#and yeah that also means trope Sivan

[dancerachanation]

X

[jiminieloved]

So I looked at your masterlist but didn't find anything. have you ever answered an ask about Jimin distancing himself from Kook in 2015? If you haven't,can you please share ALL ALL ALL of your thoughts? I LOOOVE! reading your posts and insights.

Okay so I’m guessing by Jimin distancing himself, you’re referring to the common trope in Jikook shipping analysis videos that Jimin threw himself at Jungkook and then pulled back and then Jungkook opened up in return? Yeahhh I kinda think that whole narrative is BS. So let’s go through the chronology of 2015 using my Jikook Timeline to help, and I’ll give you my thoughts on their relationship in this time period. 

January 2015 was much of the same, in my view. They were posting lots of selcas together, Jimin was spending lots of his pastime riling him up in Bangtan bombs, being his goofy self, Jimin mentions that on their break he and Jungkook traveled to Busan together. I think Jungkook’s increasing fondness was growing more and more evident in this period. You could frequently catching him smiling fondly at Jimin in interviews, or even occasionally checking him out. They were also still spending a lot of time practicing dance together in their free time, as they had been doing throughout 2014. Of course, they were still very immature, and that reflected in their sometimes awkward interactions with each other, but such is life.

February of 2015 once again showed evidence of Jungkook warming up toward Jimin in a fond, loving way. He was still his teasing self, but in interviews or video messages, he started to show a specific look just for Jimin.

March 2015 is where things started to get very interesting. This is when Jungkook posted the famed song recommendation for “Memo” by Years & Years. I’ve spoken about it numerous times, but all you really need to know is in the lyrics...

In March, I noticed they took a looooot of pictures together. I mean, they did anyway, but it was more than usual to me at a quick glance. Something that could mean nothing but could also mean something. 

In April 2015, we got some behind the scenes content where we noticed that Jimin was wearing Jungkook’s jacket. Jimin continued making lots of Jungkook-centric tweets. He seemed to be so supportive of Jungkook’s career moves and artistry. Jimin also named Jungkook as the group’s visual during an interview. April ended off with a video of Jimin giving Jungkook brotherly advice while sitting in his lap and stroking his hair....

May 2015: You know that one famous interview where Jimin tells the interviewer that he finds Jungkook adorable, and then Tae calls him gay, and Jimin doesn’t deny it? Yeah. May 2015 is when this clip originated. Not too much later, in a separate TV appearance JK singled out JM as the member who helped him relieve stress.

Throughout May they held lots of fansigns, and each one Jikook had a few cute moments. 

Distance who?

June 2015 is when both members seem to have a period of great happiness! Jimin even tweeted that he was so happy these days. 

Coincidentally, this is the first time they would wear matching outfits. They wore them to the airport on June 4. For FESTA, Jungkook wrote Jimin’s specialty as being #1 in looks. Maybe he was making up for the past, maybe he was teasing. I thought it was cute either way. In late June, Jungkook tweeted a video of Jimin sleeping. What a brat X) We also got this gem.

July 2015, Jimin returned the favor and filmed Jungkook sleeping. July also feataured Jungkook feeding Jimin ice cream by hand, and a very memorable video of Jimin obsessing over Jungkook’s red hair for 5 minutes straight, to Hobi’s annoyance. When asked during a press conference how Jimin feels about Jungkook ranking him last in looks rankings, Jimin replied “It’s nothing now.” Jikook once again wore matching outfits to the airport this month. 

Throughout July they had multiple cute Twitter moments.

August 2015, the craziest Jikook month in my opinion, started off with Jungkook calling Jimin handsome in a Vlive, and Jimin responding shyly. ISAC came and went with some cute jikook moments.

And thennnn, Jimin fainted on stage. Just days after this, some extremely meaningful onstage interactions occured between the pair. Jimin’s face in this picture says it all. 

A few intensely suspicious Twitter interactions later, this concert moment happened. 

September 2015: This is the month of Jimin begging for kisses, lol. Jimin begging Jungkook for a kiss and Jimin uploading 6 (six) videos of Jungkook on his birthday. Let’s not forget this photo....

October 2015 is the month when Jungkook discovered Troye Sivan, and tweeted accordingly. He also recommended the song “Beautiful Dancer” by IU, and requested that viewers listen from 1:23.... Jimin tweeted the results of a puzzle that he worked on with Jungkook. 

November had several BTS Run moments that proved that Jikook were still just as close. This picture definitely doesn’t scream “Jimin is keeping his distance” to me, lol.

Season’s Greetings 2016 was released and well.... there was a lot going on there. Though they were posting less photos together, the videos from this period did nothing but reaffirm their closeness. 

December 2015, Jikook blessed us once again with some selcas. 

December had lots of concerts, fansigns, variety shows and more. 

Distance who?

I could go into a lot more detail but the proof is in the content. This “distancing” narrative that Jikookers love to spout is just completely not a thing. 2015 was chock full of Jikook, and Jimin was doing nothing to hold that back.

[calamity-bean]

Chambers (2019)

Anyone around here watched Chambers?

I binged it recently on a whim, knowing nothing about it, when I started, other than the basic premise: a horror series about a teenage girl who starts having strange experiences after receiving a heart transplant. Supernatural horror about transplant recipients is an established trope, so if you’re familiar with it, then I reckon you can imagine the major (heart)beats of where Chambers is going with it. But just because it may be familiar doesn’t mean it’s not an enjoyable ride!

And I did get pretty engrossed. The horror elements were not, to me, particularly scary, but they were well done. I grew attached to several characters quickly, especially the protagonist, Sasha, and her uncle/guardian, Big Frank. Characters almost always carry a story for me (more so than plot), and I liked getting to know the character dynamics here and watching the more domestic subplots unfold; Sasha’s actress (Sivan Alyra Rose) has to carry a lot of the tension and emotion based on her performance alone, and I think she did a great job. And I love the setting: the Arizona desert, which Chambers fills with vast expanses and roaring sandstorms and lightning that boils through the wide, wide sky. It’s a beautiful and effective backdrop, and I found the horror/mystery elements and the character work strong enough to rec Chambers to horror fans on the basis of those elements alone.

But I think what really makes Chambers stand out are its themes. Specifically, its critique of cultural appropriation, which underpins the setting as well as the narrative in many ways. It’s a story led by a Navajo protagonist that draws its horror from the idea of being taken over and used without permission by forces that are conspicuously ultramodern, performative, and white.

More explanation of what I mean by that below, but I’m going to get into spoilers to do so (some major), so... Short version, Chambers is worth a try if you’re interested in horror stories with female and/or Native American leads; for the long version, spoilers under the cut!

Cottonwood versus Crystal Valley

So. Like I said, Chambers is set primarily in Arizona, in two towns surrounded and separated by desert.

The first is Sasha’s hometown, Cottonwood. It’s smallish, working-class; money is a pressing concern for several characters there, and the high school Sasha attends is implied to be limited in its resources and academic opportunities. Notably, many of the residents we see are nonwhite. Sasha is Navajo, as are her uncle Frank and her boyfriend TJ, who is also half Pima. (Sasha, Frank, and TJ’s actors are all of varying Native American / First Nations backgrounds; I’ve seen articles saying Sivan Alyra Rose is the first Native actress to star in a Netflix series, and it’s certainly notable that this series has multiple Native leads.) Sasha’s best friend, Yvonne, is black, and we see plenty of other brown and black characters in supporting and background roles.

The other town, Crystal Valley, was home to Sasha’s heart donor. Becky was the same age as Sasha, and her sudden death under strange circumstances provides the mystery that drives much of the plot. The contrast between Cottonwood and Crystal Valley is... striking. Becky’s family and friends are all conspicuously wealthy and white-collar. Their school is extremely modern, in its facilities as well as in its sensibilities, and academically elite. And the vast majority of the students, Becky included, are white. Which makes it VERY intentional irony, of course, that Crystal Valley High’s mascot is...

...the Braves. YEAH.

I’ll say right up front that I’m (1) white and (2) not particularly well versed in Navajo culture (or the cultures of other Southwestern peoples) or in the specific issues relevant to them today. I’m sure there are people who could go into Chambers’s portrayal of Sasha, her community, and their concerns with much more nuance and depth than I can. But even a viewer with superficial knowledge can’t help but notice that cultural appropriation is very much a theme of this show, both in the details and in the grand scope of the narrative. Sasha feels like an outsider right away as (through the sponsorship of Becky’s family) she switches schools from Cottonwood to Crystal Valley, and the more time she spends there, the more the weirdness and isolation pile on.

One of the most conspicuously weird elements involves a New Age–esque group called the Annex Foundation, which Becky’s family has some sort of connection with. The Annex folks are very into crystals. They are very into energies and yoga, ayahuasca and equinox festivals, and burning sage. Their beliefs and behaviors are a grab-bag of practices loosely adapted/reinvented from all sorts of traditions, whereas the members themselves, as far as I can recall, are almost all white.

I’m not super well versed in the New Age movement either, but I have read that this exact sort of thing is something that the movement has been widely criticized for irl — its tendency to borrow beliefs and customs from various world religions and appropriate them to the movement’s own purposes, thus using them without permission and divorcing them from their original context. We see this idea echoed everywhere in the speech and accoutrements of the Annex Foundation members. We see it in the way Sasha is pressured into leaving Cottonwood and trying to assimilate into Crystal Valley. And we see it in the way that Sasha’s supernatural connection with Becky, whose memories and personality begin to seep into her, literally begins turning Sasha white. 

There are tons of other little details that flesh out this theme — far more than I can get into. I don’t think Chambers portrays all its white characters as evil or unsympathetic. But it’s absolutely grappling with race and with a specific racialized phenomenon, and I think supernatural horror is an interesting context in which to explore it. Sasha’s relationship with her own race and culture is also complicated. As a result of her upbringing, she hasn’t had much contact with her extended family, and she feels disconnected from and somewhat ignorant of the wider Navajo community. In contrast to much of the horror coming from appropriation, her efforts to reconnect with her own family and heritage become a source of inner strength.

There is one major aspect of the overall plot that’s connected to this theme and that... didn’t quite work for me. But it’s a plot point that crops up VERY late in the game, so major end-of-season spoilers in this next section...

Spoilers! Big Ones!!

It becomes clear pretty early on, imo, that the Annex Foundation is the villain of the whole piece. I’m fine with that; it’s what I expected, it makes sense, it’s coherent with the overall theme. It’s furthermore eventually revealed that Becky’s death was connected to the Foundation’s attempt to use her as the earthly vessel for a demon they summoned out of the desert. I’m... like... okay with that. I’ve mentioned in the past that I find horror about spooky masked/robed cults of demon worshipers to be... How can I put this? SUPER cheesy. So cheesy that it can ruin an entire story for me. That’s just a personal preference, though, and even I don’t know how to completely account for it. But whatever. It’s just one aspect of the overall story here, and it fits in with the broader themes well enough. I can deal.

But what bothered me, in this case, is that the demon in question is revealed, in the season’s final episode, to be... Lilith? For some reason?

There’s no mention of Lilith before the season finale. There’s nothing, before the finale, related to Jewish mythology, Adam and Eve, “the divine feminine,” or conflict between male and female — like I’ve said, the primary thematic tension is based on race, not gender, and I don’t think gender really plays a role in the show’s exploration of cultural appropriation, either. Yet suddenly these concepts are brought in during the season finale?

I guess the idea that the Annex Foundation would glom onto a random figure from a different world tradition fits in with the whole idea of cultural appropriation, but I don’t see how Lilith specifically fits in. I don’t see why she’s taken the form of a cloud of dust/smoke out in the Arizona desert. I see themes of complicated mother/daughter relationships in the earlier episodes, but nothing related to femininity as a force unto itself (which is what the Annex folks start going on about at the very end). On the one hand, I really appreciate that this series casts a white neoreligion as its ~strange, mysterious, dangerous supernatural force~ (as opposed to the many stories that use a white/outsider POV confronted with ~strange, mysterious, dangerous~ indigenous forces), but honestly, I had been thinking that perhaps the “demon” was some sort of spirit that was native to the desert and that the Annex Foundation had simply stumbled upon it, mistaken its nature/identity, and was trying to appropriate it for their own purposes. I think that would fit in with the appropriation theme and would also explain why the spirit was not a good fit for Becky’s body (ultimately leading to her death). Moreover, the very end of the season implies that Sasha does have some kind of harmony with the “demon” inside her and can utilize it and live with it in a way that Becky never could. If this “demon” were some sort of spirit that was native to her own land and that the Annex people had tried to appropriate, I think that would fit in with the theme of Sasha reconnecting with her own heritage and finding strength in it.

So... yeah. Still trying to figure out how I feel about that aspect, or whether I missed something somewhere along the way, idk. Maybe it’ll make more sense to me in season 2, if it gets renewed.

Overall...

Regardless, though, Chambers still has a lot going for it. It has a talented and diverse cast with many likable and/or interesting characters. It incorporates difficult, relevant themes into its narrative and utilizes its setting to great effect, both in terms of the cultures it explores and in terms of the landscape itself. I think the horror elements were done well, though in much the way I expected. If you’re already familiar with the “transplant recipient has supernatural connection with the donor” trope, then yeah, it's the “transplant recipient has supernatural connection with the donor” trope! And imo, the members of the Annex Foundation telegraph “EVIL CULT EVIL CULT” from pretty much their first appearance, so I wasn’t exactly shocked. But the acting, writing, themes, and setting are all strong, and I became invested in several of the characters very quickly. So if any of this sounds interesting to you, consider giving it a try!

[aviaryworkshop]

Iv’e never had such an overwhelming urge to draw fan art!?!! Aghhghhh I love Avery and your writing so much it hUrTs Could you do questions 1 and 42 (for Avery, Arlo too if you’d like) for the asks thing :P Hope you have a wonderful day!

omg PSA if anyone draws fanart of my fic i WILL cry!!! tysm omg I’m so glad you’re liking it!!!! 

1. what inspires you? 

honestly my source material!!! like for video games, i’ll often really like a certain line of dialogue from an NPC and then I build a scene out around it and then that starts to fit into a plot and... yeah lmao. avery’s story was inspired by the actual trials and tribulations of trying to get arlo to take the heart knot lmao, in-game he rejected avery like three times i think? sometimes it’s also songs, or just a feel-good trope like a coffee shop AU or a soulmates AU. 

42. five songs that this character has on their iphone/ipod?omg okay so for avery, i combed through my music and threw everything i thought vibed with him into a (VERY LONG) playlist and it can be summed up into the following categories: 

jams/bops/karaoke music, like ‘crush’ by tessa violet (his favorite song), ‘talk too much’ by COIN, ‘uptown funk’ by bruno mars (he would KILL THIS at karaoke) and ‘be mean’ by DNCE (not a commentary on his sex life it’s just an absolute jam)

songs that everyone knows but only avery knows all of the words to, like ‘hips don’t lie’ by shakira and ‘worth it’ by fifth harmony

absolutely lovesick hopeless romantic songs, like ‘honeybee’ by the head and the heart, ‘still’ by jake mirador, ‘banana pancakes’ by jack johnson, ‘my my my!’ by troye sivan and ‘i want you’ by marian hill

for arlo... this is so much harder lmao, honestly he’d probably be into dad rock (just... as a genre), young the giant, and cage the elephant. honestly in a modern au i could see ‘ain’t no rest for the wicked’ by cage the elephant being one of his favorite songs and being pleasantly surprised when avery knows all the words. avery could forget his own birthday but damn if he doesn’t absorb every lyric to every song he ever hears

[footballwritersprofile-blog]

Football Fic Writer Profile - Utami (thebluesideofmyworld)

Hello lovely people! We hope that you all are having a great week so far. We meet again in another article, featuring one of the fic writers from the football fandom.

Have we told you before that we felt like there are so many fic writers who were born on February? Here’s another one who was also born on February. On February 14, to be exact.

People, please welcome Utami. And yes, people. It’s her birthday today!

Happy birthday, Utami!

You can find her on her Tumblr ( @thebluesideofmyworld )  where she posts her M/F fics, or you can also go to her AO3 account where she posts her slash fics.

Now let’s refresh our memories about her writing by reading an excerpt from one of her fics

She curled up on her couch, staring at the TV without really looking at it. It was one of her favorite TV shows, yet she could not seem to get excited about it anymore.

Her phone went off. Mats name flashed on the screen. She stared at it for a while, the ringtone sounded so loud, too loud in the living room.

After a while the phone went silent again.

She stared at her phone, thinking that maybe Mats would just be like the other people. Those people who would leave her anyway at the end.

(People always left her anyway. No one wanted to stay with her anyway.)

(Can You Hold Me)

Utami is originally from Indonesia, but she has been in the US since 2013 to do a postgrad degree in Environmental Engineering. She is currently having a massive crush on Asa Taccone, the vocalist from Electric Guest, and spends her times listening to songs from Troye Sivan and Fall Out Boy while waiting for Voltron S05 to be released. She is a supporter of Manchester City and Real Madrid. Those of you who might have checked her blog out would not be surprised to find that her favorite player is David Silva.

She started writing by writing her thoughts in a diary since she was 8 years old, because she said that it had always been easier for her to express what she felt by writing it. In late 2009, she found a fansite for a talent show in her country where she found some fanfics posted there. Out of curiosity, she tried to post the first chapter of a fic there. She ended up writing more and more for that fandom. She said that even though the fandom faded out slowly after the talent show ended, she would still remember it as her first experience in writing fics.

Writing is something that she enjoys because she said that it’s really a good way for her to express herself. She has always had a wild imagination since she was a kid, probably because she loved reading so much. She often has imaginary scenes and conversations in her head, and writing them out is something she find to be soothing. “Lately, I also try to remember what my therapist once told me, that I should see writing as a self-care method and coping mechanism for me, as I feel through writing, I can be a better version of myself.”

Even though she has been watching football ever since she was a kid, the first time she encountered football fics was in 2012. She read the fics and started wondering whether she could also do one. In December 2012, she decided to give it a try, and her first football fic was about David Silva with an OFC. “I cringed whenever I read it,” she said. “I changed the POV every 2 paragraphs, the dialogue was unnatural, and the description was so so bland.” However, she said that it was her fic that was written in English so she felt like it’s something that she should be proud of.

Besides one-shot, she also used to do requests where she would write 100-word drabble based on a song requested by someone. “I love the challenge of trying to understand the meaning behind the songs, then put it into a limited number of words,” she said. Since 2015, she also started writing slash fics. She personally found that it had a different kind of challenge. “In slash fics, the pairing usually already had some sort of chemistry that’s shown through their interactions in real life. So the real challenge is how to put those chemistry into words.” Besides the football fandom, since last year, she has also written for the riordanverse fandom. For this fandom then, she said that there is another kind of challenge, which was how put the characters into her story and head-canon without making them OOC.

Her inspirations mainly come from songs, and music videos. Whenever she found a song that she liked, she would look up the meaning of that song and try to analyze each line of the song. “I love MVs that have some sort of story line,” she said. “Some of my fics for the riordanverse fandom were inspired by MVs, like Wildfire from Seafret, and First Time He Kissed a Boy by Kadie Elder.”

Once she gets an idea for a fic, she will jot down some things that she thought would be essential in the fic in her journal. Music is a big must whenever she writes a fic, along with a cup of coffee. One of her strategies in writing is by making herself write at least 500 words every day. She finds it to be quite effective, especially when she is working on a multi-chaptered fic.

While she really enjoys writing fluff, she said that she can’t write some angst. According to her, real life is already hard enough, so she doesn’t want to put more sadness into something that supposed to be an escape. She particularly loves AU fics. “It takes quite a lot of imagination to put the characters into a whole different set of universe, yet you still have to write them as who they really are canonically. I enjoy both reading it and writing it.” When it comes to the kind of AU that she likes, she said that she is a sucker for Soulmate!AU fic and Coffee Shop AU (Well, considering that she drinks at least 4 cups of coffee a day, we was not really surprised about this).  She also mentioned that one of her favorite tropes is Fake Dating. She told us that one of her fics that she’s most proud of is The Thin Line. “It’s about  David/Joe which is one of my favorite pairings, it’s an AU fic, and it’s a fake dating one. And somehow I managed to squeeze in Fernando Torres to give a shovel talk in the fic.” Here’s an excerpt of that fic:

David looked up at Joe and his eyes were wide and warm. But the look in those caramel eyes were a mix of longing and sincerity and something vulnerable. Joe absently thought whether it was the same kind of look that David found in his eyes. Joe cupped David’s cheek with one hand, gently ran the pad of his thumb over David’s jaw. They were still swaying along with the music but their feet moved slower and slower, like the way the final notes of a symphony faded away before it ended. He slowly leaned forward and everything was starting to blur into slow motion. Joe could see each and every single one of David’s lashes. A little part of his mind realized that at some point they had stopped moving but at the moment Joe also felt like they were inside an invisible bubble, mist and cloud around them. Joe stopped moving right when the tip of his nose touched David’s. David’s breathing was warmly ghosting, almost like teasing, against his skin.

David’s eyes fluttered closed and his hands slid up Joe’s neck, threading his fingers between Joe’s curls. Joe closed his eyes but behind his eyelids he saw the cherry red of David’s cheeks, the rosy red of David’s lips.

In her writing, some of the lines can come in such a lyrical, almost poetical way, even when she was only using simple words. For example, let’s have a look at an excerpt from one of her fics here:

They were close enough that their shoulders sometimes brush each other. But the silence between them stretched like an unbearable distance.

They were so close, Marco could reach out for her hand to hold it.

He didn’t.

(He knew he wouldn’t be able to let it go had he done it)

She never asked him to stay anyway. So Marco left.

(That night Marco dreamt about winning the Champions League with Real Madrid. He won the cup and brought the cup home with him. The home was big and beautiful but it was empty. Marco hated the dream)

(Dream)

Utami said that one of her biggest insecurities in writing is her English. She said that she always finds her grammar is all over the place, especially when it comes to tenses. She also admitted that she felt her vocabulary is really limited, and she often scared whether she’s using the right word with the right context. “But I guess, one of the ways that I can do to improve is by reading even more and just keep on writing,” she said.

At the moment, she is working on two fics for the riordanverse fandom, in which one of them is a Musician!AU. She also mentioned that she has started a Creative Writing challenge last year, and she is considering to continue the challenge this year for the football fics.

We asked her for one tips she would like to share with us, and this is what she gave us.

The best way to improve in writing is just by doing it. It would be much better if you like, really write something, anything, other than just keep on saying that you want to write. Start small. Having 100 words scribbled on a piece of paper is still much better than nothing.

Well people, it has been a great pleasure to know more about Utami. And we hope that you also enjoy it as much as we do!

And as always. Let’s close this with another excerpt from one of her works, that she claimed to be one of the fics that was really dear to her

“So,” James said as they both standing on the pavement. “Well… It was… Nice…” he said, turning his head to look at David.

“Uh. Yeah,” David said, nervously smiled back at James.

His heartbeat started racing like crazy.

Thump thump thump.

He couldn’t do this. He shouldn’t do this. It was barely two weeks ago he had his heart broken. He was not ready for this.

(What was this, anyway?)

( The Color of the Sky)

[riskeith]

aside from that, ur graphics must look incredible! i’ve seen some comparison pics and pc graphics are God Tier. help the second lowest being “high”... good riddance. 😶

summer 2016! it seems so long ago like a whole different universe. everything was so beautiful back then.. everybody was out and about hunting pokémon’s... that zine is so cute! i wouldn’t say main i actually only got into them a little while ago and i’m still mostly tddk and kiribaku but bkdk is interesting.. to say the least. i haven’t seen what happens in the manga (only a bit of spoilers especially that cover...) and s4 didn’t give us That many scenes with them but i’m keeping my eyes open... wbu?

IDK like their descriptions make it seem like they might help you find some specific treasures??? like the gold seelie giving you fortune aka mora? not sure tho hehe... YEAH THAT FANART!!! so cute i wanna eat them all.. forbidden snack. 🥺 omg funny you mention that... i met xiao just earlier for the first time and when i saw his entire outfit i was like.. hm i wonder what he would look like in darker clothing HAHA. but yeah skins would be awesome!!!! like a clothing shop or smth somewhere????? anyway when i saw him i was like HEY that’s cluna’s boy!

ALBEDO IS A BAD BITCH. his hair is perfect perfect perfect. actually everything about him is so perfect he’s just a delicate little guy... 🥺 dude us talking about albedo and opening up the game and seeing his banner is like... 👀 temptation.

with venti??? i’m not sure which quest you mean i did the archon one with him though and it was awesome. does he have more? I DID LOOK IT UP AND MURASE IS MAKING HIS VOICE EVEN HIGHER AND IT’S SO CUTE I WISH I KNEW IT BEFOREHAND SO I COULD’VE HEARD HIS VOICE WHILE DOING THE MISSION. 😭 oh well 😭

hopefully there are some good 4 stars too. who are you wishing for? anyone special? imagine having xingqiu and chongyun.... that’s like the dream. and bennett and razor and you have the boy scout party haha!! do you have mostly claymore users?

i remember you mentioning you don’t like book users but i’ve actually really grown to love them hehe. their long range attacks are so nice and handy! KAZE DA! 😭 bro stop i literally have a crush on venti it’s ridiculous.. imagine closing ur eyes and talking and it’s his voice.... (OR HINATA!!!) murase is so lucky... he seems like such a great guy too ajsksjdk..

ok friends to lovers goodness! 🥺 i’m considering getting twitter just to see fanart... maybe.. o.o

ooooo that’s so thorough! in all caps caught my attention, why do you do that? personally, if it’s something longer i write bulletpoints of the concept but never like... actual plot yk? i’ve tried before but i doesn’t work for me very well. so.. i wing it! and like you i just get inspired randomly, it could be from song lyrics or thinking about tropes i enjoy. 😜

loona is cool! they have this whole story about their group. i highly recommend checking them out! i wonder if they kept it up though lmao. oh yeah everyone loves hozier he just speaks to the soul.. LOVELY IS MY FAVORITE SONG!!!!! LIKE EASILY TOP SONGS OF MY LIFE!!! it makes me so happy that you like it even if you skip it lmaojsjdjsjsjdk and i like billie a lot!! ariana too she has great music.., idk if you’ve heard of the group the neighborhood but i like them too. lana del rey as well! haha guess it’s super basic stuff tbh. all of them with mostly slow songs.. sorry 😭

OK GOOD. all nighters are honestly horrible. i don’t get how people can pull them off and get things done... (hopefully you never have to either!) YEAH haha 8 am is my favorite hour i think... that and 9 pm. they’re just special. what’s your favorite time of day? listen if you stay up to read fics that’s valid. midnight up is like the perfect time to read fics it makes them appear more magical sjdkdhdk.

i hope i caught you today but if not, hope you’re sleeping well babe! ♥️

sorry i was playing genshin! JFKSNXKSNKSJ i started before 12am and before i knew it it was already 1am… my goodness

and yeah i watched this vid comparing the graphic quality settings (i play on the default one) and i was like??? people really be playing like this? LOL can’t relate

edit: missed this paragraph oops but yeah what a time 2016 was! (lmao voltron started that year iirc) i remember we had an athletics event and legit everyone was on their phones jfksnfksnd. oooo! nice tddk and krbk are very good very nice. and also yeah that cover lol i love that you didn’t even have to specify which one i just Know. hmm i think rn bkdk would be one of the top ships i’m interested in aside from todobaku? they just have so much history ya know? and they have a lot of moments in the second movie! oh wait did you know that there are movies? two of them in fact!! the kiribaku is pretty strong in the first one (but there are some todobaku moments too lol). and there are a few OVAs too. WAIT are you all caught up with the anime? can’t rmemeber if you’ve told me or not 😫

oooo if that were the case tho what would the others give? i did like the “sea blue” description or something of the blue one tho 😩 YOU WANNA EAT THEM FJDJCJSKNCSKJCKSNXJS NO!!! but i can understand.. they look very squishy. THAT’S MY BOY!!!!!! honoured you thought of me <33 yo i was also wondering what chongyun would look like in darker clothes too HDKSKDN see this is why i need to learn how to draw.… gotta put them in the clothes i want since we can’t do that in game!! but a shop would be so cute omg

JFKSKSKAKS i’ve legit been staying away from opening the wish menu as much as i can.… it’s too tempting i can’t!!

yeah the archon one is what i meant sorry! forgot the name for it lol. and yes there is! once you reach AR 35 or something you can unlock story quests and venti is one of them 👀👀 RIPPPP BUT AT LEAST YOU KNOW NOW 😭😭

i think just xingqiu rn!! i’ve been holding off ascending barbara in hopes of getting him, bc i grinded some oceanid (literally the worst fucking boss ever) before i ascended so i’m just hoarding those materials rn fjskdnd. yesss the boy scouts 😭🥺 but i heard chongyun and razor’s elemental skills cancel each other out so rip.. hmm i did a count and i think i have 3 each of claymore and catalyst users! hbu?

omg nooooo betrayal 😭 tho ngl i’m considering using ningguang bc i see people play her so well.. so i’m just carrying her around in my team hoping to passively level her up HAHAHA. i def appreciate their long range attacks too, lisa’s burst especially is quite nice. CHJDKSKD that’s so cute but also very relatable 😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺 also did you know murase is like tall af it’s kinda crazy lol

there’s /so/ much good fanart!!! it’s where i’m getting a taste of all the ships too lol but yeah there’s angst and fluff and just charas looking s*xy they’ve got it all 😩 but that also reminds me, like most other big fandoms genshin fandom is kinda fkn shit 😔 once again i’m thankful to myself for keeping such a small circle lmaooooo

honestly i don’t know either?? i think it helps me distinguish between what i’m actually writing vs what i’m planning like if i do something like “JUMPS OFF PLATFORM, LANDS IN FRONT. so, are you going to introduce me or do i have to do it myself ETC THEN THEY TALK SUDDENLY there’s the sound of a windchime, and VILLAINS HERE GOTTA FIGHT” it’ll look something like that jdjsndkskd where the lowercase is exact dialogue I wanna write in but the caps is just planning

but winging it ey that’s hot of you 🤪 god do you ever just like thinking about potential ideas before falling asleep but then your phone is far away/you don’t wanna hurt your eyes looking at a screen but then you’re also afraid you’ll forget the idea DJKSXKSK

:o! i think i stayed away bc of the whole “stan loona” thing DHSKKS but i might give them another shot! therefore i am is one of my go to songs rn hehe i really like the beats she uses they’re so funky. i don’t really like ariana sorry FJDJKSKS but she does have a lot of bangers!! side to side… 😘👌 and i do know the neighbourhood! sweater weather is so iconic but lately i’ve been skipping that too aahah. but have you heard daddy issues slowed? oh my god. that singlehandedly started my obsession with slowed songs (ironic isn’t it when you consider i don’t listen to normal slow songs fjsjdj) i like summertime sadness from lana! and young and beautiful too (the radio songs AHAH) but yeah.. they’re slow fjdkksks. how do you feel about halsey + melanie martinez + bastille? (i’m always paranoid about listing artists bc so many get cancelled or what other and i feel like randos are gonna come for me too JDKSKSKA.) oh and troye sivan!! and pentatonix if you’ve heard of them? i was obsessed with those two back in 2015 ahaha

omg crazy.. how!! hm my favourite hour is maybe 12pm? or 2pm? just some time in the afternoon i like when it’s still light outside but it’s also like “after school” time kinda .. and yesss reading fic at late hours… gets me crying more easily 🤪

i don’t think i’ll catch your next reply so goodnight in advance!! hope your day is great <3

[useyourrwords]

Month in Review // I FINALLY CHANGED MY NAME – February

You are officially reading the post of someone legally named Greyson and I am so fucking happy!

So obviously February was a bit of a landmark month for me and boy was it packed! And March looks to well an truly have earned the name Adelaide uses for it, March Madness.

          Introducing The Structured TBR

Last month I introduced my new structured TBR! So here is a quick overview for those who want to follow along.

Must Read

  5 books a month

 1 backlist ARC, if I have any 

 Read new ARCS ON TIME 

 2 owned backlist books 

 3 diverse books 

 10 entries from Rejected Princesses

 5 entries from Bygone Badass Broads

Allowances

 1 library book in either physical, ebook and 1 graphic novel format 

Month’s TBR

│Unbroken Anthology││

│The Boneless Mercies││

│Sadie││

│The Raven Boys││

│The Dream Thieves││

│Blue Lily, Lily Blue││

│The Raven King││

│Yaa Asantewaa│Mary Bowser│Nwanyeruwa│Nana Asma’u│Nanny of the Maroons│Agontime and the Dahomey Amazons│Josephine Baker│Nzinga Mbande│Arawelo│Ida B. Wells│Rejected Princesses││

│Queen Arawelo│Stagecoach Mary Fields│Sarah Breedlove AKA Madam C. J. Walker│Alice Ball│Nwanyeruwa│Lorraine Hansberry│Bygone Badass Broads││

So I knew when making my TBR last month that I probably wasn’t to get to all of these but wanted to see how I would go for my first structured TBR and I’m not entirely disappointed.

     Read

│Unbroken Anthology│Marieke Nijkamp│││││3.5★│Read Feb 4│

I wanted more from this one and it never quite got there.

│The Raven Boys│The Raven Cycle #1│Maggie Stiefvater││││││★★★★★│Read Feb 15│

Love love love! Even better the second time. You should see how many tabs I used. It’s going to take me forever to log all the quotes I marked.

I’ve linked my original review but I might do a new one at some point. .

│The Boneless Mercies│April Genevieve Tucholke││││││★★★│Read Feb 18│

Uh this was fine. It was entertaining and I loved the whole women seeking glory thing but it could have been more engaging. This is a really journey heavy book and those just aren’t my cup of tea.

│Queen Arawelo│Stagecoach Mary Fields│Sarah Breedlove AKA Madam C. J. Walker│Alice Ball│Nwanyeruwa│Lorraine Hansberry│Bygone Badass Broads│Mackenzi Lee││││Read Feb 7│

│Yaa Asantewaa│Mary Bowser│Nwanyeruwa│Nana Asma’u│Nanny of the Maroons│Agontime and the Dahomey Amazons│Josephine Baker│Nzinga Mbande│Arawelo│Ida B. Wells│Rejected Princesses│Jason Porath││││Read Feb 16│

Really glad that I’m using this year to finally read these two books and so far I am loving learning about 15 different women from history a month!

│The Dream Thieves│The Raven Cycle #2│Maggie Stiefvater││││││

So I kinda got into a bit of a slump at the end of the month and it really isn’t this books fault and is entirely because I’m not giving myself down time to do “pointless” fun things.

│Skylarks│Karen Gregory│││││

│The Surface Breaks│Lousie O’Neill│││││

Book of the Month

│Sadie│Courtney Summers│││││★★★★★│Read Feb 14│

This book is fucking brilliant. Like God has blessed us and her name is Courtney Summers and it’s just so fucking good.

│Average Rating: 4.1★│ 3│

Structured TBR Pass or Fail?

│Must Read:  4/5│ 1/1│ 0/0│ 1/2│ 4/3│ 10/10│ 6/5│

│Allowances:  2/1 P or EB | 0/1 GN│ 

This month was a bit of a fail but I expected as much as I have only just started to implement it! I knew I’d have a few kinks to work out as I went!

I didn’t quite reach my 5 book goal and I didn’t read 2 owned backlist books.

I also read 2 Physical/Ebook library loans so that broke the rules too.

Next month I’m going to bring my library loan all together so I can only read 1 physical book or one ebook or one graphic novel to make room for my backlist.

I’m also planning on adding audiobooks!

Past Grey Reads

 Book Review // Everything Leads To You – A Quite Love Story

 Book Review // Girl Made of Stars – I Am Broken

 Grey Reads // Everything’s On Fire and I Couldn’t Be Happier – Girls of Paper and Fire

        Film & TV

Month’s TBW

│On The Basis of Sex││

│The Favourite││

│Drag Race All Stars│Season 4││

│Jessica Jones│Season 2││

│The Young Pope│Season 1││

│Brooklyn Nine-Nine│Season 6││

│One Day At A Time│Season 3││

│I Am The Night│Season 1││

     Watched

│The Favourite││2018│ Yorgos Lanthimos│ Olivia Colman, Emma Stone, Rachel Weisz │★★★★★│

This was so fucking funny and just good.

So there’s a little story time for this that I’ll get into further down the post.

│Drag Race All Stars│Season 4││2012│ RuPaul│RuPaul, Michelle Visage│Watching weekly episodes│★★★★│

Fave One-liner This Season: “Yeah, well some of us don’t have to force story-lines to get air time” -Farrah Moan.

I am so mad at that ending, don’t talk to me. Also I was really hoping RuPaul would not be a judge on the new UK edition of Drag Race and I am nothing but disappointed.

this is my new fave drag race gif

│Brooklyn Nine-Nine│Season 6││2013│ Daniel J. Goor, Michael Schur│ Andre Braugher, Andy Samberg, Stephanie Beatriz│Watching weekly episodes│★★★★★│

This is great. I am actually all caught up! I really loved the episode that focused on Jake and Rosa solving an impossible case.

│One Day At A Time│Season 3││2017│ Gloria Calderon Kellett, Mike Royce│ Justina Machado, Todd Grinnell, Isabella Gomez│★★★★★│

I started watching this with mum and then binge watched the rest by myself and then got my aunt to watch the first two episodes of season 1 and then started watching the rest of season 3 with mum again.

│I Am The Night│Season 1││2019│ Patty Jenkins│ Chris Pine, India Eisley, Jefferson Mays│★★★★│

So I did start this but I’ve not been great and keeping up with new episodes…

I’m excited to see how it continues though!

│The Umbrella Academy│Episode 1││2019│ Jeremy Slater│ Ellen Page, Tom Hopper, David Castañeda │★★★★★│

This was a wild ride and I am looking forward to seeing how it goes.

│The Girl King││year│ Mika Kaurismäki│ Malin Buska, Sarah Gadon, Michael Nyqvist │★★★★★│

I mean at this point I might as well be on a hunt for sapphic royalty.

It was a bit made-for-tv-movie for me but I still enjoyed it.

│Russian Doll│Episode 1││2019│  Leslye Headland, Natasha Lyonne, Amy Poehler│ Natasha Lyonne, Charlie Barnett, Greta Lee│★★★★│

I had no idea what was happening but It was fun and I’m hoping to get to the rest of the season at some point.

│The Bold Type│Season 1││2017│ Sarah Watson│ Katie Stevens, Aisha Dee, Meghann Fahy│★★★★★│

I started this on the very last day of the month because I was anxious and sad and needed something to calm me down and make me happy… Or so I thought.

What I actually needed was a cathartic watch of women kicking ass and tackling lots of issue and to just cry and cry and cry which is exactly what I got from The Bold Type and I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!!

     Music

Mostly I’ve just be listening to music I can belt out and cry…

│Dodie│Sick of Losing Soulmates│Monster│Human│She│Burned Out│Secret For the Mad│

│Troye Sivan│i’m so tired…│

│Noah Cyrus│Mad At You│Sadness│Good Cry│

│Julia Michaels│Anxiety feat. Selena Gomez│Happy│Deep│What a Time feat. Nail Horan│

│Lauren Jauregui│Expectations│

│Billie Ellish│idontwannabeyouanymore│lovely w/ Khalid│when the party’s over│

│Ruin My Life│Zara Larsson│

Past Grey Watches

 Grey Watches // I Wanna Bone Jude Law and Kate Winslet – The Holiday

 Grey Watches // It Has To Be A Shit Show – A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding

 Grey Watches // I Hate It So Much I Love It – A Christmas Prince

Use Your Words Highlights

 2019 Ahead // It’s Twentybiteen, You Ready?

 January in Review // I Cried, Laughed, Ate Pasta, Celebrated My Birthday & Completed TWO Read-A-Thons/Challenges

 February Ahead // I’m Finally Going To Read The Raven Cycle Series & It’s Black History Month + A Great Resource for Education!!!!!

 Grey Reads // Everything’s On Fire and I Couldn’t Be Happier – Girls of Paper and Fire

 Tag // The Library Lover’s Book Tag – I Am a Library Fiend

     Blogosphere Highlights

│Krystin @ Here’s The Fucking Twist│Opinion: Withdrawing My Support of ‘Woman in the Window’ & AJ Finn Is Creepy AF.│True Crime Tuesday: The San Francisco Witch Killers│

│Lauren @ Northern Plunder│Announcing Blogs & Tea | Online blogger help group│

│Rain @ BOOKDRAGONISM│HOW TO CONQUER YOUR TBR PILE IN SIX (OR SEVEN) WAYS│

│Destiny @ Howling Libraries│BEST OF 2018: HORROR│

│Jamieson @ Jamishelves│some of my favourite tropes in books│BOOK TAG (ORIGINAL): Books I WANT to read, but don’t want to READ│

│Vicky @ Vicky Who Reads│Heroine by Mindy McGinnis: A Harrowing Tale About Addiction│Ace Reading Recommendations from An Arm and A Meg! │The Ultimate YA Romance Reading Recommendation List: 80+ Romances to Fall In Love With This Valentine’s Day!│

│May @ Forever And Everly│Discussing Blogger Appreciation and the Lack of It: Analyzing Answers, Stats, and Graphs From a Survey I Made!│

│Ellyn @ Allonsythornraxxbooks│HOW TO: OUTLINE A BLOG POST│MY 10 STEP GUIDE TO GROWING YOUR BLOG│

│Marie @ Drizzle & Hurricane Books│HOW TO STAY POSITIVE WHILE BOOK BLOGGING│

│Marija @ Inside My Library Mind│The 5 Star Rating System: Why It Does (Not) Work and How I Rate Books│

│Kelly @ Just Another Book in the Wall│MY CONVERSION TO AUDIOBOOKPHILIA // FIRST LISTENING EXPERIENCE AND SURPRISES│THE VALUE OF TEEN VOICES IN THE BOOK BLOGGING COMMUNITY + PROJECT ANNOUNCEMENT!│

│Shealea @ Shut up, Shealea│21 SAPPHIC ROMANCES THAT’LL MAKE YOUR HEART SOFT ON VALENTINE’S DAY│

│Swetlana @ The Caffeinated Bookworm Life│My Goodreads TBR Has 12 Books On It – Here’s Why│6 Reasons Why YOU Should Watch One Day At A Time│

│CW @ The Quiet Pond│Collab: Balancing Book Blogging and Life│

│Madeline @ Caffeine & Writing Dreams│How to Cut Adverbs for Stronger Writing // & When It’s Okay to Use Them│

│Kat @ Novels and Waffles│Stand Out Above The Crowd // 4 Ways To Make Your Free WordPress.com Theme Look Different From Everybody Else’s│My Branding Journey + Four Questions To Ask Yourself While Rebranding // ft. A Free Downloadable Checklist│How in the World I Make My Graphics // A Step-By-Step Tutorial│I Font It That Way // How to Choose the Right Font for Your Blog│By Any Other Name // 5 Steps That Will Help You Choose An Awesome Blog Name (ft. A Free Worksheet!)│This is The End // Q & A Session + A Secret Reveal│

Past Month In Review

 Month in Review // November – I Already Hate Christmas

 Month in Review // Christmas is Over Thank Fuck – December

 January in Review // I Cried, Laughed, Ate Pasta, Celebrated My Birthday & Completed TWO Read-A-Thons/Challenges

Month’s Goals

 Start floor exercises

 Start regularly going for 40-minute walks

 Read 5-7 books

 Get my mental health plan

 Book a therapy session

 Service my car

 Get a massage from mum

 Try and take a mental health day

 Have my name change official!!!!!!

I know I did terribly but I kind of took a mental health weekend. I mean I worked both days but I just relaxed and didn’t go for my walks because I have a bad blister and I think my body just needed the break.

I Left the House

I had to get my car serviced on 7/2 and seeing as I can’t really rely on anyone to help me out and mum was working I had to drop off my car and then find a way to kill time without a car for several hours. So I decided to use my free birthday movie ticket and caught a train to the nearest cinema for that chain.

Two main positives from the whole adventure:

I took public transport for the first time in years and didn’t have an anxiety attack.

The Favourite was amazing.

And then I got my car back from the service and they told me everything that was wrong with it and how much it was going to cost and so that was no great and there were some tears and a panic attack but I don’t know. Hopefully I can work it out.

I was only 80 steps away from hitting 14000 steps on 12/2 so I’m very proud of that!

I Socialised

On 14/2 my aunt came to stay with use for a few days while my cousin was busy having her baby only 5 minutes away from us. In hospital. I feel like I need to clarify that… It’s my cousin’s second baby, he didn’t come until 16/2 I’m pretty sure, and he’s pretty cute I have to admit and hes very calming to be around like my nephew who’s birthday is only a couple of days before.

Speaking of my nephew. It was his birthday 14/2 see we visited him and hes walking around and his whole personality is changing now that he can run around and he’s just so cute I die a little every time I see him. I can’t believe he’s 1 already!

While my aunt was down she made mum and I dinner and cheesecake (15/2)!!!! The dinner was surf and turf which I’ve never had before and it was delicious! and the cheesecake she made from scratch, only going off what flavours I wanted, WITHOUT A RECIPE. My mum nearly died when she was told that. It was so good and I desperately want more… So basically now I have to try and visit her once a month just so I can have cheesecake.

I Did Things

I made myself some protein oat cups (19/2) from scratch WITHOUT a recipe and they’re actually really good considering I had no idea what the fuck I was doing???? It was also the day I officially got my new birth certificate and my name change was complete!!!!!! now I just have to do all the hard part which is changing everything. 

On 22/2 I cried and literally have no idea why. Like there wasn’t anything that triggered it…I just cried. I really need to book a therapy session…

On 25/2 I decided I needed to play the sims and then wasted basically a whole day because some of my mods/ccs were broken and so I was having to figure out which ones it was to get rid of them.

26/2 I actually got to play the sims and I just really needed it??? I also changed my licence over to my new name!!!

On the 27/2 I decided to open a new bank account with a different bank because I haven’t been that happy with my current one for a while. But i didn’t have enough points of ID yet so I can’t access the account…and I didn’t discover that until after I already gave the details to my work so thats where I was paid so that was NOT. GREAT. Thank god my mum could help me out with money until I paid again (hopefully in my old account until I get my new licence in the mail otherwise I’m??? Kinda?? Fucked???

So basically the 28/2 was me crying and fighting anxiety attack while on the phone trying to find SOME way to access my own money… It did not work… I hopefully it is all worked out next week but also I’m not holding my breath.

Past Month Ahead

 Month Ahead // December – I Already Hate It

 Month Ahead // Happy Birthday To Me + Hiatus Announcement – January

 February Ahead // I’m Finally Going To Read The Raven Cycle Series & It’s Black History Month + A Great Resource for Education!!!!!

Outro

What did you do this month? What did you read? What did you watch? What posts did you write that you’re super proud of?

│Blog│Goodreads│Instagram│Twitter│Tumblr│

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