#and why with the zombie apocalypse was it like ''oh no we can't do anything until apollo comes over to help us or whatever''

[aroaceleovaldez]

actually in hindsight why did Rick repeatedly have Piper solve all the ghost problems on the Argo II when. Hazel was right there. A daughter of Pluto. who by all logic should be able to control ghosts even a little bit. like, we know she has at least some of those types of powers. she just never gets to actually practically use them. ever. and then when there are zombies Hazel once again. does not get to use her powers about it. what.

[zeltqz]

selfish | haitani ran

synopsis. haitani ran wants you, but can't have you because it would be considered selfish. content. 12k words (listen ik its long just hear me out..), fem!reader, friends to enemies to lovers, mild fwb situation gone wrong, ran's mother is in prison and gives shitty advice, implied sexual harassment (some creepy junkie, nothing happens though), mildly toxic ran, possessiveness, alcohol mentions, ran says hurtful things when he's drunk. NSFW content. authors note. this was inspired by an ask that i changed up a little because i LUV drama, so anon if you see this and recongise the plot creds to uuuuuuuuuuuuuuu for the idea!!!!

You were jolted awake by the violent buzz of your phone, muffled by your pillow. You groggily sat up, wiping your eyes and slapped around under your pillow for your phone. Carefully, you rolled to the far edge of your bed and answered. 

“Hello?”

“Come down. I’m outside.”

“Ran it’s…2 in the morning.”

“Just come. I want to talk to you.”

You slipped from your bed, yawning and grabbing your house keys on the way out. Once you were outside, the instant regret of not bringing a jacket hit you as you shivered from the cold. You were about to run back inside, but decided against it when you saw Ran’s car parked at the end of the road, the lights on and the windshield wipers actively wiping away the snow. 

You resisted the urge to dramatically slam the door shut when you got in the car. “There better be a zombie apocalypse happening right now if you think waking me up at 2 am was a good idea.”

“So I can only contact you when the world is ending?”

“At 2am, yes.” You leaned your head back against his car seat, mindlessly closing your eyes to savour onto the lingering signs of sleep. “Why’re you even here? I thought you were out of town.”

“I had plans.” He drummed his fingers along the steering wheel. 

“Like plans or ‘plans’?” His smile turned into a smirk and you grimaced. “Ew don’t touch me.”  He laughed playfully and gestured at your seatbelt. You put it on as he started the car, pulling out onto the main road. 

“So where are you taking me anyway?” you asked, plucking at a loose thread on your pyjama bottoms. 

“Nowhere in particular. Just driving around.”

“Cool. So why am I here then?”

“Wanted company. Is that so wrong?” 

You looked his way, wondering if he was being serious right now. “Why didn’t you call your brother then? Or literally anybody else.”

“Because I wanted to see you.” He glanced in your direction, seeing the stunned expression on your face that you quickly fixed when you realised he was staring. 

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah sure. Whatever.” You yawned and turned to the side to lean against the window. 

“If you’re tired you can sleep.”

“I don’t wanna fall asleep on you. That’s rude.” Another yawn. “I’ll manage it.”

“You hungry?” he asked, pulling up towards a late night fast food drive-thru across the street. 

“Kinda. Now that I think about it, I barely ate all day.”

“Don’t know how you do it honestly.” He was plucking at his baby hairs as he slowed the car to a stop. “Alright whaddya want.” 

You peeked past his body to look at the menu on the wall, the bright lights straining your tired eyes. “Literally anything. I don’t care.” He clicked his tongue and stared at you. You sighed. “I don’t want you to waste money on me.”

“Don’t stress,” he said, waving off your concern with a wave of his hand. You settled in your seat as he rolled down the window. You were distractedly scrolling on your phone to pass time as he spent the next five minutes ordering. 

Looking up, you saw he already had the bag of food on his lap, but instead of handing it to you, his arm is leaning against the window, smirking as he talks to the cashier working the drive-thru. She has her finger twirling her hair, leaning so far from the narrow window you’re surprised she hasn’t fallen out yet. 

“Hello?? Can we go?!” you snapped. 

“Oh, sorry.” The girl leered in your direction, taking you back momentarily before she fixed her features in time when she looked back at Ran. “It was nice meeting you,” she said softly, her voice lacking the same venomous tone she gave you earlier.

“Pleasure meeting you too. See you around beautiful.” You don’t know if he winked or did his signature smirk at her, but it was something of that nature because she had to fan herself to calm the redness on her face as his car began driving off.

You took the bag of food from his lap and ripped it open. “Do you really have to flirt with every girl you meet?”

“Someone sounds jealous.” You weren’t even looking in his direction but you could envision the shit eating grin of his face when he said that.

“I’m not jealous. I just know how to keep it in my pants and not go around flirting with every guy I meet.” You bit the packaging of the straw and poked it in your drink more aggressively than you intended.

“Have you maybe thought that’s because you just suck at flirting?” 

You almost choked on your drink with how quick you moved your head to face him. “I don’t suck at flirting!”

He snorted, taking one hand off the wheel to support his head as he leaned against the door. “Sureeeeeeeee.”

“Don't say sure like that.”

“Why not?”

“Because you don’t believe me!”

He shrugged. “I don’t.” He stopped the car at a red light. “Show me how you flirt then.”

You stared down at the food in your hands, contemplating if you should. When you looked up, you saw him already staring at you, waiting. “Fine.” You wiped your hands and set your food back down, putting it back in the takeout bag before shifting to face him on your seat. 

You cleared your throat, readying yourself to speak. The second you opened your mouth, it was like your mind blanked and you instantly closed it again. “This is too embarrassing. I can’t.”

“It’s only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing,” he responded back, shifting his attention back on the road when the light changed to green.

“No. I just know you’re going to laugh at me if I do it.”

“No I won’t.” He put a hand over his heart. “Scouts honour”

“You’re so ridiculous,” you grumbled but laughed nonetheless. “Okay, I’ll do it once we get home. I need time to prepare.”

Ran seemed to agree with that and in the fifteen minutes it took you to get home, you finished your food. He was parked outside your house across the street and you were idly sipping at your drink.

“Alright, ready?” He turned the engine off, leaving the radio still on.

“Wait this is my favourite song.” You inched forward to turn the volume up only to recoil when he slapped your hand away. “What the hell?!”

“Stop stalling.” He ignored the frustrated look on your face. “Show me already. I didn’t drive you here for nothing.”

“You shouldn’t have driven here at 3 in the morning anyway!”

“So ungrateful.” He pinched your nose with two fingers, laughing when you swatted him away. “Show meeee.”

“Okay fine! Fine!” You set your drink in the cupholder and turned to look at him. “I actually don’t know how to flirt.”

“Had a feeling.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Want me to teach you,” he asked gently, looking directly into your eyes. You found it hard to look away in that moment, like so much was riding on your answer. 

You nodded slowly. “Yeah… okay…”

“Alright. Guys love it when you’re confident and can hold eye contact. So hold eye contact as much as you can, but don’t stare like a creep. That shit’s weird. Show ‘em you’re engaged in the conversation when they’re talking about themselves and just stare into their eyes. Shit, that even gets me all fuzzy when a girl knows how to hold it. Had me stutterin’ and shit once.”

You blinked and envisioned a stuttering, flustered Ran in your mind. “Really? Eye contact? That’s all?” He shrugged and nodded. “That sounds really hard to believe honestly.”

“Really?” You nodded. “Reaaaally?” he repeated, extra slow, giving you enough time to back out when you have the chance.

“Yes. Reaaaaally Ran.”

“Tell me what you did today.”

You crossed your arms and looked up at the ceiling. “Well…I woke up this morning…I went to work, had lunch, worked until 4, then came home and studied.”

“In detail.”

“Is that really necessary?” you complained, but the look on his face was completely serious. Sighing, you settled back into your seat. “Okay so I went to bed late as fuck last night and I woke up at like 12 which was so bad because my shift started in fifteen minutes. So I wondered whether or not I should go and—”

“Look at me when you talk.”

You were about to slap him. You sighed and turned to look at him. 

“I went to back late last night and woke up at like…” Your mind blanked, and you struggled to find your words or remember what the hell you did hours ago with him looking so intently at you. “...11 ish? Which was—”

“You said it was 12, no?” he tilted his head, his stare unwavering.

You gulped. “Yes. Sorry. I woke up at 12 and my shift started at 12:15.” Your face burned. Just what the hell was wrong with you. In that moment, you felt like you were out of your own body, spirit you watching as you did nothing but blink uselessly at Ran. You fought the urge to slap yourself and ignore his slutty mind tricks. 

You looked down at your lap only to have him lift your face back to him with a single finger. “You’re not done with your story yet.”

“...right…right.” You cleared your throat again. He leaned forward, forearms resting on the steering wheel, locking his gaze on you. Was Ran always this hot? Surely you’ve noticed it before but not like this, where your mind is focusing only on him, and pushing all other stray thoughts out of the way 

You inhaled deeply and regained composure. “And I briefly considered whether or not I should go in late…but my boss has been kinda mean to me lately and…”

He raised an eyebrow, nodding as he studied your face, and urged you to continue when you stopped talking.

“...so I went in and finished my shift. My boss wasn’t too mad at me which was good I guess.”

“Then what?” His voice was purposefully different than usual, it was lower in that moment, throwing you off balance completely.

Your throat suddenly felt dry. “One second.” You grabbed your drink from before and began taking long sips from it, still feeling the intensity of his stare against the side of your face. Once you gulped half the drink down, you forcefully swallowed your burp, not wanting to ruin the weird, but heated atmosphere in the car with your natural bodily functions. 

“Then I went home to study for my exam on Thursday and fell asleep. Then your annoying ass woke me up and here I am.”

He laughed lightly, pulling back to return back to his seat. “How hard was that? Be honest.” His head rested back against the headrest, smirking at you. “Don’t lie now.”

You looked down at your lap, averting your eyes from his and refusing to make eye contact. You hated that you had to admit that it actually worked, his intense eye contact had actually effected you. He kept urging you until you persisted and you groaned inwardly. “Fine. It worked.”

“Seeeeee?” He jostled you playfully, and you smiled weakly. “I told ya. Anyway, want more advice?”

“There’s more?” Was the eye contact not enough? You didn’t even want to think how much power this man has. 

“Yeah. Say his name a lot. Drives me crazy when I hear a girl say my name.”

You snorted. “Sounds oddly narcissistic of you,” you retorted before you could catch yourself. “Sorry.”

“(Y/N),” he called your name in a deep, rumbling tone that had you internally shut down and log off. 

Once you came back, you grinned, impressed. “Wow…you’re good,” you admitted, subtly rubbing your hand along your arm to rid it of the goosebumps that seemed to sprout up whenever he spoke to you in that tone. “You’re actually a danger to society.”

“It’s fun making girls all flustered.” His hand rose to rest on your thigh. When you didn’t shrug it off or tell him to stop, his fingers began to caress softly against your skin. His touch felt electrifying, zapping through the fabric of your pyjama bottoms as he continued his actions.

“Something wrong?” he asked teasingly when he saw you struggle to control yourself, clenching your thighs together.

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“You’re not gonna tell me to stop?”

“No.”

“I see.” His thumb continued to stroke your inner thigh.

You don’t know what possessed you at that moment, but you grabbed his hand and placed it between your legs. He looked at you, confused and surprised at your sudden boldness. 

You pulled him closer, wrapping your arms around his neck, and whispered into his ear, “I can be seductive too, you know?”

Something in your words ignited a flame inside him, something primal and raw when your lips softly grazed down his ear. He turned his head to meet yours. 

“I’m sure you can be,”  he said softly, leaning in to kiss you gently. The kiss was only a soft press of his lips against yours, and your desire to want him to kiss you for real grew stronger by the second.

His hand moved down your body, helping you pass the console to straddle him. One hand slid down the back of his neck as you kissed each other hungrily, your tongue sliding out to meet his. He bit your bottom lip, gently sucking it while running his tongue along the inside of your mouth, slowly parting your lips with his. 

“Fuck,” you breathed out, pulling away to look down at him, resting your forehead against his. You went back in, and the kiss quickly turned heated, hungry and wild. “This doesn’t mean anything, right?” you asked, panting slightly.

He broke the eye contact to look down at his hands on your waist, sliding down to your hips and held you firmly in place, leaving no space between you. “Nah. Let’s just have fun.”

He cupped the back of your neck to bring you in for another kiss, your insides melting as your body temperature rose at the feeling of his rough hands working you over. He fumbled with the drawstrings of your pj bottoms until they loosened, slipping his hands inside, desperate to touch bare skin.

“No panties,” he grinned against your lips, giving you a peck when you flushed. 

“They’re uncomfortable at night…gotta let it breathe, you know?” you mumbled, looking down at his lap. 

He nudged your head up using his own and reattached his lips to yours. His hands continued to explore your body, roaming up and down your back, clutching at your waist. He placed his hand firmly on the back of your head, gilding your head movements into the kiss.

His thumb traced circles on the soft flesh on your hip as your mouth left his to plant open, wet kisses along his neck, teeth nipping and skimming when the radio thought it’ll be a wonderfully convenient idea to switch from the soft music it was playing earlier, to sudden heavy death metal, loud instruments and screaming booming through the car. 

You both jumped apart, your head smacked against the roof of the car, wailing as you winced when Ran started laughing. “It’s not funny!”

He doesn’t stop laughing because why would he, but he at least reached forward, your body on his lap following his movements as he turned the volume down.

“Why do you even have that on your playlist?!” 

“Rindou had a…phase. I hate it too, don’t worry.” 

You continued to rub the sore spot and pouted when you felt a headache blooming, already kissing goodbye to your good night’s sleep tonight. 

“Come here.” He smoothed a hand over the sore spot. “Better?”

“Kinda.” Your sour mood lessens and you start laughing, hiding your face in his shoulder. Your shoulders shook as you struggled to control your laughter. He laughed alongside you, his arms tightening around your body as he pulled you back against him. 

“That scared the living shit out of me,” you panted, finally catching your breath, kissing down the side of his neck. 

He turned his face to properly meet yours. You kissed him deeply, slowly rocking your hips with his as his strong hands squeezed tightly against your ass. After a while, you broke the kiss, your body now craving more than just kissing.

“Stop teasing me,” you complained, pushing him lightly on the chest.

“‘S fun seeing you so worked up,” he said with a shitty smirk, pressing a kiss to your neck. Your head lolled back as he steadily worked his way down the column of your throat, then down your chest.

His fingers bunched around the hem of your shirt, about to tug it off when you looked outside. The sun was still dark, but the promise of sunrise just around the corner as it rounded near 4 am. Obviously people wouldn’t be up and walking around this late, but the thought still made you stiffen.

“What’s wrong?” Ran asked, pausing with your shirt half way up your stomach.

“Can we go inside?” you asked, dragging the tips of your nails along the flat plane of his stomach. Despite having spent the last ten minutes making out with this man, the question implied more and your face burned when his eyes widened a bit. 

You looked down at your hands moving under his shirt, tracing patterns across his skin and bit down a giggle when he squirmed as you hit a particularly ticklish spot, poking his belly button. You took a mental note of that for later…

“You sure you wanna?” he asked carefully. You nodded. “Alright. Let’s go.” 

You quietly stumbled out of the car, holding his hand as you crossed the street to your house. You were fumbling with your keys, hard to find the keyhole in the darkness. It wasn’t helping your focus and accuracy with Ran behind you, fingers caressing your hips and waist, nipping at your neck. You let out a soft moan, giving up with your keys to lean your head back against his shoulder to give him more access before you quickly came to your senses.

“I need to open the door, go away,” you said with a huff, ignoring his laughter as you pushed him away. 

The door slammed shut and you locked it before pouncing on Ran, letting him press you up hard against the door as he hungrily devoured your mouth. His lips branded the soft skin of your neck as he dipped lower, carrying you to your bedroom. You were dropped mindlessly on your bed, bouncing from the impact as he hovered over you, your mind pleasantly blank as you focused solely on how badly you needed him right now.

His fingers slipped down your underwear and you saw stars.

~*~

As you were walking through the aisles of the grocery store, your music was interrupted by your phone ringing. You jerked your phone out from your jeans pocket to stare at the caller ID. Just a long string of numbers. 

“Who is this?” you asked suspiciously, racking your brain for a time you handed your number out to anyone you hadn’t saved.

“It’s Ran. What, forgot about me already?” 

Your mood immediately dampened and you clutched your phone tighter in your hand. “Why’re you calling me?”

“Easy with the hostility, man. I just wanted to talk to you.”

“And you couldn’t have done this, I dunno, in the two months you spent ghosting me? And don’t tell me “easy with the hostility”, I have a right to be fucking mad after you just hit and dipped like that.”

“Hit and dipped?”

“You ghosted me dumbass.”

You heard a loud exhale. “Right… yeah about that.”

“What do you want Ran?”

“I miss you.”

You almost forgot how to breathe. “Areyoufuckingkiddingmerightnow?”

“You heard me. I said I missed you.”

“Let me guess, there’s no other girls available right now, right? That’s why you’re bugging me?” It would be a wild accusation if not for the fact after that night you spent together, his phone buzzed incessantly, the constant vibrations waking you up and you saw notifications of girls in his inbox, sending him the usual “are you up?” text messages, followed up with images of themselves half naked.

He hummed. “Why would there be other girls? I’m talking to you right now.”

“Because you’re you.”

“Ok, but I’m serious though. I miss you a lot.” You found it so hard to give this man any sympathy.

“Well who’s fault is that? Nobody asked you to stop speaking to me after that night.”

“I know I know. I messed up. I just didn’t know how to approach you after that.” He sounded seriously stressed over this, and your face softened for a fraction of a moment before memories of you constantly checking your phone to see if he bothered to open your message yet reappear in your mind; just like that, your scowl is back, sympathy long gone.

“Right. Because THE Haitani Ran gets nervous after sex. Wow, shocker.”

“I mean, you were the best lay I ever had.”

Your traitorous heart stuttered without your permission, making your lips quirk up into a smile. “Really?” You cursed yourself for even entertaining his bullshit, and cursed your body even more for reacting in such a manner.

“Yeah, course you were.”

“Then why’d you ghost me? It’s like you want me to hate you. I swear to god for the life of me I’ll never under male logic.”

“It’s not male logic. ‘S just me, being a dumbass.”

“Yeah, no shit.”

“This was different though because we were friends before we fucked, and I didn’t wanna make things weird. I had no clue how to text you after that.” You guessed that made sense, having felt the same awkwardness the morning after waking up sore with him beside you. 

“Oh. Well, it’s only weird if you make it weird.”

“Right. So…can I make it up to you?”

“How?”

“Let’s hang out.”

“Like hang out or ‘hang out’?” Part of you wanted it to be the first one, not wanting to ruin anymore awkwardness in your friendship by sleeping with each other again. But the other part of your body already was hellbent on it being the second, already addicted to the way he makes you feel in bed. 

“The former. But,” his voice dropped lower, “it can also be the latter, if you’re down.”

“I’m down,” you said a bit too quickly for someone trying to seem indifferent.

“Cool. See you tonight then.” 

Before you could say goodbye, he was already saying hi to someone else, and then hung up. Any negative emotions you felt for him was tempered by the excitement buzzing through your limbs as you continued shopping for groceries with a dopey smile on your face, happy you were able to patch things up.

~*~

Time passes since you both agreed to this weird friends with benefits arrangement. All awkwardness is stomped on and thrown out the window, now more open to the matter. Months go by of you losing yourself in his sheets, of him mapping out your body with his tongue, latching his mouth onto your skin and marking you all over. Months go by of you craving his touch whenever you’re alone, picturing his voice in your ear, his presence caging you from above when you’re with other men. Months go by of you both making plans, with you, more than him, staring at your phone the entire day, starting the mental countdown to when you’re next able to see him. 

Life is good for Ran, until the day he dreaded the most every year rolls around. The day he has to visit his mother in prison along with Rindou. Their meet-ups are nothing more than an annual thing, visiting her on her birthday every year. 

“So what have you been up to this year?” she asked disinterestedly. 

Ran could see right through her, can see she’s started using again if the bloodshot eyes and the not so subtle way she rubs her nose were any clue. 

“Good ma,” Rindou responded. “I’ve took up DJ’ing in a few of Dad’s clubs in my free time.”

At the mention of her ex-husband, she sneered. Rindou rolled his eyes. “Are you gonna do that every time I mention him ma?”

“I’ll react however the fuck I want when you bring up that passed around, dried up whore of a man,” she snapped. Rindou doesn’t react, already used to her mood swings and aggressive comments about his father. She jerked her head over to her weirdly quiet son. “And you? What’s your deal?”

“My deal?” Ran asked, matching her levels of indifference. 

“What have you been up to,” she repeated slower, like he was dumb. 

“Nothing.”

“What? Your life is that shit you haven’t done anything for the past year? Nothing at all?” She stared at Ran who responded with silence and a blank stare. “Even I’ve done shit and I’m stuck in this hell hole.”

“Well whose fault is that?” Ran snapped back. Rindou slapped his forehead.

“Listen here you—”

“Ran’s been seeing a girl ma,” Rindou said quickly, hoping that small drop of information about his brother’s life was enough to diffuse a bad situation. 

“A girl?? Who?”

“Just some girl. You don’t know her and never will,” Ran grumbled.

“Is she…?” she gestured at him, at herself. He didn’t respond and she changed the wording of her question. “How did you meet?”

“She’s not involved in what we do ma. If that’s what you’re wondering.”

“Good.” She let out an exhale in relief. “And you make sure to leave her out of it.”

“What?”

She pointed her finger at him. “Don’t pursue this girl because you’re selfish and want to bring her in potential danger. Keep her around, fuck her or whatever it is you do in your spare time that you wanna keep a secret from me, but if you pursue her romantically then you’re a selfish piece of shit.”

Ran stiffened, his glare hardening in her direction. “Keep out of my goddamn business.”

“You know I’m right, Ran. That’s why you’re mad. Isn’t that right, Rindou?” She looked at her youngest son who looked tentatively between them both, staying stubbornly silent. She clicked her tongue and turned back to Ran. “You’d rather put this girl in danger because you can’t stand being alone by yourself. You’ve got issues, Ran. That’s why you haven’t had a relationship longer than 3 months. Correct?”

Ran stared down at the table, silent. 

“Do you care about her?” she asked and Rindou had no idea if he pictured it or not but it looked like she softened for a moment.

Ran didn’t respond, but nodded in slight movements. 

“If you truly care about this girl, you’ll leave her alone. It’s for her own good. Bringing her into your lifestyle is just selfish.”

“Times up,” The officer from the back of the room said, walking towards the table with handcuffs. 

She stood up and placed her hands behind her back. “Do the right thing, Ran.”

“How do you know that’s true though?” he asked.

“Speaking from experience. Look at me, suffering from the actions of your father. He brought me into this lifestyle, and I wasn’t prepared for it. So now I’m facing the consequences. You’re just like your father, Ran. An emotionally distant, sadistic, messed up man. Embrace it or don’t. Try to change or don’t. Either way I don’t care. Just don’t ruin others because of that nature.”

The officer tightened her handcuffs and locked them. “Let’s go,” he said, before escorting her out of the room.

Rindou looked at his brother with sympathy. “You okay?” His hand rose to rest of his shoulder but Ran stood up before he could make contact.

He shoved his hands into his pockets and turned around. “Let’s go.”

~*~

You weren’t sure what was going on with Ran but he seemed emotionally distant. He was no longer affectionate towards you when you both hung out, his response time was a lot slower than it used to be. When you had sex, he was totally fine though, which weirded you out because he would randomly do a complete 180 out of nowhere with the affection. 

“That was amazing,” you said panting as you collapsed back on the bed. Ran hummed in agreement, gathering you in his chest as you cuddled. You buried your face in his neck, the scent of his cologne heavy in your nose.

“I know,” he sighed, looking down and kissing your forehead. You smiled harder, fighting back the urge to giggle and use his warm body as a blanket.

You were playing with the tip of his braid, occasionally twirling it around the tip of your index finger when you decided now was the time to approach the topic that’d been brewing inside you the last few months.

“So…” you traced your fingernail across the spiral tattoo on his chest.

He looked down at you, a lazy smirk on his face. “So?” He kissed your forehead again.

You bit down on your lip and forced yourself to look into Ran’s eyes. “This might sound cliche, or cheesy or whatever but…”

“Doubt it,” he snorted, taking your hand off his chest and linking his fingers with yours, clutching your hand tightly. When you looked stumped for words, he nudged his shoulder, softly jostling you in the process. “What’s up?”

“Well…” God, this was harder than you thought it would be. 

You chewed the skin of your lips as you tried to calm your nerves before you exploded with anxiety. You nearly froze when he placed his thumb against your lip, tugging it free from its brawl with your teeth. 

Fuck it. “I just wanted to know…what are we…?”

It didn’t help your already racing nerves when he froze beneath you, and you swore you could feel the blood in his body stop flowing at that moment. 

He sat up abruptly, sending you sliding off his chest. You blinked uselessly at the muscled plane of his back, grabbing the sheets and clutching it towards your chest, your body deprived of the warmth his body provided earlier now making your limbs go cold.

He scratched his hair and sighed exhaustedly. “I gotta be honest with you.”

You barely found your voice as you softly said, “Go on.”

“I don’t want a relationship right now.”

“Oh.” You quietly cleared your throat, sitting upright and shifting backwards on your mattress until your back hit the headboard. “With me…or?”

“Anyone.”

“So…what was the point of this then?”

“I dunno? I mean I just thought you liked…” he gestured at the both of you, hoping you’d see where he was coming from. When you didn’t and just stared at him confused, he got more frustrated. “You know, this? What were we doing? I didn’t know you—” He sighed again and groaned. 

You felt like your throat was stuffed with cotton with how hard it was to breathe. “But I thought you liked me?”

“I do like you.”

“So then what’s the hold up?”

“Just because I like you doesn’t mean I have to be with you, okay? I’m busy all the fucking time and you’ll just be getting in the way of that,” he said curtly, not bothering to hide the clear frustration in his voice.

Hurt prickled across your skin, your ears felt full as you toned out everything he was saying. He turned to face you, those eyes of his that normally made you flush from head to toe now felt so cold and distant, like you didn’t know who the man in front of you was. 

“Just get out, Ran.” You choked back tears as they threatened to fall from your eyes, but you quickly looked away before they could. He’d seen you vulnerable beneath him many times, but this time was different. You couldn’t—no, you won’t allow him the satisfaction of seeing he made you this upset.

“No wait.” He reached out for you, his heart shattering when you pushed him away, sulking. 

He had a weird feeling in his chest, one that he wasn’t used to feeling, and instead of combating his emotions like a regular person, he discarded them  to the side, pretending they didn’t exist. He sighed exasperatedly and slid off your bed.

You moved to lay down, covering your entire body with your bedsheets as you heard him pack up his things. He silently changed and gently closed the door when he left. Once you heard your front door close, you sat up and wiped your tears, grabbing your phone from your dresser. 

The next few hours were spent watching youtube videos, laughing softly at the comments people left. It made you feel less useless about yourself and tried to desperately take your mind off what just happened prior. Honestly, you blame yourself for even bringing it up. It wasn’t worth ruining a two year friendship over.

Sure, it’s normal to catch feelings for a guy that treats you nice, isn’t selfish in bed and actually takes his time to account for your needs. That doesn’t mean you’re romantically interested in him though, right? Guaranteed it could’ve been any other of your friends, like Sanzu or even Mikey and you would’ve developed those same feelings, right? 

Before you had any time to digest that topic deeper, a text message notification popped up on your screen.

Ran: ok so that was awkward before. Can we talk this over properly?? I dont want to ruin what we had honestly. It…was a mistake to start sleeping together i know. We both had different intentions and i apologise if I sent you mixed feelings. Your friendship is something I value a lot and I don’t wanna lose that. So can we start over??? Just be friends this time? 

You: sure i guess. Sorry if i made things uncomfortable earlier.

Ran: ur good. Ill see you later then?

You: yeah okay

You and Ran had fought many times over the course of your friendship, and each time you both were able to move on like nothing happened. But this time, it just felt different. You felt it.

~*~

“You know it’s 3 in the morning right?” Sanzu rubbed his eyes, yawning obnoxiously. “I mentally check out from 2-10am.” 

“Shut up.” You dig around in his pocket and pull out a box of cigarettes. “Give me a lighter.”

“Since when do you smoke?” he asked, then tacked on, “Oh and I don’t have one.”

“Then why do you have a box of cigarettes then?!” 

Sanzu blinked at your sudden outburst. “Okay first. Calm down. Inside voices, we’re outside right now.” You fought the urge to point out how contradictory it was to use your inside voice outside but let it slide. “Secondly, why are you acting so…”

“So what?” 

“You know…” he looked carefully at you, trying to gauge your reaction if he were to say the words he truly wanted to say.

“If you’re about to say bitchy save it.”

“I wasn’t!”

“Then what were you going to say?” you raised your brow, waiting. He slowly closed his mouth and looked down at the floor in defeat. “Exactly,” you said triumphantly, then exhaled softly and looked around the street for any convenience stores that sell lighters.

“So can I ask why you suddenly want to smoke?”

“I’m stressed out okay?” You began walking towards the 24 hour convenience store across the street, Sanzu following behind you. “I sort of, maybe not, confessed to Ran earlier and he wanted to stay friends. So now I don’t think I can handle being in the same room as him without wanting to die.”

Sanzu yawned again, scratching his eye. “That sucks. I dunno what that has to do with me though.”

“I need company! I feel like I’m going to explode if I’m alone with myself tonight.”

 The bell chimed when you both entered the store, instantly heading over to the counter to buy the lighter. The cashier went to the back to grab the lighter.

“All I’m hearing is that you missed me,” Sanzu teased, wrapping his arms around you from behind. He was expecting you to push him off like you normally do. He definitely was not expecting you to chuckle, hug him back and mildly not in agreement. 

He backed away dramatically, narrowly avoiding stumbling into a display shelf and tapped your shoulder to get your attention. When you turned around, he kept staring gingerly at your face, causing you to raise your eyebrow.

“What?”

“Who are you and what did you do to my friend?”

You scoffed and rolled your eyes, pushing him away from you. The cashier handed you the lighter and you paid him, leaving the store with Sanzu behind you. Grabbing the box of cigarettes, you lit one up and exhaled for the nth time tonight.

“Do you think it’s normal for a guy to just be friends with a girl they used to have a thing with? Or if it’s normal for them to be friends with girls they know like them?”

Sanzu shrugged. “Are you asking the opinion of all men or just Ran? Because nobody knows what that guy is thinking when it comes to women. He’s way too comfortable around girls so probably? I mean, it’ll be in the back of his mind, sure, but as long as you’re not awkward around him it’ll be fine.”

“You sure?”

“Guess we’ll have to see.” He pulled the cigarette from your mouth and dropped it on the floor, stubbing it out with his foot. At your shocked face, he held his hand out. “I don’t want you taking on bad habits because you’re having an emotional meltdown.”

You huffed and crossed your arms over your chest. “I’m not having an emotional meltdown.”

“Sure…” He yawned for the fifth time tonight. “If I stay out any longer I’m going to pass out on the street. I’ll see you later, okay?” He pat you on the head, deliberately ignoring your complaint of “don’t fuck up my hair” and made his way home.

~*~

In the time you spent avoiding anything Ran related, that also meant avoiding people and situations that he was guaranteed to be there. It meant you stop hanging out with your mutual friends in groups, stopped going to parties you knew he was hosting. Was it bad your other friendships had to be jeprodized because you were too scared to confront your newfound, fresh start with Ran? Yeah, it wasn’t your proudest moment either. But it also meant you were spending a lot more time with Sanzu and Mikey. Out of everyone in his gang, they were the least close, only talking to each other with work related issues. Sanzu and Ran had this unspoken hatred with each other, that made the two of them avoid each other at all costs, not wanting to start another argument or fight.

That was great news for you because it would mean no impromptu visits, like the incident at Hanma’s house, or no unexpected calls from Ran like when you were hanging out with Kakucho, or no fear that Ran would be upstairs in his room when you were hanging out with Rindou. 

Hanging out with Sanzu more often also meant getting closer with Senju. She’s two years younger than you and you treated her like a little sister. It was her birthday next weekend and Takeomi was in charge of the planning the surprise birthday party, which meant nobody had a single clue who was coming.

If that were the case, you wouldn’t have shown up that day. 

“Ran. Are you going to Senju’s party?” Takeomi asked, exhaling cigarette smoke over the phone.

“Do I have to? I don’t know that girl.”

“I don’t care what you do. Just tell me so I can start planning her shit.”

“Depends honestly. Who’s going?”

Takeomi started listing off the names which included some of Senju’s college friends that Ran didn’t care about, some of their mutual friends like Sanzu (duh), Mikey, Kakucho, you, Rindou—wait, hold up.

“Wait, (y/n)’s going?” Ran cut Takeomi off mid sentence.

Takeomi grunted. “Yes.”

“Fine. I’ll go.” He hung up before Takeomi could say anything. Honestly Ran couldn’t care less about Senju, his only motivation was the thought of seeing you.

The fact he sent you that message, hoping it’ll mend whatever dent was placed in your friendship, only to get slapped in the face when you spent the last four months avoiding him pissed him off to no extent. He wasn’t blocked, he knew you wouldn’t do that to him, but he didn’t have the courage to check either. Maybe this party would be the perfect time to talk to you, to catch up and mend until he could selfishly hold you in his arms again. 

He didn’t spend the whole four months pining over you, the group of girls in his bed would confirm that, but there was an unknown feeling in his chest, something always wriggling at the back of his mind that he knew distantly was caused by you. It was getting annoying, having his shitty mother’s words ringing in the back of his mind every time he thought about making up with you. It took him about three months to realise that he actually loved you, whether that was a fact he wanted to accept or not. That feeling he was deliberately avoiding, was his conscious telling him to stop self sabotaging himself and just tell you how he feels.

He can’t wait to see you next Saturday.

~*~

When Ran says he knew nothing about your life in the last four months it wasn't an exaggeration. He genuinely had no idea who you were with, what you were doing, where and when. So you could only imagine his shock when he sees you’ve somehow become best buddies with Manjiro and fucking Sanzu, the idiot currently sitting between your legs on the floor as you braided his hair. 

You looked so pretty tonight, dressed up semi formal. Your hair and makeup was done in a way that Ran had never seen you in before. Senju sat beside you, talking loudly and making you laugh. Sanzu scrolled on his phone, waiting for you to finish his hair. Mikey sat next to you, his head resting on your shoulder as he looked like he was on the verge of sleep.

If you noticed him come in tonight, you sure hid it well, not even bothering to acknowledge his existence. He was planning on talking to you after Senju blew out her candles, that was until he saw what he did. 

After a load of drinks, everybody was pretty tipsy, including you and Manjiro as you both made out in the patio, his hands caressing your thighs as you sat sideways on his lap. The patio was filled with Senju’s friends in the pool, the smell of barbecue (requested by Senju) filling the air as people hovered around the grill, desperate for some savoury meat. It was hard to see you and Manjiro at first, but he did, as if his eyes were automatically drawn to you no matter where in the room.

Granted he had no right to feel the way he did, he knows that, and his words from that night constantly play on loop in his mind. He told you he wanted to be just friends and you agreed to that, and friends don’t get mad at friends for having relationships. But his boss of all fucking people? He wouldn’t give this much of a fuck if it was Shion or something.

“Drink up bitch!” Sanzu shoved a cup into Ran’s hand, resting his arm on the taller boy’s shoulder as he watched Ran grimace at the beverage.

“The fuck is this supposed to be?” 

“Dunno honestly. Just mixed a bunch of shit together.” Sanzu clinked his cup with his. “You’ll probably wake up tomorrow with memory loss and severe liver damage, but bon appetit.”

“I’m not drinking your mystery drink.”

“Boo. No fun.” Sanzu pouted, taking a big gulp of his drink.

“Why are you even talking to me?”

“Because you look like you’re about to kill somebody and as much as I relate to that feeling, I don’t want any drama on Senju’s birthday. She’ll never shut the fuck up about it. So drink up and enjoy the party dude.” He lifted the cup to Ran’s lips which stayed stubbornly closed until he gave in, making a face as it burned down his throat.

“See! It’s not so bad!” Sanzu slapped his back before walking away, ready to hand out samples of his new drink to random people. 

Fifteen minutes later and whatever Sanzu poured in that drink did wonders, Ran couldn’t help but admit. He got over his sour funk sooner than he’d thought. The liquor running through his veins made him socialise a hundred times better and managed to snag five pretty girls’ numbers tonight. He was currently leaning against the wall, hovering beside this girl he couldn’t remember the name of for the life of him (it wasn’t his fault, he blames it on Sanzu), as she tilted up to whisper provocative things in his ear. She looked like she’d be good in bed, and that was all Ran was thinking about when he saw your hair bounce past him.

Ran looked just in time to see you disappear through a doorway, and he abruptly pulled himself away from the girl before him. “I’ll be back in a sec. Just…do whatever,” he said, not even looking at her as he walked away. 

When he rounded the corner, his stomach did backflips as he saw you yell something to some people inside a room down the hallway before turning around. You almost recoiled when you saw Ran and mentally cursed the fact there was no objects, or people you could hide behind.

You pressed your lips into a wry smile and tried to walk past him before he grabbed your arm, stopping you. “What, so you’re not talking to me at all now?”

“Okay, calm down. It’s been like four months.”

“Which is a long time?” His phone lit up in his hand, a text message of a girl asking where he is with a string of sad faces emojis, and to add fuel to the fire, a tongue and water splash emoji. Ran clicked his tongue and made a mental note to block her when he’s done with this. 

You scoffed. “Sorry I hadn’t been able to entertain you these last four months, Ran. I just assumed girls 1 though 56 had it handled for me.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean,” he said curtly, shoving his phone back in his pocket.

You looked up at him, mouth in a thin line as you hissed, “Exactly how it sounds. Now I have somewhere to be.” You tried to skirt past him but he blocked your way out. He suddenly felt too big, too close, and your simmering temper was beginning to surface. “Ran seriously move.” You tried pushing his chest, but it didn’t work.

“Why? So you can go back to sucking face with Mikey?” Shut up…please, just shut up, sober Ran was yelling inside his head, but the words just came out before he could stop them. Note to self, never drink anything from Sanzu ever again. 

“Sucking face? Why are you…why do you even care?! You’re the one that said “I don’t want a relationship right now” so you don’t get a right to act all possessive over me and shit. Just because you’re too emotionally stunted to maintain a goddamn relationship, doesn’t mean everybody else is like that.” Your chest burnt with anger at his fucking audacity. Seriously, who does he think he is?

“What, so you want a relationship with Mikey, that it? Someone’s who is even more emotionally stunted than everybody in this fucking party combined?”

“And if I do? Is that your business? Whatever my decision is, it’s not up to you. Now get out of my way.” You leaned in close to his face as you glared up at him. His anger gave way into something more heated that made him lick his lips, wondering how you’d react if he were to kiss you right now.  You were about to attempt to walk away when Kakucho stumbled out of one of the rooms in the hallway, slightly tipsy.

“What’s going on? Why are you yelling?”

“Kakucho. Get your boy and tell him to leave me the fuck alone.” You pointed at Ran who snapped out of his stupor.

“Ran, let her leave.”

“Not till I get my answers.”

You pinched your temples, not even bothering to lower your voice as you yelled in sheer frustration, “What answers Ran?! I don’t owe you shit!”

“What’s going on?” Mikey stumbled out of the room you were exiting earlier and his arm instantly found itself on your waist. You were still seething, your heavy breathing only calming down once Mikey’s hand curled a little more around you, pulling you flush against his side.

“Nothing. Let’s go,” you said softly to Mikey, letting him lead you back to the room.

Ran’s anger returned tenfold upon seeing your hand hold Mikey back. “Since when are you two such good friends?”

“That’s none of your damn business,” you yelled back from the end of the hallway, your grip around Mikey tightening significantly.

“Don’t tell me you’re fucking him now? What is he your new boy toy? You’re that desperate?” 

Kakucho slapped a hand on his forehead, regretting not pulling Ran away before he had the chance.

You froze at the door, turning to look at him. In the years of your friendship with Ran, he’d seen you get angry many times, yelling at characters in movies when they do something stupid, yelling at him over the mic when you were playing video games. And in every one of those instances, he was never on the receiving end of your anger. The look you gave him, if it could, would’ve turned him to stone with how irate you looked right now. Dimly, he knew what he was doing was wrong, and if he was sober enough he would've definitely stopped himself from saying those things, but he was hurt, and angry, and those two combinations had him feeling like he had a right to make you feel the same way.

“I’m sorry, what?” You stepped out of Mikey’s grip. “Oh this is fucking rich. The irony right now, holy shit!” You began laughing. “If what I’m doing is considered “desperate” to you, then what does that make you? Pathetic? Huh? Needing fifty girls attention on you every second of every fucking day doesn’t seem desperate to you?”

Your loud laughter began to draw people in the party towards the hallway, interested in the loud argument going on. Kakucho grabbed Ran’s arm, shaking his head as if he could read his thoughts. “Don’t respond. Let’s just go.”

Ran shoved his hand off him, sending Kakucho back against the wall. “Nah I’m gonna respond.” He turned back to you, uncaring of all the eyes watching the scene take place. “You stay bringing up these girls in every single conversation I have with you and shame them like you weren’t proud to be one of them months ago.”

Your eyebrows rose in surprise. “So that’s all I was? A number to you? Enlighten me Ran, what number was I? 34? 52?”

“What fucking difference does it make if you know.”

“It makes no difference. I just want to hear you say it.” You closed the distance between you both and poked a finger into his chest. “I wanna hear you say that you enjoy ruining girls lives by making them fall for you with your shitty words and affection, then running away the second things get serious because you’re a coward afraid of stability.”

He pretended your words didn’t cut as deep as they did, pretended your words didn’t take him back to his mother’s birthday all those months ago, sitting at that table and listening to her spew hot garbage in his face about his personality and issues that he refused to acknowledge.

“That wasn’t the case with you. I didn’t tell you to fall for me.”

“That wasn’t the case? So I’m somehow different? How so?”

“Because—” Even in his drunken mind, he knew telling you he loved you now would only pull you further away than you already were. He pressed his lips in a thin line, and looked away from your oppressive stare. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Because your reasoning doesn’t exist, Ran. Stop searching for nothing. You’re a shitty person and you need to acknowledge that.” You pulled your finger away from his chest and turned around, lowering your voice to almost a whisper. “Now just stay out of my life.” 

He didn’t say anything and only watched you approach Mikey again, the man not even bothering to look at Ran the entire time as he took you inside the room, closing it shut. Ran’s ears were burning and his chest clenched as he realised the gravity of what he’d just done. So much for making amends. 

You went home and instantly blocked his number and cried yourself to sleep that night, regretting even messing with him to begin with.

~*~

“Are you sure this is safe?” you asked, looking around the strange alleyway surrounding you. 

“Don’t be a fucking wuss! Besides, I can fight remember? Nobody’s touching me tonight.”

“Yeah but…underground clubs are scary.”

“I know but that’s what makes this so exciting! Come on, let’s go!” She held your hand firm and tightly in her hand, giving you a reassurance squeeze that did nothing to help calm your raging nerves. 

“Imagine your brother finds you here tonight,” you laughed.

“Oh fuck. Takeomi would probably lock me in a house with no contact to the outside world for years,” Senju responded, shivering at the thought. She led you down the stairs and opened the janky door, leading you inside the club.

The rest of the night proceeded as follows, Senju getting drunk out of her mind; she nearly passed out on the floor from dancing too much, and you guarded the drinks, making sure nobody gets roofied tonight. This club was known for being shady, with drug transactions being held in the bathrooms of this place, and not just regular drugs, hardcore drugs. You had to use the bathroom and decided holding your pee in was much better than relieving yourself in a bathroom that had a woman passed out on the floor after taking too much drugs.

It was scary, and you had your guard up every second, and only felt relieved when you were carrying Senju outside, back through the alleyway to call for a taxi home. “It was soooooo much fun today. I loved it,” she slurred as you picked her up, struggling to hold her upright. 

“Yeah yeah I know. You told me this fifty times already,” you laughed lightly. “Come on, help me a little bit. I can’t carry you all the way, you’re too heavy!”

“I can’t feel my legs~”

“Oh for fucks sake.” You set her agaisnt the wall and caught your breath. You pulled out your phone and decided you had no other choice. You were calling her brother. 

“Who are you calling?” she asked after hearing the phone ring.

“Your brother.”

All traces of alcohol left her body as she practically screamed, “YOU’RE CALLING MY BROTHER?!”

“Relax! It’s Sanzu, not Takeomi. I considered Sanzu would be more understanding about this. It’s not like he and Omi are on speaking terms anymore.”

“Yeah but…”

“It’ll be okay, I promise,” you reassured her, patting her head.

“Hullloooo?” Sanzu’s voice rang through the speakers and you instantly perked up. 

“Sanzu! Hey! We kinda need your help right now.”

“‘M sorta busy right now. Is it urgent?”

“Senju’s kind of passed out right now and I need help taking her home. I can’t do it myself.”

“Senju’s WHAT?!” Takeomi’s voice boomed through the phone; Senju shivered in fear. 

“Sanzu! Why’d you put me on speaker phone you idiot!”

“So I can hear you better! Nothing’s wrong with that!”

You groaned and slapped a hand over your face, whispering sorry to Senju who looked like she was already planning her funeral. 

“Where are you guys right now?” Takeomi asked, sounding positively furious.

You gulped, Senju rapidly shaking her head no no no no. “We’re at this club…” you admitted, giving him the address.

“Wait, that club?” Sanzu perked up. “That place is like known for hardcore ass shit bro. Don’t tell me Senju took anything from there?”

“...she did.”

“Ah shit. Yeah, okay. Coming. It’s really close from here Takeomi. Don’t worry, lets’ go.” He turned his attention back to his phone. “You two. Stay right there—”

“You girls look pretty lonely by yourself.” The three of you froze as a deep voice spoke from behind you. You felt time pass in slow motion as you turned around to look at a guy waiting by the club’s backdoor. 

“We’re not lonely,” you said slowly. “Thanks for your concern though.”

Senju stood up on shaky legs and clutched onto your arms when she felt his stare on her body. “Yeah, we’re fine.”

“Who is that?” Sanzu asked from the phone.

“I don’t know,” you whispered back, clutching the phone tightly.

“Seriously don’t move. We’re heading out right now. All of us, okay?”

“Okay okay.” You had no clue who “all of us” meant, but you didn’t care, not when the guy slowly stepped away from the wall and began walking towards you both. You missed Sanzu calling for Ran to come in the car with them, your attention solely focused on this strange man in front of you.

“How old are you girls?” he asked, not even bothering to hide the shameless way he was gazing you both up and down.

“It’s none of your business,” Senju spat, slowly stepping back when he began walking forward. 

“It’s rude to not answer a question.”

“It’s even ruder to ask personal questions to strangers!”

“Senju, stop. You’re provoking him.” You squeezed her arm roughly, digging your nails into her arm.

“I don’t care! I hate men like him that think they’re entitled to us!”

“Men like me, huh? Go on, babe. Enlighten me on men like me.” 

“Senju just ignore him,” you whispered, panic filling you when you looked down at  your phone to see Sanzu had already hung up. “Sorry but we really have to get going,” you said to the man, bowing slightly before grabbing Senju’s hand and beginning to walk away from him.

You could hear his footsteps behind you and began walking faster until the point where you were running away towards the end of the alley. The end of the alley seemed so far away with how small your vision was as you panicked hearing him begin to run after you. Senju was a faster runner than you and grabbed your hand tightly, leading the way as you both bolted as fast as you could. 

“Stop running girls! I just wanna touch you!” he screamed out, laughing obnoxiously. He was clearly high on something.

Senju bumped into the chest of Takeomi at the end of the alley, and the man came to stop upon seeing Sanzu exit the car, a manic smile on his face.

“You wanna touch my sister huh?” Takeomi gritted out.

“Wow, uh I didn’t mean for—I didn’t know she was—” 

Sanzu walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “I think we should have a little chat, huh? Come with me.” He had this strangely friendly smile on his face that sent shivers down your spine. 

Your heart was beating out of your chest and you barely heard Takeomi telling you both to get in the car. He and Sanzu stayed behind and taught the man a lesson, and Senju slipped in the back, taking up all three seat as she laid down, exhausted.

You had no choice to sit in the front seat. The windows were tinted so you didn’t see Ran until you opened the door. You blinked uselessly at him, fingers tightening against the handle. “What are you doing here?”

“Saving your stupid ass, that’s what. Now get in.”

You swallowed whatever retort you had because he wasn’t lying, and as much as you shouldn’t a part of you felt relieved to see a familiar face after that incident. You slipped in the front seat and slammed the door behind you, putting your seatbelt on and looking straight ahead.

Ran got the order from Takeomi to take Senju home first and so he began driving towards the Akashi household. Senju was dead to the world in the backseat, drooling partially on the seat as the fatigue from running finally hit.The two of you sat in silence the entire ride, and Ran exited the car to put Senju inside once they arrived. He locked the door behind him and re-entered the car to see you facing the opposite way, staring out the window.

No other words were said as he dropped you back at your house, and you were surprised you both said nothing to each other the entire time. After sitting in silence outside your house for a while, Ran finally broke the silence.

“Are you fucking stupid?” Ran scolded. “What made you think coming to an underground club was a good fucking idea?”

“Oh sorry, I was just playing the role of the dumb desperate slut that can’t keep her legs closed. Sorry if I gave you a fright.”

“Listen to me,” he said sharply, making you snap your mouth shut. “You could’ve died tonight if we weren’t here tonight you know that? That place you went to, that’s not for girls like you. Not for girls like Senju either. I don’t know what fucking possessed you to be acting this fucking recklessly, but I just hope you know what you experienced tonight was a wake up call. You aren’t built for this goddamn lifestyle, so stop trying to act like you are.”

“...you’re right. I’m sorry, Ran.” You looked down at your lap when the tears started to drop from your eyes. “Tonight was so scary, I genuinely don’t know what would’ve happened if you weren’t there.”

Ran sighed and you kept sniffling as you heard his door open before slamming shut. You watched him round the car and open it on your end. “W-what are you—”

He carried you out of the car, your legs wrapping around his waist as he kicked the door closed behind him, walking up to your front door. He set you down on the ground and held his hand out. “Keys.”

You swallowed and reached inside your purse, pulling them out and into his hand. He unlocked your front door and once again carried you inside, locking the door behind you. He led you upstairs to your bedroom and set you down on your bed. 

You watched in confusion as he walked over to your chest of drawers and began searching for your pyjamas. Once in hand, he tossed them next to you on the bed, and then walked into your ensuite bathroom. You heard him turn the shower on.

“Get changed and come in here,” he said from the bathroom.

You stripped out from your dress and entered the bathroom, not even bothering to cover yourself in his presence, nothing he hasn’t seen before anyway. He was in the midst of taking his shirt off when you stepped into the shower, the warm water running down your body as you waited for him to join you.

You stared at your feet when he grabbed your soap, placing some on his hand before lavashing your body with soap, rubbing them along your arms and sides. 

“What are you doing Ran?” you finally asked as he bent down to wash your legs.

“What I should’ve done months ago.” His tone left no space for a remark from you, so you stayed silent and let him do what he had to you. Once you were washed clean, he turned the shower off and stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel and wrapped it around your body. “Go and get changed.”

“You need a towel too. I’ll go get one.” You quickly towelled yourself dry before stepping out, returning with an unused towel from your storage. “Here.”

“Thanks.”

You entered your bedroom and got changed into the clothes he picked out for you, then handed him some clothes of his you kept when he used to sleep over all those months ago. You sat on the bed and listened to him change. 

“Are you going to sleep over?” you asked, looking up at him.

“You want me to?”

You nodded slowly, getting into bed. He followed you, giving you some space as he laid down beside you. He had his back facing you, turned away from you and you frowned at the lack of attention.

“...Ran?” you tested, seeing if he was asleep or not.

“What?”

“Why don’t you want me?” you whispered, remembering the last time you were in your bed together. 

“Because I don’t deserve you,” he responded, voice flat and devoid of any emotion.

“Huh?” you asked, confused.

He turned around and looked at you, your eyes glossy with fresh tears. “I uh. I spoke to my mom a few months ago.” Your eyes widened, knowing the estranged relationship he has with her. Why didn’t he tell you this?

“I spoke to her and she uh, gave me a fucking reality check.”

“What did she say?” You shifted closer, close enough that you could see and finally notice the eyebags under his eyes, like he hasn’t had a good night sleep in time, which was strange for Ran as he savours sleep more than anything else in the world.

“A lot,” he sighed exhaustedly, rubbing a hand over his forehead. “Said I was a lot like my old man. That was I was emotionally stunted, sadistic, and a downright shitty person.” His chuckle was so emotionless, you almost reached out and hugged him, but stayed still as he wasn’t finished talking. “Worst thing was she’s right. I can’t savour relationships for my fucking life and when I actually felt something for the first damn time, I fucked things up and ruined it. Nobody else did that. I did. I’m responsible for that shit. I don’t wanna bring you down and you deserve better than me, whether you wanna admit that shit or not.”

He took a moment and you were unsure if you should respond or not. When you were about to, he continued. 

“She told me I’d ruin your life if I pursed you. Told me I was being fucking selfish. Can you believe that shit? And you know what, I fucking believed her. I thought I would do that, that’s why I pushed you away. I wanted you all to myself which is why I continued sleeping with you, which was wrong of me I know, but you seemed happy which is why I didn’t think much of it. Then you had to go fuck with my goddamn head and tell me you wanted me too.”

“...sorry,” you whispered, feeling the breath sweep out from your lungs.

“It’s not your fault, dummy. It’s mine. I—In that moment I should’ve been selfish. I know I should’ve, and every fucking day I regret not doing that shit. But as usual I fucked things up again, then you were gone. I thought we could still be friends so I could at least see you again, but nope. You distanced yourself from me.”

Another tear fell from your eyes, wetting your pillow the longer you heard him talk. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologising. You did the right thing. Keeping you as a friend would’ve been selfish of me. You clearly distanced yourself because you wanted to get over me, but I wanted you all for myself and wanted you in my life at all times, even if that wasn’t what you wanted. Once again, proving my ma right. I’m fucking selfish. Then that stupid party happened and just seeing you with Manjiro made me want to lose my shit. The fact that I wasn’t able to have you because as a guy living this type of lifestyle, it would be considered selfish. But yet Mikey was? How come he was allowed to be selfish and I wasn’t?”

“It’s not selfish Ran,” you finally got a word in. “I didn’t even like Mikey like that. We were just drunk and horny. I never dated him. In fact, I hadn’t dated anyone since I was with you. Nobody else made me feel the way you made me feel and it was selfish of me to want you when you didn’t want me back at that time. We’re allowed to be selfish Ran. Don’t let that stop you from getting what you want.”

Ran’s eyes were wide as he listened to you talk. When you finished, he shook his head. “My level of selfish and yours aren’t the same. In my world, if you’re vulnerable it can get you killed, or put in a bad situation where you have to take a live, or have yours taken. You don’t need to be involved in that. That’s why I can’t be selfish.”

“But—”

“No. Buts. Go find a nice accountant to date or whatever. You don’t need me tying your life down.”

You frowned. “I don’t want an accountant though.”

“Why not? You always said you wanted to marry rich.”

You shifted closer, flush against his. “I never said it had to be good money though.” You pressed a kiss to his cheek.

He looked down at you. “You’re fucking crazy,” he said with a light laugh, and you were happy you were able to break the ice.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulder, pulling him closer till your noses touched. “You love it though.” 

“Damn right I do.”

[murdrdocs]

OH OH zombie apocalypse!luke just triggered something in me. cause imagine luke taking on the protector role with annabeth after everything goes to shit, and him encountering you and percy (and you almost knocking him out with a bat) in a deserted city…… oh the brainworms are worming alright — 🍒

slight gore (zombie killing); fem!reader

you still have the bat raised over your shoulder and aimed for the boy. there's a girl behind him, shorter, younger, maybe percy's age, but she watches you with eyes as watchful as her protector. she analyzes you, probably taking in the scars on your arms and the dried blood splattered along the metal of your bat. if they try anything to hurt you or percy, you won't be afraid to add their blood to the collection.

"what d'you guys want?" when percy speaks with venom in his voice, you aren't shocked one bit. you spare a glance his way and find him standing next to you instead of behind, one hand clasped around the hilt of his sword and the other twitching with anticipation.

he looks at you. slow down, you try to tell him.

you don't know if you interpret his look right, but if you do it says: speed up.

"hey, take it easy."

the words of the stranger in front of you removes you and percy from your hard stares. the boy's words are understanding, they're similar to your thoughts, but his hand—the one not holding a large duffle bag that whispers your name—wrapped around the hilt of a still-sheathed sword and the look in his eyes contradict any pacifism. the girl behind him has a similar look but more calculating, as if she's planning an escape route here and now.

"we don't want any trouble," the boy continues.

you can hear percy's eye roll in his words. "yeah, sure you don't."

"look, why don't you take the hand off of the sword and we can both go our separate ways." your suggestion is simple and falsely diplomatic. you know they won't go for it in the same way you wouldn't go for it.

it's surprising whenever the boy removes his hand from his weapon.

the girl behind him scoffs. you can't see her holding anything, but there is no way she isn't armed. not with a look as deadly as that.

"you're the ones holding weapons. shouldn't we be telling you that?"

before you or percy can respond, the boy does.

"annabeth," he says her name in a warning, his arm reaching out and shielding her body. even though the gesture presents itself as him protecting her from you and percy, you can't help but feel like it's the opposite. "chill. just do what she says."

annabeth's hand comes into view.

"and ..." percy hesitates and in the space filled you know his words will definitely be of the fighting kind. "hand over your weapons too while you're at it."

the boy rolls his eyes. "yeah, like hell."

percy repeats his demand with a firmer tone. it does nothing but provoke the boy more.

"what the hell do you want from us anyway?"

"what do we want from you?" you lift the bat a little higher and tighten your stance, preparing to swing if needed. "you're the ones trespassing."

as soon as the words leave your mouth, you regret them. you can feel percy's glare at your side, ignoring it doesn't do anything to make it go away. but you push your shoulders further back with false confidence.

"you guys stay back there?" the boy nods towards the gate behind you, one that leads to the jackpot of a home you and percy have been able to live in for a while now, only leaving during times like these to grab absolutely necessary items.

"what's it to you?" percy's accent starts to slip out and you know the blood is rushing to his heart and hands, preparing him for a fight.

the boy takes his hand off of the weapon again. you let your stance falter just a bit. "let us stay with you."

"like hell!" jesus, how is it that this boy has been standing in front of you for no more than ten minutes and you're already picking up his mannerisms? there is something about him. something you would've daydreamed about if you weren't in this situation. if the dead weren't walking the streets you would've laid on your stomach in your bed and created scenarios involving this—admittedly attractive—stranger.

"we've got supplies. you have a home. let's make a trade. just for a few days."

your eyebrows raise as you scan the exposed parts of their bodies. "why for a few days? either of you bit?"

the girl shakes her head. "no. herd up ahead. we need to wait it out."

you don't trust it, but the familiar step-slide of a walker comes from down the street. almost in tandem, all four of your heads turns towards it.

the boy steps forward the same time that you do.

"i got it," he tells you, finally unsheathing his sword and approaching the walker in one fluid movement. with one swipe of the weapon, he has the head of the walker chopped off and then the skull pierced with the tip of his sword with a quick jerk. you must admit it's an alluring sight, and you hope it isn't your hormones and desire speaking when you agree to let them stay with you.

but just for a few days.

[luveline]

Oh my gosh Zombie!steve holds a special place in my heart. Please write more for this Drabble series

thank you for reading!! steve zombie!au —you and steve reunite after a morning apart. 1k, fem!reader

Steve's sitting by the fire unawares when you drape the spare blanket over his shoulders. His hair, wet from a quick scrub in the stream, has soaked the collar of his shirt. The blanket is a welcome warmth, your doting moreso. 

He puts his makeshift bookmark between the pages of his book and follows your face as you sit with him. The apocalypse and subsequent lack of movies has turned him into a bookworm through necessity. He worries about things too much if he has nothing to do, and lately that's always the case. 

"Hello," you say, crossing your legs. Your knee bumps into his. "Sorry. Hey. What chapter are you on?" 

He flips the pages until he finds the chapter header. "Chapter twenty five." 

"You're getting quick," you say. 

It's weird to him that after so many confessions, days spent in one another's arms, nights laying between each other's thighs, you still hesitate sometimes before touching him. You know how much he loves you, and you waver. 

"We could start reading them together again."

"I go too fast." Your eyes widen in recognition. "But you're quicker now." 

He doesn't mind missing the last few lines of each page if it means you'll lean your head against his arm for a couple of hours every night. Your breath warms his collarbones. Your cheek soft and smushed to his rigid shoulder. 

"Way quicker." 

He thinks you're beautiful. It might be hurtful to say you aren't everyone's type, and it's not that he felt he had to warm to you before you became his type or anything, but you have something about you that he loves. Maybe it's purely the way you smile at him, that silly devotion poorly smothered (that he hopes you'd find reflected by him), or maybe it's your eyes. Maybe it's the way you speak to him, half the time like you're worried he won't talk back, and the other half like you're the same person thinking all the same things. He's hungry for every thought you have. 

Beautiful, and he loves you. Steve couldn't be more sure about it, and everyday it gets worse. He wonders if it'll ever stop, or if one day he's going to wake up next to you and choke on air, astounded by the chances of it all. How did you manage to find him? What luck was it of his to get to keep you despite his bad behaviour? He knows he was never as kind as he should've been to start with.

He looks at you and he thinks, Fuck, she's pretty. 

Steve tosses his book down into the packed dirt and just stares at you. You look back unabashed for a handful of seconds he savours. 

"Do I have something on my face?" you ask. 

"No," he murmurs. "You're just beautiful." 

Your eyebrows thread together at the starts, a wrinkle creasing the skin between them. You don't believe him, your lips puckering into a small frown.

"Why do you say stuff like that?" you ask. 

"I really, really think it's true. That's why. I can't not look at you without thinking about it. Even when we're dirty and starving and smell like hot garbage," he says, shrugging gently. "You're beautiful." 

"You've been reading too many romance books."

"I get that it sounds weird," he says. "Doesn't make it less true. You're beautiful." 

"That's enough," you say with a grin. "Stop. If Eddie hears you saying that he'll make fun of you forever." 

Steve gives you a fake shove. "Sorry, I'm confessing my love and the first thing you bring up is my arch nemesis?" 

You wince though he's only kidding, more than aware of his Eddie Munson related jealousy. You both talk about everything without punches pulled these days, and you've assured him he's the only one for you, but he'd quite like to hear it again. 

"Sorry, that's my bad," you say, shuffling closer to him. You put your arm behind his back and kiss his shoulder, warmth unfurling from the contact despite the shirt and blanket between it. "I think you're handsome, too, but you know that. Beside the fact that I'd never really been naked in front of someone before, those early days were torture for me 'cus I thought you were, like, the handsomest guy I went to school with." 

"Just school?" 

"No," you mumble, crossing your free arm over his stomach, nestling yourself under his arm. "Handsomest guy ever." 

He dips his head to touch his nose to the top of your head. 

"I love you," you say, scrunching his shirt in your hand. 

"Yeah, I love you, too. How was work?" 

"Bah. How was your day off?" 

Steve likes getting time off at camp, but it's pointless when you're not off with him. "Wasted. Missed you stupid, helped out with the kids at lunch anyways, spent the rest of it on that shitty book." 

"It's no good?" you ask. 

He loves your voice. It shoots through him like a spark, your genuine, lilting concern. 

"Shit. I don't think I wanna finish it."

"Skip to the end and go get a new one," you suggest. 

He closes his eyes and breathes in the smoky air of the campsite. You have this effect on him —of many— where you can quieten a hectic place. You sit down next to him and suddenly he's not sitting a ways off from the fire in the middle of the Michigan woodland, he's with you. Plain and simple. 

"I will." 

"Maybe I can help you vet some? Make sure you get one you enjoy this time. Or we can trade some of our credits for a new pack of cards. I'll teach you how to play speed."

"After you tricked me into being bad at gin rummy? Nah, you're okay." 

You force his head up as you lift your own, pinning him with your tender gaze. "You like losing. You do, you always say I have to kiss it better." 

He's a simple man. A kiss from his girl is all he needs. "Maybe we should get a pack of cards," he says smugly. 

You shake your head at him, but you're beaming. 

[the-meta-tron]

Good Omens Theory: Matchbox Foreshadowing

Did anyone wonder why there was so much emphasis on this matchbox?

We know that it was later connected to Gabriel's disappearance since it's from The Resurrectionist in Edinburgh, and it's where he stored his fly from Beelzebub. The Resurrectionist, of course, was a double entendre to the body snatchers that were an essential part of Victorian medical research as well as Jesus himself. Knowing at the end of the season that Heaven is planning the Second Coming, all the references to the Resurrectionist seemed like some pretty basic foreshadowing. But I think it goes deeper than that.

THE QUOTE

Why is there a quote from the Book of Job on a matchbox from a place named after Jesus? Surely, there would have been other scripture that was more relevant to JC. No, instead we get this from the book of Job.

Job 41:19 Out of his mouth go burning lamps, and sparks of fire leap out

Upon the first watch, the first thing that immediately sprung to mind when that quote floated on screen was the last time fiery sparks leaped out of someone's mouth in Heaven. Who did that again?

Oh yeah!

Crowley, wearing Aziraphale's face.

I've always wondered exactly what the relevance of this particular quote from the Book of Job meant. After all, references to The Book Of Job were everywhere in season 2. There are some excellent metas out there as to why Job is so important to season 2, but I want to actually analyze what the scripture that's been referenced is describing.

The whole point of the Book of Job is most of it is about God's conversation with Job. Chapter 41 is titled: The Lord's Power Shown in the Leviathan. And I really don't think that is a coincidence.

The Leviathan, as described in Chapter 41 of the Book of Job... is a giant snake that breathes fire. Literally.

Basically, God is talking to Job about all of their creations, and they bring up The Leviathan as one of the most fearsome things they ever created. It's basically God saying to Job: look at my big scary sea snake that breathes fire. Do you think you can fight this big scary sea snake that breathes fire? You can't. He's so powerful. No weapons can harm him. He's stronger than anything. Everyone's terrified of him. But he's not more powerful than ME because I'm God.

So where else does the Leviathan appear in theology?

In the Book of Enoch, The Leviathan is a female giant chaos serpent that lives deep in the ocean, while her mate, Behemoth, is a male giant chaos beast (based off of a hippopotamus or water-ox) who lives in the mythical desert of Duidain, East of Eden.

In the Book of Revelations, The Leviathan is associated with The Devil (a lot of things get associated with the Devil in Christianity. Read my Crowley isn't Lucifer, But... theory for more context). It is also strongly associated with being The Serpent of Eden ("this is the dragon that was cast out of Paradise, that beguiled Eve and is permitted in this world to make sport of us" - Jerome of Stridon), aka our good friend Crowley. In the prophecy of Revelations, the Leviathan, also known as The Seven-Headed Dragon, is kind of important in the final battle between Heaven and Hell.

So, I think Crowley is The Leviathan, and he's going to have a much more important role in the Second Coming than he thinks he does.

The Resurrectionist(s).

I think Season 3 is going to be a biblical zombie apocalypse.

Let me explain.

In the Episode 2 Minisode, we see Aziraphale find out that God is going to let Satan destroy everything Job owns, including his children. Aziraphale thinks killing children is wrong, so he tries to stop Crowley from killing Job's children, only to find out, surprise! Crowley never planned to kill the children and was always scheming behind Hell's back to find a way to protect them. Aziraphle helps Crowley by working together to trick Heaven into thinking Job's old children are dead and they have new ones now, saving the children's lives.

In the Episode 3 Minisode, we see Aziraphale and Crowley get involved with a body snatcher named Elpseth. Aziraphale thinks digging up corpses for money is wrong, so he stops Elpseth from selling the body to a resurrectionist, only to find out, surprise! The medical community actually really needs these human corpses to study anatomy and potentially reduce human suffering. He tries to help Elpseth dig up another body, but Wee Morag gets shot and killed, and Crowley stops Elpseth from killing herself with Laudanum by drinking it instead and makes her agree to live a better life.

In the Episode 4 Minisode, we see Aziraphale and Crowley flirt do a little magic show together so Aziraphale can repay Crowley for saving his books by doing a West End show to cover Crowley's alcohol smuggling debts. Meanwhile, there are literal zombie nazis who have been hired by hell to try to find evidence that the two of them are working together. Aziraphale and Crowley trust each other when their miracles aren't working, and they pull off the magic trick. Backstage, when Furfur rubs the proof in their faces, Aziraphale tricks him by doing sleight-of-hand so Furfur returns to hell without proof.

In the minisodes, we see several consistent themes popping up. We see Aziraphale struggling with morality. We see Aziraphale and Crowley working together to help humanity or each other. We see them saving human lives at great personal risk. We see deception and sleight-of-hand against Heaven, Hell, and Humanity. Lastly and most importantly, we see a lot of death and resurrection. We see the not-death and not-resurrection of Job's children, the deaths of resurrectionists of Victorian Scotland, and the literal death and resurrection of the Nazi Zombies.

Outside of the minisodes, we see Crowley and Aziraphale's combined miracle be worth 25 Lazarii, aka bringing 25 people back from the dead. We see Gabriel, in his purple-eyed prophetic trance, warn of a great storm that will raise the dead. And we see Crowley bring a man who was ripped apart by demons back to life(?).

Not to mention we know Jesus, The Resurrectionist, is going to be around for season 3. And the Second Coming, aka Judgement Day, is going to happen. And the Last Judgement in Abrahamic Theology is the Day of Resurrection; it is "The Resurrection of the Dead, both Just and Unjust" (Acts 24:25); it is Life to the Dead so they may live eternally in the Kingdom to Come. (That's why, in Abrahamic Theology, the Book of Life is so important. You can see my Book of Lies theory for more on that).

The dead are going to rise. It is established that it's possible for the dead to become zombies with the nazi zombie episode. Why devote an entire minisode to the concept of zombies if it isn't important? It's foreshadowed time and time again throughout season 2.

I also anticipate that we're going to see the other themes that were present in the minisodes. I don't think anyone will be surprised if next season Aziraphael will struggle with morality. Aziraphale and Crowley are going to have to learn to communicate properly so they can work together and trust each other again (being able to do miracles of immense power together is a huge Chekov's Gun). We're going to see them do some kind of deception again to trick Heaven and Hell into thinking they're getting their way with the apocalypse when they actually aren't.

In Summary

So, in conclusion, based on that little matchbox and the wider plot of Season 2, we're going to see Crowley be the giant fire-breathing chaos serpent, aka Leviathan (literally or metaphorically), with some kind of essential role at the end of the world. And I think we're going to see a zombie apocalypse or mass resurrection of some sort. I also think we're going to see Aziraphale and Crowley have to learn to trust each other again so they can do A Big Miracle and also trick Heaven and Hell with some really clever deception.

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook: trophic level ²

He's a former idol, one of the people sheltered and saved from the inevitable collapse of humanity- probably thinking that his eye was some huge sacrifice he'd made to survive. Well, welcome to reality; where you can count yourself lucky if you only loose your eye, and nothing else.

Tags/Warnings: Zombie apocalypse, Violence, blood and descriptive gore, enemies to lovers, former idol!Jungkook, jungkook is half blind in this, near death experiences

Additional Chapter Warnings: tsundere af reader, jungkook being jungkook, if you use some glasses you can spot some fluff, dirt ew, blood and wounds ew², mild Angst

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You're not feeling too good.

You're not sure if Jungkook has noticed this or not, but right now, you're at least happy he doesn't complain or bug you about it. You don't like staying in one place for too long, so you keep on walking behind him through abandoned cars and buildings around. He's not stupid- he doesn't enter the town itself, keeps himself and you in the background to avoid potential dead people trying to gain some dinner.

It's not long, though, when your dizziness gets the best of you, sending you straight into the bushes below, unable to get up for a good moment. "Wha- fuck!" He curses under his breath, instantly pulling you out the branches and into a sitting position. "What's wrong? What happened?" He wants to know, his brown eye roaming your features for any hint.

"Oh, thought I'd take a quick nap, you know." You tell him, wiping your cheek where there's a little cut now from the sharp branches you'd fallen into. "Give me a second. I'll be up in a few.." you mumble to yourself, while he simply refuses to listen it seems, trying to guess your temperature with the back of his hand.

"You're sweating." He tells mostly himself as his hand dips into your sweater and jacket, making your cheeks burn for a second from the bold action. "You got injured yesterday, right?" He asks, brows furrowed and face serious.

"Just a scrape. But yeah." You say, moving your leg that he instantly inspects by pulling on your pants. "Ow, hey! Thought you idols were such gentlemen." You curse, while he clicks his tongue, tilting his head a bit irritated.

"I'll just ignore that comment." He murmurs, before lifting the pant leg a bit more carefully.

"Well, awesome." You throw your hands up, seeing the angry red and splotchy skin around your cut.

"Its infected. Why didn't you say anything?" He scolds, and for the first time, you actually shrink in on yourself a bit at his harsh tone. Maybe you should put the whole idol-persona you've had in mind for him aside for now.

At least until you make sure he won't have to cut your leg off.

"I didn't want you to stop walking." You say quietly. "We can't stay in one place for long."

"Yeah and you can't walk with just one leg." He sighs. "I'm not a doctor, I've got honestly no idea what to do, other than.. things I've read on Google a few years back."

"Well, then use that world-wide-web knowledge! It's better than nothing?" You encourage, and he pushes his tongue against the inside of his cheek as he looks around.

There's not many options, and even less are even slightly safe. He can't stay here with you, not with the potential amount of dead walking around in the more inner parts of the city. He has to move into a different direction for now, find some remote shelter that hopefully has some things left he can use, and then let you rest until you can keep up again.

"Alright." He says, dropping his backpack. "Get on." He tells you.

"And your backpack?" You wonder quietly.

"I'll carry it in my hand. Come on now." He urges. "We don't have time forever."

You quietly crawl onto his back like that, surprised at how easily he seems to lift and carry you, as he begins to walk. "I'm sorry." You mumble.

"For what?" He scoffs.

"Being a burden? This is horribly cliche." You complain. He shrugs as best as he can with you on his back.

"Just don't sacrifice yourself or something. Being lonely sucks." He complains quietly, and you're unsure if he meant that as a joke, or in all seriousness.

Maybe both.

In the small shed you find in the middle of the woods a few minutes away from town, there's no one there- not much supplies either, but enough to at least comfort you both for a day or two. Jungkook carefully places you down next to a cold and dirty stove, before he searches through the cabinets for anything.

"Yes! Fuck, yes, I'm so good, kissed by the gods, I swear!" He calls out but keeps his voice low, fist-bumping the air.

"Did you find alcohol?" You wonder.

"Even better!" He grins, before shaking a plastic bottle. "Penicillin!" He presents as if he's shooting a commercial.

Go figure. Some things never change.

"Alright, I'll clean that and while you're busy being a good girl and not scream at me while I'm doing that-" he looks at you from his halfway-kneeling position, old shirt in hand as well as a water bottle. You're a bit flustered at his choice of words. "-you can chug some of these bad boys so they'll kick in soon." He instructs, while you just nod dumbly.

He's surprisingly effective yet gentpe- though he has to keep a good grip on your ankle because you can't help but pull away every now and then. He's constantly making sure to whisper out praise whenever he can, concentrated on doing a good job wrapping gauze he'd found still packaged around your cut, not too tight and not too loose before he leaves you be.

"Hey I found some-" he calls out after securing some snacks they'd stored- only to find you asleep, halfway leaning against the stove and his backpack.

Quietly, Jungkook just sits down next to you, watching you, listening to any noises that might come from outside. The shed is safe, he'd secured all entrances and windows, but still, he keeps watch over you for as long as he can stay awake.

Because being lonely sucks, yeah-

But he's also really starting to like you.

[heeliopheelia]

― 𝐌𝐘 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒

𝒉𝒚𝒖𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆:

‪‪♥︎ forgetting/losing the wedding ring (f)

‪♥︎‬ safe word (m)(f)

‪‪♥︎‬ hyung line as one night stands (m)

‪‪♥︎‬ fucking in public (m)

𝒅𝒊𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆'𝒔 𝒂 𝒕𝒖𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒍 𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒐𝒄𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒃𝒍𝒗𝒅

Open me up, tell me you like it Fuck me to death, love me until I love myself There's a tunnel under Ocean Boulevard

𖹭 pairing: fuckboy! sunghoon x fem! reader

𖹭 genre: angst, fluff, smut, strangers to lovers au

Sunghoon looks at you, stunned. You can't really believe that, can you? Heart pounds in his chest and suddenly he feels the most distressed he's ever been in his entire life. He just doesn't know what to do.

"Are you really asking me that shit? You can't actually think that," he nearly scoffs, dying inside as he just realizes how terrible he is at expressing his feelings.

He hates himself for the pain he's causing you and in an attempt to fix that, he takes a step towards you. He's painfully humbled when you move backwards, avoiding his touch at all cost. Ignoring the hurt look on his face, you avert your gaze away from him.

"I do love you, YN."

Your blurry eyes scan the messy living room, desperately trying to focus on anything else before you start weeping like a goddamn child. Ironically, as your eyes land on the couch that the two of you have spent hours on last night, you feel the first tear drop down your cheek.

𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒑𝒊𝒅

The time is right, your perfume fills my head The stars get red, and, oh, the night's so blue And then I go and spoil it all By saying somethin' stupid like, "I love you"

𖹭 pairing: jake x fem! reader

𖹭 genre: fake dating au, best friends to lovers au, fluff, slight angst

"Please, please, don't slip up, Jaeyun," you nearly beg on your knees, earning an amused look from him. "If we fuck up now, it's over for me. I won't be able to show my face to my family in the nearest ten years in the future."

"So dramatic and for what!" He laughs and you shove him in the ribs. "Why are you doubting my acting skills? I've been pretending to like you for more than a decade. I should be getting an Oscar, on God."

You mockingly beam at his smiling face. "Ha, you're so funny! You should become a comedian instead."

"Yeah, maybe that's a good idea. With you as a friend I'd never run out of jokes material."

𝒖𝒏𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆

You glare at him one last time before putting on a fake smile and dragging him with you in the direction of the chattering voices.

Never before has someone been more Unforgettable in every way And forevermore, that's how you'll stay

𖹭 pairing: heeseung x fem! reader

𖹭 genre: friends to enemies to lovers au, barista au, angst, fluff

"I thought you wanted it this way," Heeseung says, eyebrows raised in confusion. He looks down at the mug in his hand then places it on the counter next to you.

"And where did you get that idea from?" You huff with annoyance but nonetheless pull the coffee closer. The very familiar scent flows into your nostrils almost immediately and you try your best not to show the excitement on your face.

"Well, that's how you liked it five years ago," he replies smoothly and quirks his eyebrow up. "Judging by your expression, nothing changed since then."

You send him a mocking smile, a grimace almost really, and stand up from the stool to walk away from him as quickly as you can so that he doesn't notice the tips of your ears burning with red.

"A lot has changed since then," you point out and pass him without sparing him another look.

𝒚𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏

If you dance I'll dance And if you don't I'll dance anyway Give peace a chance Let the fear you have fall away

𖹭 pairing: sunghoon x fem! reader

𖹭 genre: zombie apocalypse au, angst, fluff, smut, strangers to lovers au

His thumb strokes the soft skin on your knuckles mindlessly. He hasn't let go of your hand ever since you got off his back. He's worried — you know it. Like he's said many times before, he's no medic. Neither of you knows how to take care of your ankle properly but for now it seems to be growing better, stronger.

You often wonder of how Sunghoon was before the world collapsed. Was he more cheerful? Was he a free spirit? Was he carefree or reserved? Was he always this gloomy? You wish you could learn the answers but all of that is in past right now. You always take as much as you can from the peeks of Hoon's old personality whenever he's feeling playful or teases you, but that's all you can get. There's no point of reminiscing of the past that will never come back. You're both different people now, no matter how much you love to push this thought out of your mind.

"Are you happy?" You ask as you walk past the gas station.

𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒖𝒍

"You make me happy," he answers without missing a beat. You squeeze his hand comfortingly, hoping you can get a few more emotions out of him. "I don't know if I feel happy with how my life's turned out to be, but you're with me now, so that makes the entirety of it half better."

Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful? Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul? I know you will, I know you will, I know that you will

𖹭 pairing: stable boy! jay x princess! reader

𖹭 genre: royal au, forbidden love au, angst, fluff

You did that to him.

It's all because of you.

"Jay," you whisper with throat clenched so tight, it hurt to speak. You should've ran out of tears a long time ago but here you are again, a sobbing mess in front of his shaking body. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry."

He weakly raises his hand up and covers your palm with his. "I'm fine. It's gonna be fine."

You can't help but only cry harder, knowing well you're not the one who's supposed to be comforted at the moment. In the corner of your eyes you notice a small group of other servants running to the both of you. You spot Heeseung in the middle of them and you cry out in helplessness.

"Please, help him," you stumble out. Heeseung looks at you with wide eyes, visibly petrified with the sight in front of him. You see the shock painting on the other two maids' pale faces. You sob out desperately, "Please."

© heeliopheelia 2024. All rights reserved

[peculiarreality]

Hello 🖖🏻

I giggled when I spotted Gary? Gaaary.

So would you please tell me more about that WIP and also The Devil Went Down to Georgia (But He Wasn’t Expecting the Zombie Apocalypse) ?

Hello!

So, 'Gary? Gaaary.' is a fic in a series I've been (very slowly) working on about Fallout 3. There's a Vault in Fallout 3, Vault 108, where all of the living residents are clones of this one man named Gary. The only word they can say is 'Gary', and in-game it's kind of hilarious!

The Garys are hostile in the game, but 'Gary? Gaaary.' is about a Gary clone who ends up following the main character of the series around as a companion.

Here's an excerpt!

"Gary?" Kenickie stared down at the clone and blinked. "You're not attacking me?" he asked, lowering his pistol. The clone shook his head. "Gary. Gaaary." He stood up slowly and held his empty hands out. His intent was clear, he didn't want to fight. "You're not going to attack me?" "Gary."

As for 'The Devil Went Down to Georgia (But He Wasn't Expecting the Zombie Apocalypse)', that one's about the 4-player zombie apocalypse game Left 4 Dead 2, which takes place in Georgia.

The premise is basically just, "What if Nick (one of the Survivors) was part demon, and Ellis (another survivor) was a monster hunter?" and it came from someone else mentioning something that happened in one of their games.

And here's an excerpt of that under the Read More! (Warning for mentions of gore, it's a zombie apocalypse after all!)

"Wow. Seriously, Ellis, you really outdid yourself this time." Flames licked the floor and the side of the car from the gas can Ellis had blown up as Nicolas Bianchi spoke, calmly standing in the middle of the mini inferno. He dropped the remnants of the gas can and stepped forward, out of the flames that seemed to almost part before him. "Oh, save it," he muttered as Ellis crossed himself. "It's not going to do anything and you just look stupid doing that." The gambler's eyes burned red, the only indicator that he was anything but human. Ellis stared for a bit, and Nick could only imagine what was going through his mind. Probably some prayer, if he was as God-fearing as the rest of this shitty town. But then Ellis came running up to him and shoved, sending him reeling straight back into the dying fire as a Hunter landed where he'd been. The mechanic raised his shotgun and slammed its stock into the leaping zombie's jaw, stunning it and sending it sprawling. "Holy shit, Nick, that was damn close!" he exclaimed as he leveled the twin barrels at its face. A quick pull of the triggers and both barrels emptied into its skull, sending bits of blood, brain, and bone across the ground. "You alright?" he asked as he held out a hand. This time, it was Nick's turn to stare. Never before had his, for lack of a better word, demonic nature been ignored in favor of saving his life, especially not in the South. "Yeah, I'm fine, kid..." He accepted the hand anyways and let Ellis pull him to his feet. "Why aren't you, you know..." "Runnin' and screamin' about brimstone an' hellfire?" At Nick's nod, he shrugged. "Iunno, I guess ya just ain't that scary. Always thought demons'd look like the ones in Doom, but you just look like a man. An' I was always told demons was evil, but you just been helpin' us since we met. An' ma always wanted me to think fer myself. She'd be mighty disappointed if I treated ya like a freak fer bein' what y'are." He gave Nick a slightly uneasy smile, in which Nick could almost see a trace of fear. "Besides, man, it's a zombie apocalypse. Can't choose yer fellow survivors, ya know? An' it's always better to get along with those yer survivin' with."

Thank you so much for asking about my WIPs! ♥ I hope to eventually finish them both... ^^;

[cousticks]

Can you expand on Rimlaine in your zombie au? 👀

oh i sure fucking can. warning for self destructive behavior a little greater than canon because i did some rather messed up things to make them work!

I kind of gave them a bit of a "you're the only person in this town crazy enough to handle me" dynamic but more of as a quarantine measure because nobody else wanted anything to do with either of them. My explanation of how I translate their abilities and dynamic into this universe is kind of long so I'm putting this under a cut!

so, i spend a lot of time in this au trying to translate everyone's abilities into an ability-less zombie au. rimbaud's ability in translation kind of got broken down into two main parts: compartmentalization and control. in an ability, this is his ability subspace, and the manipulation of the rules within it.

now. we know rimbaud is kind of nuts. we also know that in canon he's used his ability to keep himself "alive" when he should have died.

you're probably reading this going okay cou, that's cool and all, but where's the zombie apocalypse part? well, resistance to death, compartmentalization, and control? rimbaud is going to survive several zombie attacks. in the most fucked up way.

i've mentioned my zombie virus's function is, among some other diseases, based upon rabies. rabies spreads pretty slowly in the body, through nerves. so if rimbaud gets bitten? he's not going down so easy. compartmentalization and control - he just fucking cuts off a solid chunk of whatever part of him just got bit before the wound has a chance to spread then carries on. (note: i do not know if this would work with real rabies nor do i recommend it. this is science fiction! i do what i want!)

so we've got rimbaud, who just lops off chunks of himself when he gets attacked to survive. he develops a bit of a reputation for this. after all, in canon, he's a powerful ability user. why wouldn't he be of high reputation (with people a little afraid of him) in this world, too? he's known for having ways of "dealing with" zombies.

now, verlaine. he, like chuuya, is an experimentally "cured" zombie (not cured. still zombie. just... staved off.) he's still dangerous and unstable to a point. the experimental cure is rather miserable and not super effective (most just die when its attempted). he's still very much infected with the zombie virus, but it won't be getting much worse, save for occasional "slips" of fun zombie brain moments (not fun in the slightest). shoutout to @/squidsandthings for giving me another virus type to look into for ideas on how these slips work!!! i love taking inspiration from real life diseases to make this work.

so after verlaine gets essentially thrown to the wolves after the zombie treatment, he gets passed off into the care of pretty much the only guy who can put up with someone that's just a zombie with a still functional brain, aka rimbaud.

yes, verlaine has bitten rimbaud a few times. this is fine though. remember how rimbaud literally gives himself up for verlaine at the end of stormbringer? i'm carrying that over, here, with rimbaud literally being willing to chop bits of himself off to keep verlaine around. and in return verlaine is the only person around not dismally horrified of rimbaud... Doing That.

i wanted at least someone to be kind of happier than in canon somehow in this universe so i'm allowing rimlaine to at least get to stay together without that separation they have in canon. but also one constantly runs the risk of killing the other either accidentally or out of necessity.

i also really wanted to create the rimbaud & dazai parallels of "immunity" of a sort, though rimbaud's is a distinctly different flavor of immunity since its very self-wrought.

so there you have it! that's the rimlaine zombie au dynamic. they're both miserable and having a bad time but at least they're having a bad time together. (fun fact! they can't like. kiss or anything. because, like rabies, the zombie virus can be spread through mucus membranes ((like mouths!)) i can make them as canon as i want and it still doesn't do either of them any good! <3)

[infiwrites]

20 Fanfic Questions

Tagged by: @therev28

Tagging: @zinziinziiin aaaand whoever else wants to do this one!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

One hundred and thirty nine!

2. What's your total word count?

I currently have 245,166 published! What I have that's unpublished.... Ahahahahahah....... It's over 300k if the last time I counted a few months ago was anything to go by

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently: Vocaloid, Love Love (Aqours, sometimes Niji), D4DJ, Nikkiverse (Shining Nikki & Love Nikki)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

50 Ways I Say "I Love You" — KaiMei, Vocaloid; Dia-nial — DiaRiko, LLSIF; Inspiration — Dia, LLSIF; Ghosts In The Apartment — KaiMei, Vocaloid; O One — DiaRiko, LLSIF

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! I enjoy talking about my fics, so I'll usually respond. Some I don't answer though, either because I can't think of anything to say or because I'm unsure how I feel about the comment in the first place. Luckily, I can only count two people who fit the latter category, both of whom are blocked.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?Uhhhhh angstiest one that I've ever written involves a d4dj zombie apocalypse AU that features multiple deaths, which ends with some wildly unhealthy AoRika sacrifice. That fic is probably never getting finished, though, so. Rip. Angstiest that's been posted is probably Lavender Blue, a Love Nikki fic I wrote after reaching the part where Lunar died.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh god I don't even know which one to answer for this one. Proooooobably "Crumbs of the Whole?" At least out of my longfics, that's the happiest one.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not recently! I've never gotten a nasty comment on this account so far, but I've definitely gotten some flames in the past for writing characters they didn't like, and writing angst when they wanted a happy ending. Lmao.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Sometimes! I mostly write F/F, though I've done F/M a couple times bc KaiMei.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I don't normally write crossovers, though I do have a Sunshine/D4DJ one I'll get around to eventually. Craziest one was probably an unironic Vocaloid/Transformers one I wrote back in the day that I think I took down?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge, but I wouldn't be surprised.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Unfortunately, no, but if anyone wants to give it a go, I've got blanket permissions for it on my profile!

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Yep! Excluding the 100k+ RPs I've done over the years, I've also written a fic with @zinziinziiin — "Road Tripping", an AyuKarin we wrote for IFHeaven's hunger games. I also co-wrote a Warriors fanfic on FFnet back around 2013-2014, but I don't remember what it was called or who I wrote it with. I believe it was taken down at some point, though, so it's a bit of a moot point.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

DiaRiko or KaiMei.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

"How It Feels", a future fic centered around Ruby navigating how different life is for Aqours when she returns to Numazu after going to school for tailoring and finding Dia in an unhappy marriage and the events of getting her out of it. It was a longfic that I kept thinking about, but never got around to writing out in full. I doubt I'll ever have the steam for it at this rate, especially since my focus is elsewhere these days.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Prose and internal narration, I think!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue and pacing are the biggest ones I struggle with.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

No real strong thoughts on it in itself—though if the POV narrator is supposed to understand it (and by extension, the reader) I'd at least like the meaning able to be gleaned from context so I don't have to scroll to the end for the author's note translation of the conversation before having to scroll back to where I was; if you want readers who do not speak the language to be able to follow along, that's really not a good way to go about it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Disney fairies fanfic when I was like. 8 or something. The first fandom I wrote for while consciously knowing what fanfic was? Proooooobably MLP??? It's been over ten years and I don't remember SHIT, lmao

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Even after all these years, it's still gotta be Dia-nial. It's a disaster, it's a shit show, it's a shitpost that sprouted an actual plot, but my god is it a delight to write and reread. It rides the line of taking itself seriously while also not; it's stupidly funny until it kicks your teeth in. It's not my most refined work—not by a long shot—but I really do think it's my most lively fic to date.

"The analogy and her problems were year-round." fucking gets me every time

[zz-chikorita]

Your characters are in a zombie apocalypse. They've already secured food and weapons and a safe zone and everything is going good, so now they can actually think about what to go out and retrieve that will be a fun thing or just something they specifically want to get to enrich their lives. I know that Guzma would put the kids first, but AFTER doing nice shit for them and if Plumeria basically forces him to go get whatever is the thing he wants for himself, what would he get? And what would Plumeria and Leon get?

Oh! Oh! I've got it!!!!

Guzma:

Surprising many people, Guzma would get himself some sick new threads. Although, when ya think about it, it's not that surprising; he's a show off! His light hair and skin plus absurd height and stature that always turned heads (and once felt like a curse) he now gladly uses to fill his ego. And it doesn't have to be expensive shit, just anything that looks good; anything from suits to street wear. Plus, the way he sees it, surviving a zombie apocalypse don't mean he can't look fine as hell! What was that video game where you're fighting zombies in a mall? Dead Rising, I think? Yeah, just imagine that but it's Guz trying on awesome clothes while seamlessly beating zombies down with a lead pipe when they interrupt him.

(ZZ Top's Sharp Dressed Man playing over the montage of Guz ransacking various department stores)

***Plums and Lee under cut***

Plumeria:

Plums would compile a massive collection of books and other physical media like CDs and DVDs. The preservation of both culture and knowledge is important in a zombie apocalypse! Plus, she gonna need some sort of entertainment to survive safe house life with these numbskulls. Plus plus, those who control the flow of knowledge, control everything. (Not as nefarious as it sounds, at least in her hands)

(Beyoncé's Run the World plays during the montage of her delegating groups of grunts to gather and organize all her spoils)

Leon:

Very little known fact about Leon... he's a major car guy. He doesn't know a ton of technical knowledge about them aside from what can be transferred over about tractor maintenance, but we all know Leon's a fast learner and, if he puts his mind to something, he gives it 120%. But, "why does he have such a fascination with cars", you may ask. Maybe it's just because he grew up in such a rural area or maybe it's from watching hours and hours of Unovan action films, bored, cooped up in the various hotel rooms he frequented in his early days in the league. Maybe it has something to do with how he absolutely loves the thrill of riding Charizard at breakneck speeds. Or, maybe he just thinks they look cool as fuck and that they'll make him look cool as fuck too. Hell, he thought he was gonna drool on himself the first time he saw Guzma on his chopper! But, long story short, he gets himself a car that is fast, strong, and sexy. Yessir, Leon finds and mods himself what is essentially the post-apocalyptic, zombie-killing version of the beloved poekani "carizard".

(His montage music for finding and working on the car is Ginuwine's Pony no I do not take constructive criticism)

[winteringdream]

008. we need to leave

staying longer at school with your science club didn't cause any problems; until you find yourself stuck in your high school after your city has become ground zero for a deadly virus

previous | masterlist | next

"i had an idea, what if when we manage to get out we go to ___ it's the city that is closest to here," nicholas tells the group.

"but isn't ___ like a 20 minute drive away? how are we going to get there without getting attacked?" jay asks as he puts a piece of bread in his mouth.

"we hotwire cars," niki starts laughing, and bangs his fist on the table.

"you've been watching too many action movies, we're teens, not some protagonist in a zombie apocalypse," sunghoon cuts in. he pushes niki to make him stop laughing.

"we have the internet though," jungwon says after thinking, "aren't there tutorials on how to hotwire a car?"

"yeah, maybe on the dark web," heeseung sighs. "why cant we call anyone outside the building but we can watch netflix movies and all that?"

"maybe they had to leave their phones? maybe the phones had something to do with the virus?" you question. none of you knew anything, everything could be possible.

the clattering and clinking of forks and knives stops.

"the virus on the phone? how would that spread?" kazuha questions.

"they prankcall you and the zombie says, "what's up, you've been infected lol" and then you get infected," beomgyu jokes.

bahiyyih starts laughing, and so does niki. you can't help but smile too, it felt like you were just back at school eating lunch with your friends.

"we could divide into smaller groups and find out how we should escape," jungwon proposes. "this way everything will go faster and we'll get to escape faster."

after cleaning up the plates the group and you head back to K017, which had become some sort of a headquarter for this operation.

"let's move to the teacher's lounge," kazuha suggests, maybe it was because the classroom reminded her too much of how it was before.

or maybe it was yeseo's handwriting that no one dared to erase, it served as a kind of reminder of yeseo.

"i think it's best if we make up 2 groups of 5 and 1 group of 4." nicholas draws up the plan on a google document.

"one does equipment, one makes the plan, and one does the research on the outside." jungwon follows up. he had unknowingly taken the role of leader.

"i vote niki, sunoo, wonyoung, kazuha and heeseung do the research, they know their way around the internet, anyone disagree?"

"i disagree, i know my way around the internet too!" beomgyu protested.

"you only know tiktok and twitter, we need people reading articles," gaeul tells him.

"oh, nevermind i can't read long texts."

"jay, jake, beomgyu, bahiyyih and i in equipment,"

"and gaeul, sunghoon, jungwon and y/n in plan making,"

nicholas had made up a reasonable division of tasks, and it seemed like no one had any problems with it.

"we take teacher's lounge, this place has the most computers," niki claims, as if the study rooms didn't have the most computers.

"sure, sure," jungwon says absent-mindedly.

"the fastest way to get to the other city is via the highway," gaeul tells the small group. "too hard?"

"depends on the situation of the highway," jungwon states.

"okay, highway check, sent to kazuha," sunghoon types on his phone. "they'll start searching."

you tried to look outside to see if you could see any zombies outside the school. the fourth floor was the only floor high enough to see over the trees surrounding the school.

there was nothing except for an abandoned street, not even the zombies you and bahiyyih saw on the first day. had they left knowing they couldnt get in? or did they all manage to get inside the school property?

"what do you think, y/n?" jungwon suddenly calls out.

"what?"

"we could bike to ___ if the highways are okay, do you think we'll be okay?"

you seriously doubted the possibility of the highways being untouched, you shrug.

"how long does it take to bike all the way to ___?" gaeul asks.

"at least an hour," you reply. "that is if we bike without stopping."

"that's not going to be the case," jungwon sighed. none of you had biked a whole hour without stopping before.

jake could only replay the scene of him trying to protect you this morning. what was he thinking, acting all protective?

"jake? earth to jake~" beomgyu calls out.

"what?"

"you're so out of it today," jay notices, "didn't sleep well?"

if kazuha was in the equipment team she would've definitely said something that would ruin jake's whole "secretly in love with y/n" status. little did he know almost everyone outside of beomgyu, bahiyyih and ni-ki knew.

no one dared to tell any secrets to the three unless they wanted the whole world to know about it.

"it's nothing, let's just go to the janitor's closet." he shrugs off. bahiyyih, jay and beomgyu look at eachother with a confused look.

all the groups had only one motive; to get out. they needed to leave, and quickly, before everyone and everything around them vanishes with only fourteen of you left.

TAGLIST : @msxflower @iloveoceaneyes @kazuhugs

[luveline]

& speaking of the Steve zombie au series —

would you ever maybe give us a little tidbit of maybe Steve and reader where he finally admits to her not only just how petrified he was when she got kidnapped, but also how much he’s realized that he cannot live without her? I could feel his walls coming down in that last excerpt and felt our boy wanting to just UNLEASH all of his emotions to us and the comforted one vs the comforter, like — ugh my baby 🥲

even if you never wrote this tho your writing and this series is literally unmatched like oh my fucking god I love you and don’t even know you???

thank you so much ♥ for you, fem!reader zombie!au steve

"You want to what?" 

"I want to move into the pantry." 

You stare at Steve, your shock melding into unhappiness. "No, you don't." 

He laughs at your frown and sits up a little taller. He almost drops his tray. "I do! I miss you all the time, I don't see why we chose separate jobs in the first place." 

You look down at your own tray. You and Steve have chanced the unnatural winter sunshine to eat in the quietude outside of the cafeteria, but it's cold despite the sunshine and you don't like the food today and now Steve is… doing whatever it is he's doing. 

"I miss you too," you say. "You want this?" 

"You need to eat." 

"I don't like–" 

"That's never stopped you before," he teases lightly. 

"Forgive me for being picky," you say, and you're not being sarcastic. It's an amazing privilege at this point, and in these circumstances, to be able to turn food away. "You eat it for me, please." 

"We can go to the shop tonight and pick something you like," he says. 

'The shop' is just that, a small store of any excess pantry stuff, luxuries people don't strictly need. You can trade or you can cash in a 'credit' or a few for something. There's been some great stuff in there lately, like marshmallows and a huge box of three musketeers bars. 

"No…" You don't want him to buy you treats. It's like a reward for being difficult. "You can't come to work in the pantry, there isn't anything for you to do." 

"Then I'll do something else. I just want to be here with you." 

"But," you say, alarmed, "you can't do that. We can't be like that." 

You've only just got back to normal. Not normal, because this isn't normal, not this community or the apocalypse or what happened to you, but better than it had been. You get up in the mornings at the same time and eat breakfast in the cafeteria, where Hopper hosts town hall, and then you part for your separate jobs. You work in the kitchen, Steve works as a sort of security guard patrolling the fences of the community to stop a geek invasion, and occasionally leaves the College to bring things back from the abandoned shopping mall a couple of miles away. 

"Be like what?" he asks, sounding like he's about to sulk with you as he puts his tray at the floor by his feet. 

"Codependent." 

"We're already codependent. I think we're allowed." 

"See, that's what everybody says, but–" 

You put your tray down on the floor because you doubt Steve's going to eat it. It clinks next to Steve's with a more aggressive emphasis than you'd wanted.

You look at him, really look at him, eyes scanning his eyes and his mouth and the way he's holding his shoulders. He's tense. He's anxious. 

"Stevie," you say, and offer him your hand. 

He doesn't take it. "But what?" he asks. 

"I need you to be happy," you say, "how can you be happy if you're always worried about me? And when you're not worried about me it's because you're giving up the things you like doing to be near me." 

Your voice is quiet. It's hard to say all that out loud, one half of you worried he'll laugh in your face and say you've got it all wrong, and the other worried you'll hurt his feelings. 

"I need you." 

"Steve, you–" 

"I do," he says, staring a hole into your thigh, "I need you. I went fucking crazy without you." 

"You would've been okay." If something happened to me. 

He shakes his head. "No, I would've been a mess. Probably forever." 

This isn't the first time you've seen Steve vulnerable, but it's been a long time. He's been your pillar of strength, he's held you through nightmares and moments of unreality. He hadn't once wavered. 

You push onto your feet. You stand in front of him, weaving your fingers into the soft hair at the back of his head. 

"Steve," you say, pulling his head into your chest. You don't continue, wanting to say, Why didn't you tell me you felt like that? 

But he had. Hadn't he? He'd crossed the wilderness in the dead winter on a maybe that you'd be somewhere he could reach. 

His shoulders shift under your hand. You think, horrified, that he might be crying. 

"Steve," you whisper, pressing your lips into his hair. "It's okay. You saved me, you know?" 

"But what if I didn't get there in time? You were all alone. You were tied up," he says.

"I'm sorry." You don't know what else to say. You're so sorry. That he would have to think that, and see you like that. "It's my fault. I'm sorry." 

His arms slide behind your back and lock you in so tightly you feel like each of his fingers is touching your spine. You scramble to keep a hold on him. 

"I– you know, I lost my shit in the communal bathrooms and Robin had to tell me to get ahold of myself," he admits, trying to be lighthearted. He sounds strangled. 

"I didn't know that," you say, your eyes filling with tears. 

You have no clue if Steve is crying now. You think he might be. He's unsteady under your hands, the side of his face buried in your sternum, his hands clinging to you like you're a liferaft at sea. You try to calm him down, and find, ashamed of yourself, that you don't know how. 

"I'm so sorry, Steve," you mumble, sniffing his hair. He smells like your shared soap. 

All you can do is let him hug you. Eventually, his grip loosens, and he pull his face from your torso to look up at you. 

"Squeezing you…" He rubs his hands softly over the places he'd gripped. 

"You didn't hurt me. You'd have to try way harder than that, Harrington," you say. 

He reaches up for your face and you let him take it, bending at the waist for a kiss. You ignore the dampness under his eyes at first, thinking maybe that's what he wants. You kiss him all wonky in your desperation to feel it, and you laugh wetly as you lean back. 

You wipe his cheeks. "I love you," you say, and you both fill up with tears again. 

"This is embarrassing," Steve says, laughing with you.

You nod fiercely. Super embarrassing. 

You wouldn't have it any other way, though. You throw your arms around his neck for a second time and kiss the top of his head until you can't feel your lips.

[capybaraonabicycle]

Iced lemon tea

Earl grey tea

Iced coffee

😁

Thank you for the ask <3

Iced Lemon Tea : Favorite song/band?

That changes like every month 😅 The Longest Johns were my top spotify wrapped artists last year, but I continue to be very fond of Dota and cavetown as well. My longest lasting love is for Abba though, and my favourite song of theirs would probably be - oh, I really can't say. I definitely love 'The Winner Takes it All' and 'Chiquitita' and 'Mamma Mia' a lot.

I recently listened to 'Bang-A-Boomerang' for the first time, though, and it is adorable? At least the music video is? So if you happen to have missed that one until now, like me, and you generally enjoy Abba, maybe have a listen?

Early Grey Tea : The inevitable Zombie Apocalypse is upon us! What’s your plan of action?

Okay, so my parents are some sort of preppers? They don't have a full panic room in their house or anything, but they have food and water for ages and wood and a fireplace and a radio that works with solar energy. So, I would try to get to their place and team up (in case they aren't infacted yet). And like, sadly covid has been a good way of evaluating who among the people you know are very likely to be stupid and get bitten immediately (because they don't believe in zombies even when scientists are telling them to run), so I have a list of people I would definitely stay away from.

And then I'd probably die within a week anyway.

Not the point of the question, but may I recommend you my favourite piece of zombie apocalypse art? It's a BlackBoxTV production starring the amazing Mary Kate Wiles and Monica Joy Sherer. It is heartbreaking and morbidly funny and I had to watch it several times to grasp the little details of what exactly was going on:

So, yeah, I've learnt all my tricks there and from tgwdlm -> meaning I'm definitely screwed.

Iced Coffee : Do you like reading? If so, what’s your favorite book?

I like reading and I don't do it nearly enough. I adored Tschick (Why we took the car), and have read it like 5 times, so I usually say that's my favourite book. But I think, actually, most of my favourite books are children books? Like Something else by Kathryn Cave (illustrations by Chris Riddell). It is one of the most beautiful books out there. Just, look at that art:

Isn't it gorgeous?

And, Idk, the little animal trying to fit in and it just doesn't work, because no matter how hard they try to imitate the other animals, it always looks just a little different? Until someone else who is different comes along and then he doesn't have to fit in? They can just be something else together? That just really resonates with kids who feel like they don't fit in either, I guess

In case you don't know it, there are several people reading it aloud on yt. Like this one is lovely, f.ex.:

Also, omg are you seeing that Something else has a stuffed animal that looks like him? That is literal perfection. (Also, like, I don't want to spoil the ending but the ending is amazing.)

(Also I just realised Tschick is basically also about a boy who doesn't fit in whose life becomes so much better when he makes friends with the other boy in class who is cast out, so, yeah, I am seeing something of a theme there.)

[gravitycoil]

5/26/23

I actually did have a dream abt l4d I had ran into Ellis, Zoey, coach and.... Rochelle I think. I was like holy shit I know who you guys are and they were like ??? uhh cool and they let me join their group. I mention Bill and Zoey like stops me and puts her hand on my shoulder and is like "How do you know about Bill?" I don't remember what I said but Zoey's been trying to find him for a while. I tell her I'll help find him. By the way there's no zombies like the apocalypse is over. We all head into this city and into an alleyway where they lived together inside and abandoned apartment(?) there was a bunch of graffiti on the walls and the door was red but had paint chipping off of it and stickers on it. They usually hid the door behind a big wooden pallet. We're in the room and we somehow find out bills approximate location. We head out and I see him first of all he didn't look like himself like at all he was yassified in my dream HHDFGHJHDXVB he also was really fucking tall Im like holy shit it's Bill but he doesn't recognize any of us and also he has a job where he refills the potholes/cracks in the road fdfhgff (apocalypse really got to him) he doesn't recognize us and just hands me a bucket of this cement stuff and he's like "well since you're here we could use some help" and I just stand there with this bucket looking at him like ok... Eventually something really bad happens and there's a building falling down next to us and we have to run away from the death zone and hope nothing lands on us. I run into a building a bit away from the collapsing one and just hope nothing falls on this one. That's all I remember of the l4d dream. I dream shifted after that

my dream shift was that I was friend-enemies with Jigsaw and I made a deal with him that he could try to kill me if he could tag me so I was always alert and looking around for him I'm like friends with this girl I don't remember why we had to go into a giant building but we take a bus and we eventually get to the place we run in cause I didn't want to get tagged by jigsaw eventually I feel safe and let my guard down and the lights go off and I try looking around but can't find anything. I look back at my friend who wasn't there anymore I like mentally go oh no and back myself into a corner where I bump into jigsaw and hes just like "well you lost. I get to make a game with you now" and I'm like. great. The lights come back on and basically the first game was me choosing a random hiding spot and seeing if he could find me while various traps go off in random hiding locations. I try being real quiet and he brings out this trap that was basically a big rolling pin with blades around it and every so often they would shoot out in random directions. Some of them hit me but ig I'm built different and I don't even flinch or am hurt. He could hear my blood running down the floor and he gets out another trap that basically vaporized you unless you were inside a black box like shape I find one and hide in it I also have to close my eyes every time it goes off because it emits a blinding white light. I don't remember what happened next but eventually I lose again and he kills me by biting half my head off it didn't hurt it just sucked. Weird dream.

[pacifymebby]

Pls can you do a HC for the lads looking after you when you’re scared like after you’ve watched a scary movie and can’t sleep 😘🥰❤️

Van

💮 teases you and calls you a baby for being scared

💮 is secretly just as scared as you

💮 glad you can't sleep because he gets to play the hero and cuddle you and isn't alone feeling scared of the dark himself

💮 definitely enjoys winding you up saying things like "wait, what was that... did you hear that too?"

💮 tells you not to worry cause he's there, he can protect you from anything

Bondy

💮 It was definitely his idea to watch a scary movie, only managed to convince you to watch it with him by telling you its not that scary and you can watch it in the daytime. 

💮 puts something funny on afterwards to distract you

💮 jokes about the film to make it less scary, points out all the dumb and ridiculous things that happened

💮 probably tells you you're much to smart to get killed off in a horror film, says you’d be the sexy final girl

💮 distracts you with sex then reminds you that if you have sex in a horror film you die.

Benji

💮 Is honestly surprised you're scared by it because you guys usually laugh at this kind of shit. 

💮 teases you at first but when he realises how scared you are he feels bad and is super sweet to you

💮 Won't let you sleep with the light on but will sit up stroking your hair and stuff until you're asleep. 

💮 Puts on of his earphones in your ears and plays Pokemon music till you fall asleep

💮 If all else fails he will stay up with you all night.

Bob

💮 "Why did we choose to watch this again?"

💮 Is more scared than you when the movies on but afterwards you're the one who is more scared. He's only tense when he's watching it. You're jumpy for hours afterwards.

💮 Sits and dissects the plot and all the kills until he's completely pulled apart the whole film. Points out all the things that wouldn't really happen. Points out all the ways the victim could have escaped and been fine. 

💮 When it comes to going to sleep he already knows you're gonna be a big wuss about it so is already prepared to be up a long time whilst you jump at any and every noise. Every time you ask "did you hear that," he sighs, "yes, it was the radiators, yes it was next door, yes it was the wind..." 

💮 Too smart to be scared, tells you you're too smart to be scared too. Hugs and kisses and is very soft with you but "cmon y/n, you know it's not a zombie apocalypse outside...why would there be one lone zombie stumbling around the house...." or "people only get murdered by people they know... is your brother Norman bates? no..."

Sam

💮 The softest and sweetest boy but also a complete shit about it. Looks after you and comforts you but makes sure you know how daft you're being. 

💮 "Oh aye cause everybody knows the duvet has often stopped a serial killer in his tracks," "yknow the whole if I can't see them they can't see me isn't actually true yeah love?" 

💮 Finds it all very amusing when you jump at sudden noises but is there to give you a cuddle and tell you not to be scared. 

💮 knows that if you don't fall asleep in his lap whilst you're watching the TV or something then you aren't going to fall asleep at all so even if you claim not to be that scared by the end of the day he's making sure you're cuddled up with him watching the sopranos or something until you fall asleep. 

💮 When you wake up in the middle of the night from a bad dream he opens his arms and pulls you up to sleep on his chest. Sleepy kisses and playing with your hair. 

💮 Definitely the "you don't need to be scared, daddy's gan protect you" type