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#and this bad choice got him killed
thatswhatsushesaid · 11 months
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Why didn't Su She just grab JGY and teleport out of the temple? Was his cultivation level really low? Did he need a recharge??
it's funny you should send me this ask, anon, since it does form the basic premise of a fic I am working on (kind of).
sms's cultivation level and martial arts skills are quite good! before uncovering his identity as the mystery swordsman responsible for absconding with xue yang's body and, presumably, the stygian tiger tally, wwx is impressed by his techniques and capabilities. during the second siege of the burial mounds, sms is the one who leads his moling su disciples in performing the altered song of vanquishing to seal the spiritual energies of everyone else present at the siege--and, once he is found out, he makes use of a teleportation talisman to escape (abandoning his own disciples in the process after tricking them--not a good look, minshan). he's using these talents towards a terrible purpose in this moment, of course, but this speaks to someone who does have a strong cultivation base; his own guqin isn't named in the text, but it is described as a first class spiritual tool comparable to lan wangji's. just because he isn't lan wangji, lan xichen or nie mingjue doesn't mean he isn't a strong cultivator! he's just not a cultivation prodigy.
(though, as an aside, it takes a different kind of gumption and courage to go from being exiled from your sect and branded a coward, to establishing your own sect in mdzs's jianghu.)
so, bearing in mind that he did just exert a considerable amount of that energy during the second burial mounds siege, I do think he was 'running low,' as it were, and didn't have much left in the tank. that said, I do think it's possible that minshan could have made use of a teleportation talisman for both himself and jgy, just because of how much spiritual power he pours into nanping [edit: not nanping!! i forgot that lwj already shattered nanping earlier in the confrontation. so this is a different sword, but i think my point still stands] in his final attack on nmj moments before his death. I am glad that this moment was included in the donghua and very sad it was changed in cql:
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(highlighting that short paragraph up top just to indicate the short-sightedness of huaisang's revenge vision quest here. nmj's fierce corpse is a danger to everyone in this confrontation, not just jgy; moments earlier, he'd not only lunged towards both jin ling and jiang cheng, but even towards lan xichen and huaisang himself.)
I love this paragraph; I love that in this moment, minshan's martial prowess and his strong cultivation base get to shine, because he is a character who has gone through the entire novel belittled and mocked and denigrated by everyone around him because of his cowardice, his inconsistent control over his spiritual abilities, and his decades-long grudge against the gusu lan (and lan wangji specifically). all of that remains true, and in this moment, he is incandescent and capable and putting every scrap of remaining power that he has into this attempt to strike down nmj and protect jgy. it's beautifully and vividly written and demonstrates just how unwavering his devotion is to the only person in the text to consistently treat him with respect and dignity.
that said--
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the moment of his death unfortunately encapsulates his achilles' heel, both as a character and as a cultivator, imo. minshan's problem isn't that he has a weak spiritual core and weak martial arts: it's that he is impulsive and prone to extremely poor judgment in the heat of the moment (case in point: he curses jin zixun for the unforgivable crime of... wounding his pride. I mean, I too think jzn is a cunt, but like, come on minshan). he pours so much dazzling spiritual power into his sword that it shatters, rendering him defenceless in the face of nmj's attack.
imo this is a pivotal moment in the final confrontation in the guanyin temple where both sms and jgy could have escaped exactly as you suggest, anon. if sms has enough spiritual power remaining to accidentally shatter his sword, he probably has enough spiritual power to activate a teleportation talisman (either while nmj is still staring at the empty coffin or after forcing him back with that initial sword thrust) and escape through it with jgy in tow. but he didn't, because that isn't the judgment call he made in the moment.
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3lostyears · 4 months
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i adore how protective nine is of rose but i also think what is regarded a lot of the time as ten not caring about or valuing rose in the same way is him having more faith in her. it’s kind of like when people complain about rose not challenging ten the way she did nine when they’re just much more on the same page in s2 because they know each other better, so she doesn’t really need to.
in theory, ten could have yelled at rose in the idiot’s lantern for not waiting for him when she confronted magpie. but he doesn’t, he loses his mind trying to save her (VERY nine) and also acknowledges that her observation was spot on. the whole “domestic approach” line gets attention but i have never really interpreted his intention as being to insult her; in some ways, i feel her reaction is a holdover from nine, who did put down the idea of domesticity (and also actively manipulated her into leaving her mum in world war 3 which never really gets mentioned).
and of course, rise of the cybermen is a parallel to father’s day. the doctor starts out harshly talking to her the way he did when he was nine, forbidding her to see her father, but then he gives in when she just looks at him. which is exactly what he does that in father’s day too of course.
like, why do you think she refuses to be sent away in doomsday, another direct parallel to parting of the ways? she’s saying she’s not a kid anymore, that she already made her way back to him once before. she can’t be protected from the hard choices anymore and she won’t be, because she understands everything that it means to be the doctor’s companion. you never see it on-screen but clearly sometime between tooth & claw and doomsday she asks about what happened before he regenerated; she has to learn that she is the bad wolf, especially when she is to continue her journey of turning into nine in s4 and making hard choices. ten wouldn’t have known that, but it’s a mark of the respect and faith (he believes! in her!) that he stops protecting her from the truth.
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bonefall · 9 months
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what’s Bright Storm like? Since she didn’t get fridged like every woman in the original dotc series
She was always curious and dependable. Bright Storm's the kind of gal who would give you the shirt off her back if she wore a shirt to give you!
Long before they set off on the Sun Trail, she would occasionally confide in Clear Sky how much she wanted to see the world. Travelers aren't unheard of; this was before the Tribe split into its 3 separate Wards and welcomed a lot of comers and goers, but it's not that no one had ever left before. It was more that she had friends and family she was committed to.
Clear Sky pressured her into it, reminding her of how much they'd see, how they'd raise their kits somewhere new, and that he'd be sad and alone forever if she didn't come. Every chance he got, he was bringing it up. He was always her weakness, she hated letting him down.
Her dependability was based on how good of a listener she was, even Gray Wing the Wise appreciated it. She was always keeping an eye out for people's wants and needs, making connections between little 'tips' she'd heard from one source or another. After Gray Wing's death, she found herself in demand for this ability.
She couldn't make a plan quite AS good as xem, but she was better at making a plan into a 'group project.' She'd brainstorm and encourage everyone to join in, putting their brains together until it all fell into place. She could be good at delegating authority based on it, too, though Tall Shadow had much more confidence than her.
And really it's her confidence that holds her back, and can you blame her?
She tried to keep Jagged Peak alive for a moon, but barely caught enough for herself, let alone him AND her unborn kittens. But how could she go back to the camp and just pretend he wasn't out here, dying?
When she goes shuffling back with her son in tow, it was humiliating, it was heartbreaking. It became soulcrushing when Clear Sky rejected her again. With just a few words, she doubted everything.
...was she capable of knowing if she was interpreting this sign correctly? ...had she done the right thing, or did she just make everything complicated? ...he's right, it must be her fault the other two died, if she hadn't--
Tall Shadow interrupted this thought spiral, but Clear Sky is like an infection in her mind. She'd tell you, in a moment of shame many years later,
"I wasn't strong enough to beat him. No no honey, I mean it like the truth. Clea-- Skystar now, he's powerful if nothing else, and he makes you believe it too. It's a special sort of person who can say no to that. I said a lot of his words before I even realized I still had his tongue in my mouth."
Bright doesn't realize how smart she is, because she's so smart she realizes how little she knows. And that can make her doubt herself. She's genuine and caring, but susceptible to more self-assured people making her doubt her own judgement.
But there's no one else Thunder Storm would rather have in his corner, that's for sure.
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phoenix--flying · 1 month
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"Percy did nothing wrong" he blew up a 12 year old
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libidinous-weeb · 4 months
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oh waaaaah jjk sucks because my fave died!! okay then go back to children’s shows or something where no one ever dies at all.
since the beginning of the series it was established that being a sorcerer was incredibly dangerous and ended with most sorcerers having short lives. it’s one of the first things discussed by the characters.
it’s a dark series and that means people will die. “people dying = bad and predictable writing!!!” it’s a fantasy series and you aren’t the one fucking writing it. it’s not even complete and you don’t actually even know who’s dead or not or who will actually stay dead. they haven’t even fully revealed what yuuji’s team’s plan is yet.
like…if you don’t like that then take your ass back to bnha or grow tf up.
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johntorrington · 11 months
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idk how much pop cultural influence persuasion (1995) still has but the fact that the terror got the guy who played captain wentworth to be sir john franklin is making me unwell. they get it.
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diluc33rpm · 3 months
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the romance/relationship system in bg3 is genuinely some of the worst designed shit i've ever seen in any game with that feature but at least the memes we get out of it are funny. once saw someone comment something along the lines of 'patch note: waving at gale will no longer cause him to buy a house for the two of you to retire in' and i've never recovered since
#i love gale he doesn't deserve (most of) the incel slander#but it's painfully such a good riff because it really really does feel like that#the player choices being a b/w alternation between 'hey there' and 'YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF... NOW!' normally is already comical as is#the fact that it carries over into interactions with the party members who you're presumably trying to be close with is... something else#and what makes it worse is it ISN'T jokey hyperbole. anyone remember 'send a mental image of you kissing him or HIS HEAD ON A PIKE.' c'mon#trying to chat and vibe at the refugee camp celebration and the sum of conversation i get is one (1) line asking how they're doing#because going any further than that elicits marking you down for the path of boning take it or leave it#it's genuinely so hard to get to feel like you can deepen a relationship with the characters in ways that aren't trying to pursue them#yes! halsin! i really want to know you better! i just don't want the ass!! why is trying to hit the only option other than up and leaving!!#99% of the time i expect nothing from media creators in terms of writing interactive relationships#larian are beyond parody in that they've somehow managed to do worse than the already suboptimal majority#we're just going to impose the roadblock of do you want to fuck y/n right off the bat. good luck finding a way to talk around that if not#the obscuration surrounding where exactly the checks are really does not help at all either#when the shit's got even the allos complaining about it you know it's BAD#shame because i was excited for character scenes given that's a lot of what's hyped up about the game#but no it's all just the romances. 'what if i'd like to breathe in someone's general direction-' well now have you heard of our romances?#fish fear them party members fear them and tav is going to have to walk alone on this sinful earth#conservative bigoted relative at the family reunion withers era was a fucking time before they tweaked that line speaking of#just so crazy they can get away with this shit#baldur's gate 3#bg3 liveblog
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notthestarwar · 1 year
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Snippet from: When is a monster not a monster? Oh, when you love it. Chapter 5
Ghost Mace speaks to past Jaster (alive) and tells him what he knows of Jango's future, in the life he lived.
Mace's brow stiffened. "When we realised what we had done, we tried to find him but we could not."
"We tried to find the True Mandolorian's but the survivors had fled in all directions. We did try and see justice done, there was an overhaul of our internal mission preparation process. We changed our training. Dooku left the order as did his apprentice."
"None of it could make up for what we did. Years after the fact, I learnt that Jango was sold in to slavery by the governor. It took him years to escape. I learnt of the weight of what we had done in helping end the True Mandolorian's. In leaving Death Watch unchecked."
He meets Jaster's eyes. "We are here to discuss why we haunt Jango, but it would be remiss of me to not tell you that your son has haunted me every single day since the day I left on a mission to retrieve him; to attempt to offer reparations for what my peoples neglect brought down on him, and came home empty handed."
" We thought him dead, but I did not forget him. From that day, I've carried the weight of what we did to him. I have often thought of him over the years." Mace shook his head.
"You hold no blame here, but we just might."
And isn't that a thing. His son haunting a Jedi even before that Jedi might haunt him.
Jango is tangled up in something here far beyond Jaster's reckoning.
Mace is laying out the constituent parts that when put together, make Jango in to the man that is responsible for the death of every single person standing in that warehouse. Jaster isn't sure where that leaves him, because once he's done hearing this story, in the years that lay ahead of them yet, every single one of these horrible pieces is going to fall in to place. Tragedy after Tragedy ready to be pasted and slapped on to the boy he loves, his son, in order to make him in to the man that did this.
How the hell can Jaster stand by and let that happen?
There are no rules that apply to Jaster, not anymore. He doesn't care about morality or the ethics of fucking with a future that's apparently already happened. He has no care for his own code, not now. None of it matters.
Jaster is Jango's buir, before all else. He has been from the day he stepped in to a smoldering farmhouse and against the odds saw signs of life dancing across his HUD. The Ka'ra gave him Jango and by god, it can stand back while he brings his son back from the abyss.
Mace is watching him. "Jaster, you had no hand in making Jango Fett the man he became at the end. You did not abandon him, you were taken from him. I need you to know this. You should know that none of this was your fault. "
Jaster doesn't care. It doesn't matter if its his fault or not, he is responsible all the same; because he wants to be. He didn't fall in to parenthood, he walked in to it willingly. For Jango, there is no monster that Jaster will not face.
The ka'ra has given him one last gift. The opportunity to see Jango's life after Jaster, and a few precious years in which to try and change them. It may not be in Jaster's power to save his son from himself but by god, he'll die trying.
He looks at the Jedi.  "Tell me the rest."
Some of my thoughts below the cut
Some of my thoughts (because clearly rambling in the comments hasn't been enough for me lol)
I had a lot of fun with this one. I've written about ghosts before but with this one, I went at it from another angle. In this au, ghosts aren't bound by linear time. If you do something that leaves a ghost tied to your soul, they are tied to you in the past as well as the future. Jango and Jaster are both Force Sensitive (tho with a Mando understanding of it. They call it 'star touched') and so can see ghosts.
In this fic, moving in with Jaster sets Jango on the path that brings him to the prequels. Once he's on that path, the ghosts that'll be tied to him in his future, can move freely along the timeline, with each of them pulled to a particular version of Jango. Jango will obviously be responsible for the deaths of quite a few people, there are his bounties, the Jedi and the clones and so on; but when the first ghost appears he's just a kid. The story deals with Jaster coming to terms with the fact that his kid, who he loves beyond reason, even if he stumbled upon him quite by accident, one day becomes the person that will make all these ghosts.
At first there's only one ghost in their time, but Jaster can't let it go (tho he knows he should), he needs to know what happens. So he keeps asking until she admits that she isn't the only ghost and that they are tied to Jango as he's responsible for their deaths. Then, he keeps pushing until she introduces him to the others. She gathers them in a warehouse (so Jango doesn't see) and takes Jaster there.
In the part of the story this snippet is from, Jaster has just been confronted with an excessive number of people (including children) who are all tied to Jango as he's responsible for their deaths. He's had a (understandable) freak out, and ghost Mace has taken him aside and offered to tell him what he knows of Jango's future, and how it led to the death of so many people.
What follows is a buddy up adventure between Mace and Jaster (unlikely duo) in which Jaster tries to come to terms with what Mace has told him, and the horrible events that led to Jango becoming the man that would one day be responsible for all these ghosts. While he tries to save Jango from himself, long before he needs saving.
The idea behind the fic is the inevitability of a tragedy. There's a feeling when you're watching a tragedy play out, that it's all so unnecessary, that it didn't need to happen, but you only know that because as the audience you know that they are in a tragedy, the characters don't know. So what if a character did know? Jaster is served advance notice, will having that allow him to save Jango, or will it just feed in to the fulfillment of this prophetic future?
I wanted to explore the fact that there's only so much one particular character can do, in trying to prevent the end another is headed towards and also, the power of familial love, even when it's found somewhere unexpected. Jaster isn't Jango's blood family, he didn't even know him till he was an older child, which I think makes his love for Jango in spite of knowing what he will become, all the more powerful. The glimpse of Jango's future is disgusting to Jaster, it goes against all he believes in, but its Jango so he can't hate him for it, he loves him too much and so, he's determined to save him from himself. He's willing to do the impossible.
Then there's Mace: so in this au, Mace is sent out shortly after Galidraan, when it becomes clear to the order that they've made a mistake, to find the survivor they left in the hands of the Governor, and to right a wrong. He isn't successful, he looks everywhere but he can't find him, and in the end the order write him off as dead. In this au, Jango was 18 on Galidraan and what Mace sees as his failure to save someone that was little more as a child, and suffered so greatly thanks to what the order see as their own neglect, haunts him for the rest of his career.
Its that idea of 'the one case you couldn't close'. It's at the start of his career and he goes on to do amazing things, Mace is peak Jedi, he invents a new form, he's one of the youngest Jedi to be elected to the council, he ends up heading that council, but he is still human (or near human lol sw complicates everything. he's 100% human in a fallible/emotional/sapient sense) I think that as a Master Jedi he's very aware of his own weaknesses, and he tries to work through it, he talks to it with other Jedi, and he certainly doesn't let it affect his judgement, but he can't forget it all the same.
So it's this version of Mace that ended up meeting Jango in the arena. Which I think adds such an interesting angle.
#Jaster Mereel#Mace#I've been thinking about this one (and a part of chapter 7 which i might post as another snippet)#cause i saw a poll talking about who was responsible for Jango's death and I've got a lot of opinions about that#that can not be contained by a poll lol. it's something i explored in this fic#pretty much. i think that Mace had no choice but i don't think he'd agree with that. i think he'd struggle with having killed Jango and#how he killed him. (decapitation. a particularly violent move. which i don't think he had a choice in. but yeah think he'd struggle)#i think that Jango pretty much ensured his own end and was too intelligent to not realise he was doing that so i think that was a#self hatred/survivors guilt/'i have lived past my end' kind of thing#i also think that Jango was only the person that always would have brought death upon himself like that because his past made him so#and i think his past was bad enough to make him that because it suited the greater narrative to have him end up like that#it suited palps ends pretty much. did palps know he was doing that or did the universe just work in his favour? who knows.#still worked out well for him#the poll got me thinking about Mace which got me thinking about this fic but writing about the fic has me thinking about this fic again#kinda tempted to go through it again and give it a bit of a face lift. old once over. shine it up a bit#I've always hated that it's 17 chapters tbh. want it to be 15 or 20. i don't think I'll address that this time tho.#might just try an edit however#has this???? no i won't say it. not to curse it but... the editing/ read back block may... be shifting. possibly.#considering an edit hadn't seemed so possible in a while.#there are so many things i need to look over once i can lol I've posted things still in draft state#that's cool tho. no problem. not thinking about that just thinking about how nice it would be to give this old thing a shine#Mace is so ready here to absorb all the blame for everything on the order (and by extension him) but its really not on them
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constantvariations · 2 years
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Yknow, sometimes I wonder if the anti rwde crowd knows what Doylist Analysis even is
You have so many takes about how Adam was always an abuser because of this scene, or Ironwood was always evil because of that foreshadowing, or etc etc etc, but these people fail to consider what these things mean in the broader scope of narrative and authorial intent
What does Adam being an abusive partner bring to the themes of racism and methods of resistance, if any at all? Does Ironwood’s fall from grace challenge our protagonists in any meaningful way or is it a cheap scapegoat for the writers who still have no idea what to do with Salem?
Once you start dissecting the show, it's very easy to see the methods and ideology behind its creation. That's the beauty of badly written media - its tracks are much easier to follow and trace back to the roots
And the roots of this show just happen to be ill conceived at best and downright malicious at worst. It's not personal towards the writers or characters or whatever to notice these things, it's just... how it is
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4giorno · 5 months
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googles "will i be arrested if i play the exact same bg3 character for the third time in under 2 months"
#like again i know. i paid 70€ for this game i can play it however the fuck i want#but i still feel kind of. embarrassed?? esp bc im at my parents for christmas and new years and they know ive played this character twice#and like surely i should want to do something different after like 250 hours and yet... 😭😭😭😭😭#and ive realised that i never found the blood of lathander and my character def would want to get it even if it destroyed an ancient temple#and ive seen even more dialogue that i missed bc somehow i couldve long rested more frequently even tho i made a conscious effort to do tha#the second time around (bc i started playing multiplayer with my parents and already we got long rest stuff i never saw 💀)#also dialogue choices that fit him more but i was still too scared to pick bc i was afraid id get insta killed#or a companion would get so pissed off theyd leave..........#you could be like oh so you know what happens why would you play it but like why does anyone play sims or something#like sometimes you wanna see your little guys in scenarios 😭#(OH also i wanted to see if i could give astari0n worms in the beginning since he wanted them so bad#and it was literally one of the things he and my character bonded over as in they were the only bitches who thought they should use them#i just never thought to give any to him even tho he asked bc i always forget i can do stuff with the companions#AND im always afraid ill fuck something up for them gfkfjdhfkgkf)#anyway the point is wow still i have an unreasonable attatchment to this character of mine and i love him sm#and somehow i dont get bored of playing the same character after two full campaigns
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homostacis · 6 months
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imma write down some quick thoughts on narratives as living things real quick
Deltarune has got itself a really healthy narrative, alright? It's thriving, its guiding the path in the background, tangible yet invisible. It's the ferris wheel scene for Noelle and Susie -- a convenient set-up marks the deft hand of fate moving to direct the pieces and roles into their correct places, narrative framing, art. Its vigor is its emotion, the satisfaction one feels and it fuels within a desire to live and experience with it. You can feel it within every sequence, the warmth of a song for you.
And then you got the narrative in something like Devil May Cry 5. This narrative is rotting, full decay. The characters must play roles that don't fit them, it's oozing and slippery and they fall into patterns, moving further along with no ability stop what is mundane now. It's later seasons of sitcoms, stories repeating again and again except that it's not a cycle, it's a spiral, and it's been spoiling this entire time. Why do Dante and Vergil have to fight? It's because they're the protagonist and antagonist of an action game that refuses to ever let them die because it has one story it wants to tell. As the narrative dies they corrode with it, continuing to play out their roles and awaiting to be fossilized in them.
so like, games where the narrative is a living, breathing thing am i right?
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irregodless · 1 year
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the answer is yeah winston probably deserved all that but not everyone else
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was gonna do a saddest moment in bojacks life poll starting with bojacks dad drugs him and and then im just... ):
his life sucks right from 1-56 it just sucks..
Abusive parents who emotionally/ physically abuse him/ one even DRUGS HIM for no good reason and its just man his childhood makes me sad cause it leads to an unhappy adulthood that makes me sad his whole life makes me sad
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oldtestleper · 2 years
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Barry hbo literally makes me. bite snarl bark etcetera. insane fucking insane. this tv show is an essay this tv show is 10 essays. yes I’m very stoned right now and yes i truly believe this is a stupid good tv show
#i think what it explores abt violence & abuse & forgiveness & redemption is really intelligent and nuanced and coherent? i don’t know I#think I want to study bill hader under a microscope that is for SURE. i want to have him write responses of 150 words or more to at least 20#detailed questions about his opinions on things. in terms of his influences and sources and references and ideas and so forth I mean#i don’t know. people are like ‘wow that is not normal Barry is insaneeee’ but having been close witness to several cases of gaslighting and#emotional abuse. it was weird that he was saying it in such a forthright and unapologetic manner but what he was describing—the envi#envi​ronmental changes. the harming/killing of pets w a certain amt of plausible deniability; the goal of isolation and mistrust of other -#people; the erosion of the sense of self esteem; the sensation of one’s brain ‘eating itself’— are all overt & specific gaslighting tech -#techniques. the joke is that he doesn’t ‘know’ it as emotional abuse; he understands it as a#particular ‘technique’ of his job. hader is equivocating the violence of IPV to the violence of the military/people ‘following orders’/#‘killing bad guys’. all these forms of violence are in effect the same violence; & in that regard the rules of choice; self-determination;#guilt; forgiveness; and repentance apply.#it’s not a terrifically original idea* but I think the ways it /presents/ these ideas and deconstructs and explores them is really smart &#*that military/state/‘justified’ violence is allegorically/symbolically/materially related to interpersonal/(esp. qua)intimate-partner#- violence. anyway. like it’s been said before#in terms of being a rhetorical tool.#but like I said I think the value is in the nuance and critical consideration of the perspective. and the clarity of the message also#idk like I said. essays. also like I said I am quite high so. perhaps most of this is nonsense. however I’ve learned not to discount my#stoney writing too much. it got me thru last semester and ultimately also thru this one#antwayyyyy that’s enough of my thots. maybe I’ll make a real post later. I’m still having computer trouble so idk might be too hard :///#.txt#we’ll see.#barry hbo#I’m trying to keep myself entertained and my research muscles engaged so my brain doesn’t j fallow lol.
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magnoliamyrrh · 4 months
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aegon is such an interesting character bc hes a sadistic child fighter child rapist alcoholic etc but until the moment of his coronation he is also fully aware his father never wanted him to be king and that he was never meant to be king and that he is 1000% not cut out for any of it. even tells aemond hell run away and never return and let him be king and tbh that would be the better option. has like 0 interest in fighting rhae throughout all of his teenage years. like he is absolutely horrible but more self aware abt it than lets say joffery ever was
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exopelagic · 5 months
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I did NOT realise how out of it I am December is messed up
#I just realised that I’ve got exactly two weeks before (mock) exam and I gotta be ready#meanwhile I’m sitting on 14 unwatched lectures#I just opened one up and I can’t bring myself to do it#it’s probably partly bc I need to shower! which I can actually do now so sorry lecture that has to take priority#but like. being at home fucks me up so insanely badly#mostly bc my brother will sit in our room all day with the lights off playing his games w his friends on call#(with the door closed. it smells very bad.)#and I can’t kick him out and there’s nowhere else I can rlly watch lectures#I could do other shit in theory but I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it bc working downstairs is also a nightmare#and even when I do get the room to myself like now (literally the first time since I’ve been back home) I’m working on my bed#and that kills my back and is just. very uncomfortable#but goddamn I like. just zoned out for like two weeks? I’m not even back yet but I’ve not done anything for like two weeks#and I go back weekend after next after which I have 5 days at uni before exam#and two weeks before I have to submit my supervisor choices for my fucking masters#like. oh my god#oh my gooooooooood#idk if I’m gonna make it out of this one alive#bc I Am behind now just objectively I am very behind and I’ll get it done before term starts but I’ve not rewritten many lectures notes#which isn’t Necessary but I don’t know the stuff in the lectures which is the problem#aaaaaand my brother is back and about to close the blind I’m just. I’m just gonna shower#thankfully this is the last time I’ll come back and have to be revising#but god. I thought it’d be better and then I just got sucked into the same shit as always#this has been a bad month but hey. new year on monday#yeah he’s on the phone I physically cannot be in here again he does this all day every day and I’m going to scream#okay! shower time!#hope everyone’s having a good day <3#luke.txt
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