#and when they turn sonya back to moroi

[goodluckroza]

and it's killing me to love you

A/N: see end for notes.

ep 1x8 coda

You'll think about it later, knees pressed to the hard floor, hands clasped loosely as you rest them on the velvet in front of you . You’ll think about the press of Tatiana’s mouth to yours, her long nails clawing at your cheek; how you're still not sure if it was pleasure or poison. Forgiveness or punishment. Either way, it makes you feel sick.

You’ll know you should be focusing on holy things. Tatiana is not holy, you don't believe - but far be it from you to determine what the Elements bless and what they do not.

With your knees still pressed to the hard floor, thighs wedged against the wooden bottom of the prie-dieu, you'll try to drag your thoughts back to the saints, to the gods, but then her face will appear behind the press of your eyelids. Rose. Roza. You'll feel nauseated all over again. For that wanton kiss with Tatiana. For what came before. You don’t even know - yet - that Tatiana was the one who called for ‘live fire', or about Sonya Karp, or all the other terrible things Tatiana Vogul has done in her pursuit of the throne. She was just a woman who knew you could never love her, who perhaps shared and understood some of your pain. And maybe, for just a heartbeat, she could have helped you forget about her. 

But it’s never that easy. 

When Tatiana approached you in the church, speaking of kindred spirits, of faith, of Alexi, you’d felt vulnerable. Here was one of the most powerful Moroi in the dominion telling you she admired your faith. You didn’t have the heart to tell her that it wasn’t faith that left you anchored at the alter for three days after Alexi’s death; it was fear and loss. They were paralyzing. It felt like a moment of weakness - not strength. The saints had not helped you this time.

But bringing up Alexi reminded you of duty, of they come first, so when she asked, you’d agreed to be her proxy. This wasn’t personal, or about politics - it was an obligation.

Then she happened. Rose. Like she always does, bending the world around her to do her bidding. Rose is always a problem without an answer. When she steps into a room she sucks all the space out of it; when she’s near you she pulls all the air from your lungs. It’s just how she is, a vortex of passion and power. She’d fought in the ring like she always does - a dancer flirting with danger. Weightless and elegant and deadly. So beautiful, it hurts you. And oh, how she hurt you.

You’re not a self-hating man - you made peace with your demons long ago. But tonight, as you watched Rose fly across the ring, you felt them clawing at your chest, the taste of your blood thick and cloying in your mouth. In that moment, you felt the terrible, paralyzing fear you’d felt after you'd beaten your father. In the church after Alexi’s death. In the moments after you hesitated to help Princess Vasilisa. That crack in your chassis, in your perfectly calibrated control. Rose had penetrated that, because of course she did - she threatens it every time she’s with you - and you’d snapped.

At that moment, you hated yourself. 

Her kick to your face felt like some kind of penance. You thought you deserved everything that came to you after that - like some kind of martyr. In retrospect, you could include the kiss in that. Even if you don't know everything yet, you still knew Rose was right when she said that Tatiana Vogul stands for everything that’s terrible in your world. She is the poison chalice you chose to drink from anyway. Alexi would turn in his grave if he knew. Yet here you still are, resigned to your duty, to your faith, to the crumbs that you’re offered from the tables of people like Tatiana Vogul.

But, you'll wonder as you press your thumbs against the bridge of your nose, do you still even have those? The moment Rose Hathaway ran through the Academy’s gardens and into your life, as you wrestled her to the ground next to Princess Vasilisa’s car, you were lost. Or perhaps it was before then - perhaps it started with Alexi’s death. From that small amount of kindling, Rose became the fuel, and Caroni was the spark. 

Or maybe it’s just been you all along. You're your own undoing. You untied the knot tethering yourself to the dock that is your faith, and now you’re unmoored, floating in an endless nothing. If you can’t be loyal to your duty as a Dhampir, to the saints and their gods, what do you have left? Who are you anymore? 

All you know is that Rose terrifies you as much as the thought of freedom does, but despite that, you love her. Oh, how you love her.

You know you’ll probably go back to Tatiana anyway, even if it makes you feel sick, seeking some kind of repententence in regret and the kiss of a woman who you’ll never have and who’ll never have you. Because being with her makes you feel like you can still somehow anchor yourself to your duty. Because going back to her is probably what you deserve. Because going back to her will be easy, even if it isn’t right.

You'll shift your weight and feel the metal of your stake dig into your hip. They come first. Yet here you'll be, wallowing in self pity.

Knees pressed to the hard floor, hands clasped loosely as you rest them on the velvet in front of you, thighs wedged against the wooden bottom of the prie-dieu and your stake digging into your hip, you'll think of holy things. You'll think of holy things, and try not to think about how, if you were true to your convictions - true to staying away from her - you would’ve asked for a transfer to a different provice a long time ago.  

You'll think of holy things as you say prayer in Russian and try desperately not to contemplate how you know you find more peace with Rose Hathaway than you’ll ever find in a church. 

She is inevitable. 

You'll think of holy things.

---

A/N: title taken from the Vancouver Sleep Clinic song of the same name. this was basically me trying to stitch together my understandings of show!dimitri and book!dimitri and explain to myself (justify? i guess?) what happened in ep 8. i agree with Sisi and Kieron that Rose shouldn't have kept hitting Dimitri when he was down, and that Dimitri should've ended everything on his feet, and the whole Tatiana thing ................... yeah anyway idk. i haven't written for VA before and i'm rusty at best so sorry if it's awful. thanks for reading.

[lingeringscars]

ever since sonya has turned back from being strigoi, she is actively working on finding a vaccine to protect against others from turning strigoi. it is something that she deeply regrets, and even if she does understand and have empathy for herself and how she was struggling, she always has darkness around her heart over the life she took. she struggles a lot and likely has to be reminded not to go looking into the person that she killed. she didn’t know them. it was a target of convivence. if she starts, then she’ll start looking at every person she killed when she was strigoi, and she is terrified of trying something again. 

she later learns that it is impossible for her to turn into a strigoi again, but that does not change the fear that she could become so desperate and removed from reality that she tries. 

it helps to be grounded in work and surrounded by something that could help others. she considers herself to be very adept in spirit, even after being removed from it for so long ( and ofc it no longer works properly or the way it used to after coming back from the dead. she didn’t come back rightTM). 

she also works with guardians. she believes in moroi fighting alongside guardians, even if she herself is not a fighter. despite this, she sees the value and purpose involved in her being trained how to stake. she knows that she is one of the few spirit users that are known, and that gives her a responsibility not just to the other spirit users, but also to all moroi and dhampir who can be turned. her focus is on the vaccine to prevent any more strigoi from being formed, but she knows that she needs to be able to stake a strigoi to transform them back as well. she’s likely horrendous at it. she’s trying. 

[pitofneverendingsarcasm]

Thinking about how Sydney doesn't once question Dimitri being on a roadtrip with her, despite not 6 months earlier her attending his funeral with Rose.

[acesydneysage]

My thoughts on how an Alchemist revolution could go

I turned some of the initial points into a one-shot, but I'm very unlikely to actually write anything that sees all of it through to the end, so I'm laying out what I imagine would happen. I could follow the initial fic's format and just write cutesy domestic fluff with hints of what is going on in the Alchemist revolution in the background, but who knows

In The Golden Lily, Sonya thought Sydney's blood might be key to a vaccine, since it was undrinkable to Strigoi. Later, in The Fiery Heart, in their visit to Inez, we find out that it's because her blood is coated in human magic. That makes it taste foul to undead vampires, and also broke her Alchemist tattoo, by countering the compulsion of Moroi magic with human magic.

She eventually uses a similar principle to make the tattoo breaking ink she gives to Marcus, and that she uses to help the other re-education inmates in Silver Shadows.

So, with that in mind:

My initial idea was that one of Marcus' operatives, who got tattooed with Sydney's ink, would suffer a Strigoi attack. Their blood would turn out to be undrinkable. Since Sydney's ink breaks the Alchemist tattoo, the receivers blood would get coated with human magic, like a witch's.

I would like it if that person was one of the people Sydney helped in re-education, because I'd like to think those people stayed loyal to her, and maybe see her as a leader. Just because it's really touching to me how she was still worried about others, and risking herself to help, while she was going through her worst nightmare.

In my fic I went with Sydney's roommate Emma, "the Sydney Sage of re-education", because I really love her. She really did turn out to be the Sydney of re-education, at least in part, because while she was repeating the party line and trying to seem cooperative, she was actually a badass rebel who fights back. There are other reasons, I'll get to that in the end.

Sydney's ink potentially working as a Strigoi vaccine is something important enough that she would risk her truce with the Alchemists to investigate. And since the ink also makes people immune to their mind control, the Alchemists wouldn't work with them like they did for the spirit vaccine. I truly believe that they value their control more than human souls.

I'm sure Declan’s blood will be important to the spirit vaccine. They couldn't mass produce it since it required a recent Strigoi restoration, trapping the spirit before it left the blood, while his blood is described as brimming with spirit. But Sydney and Adrian don't want their son to be experimented on, so that's just more incentive to seek an alternative.

I think Sydney’s ink wouldn't work on Moroi, going by the logic of the magic described in the books (human magic wins out in humans), but helping humans is already a big deal, and it could maybe work on dhampirs.

Meanwhile, the Alchemists have been getting polarized. When it's revealed that some of them were helping the Warriors of Light in the end of the series, while Warriors were keeping Moroi captive, that causes controversy. They eventually start to get divided into factions.

After the US re-education center burns down, those who oppose re-education try to defend that it not be rebuilt, and that other centers be shut down. There are symbolic concessions, but they eventually get basically re-education by another name. Similar things happen when it comes to demands for more transparency, and less authoritarianism in general.

And of course there's a reaction to progressive demands. A hardcore anti-Moroi faction is amenable to teaming up with the Warriors. They're tired of "fighting evil by cataloguing it."

If this faction wins out, they won't actually care that Sydney is blackmailing them into letting her live with proof that they worked with the Warriors, since they openly want that, and they consider her continued existence a humiliation. So Sydney and Adrian wouldn't be able to sit out this fight.

There are more and more defectors who simply leave and join Marcus (or go into hiding and try to stay away from that whole mess). But out of those who stay Alchemists, as things start to devolve into an actual civil war, the moderate faction has a lot of infighting about joining up with the rebels.

That's at least in part because Sydney is one of their most notorious members, and while they might not want to see all the Moroi exterminated, marrying one of them is still going way too far to a lot of them.

So, let's talk allies. Sydney definitely put Marcus in touch with more witches and taught them how to make the ink. And I think besides kidnapping Moroi and dhampirs, the Warriors could be capturing witches too, which would turn them against each other.

In re-education, when it's revealed that Sydney has magic they say that has happened before, and I imagine they handled it with the same amount of compassion. I think maybe Chantal is a witch too and that's why she was fown in the punishment level with Sydney.

Alicia definitely showed that some witches might be willing to work with them for their personal gain, but I think as a community they would protect their own. They wouldn't look kindly on Alchemists torturing witches. And even if they were born into the Alchemists, they chose to be witches, so their allegiance to them would take precedence in their minds. Sydney's coven and Ms. Terwilliger are definitely on board.

I think the rebels might be able to get the Keepers on their side, since they have a complicated relationship with the Alchemists, where they seemto deliberately keepthem dependent. Marcus' stated goal for a long time was helping Moroi on their own terms, that's what he did for a long while. He definitely didn't have any plans to topple the Alchemists in the Bloodlines era, he didn't thinkthat was possible. So they occasionally helped them get better technology and resources that the Alchemists don't want them to have, and they promise to help them further in the future. That gets them the Keepers sympathy.

The Moroi government obviously isn't gonna side with the anti-Moroi faction, but I think they'd try to stay out of the conflict and not be dragged into the fighting for as long as possible. But they've come to depend on the Alchemists too much to keep them hidden, and they're now in chaos.

With the Alchemists weakened by a civil war they aren't really doing a great job of keeping up the masquerade, Moroi secrecy gets very precarious.

Now. While Alchemists claim to be very worried about human souls, absolutely no one in the VA universe seems that worried about regular humans' lives. They don't even know about the existence of Strigoi so they could protect themselves. And yes, there are humans who'd work with Strigoi. Strigoi seem to have zero issue finding those humans as is, they simply tell them about vampires themselves when they wanna get servants.

Now there's a vaccine that could help protect humans, and really reduce Strigoi's capacity to feed, but you have to actually apply them to humans. And more and more supernatural events are being sloppily covered up since the Alchemists are otherwise preoccupied.

I'm sure there are some valid reasons for the masquerade, and humans might not behave amazingly towards supernatural creatures, but leaving them completely helpless to this threat isn't very ethical, and certainly not when you have a vaccine that could help them.

And honestly, as cliche as that argument is in discussions of monster hunting, humans could potentially take the Strigoi out, we have some pretty amazing weapons. Or we could be massively incompetent about a problem that we are fully capable of solving. You know...

So the supernatural world gets revealed, and that makes the Alchemists pretty obsolete. Of course, although they have been weakened by the decade(s) of infighting, that doesn't mean they lose all of their resources and connections all at once, but it would be a huge blow their relevance.

They get splintered into a lot of different groups that can still cause trouble, but they're no longer the omnipresent shadow organization they used to be.

And if this whole process took about 15 years, Declan and his buddies would be neatly protagonist aged in time to deal with the huge upheaval and the new mess of problems brought on by the integration of the Moroi and human world. And he'd more capable of thinking about his own relationship to the spirit vaccine and making his own decisions.

So most of this post was written to be understood whether or not you read Silver Stars, but this final bit is more about what could directly follow. When it comes to the fic I was more worried about the characters and their feelings, and excuses for domestic fluff and hurt/confort. So here's the fic on AO3 and on Tumblr.

In the end of The Ruby Circle, there's indication that Zoe Sage and Stanton, with the incentive of Sydney's blackmail, will be trying to reform the Alchemists. I don't really think they're reformable, attempts to extinguish re-education would basically result in rebranding. @sydneysageivashkov has some lesbian!Zoe head that I think are pretty compatible with my headcanons for an Alchemist revolution, and what Zoe would be doing during that initial period.

I think it could take a few more years, 3 or 4, for Sydney to actually have to leave her home and go into hiding. Declan foes actually get a little bit of a normal school experience. I imagine this whole process going very slowly, as the situation gradually deteriorates. And the witches would now claim Sydney as one of their own, making it a bigger problem for the Alchemists to attack her directly, lest they make enemies of the whole magical community.

By the time Sydney has to go into hiding I imagine Zoe is gonna have to leave the Alchemists as well. The other reason why I chose Emma for the first fic, is that she was in re-education in part for her sister's actions, so it shows that the Alchemists wouldn't be above hurting Zoe for Sydney's actions.

Sydney has very important reasons to join the revolution, and in fact she might eventually not have a choice, but she knows that once she officially breaks her truce with the Alchemists her whole family and even her fellow re-education inmates that she got amnesty for.

I imagine Sydney, Adrian, Eddie and Declan could spend a while hiding in a ranch very out of the way that Chantal and Duncan got themselves. Insert Adrian joke about that escape plan where cute blonde girls had to wear cow girl outfits.

Duncan has been shown to be pretty hesitant to risk going against authority, and Chantal is even more psychologically messed up than Sydney and the rest of them. Sydney feels pretty awful about placing them in danger, but they're both very grateful to her for helping them escape. Also Chantal is a really badass witch, although a bit unstable, I'll eventually find something to do with that, revolution wise.

But Sydney and Adrian would eventually leave and get more active roles in the revolution. I would very much like it to be an actual collective movement and not one special girl bringing down the Alchemists by herself, but I think Sydney would have a pretty prominent role after everything she went through.

This is way too long, but I had fun with it, and if you got this far, thank you for reading 😀

[thegoldenlily]

Victor belongs in the Bad Dads Club for making Natalie spy on Lissa and Rose and kill forest animals then convincing her to turn into a Strigoi. Not to mention, Lissa and Rose trusted him, he was like Lissa's uncle and the only royal Moroi adult who Rose looked up to, basically an honorary father figure to them, and he paid back their trust by kidnapping and torturing Lissa and sexually assaulting Rose

Victor really is an evil piece of crap. The things he did to his family, to his own daughter...forcing her into an evil creature to benefit himself. Manipulating and violating two young women who trusted him, like you said...Again, I think a lot of this flew over my head when I first read the books (I was...not a very bright child lol). But reflecting on this now and being able to understand the depths of what he did...yikes doesn't even begin to cover it.

I'm really not sure where they're going with Victor's character in the show. We have quite a few POC cast members, which is great, but a lot of the stories from the book for those characters are filled with terrible things. Like the aforementioned plots for Victor, Sonya willingly turning Strigoi, and Mason being murdered. I'm wondering if they are going to change any of these things up in the show? I think Sonya is Victor's adopted child, so it might be interesting to see if instead of the Natalie plot, he lost Sonya due to the effects of Spirit and was grieiving the loss of his daughter, trying to get her back.

TL;DR: Victor is a member of the Bad Dad Club and also the Piece of Garbage club

[belikov-barnes]

8, 12, 15, and 28 (though I just saw you read them out of order and spoiled it all and I gotta say I am absolutely howling with laughter I'm so sorry)

8. Favorite Moroi?

Christian! I love my little snarky emo boi, and his fire skills are badass as hell. I love that scene in Shadow Kiss where he and Rose team up. Also he has been through so much trauma and he's just prickly because it's an act of self protection. Someone needs to give that boy some therapy.

12. Which spirit ability would you want the most? (Ie dream walking, healing, compulsion, mind reading, aura reading etc.)

I feel like this is the basic answer, but I'd love to be able to read auras. The way Adrian describes it is just so beautiful. I would also love the dream walking, but if I had to pick one it would be seeing auras. Like seeing Adrian basically fall in love with Sydney through her aura, byeee I am deceased imagine the deep bond and connection that would forge between you. I want that.

Also, am I crazy or does Sonya or Robert have telekinesis powers when they're fighting in Last Sacrifice??? I remember a chair hitting Rose in the back, and I genuinely can't remember if someone threw that or if it was a spirit ability but holy shit that was wild.

EDIT: I went back and checked and yes Robert literally has telekinetic abilities. I feel like we as a fandom all collectively forgot that.

15. Favorite book in the series?

There is not a more difficult question for me to answer. Can I say all of them? Because I'm an absolute sucker for romitri I've probably got to say that Shadow Kiss is my favourite overall, but then I have favourite scenes and moments in all of the others, especially Blood Promise and Last Sacrifice. And then I loveeee The Golden Lily and The Indigo Spell, and omg Silver Shadows. They're all too good, it's like asking a mother to pick her favourite child.

28. Most shocking plot twist?

I mean yeah I already knew about Victor's betrayal, Dimitri turning, the attack on the school, the events in Russia... all because I read everything out of order lmao. But the whole Tasha reveal scene I was not expecting. That totally shocked me (and honestly the evidence regarding that still confuses me to this day) but then Rose getting fUCKING SHOT UM HELLO I had to flick to the next page to make sure she was alive before I finished reading the chapter. I genuinely thought Richelle was killing off her main character and had a mini heart attack

[sydneysageivashkov]

hear those bells ring deep in your soul (1/2)

Lissa Dragomir should be happy with her life: she's gotten her place on the Council, her relationship is going well, spirit darkness isn't bothering her, and she's studying her dream degree. Instead, a girl with a purple and yellow aura is following her, insisting that there's a whole life Lissa doesn't remember.

Lissa seeks out answers, but answers have the potential to turn the entire Moroi world upside down, and with it, everything Lissa knows about her past.

ao3 | ff.net dragoway friendship, dragozera, sydrian, jeddie, romitri

Lissa struggled into a sitting position, her hand moving to check the back of her head. Warm blood was oozing from the crown of her head, wetting her fingers. She didn’t have time to focus on it, though – Sonya could heal her later.

If there was a later.

Rose struggled to her feet beside Lissa. Getting thrown against the wall had seen Rose worse for wear, and even Lissa could tell that she was flagging. Still, Rose planted herself in front of Lissa, bringing her fists up in front of her.

“You’re not going to hurt her,” snarled Rose.

“Hurt her?” said Victor, cocking his head. “Oh, no, my dear. I have no need to hurt her.”

Rose spat at him. There was blood colouring her spittle. “Bullshit. You want to be king, then you need to take out the queen.”

“Not quite,” said Victor. He nodded at Robert and said, “Everything is possible with spirit. Even a peaceful revolution.”

“Peaceful?” scoffed Rose. “Peaceful like using good people as your puppets?” Rose took her eyes off Victor, just for a moment, to glance desperately at Dimitri. He didn’t respond, his arms crossed as he started blankly across the room.

“Robert,” said Victor. “It’s time.”

“Rose,” said Lissa. She didn’t know what Victor was planning with Robert, but she knew it wasn’t good, and she couldn’t see them pulling off another miraculous escape: not with Dimitri compelled, Christian knocked out, and Eddie still on the other side of the country. She just wanted to see her best friend’s face one more time before it ended. “Rose, I love you.”

“Liss, I can’t -”

Lissa Dragomir woke up from her nightmare to her boyfriend hovering over her, staring down at her in worry. She blinked away the last of her sleep, his face sharpening in her vision. “Morning,” she whispered.

He learnt down and kissed her lazily, languidly, before pulling away. She made a face; he had morning breath. “Morning,” he echoed.

“What time is it?” she asked.

“Just past seven,” he said. “You’ve got the Council meeting soon, remember?”

“Oh, god,” said Lissa, bolting out of bed. “I’m going to be late! You should have woken me sooner!”

Adrian’s laughter followed her out of the room.

-

Lissa arrived at the Council Chambers with exactly three minutes to spare. It wasn’t the entrance she had wanted to make to her first Council session, but at least she hadn’t been late. That would have been completely unacceptable.

“Vasilisa!” exclaimed Victor. She hurried over to him, smiling wide at her uncle. “I was starting to worry.”

“Adrian let me sleep in a little too long,” said Lissa, brushing a stray hair behind her ear. “I’m not too late, am I?”

“Of course not,” said Victor. “The only restriction is getting here before the doors close, and you’ve made that.”

“Good,” said Lissa, relieved. “I can’t believe I slept so late; I could barely sleep last night, I was so nervous about today.”

“There’s nothing to be nervous about, my dear,” said Victor. “Trust me. You’ll do wonderfully.”

Lissa smiled. “Thank you, Uncle – or should I be calling you Your Majesty in here?”

“You’ll call me Your Majesty when the doors close,” said Victor. “But I think we can get away with it for the moment, hm?”

“If you say so, Uncle,” said Lissa. Behind them, the royal guardians closed the doors, Guardian Belikov ritually locking them. Lissa left Victor to take her seat under the Dragomir banner. The seats were more comfortable than she expected them to be, but she still couldn’t sit easy.

Are you out there, Father? she wondered. Are you proud of me?

She looked out at the gallery. Adrian was just taking his seat in the front row, and when he saw her looking, he shot her a thumbs up. She smothered her smile, looking down at the table. She focused on the smooth wood that the council table had been carved from, the way the lacquer gleamed under the lights, the dark spots in the wood – anything to keep Adrian from distracting her.

“I now call to order the latest Council session,” said Victor. He stood at the head of the table. Behind him was his throne, carved meticulously with the symbol of the Dashkov at its top, with the other royal families’ crests winding their way down the sides of the chair. “The first order of business is our newest member – Princess Dragomir?”

Lissa rose to her feet, willing herself not to fall or otherwise embarrass herself. Everybody was looking at her, but she ignored the eyes on her, looking steadily at Victor. “Your Majesty.”

“Do you swear to serve the Moroi people?” asked Victor.

“I do,” said Lissa steadily.

“Do you swear to uphold and defend our laws?”

“I do.”

Victor smiled. “Welcome to the Council, Princess.”

Lissa shrank back into her seat gratefully. Across the table, Ariana Szelsky smiled at her reassuringly. It could have gone worse, she thought.

It was a short meeting – Lissa’s induction and the return of the Dragomirs was the main agenda for the day. Lissa listened calmly through the rest of the meeting. She had studied most of the issues in the lead up to the family quorum being changed so she could hit the ground running when she finally joined the Council.

Afterwards, she ducked out of the palace before Adrian had a chance to find her. She loved her boyfriend, but his ideas of celebration were probably extravagant. Lissa didn’t want a party right now. She wanted to spend the time remembering her father and Andre, the ones who should have been seated at the Council table.

She cut across the lawns and hurried towards the gardens. The Court had a large set of gardens – fitting, for the royal residence. It was mostly quiet at this time of night, and she knew the quietest spots in it. She ducked under weeping willow’s curtain of leaves. It was her favourite place in the whole of Court, a little nest away from the eyes of everyone else. She was the Princess Dragomir, and the eyes followed her everywhere – but not here.

She stopped short. There was someone else under her willow. He looked up, pushing his black hair out of his eyes and narrowing them at her.

“Sorry,” said Lissa. “I didn’t realise -”

“Princess Dragomir,” he said. “Didn’t expect to see you here. Aren’t you meant to be gossiping with the rest of the Council? Deciding how to get more dhampirs killed?”

Lissa flushed, her fists clenching. “I didn’t have anything to do with the age law, and you know it, Ozera.”

She hadn’t spoken to Christian Ozera in years. He had kept to himself in school, and she had left him to it. In all honesty, she was surprised he was at Court – she would have expected him to distance himself from the Moroi world as much as he could, after graduation – and especially after what had happened with his aunt.

“I bet you spent all of your first Council session fighting it, though,” said Christian. He widened his eyes in mock surprise. “Oh, wait, the Council was too busy bending over itself welcoming the lost lamb home, wasn’t it?”

“Look, I had nothing to do with the age law, and I had nothing to do with your aunt,” said Lissa. “Not that I have to share my goals with you, but the King and I are working to repeal the age law, so if you want to go after anyone, it should be Nathan Ivashkov or Reece Taurus, not someone who’s on your side.”

Christian stared at her for a long moment then looked down. “You’re right. Fine. You’re not the problem with the system.”

“Thank you,” huffed Lissa. “Now, are you going to harass me all afternoon, or am I fine to stay?”

“You can stay, but -” Christian paused then continued, “Don’t you have that Ivashkov boyfriend? Shouldn’t you be with him after your first Council session? Seems like the kind of thing a boyfriend would want to celebrate.”

“He does,” said Lissa with a sigh. “There’s just not much worth celebrating. I haven’t done anything yet. I didn’t say two words in that session. There’s no point in celebrating being a royal if I can’t do anything with my status.” She smiled wistfully. “When I get the age law repealed, or legalise magical self-defence, then maybe we can throw a party. But until then, it’s just celebrating a terrible system.”

Christian half-smiled at her. “You know, you might actually be alright, Princess Dragomir.”

“Your approval means so much to me,” deadpanned Lissa, but she smiled all the same.

When she went back to her and Adrian’s apartment, the sun was already starting to crest on the horizon. She hadn’t meant to stay out so late. She hadn’t meant to talk to Christian for any longer than it took to apologise for disturbing him. And yet…

She pushed the door open, and Adrian jumped. Her eyes widened at the sight: he was by the stove, a pot on and boiling something. The counter was like a disaster zone, with too many mismatching ingredients to possibly be used for just one meal.

“Lissa!” exclaimed Adrian. “Shit, I -” He gestured at the mess. “I meant to make you dinner.”

Lissa smiled. It was sweet of him, even if it had ended up a bit of a disaster. “We’ll get take out.”

“I made you something else,” said Adrian. “Something that I didn’t fuck up.” He scurried to the other side of the room, where there was something waiting for Lissa that hadn’t been there when she had left that morning. A sheet covered a canvas, and Adrian pulled it off with a flourish.

It was a painting. A girl stood in a red dress, surrounded by purple and yellow. It was a beautiful painting, but…

“Is that me?” asked Lissa in confusion.

“Yeah!” said Adrian.

“But the painting has brown eyes,” said Lissa. The work was so impressionistic she was willing to forgive other differences between her and the girl in the painting, but the brown eyes seemed a bit too far from reality.

Adrian waved his hand dismissively. “It just worked better that way. Artistic licence.” He looked at her hopefully. “Do you like it?”

“Of course I do,” said Lissa, pulling him into a hug. “Thank you, Adrian.”

-

Lissa loved college. Really, she did. Her political science major was preparing her for her life on the Council, and her creative writing minor was keeping her sane through all her stresses. Still, that didn’t mean that lectures couldn’t drone on a bit.

God, Foucault was the worst.

She sighed as she rested her head on her hand. Next to her, Serena smirked and whispered, “How do you think the rest of us feel?” She nodded minutely at her partner, Will Kavinsky, who was seated closest to the door, ready for any Strigoi.

Lissa smothered a grin and turned to look at the lecturer again. Her head snapped back. There was a girl there that she had seen before. Not in class – Lissa had gotten familiar with all of her classmates’ auras in the first few weeks of semester. This girl was new, and so was her yellow-and-purple aura. But Lissa had seen that aura before somewhere, and recently, too.

She didn’t look out of place. She was alternating between watching the lecturer and scribbling down notes, just like everyone else in the room. She was dressed nicely, but not too nicely for a college campus, and she hadn’t looked at Lissa once, as far as anyone had noticed. If she had spent too much time studying Lissa, then Serena or Will would have noticed. But Lissa was certain: she’d seen that girl before.

Well. Class had certainly gotten much more interesting.

After her class ended, Lissa had an hour until her elective class on religion and folklore started. She and Serena headed to their preferred café on campus, Will following a safe distance behind. Lissa ordered a hot chocolate for herself and an espresso for Serena – her guardians needed all the help they could get, especially since they were personally interested in Lissa’s classes. Then she chose a seat by the window and waited.

The girl turned up, just like Lissa had known she would. Both Serena and Will looked up as the door opened, but their gazes seemed to glide right off her. She ordered herself a latte before settling down on the opposite side of the café, pulling out a book and beginning to read. The book was thick and well-worn, a hardcover with leaves of paper that weren’t quite all the same size. The girl ran her fingers over the words, mouthing something to herself. Her aura flared more purple than ever.

“Lissa?” asked Serena. “Everything alright?”

The girl was moving. She had put her book back in her bag, picked it up, and headed to the bathroom. Not anything unusual about it – maybe a little paranoid, since the only half-drunk coffee seemed to indicate she was coming back – but Lissa still got to her feet. “I just need a minute. I’ll be in the bathroom for a second, alright?”

“Alright,” said Serena, who would no doubt have her eyes glued to the bathroom door the whole time Lissa was gone.

The bathroom was empty when Lissa arrived. All the stalls were vacant and no one was at the washroom. Lissa turned to leave, wondering if spirit was starting to get to her, and ran straight into the girl. Lissa stifled a shriek before saying, “Sorry, I didn’t mean -”

“Lissa,” said the girl.

Lissa took a step back. “Who are you?”

“My name is Sydney Sage,” she said. “I’m here to help. Something’s wrong, and I think you might be the only person who can do something about it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Lissa, taking another step back. “My guardians are just outside. They’ll know if -”

“I’m not with the Strigoi,” said Sydney. “Please, I know this is going to be a lot to believe, but if you’ll just hear me out for five minutes -”

“Hear what out?” said Lissa.

“Adrian’s favourite food is raspberry slushie,” said Sydney. “I know that’s not even a food, but try telling him that. His favourite game is Monopoly, his favourite flower morning glories, his favourite song Shine On Your Crazy Diamond by Pink Floyd.” Lissa stopped. Her thoughts raced ahead of her: She’s making this up – but Adrian was listening to Pink Floyd just the other day – “He’s only broken one bone, when he was six and tripped down a set of stairs chasing a cat to pet,” continued Sydney.

“How do you know all of this?” whispered Lissa. “You’re human.”

Sydney turned her head slightly, and light caught on her cheek. Silver glinted in the shape of a lily. “I’ve had some experience with Moroi.”

Alchemists had gold tattoos, thought Lissa. She didn’t know everything about the Alchemists, though, so instead she said, “But you know about Adrian, not just the Moroi. How do you know so much about my boyfriend?”

Sydney’s face tightened, just a little, almost imperceptibly. “That’s what I need to talk to you about, Lissa – Y – Princess Dragomir.”

“My guardian is going to come in here eventually,” warned Lissa.

“We think that there’s some kind of mass compulsion,” said Sydney. “I was assigned to protect -” she hesitated “ – someone for the Moroi, with the help of a few guardians. One morning, they woke up, and they didn’t know why they were there, they didn’t remember anything that had happened over the past few months, they didn’t know me. I managed to get their memories back, but as far as any of us can tell, it’s affected every Moroi and dhampir out there.”

“I can’t be compelled like that,” said Lissa. “I’m a spirit user. I’m naturally resistant to compulsion.”

“Do you have a tattoo?” asked Sydney. She did. She had a dragon tattooed on to her shoulder, the symbol of her family. Sydney saw the confirmation in her eyes and pushed on. “Does Adrian?”

“Yes,” whispered Lissa.

“Sometimes, a tattoo can be used to reinforce compulsion,” said Sydney. She tapped the silver lily on her cheek and said, “Trust me. I’m very familiar with it.”

“I don’t have any reason to believe this,” said Lissa. “What you’re saying is insane – compulsion over every Moroi and dhampir out there? The amount of power that would take to maintain would drive anyone mad.”

“You’re right,” said Sydney, grimly. “It would drive someone insane. It just won’t always be the spirit user.” She fished a phone out of her pocket. “Look,” she said, switching the screen on and holding it out to Lissa. The phone was already open to a camera roll of photos and Lissa swiped through it. There was Adrian, with his arm wrapped around a young girl Lissa didn’t know, kissing the top of her brown curls. One of Eddie Castile – Lissa hadn’t seen Eddie since she graduated – with Sydney and the girl, laughing.

Lissa stopped on the third photo. It was one of her, dressed as a fairy, arm in arm with another girl that Lissa had never met. The other girl had dark hair and tanned skin, and her face was turned away from the camera because she was saying something to Lissa. Lissa was laughing, her head thrown back. They were in matching costumes, both wearing fairy wings and both with liberal amounts of glitter scattered through their hair and over their skin.

“That was at Halloween last year,” said Sydney. “Rose sent the photo to Dimitri, and he shared it with Eddie, Jill and I.”

“I don’t - ” Lissa broke off. She didn’t understand any of this.

“We can fix this,” said Sydney. “But we need your help.”

Lissa swallowed hard and looked back up at Sydney. “My guardians won’t let me go anywhere.”

“That’s where I come in,” said Sydney. She rummaged through her bag and took out a piece of cloth tied around something that smelled of herbs, hanging from a long black cord. She handed it to Lissa and said, “Wear this around your neck and they won’t see you leave.”

Lissa took it dubiously. “I don’t see how a bunch of herbs is going to make me invisible.”

“You’ve got your tricks, I’ve got mine,” said Sydney. “Trust me. You don’t want to be using anymore spirit.” Lissa slid the black cord over her neck. She couldn’t see any difference, but Sydney nodded in approval.

This is a bad idea, thought Lissa. You’ve never met this person in your life. She’s been stalking you, and now she’s taking you away from the guardians. She could be leading you into a trap.

But Lissa had so many questions, and not a single one of them could be explained by anyone other than Sydney Sage. So when Sydney left the café, Lissa followed.

-

When she was in the car with Sydney, Lissa waited until they had pulled out of the parking lot before she finally asked the obvious question. “How did you do that? Serena and Will didn’t even see me.”

“Magic,” said Sydney. “It’s not common, and it’s not intrinsic to us like it is for Moroi, but some humans can use magic, too. It’s the only reason I was able to get the others’ memories straightened up.”

“Who are the others?” asked Lissa.

“Eddie Castile,” said Sydney. “You know him, right? That didn’t get taken from you?”

“We both went to Saint Vladimir’s, yeah,” said Lissa. “Who else?”

“Jill,” said Sydney, looking at Lissa out of the corner of her eye. “Jill Mastrano. There’s more to it, but that’s definitely been taken from your memories. And Neil Raymond and Angeline Dawes, who are our other two guardians.”

“That’s a lot of guardians,” said Lissa. “You said that you were protecting someone. Who?”

“Jill,” said Sydney. “God, I shouldn’t have to be the one to tell you this. Jill’s an illegitimate child, but one with enough royal blood to be considered part of one of the royal families, and we had to keep her away from the rest of the Moroi population because without her, her family wouldn’t make quorum, and she was being targeted for it.”

There was only one royal family who was struggling to make quorum. “No,” said Lissa. That was too far over the line. That was a lie. “You’re lying to me. Let me out, let me go!” Lissa threw all the compulsion she had into the command, but Sydney didn’t even blink.

“Sorry,” said Sydney. “I can’t be compelled anymore. You’ll still want to see this, Your Highness.”

“My father would never have cheated on my mother,” seethed Lissa. “I don’t know what the fuck you’re trying to do – you’re not even a real Alchemist, are you? Alchemist lilies are gold!”

Sydney smiled, very faintly. “You’re right. I’m not a real Alchemist. I haven’t been one for a while. But I’m not a real Alchemist anymore because I love your sister like she’s my own, and I would do anything to keep her safe.” Sydney took a left turn into a suburban neighbourhood. The houses were run-down and the yards weren’t well-maintained. Lissa stared out the window, watching the beat-up cars pass them. “We can’t all afford luxury on the run, Your Highness,” said Sydney.

Sydney pulled into a small house on the end of the street. The front door opened and Eddie Castile appeared. Lissa unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car. She couldn’t believe Eddie was in on this, whatever this was. He had always been a good guy at school, kind and funny and clever. She never would have believed Eddie would do anything to hurt her.

“Eddie?” she said, tentatively.

He smiled. “Hey, Liss.”

“She doesn’t believe me,” said Sydney, getting out of the car herself. “She’s in denial over Jill.”

Eddie’s smile dropped. “What happened to Mason Ashford?” he asked.

“What? Eddie, didn’t he die in the attack?” said Lissa.

“He died in Spokane,” said Eddie. “What about sophomore and junior years? Where were you?”

“At school,” said Lissa, even as she tried to remember her sophomore year. The details seemed fuzzy – she had been repeating Elemental Basics, right? And she’d been dating Aaron – but hadn’t she broken up with Aaron by then?

“Were you?” said Eddie.

“Where else would I have been?” whispered Lissa.

Another face appeared at the door, a dhampir girl a few years younger than Lissa, with strawberry blonde hair and a serious expression. “Eddie, Jill needs you.”

Eddie didn’t pause to explain, and neither did Sydney. Eddie turned on his heel and half-jogged back into the house, while Sydney ushered Lissa inside. “It might be daylight, but that doesn’t mean it’s safe,” said Sydney. “Seriously, we’re not going to hurt you.”

Lissa followed Eddie down the short hallway into a bedroom. Eddie was crouching by a girl in the corner, her brown curls wild and askew. She was wrapped in his arms, and he pressed his lips to the top of her head, murmuring comforting nonsense. The girl startled as Lissa entered, trying to back up further into the corner, but there was nowhere to go.

“Jill,” said Sydney, softly. “We’ve got Lissa. We can fix this.” This was her supposed sister? Lissa wondered, staring in amazement.

Jill shook her head, her movements jerky and sudden. “There’s no fixing this,” said Jill. “It’s over, it’s over, he’s won.”

“This isn’t you, Jill,” said Eddie. “Remember? It’s not you.” He looked back up at Sydney and asked, “Have you found anything yet?”

Sydney shook her head. “Bonds and spirit use aren’t understood by Moroi, let alone witches.” Eddie swore under his breath and kissed Jill’s forehead again.

Lissa knelt beside Jill, reaching out to touch the girl’s arm gently. She knew better than anyone that spirit didn’t cure mental illness, but she wanted to, she wanted to help the helpless, desperate girl and give her some hope. Lissa’s magic shimmered, going from her hand to Jill, and Jill went still.

“Jill?” said Eddie, cautiously.

Jill looked up, her face still wet with tears. “Lissa?” she whispered.

“Hi,” said Lissa.

“What just happened?” asked Sydney.

“I think – I think I just healed her,” said Lissa, studying Jill’s face. Eddie’s arms tightened around Jill, and Jill reached up to wrap her hand around Eddie’s, smiling.

“The darkness is gone,” said Jill. “I can still feel him, but the darkness is gone.”

“Holy shit,” said Angeline, from the doorway.

“Language,” chastised Sydney without so much as looking over her shoulder. “Are you sure, Jill?”

“Yeah,” said Jill. Her face was regaining some colour. Without the tears and the fear, Lissa could see she was even very lightly tanned – she couldn’t remember the last time she had seen a Moroi who spent enough time in the sun to tan. Jill got to her feet, pulling Eddie with her, and kissed him soundly.

“Oi, lovebirds!” said Angeline. “Haven’t we got something more important to be doing?”

“Angeline,” chastised Sydney again, though there amusement in her voice.

Jill pulled away, looking very pleased with herself. “Nothing’s more important than kissing Eddie, but I guess we can work on other things, too.”

“Their first kiss was after staking a Strigoi,” said Angeline, to Lissa. “Nothing makes them more annoying than mortal danger.”

“Sydney claimed that you were my sister,” said Lissa.

Jill sighed. “I never thought I’d have to do this again – but, yes. My name is Jill Mastrano Dragomir, and I’m your sister.” Lissa stepped forward, inspecting Jill. Their hair was nothing alike, Jill’s brown and curly to Lissa’s blonde and straight, and the shape of their faces were different – but Jill’s eyes were Dragomir green, a pale green that Lissa had seen in her mirror a million times before.

“I need to hear everything,” decided Lissa. “Your whole story. Then I can decide whether I trust you.”

“Fair enough,” said Sydney. “I wouldn’t believe this without proof, either.”

They went to the kitchen, because Jill’s messy bedroom was no place to have a serious discussion. Angeline got herself a bag of chips from the cupboard and sat on the counter, while Sydney and Lissa sat at the table. Jill and Eddie hadn’t let go of each other and sat next to each other, their chairs dragged close together so that their shoulders brushed.

“Start from the beginning,” said Lissa.

Jill snorted and muttered, “Easier said than done.”

Sydney quelled Jill with a look and said, “It was a month ago now. Jill and the rest of us were all at Amberwood Preparatory School in Palm Springs – that’s where she’s been hidden.”

“Smart,” murmured Lissa. She couldn’t think of a place less welcoming for vampires, Moroi or Strigoi – except for maybe the Sahara Desert. It certainly explained Jill’s tan.

“We weren’t the only ones there,” said Sydney. “Adrian was also sent to Palm Springs, because he and Jill are bonded.”

Lissa stared at Jill. “Like – like Vladimir and Anna?”

“At least you remember that much,” muttered Eddie.

Sydney nodded. “Adrian was summoned back to Court. There was a Strigoi restored nearby, and they wanted all spirit users at Court to investigate.” Olive Sinclair, remembered Lissa. The first Strigoi to ever be restored. It had been a miracle, one made by Robert Doru. “Back in Palm Springs, Eddie, Angeline and Neil all woke up with no memory of why they were in Palm Springs. None of them even knew each other, or that Jill was a princess. If I hadn’t been able to get hold of a memory charm, they would have stayed that way.”

“Even when Sydney was able to give our memories back, I could still tell what we were supposed to be ‘remembering’,” said Jill. “I could see it through the bond with Adrian. He thought that you were just about to get your place on the Council, and that you and he were dating.” Jill’s face scrunched up in disgust.

“Why is that such a problem?” demanded Lissa hotly.

“Because you were seeing someone else,” said Eddie. “So was Adrian. You were friends before, nothing more.”

“You’re saying that my entire relationship was manufactured,” said Lissa, flatly. “That it’s just compulsion binding me to my boyfriend.” All four exchanged uncomfortable glances. It was clear that that was exactly what they thought. Lissa pursed her lips and said, “Finish your story.”

“We got attacked by guardians the next day,” said Eddie. “We barely got away. They were coming for Jill. We thought at the time that they were rebels, but we’re not so sure now.”

“You have a bondmate,” explained Sydney. “Her name is Rose Hathaway. She was your best friend and guardian, and as far as we can tell, no one has seen her since the change.”

“What are you saying?” asked Lissa, slowly.

“We think that the spell was cast so that you and Adrian -” Sydney paused then said, “Do you know mobile phone towers? They spread reception for mobile phones in the area, allowing you to get reception. We think that – well, we think you’re the phone towers, and they’ve harnessed your spirit abilities to transmit the new memories.”

“What has this got to do with Jill and – and Rose?” asked Lissa.

“Have you been having any side effects from spirit use lately?” asked Sydney. “Has Adrian?”

Lissa thought back. She hadn’t felt any darkness, but she hadn’t been using enough spirit lately to feel it – had she? She had made some plants sprout flowers the other day, and when Adrian had gotten a paper cut she had healed him, and she had been practicing dream walking…

Okay, maybe she had used spirit a little too much to be feeling so few effects.

“It’s because the darkness has been pushed out of you on to your bondmates,” said Sydney, gently. “From Adrian to Jill and from you to Rose. We think that’s why they wanted Jill, and why they’ve taken Rose – to keep them under observation.”

“What do these people want?” asked Lissa. “You keep saying that they’ve changed our memories, but from what?”

Again, there was a round of uncomfortable looks. It was Eddie who eventually responded. “It was Victor Dashkov and his half-brother,” he said eventually. “He used it to make himself king.”

“What?” said Lissa. “Why wouldn’t he have been king? He’s the most obvious choice after Tatiana died, unless you’re saying he actually murdered and then changed our memories.”

“No,” said Eddie. “Tatiana really did die last year. She really was assassinated by Tasha Ozera. But Dashkov was never an option in the elections, because he was never in the running.”

“If he wanted to be king so badly, then why didn’t he just run in the elections, fair and square?” asked Lissa.

“Because he couldn’t,” said Eddie. His voice was so gentle that it made Lissa’s hackles rise, knowing that there was bad news coming. “He was stripped of his titles and royal status for kidnapping and torturing you into healing him.”

Lissa froze. “My uncle would never do that to me.”

“Lissa, I’m sorry, but -”

“No,” interrupted Lissa, cutting Eddie off. “You’re lying. My uncle would never do that. He wouldn’t even have to! I’d heal him, no questions asked. What you’re saying makes no sense. You’re lying.” She stared around at the others. “You’re all lying.”

Angeline rolled her eyes. “Oh, for fuck’s sake -”

“Lissa, please -” started Sydney.

It was Jill, though, that got Lissa’s attention. “Look at my aura.” Lissa looked, letting her aura vision flare into life. Jill’s aura was a warm blue, mixed in with greens and purples, with a shadow outlining it. “You can see that my aura is connected to something, right? Follow that link.”

Lissa followed it. She grasped the link and pulled at it, looking for the other end. A second aura flared, gold and purple and pieces of black scattered through it. Lissa knew that aura. She was seeing a shadow of Adrian Ivashkov in Jill’s aura. Lissa gasped, and dropped the link.

“I’m Adrian’s bondmate,” said Jill. “I’m your sister. I’m not lying about those things, and you can tell that. We’re not lying about anything else, either.”

Lissa didn’t know what to think. Jill’s paternity and bond were undeniable – but everything else was so far out of the realm of possibility that they couldn’t possibly be true. Her uncle would never hurt her. She had never met anyone named Rose. And she knew her own feelings.

“Take me back,” said Lissa.

Sydney hesitated, and Angeline opened her mouth to protest, but Eddie said, “I should be the one to take you back. It’ll be dark by the time you get to campus.” He glanced at Sydney and said, “Neil should be back any minute. You and Angeline can handle things till then, right?”

“I’m right here,” muttered Jill, as Sydney nodded.

Eddie stood up, catching the keys when Sydney tossed them to him. “Come on, Lissa.”

The drive back to Leigh was quiet. When they pulled into the slip lane that led on to campus, Eddie said, “I know everything sounds insane. Seriously, I do. I’ve been there, remember? I had Jill and Sydney telling me all these things that morning that I had no memory of. But I swear, Lissa, it’s all true.”

Lissa blinked back tears stinging at her eyes. “I don’t believe you.”

“Please, just -” Eddie sighed. “Look into Rose. She was at Spokane, too, when Mason died, and I always said I’d take care of her, you know? And now she’s missing, and there’s not a goddamn thing I can do about it.”

There was a surprising amount of self-loathing in his voice. Lissa couldn’t do anything but nod.

Eddie watched from a distance as Lissa made her way back to the café. Serena was still there, but Will had gone – was looking for her, presumably. Serena was pacing furiously, but the moment she saw Lissa, she ran to Lissa’s side, checking her over carefully.

“Where were you?” demanded Serena.

“I… just needed some time to myself,” said Lissa. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

When Lissa turned to look, Eddie and the car were gone.

-

She didn’t say anything to anyone.

I should tell someone, she thought, over and over again. There was a witch that could just waltz in under the guardians’ noses, and God only knew what she wanted. It was a security risk, one that they couldn’t risk.

“You’re acting strange,” said Christian, one afternoon. He propped himself on his arm, staring at her accusingly. They were back under the willow, their shared place of quiet, with Lissa nestled in its roots and Christian lazing on the grass beside her.

“No, I’m not,” said Lissa, automatically.

“Yes, you are,” said Christian. “You’re thinking too much. Even I can tell it’s a bad sign.”

Lissa narrowed her eyes at him. “Are you saying that I’m empty-headed most of the time?”

“That’s not what I’m saying and you damn well know it,” said Christian. “Spill it, Dragomir.”

Lissa hesitated, then without even deciding to, the whole story came pouring out. “I met these people at Leigh the other day…”

Christian listened from beginning to end. He didn’t interrupt to ask questions, like Adrian might have, just let her clarify herself as the story went on. When she finished, he blew out a long stream of air and said, “That is definitely not why I thought you went missing.”

“Why did you think I went missing?” asked Lissa. He made it sound like there was some kind of conspiracy going on.

Christian shrugged. “Don’t know. Just knew that you weren’t being honest about the whole ‘needing space’ thing.” He thought for a moment then said, “So Adrian doesn’t know anything, huh?”

“I haven’t told him everything, but I’ve asked about Palm Springs and he said he’d never been, and I’ve mentioned the name Jill Mastrano to him and he doesn’t even blink,” said Lissa. “Trust me, he isn’t that good a liar. He doesn’t know anything.”

“But you know they’re bonded because you followed the bond in their auras,” mused Christian. “Have you tried doing that yourself?”

Lissa blinked. “What?”

“Well, they said you’re bonded with someone, right?” said Christian. “If you can follow a bond between two other people’s auras, why not your own?”

Lissa nodded slowly. “It… might work.” She held her arm up and summoned her aura, the shimmering gold surrounding her arm. She could see the link, and she closed her eyes as she tried to follow it back to its source. All she could feel was darkness. What if there was nothing at the other end? What if there was, and she couldn’t make contact? She still hadn’t managed dream-walking. No, she thought, pushing the doubts away. I’m doing this. She pressed further, focusing on the image of the dark-haired fairy making Lissa laugh.

Lissa?

Lissa jumped. Christian said something, but she wasn’t listening. Rose? Is that you?

Holy shit, Lissa! Are you okay? How are you doing this?

I’m… okay, thought Lissa. I followed the link between our auras to you. Are you okay?

I’ve been better, said Rose. There was a pause, then, You still don’t remember me, do you?

You know about that?

Are you kidding? Your head is a far more pleasant place to be than my own recently. I’ve been watching. I know your memories have been fucked with. Like everyone’s. There was a clear note of misery in her voice, impotent fury mixed with hopelessness.

I’m sorry.

It’s not your fault.

Who’s is it? asked Lissa, half-dreading the answer.

Hang on, let me try something, thought Rose. Before Lissa could ask what, she was assaulted with a series of images and memories: a pressure bearing down on Lissa’s skull as Victor watched on impassively; Natalie – poor Natalie, who’d been killed by a Strigoi in their senior year – as a Strigoi herself with blood drying on her lips; Christian being thrown against the wall, the fire in his hands winking out, as Victor Dashkov swept into the throne room with Robert Doru on his heels.

Lissa gasped, her hands flying to her head. She clutched at her temples, doubling over. At once, Christian was at her side, his hands gentle on her shoulders. “Are you okay? Lissa, can you hear me?”

Sorry, said Rose. Is that Christian? Figures you’d find him again, in your own little quiet place.

You know him?

Yeah, said Rose. I know that was a lot to take in, Liss. I didn’t realise it’d hurt.

It’s okay, said Lissa. If you hadn’t shown me, I don’t think I would have…

Her own uncle. The man who had taken her in after her family’s death. The man who had fought to give her back her rightful place on the Council – or had he even done that? Was that a lie, too? She already had quorum through Jill, back before the memory change, if Jill and the others were telling the truth.

Her uncle.

Yeah, thought Rose, heavy with sympathy. I know.

Do you think I’ll ever get my memories back? asked Lissa. Do you think any of us will?

I don’t know, said Rose. I hope so.

Rose?

Yeah?

I’m going to find you.

[ciceroisthefamilycat]

My post on the first two BL books (here’s the one from Spirit Bound and Last Sacrifice)

Quick thing: I said they should rename the VA series Guardian Rose for the show- I would still be ok with that, but I put forth: Blood Rose (with Golden Lily for if Bloodlines gets a spinoff show).

Ok, so... ugh.. my love for Sydney and more focus on her, versus how quickly I get tired of some of the contrivances in BL.

Bloodlines:

I was reading along and I was like “huh, I really like Lee... what happened to him? was he caught up in the tattoo ring, I thought that was Keith?” so I was impatient and looked it up like a jerk... but yeah that is a captivating, horrible character; the part near the end where Syd notices the “chilling indifference” where this seemingly sweet guy doesn’t give a shit about his soul, or more importantly killing others relentlessly... that is some of the strongest writing in either of the two series. But it is frustrating because we’re left with so many questions with Lee- who turned him? I don’t think we got that answer ever, but was it Robert? No, right, since he only mentioned having turned one woman before? Why did someone restore Lee and then leave him, and is Lee so fucked up when he’s restored because he didn’t get the coddling after “rebirth” that Dimitri got from Lissa and Sonya got from Dimitri, or is it the (perhaps stronger message) that some people just enjoy power and cruelty? Also, Lee lost his Moroi magic whereas Sonya kept hers (that’s more a suspicion on Sydney’s part but I do think it’s right)- it could be a spirit thing that allowed Sonya hers back, but I wonder if it wasn’t because he killed multiple women to try to become Strigoi again (like maybe he did get his magic back, but then he killed Tamara). Also... he decided to try Alchemist blood in his desperation, but didn’t even try spirit user blood from Adrian? My dude, that’s either misogyny, or lack of imagination, or contrivances on Richelle’s part to keep Adrian safe.

Also... ew at Lee going out with Jill, but that should be a given. Someone protect that girl. Like actually. I do think it’s such a great contrast that Syd is like “I’m taking this job to protect my little sister Zoe, who Jill reminds me of, from known predator Keith, who tries to come off as charming and nonthreatening” (and Syd is so disgusted that Julia and Kristin think Keith’s hot) meanwhile Sydney is... aggressively pushing Jill toward Lee. It’s some fantastic (upsetting) irony.

I love the Amberwood supporting cast of teens. Micah is great (and better than Mason imo- sorry). Julia and Kristin are great. Trey is fantastic. I do hate how flat Slade and Laurel are though (typing out those names in a non-Arrow context is weird). I was surprised on rereading how little Ms. Terwillinger is in the first book- I thought she and magic played a much larger role. Also, while I love Syd getting to be a witch and all the characterization (including her discomfort with magic) that entails, I do wish she’d just gotten to enjoy studying Ancient Greek architecture like she wanted during her independent study. Let my little nerd flourish (while also being a volleyball badass).

I disliked Adrian more than I remembered in this book. Like boy, you have a 14/15 y.o. in your head. Stop with the alcohol and stop with the threesomes (did that happen? Sydney goes back and forth and seems undetermined based on the state of dress of his companions) where the minor is going to be stuck with those consequences. And stop pouting about being in the house with Clarence. Like, yes, he’s a kooky old man, but he’s also sweet. And the purposeful sabotage of his job interviews after taking Syd’s time for it... ugh. And the bitterness yet lingering obsession at Rose... I do love his art classes, and I appreciate at the golf course when he’s the only one to see how disturbed Sydney is by magic. I also have to admit to enjoying his decision to paint the apartment “goldenrod”- that ending scene with just the two of them is very sweet.

Eddie still never gets enough to do. I really do wonder what might have come for him if Mead had followed her original plan to do all 4 (Syd, Adr, Jill, and Ed) perspectives. But his takedown of the Strigoi at the end (with the assist from Jill and Sydney) is fantastic. Now if only we didn’t have the unnecessary Eddie/Jill crush drama.

On the Keith front... the eye for an eye is one of the most dramatic things. And I really think it’s interesting how much of these series comes back to sexualized violence against women (starting with Lissa raging on the jerk who assaulted a Feeder in VA flashbacks). Sydney lost her faith in the Alchemists for the first time when one of their own assaulted her big sister, and getting justice for that is what drives her more and more toward the Moroi and “outside corrupting influences.” Which... Abe is a villain in this one. I know fandom loves him, and I do enjoy him, but the man is revealed to be a drug supplier/trafficker... it was one thing when I thought he was involved in finding Feeders and the like, but we see just how much havoc the tattoos wreak at Amberwood, and knowing he’s doing stuff like it elsewhere is terrible.

on to Golden Lily:

chapter 5, pg 83: “But then, [Brayden] opened the door and I realized he was waiting for me to get in. I did, trying to remember the last time a guy had opened a car door for me. My conclusion: never.” I really thought I was about to make a point about Dimitri opening a car door for Sydney at the start of Chapter 2- apparently not and he only got her suitcase, my bad.

Ugh this one... I might have to give up this reread because it’s not even the most Sydrian-centric things get and I’m already exhausted. Look, Adrian is the (21 y.o.) guy who was essentially stalking high-schooler Rose in her dreams- she was surprised to see in Lissa’s mind that when she asked him not to smoke near her he apparently didn’t. Meanwhile, Adrian is ready to throwdown with Sonya, and especially Dimitri, when they request blood from Sydney and won’t take the graceful “no’s” she tries to give them. And I can appreciate growth, and the part where he’s protecting Sydney. But... given his other actions I’m not sure it does come across as growth so much as Adrian picks and chooses when to respect other people’s boundaries, and especially enjoys picking a fight with Dimitri (and then there are the elements where Rose was a biracial Turkish and dhamphir girl who people sexualized over and over, whereas Sydney is the white Alchemist who had never even been kissed before this book). When he gets drunk and interrupts Sydney’s Halloween Dance with Brayden, or purposefully delays her make-up date with Brayden, and messes up Brayden’s name constantly, and pretends not to know how to drive stick-shift, it’s inappropriate. That doesn’t change that he stands up for her with his dad (though he also leaves her alone at the table with him), or that he remembers what she says about hetaerae, or avoids touching her since it means something different to him than her, or that he tries to tell her about the tracker and then follows the Guardians and helps get her out. But like, ffs, could he not have just offered that she could drive the car whenever she wanted as long as he could supervise- it’s still manipulative, but at least it’s not lying and wasting her time?

Meanwhile, Mead writes Sydney as getting annoyed with Brayden for lesser nuisances, and “can’t he be more understand about my ‘family emergencies’” and Sydney just barely starts to call out Adrian interrupting a date yet again... then lampshades it with “oh, it’s an actual emergency for Sonya at least.” Like, in LS Rose had a very heavy-handed realization that Adrian was using her for strength rather than being stronger because he was with her, and Mead manages to be more heavy-handed, just in Adrian’s favor, in this book (series). Also, I swear to fuck, I hate how caricaturized Sydney and Brayden’s nerdiness becomes in this book. Setting aside that I never knew any 18 y.o. this nerdy and I was head nerd at my school, if these two dumbasses want to go to a textile museum or windfarm stop judging them and the fact that you wrote Sydney as liking these things. Also, Sydney really does not give a fuck about her job apparently. Like, I get it, but at the same time, it’s annoying how at first she cared about Jill genuinely as this younger girl she would look out for, and as part of her job, and yet it gets to a point where she’s like “oh no, something seems wrong with Jill- does that mean something’s wrong with ADRIAN?!”... like, babe, you’re compromised. How do you not see that? I don’t need her to be like Rose with Lissa (that was unhealthy for both of them and led to resentment, and Jill and Sydney don’t have that same base to start from regardless), but it is frustrating that it seems like Sydney starts to care less about everyone else than Adrian.

I will say the scenes with Sydney in her red Hetaera costume would be visually stunning, and the actual substance once she and Adrian get to his apartment is pretty fantastic. Heck, even Adrian’s “are you saying my sister looks like a prostitute?” is one of the funniest scenes in either series. But I hate that they’re all pretending to be siblings (or third cousins in Angeline’s case) and meanwhile all crushing on each other, and apparently Sydney and Eddie lose all good sense and forget that’s taboo? Um, WTF? Say what you will about VA, it always kept in mind that Romitri’s age gap was a taboo. Speaking of, I do not forgive Richelle for putting this in print: “Sonya gave [Dimitri] a sly smile. ‘And here I thought you had a soft spot for reckless young girls.’ ” EWW. Sonya was a teacher (even if we fuzz around on whether Dimitri was one). This isn’t funny. I will make an exception for the ship I love because sometimes I am a hypocrite, but don’t ask me to laugh about the idea of a 25 y.o. having a “soft spot for reckless young girls.”

Angeline honestly gets so mistreated in this one. Like to be clear, Eddie or Sydney should have felt free to say something sooner about how she was making him uncomfortable with her advances. But there’s a 15 y.o. who’s out in the world for the first time “there were more people at the school than had been in her mountain community” and Sydney acknowledges this and why she would be overwhelmed, then lays into her with more vehemence than she ever displays at Adrian, a 21 y.o., acting up, because the 15 y.o. was actually overwhelmed when a dumbass performance troupe invaded her space. Also, she and Dimitri are all “she’s here on a mission”... the Keepers don’t keep with your Moroi royalty or rigid Alchemist structure. You grabbed a second 15 y.o. to protect another from political terrorists because you couldn’t trust others from either of your societies to do that job. Heaven Forbid that a girl from the Keepers didn’t immediately adjust to the indoctrination that most Dhamphir girls her age have gone through.

Btw, if Richelle weren’t so focused from the outset on Sydrian, Trey/Sydney have so much potential given the way they’re foils of each other. I love Trey, even granted that he made mistakes. Also the Warriors of Light as the Alchemists’ brutish, less erudite cousins is annoying. Like, from a thematic place it makes sense and does help build toward Sydney’s defection from the Alchemists that she sees other humans are not always the good guys and her own organization has hidden secrets, but given how much VA was like “ew those classist royal Moroi” the absolute disdain Sydney has for the Keepers and Warriors for having older clothing or lesser means reads in this book as very classist. It doesn’t help that she’s simping over Adrian and Brayden’s expensive cars every chance.

On the Warriors Front, I have a major issue with how Sydney’s dynamic (and Jill’s) with Sonya are written in this book. Sonya is Jill’s mother’s cousin, who was one of the only ones to know Jill’s true paternity. Sonya admittedly went Strigoi for ~three years, but I don’t buy that Sonya wasn’t a constant for Jill at St. Vladimir’s during her elementary school years. And then Sonya was there for Jill after Romitri took care of the Dashkov/Doru brothers. Yet, Sonya and Jill never exchange any interactions on screen, and Jill doesn’t even get to be especially alarmed over her relative being abducted by the Warriors. Meanwhile, Sydney who saw Sonya’s restoration and literally described it as a miracle to Rose at the time, whose religiosity is a huge part of her character, and of her order, doesn’t mention it while trying to persuade the Warriors? Like, her dynamic with that type of magic could be fascinating, yet it’s totally glossed over rather than playing a part of Sydney’s increasing questioning around magic. Sydney knows with more certainty than anyone (save maybe Dimitri) that Sonya isn’t putting on an act- she saw Sonya go from feral Strigoi to repentant Moroi in front of her eyes. Her calling it a miracle would have even given the Warriors a better reason to try and discount her as magicked, so I don’t get why it wasn’t brought up. Setting aside that, two more minor grievances: 1) why did Sonya go over to Adrian’s (and no one made sure she got home safe) after the Warriors of Light made it clear they were watching his residence? 2) Sydney mentions 4 recorded restorations- that’s Dimitri, Sonya, Lee, and I guess the unnamed woman that Robert Doru first restored, but why are they including her when they actually know next to nothing about that one. ETA July 1: I had forgotten that it was Sonya who said the “in a fight they’re lethal” quote about Romitri- so that was a fun realization at least

Stray thoughts on the book: the Micah/Jill break-up was stupid and sad and pointless (and I like Angeline/Eddie better than Jeddie, though I’m not sure that was the case the first time I read the series). Shame on Lia DeStefano for manipulating Jill into the print ad. I really thought this book was going to end with Zoe showing up- I guess I forgot a full book of events. I know Keith’s dad is probably not a great guy given his son and exactly what Tom’s primary concerns were when we saw him on page, but I do tentatively like him? Everyone’s kind of an asshole to Clarence, especially given how they’re using his house and his presence for their convenience. I do like that Sydney has a rough time with the location spell and it takes hours of just sitting waiting before she can get it to work. I ended up hating Sydney’s storyline about weight my first time reading through Indigo Spell- it felt like Richelle threw it in and it didn’t actually seem any healthier to me, I think, that Adrian and Sydney were like... tit for tat pushing each other to stop their vices; that being said, I was surprised how much I kind of liked Adrian calling out Sydney’s obsession with weight at the end of GL. Like, I still don’t love a guy talking down to a woman about her weight (especially the phrasing of telling her to gain weight to be more beautiful) but the actual content was enough to overcome that while reading that scene, so I’m wondering if maybe my opinion on the plotline in IS will have changed.

The adaptation front:

so, like with VA and FB, I would combine the first two books into one season

I fancast a Latino guy as Eddie (with a book-typical blonde for Sydney), and a black biracial actress as Adrian... so um, as I mentioned, I really dislike how they try to “familiarize” Sydney, Eddie, Jill, Angeline, Adrian, and Keith... I’m not sure how to overcome those plot difficulties but anyway yeah

on the genderbent Adrian: so Adrian as a girl presents far fewer issues to adaptation than it did with the VA books; it maybe helps with the protectiveness from Clarence (he saw Tamara in Jill and Sydney, surely he would with Adrian too); since I mentioned how I don’t get why Lee never considered drinking from Adrian the spirit user, I do think that would be much more likely in a show with Adrian as a woman... so imagine Lee planned on draining Adrian that weekend in LA, but they lost track of each other, and after that he liked Adrian too much and cared about Jill, so it was a last resort like with Sydney vs. Keith; I realize this also means in Malachi Wolfe’s self-defense class, there are no guy students, but it could be the mom with three kids including a newborn is a dad instead, or other new various characters

lesbian Sydney: look, Frostbite was plenty evidence that sometimes even when you like someone there just isn’t heat to a relationship (Rose/Mason), and that was the point in Sydney/Brayden, but imagine Sydney going through the motions throughout GL and she’s really trying to date this cute guy, but she has no heat to it, and then Adrian (a fellow lady) kisses her and it’s a revelation... and she could simply be like, oh, so boys were the problem, and try to move on with a girl in IS (because even though she never considered it before, at least the Alchemists aren’t strictly speaking homophobic) but then realize... “yeah I had a crush on Rose too, and I’m into girls, but it’s specifically Adrian that I’m feeling this heat of real affection with”

like, this is something that majorly pissed me off while reading BL series the first time: you’ve got Jill girlcrushing on Sydney as a gag because of the psychic-link to Adrian, you’ve got Adrian having a threesome with two random Moroi girls, you have Adrian’s token lesbian art-class friend, and then Sydney gets caught in a relationship with Adrian and sent to conversion therapy (literally)... just give me lesbian Sydney otherwise fuck that noise

I mentioned the Hetaera costume already... I don’t care... I am ready for that visual, and her in the parking lot in it right before a storm... also Jill’s fashion runway and fairy dresses should be fun too

so if they get this far, would BL be it’s own series while VA is actually still running? I wonder how they would handle the time Sonya and Dimitri would be in Palm Springs? Could we get a fun crossover event with Mikhail coming to town with a quickness when Sonya gets abducted? He found out she was missing at 12 hrs. before the rescue mission- I don’t buy that he didn’t come to town to join them...

[ciceroisthefamilycat]

I reread Shadow Kissed and Blood Promise as part of my reread (the last post on Frostbite is here)...

VA and FB are great, but SK and BP are the highlights of the series for me (not looking so much forward to SP and LS).

Before I get into that... I did reconsider something on Frostbite: I really rather hope that they have Rose manage to convey some information on their location to Adrian when he visits her dream (or even she has a second dream). And, I would like for she or Mason to suggest to Christian and Mia that they drink from their human captors- I can see Christian being totally reluctant, and them reassuring like “we won’t let you kill them and turn, but you need to be able to move”- even if Christian still refuses, I would like for Mia to at least consider it. These are things that are maybe a bit controversial (taking blood from the unwilling is not a Moroi trait), but I feel like the escape could have used just a bit more dark pragmatism. Eddie’s out of it on endorphins and blood loss, meanwhile Mia and Christian have to basically carry him despite being really feeble themselves (especially Christian after his magic use) while Rose and Mason are trying to clear everyone out. They’ve just realized after like four days, hey wow, we should have used magic sooner, I would think they would question some of their other ingrained lessons.

OK, now Shadow Kiss.

I said before a combined season for VA and Frostbite, and I still actually stand by that. But for SK (and BP) I want a full season (honestly 13 would be preferred to 10 but I’ll take what I can get).

I think one realization I had this time that maybe I hadn’t had before was that in chapter 8, when Rose and Christian go to the Feeders, it’s busier than usual- including Brandon Lazar (a member of the Mana)- I remembered well enough that Mason always showed up after a Mana “initiation” but I don’t recall putting together that  it was why Brandon, and Jesse and Ralf, were all there at the time. I also realized: the rumors that everyone was hearing about Rose and Adrian? I don’t think those arose naturally- I feel certain Jesse and Ralf (as participants in Mia’s VA campaign) were compelling people to believe Rose/Adrian were a thing, and Ralf may have passed that tidbit on to Priscilla Voda. Jesse was the first to bring up Rodrian in Christian’s culinary class, Mason (who threatened them into coming clean about the earlier rumors) has just died... it seems to me like a petty vengeance thing. And if I’m right, that’s the type of plotline that they should make more apparent in an adaptation. 

Adrian... is more pushy and discomforting than I remembered. Like, rich, white guy trying to pull this shit will rightly get criticized by show fans if they keep him as written. I’m not saying rush all of his character growth, and I have to admit I love the “Rose is in red but never in blue” scene but they’re going to have to do better with him. One solution is to focus on his and Lissa’s relationship as much as they can, because I honestly really like that friendship/fraternal relationship too and it brings out the more justified reasons for Adrian being there. Also, I’m just going to reiterate (here and elsewhere in the post) genderbend Adrian please... but if not, at least make him less “creepy young adult lurks on campus of school he didn’t even go to to hit on Rose.” Genderbending would create issues for “Tatiana wants to engage Adrian to Lissa,” unless they instead frame something like “Tatiana wants Adrian to be Lissa’s new best friend, replacing Rose and maybe helping Adrian clean up his act”, and I do buy that it could work- it doesn’t work quite as neatly at making Christian irrationally jealous when Ralf informs him of Tatiana’s wedding scheming (and the subsequent Adrian & Christian fight during the Mana initiation) but... idk, get Aaron back or something, since he comes back in BP anyway (and maybe Jesse compelled them to fight each other when he was breaking the rumors to Christian).

Moving on, I’ve always had a soft spot for the Bromance, of sorts, between Rose and Christian. This is the best of the books for that and I love it so much. Whoever plays Christian would get so much more mileage out of these scenes. The same goes for Eddie, who probably gets to shine more in SK than in any other VA book (and even in Bloodlines, where the focus on Sydrian deprives him of the page-time he deserves). Those guys are going to have some great stuff to work with, including the little bit of hurt Christian feels at Rose’s reluctance to have him as her probationary protectee. I hope she apologizes to him for that one, honestly, while I also hope she gets to throw in a one-liner about how he and Lissa aren’t allowed to ever have a nooner again (because that was a part in why she was so upset that morning and honestly... she deserved to be pissed).

Let’s see... I’m curious how they’ll portray Rose “absorbing” Lissa’s spirit darkness. Like, I wonder if they might start showing us scenes of Lissa practicing auras and then we do get Lissa healing Rose from Adrian’s perspective as he’s studying the healing. The ghosts are also going to be... intense- especially the scene on the plane. And then when Lissa breaks from the torture, Rose calms her and absorbs it, and then she goes crazy. The actresses are going to have some real challenges that I’m excited for. Including later when Rose is grieving. This book honestly has the biggest action pieces and I’m excited for it all: the visit to Court (Ambrose and Rhonda! Mia! the trial!), the Guardians’ practice attacks, the “initiaton” (uggh) and Jesse’s compulsion and then the Cabin, the Invasion (ooof- they’re going to have to trigger warning for that one), and then finally the Cave. I think the Initiation Night, The Invasion, and The Cave will each have to have their own episodes, and I think I would end the Invasion episode right before they go into the Caves honestly (though I would advise releasing those episodes together even if they do a weekly release schedule).

So my pet projects, as pertains to this one:

alive Andre? ok, I’ve given up on this one Scratch that, though I really was ready to; have him at Court (maybe Tatiana’s plotting on marrying him off to Adrian) and build up what that might mean for Lissa’s future... also if he overhears Rose mentioning this “water user from the lower school named Jill Mastrano” let us get our hints about her paternity

I really need full focus on Rose’s mental state in this and how much “they come first” is destroying her at this point; especially in contrast to that brief Mia appearance (which does have to happen) where Rose observes that the best in Mia has come out; also how special that manicure is to Rose

the aging up: I realize it makes Lissa and Lehigh work less well and it also means that instead of Rose leaving on her 18th birthday, her departure date would seem more arbitrary (even if it’s her 21st), but it’s still feasible and still what’s best from a responsible storytelling aspect

ah... this is dark... but a potential departure from the books: Rose decides to visit Jesse before she leaves (yes I realize she wasn’t even going to say good-bye to Lissa but) and makes sure she lets him know that the wards failing were his fault... that he and Ralf looked down on Christian for being the son of two Strigoi, but that when Christian had been deprived for a week of blood he still never considered betraying the dhamphir with him in Spokane. Jesse was so willing to try to compel others to lay their lives down for him... he’s a monster, not Christian. And now the man she loved, a better man than him, and about 20 people overall, are dead because of him and his actions. And she’s going to hunt monsters- he better never cross her again, or she will stake him like any other monster. But... she doesn’t realize: she accidentally killed Jesse during the Initiation rage, and Lisa (not even realizing it) resurrected him... he is now also shadow-kissed... he steps out of the gate at some point to sob, and while the wards are down... he sees spirits of those whose lives he cost

And now Blood Promise

um, I am hornier than Rose for Strigoi Dimitri and I realize this is wrong of me, I just feel the need to put that out there before I continue; also note that Dhamphir Dimitri is not at all responsible for the Strigoi’s actions and if we get that far and people start hating on Dimitri overall and pretending that he himself is an abuser I will be defending Dimka

THIS BOOK! Look, SK destroys me, but this is on another level...

for one, HI SYDNEY (my daughter) KATHERINE SAGE, you’re here and beautiful and oof I am sad about you and food but I am so happy you have Red Hurricane and your handwriting is proper and you are light and life

Ok, now: the biggest problem with this book is something I forgot about: Richelle messes up the time alignment on Lissa’s segment. Like, Rose leaves Baia on Easter Sunday when Lissa has already been at Court for a little while (even though it’s only supposed to be a weekend trip)... and then Rose has been in Novosibirsk for at least a week but Lissa and them are only just leaving Court (and it’s not multiple trips because Jill’s there the whole time). Like, they’ll have to do better with distributing plot and timelines. And granted, I get that Rose stopped looking in for a little while there (because of pain and then her addiction) but it’s a major ??? that Lissa’s weekend lasts so long (if they wanted to portray it as Spring Break, that could work). Also, please give Eddie and Christian something to do at St. Vlad’s, I miss them- if they went with the Jesse thing that could even be an element to the story (and if Jesse wakes up after kissing Aaron... lmao). I am curious how they’ll handle the differences in location in this book.

The Baia segments, and Rose with Dimitri’s family, are so fantastic, but I need Sonya to have more of a role, because I wait the way Rose kind of looks down on her <3 Also, I get that Mark and Oksana weren’t exactly eager to leave home, but I’m pissed that I don’t remember ever seeing them again in the books (also Rose could have asked Sydney to let Denis, Tamara, and them know she was alive). Actually, you know what I want? A standalone episode from, say, when Dimitri was a senior novice, maybe visiting home for a short summer break, and we see Robert Doru hanging out with Mark and Oksana, and we get some Abe and Janine interaction (and some Tatiana- why is this 60 something year old holding it against a woman 20 years her junior having a relationship with Abe?! I guess her dumbass relative who is Dimitri’s father can show up, though hopefully to get beat down), and also maybe this is around when Galina got turned in Prague... I want a flashback episode for this setting, maybe in an episode while Rose is lackadaisical in Galina’s estate, and seeding in the idea that maybe spirit can save Dimitri... but Rose doesn’t know that when an episode or so later she stakes Dimitri... (lol... sob)

Speaking of flashbacks, I would prefer if they could move Rose tending to Dimitri’s wounds during the novice-guardian practicum into the actual Shadow Kiss adaptation (because I do love the scene and we deserve that softness sooner), and instead they can do a scene of him talking about the gilded books in his mom’s house back in Baia. But I really want the snow angel scene. I can imagine the gifsets comparing it to them in the garden at Galina’s estate already. I’m curious how they’ll do the the final showdown against Avery since so much of that is... mental-ish? Hints of auras in mindscapes? Also, I kind of feel like they’ll have to give Rose a manifestation of herself that’s trying to get through to her when she’s high on the Strigoi bites. The Dimitri and Rose actors are both probably going to have some really challenging material (his will be more the physicality and coldness of Strigtri). I am looking forward to the various fights and Rose being a badass taking Strigoi down left and right, I can’t lie (I also really look forward to Nathan’s death- I will enjoy that a bit sadistically... I still want to know his last name).

As for the Lissa arc, let Andre be alive like I’ve said (even if it hasn’t really paid off until this point), and then she shows up with Jill and Andre has the very sad news for her... Dad was a cheater. Hits her spiral harder (which is a challenge considering how bad she was spiraling). Also, there’s more weight to her being annoyed with Jill rather than the irrational assumption that Christian has a thing for the poor babe, but Jill’s still blameless and ugh I feel for her in this book. I hope training with Mia was worth the trip to Hellsylvania with creepy Reed.

Oh, also I really liked Adrian in the second half of this one- I think it was because his savior complex was out in the second half for Rose and he was less “let me hit on her relentlessly.” Anyway, Janine content was also excellent (her offering to take over as Lissa’s guardian, the visit to St. Vlad’s, though why would she come from Nepal for like 4 hrs maybe of hanging out? idk), and the “I’m Zmey Jr, Zmeyette?” from Rose is one of the best lines Richelle ever wrote in this series. I want to see it delivered.

Idk, I love BP but I have fewer thoughts on its adaptation except that I want it.