#and why does she keep acting so fucking miserable to be engaged to him. bitch you dont DESERVE him with that attitude!!!

[darlingace]

(Not about to make a habit of this but)

Reason 12938393 why i would be a better husband for jem: you would not fucking catch me looking like this after he proposed to me. dont care that i had to tell the other guy who’s been a cunt to me but suddenly confessed his love that i’m engaged. i would be ecstatic. and horribly fucking offended by the proclamation from the other man.

[94erz]

Morning tangent 'cause I hate algorithms.

Started my day seeing an ARMY Tweet forced onto my For You page all because they mentioned something else I'm interested in via my main account and now I'm thoroughly convinced k-pop makes people miserable. Like genuinely insufferable.

''Concerts are ruined for me now, Western artists don't have lightsticks, their fans don't do freebies, and what do you mean I have to sit through opening acts?'' like do these people just genuinely hate music? Serious question.

Some of the best acts I've seen live have been opening acts, it gives you an opportunity to discover an artist you otherwise might not have come into contact with. One of the best examples for me was seeing Hozier and Little Green Cars opening for him, they were fucking incredible! They opened their set with a full acapella version of one of their songs and it left such a huge impact I went home and bought their whole album. I still listen to it to this day! So like, what the fuck. Maybe people should try opening their minds a bit and let themselves enjoy new shit, it really does wonders.

Another thing they bitched about are the ''lack of freebies'' while going on about how they went and saw the Jonas Brothers whose fans ''didn't do freebies'' which is just factually wrong. Their fans do in fact make freebies, and we know this because fans will give them out to the brothers' wives and children too, not just other fans. Kevin's wife LITERALLY 3 DAYS AGO posted her freebie bracelet she got for her birthday, and that's on top of all the ones their daughters get, and plenty of other family members posting when they get freebies too...so like, it's not even true that Western artists fans don't do freebies. This person really had the audacity to try and paint a fandom as ''boring'' simply because they didn't get an experience they didn't even try to find because they closed themselves off to thinking other artists and their fans are worse compared to the group they stan. What an asshole. What an asshole way to live life.

They also complained about dancing, like bitch go and see a dancing artist then, plenty of pop artists dance, if you go to see a band that has never danced at their shows you're not going to suddenly get dancing. Just like I wouldn't go and see BTS and suddenly expect them to play instruments. If they have never presented themselves as that type of artist, why the fuck would I expect otherwise?

They also complained about not getting ending ments...and like no shit, normal people go to music shows to hear music, no one should actually need a show with an hour of music cut in order to place a whole speech there instead. Plenty of artists break throughout their shows to talk with fans and engage with their audience, they just don't do it for half the damn concert like k-pop artists do. It's not a flex like k-pop fans think it is to know they get less songs because they have to account for time to keep the parasocial dependency alive.

And I hate lightsticks, personal hot take I guess, but they were annoying when I saw Hoseok at Lolla. People had them on the entire night, waving them and blocking people's view behind them. They were honestly the worst part of the night, there's not a single video I could take without them blocking my camera at multiple points.

End rant. I just really can't stand these people. I can't imagine being invited to a concert with a friend or family member and my only take away are all the ways I now think the concert-going experience outside of k-pop is just 'the worst experience' that 'concerts are ruined for me now!' because I let myself be closed off to it. Tickets wasted on someone when an actual fan could have gone and had an amazing time. Miserable.

[buckevantommy]

'(Un)Happiest Season' review

Simply put, it wasn't enjoyable as a romance or a comedy or a Christmas flick. It failed on many fronts, but this reviewer from Salon.com puts the thing into words for Happiest Season's main failings: 

What's bad: There were two main criticisms of "Happiest Season." The first being: Can't LGBTQ audiences have a holiday movie where the main plot isn't about mining the anxiety and trauma associated with coming out, being closeted and casual homophobia? Then there's the fact that Harper really is just kind of the worst. After pushing Abby back in the closet, Harper ditches her in a town where she doesn't know anyone to go drink with her ex-boyfriend until two in the morning, then proceeds to call Abby "suffocating" when called on it. It's a pattern of s**ty behavior that is pervasive and present throughout the movie, so her redemption arc doesn't feel super genuine. 

Why can't we have main queer characters in Christmas movies without their presence being all about their queerness? We want fluffy festiveness, dammit! They could've made Harper less selfish and more attentive while still playing into the *I'm not out yet Because Reasons so we need to hide our gay relationship* trope, but they didn't. Who knows why, but what a waste. 🎄👩‍❤️‍👩☃️

^ Look at that trailer and tell me you don't expect Misunderstandings with fun and tropey antics + Domestic Christmas Shenanigans + Comfort for Hurt! You will be sorely disappointed. 😞 

NOTE: The flick does have a few good moments. And it's probably worth the watch just to see what's missing/mishandled when it comes to queer characters and queer romances in mainstream movies. 

But it's not really fun or funny or heart-warming - where are the snowball fights? Insightful conversations? Christmas elements like eggnog/spiced wine, candycanes, mistletoe? Where are the many colourful side characters and the hungover brunches? We get one scene of ice-skating for a few minutes and it's wasted on sibling rivalry bs rather than, say.. Abby and Harper skating together but not being aloud to touch—omg the tension!! 😍 

There's just not enough comfort for the hurt Abby (Kstew) goes through; the film wholly lacks those warm-n-fuzzy Christmas vibes; there's just way more wrong with it than is right with it - which sucks, because this had the potential to be such a great movie if only Harper was written as less ignorant/selfish and we'd gotten more enjoyable family interactions and more festive fun - like a celebration in town. Instead we get a few limited shots of the adorable town, a crappy bar, and an OTT fancy Christmas party for performative rich white folk on a career path for power and "perfection" (ie. wholesome family values). 

The story they went with was definitely better suited for a dramatic film, so in a romcom setting it really didn't work. Plus the side-characters were flat; we needed more depth from the supporting characters, more meaningful interactions. 

^ Look at those intro credits!! Look at all the domestic happy moments and tell me you don't want to see a movie filled with such fluffy festive goodness!! Well, if you don't want to see such moments, don't worry because you won't. I naturally thought we were going to get this kind of romantic-and-non-romantic happiness dispersed throughout the entire film, but no. Not a one. There's 5 minutes of Happy Couple at the start, and that's it 📸☹️ (unless you count a photo collage of the happy ending and year that follows stuffed into the end credits). 

BTW: That intro song is the most Christmasy song in the whole movie. The soundtrack features modern pop songs which 1) don't help set the festive vibe and 2) are really fucking annoying; the song choices are grating, not pleasant, not enjoyable, and they overpower the scenes with a whole lotta noise. I really wish we'd gotten more tunes like the one above. 🎶 

About the image below—Abby is actually miserable the entire time, getting worse by the day, barely a smile seen on her.. while Harper is the one schmoozing her family and contacts with teeth bared, so.. this image isn't what you'll get, just fyi:

(also: the only POC actors they had were the perfectionist-stone-faced-bitch's husband and his girlfriend - wife + hubby being secretly separated.) 

The things that the Salon reviewer liked are the same things I did (see below), but imho even those elements weren't enough to save this film from being: 

an infuriating 102 minute-comedy of errors buoyed by a healthy dose of gaslighting 

More cons of the flick are pointed out by denofgeek.com: 

Some of its issues come from the structure of the film, which shoehorns very real queer struggles into wacky rom-com tropes too fluffy to contain the stakes at hand. Meanwhile the choice to have one half of the lead couple be so aggressively and repeatedly cruel—while her high school ex Riley, played by the ever-perfect Aubrey Plaza was standing right there having all the chemistry in the world with the other romantic lead—was a fatal one.

It really was a dramatic plot idea crammed into a fluffy narrative. You can see the conflicting genres fighting to stay alive and they both die a slow, agonisingly dull death throughout the film. The whole *Abby being converted to loving Christmas by Harper inviting her to spend the holidays with her family* thing, only to have Harper force their relationship + Abby into the closet. Straight conversion much? I'm 100% sick of heteronormative bs in my queer Christmas films. 

For the most part, when you're not feeling for Abby's harsh treatment by her would-be fiance and everyone but Riley ignoring her completely, you will be bored af from the lack of festive cheer - not just twinkle lights and boisterous seasonal music, but those good ol' homey family Christmas vibes. With the Harper house + family members, everything's a performance, so that lack of sincerity and warmth makes for a depressing viewing experience: 

^ Jane (one of Harper's 2 sisters) is the only character allowed to be consistently genuine in the narrative (aside from John, but he's restricted mostly to phonecalls, and Riley - but even she's keeping Harper's secrets). Jane is the only character who is naturally vibrant and reminds us of some of the reasons we get excited about Christmas movies: to feel joy and to enjoy the company around us during the holiday season! 🎄☃️🥳 But rather than give us a fun day out with Jane + Abby, we get Abby + the second sister (i don't even remember her name, just BitchFace) which leads to more bad treatment of Abby - this time by two spoiled af no-smile rich kids. *le sigh* Jane carries the spark of honest joy for the entire Harper clan and that is TOO MUCH to expect of one character, let alone a side-character. 😪 

There are so many ways the story could've been tweaked to make more sense and be somewhat enjoyable, including: 

The orphan!Abby thing is just bad. Rather than give Abby a voice, chances to let her personality shine, almost everyone interacts with her to merely briefly express their condolences for her long-dead parents 🙄 

Abby is a pet-minder, ie. she's an animal lover, yet at no point do we see her interact with animals! Not a dog or cat or hamster, no reindeer at the petting zoo, nothing. 🐕🐈🦎🦜🐠

Riley + Abby getting together (even just a kiss) 👄 

Abby + Harper separating so Harper can get her shit together - and then we get several flashforward shots of them separately living their lives (Harper especially), and then meeting back up again - maybe the next holiday season, after some much-needed time apart 🏃‍♀️🤸‍♀️ 

side characters who engage with Abby in a sincere, meaningful way instead of ignoring her (again, we got Riley, but she was outside of the family dynamic) 😊 

MORE FESTIVE CHEER! where were all the staple Christmassy passtimes, the smile-inducing season-specific experiences??? 🎉 

More from denofgeek: 

Where the script gets into trouble is that it doesn’t distinguish between Harper being closeted and her poor treatment of Abby. The two are separate issues and treating them as one does no favors to Harper, nor others struggling with the closet. As Dan Levy’s beautiful monologue late in the movie alludes to, the closet is a safety mechanism—but it’s not a free pass to treat people like garbage. [...] 😟🏳️‍🌈

Even a brief conversation teasing out that being in the closet doesn’t justify how Harper acted, and that plenty of people in the closet don’t treat others like trash, would have been important. Instead once Harper is out (which the movie takes pains to make clear only happened because Harper’s sister Sloane outed her), and a gesture so small it could never credibly be called grand is made, all bad behavior is washed away. [...] 😤🙅‍♀️ 

The jarring underlying issue is that 'Happiest Season' attempts to apply the standard rom-com and made-for-TV-holiday-movie tropes to queer life. So Abby having to go back into the closet isn’t framed as a painful regression or being forced to deny an essential part of herself, but rather a fun twist, in the vein of “but the guy she insulted on the plane is the owner of the ornament factory she has to impress to win the Christmas contest!”🚪😒 

All of Harper’s behavior adds up to making her feel like something the audience wants Abby to be free of, not someone Abby should be fighting for. Once Riley tells Abby about Harper’s cruelty in high school, where Harper outed Riley and mocked her rather than standing up for her or finding an excuse that protected them both, it becomes incredibly difficult to root for the lead couple to get back together, or for Harper at all. 👏💃 

With this information, Harper’s other transgressions go from frustrating to part of a larger pattern. Sadly, it’s a pattern Harper repeats when her sister outs her and she throws Abby under the (lesbian) bus. 🤬 

FAVE THINGS: 

all interactions between John (Dan Levy) + Abby (he's witty, honest, and 100% the most entertaining element of the entire film; i wish we'd gotten more of him) 😆 

Riley (Aubrey Plaza, Harper's ex) + Abby's scenes together because CHEMISTRY, both between the characters and the actors 👩‍❤️‍👩

Notable between Abby + Riley scenes include 3 instances of Riley comforting Abby's hurt: outside at the fancy party (Abby feeling excluded/ignored/not worth anyone's time due to the way they treat her even though they don't know she's gay), at a gay bar in town (sandwiched by scenes where Abby's made to feel like crap by Harper), and at the fancy home Christmas party where Riley gets Abby something stronger to drink after hearing Abby was going to propose to Harper (but it's been a helluva shitty week and those plans are dead) 👭 

Every scene with Riley was blessed relief from the hurt and discomfort and boredom of the rest of the time with Harper's family. 🤩 

Sister Jane, for being a genuinely fun character 🤗 who was written starkly different to her family and treated somewhat like an outcast 

Aubrey + Kstew killin it in various pantsuits 👀 

In contrast, Riley connects Abby to queerness, bringing her to an LGBTQ bar to decompress and enjoy a Christmas-themed drag performance. It’s the most relaxed and comfortable Abby is on screen since the opening scenes, a chance to glimpse Abby’s authentic self before Harper summons her back to heterosexuality, and where she once again ignores and disappoints her. Riley actually talks to Abby at the various holiday parties whereas Harper keeps leaving her to please her family, especially her father. It’s not hard for the natural chemistry between Plaza and Stewart to take over

I wouldn't watch this film again. For a hopeful Christmasy love story I'd just watch all Abby + Riley's scenes: 

In closing, here's a batshit article title from observer.com that just makes you go, huh? 🧐:

‘Happiest Season’ Isn’t Happy, But That Doesn’t Make It a Bad Rom-Com

Um.. yes, yes it does. 

Rom-Coms are supposed to be fun, light-hearted stories about love even when the plot deals with lying - The Proposal, Sweet Home Alabama - so a movie that leaves you hurting more than comforted in sympathy with one of the main characters because the (apparent) love of their life is treating them like shit, then it doesn't deserve to be in the genre of Rom-Com. 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨💞🎬

In summary, Abby and Harper got 5 minutes of happiness in the beginning, and an eventual happy ending after a super rocky middle. The journey was painful and unenjoyable, and it made their happy ending unbelievable and, for Harper, undeserved because of her behaviour through 90% of the story. 

In short: it was not, in fact, the happiest season. 😕👎

[ceruleanwhore]

MLB rant

     At this point, I am genuinely pissed at Miraculous. Among other things, Thomas has wrecked the quality of the show over shipping bullshit with episodes like weredad and, in the process, fucked everything over so that now, no matter what happens or who ends up with who, it’s going to be shit. In a lot of ways, he’s done to Miraculous what Bryke did to Avatar in the comics- ruined established characters and the overall story by trying and failing to take care of the relationships/shipping. At this point, Marinette’s character is so awful in relation to this that I truly can’t fathom how Adrien and Luka can still tolerate her, never mind actually like her. Where she should have been steadily improving this whole time, she is instead getting much worse. This, of course, is because the show is constructed such that there is only the few main plot aspects everything revolves around (Hawkmoth and the love square) but, even though Astruc is clearly trying to drag the show out, he isn’t adding any other layers to the show to make up for how flat it is, so in the process of keeping those main plot points static, he has ended up fucking over his own show and dragging Marinette’s character down. At the start of the series, Marinette was clumsy and socially awkward but in a somewhat endearing way. Now, a school year or so later, she hasn’t improved at all and, in spite of now being Ladybug which would be the perfect catalyst for her character development, she’s genuinely getting worse to the point where, as we see in Desperada, she now acts like she has brain damage or something. 

 The degradation of Marinette’s character is a direct result of Atruc trying to shut down side ships, including some within the love square, in spite of how completely unnecessary it was. He shouldn’t have been doing stuff like that at all, honestly, but things like that should have only been done if and when he was going into the endgame and setting up to finally put them into canon relationships. There are a few ways he could have done this more successfully:     

1. In season 2, after Ladybug flat out rejects him, have that be enough to initiate the process of Adrien moving on and have him be completely over her by the end of the season but leave him single. Meanwhile, from the beginning of the show, it should be shown how the way Adrien constantly says that Marinette is “just a friend” wears on her over time, plus Luka showing up adds another element that would shake things up and leave her feelings for Adrien unsteady. Eventually, maybe later season 2, Adrien would make another comment like that again and that would be the last straw at which point she’d be done. Shortly after that, she’d get together with Luka.

     2.Kinda like what I just described but after Adrien gets over Ladybug and Marinette gets over him, they could get together as Marichat in some rich dramatic irony. 

     So then there is the matter of character development. I’ve already lamented Marinette, but I’d argue that basically none of the characters have any significant character development. Chloe had the opportunity that got royally fucked over, which was probably also for the sake of maintaining stasis, but other than a couple people here and there, there isn’t much to be found. I think this is because there isn’t actually much content, when it comes to this show. About half of each episode is taken up by the akuma and what’s left tends to be more concerned with cute things like Marinette facetiming Alya about Adrien or bringing some macrons somewhere or whatever and, like I said earlier, there are no subplots that would provide more depth to the show and help promote character growth. I think it would work better if a) there were subplots and b) there wasn’t an akuma every episode, maybe just every couple. It gets really boring and repetitive to have half of every episode be basically the same and take up so much space so that there isn’t room to put in real shit and character growth around it. 

     Regarding Chloe, if they were going to give her a fucking miraculous, they should’ve been planning on using that to kickstart her redemption arc. It makes absolutely no sense to trust her with it and then have her proceed to not change at all. All it does is create a shitty situation where this bitch is now a superhero but she’s still a mega bitch so then when she no longer gets to be a superhero, that adds to her being a miserable bitch. Honestly, it doesn’t even remotely make sense why Marinette gave it to her in the first place and when I look back on it I think it’s literally nothing more than pure pandering in response to what people were posting on Tumblr. It would’ve made a lot more sense for her to have had some level of preliminary character development first before Marinette presented her with the miraculous. Also, maybe it could be after she’d made a bitchy comment about Chloe that then got a response that showed Marinette how she was wrong and made her feel bad and this is her way of making it up to her but, more importantly, showing how she’s getting over her prejudice and now choosing to put faith in Chloe and support the progress she and those around her have witnessed. Then, the miraculous and the responsibilities that go with it (plus Marinette’s inevitable end of episode apology) would catalyze Chloe’s continued growth and development but like the amount of growth she’d have already would be enough for her to act more maturely and keep her identity a secret, which would be A Thingᵗᵐ. 

     However, along that same vein, I think it’s absurdly stupid how they really went with the “everyone gets a miraculous (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ *:･ﾟ ” thing. It makes sense to bring in one more but not this bullshit where everybody gets one but only sometimes. Bring on one more, permanently, maybe even add another later on (MUCH later on) if necessary but don’t just have this bullshit where Marinette just picks the flavor of the day. Also, her now being the guardian is the genuine worst decision, period. If it’s really that important to boot Wu and bring in a new guardian, have it be someone else like Alya, idk or, even better, a new character entirely. Wu said he had to be trained so I’d like to propose to have it so that he’s been training one for a while but we just don’t see them because since their training is incomplete, Wu can’t trust them with Ladybug and Chat Noir’s secret identities yet. But jesus fuck, Marinette should not be that person. She’s already quite Mary Sue already, she really doesn’t need that and the episode where she’s able to weild all the miraculouses to just throw in more shit about how she’s so good and so powerful and all that stuff. 

     So, then, there are inconsistencies in the writing, mainly in regards to their secret identities and shipping. In one of the episodes in season three, Master Wu told them they would have to give up their miraculouses if they ever learned each other’s identities, which is incredibly fucking stupid since he then just hands her all the miraculouses and makes her the new guardian. So she’s just supposed to hold that boundary because he told her to when she’s now the one who’d be enforcing it and taking the miraculouses if that ever came to be? So if (when) they learn their identities, she’s supposed to, as the guardian, take Adrien’s and give up her own miraculous but then keep on being the guardian? I think the line from Master Wu was supposed to add drama and suspence but that only works if you don’t go and negate it three seconds later. The other inconsistency that, to me, was glaringly obvious and just as annoying was when Marinette, Adrien, and Kagami went to Andre’s. Back when this guy was first introduced, the way it all worked was that when someone came up, he’d make them an individualized ice cream cone based on the person they love. In season three, all of a sudden, for no reason whatsoever, the fact that it’s three people coming up to get ice cream changes the entire system to some other bullshit all so we can get some over done, in-your-face adrienette vs adrigami tension in which Marinette is a Good Girlᵗᵐ. 

     Then, lastly, I find it extremely odd how there are practically no background characters and that the few there are tend to be recurring. If there are going to be 77+ episodes of “oh no that dude got akumatized”, it would be prudent to have more throwaway background characters to use for the akumas and then only use the main/recurring ones for that intermittently and only when it adds something to the episode and/or the plot as a whole. The classroom kids shouldn’t be the default, they should be used sparingly and with care. Not to mention how it also would be good to have more background characters just so stuff like scenes where they’re in the hallways in between classes don’t look so awkward because there’s just this one class of kids in this entire school (plus Marco) and literally nobody else. It’s a thing in every film or show that has ever been made but in this one, for no reason, there just are no extras and it feels so awkward at times. 

     The way that every single episode is set up the same and how there is that lack of background characters to akumatize so there ends up being a bunch of reakumatizations, plus the way that nothing much actually happens, in terms of plot progression, after season one all make it so that the show as a whole after the end of season one feels really stagnant. It’s like Astruc is trying to hold out and wait to drop actual resolution to any of the main plot points until later on but he hasn’t sufficiently constructed other layers to the story, like subplots, to have it still be engaging. In my opinion, MLB could’ve actually been completely tied up with the whole Hawkmoth business back in the season one finale, based on the content of the show, because there’s just not that much there. It makes me mad because the show has a great concept and I love the characters, but it’s just been shit and it’s not getting better.

[nat-roman0ff]

the rest is history

the rest is history

requested

---

word count: 2,390

warnings: banter, terrible memory and uncontrollable fluff.

---

 Shawn remembers the day you first met quite fondly. You, however have always remembered it a little differently. Shawn swears it was his charming nervousness that swept you off your feet immediately. Meanwhile, you were convinced for the first half hour you were talking to him that he was a serial killer; all awkwardly charming, never taking his eyes off of you. Not to mention the glasses that looked like they were decades too old for him to be wearing.

 It was something the two of you could never agree on exactly how it happened. And now, at your engagement party in front of all your friends and family, you were about to share the story of how the two of you first met.

 “That is not how it happened, Shawn,” you roll your eyes. 

 You can’t stop staring at the shiny engagement ring on your finger. Shawn’s cheeks are pink from champagne, and he gulps down the last bit in the flute before turning back to the crowd of people sitting before you.

 “No, no, no,” he waves his hand, “I wrote a song about it! Of course I remember what happened.” 

 Your friends and family laugh around you, and you grab the microphone from Shawn’s hand, “he really does think that he knows everything. For inquiring minds; this is how it all went down.” 

---

 Of course it had to be raining today. The one day you had off from work, the one day you had to get all your errands done, the one day you had to yourself. It’s Sunday, mid summer, and it’s hot and humid as Hell outside. The rain is probably a much needed break in the unbearable weather, but it was just so goddamn inconvenient. 

 You’re already running late, this was of course after the hot water in your apartment stopped working halfway through your shower, getting shampoo in your eyes, stepping in cat puke, and burning your thumb while making breakfast. 

 It was barely noon and you already wanted this day to be over.

 You luckily leave the apartment in one piece, your umbrella barely keeping up with the pouring rain around you. You skip through and over puddles and thank yourself for wearing rain boots today. The first stop of the day was the local book store and coffee shop. It was your favorite place to go, especially when you were feeling a way about life and wanted to unwind. 

 Really, you were just avoiding your responsibilities for the day.

 It’s crowded when you get in. There’s some type of poetry reading happening that has everyone’s attention. You step to the cafe side and wait in line, trying to catch up in the group chat between your friends. Someone’s someone broke up with them and they were ranting about the reasons why. You lock your phone and slide it in the back pocket of your jeans, not bothering to even start with all that drama. 

 “Next,” the drone barista says. 

 You approach the counter, “hi! Medium iced coffee with almond milk, please.” 

 “It’s a grande,” they reply. 

 You raise an eyebrow, “huh?” 

 She points to the board behind her, “it’s not a medium, it’s a grande.” 

 “It’s a whatever I want to fucking call it because I’m the one paying,” you retort. 

 The person behind you in line snorts. You look back and he’s covering his mouth to stifle a laugh, a bemused expression across his face.

 The barista rolls her eyes, “whatever, that’ll be $4.” 

 “It’s normally $3.50.” 

 She squints her eyes, “there’s an upcharge for almond milk.” 

 “Yeah, I know. It’s supposed to be $3.50.” 

 She groans, “ma’am, if you’re so pressed about fifty cents then you probably shouldn’t be in a coffee shop.” 

 “I am not hard pressed for fifty cents,” you plant your hands on your hips, “and I don’t appreciate your attitude. But fine, it’s four dollars,” you mimic in a snotty voice.

 You reach for your wallet in your purse - only to realize it’s not there. 

 “Shit,” you mutter under your breath, “forget it, I must have left my wallet at home -” 

 “I’ve got it,” the guy behind you places his card on the counter, “I’ll take a medium black hot coffee.” 

 The barista rolls her eyes, “it’s a grande.” 

 The guy smiles, “I know.” 

 She turns to make the drinks and you take a step to the side, “thanks,” you mutter, “I’ll have to Venmo it to you or something.” 

 He shrugs, “don’t worry about it.”

 You’re both silent as you wait together at the end of the counter for your drinks. He adjusts the glasses on his face and you can’t help but feel like you’ve seen him somewhere before but can’t make the connection where. There’s an S-shaped curl that hangs in front of his face, like it’s meant to be there but really isn’t. 

 The barista practically slams the drinks on the counter before muttering, “have a nice day,” in her droll voice.

 “It must be exhausting to be that miserable,” You mutter under your breath.

 He hears you and chuckles, blowing on the little hole in the top of his coffee cup. 

 “Sorry, I’m not usually like this, I swear,” you apologize, “it’s just been a day.” 

 “It’s eleven thirty in the morning,” he deadpans. 

 Your eyes narrow, “it’s been a rough morning.” 

 You slide into the seat of the small bistro table beside you and take a sip of your coffee, “oh course this has fucking cream in it. Stupid Bitch -” 

 “What are you doing here this fine Sunday morning?” He asks, grinning across the table from you.

 You glare at him, “honestly? Nothing. Avoiding life probably. What about you? Frequent the bookstore often? I feel like I’ve seen you before.” 

 “Probably have,” he says, “I’m Shawn,” he reaches over the table to shake your hand. 

 “Charmed, I’m y/n.” you return the handshake, “why are you drinking hot coffee on a ninety degree day, are you a serial killer?” 

 Shawn bobs his head from side to side, “surprisingly no, although I do share many of the same qualities as most.” 

 “That’s unsettling.” 

 He leans forward, “I’m also really bad at flirting.” 

 You grit your teeth, “oh ouch, that’s what that was? Oh honey…”, you place your hand over your heart.

 Shawn bows his head, “that bad, huh?” 

 “The serial killer vibes were high, I thought you were going to stab me in the neck with a spork or something.” 

 “You’re funny,” Shawn replies. 

 “It’s mostly a defense mechanism,” you pip.

 He raises an eyebrow, “from what?” 

 You take a sip of your drink, “guys in bookstore coffee shops that act like serial killers. Those glasses are straight up Jeffrey Dahmer style, my friend.”

 “Are you always like this?” He asks.

 Your brows scrunch together, “like what?” 

 “You just...I don’t know. It’s like you have an answer for everything. You always have to be the one that has the better last word.” 

 You scoff, “okay, Weirdo. You’ve known me for five minutes.”

 “Maybe I’ve known you your whole like and you’re now just meeting me.” 

 You lean forward and he follows, “you see, that is some shit a serial killer would say,” you reach for your bag and stand, “have a nice day, Weirdo. Thanks for the coffee.” 

 You’ve almost reached the other side of the bookstore when you pass the magazine rack. A familiar face graces one of the covers; it’s Shawn. That little aha! moment happens in your head and you pick up the magazine, holding it in your sightline to compare to Shawn who is still sitting in the coffee shop section of the store. 

 You look back and forth a few times before deciding to go back over. It doesn’t take long for you to cross the length of the store back to him and return to your seat. 

 “I know who you are,” you say, plopping your coffee and purse on the table. 

 “Now who’s the serial killer?” Shawn quips.

 “You’re the Shawn Mendes,” you wiggle your fingers for extra emphasis. 

 Shawn gulps, “you didn’t have to use the spirit fingers.” 

 “I’ve been to one of your concerts. My sister got so excited when you came on stage that she threw up all over herself and we had to go home. I want my seventy-five bucks back,” you jab sarcastically.

 “Only roughly eighteen more coffees to go,” Shawn winks.

 You fold your arms across your chest and lean back, staring at him, testing him. You have so many questions and you’d never met anyone famous before but he just seemed too goddamn normal to be a celebrity. Maybe that’s why people liked him so much.

 “Now that that’s over with,” he starts, “what do you want to do next?” 

 You purse your lips together, “sometimes when I need a good pick me up, I head to the Health and Wellness section to find the sex books and laugh at them.” 

 Shawn snorts, “what are you, five?” 

 “Are you in or not?” 

 “I was going to be in regardless of what you said I just didn’t want to be the one that made the plans,” he confesses.

 You stand and roll your eyes, “c’mon!”

 A half hour later you’re in the stacks of the Sex Health section and trying to stifle your laughter with your hands. It’s childish, and ridiculous but you can’t remember the last time you laughed this hard. You also can’t remember the last time you heard a book title as hilarious as Penis Genius.

 “I want that tattooed on my forehead,” you giggle. 

 Shawn covers his mouth with his hand, “I’d pay you so much money to do that.” 

 It’s then that you notice how close together your bodies are, your knee is resting against his thigh and his shoulder brushes yours every time he takes a deep breath. You feel oddly relaxed around him, like you’re spending time with an old friend instead of someone you’ve barely known an hour.

 The laughter dies down and you catch him looking at you. It’s not an uncomfortable glare, it’s not like he’s staring to try and figure out what you look like under your clothes. He’s watching to mark your tics, to memorize the wrinkles in your face and searches his brain to try and find a way to describe the color of your eyes. 

 Or, at least years later that’s what he’ll claim he was doing.

 It doesn’t make you uneasy, and you find yourself drifting closer to him despite the already limited space between the two of you. Your faces are so close you can feel his breath fan your skin, his eyes closing as he draws nearer. 

 “Do you always wear these glasses?” You ask, plucking them off his face.

 Shawn’s left stunned as you lean away from him and put on the frames, “dude they’re fake?! Worst disguise ever, Mendes.”

 “Oh so now we’re on a last name basis?” He asks.

 You nod your head and push the glasses up the bridge of your nose, “guess so. Why do you wear them?” 

 “A defense mechanism,” he deadpans, but can’t hide a creeping smirk.

 “From what?” 

 “Folks tend to stay away from people who look like they’ll axe murder their whole family.” 

 You suck the last of your coffee from the straw, “that’s very true.” 

 “I’m glad it didn’t work on you though,” he smiles.

 Your heart is still fluttering from the almost-kiss. You can see the red in Shawn’s cheeks deepen, like he was embarrassed at what almost happened. You’re not usually this flighty - to meet a stranger in a bookstore and decide to try and make out with them within the same hour. It just felt, different with Shawn. It was a type of comfort with another human being you didn’t know existed. 

 Soulmates, is what he would end up telling you on your first anniversary. 

 “Do you have any plans for the rest of the day?” Shawn asks, pulling the glasses off of your face and putting them back on his own. 

 “I did.” 

 Shawn raises an eyebrow, “and now what?” 

 “Want to come over?” You blurt out, “and like...I don’t know watch a movie or something? It’s a shitty day out,” your eyes avoid everything but him, “sorry you probably already have plans-” 

 “I’d love to.” 

 You look up and he’s grinning wide at you, his honey brown eyes sparkling and that stupid little S-curl that you’ll eventually grow to love handing in his face, “really?” 

 He nods, “of course. Only if we get to watch shitty scary movies though. Truly the best thing to watch on a rainy Sunday afternoon.” 

 You clutch your chest, “be still my cold beating heart, I wouldn’t have suggested anything less.” 

 Shawn chuckles and stands, offering you his hand. He pulls a little too hard and you crash into him, causing him to stumble backwards into the bookshelf. Once he steadies himself he wraps an arm around you.

 Neither of you speak on your way out. Ever the gentleman, he holds the door open for you when you leave. It’s raining harder now, and the two of you do your best to huddle under your small umbrella. You walk the couple blocks to your apartment not really saying much. There’s a weird anticipation in the air and you keep catching him taking fleeting glances at you when you aren’t paying attention. His pinky hooks with yours a couple times. It’s not quite to hold your hand, but more so to say hey, I’m here. 

 When the two of you reach your building, Shawn stops you before you take the first step onto the stoop. 

 “What?” You turn, he has his hand on your arm. 

 He takes a step closer, the step helping the height difference between the two of you now at face level. Shawn lets the umbrella drop but you’re too focused on the intensity in his eyes to care about getting soaking wet. His hand is gentle as it holds your face. 

 “I’ve never met someone like you before,” he says, the rain causing his hair to stick to the sides of his face. 

 “Ditto.” Is all you can manage. 

 Shawn leans forward, capturing your lips in a kiss, and the rest is history.

[sweet-xoxo-thatcares]

I quit online dating...ok dating in general

Definitely taking a long hard look in the mirror, my new job starts soon so I can start seeing a therapist and finally figure out wtf is going on with me mentally but also

I NEED BETTER HELP WITH FIXING MY ATTRACTION OFF OF TOXIC MFS WHO CAN LIE WAY TOO GOOD AND ME ACTUALLY BELIEVING IT BECAUSE THEY LOOK GOOD AND I LIKE THEM LIKE AFTER BEING VULNERABLE

WTFFFF

I met Jay at work, so now I'm worried about blocking myself off too much if I happen to meet someone new and they sound like a nice person, good fit, but then the relationship and family trauma history comes up....wtf do i do? Run?

Like everything that I went through wasn't all my fault, but still I think it would be unfair for me to neglect someone as a potential date if they have everything that I'm looking for, looks good, but they have this, this, and that mental health disorders from trauma or they're just surviving....

But Idk, I think it would be best to get some guidance off the horny, desperate, need somebody to talk to because I can't come out to my parents about what happened to me with Jay and Ayunna because they're not cool about their kids being gay...

Its like "hey, dad I was sexually, mentally, and emotionally abused by someone..."

"Wow...why would you stay in something like that? By the way was it a girl or a boy?"

I think my dad knows. But I did not like the way he responded and said that it was my fault for having sex with them...Like wow, how was I supposed to know they would have took advantage of me and did stuff to me that I wouldn't even like...without consent?

Wtf Dad.

And this is why I never talked to my mom about it either...they think alike to victim blame and doing the oh, well you should have known better way of talking down to their kids about being fucked up by their best friend...

Yea great role models.

I told him and he didn't even hug me. Cause he thought I was going to far when I said I wanted to fight her and get revenge.

He just said you should find a way to release that aggression and looked at me crazy as if nothing bad had happened to me and everything I was feeling still after, was all in my head, blown out of proportion.

Why didn't I tell him I was disappointed in the way he handled that?

It just made me close up on him and mom even more after he said that. Its like why should I have to debate out why it was so wrong of my friend to hurt me to somebody who would rather talk about something else, being all nonchalant and passive as usual.

I don't wanna talk about it until after I move out, cause I feel like he would explode on me if I was to say Dad, I don't like what you said and it hurt me to know that my own father didn't have my back when I was looking for support.

Cause I've been in pain all year, thinking, and being reminded of Jay and Ayunna's actions towards me. I hate them officially to this day. And I'll never love or trust the same since them.

They'll never know what its like to be me, not Jay, not Ayunna, not my mom or dad...so why even bother discussing, then later on debating about why I even stayed in an abusive relationship like that where I people pleased and didn't say stop. I just took the pain, like the good girl-sex-slave/doormat Jay wanted me to be.

He'll never understand it, and thats why I don't like the idea of telling my parents everything that happened, because I don't wanna lose my parents.

Cause I feel like even if I was to open up to my crazy bipolar mom and my passive ass dad, none of them would overreact about wanting to kick Jay and Ayunna's ass like I do right to this very day.

They would have got hard on me, tell me their disappointed in me, and told me everything that I did wrong in the matter instead of actually asking me "are you okay" which Dad never did after I told him the snippet.

Never would have asked me "how are you feeling" "do you need a hug" cause yea, its all my fault huh? For staying with a dumbass abusive friend who was already engaged to someone who treats them like a child too?

Yea they would have judged the fuck outta me...so I don't say anything. And every time I feel a ptsd episode spiraling or mom triggers me, I stay locked up in my room and scream and cry silently until I hear my voice crack. Shrilling the sound like, broken metal guitar strings cause I've been suffering in silence all year long. Hiding my depression from my sisters and my parents, because mom and dad want us to be happy about being alive and living in this house that I stopped giving a fuck about, because well grandma's dead and you can't make people happy about it when it was literally in July and her dead body was carried down our living room steps.

This bitch is crazy, you act like everything is supposed to just go back to normal? After everything that I've seen and been through this year? You think I'm supposed to be happy after finding out your a crazy, selfish, asshole who wanted me to fall down the steps just for pissing you off, my grandma was miserable and depressed all the way up in that house and delusional about healthcare that she didn't visit a doctor for years until it was too late, my dad hides everything he feels from us and mom unless it comes out in an aggravated assault on my little sister when she pissed him off, and now mom is basically forcing us to get back on cleanup schedule and act like everything is normal.

WHEN ITS FUCKING NOT

I bet deep down this is why Grandma moved to live in a cabin in the woods, for idk how long. She even painted the house she bought later on, the exact same colors. Burgundy and Sea Mint Green. Cause she loved how peaceful it was and there was nobody there but just her. Her family, her abusive ex, her abusive baby daddy, her children, and her friends all drove her nuts trying to be there and take care of them....when nobody was there to take care of her.

Except when I was there, it felt like we had the whole house, the whole world to ourselves, and we could be just as still and silent as the wind passing us as we sat on the couch, watched movies, ate popcorn, and enjoyed a hard lemonade with her. She missed being by herself after I moved in and so did I.

No wonder we kept butting heads. We don't like being disappointed by our family and friends, and we sure as hell don't like people making us work for them, and not caring about our emotional, mental, and physical stability.

I would prefer to go to the library for hours and just watch movies on the internet, than to live with my family while I'm still digesting the pain and drama I went through.

And realizing just how toxic, abusive, and crazy your family really is...really made me hate reality. Once the research on why I felt like I was suffering so bad with jay and ayunna started to add up, it all made sense why I didn't see some of the things that actually hurt me, as not as bad. Because I'd been through it already with my mom and my dad. Where I'm forced to take every negative comment or action they said and did, and just deal with it without retaliating against them or I was punished or told I was too sensitive to be told the truth. Gaslighting me.

Like I'm not allowed to feel pain if my mom tells me that my stomach is poking out too much in that dress and that I need to go change or wear some spanx. Then if I didn't want to change there was pinches on my skin from when she would force my shirts into my pants and make me feel stupid for not knowing how to tuck in my pants.

I'm supposed to always appreciate everything my parents did for me, even when the person standing in front of my face wants to be right all the time and I'm supposed to not get upset, not get angry, not cry, not whine or complain when my parent, my guardian does something unfair to me, says something rude, disrespectful, and controlling to me that they know that if I did the same thing to them, then they would slap me across the face, flick me in the head, knock me back to being a kid, just because they said so and just because I still live here.

I hate this place. And I thought Athena would be my escape. I thought I found someone to build real love with after going through so much trauma and realizing the crazy I've been living in for all these years.. The facade is over.

And I don't know what to do except cry and scream for myself in my room, and now I can't even talk to them about me losing my faith and trust in God because everything bad that happened and keeps happening. And why in the hell did he decide giving my grandma cancer was the best way for her to go? She was in so much pain all these years and it was from cancer. Her head and her body was twitching from lack of oxygen. And she was unresponsive as I sat upstairs with her all night on the very same couch I'm sitting on right now.

Its September now. She passed on July 30th and dad called me from upstairs after I had stayed up there till like 11:30 cause we were writing down how much morphine to give her each hour. And the nurse had just told us that she might not have that long left to live. Like maybe saturday or monday, cause it was already friday the 30th.

But after the nurse left, Dad told me to go through her pictures and find his favorite photo of her. I didn't even cry like he did, I had already cried at 10am when I saw no matter what I did, she was still shaking and not responding to me talking to her like before. Still grunting. It was like me being on nurse mode, made my heart, my emotions feel numb. But after I left the room and called Hospice, I finally let it out.

Grandma passed at around 1:30 or 2pm. And two of my aunts and my cousins were over. My cousins playing a game of Uno in the dining room as if nothing traumatic was going on upstairs. None of them reacted at all until they all joined us in the living room as she being carried down the stairs by the funeral service guys. It was amazing to see how insensitive at 1st the kids were, then to see my mom cry about not being strong enough for my dad, when I was sorta pissed off and confused and still in shock about grandma. LIKE WTFFF MOMMM FUCKING CRYYY THAT'S THE REASON WHY YALL HAVE PROBLEMS IN YALL RELATIONSHIP AND OUR RELATIONSHIP NOW

STOP HIDING YOUR FUCKING SADNESS, ANGER, AND GRIEF FROM YOUR FAMILY BY BEING A CRAZY ASS PSYCHOPATH WHO EXPECTS PEOPLE TO ACT NORMAL AND BE HAPPY WHEN SOMETHING SHITTY LIKE THIS HAPPENS

GODDAMN IT MOM FUCKING CRY. YOU'RE HUMAN. IM HUMAN. WE'RE ALLOWED TO FUCKING CRY. WE'RE ALLOWED TO GRIEVE. WE'RE ALLOWED TO FEEL OUR PAIN AND SUFFERING.

AND IM ALLOWED TO BE DEPRESSED AND UNSATISFIED WITH MY LIFE AND MY RELIGION THAT DOESN'T LET ME DO WHAT I WANT AND BE HAPPY WITH WHOEVER I WANT TO BE WITH.

AND MOM IM GAY. I FELL IN LOVE WITH WITH A GIRL WHO LATER ON DECIDED TO BE A THEY, AND NOW A HE AND I'LL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN AS A THEY, CAUSE NOW HE'S GROWING A BEARD, A DICK, A NEW VOICE AGAIN, AND SHE'S GETTING MARRIED TO ANOTHER CONTROLLING PSYCHOPATH THAT REMINDS ME OF YOU AND I HAD SEX WITH HER TOO, BUT I WAS UNCOMFORTABLE CAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF ME AND HER WANNA KILL EACH OTHER OR IF SHE'S ACTUALLY A COUSIN OR NOT WHO REMINDS ME OF MY TRAUMA WHEN I WAS A KID. AND WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T ANYBODY SAY ANYTHING ABOUT INCEST POSSIBLY BEING A GENE OF TRAUMA IN THIS FAMILY.

I LITERALLY WATCHED MY COUSINS WHO WERE FAMILY, HAVE SEX AND THEY WERE KIDS JUST BECAUSE THEY WERE WATCHING PORN AND NOBODY BROUGHT IT BACK UP TO EVEN EXPLAIN WHY OR WHAT HAPPENED. AND ALL I SEE IS FLASHBACKS OF SHIT WHENEVER SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS TO ME IN MY LIFE. CAUSE I KNOW INCEST IS BAD.

AND THATS WHY I STILL AM GROSSED OUT BY THE IDEA OF AYUNNA AS A WHOLE BECAUSE SHE SMELLS WEIRD AND HAS GROSS MORNING BREATH, SHE SNORTS FOR 45 MIN TO AN HR EVERY MORNING SHE WAKES UP LIKE ITS NORMAL TO NOT BE ABLE TO BREATHE NORMALLY LIKE THAT IN YOUR SLEEP AND SHE'S ABNOXIOUS AND GROSS AND IMMATURE BUT JAY PRETENDS LIKE SHE'S MATURE AND IM NOT EVEN THOUGH IM SMARTER, IM BETTER, MORE EMOTIONALLY CAPABLE TO HANDLE THEM BEING DEPRESSED TO NOT JUDGE THEM FOR IT, CAUSE I KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO WANNA DIE TO ESCPAE MY PAIN AND MY REALITY CAUSE ITS NICE AND EASIER TO HAVE AFRIEND WHO WANTS TO GO BACK TO BEING TAKEN CARE OF LIKE A BABY AND HAVE FUN JUST LIKE YOU TOO.

I feel like i lost a lot this year...including my sanity...thanks a lot Athena for triggering me. Now going back to talking to grandma as if she was here like I did when i was on the flight for the very 1st time after 911 and I had a silent panic attack because I was holding it in for the kid and the obnoxious older black lady next to me on my flight.

I cried my tears out and everything felt tight up on my back, making me scared and numb and tingly like I was on a rollercoaster. and mom thought I was just overreacting.

I need someone who understands me and knows exactly how it feels to be me, and I thought that person was this crazy bitch on the internet, who's gay and trans and lost a bunch of her family due to trauma. Because she's autistic, and not the one where they cant talk and do things for themselves. She talks to me just like I would to myself when I wasn't feeling good.

And idk, if I might have some sort of autism or spectrum thing too. Or did my family brainwash me into thinking nothing was wrong with me, the way they treated me, and how I was behaving...just because they didn't wanna believe it either.

I wanna know what's wrong with me, my life, my family and how do I fix it so it doesn't keep happening. I wanna know how can I avoid becoming like my parents and ending up in a controlling, aggressive, petty relationship like my dad who became passive just so he could deal with it and hide his pain from her.

I dont know what a healthy relationship looks like with no confrontations that leads to fights, arguing that leads to yelling at each other's faces and getting distracted with emotions to where we throw things at each other or just walk out without saying anything...

Because I dont know how to be angry. Cause I was never allowed to. and the people who birth me, don't know how to control theirs either without hurting the person they care about, someway or some sort.

I still to this day don't know how to communicate when I get angry. Because I feel like I was adopted from all the daycare people who used to take me in at night time when mom would drop me off and I never knew when she was coming back cause she didn't tell me.

[sardonicnihilism]

A Biography of the Woman Who Never Was

Part 5 The Older Woman

Chapter 3

Even with the best of intentions, when dealing with feelings of hurt and betrayal, people can become quite ugly. Sam and Shannon found themselves arguing over the least little thing. Sometimes their yelling at each other would cause Jerry and Tabatha to start crying. It was a miserable time.

Another compounding factor was Sam had confided to some work friends about Shannon coming out as a lesbian to him. One of the people he told, quickly spread the word around the office. Sam started getting lewd questions like if he was planning a threesome, or comments like, that's what happens when you don't lay the pipe right. The breaking point was when he was called into his bosses office and officers from Domestic Relations were there and asked if he thought his wife was sexualy molesting their kids.

He told his boss he'd had enough and would file a discrimination suit against the company if the harassment continued. A few employees got fired and the harassment stopped, but it still left him angry and bitter, which he blamed on Shannon.

Shannon, on the other hand, was dealing with her emotions of guilt. Sam was her best friend of all time and she really did love him; it just wasn't in the way he wanted or she had promised. She felt like she had put her entire family in a room with a time bomb and locked the door behind them. She felt like she was a complete failure.

Unfortunately, instead of talking to each other about their emotions and the stress that they were experiencing; they buried it all and took to make snide comments to each other and engaging in petty, passive aggressive behaviors. About once a week, they would have a massive argument over nothing, the kids would start crying and hide, and one of them would threaten divorce.

The final argument came when Tabatha accidentally spilled a pitcher of ice tea. Shannon, who was emotionally frayed, started screaming at her and in turn Sam started yelling at Shannon.

"Look at you fucking done! It was a bloody accident. You're fucking acting like it's the end of the fucking world! Just clean it up and move the fuck on!"

"Yeah, just like I fucking clean up everything else around this house! I do everything around here! I cook, I clean; hell, I do most of the repairs! What the fuck do you do? Except sit on your ass, watching TV?" Shannon yelled back.

"Oh here we go again! I've tried to help to help you before but all you did was complain I wasn't doing it right because I wasn't doing it your way! You like doing everything on your own so you can hold it over our heads! 'Oh, look at poor, suffering me! No one suffers like I do. Everyone hates me and takes advantage of me," he said in a mocking, falsetto voice.

"You ever stop and think of all the fucking shit you put us through with your constant yelling and bitching?" Sam asked in full rage.

"Oh, so I can't fucking complain? I can't express how sick and tired I am of being everyone's slave around here? You all seem to be able to fucking bitch about me all the fucking time!"

"Well maybe it's because you fucking deserve it!"

"Oh, this fucking shit again! Ok, I get it! I'm a fucking bitch, a liar, a fraud, a cunt! Alright? So either find something new to complain about or shut the fuck up because I'm damn tired of hearing this one!"

As the two glared at each other, the heard the kids crying and sobbing. They looked down at the couch and saw them holding each other, faces red, in utter fear and despair. It was then they turned back to each other, their faces going from shock to sadness.

"Bloody hell Shannon, I'm sorry. I shouldn't . . ." before he could finish, Shannon cut him off.

"No, I get it. I'm sorry." She then knelt down and put a hand on each one of their legs.

"Kids, sweeties, Mommy's really sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. Daddy and I have been going through a rough patch here lately. We're trying to work it out, but it's kind of hard- really hard."

"Why? What's so hard you have to yell at each other like that?" Jerry asked in tears.

Shannon turned to Sam, her face asking if it was ok. Sam shrugged and nodded at the same time. Shannon nodded back and turned back to face the kids.

"Well, you see," Shannon paused to take a few deep breaths, "Mommy, I, am gay."

The kids suddenly stopped crying and looked at Shannon in confusion.

"It means that, I like other girls. I like girls the way I'm supposed to like Daddy. I tried liking Daddy in that way because girls who like girls aren't liked very much by other people, but I can't pretend to be something I'm not anymore."

The kids just looked at her even more confused.

"Ok," Jerry said hesitantly, "but you still like Daddy right?"

"I do. I love Daddy. He's my best friend. But, that's the only way I love him. I love him as a best friend, not as a husband. Does that make any sense?"

The kids shook their head no.

"The main thing kiddos," Sam said with strained positivity, kneeling down beside Shannon, "your mother and I love you both very much and we'll do whatever it takes to keep you safe and healthy. Sometimes we adults just get caught up in our stuff and we don't see the harm we're doing, but we see it now, and we're going to change. Alright then?"

"Promise," added Shannon.

The kids nodded, pretending to understand, but the confusion on their faces gave them away.

Over the next few months, things did improve. Sam and Shannon really started acting like a couple again, pulling together for their kids sake, Shannon became more open with her children about who she was, and everything seemed to be going well until the kids went back to school.

Jerry's grades dropped. He started acting out in class. He was constantly getting in trouble; getting into fights with the other students, even threatening to kill all the teachers and burn the school down. It was then Shannon and Sam were called in and told if they didn't get Jerry therapy soon, they were going to expell him. So, they found a pediatric therapist and made an appointment.

[cindersinrags]

The 18 Stages of Shipping Co-stars In Real Life...

1.  Two characters have amazing chemistry on screen.  

Shippers:

 “OMG, they’re couple goals, I ship them so hard! They love each other so much! I want their love!”

Hundreds of Fan fiction stories featuring these two characters start appearing on fanfiction.net.

2.  The guy and woman who play these characters attend public events together promoting their show. They also engage in minor flirting and friendly banter and they endlessly tease each other.

Shippers:

3.  These two co-stars look at each and smile at each  other during a panel.

Shippers: 

“Receipts, receipts! They’re definitely in love!” 

Hundreds of fan fiction stories about the real life people start appearing on Fanfiction.net.

4.  The two people who play these beloved characters do a sexy photo shoot together and interviewed together while being tres adorable/flirty with each other.

Shippers:

“OMG, they’re so hot together, they’re practically having sex! Look his fingers are grazing her boobs, COUPLE GOALS Y’ALL!!

5.  Interviewers ask the two people playing these characters about their insane chemistry ten million times, and the stars talk about how well they get on and how much they love each other as friends.

Shippers: 

“OMG, they must be keeping their relationship a secret! There will be an announcement of their engagement any day now!”

6.  The female actress is seen with another male who isn’t her co-star.

Shippers:

“Who the hell is this asshole? They’re obviously only friends, because she’s already dating her <insert name of male co-star>, WHO’S ADORABLE AND HOT AND IS JUST AN AMAZING HUMAN BEAN!”

7.  The Male actor is seen with another woman who isn’t his co-star.

Shippers:

“Who the fuck is she? They’re obviously only friends because he’s already dating his co-star! No way can he be seeing her, she’s totes ugly in comparison to <insert female name of female co-star>. NO WAY JOSE! THEY ARE NOT DATING!”

8.  The female co-star steps out with this unknown male companion who isn’t her co-star. Again.

Shippers:

“Let’s launch Mission GOOGLE THIS MAN AND FIND OUT EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM! 

9.  The male co-star steps out with this mystery female companion who isn’t his co-star. Again.

Shippers:

“Launch Mission GOOGLE THIS WOMAN AND FIND OUT EVERYTHING ABOUT HER! 

10.  One of the mystery companions posts something vague and innocuous on social media.

Shippers:

“He/she’s so full of shit, look at him/her trying to ride on <insert name of either co-stars> coattails! He’s/she’s just trying to cause trouble and he’s/she’s a fame whore! Why is he/she even friends with this person when he/she is disrespecting his/her relationship with <insert name of co-star>???!” THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT!

11.  The two people who play these characters continue to be seen out and about with these other people during their private times.

Shippers:

12.  Fans flock to the Number One Shipper On Tumblr and beg for reassurance that their faves aren’t dating other people.  Number One Shipper On Tumblr scoffs at the mere notion, and calms them down, telling the anxious fans that their fave couple are just trying to maintain their privacy. The fans feel calmer, because if  Number One Shipper On Tumblr says they aren’t dating other people, then her word is gospel. SHE HAS RECEIPTS Y’ALL!

13.  Repeat steps 8 to 12 for a minimum of two years, during which time, fans grow increasingly confident that their faves are dating and will be getting married soon, and they even discuss whether the female co-star might be pregnant to her male co-star. They also grow increasingly anxious because those pesky mystery people are still on the radar.

Basically, all they can think of all day long is the relationship between their faves, and they will fight anybody on the internet who dare suggest that they aren’t in love.

14.  By this time, other non-shipping fans (or antis, as they will be known), start calling the shippers out and calling them delusional and crazy. 

A vicious divide forms in the fandom between those who believe that their two faves are screwing each other, and are in a secret relationship, and those who believe that the two co-stars are merely friends who are just promoting their show, and that the shippers are ruining the fandom experience for them.

15.  Rumors emerge about one of the faves being engaged.

Shippers:

 “There’s no way that this is true, IT’S ALL PART OF THE PLAN TO KEEP THEIR LOVE A SECRET! There’s no way that this is happening! WE HAVE RECEIPTS! They flirt ALL THE TIME IN PUBLIC, who does that if they’re dating OTHER PEOPLE???? THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT!

16.  It’s confirmed in the press that the female star is engaged/married.

Shippers:

They run round like headless chickens, crying and denying the confirmation. They go through all the stages of grief, starting with denial: 

“It can’t be true! Look, she has no chemistry with <insert name of Mystery Companion>, they aren’t even showing affection for each other! THEY DON’T EVEN HOLD HANDS! This is not a relationship!

and ending with recriminations; 

“<Insert name of female co-star> is such a deceptive bitch! Who acts like that with her co-star when she’s in a relationship?  She’s so fucking unprofessional! I’m not going to watch this bullshit show again! Ever! Ever!  How could she do this to us??? She’s going to be miserable with him and it’ll serve her right for breaking our precious bean’s heart! HOW FUCKING DARE SHE HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEBODY WHO’S NOT HIM???!!?

17.  Some fans take to their bed, their hearts are truly broken. They can’t sleep, they can’t eat, They can’t believe that their faves could deliberately set out to hurt them like this. 

Meanwhile the antis are all:

18.  Most fans evolve and eventually move on, but there are still a few die-hard shippers who remain, who are convinced that this is still part of the plan. Pretty soon, they’ll announce their engagement. They just know it. THEY HAVE RECEIPT’S Y’ALL!!

The End.

[journeysintowebcomics]

Worm Liveblog #49

UPDATE 49: The Predator

Last time Vista had been promoted to being the heart of the team, and her first action was to try to help Shadow Stalker. Take a guess how that went. Now it’s Shadow Stalker’s turn to be the focus. I’m both interested and dreading this. Let’s do it! Although...I admit I’ll be kind of rushing it. I just finished the customary skimming of the chapter, and, as usual when Sophia Hess gets involved, my patience is depleting so fast you’d think I’m about to plant my face onto my desk until it caves. And then I got to further than half of the chapter. It was quite unexpected.

So! Shadow Stalker is itching for a fight. She goes to the mall, hoping to encounter some looters, but the police are doing their job too well. Since she’s bored, she decides to call Emma, who is in Portland, away from the destruction and awfulness of Brockton Bay. Does that mean she’s out of the story? I...kind of doubt it, but yeah, nothing worthwhile would be lost if she didn’t return. Even though she was Taylor’s former best friend, Emma has been largely unimportant other than in the first arc or so.

Nobody’s surprised to hear Shadow Stalker doesn’t think highly of the other Wards, right? Because she doesn’t. It seems to me like she despises them. I know she was brought as probation, and would rather work alone than in the team, but it sounds like she utterly loathes that team.

“Two and a half more years, right?”  Emma asked, “Then you’re off probation, free to do your thing.”

“God, don’t remind me.  Makes me realize I’m not even halfway through it.  I can’t believe it’s already been this long, constantly hearing them bitch about dating, or clothes, or allowances, and every time I hear it it’s like, I want to scream in their face, fuck you, you little shit, shut the fuck up. I’ve killed people, and then I washed the blood off my hands and went to school and acted normal the next day!”

So it wasn’t that long ago that Shadow Stalker was integrated into the Wards. Was the exact time mentioned? I don’t really remember. The point is that she’s not even halfway through her probation. I don’t think she’ll last much longer. She simply doesn’t have the personality nor the will to play nice for that long. Just look at how she reacted with Vista. That’s not going to be a one-time thing.

She’s almost glad Leviathan attacked the city, mostly because it reveals people just like they are.

“Yeah.” Shadow Stalker didn’t elaborate too much further on the subject.  Leviathan had revealed the desperate, needy animal at the core of everyone in this city. He’d made things honest.

Most were victims, sheep huddling together for security in numbers, or rats hiding in the shadows, avoiding attention.  Others were predators, going on the offensive, taking what they needed through violence or manipulation.

Well, if anything, Shadow Stalker knows what she wants to be and is completely unapologetic about it. That much I can respect in some measure. I can’t say I like it, but I can see where that comes from and I can respect it. Being honest with yourself is very important, and yeah, Shadow Stalker is one of the rare people who are completely honest with themselves.

She didn’t care what category people fell into, so long as they didn’t get in her way, like Grue had a habit of doing.  Worse yet were those who seemed intent on irritating her by being lame and depressing, like Taylor or like Vista had been this past week.

Ah, yeah, right, Taylor and Vista were all like ‘hey, let’s mope around Sophia/Shadow Stalker to make her angry’. People being miserable doesn’t involve you unless you make it all about yourself by making them even more miserable. I’d even say Sophia brought that annoyance onto herself even if she doesn’t realize it.

They weren’t all bad.  The victim personality did have a habit of pissing her off, but she could let them be so long as the person or people in question stayed out of sight and out of mind, accepting their place without fight or fanfare.  There were some ‘predators’, she could admit, that were even useful.  Emma came to mind, the girl went a long way towards making life out of costume tolerable, and there was Director Piggot, who had kept her out of jail thus far, because she fit into the woman’s overarching agenda of PR and the illusion of a working system.

I think I get what’s her preferred attitude towards people: either be useful to her, or stay away. Hm. Quite pragmatic, but rather dangerous for people in general, because if she perceives someone as getting in her way, she’s not going to just let that go without comeuppance.

The conversation doesn’t last long, something happens that gets her attention: a convoy of vehicles with the headlights off, meaning it wants to go unnoticed. It could be a caravan of supplies, or it could be Coil’s men.

What follows is a short explanation about the mechanics of Shadow Stalker’s power. When she turns wispy, she is in a state where her body stops any biological activity except her cognitive functions. If it weren’t for the fact she can still move and think, she’d be clinically dead. Her very light weight, and the state of her body allow her to move at high speeds and jump at great altitude. That’s how she can follow the trucks with ease, observing and ready to move if necessary.

And here is trouble! Menja attacks! I suppose that means these are supplies trucks, then.

Miss Militia was climbing up out of the lead truck’s passenger door in an instant, hefting a grenade launcher to blast Menja three times in quick succession.

Okay, they weren’t. It was a trap organized by the Protectorate and the PRT. Many PRT agents and Miss Militia are here, attacking, and Shadow Stalker’s going to jump into the fray because I’m pretty sure she was aching for a fight, and there’s one! It’s a good thing she’s a very competent fighter, or I’d be wary of this.

Menja isn’t alone, though, other parahumans aligned with the now-gone E88 are here. Hookwolf, Cricket, Stormtiger, and several henchmen. There’s plethora of targets for her, but I think she’s likely to go for the big ones. And indeed, her target is Cricket, who…is tranquilized rather quickly. Well! That was a bit underwhelming, given how well Cricket had fought her last fight, but yeah, that’s how it went this time.

Who else? Menja was classified as a breaker, the spatial-warping effect that surrounded her made incoming attacks smaller even as she simultaneously made herself bigger.  The darts wouldn’t even be noticeable to her.  Stormtiger could deflect projectiles by sensing and adjusting air currents.  With the right timing, so her shots came out of the shadow state as they arrived to make contact with him?  Maybe. But he was engaged in a fist fight with Assault, and she’d be risking tagging the hero.  Hookwolf?  No point. He was currently in the shape of a gigantic wolf made of whirring metal blades.  Even if the dart did penetrate something approximating flesh, which it wouldn’t, his entire biology was so different that she doubted he would be affected.

All of those are pretty good points about why to target or not target them. Would Menja keep enlarging herself continuously? If not, maybe something could be done there, although…if the way her power works means that when she’s in a larger size all incoming attacks are smaller even if she’s not actively willing it to happen, then it’d be useless to attack her with the darts.

Since there was no easy target among the parahumans anymore, she focuses on the normal troops that came to fight. Those are no rival for her, being just…normal people, I suppose. Knocking them out is no problem. I have the feeling it’ll leave a lot to be desired, that this won’t make her feel any better. It angers Hookwolf, at least, and I’m pretty sure he knows who’s causing his troops to faint because all the villains in the city know what each Ward and Protectorate can do, but I don’t think he can do much against Shadow Stalker, can he? His abilities don’t allow much strategy to defeat her. It’s...it’d be like a stalemate, if they were mano-a-mano.

As expected, it’s extremely easy for Shadow Stalker to fight the human troops, but she can’t finish the fight because someone appears from an alleyway, there are bugs everywhere now. Oh, jolly! Is this what I think it is?

The girl glanced left, around the back of the truck, then glanced right, where she might have seen Shadow Stalker if she looked up just a little.  The lenses of her mask caught the moonlight, flashing a pale yellow.

Skitter.

Well hello there, protagonist of Worm! Last time I saw her; she was telling Tattletale about her plans, conveniently off-screen and unknown for the reader. Suspense! And she’s here...I’m pretty sure it’ll be related to her plans, and since she’s fighting the Chosen troops – and I really, really, really doubt she’d join any of the E88 remnants, and she’s not joining the Protectorate or the Wards...she most likely went rogue. Is she against the villains, meaning she’s trying to give herself a new heroic reputation...somehow? Pretty doubtful, since she’d get arrested at the first chance the heroes have. Is she just fighting people for her own satisfaction? No, that can’t be it...that wouldn’t lead anywhere. Maybe there’s a strategic reason to help defeat them.

The bug girl drew her combat stick, whipped it out to full length, and dispatched the Chosen one by one.  Shadow Stalker couldn’t see the hits, between the darkness and the obscuring mass of the swarm, but she saw the splashes and movements of the Chosen as they fell to the ground, clutching their faces, knees, and hands.

Alright, she has improved a lot since she started! Now she can hold her ground against a bunch of mooks without even using her bugs to defeat them, it was mostly her baton. Pretty nice! Boy, if only you knew that was Taylor Hebert, Sophia.

Many of the bugs fly towards the rest of the Chosen and to the PRT members, and Skitter takes the chance to steal a bag of supplies from one of the trucks. Oh, it wasn’t entirely a trap, it really was carrying supplies despite the large amount of agents. She takes the bag and runs, Shadow Stalker chooses to pursue her.

You saw my face.  Shadow Stalker thought, Records say you’ve got no team, now.  Operating alone between the old Boardwalk and the east end of Downtown.

Ah, right, looks like she was informed of what happened. That was to be expected, anyone would like to know if a dangerous villain found out how you looked like. It doesn’t guarantee a person knows your identity, but it’d be a starting point. Besides, Shadow Stalker wouldn’t let a chance to deal with a loose end pass. Knowing her, she’s going to pursue Skitter to the ends of the earth. What an unfortunate encounter. I don’t think Shadow Stalker and Skitter have fought each other before, this should be an interesting fight.

Leaving that aside, enough time has passed for the Wards and the Protectorate to have defined what are Skitter’s current activities. She’s staying near a familiar area. Not the Docks, but if I remember how the city is like, that’s not too far from there. I wonder what she’s doing over there, though? Has she taken possession of that territory, taking advantage of what’s in there? I can’t say I imagine there’s much there, what with how the tidal waves during the Leviathan fight destroyed all that place. On the other hand, that may mean she has time and a location to hide in until her plans with Tattletale are finished.

She withdrew a cartridge for her crossbow, each bolt loaded in at a slight angle, so the aluminum ‘feathers’ at the tail of each bolt stuck out.  She popped out one bolt to examine it, then turned it around so the barbed, razor sharp arrowhead caught the moonlight.  As Skitter passed beneath her, she turned the bolt’s point so her perspective made it appear to be at the girl’s throat.

Operating solo means there’s nobody to miss you.

Of course she’s going to kill Skitter, who’d have thunk it. I’m in absolute shock. Okay, no, not really. The good thing here is that I clearly remember Skitter’s narration mentioning how her armor is rather resistant, blades didn’t work very well even at that spot. Even if Shadow Stalker fired the bolt, there’s a chance Skitter’s costume will be sturdy enough to stop the bolt from burying into her neck. Although...um...I’m pretty sure a pointy object like that one wouldn’t need to get too deep before it causes a lot of damage. It’s not for nothing that predators try to crush large prey’s necks. There’s the spine, a couple arteries, the windpipe...you’d have to be lucky not to be hit in a lethal spot.

Skitter’s not stupid, she has ways to find out if there’s danger. There are a few clouds of bugs flying around, and one collides against Shadow Stalker. Even if Shadow Stalker is in her wispy form, I think the bugs would feel there’s something odd. Indeed, Skitter drops the bag and runs. Oh, the chase is on!

While running, bugs pass through Shadow Stalker. If there were enough bugs, they could even push back, that’s how light she turns when she’s in that wispy state. There aren’t enough bugs for such thing, but since she can’t turn back into a more physical state when there are bugs in middle of her, that slows her down a bit. Alright, then! Skitter will need every bit of advantage she can get.

Oh, welp, nevermind! Skitter just got a roundhouse kick to the face and fell to the ground. Man, these fights never go well at first for the character we have to root for, eh? Skitter isn’t giving up, of course, even though she’s on the ground, she takes her baton and tries to hit Shadow Stalker. It isn’t really working.

The stick passed through her head, once.  She resisted the urge to snap back to her normal form and retaliate.  The girl was powerless here.  Shadow Stalker could afford to hound her, drive her to the brink of desperation, wear her down.

For the love of—I’m not very knowledgeable about the superhero genre, but even I’m aware heroes and villains much better and/or likable than you have lost precisely because of what you’re doing. Overconfidence seriously can make you lose, seriously. Taunting is acceptable, and Shadow Stalker indulges in some of that, but toying with the person you’re fighting is giving them openings to strike back.

Skitter gripped her weapon two-handed again.  The grip was strange.  Something in her left hand?

Shadow Stalker realized what it was.  She simultaneously moved back, gripped her cloak with her left hand and shifted to her solid state to raise the fabric as a barrier.  The pepper spray spattered her cloak.

And there it is! It’s not like I wanted to see Skitter injured or anything like that, it’s just that losing a fight because of they toy with their opponent is something that kind of annoys me. Maybe it’s my pragmatic nature shining through. Leaving that aside, this was her plan. Even the simplest weapons can be of a lot of help against capes. You’d never think spraying a superhero with pepper spray would work, but it does!

The chase continues again, and the narration reminds me Sophia was in the school track team before. Of course she’d start gaining on Skitter, she has a lot of practice running, and her power helps a lot, too. Skitter tries to climb a fire escape, but she doesn’t go very far before she changes her mind and jumps over a fence – fence Shadow Stalker could pass through easily, of course.

A flash and spray of sparks erupted as the shot made contact with the fence.

Oh, it’s electrified, and apparently, that’s a big problem. Shadow Stalker isn’t sure why, but her wispy form is much more vulnerable to electricity than most people would think. The exact reason why is unknown. Hmmm...could it be that when she wills herself to be intangible, her body partly turns into water vapor? The human body has large amounts of water, and as everyone knows, water is an excellent conductor of electricity. That may be why she’s vulnerable.

Skitter had known the fence was electrified, judging by the route she’d taken through the fire escape.  The area here didn’t have any power, so the question was whether it something this area’s inhabitants had set up to protect themselves… or was it a trap Skitter had put in place well in advance?  No.  More likely the girl had studied this area before carrying out any crimes.

Hah! Waaaaaay to make some specific denial in the narration, Mr. Wildbow. I doubt Skitter didn’t plan this. She’s way too careful to not plan this. She also has Tattletale as an ally. Tattletale could have found out this weakness and informed Skitter. The problem is that I have no idea why she’d prepare a trap against Shadow Stalker. Just to be careful if she was pursued? Did she have a different plan in case Miss Militia or Assault were the ones following her? I suppose she did.

She really didn’t like the idea that the villain had not only seen her face, but that she might have figured out one of her weaknesses.  Two, if she counted the pepper spray.  Being permeable was a problem when she absorbed gases, vapors and aerosols directly into her body.  It wouldn’t affect her if she was in her shadow state, and it would eventually filter out, but if she were forced to change back, she’d suffer as badly as anyone, if not worse.

Tattletale definitely was involved in this, no way she wasn’t. Also, it makes sense that Shadow Stalker would be vulnerable to that kind of thing, her shadow state is permeable and since stuff can pass through it, air and gases can do it too. Transforming back while being in middle of a cloud of pepper spray can’t be a fun time.

While running, Skitter gathered as many bugs as possible on herself, splitting in two at the first chance and going in opposite directions. Hohoh, I see what you’re doing, Skitter. Looks like making decoys has turned into part of her skills by now! This is the third time she does something like this. Her control over bugs is so masterful she can make one of the decoys pretend to be injured and fall to the floor, Shadow Stalker falls for that, hook, line and sinker. Man, I missed reading about Skitter fighting. Something I have always liked of her is that she’s rather clever and uses her powers rather creatively. There’s always something new in her fights.

What worked once could perhaps work again? It was worth a try, just that this time instead of dividing into two, she divided into four. This time she manages to hit all four options, and one falls to the floor. Shadow Stalker doesn’t waste any time, she pounces and holds Skitter’s face onto the water, letting her turn around but not letting her stand up. Thankfully, Shadow Stalker isn’t in the mood to play anymore, she tries to cut Skitter’s throat with an arrow. How many times has your costume saved your life, Skitter? To this day, that costume has been pretty damn useful.

While Shadow Stalker tries to think of a way to kill Skitter without leaving a bunch of clues she’s the one who did it...something unexpected happens. I never thought I’d see this happen.

While she craned her head to one side to the next to search for something useful, her surroundings were plunged into darkness.

At this point, I associate darkness in this story with one single character. How nice of you to be around to save Skitter’s hide, Grue, what’s up? Or did Skitter make amends with him? Tattletale is a good mediator, she’d be able to convince him to lend a hand if this was some sort of plan, but after the way the eighth arc ended, I didn’t think Skitter would be in contact with any Undersider other than Tattletale. If this was a plan they agreed since the beginning, it must be a very good plan, if Grue agreed to take part in it.

The darkness and Shadow Stalker’s power aren’t a good combination. She is sluggish, has a hard time moving, and the fact something large is dissipating her body through well-timed hits isn’t helping. Skitter, I’d say, may be the one hitting now. Once Shadow Stalker has been weakened enough, the darkness disappears.

She tried to raise her right crossbow, but her hand seized up, no longer under her own control as it bent to a pain like a bad Charlie horse.  Her fingers curled back, and the crossbow tumbled from her fingers.

I recognize that power too. Regent? Is Heckpuppy around, too? It seems not only Grue is taking part in...whatever’s going on here, Regent is here too. What’s going on? I’m so lost right now, and at the same time I’m so intrigued. Clearly Skitter didn’t sit around doing nothing during this interlude arc!

A-yup, there are the dogs! Nice touch, Mr. Wildbow, using the narration to call Heckpuppy by her family friendly name. Heckpuppy has several dogs, one of them has one eye missing. I’m pretty sure I remember why’s that. I’ll reread after posting this update, as this is quite a minor detail. If I remember correctly, Angelica had lost an eye during the fight. Glad one of the dogs survived Leviathan’s fury! There’s something else that gets my attention more than that, though.

A girl Shadow Stalker didn’t recognize stood just behind him, wearing a black scarf and a pale gray mask with pointed horns arching over the top of her head.  The eyes of the mask had lenses that were black from corner to corner, stylized to look fierce, more animal than human.

That’s a new person. Did Coil get someone else to join the group? He has the resources and ways to find new capes to join his troops and groups.

Seeing the group all gathered together and contradicting the intel the Wards and the Protectorate had makes Shadow Stalker think the drama about betrayal and all that had been a ruse. Oh, if only it was. That’d have been impressive. But no, it was all genuine.

“Well,” she spoke, her tone sarcastic, “How wonderfully fucking nice for you, that you guys patched things up.  You even have a new member, congratulations.  I guess everything’s back to normal for you freaks.”

“No…” Skitter spoke, and the bugs around her chirped, buzzed and droned to match the pitch and tone of her words. The villain hadn’t done that when the Undersiders attacked the fundraiser, she remembered.   Her voice was quiet, which only made it more eerie. The girl held out her hand, and Regent passed his scepter to her.

“…Things are different now,” Skitter finished.

It was just for like five or six updates, but I missed Skitter. I’m so glad to read what she’s doing, and how her first actions after her return to the story is all this. This is awesome.

Skitter used a tazer on Shadow Stalker, pretty much winning the confrontation. All Shadow Stalker can do now is...lie down, all limp and unable to move, knowing she’s at the Undersiders’ mercy.

Imp? Give me a hand with her upper body, take the other shoulder.

Imp, huh...so that’s the name for the new teammate. I’ll be waiting for an explanation about this, Mr. Wildbow!

The interlude ends with Shadow Stalker being carried away. I feel...a nice feeling of satisfaction. It’s almost cathartic. And this chapter shed some light on Shadow Stalker’s philosophies and thoughts, which is always nice. It doesn’t make her the slightest bit sympathetic, and I doubt Mr. Wildbow ever has the intention to try to make her look sympathetic at any point, which is something I’m glad about.

I enjoyed the Sentinel arc a lot. It was good to read about the Wards, how each one thought, the different personalities and how they coped with the current problems in Brockton Bay. I like that Weld and Flechette are currently part of the Wards. Parian is a character I hope to see again, although...since she’s a rogue and the Wards are the only ones with some sort of contact with her, I doubt she’ll be seen as much as she was during Flechette’s chapter. Oh well.

Mr. Wildbow also introduced the next big threat: the Slaughterhouse Nine. I suppose that’ll be the topic of the next arc or two, but the problem I have with that theory is that I don’t know how kidnapping Shadow Stalker would fit in such story. There must be something I’m not seeing, and it’s because I don’t know yet what the Undersiders have been up to. Once I find out, I may be able to have more or less an idea of what’ll happen.

But that’ll have to be for next time.

Next update: in three updates

[sweet-xoxo-thatcares]

Lesson I learned from you

1. Never fall in love somebody who’s already taken.

2. Never wait to see if somebody will change their mind to pick you.

3. Never hope that things will get better, because if it’s already shitty...its just gonna get worse.

4. Never lie and try to hide how much you care about someone. That shit will eat you alive until it festers and vomits out your throat.

5. Never consider having sex with someone and their wife, if really all you wanted was to selfishly keep the husband to yourself.

6. Never cheat in love, because if you cheat, you’re lying to yourself too about the foundation being solid. This shit ain’t like MyLittlePony mf. Love is hard. Its diligent. Its patient and kind.

7. Never fall for someone who told you “Don’t fall for me” or “Im and asshole.” Although this person may have insecurities, they’re most likely considering your time and patience by telling you the truth. These aren’t clues to make you find out why. These are warnings people. If they bluntly say that hurtfully truthful stuff about their character...they definitely mean it. Its not a pick up line for you to try harder to change their mind about how they see themselves. How people see themselves is a reflection of their character. Believe that.

8. Never tell a lie to a trusted friend, just to see if they’ll let you fit in. Lies can create mishaps. Especially when you have to lie to yourself to keep that lie as a fact in your dictionary of beliefs to believe in case they ask you, “are you lying?” just to make two lovely ass twins be you're girlfriends.

9. If a girl, boy, or they say they don’t want to be with you. Don't try to convince them otherwise. It wasn’t a chance for you to prove to them just how worthy you were. Real talk, if someone can't see it, you don’t have to buy them another pair of prescription glasses to see it. Move the fuck on. Im not kidding you. It’ll save you a lot of time and money.

10. Don't let no woman take you on the ring around the rosy. She knew she wanted you to let her go a long time. I bet she’s like finally like, YEA YOU DID IT! YOU FINALLY LET ME GO. It was probably just a phase any way to keep her sex affairs going without it looking too demanding in character.

11. Don't let no one abuse you, take advantage of you, or steal your heart away without permission. If it wasn’t meant to be. It just wasn’t meant to be. God wouldn’t let you get tormented and tortured just so you could get married to a crook who switches tags at Walmart’s self-chekouts. Read up on the meaning of true love.

12. Don't ever sustain no man/woman/person’s attempts to seek love elsewhere for their comfortability. Truth is, if it hurts you seeing them with other people, looking at other people, and flirting with people in front of your face. Don't continue to date them. Find somebody else. They probably still want to be single, but just haven't told you. Or they like to keep an insurance policy at the house just in case they change their mind about somebody...to keep their options open.

13. Never marry somebody or get engaged to someone just because you don't want them to walk away. Keeping a girl attached with statements and progressions of higher commitment, while still treating her like you’re single...DOES NOT make the relationship better. Its still the same bullshit as before if no one takes accountability for their actions and makes a steady to see the needs to create a change.

14. Don’t kiss nobody unless you actually mean it. Don't have sex with someone who you want a commitment with, unless they commit to you first. Truth is, you’re just handing vote-for-me cookies to your greatest “maybe” people. Cause’ if they weren’t your first choice, you’ll probably be their last one.

15. Never lower your moral standards just to keep someone happy. If they ask you to help cheat, say no. Its probably a warning that you’re too available to them. Especially if you know virtually interaction is getting too close to PG-13 its time to cut the conversation off.

16. Don't risk your life or your heart for somebody else’s attachment to you. If either of you feel like your life would end without the other, its probably just a misplacement in temperament. It’s cut short. Its short lived for a reason. It wasn't meant to last. God intended for us not to own our partners, but to experience our conjoined lives right beside them.

17. If you ever meet somebody that makes your clit or your dick get hard. It was probably just lust. Lust can feel like love to even the most brightest hearts. Im an empath. I should know. If you suffered from childhood trauma, someone’s touch can make you feel like its love if it makes you feel special.

18. It’s not the end of the world. You’re just not the one. They’ll be multiple partners who will make you feel just as great as they made you feel. Some will make you feel better to where you see stars, girl. Its just how you connect. If the person makes it known that they were just tryna “get some” from you, don’t fool with them if thats not all you wanted. Because what you agree to, they’ll be ok with just giving you less than what you wanted. If you wanna date, then date. If you want a hoe, then let that girl know “hoe, its just sex.” And ladies if you don't like being  treated like a bedroom girl, but you want an official, committed “claim-me-im-yours” relationship don't give him the access card...the key to your heart....to yo pussy. That’s bullshit minimum wage this motherfucka’ is tryna offer you. DONT TAKE HIS SHIT.

19. If you done be done. Don’t wait to see if it get better. Don't hold out because you afraid you aint gonna find better. If a man wanna be single, but keep you at home, thats false advertising, ladies. Because he's slutty outside, “but im, your bitch” at home....thats not loyal. He’s just got a place to sleep. Like a dog. A dog like that gonna come back home to eat his food, watch tv, and sleep with you. Then act like you don’t mind, because they don't care how their actions affect you. Thats called disrespectful.

20. Never feel obligated to stay. Leeeeaaaaaveeee that mf. If a person make you feel miserable, and trapped, WHY YOU STILL THERE? Oh, cause I love them and I know it can’t get any worse.....but look at what “your love” is doing to you. Got you attached to some ungrateful ass, unappreciative ass, low down dirty dog, who makes you feel better about it by kissing up on you. Thats not true love. Thats some toxic parasite/host shit. Some codependency will have your ass feeling trapped. Especially if they the wrong one.

Nobody said you had to compromise your happiness, your mental health, or your money for somebody’s else nastiness and addictions. 

21. DO NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH A NARCISISST> that bitch know how to trick daddy pimp yo’ ass into some “who the fool, wtf, Houdini type of shit. I am not fucking playing with you. And it be right when yo ass leave that they wanna change or offer some skittles out they last fucking pocket. ���Like damn this aint good enough for you?” 

“Hellll nahhhh, I said I wanted commitment, don't try to bargain lower than what I’m asking. DEAL OR NO DEAL.”

“I’ll suck yo titties and pee on your pusssy”

Mmmmm........(*breathes) 

(*internally screaming breaks Sith Lord mind tricks) 

NO. Gtfo Slytherin.