If you fall, catch you I will.
No. Not if but when. Yoda had said, When you fall, catch you I will. Had he known even then, seventy years ago, that this day would come?
Surely even Yoda could not guess that his star pupil would fall so very, very far.
"Come," Yoda said urgently. He put his hand once more on Dooku's arm. "Catch you, I said I would."
"Believe you must: more forgiveness will you find from your old Master than from the new one."
-Yoda: Dark Rendezvous by Sean Stewart
Part 2
Review:
This book brings a whole new light to Yoda's character! Seeing how fleshed out he is in the book, I find that I understand more of how right he is and have a newfound respect for him!
We are familiar with the Jedi’s non attachment and controlling of their emotions. With this it may seem like Yoda and the Council lacks empathy or care. But then this book gives us passages like this one from him:
Sometimes we forget that in Yoda's 800 years, he has lost more and endured more than Dooku would want to see. It doesn't mean he completely wiped out his emotions. Yoda even still carries the grief and loss.
Although, Dooku did have noble intentions, he wanted swift action to the injustices. He was not wrong to question the suffering all over the galaxy. A padawan also states the same-
And Yoda acknowledges it. There is darkness in everything, and it is a choice on what you do about the darkness. "Be the candle or the night."
This is how Dooku gets manipulated by Palpatine. Dooku by following the easy way(Dark side) became the coming darkness he always warned about. He served the Master who killed his padawan, his son. In the end, he killed more than he could've saved. It's tragic.
AND THIS is my favorite part of the book.
-After all these years, Yoda still gave him the choice to come back home to him. Because that is the Jedi way. That is the light. It is forgiveness as much as it is love. The Jedi, love! 🥺
#also it just occurred to me, throughout the book, Yoda pokes his fellow Jedi with his stick like the troll grandpa he is. But when it comes to Dooku he reaches for him with his arms. 🥺🥺
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I am begging people to use LibreOffice and personal storage devices like hard drives or USB sticks instead of relying 100% on Google Docs. LibreOffice is free and open-source, it saves files to your own computer, and it lets you save as many different file types. You can write in it, format ebooks in it, and do everything you might possibly need to do as a writer.
"Oh, but I'll lose my USB stick--" Fine, back things up in whatever cloud you use as a form of extra protection, but you should also try your absolute damnedest to also put them on some form of storage that isn't a cloud.
I know it's not accessible to everyone, but if you at all have the ability, don't rely on shit that lives on other people's computers. Especially with everything going on with AI theft and aggressive censorship of adult media. If you don't store your files on your own personal computer that you have control over, your files aren't fully yours, and they're at the whims of whoever owns the cloud.
Learn where your files are stored and how to access them. Get into the habit of backing up your files to your own personal storage. Even if you're not up for intense tech research and you don't care about how the computer actually works, please stop letting your art live in corporate clouds.
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my personal favorite interpretation of Nico's confession to Percy in BoO and Percy's reaction is that. Nico was one foot in the grave at the time - heavily injured, exhausted, probably suffering from blood loss, actively turning into shadows, etc etc. And he mentions himself several times that he's not acting quite like himself, such as smiling a lot and his mind wandering and his vision being unsure. Dude is OUT OF IT. He is one strong breeze away from crumpling on the floor and falling unconscious for multiple days (again).
a.) no wonder Will was like "three days in the infirmary now. you will melt into a puddle if you try and summon a wishbone." cause Nico was probably standing there with a glassy look in his eyes waving like a leaf in the wind on the verge of collapsing.
b.) just imagine Percy's pov: The guy you've known for three years stumbles up to you on the verge of death, clearly still bleeding and half-fading into nothingness. Obviously a little delirious at best. Normally he's extremely awkward talking to people and hates physical interaction and every time he talks to you he looks like he wants to run away as fast as possible. You are 80% sure he wants you dead but is trying to be polite about it. He walks up to you with the confidence only someone suffering from extreme dehydration/major blood loss on the verge of passing out can have, tells you that you're not his type, high-fives your girlfriend (who you thought he had a crush on?) (you weren't even sure he knew what high-fives were. you're still not sure he does) and stumbles off without finishing the conversation. You ask your girlfriend if she understands what the hell just happened. She has no idea either. You decide to chalk it up to him having no idea what was going on either.
Three days later Nico wakes up in the infirmary in a cold sweat, having remembered that interaction and goes "WHAT HAVE I DONE?!"
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Steve’s best relationship wasn’t even a relationship. He could barely call it a fling, a flirt. They never even went on a date. They never kissed.
Steve still thinks of it as the best whatever-it-is he has ever had with someone.
At the beginning it was mostly infuriating, how quickly Eddie managed to win the kids over, compared to Steve’s months of work as babysitter/nailbat swinger/monster fighter. Steve had to literally bleed multiple times to get an ounce of respect, Eddie only had to run a nerdy club about fictional bleeding and monster-fighting.
Then somehow, and Steve still has trouble pinpointing when and how it happened, everything changed.
Taking the kids back home from hellfire became something he impatiently waited for.
He and Eddie would barely talk for a few minutes and he would find himself replaying the conversation in his head for days. Anything he could say to get a reaction out of Eddie became fundamental, and if he started by picking subjects to piss him off, he ended learning about Eddie’s favorites, because few minutes after hellfire were never enough and Steve needed Eddie to talk as much as possible, until the kids were begging to drop it and go home.
Steve never questioned the change, most likely out of fear. He doesn’t think he ever was clueless, just really scared about what would potentially mean to be staring at another dude’s eyelashes as he goes on a rant about why Ozzy Osbourne is the best artist of his generation. Or blush whenever said dude would call him “baby”, or “sweetheart”.
Steve convinced himself that the thing he and Eddie were having was as good as it was going to get, nothing more.
Then Chrissy Cunningham died, Eddie ran, and Steve realized that the thing will never be enough for him.
He couldn’t not have Eddie. Not watch him as he entertains a bunch of freshmen, as he stomps with his worn out sneakers on top of forniture, as he puts his terrible music on to push away anyone who doesn’t care enough about him to stay.
Steve needed to see Eddie being alive, doing what his heart desires, and he needed to be next to him when he does.
Obviously, this realization came at the worst possible time.
Steve tried to tell him so many times: when they found him at the boathouse, when he was hiding at refer Rick’s house, when they were taking a stroll in the upside down, and even when they were driving a stolen trailer to a gunshop.
But, it seemed, Eddie had come to a realization just as important and he tried his best to avoid Steve at every given chance.
Steve tried to initiate the conversation as Eddie did his best to run away from it. And he ran until Steve had no chances left to tell him how he actually felt.
———
Steve doesn’t know if he’s allowed to say he lost something he never had. To mourn a relationship he never began. A partner that, technically, never became a partner.
After Eddie dies, Steve has no one to be next to but he can’t say he ever did.
Steve just exists waiting. He can’t tell if he’s waiting for the pain to go away or for Eddie to jump out of a bush and yell “ah! I got you sucker!! By the way, I’m in love with you too.”
For obvious reasons, that never happens.
What does happen, is a call.
It’s a normal Tuesday, as normal as you could define it after Hawkins almost collapsed into the upside down. Steve got into a routine, between checking on the ones at the hospital, helping out at the shelter, allowing Robin to check on him to see if he’s still alive.
The call happens while Robin is doing her kitchen check up - aka making sure he has food and that he’s eating it-, so she picks the phone like she did a million times before.
“Harrington residence, this is Robin” she says, cheerfully.
Steve doesn’t pay much attention to it as he’s folding his dad’s old clothes that intends to donate to the shelter, until he hears Robin’s loud gasp.
“What is it? Is it the hospital? Is it Max?” He rushes to the other room where Robin is.
She doesn’t answer but she gives him a look as she passes him the receiver.
Steve goes quiet, a million thoughts going through his head as he takes the phone from Robin.
He’s still unprepared when he hears that unmistakable voice “Baby”.
Steve gasps for breath “Eddie?”
Is that really you? What happened? Are you hurt? Isn’t this impossible? Is what goes on in Steve’s head, but he ends up just asking “are you okay?”
He can hear a chuckle, Eddie’s wicked chuckle, a further confirmation that it is him, “I’m- hanging in there… are you okay?”
Steve finds the question absurd. He isn’t the one who got left in the upside down, the one that got eaten by demonic bats, the one who died before Steve had the chance to tell him how he felt.
He answers truthfully nonetheless, “I’m… I’m not okay.”
“I’ll be there soon, I promise.”
“Please Eddie, come quick.”
“I’ll break the sound barrier for you.”
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