#and this whatever this fandom is shouldn’t be about that
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#hello everyone how are you?#I hope everything is doing alright! from my part I can say life is treating me well lately#and I feel very light and okay#I am here mainly to get things straight#I saw an anon going around some other blogs talking about me#saying I am an hater and I shouldn’t be writing larry fics#I think this is the same anon that I blocked some weeks ago#because they told me I should not use Harry for clout (????)#and I want to say only one thing because I don’t care of defending myself on this website anymore and that is#it’s not clout and it’s not easy#being a (new) writer here is not easy because people don’t care what you do and there is definitely not clout around me#im not using harry to gain anything#if anything I am constantly questioning whether I am somehow good at writing silly stories and putting myself out there for people’s judg#*judgement. and I promise you it’s not always nice#especially when this place doesn’t like people who you don’t always agree with#especially when you are blocked by half of this side of fandom (larries because I had said something in the past that they didn’t like)#louies because im a larrie ergo I hate louis (???) and harries because i dont care about Harry as much as they do#so no I am not ashamed of writing and I am not ashamed of writing giving my characters#(that rarely have anything to do with H/L irl) thei#their names and physical features#and honestly people like you anon should definitely stop to play this stupid game of fandom police#deciding who can read what and who can write what#because this actions only affect new writers in the way that#they will be alienated. they will feel alienated#and this whatever this fandom is shouldn’t be about that#ever. you don’t know what people go through every fucking day#you definetely dont know how this sort of silencing mission you have going on#will affect people on the internet and their mental health#stop defending the imaginary people you think H/L are and start treating people in this fandom as actual human beings#and since you probably would like to know this: I am not currently working on any project because i am fucking scared of reaction like this
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until the show directly tells me otherwise, I think the trend of calling nathalie adrien’s new mom or stepmom is. offending. off-putting? I think it sort of hints at something deeper, even if unconscious. anyway.
#I don’t know. I shouldn’t even feel this strongly about it HADJJDDJ anyone can think whatever.#it just. strikes me so antithetical to Nathalie and her character and what she has said and. ugh. AUGH.#and ofc people aren’t saying this with awful intentions#I feel I could write an essay on this. in my heart.#Nathalie sancoeur#ml#is it fandom’s love for found family? is it forcing a woman to step into a motherly role because she’s the only woman he has at home?#it’s innocent I believe at heart. I just don’t like it.#sorry to be a hater on main
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outing myself as not a hater but it lowkey pisses me off when i see people criticising something they like more than talking about how they like it. it’s okay to like something thats bad. you dont have to explain why you like or dislike it. please
#felix babbles#this isnt me saying you shouldn’t criticise media. do whatever you want forever#but allow yourself and others to enjoy it#it makes me sad when im looking for stuff i enjoy and hear people talking about all of its flaws#incredibly targeted at a certain fandom. you know who you are /lh#ALSO. making jokes about it being bad is perfectly fine i do that too. not liking Certain parts is so so normal. this is just me ranting
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ship discourse my beloathed
#god why can’t people like. leave other people alone#“i can’t believe you’re a proshipper you have such young impressionable fans!!1!1!1” girl. shut up#such “young impressionable fans” probably shouldn’t be on the tumblr/twitter/whatever anyway.#also like. if a creator has sufficient warnings it shouldn’t???? matter????#just block the tag and move on lmao you antis are fucking crybabies#don’t doxx or harass people over FICTIONAL SHIPS#one of the things that drives me fucking crazy in the utmv fandom is ship discourse. like good fucking lord#it’s okay to be disappointed in people for being proshippers. i was disappointed when i found out zu was.#do i care? no! i still love her other content. i just blocked the dreammare tag and moved on#it’s not like she posts about it everyday anyway. grow up utmv community.#nash talks#probably delete later#nashdoesstuff#this is exactly why i’m so tired of this fandom’s bs and have considered leaving as many times as i have#you guys don’t know how to fucking behave.#will i leave? probably not considering utmv is my special interest#but my point still stands. grow the fuck up.#fandom discourse#ship discourse#i think the only proshipper i’ve ever blocked was flowey because he’s weird in other ways. it wasn’t even because of proshipping :/
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Definitely a mistake complaining about this on tumblr of all places, but does anyone else get annoyed with every single minute little social media interaction having to be a morality contest?
Someone will comment “he’s funny” on a 2 second celebrity meme and someone else will inevitably reply “he’s a raging zionist and he called a woman a bitch in 2008, he should be publicly hanged actually”.
Like… don’t yall get tired of living like this? I’m exhausted just looking at you.
#adding a disclaimer so I don’t get jumped that I’m not saying we should never hold famous ppl accountable#but like… does it have to be on every interaction on every post in every conversation even when it’s harmless and irrelevant#yes yes we get it Twitter user Abby247 you’re more woke than the rest of us#and we’re shirking our moral responsibility or whatever by not only ever talking about emotionally exhausting political stuff constantly#but can we not just have a conversation oh my GOD#I just think it’s ok to enjoy aspects of a person even if other aspects of them are massively problematic#especially in a time where propaganda and societal pressure make it easy for people to see an issue from an angle that isn’t accurate#and unconsciously end up on the wrong side of it with an opinion that isn’t necessarily reflective of their core#apparently it’s a radical statement to say humans are complicated beings that can never be examined in a black and white way#and that it’s a good thing to be able to differentiate the various parts of them and react accordingly#also there’s like a 90% chance if someone’s leaving a comment on some random celeb post#they likely don’t gaf about the celeb beyond what they’re seeing in front of the#they’re just having a nice shallow scrolling experience#and that’s not a bad thing either#and for you to take it upon yourself to give them a lecture about what they should and shouldn’t feel is uhhh..#self righteous af#idk#not fandom
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You just don't think antis are a problem because they're not in your fandoms. Once they start making posts with thousands of likes accusing you of being a pedophile and threatening to find out where you live and work so they can report your pedophilic tendencies because you ship teenagers (shounen characters), you'll start caring very quickly. Not in favour of that happening to you? Cool, you're a proshipper.
The fuck
#just woke up to get a glass of water#checked my phone and saw this#took me a whole minute to figure out what was going on lmao#it’s way too early to argue and also I don’t care enough at five in the morning#I just want to ask since when the fuck does teen wolf not have antis#holy shit the amount of antis in this fandom even years after the dumb show is over#but anyway I think you’re missing the point#there shouldn’t be proshippers or antis cuz it’s so pointless#pretty sure that’s what op meant#and nobody should care so much about it that they’re attacking ppl over it like you said#cuz don’t like don’t read is like basic decency and common sense#and most ppl have a lot more real life problems to deal with#than caring about what someone else thinks about character A going down on character B or whatever the problem is#but literally nobody is saying antis aren't a problem#we're actually saying antis are ridiculous for making such a big deal about sth that really doesn't matter in the greater scheme of things#that’s my 5am contribution I’m going back to bed
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Anyways nothing in the show made me cry till seeing ekko and Mel sitting there alone and it doesn’t even have to do with powder and Jayce it’s the fact that they have to get up the next day its exhausting like there’s so much work to do.
#and sevika to a lesser extent#like it’s less sad for me bc she’s got a support group#like ig it’s bc this is moving up for her#she still has shit to get done but yknow#but for Mel and ekko#she’s gotta deal with being an actual ruler now these new abilities and what they mean#she might be glancing over her shoulder everyday bc what if there’s another black rose#and ekko#man he’s still gotta figure out his tree#and they still have to keep it pushing bc ok fuck playing into the council I hate that sorry#but there’s just so much fucking work to do after 10 minutes of relaxing#and it’s like#idk how to feel about arcane like idk#it feels the same a oitnb to me#commentary on no happy endings but it just so happens the main white characters got theirs#even that jinx lived theory grinds my gears bc it’s like#ofc mel and ekko got the short end of the stick. writing and fandom wise like always#and it’s like the show touches on certain things and can’t follow through bc nobody actually cares about black characters and their stories#but also if this is just expanding into wider lol lore it’s like#having the stories set up or finish in a#I don’t wanna say unsatisfactory but like in a way where it’s real#the ball keeps rolling#that’s cool#but it’s not even that it’s just. more care ig#yeah. I want more care for black characters#I wish whoever fought for cait and vi playing house or saw it as a deserved ending or whatever#someone who decided that mel shouldn’t have finished sitting there alone#that maybe ekko deserved to lay down and sleep even if he cried#like it doesn’t have to be a happy ending. if ekkos last scene was just him sobbing over what he lost it’d feel different#but it’s not in his nature to be that selfish. selfish enough to cry freely. free u my heart. 💔💔💔
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I haven’t reviewed my collection approvals in a while bc they’re a bitch to find on ao3 but I’ve been mulling over two requests for a while now bc I understand the spirit of the collection but it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth bc a lot of it is specific character bashing which I don’t enjoy or endorse but like- the requested fics do technically fit the collection and maybe if they were in there then ppl would click on my fics and realize..that characters..are nuanced…and don’t need to be bashed…and can be handled in a productive way….and actually have growth….idk maybe I’m thinking too hard about this
#cross talks#my fic#I’m definitely thinking about this too much#like idk when I was in high school I read character bashing and now I’m like….why is this fucking Necessary#if you want character whump or you hate how a character is handled in canon just- fucking fix it idk#u can do whatever u want with fic I shouldn’t judge#just black and white viewpoints make me so annoyed#bc I think it translates form fandom into a lot of other aspects in life#*BIG SIIIGH#lol two seconds after I posted this I figured out how to easily get to collections approvals#why did it take me 12 years to figure this out
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sorry to talk about the topic again but honestly i think the whole ‘fail rp’ problem really comes down to the fact that the admins had initially said that purgatory 2 wasn’t canon to quesadilla island and the lore there wouldn’t overlap with the lore on the main island BUT that if the cc’s wanted to they could make it canon to their own character and personal lore.
so bad’s initial plan was that 1/3 of himself was transported to purgatory (the bloodthirsty part of him) while 2/3’s of himself were still on the main island (the more relaxed and chill side of him). and this would have worked fine with the fact that again, purgatory 2 wasn’t supposed to be canon unless the cc’s wanted it to be.
but then baghera and cellbit showed up and it threw bad for a loop because them being there DOES kind of throw a wrench in the whole ‘purgatory 2 isn’t canon to quesadilla island’ thing. because now he doesn’t know what parts of purgatory are canon and what parts aren’t and since he wasn’t warned about it before hand he just tried to do his best to compensate for it. him telling richas and pomme that their parents are alive makes sense for his character because like ??? why wouldn’t he tell them that 😭😭😭 but i think he ended up retconning that conversation as a whole and any other convo’s he had with people because he was stuck on how to proceed with his initial plan (his mind being split).
he has said that maybe it could work by having those conversations be taken as happening AFTER purgatory and while he does want purgatory 2 to be canon to his character he is fine with it not being canon if that’s what everyone / the admins decide.
#also there’s the whole#‘bad shouldn’t be playing on the server in the first place’ debate but#that’s just fucking stupid so all i’m gonna say about that is#he can do whatever the fuck he wants and the admins allowed it so shut the fuck up#discourse#fandom crit#bbh neg#<- not on my part but just tagging in case ppl don’t want to see this#and uhmm idk what else to tag so pls tell me if i missed anything thank youuuuu
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Okay i know I keep talking about how much I’m enjoying this month’s prompt, but it is starting to get out of hand so I had to just end it. There’s like so much I could add to and ramble about, like this is definitely a long game one (I mean they’re always meant to be slowburn but I’m impatient), the potential for drama and everyone else getting into their business! The denial, the whole fuck it we ball, adding different characters and playing with the dynamics! There’s just a lot okay, and this is only one of the sports I love. I’ve already plotted in my mind the other two sports AU’s and the vibes and roles they have there is just everything to me. I’m well aware no one cares, and I do want to finish my WIPs before I even think about starting a whole sports series. But yeah, I’m just very excited cause my fandom is colliding and it’s so self indulgent. Even more so than anything else I’ve ever written. My American is definitely showing and I don’t even have to try and tone it down, it’s part of the fic, I get to be as biased as I want with absolutely no shame. Love this for me <3
Update: what a wonderful sports day, and I finished the October prompts! Which means I get to focus on my WIPs hopefully… I’ve got a lot of fun things to do this month so I’ll probably be distracted. But I’m hopeful I’ll finally be done with IWICL, or at the very least update Devour (I’m like two chapters ahead I believe but I haven’t edited, so I’ll have to get on that.)
#cynply rambling#I always get weird looks when people find out I’m into sports and not just as a casual fan#like my friends get it and love seeing me get excited but it’s also terrible cause I will scream and cry in public too#and I know tumblr hates it and I don’t exactly fit in with the sports side here either#so i constantly feel out of place like I’m too crazy which fair but I also have no chill in general#and really with all the negativity I receive from it I really shouldn’t be a fan anymore#not to mention it is my most toxic fandom#but I just can’t let it go. it’s like telling me to stop listening to music. impossible#so yeah make fun or continue to ignore me whatever. I’m still going to root for my team and be loud about it#side note I actually really miss flufftober but there’s no way I can participate cause I’m doing this#but I really miss fluff. there has not been enough of it lately and it’s low key killing me#I already think this ship is so tragic so it really brings me down when I see more misunderstandings and angst#don’t get me started on mcd. absolutely not#so yeah. I miss fluff and I wish we got more of it. no more drama I’m tired of it#I just want my ship to be cute together and kiss#(I say as this months prompt does not follow a fluff route either. it’s why I’m deprived okay)
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it resonated so hard, I'm polyam/aroace and it was just like. some twt users have permanent main character syndrome so bad, dnf in gay romantic love and other people using their brains to acknowledge the obvious is not oppressing us, please go read the wiki on occam's razor and then touch grass (okay sorry ty for letting me use your asks to vent 🫶)
no ur so right don’t apologize! i need to start just replying to silly shit with the occam’s razor wiki link bc like it simply does not ever need to be so fucking complicated lmao. but at the end of the day it doesn’t even matter bc we already won 😭💚 dnf in gay romantic love we did it joe
#no yea the main character syndrome goes crazy like we r not a part of their relationship why do we matter jn this context in the way#theyre trying to make us matter or whatever#like obv people matter but like#im rlly tired i have no clue what i’m saying LMFAOOOO#but dnf in gay romantic love we never lose#sorry i love any and every variation of that and i’m going to say it always now#thank u for asks it made my very sleepy very stressful nigjt better#i love talking about fandom shit sometimes bc like i prommy i have decent thoughts on shit but god i hate adding to it sometimes#but like i didn’t see much that wasn’t crazy shit/acknowledging shit was crazy but not Why#which is whatever like people shouldn’t have to write thinkpjeces on dnf#but i don’t mind bc i do it anyways LOL#i love a good ramble#anyways god this is so long i’m so sorry 😭😭
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honestly genuinely think a lot of writers here on tumblr have lost the plot more than a little. like if your writing for external validation, ie begging for comments and reblogs or saying kudos/likes mean less, i really believe you need to take a step back and reexamine your relationship with your writing. of course we all love to hear how much someone likes our work- we’re human- but the incessant posting and polling about comments and how “no one comments anymore” is starting to give entitlement. you aren’t owed engagement. just because you’re choosing to put the your work out to the public sphere, whether it’s here on tumblr or ao3 or wattpad or literally anywhere, for free and explicitly for others entertainment doesn’t mean they- the strangers on the internet- owe you anything. they don’t owe you a like, a comment, a reblog, a favorite, a bookmark- they don’t have any obligation to you. if you’re posting and immediately concerned about engagement metrics you’re no better than any tiktok or instagram content creator.
#it actually makes me want to engage with your work less#like I really don’t get this recent uptick in writers begging for comments#and that one post going around about people giving/having literary critics about fanfic?#that annoyed me too like c’mon guys you really can’t have it both ways#either you want people to meaningfully engage with your work or you don’t#and I really truly believe it’s the second one because it’s giving you just want praise#because no one wants ‘unsolicited criticism’ in the comments only what the reader liked about it#you just want validation- which is normal! I too like being told I’m doing a good job at the thing I love doing- but some people are taking#this to an extreme that’s like…..almost alienating to a degree because 99% of the time it’s about fanfic and that inherently means fandom#spaces and fandom comes with a lot of connotations and expectations of behavior that can be both intimidating and ridiculous#like idk man reading and writing is supposed to be cathartic and freeing not an obligation it shouldn’t be expected of readers to keep a#notepad full of bullet points to write an essay in the comments about why they liked the fanfic they just read#idk whatever#nothing is gonna change about it ik but it’s just……#idk#I wanna say annoying is the best word to describe it but it feels more than that#like personally I don’t write because I feel like I need to share this thing I made with people that might like it#I write because I’m never as unhappy as when I can’t express the million little ideas I have a day#I write because I love the process of writing and the places it can take me#I don’t need anyone else to agree with or like the same idea/story I’m excited for#and if I do share whatever it is I’ve written it’s a nice bonus to have people just as excited about it as me#but tbh 90% of what I write is never shared because I just….. don’t care to#I don’t need that external validation some other writers on here seem so desperate for
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this is why i shouldn’t be on my phone right after i get up cuz i just had to snap myself out of mulling over fandom discourse at 5:40 am. it does not matter girl!!
#thoughts#tbh i was mulling it over last night too and i was like should i make a post but then i remembered making a post on tumblr#dot com with my opinions on fandom discourse is in fact totally pointless and kind of very silly. lol#i guess i shouldn’t judge whatever thoughts or lines of inquiry i’m rotating in my mind cuz if i don’t have some kind of vaguely#philosophical problem to think about constantly i’m just not thinking. but i don’t need to always share my opinion because it’s more#peaceful that way. hrmmm.
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so all you need to do right now is disappear.
HHHHAPPY ISATVERSARY EVERYONE. here’s redraws for every single battle cg in the game. 36 drawings this time around, with 11 of those being custom (though admittedly a good portion of those are edits). combined with the portrait redraws i made back in september, i’ve made 114 redraws for this project! jesus christ! just like those redraws, these are completely free to use!! as long as i’m credited and it’s not for commercial purposes, go wild!! do whatever you want!!!
no i didn’t make these for isat’s 1 year anniversary this is just wildly good timing.
i genuinely can’t fit all of these cgs in one post even with the 30 image limit on browser, but i’ll still try to fit Most of them below the cut (without making this post horrifically long), along with some notes that might be important 👍
okay! once again, i labeled all of the custom art as such in the drive(UPDATE. NNOT TRUE ANYMORE. reformatted file names to be easier to mod in auau. apologies!), but if you want a full list, the customs are hatless siffrin jackpot, bonnie jackpot, bonnie special attack, bigfrin attack, and a bunch of alts which are definitely not related to any projects i’ve been thinking about don’t worry about it. and out of those customs, only like. 3 of them are actually completely from scratch.
while i did my absolute best to keep the aspect ratios completely the same as the originals, there’s 3 exceptions that i just couldn’t get to work.
isabeau’s hair in his special attack cg wouldn’t fit in frame if i kept things completely accurate to the og, so i moved his cg down a bit. it shouldn’t cause any issues with modding or anything, it’ll just appear slightly lower than it does in game. alas…
isabeau’s sleeve and mirabelle’s hair made their jackpot sprites a little larger than the originals? i’m hoping this doesn’t have too much of an effect (since the jackpot sprites have inconsistent sizes) but i can’t test this myself unfortunately. aaa feel free to let me know on discord if any problems arise!!
i managed to fix these, so they aren’t going to cause problems now, but my original drawings for mirabelle and siffrin in the final attack scene were a pain in the ass to fix. mirabelle’s sprite was slightly too talk to fit in frame and siffrin’s hat whacked bonnie in the face while i was editing everyone together. i’m only mentioning this because it took like an hour and a half to fix them and finish the scene.
all that aside, these were a fucking BLAST to work on. apparently this ended up taking 57 hours over exactly 10 days. which is a little worrying if you do the math on that but somehow i have not burnt myself out. i will be doing enemies at some point!!! but probably not for a little bit. i think my friends will actually kill me if i don’t take a break.
once again, happy birthday isat. you’ve ruined my life and i wouldn’t have it any other way (silly).
also, on an actual serious note, this little timeloop game has genuinely changed my life for the better? you guys are probably sick of hearing it at this point (or maybe not, i don’t talk about myself That Much. i hope), but i was practically a ghost for about 2 years before joining this fandom. it’s a little surreal to suddenly have friends (plural!!!) and people who Care about me, or even know i exist, honestly. it’s weird!! in a good way!!!
i don’t think i would’ve ever come back to social media if this community wasn’t so welcoming. i’ve met a lot of really great people through this game!!! so, uh, thank you isat, i guess. here’s to another year.
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#also for full transparency. the sadness death redraw is effectively just a trace job. i’m not super happy with it because of thag#but i think i would be Killed if i tried to redo it. i dunno. maybe ill try to change it when i do sadnesses. maybe not.#besides that GOD im really happy with how these turned out#bigfrin was a last minute addition but i think he turned out fantastic#bonnie’s special attack isn’t my Favorite but i think it turned out pretty well considering the Struggle#gggod. trying to make a heavily foreshortened pose that still feels dynamic is really hard. how did id5 do this.#also don’t. worry about the Extra custom sprites that’re in there. i’m not planning anything.#happy isatversary everyone.#i blow away in the wind#isat redraw project
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once a month someone on here goes u horny freaks are ruining my engagement with various texts and medias!!! it’s like none of u take anything seriously!!! and they are on the microblogging fanart fanfiction meme hobbyist site where 50% of the userbase are gay people with humanities degrees who’ve already seriously discussed genre / history / lit elsewhere for example in real life when we did undergrad one million years ago or at our places of work or at book club. none of u can conceive of existing outside of Here, the place for horny posting. “fandom shouldn’t only be for sex obsessed pervs!!!” don’t worry babygirl i promise u we are all also engaged in the rehashed discourse over classic translation issues of the odyssey and whatever gothic horror remake has reentered the zeitgeist. inability to curate an art discussion community with like minded hoes is 100% a skill issue like idk look harder for ur people & spend less time complaining about phenomenons that aren’t real and don’t exist outside of niche internet hobby spaces lmao
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I BET You Think About Me
SYNOPSIS: being Theo’s girlfriend is a dream… until you find out why he asked you out in the first place.
FANDOM: Harry Potter
PAIRING(S): Theodore Nott x fem!reader
RATING: PG
CHARACTERS MENTIONED: Enzo, Blaise, Draco, Mattheo, Pansy, Snape
GENRE/AU: Snape’s Daughter!Reader, Asks you out cause of a bet, kind of angsty, kind of fluffy, slytherin!reader
WORD COUNT: 2.6K
WARNINGS: swearing and kissing.
A/N: agh. It’s 3 in the morning. Enjoy. May have a tiny bit of pacing issues but it’s fine
DEDICATIONS: the polls who decided they wanted Theo while I decided I was gonna post Mattheo and Rhysand instead.
CREDITS: n/a
…Six Months Ago….
——————————————————————————
“You can’t do it, Theo.” Draco says plainly. “If she’s anything like her father she won’t be able to feel that kind of emotion.”
Theo shakes his head. “She’s still a girl.”
Mattheo snorts, Enzo sputters. “That’s a bit sexist, Theo.” Enzo says, looking over at Y/n L/n.
She’s Severus Snape’s daughter and completely untouchable. Theo hasn’t seen a single guy going out with her in the whole six years they’d been at hogwarts.
That might be because of her father.
“Draco’s right.” Mattheo says. “She’ll never fall for you.”
“I’m gonna prove you guys wrong and you’re gonna owe me a shit ton of money for it.”
…. One Month Ago ….
——————————————————————————
Mattheo stares at you as you walks away. “Damn, I guess you were right.” Both him and Draco reach for their wallets but Theo waves them off.
“I don’t want it— any of it.” It felt for him wrong to take the money from the bet. Theo had fallen for you just as hard— if not harder— as you’d fallen for him.
Hell, Theo would kiss the ground you walked on if you asked him.
“What do you mean?” Blaise asks incredulously. “You won the bet.”
Theo furrows his eyebrows. “Whatever, I don’t want the money.”
They all stare at him.
One, two, three minutes of silence before Mattheo blurts out: “Oh my god. Theo fell for her.” He starts to laugh, and the other boy's eyes widen.
“Wow. That’s a little bit pathetic, Theo.” Draco teases.
Pansy slides in beside Blaise. “Wow. Famous playboy Theodore Nott fell for someone?” She snickers. “Who?”
Theo deadpans. “What do you mean who?” You are Pansy’s roommate after all, Pansy should better than anybody.
Her face falls. “You don’t mean y/n. do you?” Theo nods and she gives him an exasperated look. “Theo! You literally only dated her to win a bet!”
“Yeah, I know!” He retorts. A beat of silence, then, “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“You have to tell her.” Enzo cuts in. “If you truly like her, it isn’t something you can keep secret.”
Theo nods his head absentmindedly. “I know, I know. I’ll tell her soon.”
He didn’t want his new relationship to end before it ever began.
….Present….
——————————————————————————
Today, you woke up late, stubbed your toe on your bed and then spent the ten minutes you had to get ready looking for your damned potions book.
When you’d finally found it, threw on your uniform and got your hair into some sort of presentable, you rushed out your dorm and down the hallways as fast as your feet would take you.
Your class was on the opposite side of Hogwarts and you were already ten minutes late.
In your haste, you aren’t watching for other people in front of you and run straight into someone.
“I’m so sorry!” You exclaim frantically, picking up your books as she picks up hers.
She looks familiar but you don’t know her name.
“No, it’s okay— Oh.” Her faces twists into a scowl when she meets your gaze. “You’re Theo’s ‘Girlfriend’” she airquotes as she says ‘girlfriend’, causing you to narrow your eyes at here.
You furrow your eyebrows. “Uhm, yeah, I am. Why did you say it like that?”
She crosses her arms. “Because you and I both know that he doesn’t actually like you. You’re not his girlfriend.”
“And who, exactly, are you?” You ask, annoyance settling in your chest.
She looks down at you, a cocky expression written on her face. “You should probably just stay away from him, you know that, right?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Really, he’s going to be mine so I don’t even know what you’re doing.” She waves you off, as if she truly believes this.
You shuffle your books around in your arms and shift your weight into your other leg. “You do know that you’re not his girlfriend, right?”
“Whatever.” She shrugs, and you still don’t know her name. “Doesn’t matter if he calls you his girlfriend, it’s not like you’re a threat anyway.”
What does she mean ‘not a threat’? You feel like that’s a sentence better used to describe her considering, you’re Theo’s actual girlfriend. “What is that supposed to mean?” You ask incredulously but still relatively calm.
She gives you a mock sympathetic expression. “Oh, Sweetheart,” She starts, taunting you with each syllable. “You didn’t really think someone like Theo would settle down for someone like you… do you? I mean, he’s all parties and good times and you’re… well, you can’t even dress yourself properly.”
She looks you up and down, from your half-untucked uniform shirt to your loose tie and your unwrinkled skirt. You’re not usually this messed up. “Clearly, I do, because he did.” You pause, sigh deeply and roll your eyes. “Why am I even entertaining this conversation?” You turn away from her, preparing to tune her out and walk away.
She tuts, shaking her head. “Because you obviously know you mean nothing to him— after all when your relationship starts with a bet, I don’t think it’s ever been super stable.”
This makes you stop and turn back to her. “A bet?” You say it slowly and the words taste awful on your tongue. “What bet?”
She scoffs-laughs and smiles evilly. “Oops, did I say too much?”
Theo chooses this moment to walk up behind the two of your . He slides his hand around my waist, letting it rest there as he stands beside me. “Are you okay? You’re super late.” He asks, looking you over. His eyes flit over to the girl who was talking to you and his nose scrunched. “Why are you talking to Tracey?”
Tracey, that’s her name.
I don’t think he likes her too much.
Tracey opens her mouth to respond but I cut her off and begin dragging Theo away. “I don’t even know, Theo, let’s go.”
I can feel Tracey’s glare until we’re well out of her line of sight.
Jealous.
……
You can’t get Tracey’s words out of your head. You know it was a tactic to rile you up and, you suppose, it worked but you had this horrible feeling that maybe she wasn’t lying.
Asking Theo about it though? That was hard; you didn’t want him to think you didn’t trust him but you also didn’t want to get upset before you knew whether it was true or not.
You decided to ask one or two other people before Theo. Pansy Parkinson, was first. She’s been your friend since first year but she hung out with Theo’s group long before you ever did.
“Hey, Pansy.” You say airily. She looks up at you and smiles.
The bed creaks as you fall down onto it and sigh. “Can I ask you a random question?” You ask, fidgeting with the corner of your blankets.
She looks up at you expectantly but also with a good deal of worry. “Yeah, of course; What’s up?”
She shifts in her spot at the end of her bed, turning her full attention to me.
“Did you ever… I don’t know,” you stop, trying to find the correct words. “Did you ever hear anything about Me, Theo and a bet? While you were, like, hanging out with them.”
Pansy looks down at your fidgeting fingers and then furrows her eyebrows. She thinks about it for a minute, and her face drops so slightly I almost don’t catch it. “Oh, y/n…” she trails off. “He didn’t tell you?”
Every muscle in your body locks up. “He didn’t tell me what?” You don’t think you really want the confirmation now that you know it’s coming.
Pansy stands and then sits down next to you and pulls you into her in a side hug. “When Theo started trying to get with you it was because of a bet.” She stops but you just gesture for her to continue. “… I wasn’t actively apart of this conversation so I only got the gist of it but I was there.”
“What was the bet.” You say, with your eyes hot and your throat restricted. Your tone makes it seem like it wasn’t a question.
“The boys bet him that he couldn’t make the next woman he saw fall in love with him by the end of the year.” She gives your a sad smile. “I guess the next woman was you.”
What. The. Fuck. You’re gonna kill him, because he obviously won that goddamn bet already. You give Pansy a quick squeeze and then stand up. “I need to go talk to him.”
Pansy nods and walks back to her own bed, waving bye as you walk through the door.
Your vision is a bit blurry and your hands are shaking with betrayal and anger as you storm away from the girl’s dorms and right through the common room to the boy’s dorms.
When you reach his door, you knock loudly, despite it being late.
Draco answers. He looks you up and down and then turns his back halfway to you. “Theo, your girlfriend is here.”
Theo appears a moment later, an easy smile and his piercing eyes that you want to love so badly right now. He gently moves you back a bit and steps out of the dorm. “Hey, Baby, what’s up?”
You shudder at the pet name and his face drops. “Oh, I don’t know, Theo.”
He pulls you to the other side of the hall and keeps his hands on your arms, comforting both yourself and him. “What’s wrong? Did somebody do something to you?”
The worry on his face seems so genuine, you almost want to believe the bet was a lie— but you’re not that stupid.
“Yeah, Theo, someone hurt me.” You pause. “It was you and your fucking bet.”
He freezes. “Shit. Who told you about that?”
You don’t want to— no, you can’t look in his eyes. “That girl, Tracey, and then Pansy filled in the finer details.” You’re arms are crossed now and he can’t hold you like he was before. “Is that seriously the only thing you care about right now— actually, obviously it would be because I’m just a bet, right?”
He opens his mouth to speak but you don’t let him. “Actually,” you continue. “I don’t want to hear it— just, have a good life, Theo. I’d say we’re over but I don’t think we really ever started to begin with.”
You walk away before you second-guess yourself and ignore as he calls your name. He doesn’t run after you, which you’re equally glad for and disappointed by.
God, you don’t think your heart has ever hurt this bad.
…..
You haven’t seen Theo in class for the whole week after you ‘broke up’; you’ve seen glimpses of him outside, always smoking, or eating in the Great Hall but it’s like he’s intentionally missing every class you have together.
He probably is.
He shouldn't have that right. You’re the one who gets to avoid him, he doesn’t get to avoid you.
You’re the one who got played like a violin and ended up battered and bruised.
You don’t see him for most of your days, but, when you do— when you look at him, his eyes are always already on you.
As a result the other Slytherin boys glance at you while he stares, because of how intensely he does so. You can feel his eyes burning holes into you at all times.
You try your best to ignore him as you stand to leave the Great Hall.
A boy stops you near the entrance, you think you recognize him. He’s the same year as you, and pretty nice as far as you know. His name is Lucas, you’re pretty sure.
“Hey.” Lucas says warmly. “How are you?”
He’s a bit close, and you’re sort of backed into the wall. You laugh awkwardly. “I’m alright, um, how are you?”
He smiles. “About the same,” he looks behind him and then back at you, same easy-going smile that isn’t easy the way Theo’s is. “Anyways, I was wondering… since you broke up with Nott, maybe you’d wanna go out sometime? With me?”
“She doesn’t.”
Lucas’s shoulders jump at the sound of Theo’s voice and he backs away from you and spins to look at Theo, whose standing there with a dangerous look on his face.
You glare at him. “Maybe I do want to.” It’s a challenge and Theo knows it.
Lucas sputters. “You know, I actually realized I’m busy, so…” he scrambles off after that you’re left with Theo.
You scowl at him. “Theo, what the fuck?”
“He’s not good enough for you.” He shrugs like he knows what’s good enough for you. Mr. Bet-Winner.
Your heart aches in your chest just looking at him. “And how would you know what’s good enough for me, Theo? because you sure as hell weren’t.”
He scowls now. “I treated you like you were a fucking princess, Y/n, all he would’ve done was treat you like a piece of ass.”
You huff. “A princess, Theo? None of it was even real!” You spin to walk away but Theo catches your wrist and pulls you back; he slips his other arm around your waist and pulls you right to his chest. Your faces almost touch.
Your breath hitches like the traitor that it is.
He pulls your hand up to rest on his chest, where his heart beats hard and erratically. “Does this feel fake to you?” Theo’s fingers dig lightly into your waist. “Do you honestly think that all of that— everything we said and did— meant nothing?”
His breath fans across your face.
Your whole body feels like it’s on fire, and he’s the ice bucket that can save you— but your pride and anger are like the fires of hell; irreparable.
“You took a bet to make me fall for you, Theo, and lucky for you, you won it. How much was I worth, huh?”
He replies almost instantly. “I didn’t take any money, Y/n.” Theo breathes deeply and you feel his chest rise and fall, forcing yours to do the same.
“You— what?” You can feel your resolve cracking, the hope leaking through that somehow you were wrong.
“Let me explain the full story.” He waits for you to give him confirmation; you nod and he continues. “Yes, it started with the bet, and yes, I had never planned for it to last. It was cruel and mean, and I’m sorry. But the thing is, I didn’t anticipate that I would end up falling in love with you right back.” The words feel like a kick to the heart.
“But, on the other hand, how could I not? You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and you’re intelligent and funny, you laugh at all my stupid jokes. You love potions more than any other class and you’re really good at it too.” He stops. “Y/n, you’re perfect and I’m so, so sorry I never told you— or, even worse, that I did it in the first place.”
Your heart skips several beats. “Oh.”
“Oh?”
“Oh.” You’re at a loss for words.
He just looks you over, trying to assess what’s running through your mind like he always does. “Please forgive me, Y/n. I love you so much it hurts.”
You pull away from him and he reluctantly lets go, his shoulders sagging in defeat.
“You’re serious?” You ask quietly. “No bets this time? Nothing you haven’t told me?”
He shakes his head, giving you the saddest, puppy-dog look, unintentionally.
You’re silent for another long moment before, finally, you say: “you love me?”
Theo looks into your eyes. “God, yes.”
“Okay.” You say softly.
He straightens. “Okay, you’ll get back together with me or Okay, I don’t forgive you?”
You hold up one finger and he seems to understand because he pulls you back into him so quickly and presses his lips to mine; you kiss him back, and kind of stand there, kissing, for a long moment. Probably longer than you should’ve.
But you wish he never had to stop.
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