onlyonefel

[mayasdeluca]

“Today was magical and I want to keep the magic alive but being back in here...It’s still so painful.”

[somber-sapphic]

Hey! I was wondering if you would be down to do the sicktember (I already know my autocorrect is going to hate this 😂) but day 27 I think. The one with Marina x reader and Carina is sick. If not I totally understand

Taking Care of Her

〖Summary: Carina is sick and not doing a great job at being a patient.���

〖Word Count: 1.1k〗

〖Pairing: Marina x Reader, Sick Carina〗

〖Notes: I absolutely can! Sorry it took me so long to respond to this one, I wanted to make sure I could have the req with the post. If anyone else has any sicktember prompts they want finished I'll link the post here and you can let me know :)) Apologies for the title, it's late and I cannot think of anything better.〗

☾Masterlists☽

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“Carina, there’s no way you’re healthy enough to be here. Let me take you home, please.” You begged, hugging a clipboard to your chest as you watched your very sick girlfriend move about the on-call room. It was a slow day in the ER which left you time to chase her around instead of taking blood and treating patients. It also helped that April wanted Carina to go home as badly as you did. 

She had helped run clinic day with Maya and the rest of the crew of 19 a few days ago and had encountered the nasty flu that was going around. She’d actually been forced to deny one man a flu shot and sent him to the hospital to be evaluated by one of the ER docs. That night, she and Maya came home exhausted, making you regret not taking your day off to help them.

To make it up to them, you’d made them both a fancy bath with salts, candles, and scented candles. While they were relaxing in the bath you attempted to cook and when that failed you put in an order for the Italian place down the street. They had been incredibly thankful but Carina had practically fallen asleep in her plate of pasta, leading to an early night. 

The doctor had the next day off so you and Maya had gotten ready quietly around her and she was still asleep by the time the two of you got back that night. That was the first sign. 

There was evidence that she had gotten up, at least to eat lunch, but the fact that she would even consider sleeping the whole day worried you and your other girlfriend. The two of you let her sleep anyway, both of you hoping silently that she could fight off whatever was trying to take hold with a little extra rest. 

Of course, it didn’t. So here you were, trying to convince Carina that it was in her best interest to let you take her home instead of treating patients. There you were, blocking the exit to the on-call room prepared to shove Carina into a bed if that’s what it took. She had driven you there (a bad idea in hindsight) and you weren't sure how long it would take for Maya to get there to pick you up. 

“Y/n, I have mothers waiting for me preparing to push tiny humans out of their bodies. What they are preparing to go to is far worse than this little cold.” She insisted, bringing it back to the mothers yet again. Throughout the whole argument, she had stood firm that she needed to be fine because her patients were not. 

“Come on Car, you have to know that's a stupid point. What if you get them sick? What if you get the babies sick? Masks are great but they aren’t foolproof, what would happen then?” You challenged, raising an eyebrow at her. The woman’s face went a shade paler, something you didn't realize was possible, and she faltered slightly. 

“But, it's my job. Another doctor won't know them like I do, they won’t be able to…” She trailed off and raised a hand to her forehead, swaying suddenly. You rushed forward and wrapped an arm around her waist, quickly taking almost her complete weight as you sat her down on the bottom bunk of a bed. 

“Sweetheart, you’re sick. Let me take you home. Maya has the day off, we can watch movies and I’ll make you soup and we can get you feeling better. Please. You’re a biohazard.” You knew that last part would make her rethink her position which was exactly why you’d thrown it in. 

Carina dropped her head on your shoulder for a moment giving into the dizziness that you were sure she was feeling. 

“Please. Flu season has been bad, this will only get worse before it gets better.” As a nurse, you had been treating case after case of the flu several of them with severe enough symptoms that they needed to be admitted. You were used to rates going up during the winter but it was worse this year. 

The two of you sat in silence for a few more minutes, you rubbing Carina’s back as she carefully weighed her options. 

“Fine.” She finally said, lifting her head to look at you with glassy brown eyes. “I don't want to get the mothers sick.” You smiled, perfectly happy with that answer. You didn't care why she went home as long as she did. 

“Thank you.” 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You stepped through the door to your home and were immediately greeted by a very worried-looking EMT. 

“Hey baby, come here.” Maya breathed, reaching out her arms for the shivering brunette bundled up in yours. She broke away from you and drifted toward the firefighter, tears already beginning to form in her eyes. You sighed quietly and pinched the bridge of your nose, wishing that you knew of a way to keep her from crying. She always got weepy when she had a fever and you hated that there was so little that you could do to help. 

“I made a little blanket fort on the couch or we can go lay down in bed, what do you think?” The blonde offered, stepping immediately into the role of caretaker. She was so good at that, even you, a nurse, had trouble with it when it came to the people you loved. For some reason taking care of strangers always came easier. 

“Bed.”

It took the two of you ten minutes to get her settled, she had refused the first three sets of PJs that were offered and wouldn’t lay down until Maya did. Once the blonde was in bed it seemed to signal to Carina that she was allowed to rest and quickly cuddled up against the firefighter. 

You flipped on the TV and handed the remote to your healthy girlfriend so that you could change out of your scrubs and into sweatpants and an oversized band t-shirt. The shirt belonged to Maya, but the two of you frequently swapped clothes, so she didn’t mind. 

“Do you need anything Car? Some tea? A snack? Anything?” You offered, expecting the answer to be no. She shook her head, just as you thought she would, and reached over the EMT to grab the hem of your shirt. 

“Will you lay down with us? Just for a little while?” She croaked, sniffling softly. Her nose was running a little but she didn't seem to notice or care. You smiled and walked around to the other side of the bed so that she could be in the middle. 

Taking care of the doctor would never be an easy feat but you and Maya were more than willing to accept the challenge. Though you both were glad that she had such a strong immune system. That certainly helped. 

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[girl4music]

CARINA: “How long are you going to angry-chop at me?”

MAYA: “I’m just chopping.”

CARINA: “You know, my Dad has bipolar I?”

MAYA: “You said that.”

CARINA: “And my sweet baby brother has inherited it.”

MAYA: “Are you talking about you, or are you trying to draw some kind of parallel? ‘Cause if it’s you, I’m all in. But there is no mental illness in my family.”

CARINA: “With or without mental illness, the-the human brain is brilliant, and it is devious, and it walls off what it doesn’t want to know.”

MAYA: “Got it. So you’re talking about me.”

CARINA: “What I’m trying to say, Maya, is that your mind is brilliant, and maybe you think you’re too smart to be in denial. Maybe you think you’re too smart to have been abused?”

MAYA:

*thumps cutting knife on table*

“Okay, I’m not interested in talking.”

CARINA: “I’m just trying to help.”

MAYA: “He never hit me.”

CARINA: “That’s not the only way to abuse somebody, Maya. My Dad has never hit me, either. He has never hit my brother, but that doesn’t mean that we were not abused. Psychological abuse, verbal abuse. They-they are real.”

MAYA:

*breathes deeply*

“I don’t want to fight with you.”

CARINA: “I don’t want to fight, either.”

MAYA: “Then I think you should go.”

CARINA: “What? This is not how you handle a fight. Maya I-I’m here for you. I’m not leaving.”

MAYA: “Okay, okay. I’m-I’m-I’m gonna… I need-I need to run. So I’m gonna-I’m gonna go on a run.”

Yeah, it’s not happening. Nothing is clicking. There’s just constant cognitive dissonance every time someone tries to get through to Maya and explain that she was abused, and still is, by the looks of it. The chemistry in her brain has been so throughly warped that she genuinely thinks that her father’s treatment of her is something that was good. That’s helped her. Even Andy, who is actually grieving her own father’s recent death, has discovered information that makes her think that there’s a possibility that her Dad wasn’t always the greatest guy to her mother, and Maya is even defending him, even though it’s Andy’s business.

This really is going to be a deeply complex and difficult arc for Maya and she’s pushing the only person away that will actually help her make a breakthrough on it and likely heal her trauma. It’s upsetting to see Maya react this way to her girlfriend. And the fact she’s already cheated on her because she doesn’t want to face her own emotions is very sad.

I want to say the way she’s acting is not okay but because I completely understand why she is, I can’t blame her for her actions and her hurtful words. I’ve been there. Hell, I’ve been worse. I’ve hurt people in ways where their broken relationship with me will never be fixed no matter how much they may love me. So I totally get it. Abuse is a beast - a real monster - but the worst kind is psychological abuse because you can never really free yourself from its clutches and you do just as much damage to others as was done to you.

Carina won’t leave Maya but I think for her own safety, - at least this early in their relationship - she should because this is something Maya will not listen to until she makes that breakthrough in acknowledging that it can be true even though she loves her Dad. She’s just in so deep with the conditioning that I don’t really know how the writers are going to get her to do that because, like I said, I was never as deep in as she is. I always knew that it was abuse the way me and my mom were treated by my Dad because of outside influence. Maya never had that outside influence so she’s grew up believing that that treatment was okay. It’s only now with her mom coming back into her life and apologizing that she never protected her and her girlfriend sharing similar experiences with her and even Andy possibly realizing it about her own Dad that that outside influence comes in to knock all the defensive walls in her throughly warped brain down.

She’s realized she’s broken.

That’s at least a small step in the right direction.

I just hope it doesn’t go the other way and she starts blaming and punishing herself. Internalizing her pain. I personally think the best thing she can do is to get professional therapy. Talk to that Dr. Diane Lewis because she has a knack for triggering the switch in a way that’s not harmful but gets inside people’s heads enough to make them think about how their past trauma has affected them and still continues to.

I predict that’s going to be how to reach Maya. The switch needs to be triggered. The click has to happen. And only somebody professionally trained should attempt to do it with a person as in denial as Maya is. Carina obviously cares enough to help Maya through this incredibly complex and difficult journey and I’m sure she’ll help her heal. But she needs to back off as of right now because she’s going to get hurt. A lot. Maya will continue to push Carina away and be mean and take out her own frustration with all of this on her the more she tries to push a perspective that doesn’t make sense for Maya because she can’t see it herself.

[jazy3]

Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 17X11

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

I liked this episode overall even though it wasn’t quite what I was expecting. I thought that in this episode we were going to see Meredith and Derek reunite one last time on the beach and then Meredith was going to wake up in a dramatic fashion and we would get some big dramatic scene. I now think that that's going to happen in next week's episode or the one after. I like that they showed that she was getting better but that the challenge now was to get her to wake up and stay awake. While it wasn't super dramatic it was probably more realistic to how the disease actually works and affects people in real life.

I kept thinking every time Meredith fell back asleep that she was going to appear on the beach, and I was little disappointed that she didn’t. That being said, I really loved Jo's scene with Meredith. I thought it was really sweet and touching and I like that Meredith was supportive and told Richard what Jo had said so that he could help her. Jo was scared that Meredith would yell at her and not understand if she told her so that was nice to see. I also liked that this episode combined with the previous one seems to indicate that the beach exists in Meredith’s head, it’s her happy place, and that she can hear people when they talk to her at her bedside and can potentially hear people when they stand outside her room.

This means that when she does wake up for real, they won’t have to rehash plots that we’ve already seen because Meredith will already know what happened and they can just go from there. I also really liked the scene where Richard came to Jo and she was worried he was angry with her and would try to talk her out of switching specialties, but instead he told her he wanted to help her but he couldn't do that if he was in the dark. That being said, while I’m okay with Jo switching it up, I'm still not sold on Jo switching to OBGYN because I don't think they've done enough to set up the storyline.

We’re 3/4 of the way through the season and all Jo has done is talk about it, but she hasn't done anything to actually make it happen. We got more set up for her switching to Urology and being mentored by Catherine in one episode than we've had all season with Jo wanting to switch to OBGYN. Jo’s had plenty of time to talk to people in the field about her desire to change careers, talk to her superiors, and find a mentor. She’s done none of that. In fact she’s been hiding her desire to switch from everyone who could actually help her with feels a lot like self-sabotage. If she’s really interested, she should have gone to Meredith, Bailey, and Richard in the first half of the season and talked about how she was feeling.

She should have asked Hayes and Carina what working in OBGYN and Pediatrics was really like. She hasn’t done that and right now she seems to have a very rosy picture of what the field is like that just doesn’t match the reality. She keeps talking about how it’s going to be great because it’s all about happy Moms, but that isn’t the reality for everyone. There’s a lot that can go wrong in childbirth, not everyone is happy to be having a baby, some might be placing their children for adoption, they may be fighting with their partner, they may lash out because they are in pain, the list goes on.

If Jo is serious about switching, she should be asking Hayes and Carina a thousand questions and finding someone to mentor her. Instead her and Carina haven’t had a single scene together this season that I can recall, and she spent two whole episodes screaming at Hayes and being super aggressive towards him when he was already terrified about Meredith and Irene. She knows that if she switches specialities she’ll be working with Hayes and people in his Department a lot. Which means she should be super nice to him and being asking for his help. Instead, she’s created this super weird dynamic in which she’s either yelling at him aggressively or they are exchanging polite conversation about work.

Hayes makes it clear to Irene that they are not friends, he is not interested in her, and has no desire to change that which is on Jo because she went from being nice to him and being friendly and teasing him about his feelings for Meredith last season to taking advantage of the fact that they are coworkers to scream at him when he didn’t want to break protocol after what happened to Meredith and was upset after Irene was admitted. She also made that horrible comment comparing his wife’s death to her divorce from Alex and seem to take the fact that he was upset and wanted the best care for Irene as a personal offence and to mean that Hayes think she’s incompetent. None of which is true. It’s all in Jo’s head.

So yeah, I’m not sold on her switching to OBGYN because they haven’t done enough set up and they already tried that with Carina, and it didn’t work. There just isn’t enough material to have a character appear on the show regularly if they are an OBGYN only and can’t perform pediatric, fetal, or neonatal surgery. After they wrote Arizona off, they spent two seasons trying to find stuff for Carina to do before pairing her with Maya and moving her over to Station 19. Several of the current writers were present during seasons 14, 15, and 16 so they were there when that happened, and they were involved. So, I’m confused as to why they think something that failed the first time is going to work with an existing character.

If this is the show’s last season, I feel like this storyline is going to end with Jo re-specializing and adopting Luna. If this isn’t the show’s last season and they’re doing one more I don’t understand how the writers think they are somehow going to get a season’s worth of content out of Jo delivers babies and sleeps with Jackson. We got some good patient storylines this episode and the storyline about the newlywed couple was funny and interesting. I had a feeling as soon as Bailey convinced the guy to talk to his life that it was going to go the opposite way than Bailey intended.

I like that Owen took Bailey’s advice and gentle prodding to heart and apologized to Teddy. I am happy that Owen finally made amends and that he and Teddy seem to be moving forward. I was so sick of them fighting so I’m glad to see that storyline come to an end. It was exhausting and I'm glad that Owen finally got it and that that they are both starting to heal. It was long overdue. I think he heard what Bailey was saying and even though it didn't hold true for the couple they treated it did hold true for him and Teddy and that's what Bailey was trying to share with him.

As for what the future holds for Teddy and Owen, I'd like to see them become friends again and find a way to co-parent peacefully with Amelia and Link for the good of their kids and themselves. I think there's been too much drama and heartbreak for them to work as a couple at this point. I loved seeing Maggie and Hayes work together to treat a patient. I liked the scene where Maggie said it was time to let the patient go and Hayes looked at her and said aren't you some kind of genius or something? Figure it out.

It was nice to see her in a non-romantic storyline with someone that Meredith is interested in. I never liked the “Meredith is dating or interested in someone or they are interested in her, but her sister misunderstands the situation and thinks they are into her or cluelessly asks them out” plots. I love that Hayes is finally getting his moment in the sun. He's played a big role in the second half of the season so far and I'm really happy about that. He's one of my favourite new characters and they really underutilized him in the first half of the season. I loved seeing his interactions with Maggie and watching them find a solution for his young patient. I really loved the scene where they're all in the OR and their idea works. The unfettered joy on their faces was palpable and it filled me with joy!

The scenes where the patient’s father confided his fears to Hayes about his son and how his wife hasn’t been able to get out of bed in weeks and then just before they took him into surgery, he talked to his son about all of the things he wanted to do with him. That made me tear up. I loved how Hayes got the idea for the surgery from Jo being metaphorical and convinced Maggie to do it. I was surprised that Maggie’s engagement wasn’t mentioned, and I got the impression that Maggie hasn't told anyone about her engagement yet as no one commented on it so I'm interested to see when that will come out and people's reactions to it.

I liked that Link’s parents showed up and offered to take the kids out for the day (safely) and that we got to see Link having a happier interaction with his parents and that Amelia and Link got a break. While his parents have come across as selfish and sometimes cruel and irresponsible in the past it was really nice of them to offer to take the kids for the day and I like that they happily offered and accepted Meredith’s kids as family and that Link’s Mom called Amelia her daughter-in-law and said she considered her part of the family.  

I really loved the Amelia and Link scenes this episode. They were great! They were emotional and sexy and fun and silly and heartbreaking all at once. I'd like to see them get married, but not because his Mom keeps pushing it or because they find out that Maggie and Winston are engaged, but because they feel it's right for them. Link is at that place, but Amelia isn't and I don't want to see her jump into something because of outside pressure. She's done that before, and it always ends badly.

I really appreciate that the series is actively addressing Amelia's addiction and what it's like to live with that. Addiction is a lifelong battle, a chronic illness of sorts, and it is not a one and done deal. Amelia and Link don't have a lot of story options available to them because of Meredith's COVID storyline this season so I like that they are taking the opportunity to explore that more. I liked the comparison to her relationship with Owen where Link said I love you and I want to marry you, but I'm not Owen so I'm not here for the drama and if us getting married could cause you to relapse then we should wait. Link proposing and Amelia shouting no at him especially when he was shirtless made me laugh! I’m always here for shirtless Link!

I also really Jackson and Mama Ortiz’s storyline. They addressed a real issue in that sometimes people try to help because they feel moved or called to do so, but their band aid fix creates more problems long term than they solve. I like that Jackson got what Ortiz was saying and that he called her at the end of the episode and asked for her ideas for how they could use his money to really help people in their community long term. I love the actress who plays her and I'm excited that she’s getting more screen time.

I loved seeing Tom back in action! His lines in the trauma room were great! Bailey had some great scenes this episode as well. They're focusing more on the characters I really like or find interesting in the second half of the season so I'm really enjoying that. I had a few favourite scenes this episode. I loved the moment where Meredith woke up and Richard said, "Hey there, sleepy head," and Meredith said she was sorry he had to put her on a ventilator because she knows how hard that must have been for him and he said he'd do it again. And then Meredith said, "I'm glad I chose you." I love their father daughter relationship and that scene warmed my heart. I also really liked Teddy's line about the tea. That's a meme waiting to happen.

Onto next week’s promo! We see Jackson running by a Black Lives Matter protest which puts this episode at either the end of May or the beginning of June 2020 as George Floyd, may he rest in peace, was murdered on May, 25, 2020 and protests erupted the next day and grew in size in the following weeks and months. In the promo Richard brings in a wounded protestor and tells Jackson they were marching peacefully, and Jackson appears to be treating Hayes who we know has two black biracial children.

We also see Meredith being taken into the Hyperbaric Chamber by Levi, Maggie talking a distressing phone call, and Teddy doing chest compressions which means she’s back at work. Here’s hoping that Teddy took Amelia’s advice and found a new therapist that works for her. The most intriguing part of the Promo for me is that we see Bailey, dressed in full PPE, duck into a stairwell and scream “What?!?” out loud several times. I’m curious to know what she’s screaming about. Is it good? Is it bad? Is it both? Is it something bewildering? Can’t wait to find out.

Until next time!

[geekkatsblog]

Grey's Season 17x8 review

I'm kinda late but I haven't been sleeping lately so I finally managed to catch up with the episode today.

I'm still in shock from last weeks episode honestly but let's go. First I'm expressing my disappointment on the lack of Carina, she's a series regular on Grey's but all her scenes were on Station 19, I wish they would have brought Maya to Grey's just so I could feel good about seeing them cash in their regulars card. Then Deluca was laid to rest, another heart breaker seeing that they had just opened the realms of possibility for him and storylines but they just killed him off instead.

___________________________________________

Teddy

Teddy the biggest storyline at this point besides the funeral. At last we get to see what's really going on. Teddy hasn't been looking herself for a long time and it seems like Deluca's death was the breaking point for her, she was so scarred she didn't even want to wean Meredith off of the vent and when things are affecting your decisions as a doctor and not for the better, it's not a good sign. We'll get to see more of the storyline next week which honestly I'm excited to see. She managed to make me feel for her because despite everything she's done she's still the same old attachment barbie under there. I'm just glad Owen was able to put aside their differences and pick her up bridal side to take her home. The only thing I'm hoping is that it actually happens to be what the trailer was suggesting and not another Denny and Izzie situation because enough of the Grey Sloan doctors have had cancer and I'm definitely hoping that hey end the love triangle between her Owen and Tom or the better scenario in my opinion is let her get some space to breath and deal with healing without the pressures of relationship added to it.

___________________________________________

Meredith

Meredith honey, I'm gonna need you to take several feet away from Mc Dreamy, your kids and the hospital need you and you're getting a little too close to him for comfort. On that note I was once again glad to see Patrick Dempsey bless my screen as Derek Shepherd and it was as always a treat. When he talked about the kids, I'm so glad he knows about Ellis and they got to have several deep chats, so much so that I almost fell into the trap of wanting them to touch. She took a breath on her own which makes it seem as though she's improving but I don't want to get my hopes up and then have them trampled again like in the situation with Deluca waking up after surgery and then Meredith waking up only to end up on a vent in the same day.

___________________________________________

Bailey

I'm so glad that she's taking some time off. She's been running on empty since her mother died and she was beginning to remind me of the time with when she tested herself over and over again for staph with how obsessed she was about Deluca's autopsy, however with the amount of her fellow doctors she's lost its understandable plus Meredith the only one of her residents left is still on life support. If it wasn't for Richard she would have done some serious damage especially to Teddy who already was on edge. She definitely doesn't handle trauma well but besides Richard and Meredith she has experienced the most trauma. She's been through a lot and sometimes I think I tend to forget that.

And at least we got to see that small scene between her and Ben at the end so that was a plus.

___________________________________________

Richard

Is still holding up the walls of the hospital. It must be so hard for him to keep his faith with all he has been through, like I said before him, Meredith and Bailey have been through hell and back so I can definitely understand him feeling a little lost and losing his faith. However he didn't let that affect his keeping the Grey Sloan family together. I'm glad him and Catherine managed to make up because both of his support people are going through things of their own (Meredith and Bailey) so I was glads that she was able to be there for him and he didn't have to consider the thought of alchohol because that would just be too much at this point.

___________________________________________

Amelia and Link

Are doing really well right now as a couple, which scares me because whenever something seems to be going too well for a couple they throw a storm at them and I'm not ready to see their happy bubble burst just yet.

And Amelia has grown a lot her talking to Zola, she just said the right things. Mother hood as really changed her for the better. And does anyone else really want to see the letters that Zola wrote for Derek?

Link however felt the pressures of taking care of 4 kids constantly and I can understand I help out with my niece sometimes and by the end I want to pull my hair out and sleep in a corner for a week, farless 3 kids and a baby, I'm surprised he lasted so long.

Link headed to Jo's house in the middle of whatever agreement Jackson and Jo have going and got drunk. What I really liked about it though was that he went home afterwards and when he did Amelia didn't judge or yell she just talked to him and then hugged him which was amazing. They have a level of communication on the show that most of the other couples lack and it just works so well for them.

___________________________________________

Jo and Jackson

Jackson discovered just how much of a close friendship Link and Jo have and at some point he almost seemed as if he was jealous. Let the complications begin ladies and gentlemen. Plus there is the apparent potential of Dr Haynes turning it into a triangle. I guess one triangle dies to form another 🙄 and let's just say I'm not too excited for it.

Jo allowed herself to get drunk and vent which in my opinion was a step forward atleast. She hasn't really gotten the time to grieve over Alex because suddenly Covid happened and she was swamped with work. I'm just hoping that she does so that she won't accidentally sabotage any upcoming happiness she may have with someone else she needs to heal.

___________________________________________

Maggie and Winston

Poor Winston, he really doesn't know what he's signing up for by joining Grey Sloan does he 😭? Although I noticed last week he seemed to be getting the picture when Link was talking about Meredith and Derek. On the other hand seeing him with the kids was adorable, and he managed to give everyone some time to themselves without the kids which was a very big contribution. He's reminding me of a Ben which in no way is a bad thing. Go on Maggie get it.

Maggie was also devastated and shocked by Deluca as we all were and I'm so sad how their slowly but surely introducing her to the traumas of Grey's. She literally is the only pure one left and now she has to go through all the trials of the hospital until she's dark and twisty. I hope not though she's the only cheerful non broken one left on the show.

___________________________________________

Owen

Is about to have his hands full by next episode. He really is beginning to redeem himself after all Teddy did to him the whole episode he spent trying to make her feel better about Deluca and then picked her up to carry her home which confirmed my theory of it was always going to be Owen for Teddy, it was always Owen and Teddy even when she was married to ....... Henry 😭. I hope this will be the end of the over worked love triangle and they'll finally be able to move on especially Tom who deserves it.

___________________________________________

Haynes

Is utterly smitten with Meredith's children and was begging her to wake up and fight and surprise, surprise she took her first breath on her own. Honestly out of all the potential suitors for her which really isn't much considering one of them has now joined Derek as a permanent member of the beach, Haynes isn't a bad choice, I'm beginning to actually ship them. But then Krista said she was sensing a potential triangle with Jo, Jackson and Haynes and I hope not. I'm tired of the triangular pyramid of Grey Sloan love triangles. Just once I would like a relationship to be straight forward. They killed Deluca and the Teddy one is coming to an end, no need for another.

___________________________________________

Tom

Is still recovering from Covid and he seems to be going to live, a plus in the series so far.

___________________________________________

Levi and Nico

Are slowly getting closer, but I'm not rooting for anyone until Nico apologizes and they have an actual conversation about what happened without their clothes ending on the floor.

___________________________________________

Helm

Also was having a hard time coping and dealing with a bit of guilt about her over ambitious surgery hungry self. She actually reminds me of Cristina in a way, which is why I want Tom to be her teacher I really think their personalities will bounce well off of each other, especially in the episode where she had to check on Tom when he had Covid.

___________________________________________

Questions

• What's going on with Teddy? Owen said in the trailer he sees it in soldiers a lot but Grey's has a knack for reusing plots and her seeing Deluca is giving major Denny Izzie vibes, plus there's the chance that if it really is a brain tumor they'll pin all her recent choices on the tumor.

• Will someone tell Meredith they're are beaches in the real world as well, sure Derek won't be there and it probably wont be as peaceful but all I know is she needs to wake to hell up.

• What's going on between Jo and Jackson will they become more? Will they add Haynes to the mix?

• And most importantly when will Carina finally be seen in the Grey Sloan hospital? I need more Dr Carina.

[englishstrawbie]

I actually don't mind the captain of station 23 Aquino, why couldn't we have one like him?!☹️ we saw very little of him but he understood Andy's pain on seeing the rig destroyed.

But I feel like McCallister did it on purpose to put a captain like that on station 19 especially just for Bishop, he knew how he was with women, he must have known, and how she wouldn't have like him at all, but he knows that since she's under investigation she can't complain much and I hate it, that's borderline harassment how he treats her, it's been 10 months of this? I swear that man is just petty because he got confronted by 3 women and called out, he couldn't do anything to Carina ovbs but Andy got transferred and he made Maya step down, he practically blackmailed her into stepping down or the whole team would have been moved, she did it for them and that's how a good captain works, same as when she accepted Sullivan apology, she did it for the team, I still think she didn't forgive him yet, but she gave the team more stability. And did he put an incompetent captain on purpose too just to make station 19 fail or he doesn't see him as bad as we do?? because I wouldn't even give him the position of probie jfc how the hell he became captain? well chiefs like McCallister promoted him probably

Yes, the Captain of 23 seemed like a decent guy. I think putting a character like Beckett into 19 is a plot device somehow - whether that's to put the team in danger through his incompetence or to highlight the fact that Bishop was a damn good captain or to emphasise the mysogyny in the fire department. (Or possibly all of them!)

I hope the Chief didn't put Beckett in place just to see 19 fail because he is putting lives at risk. I think it's probably that he has a blinkered view that Beckett is a man and experienced and toes the line, and will therefore do a good job, whereas Maya - a woman and someone who was challenging the FD and supporting Dean in challenging the PD - had to prove herself over and over again, and eventually they used the breach of protocol as an excuse to demote her.

The Chief really didn't like the fact that Maya and Andy were challenging him and standing up for themselves, and I hope he gets his comeuppence too. The whole thing stinks and I hope that it is a storyline that gets a decent resolution and isn't forgotten for the sake of drama.

What I'm intrigued to know is - is Maya still under investigation? Because she was demoted pending investigation on the day of her wedding and then the new season picks up, what, 8-10 months later? (I think.) I don't know how long these sort of investigations take but 8 months seems like a long time!

[mayabishopapologist]

station 19 - season 4, etc

this is long but i want to put down my thoughts before thursday comes and i guess i have A Lot To Say.

honestly didn’t pay much attention to this show until halfway through season two—  always liked maya and was glad that they gave her more to do. going into season 3, i was excited for more character development &stronger storylines. however, by the end of  301 the dip in quality was glaringly obvious. a quick google search revealed that there was a new showrunner and, well, it showed. 

while the show had been going in a really good direction with balancing the screen time between andy and the other regulars, this season, the plot was all over the place. it was uber dramatic and just. so much happened just to happen? seemed like every other episode had a major event(deaths alone; ryan,rigo,pruitt?!!?). they were so frequent, it was hard to process. it was also hard to get invested as the characters themselves moved on(or were shown to have moved on, extremely quickly!) 

i enjoy the show for what it is and i have no delusions about broadcast tv shows (or shondaland productions, for that matter)but the suspension of disbelief.... i mean: a stabbing, a robbery, a shooting and a car crash? all in one episode? please! lmaooooo. drama for dramas sake is always boring and weakens the story.  

& as for the characters... .

everyone felt like a hollow version of themselves this season and it was hard to watch sometimes, actually. characters switched motivations /personalities for the sake of the current episode and i know this show is very ‘monster/emergency of the week’ but. some consistency! please! like—

maya: she’s always been determined and focused but they went so far with it this season, it was almost cartoonish. her competitiveness was hinted at in season 2 but she was always portrayed as self aware. ‘the beast,’ as she dubbed it to andy, was something she knew of and tried to contain, because she knew it could get out of hand. 

yet, in season 3 she suddenly forgets this and just. becomes the most power hungry/singularly focused person, ever. she goes after the captain position behind andy’s back, (citing andy’s emotional state, because of the death of her best friend as a reason she shouldn’t get the job?? huh. since when is maya this purely callous??!) she just doesn’t give af, suddenly, about andy at all, and goes for a job that she is hardly qualified for(she was lieutenant for like, a few months?)

and then after she gets the position, she just. loses all sense of reality? literally she was so unhinged(fun to watch but so much) and it was like. um?? maya has never been the uptight one (they've mentioned and depicted andy as being the one like this, multiple times!) and we know she knows how to have fun, so, for her to all of a sudden just. not know how to read the room? yeah okay. to make her so intense and severe, especially w the drills and training was, a choice. a bad one, on the writers part. like, i get that they needed her start as captain to be dramatic or whatever,  but there were ways to do that. and even the animosity with the team and her went so far, i just think that whole storyline was amazingly lazy, honestly.  

and the friendships!! andy and maya’s friendship is just, a mess. at this point they've spent more time at odds, and the idea that they're supposed to be best friends with this super close bond? yeah, i just... i dont buy it tbh. if they'd spent more time building up their connections and making us understand why they would be friends and showing them being there for each other past a few scattered scenes her and there? maybe. but so far, that hasn't been the case.  making that bond real, solidifying that friendship, would have made this conflict have more of an emotional impact. but doing it now? making maya ‘turn’ on andy, this soon and this drastically just. it made her seem like she was extremely jealous and had been waiting to pull the rug out from under andy all along. and also, why would they stay friends when, so far, maya has showed, time and time again, that she’s willing to let her wants/ambitions leech on her loyalty to andy? (jack thing, job thing, etc). although, it’s not like andy’s a good friend to maya either, she’s selfish and seems to like it when maya is in her corner but isnt always there for her. they went so far with the idea that maya was this coldly calculating asshole that she was almost a villain?? it was so silly to me.

and the traumatic home life plot they gave to maya was clearly their attempt at some adding nuance to her character and trying to explain why she would act the way she did, but to me? it fell flat. it was rushed, and they went from zero to 100(why did her mother come to talk about her divorce/abuse at maya’s job? like she was literally working? idgi. no boundaries lmaoo) 

and i actually relate and sympathize w maya a lot. and while i liked that they were exploring the many ways abuse can present itself, it was very... hm, ham-fisted. just super rushed and then wrapped up so quickly. they have, i think, written themselves into this dark place i fear they have no intention of exploring. 

and while i understand it, i hated how far they let maya go, especially because i don't feel they’ll adequately address it. they move on so quickly( maya was deaf for like half a season and then. she just. wasn't) and i hate the idea of her just being ‘fixed’. a relationship and an apology doesn't undo years of abuse, idc. also will they ever address maya’s um, thoughts about death??? because that was super heavy and not just something someone gets over? going to need for her to get actual professional help. that isn’t her girlfriend, like. asap. 

speaking of carina, i do like her and maya together a lot. big part of why i watch, ngl. but i need their relationship to be a lot more reciprocal. like, lets dial it back on the codependency, maybe. carina cant (and shouldn't have to) hold her up so much ! that’s not love. also maya needs to start being a good girlfriend. they started off that way, i know they can get back there. but like, we hardly got to see them settle into it, we got those cute 30sec clips of sweetness then maya was lashing out and cheating and it was like. wait a minute! what??? 

for s4, i want to see them working at reconciling—im talking, groveling, awkward in-between moments where carina isnt sure she can trust her. okay, tough conversations, hell, even jealousy because let's be real. maya working with jack is a lot for carina to just. take? i know i absolutely would not be happy about that, but i also wouldnt take maya back so... anyway! brushing over that would not just be a missed storytelling opportunity, but it would also be super unfair to carina and do a huge disservice to their relationship as a whole. as cute as they are, having cute moments with no real depth would get very old, very quickly.

carina: what can i say but-perfect, amazing, fantastic, WOW

seriously, carina is almost unrealistically perfect. she takes a lot and has been through the most (can they be nice 2 her this season? like just for fun) going forward, im going to need her to be more than a plot device to calm and soothe maya. i get that she was introduced as a love interest, but in season 4(as a season!!regular!!) that cant be all she is.

speaking of, it was really weird to me that she was promoted to station 19 and not greys because... what is a gynecologist going to do at a fire station? the general consensus seems to be that she’ll join warren’s PRT but like. she’s not a general surgeon so that’s a reach but, i want her around so ill buy it. i just want better and more for her tbh. not just screen-time, but also character development and depth! also friends! tired of carina being isolated, they did it on greys which. a waste! i meaaan, amelia was RIGHT. THERE. just look at the material! for s19, i want her, vic and travis to be friends or even just her and vic, like yesplease! i also want to know more about her and im tired of her being treated badly. like, i think society had progressed past carina being shitted on, thanks!

vic: my fave!!! they did so lazy by her this season ugh. she’s so charismatic and charming and just so good!! yet, her storyline was all over the place. we hardly got to see her sit with her grief  (spontaneous crying aside; barrett doss is so good!) she was just kind of... around. and that relationship w jackson. lol. it was so obviously for crossover potential and well. i didnt hate it or like it. actually, i was mostly indifferent. bored, even when they were onscreen together. i just didn't care and wanted more of vic, not vic and whoever. i know they're up in the air rn but i wouldn’t be torn up if he doesn’t come back. 

i want more for vic past just romantic entanglements. i know we’ve gotten a bit of her past, but i would like to see more! also, what about employment accomplishments? her artsy theatre friends? her family? just. more vic, please!!

she’s so fun and cool and when they let her, she shines. they need to let her! 

jack: my boy! so dumb, but i love him sm. he def needs like. major help, though lmao. and maybe it’s just me but im tired of his sex addict plot. like, we get it, but can we move on now? kthanks. they need to let him work on himself especially, the constant self sabotage. it's getting old. for ALL of them, actually, seriously, how many times can they all get in their own way.

andy: don’t really think about her. the mom storyline seems like it would be wonderfully dramatic, im intrigued. she and sullivan are cute, i guess. hope they make it.

ben: no major issues w his storyline, hardly remember it honestly. i liked the rapport he was building w vic and want them to explore that relationship more, its cute. 

travis: so funny and adorable, let him do more.

dean: loved him in all his entitled first born African son glory. i didnt so much love the baby plot but that always bores me. his sudden love for vic though. lol. since when? it def, came out of no where and while i really enjoy their friendship, to me, there is zero romantic chemistry there so i would prefer it if they just. stopped. lmao. also. the way he treated her because he could get a handle on his emotions? ridiculous. has humanity not like, gotten past the ‘he’s mean bc he likes you’ thing?? like grow up maybe?

and this isnt just about dean but like. are there not more single young people in seattle? why do they all have to sleep with the same 5 people. ik for the sake of plot, workplace relationships are easier but still. i think they should branch out. really. 

overall, i want better for all of them, and i think if the writers would just. take a moment and stop trying to tell so many stories in such little time, they could do better! also, whoever’s out there. please, enough w the crossovers! dont want to be forced to watch greys just to know what’s happening on 19. i get that they're in the same universe. it’s only mentioned every other episode. we. get, it. i liked what they did with private practice, it was like once every few seasons. and i know they won’t do that, but maybe, two a season. 

this is so much. but this how does have a ton of potential and i just really want it . like, get there.

[mayasdeluca]

That episode was a lot and had so much but overall I thought it was pretty good. That last Marina scene was so many mixed emotions and feelings but we got so much from it. 😭 We FINALLY heard Maya speak Italian and Carina was wearing Maya's SFD shirt!!! I'm so bummed that they did Carina dirty yet again for no good reason and felt it was necessary to have her find out that she can't get pregnant but the idea of using Maya's eggs is definitely intriguing and I do hope they continue that story until the end of the season now and we get to at least see some progress made. I do wonder if any of it will be touched on in a big way in episode 7 now.

The FaceTime scene was adorable too. Maya calling Liam probie and Danielle adding in a 'babe' (bless her) was perfect. The only thing missing was a reaction from Carina to Maya wearing her Class A's. But Maya loves her family so much and it's the cutest thing.

As for the other stuff...the audacity of the writers Emily to write Maya apologizing to Beckett for her part in what she did and then to not have Beckett apologize for literally torturing and bullying her for 6 months??? For dumping fake blood on her in a Halloween episode??? So Beckett's actions are excused and fine but Maya apologizes and this dumbass still doesn't trust her and acts like an absolute fool on the call and then Maya has to DOUBLE DOWN and own up to her part again and he says nothing again for the way he treated her?? That was such a slap in the face it's ridiculous.

I did like how they had Andy acknowledge that Maya is always there for her and the call back to them in the academy but they definitely could have done more with that. I guess it's impossible for Maya to ever get any kind of remorse or apology in return though.

Carina mentioning Andrew was too much for me 😭 Liam deserved to have his Zio Andrea in his life and I'll forever be sad that he doesn't have him.

The obsession the writers have with Ross and Sullivan truly needs to be studied. They will never be the epic love story romance that they continue to try and force on us.

But anyway...

“I didn't want to have a family until you showed me...what a family was.”

[englishstrawbie]

Oh sweet, broken Maya. She really is a mess. This got long...

Maya’s immediate reaction was interesting. Ok, so she was making out with her girlfriend when her mom turned up unexpectedly, but it was more than that. She was really flustered and couldn’t get her words out, as if she was nervous rather than surprised. I’d understand if it was her dad because she always had to work hard for his approval, but I never got the impression that she had a bad relationship with her mom. 

Before the camping episode earlier this season, I thought that Maya had some awareness of how badly her father had treated her when she was young, but the text message exchange showed that she still wanted and needed his approval. 

I’m intrigued to know what was said between Maya and her mom in between their first two scenes, because as soon as they cut back to them in the Captain’s office, Maya was angry and it was before we heard her mom call it abuse. She is really aggravated when she thinks her mom wants her to join in with bad-mouthing her dad, she’s immediately defensive on his behalf. But that’s understandable when you think about what she says later on. If she has to pick between her mom and dad then at the moment it’s obvious that she’d pick her dad.

I feel sad for her that after the conversation with Dr Lewis after Rigo’s death and trying to make changes to enjoy the life she has, instead of always working towards the next goal (her relationship with Carina, the vacation), she fell back into the ‘eyes forward’ mentality. She was barking orders and insensitive to the girl whose grandpa died, her eyes only on the goal which was getting everyone out of the bowling alley. The smile on her face when she reported that everyone was out said it all. 

I do wonder whether there was an element of fear, since Andy and Jack were stuck inside with the children and the last time we saw firefighters stuck in a burning building was when Pruitt died to save them - I wish we’d got a glimpse of that playing a part in Maya’s mood. But mostly it seemed to be about the influence her dad has on her, even now. 

It’s interesting that Maya’s defence of her dad is that he never hit them. That’s her idea of abuse. The idea that he was emotionally abusive isn’t something she can understand or accept at the moment. She views him as tough, a jerk and mean, but she doesn’t believe that his actions were harmful in any way, she only sees the success it brought her - the gold medal, becoming captain. And that’s despite the fact that it had such an adverse impact on her brother - remember him?! I don’t think he’s been mentioned since we saw him in season 1, but presumably he’s still out there living on the streets, hopefully still clean. I’m sure he’d see their dad’s actions as abuse. 

I don’t think Maya is anywhere close to being at a point where she can see it as abuse. I wonder if Emmett is going to be a part of how this plays out. I can see Maya using her dad’s tactics on him, pushing him to become a better firefighter in all the wrong ways - we’ve already seen it with the motorcycle accident episode. I think that’s going to end badly in some way and maybe that will be the wake up call she needs.

I loved Carina in this episode. Her face when she heard the story about Maya walking 20 miles home was so shocked and sad as she realised the sort of abuse Maya had been through. Until that point, she would have only heard Maya’s sugar-coated stories. I loved that she shared the story of her own father (I loved all the emotion that Stefania showed) and her realisation that it wasn’t okay that she was always walking on eggshells with him. It broke my shipper heart when Maya pushed her away at the end of that scene. I still have faith that they’re going to end this season in a good place, but I do want there to be an apology, and kindness, and healing in their next interactions. I don’t want this to be a relationship where all the important steps happen off-screen. I hope that the popularity of it will encourage the Grey’s writers to give her more to do in her own show, as well as Station 19. 

[englishstrawbie]

Please, Station 19, bring Stacy McKee back for season 4 to fix everything that Krista has ruined this year. 

There was actually some stuff in this episode that I liked (or, at least, interested me) and there was some stuff that I obviously did not like. At all.

It’s typical that we didn’t get to see how Maya and Carina got from the end of the last episode to being in bed together. Maya owed Carina an apology for yelling at her and it’s annoying that we didn’t get to see that. 

I am here for Maya’s struggle with understanding and accepting that what her dad did was abuse. I think it’s interesting that she’s stuck in the mindset that abuse has to be physical and she can’t see the emotional and psychological abuse that her dad was subjecting her to, even though Carina was confronting her with it. She is still defensive and still angry, and her immediate response is to build up a wall. I think it’s interesting that she was all in for talking about Carina’s family and Andrew’s (apparent) bipolar diagnosis, but wasn’t prepared to talk about her father. Carina has been trying so hard to tear down that wall and it’s a character flaw that Maya won’t let her in - but one that I feel they’re building towards fixing. Or, at least, I thought that’s where they were going. 

Some of the conversation between Maya and Andy in the gym was so interesting.  “Controlling because he loved you, that sounds like a Lifetime movie about a person who needs to escape.”  I mean, the conversation was about Pruitt, but they might as well have been talking about Maya’s dad. Also, Maya’s parting comment - “You should count yourself lucky” - it was almost a recognition that, deep down, she knows there’s some truth to what her mom and Carina have been saying. 

I actually thought the fight between Maya and Jack was good. I liked seeing him call her out on her pattern of behaviour - that she pushes away anyone who gets too close, she gets angry instead of confronting and dealing with her feelings. He was right when he says he knows her and she can’t cope with that, she can’t cope with Jack pushing her just as Carina has been doing. So I get that she’s on a path of self-sabotage. (If you haven’t already, I really recommend you watch the Instagram Live that Danielle did with Barrett, it’s on the Station 19 account and they’ve saved it as an IGTV. Towards the end Barrett asks Danielle about what she thinks was going through Maya’s head and it’s a good answer.) BUT I just wish they hadn’t gone down the sex/cheating route. I’m so tired of this sh*t. I went through it with Arizona and Callie several times, and I don’t need to go through it again with Maya and Carina. If there is even a hint of a pregnancy storyline, I’m out.

(Also, on a side note, I’m also annoyed that they dragged Jack into this mess - and I don’t even care much for him. But he’s been putting in the work, going to therapy, trying to do better. Then they pull him into this mess by having him sleep with Maya, knowing that she has a girlfriend and knowing that she’s not in a good place. Ugh.)

The last Maya and Carina scene just broke my shipper heart. Carina has been sat there all day waiting for Maya to come home, she wants so bad to be there for her and Maya keeps pushing her away. I do think that Carina needs to learn not to push Maya so hard and to recognise that Maya isn’t ready to face the reality of what happened with her dad just yet, but her intentions are good and she didn’t deserve the way Maya treated her when she got home. It was so cruel.

I’m still in, but I need to see some good resolution to all this. Maya’s character redemption isn’t going to be easy. I thought Emmett might play a part in getting her to realise that her dad’s methods are destructive, but I was wrong about that, and now with the cheating there’s a lot of redemption needed. This is Shondaland, I believe that at some point something is going to happen that brings it all home to Maya just what she has gone through, and how badly she’s treated Carina, and it’s going to hit her like a ton of bricks.

My optimism that Maya and Carina are going to end season 3 in a good place has hit rock bottom, they can’t get over all of this in just one episode. I just hope that over the hiatus, with the showrunners and writers seeing how popular this ship is and how pissed off the fans are, they realise that they need to treat them better and fix this mess quickly.