#and yeah basically i cant LEAVE the best bread that has ever been made

[cjadewyton]

I could never move too far away from my childhood home not for any like nostalgic reasons but because my local bread shop is SO FUCKIN G GOOOOOOOOOOOD and the few times I’ve travelled interstate I have SUFFERED without it

So soft

So fresh

So tasty

[tomdiddlyumptious]

T.H| the cliché coffee shop

Summary: tom owns a coffee shop, and then you walk in?

Warnings: love and first sight?

Im actually just emptying my drafts

Tom smiled, holding the news paper in his hands as he sat at the small black table, the radio playing and he connected his foot with the ground a few times with the beat, a coffee mug with the avengers on it, hes such a big fan.

Tom had always been a cheerful person, a calm and collective person, all he really wants in his life is a kid honestly, a little boys hair to ruffle and a little girl’s armpits to tickle. But he was waiting for the right one, for the right one to notice him and ask him how his day is going, no he isnt a virgin, he just wants the actual wake up feel, this is the one feel.

So when he heard the bell ring for the front door, an immediate smile came on his face, looking at the woman who was clutching her purse, her hair flat ironed at its own length and a yellow and white poke-a-dot dress, a white sharp collar and white pumps, a nice smile on her red colored lips from her matte lipstick.

“Hello” he said, setting down the newspaper, his eyes meeting the females as she gently waved “hi! I just wanted a cup of coffee”

“Well come on!” He chuckled, standing up and walking behind his stance, putting on a pink apron making you smile.

“Pink?” “Ehh my daughter chose it for me” he smiled, “thats cute!” You both laughed, usually any other woman or man would ask how old he is and hes pretty young to have a child, so a gentle smile stayed on his face when he noticed you know how to keep boundaries.

“How do you like your coffee?” You shrugged at his words “ive never drank coffee before” his mouth dropped at your words “never?” “Never” you giggled. “Im gonna make you the best coffee youve ever had, just sit over there” he smiled, pointing at the table he was at and you nodded your head, walking over and sittting down.

You bobbed your head a bit to the tunes, humming with a smile on your face, tom turned back to you while he was running the espresso machine “your a nice singer” and you jumped with that, looking over at him while your eyebrows furrowed.”i hummed?” “you know what i meant!” he groaned making you both laugh. he continued to make it and decided to make you some fancy bread with some chocolate dip on a small white glass before sitting across from you, “carefull, its hot” he chuckled, placing it infront of you with a wide smile on his face. “thank youuu” you smiled, before a small human came in through the door, the bell ringing “princesss!” tom said, holding out his arms “Daddyyy!” a small high pitched voice yelled, jumping in toms lap and hugging him tightly, you smiled watching as you waited for the coffee to cool down. 

“hiii darling? how are you?” he said, looking down at the girl. “im good! hazzy took me shopping!” she cheered, lifting the small bag. “shes cute” you smiled, the little girl looked at you before waving with her eyes closed and her mouth open with a wide smile, her two front teeth missing making you coo “aww”

she has long hair, just below her small shoulders, hair golden brown, her nose like her fathers, just if it wasnt broken, she didnt have the same eye color though, its blue, her bottom lip bigger then the top one. “i know, shes such a sweetheart” tom said, watching as his daughter took the bread and chocolate “hey! thats our guests bread!” tom said, she let out a small sorry as her bottom lip quivered. “its okay, you can have it” you smiled at her, before lifting the coffee to sip, but instead you accidently spit it out, his daughter laughed while toms eyebrows furrowed in panic, you looked up at him with a crooked smile “its hot”

tom let out a sigh of relief, holding his heart with his empty hand “thank god, i thought you were thinking it tasted bad” “never!” you smiled, the small princess grabbed hopped out of toms lap to grab the brown napkins as you made conversation with tom. “shes a sweetheart” “ehh i do my best” he shrugged, looking at you with a side smile. “my names tom by the way” he offered a hand over the table “my names y/n” you placed your hand in his with a smile. 

“my names Cameron!” she picked in, handing you the napkins “nice to meet you cameron!” you smiled, taking the napkins trying to clean up the mess before tom grabbed your wrist “oh-” “sorry, you know you dont have to do that” he smiled at you, unconsciously hanving his hand ontop of yours. “i-its fine! i want to” you smiled at him, “you sure?” “yeah” you nodded, cameron turning on the radio. Smiling when her favorite song came on, no it wasnt the song now-a-days it was the song in cinderella.

So this is love?

Cameron danced around the shop while tom watched you finish, you felt his eyes burning into your soul so you looked up at him, a smile on your face as you shyed away, he grabbed the napkin away from you to throw it away. “You and y/n should dance to this song!” Cameron said, smiling at her dad while his face turned a shade red.

“I dont think y/n would like that” he chuckled, looking at you while you shrugged “it doesn’t matter to me” a light chuckle left your lips. And with that Cameron raced to grab your hand, tugging you to her father and pushing you into him “oh!-“ you fell in his chest and he held you, you looked up at him and he had a faded smile on his face.

“You know how to dance, right?” She asked you, and you nodded “i think we both know daddy cant dance” she said making you and tom laugh, Cameron took his dads hands, placing them on her hips “hold on them tight!” She ordered.

So this is what makes life, divine?

Your hands came onto his shoulders, smiling at him. “Alright! Sway sway!” She ordered, you and tom started to do the classical dance, just slower. Making eye contact and searching in them for any kind of answer, Cameron smiled and ate the bread while she watched.

And then he got a cold chill. Are you the one?

No, that wasn’t possible. You only met today and your both dancing to a childish disney song, his hands are on your hips....your noses basically touching...is this love?

You on the other hand werent really worried about it, you already knew you had a small thing for him after he put on his pink apron with a smile on his face, such a charming one.

Tom dipped you making you panic a little, before coming back up a little to fast making your lips touch, tom didnt know if it was on purpose but he took the chance, he kissed you, his hand on the back of your head while your eyes widened before you closed them, kissing him back and holding onto the back of his neck. His lips soft, feeling like clouds.

Soooo this issss loveeeee~

Loud claps were heard in the background, some childish laughs leaving the girls lips as tom slowly pulled back, opening his eyes and looking at you. “I-uh sorry-“ “nono...I enjoyed it” you patted his chest, dusting off the apron he still had on, “more then the coffee?” Laughs left both of your lips. “Wanna-wanna go on a date sometime?” “Heyyy! Im still here!” Cameron waved. “With Cameron of course” he smiled, and you nodded. “Yeah- why not?”

[illfoandillfie]

5 Simple Rules for a Successful Relationship: Blurb

This wasn’t requested by anyone but the idea has been kicking around my head basically since I wrote the Ben POV chapter

Warnings for fluff and smut but it’s all very soft

5 Simple Rules Series Masterlist

Blurb Advent Day 1

Taglist since it’s part of a series: @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @taron-egrotten @johndeaconshands @borhapbois @stardust-galaxies 

@coni-martina @hardforbenhardy @cubedtriangle @vicouscirce @arianabrashierstuff @pattieboydwannabe @maggieroseevans @theprettyandthereckless @friccinfricks 

Ben had it all planned out. He’d known how he was going to ask for a while, before he’d even picked out the ring. But, so far, he hadn’t been able to put his plan into action. As much as he wanted to ask it never quite felt like the right time. There was always something going on, somewhere to be – work or dinner with friends or general errands to sort out. But he knew how he wanted it to happen. He’d cook dinner, your favourite meal of course, followed by dessert made from scratch, really bring out the big guns. Afterwards he’d put on some music, a playlist of love songs he’d been adding to for months now, maybe ask you to dance. It was a little corny but sometimes corny was okay. Later on he’d pop into the kitchen and pull out your two mugs and place the ring in the bottom of yours before returning to the couch to sit with you. And then, at the usual time, he’d say he could really go with a hot drink before bed. He knew you’d volunteer to make them since he’d made dinner so he’d wait for you to leave the room before following. He’d listen for the gasp of surprise when you checked the mugs and saw the ring. That would be his cue to step into the room and get down on one knee and ask you to marry him. He had the speech ready to go too, knew what he wanted to say. How fast he’d fallen for you, how glad he was you were with him, how much he loved you.

Thinking about actually popping the question made Ben nervous. But the good kind of nervous. Of course the topic of weddings and marriage had come up before, abstractly. It was nearly unavoidable when his mum would not-so-subtly check for an engagement ring every time you visited, and then even less so when Gwilym got engaged and invited you both to the party. So he’d asked you about it, whether you had ever considered the whole settling down thing – marriage, kids, white picket fence, the lot. He was pleased to find out you liked the idea, had even imagined what the future might be like with him. The only thing you didn’t want was a public proposal which Ben fully supported. After all the attention you’d received as a result of the relationship, all the magazine articles and snapped photos while you were just trying to buy milk and bread, it felt wrong to voluntarily make such a private situation public. Ben was sure you’d be asked about it in future interviews and on social media and he wouldn’t mind sharing the story then, after he was sure you’d say yes. He had no reason to believe you wouldn’t but there was always that slight uncertainty, that intrusive doubt that made him wonder if you’d just tell him to bugger off instead. He found comfort in the plan though. Knowing exactly what he would do was reassuring. But even the best laid plans weren’t guaranteed.

Ben’s actual proposal caught him off guard as much as it did you. It was early on a Saturday, sometime between two and three. Usually you’d both be fast asleep but instead you were stumbling into the house, lit only by the grey light of the morning. You hadn’t meant to stay at the afterparty for so long but people kept handing you drinks and drawing you into conversations and music was still pumping through the speakers and before you knew it five more minutes had become a couple of extra hours. Ben emptied his pockets onto the hall stand as he watched you lean against the front door and kick off your shoes. He couldn’t resist catching you in a quick kiss before he wrapped his arm around you with a soft, “C’mon cuddle bunny,” and lead you towards the bathroom. Both of you set about brushing teeth and washing faces and changing into pyjamas. He chuckled as he watched you extract an almost obscene amount of bobby pins from your hair before you retied it to sleep in. But, even after everything was done and you’d both climbed under the covers, sleep didn’t come. Ben, eyes closed in an attempt to trick sleep into taking him, felt you move under his arm and peeked through his lashes to find you facing him.

“You okay?” His voice was hushed though there was no real need and when you responded yours was too.“Yeah just not really tired,” “Me neither,” “Do you wanna…?” “Now?” “Well just lying here waiting to drop off is a bit boring but I also don’t really feel like getting up,” “Alright then, why not.” “If you fall asleep half way through I won’t hold it against you,” “Shut up and take your pants off,” Ben laughed, already wriggling out of his. “You just didn’t sound very enthusiastic,” “I am always enthusiastic about this,” Ben forgot everything else he might have said as you pulled him into a kiss.

The sex itself was okay. Nothing special really. You’d had better sex plenty of other times, though you’d also had worse. The best way to describe it was fine. It wasn’t mind blowing but it was comfortable and reliable and fine. Ben felt a little clumsy as he kissed you back, his hand roaming over your side and down to your arse. He supposed the dark of the room and the drinks you’d both put down over the course of the night were having an impact, but, by the way you giggled against his lips, it seemed you found it cute more than anything else. To compensate for his inelegant fingers, Ben moved slowly, enjoying kissing you as much as he could. He hummed when you slid your hand down between your bodies and found his dick, stroking it unhurriedly. There wasn’t a need to go faster, no built up passion to release. The sex was a way to kill some time. Even when you hooked your leg over his and he sank into you, nothing really changed. But Ben knew what you liked and did his best to hit those spots as he wrapped his arms around you and kissed you again. He decided he must be doing something right based off the small keening noises you made. All the same he didn’t expect your next outburst, said softly right against his lips.

“God Ben, I want you inside me forever,” It slipped out before he could second guess himself, “Then marry me,” “What?” Ben paused his movement, not totally sure he’d actually said it until he drew back enough to look at you and saw the stunned expression you wore. His heart pounded as he realised this was it, this was the moment, “Might be easier to do that if we’re married is all. So, will you? Will you marry me?” It took a few moments for the question to sink in but once it had you nodded in agreement. You felt the same. “Yes?” “Yes.” “Yeah? You’ll marry me?” “Yes, yes, I’ll marry you,” Ben broke out into a grin and swept you into another kiss though he cut it off abruptly, “Wait, hold on,” somewhat ungracefully Ben pulled out of you and rolled out of the bed, switching on a lamp and heading over to his chest of draws. He dug around in one for a moment before he pulled out a small box which he brought back to the bed. Kneeling in front of you, he popped the box open to show you the ring before taking it and sliding it onto your finger.

You couldn’t help but stare, holding you hand out in front of you to see how it looked. It was beautiful, not too over the top but not exactly understated either, and it fit perfectly. When you raised you eyes back to Ben’s face you noticed his eyes glistening. “I love it Ben, I love you,” “I love you too Y/N,” he whispered back, kissing you again and laying you back down.

As Ben sank back into you, you placed your hand on his chest, picking up his body heat except where the cool metal of the ring lay. You could feel his heart beating under your palm as he rolled his hips against you, trying to finish what you’d started. It took a little while longer, though things moved less slowly than they had before the interruption of the proposal. Ben dropped his fingers to your clit as he felt you getting closer, drawing gentle circles until the warm wave rolled through you, pulling a soft sigh from your lips. He kept his fingers there as if to try to give you another orgasm, maybe one not quite so soft, but you pulled his hand away, linking his fingers with yours as you kissed his throat and encouraged him to finish too. It didn’t matter that your orgasm hadn’t been particularly powerful. All that mattered was that Ben was with you and he always would be.

Afterwards you curled up, leaning your head on Ben’s chest, his arm around you. He sighed contentedly and kissed the top of your head. “So much for sleeping,” he chuckled. “What we did was better than sleep,” “Definitely. And if we hold out for a little longer we could watch the sunrise,” “I don’t know if I’ll last that long,” “No, me neither. It’d be nice though,” You agreed and lapsed into a comfortable silence. And then a thought struck you, “You know, we’re going to need a cover story,” “What?” “People are going to want to hear the story of how you proposed. Felicity, Joe, Gwil, the rest of our friends, our families, not to mention paparazzi and the press, they’ll all ask.”  “Fuck.” “So you don’t want to look your mother in the eye and explain it happened mid shag either? Good to know we’re on the same page,” Ben laughed, “Funnily enough, that was very unplanned. I had something much more romantic and better prepared in mind when I thought about how I’d do it. A whole big speech about you being the love of my life and how I want to spend every day of my life making you feel happy and safe and loved,” “Go on then, what was it,” Ben explained his original idea, about the dinner and the mugs, all the while playing with your fingers as if he didn’t want to break contact.  “That does sound wonderful, but I have to admit, I really love how it actually happened,” “Me too,” he laughed, “But that’s good. Because now we have a story to tell everyone and a slightly more accurate story just for ourselves.”

[idjitlili]

What can I say I like a climb.

Thorin xhalf elf!reader

A/n:Bruh imagine having a crush on Andy from the office before just because you had a dream about him dressing up as Gaston and coming to your old high school only to see you slip on the grass. Yeah it happened a couple of months ago when I was still in high school

Summary:growing up as Gandalf's adopted daughter ,being apart of the company only to pass through Rivendell,only to make thorin rage with jealousy

Word count:1921

It was no secret that Gandalf wasnt your real father, you both looked nothing a like. However this didnt stop him loving you like you were his actual child,you werent sure if wizard could have children. You wondered if he ever got horny,it disturbed you but you did wonder. Anyways yiu didnt know your parents ,they were killed by orcs ,Gandalf found you crying as babe ,and thats all you know. You were half elf ,half human ,mostly Thorin didnt like that very much when he found out ,it just meant you lived longer than a human would.

So how you ended up in the company of Thorin Oakenshield was; simply because Gandalf didnt want to leave you with the elves again ,or leave you at home where you could be in more danger. You were more than capable of defending yourself,due to your many vists with Elrond they had trained you very well. You also became best friends with Lindir since he was responsible for most of your training ,plus being your tutor. Lindir was also abandoned as a child but was taken in by Elrond. He grew to become a marchwaden.

Lindir was a shy elf ,as were you ,yet around each other you were very comfortable. Many of your visits he would have to carry to your room ,because you had fallen asleep against him looking at the stars while he told you a story. You both very much enjoyed each others company.

However your feelings towards the dwarven king were much different to how you felt about Lindir. You knew you liked him as soon as you saw him at Bag end ,yes you were very much taken back by his looks ,you swear you fell in love with him right then and there. Of course you thought he could never like you ;he's a bloody king. Oh how wrong you were. He had no choice but to allow you on this quest ,being gandalf,s daughter and all. Gandalf told him to basically to shut the fuck up ,you were coming.

Thorin would never admit it but he did always make sure you were safe,and eating ,covering up with shes such a burden,or whatever. What about when he found out you were part elf? Yeah so you had just bathed and your hair was wet and pushed back and he saw your ears he was like

"you are fucking elf?" he had literally grabbed your elf ,whilst you were standing up ,looking at it ,you had groaned at the contact. Lets pretend that didnt make want Thorin touch your ears more roughly."part,not full,cant you tell compared to elves im an orge." and with that you had pulled your ear from his dwarven fingers walking away. He was left in shock ,how you could thik so low of yourself. shrek is hot though,but you thought you were an ugly orge.Thorin didnt like elves,but he definitly liked you had thought you were absolutely beautiful. With your e/c eyes ,h/l h/c hair,your height ,our form your personality everhting.

Anyways you had just arrived at Rivendell,Lindir hadnt seen you in a while ,and hadnt noticed you yet. You were led to dinner ,with was all veg,you had to agree with ori you could do with some chips right about now,or even some lembas bread. You werent surprised that he didnt recognise you you had developed more in body wise plus you were muddy and wearing a big coat and hat. He had looked for you when he saw Gandalf but when he couldnt see you he assumed you were at home ,he was disappointed..

Kili was sat next to you and Bofur ,he was admiring the elves,saying they didnt have enough facial half. "though that one isnt  bad." he had gestured to a male elf,making the whole company burst out with laughter. "that isnt a  elf maiden." kili face flashed red in embarrassment. You had nudged him still giggling "dont worry,young prince, I know which male elf I would fuck too." you had smirked eyeing lindir ,of course you wouldnt but if you had to you would. The company had laughed again "shes got a dirty mouth laddies." dwalin had pipped up, you smirked pulling off your coat and hat,as the company watched in confusion.

Standing up running over to Lindir ,jumping up onto him wrapping your legs around his waist,arms around his/ next. The company had gasped in shock."is she allowed to do that...?" bilbo had questioned,Thorin watched with a scowl on his face,Dwalin noticed laughing at his friend ,who scoffed. You had pressed a kiss to Lindir's cheek,who's arms now went around your back holding you to him,securely. "mellon, Its been a time." he had spoke placing you down,hugging you briefly. "it has indeed , I missed my bestfriend." you stood in front of him ,smiling ,thorin was still not convinced he was just your friend.

 "youve grown mellon nin." he smiled ,speaking quietly trying to ignore the dwarves ,Thorin almost scoffed louder than a waterfall,as it was obvious what he meant.  The dwarves watched carefually as the next  thing out your mouth really made them think that they really didnt know you. "I know! my breasts have grown finally!" you had literally squished your boobs together over your tunic,making lindir blush in embarrassment ,but laughing. Kili  and fili had watched you ,before looking at their uncle smirking ,he didnt even look at them.  " i meant your slyness," you had giggled at him before hugging him again,before informing him you would talk to him later ,joining the dwarves again.

In which they all stared at you intensely. "so ,you and the elf then?" kili had spoken ,nudging you in the ribs like you had down to him earlier. "yeah we are bestfriends." thorin had scoffed,you had looked at him confused at this gesture. "just friends? right" his tone stern and disbelieving."we have been friends since I was a babe,thats all." you tried to hold eye contact with  thorin but he just looked away with a hard expression. "but you said you rough it up with him." Dwalin tried defending his best bud. "it was a joke thats it,hes my bestfriend that all. not that it is any of your bloody businesses. " you stood up abruptly. "thank you elrond for dinner ,may I be excused."he had simply nodded his head ,you gathered your coat,and hat one for Lindir to come over taking them leading to you to your room.

His hand on your mid back,leading you away from the drama ,Thorin had watched you leave almost gulity for making you upset. Once he had gotten you to your room he had began to sort you a bath ,brushing through your tangled hair first,slowly getting you to relax."Ooooh I'm a dwarf I can give a joke ,but I cant take one, also my nose is bigger than my dick" you had mocked as Lindir finished your hair ,pulling you up shoving you in the bathroom. "you know they are only doing it because Thorin thinks you like me and not him. You mouth gapped open as he shut the bath room door aallowing your privacy.

You couldnt sstop thinking about what Lindir said so much so once you were in your night gown ,exiting the bathroom to meet with Lindir for a stroll in the gardens. You had tripped on your own feet, and Lindir didnt see as he was reading a  book in a chair.  Turns out you landed badly on your wrist ,screamed out in pain,Lindir became sonic rushing to you.You didnt even get a chance to explain before he rushed you to the healers. In which they gave you some herbs for the pain and wrapped up your sprained wrist,putting it into a sling.  

Lindir had held out his arm for you ,and led you to a bench in the gardens  ,your damp hair pushing it out your face in annoyance. Lindir notices this forces you to sit down,before he braids it swiftly ,before a voive clears their throat. Lindir finishes tying the braid off with a ribbon,he places a hand on your shoulder,before bowing his head at at someone leaving. You turn to see Thorin standing in front of you ,you quickly stand,hiding your arm in robe. You knew he would be furious if he saw what happen. His face is unreadable ,he's scowling as usual.

"uh..hi?" you had spoken unsure where to look,just generally confused why he was here. "you aren't together ,but he braids your hair?" he scowls ,you groan in annoyance,walking closer to him. "you know what you are bloody getting on my nerves, dwarf." you had growled out his eyes go wide slightly at your outburst,before returning into a scowl. "for the last time I am NOT dating lindir. The only reason he was braiding my bloody hair was because I sprained my wrist , and couldnt. Secondly even so he can because to elves and humans braids dont suggest we are bloody fucking." you had pointed your left hand ,pointer finger into his chest harshly. You tried not to go weak at the knees ,feeling the muscle he had on his chest.

Yet Thorin had became unbelievably calm as he forced you to sit with him on the bench,by guiding you with his hand on your mid back. "how did that happen?your arm." his hand reached over to move the robe from covering it,his hand lightly grazing the bare skin on your upper arm. Of course you were wearing an night gown under ,just incase you forgot. "..uh..weell i bathed ,then i walked out and tripped over my own feet ,thats it. Before you say anything thats why I was screaming not because lindir had his dick in me." you looked at him deadly serious ,he had sent you smile which was completely new to you.

"I believe you,y/n. I'm sorry for the way I werent around trying to find out if you were free to court?" you had choked at his words. "wait Lindir was right ,you do want to court me?" you had  almost whispered ,he had nodded at you before you threw your one arm around him,hugging him tight ,which he does the same yet carefually,not wanting hurt your arm more.

"Lindir is going to tease me till the end of time,i swear."

bonus~in greenwood .

"and why does a half elf travel with dwarves." Thranduil had asked you circling you both , in reply you had jumped on Thorin ,wrapping legs around his waist.

"what can I say I like to climb" Thorin smirked at the elven king.

"guards remove her!"

"dont tell my dad!"

[tabletopjourneys]

Session 36 Notes

The session in which I have come to realize that both Selphina’s player and the DM are spelling her nickname Fee instead of Phi. Henceforth, I will be doing the same. Also the session in which we further explore Longview and get to know more people in Rana's home town, help some of them out, get revenge for Harold the alpaca, Stellan gifts Fee with +1 daggers to help protect his sister, and then we head back out on the road for Bouldergap.

@gher-bear​ @aradow​ @telurin​ @epimetala

On this day we continue catching up with various townsfolk of Longview, in particular the ones we meet at The Smiling Dragon tavern/inn.

We get lots of history lessons from the oldest dragonborn ever, tell the story of Perfection (among others), help Jibru the soft-spoken, new-agey orc with her plants (well primarily Rana does this), encourage, Dicho a travelling bard in training on his adventuring break (primarily Diem), and solve the mystery of Shima's missing alpacas.

This involves a revenge one-shot by Fee of the giant owl responsible for killing poor Harold in front of all the other alpacas.

We stop by for one last visit with Rana's mother, Romy, and her brother, Stellan. The latter gives Fee two +1 crafted daggers he made to use in place of her assassin ones she can't be seen with near Bouldergap and Stoneroost.

After that, we're on our way down the road to Bouldergap.

(Read More)

(The Smiling Dragon tavern)

On our way to the tavern, when Diem finds out the name, they rib Rana with a smirk. “The smiling dragon? How sure are you about the tavernkeep?”

Rana ignores them.

It’s probably 2-3pm

The Smiling Dragon has a nice, homey interior and basically looks like the Green Dragon Inn from The Hobbit inside.

The barkeep is behind the bar doing barkeep things.

We see an Aladdin-looking human bard with a lute (Dicho Acaa), a super ancient female dragonborn (Gran Tewafey; one of those ladies who are now just too old to die), and the barkeep-owner, Grismor Fefoki, behind the bar.

Rana knows both the barkeep and elderly dragonborn (no mention of knowing the bard, so I assume not). The elderly dragonborn, Gran, has looked this old ever since Rana’s known her. Rana nods to her as she comes through the door, this person is a fixture of the town and Rana is unsurprised to see her there.

The old dragonborn looks us all over as we enter, but it takes her a second before she goes “Rana? Who are these people with you, come over here, what in tarnation!?”

Rana: Oh hey, Gran…

Diem introduces themself as we approach with a respectful, hopefully charming bow. “I bet you have all the best stories.”

Gran: Finally, a young person who respects their elders - you look a little strange but you seem to have a good head on your shoulders, and I do have some good stories - people should listen to their elders more!

Rana: We’ll be more than happy to listen - I’m gonna run up and get some food first and then keep you company (Rana practically runs to the bar).

Gran: I was about to leave but yeah I’ll keep you company.

Fee: Ooooh no.

We’re in for having our ears talked off and Diem is loving it, even if it is the somewhat dry material one would expect from schoolhouse history lessons.

In one of the stories, Fee interrupts “Exactly what IS tarnation?”

Gran has a story about this and the etymology too. Her way of speaking is as if she was around for the entire growth of this word lol.

Rana picks up a dessert for Gran.

The barkeep gives Rana a commiserating look (I already got you, I see what’s going on). They gossip about Rana’s niece and niephio’s mischief, namely how Taniel had not so long ago brought home a wild animal, just like auntie Rana used to.

Meanwhile, despite the occasionally dry lesson-style stories, Diem is loving it anyway - sorry ya’ll they’re prompting off this etymology lesson by asking what she knows about all the animals around her speaking draconic.

Gran is definitely of the mindset all of the native animals speaking draconic is the blessing of V’kandis. “We’re a blessed town. Nothing bad ever happens here, no bandits come through, no wild animals attacking, we’re really favored by our god.” This segues into proselytizing and being urged toward the priest before we leave.

Diem is finally less than thrilled by the religious preaching bits and their attention begins to wander to the bard who misunderstands their attention and fumbles his song a little and is painfully self-conscious. He thinks Diem is watching because he missed a chord or some other critique-minded senpai is looking thing. Meanwhile, Diem feels bad for him and can’t wander over or try and encourage him instead because Gran is snapping her fingers at them to pay attention. Diem puts a pin in approaching the bard later to encourage and make it up to him.

All you can drink potions is probably mostly joke potions. Rana orders a round of the local brews including one for Gran.

Gran begins quizzing Rana about her recent travels and how we all met.

Fee: First we had these mighty rats to fight in a tavern much like this one.

Gran: Rats? Why would you just be going off and killing rats, where are you from?

Rana: They’re not the same kinda rats Gran, these ones don’t talk.

Gran: Not from around here, I definitely understand, I definitely knew that.

Rana: I picked up this group in Rethwellian

Gran gives us another once over, her eyes falling on Ixayl'anu now and squints at her “I didn’t realize Rethwellian dragonborn were feathered, I thought that was some kind of headdress but you’re not…?”

Ixayl'anu: No no…

Rana starts stuffing her face to avoid being involved in this topic

Ixayl'anu: Not from Rethwellian. From a little bit farther away than that I think.

Gran perks up: Oh okay, where might that be?

Ixayl'anu: The Seejit (spelling?) Isles?

Gran looks at her like she just said Atlantis: Never met anyone from there before. Is it true that ya’ll have a dragon as an emperor over there?

Ixayl’anu: Yeah

Gran: To each their own

Ixayl’anu: No less weird than animals speaking draconic

They move on as Ixayl'anu asks Gran what she does.

She teaches history.

More conversation I missed.

Rana: We came on a boat in the water, never been on one before have you?

Gran: I’ve seen ‘em but I don’t like ‘em, never been on one.

Rana: Apparently these two have shipwrecked before (she indicates Diem and Ixayl’anu)

Gran: See, that’s why you shouldn’t.

Ixayl’anu: I technically never shipwrecked, my ship made it, I didn’t.

Diem: I mean...yeah, my ship made it too, I just got swept overboard and onto the wild expanse no less.

Gran: That explains why you look the way you do.

Diem: I will try not to take that personally….

We get ship avoiding advice courtesy of Gran.

Rana asks after various rumors in town.

Gran talks about livestock going missing and various other things because Gran knows everything and everyone.

Except one thing, apparently: I’m an old lady how would I know what kind of animal is out there?

Rana: You talk to a lot of people

Gran: That would require them knowing what’s going on. (after some thought) About a week ago Shima mentioned she was missing a few alpacas.

Diem: Any giant mole hills involved?

This question eventually leads to the story of their recent adventure with Diem dropping the word abominations in Perfection and several eyes turn our direction.

Now that all eyes are on Diem, obviously waiting for more, they launch into the Perfection story loud enough for eavesdroppers (21 performance). The bard in training stops to listen as well. He adds a chord every so often but he’s very much entranced as well.

Diem notices and encourages with faint prestidigitation sounds, a smile and a wink which totally shuts the poor guy’s brain down instead.

Jibru Tiklot, an older orc lady claps at the end and afterward asks to make sure there was a noon sun druid there.

Diem says their leader was there (because Edea looks like a definite leader to them).

Jibru: How very fortuitous that you were there then, that’s good to hear. (She’s very soft spoken and new agey).

Now that Jibru has Rana’s attention though, she also wants to know if Rana is staying awhile because she has some things she’d love some help with.

Rana: Oh yeah sure (not missing a beat)

They arrange things in exchange for cookies, Rana presuming again to speak for the whole group without asking first lol.

Rana: What sort of issue am I looking at so I can come prepared?

Oh it’s my <insert jungle plant name I missed>.

They talk about it a little, Rana belatedly asks if that’s okay with us, we’re fine with it. Jibru and Rana arrange to meet after food, drink, and stories.

We learn one of the reasons Rana was inspired to leave Longview in the first place was probably traveller stories from this very tavern.

Fee at some point talks about Miova and taking ships to other areas and such.

Rana talks about how super nice and helpful Fee’s friend Dima is (and Fee’s sister being so nice).

Fee gives her a ‘really?’ sort of look about Dima being nice, looking around to see if anyone appeared to recognize the name.

Also, Fee starts investigating around this establishment regarding use of thieves’ cant (25). She notices there are a lot of intricate carvings in the walls and beams, lots of smiling dragons built into the craftsmanship, there are small symbols on the front of the bar that indicate secret codes. An X with a top and an oval with 3 wavy s lines on the bar (bread symbol). On a side beam there’s also a triangle with a pea in it, spear or arrow on top of pea (people inside will…?). Triangle with the downward sword.

(A conversation about bread)

When they pay, Fee tips extra to Grismor after she’s observed this guy seems to be a cool person who helps people in need out.

Fee, in thieves’ cant while complimenting his bread: We seem to have friends in common

Grismor (while also pretending to talk about bread): Not friends but it pays to know the local players/powers.

Fee (so much lovely bread and your brew was lovely): Yes, I agree. Used to be on the payroll myself, but guess I could call them acquaintances also.

Grismor (thank you kindly stranger, please don’t mind that Diem is totally filling in what our fake conversation was like - mmmm bread - these two can REALLY talk about bread) Sounds like you made the right decision, seem like a good group of people you’re here with now.

Fee (Yes, do you have any other pastries I can sample?): Oh you know Rana

(DM Clarifications about earlier points: When Rana mentioned Dima out loud, Fee had noticed Grismor perked up in a negative sort of way recognizing the name. Fee noticed he had lots of symbols. “Safe resting place” “we offer free food here” “People here will guard you”)

Fee (I am all about bread, simply can’t get enough of it, do you have bread I can take on the road?): Do you have any current business with our mutual acquaintance?

Grismor (Sure, I can pack you up some bread, always love a good bread aficionado): No, I’m happy...more retired at this point

Fee (Excellent, I can smell it all from here, could you add a few sweet breads? Stuffed pastries?): I feel ya. Well if you need anything hypothetically we’ll be going back there eventually, I’ll do you a favor (being charming). (insight check on Grismor’s response: natural one - 3 total)

He kinda looks at her and he pats her cheek (All the bread you like little gnome, I’ll toss in a few free samples for the road). “Anytime you need something, just let me know. This is a great conversation, I feel like it’s been illuminating, but I don’t need anything right now, thanks.”

(He is very happy with her though)

Rana is finishing up the story about Ixayl'anu’s feather theft, occasionally glancing over at Fee and the barkeep being 100% slick and believable about their bread conversation that Diem totally did not make up for them after the fact.

When Fee returns “Man I’m tired.”

Rana: It’s after noon…

Diem: To be fair your sleep was disturbed.

Rana tries to ask about missing livestock.

Ixayl'anu suggests we can go talk to people around town about it instead.

As things are winding down Rana tries to get Jibru’s attention.

Ixayl'anu says she’ll go with, Diem says they’re gonna stick around and talk to the bard. Fee says she’s gonna take a nap.

Rana: Here? In the middle of the crowd?

Grismor: I do actually have a spare bed she can use.

After a brief exchange he insists it’s between friends, don’t worry about it.

Fee goes upstairs to nap in the sort of hold-over room for emergency issues like a friend’s friend is about to sleep in a bush drunk, rather than an official room.

(Off to Jibru’s)

Rana and Ixayl’anu go off with Jibru. She ushers them into a house full of plants and crystals, and new agey homey stuff. “I just don’t know what’s wrong with it. It just doesn’t seem to…(missed words) I moved it into and out of the sun and it doesn’t like that either...can you help?” (among a list of other things she’s tried)

Rana nature checks 10 - the leaves look a little ragged in addition to being sad and droopy, soil is dry, and she knows that it’s a tropical plant, not a desert plant.

Jibru: I mist it every day and I moved it into the house…

The heat is fine, it’s probably drying out though.

So I should water it more, is what you’re saying…?

Rana casts lesser restoration on the plant, starting with that. It still looks a little droopy, but the edges of the leaves fill in a little bit and it gives her two new leaves immediately.

“Oh we need water.” Jibru leaves to go get some. When she gets back: “I knew you could do something with it, it’s already looking so much better.”

Rana: It did seem to have some sort of disease (medicine check of 13 - she notices some fungus gnat infestation crawling out while it’s being watered).

Rana advises her to get someone to sell her some gnat eating lizards for it. In a controlled fashion, she’s going to cast plant growth to invigorate it and all the other nearby plants too.

Jibru’s eyes get big “Oh my gosh…” She was just going to give us cookies but now...she gives Rana a plate of very delicious snicker doodles and an herbalist’s bundle which does some cool things: Rare (These ingredients can be chewed raw for minor effects or, if you are proficient with the ‘herbalism kit’, you can spend 6 hours brewing any number of one type into potions for no extra cost, each bundle has 1d4 ingredients, roll a D6 to determine what each ingredient is:

Witch weed - (raw) water breathing for 5 minutes; (brewed potion) disguise self or water breathing for an hour.

Pepper berries - (raw) resist cold for a minute; (brewed potion) resist any element or fire breath.

Ogre ear - (raw) advantage to your next attack roll; (brewed potion) hill giant strength or potion of growth

Lover’s thorn - (raw) advantage to charisma checks for 1 minute; (brewed potion) philter of love or potion of poison.

Ghostbloom - (raw) false life; (brewed potion) invisibility.

Mother’s rest - (raw) resist disease for an hour; (brewed potion) lesser restoration or greater healing.

Rana does have proficiency and sits in small talk with Jibru, chatting about plants, medicinal herbs, and things like that.

She’s one of the people in town Rana typically gets along well with.

Ultimately they say their goodbyes about an hour heading back to the inn where Diem has spent their time trying to encourage and set the bard there at ease. They roll an 18 persuasion at this, primarily accomplished by admitting they’re not a bard either, just an entertainer. The bard is a little sad about this, but also gets over his senpai noticed me thing enough for conversation. Diem finds out he’s on a little bit of an adventuring gap year.

They finish encouraging his future efforts by complimenting all the things they enjoyed about his current performance and rejoin their friends when they enter.

(Enter Shima)

Back together at the tavern, we take cookies, and a pretty lady named Shima Paravash walks in. She appears to be a human about Rana’s age with tan skin and long silver-white hair. They’re not really friends, but they know each other (she’s more Stellan’s friend).

Shima: Rana, I heard that you were in town...are you busy? Are you gonna be in town long?

Rana: Probably at least until tomorrow, but we have time for stuff - what’s going on?

Shima: We keep alpacas...we’ve had an alpaca or two go missing (nervous)

Rana: We actually just heard about that and were gonna check out what’s going on, don’t want livestock going missing.

Shima takes in her friends (the rest of us): I notice you have friends with you…

Diem introducing themself: Diem, lovely to meet you.

Further introductions are made. Ixayl’anu says her full name.

Rana: Ixie is easier

Diem: She doesn’t particularly like Ixie though, Rana (verbal elbow)

Rana (matter of fact): But Ixie’s just easier.

Ixayl’anu to Shima: I prefer Ixayl’anu, please.

Shima turns back to Rana: We haven’t found any bodies or anything.

Rana: We can check it out now.

Shima looks surprised: Oh yeah we can do it now.

Some conversation missed on the way to Shima’s farm.

Shima: Rana’s mom will buy some fleece from us on occasion (they have alpacas of various colours)

Shima’s family definitely does not own the town (Rana is confused about where that impression came from - and I am not sure who asked in the first place between Fee or Ixie).

Shima hangs out by Rana/closer to her, asking the same questions everyone else has so far.

Rana gives her a more complete answer since she’s friends with Stellan - nothing to cause a panic, but a little about the investigation on weirdness with the meteors. She wants the town to be informed but if she lets the wrong thing slip gossip would make it an apocalypse by morning.

Shima doesn’t take us to the house directly, but instead to the paddock where the ones that went missing were last. “This is where they were, we’ve check the fences, I just went out to feed them and do field rotation and they just weren’t here and nobody stole them, I don’t know what to do…”

Rana asks a question I missed.

Shima: There were only two

The other ones were acting nervous like there was a predator around but we haven’t seen anything…

We find out this happened about 4 days ago. Shima hasn’t heard of anyone else missing livestock around town.

Good perception checks all around (Diem actually got a 17!), Rana got a nat 20 - she hears birds but doesn’t see any. Alpacas in the distance do still appear to be nervous, it’s a nice clear day.

Fee squeaks out to lure a local rat for answers. Side note: For future reference, help Fee remember her rat ring adds 2 to her stealth - nat 20 for total 22 persuasion.

Shima looks like she thinks it’s very strange. As she’s saying she hasn’t seen any small things to question around for awhile now though.

However, as she’s saying that a vole pops up “Well, howdy.”

Fee: Oh hello rodent of the brown.

Vole: I’m a vole.

Fee: We are looking for the missing livestock, do you know where all the livestock went?

Vole: Well I uh don’t really go out from under the ground but I have been hearing a bunch of - I’ve been hearing some loud sounds at night, like a big predator so I didn’t think I should come out at night anyway.

Fee: That’s totally valid, stay safe my friend.

She finds out it’s just recently and not all night, but off and on.

Fee: Do they smell?

He doesn’t know he runs when he hears the noise.

Fee gives him a rat treat (Ixayl'anu has been translating the vole’s words)

Vole: Thanks!

Fee: Thank you Mr. Vole

Vole: Come back any time if you’ve got more of these snacks.

Rana heads toward the alpacas by the end of this exchange. She casts speak with animals to understand the alpaca.

Rana: Hey, I’ve got a question for you?

Their heads all swivel in surprise. The bravest alpaca approaches.

Rana: I hear some things have been happening in the area, do you know why that paddock over there is empty?

They all look at her and start talking over each other saying things like “Are you gonna help us?” and “There’s a monster at night that comes out.” and “Yeah, they ate Harold!”

Rana: That sounds really bad I’d like to make that not happen, do you know where it’s coming from?

The brave alpaca points with its nose toward the iron heights in the hillier direction: “Yeah it’s real quiet and then it suddenly appeared - just lifted him! It was a flying monster the size of a barn with glowing eyes.

Rana: Did it look like the normal big flying birds that come around?

They all look around.

Brave alpaca: I’ve seen little birds? I guess it had feathers?

Rana: You mentioned it had glowing spots?

Alpaca the Brave: The eyes, they were just bright yellow and it was just huge. They confer amongst themselves. It was a big bird.

Rana: I think I know what it might be...is there anything else you want me to do?

Alpaca the Brave: Can you tell them we’d like to be inside at night? In the barn please?

Rana: I will tell them, I have a feeling they won’t have a problem with that ‘cause we wouldn’t want anything to happen to anyone else like it did Harold. We’ll see about getting rid of big bird too.

They all nod like good good

Rana: Thank you very much.

Rana comes back and tells all of us and Shima.

Shima: But we would have seen...do you think it’s a roc?

Rana: All they know is that it was big, it had feathers, and it carried Harold off.

Shima looks confused: Maybe after all this is over I can have you tell me what the alpacas all call each other?

Rana agrees (and notes that she will do so before we leave).

Rana nature checks, knows there’s giant owls and giant eagles - ones she’s seen from a distance before. Giant bird form is thus gifted to her repertoire of shapeshifts.

We talk about spending the night out there to keep watch, help protect Rana’s village.

Rana makes sure we’re okay with that. We talk briefly about our quest, but we were planning on staying one more night anyway.

Shima, talking about sheltering the alpacas: It’s a little tight but if that’s what they want…

Rana: They were adamant about wanting that, and you might wanna tell the others to bring their livestock in for the night too so this thing doesn’t fly past here looking for food.

Shima says she’ll send a bird.

We return to Rana’s home/mother to tell her the plan and pick up our stuff for the night.

(A plan of revenge-camping for poor Harold)

Ixayl'anu is taking the elk with her to use as bait.

Rana convinces her mom to get the sheep inside and camels if they’ll fit.

Rana sets camp up under tree cover in the tiny hut.

Ixayl'anu and Rana swap watch places since Rana’s exhausted from the previous night’s lack of true rest (Ixayl’anu first, Rana with Diem on last watch).

Ixayl’anu’s perception is a 15 - it’s quiet for her watch, she spends a lot of the evening listening to the birds chitter in gossipy draconic, just regular bird talk in draconic though too. Nice little wind background noise. No owls spotted.

Fee’s middle watch perception 9. She’s just a little distracted, she’s confused about why we’re looking for rocks on the ground, why we keep talking about rocks, inspecting the local rocks for movement - it’s probably a desert thing. Something these farmers know that she doesn’t.

Elk has been told to stand watch, still in easy sight, beacon in the field, playing bait, as it were. Elk has passive perception of 10 - gets 14 perception, he snaps his head up a few times.

To Ixayl’anu through the night in their telepathic bond: Can i eat this? Can i eat this? He eventually goes over to talk to the alpacas for a bit: What’re you doing in there? (Ixayl’anu doesn’t get their side of whatever conversation might have happened)

Diem rolls 18 on perception, Rana 16. We still don’t notice what happened until (Ixayl'anu will notice immediately) the elk gives a screaming, bugling cry as it is already being lifted up by a dark shape - we didn’t notice the silent approach.

Rana: Found it!

Ixayl'anu is awake because the elk’s screaming bloody murder in her mind.

It is about 100 yards away.

The elk makes it’s contested strength check at a 22. It takes 1d6 dmg as it falls to the ground (full 6). As it does we hear an angry screech of frustration as the creature whirls back around.

Elk is stunned but Ixayl'anu is calling him back immediately.

Rana casts earthbind immediately: Yellow strips of magical energy loop around the creature. The target must succeed on a Strength saving throw, or its flying speed (if any) is reduced to 0 feet for the spell’s duration. An airborne creature affected by this spell safely descends at 60 feet per round until it reaches the ground or the spell ends.

She tries to identify what this is through the pale yellow glow of magic around it in the distance. She sees this is a giant great horned owl. 23 nature check - generally the ones who come down to hunt livestock only when there’s no other food available or they’re injured/can’t catch normal food in a proper hunt.

Rana: Take it down!

Fee hits the owl for 15 - 7dmg + 17 sneak attack dmg (24 sneak attack dmg). It dies in a poof of feathers, all salvagable parts are still salvageable.

The yellow magic binding it to the ground fades.

We trek over to check it out.

Elk comes up slightly bloodied and wild-eyed.

Ixayl’anu: Oh…don’t worry, it’s over now.

She lightly slaps her elk’s shoulder and casts lay on hands, getting an appreciative emotion back.

Even with our crap investigation roles, this owl is very thin, Harold didn’t do much for it.

Ixayl'anu is doing loops keeping watch, working off excess energy.

We discuss what to do with the rest of the night now, deciding to just keep camping out til morning.

Rana: We don’t need a hut

Diem just gives her a look and summons the hut anyway.

Ixayl'anu is too keyed up and running circles with the elk.

Rana camps out in the grass and fresh air.

Ixayl'anu’s perception is 16 - doesn’t see much.

Rana collects some feathers (11 survival - 5 feathers before she gets frustrated - tougher than she expected)

Rana and Diem talk about why it was starving and if more predators might be on the way.

Ixayl'anu calms down enough to take a good look at the bird (7 lol). She can’t see any obvious signs of broken bones, but she doesn’t see any other hints of anything. Feathers are kinda ragged but it’s late in the year, not sure if that means anything. Can’t tell its age. It was able to fly and lift the elk though.

We move on to talk about the two routes to Bouldergap and on to Stoneroost and how Rana has been there but reminds us you can’t just get in Stoneroost. One just does not simply walk into Stoneroost.

We discuss how unlikely it is this giant owl was a symptom of something more sinister that needs to be immediately checked out as opposed to an isolated incident that's been taken care of. We also discuss whether it would be worth taking Rana's usual path through the mountains instead to both make sure everything's good up there with the wildlife while still making our way to Bouldergap.

With an 8 survival check Rana thinks the travel time between her path through the mountains and taking the road is about the same, if she were on her own. In the process she calls them “my mountains” however, which Diem finds charming.

Diem: ‘My mountains?’ Well now I feel like I have to see them up close - like some of your family I’ve yet to meet.

Rana admits it may actually take us longer since we’re not used to mountain travel like she is. Her path through the mountains may be quicker, but she just doesn’t know about us because alone she’s very adept at mountains.

By way of a not serious answer, Diem alters their appearance to look exactly like her, clothing and all and mimics her voice: I’m very adept at mountains.

Rana: I’ll remind you of that when I’m fishing you out of a crevasse.

We decide to take the main road.

As sun starts to break the family comes out to see the bird and Shima talks to us.

Rana: Got you a present.

Some missed words about whether it’s the culprit.

Rana: It tried to snatch my friend’s elk so I imagine it’s what took your alpaca.

More missed words back and forth about these things being common, coming down to feed on farms when injured, all that jazz and how Shima’s never seen anything like it but Rana thinks it’s perfectly ordinary out there.

Shima: You go up in the mountains though...this could defintely eat a person.

Rana: I’ve never been eaten by one.

Diem: No, we left that up to the quetzalcoatlus *ribbing Rana quietly*

Shima is encouraged to hire somebody or something to make use of the rest of the carcass.

We totally gave Fee the credit but the story is gonna become Rana the giant owl slayer in stories.

We all get a nice breakfast.

(One more visit with mom and Stellan before we go)

We get herded back to Rana’s mom’s place.

We establish than when Diem and Romy were talking cloth/clothes, Diem gave Rana’s mom some of the nice cloth we got in Budelia from our fight with the vampire, Lady Sinnah.

We see Stellan one more time. He pulls Rana aside and hands her a pair of daggers: These are for your gnome friend - better daggers while she can’t use the other ones.

Fee thanks him, and wearing the daggers of a known blacksmith is going to be helpful. It’s also easy to notice they’re dwarvish style in make. There’s lots of teasing about Fee refusing the daggers at first, saying her old standard ones are fine, but I’m not sure if that refusal was actually in character.

On the road to Bouldergap we see a lot of priests of Sunhame for V’kandis. It takes us 2 days on the road to arrive to our next destination.

[gutsybitsies]

Not the same anon but I would love to hear about the beauty and the beast version. I feel this fandom has greatly failed in not doing a beauty and the beast au for zimbits and you know what's up!

*cracks knuckles* im not sure if i’ve posted this before but i’d been talking about it with @fabbittle a while back: 

OKAY SO the premise is the same as the amnesia one and it’s bitty living in a cottage in the woods and so one day he comes across this really injured beast/monster. the beast is jack under curse. when he turned, he was chased and hunted by his own royal guards and friends who didn’t recognize him, and chased out of his kingdom. he’s cursed to be a monster until someone falls in love with him, but alas, who can love a beast? 

someone with a weird fetish like bitty, obviously. he takes one look and he’s thirsty. like jack’s still humanoid, he’s still muscular, and he’s got a lot of fur. and bitty can tell that he’s probably some poor guy who got cursed into a what to him seemed like a magnificent sexy beefcake. so while bitty’s nursing jack back to health there were two trains of thoughts in the cottage. the one that belongs to jack is “i’m a monster and he is so kind, i cant believe i love him so much, but there is no way he will ever love me.” while bitty’s thoughts are kind of just “fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck meeeeee.”

bitty tries everything to seduce jack. but jack’s not picking up the hints, just lamenting about his ugliness and how he’s unloveable. but eventually bitty does say the words “i love you, you big handsome goofball!!” and then jack glows and poof. he’s human again!!! 

and bitty’s a bit sad, because if jack was human again it meant that he’d have to go back home, just when the two of them got together. but jack actually said that he wanted to stay here with bitty, that he didn’t much like his old life anyway, and he loves bitty and he loves the town samwell and everyone who lived there. but one day, a while later, an old man rides into town. he’s tired, and hungry, and he says that he’s looking for his son. 

jack was honest with bitty. he told him about his old life, as crown prince of the kingdom, about a fiance he didn’t care for, about the anxiety that he had about living up to his father, about his fear of failure. it all came to ahead when he was cursed and no one had recognized him, and he’d truly became something unworthy and disgusting in their eyes. 

“do you miss your parents?” bitty had asked. 

“yes,” jack replied honestly. “but i think it’s better that they don’t have me as a son.” 

but here robert zimmermann was, cold and tired from his journey, asking for magical favors everywhere, trying to find his greatest pride. bitty knew that if he knew jack was here, robert would take him away and break the small comfortable life that they built up together.

“my saddle broke,” bob said at the inn. “do you know where i can fix it?” 

“Tailor John knows how to do leatherwork for saddles and does most of the work in the town for it, but he just left yesterday to go to his daughter’s wedding and won’t be back for two weeks,” the innkeeper replied, “but bitty’s husband also knows how to do a quick repair, should last you until you reach another town. hey, bitty!” 

“hey there Jim,” bitty says as he brings in the day’s bread into the inn. “did i hear anything about a broken saddle?” 

“yeah, guy needs a fix, you think your jack can do it?” 

“well he can certainly try, he’s busy fixing our chicken coop right now, a fox got in last night, but if you come over tomorrow at noon i’m sure he’ll take a look at it,” bitty replied, looking warily at the man who looks almost exactly like jack and who said he was looking for his son. 

jack and bob see each other the next day, and bob bursts into tears and hugs his son as he finally got him back.

“why haven’t you come back? is there anything wrong? what’s this i hear about you being married?” he looked cautiously through the window at bitty, who was shooing away a deer that came near their garden trying to nibble at their cabbage. 

“i was cursed, he helped me lift it, and i decided to stay. i’m sorry for not contacting you or maman sooner, but i don’t want to go back.” 

bob became stern, “jack, this is your responsibility. you can’t leave your kingdom helmless in the future when it needs you. a ship without a captain steers itself into the waves and drowns. i don’t know what kind of dreamland you’ve been imagining yourself to be in but you need to snap out of it.”

“i can’t leave bitty.”

“then bring him with you, set him up in the capital with the finest things as repayment for taking care of you. he’ll have a great life as your lover.”

“he’s not just my lover, he’s my husband.”

“….is he a knight?”

“no.”

“has he ever went on a quest to save a kingdom, or defeated a dragon? do you think he can even hold a sword? will he be able to intermingle with the court life? how will he have any kind of dignity in the eyes of anyone in our circle as a prince consort now and a king consort in the future? what, are you going to give him a fake title and a dukedom to force him to integrate into our lives?”

seeing that jack can’t argue back but wasnt changing his mind, bob tried for a softer approach. “jack, you can bring him back with us. let him get used to how things are, and then we’ll talk about it, okay?”

so the three of them go to the capital and bitty is enraptured by all the beautiful things there, but there’s a slight hiccup. he’s ignored by every single person. the court, being very sensitive to the king and queen’s wishes, snubbed him on basically all occasions. he was given quarters in a small room far away from jack, and even though jack told him to just stay in jack’s room he wasn’t able to see jack often because jack comes back later and tired. when they first arrived bob and alicia didn’t even bother introducing him to anyone as jack’s husband. 

jack introduces bitty to people, and in jack’s presence there would be stilted conversation that stops as soon as jack wasn’t there. he tries his best to get bitty situated, but he’s being inundated as it were by tasks and jobs and responsibilities that he has to pick up again. 

and bitty realizes what’s happening, that no one wanted them to be together so they’re forcing this war of attrition. it comes to a head after a month, when bitty just couldn’t take it anymore and breaks down. 

jack: let’s just elope. 

bitty: what? we can’t do that.

jack: …go back home and i’ll come get you when i convince my parents to stop playing this stupid game. i’ll much rather you be happy away from me than suffer by my side.

bitty reluctantly agrees, and goes back. he waits and waits for a message from jack or jack himself, but doesnt get anything until there’s news that the prince of the neighboring kingdom, jack zimmermann, is getting ready to be married. but he still waited, because maybe that’s just a rumor and jack would tell him if anything happened, and that’s when a knight walked up the path to his cottage. and asked him to approve of a divorce from jack so that his next marriage can be legal. 

enclosed was a letter in jack’s handwriting that basically said that he realized that it was impossible for him to change his parents mind and impossible to leave. and that he could be stubborn and bring bitty back no matter what but he knows that it would just make bitty miserable. he’s sorry that he couldn’t say this in person, but he knew that if he saw bitty he’ll never want to leave. 

bitty signs, and then shuts the door in the face of the knight without even offering him refreshments for his long journey. 

bitty: i know its selfish but i wish the curse on jack had never broke. he’d have never been found, he’ll still be mine. 

and then, miles and miles away, a roar erupted in a panicking room as prince jack zimmermann transformed painfully into a giant beast in front of everyone. his parents grow frantic trying to break the curse, but no one could do it. 

note: this is from a long time ago that i never finished so here’s the rough rough rough ending

basically more panicking from the royals and jack ups and leaves again and finds his way somewhere where he sees bitty again. they don’t get together quite yet but eventually they start talking more and jack apologizes. 

bitty: “i made a dumb stupid wish and i wish i can turn you back but i can’t i’m sorry” 

jack: “that’s okay. i think if i wasn’t still in love with you i wouldn’t have turned anyway. my parents love me, i know, but i could never live up to them. i would’ve never been good enough, might as well stay here and eat berries.”

they still don’t get together, until one day jack’s on a hunting trip and get’s lost in the winter and meets up with a bunch of kids who also got lost, and he saves them and eventually leads them home. they thank him a lot and and jack’s pretty content with himself, before going back to his hut. and bam human again -insert disney music- 

jack knocks on bitty’s door with some flowers in hand, all “i know you’ve always wanted to see the world, and now i can take you places. we don’t have to be together, but do you want to come with me?” 

and so they set off together and one day bitty looks at jack weaving a scarf for the winter and kisses him. 

[fluffychubbyrose]

Fili x Bashful Chubby Reader. 1/?

Warnings- Slight gore and Fili from the hobbit may be more oc than some readers would like. First time writing a hobbit fanfic. Sorry if I make any mistakes on places, names, roles ect.

Shout out to @findingmyselfalone for the request! Thank you, and I hope this lives up to your hopes for this fic! I apologize more than you know for how long it has taken me to write this fic and I'm so sorry for the long wait. I've been so busy and haven't had much time to work on it, but here it is and I hope you like it!

(I of course do not own The Hobbit an Unexpected Journey, or the characters from the hobbit. Nor do I own the pictures below.)

P.s. to clear up any confusion about knowing Bilbo Baggins since him and the reader where children is because the reader is half hobbit and half human while five foot is tall for a hobbit it's normal height for a human woman. I'm prolonging the meeting between Radagast and Gandalf so they're still riding/traveling through the mountains for a while before they meet and face the giant spiders.

Gandalf recruited me to join the company for my skills as a herbalist. I was reluctant and nervous at first when he explained that I would be accompanying thirteen dwarves, himself and Bilbo. I was unsure about traveling with thirteen men I've never met before and trusting them to protect me and in turn I treat their wounds and give them medical care when needed. I was undecided still because I had planned on opening up my own herbalist shop soon, but when the place I was going to buy was bought out from under me before I had enough coin, I figured a little bit of adventure would be a good distraction from this devastating disappointment.

Luckily do to having to travel long distances to get specific ingredients to treat different ailments, I'm well equipped in travel and my black female clydesdale named Midnight is used to heavy loads and long cold roads. I'm far to tall and big to ride a pony plus she's able to carry all of my supplies and my weight which is heavier than most women of my age and stature in general. I packed her up with all the essentials I'd need for basic ailment treatments such as colds and wound care so nothing gets infected. Along with other basic necessities such as changes of clothes, my bed roll, blankets, and preserved foods enough for a month's ration including breads and the ingredients and supplies to make bread if we get the time while traveling. I also have a few pounds of various smoked meats, jams, and pickled vegetables.

Even though Gandalf assured me there would be plenty of food and to not worry about bringing any of my own, I'm used to packing food just in case I want a quick meal while collecting herbs, that way I have it with me, so by now it's habit and I won't go without being prepared just in case. After a short ride I arrived at Bilbo Baggins house and tied my horse to a tree. "Stay girl I'll be back by dawn." I've been friends with the hobbit for a long while. His mother was a like a sister to my mother, and in turn we were around each other a lot.

He knows how shy I am around new people, hell it took me a year to be comfortable and confident enough to be true to myself around the sweet mannered hobbit when we where children, and my shyness hasn't improved at all over the years if anything it's worsened. I know he has to be dreading some, if not all of these dwarves arrival so I cant help but think the worst. Lost in my thoughts I didn't notice Bilbo suddenly open the door. "Oh hello miss Y/n, I hope you weren't waiting out in the cold for long. Please, hurry inside." Bilbo lead me inside with a sigh.

"Hello Bilbo do you need any help with anything for the guests." "How did you know? What is going on here, and yes there's two men here I have never meet before and they said they expected food and lots of it. So um if you want to start cooking for me in the kitchen that way I keep an eye on the uninvited guests that would be a great help, if you wouldn't mind." " No not at all that's why I asked, and what do you mean. Gandalf said he was getting people together for an adventure, he said it was going to be him, you, me and thirteen dwarves." "Thirteen?!!" "Yes? Were you not informed about this and that we where supposed to meet here?" "No, I was not informed in the slightest." "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Would you like me to leave?"

"Oh no please stay and help me with them, the two dwarves who are currently here are rading through my pantry looking for food." "Well everything I need should be in the kitchen so I'll just sneak in there and start cooking for everyone, seeing as you weren't expecting any guests tonight so you didn't get to prepare for their arrival." "Oh, thank you miss Y/n that helps a lot." "Your welcome Bilbo." As I was about to head off to the kitchen I can hear the commotion coming from the dining room, no wonder he looks so stressed sounds like there's some bears in there instead of dwarves.

I enter the kitchen missing Bilbo trying to turn away the two dwarve princes and failing, ending up with them shoving past him into the house. It took me two hours but everything was done cooking besides the rolls and a few things need to be heated up a little more or reheated. The whole time I was cooking there was all kinds of commotion coming from the other rooms I'm assuming everyone has finally arrived. As I was getting ready to bring the food out to the dining room to be served up I hear singing. I waited and listened as best I could to the merry tune until the singing was done and then started to load dishes up onto trays, there was three in total and each tray was heavy but not overwhelmingly so.

I grabbed the first tray and started heading towards the dining room, I was shaking slightly and flushed from nerves. There was conversations throughout the room but when I walked through the door all went silent and I started to shake a little harder and it felt like my face was engulfed in flames. Trying not to let their stares get to me anymore than they already have, I started putting the dishes onto the table. I quickly exited the room without a word and avoiding eye contact with everyone. Once I reached the kitchen I let out a series of shaky breaths and grabbed another tray.

'Come on Y/n it's nothing you haven't dealt with before, you can do this. Your going to have to travel with them for a few months, so you need to get used to them being around sooner rather than later.' I can hear the conversation start back up, and when I neared the dining room again I could hear that the conversation was about me, they where mentioning my name but I couldn't make out what was being said. 'Oh no not already, I was hoping they wouldn't react like this about me and my weight.' I sigh more anxious than ever and when I come in the room this time I'm startled and surprised to be bombarded with questions from the thirteen new comers.

"Your going to be traveling with us lass?" "Should a fine thing like yourself really be going on risky adventures?" "How well can you cook?" "Oh do you need help? Let me get that." "Wanna sit next to me?" Everyone was bustling around and asking so many questions I only was able to catch a few of them. The tray I was carrying was taken from my hands before I could give an answer and I was surrounded by dwarves. "I'm Fili this is Kili and that's Dwalin, Balin, Dori, Nori, Ori, Oin, Gloin, Bifur, Bombur, and the grump over there is Thorin." I was getting overwhelmed.

"Enough, leave her be!" Gandalf raised from his seat and looked over everyone. "Y/n You may seat next to me and Bilbo thank you for making and bringing the food out for our guests." "Yy-our welcome." I stuttered out, looking at my shoes. "There's one more tray of food, I'll get it real quick." I mumbled out turning back around towards the kitchen. "Oh no don't worry about that little one, Bombur go get the last tray of food from the kitchen for miss Y/n. Now sit child." The one dwarf I now know as Bombur hurried off to the kitchen while I took my seat with Bilbo on my left and Gandalf on his left, while on my right was the dwarf who tried to introduced me to everyone by telling me their names and pointing to them, I think he said his name was Fili?

'Yeah that sounds right.' Usually I wouldn't eat in front of new people because I was insecure but I haven't eaten since early afternoon and I'm starved, plus everyone is basically fighting over the food so they won't notice me. I loaded up my plate with some meat, roasted potatoes, a roll, and a slice of the vanilla cake I made. I kept my head down while Bombur placed the last tray in front of me, it was the tray with the cooked vegetables I was about to serve myself some of the boiled green beans when the blonde dwarf next to me gently grabbed my arm. I blushed brighter than a tomato and tried to take my arm back, while also trying to hide my face. "Here let me lass." His hold stayed as he set my arm by my side.

He was dishing up the green beans onto my plate for me. 'What's going on? What do I do?' He let go and gave me sideways glance and smirked at me, then continued to eat his own food like nothing happened. That was my first personal encounter with Fili whom I later found out was a dwarven prince. My first impression of him was that he was nice but a charmer and I wasn't looking to get hurt or humiliated, not again. After I finished my plate full of food I quietly excused myself and went into the kitchen to wash my dishes, and after I was done I went to the spare room I usually stay in when I visit Bilbo locked the door and put on my night clothes and curled up in the bed. 'Tomorrow the adventure starts.' We'll see where I end up from here.

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(Time skip to when the pack pony with almost all of the food got spooked and ran away.)

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After making camp in a dryer spot, still wet but not drenched completely from the rains. We started setting up our beds and a fire, I unpacked the persevered food I had and gave it to Bofur to make dinner for us all with. I took my bed roll and a change of clothes out of the large saddle pack and set the bed roll and clothes in a spot more secluded from everyone but still having light to see from the fire raging in the middle of camp. Now that my bed is set up I walk Midnight to the field with the ponies to graze and rest, then I can change into my dry clothes once I'm away from the rambunctious dwarves. ' I'm so tired, I used to find their loud songs and jokes amusing and pleasant but not when I haven't been able to get more than three hours of sleep in the last five days, I'm tempted to set up my bed roll by the field Midnight will be in, at least she'll be quieter than that lot.'

When I was done setting up my bed roll and finished unpacking Midnignt along with taking her saddle and blanket off, I heard dinner was ready. I ate my share of what I assumed was a type of stew with a side of sliced bread and jam spread on it. When I finished I grabbed my change of clothes and told Bilbo where I was heading and he asked me if I could take Fili and Kili their food so he could eat before there wasn't any left since I had already I ate, and of course I accepted. I simply tied Midnights lead to my waist, tucked my clothes I'm my sachel and carried a bowl in each hand and walked towards the field and pens. When I got there however both brothers where pacing and looked worried. "What's wrong?" I questioned softly.

"Oh um nothing really." Fili grumbled. "Where supposed to be watching over the ponies, and problem is there's supposed to be sixteen." Kili said quickly "But there's only fourteen." Fili sighed. "But don't worry we'll find out what happened to them and get them back." Kili finished. "What?" I gasped, almost dropping there food. Shoving the bowls of food into their chests I turn around and start taking Midnight back to camp. "Wait lass, don't go telling everyone the ponies are missing just yet, I'll get the ponies back no worries. Me and Kili saw a fire farther up into the valley, were certain that's where the ponies are."

I walked closer to camp with Midnight in tow, Fili grabbed my arm "Please lass I'm begging ya." I shook his arm off and he gave me a hurt look while I just walked her to a tree far away from the others so she would be safe. "I wasn't going to, but I think it would be a better idea to have everyone confronting these thieves." I muttered quietly. "Yes but Thorin would have my head over this, I'd never hear the end of it." "Y/n? Y/n? Are you still over here?" Bilbo shouted. "Oi she is." Kili yelled back. Soon Bilbo came out of the treeline. "Why didn't you come back to the camp? Are you trying to find herbs up here or are those two keeping you?"

"Oh good, as our official burglar, Daisy and Bungo are missing. We thought you might want to look into it." "Wait, um okay. Well it looks like something big uprooted these trees. Something very big and possibly quite dangerous." Bilbo said sounding distraught and startled. "Hey there's a light. Over here." He waved me and Kili over. "Stay down." Kili whispered. As we neared the source of the light we can hear laughter and some sort of being talking. "What, what is it?" Bilbo asked. "Trolls." was all Kili growled out making us all fall silent. Kili jumped over the fallen tree we where behind and started running towards the light source Fili ran after him, so I followed.

Bilbo went back and retrived their food they left behind before catching up to us but before he reached us a troll came out of the treeline carrying two of the ponies. Fili grabs me and pushes me down further behind the fallen tree we where hiding behind. Bilbo and Kili are behind their own tree's not to far away. The troll was walking towards where the fire is holding the two ponies under his arms. "Well that confirms that it was in fact a troll who stole our ponies, now how do we get them back undetected." Fili whispers. "He has Minty." Bilbo hisses. The troll stops and looks at our log.

Fili grabs me around my waist his hand on my soft belly and pulls me close, I'm basically nestled into his side trying to hide from the troll. I feel like my face is on fire, I gulp and try to wiggle away. "Stay still lass or he'll find us." He hissed barely audible at me. Trying to be quiet, when he looked at me and noticed my embarrassment and discomfort and yet he just smirked slightly. The troll lost interest and walked away out of site with the ponies. The coast was clear but Fili hadn't let go. He stands up taking me with him, his hand falling to my hip and giving it a slight squeeze. Bilbo clears his throat making Fili let go of me, but my blush won't fade. I have my head lowered and fiddle with my hands trying to look anywhere but the men around me, thoroughly embarrassed.

"We have to do something." Bilbo whisper shouts. "Yes you should, Mountian trolls are slow and stupid, and your so small they will never see you. It's perfectly safe, and we'll be right behind you." Kili announced clapping Bilbo on his back. "Yes and if you run into trouble whoot twice like a barn owl and once like a brown owl." Fili finished pushing Bilbo towards the path to the trolls campsite. Fili turns around facing me and says. "Okay Y/n I need you to stay put right here so you can go and alert the others in case we need help, and if and when you do I want you to get your horse and take off for cover a ways away from camp staying safe until we come find you." "But I can help. I can stay hidden and safe but have your backs as well by shooting my bow from behind the cover of the tree's." I argued quietly and meekly. "Y/n lass I'd rather you be far away from the trolls, and the fight between us and them if it comes to that, so there's no way you can possibly get hurt."

"Alright that's fine I guess. When do I know if I need to get the others for help?" I questioned softly and unsurely. "We'll yell for ya to go get Thorin and everyone if it turns bad." Kili said. "Now go and get your horse then come back to us but don't get to close, only close enough to hear us yell and then ride your horse as fast as possible to Thorin and the company. After that you need to go hide away at a safe distance where the trolls won't be able to find ya. Got that lass?" Fili finished giving me a stern and slightly concerned look. "Yeah." I sighed out and turned around and started walking back towards Midnight.

'I'll help by getting Thorin and the company, but I won't go run and hide. I knew what I was getting into when I decided to come on this adventure.' Set with my decision I started to plan what I was going to do to help if a fight breaks out. 'I can't exactly run in there with a sword and start swinging like the dwarves will. I'm not skilled in swordsmanship at all, but I can shoot my bow and arrow and almost never miss.' 'If I can get on top of one of the ridges or hills of the valley close and above the trolls I'll have the best shot and chance of doing any real damage to the massive creatures.' I made sure the remaining ponies where saddled and loaded up with all their supplies and that they all had leads on so if need be I can attach them six together and then attach six to each side of Midnight and run them and myself to a safer location.

Soon after I retrieved Midnight I lead her back up to camp and packed everything up and saddled her and her packs up and was almost unnoticed but of course Thorin saw and walked up to me. "What are you doing lass? Shouldn't she be out in the pasture with the ponies grazing and resting. Unless there's something wrong that your not telling me?" "Trolls took four of the ponies and now Bilbo is trying to get them back from them undetected and Fili and Kili are waiting by in case he needs help."

I squeaked out so quickly I was stammering over my words and jumbling them together. Thorin let out a deep sigh pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "Well where just going to have to go and see if they do indeed need our help taking down these trolls, which I'm sure they do by now." "Come everyone and bring your weapons we have some trolls to slay tonight!" He yelled with confidence and conviction in his voice not a worry in the world about defeating these trolls.

After they raced of out of sight I finished packing up Midnight and rode towards the trolls camp, going a longer way to get up on a hill behind them. When I reached them and had a clear view it was a terrifying scene. The trolls had every single dwarf in burlap sacks up to there neck some where in a pile while the others where tied onto a roasting stick above a huge campfire being turned by one of the trolls. Bilbo was in a sack as well but he was standing and talking to the trolls. 'This is bad, very bad. What am I supposed to do now? Maybe I can shoot and aim for there eyes and redirect their attention towards me.'

I aim for the troll who started yelling something all Bilbo as he stomps towards him and the dwarves. 'Here goes nothing.' It was a perfect shot the arrow pierced the trolls eye. "Yes!" I whispered excitedly. The trolls screaming stumbling back holding his hands over his eye, the other two race up and huddle around him trying to help the other troll.

The trolls are still distracted but I know it won't last long so I shoot another arrow into the side of another trolls eye, he screams in agony and cups his face like the first. The third troll looks towards me on the hill yells something unintelligible and launges towards my hiding spot I shoot fast and miss. I shoot again and it's another miss he's almost reached me I shoot one last time and this time I puntured one of his eyes so he's blinded and distracted as well.

The third troll although partially blind is still reaching and climbing towards me. 'Time to go!' I hop on Midnight and I'm about to race off towards the other side of the hill when I hear a shout "The dawn will take you all!" 'Gandalf?' I whip my head around trying to find where he is or at least where the voice was coming from. The giant boulder to my left cracks in half and the sun from dawn shines onto the trolls turning them into stone I look on top of the boulder and there stands Gandalf. The dwarves all shout with joy at being saved.

I smile and look down towards the dwarves and start taking Midnight down the hill towards them. Once I'm down I dismount and started untying the dwarves on the ground while Gnadalf puts out the fire and unties Bilbo they start untying the dwarves on the make shift roasting stick.

Each dwarf said their thanks as I finished untying them one by one until the last dwarf to untie was Fili I was hoping one of the others would untie him because I already know he's going to be angry with me for staying and fighting in my own way when he told me to leave and hide. "So lass you where the one shooting the arrows I presume?" "Yes." I mumbled softly while untying him. Once he was free he stood with a frown on his face and signed out his nose. "I recall telling you to stay as far away as possible." "You did but if it's in my power to help then I will." I said softly but with conviction in my voice.

"That's fine and understandable when your life wasn't in danger that troll almost reached you, if Gandalf arrived and cracked that boulder even a minute later who knows what that troll would have done Y/n! You could have been killed!" His voice slowly raised and everyone was discretely listening in and watching. "So could have all of you. I'm fine and so is everyone else, I can handle myself if you didn't notice." I whisper shouted with my face heating from anger and embarrassment of being treated like I'm some foolish child. I walked off towards Midnight.

"Gandalf I'm going to retrieve the rest of the ponies I'll be back please await my return." I said meekly. "Of course child we'll be here but then we need to head off again." "Figured as such." I rode off upset and frustrated. 'I know I put myself in danger but I had no choice I wasn't going to stand by while they where possibly getting killed, or worse eaten. I thought Fili would have been at least a little bit nicer or happy that I could protect myself.' I sigh sadly and break midnight into a gallup from a trot. It didn't take me very long to reach the ponies I attach six to each side like I prepped for and start trotting them back towards everyone at the trolls camp. When I arrived Fili and Thorin where arguing.

"Thats just isn't how you go about things, I raised you better than that, and you know how to start a courtship! If your interested then start one instead of trying to boss your interest around it won't work you'll only drive them further away." Fili was about to retort but when I can into view all went silent and instead he stormed off towards the other ponies that where stolen. 'What was all that about? Why was Thorin lecturing Fili on courting? Does he have a love interest?'

My sour mood worsened slightly. 'I wonder who the lucky lady is? I knew I shouldn't have fathomed the idea of us two, it was just a silly crush there's no way a prince would be interested in a half blooded hobbit if how he treats Bilbo is any indication of how much he likes us hobbits.'

"Trolls can't travel in day light so there must be a cave near by." Gandalf announced. 'I guess that's where we'll be heading.' We rode for a short ways and where nearing the trolls cave. Once we arrived at the trolls cave the dwarves tied the ponies while I tied Midnight so they won't wander or get spooked off. Once they entered the cave a pungent smell wafted up reaching my nose from outside where I'm watching over the ponies and Midnight even from afar it was horrendous. "Whats that stinch?" One of the dwarves asks speaking my exact thoughts. "Its a troll horde, be careful what you touch." There conversation dwindles down and the further they go the less I can hear.

"Well girl I guess it's just you me and the ponies." I say as I reach into a pack and start checking her over one of her shoes came undone and her hooves need to be trimmed down some I haven't had much of a chance to tend to her hooves lately. 'Sorry my sweet girl.' I'll check the ponies hooves once I'm done with Midnight though they don't have shoes on so I'm assuming as long as there's no cracks or splitters anywhere on them they shouldn't need any work done like the annual trimming Midnight requires. I gave her some grain as a snack before I start working on her feet so she doesn't get moody with me.

By the time I trimmed and put new shoes on all four of Midnights hooves they dwarves emerged from the cave Thorin first looking incredibly angry and then the others followed last to come out of the cave was Bilbo carrying what looked with him holding it a half sword but I'm certain that its a dagger. 'Strange Bilbo would never use a weapon or even think of it, I wonder why he has that?' I'll check the ponies hooves this evening when there put in a pasture to eat and rest. "Alright let's head off where wasting daylight!" Thorin shouted. I pet Midnight as I untie her and put her reigns on packing the lead away, I then mount her stearing her towards the others whom have just finished mounting their ponies and horse as well.

Gandalf and Thorin lead the way from the cave back towards our route. I stayed behind the others still upset from what happened and what I over heard earlier that morning. We rode for hours until it was almost dusk and then Gandalf called for us to setup camp I walked Midnight to the makeshift enclosed pasture after I unloaded her of her packs and saddle except two with my change of clothes the necessities to bathe and my equipment for the ponies hooves at the stream near the pasture. I also left her saddle blanket on because it's been getting really chilly at night even though her breed is built for the cold I still worry. After she was settled with the others I went and started to check everyone's hooves before I'd bathe, they tolerated me messing with there feet well and only the two pack ponies needed some splitters filed away which only took a moment.

"Y/n I'm plenty capable of watching over the ponies and Midnight despite what happened last night, should rest lo-lass." He stuttered and a blush tinted his ears. 'What was he about to say? Sounded like he was going to call me love. But that can't be true.' I flushed slightly. "I know you can but, I wanted to check everyone's hooves and bathe by the creek." The last words coming out no louder than a meek whisper, though Fili clearly had no trouble hearing what I said by the full flush crawling up his face. He coughed "Well um alright I'll go back to camp and make sure no one bothers you, I'll come check on you periodically by calling your name from behind the tree cover over there alright, but if you don't respond back I'm coming over here and looking for ya alright lass?"

"Yeah that's fine." I squeaked out, avoiding his gaze and grabbing the packs off of Midnight as Fili walked back towards camp once he's out of view I lay a blanket down and wrap another around my shoulders and strip of my clothing using the cloth and soap I have to wash up the waters to cold to be submerged in the water fully or even partly. ' It feels so good to scrub all the dirt, sweat, and grime off its been awhile since I last bathed I know I must reak.' I sigh blissfully even though I'm freezing at least I'm getting clean.

I scrubbed my entire body except the hard to reach parts on my back, I first pulled any debris out of my hair and comes through it with my hands then I had to bend down my belly squishing up against my chubby thighs in order to wash the dirt and grease out of my hair in the creek. The bubbling creek was soothing and calming even as cold as it was, I looked around my surroundings again before dipping my whole head under to wash all the soap away. I repeated this several times until I was certain my hair was grease and grime free, yanking my head up the last time making my hair fling back I gasped in a breathe winded from the cold water.

I screamed and covered myself when a hand landed on my bare shoulder only my legs and thighs exposed until I curled them under myself and curled up into myself slightly trying to hide myself. "Y/n lass, calm down it's just me Fili I called three times and you didn't answer I didn't mean to frighten ya but you frightened me by not answering." I peaked up at Fili my face and chest flushed. I mumbled a few incoherent words, not be able to respond because of my embarrassment. 'I can't believe Fili just saw me so exposed like this, he's probably disappointed with what he saw.' "If your done washing up, and once your finished getting dressed as an apology for frightening you and be so hard on ya this morning, I'll braid your hair for you once you are done." He mumbled out with his own embarrassment showing on his face though he had a dazed expression. He walked a ways a away so I could have some privacy.

I dressed quickly I was finished bathing anyways though the interuption destroyed the calmness I was feeling it was now replaced with anxious embarrassment my heart is racing uncontrollably and my hands are shaking as I dress and put my socks and shoes on. 'I can't believe I didn't hear him call not even once, I knew he would check up on me why didn't I listen for him, it's my fault.' I packed up the dirty clothes and hung up the wet blankets so they could dry and I'll wash the clothes later. I walked towards the middle of the field where Fili was sitting with his back facing me playing with something in his hands, with the last dry blanket I had was wrapped around my shoulders.

"You never did answer if you would accept my apology by braiding your hair for you. You don't have to accept Y/n if you don't want to." "No it's alright I accept your apology and if you want I wouldn't mind you braiding my hair." I mumbled looking at my feet on dew damp grass. "Well then sit down in front of me lass." I sat down partly on my blanket as to not sit on the damp grass and get my clothes damp. I handed him my brush and tie, pulling the blanket tighter around myself still cold and embarrassed. He brushed through my hair and combed through it with his fingers if I didn't know any better I'd say he was playing with my hair, either way it felt nice I was leaning into his touch subconsciously.

He started to braid my hair in an interact design putting in small colored ribbons and dwarven embroidered metal clasps here and there. When he finished I was disappointed because I was enjoying the affectionate jester and knew that this would likely not happen again. "There you go, all done. Now before we go back to camp and get some rest since it's Kili's turn to watch over the ponies for sure by now. Let's eat, I know you left before the food was ready and if I didn't bring any down here away from those lot there wouldn't even be a drop of food left for ya."

He finished lifting up his spare coat that was lying on the grass showing two big bowls of stew and a whole loaf of bread. I turned around so I was facing Fili and just looking at the food made me realise how hungry I really was, my stomach growled loudly. I blushed and put my head down muttering a small "Thank you." "Your welcome Y/n but it was no problem really the hard part was sneaking a whole loaf of bread away." He said with a hearty chuckle handing me the stew after he tore the loaf of bread in half and set it in the bowl. He dug right in, I looked at him with appreciation and a goofy smile on my face and then started eating. 'Today wasn't so bad after all.'

[overbakedone]

1

this is the first time i've ever started writing my thoughts and feelings anywhere before. this is not easy.

instead of writing things and then deleting it all because its not good enough or it sounds stupid i'm just going to write it now and stop backspacing. i guess i should start with where i am in life right now so there is some perspective.

im 25, im a bakers apprentice, i live with my parents, i have a girlfriend, lets call her ‘C’ who for the first time feels right to me despite everything, i barely have any friends, they don't ever want to see me, i don't have much time in my life right now, i work all night and struggle to fit sleep into my schedule. but things are really the best they have ever been for me. i just started an AFL 9′s competition, weird i usually have no confidence going into these things and will either quit after the first practice or not even show up, i really kinda enjoyed it and am excited for next week.

i've wanted to start writing anything for a few months now, i guess now i have some time. time is so fucked up, i wish there was more of it, i wish i could sleep without wasting my day, i wish i didn't have to compromise sleep for everything but i do, i guess its part of being a baker, its a job i am loving and i think i've found my life passion but it has its ups and downs. my partner C expects a lot of my time i guess, she can be very needy at times, demanding almost, sometimes i feel pressured by her to sacrifice my sleep, personal plans and hobbies and interests for her, but i know what she feels, she wants the same thing i do. she has problems making friends, or keeping friends, she feels isolated and alone, and she wants my companionship, and i want that too and despite anything i feel in the moment i always feel happy about her at the end of the day.

i should be grateful for the relationship i am in right now, i really should be grateful for a lot of stuff, my parents for allowing me to stay here still, being so supportive and also allowing and accepting of me and really tolerant of the shit i do. ok so i do smoke week every day right so that's already something to do at home that's difficult, i'm pretty sure they know and don't care or even agree that my life has been better since i started smoking, fuck i used to be on antidepressants, i took one every day at a certain time, it made me feel a bit better, ok sounds just like smoking right, expect when i didn't take this pill i got nausea, headaches, severe episodes of depression, i couldn't eat my appetite was so fucked up i was eating one meal a day and it was like a piece of bread or takeaway food. since the smoking started i've found some actual passion in life, i don't feel like a useless number anymore i guess.

one of the things on my mind always is my friends, since i was in highschool i havent really had a group of friends, i feel like i am a social person but then when it comes to it i feel like i just get burned. a lot of my old friends turned out to be secretly hating me and not wanting me around, some sort of pity friendship, i was an asshole in my time and honestly was not a good friend myself, do you pay for the dumb shit you do as a teenager, the people you fuck over go from your life completely yet new people you meet do the same things to you like they know. i had/have a long term best friend, J, we had been mates for years, we worked at my old job dominoes together for a bit, and kinda hung out a few times, but not until we got into PC gaming together did we form a bond. after that we would chat every day, play games together, watch the footy together, go places even though he lived across the city from me. one thing that changed massively in my life was i quit drinking alcohol, and then i felt like all my friends both disagree with my choice and resent me for it, like for some reason i have to take the same drugs they are taking at that time to be their friends. so J has just grown more and more distant, i get that we are older now, we both have partners, jobs that take a lot of our time, but then when we hang out or talk he seems disinterested, more interested with his friends that i introduced him to (from our discord server) and has seemingly replaced me, none of these guys i really like at all, in fact the only one of the new group i like is the one girl in it because she actually has interesting things to say.

fuck that was a paragraph, i guess i should talk about alcohol.

alcohol has fucked up my life, i cant repair the mistakes and stupid things i did while drinking alcohol, so they are there, i guess its just talking about it left. to start off, when i drink alcohol i have a hard time finding my limit, i feel like i swing from nothing to completely blacked out, puking, sobbing and basically hating myself very quick, i feel sick for days after drinking, barely able to eat, leave bed, move, i feel so nauseous and tired, its so fucked up what it does to your body, but oh your mind is even worse. i've broken off relationships, cheated, threatened people, gotten into fights, brawls, got my arm broken, hurt myself repeatedly, gotten arrested and a criminal record that may prevent me from going to canada next year, and is currently delaying booking flights, ive missed work, shown up drunk same clothes no shower to work, but the main thing that alcohol does to me is makes me sad. alcohol makes me so fucking sad, it makes me reach into the deepest pits i can think of and brings out all the emotions that are in there, my ex being the main one. every time i used to drink id think of her, call her, text her, go on her facebook, look up her instagram her twitter, fuck it drive my car to her house to see if her cars there like that does anything or means anything just fucking alcohol is so stupid. i never want to feel like that again, i never want to sabotage my life, sabotage and self destruct my relationships, but i guess losing my friends is the thing i have to take in consideration. australia is a fucked up place, where drinking heavily is the social norm and if you don't get fucked up or even have a beer with mates you're a loser.

i just want a deep connection with my friends. when i was in newcastle with my partner, i  met her friends there that she had been living with, despite the fucked up things that happened to her there, she lost a lot of friends herself and a long time friend, had trouble finding new ones, trouble fitting in, the friends she had there were the most honest and truly welcoming, connecting people ive met, and i miss that. i miss having a friend you can just, go over to their place, sit around for 3-4 hours talking shit, laughing, listening to music, relaxing and sharing stories and shit. weird that people can have such an effect on you in a short time. the life i live here is full of making plans, only for them to be cancelled, inviting friends over, for nobody to show up, cancelled plans all the fucking time, i've never been asked to just come over and chill, never its always some group thing that i'm invited to as well. i even try talking to them about this, i told a group of girl friends i have, i miss you all and haven't seen you in so long, we need to have a casual hangout, and the message was almost completely ignored, i asked them all to come to mind to watch the grand final, the house was free, i got a big projector screen, big comfy couch, live central right in the middle of everyone, nobody even replied or brought it up again, yet the second someone else that lives in the far corners of perth brought it up everyone started chatting about their plan to go. so if that's not my friends making it obvious they don't want to see me, they only include me then thats fucked up. i don't know what to say, this happens all the time, my 21st birthday i invited 65 people, and less than 15 people showed up. its hard to keep trying, always trying, i always try to make social events, i always ask friends what they are doing, when they can see me, make plans, they get cancelled, they are busy, they say they're coming then don't show up, most of the time i never hear a word too, they just dont show and don't even apologize, is that a fair thing to do, yeah sometimes i dont go to my friends events, i'm too fucking tired or just don't feel like going, somethings come up, i tell them straight away i cant make it i'm sorry this has come up, yet i don't get the same courtesy.

am i an unlikable person

the guys at work seem to like me, so i started a baking apprenticeship, basically i started watching great british bake off and picked it up as a hobby, making cakes and stuff, actually i should go back. so i used to work in some shitty small software company in the city, 9-5, peak hour traffic, office drama, workplace bullies, understaffed, overworked, red tape and bullshit everywhere, i quit after 2.5 years for mental health reasons, i made a lot of money but had to move on, so i spent a year off , it was only supposed to be a few months, go on a holiday road trip with my then partner, S, she broke up with me via a text message right after eagles lost to melbourne at home, basically the footy game was more disappointing, we had a shit relationship, i think i resented her, i cheated on her, yeah i'm an awful person and deserve everything, she was an emotionally manipulative person, terrified of her own body and sex, tried to dominate my life and change me, im glad we broke up. so i stayed unemployed for a long time, over a year, barely looking, until i found this baking apprenticeship, not only did i apply for the job and write a completely custom cover letter (im so fucking lazy i usually close a job application the second it requires anything more than an apply button) AND i called back a few weeks later when i heard nothing, well turns out that call landed me the job, the apprentice they hired instead of me was useless, had no passion and was a slow worker. so i got the job, and basically have been killing it ever since, i get a lot of praise at work (lots of criticism too) baking is one of those things that takes time, its all about time, so i got a lot to learn but i am actually confident once in my life, holy shit i have a job i like and am good at. is this the dream?> lol 

so today i started writing my feelings down, and its kinda felt good, but i'm exhausted now, and my fingers hurt, so this is the end of my first post, i hope nobody reads it, its really just for me but i don't know. 

thanks for listening   i guess 

[megpotpies-blog]

OH, ALL THIS LOVE CRAP.

Valentines day was fuckin' magical this year. *insert sarcasm.* I cried a whole bunch, blasted a bunch of "fuck love" memes to the timeline, made an awesome 60 second vocal cover of a lesbian love song, and took a depression nap. Topped all that off with not being able to find my god damn keys for over 2 hours and having a panic attack over it only to find out they fell off the counter into russells boot. Got some of the basement organized and listened to shitty music. mostly chiodos. Whatever. Either way. Realized today alot of things such as "Sometimes you just need to be rescued." Sometimes you are blind to situations, and sometimes a few outside sources need to come in like a wrecking ball and blow your fucking mind to help you realize what the hell you are doing to yourself in your situation. People to slap your ass back into reality instead of just letting you setteling and dealing with less than you deserve. Not saying I was the greatest, because sometimes I was just plain crappy. But everyone has their days. Just not 3 years worth of them. The second thing I learned was that despite taking a hiatus almost completely from music that I haven't lost my pipes. I definitely need to practice breathing control and get my pitches under control... But I blew my mind today. First time in over a year ive sat down and just fucking went to town on the thing I love most, and I nailed it. COULD HAVE done the entire song... But at risk of feeling like I was out of practice, I quit while I was ahead. And the third thing I learned was that sometimes its just best to take a step back and breathe and assess the damage that's really been done in a situation. Can you mentally get past all the crap and forgive? Can you work around the bullshit hand that you were dealt? Point is, I got a moon pie, a pair of heart socks, and a card from my son, and got some shit accomplished. Yeah, I might have bawled my eyes out, suffered from lovesickness and picked on a few people about their choice of romantic partner picking apart how their relationships probably sucked worse than my previous one... I guess if I'm being completely honest, I hope all you picture perfect couples and million roses people had the most awesome of days, but that's not what I'm after... I chased the picture perfect couple life for so long, trying to grasp every second that WAS positive... And in the end I realize you should capture "just because's" and not just the "picture perfect" ones. Candid laughter, sadness, etc. I was thinking, Theres no "bad hair day" photos like the ones my father took of my mother anymore, theres no photos like the ones of my father pulling me in a wagon on the beach... Its all staged. It's fake. The perfect angles, the retakes... The lighting adjusted and the filters placed juuusst right... Fuck that, I want to be photographed with sloppy ass makeup and terrible hair after waking up in someones arms after a night out with friends, laughing while I tell him the story of the night before, or even something as simple as reading a book. Just a fragment of time that my someone doesn't want to ever lose... And I realize the only time I was ever photographed at all was when it was a public event. Convienience to "be the perfect looking thing." I'm sick of fake. I'm long overdue to be swept off my fucking feet in the proper fucking fashion, and I'm almost 87.99999% repeated sure that my retard in tin foil is somewhere out there completely unaware I even exist, or knows I do and has no fucking idea how to approach me because of my fire memes and my amaze-balls personality and my clear lack of people skills, not to mention my super intimidating sense of humor and basic knowledge of nothing at all in particular. But I digress. I know what I offer. I'm dark and im damaged and thats okay. Coz honestly the best banana bread comes from the most darkened and buised bananas in the bunch. All I need to do now is figure out where to find another bruised banana and bam! Potential magic! Or at the very least a few damaged idiots that jive really well together making everything okay for eachother again, if only even just for a while. Forever is a crazy concept. I just want to be loved until my partners heart takes its last beat, and or vice versa. Sorry if my bitter ass ruined it for y'all... Literal first Valentine's day I've ever been single on sense I was like... 17ish... Lol. But sometimes you realize that you cant win every hand and that sometimes you just have to leave your blind behind and fold. Time to trade in my chips and move foreward. YEEHAW!