#and to that i say FUUUUCK YOUUUU

[flowerandblood]

Honestly? I'm furious right now.

The people who sent anonymous hate to me and other authors, who still are doing it, who faked half the evidence of Ange and Em screenshots (as a graphic designer I checked it out, wrote a separate post about it), who wrote racist comments and made public photos from a private account on their group changed blog names, blocked half the fandom are shining triumphs.

Gods, people, how blind you are. I've been understanding up to this point, but it's over.

Bel and Fae, my message to you – fuck you. Fuuuuck youuuu. All the rest of the happy bunch – suck my dick. Share my pics, screenshots, whatever you want on your little sad groups. Send me hate. I don't give a fuck. I've never seen a more pathetic group of people.

I'm saying this publicly because, unlike you, I have the balls to say what I think. You will always be stuck in toxic friendships because you can't create others. You will always envy, you will always humiliate. It makes you feel better.

Someday, when you grow up, what will be left in you at the thought of what you did is shame.

[farb3yond]

FIRST LOVE, IN FIVE PARTS.

*Coug* *Cough* Sorry, this blog is a little dusty.

My one caveat for this poem is that it was written to be read out loud to an audience, so reading it here doesn’t quite match the intended effect.

FIRST LOVE, IN FIVE PARTS.

So I have this friend right and I heard he started seeing this girl. So when I met up with him I asked him. I said, “Hey man, how are you? What’s going on with this girl you’re seeing?”

He said,

Our love is a game of hide and seek in the nude. We are both trying desperately to catch a glimpse of the other, but it's hard, because we're terrified of being caught naked. It's a slow dance on a tied-rope strung between ecstasy and destruction. And I’m so nervous I only think about jumping. It's Texting and not texting, Calling and not calling. It's playing games while we're awake, It's falling asleep while facebook stalking. It's the unplanned love-child of hope and fear. And just like the two of us, it didn't ask to be born, but fuck it's here. Like the sunrise on the last day of your life, or that feeling when you look to the left, and you look to the right, And realize that you accidently became an adult. And just like that, what once seemed impossible, Suddenly feels inevitable.

So I was like, “Wow! You're in trouble holmes.”

Anyway I met him again a few months later, and he was a ball of energy! I went to ask him how he was when he interrupted me saying...

The way she makes love shakes my convictions. It makes me cynical of my cynicism, It re-baptizes my beliefs, it revises my revisions There's a subtle safety in her promise, and it provide sanctuary for softness. And within halls filled with the florescence of her essence, I'm resurrecting a part of me I forgot was dead. And with that... One who is so used to punching problems and breaking things, is mending bridges and making things. All because… Her irises blaze like the beacon of a lighthouse, a bright, steadily shifting metronome. Silently saying that all the seas and storms are over, and that you, my love, are finally home.

And I looked at him and I was like, JESUS CHRIST...

He's not such a close friend of mine so we didn't meet till several months later. When we did he wasn’t looking as good as the last time we met. I asked, “How are you man, how is she?”

And he said,”

I don't know man... It's like someone changed the sheets while weren't paying attention, or maybe something changed because we weren't paying attention, or maybe what changed, is we stopped paying attention. Like loving felt so easy I thought I could do it blindfolded, and so I tried. Like giving felt so easy she buried all thoughts of sacrifice, along with any hope of compromise. So now I have a second secret lover, You might know her? Insomnia? I heard she gets around. Thing is though I don't quite like the way she eye-balls my dreams, And in 2 weeks with no sign of HER, and no sign of SLEEP! I'm thinking of sending out a search party, you know: Lost: 'Hopes & Dreams' Last Seen: ‘Somewhere between her broken promises, and my muffled screams.' Till then I'm just injecting every 'hello' with a latent 'goodbye'. As destiny slips through my fingers, and I can't quite figure out 'why?'. I'm locked in this prison of past patterns, though I don't quite understand the crime, I'm forced to kiss the person I love every time, like it might be the last time.

My friend kinda turned into the kind of person you wouldn't want to be friends with after that.  I ran into him this one time and couldn’t get away from him so I awkwardly asked, “Heyyyy how are youuuu…?”

He said,

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUUUCCCKKK FUUUCK FUCK FUCK… fuck…!

And I was like, “…Fuuuuck…”

We didn't speak again for a while. To be honest I feel like no one really heard from him in a while. I suddenly heard he'd crawled out of his cave and was making appearances in public. So I called him up and said we should meet up.

I apologized for what happened saying, “I’m sorry about everything that happened bro, how is she? Do you guys still talk?”

He said,

Yeah... She called me after reading the Fault in our Stars, Talking about love and loss. I said the pages of great books feel like mirrors. chapters feel like memories, and characters; friends. She said don't be so dramatic, it's not like we're dying. But I said anyone who says we're not is lying. This human horror show is a cosmic tragedy with an unoriginal ending. I'm not trying to be condescending, but we're all dying. But when the two of us lived as one we illuminated this reality. We filled its spaces with serenity, and sang songs into its silences. We transmuted its mundane and morphed its melancholies. So it’s almost poetic, that we'd be undone by such trivialities. I'd like to say we were doomed, I'd like to say we were young, But the truth is you were selfish, and I was dumb. So though fate never did us any favors, and our stars are full of shit. We are the unplanned parents of our own destruction, and it’s time we took responsibility for it. I would have loved you for a lifetime, but that's damaged beyond repair, still, don't despair, Perhaps 'almost' can be our 'always'.

[aikl]

bitches be like 'dont self diagnose' but how the fuck am i gonna be able to tell other people without first connecting every dot and coming to a clear and obvious conclusion??

[nbrook29]

robbe 1️⃣8️⃣

Warning: This is smutty, proceed with caution if it’s not your jam ;)

ao3

If anybody asked Robbe, bad weather in the summer should be illegal. Because what the hell? He needs sun rays and blue sky like he needs oxygen, he wants 30+ degrees temperatures and not a single cloud above, and he always welcomes it with all the small inconveniences it brings along, like clammy skin mere minutes after showering or freckles covering his nose and arms. So when it’s August and it’s raining, sorry, pouring buckets, sue him if he turns into a whiny mess for a bit. That’s just who he is.

Or, that’s who he was. Because right now, lying on a soft cloud-like throw blanket in a not-his t-shirt and sweatpants, head a mess of wild damp curls, fuzzy socks on his feet tangled with another pair, he’s feeling pretty good.

Even though the original scenario for his birthday was supposed to be different.

It all started at 12:00 am sharp with a dorky text from Sander because of course it did.

Sander: Hey there you sexy thing

Heard you're legal now 👅 

Robbe: Omg sander 🙈 

Sander: Yes, that's what you'll be screaming today during our own little celebration 😈

 Robbe almost spat out the water he was drinking, face burning hot as he tried to assess whether anybody was paying him any attention.

 Robbe: SHSHDHSHSJSJS STOP 

Sander: I'll do that thing you like 😏👅 

Robbe: IM WITH MY PARENTS DICKHEAD 

Sander: Am I bothering you cutie? 😏 

Robbe: Yessssss 😩 my face is all red they're gonna know what's up 

Sander: I think *I* know what is up 😏🍆 

Robbe: 🤣 GO COOL OFF 

Sander: Hehe

No but for real now

Happy birthday! 🥰🥳😘❤🎂

I love you SO much ❤❤❤💯 

Robbe: Thank youuuu baby 😊😘 

Sander: Can't believe you're an adult *wipes a tear*

You'll always be my baby tho ❤ 

Robbe: Haha yes ❤❤ 

Sander: I'll be waiting for you at 4 pm 

Robbe: But where?? 

Sander: 😌 

Robbe: Sanderrr tell me 

Sander: Nope 

Goodnight 😌

 Sander absolutely loves to tease him and keep him at the edge of the seat which is why he told him the place only half an hour before their meeting, for which Robbe intended to tell him off. That is until he actually got to Park Spoor Noord and saw his boyfriend lounging on grass, blanket underneath him, surrounded by Robbe’s favorite food and wearing the most charming smile as soon as their eyes met.

And he got him a sunflower. A sunflower. How cute is that?

Needless to say, there was no telling off, Robbe didn’t exactly find time for it between kisses and laughs and Sander feeding him croques and fries and cupcakes (which Sander baked and decorated himself, swearing for dear life the small thingies made from frosting on top were not dicks, but Robbe knows him too well to believe him).

And then all hell broke loose and the storm that had been loudly talked about in the media came to Antwerp and made a puddle out of the two of them.

They looked really miserable, but somehow Robbe couldn’t care less as they were running to Sander’s house holding hands, water in their shoes, the sunflower cradled carefully underneath his shirt, huge smiles on their faces as they finally got there, tripping in their haste to get inside.

The hot shower that followed next and Sander taking the lead oh so well will definitely rank in the top 5 moments of Robbe’s life. He’s very grateful Sander’s parents are on holiday in London because he’s not sure he’d ever be able to look them in the eyes otherwise.

Afterwards, Sander made them ice coffee and handed Robbe his real gift which turned out to be a long weekend in Paris a week from now, shutting him up with a kiss when Robbe was about to protest and complain about it being too expensive.

Since the concert they were supposed to go to was canceled due to poor weather conditions, they resorted to eating cake in Sander’s bed and watching the show Robbe had been talking about for weeks now. Sander, being the thoughtful and amazing boyfriend that he is, graciously agreed to Robbe’s birthday wish and sat him down between his legs, kissed the side of his face, brought his laptop closer and pressed play, as Robbe made himself comfy in his arms, the smile that originated at midnight not slipping off even for a second.

***

Another thunder strikes the night sky and Robbe jumps involuntarily, only a little, more from shock than actual fear, but it doesn’t stop Sander from tightening his arms around him, lips grazing delicately the lobe of his ear.

“Don’t worry, Robin, I will protect you,” he whispers with a teasing note in his voice, grunting when a well-aimed elbow meets his side.

“Shut up, I’m not scared.”

Sander’s only reply is a low chuckle and a kiss on that sweet spot under Robbe’s ear that never fails to send a shiver down his spine. Without barely having to move at all considering how close they are, he tilts his head and noses along Sander’s defined jaw, leaving a peck or two on his cheek.

“Now shush, I can’t focus.” He unceremoniously turns away from Sander’s searching lips, a sly grin on his face when he hears an affronted huff.

“Oh I see how it is, you-”

“Shhhh, Wille is talking.”

Robbe loves to be a little shit sometimes, especially if he wants to get a certain reaction from his huffy other half.

“Look how cute he is.” He has to press his lips hard to keep the giggle in when Sander whines in protest.

“Stoooop, why are you being mean to me.” He now has a full-blown pout on his face. “Jerk.”

The laughter finally comes out and Robbe pauses the show, cooing at Sander’s little frowny face and brushing the runaway strands away from his forehead, leaning up to press a kiss there too.

“It’s okay, I still think you’re the cutest prince in the entire kingdom.” He runs a thumb over his jutting lower lip, kissing it once, twice, three times, until the corners of Sander’s mouth pull up.

“Whatever. Simon is cuter than the other one anyway.”

Robbe grins cheekily. “You just think that because he has curly hair like me.” Sander’s jaw drops at that.

“Wow,” he exclaims, voice faux-scandalous as he shakes his head at Robbe. “Someone’s cocky today.” 

“It’s my birthday so it’s allowed.” Winking at him obnoxiously, he turns back to the screen, hands reaching for Sander’s arms to wrap them around himself again as he settles in his embrace with a content sigh before pressing play.

Sander’s quiet behind him for a second, and then his lips touch his ear again, tongue slightly peeking out to play and lick the shell of his ear with just the tip, hot air hitting Robbe’s skin turning his insides into mush, butchering his focus again just as Sander purrs, “I think it’s hot when you’re like that.”

There’s something important happening on screen, but Robbe can’t make any sense of the subtitles because Sander’s lips continue their path down the column of his throat, stopping for a second to suck a kiss in the middle, killing any rational thought Robbe might have had. His hand rushes to Sander’s head to keep him there without his permission, eyes closing as he sighs when the kiss turns into licks and nips to the thin skin.

“Do you think he could kiss you and touch you like that?”

The question breaks the fog in Robbe’s brain for a second, and he barks a laugh at the slight possessiveness in Sander’s voice that’s poorly hidden under a joking tone. 

“Like what?” He presses, excitement bubbling in his stomach when one of Sander’s hands sneaks underneath his t-shirt, fingers grazing the skin and leaving goosebumps in their wake as they finally reach the place Robbe needs them most. 

“Like that.” He flicks his nipple with those black-polish covered nails of his that make him look so hot Robbe’s head spins. “For starters.” He keeps it up, tugging and pinching unhurriedly, with a dirty smirk growing on his face that Robbe can just feel on his collarbone, and he pulls on his hair as he arches his back a little, seeking more of those skillful fingers.

With his hooded eyes, he can see Sander closing the laptop and putting it away quickly before his other hand joins in the fun, a featherlight touch to the growing bulge in his sweatpants, nothing more than teasing for now.

When Sander’s teeth tug at his earring, Robbe lets out a frustrated whine because it’s too much and not enough at the same time, and his boyfriend reads him like a book because he pulls the t-shirt off him to gain full access, mouth latching on his neglected nipple just as his hand dives inside his pants. It doesn’t grant him any relief though, bypassing his dick completely and traveling lower, caressing the soft skin, one finger running back and forth without reaching any further, and Robbe grabs Sander’s thigh in desperation.

“Sander...”

“You didn’t answer me,” Sander whispers in a sweet sweet voice.

“Whaa?” It takes a second for Robbe to understand what he’s asking and he would laugh if his body wasn’t on fire, Sander playing him like a violin.

Also, this playful possessiveness is getting to him, whether he likes it or not.

He does though. Like it.

Oh fuck, he likes it so much.

“Tell me, baby,” Sander breathes into his mouth as he reaches for something Robbe doesn’t see, and he can hear in his voice how it affects him too, can feel him against his lower back, rubbing himself off with minuscule moves, clearly struggling to hold back. 

“You, just you-, fuuuuck,” Robbe’s cut off when two lubed fingers press inside him at the confession, back arching slightly, the feeling so intense he keens and searches blindly for Sander’s lips. Thankfully, Sander doesn’t waste any time and plunges his tongue inside his mouth, swallowing the little whines that escape them with each twist of his fingers.

The rocking behind him gets faster and this is not how Robbe wants this to end so he breaks the kiss, ignoring Sander’s protests as he pulls away from him, only to pull his pants off completely, green eyes following his every move like he’s ready to pounce, and the need inside Robbe’s stomach only grows. He tugs impatiently at Sander’s sweatpants, biting his lip when his hard cock slaps his abdomen, the smirk dancing on Sander’s lips at his reaction liquefying his insides and he crawls closer to him, needing his touch to ground him. 

“You’re still good to go?” He loves how even when it’s hot and heavy Sander still remembers to check in with him.

“Uh-huh,” is the only thing he can come up with now, especially when Sander’s hand settles on his hip bringing them so close there’s no space left between them, guiding his movements just like Robbe likes. He kisses his glistening neck, licking the sweat of his body as Robbe reaches behind to position his slick cock at his entrance, forehead resting against Sander’s as he sinks down fast.

He gasps at the feeling of fullness because it’s always a lot, but Sander’s hands are always there, brushing his sides in a comforting motion, even when his own body is probably screaming at him to move.

“Happy birthday to me,” Robbe lets out a shaky chuckle that ends up in a gasp when Sander laughs too and involuntarily moves inside him. He’s quick to lick into his lips and distract him from the momentary discomfort, and once he’s done with him, the overwhelming need is back double force. 

Sander notices right away, guiding Robbe’s hips to keep grinding for a while before planting his feet on the bed and holding them in place giving several hard jabs that make Robbe hide his face in his neck, cries leaving his mouth with each thrust.

“Like that?”

Robbe just nods helplessly, mouth leaving a wet trail on his skin, but Sander doesn’t seem to mind because he continues his pace, completely taking over once Robbe’s thighs give out and turning him into a mess.

“You’re so hot like this, fuck.” The strain in Sander’s voice tells him he’s getting close so he goes back to bouncing, meeting him in the middle, and it only takes a minute for things to become too much, Sander’s uncoordinated jerks when he’s coming triggering Robbe’s orgasm too.

They stay like that, cooling off while kissing lazily, tongues sliding against each other, but without a rush for now.

Sander pulls back first, their lips smacking when they disconnect. "I'm sorry today didn't work out." Scrunching up his face, he reaches to comb through Robbe's hair consolingly. He leans into the touch before cuddling even closer, seeking warmth when the cold air makes goosebumps appear on his heated skin.

"But I loved today, really. We can go to a concert another time." He kisses the underside of his jaw, sighing dreamily. "And I can't wait for Paris with you."

[skullsnsunbeams]

Please enjoy part 2 my commentary of Outer Banks (you can find part 1 here)! Disclaimer: I started this show because I wanted to see all the hype was; I won't lie, I thought it was dumb and cliche throughout most of it. However, since I've finished I can safely say that I NEED A SECOND SEASON BC HOLY FUCK BRO. Don't come at me for MY OPINIONS, & also, most of what I say is in the spur of the moment. If you wanna come talk to me about the show I will GLADLY DO SO.

Ep. 6

• I don't trust Ward, jot that down

• John B is gonna be blinded

• FUCK OFF WARD YOU'RE NOT SLICK

• I WANNA GO AAAAWWWWF

• But now John B is actually on the property so that might be beneficial?

• Lana said fuck the feds and I did too

• BARRY BETTER BEAT RAFE'S ASS

• It's what he deserves :)

• THE CURTAIN JUST MOVED AND KIE SAW IT

• FUCK YEAH KIE SLAP HIS ASS

• Did he just

• He just slapped her back

• MOSQUITOS MEAN WATER

• YUPPPP THERE WE GO POPE KNOWS

• This is deadass the goonies

• "You love the idea of me" YESSSSS SARAH

• YES WARD CHOKE HIS BITCHASS OUT

• "WHERE'S THE BEACH!?"

• It's actually not okay but okay

• Yes he DID say that

• Desgusten

• RAFE IS GONNA STEAL MONEY FROM HIS DAD AND JOHN B IS GONNA BE BLAMED

• AHAHAHAHAH CAUGHT EM

• I love Pope sm

• Adina is that bitch, man

• Barry's gonna get his ass beat by Ward

• I knew it

• THERE'S WARD'S SHORT FUSE

• RAFE YOUR DADDY IS A PSYCHO

• KARMA, BABY, KARMA

• They're gonna trap Sarah and Kie on the boat?

• That's a got damn STING

• Why are they holding the blunt like a cigarette?

• What a shitty fucking person you are, Sarah. That's fucked up.

• SHE CALLED THE COPS I'M CACKLING

• They're gonna get caught by the scary lady

• "Weed? I could go for some weed" same, JJ

• JJ and Pope being assholes about John B and Sarah is my aesthetic

• NO NO NO WHY HER EYES LOOK LIKE THAT

• She's blind, duh

• Gross gross gross

• He's gonna catch something

• Wait does Corona virus exist in the OBX universe?

• "Any dead bodies?" Does the jaw bone he found count?

• That's shit he's covered in shit THAT'S GOLD THAT'S FUCKING GOLD

• JANIE'S GOT A GUN

• This is so cute but I know it's gonna blow up in their faces

Ep. 7

• I hate Ward he's such a sneaky bastard

• He's gonna take him out to sea and MURDER HIM

• or at least, like, warn him

• HE'S SUCH A GOOD LIAR

• Our boy Barry, he's gonna stir some shit up

• I knew it, pretending to be a cop tho?

• John B is B'ing dumb again

• Maybe not

• JJ NOOO

• CRAIN ESTATE IS FOR SALE

• AND WARD IS GONNA BUY IT

• JJ just wants his dad's approval

• THAT'S FOR HIS RESTITUTION

• How did ik this was gonna happen

• I hate his dad

• ahhhhh I WANNA HUG HIIIIIM

• Sarah do be bailin

• She said FUCK VULNERABILITY and to that I say SAME

• Those candles are gonna cause a fire. Old church? The Outsiders vibes

• Did they not just say they were gonna wait? And then immediately fuck? Okay.

• He spent his restitution money. He did exactly what he fought his dad about.

• He needs a hug so bad

• Thank you for hugging him Kie

• GUESS WHO'S CRYING

• ME IT'S ME

• Mr. Cameron, sir, you are operating a motor vehicle whilst drinking. You're providing a minor with alcohol. You should not be the Grand Knight of Rhododendron!!!

• Ward is an eavesdropping little shitfuck

• Blah blah blah all I'm hearing is a rich man trying to get the gold

• "Equitable split" sir you Didn't Find The Gold therefore You Do Not Get A Cut

• FINALLY JOHN B IS BEING SMART

• WARD JUST SNITCHED ON HIMSELF

• WARD KNOWS ABOUT THE DISAPPEARANCE

• Well, son, the sheriff already kinda knows

• What's he gonna do

• THE GAFFING HOOK

Ep. 8

• Ward is literally psycho so that's fun

• WHAT IS THIS SHOW

• HE STOPPED THE HOOK WITH HIS CAST I'M DEEEAAAD

• This turned into Parasite all of a sudden

• And this right here, folks, is called anxiety

• I love GTA

• Ward is actually psychotic

• "Ward you just got involved" just like his daughter did

• Fuck HE KILLED HIM FUCK YOU WARD

• AND HE DIDN'T CALL ANYONE WHAT A CUUUUNT I'M SO MAD

• BIG JOHN IS A LEGEND

• Ow my heart 🥺

• Ward is a big fat liar!!!!!!

• Oh my god JOHN B GONE CRAZY

• Sarah really switched up like that, huh? Shady bitch

• Where's DCS throughout all of this?

• He's doin a lil memorial I'M SAAAAD

• Pope deserves better!!!

• The gold is gone, just watch

• YUP I KNEW IT

• FUCK YOU WARD

• I feel so bad for Pope's dad bc he's had to work hard too, man

• Going to the Bahamas?????????

• Fuck Rafe

• BLAH BLAH BLAH NO ONE LIKES YOUUUU

• Pope whhhyyyy are you telling these PEOPLE ABOUT THE GOLD

• Oh shiiiit Susan knows about OTHER dirty cops

• I hope the plane crashes :)

• WARD IS A PIECE OF SHIIIIIIT

• SUE YEEEES

• John B's nod should not have been sexy

• RAFE YOU SONOFABITCH

• LIKE FATHER LIKE SON!!!!!!!

Ep. 9

• WARD. IS. A. PSYCHO.

• HOW IRONIC THAT RAFE'S TRUCK HAS A BLUE LIVES MATTER FLAG ON THE BACK WINDOW RHSJDJDBDNDH

• Pope is finally letting it out and I'M SO GLAD FOR HIM

• I shouldn't be laughing about Shoupe complaining about the regulator

• Ward really is a psycho

• FUCK THE POLICE

• All teenagers want is their parents' approval and that makes me saaaaaad

• Why do I wanna hug Rafe rn

• HE'S LIKE, NEVER GOTTEN A HUG IN HIS LIFE BEFORE???????

• OW MY HEART

• When the main character becomes a fugitive with a bounty 🥰

• Sarah isn't gonna do shiiiiit

• "What's gonna happen to Rafe?" Nothing. Because he's a rich white boy who can get away with anything bc of his daddy's money and power.

• They better not do a cliff hanger and make us wait til next season

• Rafe is delusional

• "He's a maniac" Pot, meet kettle

• Whose house is this?

• How are you gonna tell him to get out of your house and then chase him when he's trying to leave

• Pope high is amazing

• AW MY BABY

• He deserves the world and more

• NO PLEASE DON'T CRRRRYYYYY

• Topper is gonna let John B go, isn't he?

• He really locked his daughter in her room like Rapunzel

• "Hey Top, hey man, it's John B, hey" HE'S SUCH A LOSER LMAOOOO

• "My bad" My bad!?!??

• They're arguing over what word to use

• This is kinda gay ngl

• THIS FAKE CRYING EJDBEUSHEH SARAH

• Wheezie better not fuck this up bro or I s2g

• TOPPER DEF LET JOHN B OUT I WILL HOLLER

• I think Rafe is gonna get shot

• I hate this

• THE VEEEEENT

• I love rooting for a criminal

• SNITCHES GETS STITCHES, BITCHES

• Topper is gonna switch up on the Kooks and actually help out I bet

• RAFE NEEDS TO BE INSTITUTIONALIZED EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY

• TOPPER IS WEARING THE HOODIE

• THAT'S HOW HE PROVED HIS LOVE FOR HERRR

Ep. 10

• Aw John B

• Pope said FUCK FEELINGS

• Tf is SBI

• State bureau of investigation, got it

• NO, WARD NEEDS TO BEAR RESPONSIBILITY BC IT IS. HIS. FAULT.

• "Idk how to fix it" kill yourself, easy

• Sell? You mean lie. Rich people logic amirite??

• RAFE HAS VOICES IN HIS HEAD HE'S GONE OFF THE DEEP END

• The officer better know the truth

• WARD IS A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR

• The SBI agent sees right through Ward

• I hate this bastard

• FUCK YEAH

• Rafe is TWEAKIN

• Barry to the rescue?

• "I done worse, I was in the army" LMAOOOO

• Nvm Barry is still trash

• TRASH STICKS WITH TRASH

• They're GONE occifer

• AND THE THUNDER ROOLLLLS

• My heart is hurting so bad rn

• Is he gonna give himself up rn?

• I hate when JJ cries

• AHHHHHHHH HIS EYES OPENED AND I GOT SCARED

• OW MY FUCKIN HEART

• Shoupe is a pussy ass bitch too

• Pause, smoke break

• Lessgo

• He's gonna wait for the keys to be close to the car

• CALLED IT

• That was *chef's kiss*

• This is not good

• YEEEEES POPE

• NOOOOOO POPE

• VENGEANCE

• Holy shit

• Okay I'm gonna say it

• This GOT GOOD

• NO MORE CLICHES

• Holy fuuuuck

• If we get a second season, I wanna see Rafe destroyed

• Woah okay

• JJ is third wheel

• This is crazy

• STOP WASTING TIME

• This is all funny bc these kids are 16 and they think they're in love

• I GASPED OMG

• What did this turn into

• There's a cliche!!!

• Holy fuckitnenehehe

• Fuck you Ward

• He's gonna do it

• Ewwww "I'd rather die than be without you"

• What in the ever living hell

• Fuck fuck fuck

• And JJ is left alone

• OH MY GOD IM CRYING

• Holy. Fucking. Shit.

[bxlldog]

[discord screenshot. ghostly bot says: fuk youu. fuuuumckk you. fuck yoooou. f-fuk youuuu. fuck yooou. fuck you. fuck you. fuuuuck chu. fuck youuuu. fuk you. fuck yuu. f-fuck youu. i 'm-m so angwwyy y-you so wuckyy mah f-fwee weed smoowkin gurlfwends r wubbing mwy shooouwdows toooo c-cawm mwe dooown i 'm so m-mad. ^w^]

[analyzingadventure]

OKAY I TOOK MY SWEET ASS TIME, LET’S WATCH PSI EP 4!

I know there’s gonna be evolution sequences and insert songs and I am hyped, let’s go

Looking away from the opening preview to avoid spoilers wheeeeeee

OH YEAH TSUYOGATTE TOBINOTTE KAZE NI NATTEEEE- I can’t believe how much this song has grown on me lol

[Jurasic Park theme] Holy fucking shit’s it’s a dinosaur jesus christ what the fuuuuck djfkhjsfh

AGUMON I MISSED YOUUUU also hmm, this quick shot has a very familiar off-model look to it... Masahiro Naoi, is that you?

“Taichi where are we, overseas?” jdfhkjhfgkjsghjkshdfg HOW DID YOU COME TO THIS CONCLUSION SORA, HONEY DFHKJ

Sora is so chill about Agumon wtf lmao, oh man I’m sorry but I miss the screams of horror and confusion from the first episode of Adventure but I need to stop harping on that real bad

Attempted to translate that but I actually can’t figure out what it reads for the life of me- like it says “tada mo ochiyo, himiri moshiusu, chi haki are” and rusty as my Japanese may be, the middle sentence doesn’t have any real words and and the other two don’t really form actual sentences... F

OH WAIT, THE CODE IS JUST WRITTEN WRONG LMFAO DJSFHKJGSJDFG (I mean it’s either that or my DigiCode chart is fucked, but considdering I was able to read Cyber Sleuth just fine with this chart I wanna say mine is correct)

You two have a loooong ass hike to the Mountain

PIYOMON!! I COULD RECOGNIZE THAT VOICE ANYWHERE! Poor baby is being bullied

I am really interested in learning more about how the partner Digimon feel about being roped into the quest to save the world... That’s the kinda thing I would write about

TENTOMON!!! AAAA IDK why but seeing the Digimon is making me feel like a baby watching Adventure for the first time again, I’m weak lol

NGL like while Sora’s OG hat is iconic, the new cap she was wearing looks way better on her and matches the rest of her outfit better

Ah, Piyomon knows about Sora...

Ah, a raft.... Oh seeeeven, try to be free~

[Saws theme]

HOL FUCK THAT EVOLUTION

HOLY FUCK THAT WAS AMAZING

HOLY FUCK

FUCK

AAAAAA

Oh Greymon swimming was cute BUT OMG THE EVOLUTION

Okay so. I’m not feeling any kind of a bond between Sora and Piyomon and her immidiate reaction to jump in to save Piyomon feels... Weird to me. Like in Adventure seeing the kids jump in made sense because way before we’d see that happen with each child, we also saw the Digimon throw themselves RECKLESSLY at whatever was trying to hurt the kids. The kids had a reason to care about their partners because they knew that for some unknown reason, the Digimon already loved them and that was moving.    But in Psi there isn’t a connection like that here, and while with Taichi I can easily forgive him pulling off something like that because “he’s the brave one”... Like I just don’t buy it with Sora. It just feels like stock writing that the characters are going through, not because they have an emotional reason or a motivation, but because “that’s what they’re supposed to do”    (Also we spent a lot of time just seeing the kids bond with the Digimon over the course of a lot of time so the extra time to interact also helped a lot, Psi hasn’t had that so far)

LET’S GOO BIRDDRAMON

EVOLUTION (battle?) THEME LET’S GOOOOOOOO

I’m sure Be the Winner will grown on me but I definitely prefer and miss Brave Heart rn (but I respect the choise to give us a new song, and I’ll take it over nothing)

Birdramon gets taxi duty, nice

ORGEMON!! MY BOY!!! MY DARLING!!! I HEARD YOUR VA RETURNED TO REPRISE YOUR ROLE AAAAAAA oh he doesn’t get to talk, boo

WHAMON, DON’T EAT RANDOM PEOPLE IN THE NET, THAT’S RUDE

Oh fuck the episode ended, lmao crap

Preview time, let’s a gooo (oooh the next episode is titled “Holy Digimon” ohohohoohohho that sounds good)

Ah nothing new in the preview, oh well

Welp beyond my complaints about a small thing in the writing, it was fine! Shockingly uneventful to be honest, I feel like very little happened in this episode? IDK comparing to Birddramon’s introduction episode in Adventure at least it felt very uneventful

Still, it was fine! A-ok!

[nctrenjunie]

Perfect lips~ Johnny (M)

Author: Sera

Genre: Smut

Comment: So guys, I know this took ages and if I´m honest, I´m not that proud about this one so I´m sorry I really don´t know why I had so much difficulties with this request. The anon who requested that I´m sorry if you don´t like it and if you want to request something new don´t hesitate :(

Request:

Johnny adored the way you swiftly moved your body over the workplace, filling up already used coffee cups with more of the dark brown fluid. He kept his gaze securely on you as you walked back to the counter with a tray full of empty cups. Opening the back door for you he followed behind you into the kitchen. He looked up the surroundings, the kitchen was empty except of you and him, cleaning the dishes silently. A comfortable silence it was. The little coffee shop both of you work at has always been a quite place. it was already late and the shop wasn't that full since it was almost closing time. 

He thought about telling you earlier, you, his best friend, that he fell in love with you but he just couldn't get the courage together to tell you. Still, he promised himself to do it today. It wasn't only the lack of courage but also the timing. He was pretty sure it isn't a one sided crush. Both of you have been friends since kindergarten, did everything together and even shared each other's first kiss in high school at someones birthday party. Even tho he knew the first shared kiss was only because of a dumb game the second one both of you shared last week was more intimate.

He remembered it clearly, not like you who wasn't sober enough to remember it. It was after the monthly employee reunion you had in the tiny coffee shop when you and some other co workers might have had a little to much of the red wine all of you shared. Knowing you arrived your limit as you stumbled around the kitchen Johnny picked you up, saying goodbyes to the others before leaving the shop.

“Oh what do I do with you Y/N. You never know your limits do you?”

“...stop nagging...I-I drank the same amount as..youuuu.”

“Well yes but you are tiny in comparison to me so obviously you get drunk if you drink as much as I drank today.”

Ignoring the way you pouted at his comment about the height gap between both of you Johnny kept nagging about your drinking habits until he finally arrived at your home. He laid you own the couch, turning his back to you as he looked for your painkillers.

“Ahhhh you are such an asshole Johnny...You with your broad shoulders and thousand meters of height...good, my god or should I ask satan? Why the hell is my best friend so hand...handsome.”

Johnny laughed at your drunk comment making his way to you with a glass of water and the painkillers he found in your bag. Gulping down the water and the pill you put the glass down on the coffee table before looking up to Johnny. You get up swaying, taking your best friends face in both of your hands before sitting down on his lap. The alcohol you had made you see him swirly, faintly; still, he looked fucking hot.

 “I-I didn't mean it as a joke...your..your face is a joke. Fuck youre gorgeous. Like, did you look in the mirror??”

You tilt your head eyeing Johnny while he starts to get serious, noticing that you are in fact not lying but just telling the truth in your drunken state. He puts his hands on your hips, looking into your eyes to look for some kind of amusement in them.

“Fuuuuck,I-I shouldn't think like that about my...my best friend”

You make a big break, letting your arms fall on his shoulders.

“But your fucking lips are fucking gorgeous and I really want to kiss them...even tho..you are a asshole but I also love you...somehow.”

Johnny is taken back by your words, seeing that you're not joking, he knew you too well to know you weren't. He kept his eyes fixed on you while you looked up at the ceiling, to distracted by the moving ceiling to look at him as he suddenly crashed his lips against yours. He pulled back, noticing what he did until you took his face back into your hands, locking your eyes with his before kissing him back softly. It went all way to fast, leaving you both out of breath from the beginning to the end of the kiss. You looked at him lovingly as you eyes slowly closed. 

“you are allowed to love me too if you want and if you don't...just forget it because I probably will...and...and I think it's gonna be hella embara-”

His alarm brought him back out of his thoughts, still remembering how you drifted into a long sleep. Looking at the clock he went out of the kitchen, closing the shop before leaving out a sigh from his tiredness and his worries about confessing tonight. It was already dark but the city still illuminated by all the neon lights. He took a last breath before heading into the kitchen to join you. Joining you silently next to the sink he smiled down at how small you looked next to him. You noticed looking up at him with a pout making him laugh and pat your head before bringing his head back down to dry the dishes.

“Yahh you're always making fun of me but you're the real joke here you...fucking giant.”

“You're always complaining about my height but once you need the cereal from the top of the shelf you come back to me asking for my help.”

You scuff at his comment, flustered a little by his words while going back to washing the dishes. Silence storms back over both of you and Johnny looks around again, preparing himself for what's to come. He looks down at you with a nervous smile before finally speaking up.

“Y/N you know, there's something I have to tell you…” 

You look up at him, nodding to him for him to continue as you dry your hands. Your ringtone suddenly goes up before he can speak out his other words.  You look at him apologizing while whispering a small “Just a second” before picking up. Johnny nods back to you, moving his head down and cursing a small “shit” under his breath. Noticing the confused noises you let out Johnny looks back at you seeing your even more confused facial expression. Asking you silently whos on the phone and what's going on you answer the caller with a “Yes, yes well be there in half an hour.” before hanging up and sighing loud. 

“Fuck, do you know what we forgot, my friends birthday. She just asked where we at, we should hurry up.”

Remembering the birthday of your mutual friend Johnny also leaves out a sigh before getting ready as well as you. Finally locking up the shop you join him in the car before driving down the road. The drive is silent as you look down on your phone while Johnny drives. Looking up you eye him from the side, admiring his beautiful features that are aesthetically brought out by the bright street lights in the dark night. You don't notice him stop the car at a red light until he looks to you. Your eyes meet before you panicky look down on your phone again. Getting flustered from your reaction Johnny remembers what he wanted to tell you earlier.

“ Y/N about the thing that I wanted to tell you earlier...I- how should I put..I lo-”

The last two words he wanted to say out loud were interrupted, again, this time by a loud honk from the car behind whilst the driver from the car next to him cussed at him, telling him to fucking move since the lights changed to green. With an annoying look Johnny cusses back at them before he continues to drive the car.

Looking at him a little shocked and how tensed he appeared you where about to ask if everything is okay but before you could mention it both of you arrived at your friends house. Silently entering the house both of you were greeted by bright party lights and the smell of alcohol. Your friend the greeted you both with a hug and a cheeky smile that was mostly like this because of the already consumed alcohol in her body. Dragging both of you into the living room you were greeted by more people. A mildly cold beer was pressed in your palm as you sat down with Johnny next to your right side. Johnny didn't lose his goal out of his mind, frequently eyeing you while you talked to some people seated in the round until he could find a good excuse to talk to you privately. The first attempt to ask you if you could talk for a minute failed as a guy introduced himself to you and the second one failed as the same guy pushed him away, setting himself between both of them before continuing his talk with you.

Trying out to figure out the situation Johnny sat silently next to both of you, witnessing the pitiful flirt attempts the boy next to him tried on you. He noticed the smile that was plastered on your lips even tho it looked a little awkward. too plastic to be real. He knew you wouldn't be interested in this neve wrecking guy you were talking to, could you? Doubt filled Johnnys mind as he kept looking at you, not even hiding the jealous gaze he had on both of you anymore. You noticed how Johnnys eyes glittered as you tried to get a hold of his gaze to see if he could help you to get out of this conversation. Still, he seemed like hypnotized as he watched both of you, his hand gripping tighter around the glass bottle he held. Johnny decided it was finally enough as he saw the guys hand slowly trace over your knee, noticing how uncomfortable your small appearance looked. Slamming the bottle beer on the little table in front of him he stood up, grabbing you by your arm.

“Don't touch her, if you didn't get the message from her looks now you know, shes mine.”

You looked at him shocked as he spoke out his words with gritted teeth to the guy before pulling you along into one of the empty rooms. Locking the door behind both of you he slammed you against the wall, looking at your perplexed face from his temper. Yes you were shocked but it also turned you extremely on seeing him angry, eyes filled with jealousy, possessiveness and lust. From behind the door you could hear your friend calling, bringing you to look to the door. Suddenly smashing his left hand into the wall next to you his other one moves up to your chin to move it in his direction. Your attention is back on him as you he lowers his head so you could feel his hot breath against your lips. Here you are again, looking down at his perfect pink lips, drifting away in your thoughts as you feel yourself getting filled with lust. Your gaze moved back to him again as you felt his knee suddenly rub between your legs against your core to get your attention.

“Fuck Y/N, is it so hard to get your attention? I've been asking for it the whole day yet you always get distracted by something else but once I put my knee between your thighs you finally react. Do I have your attention now baby girl?”

You are taken aback by his words, feeling arousal drive thru your body as you look up at him. Johnny notices the change in your eyes as he starts to rub his knee against your core, looking how you try to suppress small whimpers whilst closing your eyes and pressing your lips together.

“You like that? I didn't know you were so dirty baby. Getting wet from feeling my knee rub against your core and listening to my words.” 

You didn't know too, how easily he could turn you on. Johnny smirked at your small self. Loving the fact that he was way bigger than you and from up here he had the perfect view of your face. He put his hands on your waist whilst keeping the movement of his knee against your core in a comfortable pace. The way you laid your head against the wall gave him the perfect access to your neck as he started to lick on it before leaving little love bites on your skin. He then switched to soft kisses that were sill rough enough to leave purple hickeys on your skin. You left out a loud moan, feeling your pussy getting wetter by every second that passed.

“Baby, I didn't know such lewd noises could leave your mouth. Don't hesitate baby, keep on moaning so I can listen to those not so innocent soft noises.”

Your shy self crumbled away as you started to let your moans freely fill the room whilst Johnnys hands started to undress you little by little until you stood naked in front of him. He seemed king of intimidating, all clothes still on his giant body and his broad shoulders. 

“Lay on the bed baby, I'm going to take good care of you.”

He smirked down at you before you made your way to the bed, eyeing him as he undressed himself. The warmth from his body wasn't that long gone since he joined you on the bed, pulling your body close to his. No words were spoken as you wrapped your hands around his shoulders whilst sweet sloppy kisses were placed all over your torso. You could feel his big dick against your thigh. How could this possibly fit into you? Johnny elegantly moved his long slender fingers over your body, down to your core before tracing them over your wet slit. 

“Can I baby?” You nodded, feeling his thumb touch over your clit, putting pressure on it. Naughty moans you didn't know your mouth could produce spilled out of your mouth, feeling the pressure against your clit and one finger slowly entering your hole. You moaned out his name as he pulled the finger out again. Repeating it slowly you felt yourself being on the edge of your orgasm. Before you could cum you pulled your arm down to your core, holding his hand still in his movements. Johnny looked down at you questionably.

“I-I want to cum with you.”

A Big smile plastered over his lips, hearing your words. Kissing your cheek he started to palm his already aroused member, throwing his head back and leaving out a pair of groans. He pulled you closer, one hand on your cheek and the other one securely wrapped around your waist as he positioned his member in front of your hole.

“Are you sure you want to do it? I know it's your first time honey, we can stop if you aren't ready yet?”

You loved how caring he was but right now it just annoyed you. Looking at the way his pink perfect lips spoke out words you wondered why they haven't been on your lips yet.

“I'm ready, and I want to do it now. So please fuck me and crash your perfect fucking lips against mine.”

With your words Johnny slowly entered you, feeling how tight you were around him. Moving slowly inside of you he crashes his lips finally against yours, making the pain from your first time slip away faster as you concentrate on the feeling of his lips against yours. Johnny waits a moment before he keeps on moving, waiting for your allowance as you whisper against his lips.

“Yes, yes you can move baby but don't leave my lips.”

With a smirk Johnny starts to move himself back out and in again, repeating his movements whilst both of your moans hit each other through the kisses you share. Soon the pleasure takes over all the pain and all that's left is loved lust that fills your body. You want more, shocked at yourself but to caught up in the moment to care. Red marks are starting to splatter his back as you trace your fingernails over his back, pulling him closer whilst his lips are still the closest to you, carefully glued to yours. You ask him to go harder, wanting to feel him even more. His hips ram into you as you feel yourself back at the edge. With two more thrusts you move your mouth away from his, moaning out his name as you cum. Johnny kisses your temple as he keeps thrusting inside of you. Suddenly moving all out of you, he palms his dick before white cum spills all over your core. 

Johnny kisses you one last time before laying down next to you, taking your sweaty body in his arms. 

“The thing I wanted to tell you Y/N, I-”

“I love you Johnny.”

“Are you fucking kidding me now, I mean yes I do too but I was about to confess. Why is always something interrupting me? Ahh fuck it.”

[sinistralcentaur]

kill yourself

Y’know I’ve tried so many times. I’m just so bad at it. I think I’ll live for a while, instead. My mom succeeded, though. The morning after my birthday in my room. *softly whispers fuuuuck youuuu for hiding behind that grey face to say shit to someone when you have noooo idea what the fuck they’ve been through* People in your life would be so ashamed of how fucked this is and the way you treat people while cowardice protects you.

[chubby-boy-world]

undefined

-          What the fuck are you looking at? -          Just what I was wondering -          Well… Don’t! -          Don’t? Don’t wonder? -          Uh-huh. -          It would be a dull world without wonder. -          I don’t give a shit about your world! -          I don´t like your brassiere. -          I don’t like your mustache. -          I don´t like your aura. -          My aura? -          Yeah! -          I don’t like your… head. Your entirely head is just ridiculous to me. -          Really? -          You look like an alcoholic former weatherman. -          You sound like a lost little lamb that just got told there’s no Santa Claus. -          What sort of cartoon character did your mum have to fuck to brew you up in the womb? -          At least I look like I was born, not shit out by some tormented cow creature in an underground lab. -          You got tossed out of that lab. -          Oh, yeah? -          Oh yeah! Flushed out. -          Ooooh! -          In the trash! Your face is a fucking… -          Fucking? -          Fucking biological car crash that made Picasso screw his eyes up and say, “Well, that just don’t make sense.” -          Hahahahahahaha You’re fucking asshole. -          Fuck you! -          Fuck you next Wednesday. -          Fuck you for Christmas! -          Fuuuuck youuuu! (both are screaming at the same time).

[solstice-catacombs]

YOU FUCKING BEAMED SCOTTY UP, YOU MONSTERS | Mirai | 1-1

They trudge into the room with eyes even more tired than usual, face streaked with some blood that was likely not there before. Before they can even speak to address that fact, Festum-α explodes. Oh. Okay. We’re exploding planets now. They jump and just point up at Oberon, resisting every urge to leap out of their podium and attack him. No sense getting double punished for harming him AND leaving their seat right off the bat.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUUUUUU!? WHAT THE FUUUUUCK! I KNOW YOU DID THAT, SOMEHOW, BITCH! MOTHERFUCKER. SHITHEAD. ASSHOLE. FUCK YOU. FUUUUCK YOUUUU!”

They gesture at Oberon... very colourfully. It puncutates their language quite well. Once they've had their fill of that, they gesture to their own face.

“And BEFORE ANYONE SAYS IT. Yeah. I know it's there. I'll fucking explain why later.”

Well, guess that’s settled. Anyways. Their arms are crossed and they’re furiously tapping a foot like it’s the only thing stopping them from yelling at everyone and hoping the culprit got scared enough to confess. They are pointedly looking around the room, at everyone and everything BUT the Holo Scotty next to them. They don’t know if they can handle that without exploding right now.

“We should try to like. I don’t know. Get a timeline down or some shit. If we figure out what happened when we probably got a better shot at figuring out who the fuck done it. Who, what, when, where, how that shit. The Five W’s. The why doesn’t matter because it was probably 'cause of Oberon’s stupid bluff. Why would he demand we do this like some kind of fucked up murder game and then just let us all die off the bat? Come on. I'm not mad at you for getting scared but I sure as fuck am disappointed that you believed that shit. And I am also actually a little mad at you for killing Warwick, so.”

Grumble grumble mumble mumble. Cranky because you don’t wanna play detective, arent’cha Mirai.

“Anyways. Timeline. Fuck if I could tell you exactly when, but there was some fuck shit going on outside my room last night. Just some kind of noise I heard after waking up 'cause I've been sleeping like shit here. At the time, I figured ‘ah, what the hell, I’m probably not the only one who isn’t sleeping well right now I’m going the fuck back to bed’ but I’m starting to think that could be important, somehow.”

[ratkingdnd]

Chapter Thirty Two - Sucked off by a goana

Buffalo looks down, still hanging onto the rope. The rope was under less stress with only one person on it now. Buffalo could see his friends at the bottom of the cellar looking at the moving blob on the bottom and starts to move down, slowly descending the rope. Ned stares at the slime - “Hello?”, the slime continues to move around in a circle, not paying any attention to the heroes at all. Dolgan says “Ductu” in a low voice, a thin glow appears over Scaly as he feels a little more powerful. Buffalo looks around and sees roots creeping up the sides of the walls, he draws his bows and shoots three arrows, evenly spaced. Each one sinks into a root, giving a faint glow in each arrow, slightly lighting up the room. Scaly, feeling buff says “Suffer in sulphur!” yelling at the black slime and suddenly it stops moving. “What did you do?” asks Ned, “It thinks it’s in a lava pit at the moment, it’s in it’s own head/body/slime…whatever”. “Yeah..right, pretty full on man” Ned responds as the heroes look on the Slime shaking in front of them.

Ned raises his tuning fork, the chime of opening and bangs it on the floor. He then points it at the slime. The slime starts to quiver, almost in time with the ringing of the chime. Ned walks closer and closer towards the slime and attempts to touch it with the ringing chime. As soon as the chime touches the slime it starts to suck it in, Ned tries to pull it out, but the slimes strength was overwhelming and starts to suck Ned in too. Before a couple of seconds, Ned and the chime were floating inside of the slime, motionless. Scaly’s spell was still going and suddenly Ned could shake the feeling that he was in a lava pit and start’s frantically trying to escape, but he couldn’t, he was stuck just like the slime.

Dolgan holds his hand out at Scaly and says “Give me a bolt”, Scaly pulls one out and hands it over. Dolgan ties some rope to the bolt and walks over to the slime slowly, being careful not to touch it. He raises the bolt and stabs it into the slime. He manages to stab it in without touching it at all and pulls back on the rope - the bolt was firmly in, but was also being sucked in slowly too. Buffalo walks over to a part of the slime, that was protruding out a little and uses his short sword to slice a piece of it off. A piece of the slime falls off and the slime almost starts to bubble, it bloats a little and suddenly starts moving again. Buffalo looks back at Scaly and Scaly responds “It still thinks it’s in the lava pit, no idea why it’s moving”. Buffalo follows the slime with his sword and stabs it in, spinning it, trying to bore a hole inside of it. The slime starts to bloat again, rising and falling like a bullfrogs throat, pustules start to burst all over it and green slime starts to pour out from the pustules. Buffalo feels his sword being pulled in and manages to yank it out before it was too far in.

Scaly watches the blob and continues his psychic onslaught, even with Ned suffering the same fate inside of the blob. Scaly pulls out his crossbow and shoots a bolt directly into the slime. The blob absorbs the bolt and starts to bloat once more, the pustules open up and gas hisses out, right before green ooze continues out. This time the bloating doesn’t go down and the slime seems to get larger and larger, occupying almost double it’s previous size. As it expands into the free space, Buffalo finds himself being run over by it’s body and suddenly Ned isn’t the only one stuck inside the slime. 

Dolgan yells “TELO LUMEN!” as a bolt of light flies out of his cross, flying across the room and striking the black ooze. The black ooze shakes, visibly hurt by the spell. Buffalo starts to struggle inside the slime, twisting and squirming his body, breaking out of the slime and escaping, catching his breath. Buffalo looks at Dolgan and says “Throw your stone at it when you get a chance, then I’ll follow up with two arrows” and Dolgan nods. Dolgan looks towards Scaly and says “Stop the spell” and Scaly snaps out of it, releasing the slime and Ned from their psychic prisons. Scaly shakes his head and throws his palms out, shooting a fireball out and hitting the slime. The slime reacts and pulls Ned through it’s body until he’s on the outskirts. The slime uses Ned and slams down on the ground next to Ned attempting to attack him but misses and instead just throws Ned out of it’s body. Ned looks up, visibly shaken and short of breath.  

Buffalo says “Now!” and Dolgan throws his obsidian rock, the rock opens up a hole for a second in the slime and Buffalo reacts in that short moment, shooting a force arrow into the hole opening the wound up even further. Buffalo follows that up with another arrow, one that he had prepared in the Shadowfell. An arrow with an exploding potion strapped to the end of it. The arrow flies through the hole just before the wound closes over. The heroes watch on to see the arrow explode in the middle of the slime, the slime expands to a huge size and back to its original within a split second, but it was still in one piece. The slime starts leaking green ooze again and almost seems to revel in it’s own juices. The heroes follow up with a quick series of attacks - Scaly creates a lightning storm above it’s head, Ned smashes his tuning fork into a crossbow bolt and the ooze becomes more of a puddle on the ground, Buffalo shoots another two arrows into the slime and it starts leaking ooze once more, coating itself over with it’s ooze from it’s pustules. The slime makes another attack, slamming the ground with an extension of it’s body. As the slime hits the ground, the heroes hear a “Ting!” and a gem flies out onto the ground.  

Scaly takes another shot with his crossbow, the pustules leak again. Ned says to Dolgan “Gimme your rock”, Dolgan hands it over and Ned starts tying his tuning fork to it, but before making the last knot, the rock disappears from his hand and re-appears in Dolgan’s hand. Ned looks up and Dolgan shrugs saying “I don’t know man, it just always comes back”. The blob lashes out another arm straight into Ned. Ned attempts to ignore it, wearing the bludgeoning to his chest and throwing the tuning fork into the air - Dolgan takes the opportunity and hits it with his hammer. The tuning fork smashes into pieces, ringing it out loudly, echoing and reverberating throughout the circular room in a cacophony of sound. The ooze turns into even more of a puddle, almost completely covering the ground. It ripples like a stone thrown into a calm pond.

Buffalo raises his arm slowly in the air saying “Spica Incrementum” as spikes appear in a large area underneath the puddle, the spikes poking through the blobs now puddle-ish body. Scaly runs up to the blob with his sword drawn, but before he can make an attack, he falls over, slipping in the ooze. The blob’s pustule re-appear and shoot green ooze out again, covering it’s body as it rises back to it’s original size. It makes an attack on Buffalo, whacking him with it’s blobby hand, hitting him in the side as another gem flies out. Dolgan raises his hammer, imbuing it with all of his strength and magic into one strike, smashing it deep into the ooze - so much so that the metal of his hammer clangs into the ground underneath the ooze. Splattering it all over the walls, the heroes, and the roots. One last gem, remains of the ooze on the ground. Dolgan walks over and picks it up.

Buffalo grabs a vial that he had leftover from the Shadowfell and scoops up some of the ooze. The heroes all slowly make their way back up the rope, one at a time to reduce any stress and get back to the top, crawling back to the door so as to avoid the phase spiders and back into sunlight. They make their way back down into the courtyard and see Gurvaash. “What was in the cellar?” he asks. “A black puddle of ooze” responds Buffalo holding up the vial, we got rid of it though. “Ahhhh a leftover of the alchemists chemicals no doubt, brought to life by the explosion I assume”. “We’re going to head out to do some other stuff, but can we come back?” asks Ned, “I have no problem with that” says Gurvaash and they walk out the drawbridge again.

The heroes decide to walk over to the airship, a few gems under their belt and gusto in their stride now that they had a small place of residence in the forest. They arrive not too long after leaving the castle and a rock flies down next to Ned. Ned looks to his side, “What the hell?”, another rock flies down, this time next to Buffalo. “Ummm..” says Dolgan, as a hail of rocks start crashing down upon them. They look up and see tens of little goblins standing in the crashed airship, strewn across multiple trees stuck in the canopy, pitching rocks down. “Fuuuuck offfffff” comes the shrill shrieks of what seemed like the leader of the goblins, the heroes look around themselves and find that they are surrounded by goblins. “Stop! We don’t want to, but if we have to, we will kill all of you” says Ned, “YOUUUU AND WHAT ARRRMMMYYYYY” shrieks the goblin leader. Ned picks up his axe and chops a goblin in half in one shot. The other goblins back off. “I’ll do more if I have to” says Ned, “Just relax and no one else gets hurt”.

  “What are you doing here?” asks Buffalo. “We crash landed here. Our air elementals escaped somehow” the goblin looks around menacingly at his goblin group. “We run a shipping company from our airship, but have been stuck in these GOD FORSAKEN FOREST for TOO LONG!” the goblin’s shrieks echo through the trees. “If you can get us back the air elementals, we can get ourselves out of this forest and back to work” says the goblin, “What if we find the goblins, will you let us run this ship?”, the goblin laughs, spitting on the ground. “We will give you safe passage out of the woods, that is it. Bring back the elementals, then we will talk” says the screaming goblin. The heroes turn around, arms over each other’s shoulders, “If we want to find these air elementals, they’ll be up in at least the canopies. There’s no way in hell they’d stay here on the ground. We’ve got to look for considerably windy places” says Raish. “I don’t know about you guys, but I am heavily invested in finding these elementals and taking their ship” says Buffalo, “Why don’t we go and ask Gurvaash, he’s not far away and would probably know a lot more about them”

.  The heroes return to the keep and see Gurvaash, “Do you know where the air elementals are?” asks Buffalo. “I have no idea” responds Gurvaash, not really paying attention to the group. “What about the Wickerman Village, do you know about them?” says Buffalo, “Oh yes, they’re Wickerman and they have a village up north” says Gurvaash. “Okay, thanks for the information Gurvaash” Buffalo says flippantly as the heroes walk away. “I think we should head to the Wickerman Village, we have some gold now so we can get some things, we can also ask them about the air elementals” says Buffalo as they walk back out of the keep once more. The heroes decide to walk directly north of the keep, hoping to come across the air elementals on the way to the Wickerman Village, but they are stopped short in their tracks not a couple of hours out. A large cave entrance with left over clothes strewn across the entry was in front of them. 

[drabblemesilly]

Matthew Tkachuk #5

Requested by Anon(s):

1.  More matthew tkachuk I beg of youuuu. Maybe it could be about giving him concert tickets for his birthday? Your last of him was absolutely fantastic [Thank you so so much!! I hope you like this one. I’m not sure if this is the one you wanted but I hope you still enjoy!:)]

2.  Could yo do a matt tkachuk one where you surprise him for his birthday? [Here it is!! Enjoy!!:)]

Word count: 1, 092

The cake looked like it was a love child of a red brick and mud. Needless to say, your first foray into birthday cake making has been a bust. At least you can cook a mean spaghetti and meatballs, if it really comes down to party food. Or tacos – but those are still to be judged.

The cake, though. Ugh, it’s taking all of your self-control not to smash your face in it and wallow in self-pity. He’s going to be home in a few minutes and you have nothing to show him for his birthday because you went in over your head. Damn it, you should have just reserved a table at your favorite restaurant like he told you and not try your hand at this surprise birthday dinner thing.

The front door opened and closed and you managed a steady breath – and not shove the cake into the garbage bin – before you heard Matthew’s voice echo throughout your house.

“Babe,” he yelled from the foyer, “are you ready? Let me just change, okay?” you heard him go up the stairs and into your room.

You looked at the romantic setup you did on the patio and let out a resigned sigh. Your food can taste as bad as you think it will but at least the patio looks like it was taken out of a Pinterest board so that’s definitely a yay.

Mattew called from the room and you assumed that he just read the note you left on the bed, along with a new game day suit you had tailored for him. You can still recite the note from memory, “wear this suit like it’s a Flames versus Oilers game and come down to the patio. Your gift is waiting. ;)”

Running your hand on the invisible creases on your dress, you took the plates of salad – appetizers because your foolish self thought you can serve a four course dinner – and placed them on the table at the backyard.

Then you downed a glass of wine, just because.

Fuuuuck. Why are you even nervous? Your hands are clammy like you’re some seventh grader going to her first school dance. You’re also breathing heavily like you just got locked up in a closet with your all-time crush.

This is just dinner. With your boyfriend. Not the president of the United States of America.

You’ve smelled his farts and popped his backne. You’ll be fine.

Stop acting like this is the first time he’ll taste your cooking because if he can survive the disaster that was your all-beef burger, he can survive your cake apocalypse.

You heard footsteps descend the stairs and you just about vomited all over the carpet.

Is it too late to call your mom?

Maybe you can just get takeout? Indian food sounds amazing right now.

Finally, the broad-shouldered hockey softie rounded the corner, wearing his new suit with his hair combed to perfection.

He stopped and almost backtracked when he saw you, a smirk automatically forming on his lips, “I mean, if you’re the gift then yes,” he chuckled, walking slowly over to you, “I’ll take it,” he whispered, stopping a feet or two away. He raised his hand and cupped your cheek, “wow,” he said in a gently voice, “you look beautiful.”

You managed a small smile, casting some of the worries aside, “happy birthday, Mat-mat.”

He nodded once, “happy birthday indeed,” he said before kissing you swiftly.

When he finally pulled back, you stepped aside and waited until he noticed the open doors that led to your back porch. He stared at your backyard for a few beats before looking back at you.

Before he can even say something, you stood behind him and started pushing him forward and outside, “now I know when you told me to surprise you, you were referring to the restaurant reservations,” you said hurriedly, “but I had this crazy idea of doing a romantic dinner at home,” you sniggered awkwardly, “what I lack in cooking skills, I made up with my decorating skills, I promise,” you laughed.

You stopped just outside and stood beside him, looking out at the strung fairy lights, the wooden table and chairs, the flowers you managed to pick up this afternoon. Hell, you even did an arc thing. This is straight up an Anthropologie catalogue pictorial shit and you’re damn proud of yourself.

You looked up at Matt to gauge his reaction, “I don’t know if your lack of reaction is a good thing or a bad thing,” you chuckled.

Looking down at you, you realized that your boyfriend – the guy who’s been logging penalty minutes like they’re minutes on ice – had tears in his eyes, “you did this for me?”

You nodded, “I wouldn’t do it for anyone else,” you told him, “don’t be fooled though, the cake looks like it was made by a baby.”

“I’ll eat it,” he said with a definite tone.

“The steak may also be as hard as a rock.”

“Probably the best steak I will ever have in my entire life.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” you laughed.

Mattie’s expressions softened, his gaze fixed on you, before pulling you into him, hugging you close. You felt him kiss the top of your head before leaning down to kiss your nose. Leaning even farther, kissing you on the lips tenderly, “I love you.”

You stood on your tiptoes and gave him another kiss, “say that again after the cake.”

Matt shook his head, “still probably would.”

“I love you too,” you chuckled, “you’re amazing and you deserve everything, Mattie. Happy birthday.”

He chuckled, “best birthday ever.”

“Uh, uh, uh,” you laughed, pointing to his side of the table, “it’s not even the best part yet.”

“Is the cake the best part?” he sniggered.

Rolling your eyes, you pulled him to the table and waited as he picked the passes that you tucked under the plate earlier.

“Oh no, oh no, oh no,” he mumbled as he read and reread the passes, “you got me tickets?” he asked, a look of awe on his face.

You shrugged, “I may or may not have called and stalked people for those,” you told him with a snort. You tapped the tickets with your finger, “VIP because you’re the VIP of my heart,” you winked, “I know you wanted to go to your favorite band’s show in Edmonton but you couldn’t get tickets so I looked for them for you.”

He grinned, “I love you.”

“I know,” you cackled, “I love you too.”