#and when marlene says i know what you're both capable of

[andorerso]

finally started watching TLOU and when Tess says “he answers to me” mhhmmm queen shit, you love to see it

[shaynawrites23]

Remus Lupin's Hands

i am having thoughts-

alright i bet Remus has really nice hands

he's got long fingers and his hands are really warm

and you just can't keep your eyes off the veins running from his arm to his hands

Remus knows this

but he doesn't know if you know he knows

it's not exactly a secret though

you hold his hand whenever you get the chance

all of Hogwarts can see you walking down the halls with your fingers entwined with his

or during class

your professors have made remarks about it many times

but you both always insist it helps you focus

its really not a lie

"Mr. Lupin, Ms. (y/l/n)! Trust me, you'll be much more capable in making potions if you have both hands free."

Remus looks up from the book he's holding open with his left hand, his right clasped in yours, and blinks innocently up at Slughorn. "But Professor, I do my best work with one hand-"

Professor Slughorn puts a hand in his coat pocket and glances between you and your boyfriend. You hide a smile by busying yourself arranging the ingredients by color, and you miss the miniscule upturn of your teacher's lips.

"Well, we'll see how your potion turns out. Mr. Black, perhaps you'd like to consider investing more attention in your potion instead of in your classmates' love life." With these remarks, he moves on to the next desk.

Sirius Black, ever the rebel, leans over and whispers conspiratorially with a smirk, "If you keep this up, you might even beat Marlene and Dorcas in being voted 'most likely to get marri-'"

He's cut off by Remus smacking him with the book in his left hand.

sometimes you also just use his hands as a heating pad

like when your own are cold

or when you're having period cramps

just grab your boyfriend's hands

he doesn't mind one bit

even if it sometimes results in... unexpected reactions

bonus though: it comes with cuddles

There's something about being snuggled up to your partner that eases the pain of periods. Maybe it's magic, maybe it's psychological... you don't know what it is, but when you're menstruating, Remus already knows he may be dragged over to hold you until you feel better.

That's how you find yourself in this position, sitting between your boyfriend's legs with his hands pressed to your belly, the warmth easing your discomfort just enough to have you sighing in content. Remus has his textbook open next to him, but turns his head every so often to press a kiss to your cheek where you rest your head against his shoulder.

"Moony, McGonagall said- woah! Lovebirds, get a room!" Sirius slaps a hand over his eyes the moment he sees how his friend's hands are up your shirt, a second too soon to notice said friend's deadpan glare.

"She's on her period, you twat. Get your head out of the gutter, Pads, what'd McGonagall say?"

"Yeah, yeah. Have fun, you two. Don't do anything I wouldn't. Or... anything Lily wouldn't." With a wink at the both of you, he's out the door again, ignoring Remus' deep sigh before he kisses you in apology.

another thing you love to do with his hands is kissing them when he least expects it

or anytime, really

just a soft kiss to his knuckles or his palm

you think its adorable how he gets flustered

no matter how many times you do it

he can never hide his grin

maybe you're a little in love with his hands

but he thinks he quite likes it

its cute to watch you tracing the scars over his hands

or to watch you playing with his fingers while you cuddle

so really

it works out quite well :)

[patrophthia]

say the word and i’m down | james potter

⇢ now playing ‘get up’: track 2

pairing: james potter x fem!reader

wc: 4.5k (finally a decent word count on my fics!)

genre: fluff, domestic fluff 🤢🤢, friends to lovers, best friend to lovers (?), mutual pining, james is so incredibly in love with reader, tiny bit of angst (so slight dw about it), reader has a love interest, mention of alcohol (reader drinking)

note: finally james part is done! sirius has a love interest in this (named meerkat), you can read about them in the first part for get up!

summary:

“I lied?” James asked, sounding disappointed in himself. “To you?”

“Yeah,” you tell him softly, so soft that he had to lean in just to hear you. “You told me you were already up when I called you. Why would you say that when I clearly woke you up?”

“Because there’s something’s that are more important than sleep,” he says as he helps you into the car, then with putting your seatbelt on —it’s more of him praying the seat belt from your clumsy grip and putting it on rather than you actively making an effort to do so but he finds your attempt cute nonetheless.

“There is?” You ask him.

“Mhmm.” There’s that hum again.

“What is it?” You ask, and Remus starts the car. The radio playing a familiar tune you couldn’t place a finger on. “Tell me.”

It’s dark in the car and though there’s enough space to accommodate you both; you still press yourself close to James, your thighs touching as you did so.

Smiling at you too brightly, James Potter confesses to your drunken state to remember self: “you.”

or your boyfriend is a dick but your best friend james always has your back so maybe, maybe it was time you ended things with him

James does not like your new boyfriend and —to be fair here, neither does Remus, Sirius, Peter, and Lily but he supposed that maybe their opinion on your new boyfriend (what was his name again? Joshua or something?) could be a little bit biassed seeing as they knew of his not so little crush on you. 

But he regresses, you're your own person who is more than just perfectly capable of dating whoever you wanted; even if the person who you were dating (Jake? Was that his name?) was wasting your precious time nor was he even deserving of it in the first place. 

He's not going to do anything about it though, he was your friend first —and someone who had fancied you for the longest time, second— so if you were to frown at him when he'd expressed his concern about Joey? (James truly can't remember, he just knew the guy's name began with a J) then he knew to just leave you be. 

Sirius thinks otherwise though. "Where are you going, sweetheart?" The gryffindor asks as you pass by their friend group, you're dressed up; that's what James noticed. You're too pretty for your own good and he hates it. 

"To see Jay," you answered and when you push your hair away from your face, James finds himself fiddling with the hair tie around his wrist. "I'll be back by dinner, though." 

Jay? That was his name, huh. If you liked guys with names beginning with J so much maybe you should add James to your radar. Godric knows he'll treat you better than Jay ever will. You could say anything, ask for anything and he'd get it for you. He was so sure that he'd be down for anything so long as you said the word. 

"Again?" Sirius asks. "You're still going out with that dickhead?" 

"He has a name, Pads," you murmur with a slight frown; their dislike towards your boyfriend wasn't new to you, you've known about their disdain towards him for a while now. "And I am, I like him. Can't we just leave it at that?" 

"I don't like him." Sirius offers his opinion, then he shrugs. "Merlin, none of us do, sweetheart. Surely, you ought to find someone better than him." 

The group —Remus, James, Peter, Lily, and even Marlene's eyes widen as large as saucers, not expecting to be dragged into the conversation. Peter's hands raise up defensively, as if he was afraid you'd do something about his hatred towards your boyfriend. "I— I like Jay." 

Widened eyes turn to glares; the group snickering at Peter's sudden change up. "I'm sure you do, Peter." You knew, of course you knew that the rat was lying. "Still, it doesn't matter if you lots like him or not, I do. And I'm the one dating him, so leave me alone. I don't go around judging you for who you date, do I?" 

You don't; James agrees. You really don't, you didn't judge James —nor did you Lily, when the two went out for a few months before deciding that it'd be better for them to stay as just friends. You didn't judge Sirius when he began dating his partner (Meerkat, that’s what he called them with reason being meerkats are shy animals, just like them) who was quite literally the opposite of him, they say opposite attracts and you were more than just supportive of them for it. 

You've never judged any of them for their past partners before so why should they judge you now? It's not fair for you, is it? 

The group relents, biting back any remarks they might have as you pat yourself down. Getting slightly frustrated when your hair falls in front of your face as you lean down to tie up your shoelace. 

You're frustrated, he can tell. You're frustrated by your straying hair, your judging friends, and your stupid stupid shoe laces. You push your hair back aggressively, scoffing to yourself as you let your thoughts consume you. 

What if your friends were right? Maybe Jay really wasn't worth your time. Should you just not go? This date —nay, meet up with Jay was not a date, sure he was your boyfriend but he never specifically said that this was a date. So if you were to ditch him and spend time with your friends instead, it wouldn't be that big of a deal right? 

But then again, if you were to not go then you've gotten dressed up; all nice and —maybe not so— pretty, for nothing. You'd only prove your friends right by wasting your time because of Jay once again. So maybe you should go, maybe you should go on this not date and try not to think about whether your friends were right about him all along. Maybe you should —Merlin, this piece of hair just won't fucking leave you alone. 

"Here." From the corner of your eyes, you spot a black rubber band. You take it with a small 'thanks', your hands moving away from your laces to tie at your hair instead. A hand swats at yours when they return to their place by your sneakers, it being replaced with ones belonging to certain glasses clad Quidditch players instead. "Here, let me." 

"I double knotted it," James says, tying up your left laces before moving to the right ones. "Just in case." He pats at your feet once he finishes, flashing a bright smile up at you. You can't help but return it, James' smiles had always been infectious. "Have fun with Jay, Yn."

Lily spares a glance at James once she was sure you were far enough to not overhear what they might say; she doesn't bother beating around the bush. "You never carried a hair tie when we were together," she says first; not unkindly —just merely stating an observation of hers. "When did you start doing that?" 

James knows where she wants this conversation to go, he's smart enough to understand the words left unsaid. But he, unlike Lily, quite enjoys beating around the bush. "When Pads decided to grow his hair out." 

Lily's green eyes turn to Sirius now, grey ones widening as if he was only now learning about this. "So it's for Pads?" 

"Technically," James says. "Pads, and anyone who might need it." James failed to mention that he was totally lying though. "Now, about that party?" 

Lily doesn't push for what she desperately wants to know; she's played matchmaker for Sirius once and though she wants to do it again for her ex boyfriend —she knew better than to push James on this. So she lets the four boys (and Marlene) go back to what the conversation was about before you passed by them; a party of sorts. She couldn't have cared less, not when it didn't really involve her. 

It might involve you though, maybe that's why she started listening into the conversation once more. 

James had it bad didn't he? Everyone could see it, even he himself could see just how down bad he was for you. It's as clear as days when it's in broad daylight and he just wouldn't tear his eyes away from you. And it's even clearer now, in the middle of the night, when Sirius was suddenly woken up by James —his glasses askew, groggily telling him about how you'd called him sounding distraught— that it's as clear as ever. 

It's summer, James' back home with Peter, Remus, and Sirius spending the summer with him. In another life time you'd also be spending this summer with them as well —which you technically are, seeing as you've been living a door down from the Potters his entire life time— but he'd hope that you'd be spending the summer with them in a different sense (a romantic sense, he wants to say).

He grabs his dad’s car keys, and extra pair of slippers while Sirius wakes up the other two of their friend group. He tries not to think about you too much as he makes his way over, though all attempts of doing so are to no avail when Remus asks him to recall what you said over the phone. 

It’s late into the night when you stumble out of the bathroom and out of the dance floor. Your words are slightly slurred from the alcohol you’ve had earlier tonight but you’re still sober enough to tell Jay where you’re headed. He only nodded at your words, not bothering to follow after you to make sure you’re okay. 

If you’re reminded of how James would always follow after you whenever you’re headed to the powder room, you don’t let yourself dwell over it. James is James, Jay is Jay. And you like Jay, not James; so it’s best if you didn’t compare the two of them to one another, right? 

You take a glance at a mirror, your blush has faded over the night, your lipstick the slightest tint of what it once was, your under eyes are darkened from the residue of your mascara, your feet are sore and you’re tired. But you’re here with your boyfriend, and Jay doesn’t seem like he wants to leave anytime so you touch up your make up and take a deep breath. 

You need to sacrifice some things if you want your relationship to work out, even if you were starting to doubt just how much you actually want things to work out with Jay. 

Taking a final breath in, you prepare yourself for blasting music just outside the door. You’ve gone partying before so clubbing shouldn’t be anything new to you —although, it’s different this time around. This time, unlike the other times you’ve been out this late at night, Lily isn’t with you —neither is Marlene, nor is James and if you were being quite honest, it’s less fun without James. 

Albeit it could be because James always had Sirius, Remus, and Peter with him so now that you’re without him, you’re also without them. Maybe it’s not fun because you miss your friends, or maybe, it’s not fun because you miss James. 

But you try not think about it, turning on your heels as you scan the club for Jay. He’s not where you left him on the dance floor, now finding himself by the bar with a Blond girl by his side. She’s pretty, you note; her hand presses against his chest as an advance at him and he makes no move in rejecting her, basking in her attention. 

You're hesitant when you move towards them, considering whether you should just leave him and them be or try to defend your own honour of being his girlfriend. You went with the latter, continuing slowly towards them; picking up their conversation little by little. 

“Should we get out of here?” She asks, twisting at the ends of her hair. The rhinestone on her cheeks glimmers under the club lighting —and if you’re being honest, you’d understand Jay if he decides to leave with her. 

Jay cranes his head backwards though, as if he was searching for something —someone, before he shakes his head. “Can’t,” he says with a disappointed sigh, “I came here with my friend. Maybe next time?” 

The blond pouts prettily, “next time? How will I find you next time?” 

“I’ll be here next Friday,” he tells her, his voice is louder now as you stand just a few steps behind them. “I’ll be here, same time.” He then leans in, his lips close to her ears as he makes an empty promise with her. 

He pulls back and she giggles, her hand dropping as she goes on her way, bumping into you slightly as you approach Jay. “Who was that?” You asked. 

Jay smiles at you brightly, expertly masking his surprise at your sudden appearance. “No one,” he tells you reassuringly, an arm finding its way onto your shoulders, “just a friend.” 

The thing about boys (you realise this now) is that, if given the chance they will lie. And although some are better liars than others, Jay was absolutely not one of them. You purse your lips; “really?” 

“Mhmm,” he hums at you. And when he places a wet kiss on your cheek, you decide that you’ve had enough as you shrug his arms off your shoulders. 

“I’m going home,” you say all too aggressively and you don’t miss the confusion —or maybe, the look of realisation that took over his expression. “Have fun with your friend.” 

He doesn’t follow you when you storm out and you’re too frustrated to care; digging into your purse for a few cents as you make your way towards the nearest telephone booth you could find. The line rings twice before a sleepy voice picks up. “Hello?” 

“Hey, Prongs,” you say first. “Are you up? Can you pick me up? I’m tired, and I just want to go home.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” There’s rustling on the other end of the phone. “I’m up, where are you?” 

“Outside the club by Sirius’ new flat,” you tell him vaguely but James is smart enough to figure it out on his own. “You know the one with the Pur—”

“Purple door?” James finishes, and the rustling finally stops; seemingly have put his coat on. “Let me grab the other and I’ll be there.” 

“You’ll be here?” 

“Mhmm,” he hums. And you know you can trust James to be here when you hear it, you know you can trust James because his tone is different from Jay’s, because James is different. “I’ll be there right now, if Jay’s with you then lose him.” 

A bitter laugh slips out of you, leaning against the booth wall. “He’s not,” you tell him. “Just be here okay?” 

“I will,” James promised. “Stay safe for me.” 

“I will.” 

When James arrives, fifteen minutes later with the other two Marauders in his dad’s car (Peter tried to be there, he really did —but fell back asleep with one leg through his pants; and honestly you don’t blame him for it, it’s one A.M in the morning for shit’s sake), his hair is a mess, round glasses slipping at the speed of which he’s turning to find you —did you realise that James had been totally lying. 

Remus waves at you as he gets out from the back and into the driver’s seat —Sirius smiling at you from the passenger side. There’s a pair of slippers in James hand, and when he finally gets to you, he hurriedly leans down as he eases your feet out of your heels and into his a-few-sizes-too-big-for-you slippers. “Why are you out here alone?”

Your explanation is simple, and your voice so slurred that it makes him laugh. “It stinks in there.” 

“Really?” He teases you, standing up with your purse and heels in one arm while the other finds its way around your waist as he helps you over to the car. “Then what have you been doing all night long?” 

“Wondering why boys always lie,” you tell him, taking in his Pyjamas under his coat, “even you.” 

“I lied?” James asked, sounding disappointed in himself. “To you?” 

“Yeah,” you tell him softly, so softly that he had to lean in just to hear you. “You told me you were already up when I called you. Why would you say that when I clearly woke you up?” 

“Because there’s something’s that are more important than sleep,” he says as he helps you into the car, then with putting your seatbelt on —it’s more of him prying the seat belt from your clumsy grip and putting it on rather than you actively making an effort to do so but he finds your attempt cute nonetheless. 

“There is?” You ask him. 

“Mhmm.” There’s that hum again. 

“What is it?” You ask, and Remus starts the car. The radio playing a familiar tune you couldn’t place a finger on. “Tell me.”

It’s dark in the car and though there’s enough space to accommodate you both; you still press yourself close to James, your thighs touching as you did so. 

Smiling at you too brightly, James Potter confesses to your too drunken state to remember self: “you.” 

It’s when you’re about to board the Hogwarts Express that you decided that you’ve had enough. Jay is dressed to nines, for what you didn’t know —well at least not at first you didn’t. Not until the Blond from the club you went to a few weeks back came to see him off did you know why. 

He’s put on extra cologne, hair styled in a way that you’ve always insisted looked good on him but just wasn’t his taste. He doesn’t see you when you spot them, she’s tucked into him; clutching onto him desperately with a frown on her face as she tries to see him off. He’s smiling down at her, a smile he’s never once shown you in the last few months you’ve been together. 

“Are you ready?” James asks, coming up behind you; your own baggage placed with his as he carried them besides him. Platform nine and three-quarters a few steps in front of you and your friend group. “We should go now if we want good seats.” 

“Yeah,” you say, nodding too distractedly for him to not notice. “Just give me a second.” 

James turns to Lily, his eyes wide as he looks at her confusingly. And when Lily flails her arm towards Jay’s direction, James follows it to find Jay and his new companion. 

He doesn’t say anything, letting you process this moment in yourself. And you think to yourself: 

Your friends don’t like Jay. You don’t like Jay —at least, not anymore. And James, James doesn’t like Jay. James doesn’t like Jay, and neither do you. 

You turn to your friends, softly telling them: “go ahead, I’ll be there in a minute.” They’re hesitant to do what they’re told and you understand them, you wouldn’t leave your friend if they were in your situation. “Just need a second to break up with someone.”

Sirius doesn’t bother to hide his smile, looking as proud of you as ever. “Take your time, sweetheart.” He tells you, canines peeking through his grin. “I’ll buy you a treat as a reward too.” 

You roll your eyes at him, a small smile present. “Do I really need to be rewarded for that?” 

“Not really.” Sirius shrugs. “I just really hate the guy so finally losing him is an event worth celebrating to me.” 

“Huh?” You sounded out. “Well aren’t you going to leave me to it?” 

“Like hell we are,” Lily murmurs, “go break up with him, we’ll wait for you here.” 

You do as you told, turning once, twice to look at the glazed look on James’ face and Peter’s encouraging thumbs up and awkward smile. You go through the motions then, approaching Jay with a smile as he scrambled to get the Blond off of his arms. 

There’s a gasp, then slap —not from you, or to you, but from the Blond and onto the ‘cheating scum’s’ (her words, not yours) face. The blond  apologises to you after you successfully end things with Jay, walking with you back to your friends. 

She tells you how she would’ve never even touched Jay with a three hundred meters pole if she had known he had a girlfriend and apologised again. And when her eyes land on Sirius, clearly interested; Sirius is quick enough to shut her down. 

“I’m married.” He tells her, and when his (normally) super shy of a partner, hits his arm playfully at his words; all he does is take them into his arms. 

On the train ride over —with James, Lily, and Remus on head boy, head girl, and prefect duties; you make a terrifying discovery on why you don’t feel sad (not even the slightest bit so) over your break up. 

And it was because, for the longest time, your heart has been preoccupied with another J name guy who lied to you just as much. Except where one J name guy ended his name at just three letters, the one who has been running through your mind way too often ended with five. 

And where one would lie about how he was flirting with another girl, the other would lie about how much sleep he’s gotten just so he could be by your side. 

You like James Potter. So fervently that it makes you feel sick. James was your friend for so many years that it feels almost wrong to like him as much as you do. Almost, that’s the keyword here. 

“I like James,” you muttered suddenly, so sudden that it startled Sirius’ partner who was slowly falling asleep to a story he was telling them. “Oh fuck, I like James.” 

Sirius turns his attention away from his lover and over to you, his smile as charming as ever. “Good news to you doll, James likes you too.” 

You look at him for a second, not believing him. Of course you don’t. Again, boys, when given the chance, will absolutely lie to you straight through their teeth, so you don’t believe him. And you don’t let yourself think about it, even if Meerkat also agrees with him. 

It’s after dinner, when Lily, Marlene, Meerkat —which you find out then, happened to be their Patronus as well— make their way towards the common room and Lily starts up the conversation, did you realise your feelings might just be requited. 

“You like James?” Lily says happily. And when you glance at Meerkat with a small frown, all they do is smile at you bashfully. You’re not upset at them for it, you too tell your best friend everything. “You know he fancies you too right?” 

And this time, unlike when you heard Sirius say it earlier this morning. You actually believe her. “Really?”

“Mhmm,” she hums. “Always did I think,” she tells you, there’s no hidden tone of bitterness in her voice, only girls to girls advice. “Even before we went out.” 

“She was secretly rooting for the two of you even when she had a crush on James,” Marlene interferes and Lily swats her for it. “We all were.” 

Meerkat nods in agreement. “We still are,” they say timidly. “Especially now with Jay gone,” they added. “You deserve better than him.” 

“And you three think that James is better than him?” 

Lily is slow, her tone is kind and warm when she asks you. “Is he not?” 

James Potter is better than Jay. By Kilometres, he is. But it’s hard having a crush on someone you’ve known your entire life. And no matter how much you try to convince yourself that he likes you back nothing actually makes you believe that he does. 

Even if he tucks your straying hair back behind your ear, or carries an extra jacket around just in case you need one, or sneaks into the kitchen to cook you your favourite meals in the middle of the night (“I learnt them from mum just for you!” He’d tell you excitedly once) or look for you after. every. quidditch. game he played, and your weekly hang outs starts feeling a little too much like dates —maybe that’s why he’s been bringing Remus and Peter to your one on one hangs out nowadays. 

Maybe he did like you back just as much as you did him. And if he did like you back, why hasn’t made the move to ask you out yet? 

“I know that look,” Remus says, sitting down beside you, staring up at the Gryffindor’s quidditch team practising just above us. “It’s because you just broke up with Jay. It’s wrong if he just asks you out right away.” 

You don’t question how Remus knew it straight away, Remus just knows things sometimes and at this point you don’t see the point in questioning him anymore. “But I broke up with Jay two months ago.”

“Okay,” Remus says, one eye closed as his hand goes up to shield his face, “would you ask me out if I ended things with someone just two months back?” 

“No,” you say, “I don’t like you like that.” 

Remus snickers with a small laugh, finding your attitude amusing. “Of course you don’t. You like Prongs like that.” 

“I like Prongs like that,” You repeated after him. “And I don’t know what to do about it.” 

He turns to you now, mousy brown hair turning blonde under the sunlight. “How about you take the initiative? Ask him out.” 

“You want me to ask James out?” 

“Why not?” Remus shrugs. “It’s not like he’d say no.” 

James had asked for you to wait for him by the stands after his practice, something about wanting your approval on an upcoming prank of theirs. And seeing as he was the captain of the team, he’d immediately taken off to get changed the second he spotted you. Even if his estimated time of arrival for you were dead wrong. 

James grins at you, then at Remus as he approaches you both by the stand, his gear in hand. “Hi,” he says. “Should we get going?” 

“Mhmm.” You hum before adding. “Actually Remus, would you give us a second?” 

Remus tucks his hands into his pockets, a sweet smile on his face as you leave you two. “ ‘course.” 

James’ eyes follow Remus' figure before it circled back to you. “Hi?” He says again, this time much more confused and hesitant. 

There’s no point in beating around the bush, you’ve never liked beating around the bush anyways. “Go out with me.” 

James' smile is sly. Unfortunately for you, James, unlike you, loves beating around the bush. “Why?” 

“I will throw you off this stand,” you say with a roll of your eyes, your tone is playful and he knows you’re feigning annoyance. “You know why, James.” 

“Is it because you like me?” You nod. “Like I Like you?” His smile brightens when you shut your eyes in embarrassment. “I do tend to have that effect on people.” 

“You know what,” you scoff, opening your eyes to look at him. “Never mind.” 

“Ahhh! no take backs.” He’s quick to grab onto your wrist when you turn to leave. “Doesn’t work that way unfortunately.” 

“Unfortunately,” you parrot him. 

“Unfortunately,” he repeats after himself with a small nod. “Now where should we go?” 

“Go?”

“For our first date,” he says, his voice as soft as ever. “Where else?” 

“I dunno,” you murmur, “where do you want to go?” 

“Anywhere,” he tells you. “I’ll be happy anywhere we go so long as I’m with you, just say the word and I’m down.” 

You doubt he’d be very happy going to an Orthodontist where his dentist was a clown but then again, all boys do is lie. And maybe you like this boy too much (and know him too well) to be bothered by his lies so you let it slide. At least for now.

“Okay,” you tell him. “Let’s just go anywhere.”

— from bee: whew! this is was so fun to write, it’s been a while since i wrote james and he’s so so lovely i love writing him so much, i hope you like this!!

[starstruckmoony]

the lakes.

masterlist

pairing - remus lupin x fem!reader

summary - you and remus like books, but you also like each other. the black brothers add to the drama.

trope/tags - non-magic!au, university/college!au, fluff, references to literature

word count - 4.8k

warnings - language

part 1 / part 2

remus lupin was never the talkative type. he was the guy who would usually leave the socialising part and all of that extrovert bullshit to his friends, while he just smiled and nodded at whatever was being said. and that was only sometimes. he'd often just put on a sort of an annoyed expression and it did the job of limiting unwanted social interactions very well. new people rarely ever came up to him, whether it was because witnessing what happens when one tries to strike up a conversation with him was discouraging them, or the intentionally threatening look he always had on his face. it's not like he wasn't approachable, but he certainly tried his best to make it seem like he wasn't. he just sort of preferred books over people most of the time. that was why he almost ran away from you when you spoke to him out of the blue one day.

"can i recommend something?" you questioned when you happened to notice which shelf he happened to be most interested in. what a coincidence it was that both of you had been rummaging through the large sections of classics in the library one afternoon in search for something new to read. "uh- um- yes." he turned his entire body towards you clumsily, almost dropping his coffee and the stack of books tucked under his arm. you chuckled at him.

"jane eyre, if you haven't read it already. i mean it's pretty popular so you might have," you trailed off, feeling the tension in the room rise, "but yeah, it's a great book." you reprimanded yourself inwardly. you felt like an idiot, you could have prepared for this a bit better.

"jane eyre?" he shot back. it took you off guard. he didn't want it to come out that way. it wasn't meant to sound rude, or confrontational, or anything of that sort. remus fought the urge to slap himself. "sorry."

"what– oh, it's fine." you smiled, almost apologetically. remus ungainly snatched the book you recommended from the shelf, and walked past you without uttering another word. "awkward." marlene sang from behind you, making a face at the uncomfortable conversation she was forced to witness.

"this is ridiculous." you huffed in embarrassment, letting your head fall onto her shoulder. she sighed, throwing an arm around you in a half-assed attempt at being sympathetic.

you fancied remus lupin. and saying that was an understatement. you had been completely and utterly enthralled by the guy since the first time you saw him in the same exact library a couple of months prior. it was like a sight out of all those romance novels you'd read throughout your life - you locked your eyes with him through the cracks in the shelves for only a moment, and that one little look was enough to make your heart surrender. marlene thought it was totally absurd, and frankly, she had good reason to. sirius found it quite hilarious though, and james, of course, was the first one who was willing to support you and your infatuation with remus.

"you can always try again, you know." james shrugged, giving you a comforting smile. it was a poor form of encouragement, nothing was capable of truly fixing your broken spirit in that moment, but you took what you could get.

"i swear he hates me." you moaned miserabley as you pulled away from marlene, throwing your arms up in the air in frustration. "you're being paranoid." marlene crossed her arms.

"he's like that with everyone." james chimed in, almost dismissively.

"give me one example." you challenged. sure, you appreciated the comfort you'd get from your friends, but not when you felt like they were lying to you to make you feel better. you gave james a rather challenging glare.

"off the top of my head, sirius." he reminded you.

"that's because he's sirius." you retorted with an eye roll.

"talking 'bout me?" the aforementioned suddenly appeared from behind one of the bookshelves and jumped onto james' back. you quietly chuckled at the idiotic tussle the two were having. such a sight wasn't anything out of the ordinary, and they only stopped when madam pince threatened to throw them outside, probably for the third time that week, you noted.

"what brings someone like you to a library anyway?" you quirked an eyebrow at sirius once the librarian left you and your friends alone (after quietly screaming at all of you). you weren't sure how she did it, that woman was the least and the most intimidating person you had ever met.

"well, if you must know," he clapped his hands together, "i need some help with my english literature essay." he grinned innocently and batted his eyelashes at you.

you groaned. "i told you i wasn't going to write them for you anymore." he pouted.

"can't you do anything yourself? i do your history essays, rosier does your greek assignments and he's in the year below, and evans does your french homework. all the bloody time. lazy arse." marlene scoffed, kicking him in the shin. sirius moaned, but not in the pained way. james hid his face in his sweater to cover up a laugh. you pinched the bridge of your nose. your head was already beginning to hurt and you hadn't even seen the topic he got assigned to write about.

"okay, but what if i pay you?" sirius suggested with another smile after recovering, seeming scarily confident. james looked a bit alarmed.

"maybe you should write one on capitalism, hm?" marlene proposed with a teasing smile. sirius seemed very displeased by her comment.

"how's your nicotine addiction?" he smirked. marlene let out an offended gasp and smacked him across the head with a book. "ouch!"

"not wordsworth!" you cried, yanking it out of her hands and dusting it off. no, not the poetry. james burst into giggles.

"funny enough," sirius winced as he rubbed the spot on his head that was now becoming sore, "mcgonagall asked me to write one on the lake poets." you pursed your lips in thought. that didn't sound half-bad, and it was something you could most likely manage, unlike all of those other essays that sirius was begging you to write for him. you hoped so, at least. luck did appear to be taking a turn in your way, but in an entirely different direction all at once.

***

"i'm gonna fucking kill myself." remus slammed the stack of books he was carrying down onto the table, which shook it entirely and created an echoing bang through the whole study hall. "my cocoa-" pandora desperately reached for the paper cup, but it was too late. the warm chocolate drink spilled everywhere in front of her. "that cost me two quid, you know." she pouted and began digging through her bag for some tissues.

"bloody hell, what happened to you?" lily looked at him in horror. remus felt like he was about to lose his mind any second, and she could sense it too. "y/n l/n happened to me."

"you didn't ask her out, did you?" regulus quirked an eyebrow at him. "do i look like i have the balls for that?" remus slumped down into an empty chair next to mary, hitting his head against the table repeatedly. mary pulled him back by the collar of his shirt to get him to stop and shook her head at him in disappointment.

remus trailed his eyes over all of his friends, and they all seemed to be searching for an explanation for the sudden outburst. he ran his hands through his hair, frowning.

"i'm pretty sure hates me after what i'd just done." he muttered in defeat.

remus had a tiny crush on you, but that was just him lying to himself and trying to make his life easier. he was kind of failing, though. he didn't think he was the type to fall in love. he used to prefer the idea of living alone, or with a friend, rather than a lover, but then he met you. he had fallen head over heels for you the moment he saw you in the library, and every time he laid his eyes on you or heard you speak, it got worse. much, much worse. he didn't even need regulus (who's life purpose was to make fun of him) to tell him he was being ridiculous, he was very well aware of it himself. the girls found it adorable though, especially lily, who was certain that the two of you would end up together by the end of the year.

"we don't have mind reading abilities, you know." lily said as she closed her notebook and propped her chin into her palm, her full focus now on remus.

"i fucking ran off when she tried to talk to me. she even recommended a book and i just– i just walked away like some dimwit." he confessed, uncomfortably squirming in his seat. his face was turning bright red.

"christ, you really are stupid." regulus snorted, not even sparing him a glance.

"thanks, regulus, that was really comforting." remus rolled his eyes. regulus blew him a kiss and then continued with the snake doodle in his textbook.

"okay, i don't think it sounds that bad." mary added in attempt to ease the situation, giving remus a comforting smile, but it wasn't much help. he didn't know if anything could help. he wasn't even sure if he was ever going to able to face you again. besides, being optimistic (which was something mary was always good at) seemed like a rather difficult concept to remus.

"oh, come on, cheer up, will you?" pandora said as she tossed the dirty tissues into a nearby rubbish bin. "you'll have plenty more opportunities to talk to her, don't let one bad experience bring you down so easily."

remus shook his head. he was over-thinking it all again, and being the biggest pessimist to ever walk the earth was like a cherry on top.

"you've got no idea how awful it looked. i feel terrible." remus cringed at himself, "i've just ruined all of my chances." he whined, covering his face in shame.

"remus, you can't live like that, you know? we all do awkward things from time to time and get embarrassed, but it doesn't mean the world's gonna end." lily reminded him. those were the words remus heard more times than he could count. his expression turned sour. coming to terms with that was a lot harder than it seemed. could his day have got any worse?

"lily's right, remus," mary threw a comforting arm around him, "look at it positively. she recommended you a book, meaning you have the perfect excuse to talk to her now. find her in the library again when you read it, maybe something will become of that." mary said, looking around for support.

lily nodded enthusiastically. remus considered the idea. he was nowhere near confident enough to speak to you properly, he was awful at keeping conversations going with people he fancied either way, but mary's suggestion didn't sound that bad. sure, it was horrifying, but not enough to have him spiraling into a tiny existential crisis. he pictured a few possible scenarios in his head, and when he realised that most of them are going in a way that will make him never want to leave his dorm again, he nodded before he could make himself do otherwise. "that's cute and all, but i say i follow him aro-"

"oh no, you better not move a finger." pandora interrupted regulus before he could finish. he scoffed and leaned back into his chair, scowling childishly. regulus may be one of remus' closest friends, but boy did he get a thrill poking fun at him. taking him somewhere for moral support was always a disaster waiting to happen.

"you'll be alright, i'm positive. besides, i think y/n quite likes you." mary winked at the tall boy, grinning cheekily. the tall boy smiled a bit, but still couldn't ignore that feeling of doubt that rose in him. he loathed drawing attention to himself in any way, shape, or form more than anything in the world. but it was you on his mind this time, and mary was rarely ever wrong. it made remus doubt every decision he had ever made in his life.

***

"have i ever told you lot how much i detest english? not sure if i did, but i hate it. my day's been ruined, just so you know." sirius began rambling the second you left the classroom after what he thought was a ridiculously boring lesson no normal human being would have been able to keep up with. and not to mention that professor mcgonagall outright called him out for not paying attention in front of everybody, and almost in a mocking way, too.

"you tell us everyday, mate." james sighed and gave him a pat on the back. he was already well prepared to watch sirius sulk and whinge for the rest of the day.

"hates english, hates french, hates cultural studies, is there anything you like around here?" marlene laughed in amusement.

"tobacco." sirius shoved a hand down the pocket of his trousers and pulled out a cigarette the second you all stepped outside. you weren't quite paying attention to what your friends were saying, their conversation posed as more of a background noise to your own doings. you were busy writing sirius' stupid essay, and you found yourself struggling. quite a lot, and much more than you had anticipated. you had points to make, not that many, but they were there. having quotes to back them would certainly ease it.

"damn you, black," you muttered, not loud enough for anybody to hear, "hey, i'm gonna head to the library, don't wait for me." you scrambled to shove the papers into your bag and already began walking away from the group.

"wait, wh-"

"i said don't wait for me!" you sang, waving them goodbye in hurry and running back into the corridor you just came out of. you found yourself in the library in a matter of seconds, and located the bookshelf with works from the era of romanticism with ease. that's where you spent time pretty often, and you picked up what you were searching for effortlessly.

you spotted an empty table somewhere in the corner, and began skimming through the pages of the poetry book in search of one specific verse, one that could help you explain why you impulsively stated that the poets loved transcendence;

i listened, motionless and still;

and, as i mounted up the hill,

the music in my heart i bore,

long after it was heard no more.

remus happened to be lurking around the library at the same time as you. and once he decided to make his way over to his favourite table after picking up a book he wanted to read, he realised that the spot was already taken by you.

he cursed inwardly. this could be his moment. the most perfect opportunity standing right in front of him. he just had to not fuck it up. sounds easy enough, right?

"who am i kidding?" he muttered to himself. it did not sound easy at all, and he would have definitely got the hell out of there if you hadn't looked up and directly at him.

"hi." he greeted you and cleared his throat, already cringing at himself. "i, uh–" he started of unsurely, scratching the back of neck in distress, "can i sit here? with you?"

"oh! yeah, sure." you pushed some of your things aside to make room for remus, and he awkwardly took at seat next to you. you observed his face for a moment, though the fact that he was incredibly nervous could have been noticed from a kilometer away.

"so, uh, about the other day– i shouldn't have left like that. i don't know what came over me." he kept tugging at the sleeves of his jumper as he spoke, wondering if he chose the right words.

"hey, it's fine, don't worry." you immediately reassured him. the thought of him caring enough to apologise for something you didn't even think he needed to be sorry for warmed your heart.

"no, i– it was rude of me." remus was embarrassingly struggling to keep eye contact with you as he spoke. he felt like a lovesick sixteen year old all over again, and he was praying to the gods above that you wouldn't notice.

"remus, you don't have to apologise for anything." he could only smile. he absolutely loved the way you said his name, and he could have sworn everything around him stopped for a moment when you did.

"um, okay. anyway, i've uhm, i've read jane eyre since, you know, you recommended it. and i liked it." he wasn't sure how he managed to build up the courage to bring it up, but he wasn't about to complain. he was only hoping that you were going to take it well. regardless of your reassurance, remus still had doubts.

"really?" you blurted out, but immediately got scared that you came off a bit too enthusiastic. maybe even eager. whether he liked you back or not (you were pretty sure he didn't), the last thing you wanted to do was embarrass yourself by acting like an obsessed teenager.

"yeah. you- you've got good taste." you almost sighed in relief. a smile made its way to your lips, and as much as you wished you could hide it, it wouldn't go away.

"thank you." you laughed, more at yourself and the way you were so flustered. you couldn't remember the last time you felt that way talking to somebody. it all seemed to be going well, but then a rather awkward silence ensued. it wasn't anything unexpected, and you definitely didn't want remus to leave so soon, so you mindlessly brought up the assignment you were writing for sirius.

"um, i'm working on an essay about the lake poets at the moment." you pointed to the mess of papers on the table and the opened book next to them. remus curiously peered over your arm to take a better look at it all, and he seemed a bit bemused.

"i thought mcgonagall assigned sirius to do that." he said as his eyes trailed over everything you had written.

"she did," you didn't think remus was that observant, "but it's fine, i always write his essays for him." you shrugged. "why?" remus laughed, locking his eyes with yours when he looked up from the papers. there was no denying that there was a spark between the two of you, even though neither of you were aware of it yet.

"he buys me coffee whenever i do, but this one's fucking up my life a little. i may as well just ask him to hand his entire bank account over to me." you responded truthfully, without a hint of sarcasm, yet you still drew a quiet chuckle from remus. you kept your eyes on the paper, biting back a smile.

remus chewed on the inside of his cheek thoughtfully. he was having an internal argument with himself, not knowing whether he should leave you to work in peace and save himself from any additional awkwardness that may ensue if he just sits there like an idiot waiting for something to happen, or maybe, just maybe, offer to help you.

he didn't know how, but he opted for the latter.

***

"i think that milk was rancid." remus said as you stepped out of the library together, and began walking through the school's deserted corridors. it was dark outside, you completely lost track of time. hours upon hours must have passed since remus asked if you needed any help. the quiet exchanging of words about the poets gradually became a different conversation, and at a certain point, the essay laid there on the table, long forgotten. you promised yourself you'll finish it another time. strangely (not strangely at all), writing it no longer seemed so nightmarish. maybe because it gave you an excuse to talk to remus. you stayed past the closing time, as madam pince was nice enough to let you, and you downed several cheap drinks from the coffee vending machine down the corridor. certainly not your brightest (or proudest) moment.

"god, my stomach hurts," you winced, laughing like it would make the uncomfortable feeling in your gut any better, "we should get proper coffee next time we see each other." the words slipped out of your mouth without much thought behind them. but remus nodded, smiling foolishly. next time. he kept repeating the words in his head. next time. you really found him interesting enough to want to see him again. he was moments away from bursting with happiness.

you walked back to the dormitories together, still chatting quietly even when you made it there, and you would have stayed outside the door for god knows how long if sirius hadn't peeked his head from his and james' shared room. he wasn't being very slick at all, remus noticed him right away and immediately shut his mouth.

"what?" you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, turning your head to see what caused remus' sudden change in behaviour. you fought back the silent need to punch your friend in the face once you saw him, and bit your tongue for a brief moment to stop yourself from going off on him.

"oh, sorry, am i interrupting something?" your cheeks reddened at the teasing tone of his voice. remus was just as flustered as you. he cleared his throat uncomfortably, handing you your bag which he offered to carry as you were returning to your dorms.

"i had a nice time today," he muttered, making sure to say the words quiet enough so that only you would hear him. "yeah, me too." you whispered. "i'll see you around?" he hated how it sounded like a question. you nodded your head with a smile, waving him goodbye as he disappeared down the hallway.

"the course of true love never did run smooth." sirius sang, smirking at the irritated expression on your face. "don't you dare quote shakespeare to me, you fatuous little bastard." you whisper-yelled, poking at his chest. he laughed in your face.

"aw, did i ruin your date?" he said in fake sympathy, placing a hand over his heart. "it wasn't a date," you were quick to defend yourself, "would have been nice if it was, though." you mumbled, sighing and leaning against the wall.

"why not ask him, then?"

"what, out?"

"no, in," he rolled his eyes, "yes, ask him out, y/n. oh my word." he said rather loudly, and you scrambled to push him inside before anybody else could eavesdrop on you that night.

"do you not know the concept of being quiet?" you said in disbelief as you slammed the door shut, "and you know what? i bloody will, watch me!" you said confidently. sirius scoffed. as if.

"what the fuck happened?" james sat up on his bed, making the comicbook he was reading drop to the floor.

"i ruined her little date with lupin and now she's mad at me." sirius snorted, falling onto his bed and crossing his arms behind his head.

"so that's why you were stuck in the library for so long." james blurted out when he managed to connect the dots in his head.

"yes, and i think i just found a way for you to repay me for writing your stupid essay." you turned to sirius, resting your hands on your waist.

"i'm listening." he responded absentmindedly. he definitely was not listening, and began humming the melody of moonage daydream instead.

"you're gonna help me set up a date." sirius went quiet. he sat up, thinking about what you said and then looked back at you in utter confusion.

"i think you're asking for help from the wrong person." he said truthfully.

"who am i meant to ask for help then? no one i'm close to is close to remus!" you threw your arms up in the air in frustration.

"and i am?" sirius argued.

"you know everything about everyone." you groaned. seems like this wasn't going to be as easy as you thought it will.

"yeah, fair point, but i do think we could find someone better." sirius said, though there was not much thought behind what was coming out of his mouth.

"enlighten me." you asserted.

"barty?" sirius suggested, leaving you slightly flabbergasted when you realised that he wasn't being sarcastic at all. "are we thinking about the same barty?"

"i only know one barty."

"exactly, and the only thing that barty has been interested in doing for the last four months is evan. so, bigger priorities." you pointed out. sirius groaned, "look, i would love to do this for you, but you're pining over a walking stereotype of a bookworm. so really, it's a bit difficult for me to, y'know, put myself in his shoes and try to pretend like i'd know what he's got going on in that head of his." he explained, scratching the back of his neck in thought.

"you must know somebody else who could help that isn't barty. there's no way you don't." james added in attempt to ease the situation. you looked at sirius hopefully, and a rather amused expression painted his features, "as a matter of fact, i do."

that was how you found yourselves sitting at a table with regulus the next morning, isolated from all of the other students. remus was nowhere to be seen, which was an added bonus because seeing you talk to one of his friends would have seemed rather suspicious after last night's turn of events, especially since sirius was with you, too. the black brothers avoided each other like wildfire in public more often than not, despite being very close.

regulus listened attentively as you and sirius explained the whole situation to him, from the moment you first laid your eyes on remus in the library, to your little hang out from the day prior. he was finding it stupidly hilarious how you obliviously kept repeating that remus most likely wasn't into you, but he wasn't about rat his friend out like that. not too bluntly, that is.

"so let me get this straight. you want me to help you plan a date with remus because i'm the only one who's genius enough to do so as i indulge in reading myself very often, even though you're both bookworms who could easily enjoy an outing to the local bookstore while drinking cheap coffee?" regulus quiered, just to confirm that you weren't taking the piss like he thought you were.

"correct." you replied shortly. oh, so you were serious. regulus was intrigued, and maybe even a bit offended.

"you're asking me to play the side character in the story? is that what you want me to do?" he fell back into his chair dramatically, tossing his fork across the table.

"what? who said that?" sirius furrowed his eyebrows, giving his brother a questioning glare.

"me." the younger crossed his arms, looking at the two of you in an almost challenging manner.

"we're not here to argue," you groaned, "no one said you have to do this." you didn't realise how difficult bargaining with regulus would actually be. you'd been around sirius so much that you'd got used to easy deals, but his brother was the complete opposite. it's not that he couldn't make simple arrangements with people, no, it's just that he always sort of chose not to.

"what's in it for me?" he tilted his head to the side, smirking slyly.

"that's it, we're leaving!" sirius stood up, pretty prepared to drag you out of the dining hall if you refused to leave yourself.

"no, wait!" you tugged at the sleeve of his jacket desperately, pulling him down and back to his seat which he unwillingly slumped into.

"i'll pay you." you offered.

"no, you won't!" sirius interrupted.

"how much?" regulus ignored him.

"she will not pay you!" the loud tone of sirius' voice caused a few students at the tables around you to turn their heads in your direction.

"i can pay him!" you argued.

"he has more than enough money already!" he retorted.

"how much?" regulus persisted.

"fifty quid." you sighed. that was your lunch money for the entire month, and this was not something you were supposed to be spending it on. sirius couldn't believe you, he looked almost entirely stupefied by what you had done.

"alright," regulus said calmly, standing up from his chair and dusting himself off, "deal. i'll be off now, you know where to find me." he flipped sirius off as he left, and even managed to dodge the piece of bread the older threw at him as he exited the dining hall.

you weren't feeling particularly hopeful.