#and usually when white ppl say that shit i just brush it off but she might be onto something

[privatelife]

also im like really tempted to do my own ancestry thing cause i wanna know my exact statistics ya know obviously dna disperses differently so like im so curious now... but that shit's expensive AND they'd have my dna on file? idk man

[eats-the-stars]

ok so i’m probably not going to word this the best, but I think I’ve finally convinced my bro-in-law-to-be (white, straight) that he can’t keep making homophobic/racist jokes around the house or out in public. and for context, he’s actually not a very racist/homophobic dude, but when he hangs out with his dude friends (a group that includes one gay dude, a bi guy, and a black guy) they all tend to throw around those kind of jokes in good humor. which is fine if they’re out laughing it up or whatever. but...not around the house, when none of those people are present to reciprocate.

and the bro-in-law-to-be has explained over and over that “my gay/black friend was the one who said this joke so it’s cool for me to tell it” but...his gay friend is not here to laugh at the joke. his black friend is not here to laugh at his joke. The only people in this house are me (white nonbinary ace or lesbian i’m still figuring it out, also autistic), my sister (white, bi), and our straight white dad who is very racist/homophobic but usually keeps it on the down low since he knows that we do not share his views and WILL debate him if he makes a nasty comment.

So our dad is usually quiet about his messed up thoughts...UNLESS someone says something to indicate “Hey, I’m racist/homophobic, just like you!” and makes it a safe space to suddenly start talking about “the Chinese virus” or “businesses should be allowed to refuse service to gays” and all this other horrible stuff, which then means that my sister and I have to go through another grueling debate with our dad about how “eugenics is bad” and “refusing to bake a cake leads to refusing to lease an apartment and it’s a slippery slope” and EVERY TIME the bro-in-law-to-be has been like “wow i didn’t know your dad thought those things” while my sister and I are like “AND WE WOULDN’T HAVE TO HAVE THIS ARGUMENT AGAIN IF YOU STOPPED TELLING THESE JOKES AND ENCOURAGING HIM TO BE OPENLY RACIST/HOMOPHOBIC.”

I can’t believe we had to explain to my bro-in-law-to-be that ppl who are racist/homophobic keep an ear out for these kind of jokes in order to recognize each other. A joke is the safest way for them to test the waters. If it’s poorly received, they can just brush it off and go “oh it was just a joke, guys, it wasn’t serious, I don’t really think those things, haha.” BUT it also provides the option for ppl to laugh and go “oh yes, that’s a good joke, i’ll tell you an equally horrible joke to prove that i share your beliefs.” and BAM, they’ve identified a fellow racist/homophobe/etc. and now know that they can talk openly in front of this person, or look to them for support if an argument breaks out. And then suddenly the space you’re in has the potential to become very ugly very fast if the majority of people signal that they’re comfortable with this, and then, if you’re a person who doesn’t agree, you have to either step up and try to shut that shit down and potentially put yourself at risk (which can range from actual physical risk to the emotional/mental damage that comes with listening to someone say terrible things about a group you belong to).

And my bro-in-law-to-be has the luxury of not belonging to any of these groups. Which means that if he makes a stupid joke at the wrong time that lights the racist/homophobic/ableist fire in the room, he’s not at risk of getting burnt. At most he’s going to be uncomfortable or feel like “wow that’s horrible” but he won’t actually be at RISK in the same way my sister and I will be. The way anyone else in that room who’s black or gay or autistic will be once he starts that ball rolling.

And right now we’re trying to focus on him not starting those fires inside our house, around our dad. Because my sister and I have tried very hard over the years to try to talk our dad out of a lot of his shitty mindsets and it’s slow progress, but we’ve managed to convince him of small things over time. he’s a lot less ableist and sexist, for example. Those were easier to work on because he has three daughters (us) and we milked that angle hard, and because I’m autistic, which we also milked hard since i was able to convince him to look at me as having expertise about disabilities that made him value my opinion. We’ve also made strides on the homophobia front, too. If I ever figure out that i like girls (still working on that) and actually date a girl, I think he would be uncomfortable at first, but he wouldn’t reject me as his daughter or anything. likewise, if my sister (bi) broke up w/her boyfriend and started dating a girl, he would probably accept that. We know this mostly because our dad apparently thought that our youngest sis (the irony is she’s the only straight one) was dating her bff in high school and was cool with it. Might have a harder time if, like, his grandson turned out to be gay (he’s more accepting of lesbians/wlw??), but we’re working on it, and we got him to accept using our trans friend’s chosen name and pronouns instead of his deadname, which took time (i’m still not out to him as nonbinary, tho. my sister and online peeps are the only ppl who know right now). So we’ve made progress!

But THEN my bro-in-law has to throw dad a bone with these lame jokes that are uncomfortable to hear coming out of his mouth in the first place (why is it always a cis straight white guy who thinks he can tell any kind of joke as long as he “doesn’t mean it”?) and so this has brought back a lot of those old beliefs in our dad that we’ve been trying to smother. These last few years under Trump have already set him back, ngl, but bro-in-law-to-be was not helping.

it’s also so hard to try fighting racism in our dad, partly because our area is so white and most of our POC friends don’t live here anymore (so far our best success is directly exposing him to a person belonging to the group he hates, and slowly letting him see that they’re human. he’s so non-confrontational that he’s not going to say anything in front of the person, either, and we supervise the whole time, and inform our friend beforehand–our trans friend volunteered to help us previously). and you can’t just say “black lives matter because they’re human beings with intrinsic value equal to a white life” because...he’s racist. he’ll debate you all day or say “ok ok” and let the subject drop w/out changing his mind. you literally have to force him to regularly have positive reactions w/a real life person to change him. god...it’s like training a dog or exposure therapy or something but it’s the best we’ve got. it’s not like there’s a school where u can send ur racist parents to learn human decency.

and it’s hard because he’s our dad and we love him and it’s hard to look at someone you love and know that he believes that straight white abled lives have more intrinsic value than anyone else...just because. i hate that we live in a society where so many ppl hate each other for these things. and it’s just...up to everyone else in their lives to decide to do anything about it. and even then, it’s so hard. and our dad is just one person, and we’ve had years and the benefit of him loving us enough to listen. i can’t imagine trying to reform a stranger, or tons of ppl all at once...

[lucefrs]

[ snoop dogg vc ] greetings loved ones ! yes im referencing songs from 2010 , if u see me having a mental breakdown about 2020 marking the end of the decade it’s fine jus look the other way x anyways , hi hey i’m tasha and i’m v excited to be here ! lit rally trying to think of a fun fact abt myself , but my brains rly like no thoughts head empty .. but uk who cld tell u a lot of facts abt themselves ? my bb luce ! amazing segway ik .. without further ado ...

⌠ ALANA CHAMPION, 21, CIS FEMALE, SHE/HER ⌡ welcome to gallagher academy, LUCIE ‘LUCE’ FREAR! originally hailing from BELFAST, IRELAND, they were exposed to too much during the protest, and the academy is now in charge of their safe care. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of wrinkled charity shop tees adorning bands she’s never heard of, a rushed manicure on calloused fingers and a wash of mottled purple hues under her eyes. when it’s the aries’s birthday on 4/3/1998, on the bad nights they request their FRIES WITH EXTRA SALT from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re safe in witness protection.

backstory .

lucie was born in northern ireland to a middle-class family , very involved in one another’s lives ! growing up she was engrossed in american culture , through music mostly .. through bruce springsteen mostly .. but also all the super-american teen tv like 90210, the oc, gossip girl etc ... 

thus, she was pretty dead set on moving to america asap , because rationale ? realistic expectation ? she has none of that . zero , zilch . she’s always been pretty fiercely independent , making her way and winding up in sticky situations more often than not , but that’s also kind of the way she was raised , a v much drifting in n out one another’s lives , running into ur pop at the pub , deep chats at 2am when ma’s up knitting for wtvr reason and she comes stumbling in red-eyed n heartbroken by another guy in a shitty indie band . 

so while there were def tears shed when her family saw her off at the airport , they were emotionally supportive , even if they cldn’t be financially supportive n that honestly still means the world 2 her . she misses them a lot , cries abt it sometimes rip . how did she have the money to hop the pond ? well . she didn’t .. she’d saved enough ( odd jobs here ‘n there ) for the plane ticket , n bnbs for a couple of months n figured she’d wing the rest of it , had no plans of going to college 

her inability to hold a job made her reconsider , she spent way 2 much time talking to the customers , or going off with them which wld always lead to a spat w/ her superiors , probably always in the wrong , but that wouldn’t stop her from parting w/ some poorly constructed rant abt how capitalism was ruining everything , def the type of gurl to get whatever she knows abt marx from tumblr dfghjk

uk when walter white calls jesse and asks if he has plans and he’s like yeah ... and then walt roasts him n says eating cheetos watching porn and masturbating does not count as plans .. a direct @ at miss luce . but in the midst of that n endless swiping on tinder n seeking arrangements , she gets a sugar daddy . iconic , her mind . uses the pleading eyes emoji like pay for my tuition pwease n thats how she ends up at georgetown 

she gives school her best effort but she can’t commit 2 shit , so she’s kinda just vibing there , skipping classes whenever , going to all these events n eventually winds up befriending a lot of the protesters , b/c she sees the passion n purpose they have n is just kinda hoping some of it will rub off on her . a bit broken up abt the deaths , but also feels like a fraud b/c she was just there , n all the protesters r like in it in it , n she’s somehow got them to believe she’s in it in it too n she wants to be but also like , she just wants to be the lead in an all girls folk-rock-synth band so . has never dealt with death in any capacity so she’s a bit like .. how does one compute this

personality & physicality . 

she's an aries sun , libra moon which is literally described as ‘ rebellious without a cause ‘ and i’d say that sums her up p well . her passion is intense as heck but short lived , she’s flighty and fidgety .

however, she’s super amiable , will talk with anyone . doesn’t rly shut up tbh . n therefore , makes friends pretty easily n is as much as a survival tool as it is just a positive trait to have .

definitely a go big or go home person . w/ everything includin lov , falls in love 456784 times a day , hozier’s someone new is her anthem . she tends to wring ppl a lil bit dry too fast too soon , comes on too strong , falls too fast n hits the ground equally as hard , then does it all again . a vicious cycle tbh .

plays guitar n writes songs , sings at local open mics . has great stage presence but always gets on stage when she’s had one too many , while leaves her ad-libbing half the songs she’s singing n sometimes crying , n saying fuck u to her old bosses and old flames ( one in the same ? / who knowz ) .

kinda feral sometimes , shld probably brush her hair more often . always wearing last night’s make up , never dresses boring  thinks of it as a cardinal sin to dress boring . looks at this lil gallagher stint as an adventure .. miss has a big storm coming

 *wipes sweat from my brow like spongebob* why do i feel like i’ve written so much and yet none of it is of substance .. a nightmare , it’s rl and im living it . but ! pls pls pls feel free to slide into my dms or discord and plot , i’m truly up for anything luce’s great in the way that she’s practically a blank canvas for anything so ! i look forward to plotting with y’all <3

[boojersey]

VIC DO ALL THE ASKS BC I LOVE U AND WANT U TO HAVE FUN

*SWEATS* AYE AYE CAPN

cw for like some common lgbt+ topics such as dysphoria violence discrimination etc just. tread carefully if u get triggered easily by bad lgbt experiences

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns? -im a gay trans man and my pronouns are he/him but they/them is also acceptable!

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?-oh wow i originally thought i was a lesbian because i didnt even know what transgender was i just thought wishing i was a man meant i was butch and then i met my friend donnie in eighth grade who told me he was trans and it was kinda a huge slap in the face but with a sack of gay bricks? and i found out i dont like women through actually having sex with cis women and finally realizing it. really wasnt for me so now im just a gay man as opposed to queer as an umbrella term but i periodically refer to myself as such

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?-oh yea i literally was misgendered today i just kinda brush it off but it can be hard sometimes especially when people know im trans and do it

Who was the first person you told, how did they react?-i first told donnie about my gender, it was a thing where i went to bed the night i met him and was like  .. wait holy fuck and then the next day i was like BRO HOLY FUCK but sexuality? i dont really know???? it was so long ago it was honestly probably my group of friends on kik that i had in 2013 (u were included in that mister!!!!)

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?-im not actually fully out but the first time someone who was an adult knew about my trans-ness was what really set in for me the fact that i could come out one day; my friends mom referred to me as seance (and like. obviously she respected my gender she has a trans kid) but it was just super jarring bc no adult had known yet abt my identity in any way and as a result i was rlly glad it was nighttime in that car bc i cried almost immediately; the first time i came out on my Own was to my cousin and he laughed in my face so that was pretty damn awful and its kinda funny cuz the bastard is bi so u would think hed have been accepting but n0pe!

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react?-im out to my friends now ! and the reception was generally positive bc i think i do an ok job at picking ppl to be around in terms of morals so there was little bad reception

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?-i hate when ppl ask if im gay as in for men or gay as in for women because im trans, i am a man so when i say im gay i feel like that should be easy enough to put 2 and 2 together but when they ask that i feel as if they still view me as a woman

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.-emo of the gods themselves it is absolute scene and emo vomit and i love it; its seriously hard for me to wear dresses and skirts without dysphoria and just general discomfort but i own a couple anyway bc theyre cute i just. never wear them

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?-my main thing at the moment is gerard/frank/grant morrison bc i love poly fics very dearly and gerard/bert because bert mccracken deserved better than gerawrds internalized homophobia lol

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?-makeup to me is an androgynous thing so i wear eyeshadow a lot and lipstick sometimes, eyeshadow is easier on my eyes than eyeliner bc im allergic to a lot of makeup thats on the heavier side so if i put on eyeliner my eyes will water and burn throughout the day but with eyeshadow im mostly ok; other opinion is that makeup on Anyone can be sexy as hell if they do it for fun and wear literally what they truly want and not just what they think is accepted or what they Should wear

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?-oh yeah my dysphoria is pretty debilitating if im gonna be honest; i used to have very little problems with it because my hold on reality was loose at best (before i was medicated to clarify) but now that i am almost completely Here my dysphoria is pretty bad and even just like. the knowledge that i have breasts is pretty awful; a few weeks ago i put on an outfit that i have to wear a victorias secret bra to fit properly in and just one look in the mirror had me sobbing and i had to change my clothes before i could leave the house and i havent worn a bra since because just the thought of showing off my chest makes this stark fuckin dread shoot through my veins but i also have dysphoria in regards to my voice that i discussed at my last trans therapy group meeting actually ; my voice has a tendency to bounce around my octave range so sometimes ill be like. excited then hear what i sound like. and ruin it for myself immediately u kno? im not even gonna talk about my dicksphoria bc thats just. awful. 

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?-ohhhhhhhh my god u know what? ive heard..so much .. that im gonna instead take this opportunity to mention my mother genuinely thinks dnd is satanic

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-the fact that were so strong. we are so fucking strong we deal with violence and opposition constantly and at staggering rates yet we stay strong and we continue loving through all of it, whether its in dark corners in secret or loudly in the streets we continue loving and do so with all of our beings because we know its our own truth and well gladly go to hell if it means we got to love on earth (not that everyone believes in hell or the idea that us gays go to hell but my point stands)

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-we have this audacity to create divide (to the fault of mostly cis white gay men thank u very much) when what we need to do is love each other because we are different but at the end of the day we all need to remain in tandem and as a family or we will never get to where we need to in terms of acceptance and that means being uplifting and protecting our trans sisters of color, our disabled lgbt members, our autistic lgbt members, our anything past cis white gay man because we all need recognition, we all need love, and to exclude any letters of lgbt is to tear ourselves down and set ourselves on fire

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?-no :((( no one would drive me in the past and i dont think ill have a way to get there this year either

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?-brian molko! my bisexual, androgynistically-inclined father who birthed me at the tender age of 16 when i found placebo

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?-ya theres been a few and i dont rlly like to talk abt my relationships with anyone unless theyre online relationships so im just gonna leave it at that

What is your favourite lgbt+ book?-pantomime by laura lam! its one of if not my favorite book to this day

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?-y a every damn day bitch ! example is when i was deadnamed by my psychiatrist while she knows full well what my name is the other day; another is the countless times i get called a lesbian ???? and when strict lesbians ask me out i get a very bad taste in my mouth (i understand full well that sexuality is fluid, these are lesbians that spit the ‘penis is gross blegh’ rhetoric)

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?-uh im just gonna say preacher bc its my favorite show altogether n cass is bi/pan/something similar

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?-@ble3dmagic is my boyfriend in crime (not rlly thats a joke) and @musicalsense​ is my sunburnt Brother

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?-queer! i also use f*ggot a lot when talking about myself and my friends that are ok with it

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?-i went to a drag show and it was so amazing and one of the first times i felt accepted in my own community that i cried

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?-well i identify as a man with no leaning towards womanhood or nonbinaryhood in any way, its just . man . but in terms of Expression i am quite androgynous bc i can rlly appreciate femininity (NOT the same as womanhood) and being a man to me means just that ive always wanted to grow up with that “gender role” like i always wish i was raised as a stereotypical parent would raise a son and ive always been more interested in stereotypically masculine things and people since i can even remember and i feel like puberty was just this unpreventable spiral into something i didnt want. i didnt want it at all . this is tmi but when i got my first period i cried my eyes out bc the idea of being called a Woman repulsed me so much and since i didnt even know that being trans was a concept i was just this scared puppy full of confusion and fear aimed at myself because all the stuff i heard i was supposed to be proud of the change but i wasnt i was so ashamed of it and the idea of being called a woman made me sick to my stomach and i just wish i could go back in time and hold myself and tell me itll be alright 

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?-absoLutely not i hate kids (and by that i mean i hate being around them and the culture that surrounds having children; i do not treat kids like shit and i do not act like hating children is a personality trait; i get migraines and usually the second a child starts screaming or crying i am on the floor of my brain writhing in dire pain and i have absolutely no desire to support another human life when frankly i cant even support myself; its also just not a lifestyle i want to live)

What identity advice would you give your younger self?-god so fucking much. so fucking much. so many things i wish i could say to myself

What do you think of gender roles in relationships?-i think if someone wants to adhere to them then hell yea go ahead just dont expect others to do it or try to tell other people its a Norm or something; theyre for the most part christian in nature so i dont have any desire to follow them myself, i want a relationship (if any) thats more of a coexistence if that makes sense, like. roommates plus dick

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?-i always used to anxiously chew on the idea that my chest dysphoria is just me holding disdain for the shape and size of my breasts but let me tell you. the second i put on my binder for the first time i immediately started crying because i was so overwhelmed by the fact that i was looking at something one step closer to myself and i know full well i am never going to have that doubt again. this week has been exponentially cathartic and therapeutic for me

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?-i want the cisheteros to know that nothing they learn about us is new. everything about us has been around for so so long but has been silenced and erased to the point where a lot of us dont even know many things about our rich and beautiful history

Why are proud to be lgbt+?-honestly? its hard for me to not just straight up say im not proud of my identity. its taken me years to stamp down the plain grieving toward my identity and wishing i could have the easier path but frankly? the fact that i am choosing this path of hardship and hell on earth just to be who i truly am i think speaks volumes of my pride in my identity at this point; further back in my archive by a few years my posts are littered with sentiments of bitterness wherein i stated that i hate being trans and not just cis but i like to think ive finished hating myself for my identity. i like to think im proud now. to ask me why is to ask too much of me, all i know now is that i am proud and thats enough for me right now.

[imreszekeres]

for the anon that wanted all 100

1. Name- Ash! 2. Age- 18 3. City that you live in- fear, usually 4. What do most people not know about you?- nothing really, i compulsively release useless information about myself 5. What do most people know you for?- being fat and annoying 6. Hobbies- makeup, youtubers, sleeping, writing, drawing 7. What are your passions?- writing 8. What do you search for in a significant other?- i really Really need to be understood, and someone who is patient is nice too 7. What are you most proud of?- I hav gone to State and gotten within the top 10% in my Journalism competitions, which puts me in the top .08% of all high school students in my state. :-) im good for some things 8. When was the last time you had a significant conversation with someone you love?- every day when I talk to @pizzasteveofficial <3 all our conversations are significant 2 me 9. Have you ever collected anything? What was it?- I collect my tears in a jar and store them, then shower in them every night 10. List 10 things off of your bucket list.- I want to get married in the snow, have a daughter, get a Heartagram tattoo (at least one lol), write a successful book, and.. idk what else :0 11. What was the last thing you learned?- jesus I dont know, you learn sth new every day! hard to remember 12. How many relationships have you been in?- um.. 7 I think i feel like im forgetting one tho. I wont name them obvi but i think im forgetting one? i feel like ive been in 8 oh well 13. Turn ons- validation 14. Turn offs- being alive 15. Favorite food- frozen yogurt! I like the vanilla or white chocolate flavor with looots of toppings 16. Favorite drink- Coke 17. What is the best birthday gift you have ever received?- i dont really know! I dont remember a lot of my birthdays for trauma reasons so  18. Are you optimistic or pessimistic?- pessimistic by far lol 19. Do you sleep during class?- its happened a handful of times, I try not to bc I HATE missing work its annoying 20. What is the most expensive thing you own?- myself?? jk its my laptop 21. What is the cheapest yet most useful thing you own?- a 1 dollar ELF blending brush. yall those things are bomb please go buy some! 22. How many times a day on average do you check your phone?- that number does not exist holy shit  23. Text or call?- TEXT BLEASE I HAVE SUCH BAD HEARING 24. Opinion on long distance?- it can work! ive done it a lot of times. distance has never been whats broken a relationship for me, not directly anyway 25. What is your definition of success?- success is when you’re happy. you do not have many worries, not the kind that keep you awake at night or make your tummy sick anyway. You have people that love you and, if you died, you’d be remembered as a good bean 26. Favorite song?- right now im really diggin “Hate (I Really Dont Like You)” by the plain white Ts 27. Favorite artist?- HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 28. Celebrity crush/crushes?- Ville Valo ALWAYS lmao hes my god 29. When was the last time you read for fun?- like last month 30. Favorite flower?- roses 31. What is the best gift you could receive right now?- a plane ticket to Connecticut and like 1000 dollars 32. Any guilty pleasures?- pop... music... BUT LIKE THE GOOD KIND U FEEL? I DONT LIKE STUFF FROM THE LAST 2 OR 3 YEARs...  33. What is one thing you would like to change about yourself?- my weight, and that sounds so shallow but it. is taking a toll on me. 34. What do you search for in a friend?- someone who is like me! 35. How many times have you said "I love you" in the past month?- not enough 36. Where did you last go other than your room/home?- school.. 37. Why do bad things happen to good people?- because life isnt fair 38. In your opinion, what hurts more? Being left out or being stabbed in the eye?- what the fuck being stabbed in the eye have you ever been stabbed in the fucking eye? because i havent and i can already tell you that if my friends were talking without me and then someone stabbed me in the fuCKING EYE I WOULD BE JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE PREOCCUPIED WITH BEING STABBED IN THE E Y E  39. How many green shirts do you own?- none lol 40. Do you like anime?- sure! I dont watch it rn but i dont watch anything rn, haha 41. What do you invest the most time in?- sleeping,, 42. What was the name of the last book you read?- Rebecca :3 very gud book 43. What's the difference between loving and liking someone?- when ur main squeeze gets a hair cut and u still wanna suck their dingus u love em, thats it sorry i dont make the rules 44. Where are you most productive?- i dont.. know what this is asking lol I’m most protective over my romantic partners. As much as I’d love to say im most protective over Sarah, nothing compares to how “troll guarding his treasure” i am w/my loves.......... *eyes @my crush* 45. List 3 things you enjoy doing with friends.- talking shit abt rude ppl, playing vidya gaem, and talking abt life 46. List 3 things you enjoy doing alone.- watching makeup tutorials, watching lets plays, and thinking about everything and anything 47. Do you believe world peace will ever exist?- absolutely not. theres too many people on the earth to achieve that 48. Do you have any allergies?- Not to anything specific but i get them really often seasonally. i get them pretty much every time the weather changes :( 49. When was the last time you cussed at someone?- i mean.. every day of my life so like 50. What was the last promise you made?- idek dude 51. What was your last dream about?- IT WAS SO WEIRD IT WAS ABOUT MY CRUSH’S MOM? I DREAMT THAT SHE WAS A DEMON WHO STORED HER EGGS IN LITTLE PORCELAIN JARS AND THAT MY CRUSH HAD AN EAR INFECTION AND WE WERE IN A SNOWY VILLAGE IDK DONT ASK ME its weird bc my crushs mom is so sweet... 52. If you won a trip to Hawaii and you could take 5 people with you, who would those 5 people be?- i would literally only take Sarah bc i hate everyone 53. How many countries have you visited?- ive never been outside the US 54. What is your favorite medium of art? (Music, dance, painting, etc.)- writing :-) 56. When was the last time somebody complimented you?- those nice anons i got yesterday/the other day! 56. If you switched bodies with someone, how would you recognize yourself?- what do u even mean? youd know bc youd be like THIS ISNT MY BODY 57. Do you consider yourself mature?- kind of, yes 58. How many days in your life do you think you have wasted on tumblr?- too fuckin many 59. What is your favorite quote?- “Worship Satan!” -Ville Valo (no but rly any HIM lyric is my favorite quote, theyre so beautiful,,,) 60. If you started a new religion and you had to create 3 rules or commandments for your new followers to live by, what would those 3 rules be?- dont hurt ppl unless they hurt u, dont touch ppl unless they want u to, and respect gender/sexuality 61. What is your greatest accomplishment?- going 2 state! 62. Do you believe in the death penalty?- yeah i actually think it should b used more lol, kill all rapists and p*dophiles :-) 63. What are your goals for life?- i just wanna b happy, man 64. What do you think your soulmate is doing right now?- being a fucking idiot, probably 65. If you could live anywhere, where would you live? The place can be in an imaginary, fantasy, or the real world.- CALIFORNIA LMAO IM SUCH A SUCKER FOR CALIFORNIA AND I NEVER EVEN BEEN THERE 66. What were you like in 2013?- awful but also really sweet... then again i wasnt TECHNICALLY the host so lol  67. Do you have a job?- no :( i cant drive 68. Tell us a story about your childhood best friend.- she was an abusive bitch who took out her parents hating her on me the end 69. If you could change one thing about society, what would it be?- i would make discrimination a way more serious crime than it is taken for rn. ppl who discriminate should b put in jail 70. How many all-nighters have you pulled before?- just one when i had to install the sims and it took 6 years 71. Is tumblr your favorite website? If not, then what is your favorite website?- my fave website is youtube 72. What is the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars?- suck a dick, i guess 73. Does money equal happiness?- not all the time but it sure can 74. How many times have you experienced true happiness in your lifetime?- never, i dont think 75. How many times have you experienced true sadness in your lifetime?- too many times 76. What is the funniest joke you have ever been told?- you know that joke abt the blind man at the beginning of Crazy Rap? yeah thats fucking HILARIOUS  77. When was the last time you looked at the news?- this morn :0 78. If you could say one thing to the world, what would you say?- im gay 79. What is your favorite animal?- RACCOONS!!!!!!!!!!!! 80. If you could earn a million dollars by pretending to be dead for 3 years, would you do it?- i mean sure lmao nobody would b upset about it so 81. What is one thing that everyone is bad at?- being a human. 82. What time do you normally sleep? How many hours of sleep do you usually get?- i usually go to bed at 10 and get like 6 or 7 hours 83. Does age necessarily equal maturity?- not at all! 84. What is your favorite clothing store?- hot topic lol 85. In the winter- beanies or gloves?- gloves b 86. Would you rather have wings or a fish tail?- wings?? why would i want a fish tail 87. If you had the power to erase one person from the world so that nobody remembered him or her except you, would you do it?- absofuckinglutely.  88. What do you fear the most?- being like my rapist. thats a little too deep than i like to go but im being honest, thats literally my biggest fear Ever 89. How many digits of pi can you recite?- 3.14 lmfao i hate math 90. If you could travel back to one year and relive it again, which year would it be?- 2004. I would stop it before it happened. :-( 91. Describe yourself in one word.- stupid 92. Describe your last victory.- i woke up today w/o killin meself 93. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen?- bendytoots cucumberpitch’s face 94. What is something you will never forget?- prom.. something rly nice happened 95. Would you rather forget all of the past or remember everything in vivid detail?- forget everything. please 96. Have you ever broken a bone before?- nope! 97. Is it harder to love or to hate somebody?- probably harder to love them lol 98. Coffee or tea?- coffer 99. What are some little things that you do that have changed your life in a positive way?- I dont overdose on a constant basis in a BPD-fueled rage any more so thats good 100. How many hours have you spend on tumblr today?- probably 1 or 2?

[szopenhauer]

why aren’t you with your first love? my first female crush was hetero

were you sad when you heard about michael jackson’s death? no have you ever kissed an ex after you broke up? because we’re together again lol how long could you go without cursing? not long if I’m around people :x did anything annoy you today? mostly my computer and thunderstorm  have you consumed alcohol in the past 24 hours? I don’t drink so obviously not have you ever kissed someone who’s last name started with an b? no what were you doing at 8am this morning? sleeping if you were kicked out of your house, where would you go first? I would try grandma and my gf probably maybe my sister? if none of those options would work then I’d be homeless what will you be doing in 3 hours? hopefully sleeping is tomorrow gonna be a good day? what are you going to do? doubt it, nothing much are you satisfied with your life as of now? am not are any of your friends taller than you? of course, I’m very short have you ever gone out of your way to make someone happy? shitload of times who was the last person you took a picture with? my dad or my gf do you wear a belt with every pair of jeans? I don’t wear jeans or belts  where did you get the shirt you are wearing? got it from my sister as a gift the last two people you kissed, are they virgins? I only kissed one person in my entire life and that’s personal describe how you feel right now in one word? bad anybody tell you they miss you lately? my gf made a post about it if that counts  are you closer to your father or mother? my dad what’s your relationship with the person you talked to last? she’s my mom do you say sorry first? often did you speak to your father today? yeah, like every day what locker number is yours? I never had a locker do you sleep on a certain side of the bed? my bed is too small to have sides do you prefer an ocean or a pool? pool, ocean is more scary do you shut off the water when you brush your teeth? yup do you sleep with your closet door opened or closed? my wardrobe is always closed are you capable of holding down a long-term relationship? we’ll see is there someone that you believe you will always be attached to? at least my father if your best friend made out with your boyfriend/ girlfriend, what would you do? my father? with my gf?... what is bothering you right now? ugh... do you think someone is thinking about you right now? sure do you like when people play with your hair? I don’t care much  do you miss how things use to be with someone? absolutely

how are you doing today? sigh... sex ruins relationships, right? could say so

do you think it’s a bunch of bull shit when people say “i have no regrets”? I hate this kind of ppl, stay away! who got you the jewelry you’re wearing? I’m not wearing any jewelry atm do you get scared during scary movies? I usually get grossed out  how do you feel right now? *shrug* is there anybody you wish you could be spending time with right now? I’m fine being alone  do you like hugs? depends two days from today, where will you be? either home or or hospital... or dead are relationships ever really worth it? time will show do you miss your past? badly is the last person you kissed older than you? nope, almost 2 months younger what color shirt are you wearing? black and white stripes with a cat shaped UFO and a pug what do you currently hear right now? nothing, I can’t listen to music anymore because my mom is asleep and I don’t want to use my headphones  what are you planning on doing after this? maybe another survey

are you gonna be home tonight? yup, unless smth bad will happen then I will go to ER - you never know  name the first person you can think of that you know that has a tattoo? I’ve been talking about it today lmfao W. and S. had tattoos do you slam doors when you’re mad? might  is your room messy or clean? organized mess do you tell your best friend everything? it’s not possible but I try my best do you think anyone has feelings for you? it seems did your last kiss take place on a bed? I don’t think so are you someone’s best friend? one of best friends, not the only one have you kissed anyone whose name starts with a z? my name starts with z

when you take surveys, are your answers inspired by the person’s before you? I basically never read their answers, can happen accidentally but it doesn’t change anything

are you a “fan” of a lot of things on facebook? been on my old account, that was one of the reasons I created new profile, the only thing I regret about that fact is losing my Criminal case progress :(

have you ever “spoken” to any celebrities via. twitter? Grimes 

do you like croissants? noooo

do you get a lot of traffic outside your house or not? nah what does the last jacket you wore look like? blue plaid with grey hood, buttons and pockets

do you eat cereal bars? tried some in the past

are you on any prescribed medication? can’t take any meds currently 

how often do you change your bedsheets? rarely because I’m allergic to most of detergents and then I have ever bigger problems with sleeping 

if you haven’t already, are you scared of leaving home? if you have, do you like it? just a little

do you know how to look after yourself away from home? (budget, pay pills, feed yourself, cook, clean, do laundry etc.) not everything, I need to learn some stuff yet

do you drink a lot of juice? nope

what would you do if you found an abandoned baby on your doorstep, with a note asking you to keep it and take care of it? it’s illegal...

how many times have you moved in your life so far? 0

do you have a certain routine in the bath or shower? what is it? I bath my shoulders first (unless I wash my hair then my head goes first)

is there anything that you loved a year ago but just can’t stand now? food mostly

what do you do when people give you mixed messages? I try to find out the truth 

would you ever eat kangaroo steak? ewww, hell no

is there a chalkboard or whiteboard anywhere in your house? I hate chalkboards, I have magnetic board tho

do you like dried fruit at all? what’s your favorite type? meh

how many times have you been to the ER? at least 3 times how has this past week been for you? complicated

when a friend walks out of your life, do you go after them or let them go? walks out HOW and WHY?  what do people think about you that isn’t true? long story, dunno where should I even start, plenty of gossips to mention what do you think about internet best friends? why not? how many months until your birthday? half a year does it bother you when your friends bring up your past mistakes? I do that myself but at times it doesn’t make me laugh but hurts me if the year consisted of only one season, which would you choose? summer? if somebody liked you right now, what do you think is a cool way to tell you? I’m taken so if we’re not talking about my partner then I don’t think someone should tell me that  when was the last time you cried really hard? yesterday, today only slightly and just once could you go out in public looking like you do now? yes last person you gave something to? parents do you believe that if you want something bad enough you’ll get it? pfft honestly, has anyone ever seen you in your underwear? well I was in hospitals, been visiting many doctors, went to school where we had PE, have a family and am in a relationship etc etc etc would you ever shave your head to save someone you love? that doesn’t really help  when’s the next time you will kiss somebody? not soon, second half of the next month? how’s your heart lately? physically or emotionally? are you a jealous person? a bit do you wear the hood on your hoodie? sometimes can you successfully blow up and tie a balloon? doubt it where’s the weirdest place you’ve changed clothes? not sure which place was the weirdest what are you doing next week? no plans what was the first thing you thought this morning? I was thinking about my dream (me and some strangers were in an abandoned factory of some sort and there were dragons chasing us but I was escaping and even saved a little girl) would you rather have your nose or tongue pierced? nose ever stayed up all night on the phone? not whole night has the last person you kissed ever been mad at you? she was indeed does someone call and talk to you every night before you go to sleep? luckily not has the last person you kissed seen you cry? few times did anyone see your last kiss? we were one on one have you ever kissed someone who was high? I haven’t do you want to please everyone? no way, it’s not possible anyway anything interesting happen this week? mostly interesting bad

do you still talk to the person you last kissed? in general because at this very moment they’re busy would you kiss the last person you kissed again? we're going to  what does that person look like? tall, curly hair, glasses, black clothes  have you dated someone who wasn’t good to you? not that I deserve anything good but... would you ever cut your hair 6 inches shorter than it is now? I would be bald :o when was the last time it rained? today last person you cuddled with dies, are you sad? omg

have you ever helped a blind/visually impaired person to cross the road? there was no occassion

have you ever had a letter get lost in the mail, only to receive it months/years later? I sent a letter to my (now ex) friend and she never received it because someone stolen it 

do you ever feel disconnected from everyone around you? kinda

have you ever had a stalker? more than once

have you ever had to look after someone’s pet when they were away on holiday? sorta

do you know anyone who works as an air hostess? someone I know wants to work as an air hostess but she’s studying 

have you ever found something in your home which belonged to a previous owner? there was no previous owner

^ even if you haven’t, what would you do if you did? would you try and find the original owner? no idea

do you (or does anyone you know) tend to exaggerate any sign of sickness? looks like it

have you ever owned a pet goldfish? no fish, ever

were you ever bullied in primary school? not only primary

have you ever been into any kind of sex shop? online ones count?

when you go to church, do you light a candle for anyone? there were those coin turned on lamp candles in Ełk that I loved but they’re gone

are you/or is anyone you know a really good painter? no one is that good

would you be more inclined to give money to homeless people who play music as opposed to just sitting and begging? that’s true

have you ever traveled by train? if so, do you do it often? at least once a year 

have you ever been diagnosed with any kind of heart condition? when I was born

are you homeschooled? if you went to regular highschool, do you think you’d have liked being taught at home? wish I was homeschooled

is one of your parents very much into diy? my mom likes diy but not obsessively

do you know of anyone who is/has been in a coma? -

do you like skimming stones? I suck at it

would you ever want to work in cafe, even if only temporarily? not even temporarily

how much would you to do to get back something which contained your most treasured memories? damn

do you know anyone who is afraid of butterflies? I heard K. is

have you ever been inside a lighthouse? I don’t recall  do you have any money from different countries other than your own? several coins if you already have your license, how did you feel on the day of your test? I don’t have my license  do you care if you buy things that are ‘made in china’ or not?  I avoid buying some specific items that were made in china  would you rather swim in the pool or play in a sprinkler? none, am against sprinklers actually  if you get your pictures developed, or if you have in the past, do you keep the negatives or just throw them away? my mom kept them 

where were you 2 hours ago? home

are you wearing socks right now? almost always

have you been to the movies in the last 5 days? not since high school  who was the last person to hear you cry? more like saw that I cried/want to cry, not hear have you bought any clothing items in the last week? mother bought a crop top for me this day one thing you hate about yourself? can’t choose one, there’s more what are your plans for the day? day is over did you have fun today? moment  what do you know about the future? that I’ll die someday as every other human being do you have a tan? honey skin is my tan during summer how old do you want to be when you have kids? I don’t want to have any kids! how do you like your soda? I don’t drink soda  who was the last person to make you cry? myself? what day is tomorrow? Friday have you ever worn red lipstick? it was the only one I ever used

do you know who bonnie and clyde are? remind me of Sara

are you christian? I am 

if so, have you ever read the entire bible? I guess

are you generally attracted to more outgoing and loud people or quiet and mysterious people? smth in between

have you ever cried because you couldn’t be with someone? that was dumb of me

could you ever see yourself going to those college parties, getting drunk, fucking some random person and getting an std? u can apparently get std without parties, drinking and sex

don’t you hate it when things are amazing in other people’s lives and you’re stuck in a hole? very

do you have problems with one - or both - of your parents? with one of them way more

do you sleep a lot? barely

do you like drinking water? whatever

have you ever been to a funeral? 1 

do you like writing? when I have smth to write about

are you doing/did you do good in school? got worse with time

do you think moths are bad luck? whaaat? but they’re so pretty! :o

or do you not believe in supersitious stuff? I believe in some superstitions but like five of them or smth

will you date someone that’s not your race? I believe

i hope you aren’t racist… are you? am I? :(

have you ever made yourself throw up? disgusting, not able to do that

do you think you exercise enough? I don’t exercise 

have you ever pierced something on your body, yourself? I’m not stupid

Have you ever listened to the same song on repeat for hours on end? that happened  Do you like staying in hotels? hmm... Are musicals interesting or boring? annoying, besides Cats What is your favorite scent of incense? I don’t burn it

Can you tune a guitar by ear or do you need a tuner? need a tuner Do you like love songs? oh well...

Don’t you hate it when your eyes burn? it’s awful, got that problem last weeks Have you ever sex texted? I’ve sexted 

Would you know who to talk to if you wanted weed? but I don’t want it Have you ever worn leather? fake What is your greatest fear? personal If you could kiss anyone right now, who would it be? my gf What perfume do you wear? none, I hate perfumes Do you smell good right now? I don’t think so What is your favorite energy drink? never tried any and don’t want to