#and this seems to exclude some neurodivergent behaviors from getting too close to me
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I got big romantic and platonic turn offs that I shouldn’t shame myself for cause it truthfully bites me in and around the ass later
#I need a lot to feel a genuine mutual relationship with someone#I need reciprocity and that looks different to everyone#for me that looks like being engaged in conversation more often than not#not dropping out of convos repeatedly without saying why#and this seems to exclude some neurodivergent behaviors from getting too close to me#and that’s ok!#what makes it shit is wanting things to be different#we can have a distant relationship but we can’t get close#because I’m not pushing myself anymore#because that’s out of not accepting you or my needs#and neither of us are bad or in the wrong#it’s just how it is#and it’s ok#what gets me most is when someone tries to be closer after repeatedly failing me#and vice versa#something fundamentally doesn’t work#and it’s best to leave it as such if it’s a pattern#we can be friendly#we might be able to be freinds#but we won’t be close#and that’s best for the both of us
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