#and while i hold onto them i’m essentially 1) withholding them from a person who would love them and 2) taking up space in my wardrobe

[fingertipsmp3]

Nearly done sorting my clothes out lads!!!!

[enneagramwingmiranda]

Parks and Recreation: The actual enneagram types of Leslie, Ron, Tom, April, Andy, Donna, Ben, Chris, and Jerry

The Protagonist: Leslie Knope [Type 3]

“I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.”

Enneagram Wing: 3w2 (Achiever along with a helper)

"I care. I care a lot. It's kinda my thing."

Core Fear: Being exposed as or thought incompetent, inefficient, or worthless; failing to be or appear successful

Core Desire: Having high status and respect, being admired, successful, and valuable

Leslie feels her purpose is to make the world a better place, specifically Pawnee, since this is the place she holds dear to her heart and is the most reachable for her. Her identity is defined by her work and her drive and passion are what allow her to continue to move up the latter. She takes rejection and set backs hard, however, she always gets back up and continues to move forward to reach her goals. Her influence shapes the hearts and minds of her coworkers. She inspires them to be better people and to find what they are meant to do in life and do it. Along with her go-getter attitude, she goes above and beyond for her friends (2) and they greatly appreciate her care and efforts. As for her childhood wound, she has described her mother as cold and withholding so we can only assume that she received praise and attention only from the achievements she made. Her mother also works in government and only respects those with an assertive and dominant presence. 

The Sensible Friend: Ann Perkins [Type 6]

“As Leslie’s maid of honor, I really need her bachelorette party to go well, which is why I’m stress eating gummy penises.”

Enneagram wing: 6w7 (Loyalist along with an enthusiast)

“I’m putting myself out there, meeting some new people, having some causal fun, and it’s awkward.”

Core Fear: Fearing fear itself, being without support, security, or guidance; being blamed, targeted, alone, or physically abandoned

Core Desire: Having security, guidance, and support

Ann is by far the most sensible character. She is the person everyone knows they can rely on. Andy unfortunately took advantage of this quality resulting in her becoming his caretaker rather than remaining an equal. Leslie appreciates her sensibility and this is what makes them such great friends. However, Leslie can trigger Ann’s already existing anxiety from her high expectations and good intentioned pushy behavior. Another side of the coin of is her fear of ending up alone. She is constantly dating and even settles a few times to avoid loneliness. It is when she takes the time to be single and soothes this fear that she and Chris end up together. Ann also has an adventurous streak. She likes to go out and have a good time. She just sometimes needs a little push from Chris, Leslie, or Donna.

The True Introvert: Ron Swanson [Type 5]

“That is a canvas sheet, the most versatile object known to man. It can be used to make tents, backpacks, shoes, stretchers, sails, tarpaulins, and I suppose, in the most dire of circumstances, it can be a surface on which to make art.”

Enneagram wing: 5w4|5w6 (Balanced)

“Don’t start chasing applause and acclaim. That way lies madness.”

Core Fear: Being annihilated, invaded, or not existing; being thought incapable or ignorant; having obligations placed upon you or your energy being completely depleted   

Core Desire: Being capable and competent 

Ron is an intellect, constantly going off on philosophical tangents about the corrupt ways of government, effective life hacks, and flawed human nature. He believes there is only one way to do things and his ways of going about things are very unique to himself (4). He is a non-conformist. He loves learning new things and adding to his craft. He is a breakfast and wood enthusiast. Ron is quite guarded and withdrawn from the world and prefers this. His childhood wound is that his mother was intrusive and over-controlling so we can assume he felt exposed and defenseless. This followed Ron in adulthood as he had many toxic relationships with women similar to her. Thus, Ron feels he is best served to live in isolation and fend for himself, as well as, rely on cerebral means rather than emotional means. Ron demonstrates his wing 6 with his desire to be safe and have security.

The Entrepreneur: Tom Haverford [Type 3]

“At the risk bragging, one of the things I’m best at is riding coattails. Behind every successful man is me, smiling and taking partial credit. 

Enneagram wing: 3w4 (Achiever along with an individualist)

“‘Zerts’ are what I call desserts. ‘Trée-trées’ are entrées. I call sandwiches ‘sammies,’ ‘sandoozles,’ or ‘Adam Sandlers.’ Air conditioners are ‘cool blasterz’ with a ‘z’ — I don’t know where that came from. I call cakes ‘big ol’ cookies.’ I call noodles ‘long-ass rice.’ Fried chicken is ‘fry-fry chicky-chick.’ Chicken parm is ‘chicky-chicky-parm-parm.’ Chicken cacciatore? ‘Chicky-cacc.’ I call eggs ‘pre-birds,’ or ‘future birds.’ Root beer is ‘super water.’ Tortillas are ‘bean blankets.’ And I call forks ‘food rakes.’”

Core Fear: Being exposed as or thought incompetent, inefficient, or worthless; failing to be or appear successful

Core Desire: Having high status and respect, being admired, successful, and valuable

Tom measures his entire worth from his successes and failures. He is extremely creative and is constantly coming up with unique ideas to form a successful business. 

The Misanthrope: April Ludgate [Type 4]

“I wasn’t listening but I strongly disagree.”

Enneagram wing: 4w5 (Individualist along with investigator)

“If you ever speak me to me in Spanish please use the formal “usted”.

Core Fear: Being inadequate, emotionally cut off, plain, mundane, defective, flawed, or insignificant

Core Desire: Being unique, special, and authentic

April portrays major apathy but it’s clearly done to hide her genuine care and insecurity. She wants to be unique and special, thus overdoing it with her quirky, odd, eccentric, nonconformist talk and lifestyle. Her speech and way of behaving is an oxymoron. She deep down wants what everyone else wants: real love, real friendship, and a successful career. As she grows up and matures, she moves further away from her exaggerated dark persona to a normal expressive, mature adult. However, she adds in whatever she needs to to maintain her individuality. April also values cerebral pursuits shown in her getting accepted to an exceptional veterinary school. Her wing 5 is what helps her identify with so much with Ron.

The Charming Goofball: Andy Dwyer [Type 9]

“It’s fine. It’s just that life is pointless and nothing matters and I’m always tired.”

Enneagram wing: 9w8 (Peacemaker along with the challenger)

“I’m not crying. I’m just allergic to jerks!”

Core Fear: Being in conflict, tension, or discord; feeling shut out and overlooked; losing connection and relationship with others 

Core Desire: Having inner stability and peace of mind

The epitome of Andy’s character is his easy-going nature. He is also very caring and thoughtful. He rarely ever voices if anything is bothering him and we see him go through great lengths to end any conflict between he and April. He attempts to make things right with Ann after their break up but doesn’t succeed. Andy possess a child-like mindset and view of the world and this is what seems to serve as a coping skill for the trials and tribulations of life. This also makes him endearing and what makes him perfect for April as she holds a similar mentality. 

The Nerd: Ben Wyatt [Type 1]

“I don’t even have time to tell you how wrong you are. Actually, it’s going to bug me if I don’t.”

Enneagram wing: 1w9 (Reformer along with peacemaker)

“Stick to the list and you’ll do great. I have total faith in you... (there’s like a 30% chance they’ll both die.)”

Core Fear: Being wrong, bad, evil, inappropriate, unredeemable, or corruptible

Core Desire: Having integrity, being good, balanced, accurate, virtuous, and right 

Ben is straightforward and willing to tell the truth, even if it could offend someone. He likes things to be in order. He often feels like the odd one out in the parks department because he values principles and professionalism while his colleagues behave inappropriately. He admires Leslie for her quirky professionalism. Ben also desires a peaceful environment and will keep quiet about things bothering him resulting in passive aggressive behavior.

The Optimist: Chris Traeger [Type 7]

“The world is my gymnasium, Ron.”

Enneagram wing: 7w6 (Enthusiast along with loyalist)

“I am 100% certain that I am 0% sure of what I’m going to do.”

Core Fear: Being deprived, trapped in emotional pain, limited, or bored; missing out on something fun

Core Desire: Being happy, fully satisfied, and content

Chris is extremely positive all the time to cover up his true inner turmoil. He had a tough childhood and coped with the trauma by avoiding the negative emotions and putting his focus on his health. Thus he became a health nut. In the field of clinical psychology, he would most likely be diagnosed with orthorexia. Chris has a lot of anxiety about life and desires to feel a sense of safety in his life and relationships, thus making him fall into the wing 6. He desires the guidance and support from others (he started seeing a counselor 5 times a week during his depressive episode). 

The Minx: Donna Meagle [Type 8]

“You better watch yourself.”

Enneagram wing: 8w7 (Challenger along with enthusiast)

“Treat yourself.”

Core Fear: Being weak, powerless, harmed, controlled, vulnerable, manipulated, and left at the mercy of injustice

Core Desire: Protecting yourself and those in your inner circle

Donna is the epitome of “an independent black woman who don’t need no man.” She essentially dos onto others what she fears they will do onto her.  Thus, she manipulates and abuses vulnerable men to get what she wants and then leaves them. We can assume that something happened in her childhood that resulted in this relationship pattern. She discusses her grandma dying while having a threesome so this behavior was certainly model for her. She falls on the 7 wing for her enjoyment of life's greatest pleasures. 

The Target: Jerry Gergich [Type 9]

“So I go by Terry now. They already had a Larry in the Parks department, and they suggested that they change my name to Terry. I told them my real name was Garry, and they said ‘who cares?’ What a fun bunch of guys.”

Enneagram wing: 9w1 (Peacemaker along with reformer)

“Well, you know it's like I always say 'it ain't government work if you don't have to do it twice.”

Core Fear: Being in conflict, tension, or discord; feeling shut out and overlooked; losing connection and relationship with others

Core Desire: Having inner stability and peace of mind 

Jerry is clearly a peacemaker in that he keeps his mouth shut despite his constant abuse from his colleagues at the parks department. He identifies with Andy in that Tom was trying to dub him as the new office target due to his similar easygoing nature and clumsiness. He shows that he is a wing 1 in his values of goodness and morality.

[tonotbelionized]

Volume 7, Episode 3: Ace Operatives

I’ve now resigned to my fate of pushing out reviews a week after the actual episode came out. Still, at least other fans will have watched it before reading, so let’s just jump right in!

It seems that the episodes are gradually declining for me this volume. I didn’t expect the third episode to be as good as the third episode of Volume 6, as that was my favourite out of the entire series. The bar was too high, so I didn’t hold out too much hope to avoid being disappointed, and it seems that I made the right choice.

Onto the positives first, the biggest thing that I liked in this episode was the whole arc surrounding Ozpin and Ruby lying to Ironwood. The girls are moving away from the hive mind they all had in the previous volume, with different sides and views being taken. Yang and Oscar are not all that happy with Ruby lying, while Weiss and Blake acknowledge that they couldn’t trust Ironwood with how far mentally he’s fallen.

Like I said in my previous review, Ruby isn’t really in the right or the wrong for this. It’s certainly hypocritical given that they were quick to demonize Ozpin for lying yet deciding that lying and withholding information is actually a good choice to make, but you can understand why she thought she had to do it. 

Yang is really interesting in this scene. I’m not angry with her, she’s my favourite character, so I’m more intrigued why she was the one to pipe up about Ruby lying. Yang is one who has a secret too, Raven being the Spring Maiden. It’s a serious secret to keep given that Raven is essential to Salem’s plan, and with Cinder still kicking around and knowing Raven’s secret, I’m sure it’ll come up eventually.

Even if the information can’t be used right then and there, it’s not really Yang’s secret to keep, and she can’t get angry at others for lying when she’s lying by omission. Eventually, the group will have to learn that Raven’s the Spring Maiden and that Yang knew, but I’m not mad because this is an interesting flaw for Yang to have.

And Oscar’s question was amazing. Isn’t that exactly what Ozpin did to us?

By Ruby’s reaction, she seems to know that she’s doing what Ozpin did, what the group shouted and derided him for, and this is the perfect thing for Ruby to grow. She can’t be naive anymore, she has to realise that being the leader means that she will have to make choices that aren’t always what’s right, and that she will make mistakes. 

Moving on from that, I can safely say that CRWBY has bumped the Ace Ops in my list of favourite characters. I especially love Marrow, he reminds me more of Louis from The Walking Dead Game, and his and Harriet’s relationship is funny and cute. The fact that the Ace Ops clearly outrank the protagonists very much drives home that, no matter what they did to get there, they still have a long way to go before they can match the older Huntsmen, and Salem’s group. 

A bit of world building in this episode is nice. The implied connection between the mine explosion and the explosion that killed Ilia’s parents make it feel connected, and that Ilia isn’t just thrown into the void now that she’s no longer useful. 

Also, I will admit that some of the outfits don’t look so bad in motion, compared to still images. The first one would be Jaune’s hair. I don’t know what happened, but the person responsible picked the most unflattering angle for him when they first showed the models, but now that he’s moving around and showing it in different angles.

The same could be said for Weiss’ braid. In some angles, it looks fine, but then when you see it when she’s looking straight ahead or showing more of the right side of her face, you can see just how awkward and clumsy it looks. It’s too far from her head, it’s rendered poorly, and I still don’t like it. Overall, they are still my least favourite outfits in the series and CRWBY really dropped the ball on them. 

The final positive I can say is that Tyrian continues to be my favourite villain in the volume. I missed him and was happy when he was in Volume 6, so now that he’s given more screen time and room to move without the surplus of villains bogging the pacing down, he continues to be up there in character and writing.

Onto the negatives, and there were plenty that lowered the overall quality of the episode for me.

On top of her design being my least favourite of the group, Blake’s change being the only one to be acknowledges is... ugh. I actually think that Yang’s flustered attempts to compliment her was cute, but I don’t like that Blake’s change was the only one to be acknowledged, and that Yang was the only one who noticed. Weiss and Ruby changed their hair too, they’ve all changed their looks, it’s stilted and awkwardly done when it could’ve been a nice scene between the girls.

While I enjoyed the dust mine exposition, there were a few things that annoyed me.

Firstly was Weiss blaming herself for what the Schnee Dust Company, and therefore her father, did. This becomes a problem when we’ve had a whole song and dance in Volume 4 about how Weiss isn’t responsible for her father’s crimes, that she isn’t a bad person just because she was born a Schnee, but now she feels complacent in the company’s subjugation of the Faunus when she was just an abused child with no real power?

And Blake just doesn’t say anything. She puts her hand on Weiss’ shoulder and comforts her, but she doesn’t actually say that Weiss isn’t responsible for what the SDC is doing. 

On top of that, the two Faunus that were actively affected by the discrimination and the SDC in Atlas are not there. 

Ilia lost her parents in that dust mine explosion, becoming an orphan, and had to hide who she was in a deeply racist society, even more so than Beacon. Her friends weren’t like Blake’s friends, they actively badmouthed the Faunus, calling them racist slurs that Ilia had to join in on or risk being outed. This is her home, her experience, and she’s not there. She’s instead shoved out of the show because there was no room for her, even when CRWBY continued to add one off characters that ultimately take up space.

Adam was branded. He was enslaved by the SDC from when he was a child, likely has no parents of his own, and it ultimately cost him his sanity. This Volume could've had a villain who was personally connected to the SDC and the Faunus racism, but instead he was killed off just after showing that he was horribly subjugated, and now we’re floating around with no real villain to tie this all together.

All we have is Blake. A Faunus who isn’t from Atlas, who lived on an island surrounded by her own kind, in a mansion, has two loving parents, and has never come into contact with the SDC until she fought them in the White Fang, meaning that she never met them when she was in a position of vulnerability. Her abuse at Adam’s hands had nothing to do with her Faunus heritage, her friends are all understanding, even after Weiss’ racist gremlin tendencies in Volume 1 which she grew out of, and now she’s the only Faunus that’s in Atlas and connected to this arc.

CRWBY really wrote themselves into a corner with this, and it’s telling that Miles and Kerry wrote this one given this wildly out of character moment.

Moving on, the scene with Qrow and Clover was alright. Up until the talk about his Semblance. 

It’s so awkwardly worded and clunky, and it’s strange that Qrow would tell Clover straight away when it took him seventeen years to tell Ruby and Yang. People try to say that it’s because he was on a mission and Clover needed to know, but that’s still wierd given that it paints Qrow as someone who would rather keep his Semblance a secret from his niece, who’s put herself on this dangerous mission because he told her that Cinder was from Haven and that’s where he’s going next, and stay away from her even when she was in danger.

Ruby nearly died when she was attacked by Tyrian, Qrow barely reached her in time, but if he was honest and stayed with her throughout the journey to look out for her, and tell her his secrets like he expects Ozpin to do, then he would’ve been there from the moment Tyrian attacked. 

But he tells Clover immediately. Sure.

On the topic of Clover, I have to say this. I don’t like him. He’s really boring and I find myself caring for the rest of the Ace Ops way more than him. His weapon is dumb, his personality is just meh, but the positive is that his design is pretty cool. He has the Ace Ops uniform to tie him to his team, but with his own twist. I like all the good luck charms on his person, even if it does scream in your face that he’s meant to be lucky.

I’m sure no one was surprised when he said his Semblance was Good Luck. It’s as obvious as Qrow “Bad Luck Charm” Branwen and Leonardo “He’s the Cowardly Fucking Lion” Lionheart.

So that’s it for the episode. It’s certainly my least favourite of the Volume so far, given that it’s full of really annoying scenes that pull down the good, the fight with the Giest was over pretty quickly given how menacing they made it look in the trailer, and character moments that made me roll my eyes to the back of my skull.

Still better than “So That’s How It Is”, though.

Episode Rating: 6 / 10

[autismgavemychildvaccines]

Why I’m Ashamed to Be Christian

So, now that I am literally sick of the Measles nonsense (no, fucking literally, working 12+ hour shifts on an incident management team has got me sick and tired enough to call in tomorrow), I’ve decided to do a non PH rant, though it’ll for sure rear it’s fucking head somewhere in here. Instead, let’s tackle something real fun. Religion! Time to buckle up.  In my half fucking awake daze that I was just nudged out of, something really wild hit me. My faith, my belief in a very specific God with a specific book (though I admit that other religions, so long as their origin is not a company or a tool to oppress others on the outset, are valid/likely just as true) makes no God damned sense.  (For reference, here I will claim my most closely related sect as my own; American Evangelism [though if one were to ask in person I’d say “non-denominational”, but historically, the two are close] and will be speaking as a part of a community I used to closely belong to but now have drifted away from on some granola-crunching dumbassery that is “I am a church of one” bullshit. I’ve wanted to be other things, but ever since I left the Freemasons, fuck all else has had much appeal.) So, first things first, Garden of Eden, right? Pretty fucking cool place, some might have even called it a perfect garden, a perfect place for humans and God to interact? But here’s my hang up with it. The trees of Life and Knowledge, and the rule that Adam and Eve could eat of any fruit except those grown upon that pair. Why even fucking have them?

 When I asked that as a kid in a faith based area, they said because it was a test.

 Of what?

 “Well, of our loyalty to God and our Faith, of course”. 

Except again, what the fuck? Like, I get the idea of free-will, in fact I am a huge believer in individual free will (I’ll get to that in a sec), but here’s the stickler here. As any other creative type will tell you, we want our work to take on a life of its own. Like say I wanted to program a remarkably bright AI, and it worked, and all I wanted was for it to recognize me as its creator and to discover and enjoy what home I could make for it. You know what I wouldn’t do? I wouldn’t give an AI, even with some simulated free will, the ability to break certain rules. For example, I wouldn’t allow it unrestricted access to the internet or my personal accounts. I wouldn’t even give it the concept that such things existed, let alone put it right fucking there to be used. That would be a flaw, an imperfection in an otherwise perfect place. And yeah, there’s something to be said for giving free will with not-free consequences, sure. But two things: 1) Don’t be pissed when the thing happens that you allowed to exist in the first place and thus forced it to be a mathematical certainty now that you’re dealing with perhaps the most curious species to ever exist.  2) Don’t go blaming them for a lack of faith. If anything, it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy, an act that abusers often use to get what they really want and have a thin veneer of an excuse to make happen. Now doesn’t that sound a lot like a good number of the followers of this faith, as opposed to an almighty, omnipotent, powerful being? Hmm, something to consider there, maybe.  Speaking of followers, let’s actually also take a look at some of the prophets that we as American Christians often hold so dear. Now me? I’m a Luke guy, I like Luke. Peaceful, loving gospel for the most part, and I dig it. Peace and love, baby, that’s all I want coming from stories regarding a higher power that we had to hang up like a fucking tapestry to make sure we got all that love. But do you know who I fucking hate, and who I blame the most for how the American chruch is? Paul/Saul of Tarsus. Thiiiiiiiiiiis prick. This fucking Deus Vult Vulture. Actually in many ways, he really is the archetype to the Modern Evangelical fucking anything. Actively participated in the harassing, attempted extinguishing and successful terrorizing of a marginalized group. Then after being hit back for it, literally “seeing the light” and trying to be the fucking vanguard of said group only to lead it down a path where he’s suddenly the appointed expert of anything to do with the issue. And while he does this, he helps create the most violent and bigoted thoughts in the whole of the religion, and is praised for his visions as he says they are truly from God, and can thus act oh so righteously. This right here is a fucking problem, y’all. Like, I know the whole forgiveness idea allows for some mental gymnastics on how this could even happen, but even then to make a genocidal ass-face your de-facto leader aside from Christ himself for the next 2000 years is a fucking flip that even at the 1988 Olympics, if Christians were America, Russia would give them a straight 10/10.    And yet, for many of us, that’s exactly what we’ve done. Hell, we’ve even fallen into the forced victim narrative of the synopsis of this asshole:  “Oh well, you see, I was a heathen and thus I couldn’t help myself, but then like, the God of the people I was killing talked to me and like, now I have to do this (Take on the “burden” of leading the church) as penance for what I couldn’t help myself over.” We’ve fallen for it so much, that it may as well be hard wired into our nervous system to believe anything resembling it, just as we assume if something is flat, green and on a tree, it’s a leaf.  Maybe it’s why we as a religion (and let’s face it, other Abrahamic religions as well) are so damn good at beating down the marginalized while screaming that we are the saints, we’re the sacrificiers trying to make things better. Like, let’s have some modern day fun with this bullshit, man; let’s see how we treated and in many places continue to treat women.  Of the few churches I have been to, 100% of them had one dual-sided message that made me real fuckin’ uncomfortable, fam:  Part 1) That women cannot be trusted onto themselves and thus 2) Men must take control of them and society to not allow for some unspecified “Ridiculous bullshit”.  (as a fair heads up; I do fully recognize non-binary, trans individuals, etc, but for the sake of brevity I’ll be mostly referring to M/F in the traditional sort of way, because opening up Christianity’s treatment of anything regarding gender fluidity is a Ph.D. thesis for another day)  Now, I don’t know about y’all, but I know damn well that out of all the dudes I know, and all the lasses I know, they’re a pretty mixed fuckin’ bunch. It’s almost like their gender assigned at birth doesn’t really affect how reasonable they could be as people nor how much responsibility they should have. Obviously some cultural practices skew this quite a bit in so far that women are expected to take more responsibility, younger, and for less praise, but if anything that should help destroy, not reinforce that message.  And yet, the idea persists so much in Christian circles. And not just by the men themselves, but the women, also. For the longest time of my church going days, the pastor was a woman. She wholly believed it was just and right that her husband be in charge of everything, that women should be loyal to their men in all aspects. Then again, she also (despite recruiting members primarily from college) did not believe in evolution at all, so there’s that in terms of an intellectual hurdle. But regardless, this inherent submissive attitude within the faith (and even the half-hearted and self-congratulatory “Yeah but we REALLY are the ones making the decisions because we can withhold sex if we want” is essentially that too just a smidgen more empowering), when combined with the idea that men should be wholly in-control (which is a breeding ground for toxic masculinity if there ever was) is shameful. It’s what has allowed so much bullshit in the past, including these recent abortion laws. Now, I’m going to cover abortion in another post (I might get to it tomorrow; It’s been on the burner for weeks), but it’s super pertinent here.  We, as a religion, have allowed ourselves to tell women (just as we tell/told minorities before) that they cannot be trusted with their own bodies, that they cannot be trusted when they speak, and most certainly cannot be trusted to truly hold dominion over anything. And that has allowed the most insidious, hateful, bigoted, disgusting things to happen in the name of God. A God that while I am writing this post I still believe in, but my doubts about how genuine the message has ever been is hitting home. One whose words about peace have been ignored when they could be interpreted or pointed to to support war, where the rich can profit off the poor, or to support sexism, because we as men historically have wanted to control “everything of ours”, or to take the very free will we claim to hold so dear from those who need the ability to make their own decisions the most. Words that have been used to hold down good people from making lives better. Words that in the hands of those who wanted, could be profaned and desecrated and thus allow for profane and disturbing events, both on the grand stage of the world and behind the closed doors of any house in some small town. Words which are held up with a wink and a nod so that followers feel included when they are scammed by some fucking fried chicken joint who wants to make more money to fight against equality, or to pay for another $9 million jet for some asshole who croons about how the poor should be grateful they do not have the temptations of the rich.  To other followers, do you not lament that we are this way? That we have been this way for so long? Because I fucking do.  And to those who have been discriminated or marginalized or whatever else against because of your gender or skin colour or situation or victimization or  past deeds of any sort; I’m sorry. Genuinely, truly sorry you have suffered as you have. Sorry for what people have done thinking it was somehow morally or spiritually justified, sorry that they thought they were saving you. And I can assure you that I will never try to lead you as those before me have tried to. Though if it’s all the same, I’d like to get to hear you, and walk beside you. 

[thelawyerthatwaspromised]

“But Sansa Lied to Jon!!!!”

As a person that believes very firmly that Jonsa is the most logical, poetic, and satisfying way to end the GoT/ASOIAF series, the push back against the Jonsa theory is often centered on some criticism of Sansa’s character. She’s also been the subject of innumerable theories regarding her loyalty to the Starks in general and Jon in particular.

The evidence (show wise) presented commonly points out her failure to tell Jon about the Knights of the Vale before the Battle of the Bastards or for not even telling Jon how she knew that the Blackfish had retaken Riverrun. 

I used to answer that it was a mistake that Sansa made and that Jon made it abundantly clear that he had forgiven her for these supposed transgressions so that, essentially, if it doesn’t matter to the characters then it shouldn’t “matter” to the audience in terms of judging whether Jon and Sansa have potential for a romantic future, and yet I now believe that only tells half the story. I still point to Jon’s forgiveness of her as dispositive proof that Jon doesn’t hold it against Sansa in the slightest - but I’m going to expand on why even the AUDIENCE shouldn’t hold it against Sansa.

I feel like a criticism of Sansa is the result of a significant failure to understand Sansa’s state of mind, a failure to understand what Sansa (rightfully) thinks of LF, and finally the VERY GOOD REASONS why Sansa didn’t want to tell Jon about LF.

[check under the cut]

Sansa’s State of Mind:

How easily people forget what Sansa was forced to endure BECAUSE OF LITTLEFINGER. 

She was used as a pawn by LF to marry Ramsay. Maybe he didn’t know how evil Ramsay was when he arranged the marriage. It doesn’t even matter. He manipulated Sansa into the idea. He already had planned to “ride to her rescue” (putting Sansa in another Lyanna parallel) without telling Sansa except Sansa took initiative (with an assist from Theon) and escaped before he could carry out his plans.

So LF hears about Sansa’s escape and tries to arrange a meeting with her. Everything you need to know about how Sansa feels about LF is revealed in the scene in Mole’s Town.

This was as much about Sansa wanting the opportunity to tell LF off as anything. LF surprises her a bit, though, when he tells her that the Vale is prepared to ride to her aid. He also makes her think about whether Jon and his Freefolk are enough to defeat Ramsay.

The scene ends with Sansa telling LF she NEVER wants to see him again. Remember that line. In response, LF tries to plant another seed of doubt in Sansa’s mind about Jon - making sure she hears that Jon is only her “half brother”.

Sansa never wants to see LF or acknowledge that he is a part of her story. She’s ashamed of any association she has with him. She wants to forget him because she now links him with Ramsay in her mind permanently. The evidence is the scene with Jon, Davos, and company making a plan to take back Winterfell where Sansa withholds how she learned about Blackfish retaking Riverrun.

Which Brienne calls her out on...and Sansa doesn’t really respond.

There are two reasons why someone would withhold an association from somebody: they are scheming against somebody or they are ashamed. Sansa doesn’t look angry at Brienne because Sansa’s mind is on the fact that she lied to Jon because of her shame.

Sansa hates her association with LF in light of meeting Jon. Jon immediately promised to watch over her, to go where she goes. She FINALLY has a connection that matters. If you were in Sansa’s shoes and you FINALLY have someone that is willing to show you dedication and love, would you want them to know that you are receiving help from someone you despise and you KNOW Jon will despise? Her shame of LF (and herself for ever using him to help her cause with Jon) causes her silence. How do I know this? Precisely because of the pattern Sansa shows AFTER Brienne questions her in this scene.

“HALF Brother” aka “How Sansa Reacts to Littlefinger’s Continued Manipulation Attempts”

At this point...Sansa tries everything in her power to NEVER SEE LITTLEFINGER AGAIN. She also immediately claims Jon as a Stark visually for the world to see. This is her own personal answer to Littlefinger’s games. In her mind, she’s already decided that he is wrong about Jon.

Sansa finds Jon and feels good. LF tries to plant doubt in Sansa about Jon. Sansa claims Jon unofficially.

Sequencing matters.

She specifically is attempting to do this without LF’s help. She travels to Bear Island with Jon. Her status as a Stark is questioned. She goes with Jon to meet Lord Glover. Again, her status as a Stark is questioned...and help is refused. Through no true fault of their own, Sansa and Jon are faced with serious roadblocks in building the army they need to defeat Ramsay and re-capture Winterfell. It becomes obvious that Jon and Sansa as a team just haven’t gathered enough men.

Sansa tells him repeatedly that they don’t have enough. It’s a point of contention for the audience with Sansa. My evidence that it was never because she was making some elaborate plan to have Jon killed is pretty straightforward:

1) She begged Jon to wait longer to march on WF so they could make another round to try and rally support in the North. If she wanted Jon to be overwhelmed and didn’t care if he died, it wouldn’t make any sense to beg that he delay so they can gather a stronger force WITHOUT LITTLEFINGER. Jon refuses to relent, though, knowing Rickon is alive and believing that he can save his brother.

2) She only asked Littlefinger for help AFTER it became clear that Jon wasn’t going to delay the attack. If her plan existed in any other form that was devious for Jon, she would have already had it figured out with Littlefinger.

Sansa recognizes that this is not shaping up to be a battle they can win. Jon responds that “where can we get more men!?” Sansa doesn’t respond that LF and the Knights could help. Because Jon is so aggressive, Sansa shows a very obvious sadness that she is now in a position of asking a person that cannot be trust for help. She hates feeling as if she must as LF for help...while also simultaneously realizing she can’t expect Jon alone to protect her. She MUST take an active role in protecting him as well.

Never a bad reason to show these two huffing and puffing as Sansa realizes that Jon can’t do this alone. 

So so so SOOOOOOO often this is used as damning evidence against Sansa. Why wouldn’t she tell him? Why would she hold back? Did she want him to die?

All of these inquiries completely miss a huge point: SANSA KNOWS HOW DANGEROUS LF CAN BE. 

She has no idea if he’ll help - but even if he does? She completely has her eyes on the danger LF presents to Westeros and to Jon. She knows LF wants everything. I’m positive she has a suspicion that he wants her too. Where would this leave Jon? Is LF a good person for herself and Jon to be indebted to?

The point of Sansa’s campaign with Jon around the North was an attempt by Sansa to keep from EVER needing or SEEING Littlefinger ever again. Ultimately, she identifies that it’s something she HAS to do.

She knows the stakes after interacting with Ramsay.

And she follows through on her promise to Ramsay that he is going to die.

But here’s where we see that SANSA WAS RIGHT.

Littlefinger DOES become a problem.

First, he tries to come onto Sansa AGAIN. It’s become known to her what he is after. LF wants the North and he wants Sansa and Jon stands in the way of both of these goals. She did NOT wants this. How do I know she didn’t want this?

Her visible discomfort as Jon is telling her that she is the only reason why the Battle of the Bastards resulted in their victory. It is the focus of the camera.

She tells Jon herself that only a fool would trust Littlefinger. She hated herself for being in the position to ask Littlefinger for help. She never wanted to see him again. She felt like a fool asking for his help in the first place! Which leads to...

Sansa apologizes for doing what had to be done to win the battle. This isn’t a point for Sansa fans to stand a cheer and point out how stupid and incapable Jon is either. Because Sansa detests Littlefinger as much as Jon does. She contemplated having Brienne kill him in Mole’s Town. She blames him for her marriage to Ramsay. But ultimately Sansa decided that Jon winning the battle was more important than her personal vendetta against Littlefinger.

In my opinion she rightfully assessed that Jon wouldn’t accept Littlefinger’s help (adding to the fact that she didn’t want it in the first place) because Jon specifically brings up that Sansa was sold to the Boltons by Littlefinger before she begins to talk about him.

It all points to Sansa struggling with the idea that she TRIED with Jon to rally the forces they needed to defeat Ramsay but, with survival on the line, she was forced to enlist LF’s help knowing full well the problems he was going to cause for them. 

Sansa regrets that she had to ask for help from somebody that she hates and wanted to avoid ever interacting with ever again.

Sansa’s now asked Jon’s forgiveness for not telling him. If she was scheming for power over him, there’s no scenario in which she wouldn’t demand that HE acknowledge her role in winning the battle. No, she’s guilt-stricken. And Jon’s reaction is what lifts her out of it.

There is no hint of bitterness from Jon. There is not doubt of Sansa’s loyalties. The way Jon responds to Sansa’s apology is how someone would deal with an apology from a person who’s been hurt and betrayed and closed themselves off as a defense mechanism...which is a feeling in Sansa that Jon desperately wants to break. He wants her to see them as a team. As a pair that can shares in each other’s joys and lessen each other’s burdens.

This isn’t Jon saying “tell me battle plans!” or “Sansa we have to be on the same page if we are gonna do this!” this is Jon saying “I get it. Let me share in your struggles, Sansa.”

This is Jon acknowledging that he couldn’t have captured Winterfell on his own and further that he needs her just as much as she might need him.

Finally in the end, Sansa was right.

This won’t even cover the practical effects of Sansa not telling Jon about LF (like the fact that it could have altered the battle plans in Ramsay’s favor) because that analysis is much more subjective with regard to what Sansa did or didn’t know about the battle. It’s focused on the personal reasons for Sansa not telling Jon about LF’s offer for help.

The idea that Sansa viewed LF as an undesirable threat against Jon and Winterfell? That’s much easier to prove in Sansa’s favor.

1) Jon Would Have Reacted Violently To LF’s Help

Jon couldn’t contain his emotions when it came to Sansa. LF picked up on it. Had Jon stayed, LF’s plotting would have revolved around killing Jon and/or placing him in the same position Robb was in when he was betrayed by his own bannermen. AFTER ONE CONVERSATION JON DOES THIS.

Confirmed.

2) Littlefinger’s Would Create A Problem That Only Sansa Could Solve (a game she never wanted to be forced to play)

“He’s a dangerous man. But even the most dangerous men can be outmaneuvered. And you’ve learned to maneuver from the very best.”

This is exactly what happened...except Littlefinger never imagined that he was talking about himself.

Confirmed.

3) Littlefinger’s Capability At Reading People Would Pose Problems For Sansa Personally

Sansa knows LF wants her at his side. She feels no personal danger from him. Her fear is for Jon. In a telling fashion, LF’s last scene before his execution has him prodding Sansa about her feelings with regard to Jon.

While Sansa detests Littlefinger, she now needs to resolve the situation where she can both 1) retain the loyalty of his forces; AND 2) protect Jon’s standing as KitN since she knows that is ultimately what he’s after. When she enlisted his help, she knew this would be a consequence...and one that she never desired having to confront in the first place. After the scene with Jon in the crypts, it becomes obvious that Littlefinger is acutely aware of how Jon feels for Sansa and he spends the rest of the season prodding how Sansa feels for Jon. This last scene, this enormously important last scene, tells us that he identifies their bond with each other and that a ROMANTIC rivalry is the only thing that could place himself in a position where he could pit Jon and Sansa against each other. 

Littlefinger realized that it was never about power for Sansa. It was about Jon. 

Conclusion: Sansa never wanted LF’s help. He enabled her abuse at the hands of Ramsay. She knew he did it out of a warped sense of love. She also realized that was a threat to Jon. She never wanted him involved in the first place and asking for his help felt like surrender to her. Yet she handled the fallout in a way that allows her (and Jon) to keep the Vale’s loyalty while eliminating Jon’s biggest potential threat that Sansa has any control over.

All along, Sansa not telling Jon about LF or the Vale was due to her desire to succeed without his help  along with her shame at being associated with someone that she hates and someone she knows Jon hates. The proof is in her last interaction with Littlefinger. 

Wherein Sansa finally gets the chance to announce to the world that Littlefinger betrayed her. She doesn’t forget. Jon doesn’t forget. These aren’t the Starks that Littlefinger is used to dealing with. They remember. The North remembers.

“Wind and words. We are only human, and the gods have fashioned us for love. That is our great glory, and our great tragedy.”

[nevergonnabemuchmorethanweather]

Magic Reveal Fics Where Arthur Isn’t Awful Part 2

There are stories of many different lengths and types here, but they all have some things in common.

1. Arthur does not maliciously banish, imprison, attack, or abandon Merlin at any time. Note the ‘maliciously’. If he’s helping Merlin, or thinks he is, this may not apply.

2. Arthur doesn’t shut Merlin out for weeks/months on end or deliberately cause him emotional pain to ‘punish’ him, nor does he leave Merlin to stew in his own fear while he takes forever to make a decision.

3. Arthur doesn’t ignore how powerful Merlin is and all he’s been through and continue to treat him exactly the same, with no added respect or understanding.

4. Basically, Arthur is not portrayed as a vengeful, selfish, dishonorable person for the sake of drama and Merlin isn’t presented as being legitimately in the wrong for keeping a secret that could destroy or end his life.

If you have a favorite story that meets all the criteria and isn’t featured here or in Part 1, feel free to reblog with additions or rec them in the comments.

That Shall Achieve the Sword by astolat

“Arthur, no,” Merlin said, looking at him with those ridiculously blue eyes.

“I’m not talking to you,” Arthur said, and put his arms around him. He looked up at Uther. “If you want to burn him, you’ll have to burn both of us.”

Nothing Will Harm You Here by WritingIsReality

Arthur reaches an arm out and gently pushes Merlin’s chest until he is lying back down onto the bed. He chooses to ignore it when his manservant flinches in fright, though the anguish that coils in his stomach as a result of the reaction isn’t so easily disregarded.

When Enough is Enough by snickersnack

“Please sire,” Leon said. “Please just consider carefully what you are going to do.”

He had considered and he wanted to talk to his friend. He looked around the tall knight and saw that Merlin mercifully hadn’t moved. Arthur had a horrible feeling that if he didn’t get to Merlin soon that he would run away and he couldn’t let that happen.

to the world that never let you be by ImperialMint

Arthur smiled slightly, falling easily back into old, good habits. He was slowly realising that he hadn’t lost Merlin at all, not in any sense. In fact, it was like he was finally getting to know him, finally being allowed past the outer shell and trusted most of all.

I’d Die For You by Fulgance

It hurts that Merlin never bothered to tell him. Never thought he should say the truth, never thought that maybe it would be easier for them both. That maybe it would be fair, that maybe Arthur should have had a say in what he was doing for Camelot, that maybe he shouldn’t have been alone. That maybe Arthur should have been there for Merlin, the way Merlin has always been there for him.

Most of all, it hurts that Merlin never thought these were things Arthur would have wanted to do.

Like Ashes by yavannauk

“I am truly sorry, Arthur. I wish I had told you. I should have trusted you, should…”

“Yes, you should!” Arthur’s eyes flashed angrily as he turned to face Merlin. “If I don’t know the truth I cannot protect you. And I would protect you, Merlin, trust that.”

The Weight of the Crown by cordeliadelayne

“He’s a better man than Camelot deserves,” Arthur said.

Lancelot only nodded. “A better man than any of us does.”

In Time Of Trial by Shine

“You can trust me,” he whispered. He put his hand on Arthur’s forearm, felt the cold steel under his palm. He hung on, willing Arthur to understand that it didn’t matter. Whatever Uther said or did, it didn’t matter. He was Arthur’s.

Arthur heaved a sigh. “Yes,” he said after a while, and his gloved hand came up to cover Merlin’s. “I suppose I can.”

Impacts of Literal and Metaphorical Natures by amethystviolist

“It’s always something shiny with you evil sorcerer types,” Merlin finished, and Arthur felt a distant spark of hope. Maybe Merlin wasn’t an evil sorcerer. Maybe he was a nice sorcerer?

Arthur wasn’t nearly drunk enough to process this yet.

All the forgiven things by OliveBranchStories

Arthur understood why Merlin had lied. He wanted to hate him, he wanted to feel justified in hating him, but he couldn’t. Of course Merlin hadn’t told him. Arthur was the son of the murderer of Merlin’s kind; Arthur was part of the ruling family which decided any who had or used magic were to be put to death.

Facing the Truth by Sanguine Ink

That was what they were, he and Merlin, Arthur decided. Magic and sword, two halves of one double-edged weapon.

And it felt right

Without his Daily Remedy by DollopheadedMerlin

What Merlin did have was magic, magic that he kept from this despicable beast. Even now he was the ever loyal servant, withholding his power from a being that left him essentially inexistent. Even now, as his vision ebbed away, he began to feel the periodic slack in his attacker’s grasp, a small hope he could hold onto that Merlin was, in truth, the bumbling yet devoted fool that Arthur knew.

[novellacoronavirus]

Wednesday , 8.4.2020

Total: 1,446,879 cases, 83,087 deaths.

Australia: 6,010 cases, 50 deaths.

Western Australia: 470 cases, 6 deaths.

There are only four essentials under which one can leave the house at the moment in Australia: 1) food, 2) medicine and doctors, 3) work and education (if you can’t do it from home), and 4) exercise. The rule for them all (unless you live in a household together -- particularly as a family) is: no more than two people together at any time. Always 1.5 metres apart. Cough into elbow. Stay at home if even mildly sick. Never touch your face. These are the new rules of engagement. I feel we will never, ever forget them.

Exercise we do! Running, jumping, jogging, walking. The two-person rule even allows for personal trainers to -- from a distance -- train their clients! Is this a uniquely Australian clause? There may be a pandemic in the background -- but in the foreground Australians are going to be healthier than ever after all this.

Or at least until the restrictions are tightened further. On the weekend there were swarms of people ‘exercising’ at Manly beach. Apparently a beautiful day for it: people swimming, walking down the boulevard et cetera. An obscene sight, given the larger context. In Victoria -- Manly beach is in NSW -- Premier Andrews is not shying away from mentioning or threatening Stage-4 restrictions. This means lockdown, a la Wuhan (minus the welding of doors). All it takes is people breaking the rules, getting carried away or becoming lax. Such as those at health-obsessed Manly.

Yes, I am as guilty as anyone. My life for the past many years has been one of art and culture. But I always carefully built healthy routines into my lifestyle: never driving, instead always catching public transport (thus walking, walking, walking -- everywhere). Eating healthy. Getting my sleep and sunshine. But I felt like I was taking the piss when I went down to Rebel Sports on Saturday morning to buy a soccer ball, some tennis balls and a nozzle for my pump for my basketball.

These are the modes of sports I’ve played (‘exercised’) over the past week: basketball with Kieran at his new place in Bayswater (<3), tennis against a wall in Northbridge with my housemate, footy with my Dad (who himself bought a football just to get out!) and soccer along the empty urban streets of Northbridge -- by myself. Here, literally, is how many times I’ve done any of these things in the past seven or eight years: zero. Actually, I have shot a few spare hoops. But honestly, nothing of the others.

It’s true I have a history of kicking around balls, being mobile, getting physical. So it has been nostalgic for me, lovely. But really: Am I taking the piss? Is it the right thing to do? Is it in the spirit of these new social measures? Would I otherwise be doing it, if not for the circumstances?

The jog-and-kick of soccer ball around Northbridge was surreal and delightful, totally worthwhile. Unplanned, I got up to a canter on three separate occasions! (Then needed to rest, pant, amble along with ball under arm.) At one point a fellow -- kind of scruffy-looking, maybe between houses and employment -- gestured for the ball. I passed it to him. He bounced it back -- it was nice.

Kicking the footy with Dad was also excellent. We used to do this way back, whence I was four or five years old and onwards. It dried up when my obsessions turned to DJing and art. In fact, he and I went for a kick at the ground at which I played a lot of my junior footy, when I still lived at home with my parents (primary school and early high school?). Ernest Johnson Oval. It had new changerooms. We kicked back and forth for goals. Last time I had a kick it didn’t go well -- couldn’t kick a drop-punt to save my goddamn life. But this day (it was a Sunday) I was on. Dad had a rougher time. I hope we’ll have a another chance to iron out the kinks whilst the virus and its attendant quirks remain. We bonded, as adults -- over footy, over exercise.

Are other people doing this? Are people exercising when they wouldn't usually? Is there something wrong with this -- is it ethical?

I went out and had a hit with my housemate of the tennis ball. We only had one -- it got hit against a graffiti-ed wall in a derelict carpark (though with quite a clean, cleared, bouncey tarmac). It was great fun -- so good I even filmed it. It ended prematurely: the tennis ball soared over the (tall) wall onto the roof of a neighbouring warehouse, never to return.

The curve is flattening in Australia. The past week has felt different -- controlled. The PM’s Office has finally released its modelling to the public -- and you start to understand why it has taken so long for them to do so. They were waiting for security, for containment, for a sense of hope. The modelling of the past month or two may have been too much for a workaday populace (including me) to have borne out. Can you imagine the panic and (re)action of learning -- from an official source -- that if this distancing business doesn't work, obscene numbers of fellow countrypeople would die?

Too hot! Withhold it for the benefit of the people, the fabric of things, the collective psyche. I’m surprised they released the modelling in the UK. (Boris Johnson is in ICU as I write.) I realise mine might be an unpopular or conservative stance.

In terms of knowledge and modelling, what else might the government knowingly withhold? What about aliens? And terrorism? Please show us the modelling of the economic and political impact that climate change is destined to wreak upon us if we don’t act credulously and soon.

And what’s next? Do we just ‘hold on’ for a while? Will these stimulus packages see us through? When will the vaccine come -- and are we on restrictions until then? Why can’t anyone tell us this? Right -- it is being withhold lest we can’t handle the truth. Scotty Morrison says it will be at least six months until we consider ‘lifting our foot’ off the containment strategy.

Deep beneath it all, you can’t help but think of the political fallout. Imagine the clout, the agency, the carte blanche Scott fucking Morrsion is going to have if he continues guiding us through this so seemingly effectively. He couldn’t manage the fucking bushires! But he has learned, isn’t stupid. What will he do about climate change -- will his response here allow him to transcend even the coal-huggers of the Liberal right? There are so many questions. Indeed: For me, we are coming into the thinky-thinky-question stage of the pandemic. The details, the weeds. Perhaps because now we have time to actually stop and think, instead of simply freaking out.

I’m no longer scared, not for myself or others -- touch wood. This is most evident in how lax I am with #stayathome. Sure: I stay at home. (I am an engaged citizen and a good boy.) But I will wring out the exercise clause for as long as I humanly can, for all it’s fucking worth.

[reading-writing-revolution]

Heather Cox Richardson:

April 24, 2020 (Friday)

Today’s news was consumed by Trump’s suggestion at yesterday’s coronavirus briefing that doctors should look into the value of disinfectants or sunlight taken internally to kill the novel coronavirus. Since that comment, he has been skewered by medical professionals and made fun of on social media. The makers of Lysol released a statement warning that “under no circumstance should our disinfectant products be administered into the human body (through injection, ingestion, or any other route),” and the Centers for Disease Control warned that “household cleaners and disinfectants can cause health problems when not used properly.” When asked about the comment, Trump said: “I was asking a question sarcastically to reporters like you just to see what would happen,” then went on to mischaracterize his earlier statements.

It was notable that Daniel Dale’s article in CNN discussing today’s about-face was titled, “Fact check: Trump lies that he was being ‘sarcastic’ when he talked about injecting disinfectant.” Media outlets have been uncomfortable calling out Trump’s lies, instead using words like “untruths,” but Dale has fact-checked every Trump rally and speech in real time and regularly uses the word “lie” on Twitter. That the word is showing up more in news media suggests editors are rethinking how best to cover this president.

Their problem is that everything a president does and says is newsworthy, but reporting what a lying politician says without identifying it as false puts the media in the position of amplifying the skewed message, rather than delivering accurate information. This tactic was pioneered by Wisconsin Senator Joseph McCarthy in the 1950s. He would accuse people of being communists and spread lies about them in press releases—which got covered by newspaper reporters—then move onto another story as reporters, trudging in his wake, discovered he was lying. But the fact-checking never got the headlines McCarthy’s extraordinary accusations did, and the accusations stuck.

McCarthy’s right-hand man, New York City attorney Roy Cohn, was Trump’s mentor, and it is perhaps no accident that Trump has always used this tactic to great effect. Essentially, he has made the media his accomplice in spreading disinformation.

Aware that this tactic gave Trump more than $5 billion of free airtime in the 2016 election cycle, media figures have tried to figure out how to cover Trump in 2020 without making the same mistake. This is especially important now that his coronavirus briefings have taken the place of his political rallies, making it hard to cover them without amplifying his political message.

As reporters have tried to fact-check him, he insists they are illegitimate. Yesterday, when Washington Post reporter Philip Rucker asked him to clarify his suggestions about alternative treatments for coronavirus, Trump responded: “I’m the president and you’re fake news.” After Trump won the 2016 election, CBS correspondent Lesley Stahl asked him why he continued to bash the media. He replied, "You know why I do it? I do it to discredit you all and demean you all so when you write negative stories about me, no one will believe you.”

Trump needs that mistrust of the media now, as American deaths from Covid-19 exceed 50,000. The United States has now suffered one quarter of the world’s 190,000 deaths from the virus. It appears the White House latched onto an unrealistically optimistic model in early April when it suggested we could keep our deaths at 60,000.

Trump is fighting back against news stories that detail the administration’s botched response to the crisis. Administration officials speaking to NBC News say that Trump’s disinfectant suggestion showed his irritation at his health advisers’ continuing warnings that the disease is not going away anytime soon, and that we must be prepared for a second wave in the fall. (In a sign that we are in this for the long haul, the editors of the New York Times announced today that, for the duration of the pandemic, they are replacing the “Travel” section of the Sunday newspaper with one entitled “At Home.”)

Suspicions that Trump is using the pandemic to consolidate power were confirmed in a report from NBC News today establishing that the administration has a secret “adjudication” process that enables Trump’s people to override the formulas designed to apportion medical supplies according to need, sending them instead to Republican supporters. “There’s a lot of politics involved,” one person told reporters. “Senior leadership from [Capitol] Hill can call up and say ‘ship 500 ventilators’ and 500 ventilators go out.”

While a White House spokesman said "It's outrageous that the media would ask or even speculate that the resources being delivered by the federal government to the states is somehow based on politics," reporters Jonathan Allen, Phil McCausland, and Cyrus Farivar establish that it sure looks like federal agents are seizing supplies acquired by Democratic states and redistributing them along partisan lines. And Trump appears to have said so. Last week, he warned that he would withhold supplies from governors who didn’t open up their economies when he wanted. “They need the federal government not only for funding — and I'm not saying take it away — but they need it for advice," he said. "They'll need, maybe, equipment that we have. We have a tremendous stockpile that we're in the process of completing. We're in a very good position."

In more news about the misuse of political power, a digital technology firm working for the Trump campaign, Phunware, got a $2.85 million loan from the Paycheck Protection Program. The loan was legal, but it was nearly 14 times larger than the average award under the program, and it got the loan two days after it applied while other companies that applied earlier for what was supposed to be a first-come, first-served program are still waiting.

Trump also announced today he would block the $10 billion of credit Congress approved this month for the United States Postal Service unless it quadrupled the cost of shipping a package. His hatred of the USPS is rooted in his hatred of Amazon, owned by Jeff Bezos. Bezos also owns the Washington Post.

Trump has his own financing issues: a 30% stake in a building that was refinanced in 2012 in part by the state-owned Bank of China. That debt $211 million comes due in 2022, raising questions about Trump’s conflicts of interest.

The president also needs to control the media as he faces increasing resistance over the amount of power he has claimed for the executive branch in other ways, too. At Politico, reporter David Rogers is chasing the complicated story of how Trump has moved $3.6 billion allotted for military construction overseas to building a wall on the country’s southern border. Since Congress decides on appropriations, this transfer looks dicey.

Also today, news broke that Attorney General William Barr’s Department of Justice has appealed to the Supreme Court to block Congress from seeing the secret grand jury material collected during Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation of Russian interference in the 2016 election. Last month, the appeals court agreed by a vote of 2-1 that the House Judiciary Committee has a “compelling need” to see the material so it can investigate the president for obstruction of justice during the investigation. The Justice Department has asked the Supreme Court for a stay.

Finally, the U.S. Navy today formally recommended that Captain Brett Crozier be reinstated as the commander of the USS Theodore Roosevelt. Crozier was removed from his post after writing a letter calling attention to the spread of coronavirus on the ship, but the profane diatribe of the acting Secretary of the Navy Thomas Modly about Crozier after his removal led to an outcry that made Modly resign. To the surprise of Navy officials, Defense Secretary Mark Esper, a Trump loyalist, is holding up Crozier’s reinstatement.

---

Also available as a free newsletter at heathercoxrichardson.substack.com

[russellthornton]

Female Orgasm Denial: The 14 Step Guide to Hold Back and Explode

Maybe you’ve heard of it, and you’re now curious as to what female orgasm denial actually is. Let me feed your curiosity with everything you need to know.

Everyone knows how important orgasms are for both men and women. When having sex with someone, you want them to orgasm. You want them to have the best sexual experience with you, it’s normal. So, I’m going to let you in on a little secret to make your orgasms even better, female orgasm denial.

When we orgasm, it helps us relieve stress, increases our immune system, and even helps to give you a good night sleep. Have you ever seen your partner pass out right after having sex? It’s all because of their orgasm. Even if an orgasm didn’t have these benefits, it feels amazing which makes sense why we’re also looking for that person that’ll blow our minds.

14 things to know about female orgasm denial

So, now that you know how amazing orgasms are, you probably wonder why someone would be interested in female orgasm denial? Why would anyone want to deny themselves the ability to have an orgasm? Are they crazy? Well, they’re actually not crazy. In fact, they may be onto something.

Though we think an orgasm is essential for amazing sex, also holding back from having one can also be just as pleasurable. So, what’s female orgasm denial exactly?

#1 What is female orgasm denial? Basically, orgasm denial is when one person refrains from orgasming. I know this sounds a little vague, but there are different ways a woman denies an orgasm. It really depends on if she’s the one denying herself or if her partner denies her one. [Read: 10 easy tips for women who want a mind blowing orgasm]

#2 It’s connected to a power exchange. Female orgasm denial is connected to a power exchange between the couple. For many couples, they choose to practice orgasm denial by allowing one person control over the other. The submissive must follow their partner’s rules. Of course, everything is spoken and agreed upon before sex and everyone knows the limitations to the dominant’s control. [Read: Your guide to having submissive sex]

#3 Start off slow. If this is your first time trying female orgasm denial, my suggestion would be to take it nice and slow. This isn’t a competition. Plus, it’s new for both of you. You and your partner need to figure out what you both like and dislike, altering the rules as you go. The first couple of times may be awkward, but that’s only because you try to figure out what works for you.

#4 Practice on yourself first. If you’re the submissive, you need to know how your body works. Take some time on your own to figure out which masturbation technique suits you the best, if toys help or if you prefer fingers. You also need to know where the edge is to when you’re about to cum. So, get to know your body and the feeling of just when you’re about to orgasm.

#5 Work on controlling your orgasm. This is called orgasm denial for a reason. If you’re submissive, you need to be able to control your orgasms. Your partner helps you get to the point where you’re about to edge, but, you’re really the only one who knows when you’re going to orgasm. So, when you’re alone and masturbating when you feel yourself about to orgasm, stop. [Read: 6 sizzling ways to control your orgasms]

#6 Deny your orgasm a couple of times. In the beginning, you may not be able to control your orgasm which is perfectly normal. It’s very hard to do and you need a lot of discipline and concentration. But your goal, as you continue to practice, is to get to the point where you deny yourself an orgasm two or three times.

#7 The more you deny, the better. If you’re able to deny yourself an orgasm, it works to your benefit. The longer you hold off, the more likely you’ll have an even stronger and more intense orgasm. See what I mean? A little practice pays off big time.

#8 The basic edging position. If you’re alone, this is how to practice. Sit on either your bed or a chair, whichever is more comfortable. You’ll want your legs spread open and then you’ll want to masturbate. It’s the traditional masturbation position. When you try to deny an orgasm, you want to keep it simple in the beginning.

#9 Use other parts of your body. You don’t only have to focus on your vagina when edging. Grab your breasts, suck on your fingers, rub your thighs—whatever helps you become aroused, give it a try. Don’t limit yourself to just your vagina. Your body is extremely sensitive when aroused, so try different methods out. [Read: 11 sexy solo moves to try out on yourself]

#10 Choose someone you trust as a partner. Female orgasm denial is very intimate and needs a lot of patience. You don’t want to do this with someone who actually doesn’t care about you and your needs. You want someone who wants to help you and really act like a true dominant. So, make sure you choose a person you trust.

#11 Try using sex toys. You can also use sex toys while trying to edge. If you already mastered edging with your fingers, add in a sex toy for some extra pleasure. There’s no actual rule as to how you deny an orgasm, you do what feels good for you.

#12 Think of orgasm denial as a tool. Though it’s a pleasurable activity, think of female orgasm denial as a tool for receiving pleasure. Through orgasm denial, you increase your tolerance for stimulation, control your orgasms, and orgasm on demand. These sexual pleasures not only do wonders for you, but they also turn on your partner.

#13 Orgasm denial is linked to BDSM. Usually, orgasm denial is often used in BDSM. This is because, with orgasm denial, there’s usually a dominant and a submissive. The submissive is denied the orgasm, while the dominant denies it. So, this is why it’s used within BDSM, but you can also do it on its own. [Read: BDSM tips and tricks for the curious first timer]

#14 People do this with chastity belts. I’ve never seen a chastity belt in real life, so I don’t know how to actually use one. But, what I do know, is that many people who indulge in female orgasm denial use a chastity belt to do so. This is a little more intense since you’re unable to even access your genitals. This usually makes the act more interesting and arousing.

[Read: How to withhold orgasms for ultimate pleasure]

You’re probably surprised since you didn’t know female orgasm denial was a thing. Well, now you know. Why not give it a try? You and your partner may get more arousal from it than you originally thought.

The post Female Orgasm Denial: The 14 Step Guide to Hold Back and Explode is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

[thecelibateshoewhore]

Things I Had to Give Up

"So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today" Matthew 6:34 (NLT).

"’Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.’ The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress" (Psalm 46:10-11 NASB).

Today is my father’s birthday.

Although I’ve spent way more birthdays apart from him than with him, I make a point to honor his life each year simply because he is one-half of the complicated equation that is me. If you’re familiar with my story, you know that my father’s death is the reason I started writing at the age of seven. His death helped cultivate the very gift that is essential to thecelibateshoewhore.

Instead of focusing on what I’d like to gain from today, I’m focusing on what I’d like to contribute. Though I’ve never been clinically diagnosed, I oftentimes suffer from anxiety. It’s mainly due to the fact that I tend to overcommit myself to people and projects. Simply put, I’m very high strung and I like to get things done. My type-A personality nearly drove me to a nervous breakdown about seven years ago. Since then, I’ve been able to reduce my exasperation by limiting stress from external influences, but managing my anxiety is a continuous process (see my post “Push Through,” which details my most recent struggle with feeling overwhelmed and emotionally drained). Yes, prayer and spending time in God’s word is/has been essential. It’s impossible to thrive unless we remain connected to the Vine (John 15:5). But, even those of us with the strongest faith experience moments of frustration and uncertainty. After all, we’re only human.

I'm not against setting high standards for achievement. I believe we can achieve anything we set our minds to in this lifetime. If God placed it on our hearts, He will provide the ways and means to see it through. However, it IS impossible to do everything all at once. We can’t be all things to all people. We can’t pour into others if we ourselves are spiritually bankrupt. And it is discerning those things that detract from our energy and happiness that will ultimately determine our quality of life. In order to achieve any kind of external success, we MUST resolve our internal healing. The process will be different for all of us, but the outcome will be the same: PEACE and REST. It’s true that in order to gain something you’ve never had, you’ve got to do things you’ve never done. In order to receive healing, one or more nouns (people, places or things) will have to go – at least for a while. What’s meant to be will gradually reintroduce itself. And what’s not meant to be will no longer “fit” the person you’re evolving into. So, here are a few things I had to remove from my life and/or routine in order to cure my anxiety:

Being busy.

There’s a difference between being busy and being productive. For some strange reason, we equate success with the number of things we’re juggling on our plates. As I’ve stated, it’s impossible to do everything all at once and we aren’t meant to. There’s nothing wrong with having ambition, but we should prioritize our goals based on what we can actually accomplish “in the now.” Otherwise, we run the risk of burnout before we’ve broken any real ground. These days, less is more. I’d rather show up 100% for two to three projects than give 20% to a dozen different tasks. I no longer take on work for the sake of working (or money). I reward myself intermittently for accomplishing smaller tasks – because “I’m always at the right place at the right time engaged in the right activities” and I trust that I'll end up exactly where I need to be.

Relationships.

And not just the romantic kind. This includes friendships. Business partnerships. Situationships. Basically, any and all interpersonal interactions that aren’t conducive to healing and positivity. Some people are easier to identify than others. I’ve learned that there can be good people who aren’t necessarily good for us. I no longer believe in blind loyalty or maintaining relationships simply because I’ve already invested so much of my time (see my post “On Love, Loyalty & Less Than God’s Best”). We lose our value the moment we find ourselves trying to convince others of our worth. Relationships should be reciprocal and mutually beneficial. Set boundaries. Learn to say no. And watch those who are only around conditionally fall by the wayside.

The expectations of others.

Oh, boy. When it comes to opinions, I’m going to try to say this in the humblest way possible: f*ck them. There, I said it. Don’t expect everyone in your circle (as in proximity) to be in your corner. If you’re in pursuit of anything that is going to be even remotely successful, the people who you’re currently around aren’t necessarily the ones who will get you there. At some point, you’ll have to get real about WHO you’re grinding for and WHY. It shouldn’t be for them anyway. Don’t expect everyone to understand your struggle or support you. Appreciate the ones who can and do, but for those who don’t, take it for what it is and move on. Don’t harbor any resentment. Some folks are simply waiting for you to make it before they hop on the bandwagon. LOL!

The fear of paucity. 

There’s a reason why some people have a predisposition to take on risks, while others are content to play it safe. People who are afraid of change will likely remain stagnant. People who believe that they’ll never have enough money will likely live check-to-check. I’m always leery of people who don’t mind spending money on social events, drinks and food, but find excuses not to pay for conferences, classes or services that could provide them with additional benefits or opportunities in the long run. I'm also leery of people who approach situations only in terms of what they’ll gain. These kind of folks have a paucity mindset, and you don’t want to associate with them or be this kind of person. Are you the kind of person to pay things in installments (even when you have the money) just because it feels like your money is stretching? Or when collaborating on a project, do you withhold ideas or have a fear of someone getting the credit for your work? The underlying issue here is not only insecurity, but having a limited mindset. Stop looking at life in terms of what you don’t have and focus on what you do have. Trust that God will provide you with everything you need to accomplish what needs to get done. Personally, I experienced abundance once I increased my contributions to what I call the 4Ts: my time, tithes, tips and taxes (yes, you should generously give these things) in accordance with scripture.

Useless “tings.”

Old love letters. Out-of-date clothing. Rundown heels. Ghost followers on social media. Stop holding onto {physical} things for nostalgia’s sake! For the love of all things clearer, get rid of the anything that you’re no longer using or anything that you don't necessarily need. That old saying, “you’ve got to decrease to increase” is true. Get your mind in order and watch your affairs follow. If you find that your mind is cluttered, chances are your environment is cluttered, too. Make lists. Make piles. Make donations. And make peace. If you’re on the fence about a particular item that’s taking up space, consider moving it to a storage facility so that you can {temporarily} envision your surroundings without it. If it’s worth the extra money that it’s going to cost you to remove it, perhaps it will serve another purpose at a later time. I purchased an expensive furniture set in 2014 because I felt like I had to decorate my apartment. (If you know me, you know that I’m not a fan of pimping out apartments. I’d rather wait and save that money for my first home). Right before the scheduled delivery, I cancelled the order. Why? Because I honestly didn’t want the furniture. I can count on one hand the number of people I’ve had visit me. I don’t mind the open space because it’s now where I get most of my writing done. By all means, if what you purchase is used regularly and it makes you happy, then it’s served its purpose. BUT, if you’re buying things for appearances sake or just to have them, then STOP.

I love you.

xo,

thecelibateshoewhore

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea" (Psalm 46:1-2 NASB).