#and this why i have a weird obsession with lan xichen/xue yang

[baoshan-sanren]

Can I? Talk about Lan Xichen? I’m having some Feelings™. Idk what those feelings are but they are Feelings™. I felt bad for him at the end of the show but I also wanted to kick him in the ass a little bit like “how did you not see this???” Also I can’t tell if he’s husband material or not. He’s confusing.

Oh God, you’re gonna regret asking me this.

I’ve been thinking about Lan Xichen A LOT lately espc bc there was that post going around about the top 5 himbos of The Untamed, and ofc Lan Xichen took the #1 himbo spot bc Jin Guangyao played him like a fiddle for 50 episodes. 

But the thing is, I don’t think Lan Xichen is dumb, I think he’s got some serious avoidance issues. This is my theory, and bear with me here cause I’m a psych major and I can’t help myself. I think Lan Xichen’s childhood was pretty shit. Everyone (including Lan Xichen) always focuses on how Lan Wangji felt when his mother died, and how it affected his relationships with other people, but like, Lan Xichen was there too. He’s older than Lan Wangji, so he probably understood a lot more of what was going on, and he was the older brother with absentee parents, and he was probably the one his uncle really focused on since he was the future clan leader, so he had quite a burden to bear at a young age. 

I think Lan Xichen’s everyday motto is basically like I need to lead the clan and be a solid presence for Lan Zhan and be an example to the younger disciples and a comfort/help to my uncle and a morally upright example to the sects at large and… you get what I’m saying? My boy’s got childhood PTSD lingering all over the place and no one sees it. That part in the novel where he gets drunk and his voice changes is a dead giveaway. The dude doesn’t even speak in his natural tone because it’s loud and booming, and we can’t have that, he has to be the soothing one, he has to be the peacemaker, he has to be the shining example of upright behavior, he has to be Lan Xichen who is calm and placid and steady, because if he’s not, then what is he? We talk about Lan Wangji and his strict adherence to the Lan Sect Rules (+ adding another thousand or so, and boy, do I have a field day with that whole psychology of rigid mr. perfect who nevertheless gets drunk every time wei wuxian smiles pretty, but that’s another essay all together) but I think Lan Xichen suffered a lot of damage to his psyche in the childhood, and instead of therapy, he filled all the ragged holes and edges with duty and responsibility and Lan Sect Rules, basically allowing them to complete him as a person.

But no set of rules ever written can make a man complete, and Lan Xichen could be the actual embodiment of moral uprightness, but he’s still a thirty-something year old man who doesn’t know what to do when people he loves let him down. And how could he? He never dealt with the fact that his parents let him down. When he tells Wei Wuxian about his parents, and then asks if Wei Wuxian understands why his father did what he did, that section broke my heart.

Lan XiChen continued, “After the ceremony was completed, my father found a house and locked my mother inside. He found another house and locked himself inside. It was called secluded meditation, but it was in truth to repent.”

He paused before speaking again, “Young Master Wei, can you understand why he did such a thing?”

Wei WuXian answered after a moment of silence, “He could neither forgive the one who killed his teacher nor watch the death of the woman who he loved. He could only marry her to protect her life and force himself not to see her.”

Lan XiChen, “Do you think that this was right?”

Wei WuXian, “I don’t know.”

Lan XiChen looked somewhat lost, “Then, what do you think would be right?”

Wei WuXian, “I don’t know.”

I’m not at all surprised that someone as intelligent as Jin Guangyao so easily found Lan Xichen’s vulnerabilities and exploited the shit out of them. If it wasn’t Jin Guanyao, it would’ve been someone else at a later date. 

So I mostly feel bad for him. Like, a lot. 

[gingersnapwolves]

Follow up fic-related post to my Untamed primer, for those who specifically read this whole thing in order to be able to read my fanfiction! Firstly, I’m flattered. Y’all are amazing. Secondly, here’s a handy dandy list of my fics that might help you get started. (There’s tons and tons of great fanfics in this fandom, though, so you should explore if you feel so inclined!)

First of all, um, I feel compelled to write a disclaimer about all my Xiyao fic lmao. Writing the last two sections of this I was like ‘ugh, Jin Guangyao is the worst’ but like ... he wasn’t always? It feels weird to say, but I ship Lan Xichen with Meng Yao but not Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao. Meng Yao was genuinely treated very poorly all his life and had legitimate reasons to be bitter and resentful, but he didn’t turn into a monster until after his father got a hold of him. I know that not everybody will agree with that! But I just want to say, after writing those last two chunks I wanted to clarify, yes, I write a ton of Xiyao, but it is all based around the idea that although Meng Yao is morally ambiguous and can absolutely be ruthless when necessary, with actual love and support he wouldn’t end up being so terrible, and I love the idea of turning all that conniving cleverness for good instead of evil.

Anyway, moving on!

I’ve written two fanfics that are complete AU, fusions with other media. These might help you get used to reading in the fandom without worrying about all the plot nuances and politics and such.

Like a House on Fire – loose fusion with 9-1-1, characters as first responders, Wangxian and Xiyao

The Weight of the World – fusion with Pacific Rim, Wangxian and Xiyao

Here are the others, by canon divergence point. Worth pointing out, I have actually only written one fic that take place in the latter half of the show (in fact, it’s post canon). Although some of my fics have young Wen Yuan or Jin Ling in them, I don’t generally deal with the 16 year gap because it’s just too damn depressing for me. So sadly, I don’t really write about the juniors. The juniors are great! And I’m sure there are great fics about them! But I’m invested in fix-it fic, which means making sure that 16-year-gap doesn’t happen.

Also probably worth pointing out: the older the fics are, the more likely I was to make factual errors in them. Like in my first fic, I didn’t realize Meng Yao’s mother was dead, because it’s never explicitly mentioned, and in several of my earlier fics I got the pieces of yin iron confused all to hell and back lol. Be kind. XD

Canon diverges prior to or right at the beginning of the timeline:

An Atypical Courtship – Meng Yao becomes a prostitute after his mother dies. Additional bonus AU because Wen Ruohan isn’t evil and there’s no war because I didn’t feel like dealing with it. Mainly Xiyao, background Wangxian.

The Third Young Master of the Qishan Wen – Wei Wuxian is adopted by Wen Qing and Wen Ning’s family, instead of the Jiang sect. This might actually be a good one to start with as it covers almost the entire canon (pre-death canon) but just slightly to the left. Wangxian, Xiyao, Chengqing.

somewhere to belong (WIP!) – Meng Yao stays in Cloud Recesses for the lecture and makes friends. 3zun (the pairing name for Nie Mingjue/Lan Xichen/Meng Yao) and background Wangxian.

Canon diverges prior to the Sunshot Campaign:

hope dangling by a string – Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian end up psychically connected and it prevents a whole host of misunderstandings. Also covers a lot of canon but slightly to the left. Wangxian and Chengqing.

Canon diverges after the Sunshot Campaign:

No More Masks – Meng Yao isn’t legitimized and goes to live at Cloud Recesses after the war. If you want to know why I’m obsessed with Xiyao, this is the fic to read as it’s the one I wrote to specifically indulge. Mainly Xiyao, some Meng Yao/Xue Yang, background Wangxian.

Aftermath – Jiang Yanli kills Jin Guangshan in self defense when he tries to assault her. Without him around after the Sunshot Campaign, everything goes much better. Mostly focuses on the sibling relationships, but also has Xuanli, Wangxian, and a little light Xiyao and Chengqing.

The Lost Cause – Nie Huaisang and Jin Guangyao team up to murder Jin Guangshan. It’s more fun than it should be. Mainly gen, background Wangxian.

the cycle of regret – Lan Wangji gets stuck in a groundhog day loop of trying to save Wei Wuxian just before his death. Wangxian only.

 Canon diverges after Wei Wuxian’s death:

picking up the pieces (WIP!) – Jiang Cheng is killed at the massacre of Nightless City instead of Jiang Yanli. She then convinces Lan Wangji to come live with her at Lotus Pier and raise their kids together. Actually fairly gen, Wangxian later.

The Way it Wasn’t – Jiang Cheng wishes that Wei Wuxian had never existed, only to find out that without him, they lost the war. Wangxian, Xiyao, Chengqing hints.

where do we begin (the rubble or our sins) – Wei Wuxian survives falling off the cliff, resurrects Jiang Yanli, and ends up with amnesia. Wangxian only.

Post canon:

the hardest part of ending (is starting again) – Wen Ning and Lan Xichen comfort each other after going through hell. Mainly gen, hints at future Ningchen, background Wangxian.

again, if you have any questions, either while reading the summaries or while reading any of my fics, feel free to ask me! <3

[inessencedevided]

The Untamed, episode 39 - watching notes

How did this show manage to make me care for these characters in about one episode???

Xue Yang is 100 kinds of creepy

How does he disappear like that? That's a power we haven't seen on this show yet

This whole revenge plot is waaay too convoluted to be only about revenge

Ohoh ... this silence is too ominous

I love how A-Qing still has her rebellious streak, even in death

This is too easy ... he won't die just like this, right?

Holy shit his arm!! 😱😱😱

Um ... sorry but, it's really obvious that the actor just has his arm tugged under his clothes 😅

Whaaaaaaaat???

He's not the guy under the mask???

Who???

Who is that and why does he want the stygian tiger amulet???

I was so sure that that was him

Lan and Jin sword style? I'm wreaking my brain right now who has a strong connection to both, but I'm coming up empty

Oh no, a qing :'(

This is such a brilliant shot! Goosebumps! All over!

And wow

All the awards for song lan's actor 😥

I am ... fascinated by Xue Yang's backstory. Like ... the guy is a goddamn sociopath

With the parallels of his backstory to wwx it's almost like he's wwx without his good heart 😥

So ... all of this is a direct consequence of what happened when they met them in the flashback?

But this isn't how "human affairs" should go or even normally do! Obviously, xue Yang isn't a reliable narrator at all, but all I want to do is wrap Xiao Xingchen in my arms and tell him that not all his good faith in humanity was misplaced 💔

"Stupid, naive, dumb idiots like you, who think the world is a better place just because they did something good!"

But it is!!!! The world on it's own, without humans, isn't inherently good or evil! It is what it is. Good or evil, that's up to us! In the face of the endless indifference of the universe, every act of kindness tips the scale towards a better world!

(Sorry, my atheism is showing)

And that's why I will always have infinitely more respect for the Xiao Xingchens of the world than the cruel and bitter Xue Yangs.

Oh fuck no

No, this will break him, won't it? 😰

Oh no 😭😭😭😭

Oh no

Honey...

"Say something..."

Oh god

Does this show want to set some kind of record for must characters severely traumatised in 50 episodes???

Noooo

No

Fuck

When I wrote that I hadn't seen yet ...

He ... killed himself

I am crying so hard right now and I feel like I haven't even really processed the full tragedy of this arc yet

What is Xue Yang doing?

This is so weird. He honestly looks at Xiao Xingchen like he is a doting husband waiting for him to come home

Ohhh

And now it makes sense that he wanted wwx to restore his soul

And why his soul didn't want to be restored ... because he killed himself. He doesn't want to come back 😥

The way this looks ... that can't be an accident

So NOW he's grieving. Because he can't bring Xiao Xingchen back, can't control him. Xue Yang has such a screwed psychy, it's fascinating ... in a very disturbing way

Wow, he's damaged ...

Oh no ... the candy ... THE CANDY!!!

Holy shit ... what even am I supposed to feel right now? 😨😨😨

Trying to parse that out, I feel like (and this is just my first impressionof thus and my very raw thoughts)... Xiao Xingchen and his kindness they did touch Xue Yang. But he was ill-equipped to deal with whatever feelings they stirred in him, because he had already been so twisted by the world and his own actions. And so he expressed his love the same way he expressed everything: with obsession and the desire to posses and control.

Honestly, I need some more time to really process this ...

They buried A Qing 😭

Oh, Lan Jingyi. I didn't know you had it in you 💚💚💚

Oh god, the Juniors are ALL so soft! 😭

Oh god I want to know so badly. What did Lan Wangji want to say??? "Fortunately... this wasn't us" "Fortunately... you came back to me"? 😭

Omg ... this is a parallel right? From behind they might as well be song lan and Xiao Xingchen!

Oh song lan 💔

The way he takes the pouch 🥺

And Lan Wangji's look. Maybe I'm imagining too much into this but ... if that's not a man intimately aware of what he's going through

"Roam the world. Exorcise evil beings alongside Xingchen."

I can't guys, I'm crying so hard right now 💔💔💔

Holy shit Lan Wangji's actor's performance as he hands him the sword 😭😭😭

IT IS A PARALLEL! 😭😭

look at the screenshot up there again!!

I'm ugly crying so hard right now 😭😭😭

Gimme a moment ...

Tge music in the next scene is really unusual for this show, almost jarring after I've just bawled my eyes out

What is that?

An entrance?

Okay no, not an entrance

Who is that????

Aardgfdgh

The Juniors!!!

The scenery us so pretty :)

Waitwaitwait ... I have a suspicion... no ... nooooo? It can't be ...

The butterfly toy ...

And the comments in the last episode fit, too ... 😳😳😳

OH MY GOOOOOOOD!!!!

The shot of the little flying thing! That's in that restaurant, right??

The comment about remembering stuff from when you're three!

IS HE A YUAN????

@sweetlittlevampire IS HE A YUAN??? 😱😱😱

I'm crying again you guys

Of course he is! It all makes sense

And omg, lan Wangji with the bunny lantern 😭😭😭

And now wwx remembers A Yuan and... the LOOK!!! The song!!! The bunnies!!!

The smile 😭😭😭😭

"Let's buy it" "Okay"

They're a family, you guys!!!! They're a family and I'm ... so ... so emotional!!! 😭😭😭

So much softness between them!!! 💙🖤💙🖤

And wwx smiles as brightly as before this whole mess and ...

Holy shit this episode you guys!!!

First I cry out of sheer devastation and now I feel like my heart is ready to burst!

And it FITS!!!

wangxian got the happy ending Xiao Xingchen and song lan never did. They reunited and even though they spent many years apart they have a real chance now!!!

And this, their child, this is the pay off.

I'm listening to the new album by Nightwish (my favourite band) all the time right now and in their song "How's the heart?" Is this line "now there's one who came from me / A child of light, another tale" and I can't help but think of that right now! The whole song is about how it is worth it, going through the bleak times, fighting through your own darkness because there is light and love at the end of it. It's worth it to keep fighting, just so we can keep meeting others with love. And I can't help but think of little A Yuan/ Lan Sizuhi (and god, I'm almost bursting at the fact that I can write that line!!) As their manifestation of that love. Their "child of light" :')

And even with Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan ... there is this slight hopeful feeling of "we will meet again", if not in this life than in the next ...

Guys, I'm so emotional right now

Sorry for the tengant. It probably doesnt make much sense put in writing 💚

I'm so sad and so happy at the same time ... :')

Oh god, lan Wangji with the lantern is so unimaginably cute!!!

And they gave it to Lan Sizhui!!!

SYMBOLISM!! 😭😭😭

Now, this should be interesting

How much does lan Xichen even know at this point?

Ohhh! That was nie Mingjue in the coffin earlier!

Why is he buried in Yi City???

I'm so confused right now!

(But don't tell me the answers. As always, these are rhetorical questions ;))

Ohhh ...

I have a suspicion about the ghost faced man

And apparently I'm not the only one

He has been "discussing" things with you every single night. Aha 😏

Sorry, this is serious 😬

(This has nothing to do with anything but I paused the stream to type and this was the image I got. I thought i should share :D)

Lan Xichen is so deep in denial

Poor guy

And again with the parallels! There is another Lan who has stuck to someone with a bad reputation and he's standing right there

And jin ling is conveniently reminding us of that 😐

So much drama

OMG!

That was smooth!

No, I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

Just, "Wei-gongze" :D

"Don't take it to heart"

MY HEART!!!

I feel like Lan Wangji isn't the only Lan who will suffer an aneurysm from repressed emotions one day

@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoony @kyrrahbird @i-love-him-on-purpose and @sxnshot (should I tag you again next ep? No hard feelings if not 😊)

Honestly, this ep was the most emotional one for me so far in terms of the whiplash from pain and joy it gave me, though I certainly cried harder at the Yunmeng massacre. The prevailing emotion is joy now, though. I am such a sucker for mismatched, found families and wangxian and their child of light isn't exactly that, I don't know what is. I'm going to sleep with a smile on my face now. 💚