrack to your reading, here's my recommendation. On with the show!
Clownfall: Endgame
Wednesday
So, let's start with charismatic and charming Home Secretary Suella Braverman! You may remember her from such hits as "Quitting before she could be fired after breaking the law only to be rehired by Sunak almost immediately and without consequence to appease the right wing nutjobs in the party", and "Claiming Pakistani men have a culture that makes them work in abuse rings to target vulnerable white English girls" (I should add that, if you are unfamiliar with Suella Braverman, regardless of what that quote implies, she is not, in fact, white); recently she made the news because she announced that being homeless is a "lifestyle choice". So true, Suella! They could give it up any time they wanted. They could, for example, get together and break in and steal your fucking house.
But in particular, here we're focussing on her recent stance towards the multiple huge pro-Palestine marches that have been taking place in London. So far she has indicated that she wants people who wave Palestinian flags to be arrested, so that's very measured and rational of her; but, last Wednesday (Nov 8th), she decided to write a lil opinion piece in the Times all about how mean and biased and liberal the police are. This is an absolutely fascinating assertion to I suspect literally anyone who has ever been involved with the police. But no! Quoth Suella, aggressive right-wing protesters are "rightly met with a stern response", while "pro-Palestinian mobs" are "largely ignored".
And, she claims, the march on Saturday isn’t simply a cry for help for Gaza, but an "assertion of primacy by certain groups - particularly Islamists - of the kind we are more used to seeing in Northern Ireland".
Imagine how well all that went down.
Thursday
You are underestimating how that went down, because it emerges that Suella deVille did not, in fact, get any form of validated sign-off or permission from Number 10 before squirting her ill-informed liquid horseshit all over the front desk of the Times news room, and that, Tumblrs, you'll be surprised to learn, is actually quite an important and compulsory part of criticising the police when you are the Home Secretary. Like, there is a Ministerial Code about this. It is very clear. It is in Article 8.2, Tumblrs. Thou Shalt Have Permission From Number 10 Before Making Media Interventions.
“The content was not agreed with Number 10,” a spokesperson for Prime Minister Rishi Sunak told reporters, referring to the prime minister’s Downing Street office. The ministerial code is clear that any ministerial media interventions need approval from No 10.
-AlJazeera
And the Tories are furious! The bloodbath forms quickly and loudly and the hounds start baying! Clown noses are flying everywhere! The factions are drawn! Because even now, there are Tories too stupid to understand that whether you agree with someone or not they still have to follow the rules! Also the other parties realise they can offer some actual opposition here, given that Suella has essentially dragged a barrel into the middle of the House of Commons dressed in a fish costume, handed around a set of loaded rifles, and then crawled inside to wait. The result is that the calls for her resignation are both deafening and pleasingly cross-party.
"(This is a) dangerous attempt to undermine respect for police", says Labour's shadow home secretary Yvette Cooper. "(It's) irresponsible," says London mayor Sadiq Khan. "The PM's weakness when it comes to standing up to Suella is the most shocking thing in all this," claims a senior Labour source.
They're wrong, of course. The most shocking thing is Liberal Democrat leader Sir Ed Davey realising he can actually appear in the paper if he plays this right and so surfaces to attempt some politics. "(Sunak) must finally act with integrity by sacking his out-of-control home secretary!" he declares, frightening many MPs who had forgotten he was even in the room with them.
Meanwhile, several Tories approach the BBC anonymously.
"The home secretary's awfulness is now a reflection on the prime minister. Keeping her in post is damaging him," says one. Another straight-up describes her as "unhinged". Another claims the comparison with Northern Ireland is "wholly offensive and ignorant", and really, all of this is permanently triggering that "Heartbreaking: the worst person you know just made a great point" reaction image.
Saturday
Hey, speaking of reaction images, look, Labour has a go:
Well. They tried.
BUT! Do you want to know the INTERESTING bit??!
Enter: Nadine Dorries! Mad shrieking pink harpy who spends her days maintaining a BoJo shrine in her bedroom! Always the most hinged of politicians, let's see what she has to say.
Former cabinet minister Nadine Dorries claimed Ms Braverman was trying to get sacked to give her a platform of martyrdom in service of the right-wing.
"The competition is on now for who is going to be the leader of the opposition," Ms Dorries told the BBC.
???!??!?
PERTINENT POLITICAL OBSERVATION FROM DORRIES?!?!?? The most shocking part of this whole affair. Remember that time she yelled at a journalist during an interview about Boris Johnson's latest scandal when he asked her how Johnson was feeling about the whole thing and inadvertently implied they were having an affair when No One Asked? God, wonders never cease. She's even acknowledging the Tories can't win the next GE, look. I'd say this is growth, except I am 100% positive she's just being catty about BlowJo being fired again.
Anyway, the real Saturday issue: it's Armistice Day, and there's a pro-Palestine march planned.
Now, to give context, Armistice Day has a creepy level of patriotic state-worship attached to it in the UK. Some time in October everyone on telly suddenly starts wearing a poppy, and if you don't you get hanged, drawn and quartered by (a) the British press, and then (b) a baying mob outside your living room. You most be performatively sad. You must perform reverence and hero worship and say things like "Never again" all while whole-heartedly supporting current wars. You must talk about "our brave boys", and share the works of dead poets from the trenches, and then completely fail to absorb any of their lessons. If anyone tries to wear the white poppy to distance themselves from the current political appropriation while still commemorating the millions of conscripted casualties, you accuse them of being "woke" and pissing on the worthy dead of WW1. It's a whole thing, and politicians love using it as an excuse to point fingers and mock each other for being insufficiently patriotic if they wear the wrong tie to the ceremonies, or choose to walk with actual veterans rather than a head of the current army, or any number of other things. And then on November the 12th they'll order a drone strike or something.
So, off the bat, you can see how a pro-Palestine rally on the same day was likely to be seen as provocative to some.
"Some" included Sunak! He didn’t (publicly at least) ask the police to ban the protest, but did call on organisers to call it off, claiming the choice of date was “provocative and disrespectful”, because as I say, a march calling for the ceasefire of a genocide is super disrespectful to every sad dead poet in a trench who dreamed of a ceasefire so they could live, or something.
But the inevitable therefore happens, which is that far-right activists agree that it's disrespectful, and so decide to violently target the march to show their respect for the idea of peace on Armistice Day, or something.
Here's the planned route by the organisers:
Note, though, that the Armistice ceremony happens at the Cenotaph - visibly nowhere near the march. These two events actually wouldn't have overlapped, if it weren't for far-right protestors deliberately linking them to stop them being disrespectfully linked, or something.
And that's exactly what happened. From the Guardian:
Perhaps the most striking incident, though, was when far-right protesters charged past police who sought to hold them back from the Cenotaph. In this video, a man shouts “this is fucking our country” in celebration. Whereas the pro-Palestine march had been excluded from the area as a precaution, the far right was not; by overwhelming the police, they supposedly sought to defend the site from an enemy that simply wasn’t there.
(that's quite a good article of the whole thing, actually, I recommend giving it a read.)
Crucially to the clown show, though, several politicians and others accused Suella deVille of emboldening the far-right, which... well, several of the far-right protestors straight up said was the case on the day, so hard to disagree, really.
Rumours of a reshuffle in Whitehall circumnavigate the land so fast the truth gets sucked into a tornado and is declared MIA. Here's the thing! I've covered a few Cabinet reshuffles by now, Tumblrs, you know the drill. Reshuffles are always deniable until they actually happen – so if, say, a reshuffle was going to happen on Monday 13 November 2023, there’d be no need to publicise it in advance. That way, if things change and politics happen, you don't need to retract anything :)
Because, remember: reshuffles are always controversial. Yes, some people get demoted, and those people will often kick off, and some people who don't deserve it get promoted, and lots of people kick off. But the big thing is that a lot more people get overlooked for promotion.
His most ardent supporters would say that Rishi Sunak is a cautious man (if you'll allow me a moment to express my own view on the matter, Tumblrs, if you'll forgive this crumb of personal opinion amongst my otherwise impeccable journalling of greatest integrity, I once did a teambuilding task with my students where they had to build the best possible bridge out of uncooked spaghetti and pieces of marshmallow, and I personally would liken the structural integrity of his spine to the losing team's entry), and reshuffles will spread a lot of disappointment to Tory MPs who lose – or fail to gain – a cabinet position.
So, all in all... regardless of Suella's idiocy...
There's no guarantee of a reshuffle. Rumours are just that - whether they prove to be true or not remains to be seen.
Week Commencing Monday 13th November, 2023
New week, new challenges! And it's going to be a big week this week. On Wednesday (tomorrow, at time of writing), three big things are going to be announced, and these announcements will colour everything else this week:
One. The Supreme Court decide whether the government will be allowed to enact their plan to send some migrants claiming asylum in the UK to Rwanda, a signature Braverman plan that human rights campaigners (including many in Rwanda) have been trying to block for ages.
It’s a massive deal anyway – a flagship government idea that’s been bogged down in the court, and we’ll finally have an answer one way or another. For what it’s worth, the Tories aren’t confident about winning it, either. The optimists among them reckon it’s a 50/50 chance, the pessimists reckon it’s 70/30 against, so it's iffy at best.
But here's the thing!
Plenty of Tories have always disliked Suella. Others could handle the odd outburst she has, but can’t stomach the sheer number of them lately - the Lib Dem non-entity man was absolutely right that she is rapidly growing out of control and just does not know when to shut the entire fuck up.
Which means! If the Supreme Court allows the Rwanda plan, Braverman could become emboldened, like a far-right protest injuring police officers to defend the cenotaph from people who are nowhere near it and have no interest in it. Do we want an emboldened Braverman?? Well; no, obviously. I also don't want dysentery, or rotten meat, or a serial killer in my neighbourhood. But it's a question even Tories are asking themselves, which is notable.
Plus, even if the court allows it, there will still be months of planning, and lawyers might still prevent the plans in the long run... But psychologically, the issue is this: the government wants this win, but probably doesn’t benefit from Braverman feeling victorious.
Two. We’ll get inflation figures. The government promised to halve inflation, and it seems likely they’ve managed this. Expect them to massively celebrate this, to distract from the promises they haven’t kept e.g. waiting lists in England, competent governance, etc.
Three. Voting on a ceasefire in Israel seems likely for Wednesday. It’s the SNP’s idea, and it won’t affect government policy (they won’t support a ceasefire – they claim it’ll empower Hamas).
But it’s a big deal for Labour, even more so than the Tories. A Shadow minister has already resigned over the war. A bunch of frontbenchers want a ceasefire, but that isn’t Keir Starmer’s policy, a man who is calling for the colours of the Israel flag to be shown at sports matches to show that "we stand in solidarity with Israel", because you can really count on Starmer to fuck up everything he touches. So what do they do? Abstain? Claim they had a prior commitment?? We might see more resignations, basically. Big day for Starmer.
So! With all that in mind...
Monday
8.43am
Oh look. Timestamps are back. I wonder if that suggests anything?
Suella Braverman is sacked as Home Secretary.
But! Sunak is accused of waiting too long! Which he demonstrably did!
He should have made the decision after the illegal article that she shouldn't have written and triggered a far-right rally on fucking Armistice Day. Instead, remember that 'cautious' descriptor I talked about?? He waited until the tide had turned against her completely, and now looks like he (a) was too much of a useless wimp to fire her until he was sure people would still like him and pat his dick and tell him he's a Good PM, and (b) only fired her because he caved in to that appalling lefty liberal cabal that somehow these days includes the Metropolitan Police of all fucking people, and she'd have been able to stay otherwise.
Shout out to the best comment from Reddit:
u/nowonmai666: Doesn't she normally get sacked on a Friday so she can have the weekend off before being reappointed?
Anyway, that's the big risk now: Braverman’s supporters can claim she was only fired because Sunak caved in to the left.
8.56am
Tory MP Andrea Jenkyns claims Sunak only sacked Braverman because he caved in to the left.
9.00am
Neil O'Brian, Pharmacy Minister, quits to live out his stated dream of being a back-bencher with less power.
*sus*
9.09am
Nick Gibb, Schools Minister, quits to live out his stated dream of being more diplomatic, or something.
*sus*
9.42am
The Lib Dems decide to build on the success of their leader getting to be on telly for his one comment on Thursday and call for a general election. Says Ed Davey: “It was the Prime Minister’s sheer cowardice that kept her in the job even for this long. We are witnessing a broken party and a broken government, both of which are breaking this country.”
Good job! They're having such a good few days.
Anyway remember the Tories don’t have to have a general election until December 2024, though, thanks to the Fixed-term Parliaments Act (2011), which was passed by the coalition government of Tories and, um, Lib Dems. In which Ed Davey served for three years.
Hmm.
9.43am
James Cleverly (remember him?) returns to the Cabinet and is appointed Home Secretary. The party attempts to appear trendy by experimenting with emojis:
This appointment is probably because Tory strategists wanted him in a domestic role to help the party’s chances in the next election; as Surprising Political Pundit Nadine Dorries told us, of all fucking people, the race is now on to lead the opposition.
But hey, this is not likely to lead to any more changes -
10.03am
FORMER PRIME MINISTER, BREXIT-TRIGGERER AND PIG-FUCKER DAVID CAMERON BECOMES FOREIGN SECRETARY
!!!!!!!!!!!!
And look! Another emoji! They're so hip!
(Side note... the balls on this one are astounding, actually. The UK political system has been in chaos ever since Cameron, and he was the first domino. This is not a well-loved former hero that will be greeted warmly by the unwashed masses.)
Awkward though, since just last month Sunak claimed that we’d lived through “30 years of a political system that incentivizes the easy decision, not the right one.” It would be a terrible shame if a journalist was to ask David Cameron whether he agreed with the Prime Minister on that, given that Cameron’s job is to support the Prime Minister now.
Especially since Cameron took to Twitter last month to explicitly criticise Sunak for breaking the Tory promise to deliver High Speed 2.
(Cameron tweeted this criticism last month. Labour MP Angela Rayner however promptly retweets it now lol suck a dick Dave, but try a human one this time)
Also, fun fact, Cameron has just come out of a large-scale lobbying and corruption scandal. Given the state of Sunak, though, that's actually probably what got him the job.
BUT!!! Here's an even funner fact: the man is not an MP. He left politics after he accidentally triggered Brexit and then it came out he'd once face fucked a dead pig's head while it was held on the lap of another Tory; he's been living it up in the lucrative world of after-dinner speaking, as these people do.
So can you do that?? Can you hold a Cabinet position if no one at all has voted for you??
Yes, turns out.
Don't be alarmed by that, though:
But, convention holds that anyone who becomes a Cabinet member while not being an MP needs to be a Peer - that way, if they do bad and naughty things, they can't be held accountable by the House of Commons but they can be held accountable by the House of Lords. Only problem is, Hameron is not a lord...
10.13am
The reshuffle, bafflingly, continues. Jeremy Hunt will remain as chancellor.
For the first time since 2010, the top four positions in government – Prime Minister (Sunak), Chancellor of the Exchequer (Hunt), Home Secretary (Cleverly) and Foreign Secretary (Cameron) – are all held by men.
10.18am
Lots of people tweeting about the historic context of Cameron’s appointment. Here’s my favourite:
10.48am
David Cameron is given a life peerage, so his proper name now is Lord Piggledick.
10.52am
Health secretary Will Quince quits. He wasn’t planning to stand for re-election anyway though, so this one is probably not a shock. But it's important that no one else resi-
11.04am
Decarbonisation minister Jesse Norman resigns.
...
...
...
Time for a
✨Conspiracy Theory✨
Between Quince and Norman – as well as Neil O’Brien and Nick Gibb – we’re seeing several mid-ranking ministers resign, despite being generally regarded as fairly competent.
It’s possible they were fired in private, and they’re publicly resigning to save face. But here’s another theory.
MPs aren’t allowed to seek commercial employment for six months after resigning from the government.
So hypothetically, if you were going to lose your seat in a general election, you’d want to have resigned six months earlier so you can still get a job.
If that’s what these guys are doing, it suggests we’re on track for a May 2024 election...?
11.05am
11.12am
Remember Cameron's financial scandal? Quick background here: David Cameron was specifically vice-chair of a £1bn China-UK investment fund.
So let’s see what throwback former leader Iain Duncan Smith thinks of Cameron’s return:
“I am astonished at this appointment. It seems to send a signal to China that we are pursuing business with them at all costs and any costs. Those who have been sanctioned now feel more abandoned than at any time. Those facing genocide and persecution will feel more abandoned than at any time.”
I cannot believe I am about to say this.
But.
I agree with Iain Duncan Smith *spits on floor*
11.50am
Former Tory deputy prime minister Lord Heseltine is asked to sum up the return of Cameron, and says it’s the “clearest signal that the sort of right wing lurch that we’ve seen and the anti-European movement that we’ve seen has been put to bed, and that will get a message across to people”.
12.13pm
A Tory MP is worried that Cameron’s return will turn back the clock on Brexit and Johnson’s election.
“It is very alarming. I am predicting a softening on small boats, a softening on legal migration. I would not be surprised if the ban on conversion therapy returns.”
... Don’t threaten me with a good time.
Anyway, let’s see how the public actually sees Cameron compared with other PMs!
Yeah, not sure people will mind if Cameron’s not Boris Johnson.
12.43pm
ITV political editor Robert Peston walks past a minister of state. The minister’s on the phone, but takes a moment to heatedly shout at Peston, “The PM just sacked me!”
I guess some days are easier than others as a journalist
12.47pm
Therese Coffey resigns as environment secretary!!!!
*choirs of heavenly angels sing*
You'll remember her of course, Tumblrs - she was one of the thugs manhandling people into the 'right' voting lobbies to force their vote on the day of Liz Truss' fracking law. Rumour has it she still has the Whip handle in her ass.
A lot of people seem to be resigning today! But don't be fooled. In almost every case, it’ll be because they were told to resign. They’ve been sacked, but they resign to save face. A last mercy from their benevolent leader.
My guess: Tessie here is terrible at media skills, so – get rid of her before she hurts general election chances. This, too, is a pattern.
12.52pm
Rachel Maclean sacked as Housing Minister! Fun fact, numbers fans: it took Doctor Who 33 years to make it to eight Doctors, but since the 2019 election, the Tories managed eight Housing Ministers in just under 4 years
trololol
1.15pm
Jeremy Quin quits as Minister for the Cabinet Office.
1.37pm
Times Political Editor Steven Swinford reports that No 10 is struggling to find a new housing minister (owing to rumours the job is cursed). Several people have turned it down, including Jeremy Quin. It is incredible to me that they didn't line someone up before sacking the last guy.
Kemi Badenoch and Michael Gove are apparently unhappy that Rachel Maclean was removed from the role. I for one do not care about the opinions of Kemi Badenoch or Michael Gove.
2.04pm
Health Secretary Steve Barclay becomes Environment Secretary. This is effectively a demotion for him. It is our 5th Environment Secretary in four years. Chasing that Housing Minister record! It took 19 years for Doctor Who to have five Doctors
2.15pm
Richard Holden appointed new Conservative Party chairman.
A 2019-intake Tory MP, he led the charge against Sir Keir Starmer over Beergate, which did damage Starmer a bit (albeit not much, given that it turned out Starmer had complied with lockdown regs, and the accusation was nakedly to try and distract from Partygate). So this appointment looks like more strategy to win the next election - someone not known enough to be hated, with what passes in the modern Tory party for a proven track record.
This could be a sign that the Tories intend to at least try to shore up the Red Wall votes? As unlikely as the Tories are to keep those seats.
That said, Holden’s seat disappears in a boundary change next election, sooooo … we'll see what they do there.
2.24pm
Victoria Atkins appointed Health Secretary, replacing Steve Barclay who’s moved to Environment Secretary. She's a relative unknown but also considered actually competent. Massive middle finger to Steve Barclay
2.37pm
Laura Trott (formerly in pensions) promoted to Chief Secretary to the Treasury.
2.42pm
Science minister George Freeman resigns.
3.18pm
YouGov conducts a snap poll: is the appointment of David Cameron as Foreign Secretary a good decision or a bad decision?
Good decision: 24%
Bad decision: 38%
Don't know: 38%
So that's going well
3.24pm
Greg Hands is made a business minister after losing the Tory chairman role.
John Glen moves from chief secretary to the Treasury to become the Minister for the Cabinet Office and Paymaster General.
3.39pm
With Cameron being a Lord now, he’ll be based in the House of Lords rather than the Commons. The most recent Cabinet Minister to be based in the Lords was former Brexit minister Lord Frost, who did weigh in on the matter:
“[T]hough I was not running a whole Department too. I don’t think it works well to have a lead Cabinet Minister answering questions and defending their Department solely in the Lords. The Lords is not a fully party political environment - nor should it be - and voters are owed proper political scrutiny. In our system, that can only happen in the Commons.”
I cannot believe I am about to say this.
But.
I agree with Lord Frost *spits on floor*
The SNP had already called this out, with MP Stephen Flynn claiming, “The UK is not a serious country.”
4.21pm
Conservative MP Lee Rowley appointed the 16th housing minister in the past 13 years. Even counting David Tennant twice, that's more than all the Doctors Who we've ever had, and that took almost 60 years.
5.16pm
Sky News’s Tamara Cohen reports that Sunak sacked Braverman by phone this morning! Downing Street says there won’t be any exchange of letters between them - this is almost unheard of. Politics runs on paper trails! Everything happens through formal letters! By phone!
It means we’re denied insight into their differences. But Cohen reckons we’re likely to hear from Braverman on Wednesday, as the Supreme Court rules on the Rwanda scheme.
6.03pm
Tory MP Andrea Jenkyns, former Education Minister, submits no-confidence letter in Rishi Sunak.
It's almost like, in the absence of Dorries, she's decided that someone needs to step up and have a tantrum and that someone might as well be her. It is, actually, an extremely funny letter, as these letters go. Normally they're written with a sort of furious earnestness wrapped in formal language. I presume that Andrea Jenkyns MP, former Education Minister, was aiming for something similar, and the first paragraph manages it. But by the end you sort of start to wonder if this was supposed to be a letter she wrote with her therapist to get her feelings out:
My favourite line, when pulled in isolation, is "Yes Boris Johnson, the man who won the Conservative Party a massive majority, was unforgivable enough."
Yeah, Andrea babes. You're bang on there.
6.05pm
Esther McVey is appointed as Cabinet Office minister. Not a full cabinet member, but she will attend cabinet meetings.
This is notable: unlike a lot of today’s appointments, she’s on the right of the party. Her role will be to represent the government on TV and radio as much as possible, talking about gender/culture/British colonial history issues (i.e. she’s anti-woke and a screaming bigot).
In other words, with Braverman gone, McVey is an offering for the populist right of the party to try to appease them.
6.15pm
Sunak tweets about the new cabinet, claiming they’ll make “the right decisions for our great country, not the easy ones.” So it looks like that’s the new slogan, and we're pressing on with austerity
6.27pm
Tim Loughton, a Tory MP on the “One Nation” wing (i.e the David Cameron side) responds to Andrea Jenkyns’s letter of no-confidence by tweeting:
“Where can we submit a letter of no confidence in the Pantomime Dame?”
(It’s Andrea he’s publicly referring to as a pantomime dame there. A lil joke from the Tories for you)
6.31pm
Paul Scully sacked as minister for London. Didn't know that one was a position.
9.43pm
Sunak says that only a two-state solution will allow a new future for Israel/Palestine. This is, um, not what the Prime Minister of Israel wants. Who knows whether the Prime Minister of Israel will survive this crisis anyway – but these are big words from Sunak. Cameron’s influence? Maybe? Interesting either way
10.03pm
And then - PLOT TWIST!!!
According to ITV political editor Robert Peston, a senior government source reveals that Cameron was approached on TUESDAY.
Which means plans were underway to get rid of Braverman not only before the far-right violence on Saturday, but before her anti-police article on Wednesday. It seems she lost her job not because of what she said about police after all; but because she claimed homelessness was a lifestyle choice.
Well well.
11.05pm
And the day finishes with Andrea Leadsom back in government (as Under Secretary of State for Health and Social Care) which nobody saw coming! Pretty demeaning to the other 300 Tory MPs who could have been given this.
The final response from numerous Tories: they are feeling jilted and insulted because David Cameron being brought back when he's NOT EVEN AN MP, RISHI suggests that they themselves are not good enough to be in government.
No one tell them
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leaning on the everlasting arms
member — childhood best friend! pastor's son!joshua x f reader
genre — angst, smut, some fluff, bible college au
word count — 10.3k (my first fic over 10k wowie!!)
synopsis — as kids growing up in the same church, you and joshua were inseperable, until you got to an age where it was considered immoral for girls and boys to be friends. when you find him again just before graduation, he's different than you remember; but so are you.
content warnings — female reader, she/her, reader is implied to be smaller (i'm sorry), discussion of gender roles & religion, no religion is mentioned by name but it's heavily implied to be a form of christianity, reader & shua are both seniors in college, reader wears skirts/dresses but not really by choice, this whole thing is pretty blasphemous oops
smut warnings — descriptions of female anatomy, virgin!joshua x virgin!reader, mutual masturbation, phone sex, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (reader receiving), hints of a voice kink, size kink, praise, begging, really vanilla missionary but it's hot, nicknames (sweetheart, baby, angel)
notes — although i am no longer religious, this is partially based off of my own experiences with the extremely traditional christian church i was raised in. however, please keep in mind that this is fiction and does not reflect my beliefs nor joshua's beliefs so don't take the plot too seriously. this piece is not meant to discuss whether certain religions are "right" or "wrong" so please do not comment/send me asks trying to start a debate! we're all just here for a little sexy time with shua it's not that deep
note #2 — for those who aren't familiar, the title is the name of a hymn and i thought it was funny bc joshua big sexy arms hehehe
as far back as you could remember, joshua was your closest friend.
his father was the pastor of the church your family went to, and as luck would have it you were both in the same grade, so it wasn’t long before you became inseparable. you saw him at minimum three times a week: sunday morning, sunday evening, wednesday evening.
you spent most of your childhood together. sitting next to each other at every service, sharing your bibles with each other whenever one of you left them at home, sneaking donuts away from the box at the table outside the sermon hall that was supposed to only be for the adults.
you did everything together, and told each other everything. that is, until you reached middle school. boys and girls weren’t allowed to sit in the same services anymore, and you had to stay in separate buildings for every church camp and conference.
the worst part was you didn’t even understand why. what did they think you were gonna do with him? kiss him? no amount of money in the world could get you to do that! joshua was your best friend. who else were you supposed to climb trees and build forts and sneak donuts with? kissing was stupid.
when you asked your mom about it, she told you the same thing everyone else did: about how men of god had a different path and needed to hear different messages in order to grow up to lead their own churches one day. you thought it was stupid. what if a woman wanted to lead a church, why are men the ones that have to do it? but she would just shake her head and tell you it's just the way things work in the church, you'll understand when you're older.
you were allowed near him less and less until the only time you were able to see him was at the after-service brunch with his family, and even then that began to happen less and less as the years went on.
and of course it was church rules, so there was no arguing with them because that would mean arguing with god, and who were you to question his authority? there would be no special exception for you, no matter how much you protested to your mom that you would never, ever think about joshua like that. in a fit of anger one day you blew up at her, shouting that she had had friends of the opposite gender when she was in high school, so why couldn’t you? it wasn’t fair. but she had just sighed and stared out the window, clearly ending the conversation. many years passed before she finally told you about her life before she came to church, recalling all the times she had been hurt by men she had loved and trusted. you understood then why she had wanted to keep you sheltered and safe, but you still didn’t agree. but then again, if you had been allowed to do what you wanted then maybe things would never have ended up the way they did. perhaps you have her to thank.
back then, all you could do was hold on to the little time you had with him until eventually you stopped seeing him altogether.
more summers passed and you started spending all of your time memorizing bible verses with your fellow “women of christ”, missing the way you used to spend your time with your best friend.
but then you went off to bible college like had always been planned for you, and everything changed. instead of continuing to follow the strict schedule that was laid out for you, you finally got a little taste of freedom, and you realized what you’d been missing all this time. everything that you’d been taught was sinful, evil, wicked, was what brought you more pleasure than you’d ever known was possible.
you still had to pretend to be a good girl for the people around you, who, for reasons you couldn’t comprehend, were still dedicated to their life of purity. or at least they acted like it. maybe everyone was secretly just like you, hiding their sins behind a friendly smile and a firm handshake every sunday morning.
you weren’t hurting anyone with the things you did in private, and the feeling of rebellion was a kind of satisfaction you didn’t know you were allowed to feel. you were an adult, making your own choices now and facing whatever consequences that came with them.
there was only one consequence. for some reason, all the impure thoughts you had always centered around joshua. no matter what dirty books you read or videos you watched, the man you always pictured giving it to you was joshua.
you hated that after all these years, everything still came back to him. you fought it, tried imagining actors or celebrities in his place instead; characters from your books and movies and shows, anyone but him. you wanted to save whatever memories you had left of him, think of him in a good light like you used to when you were younger, but the way he plagued your mind was worse than the ones in the book of exodus.
but now, in your final year of college, you thought you had finally gotten yourself under control.
that is, until you were leaving one of your bible lectures and all the control you’d convinced yourself that you had crumbled away in mere seconds when you saw a startlingly familiar face standing by the door. a face you hadn’t seen in far too long.
“joshua?”
“hey,” he says with a smile, like no time has passed at all. like it’s been hours since you’ve seen each other, not years.
there are so many things you want to say, so many things you want to ask him, but you’re frozen in place. why is he here? where has he been? how did he find you again?
“it’s been a while,” he says with an awkward laugh when you don’t say anything.
you nod, still in a daze. “yeah. quite a while.”
he smiles. “well, anyway, i’ve got a meeting to go to in a bit, but… i just wanted to see you.”
“oh,” you say. what else is there to say? what can you say to make up for the years lost that you’ll never get back?
he looks at his watch, the conversation clearly coming to an end.
“can i give you my phone number?” he says. a deep shade of pink creeps into his cheeks but he either doesn’t notice or purposely doesn’t acknowledge it. “maybe we can talk sometime, catch up.”
“i– yeah,” you manage. god, it’s so good seeing him again. “yeah, that would be really nice.”
you’ve given up on homework for the night, spending your entire afternoon in a daze since you ran into joshua.
so many years, yet you still can’t get his smile out of your head.
you close your eyes, hand dipping below the waistband of your pajama pants automatically. it’s frightening how easily you’re able to bring up a picture of him in your mind, so much clearer than before now that you’ve seen what he looks like all grown up.
and grown up, he has. you had been too stunned to get a good look at him while he was in front of you, but the way he’d changed was immediately apparent and the image in your brain now feels almost unreal.
his hair was a little longer and a little darker, and he was much taller, with broad shoulders that looked way too perfect in a suit jacket. but his face hadn’t changed a bit. maybe his jaw was a little bit sharper and his smile lines were a little bit deeper, but his eyes were the same ones you had always known.
your hand slips lower and lower until you’re gently running the tips of your fingers over the panel of your underwear covering your pussy, moaning quietly when you feel how wet you are already.
no wonder it’s been so hard for you to focus all day. you’ve been too busy pushing away thoughts of joshua burying his fingers in your tight, wet cunt, cooing about how good you’re being for him and how long he’s waited for you.
automatically you feel your other hand grabbing for your phone, desperate to hear his voice again. you hadn’t said more than a few sentences to him earlier, but you feel like you’ll go crazy if you don’t hear him while you’re in this state. so needy for him and only him, and he doesn’t even know it.
your fingers shake as you press the buttons, knowing you’re about to get yourself into a whole world of trouble but not being able to stop yourself.
“hey.” he answers on the second ring. his tone is deep and husky, and your breath catches in your throat for a second, not used to hearing him talk like that; the last time you heard his voice was long before puberty, and you’re still navigating how to talk to this older, sexier joshua.
your first thought is to wonder if his morning voice sounds equally as sexy, but you’re immediately pushing it out of your head when you hear what sounds like him stifling a yawn.
“sorry, did i wake you? it– it’s not important,” you start, ashamed of how needy you are that you’d call him in the middle of the damn night, unprovoked, like some kind of bible group booty call.
the regret is already starting to set in. he probably hasn’t changed as much as you've built him up in your mind, probably still the obedient gentleman he was before. he’s probably already well on his way to being the head of a church, so of course he wouldn’t be thinking about you like that—
“no. it’s fine,” he says, interrupting your thoughts. “always have time for you, sweetheart. what’s up?”
you shove down the butterflies that flutter up in your stomach at the name he calls you, a nickname he always called you when you were kids because he was taught it was always polite to talk sweet to a lady.
except it feels so much different now. talking sweet to a lady as kids was easy, innocent. but one wrong word now would completely change the meaning behind those pretty words of his, and you aren’t sure how to feel about it.
“i… just– it’s been so long, joshie,” you whisper, surprised at the sudden feeling of tears springing up behind your eyes. you didn’t mean for this to happen— you didn’t mean for any of it to happen. not back then, and certainly not now.
he lets the line go quiet, finally sighing into the phone after a long pause. “i missed you… so much.” he murmurs your name, and the way the rumble in his voice goes straight through you immediately reminds you why you called him in the first place.
your free hand toys with the hem of your underwear again, fighting to keep down the whimper that threatens to escape you. “missed you too,” you breathe out. god, you can’t believe you’re doing this. but for the first time in years, the man you’ve been picturing in your head is right here with you, fulfilling some of your fantasies that you never thought could ever come true.
somewhere deep in your stomach you feel guilty about it, getting off to the thought of him and he doesn’t even know it. would he want to know? would he be okay with it? would he hate you forever if he knew?
he clears his throat, snapping you back to attention and you realize you must’ve been silent for a while, thinking.
“um, so, what are you doing?” you ask, trying to seem casual, but it comes out as anything but. nobody calls anyone this late at night and asks what they’re doing without having a dirty reason for doing so.
all you can do is hope he’s either too innocent to pick up on it, or that he doesn’t believe you’re the type of person who would call for something like that. you wonder if he still thinks of you as that perfect little obedient church girl he grew up with.
“nothing, just–working on… stuff,” he replies awkwardly. clearly he doesn’t want to go into detail about what he’s doing, and you’re already afraid you’ve interrupted his sleep; you’re mentally kicking yourself for all the blunders you’ve made, and you haven’t even been on the phone for five minutes.
“what are you doing?” he asks back, and you freeze, trying to come up with some excuse, anything. fuck, think of something!
“h-homework,” you sputter out, attempting to hide your unconfident answer with a cough.
apparently it works, because he hums in response, the line falling quiet. you hear the rustling of papers on his end, and you press your fingers harder against your cunt, heartbeat racing in your ears.
your fingers brush against your clit a little rougher than you intend, and a little whine escapes your lips, catching you off guard. you slap a hand over your mouth, hoping it had been too quiet for him to hear and he hadn’t been paying attention.
“are you…?” he asks suddenly, and your cheeks flush, caught red-handed in your sinful act.
you clear your throat, praying (both metaphorically and literally) that he doesn’t notice anything off about you. “am i what?”
his silence on the other end of the phone speaks volumes.
“joshua, oh my god, no, i–”
“what did you just say?”
you freeze. “what… did i say?”
when he speaks again, his tone is even. “don’t you know it’s a sin to take the lord’s name in vain, sweetheart?”
that nickname again, and now you know he’s doing it on purpose. innocent, pretty words, completely changed in a split second.
you let out a short laugh, scrambling to find a cover. “must’ve forgot then.”
he hums. “i remember you spent a whole month trying to memorize the ten commandments. we must’ve been what, eight or nine? you wouldn’t have forgotten. i may not have seen you since we were kids, but i’ve still known you most of my life.”
“it was an accident, you know how it is. just slips out. of course i remember them all.”
he tsks, and it feels like your heart stops. “did you forget that lying is a sin, too? you’re two for two now, wanna try for a third?”
damn him! damn his good memory and damn his stupid witty comebacks and damn the way he so quickly manages to unravel you.
you scowl and don’t respond to his question, your silence enough of an answer for joshua to know he’s right.
“why did you call me tonight?” he asks calmly.
you answer truthfully this time. “just wanted to hear your voice again. i really did miss you.”
the phone goes quiet again, and for a second you’re afraid he’s hung up, but then you hear him exhale. “it’s late. what are you doing?”
“i’m in bed, josh. don’t worry, father, i’m not staying up past my bedtime.”
he chooses to ignore your remark. “in bed doing what?”
you give him a half-suppressed laugh. “in bed laying down. what else would i be doing?”
“well, with the way you were trying to hide your moans earlier, i would’ve figured you were doing something more exciting. but if you’re just laying down, then i don't want to keep you long, might as well hang up…”
“no!” you squeak out, cutting him off. you swallow, trying to collect yourself as you repeat the word. “no. fine, whatever, you caught me. but– please, stay.” you can hear the plea in your voice and you know you should be embarrassed at how pathetic you sound, but you aren't. the only thing you can think about is joshua, joshua, joshua, and how good it feels to talk to him again.
“i’m here,” he says softly, and you let your eyes close with a sigh, relieved he’s not going to chastise you. but as much as you’ve both changed as you grew up, deep down you knew he wouldn’t. you figure you could do just about anything and he wouldn’t try to tell you what to do. he’d always been like that, and it’s what you’d loved about him; he never tried to control you or shame you for not acting like the perfect little angel everybody wanted you to be.
you couldn’t say the same about others in the church. maybe that’s why you’d started to drift away from them and why joshua’s friendship coming to an end had left you so devastated. he had been the one and only person you could always count on, and they had not.
“are you still there?” he asks gently, and you realize you’ve been quiet for too long thinking.
“yeah,” you say finally.
“are you still touching yourself?”
you pause, stifling a gasp, taken aback by his forwardness. hearing him say it out loud made everything seem so real, the realization setting in about what you’re actually doing. “n– no.”
and it’s true. your hand has long since dropped away from your pajama pants, too nervous about being discovered to continue.
“well, why not?” he says. “don’t stop on my account.”
your mouth falls open. “i–”
“clearly you wanted something from me when you called. what is it, sweetheart? i can’t help you if i don’t know what it is you want.”
your brain practically short circuits at that, and it takes a very long minute for you to collect your thoughts into a coherent sentence. you want a lot of things, but you don’t know what’s okay to say or not or if he even wants to keep going. which is a silly thought, because he wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t want to know. it dawns on you that maybe… maybe he’s curious, maybe he’s thinking about you, too.
“what kind of help?” you ask, still testing the waters. you think you have an idea of what he means, but you ask anyway. you’ve never done anything like this with anyone else, only by yourself; not because you didn’t want to, but because you didn’t want it to be with someone who wasn’t joshua.
“you said you wanted to hear my voice,” he says, and you swear his tone has dropped an octave. “then let me talk to you.”
you whine a little, still holding back but not putting in as much effort to hide it. “m’kay.”
“would it make you feel better if i told you i’m hard right now?”
you suck in a breath. “yeah?”
“yeah,” he says. “just thinking about you.”
you feel a rush of emotion at his admittance. pride? satisfaction? whatever it is, it makes your cunt throb, knowing that just the thought of you can get him going.
finally you dare to slide your hand down your pants again, unsurprised when you find your underwear sticking to you with how wet you are. you’re soaking, and you haven’t even done anything yet.
“hold on,” you manage, putting the call on speaker as you set your phone on the table beside your bed, scrambling to shove your pants and ruined panties off and onto the floor.
once free, you pick up your phone and turn off the speaker, holding it to your ear with shaky hands.
“all ready now?” he asks softly, and it reminds you of what he used to say before you’d play pretend games together. always making sure you were ready. he was hot back then, too, and you mentally curse yourself for never realizing it sooner.
you hum. “mhm. comfortable.”
“good,” he says, and you can almost hear him smiling. “go ahead and do whatever you’d like. but i want you to tell me what you’re thinking about right now.”
you squirm a little on the bed as you start to circle your clit with your fingers. “thinking about you, joshua,” you sigh, finally beginning to feel relief.
“yeah?”
“yeah. you look even better than i thought you would,” you groan, picking up your pace a little as you slip your index finger inside your walls.
he chuckles. “oh, really?”
“mhm. god, i never thought i’d be doing this. especially not with you.”
“and why is that, baby?”
the name makes you shiver. you’d imagined him calling you it many times, but hearing him actually say it is completely different.
“because—” you whimper, losing your train of thought when your brain suddenly pictures his fingers inside you instead of your own. “i’m so close already, please—”
his tone is gentle but firm. “i want you to stop now.”
“but– ah, feels so good, shua,” you say, moans spilling out of you, finally letting him hear everything you’ve been holding back.
you hear him curse in that low voice through the phone, and your hand stills for a split second in shock, your eyes widening. as far as you knew, he never swore. but then again, there were a lot of things he never did that you're discovering about him now. looks like you weren’t the only one who changed over the years.
“that’s not my name.”
you sit up a little in confusion, pushing your phone closer to your ear to make sure you’re hearing him right. “huh?”
“my name is joshua. if you’re gonna moan like a sinner about how good it feels when i tell you how to touch yourself, you better use my name properly.” he sounds almost angry, but it only spurs you on even further.
you let his words sink for a second before responding. “yes, sir.”
“fuck,” he moans, he actually moans, and if you weren’t already so far gone you would’ve stopped to listen closer, to ingrain the noise in your brain so you never again forget how he sounds. “what did i just tell you?”
“what, you don’t like being called ‘sir’? thought you wanted to be a pastor, joshua,” you say with a smirk, and you know he hears the mischief in your voice, daring him to give you what you want.
it’s probably a good thing he’s not physically in the room with you, because there's no way you would have been able to muster up the courage to say something like that to his face. you wouldn’t have dared to even look him in the eyes, but being on the phone gives you a head rush. because with only his voice and not seeing his face, you can convince yourself that he still isn’t real, that this whole phone call and even your meeting earlier had just been an elaborate figment of your horny imagination, your denial being the only thing saving your last shred of dignity.
“didn’t realize you’d grow up to be even more of a brat than you were before,” he scoffs, and your cunt pulses.
“what are you doing right now?” you say, a little desperately. the change of subject isn’t very subtle but you don’t care. you won’t lie, you’ve been curious since the start of what he’s doing but he’s been so focused on you he hasn’t said anything about himself. you want to know everything about him— how he’s moving his hands, where he puts pressure, what he thinks about to get himself closer and closer.
he grunts unceremoniously. “i’m fucking my hand and pretending it’s you.”
“me too,” you whimper, closing your eyes as you focus on the movement of your fingers.
after a while he stops responding, and you can hear his heavy breaths over the line matching with your own gasps for air as you curl your fingers inside of you. you figure he must be getting close, but you ask him anyway, because you want to hear him say it.
“yeah– fuck, so close,” he chokes out, and the way his voice gets higher as he lets out a whimper is what finally makes you come undone.
with a moan of his name—his full name—you cum, clenching around your fingers as you struggle to keep your hand moving. your wrist is starting to cramp up a little from the position you’ve been in, but the pleasure coursing through you is more than worth it. it’s almost dizzying, more powerful than any orgasm you’ve had before and when you finally remove your fingers from your aching cunt your head is spinning and your heart is pounding.
you can hear a muffled string of curses through the phone and you know he’s right behind you. thoughts of him sitting on his bed run rampant in your head, imagining his stomach covered in milky cum and his pretty, pretty lips parted as he catches his breath.
the silence is heavy as you feel yourself come back down from your high. you struggle to find something to say after… whatever that just was, so you say the only thing that’s on your mind.
“i really did miss you, joshua,” you say quietly. unlike before, there’s not a hint of teasing in the way you say his name now.
and he sighs contentedly, finally hearing his name on your lips like he always wanted to. “i know. i missed you too.”
you both say your goodbyes and good nights quickly, still basking in enough of the remnants of your orgasms to not be too awkward about it. but after you’re settled in bed (for real, this time) and about to fall asleep, you can’t help but wonder if things between you and joshua will ever be anything but awkward.
a memory surfaces: you and joshua running around at the park behind the church after a sunday evening service, no older than kindergarteners, laughing and playing until you collapse on the grass. your mom called for you both to get ready to go home, and no you’re not allowed to have a sleepover because it’s a school night but maybe this weekend if his mom is okay with it. before you ran off, he thrust his pinky out towards you and you shook on it, making a pact to always be best friends, even when you can’t have sleepovers. it didn’t ever occur to either of you that there might come a day where you wouldn’t be best friends.
you don’t remember what prompted him to make the pinky promise, but you know he’s never broken it. and you can only hope that he hasn’t forgotten it.
it’s a few days later at one of your bible study groups when you see him next, and yet again you’re caught off-guard like a deer in headlights.
you’re sitting with a group of other ladies, annotating material for a test you couldn’t care less about when you hear your name called out– a familiar deep voice you can only pray doesn’t belong to who you think it belongs to.
oh, but it does belong to him, alright. it feels like you’ve gotten the wind knocked out of you when you turn around and see joshua standing behind you, a warm smile on his face that makes you doubt anything ever happened. maybe it really was all just a delirious dream, too many years of yearning built up into one intense wet dream.
he puts a hand on your shoulder lightly, turning you away from the rest of the ladies. “hey, can we talk somewhere?”
and oh shit it was definitely not a dream.
your cheeks burn as you excuse yourself from the table, packing up your bible and pens and shoving everything in your bag as quickly as you can. you can almost hear the snickering already, the gossips whispering to each other that you must have done something unspeakable if the top-student, pastor’s son, joshua hong has to speak with you privately. ah, if only they knew.
you only wish you could go back there and wipe the smirks off of all their faces and tell them about what the perfect little gentlemen they all pretend they don’t have crushes on was doing on the phone with you last night. you wouldn’t do that, not in a million years, but just the thought of it is satisfaction enough.
joshua leads you down the hall to a room that looks like an empty office. he opens the door for you, then closes it softly behind you.
“whose is this?” you ask, glancing around the room.
“it’s… mine,” he says almost shyly, gesturing idly to a little engraved nameplate on the desk. joshua hong, pastor’s assistant. because of fucking course he would be.
“oh.”
he clears his throat, and in that moment you realize he’s just as nervous as you are. “listen…” he starts, taking a pause. “about the other night–”
“are you gonna kick me out?” you interrupt.
his brows knit together in confusion. “what?”
“are you gonna expel me?”
“no?” he says, still looking at you, baffled. “why would i do that? i don’t even think i have the power to, even if i wanted. which, for the record, i don’t.”
you don’t reply, focusing your gaze on the carpet instead.
he frowns. “is that really how you think of me? that i just go around tattling to my dad? from that… conversation, i thought it was clear i’m not like that anymore.”
the tips of your ears are burning at the memory of all the things you said to each other over the phone. but it never occurred to you that maybe he was just as sinful as you had been.
you stay quiet, the silence stretching on as shame and embarrassment and a hundred other emotions swirl in your mind and you struggle to figure out what to say.
luckily for you he fills the silence himself. he exhales, looking down at a stack of papers on the desk. “god, you… you don’t know how much i missed you. i thought about you all the time.”
“so did i,” you manage to whisper. “in more ways than you know.”
he gives you a teasing smile. “oh, i have a feeling i do know.”
you hold back a cough and look away, focusing your attention on a painting of flowers on the wall. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“if that’s how you wanna play this, fine.”
your curiosity piques, and you look back at him. he motions to the seat in front of the desk, wordlessly asking you to sit. hesitantly you do, and he starts to sit down at the swivel chair behind the desk, but you clear your throat and he glances up.
“can– can you not sit over there?” you ask softly. “feels like i’m being scolded.”
his expression softens a little, and he rolls the chair back into place, opting to sit next to you instead. “of course.”
except maybe you shouldn’t have asked him to do that, because now he’s sitting toe to toe with you and the closeness is overwhelming. at least on the other side of the desk there was enough distance for you to shrink and hide behind, but here, sitting like this, he can see all of you. and you don’t particularly want to be seen right now.
the tension is palpable as he takes his seat, still watching you. you take the moment to study his features: the slope of his nose and the gentle curve of his lips, the way the light catches on his long eyelashes and the way his broad shoulders look in that perfectly tailored sunday morning service suit.
“i always liked you,” he starts, and your gaze shoots up to his eyes. you open your mouth to ask something, but he shakes his head and you immediately fall silent, letting him finish. “i was almost glad when they made us go to different sunday school classes, because i wouldn’t have to sit there and pretend i didn’t have the craziest crush on you.”
“joshua, i–” you trail off, not even knowing what to say.
he pauses, as if debating his next words. “and i know it’s wrong, but i couldn’t get you out of my head when i… y’know.” his cheeks are flushed but he doesn’t look away from you, eyes searching your own for any hesitance or any sign that you don’t want this.
it’s then that you realize that the boldness you had felt hiding behind your phone, he had felt it too. saying words alone in your room at night was easy. sitting in public, in the daylight, and saying those same words to his face was so much scarier. and knowing that you’re both feeling awkward and shy and a little uncertain of how to talk about it gives you the confidence to keep going.
“when you would what?” you pry. you already know the answer but you want to hear it come out of his mouth anyway. you’ve already heard him say it, but something about sitting in his office, in a church, speaking such filth ignites a spark in you that’s completely different from the spark you felt a few nights ago.
he clears his throat and looks you in the eye, maybe gaining a little bit of that confidence, too. “when i would jerk off i would always wish it was your sweet little mouth instead of my own hand.”
you inhale sharply, and that’s when he finally breaks eye contact, his guilt-ridden gaze shifting to the wall behind you as his cheeks burn redder. “i didn’t feel good about it. felt like i was doing it without your permission, and i didn’t want that. i–”
“yes,” you say hurriedly.
he stops short at your interruption, instantly looking back at you. “yes…?”
“yes, you have my permission. whatever you want, joshua, always.”
his eyes narrow, almost imperceptibly, but you recognize it. even after all these years, after so much has changed, you still know his tells. you wonder if he still knows yours.
he murmurs your name in response, almost like a warning. “don’t say stuff like that,” he says, letting out a shaky breath.
“why not?” you ask, feigning innocence. but you know exactly what you’re doing, and you know exactly how you affect him: the same way he affects you.
he looks up at you. “you really are just as much of a brat as you were back then, aren’t you?” he says with just a hint of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.
“why don’t you find out?”
he groans, leaning back in his chair. “do you know how long i’ve wanted to kiss you?” he says finally.
“probably just as long as i’ve wanted to kiss you,” you counter, and he raises an eyebrow.
you both stand up at the same moment, closing the distance in less than a second.
you stare at his chest in front of you to avoid his eyes, until he brings up a hand and gently tilts your chin, forcing you to look at him.
“are– you gonna get in trouble?” you breathe, heartbeat pounding in your ears as you stare at his perfect, perfect lips.
he hums, and it sends a shiver down your spine at the close proximity. “are you still giving me permission?” he asks, and you quickly shake your head yes.
“always.”
he smooths his thumb across your cheek. “then i won’t be in any trouble at all."
and then his hand moves to hold the back of your neck and he's tilting his head and bringing his lips towards yours and then finally, after years of dreaming about it and even more years of denying it, you're finally kissing joshua and there's so many things happening at once that you can't seem to focus on anything because your mind is so full of everything and nothing and joshua and it all just feels so right.
you’re melting in his arms and falling into his touch and enjoying every fucking second of it. your heart speeds up when his hands slide behind your back, wrapping around your body to pull you closer to him, pressed chest to chest.
he pulls away to kiss you again, and again, and again, and you decide you’d be content to be like this forever, standing in his office in the church building making out like you’re the only two people on earth.
but finally his lips leave yours, and he takes a tiny step backwards, heaving out a shaky breath as he looks you in the eyes. “what are we gonna do now?”
your heart plummets, doubts racing through your mind. did he not like it? does he not like you? did you really just ruin everything? why did he stop? why did he ask that—
but all your questions are answered in an instant when he coughs and you look down, finally noticing the prominent bulge in his dress pants. oh. that.
when you look back up at him his cheeks are flushed bright red, and he immediately begins to apologize.
“shua,” you call out to him, repeating his name the way you know he likes. “joshua. don’t worry about it. it’s fine.”
in fact, you find it incredibly flattering, that just a few kisses and gentle touches could get him this worked up. maybe it really has been you all along.
with a surge of confidence, you step back towards him, wrapping your arms around him and leaning to kiss him. “are you busy today?” you murmur, your cheek brushing against his.
he shudders, hands automatically finding your waist and pushing your hips against his own. “no. are you?”
you sigh, kissing the corner of his mouth. “not anymore.”
“fuck,” he curses, his grip on your body tightening “you really want to…?” he asks, almost shyly, as if he’s in denial this is really happening.
“absolutely,” you say, and you’ve never meant anything more in your life.
in a second he’s got you shoved against his desk, sending papers flying to the floor as he lifts you by your ass to sit you down on top of it. your kisses turn rougher and needier, your hands grabbing at anything you can reach to ground yourself: his hair, his shoulders, his back.
finally he breaks free, dropping to his knees in front of the desk. “please, let me eat you out.”
you moan out loud, probably too loudly for the thin walls of the office. but the visual of him on his knees to do anything other than pray drives you mad, and you need more of him, desperately. “joshua, please.”
he pushes your skirt up your thighs, moving it out of his way so he can stare eye to eye with your pussy. you whimper and instinctively try to hide your face in embarrassment, but something tells you he wouldn’t like that, so you resist, keeping your hands firmly planted on the edge of the desk.
“fuck, you’re soaking,” he says, his voice broken. “you’re so perfect.”
his hands reach up to tug at the hem of your underwear, and he looks up at you, silently asking for permission to continue. you nod eagerly, lifting your hips off the desk so he can slide them off of you, revealing your glistening entrance.
he whines at the sight, pretty lips parted in shock? awe? as if he can’t wait to taste you. he pushes his face into your pussy, gently at first, but when you moan and bring your hand up to his hair he dives deeper.
the moment he attaches his mouth to your clit, you jump, gasping as you try to shut your legs around his head but his large hands keep you held open. his tongue explores every inch of you, moving back and forth, up and down, mapping out your cunt with his mouth.
“fuck, never dreamed you’d taste so good,” he sighs against your pussy, leaning away to take a breath after what feels like forever.
your legs are shaking and your cunt is throbbing as you also try to catch your breath. you’re not used to being touched like this and you’re definitely not used to being touched by joshua. so many thoughts running through your head and not a single one of them coherent enough to put into words. all you can do is weakly whine out joshua’s name and tug on his hair, pleading for him to keep going. you need release, and you don’t want it from anyone but him.
he stands up, his pants wrinkled from kneeling on the floor but still tented with a bulge so uncomfortably large you feel dizzy just thinking about it. you don’t even know if he’s going to fuck you or even if he wants to, but god you want to see his cock so bad. too many restless nights spent thinking about it, and now you might finally have the chance to see it in front of your face.
your mouth waters at the thought, and you start to slide off the desk, but joshua stops you. “what are you…?”
you look up at him, eyes blown wide with lust and you don’t even attempt to hide your eagerness. “please let me suck your dick. joshua, please.”
he whines, running a hand through his hair. “god, i want that so bad, but… i don’t think i can last if you do, and i was really hoping to fuck you.”
you close your eyes and roll your head back, moaning at his vulgar confession. but he sighs, and he sounds almost defeated, and you look back at him quickly, afraid he’s suddenly changed his mind.
“i’m not—prepared,” he admits, and you tilt your head in confusion before it sinks in what he means.
“ah. don’t suppose you would have any condoms lying around, would you, mr. pastor’s assistant?” you ask playfully, and he shoots you a glare.
“brat,” he mutters under his breath, but you hear it, and your walls clench in response. “no, i don’t have any. not interested in anybody else, so… no reason to.” he looks like he has more to say, more serious things to say, but he keeps his mouth shut, his eyes searching your face nervously.
your stomach flips at his words, feeling your cheeks heating up. you hadn’t thought you would ever get this far, and especially not with him. because of the kind of school you were at, it wasn’t like the people here were doing the kind of things you’ve been doing—at least not publicly. even if you’d wanted to hook up with somebody (which you didn’t), everyone in your vicinity would shame you for even bringing it up. you may have experience with yourself, but anything with anyone else is completely new territory for you.
you fall silent, not sure how to continue the conversation as all your newfound confidence begins to crumble. what were you thinking? caught up in the heat of the moment, saying things you weren’t sure you meant. you were in love with him: that much you were sure of. but everything that comes after that is too new, too scary, at least for right now. you can barely even comprehend that he just went down on you, but you know you enjoyed it and honestly, you’d give anything for him to do it again. but there’s too much going on inside your head for you to even begin to process that right now.
he calls your name and you blink, looking back at him anxiously. “we… don’t have to. right now, or even at all,” he says gently. the tips of his ears are burning red but his voice is calm and steady.
“joshua, i want to,” you start, clasping your hands tightly together in your lap to give you something to focus on other than the way he’s watching you so intently. “but i– don’t know how.”
“neither do i, baby,” he says. the nickname makes you shiver; even though it’s not the first time he’s called you that, especially after the other night, you’re still not used to it. but somehow it’s comforting, and it makes you relax knowing that he’s still the same person you grew up with, the same person that knows almost everything about you. you’ve both changed so much, but deep down you haven’t changed at all.
he pauses when you don’t say anything back. “we’ll wait, then,” he says and wraps his arms around you, lightly at first but then squeezing when you don’t try to pull away. “we have all the time in the world. no need to rush.”
“we… do?” your voice is laced with uncertainty.
he smiles. “of course. i let you go once already, i’m not letting it happen again. never again.”
you turn your head away from him and hide your face, flustered by how sincere he sounds. he hums, and you can hear the pout in his tone so you fight your embarrassment and turn back towards him to ask the question that’s been weighing on your mind since you first saw him days ago. “this is gonna sound so stupid, but… shua, what are we?”
first you were childhood friends, you were best friends, and then you were nothing. right place, wrong time? and then you were… doing something on the phone together, whatever you could call that. and now you were just sitting on top of his desk, sweating from having almost had sex. how do you even begin to put a label on this?
“well, i’d like to be yours,” he says shyly, and just like that all your questions are answered with six small words. you realize it doesn’t matter what label you have; as long as you have him, that’s all that matters.
“yes,” you breathe, lifting your eyes to finally meet his and you see all the love in his eyes threatening to spill over.
he reaches up to brush a piece of your hair out of your face. “i’m just glad i finally have you back,” he says with a soft smile as he watches you. “we’ll go slow, we’ll wait— whatever you want. whatever it takes not to lose you again.”
you bury your face in his chest with a whine. you’re hiding again, but even the uncomfortable scratchiness of his dress shirt can’t pull you away from him.
“besides, i don’t want our first time together to be in my stupid little office,” he chuckles and holds you tighter against him, pressing a kiss to the top of your head that makes your heart flutter. “you deserve better than that.”
you stay there for a long moment, hugging him like it's the last time you'll ever see him. but this time you know it won't be the last. it's the first, the first of hopefully many, many more.
when you feel like you've been standing there too long, you clear your throat and lean your head back to look at him. "so, um… now what?"
he pauses, those pretty lips turned up in a smile. "do you have plans for lunch?"
"no, i just had that study group you pulled me from. i'm free for the rest of the day."
his smile widens. "perfect. you still like grilled cheese, or did you grow out of that, too?"
you laugh, putting your chin on his shoulder as you hug him. "i haven't changed that much, shua."
after taking a while to collect yourselves (waiting for his erection to go back down so you can leave together without looking suspicious), you walk out of joshua’s office the happiest you've felt in years.
he'd wanted to hold your hand, too, but you were still anxious about anyone seeing you together that you'd refused him until you made it to his car. you were probably just being paranoid and no one would care about two responsible adults talking to each other, but all the time you'd spent hiding from your peers had put you on edge.
so, it wasn't until you were safely out of the church parking lot and in the driveway of his apartment complex that you let him touch you, kissing you over the cupholders with his hands gently holding your neck.
it took everything in you not to climb over the center console and sit on his lap in the driver's seat and kiss him as hard and as deeply as you really wanted, but you knew once you started you wouldn't be able to stop. and besides, he still didn't have any condoms. it didn't bother you either way, since you'd been taking birth control since high school to help with your periods, but if it was what he wanted you'd be more than fine with it.
you don't know what you'd been expecting the inside his apartment to look like; probably some tacky cross-stitch bible verses or a wooden cross hanging on the wall, but his apartment just looked like… a normal apartment. a very clean apartment, actually, though you weren't surprised. he'd always been a neat, organized kid, and it looked like that was one thing he hadn't grow out of.
you watch as he puts his keys on a hook by the door, following him into the kitchen and sitting at one of the chairs.
he grins at you as he opens his refrigerator, pulling out the ingredients for your lunch before taking out a pan.
"shua…" you interrupt him, standing up and walking towards him slowly. "you're not— really thinking about grilled cheese sandwiches right now, are you?"
he hums, eyes following your every movement as the pan sits cold and abandoned on the stove. "there are… other things on my mind, yeah."
"so why are you still trying to make grilled cheese sandwiches?"
by now you're close enough to stand toe to toe with him, and you're sure he can feel the heat radiating off your body when he wraps his hands around your waist, backing you against the kitchen counter. "because i wanna make you lunch. maybe i just wanna spoil my girl a little bit."
a shiver runs down your spine at the new name he calls you. never in a million years did you think this is where you'd end up.
"i think you have all the time in the world to spoil me later, joshua," you mumble, leaning in closer and closer until your lips touch.
in a flash he's hoisting you up and sitting you on the counter. his mouth never leaves yours as you slide your legs around his hips to drag him closer, kisses growing deeper and more desperate now that you can finally be alone together.
his hands slide down your body, tugging at the hem of your shirt and only breaking apart for a second to slide it over your head before his lips are crashing against yours again.
your hands find his hips, experimentally tugging on his belt to see his reaction. immediately he pulls away from you,
cheeks flushed and breathing heavily. "sweetheart, i still don't have any condoms. if you really want to now, then we gotta run to the store first."
“i’m on the pill,” you burst out, hoping he gets the message. maybe he has some other reason for wanting to, but you're too impatient to wait for who knows how long it'll take to go to the store, and you don't think you'll be able to keep your hands off him for that long. you don't think you'll be able to keep your hands off of him for even a few seconds.
his face goes blank as he processes your words, struggling to understand if you’re saying what he thinks you’re saying. “you’d let me…?”
you grab onto his arms, a desperate attempt to pull him closer, to feel more of him. “raw, yes, joshua. just—please, i need you,” you beg him, cunt throbbing with neglect as you wait for him to answer.
he buries his face in your shoulder with a groan, gripping his hands underneath your thighs and sliding you off the counter.
with a shriek you wrap your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck, holding on tightly as he starts to walk out of the kitchen carrying you. "joshua! what the hell are you doing?"
his face is still pressed against your shoulder, and you can feel his lips tickling your bare skin as he speaks. "i'll fuck you on my kitchen counter any day of the week, baby, but i want to have you for the first time in my bed, please?"
his voice is low and whiny, just as desperate for you as you are for him and it makes you moan with excitement.
he finds his way into his room, stumbling a little when he accidentally runs you into the wall instead of through the doorway, but you just giggle and kiss him harder until he finally drops you on his bed, immediately unbuttoning his shirt.
you run your hands along his chest as he leans over you, feeling the toned muscle that feels almost wrong to be seeing. his physical changes are much more obvious to you now that he's like this, and you know the image will fuel your fantasies for weeks.
your hands move to his belt again and this time he allows it, letting you unbuckle it and toss it away before slowly lowering the zipper. he's already hard again, and your heart races when you put a little bit of pressure on the seam and he lets out a guttural groan in response.
his arms flex as he reaches down to slide your skirt off, and you help him and kick the fabric away, leaving both of you in nothing but your underwear.
joshua pauses, letting his gaze wander your body as you look away shyly. he hums and you look back at him in confusion. "don't hide from me, sweetheart, please," he says, but it comes out more like a whine; not like he's asking, but like he's begging. it's honestly the hottest thing you've ever heard, and even with your nerves he makes it hard to resist.
"dreamt about this for fucking years. years," he moans as he leans over to kiss your chest, reaching behind your body to undo your bra and let it fall away. you whimper when he brings his hands up to cup your breasts, wrapping his mouth around one of your nipples as he starts to slowly grind against your clothed pussy. you can already feel yourself soaking through your panties, and you're sure he can feel it, too.
his hands are like nothing you've ever felt, and you roll your head back against his pillows, arching into him as he massages your breasts with his large hands. you'd noticed them before, but you hadn't realized just how big they were until they were on top of you and made your body seem almost tiny beneath his massive palms.
"shua…" you breathe, tentative hands reaching up to touch his shoulders.
he looks up at you, mouth covered in spit. "yes, angel?"
you whimper at the nickname. no angel you'd ever learned about in sunday school had acted like you are right now, begging a man to fuck you. and on top of that it was before marriage, too; surely if there was a god they would be extremely disappointed in you. but right now you didn't care if the entire universe was disappointed in you, as long as joshua hong wasn't.
it takes you a few more seconds to build up your courage, but finally you open your mouth and tell him, "joshua, please— fuck me."
he slides forward to kiss you again, before sitting back and repositioning himself between your legs. "anything you want, sweetheart."
he lines his cock up at your entrance, and just before you think he's about to push into you, he looks up at you instead.
"i love you, so much," he says, and you have to fight the urge to hide your face as you grin and giggle like a fucking schoolgirl; like the past version of you would have, if she'd had any sense and figured everything out sooner.
and, like always, he asks, "ready?", and you nod, and it's better than you could've ever imagined.
the whines that leave his mouth drive you close to the edge already as he begins to thrust into you, slowly, gently, just a little bit at a time but it still leaves you gasping from his size.
he keeps moving at a snail's pace until you reach up, fumbling to grab at his bicep as tears nearly spill out of your eyes and beg him, "joshua, more, please."
he leans over you, pressing his body flat against yours as he starts to rock his hips faster, and you cry out from so much pleasure and so much emotion hitting all at once.
"wanted you so fucking bad, for so long, and now you're finally here," he whispers, his thrusts never faltering despite how close in proximity he is to your face.
you whine as your hands claw at his back, digging in as you struggle to hold on and he curses again, pushing into you harder.
"you said i was better than you imagined," he groans, one hand coming up to caress your cheek. "but you're even better than i imagined. you're a fucking angel, so fucking beautiful."
you gasp his name, falling into your orgasm from his words alone as you clench impossibly tight around him. you always thought of him as the nice kid, the rule follower, but here he is, fucking you through the hardest orgasm of your life and saying such filthy things in between praises and compliments.
"jo-oshua, please!" is all you can manage, still struggling to recover before he crests into his own high with a whimper. his eyes scrunch up as he releases inside you, eyelashes fluttering and sweat dripping down his temples, and you think it's the most beautiful sight you've ever seen.
a constant stream of curses fall from his lips and you swallow them with yours, kissing him as if you're afraid he might disappear into thin air if you don't hold onto him tight enough.
his breaths are shallow when his mouth falls away from you, resting his forehead on your shoulder with a long exhale.
"god…" he starts, then stops and laughs, and you have to tug on his hair to make him face you again.
"what are you laughing at?" you say, cheeks growing hot when he looks at you with droopy, hooded eyes and a lopsided smile.
"nothing," he laughs. "just god. what a funny word."
"and why is that, baby?" you say as you try to hold back a smile, testing out the nickname.
he grins. "because it gave me you. or maybe it didn't. who knows?"
you finally laugh along with him, remembering what he'd said to you on the phone that feels like years ago. "don’t you know it’s a sin to take the lord’s name in vain, sweetheart?”
the church is humming with activity as you make your way to the front pew, carrying two donuts in your hand. people greet you as they mingle about the hall, talking and laughing. some wave excitedly when they see you, others simply smile and offer their hand for you to shake with a friendly “good morning and god bless!”
being a pastor’s wife isn’t something you ever imagined yourself doing, but then again, a lot of things in your life you never imagined doing. you never imagined seeing joshua again, and you never imagined marrying him, either. you certainly didn’t imagine taking over your father-in-law’s church when he retired and decided it was time for joshua to take his place as head of the church. you always knew he would someday, whether he wanted to or not, but you’d be happy to spend the rest of your life by his side no matter where he was or what job he had.
you’d been almost nervous when you decided it was finally time to tell your parents you had been seeing each other, but to your surprise they had been overjoyed at the news. both his family and yours were “just so glad when it happened to be you!”, saying things like “we’d always known it would happen, back since you were children!”, and “so when are we going to get some beautiful little grandchildren to take to sunday school!”
it had been five long and happy years since that very first phone call, and every minute you spend with joshua has been the best of your life.
you walk up the steps to the stage where your husband is waiting, flipping through his notes for the morning’s sermon. you hand him his donut with a grin, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. he smirks at you, imperceptible to everyone else but you can tell what it truly means.
everybody in the congregation always talks you’re the perfect example of a happy, god-loving couple. such nice looking people, so well put together. but behind closed doors, they’d be horrified by the things you say and do together. wolf in sheep’s clothing, as is your husband’s favorite parable to preach.
it’s not the life you imagined, but it’s perfect to you and him.
i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging with tags or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!
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my girl
pairing: jenna ortega x fem reader
summary: jenna is a bit too protective over you after you injure your leg, it's cute.
word count: 1.3k+
based off of request! (idk if i like this)
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Jenna Ortega x F!reader where r broke her leg and jenna went very protective mode to r and would easily lose her temper whenever anyone tries getting close to r cause r is has a broken leg.. THANK YOUU
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The light of the hospital casted a warm shade over you and Jenna as she carefully had a hand on your shoulder, making sure you didn’t fall.
“Stupid nurses,” she mutters, looking at you with worry as you struggle to walk properly with crutches, your right leg limping by itself. "Hey, it's okay," she glances to your leg, rubbing it gently.
The girl looks at you, eyes soft, “Does it hurt?” You try your best to smile, nodding barely as your hands shake on the crutches, “I’ll get used to it, it’ll only be several weeks.”
Jenna’s hands, besides the one she just removed from your shoulder, are filled with bags and backpacks and some stuffed animal hanging out of it, making sure there is nothing disturbing you.
“Oh baby, I’m sorry,” she says, rubbing your thigh as she guides you closer to the car, “They should’ve secured the stunt.”
“I’m sorry,” you instantly retaliate, “You’re holding all this heavy stuff, here let me try to help you. That backpack,” you point to the navy bag hung on her back, “I can carry i- No!” She shouts, immediately sitting you down to a bench.
“It’s okay baby, just sit here and I’ll be back okay?”
Before you can respond she’s waddling to your car.
It’s not long before she’s running to you, her sunglasses covering her pretty eyes. She leans down and lets you wrap your arms weakly around her shoulders. Jenna lifts you up, bridal style and manages to carry your two crutches with her.
-
Jenna’s protectiveness immediately shone through, you noticed it within the first couple of days.
Yelling at nurses to get you a wheelchair so you don’t have to limp with your crutches and struggle to open the door, glaring at other people when they get a little too close.
It was embarrassing when you accidentally let go of the book you were reaching for, a little too afraid to ask Jenna for help since you didn’t want her to get a staff. She had yelled at the person who worked there for making it too hard for her girlfriend to reach.
“I fucking swear, if one of your dumb ass books falls on her and I see it, I’m suing you,” she snaps. You two left the store within 10 minutes, you were practically tugging on her arm as she was yelling at the poor lady. Like a child trying to drag their parents to the toy selection. She had carried you out of the bookstore as you mouthed apologies to that lady.
-
“Oh damn, that looks even more Wednesday worthy,” Emma scrunches her nose, gently touching your cast around your leg. Jenna’s rubbing your thigh, cautiously looking at the short blonde-hair. Emma’s always been sweet and gentle, Jenna’s never snapped at her.
She’s just making sure you don’t get hurt. You can tell from the way she looks at you, at others, eyes flickering everywhere.
Like if they don’t move, then some runaway piano will crash into you.
You comfort her, leaning into her touch. She sighs a little and plays with your hair.
Marker caps pop out as Emma looks at you, “Blue or yellow?”
“Both?”
“Of course,” she softly murmurs, writing silly sweet words on your cast with Jenna.
For a moment, you look at your phone, scrolling through social media and the pictures you have with your girlfriend. You hear a door open and Emma greeting Percy and some other of the cast.
“That stunt seriously got you into crutches?” Hunter asks, looking at your foot, “You’re okay though, right?”
You send him a grateful nod, “Could’ve been worse. But the stunt looks real now, right?” You joke and Jenna giggles slightly.
“How do you manage to fail that stunt? I mean, that’s honestly impressive.” Percy remarks, crossing his arms as your eyes narrow.
Jenna slowly turns to him, her mouth speaking for you, “I think it would’ve been better to have your foot broken. I would’ve smiled then.” Her voice dulls, monotone as she stares daggers at him, before turning back to you and kissing your collarbone.
Percy hums, a little annoyed, “Well, if I did the stunt, I would’ve done it perfectly. People who’d end up in a cast are just clumsy.”
You feel your eyes roll, a huff escaping your lips.
It isn’t long until you see Jenna, fuming, muttering a few inaudible curse words.
The man clasps his hands together, playing with his jacket as he grabs an apple from the apple basket, tossing it up and down.
“Hey Hunter, catch,” he shouts, aiming his apple to Hunter, who’s right in front of you.
“Percy watch it-” Jenna warns.
“Perc, I don’t think we should do it in here, maybe outsi-”
Hunter gets cut off as the apple comes jerkily towards him, with full speed. It’s not even going to his hand, it’s going where his waist is. He immediately steps to the side, and you feel the apple slam right where your leg is broken. You hiss in pain, jerking back as you cling onto Jenna. The pain rings through your whole body as Emma looks at him in shock. She looks at you, trying to gently rub it, “Oh my god, are you good?”
“Baby,” Jenna gasps, your eyes meeting hers as your lip trembles. You don’t have very good pain tolerance, embarrassment floods through you, your ears burning slightly. You hope you’re not crying because an apple hit your broken leg.
“Oh my gosh, do you want me to go back to the nurse?” She sniffs, brushing your hair back to comfort you. She understands your pain, it must’ve hurt like hell. You shake your head and try to distract yourself from the echoing pain. It hurt.
“Whoops, sorry Y/N, didn’t see you there,” he says, his genuine voice laced slightly with sarcasm. You don’t miss it. You almost feel like flipping him off.
Neither does your girlfriend. There’s fire crackling behind her eyes.
She’s standing up, holding you close before grabbing the apple, scrunching it and throwing it to Percy with full force.
You think it hit his nose, maybe broke it? Emma smirks, fistbumping Jenna as you curl into her more.
“Oh fuck Percy,” Jenna gasps, dramatically, “Sorry, I didn’t see you there. That was my bad,” she sarcastically says.
"You-" the man is about to retaliate when Jenna lifts the other apple basket next to her, "You wanna go?" She challenges, ready to throw another apple while doing some Street Fighter stunt and bouncing up and down.
"I'm going to throw this whole damn apple basket if you touch her," she warns, throwing another apple at him, he howls. "Ow! Ow! Ow! Oh fuck!"
She shrugs, lifting you up in her arms.
Percy is cursing, his nose is slightly bleeding as he screeches like a child and runs to the bathroom. No one goes after him.
“That was so badass,” says Hunter, watching Percy slam the door.
Jenna watches him with a grin on her face, looking down at you and rubbing your injured leg, “Are you hurt?” Even with all that time, your leg is hurting. You nod, slightly, as she kisses your temple.
“Let’s get you home, Em, I’m going to head out a little early.”
The blonde nods with understanding, “Okay, I’ll see you Friday. Hope your leg is okay Y/N, I’ll make sure to throw the basket of apples when Percy comes out. Maybe I can break his nose again?”
That makes you chuckle as you hold onto your girlfriend, “That sounds good.”
Jenna smiles at you, nuzzling her nose to yours, “Bye, Em!”
Emma smiles to you two, at least every person in the room is holding an apple and eyeing the door. “Bye, Jenna! Bye, Y/N! Love you!”
You three blow each other kisses as she gets to drive you to her apartment.
It’s not long before she’s carefully carrying you, ignoring the way you try to resist and telling her you can walk by yourself. The rest of the night is spent with her in the bath with you, one injured foot resting up while you two are soaked in bubbles. You two end it off with cuddling each other.
“Gosh I love you,” she sighs, “Can’t believe someone would actually go out of their way to mess with my pretty girl.”
You press your finger to her nose, “I should tape a warning sign on your forehead, “Caution, if you touch her girlfriend she will physically hunt you” maybe that would work?”
She slaps your arm, rolling her eyes, “Maybe.”
“That’s my girl.”
#tara carpenter x reader#jenna ortega x you#jenna ortega x fem!reader#jenna ortega x reader#jenna ortega imagine#tara carpenter x you#vada cavell x reader#jenna marie ortega#jenna ortega x y/n#vada cavell x y/n
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Begin Again.
Sneak peek: Reader got out of a relationship about eight months ago and was sure love was meant to burn and break and end…but this particular Wednesday made her believe that maybe, just maybe, she could begin again with someone new.
Aaron Hotchner x (Fem) Reader
Angst/Fluff
Word count: 1236
***Flashbacks are indented and in italics – this story flashes from present to past a few times. ***
REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!
Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, implied age gap (kinda?), anxiety, self-consciousness, Past abusive relationship, explicit LANGUAGE, no use of y/n, mention of Jack, mention of Hotch’s previous relationship, story is guided by begin again by Taylor Swift (lyrics aren’t all directly used), mention of a love of the Beatles. I think that’s all, let me know if I missed any!
I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.
You glanced at yourself in the mirror, second guessing your outfit choice. Were the heels too much? Would he comment on them, would he be okay with them? Maybe you should switch to flats, they would be a safer choice.
“Babe seriously. Do you have to wear heels?” He berated you.
“These are the shoes she told us to wear. I can’t switch shoes I’m a bridesmaid and were all supposed to look uniform.” You explained.
“Really? You’re going to make me look so fucking stupid. Who cares if she chose those, just tell her the didn’t fit or the clasp broke or something.”
“I’m not doing that.” You said.
“You’re so difficult. Just change your shoes, it’s not a big deal. I just don’t want to look like a fucking idiot because my girlfriend is towering over me.” He continued.
You could remember multiple arguments that went that way. Him yelling at you for dressing how you wanted, so you didn’t. He started picking out your clothes and you complied, because that was easier than having him tear you down.
You smoothed your hands over your clothes and made your way out the door. The drive to the Café was a short one. You parked and made your way across the street, ready to go in and get a table for the two of you, fully expecting to have beaten him there.
To your surprise, when you opened the door, there he was. Aaron stood from his seat and walked toward you. You met him halfway and he pulled you into a gentle embrace. You didn’t fail to notice how he still towered over you despite your heels,
“Hi! It’s so good to see you.” He said pulling out your chair.
“Oh, thank you! It’s good to see you too, I was really glad you called.” You smiled as Aaron returned to his seat across from you.
“Yeah, sorry that it’s a random Wednesday, but with my job it makes it so hard and with us being free today I wanted to take the chance and spend it with you.” Aaron explained.
“I am happy to be here! The day doesn’t matter.” You shot Aaron a shy smile.
“You look beautiful by the way.”
You couldn’t help but blush at Aaron’s words. He had been so kind and gentle with you since you had started seeing one another. You had only gone on a few dates, but things were really good. The two of you had agreed to take things slow, having both gotten out of relationships not too long ago and Aaron also had Jack to think about. You guys had texted and talked on the phone quite a bit. He had gone as far as to call you late one night after a particularly rough case.
The two of you were currently talking about how your respective weeks have gone. Aaron had just gotten back from a case (hence why you were on your date now) and you had just completed a pretty big project at work. In the midst of your conversation, the song playing in the café changed to I Will by the Beatles, one of your favorite songs.
“Oh my god I love this song!” You gushed, quietly humming along.
“You like the Beatles?” Aaron asked.
“I love them! I have every one of their albums on vinyl.” You blushed.
“I don’t think I have ever met a woman with the same level of Beatles obsession as my own.” Aaron smiled at you in admiration.
The two of you ate while quietly enjoying the music and one another’s company.
“For if I ever saw you, I didn’t catch your name. But it never really mattered, I will always feel the same. Love you forever and forever, love you with all my hear- “
“Jesus, can you stop fucking singing that song?” He huffed.
“Babe, it’s a really good song, I wish you would just listen to the words.”
“I don’t give a shit about your stupid song. I don’t get it anyway.” He shut you down.
Aaron and you continued your conversation upon finishing your meal. You were in pure bliss with how amazing things were going. Aaron was attentive and gave you his full attention. He nodded and responded when it was needed. He also held conversation so well, he gave just enough information about himself in combination with asking you about yourself.
Another thing that had you swooning over Aaron was the fact that he had thrown his head back in laughter a few times throughout your conversation. You truly couldn’t wrap your head around how lucky you had been to have met Aaron. Your ex had never found your sense of humor funny, and it was nice to be in the presence of someone who appreciated it.
“Can you not make jokes like that when we’re in front of my friends? Like seriously what the fuck was that?” He demanded.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it. It was just a joke. Your friends laughed.” You shrugged.
“It wasn’t even funny. They just laughed out of pity to save you from the embarrassment of nobody understanding your stupid ass jokes.” He rolled his eyes at you as he stormed off.
Aaron checked his watch and noticed how late it was getting. He looked into your eyes and smiled, neither one of you wanting this day to end. But he needed to go pick up Jack from soccer practice.
“Can I walk you to your car?” Aaron asked.
“That would be great.” You smiled, wrapping your scarf around your neck.
As you made your way over to your car, you thought about talking to Aaron about how your ex had truly broken you, and that part of the reason you’d requested to take things so slowly is because you had to relearn how to accept love from someone. The last eight months had allowed you time to fall in love with yourself again, but loving someone else was a whole new obstacle you were working through.
Aaron’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts, he had been talking about how he wanted to introduce you to Jack, not now, but in the near future. He had come up with a nice way to do so.
“So, Jack and I always watch Elf and the Grinch around Christmas, I think it could be nice if one night you came over and watched one of them with us, you know. It gives us a few more weeks to really solidify things between us and by then we will have been seeing each other for four months. What do you say?” Aaron looked hopefully at you.
“Only if it’s the Jim Carrey Grinch movie. That new animated one is cute and all, but it doesn’t hold a candle to the live action.” You smiled back at him.
“Of course, it’s the Jim Carrey one. We take things very seriously at our house.” Aaron smirked at you.
Aaron and you shared a laugh, and then he brushed his hand over your cheek, leaned in, and kissed you gently. December couldn’t come fast enough. Things with your ex had really messed you up, and he’d left you believing that love wasn’t meant to flourish, just burn, and break and end.
But on a Wednesday, in a Café you watched it begin again.
#aaron hotchner#aaron hotch hotchner#hotch#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotchner x reader#ssa aaron hotchner#criminal minds#aaron x reader#hotch x reader#hotch x you#hotch x y/n#emily prentiss#penelope garcia#spencer reid#david rossi#derek morgan#jennifer jareau#criminal minds fandom#thomas gibson#jack hotchner#jessica brooks#haley brooks#haley hotchner#aaron hotch x you#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotch imagine#aaron hotch fluff#aaron hotch fic#aaron hotch fanfiction#aaron hotchner x you
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call it what you want part9
matt sturniolo x fem reader.
MY TAGLIST STILL ISNT WORKING 🫠🫠🫠
6 days. it has been 6 days since you had spoken to matt. he had turned up at your house on monday morning to take you to school. but you had decided on sunday night you weren’t going. you couldn’t face him. you didn’t want to.
he showed up again tuesday. and when you didn’t even tell him to leave, he knocked on your door to be met with nothing. he stood out there for a whole 17 minutes before accepting defeat and leaving.
wednesday, the same story. he showed up, you didn’t come out. he knocked. no answer. he left.
thursday he even went as far as knocking, getting no answer and then sitting outside, repeatedly pressing the horn for almost 4 minutes straight, and then eventually giving up.
but when friday rolled around, matt sent an alliance to your door.
“y/n. it’s me open up” you heard him say. his voice was muffled from the thick wooden barrier between you both.
you stood staring at the door, contemplating wether to open it or not, like you had every day this week. you knew matt would turn up but this wasn’t his fault. he didn’t deserve to be shut out because of his piece of shit brother.
you sighed before reluctantly opening the door, coming face to face with the one person who knows you best. chris sturniolo.
“oh y/n” he breathed, frowning at your state as he stepped inside.
your hair was a mess, and dark circles donned your eyes. your face was pale, like you were sick.
“how you feeling?” he questioned looking down at you. it was a really stupid question. he could tell you were doing terribly just by looking at you, but he would never admit that out loud.
you just shrugged and looked down at your feet. chewing on your lip. there was no way to even put into words how you’ve been feeling. so for a lack of a better term, fucking horrible.
“i don’t know exactly what happened… but matts doing terrible too” he stated.
“i bet he is chris” you replied sarcastically. rolling your eyes.
“he’s been asking about you every day, he even tried talking to caden at school. he’s a mess y/n” chris sighed. looking at you with pleading eyes.
“you can go back to hating him, but i think you should just talk to eachother, it would be a waste for things to end like this” he told you.
there was an internal battle going on inside your head. part of you was a little warm inside over the fact he was worried and asking after you, the other part was enraged over the fact he had the audacity to be upset over his own actions. he deserved to dwell in your absence. why should you forgive him. he had hurt you and he had to live with that.
chris stood there, watching the cogs turn in your head. he knew you were stubborn, but he also knew his brother was 10 times more stubborn, so the fact that he was willing to admit he was wrong and do everything in his power to get you to listen, was shocking.
“is he outside?” pointless question. you knew he was.
chris nodded, standing infront of you with his arms by his sides.
you took in a breath before muttering.
“give me 15 minutes”.
-
the whole car ride was uncomfortable. chris had forced you into the passenger seat and it made you want to grab the wheel and run the car off the road, but you decided against it.
luckily for you, matt had used his common sense. he look one look at you and kept his mouth shut, just offering a small smile to witch you did not return.
he didn’t deserve it. he did not deserve the satisfaction of thinking there was any chance you were ever going to forgive him. because as far as you were aware, you weren’t going to.
up until 2 weeks ago you and matt couldn’t stand the sight of each other, so after 14 days of slightly less hatred, going back to your old ways wouldn’t harm anyone.
“i’m gonna give you two time to talk” chris muttered, opening the car door and stepping out.
you hadn’t even realised you had arrived at school. the whole way there you had been aimlessly gorming out the window, trying to stop yourself from screaming.
you wanted to get out of the car and sprint in the opposite direction. there was no way matt could justify himself, but you at least wanted to hear whatever sorry excuse he would come up with, so you stayed put.
there was an abundant pause, the both of you just sitting there. you couldn’t even look at him out of fear you might just slap him across the face there and then, but you could feel matts eyes burning into the side of your head as you stared out of the front window with your arms crossed.
matt turned his body towards you, opening his mouth to speak, but the words got caught in his throat, he didn’t even know what he would say. he sighed before dropping his head.
“i’m sorry” he mumbled.
his eyes wandered back up to your face, and when you didn’t even flinch, he continued.
“there’s no excuse for what i said. it was so fucked up. and i don’t think what i said is true y/n. i don’t think you’re damaged and i don’t think you’re weak. i was just something i said out of anger, but that isn’t an excuse. angry or not i shouldn’t have said it” he stated softly. like the distinct tone of his voice would determine how this was going to go.
“i showed up every day this week trying to get you out of the house y/n, does that not show you how sorry i am?” he added.
“oh so you showing up, and banging on my door for 15 minutes every morning makes it okay?” you spat at him. still not looking at his face.
“no, no of course not but… i’m trying y/n, i’m really trying” he sighed.
you just shook your head, keeping your eyes trained forward.
matt swallowed, eyes darting across the side of your face, frantically trying to read your mind.
“if i could go back in time and change what i said i promise i would” he whispered, leaning over the centre console slightly.
he didn’t know why he was beating himself up so much. he’s said stuff like this before with out even batting an eyelid, so why now?
his heartbeat quickened when you slowly craned your neck to face him.
there was a blank look spread across your features that he couldn’t place.
you took in a breath, and blinked at him, pursing your lips before speaking.
“go fuck your self” and with that you were shoving the car door open and getting out.
you could hear him calling after you but you didn’t care. you continued marching across the parking lot towards the school doors. leaving him there once again to wallow in the knowledge that he had hurt you to an extent that was fucking unforgivable.
-
“nope. not happening” chris said.
“why chris? this is a good way for me to stay calm” you whined.
“turning to drugs and getting high is a bad way to deal with your emotions y/n” he tutted.
“you do it. so what you’re saying is that you are bad at dealing with your emotions?” you quirked. coming to a stop when chris got to his locker.
“deflecting is not gonna get you what you want” he spoke, looking at you briefly with a flat expression before turning back to his locker.
“ughhh, look, i’m dealing with my emotions. i’m sad and i’m angry at your brother. i know how i feel. i just wanna smoke so i can take the edge off” you said shrugging.
he shook his head slowly, pressing his lips into a thin line, standing his ground.
“come on chris” you whispered, looking up at him with big round eyes.
he sighed before closing his locker and turning to you.
“i’ll let you smoke under one condition” he stated.
you nodded your head excitedly and grinned waiting for him to continue.
“you have to come to that party on sunset” he smiled sarcastically.
you hated parties and chris knew that, so if he asked you to go, he knew you would refuse, and that would be his get out of jail free card as to not let you get high.
he blinked at you with a smirk on his face, because in his head neither of you were gonna get what you wanted.
“okay” you shrugged.
“‘okay’?” he exclaimed, “you’ll go?”
“yeah why not, maybe i’ll find another dark tattood, handsome man to sweep me off my feet” you wiggled your eyebrows at him.
“so what you’re saying is that you think matt is handsome and he swept you off your feet?” he giggled, wiggling his eyebrows back.
your face dropped and you swatted his arm, trying to hide your smile, he just dodged you, carrying on laughing as he walked down the hall with you trailing behind.
-
“ok but if i wear the black one the shoes won’t match” you ranted holding the shirt up to your chest in the mirror.
this had been going on for about an hour. nick ans chris had been sat on your bed, waiting for you to get ready.
at first you were all listening to music, talking and laughing, but by the time you had re applied your makeup for the second time, and re curled your hair for the third time, chris had gotten bored and fallen asleep, and nick had just simply lost interest and started staring at the wall.
“i don’t wanna wear these shoes”
“the white shirt is so cute though”
“but the sleeves are weird”
“i’m not going”
“y/n!” nick yelled, snapping you out of your frenzy and waking chris up.
you turned to him with wide eyes at his sudden outburst.
“we were supposed to leave an hour ago, wear the black shirt with the white shoes” he breathed, closing his eyes, briefly before opening them and looking at you with a hard stare.
“fine” you replied, rolling your eyes and stomping over to your bathroom to change.
“what if matts there?” you yelled through the door, pulling your shirt over your head.
“he won’t be” chris yelled back.
you didn’t say anything else as you straightened the top out and fixed your hair. there was a small tiny microscopic piece of you that wished he would be there. not so you could talk or anything. just so he could see you enjoying yourself, but the way this night was going. you highly doubted you would.
-
the strong smell of alcohol and weed wafted through the air as you made your way through the house, chris close on your tail.
there were people everywhere some of wich you recognised, some you didn’t, all sandwiched together, and it only made you question why people enjoyed parties more.
you had been here for almost an hour now and you hadn’t left chris’s side once. he had been catching up with some old friends who moved town when they were younger, but you just stood quietly scoping the area.
so far you we’re safe. no matt. no elijah. and you hoped it would stay that way, partially.
“hey i’m gonna go grab a drink” you said, pulling on chris’s arm to get his attention.
he nodded, and started saying his goodbyes to his friends, telling them he would see them later, indicating he was coming with you.
there was a large table in the middle of the kitchen, full of alcoholic drinks and right now, to you, it looked like it was glowing.
“you’re drinking?” chris questioned with his eyebrows pinched together.
“yeah why not?” you shrugged, reaching for the vodka bottle and a red solo cup.
“whatever just….don’t get too drunk” chris laughed, but his voice carried a warning tone.
you just rolled your eyes before pouring both you and Chris a shot, and handing him the cup.
“here’s to, handsome dark tattooed men, aka matt” Chris laughed before bringing the cup up to his mouth.
you just shook your head, smiling before also taking the shot.
your face scrunched up at the taste in your mouth, it was horrible. but the feel of it burning in your chest was thrilling.
you never really drank. sure you’d had alcohol before, but always in an environment where you were comfortable, like you’re own house while your parents were asleep, or nicks room while his parents were away for the weekend, never in the heat of a raging house party.
“hey, i’m gonna use the bathroom i’ll be right back” chris said, raising his voice slightly over the music.
you just hummed a reply before watching him walk away, and then turning back to the table of drinks.
fireball.
you poured the shot and downed it instantly. better than vodka, still gross.
one more couldn’t hurt.
you poured the shot again, bringing it to your lips, and just as the hot liquid entered your mouth. a voice appeared behind you.
“thirsty?”
fuck.
you ignored him completely, bringing the cup back down and placing it on the table.
“didn’t think i’d see you here, this isn’t really your scene” he told you, coming around to the side of you and leaning on the table.
you ignored him again, pouring yet another shot.
“then again, matt sturniolo isn’t really your scene, somehow you’re all over him” he muttered in a low voice, and from the corner of your eye, you saw him looking around.
he was just as paranoid as you were.
“who i’m all over is none of your business anymore elijah” you sighed, turning to him and smiling sarcastically. but someone else caught your eye.
a dark, tattooed, handsome man who could easily sweep you off your feet.
he was watching you. his gaze strong and jaw clenched. and suddenly elijahs voice became a ringing in your ears.
you could have crumbled there and then, he looked good. his tattoos on full display, slight stubble growing, that you had noticed this morning but you were too fucking angry to register it.
his eyes stayed locked on yours, daring you to look away, and when you didn’t, he pushed off the wall he was leaning on, and sauntered over to you.
“….and as far as i’m awar-“
“hey baby” matt cooed, cutting elijah off and wrapping an arm around your waist.
you wanted to pull away. you were still angry at him, but for the sake of the act, you stayed put.
elijah scoffed, looking matt up and down like he was scum of the earth.
your eyes darted between the two, waiting in expectancy for one of them to talk.
“you gotta tell me how you do it sturniolo, you’re always there, you know? waiting to pounce every time i talk to her. maybe i should be concerned. are you stalking me?” elijah questioned. he was trying to get under matts skin, and the way he squeezed your waist slightly, told you it was working.
matt laughed slightly, looking off to the side before bringing his eyes back to elijah.
“well if you wasn’t always bothering my girlfriend, i wouldn’t have to be there every time you talk to her” he shrugged, smiling sarcastically at your ex.
matt turned to you, pulling his eyebrows together.
“is he bothering you sweetheart?” he asked.
you just looked at him with wide eyes. silently begging him not to do anything.
yes you and matt hated each other, but you knew him well enough to know he would use any excuse to punch someone. and elijahs face had been served to him on a silver platter.
“i think you’re bothering her Whitlock” he stated, removing his arm from your waist and stepping in front of you.
“matt” you mumbled. he ignored you.
elijah laughed and dropped his head, standing up fully, like he was trying to intimidate matt but the odds were even. there was no turning back now.
when elijah brought his eyes back up, they landed on yours, his gaze was cold and unsettling, but the words that came out of his mouth, didn’t mean half as much to you as they did matt.
“considering she’s such a slut, i don’t think she minds who bothers her”.
oh shit.
——————————————————————————
taglist: @christinarowie332 @biimpanicking @biplrbtch @ukyos @eyelessdemon00 @iheart2021chris @hearts4chris @leah-loves-lilies @whicked-hazlatwhore @1201pm-blog @yourmom-123456789 @mattnchrisworld @leoloveeeee @jazab3lla @martyniukpl @ilovemattstromboli @obsessedwithyou @breeloveschris @skyteller143 @innocentfsin @thatcrazybitch-69 @ihateeveryone357474 @shmophsturniolo @sturns-posts @mattsturnzzz09 @sturnisposts @jenna0rtegaswife @jeffbuckleylvr27 @sara2233445 @sturniolos4lifee @kasiaslayuje @cosmicmistake42069 @24kmar @ikeryn @sleepdeprivedandinsane @lvr444life @travelintheworld @aubreyswift13 @sturniololol @starziick @nickmillersn1gf @beautyb1ade @tommysaxes @sstvrnioloo
#mango talks#nick sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo x reader#call it what you want#matthew bernard sturniolo#matt sturniolo smut#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo#christopher owen sturniolo#chris sturniolo blurb#chris sturniolo oneshot#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo imagine#sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo smut#ciwyw#my fics#my stuff#s#sturn
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Welcome to the Lube Chute!
Some We're-A-Package-Deal Summer Job Stobin crack, dedicated to @griefabyss69. Also shout out to @wynnyfryd who said the Lube Chute sounded like the location of Stobin's next fail summer job after Family Video got destroyed.
"No, I'm telling you, Steve. We have to say it every time."
"We have to say, 'Welcome to the Lube Chute, where our main goal is fillin' all your holes,' every time?"
"Every time." Robin shrugged her shoulders. "It's the whole 'ocean of flavor' thing all over again." She'd started at the Lube Chute a week before him, owing to his need to hover over Eddie while his body knitted itself back together.
By the time Steve had decided Eddie could get to the fridge and the bathroom on his own, she had been deemed competent enough to show him the register and inventory procedures.
"Yeah, except 'ocean of flavor' was about ice cream," Steve said. "And this is about, you know, rubber dicks."
"That's the way of stupid retail, huh." Robin sighed dramatically and hopped upon the counter. Next to her sat an open box of flavored lubes. She picked up a pricing gun and started affixing them with stickers.
A few minutes later, the door dinged with the sound of someone pushing their way into the shop. A regular-looking latino man in jeans and a faded Zeppelin tee stepped into the shop.
Steve gave Robin a pleading look, and she pulled her lips thin in sympathy and mouthed, "sorry, your turn."
God. Welp. He may as well rip off the Band-Aid.
"Welcome to the Lube Chute," Steve said flatly, "where our goal is fillin' holes."
The guy snorted softly and went on his way, moving toward a rack of adult video tapes. Meanwhile, Robin kept her head down, looking pointedly to where she'd slapped a $.3.99 label onto a bottle of Maxxx Slick Strawberry.
"Like obviously I don't care," she said. "But it is 'where our main goal is fillin' all your holes.'"
"Ugh." Steve rolled his eyes up at the ceiling. "Why is it, like, so long?"
Curling his chin back around, he found the customer at the counter holding Dr. Lovesmuscles's Foot Long Schlong. The customer looked between it and Steve before raising his eyebrows.
Shit and fuck. For the first time in literally ever, Steve wished he was back in those tiny Scoops shorts.
"I wasn't... I didn't mean the... I..." Steve stared at the guy over the counter and then gave up on trying to explain, punching things into the register as fast as he could so he could end the interaction. "So for the video and the toy, that comes to $18.39 with tax."
Steve made made change for a $20, put the guy's things into a nondescript brown paper bag, and then bit back a groan when he realized he had to embarrass himself one more time before it was all over.
"Thank you for visiting the Lube Chute. Remember if the base ain't flared, it doesn't go up there. Have a nice day!"
Next to him, Robin coughed into her elbow. When Steve looked over, he found her reading the back of one of the lube bottles, this one watermelon flavored.
"What do you think potassium sorbate even is?" Robin asked. "I mean, I know what potassium is. I passed chem and got into college—go Wildcats. Just... potassium sorbate. What does it even do?"
Steve stared at her for a long moment and then snatched the pricing gun from her hand.
#
It was late July. August loomed and with it so did the end of possibly their last summer job together.
After this, they were both slated to leave Hawkins. Robin to Northwestern, Steve to Chicago to be near her (and because it made sense as a base for Eddie to work on growing his music career.)
On this particular Wednesday, they had a huge shipment of video tapes to go through.
Other than the scantily clad and sometimes fully nude women on the covers, it felt a lot like being back at Family Video. They quickly priced and stocked the tapes that were for sale, and then they worked on storing the covers for the rentals and putting them in the rental cases and then into the system.
"God, Steve, I am just, like, so gay," Robin whispered under her breath for the fifth or sixth time as she stared wide-eyed at a VHS cover. On it, a redheaded woman stared into the camera, her breasts exposed, her hand disappearing down the front of her very thin white panties.
"You do know you can just, like, check one of these out, right?" Steve asked. "You're an adult. No one would—"
Steve cut himself off when the bell over the door jingled. Jumping at the sound, Robin almost dropped the tape, fumbling with it several times before Steve snatched it from the air and handed it back to her. She was blushing hard when she went to put it into the computer.
One crisis averted, Steve turned toward the door to find one of the owners coming in.
Shit.
Steve had slacked off on the welcome and goodbye phrases over the course of the summer because, well, he didn't want to say them. And now he wasn't sure he even remembered them properly. Shit, shit, shit.
He smiled and nodded as the owner approached the counter. Stephanie was a sleek, blonde woman who looked nothing like the kind of person you might expect to own a sex shop.
"Order come in okay?" she asked.
"Oh, uh, one damaged tape so far," Steve said. "Definitely an improvement over the last order."
'If the base is too...' No, that wasn't it.
"Love to hear that since I spent 3 hours yelling at the distributor after that incident."
'Where we fill holes for...' Definitely not.
"Yeah, right, sucked for us too beca—" Steve froze as a customer walked into the shop. He looked over at Robin, hoping to catch her eyes for a save, but she was laser-focused on sorting another box of tapes into alphabetical order for processing.
Fuck. Steve smiled at the incoming customer. Okay, he could do this. Deep breath, winning smile.
"Welcome to the Lube Chute, where our main goal is fillin' all your holes."
Robin inhaled a deep gasp right around the same time that Stephanie burst into raucous laughter, throwing her head back and exposing her slender throat. In another life where he wasn't already tits over ass for Eddie Munson, he would've had to fall a little in love with her.
"Oh my God, that is too good." Stephanie wiped tears form her eyes with her thumbs and then giggled a few more times. "Jesus, Steve. Did you come up with that on your own?"
"Wha—?" Steve snapped his eyes over to Robin, who had her teeth set in grimace that would have been comedic at any other time. Shoulders pulled up around her ears, her eyes bled with apology.
Steve clenched his jaw and turned back to Stephanie, slipping into the most suave persona he could muster under those conditions. "Oh, you know, just thought you'd get a kick out of it."
"Well, you were right about that." Stephanie shook her head and grabbed the money bag to take it to the bank. "'Fillin' holes!" She laughed again on her way out the door.
Steve watched like a hawk as her car pulled out of the parking lot and then rounded on Robin, voice low as the customer browsed the "New Videos!" display.
"You told me we HAD to say..."
"Oh my God, I was gonna tell you after, like, a week, but then you stopped doing it on your own, so I just kinda..." Robin made a wobbly gesture with both hands, and Steve sighed deeply.
"You're walking home today," he said, but they both knew he didn't mean it, especially when his lunch break rolled around and he saved her half his orange as usual.
#
It was still July, and they could see the customer approaching from the parking lot.
"Steve," Robin said. "Steve, please."
"I want to point out that it's your own fault that you have to do this now, officially, as part of company policy. Because Stephanie liked it so much."
"Steve, but..."
Steve jutted his hip out against the counter and crossed his arms, waiting. With the same put-upon sigh he'd grown used to at Scoops and Family Video, Robin drew herself up taller and slapped her hands down on either side of the register.
Through the front door, a fat woman with curly brown hair stepped into the shop. Robin beamed at her.
"Welcome to the Lube Chute! Where our main goal is fillin' all your holes."
#crack treated seriously#stobin#this started as a joke on the Discord and then I was told I needed to put something on tumblr for the masses#when you embarrass your bestie for the bit and it backfires
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deep claws (wednesday addams/reader)
so this was a request but i posted it accidentally and i lost it along with half of my work but that's ok! anon i hope you like it.
summary: there was a big bruise on your body, one that you tried to keep hidden from everyone and that worked for some days. that is, until wednesday catches you in the lie.
warnings: blood and bruised and much pain, wednesday will also be scarier than usual but all end up with a happy ending
With a heavy sigh, you pulled down your shirt that had a huge blood stain right on top of the poorly made bandage, feeling the burning come back ten times worse.
"You should tell someone about this." Enid said. She was standing on the edge of your bed looking at you with concern. You didn't want her to find out, but in the end it was unavoidable since she walked into your room when you were trying to get stitches on yourself.
"I will not. This school is already going through a lot of problems, they don't need another one." You spoke firmly, leaving no room for argument.
Enid was stubborn though, and wouldn't let it go. "But you know you can die from it. You can have an infection."
You agreed and pressed your hand on your waist, right over the cut, applying pressure and tried to get up. From the copious loss of blood, you were still dizzy and a little weak so you swayed to your feet. "Look, I'll be better in a minute. I promise."
"Wednesday will hate me for not saying anything."
"She won't find out from me." You said, swallowing when a strong dizziness brought you an overwhelming feeling of nausea.
Enid went to your side and guided you to your bed and helped you to lie down in a position that wouldn't open all your stitches, and stood looking at you. "I still think it's totally stupid."
You smirked. "You can rest assured that I will live for years just to annoy you."
For the first time since she found out about that situation, she gave a genuine laugh and smiled. Enid was a great friend and she cared about everyone, which you appreciated, but you preferred to keep your situation out of other people's ears.
A few minutes passed between the two of you talking and then the door opened, revealing an ever stoic Wednesday. She looked angrier than ever. "Hey, Wed." You greeted, trying not to let your voice shake.
She grimaced at the horrible nickname and walked across the room, dropping her purse at the bed. "How was your day?" Every day she asked you the same question and tried to demonstrate things around you more openly. She was doing really well at it.
"Boring. Good thing Enid came." The blonde smiled at you and placed her hands in front of her body, looking between you both. She was used to being in the same room and witnessing Wednesday's minuscule affection, but in that moment she really wanted to be somewhere else.
"I came and I'm leaving. Bye to both." She said waving. Before closing the bedroom door she said an inaudible 'be ok' and you smiled in agreement.
Wednesday walked over to your side and sat down, looking at you deeply. "You're different." She looked you up and down.
"What do you mean?" You laughed nervously.
She looked into your face and locked eyes with yours, as if all the answers were there. "You are pale, sweating and your hands are shaking."
You swallowed hard and tried to smile but failed as your body shuddered as a sharp pain shot up your spine. "I'm totally fine."
"This is obviously a lie." She said. "Are you hurt?"
Trying to prove there was nothing, you threw your legs over the side and braced yourself to your feet, bitterly regretting it when you felt sharp twinges. It was like someone was stabbing you over and over again with inhuman strength.
A loud, aching scream escaped your throat and you fell back, your whole body shuddering and twitching with pain. Wednesday quickly moved to hold your head and helped you to lie down better. "What happened?" She asked, scared.
You took the best breath you could and pulled your shirt up, revealing the bloody bandage. Not waiting long, she moved to grab the first aid kit you had by your bed, not caring about the things falling to the floor. Because of your small feat, your stitches had burst and your cut was redder. For the first time in her life Wednesday was hating a sight like that.
She didn't say anything as she cleaned up and tried not to hurt you with the stitches. You could see that she was angry, worried and scared, and you knew you were going to have to explain why of those cuts. "It was the hyde, wasn't it?" She asked, turning around to throw everything she'd used away.
"Yes." You said, your voice breathy and trembling. "I was walking near the woods when he attacked me. I was lucky I managed to escape before he killed me, but I earned this."
She turned and met your eyes. She was angrier than you thought. "I told you to stay away from there. You could have died."
You threw your head back against the headboard and took a deep breath. "I know, and I didn't really go to the forest, I was in the garden."
"You shouldn't go there. I told you how dangerous it was." This time the one who was angry was you.
"I'm not going to stay inside this place forever just because a sick person is killing people. I need to breathe, Wednesday." You swallowed, feeling your throat close up. "I will not stop living because of this."
She stood up and pinched her eyebrows. "One second more and you wouldn't be here anymore."
That was a baseless argument, since you didn't want and wouldn't stop doing what you wanted because of some monster. "You think death is so beautiful, maybe I would start to think the same thing once I met her."
Wednesday's breathing grew faster and heavier, her hands curled into fists and clenched until her fingers turned horribly white. You had said the wrong thing. "When I saw the cut I thought about how I could have lost you, that I would never see you again and in a second that became my worst fear. So don't play with it ever again."
Softening, you nodded and stretched out your other arm, asking her to lie down next to you. Wednesday climbed into bed and tried her best not to touch anything that might hurt you and rested her head on top of your chest. "I promise, Wed."
While you slept, weary with pain and weak, she watched over you. Seeing you there, on the way to get well, alive and safe, she promised that nothing and no one would ever hurt you again. She would make sure of that.
my first language is portuguese (brazil) and it's really hard translate it and that's why there can be some nonsense things (i know english but i'm not fluent unfortunately) i'm really sorry!!!
if you want you can send me a request :)
#wednesday addams x reader#wednesday addams x you#wednesday addams imagine#wednesday addams#wednesday 2022#wednesday#idk if this is good#but ok i'll get better#was supposed to be a fem reader
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Cry wolf (Rúben Dias x Reader)
**Hello! Finally, a new Rúben imagine. This is a combination of two requests I got. It's a bit angsty and dramatic. What a comeback! I hope you enjoy it ❤️**
Word count: 1944
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"Ahhh!", you yelled the moment you got inside the bathroom and saw what was on the floor. "Oh my God! What am I supposed to do?"
Saying you panicked whenever you saw any sort of insect or bug would be an understatement. You could barely stay out in the park for half an hour, worried about all the creatures that could be around you. So seeing a cockroach first thing in the morning wasn't ideal. And your boyfriend was gone. So what were you going to do?
"Ok. It's fine. I'm a grown woman and can do this".
You kept convincing yourself that you could kill it and so you put your shoes on, walked inside the bathroom again and spotted the disgusting thing that was still there. Placing your fingers inside your ears, you stepped on it, took your shoe off without lifting it from the floor and left the bathroom. There was one in the guest room you could use.
After a shower, you put some clothes on and called Rúben. He was at the gym but it was still early, so you knew his official training session hadn't started.
"Hi, everything ok?"
It was very unlike you to call him this early. You usually just send a text before going to work. "It is now. But there is a corpse in the bathroom".
"A what?", he laughed.
"There was a cockroach and I killed it".
"Are you planning on doing a funeral? Throw it in the bin".
"I can't. It's disgusting. Can you do it when you're back?"
"Are you for real?", you could hear his tone change.
"Yeah".
"You aren't a child anymore. You can clean that mess yourself".
"But it's disgusting!", you complained.
"And you think it's nice for me to do it? Honestly, grow up".
Well, growing up takes time, so what you did was hang up the phone. Why was he such an asshole?
He had been acting like that a lot lately. And sure, some of your requests were a bit childish but he was one to talk. You had to tiptoe around his feelings for a whole day after he scored an own goal. He could be childish himself.
But you guessed he was kind of right about this specific situation, so you went back to the bathroom but…you couldn't do it. You knew you were going to have nightmares about it for days. So you left the shoe and the dead bug there and went to work. You would deal with Rúben later.
**
By the time you were done with work, you expected a text from Rúben. He always sent one when he got home to let you know about any plans or just ask about what you wanted for dinner. But there was no text. It was odd but you decided not to worry. He might have stayed for an extra training session. It wouldn't be the first time.
"Hello?", you called when you got back to the apartment. "Rúben?"
You spotted him in the living room, glaring at you.
"Good day?"
"I guess. Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Because I came back home and found you didn't clean the mess in the bathroom".
"Rúben", you said, back to that whining tone you hated but couldn't help but use sometimes. "I tried but it was so disgusting. I swear I couldn't do it".
"So I had to do it".
"Thank you…", you tried to say but he interrupted you.
"You keep doing this. Calling me while I'm working for stupid things you should be able to do".
"They aren't always stupid…".
"They are. And you know what happened to the boy who kept crying wolf?", you rolled your eyes. "One day you'll really need me and I won't believe it's an emergency".
You could feel the tears in your eyes. Even if he was partly right, there was no need to be so mean.
"If this is how you're going to be today, I'll go out to get some fresh air and be away from you. You're being really unfair".
"No need for you to go. Some of my teammates invited me to have dinner with them and I said yes".
"But it's Wednesday".
"I need the fresh air as well", he said, going back to the room.
Wednesdays were your day. You met on a Wednesday, kissed for the first time on a Wednesday, moved in together on a Wednesday,... Rúben's schedule meant he was away a lot, so you cherished whenever he had a day off on Wednesday so much. He often got you flowers or booked a table for dinner at a restaurant. And now he was leaving. Well, both of you could be pricks.
Picking up your bag again, you left without saying goodbye and got inside the car. You didn't even know where you were going. And you should have probably just walked but it was raining and the last thing you needed was to catch a cold.
Traffic wasn't too bad and you kept driving after the light turned green. And soon, everything went dark.
**
Rúben thought about staying home when he heard you leave. Maybe he should wait until you get back and apologize. You both had reasons to apologize but he knew he had been a dick to you. It was just that sometimes it got on his nerves how much you depended on him. For the stupidest things. You were independent otherwise. You had a good job, which meant you had your own money, and managed most of the important things around the house. But then you couldn't deal with killing a bug and cleaning the mess. It just didn't make sense sometimes and it frustrated him.
So Rúben met some of his teammates for dinner. And then, for drinks. Even if he didn't have any since the season had already started and, well, everyone remembered what happened the last time he drank. How could they forget?
"Your phone keeps buzzing", told him Nathan and Rúben looked to see it was you calling.
A part of him wanted to answer but he was still angry. And so he just moved the phone away and ignored it. Nathan gave him a weird look, he had seen it was you calling, but decided he wouldn't stick his nose in your business. Better to stay out of it.
Rúben still felt fidgety. He never ignored your calls. And what if it was something important?
"I'm going to the toilet. I'll be right back".
And while he was washing his hands, he saw the door open and turned to find Nathan staring at him with wide eyes.
"What?"
"Your phone kept ringing and then you got a text from your girlfriend asking you to answer in not very nice words. So I answered the next time she called…but it wasn't her who was calling you".
"What do you mean? Who has her phone?"
"Her friend Patricia, who is a nurse. They are both in the hospital".
"What? Why?"
Rúben felt dizzy all of a sudden.
"She had an accident".
**
"Patricia! Where is she?"
Rúben was running around the hospital's corridor, not caring about who he bumped into. And when he finally saw Patricia, he cared even less.
"Oh, now you care?"
"You can call me names later, please tell me what happened!"
"A drunk driver hit her car".
"Is she ok? Where is she?", now he was panicking even more. And feeling guilty. So guilty.
"The doctors were worried when she got here", started Patricia and she put a hand on Rúben's arm when she noticed he was about to lose control. "But she's fine. Well, as fine as one can be. She got really lucky. She was unconscious when she got here but there's no major damage".
"Thank God!", sighed Rúben. "Where is she? Can I see her?"
"Follow me".
Patricia could move around the area freely and she took Rúben with her to your room and then knocked on the door.
"Wait here. The doctors are still inside".
Rúben nodded and pressed his ear to the door. He could hear Patricia telling the doctors that your partner was there and wanted to see you and a couple of minutes later, the door opened.
"Come in".
Rúben took no time to do so and soon he was by the bed, right next to you and completely ignoring the doctors who were still there.
"Are you ok?"
"Yes", you nodded. But you looked so small and weak. There were a few bruises on your skin but Patricia was right. It could have been so much worse.
That was when Rúben decided to acknowledge the doctors.
"Sorry. I was really worried. Is she ok? When can she go back home?"
"Tomorrow morning. We want to monitor her tonight, just to be on the safe side".
He nodded and looked back at you, the way your eyes kept closing worried him.
"They gave her some medicine to sleep", said Patricia, as if she could read his mind. "She needs the rest".
"Of course. Can I stay here?"
"Yes. I'll get you a pillow and a blanket but that won't make the sofa any more comfortable".
"I don't care about that. And thank you".
The night was terrible for Rúben. He kept staring at you and wasn't able to sleep. That's why he was awake every time a nurse showed up to check how you were doing. And even if they all told him everything was fine, he still couldn't sleep.
When you finally woke up, he jumped from the sofa to go to your side.
"How are you? Are you in pain? Should I call a doctor?"
"I'm fine. I just need the toilet".
"I'll take you there".
"No you won't, Rúben", you chuckled.
"Then I'll call a nurse".
"No. I'm fine".
Despite his protests, you got up and went to the bathroom by yourself. Your whole body ached but it was bearable. And you were going to get more painkillers soon with your breakfast so it was ok.
"Let me help you", he said, taking your arm to help you walk back to the bed. And you let him even if you didn't need the help.
"Thanks".
"I'm so sorry", he blurted out. "You have no idea. You could have been hurt so badly and I wasn't answering the phone because of a ridiculous fight. I will never forgive myself for that. You needed me and I wasn't there".
"Rúben", you said, grabbing his hand. "We both made mistakes. You were right. I kept crying wolf and then when something bad happened, you didn't think it was an emergency. You were so right about …".
"No. No, that's no excuse".
"Don't feel bad, really. Plus, it wasn't even me calling. I was busy doing tests to make sure everything was ok".
"Still. It won't happen again. Call me anytime to kill a cockroach or to do anything you need . Seriously, I'll always be there".
"I know you will. But I have some growing up to do too. If I hadn't left like that because I was upset you told me off, this wouldn't have happened".
"Hey!", he was now the one grabbing your hands. "You drove when the light was green and a drunk driver hit you. You did nothing wrong. It was all his fault".
"But…".
"But nothing. Now let me pamper you until you're healthy again".
"I like being pampered", you smiled.
"Then get ready. Because even queens will be jealous of how I'll treat you".
And Rúben sealed his promise with a kiss.
#ruben dias#ruben dias fanfiction#ruben dias fanfic#ruben dias imagine#footballer one shot#ruben dias angst#ruben dias fluff#football one shot#footballer imagine#footballer x reader#ruben dias x reader#footballer fanfic#footballer fluff
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I LOVED your last Larissa fic 😩. Can I request Larissa's (vampire) wife coming to visit her in her office after she told her she's been stressed lately? Reader doesn't live on campus so the students are like ooh new student? but then they find out she's their principal's wife and they're like oop.
thank you! Ofc!
The Principal’s Wife
Larissa Weems x Vampire!Reader
Summary: You pay your wife a visit to Nevermore.
You got a call from your wife earlier that day, asking for you to come have lunch with her in her office since she wasn’t able to meet you at your favorite diner just like every Friday. She sounded exhausted so you agreed and got takeout before heading for the infamous school, black shades covering your eyes.
You noticed their looks as you walked past the gates, black heels clicking against the cobblestone, ignoring any whispers or gossip.
You stopped by an unusual-looking girl, her hair in pigtails and uniform dyed black. “Who are you?” She asked, her voice emotionless.
You grinned, “Direct, I love it” You took off your glasses since you two were inside and grinned at her. “You must be Wednesday. Your mother and I were great friends”.
She looked at you for a few seconds, head tilting before she raised an eyebrow, “you’re Y/N? My mother never shuts up about you” she looked you up and down in a judgmental stare.
You chuckled, “It’s been a long time, indeed” you put your glasses back on as one of the students opened the door, letting some sunlight creep in.
“Damn it! Anyways it was nice meeting you, Wednesday. I wanted to know where I could find the principal’s office, it's been so long I'm sure I forgot my way around here” she pointed behind you and you nodded at her, walking in that direction before a blonde girl stopped in front of you, jumping up and down.
“Hi!! I’m Enid! You must be new here” she grinned at you, clapping her hands excitedly.
“Oh, god no!” You scoffed, “I’m not a student, I’m here to see the principal” you stated before Larissa's assistant, who you've met a couple of times was aware of your arrival.
"Mrs Weems!, right this way!" you followed her before hearing the continuous gossip behind you. "Did she just say...MRS Weems?".
You walked with her assistant as you stared at the improvements that occurred under your wife's regime, it was incredible how hard Larissa worked to turn this place from a medieval tavern to a modern, technology-filled school to embrace outcasts from around the world
"Principal Weems, your wife just arrived!" her assistant announced as you got in with the plastic bag of takeout. You gave her a fangy grin, taking off your shades and hanging them on your blazer. She thanked the woman before the door was closed and your grin turned into a sympathetic smile.
“Hey, darling” she smiled weakly, leaning her head back on her chair. You placed the bag of food on her desk.
“Oh, draga” you frowned, walking behind the desk and cupping her face, leaning down to kiss her red lips softly.
You had missed her terribly. She stays on campus a few days a week, the others she stays in your shared house just a little outside Jericho, though she hasn’t done so in a while.
She hummed, leaning her head down to rest against your stomach, Your thumbs rubbing her shoulders. “What happened?” you asked when she got off of you, standing up to sit in front of her desk.
“the mayor is furious” she started, fingers on her temple as you took the food out the bag and placing it in front of her, urging her to eat. “I thought the outreach day had gone well, but of course the Addams need to leave their stamp everywhere” she unwrapped the burger angrily.
You took a blood bag out, stabbing it with a straw and shrugging as you said “it was an ugly statue anyway” she squinted her eyes at you. The only reason you even went to that stupid unveiling was that you swore on your undead heart that you’d be there for her.
“I’m sorry, it just is!” you slurped on the blood, a little trickling out of your lips. “you know you won’t kiss me after drinking that, right?” she asked rhetorically.
“I was thirsty!” You groaned, causing her to smirk. Larissa loved you endlessly, but there’s no way she’d be kissing you with fresh blood in your mouth.
After she finished eating, you requested a ‘tour’ around Nevermore, considering it’s been decades since you’ve been here. She reluctantly agreed and linked her arm with yours before opening the door, seeing students crowding outside the office.
“What are you all doing here?” She said, a hand on her hip. They all stared at you in surprise. “We wanted to meet your wife, of course” a bald, black girl stated with a smirk causing Larissa to roll her eyes.
“Everyone to class, now!” she roared and they dispersed. You let out a chuckle before the tour started.
Half an hour later, you were almost done with the tour when she took you to the greenhouse to see a red-haired woman watering plants.
“Principal Weems! Who’s this lovely lady?” She grinned, you just knew she was bad news at the way she looked at you.
“This is Y/n Weems, my wife….y/n/n, this is Marilyn Thornhill, nevermore’s first normie teacher!” Larissa proudly introduced and you shook hands with the woman, you said nothing as you saw her eye your wife with a weird expression but you stopped yourself from draining her blood right then and there.
you gave her a fake smile before Larissa sensed the tension in the air and excused the both of you.
She walked you to the gates with a frown. “What happened in there?” Her hands cupped your pale face before you squinted at her.
“Wh..what? You don’t see it? She’s weird as hell!” She shook her head.
“Never mind” You kissed her hand, “I’ll see you at home, yeah?”
She shrugged “I’ll see if I finish all the paperwork tonight”, leaning down to kiss your lips slightly, sighing in relief when she didn’t feel the aftertaste of blood before hearing cheers behind her.
She turned to look at the students with crossed arms. “You guys are so cute!!” Enid squealed before they were shooed again and you kissed her one more time before driving home.
She won’t admit it, but she’s glad her students actually cared to get to know the love of her life.
A/N: I got goosebumps when writing "Mrs Weems" please don't tell me I'm alone in this 😵💫
#larissa weems x reader#Wednesday x reader#Larissa Weems imagines#gwendoline christie#gwendoline christie x reader
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everyone but her pt.3
a/n: dont mind me, just posting at work.
EDIT: previously titled about time
Word Count: 3.0k
Warnings: mention of past injury, hints of past abuse, swearing
Pairing: Wednesday Addams x Reader
(Masterlist)
There was still an ache in your shoulder when you sat down in your phytotoxicology class. It was decently scabbed (which was beyond itchy) but the actual joint was sore. You had hoped it would ease up a bit over the weekend, but to no avail. Hopefully no one had really noticed your stiff movements. But hey, at least you were left handed.
“You look miserable,” Wednesday said as she sat to your left.
“Shut up, Addams,” you mumbled.
Enid sat behind the two of you, her eyes glued to where your hands were resting on the desk. If you just moved your hand a few inches to the left. And if you could talk just a little louder so she could hear, that would be great. She needed to know what you two were talking about. If it wasn’t about a date then she was going to scream. She just wanted you both to get over yourselves.
Class went on as usual; Enid was forced to bear witness to you doodling in Wednesday’s notebook, completely interrupting her notes. In turn, Wednesday would add rather… violent attachments to your initial drawing, and the cycle would continue. She couldn’t see your face, but your shoulders would shake with silent laughter every few doodles. You were both so close.
“Miss Y/N?”
Your head snapped up, turning toward the front where Miss Thornhill was standing with an expectant look.
“Adonis vernalis,” you said proudly without hesitation.
“Not even close,” Miss Thornhill said with a smile while everyone failed to stiffle their giggles. “See me after class.”
“Aw man,” you mumbled as you slumped back into your seat. All that pep in your step had been washed away.
Quite frankly, Enid thought it was hilarious.
She rushed to catch up with Wednesday as you stayed behind to talk to Miss Thornhill. For such a small person, Wednesday could move really fast. It was starting to become an issue because Enid was not dressed for jogging across campus. God, why couldn’t she just slow down?
“It seems it’s impossible to get away from you,” Wednesday said when Enid finally caught up; she slowed her pace anyway.
“Did you-”
“-No, and I’m not going to,” Wednesday interrupted.
“You don’t even know what I was going to say,” Enid pouted.
“You were going to ask if I have asked Y/N on a date, and the answer is no.”
“Then I give up,” Enid said as she threw her hands into the air. “You two are far too stubborn. Enjoy the friendzone.”
She stalked off, trying not to smile to herself when she noticed Wednesday had stopped walking. With any luck, her plan would work splendidly and you would both be together before Parent’s Weekend in a month. It may have taken her a little longer than planned to come up with such a genius idea, but it was going to be worth it.
—---
It was truly a beautiful day to be outside. Overcast skies, a cool breeze, potential for rain. Not the best day to fly, but a wonderful time to walk around. Maybe you could stop by the lake, tease the monsters below the surface. At least you would if you weren’t stuck in the greenhouse.
Miss Thornhill was truly, and you meant this with the utmost respect, a bitch. So maybe you didn’t pay attention in class, and maybe you got a bunch of questions wrong. But that’s what she got for calling on you in class. Had you raised your hand? Had you given any indication whatsoever that you knew the answer? No. So really, this was on her.
And now you were stuck in the stupid greenhouse having to jot down sketches of each plant, their scientific name, and what symptoms they cause if ingested or inhaled. You had only finished maybe a third of the greenhouse and it was already midafternoon. You were never going to be done with this stupid detention.
You didn’t even like plants.
“You look miserable.”
“There’s more than one way to greet a person, you know,” you said without turning around.
Wednesday slid into your peripheral like a wisp of smoke; she always moved smoothly even though she appeared so rigid. Her coat hung off her small frame, and the snood Enid had made her only accentuated that by swallowing what little of her remained. She was reminiscent of the little kids at the park in winter; their parents had bundled them up in the warmest clothing they could find in the house.
“Just let me finish my detention, Addams,” you mumbled as you jotted down another sketch. It wasn’t half bad, actually.
For better or worse, Wednesday stayed silent as you moved around the greenhouse, assigned sketchbook in hand. There was no doubt you were getting 90% of the names wrong, and you were just writing “it’s bad :(“ under the list of symptoms at this point, but you didn’t care. This kind of detention was stupid. Besides, it was a Saturday; you should’ve been out getting coffee or harrassing everyone at Pilgrim World, not sitting in a humid greenhouse practicing your art skills. But no, now you were stuck here and- oh that plant is pretty.
“Don’t touch it,” Wednesday said rather quickly as you reached out to touch the flower.
“Why not?” You asked in indignation, finally turning around to see her. Oh, she’s cute.
“It’s a foxglove,” she answered.
“Wednesday,” you sighed, “if I knew what that meant, I wouldn’t be in here on a Saturday afternoon.”
“It’s toxic to birds.” She rolled her eyes at your incompetence.
“Oh, well thank- wait.” You narrowed your eyes at her and the smallest movement at the corner of her mouth. “I’m not a bird and you know it.”
“You can never be too sure,” she said without hesitation.
“Oh, you’re a prick,” you huffed out. You had to turn back to look at the plants again so she wouldn’t see your poor attempts at not laughing. “Why are you even here?”
“I brought you this.”
She brought me something? You thought. Well know she was just getting desperate if she was going to be bringing you things. You set your sketchpad down on the table, in front of the foxglove that Wednesday claimed to be toxic to birds. What had she brought you-
“-What is that?” You asked once your eyes landed on the small bag in her hands.
“Birdseed,” she said. “It’s a bribe.”
“That better not be for me or I will get offended,” you said, switching your weight to your other foot and crossing your arms over your chest.
“You’re going birdwatching with me.” She rolled her eyes but held the bag out further for you to take from her.
“Are you asking me out on a date?” You asked.
Wednesday Addams did not blush, that was a well known fact. Not a drop of colour would be found on her cheeks, ever. But that didn’t mean she was emotionless; you could tell when the stretch of skin over her cheeks and nose turned a little darker. It was the closest to an uncontrollable show of emotion as she was ever going to get.
And you were absolutely living for it.
“Are you coming or not?” Wednesday asked, completely ignoring your question for clarification.
You wanted her to admit it was a date. Wanted her to swallow her pride and say the word “date” because it’s just what you needed. There was no way in hell you were going to ask first, not when she had always been so clear about her thoughts on what a waste of time relationships were. “Look at my parents,” she had said one night, “limited because they can’t go anywhere alone.”
But you needed her to call it a date. Your hopes were embarrassingly high and you just needed her to say that four letter word. It could only be once and you would be happy. If she called it a date once and then never again until the day you died, you would be content. Just say the word, you thought to yourself as she finally turned her head back around to face you.
“Fine,” Wednesday sighed, “I’ll go on my own.” She turned around and started walking away.
“Wait!” You called after her. She stopped, but didn’t turn around.
You looked around frantically for the rest of your things. What if Miss Thornhill showed up and realised you were gone? And worse yet, what if she realised you sucked at detention? She was going to tell Principle Weems and then you would get another scolding. But pass up on a date with the Wednesday Addams?
Shit.
“You’re a bad influence, Wednesday Addams,” you huffed once you finally caught up to her and you both started walking out of the greenhouse.
You missed the small smile on her face.
—---
For all intents and purposes, Wednesday did not like you. If anyone dared to ask, you were nothing more than a thorn in her side, and not in a good way. No, you weren’t as energetic and colourful as Enid, but you still smiled too much. You cracked too many jokes and made yourself too accomadating. Any normal person would have been embarrassed.
No, Wednesday Addams did not like you.
She did not like the way you had talked the whole way to your preferred spot in the forest. “It’s a bit late for birdwatching,” you had said on the walk over, “but it’s overcast, so it might be fine.” She did not like the way you actually took your harness off and ruffled your feathers. Or the way they puffed up a little, “because it’s cold,” you explained with a shrug and a blush on your neck. Then there was the way you were sat still as a statue, birdseed scattered around, just waiting for some birds to stop by.
No, she didn’t like you.
There were absolutely no feelings in her void of a soul when a bird finally did appear, standing directly in front of your outstretched hand. The gentle smile on your face was completely moronic. You would make an excellent side character in her book; the same character that would get herself killed off in the first chapter. Wednesday could see it now; you would be too focused at the park and would get yourself put on a hit list simply because you were an easy target.
She wouldn’t be caught dead watching your feathers ruffle when more birds appeared, flocking around you. Or listening intently to what you were saying to them, holding full conversations as they hopped around and picked at the birdseed you continuously scattered. No, she would not join you on the ground, she was just fine sitting with her back to the tree. And no she didn’t want to feed the birds, this is an outing for you, she’s just the chaperone.
Her cold, black heart did not stutter when the light caught your skin just right and illuminated the nearly-healed scrapes and bruises from your incident last week. Wednesday had always loved the colours of a bruise. The angry red reminiscent of a wound, or the healing yellow-green that was nearly the same as the colour of a waterlogged corpse. Although they didn’t look quite as stunning on you. For one odd reason or another, seeing the bruises and cuts on your skin, or the apparent stiffness of your joints brought no joy to her.
There is no way in heaven or hell that she would admit she watched you the way her father watched her mother. Watching your every move, from the rise and fall of your chest to the twitch in each individual feather. The way the veins on your forearms stood out when you lifted a bird up or the eyelash that now resided on your cheek that she so desperately wished to wipe off for you. Or that your small, airy little laugh made her feel like an arrow had impaled her heart and mind and soul, painfully tethering her to the tree she was leaning against.
No, she was not her father.
And no, she did not like you.
—---
You looked like a little kid sitting in the chair on the other side of Larissa’s desk. With a bowed head and hands folded tightly in your lap, you reminded her of the young children in normal schools who got sent to the principle’s office for something they hadn’t done. Except you very well had done what you were accused of; maybe that was why you looked so guilty.
“Miss Thornhill told me you’ve been struggling in class,” Larissa started off. “You’re struggling to focus.”
“I’m just not any good at it,” you said with a shrug. You still weren’t looking up.
“She also told me you had been given detention last Saturday,” she continued; you sunk further into the chair. “And you were nowhere to be found when she went to check on you.”
“Wow, that’s wild,” you said with a huff. “She probably needs to check that her perscriptions are up to date,” you said, tapping your finger to the corner of your eye, “might need a better one.”
“Did you skip your detention?” Larissa asked, far softer than she would be with any other student.
“I didn’t “skip” detention,” you started. “I was there until around 3, I think that was punishment enough.”
“What came along that was more important than your detention?” Larissa continued to pry.
“A date,” you said so quietly that she almost couldn’t hear you.
“A date? With whom?” She asked with a small smile and in the gentlest voice she could offer you.
To most, it would be an inappropriate question. No one wanted their principle to know all the juicy details of their personal lives. But Larissa knew you both had a… slightly different relationship. She knew you struggled, you had been a student at Nevermore for nearly eight years; she knew what damage your personal life had inflicted upon you. For eight years she had been able to provide some sort of comfort, a surrogate parent of sorts, and she was doing her best to give you that space to be a normal teenager with a normal parent.
You had talked with her about these things before, it wasn’t like she was implying something out of nowhere. Larissa had been your shoulder to cry on through all of your family woes, your frustrations, your first heartbreak. It shouldn’t have been such a surprise for her to ask, even though you had initially been sent to see her because you had evaded your justly-deserved detention.
But instead of your usual excitement, Larissa noticed a glaze cover your eyes and your arms wrap tightly around yourself. She had seen you like this multiple times; you still refused to see a therapist about it. And as much as she wanted to go to you and comfort you, previous experience had told her you needed to feel it all before coming back to the present.
“Y/N?” She asked quietly, leaning over her desk to get closer to you without invading your space.
You blinked once, slowly, a single tear falling onto your quivering bottom lip. Your tongue darted out to lick your lip before your eyes opened. The haze took its time in fading from your usually sparkly eyes, but you looked up at Larissa as it diminished. One shuddering breath in, a shaky breath out, and your body fell into a relaxed state once again.
“Wednesday Addams,” you choked out around the sobs that you were shoving back down your throat. Your eyes flickered away from her at the admission.
“What did you both go do?” Larissa asked with a smile that you definitely saw this time.
There was a hesitancy on your face; your lips were parted slightly as if you were about to speak, and your eyes shone brightly, but the slight tilt of your head gave you away. You weren’t one to outwardly share your emotions, but your body langauge always gave you away. It brought a joy to Larissa that she had never understood was possible before you had come around.
“Well, she bought some birdseed-,” you started, immediately going off about the entire date.
Larissa leaned forward, completely enthralled with your tale. The way your hands gestured this way and that, the movements eloquent in their own right. Pianist’s fingers, she recalled. The inflection in your voice a mirror of your younger self, back when you had less worries. You’re excited, she thought with a soft sigh. You haven’t been excited in years.
“-and then Miss Thornhill saw me and sent me straight here,” you finished with a huff, clearly out of breath.
“Will you go on another one?” Larissa asked after you had caught your breath slightly.
“Well, I think it’s my turn to ask next,” you shrugged; there was a sparkle in your eye. “So yes.”
“Then you’d better go prepare.” Larissa sat back in her chair and crossed her legs. “She set the bar pretty high, don’t you think?”
“Might find an autopsy she can watch,” you mused aloud as you pushed yourself off the chair. The stiffness of your injury had yet to ease, Larissa noticed as you essentially limped over to the doorway.
“Oh, Y/N,” she called out once you were halfway out the door.
“Yes ma’am?” You asked, leaning back into the office.
“You can make up your failed detention on Saturday,” she said with a smile that only got bigger as you groaned.
“This place is a fucking prison,” you grumbled as you walked away.
Larissa sat back in her chair and looked over toward the fireplace. Maybe, she thought, Addams won’t be so bad afterall.
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hiii! could u write a fic where reader and xavier are best friends and one day she notices those scratches on his neck so decides to ask him about it, but he snaps at her and they start fighting, and he says stuff he doesnt mean like he tells her that she's annoying cus she never leaves him alone blahlbah she feels bad then she leaves and after a few days they finally talk again and he apologizes and they kiss 😝
TALK | xavier thorpe x gn!reader
"y/n, please let's talk."
note: ill do you one better anon, theyre in a relationship now.
ever since wednesday addams made an appearance to the school, xavier acted strange. you for sure noticed that he has been hanging out more at the shed rather than with you, was it because of her? you were never the type to be jealous but ever since that girl enrolled this semester you couldn't shake off the feeling of how she unconsciously has a choke hold on your boyfriend.
it's been a couple days since you've visited the shed, there he was working away on a piece of art, hair tied up in a bun, eyebrows knitted together in a frown. he usually enjoys art, this was the first time you've seen him troubled. there was a unique pattern in the shed, supposedly. it appears that he has painted, sketched and created the same creature in different angles. you were beginning to think there's more to the story than wednesday herself. xavier wasn't the type to communicate unless asked to, so you did.
"what are you doing here?" his frown deepened, you hum, folding your arms. "you tell me, mr. thorpe. you haven't answered my calls, texted or even waited for me at the quad so i can walk you here." you told him, the tension rising as he puts his brush down. once he fully turns toward you, the cheep light bulb of the shed illuminates 3 small scars on his neck. you frowned, taking a step forward as you grab his chin to face another way to make the scar more exposed and visible to you. your hand falls to the side, "care to explain?" you ask him, raising an eyebrow. "look y/n, it's no big deal-"
you didn't listen to him at this point, no big deal? he wasn't even spending so much time with you, he was always chasing that interesting new student and now when you try and make things a little more clearer you find scratches on his neck. what part of a no big deal was that.
"xavier. you have been following that pigtailed magnet for trouble, i went here to talk to you about it, and see you've painted the same monster in about 13 artworks, and a scar on your fucking neck. please be honest with me and do not say that it's not a big deal. it is when you ignore your partner and run off in your tiny little shed rather than express your feelings towards me lately- hell you didn't even bother to let me walk you here." you ramble, silencing him in a heartbeat. frustration was evident in your face and xavier looks like he won't back down so fast.
"y/n, i already told you it's not serious. i'm fine. really. just-"
you scoff, the shed shivering and the groand grumbling, a sign of your anger. but you decided that there was a better time to destroy his shed, just not now. you took a deep breath and the rumbling stopped, "you wanna play this game xav? i'll beat you fucking to it." you mutter leaving the shed, slamming the wooden gate behind you, the temptation to let the earth swallow him for you was insane.
for the past few days not only you were avoiding him but also ignoring xavier's texts and calls, like what he was doing to you in the past days before. xavier huffs in frustration as he redialed your phone number for about 30 times now, he wanted to make things right, he misses you. he for sure didn't want to break your relationship just because of a stupid monster haunting his dreams. at the 34th time, you answered. he got up from his bed, "y/n? please let's talk." he mutters to the phone, knowing just how to make you surrender.
"where baby?" you answer, xavier would like to thank the heavens for your voice, he was so glad to hear you, with a sigh of relief he told you to meet him at his dorm.
once you arrived at his dorm, you knocked once and he already opens it. "y/n, i'm so so so so sorry about everything. lots of shit has been happening ever since wednesday arrived and i-i dont want that to ruin what we have." he tells you, his tone so desperate you'd think that your relationship was on thin ice and he was coming to rescue it. you wrap your arms around his shoulder and embraced him, inhaling his scent and hearing him breathe. you wouldn't admit it but you missed him too.
you pull away and you both sat down on his bed, he talks about everything. how wednesday shows up everywhere and how she was suspicious that he might be the creature rather, the- hyde. you listened to him, as the way he talks just makes you feel relieved. his eyes were darting every single corner in the room out of anxiety, so you placed a hand on his, rubbing the back of his palm with your thumb. once he finished, you smile at him. "see? it wasn't that hard was it?" you told him, caressing his cheek with your other hand. you lay down on his bed and he falls next to you, head burying into your shoulder and chest, his arms sneaking their way around your waist, "i missed you so much, i love you." xavier mumbled, you sigh in content, placing a peck on his head, "i love you too." you whisper as he cranes his neck backward to take a look at you, then your lips finally meet his, a warmth made its way in your body, feeling the most satisfactory relieg in human history.
#gn reader#xavier thorpe x reader#xu's fics#xavier thorpe x gn reader#xavier thorpe#wednesday addams netflix#xavier x you
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DISTRACTIONS II | ALONE AT MIDNIGHT
pairing: jamie tartt x f!reader (ted lasso)
rating: T
word count: 2,880
summary: jamie refuses to let you go home alone again
A/N: what could THAT mean?
distractions masterlist | previous chapter
After almost three months with the club, you and the team are now celebrating a seven game win streak.
Rebecca has somehow managed to convince a star football player called Zava to join AFC Richmond (you still weren’t sure if that was his first name or last name) and they haven’t lost a match since. While very gifted at football, you wouldn’t exactly call Zava your favorite player to work with. He was self-centered but not at all self aware. For some reason the team worshiped him but you could hardly understand why. With what you heard about how much they couldn’t stand Jamie when he used to be more selfish and stuck-up, you didn’t get why they’re putting up with Zava. Maybe it was just the thrill of back-to-back wins. They were all the happiest you’d ever seen them so you kept your thoughts to yourself.
Well almost all of them were happy. Anytime the team went out for drinks to celebrate their recent victories (even days after on a random Wednesday - any excuse for a pint, as Isaac would say) Sam convinced you to tag along. That’s how you started spending time getting to know more guys like Isaac and Colin and Dani. But even as you bonded with them, you couldn’t help but notice Jamie. You’d always find him sulking in a corner with a beer in his hand, or half heartedly making conversation with one of his teammates. You’d spoken to him a few times over the last several weeks, and while you’d talk about your weekend or share jokes about other players or even the coaches (apologies, Uncle Ted), your conversations were never lengthy or of substance. So you ignored the urge to check up on him during these nights.
You’re out again tonight - except this time it's the entire club. Coaches, staff, and all are gathered at Sam’s restaurant Ola’s for an unofficial opening celebration in honor of the team’s seventh straight win. You’re sipping champagne by the bar with Rebecca and Keeley, when they have to introduce you to Rebecca’s old friend Sassy. You’ll love her! And of course you do. Everyone you encounter here is the best person you’ve ever met. Although your ears bleed when Sassy alludes to going home with Ted later. Rebecca secretly gives you a simultaneously apologetic and amused look, to which you can only laugh through your embarrassment.
As you sip your champagne, you can’t help but look on as your work family mixes and mingles and laughs together. You try not to beam at Sam, who you’ve told you’re proud of a million times that night, as he talks to his chef friend. You look on curiously as Colin introduces a friend of his to some other members of the team. You even feel comforted when you see Roy sit down next to Jamie, hoping someone can get that boy out of whatever funk he’s in. Even Zava makes a surprise appearance but you keep from rolling your eyes.
You’ve really become comfortable here the last few months. You try to remember the last time you’ve felt this happy and content and you come up blank. You’re surrounded by people you actually like and a job that sustains you both financially and spiritually. Now if only you could write a word of fiction you were proud of, but baby steps will have to do.
You’re not a superstitious or paranoid person, but as soon as you start dwelling on how great your life is going, you know that you’ll jinx it.
And you do.
As Rebecca begins telling you and Keeley about the psychic reading she had recently, your phone buzzes in your back pocket. You figure it's a text from your dads and don’t want to miss an opportunity to connect with them even briefly, since you’ve been so busy. Instead of finding a text from your family group chat, you see an Instagram notification.
Mason_Andrews has posted for the first time in a while.
Stupid Instagram and their stupid irrelevant notifications.
You know you shouldn’t look. You’re having a great time, and you haven’t really thought about him in weeks. But you’re so curious. Besides, you really need to make the move to unfollow him and this could be the perfect opportunity to do so.
So you click the notification banner and Instagram opens to a picture of Mason- with his arms wrapped around an eerily familiar red-head.
He’d told you he barely knew the girl, as the two of you fought that night; that she didn’t mean anything to him.
Apparently she did now. They looked extra cozy, all dressed up in cocktail attire at what must have been one of Mason’s work events. My girl, the caption reads simply. Your fingers move faster than your brain as you tap the image to see the girl has been tagged. Her handle tells you her name is Chloe. You know if you start digging any further you’re going to drive yourself crazy. But if you don’t look and go on the rest of the night trying to forget about it, you’ll feel even crazier. So you decide you need to get out of there as soon as possible.
Under the guise of exhaustion, you bid your farewells to Keeley and Rebecca. You catch Ted’s eye over Sassy’s shoulder and wave. He mouths back a “get home safe”. You don’t even try to get Beard’s attention with his girlfriend Jane in his lap. Roy gives you a nod and you briefly make eye contact with Jamie as Keeley’s friend and coworker Shandy talks off his ear, giving him a small smile as you head to the front. You let Sam know you’re calling it a night, and he begs you to stay for a little while longer, but you just hug him tighter and promise to be his first customer when Ola’s officially opens. He flashes his contagious, thousand-watt smile and you almost feel better, accepting the green matchbook as a keepsake that you know you’ll never part with.
Leaning against the brick of the restaurant, you mean to call an Uber, but end up giving in and immediately start cyber-stalking Chloe. You’re nearly a full year down her Instagram grid when the door jingles beside you, causing you to jump.
“Jesus Christ,” you mutter, palming your chest to calm your rising heart rate.
“Didn’t know you were so religious,” Jamie snickers from beside you, seemingly a bit more upbeat than he was earlier in the evening.
You snort, relaxing a bit, “Says the guy with the cross earring.”
He smirks, “It's a fashion statement, ever heard of it?”
“My sincerest apologies,” You hold your hands up playfully in surrender, “I’m surprised you're alone.”
He raises his eyebrow. “Why?”
“Well it seems if Shandy had her way, you’d be leaving with her.”
Jamie takes a deep breath, “Shandy is…a lot. I think she wanted to take a bite out of me.”
You laugh at the pained expression on his face, “What, you’re not into that sort of thing?”
He gets a mischievous glint in his eye and you know you’re going to regret having said that, “Well, I’m usually the one doing the biting.”
“My God,” you groan, closing your eyes.
“There you go with the religious expletives,” he tsks, “You know you shouldn’t use the lord’s name in vain.”
“I will try to do better.”
Your breathy laughs die out together.
“So, what about you?” Jamie asks.
“What about me?”
“Don’t tell me you’re walking home alone again from here.”
You’re reminded of what you were supposed to be doing. “Oh, no, I was actually about to order an Uber.”
“Fuck that. My car is down the block, let me drive you.”
“Jamie, you don’t have to do that.”
“I’m not letting you waste your money when I have a perfectly good car and empty passenger seat. Let’s go.”
He doesn’t give you another second to consider when he’s already rounding the corner of the restaurant.
Moments later you’re putting your address into Jamie’s phone from his passenger seat, and you appreciate that he only made fun of you a little for almost getting in the driver's side. (“Hey, if you want to take a shot at driving on the correct side of the road, be my guest.” “Listen, It doesn’t make sense that everything is on the other side!”) You’ve been driving for a few minutes with only the soft sound of the radio playing when you finally let yourself ask.
“So, why the long face all night?” you inquire, “I don’t know much about non-American football, or American football for that matter, but I thought winning several games in a row was supposed to be a good thing.”
Jamie shakes his head, “It is.”
“Thank you for clarifying,” you smile slightly, “But?”
“But,” he sighs, “I don’t love how we did it.”
“What do you mean?”
“It's this whole Zava thing,” he admits, not taking his eyes off the road as you watch him, “Everyone is acting like he’s some God, and sure, he’s a great player, but we…stopped playing as a team. I liked it better that way. Now it's the Zava show.”
You nod, “I get what you mean. I don’t get the hype about Zava either.”
He glances at you for a brief second before focusing on the road again. “You don’t?”
“Yeah, he’s all words and no substance. He says things but it doesn’t mean anything. It's irritating. Honestly, when he walked into Sam’s I had to force myself not to leave immediately.”
He laughs with you, “I feel like you’re the only other person who see’s through his shit.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t really have patience for self-centered jerks. Even if they’re good at kicking a ball around or whatever.”
Jamie’s smile falters a bit. “You know I used to be a lot like him.”
You bite back a laugh, “No way.”
Your sarcasm takes him by surprise. “I thought you weren’t into football?”
“Football? No,” you admit slowly, “One of my old coworkers, though, had an affinity for British dating shows…”
You swear you see a bit of color drain from his face under the glow of the street lights, “Ah shit.”
You can’t help but giggle, “Yeahhh, I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry? You’re the one who suffered through watching that crap.”
You can’t help but join when a laugh breaks through his words.
“It wasn’t that bad.”
“That bad? I was a total prick.”
“Oh yeah you were a douchebag, but it made great TV.”
He can’t help but laugh with you despite himself. “Yeah, I guess.”
“But you don’t seem like that guy anymore,” you reassure, “I don’t think the guy who broke Amy’s heart would offer to drive a girl you barely know home.”
“I’m trying not to be,” he muses softly. “But you’re right about one thing. I barely know you and you’ve probably seen more of me than either of us would like to admit.”
You chuckle, feeling your face get hot. “'You saying you want to play 20 questions or something?”
“How about one? That being, why the hell did you come to Richmond?” he glances at you again as you suddenly find your hands more interesting than the boy beside you, “Sam says you had some fancy job back in America and now you’re basically a football club owner’s secretary.”
“We prefer the term personal assistant.”
He rolls his eyes, “So what? Were you that desperate to learn about ‘non-American football’ or what?”
You take a long, deep breath. “You want the honest answer?”
Jamie shrugs like it's obvious.
“I told my family I needed a change of scenery, but it was because of a guy. Pathetic right? Making a life changing decision because some guy broke my heart. But the truth is I’d been making a lot of my decisions because of him while we were together. Where to live. What friends to hang out with. I had my old job because he thought it would be a good fit for me even though it wasn’t what I really wanted to do. So, after we…broke up, I realized I didn’t really know who I was because my whole life was built around him and us. So, I knew I had to get the hell out of Chicago, panicked, quit my job, and…here I am; just trying to get a change of scenery and figure out who the hell I am.”
You never admitted that to anyone. No one around you ever saw how controlling he was over your life. You knew your family would have called you out about it, but they never got the chance to spend much time with him. He insisted you spend holidays with his family and you went along with it. And when you visited yours, you went alone. You didn’t realize it at the time, but subconsciously you weren’t very proud of your relationship with him. You were blinded by the attention he gave you, all the while molding you into his definition of a perfect girlfriend. Until apparently you weren’t.
You eventually glanced back over at Jamie, and despite paying attention to the road in front of him, you could tell he was listening attentively.
“Damn, so once you finally saw how bad he was, you dumped him and left?”
You laugh humorously, “No, I dumped him after I caught him cheating on me.” That was also the first time you told someone willingly.
“Jesus Christ.”
“Now who’s using the lord’s name in vain?”
“He sounds fucking awful. Glad you’re rid of him.”
“If only I’d come to my senses sooner.”
He shakes his head, “Don’t blame yourself when he’s the prick.”
You digest the sentiment as his car slows to a stop and you realize you’ve made it to your apartment.
He angles his body towards you, “Seriously, I’m sorry that happened to you. No one…no one deserves that.”
Meeting his eyes, you get the sense that there’s more meaning behind his words that you don’t understand. Still you smile slightly. “Thank you, Jamie.”
He presses his lips together in a thin smile as well.
You unbuckle your seatbelt as you continue, “Well, here’s hoping that quitting my job and moving halfway across the world actually does the trick and lets me move on, or else I might be a little crazy.”
Jamie chuckles and you feel the energy shift back to lighthearted, “Well, you know what they say, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”
“Jesus Chr-” you stop as he raises his eyebrows playfully, and you start to smile. Not only do you let yourself laugh at his cheeky joke, you let yourself consider his words. Casual dating let alone sex wasn’t really your thing, but maybe it could help. At the very least it would be a well deserved distraction. You briefly consider trying out the Bantr app but you loathed online dating. And here you were with a perfectly eligible bachelor mere inches away from you.
No. No. You couldn’t hook up with Jamie Tartt.
He was a notorious playboy. And while you could now attest he wasn’t as bad as his on-screen persona made him look, you knew he still wasn’t a relationship guy.
But that’s not what this would be.
Maybe he would be the perfect guy to distract you for one night. He instantly made you forget about Mason earlier until he became the topic of conversation. And he was very pretty.
Before you can second guess anymore, you push yourself towards him and press your lips against his. If Jamie’s surprised by your actions, it doesn’t last long. He quickly unbuckles his own seatbelt, so he can bring the two of you closer together, his hands squeezing your waist, as yours cup around his face. You kiss frantically for a few more moments, sneaking in breaths where you can, before you’re pulling away slightly. Your noses are brushing against one another as you blink up at him, “Do you want to come inside?”
He doesn’t bother answering, letting out shaky breaths as he nods, bumping his forehead against yours lightly. You smile into another kiss and Jamie doesn’t break away as he starts reaching to unlock the car doors, eager to get into your apartment but a little less eager to part from you. Reluctantly you separate again so you both can fumble out of the car and up the stairs of your building. You feel his breath on your neck as you hurriedly unlock your front door. He gently leads you inside, only to shut the door and push you against it, picking up where he left off. His hands make their way down your body to your thighs, and without having to be asked, you're jumping up to wrap your legs around his waist. You mumble directions to your bedroom against his lips and before you know it, he’s lying you down across your bed. As his lips leave a trail down your neck and to your chest, you don’t even remember Mason’s name. Your mind is just clouded by Jamie, Jamie, Jamie.
A/N: let me know what you think y’all!!! also taking this opportunity to let everyone know i’m not comfortable writing smut or things like that, but will obviously allude to this like this. hope everyone understands! ❤️
#jamie tartt x reader#jamie tartt fanfiction#jamie tartt imagine#jamie tartt x f!reader#jamie tartt x female reader#ted lasso fanfiction#ted lasso fanfic#distractions series#mine
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So long - pt. 2 𒂭
part 2 of 3
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𖦹 tags: james hetfield x reader, fluff, smut, best friends to lovers, bet, 80s james, a little angst if you squint
♱ a/n: here's part 2 just like i promised! Also... this got too long again and I had to split once more, I'm sorry. Next part will be the last hopefully! I'll probably only be able to post it on wednesday or thursday tho, but we'll see how things go! Thanks to everyone that has been reading and liking my story, it truly made me happy!
𖦹 part 1 𖦹 part 2 𖦹 part 3
Both of you entered the bar already chatting excitedly, just as you imagined, whatever disagreement that came between you two couldn't last long. You and James' friendship went way back.
"Let's get you a drink." James' playful smile made you smile involuntarily back.
He ordered two beers and raised his glass after you two settled down on a table near the wall, on a spot where the soft yellow light shined right on James' blonde locks.
"To making up!" He said, the smile never leaving his lips.
"If you say so." You shrugged, raising your glass too, but there wasn't any hint of resentment in your voice.
"I really am sorry about what I've said to you earlier. I never wanted to hurt you." He repeated his apology sincerely.
You shrugged again in response, not wanting to make a big deal out of it again.
"What has gotten into you anyway?" You asked genuinely curious before taking a sip.
"I don't really know." He admitted and you could sense some embarrassment coming from him. "I guess my emotions were all over the place and I took all on you. I truly hope you can forgive me."
You just nodded in response, you could easily understand his side.
Soon one beer became two, then three… and before you could realize it, both were a bit too drunk, laughing obnoxiously loud at each other's stupid jokes.
At a certain moment, while James were rambling about his new guitar, your mind wandered as you studied his features under the soft light. The unruly blond hair now gained a different shine, the blue eyes seemed more vivid, and the skin covered by acne suddenly got a different charm to it.
You've known him for years, but, for some reason, the realization that he had grown into a man only hit you now. It's not like you haven't noticed his changes at all, you could admit the boy you knew had gained the charms of a man a long time ago, however, something at that bar made it all become more evident. Maybe it was the alcohol speaking. Regardless, you just stayed silent, lost in your thoughts.
"What are you thinking about?" James' voice cut through your mind, his eyebrow quirked in confusion. "You're looking at me like I have two heads or something." He added, a chuckle coming out of his lips.
You snapped out of it as soon as you heard him, your cheeks heating up in response to his question.
"What?" You laughed nervously "Sorry, just got lost in my thoughts for a moment, go on."
James grinned, finding your flustered expression too amusing to let it go.
"I must really put you in a state to make you blush like that." He took another sip of his beer and kept grinning at you. "What were you thinking about before? I'm curious now."
You tried your best to appear bored and rested your elbow on the table, putting your chin on top of your hand.
"Nothing. Just… Work."
He studied your face and the playful expression he had before turned into a smirk.
"You're hiding something." He teased. "You're a terrible liar."
You rolled your eyes, pretending to be offended by his observation.
"I'm not!" You shot back. "I said it's nothing. You're too curious for your own good."
"Come on, tell me." He nudged your shoulder. "It's not fair if you keep it a secret."
"Not fair? What? Don't you have any secrets?" You scoffed.
"Of course I do. But your secrets are much more interesting to me right now than my own." He leaned closer and raised an eyebrow, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "So spill it. What were you really thinking about? Was it a boy?"
You looked at him incredulous, just wishing he would drop the subject.
"You can't be serious." You looked with concern in your expression at him and he laughed in response.
"Oh, I'm being serious. You were blushing so hard, so it must be a boy." He grinned, crossing his arms. It was clear that he was enjoying messing up with you. "So come on, spill it. Is it someone I know? Do you want me to hook you up?"
"No! What? You're crazy." You couldn't believe he thought you wanted him to hook you up with somebody.
"I know you're thinking about someone, just tell me already. Who's the lucky guy?" He pressed again.
"There's... No one!" You were starting to get frustrated.
"Oh, please. You can't fool me, I know you. You were obviously daydreaming about someone." He raised an eyebrow again and you had to take a deep breath in order to control yourself. "Is it one of the guys? Lars maybe? Or... Is it Kirk? I know you two are very close. You got a thing for him?" His voice dripped with amusement, it was clear he was enjoying teasing you.
"What?!" You opened your mouth in shock as he started pointing names. "I've never...! I never liked Kirk! Where did this come from?!"
"I can see the way you look at him sometimes." He chuckled, it seemed like he was testing you. "If it's not him, then who is it? I won't leave you alone until you tell me."
"Kirk is like a brother to me!" You said offended, your cheeks getting hot once again.
"You're protesting a little too much. I know you're hiding something from me." He studied your blushed face in silence for a second "Well, whoever he is, we can play matchmaker and set you up on a date." He batted his eyelashes dramatically at you and laughed.
"Why are you so invested in being my wingman? Who says I need one?"
You were getting tired of this talk. One second of distraction staring too much at him and now you had to deal with James playing guess by himself. He already loved getting on your nerves, but whenever he got drunk that would get worse.
"You've been single for almost a year now." He grinned. "I just want to help you find someone to share your life with."
You couldn't believe he decided to throw that on your face. Ouch. You sighed and looked around the bar for a second, trying to find a good response.
"Why don't you worry about your own love life?"
He chuckled again, shrugging off your comment.
"You know I don't do long-term relationships." He said casually. "I'm more of a one-night-stand kind of guy." He winked and that irritated you.
You looked down at your hands, trying to navigate your feelings. For some reason, hearing that he had been sleeping with other girls made you feel jealous. You tried your best to not seem affected, but James noticed the shift in your reaction.
"What's wrong with one-night stands?" He asked, his tone playful.
"I just think it's gross." You cursed yourself mentally for your childish response.
"C'mon... You're such a prude." He rolled his eyes and teased you, nudging at your arm. "One-night stands aren't gross, they're just casual fun. You should try it sometime, it might loosen you up a bit." There was that smug grin again that made you heated.
"I don't need to loosen up, I'm fine the way I am." You tried defending yourself. "And also, I'm not a prude."
"Sure, keep telling yourself this." He shrugged, that grin only growing wider at your frustration. "But deep down, you're just a boring goody-two-shoes who wouldn't know how to have a good time if your life depended on it." He continued. "Bet you've never even been on a proper date before."
You scoffed. Yeah, he made a habit of teasing you and yes, that would worsen whenever he drunk, but tonight he seemed even more invested in driving you nuts. "Is it just the alcohol?" You asked yourself.
"Of course I have!" You crossed your arms. "I can have fun just fine. I just think the girls you hook up with are gross."
You tried attacking him, but it was clear that your response only amused him even more.
"Gross, huh? Interesting choice of words." He leaned closer once again. "Does that mean you think I'm gross too? For hooking up with random girls?" He waited for your response, staring at you.
"I've never said that." You regretted mentioning his hookups and sighed.
"I know you're judgmental of my dating life." He leaned back and shrugged. "You're probably just jealous that I'm getting some action and you're not." He smiled triumphantly.
"Who says I'm not getting some action?" You tried your best to sound convincing but your attempt only made him laugh.
"Oh, really? With whom exactly? A pillow? A stuffed animal?" You blushed and he caught your reaction. "I knew it. You don't have anyone. Which is why you're so sour and uptight because you're not getting laid." He taunted.
"You're such an ass." You looked away and rolled your eyes. "It's none of your business, maybe? Just leave my love life alone, please." At this point, you had given up winning this conversation.
"Alright, alright. I'll leave your non-existent love life alone." He raised both of his hands in surrender. "But if you need some advice on how to get laid, come to me. I'm something of an expert, y'know?" He winked playfully.
"Like I would take your advice." You laughed sarcastically, seeing the perfect chance to annoy him back. "Bet you don't how to please girls at all." You added, certain that this would drive him crazy.
In response, he just smiled and shook his head. A different reaction that you were expecting.
"Oh yeah? You think I can't satisfy a girl?" He said confidently and leaned closer to you once again. "In fact, I bet I could satisfy you better than any other guy you've ever been with."
You stopped in your tracks, wondering if you heard him right. "He's just trying to get a reaction of me." You thought to tranquilize yourself.
"No way. Bet you take like... One minute." You decided just to keep teasing, trying to give him hell back for being so annoying.
"You think I'm that bad?" He raised an eyebrow with a smile on his lips. He then went silent for a second and something in his expression changed. "How about we make a bet then? If I can't please you better than anyone you've ever been with before, I'll do the dishes at your house for a week. But... If I do a good job, you have to take me out on a date."
"What?" Your mind went blank with shock and you felt a wave of heat from the embarrassment go through your entire body. Everything was all fun and games until now, but now you were just dumbfounded.
James noticed the shock in your expression and bit his lip, realizing he may have overstepped, but it was too late to take back now.
"Just hear me out. It'll be fun, it's just a harmless bet." He said quickly. "We are friends, right? What's wrong with having some fun?" He tried.
You couldn't even look straight at him now. It's true that you've been getting more and more attracted to him, but since you were best friends, you never expected this kind of proposal to come from him. Was it the alcohol? Was he just trying to prove a point? Your thoughts ran a 100 mph, trying to decide what should you do.
"I..." You started, then shook your head in an attempt to clear your mind. "Fine, it's a bet."
#innxrvision's writings#metallica x reader#metallica fanfiction#james hetfield#james hetfield imagine#metallica imagines#james hetfield smut#metallica smut#james hetfield x reader#metallica headcanons#metallica fluff#80sjames#james hetfield fanfiction#james hetfield x you
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