#and yes i headcanon that certain emotions accidentally makes him shift into different people

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

Camilo would definitely go all out for dulce on Valentine's day

You are absolutely right, and because I know a lot of you guys like Camilo, lets have some of the heartthrob in the house tonight ;)

(Aka Camilo is just really good at spreading love ❤️)

He got up early that morning. Real early. To the point where he went to bed earlier the night before, to make up for the lack of sleep (at least six hours, he was terrified of getting bags under his eyes, especially today of all days). He did all of his chores, the dishes that needed to be done, floor that needed to be swept, before making coffee cake. That's right, HE was making coffee cake. Why? Because he wanted to show his awesome girlfriend that he was paying attention to her baking lessons, and totally not in it for stealing snacks and kisses.

"Woah. You're up early."

Camilo glanced to his dad, who seemed surprised that he was up before even Mirabel. He nodded as he passed him his cup, pouring him a cup of coffee, much to his surprise.

"Yep, I want today to go PERFECT. So it's why I swept, mopped, did the dishes, and I'm making breakfast, which should be done...now."

His dad gawked at him as he brought out all three trays of coffee cake. Two were large, and one was small, just for her and her alone.

"You've been baking and cleaning? Who are you and what have you done with my son?"

"Your son is currently trying to make today THE day for his girlfriend. I mean, this is the first time where I'm excited FOR this holiday!"

Félix chuckled as he gave his son a little noogie.

"Ah, you disciplined yourself for a WOMAN! I see! Castillo's are like that, wild and untamed, until they find JUST that perfect woman to tie them down and make their asses listen. Ay, I'm proud of you, mijo, c'mere, hug."

Camilo shivered as his dad pulled him into a side hug.

"Dad, I love you, but can we not do this when you aren't wearing a shirt?"

"Hey, I used to rub my dad's feet, be happy I don't make you do that."

He let go of Camilo, thankfully, just in time for him to see his mother coming down the stairs. The second their eyes met, rainbows infested the sky above them in an absolute frenzy.

"Mami! Good morning! I made coffee and breakfast!"

"Aw, mi little hombre! How sweet!"

She gave him his usual million and one kisses, before looking over at the breakfast, clearly surprised.

"Ay, look at all of this! It smells so nice too, I thought Julieta was baking!"

Camilo held the small tray smugly, honestly digging the praise.

"I did pretty good, thanks to Dulce. And don't worry, you got chocolate cookies chilling in the fridge- and you found them already."

Both him and his dad chuckled at Pepa already helping herself. His mom was an absolute chocolate fiend.

"Let me pour you some coffee for that, Pepi. So, what's on the agenda for you, loverboy?"

"First, stopping by her place to deliver her this absolutely perfect breakfast to show her I listen to her interest. I've been saving up my babysitting money so she can go out shopping during her break this afternoon, and when she's done for the day, imma swoop in to take her to a surprise picnic date, just in time for sunset."

Camilo had to cover the hot treat in his hands with his ruana, since his mom suddenly started to cry, causing it to pour over them.

"My baby is so SWEET to his little girlfriend! No puedo!"

Félix put his cup on the counter (as it was just water now) as he held his wife, lightly patting her back.

"Sounds like you have everything covered. Go do your thing, let us know if you need anything."

"Thanks, bye!"

He gave his mom a quick smooch before walking out of the Casita, before he walked into town, waving people hi, passing out random valentine's cards (he handed them out because he loved spreading love, but he kept them fairly generic for the most part), before stopping at her bakery. He opened the door with his shoulder, and walked up to the counter, ringing the bell. And there she was, the reason why his heart pumped, the person that made his heart flood with miraposas. She smiled as soon as she saw him, wiping powdered sugar off of her apron.

"Little early for you to steal some goodies, I'm JUST putting everything in the display case."

"I'm actually here to give YOU a little something, Mi pequeño conejito~"

He put the tray on the counter, and he watched as her face softened for him upon seeing it.

"You? Made this, for me?"

"Uh huh. I used your recipe and everything. I want my girlfriend to know I pay attention to her. Very close attention ~"

He let his elbows rest on the counter, in order to lean into her, till their foreheads pressed together. She had such pretty, mischievous eyes.

"I thought you hated Valentines day."

"Not when it means I get to make it about you."

She leaned in for a kiss, and he accepted it. Then the next one. Then the next one. And the few after that. Honestly, she had to push him away by his nose to get him to stop, and her cheeks were just on FIRE.

"Quit it, I'm supposed to be at work!"

"What, your mom in the back?"

"Oh no, she isn't feeling well today. By which I mean she spends Valentine's day in bed because she can't stand it."

"Sooo the flowers I got her would be a no go?"

She played with one of his many curls, and if he was a cat, he'd be purring over it.

"I wouldn't try it. Just give it to some other poor soul you conned into liking you."

"Could give it to Cecilia."

She looked so cute when she smiled like that.

"The kid you babysit? She's gonna go nuts, she has a huge crush on you."

"Tell me about it, she's already doodling our wedding plans. Dunno where I'm gonna get 'a dozen flute playing unicorns', but it's her day."

He tried not to pout when Dulce pushed herself back a bit, even if it was because she had to give someone their cake order.

"Well regardless, be nice to her, first crushes are hard."

"Hey I'm nice! Would a mean boyfriend give you this?"

He pulled an envelope out of his many pockets, before giving it to her. She looked into it, and gave him that classic 'you shouldn't have' look. You know the one. Where she cocks her head to the side a bit, where she tries not to smile, and she has to lean against something because she's so touched but just doesn't wanna admit it. That look. The look that just killed him.

"You shouldn't have. Really, this is too much."

"No no, seriously. Take it. When you go on your break, get some shopping done. Buy whatever that pretty heart wants. And when you close the place up tonight, imma have a big surprise for you!"

He started to walk a bit towards the door as people started to come in, most likely to get their baked goods to woo their own partners. She gave him a bit of a wave, and with that, he was out of there. He sighed, before pulling out the bouquet of flowers, and heading right to Cecilia's house. He knocked on the door, and was immediately greeted by her father, who was always pleased to see him.

"Camilo! Can I help you?"

"Yeah, I got a little something special for Cecilia. She home?"

"Course- mija! Camilo is here for you!"

Cecilia looked up from her spot on the couch, and immediately gasped, before running up to him, jumping on the balls of her feet.

"Cami! Are those for me?!"

"Yeah! I mean it is Valentine's day, thought I'd spread some love. Here!"

He put the flowers in her hands, and watched her squeal excitedly, before running into the kitchen to show her mom. Camilo chuckled, waving off her father before leaving. Valentine's day wasn't so bad, all thing's considered. He made his way back to the Casita, and headed right for the backyard. Abuela, Isabela, Dolores, and Mirabel were standing there, just like they agreed.

"Okay, glad you're all here, I need this place to look just PERFECT."

Each one of them had a reason for wanting to help. Dolores, because she was his big sister, Mirabel because she loved helping, Abuela wanted any chance to pair up her grandkids with someone, and well. He bribed Isa a few pesos to be here honestly. Isa cleared her throat.

"Language."

"What? Oh right right. Needs to look 'bussin'. Better?"

"Much. Now, we doing classic valentine's day?"

Dolores shook her head, a slight scowl on her face.

"It's what I'D like, so absolutely not. I like the exact opposite style as Dulce."

"EXACTLY-see, sis gets it. The vibe I want is 'valentine's day, but realistic'."

"I immediately know what you mean."

Abuela looked confused as Isa and Dolores went off one way, leaving her with Mirabel.

"I do not understand?"

"I'll show you Abuela, come on!"

Camilo was about to help them, when Agustín poked his head into the situation.

"Camilo? Osvaldo is outside for you."

Camilo rolled his eyes as he met him in the front. Osvaldo has a cart LOADED with stuff, and Camilo groaned. Right. Gifts from admirers that he just didn't give two shits about. Osvaldo grinned as he got off his donkey.

"Swear your gifts keep getting bigger and bigger kid! Where should I put all of this?"

He was about to tell Osvaldo to burn that shit for all he cared, when he noticed Luisa in the distance, doing her usual chores. He kept his voice low, in case she could hear him somehow.

"Listen, this stuff isn't labeled, right?"

"No, that'd be way too much work, honestly."

"Good-give it to Luisa, tell her it's all for her. Really play it up. Oh minus these pretzels, I will be taking THAT."

Camilo swiped the bag before motioning for him to go on. Camilo hid in the doorway, watching Luisa's face just LIGHT UP upon receiving her truckload of gifts. Sure, people admired her plenty, but Isa and Camilo were kinda the one's people really tended to fall for. But since only one person mattered to him, it didn't make sense to hog it all for himself. Call him cupid, I guess. He headed for the kitchen to check on Julieta, who offered to help him pack their picnic.

"Camilo, there you are- could you help me? I'm trying to read the recipe you gave me, but I can't read it."

Camilo looked at the paper he had given her. He loved Dulce, but her 'ideal picnic food' list was absolute chicken scratch. Sure, she could decorate a cake, but god forbid she writes something you can actually read. He scratched his head in thought, when he just shred the paper entirely.

"Screw it, we're winging this. I'll help."

Camilo went to the sink to wash his hands really quick, and making sure his hair was tied up, immediately looked into the fridge.

"We'll keep it simple, two, three things at the most. We got onions, we can do french onion flat bread, maybe? I think we got time to make that-"

He paused the second he felt her hand on his shoulder. She had such a soft, caring look on her face, as if this was for her.

"You like her, don't you?"

He chuckled as he patted her hand gently, nodding.

"I do. She's...great. She makes me happy every time I see her, and I think about her a lot. She flusters ME, and I'm not used to it. I like it. I want her to know she's more than just a girl, you know? Er, why are you crying?"

Julieta sniffed as she whiped a tear from her cheek with the back of her free hand.

"You just. Remind me of when Pepa told me she loved Félix. You had the exact same face as she did, and it brought back so many memories. You are your mother's son, through and through. Ay, you kids grow up so fast, it's not fair."

She had to take a second to breathe, and after taking a second to fan her face, she nodded, letting him know she was okay. Julieta was far more composed than his mother, and she was never upset for very long. Camilo chuckled, nudging her with his shoulder.

"Hey, we're supposed to be happy, tìa! None of that mushy stuff on me! Come on, let's get cooking!"

And cooked they did. French onion flatbread, carrot cake, and even sandwiches with blueberry jam and grilled chicken (seriously, underrated food combo, his girlfriend was a genius for coming up with it). The whole time they cooked, he danced with his tìa, laughed with her, and just. Enjoyed himself. He helped her clean up, and brought the fully loaded basket to the backyard, whistling loudly at the decorations. Strung up lights against the giant jacaranda tree, a big, red table cloth for the table, and flowers. So many flowers decorated the place, all of them white, brown, deep red, none of them quite like the other.

"Woah. You guys out did yourselves here."

Abuela dusted her hands, looking over at the work they had all just finished doing with a sense of uncertainty, and pride.

"The youth today have such odd tastes. Not traditional at all. But as long as she likes it."

"I do."

He turned to look at the voice, and there she was. A black and white summer dress, and her white dreads finally down for once, giving her a relaxed appearance. He suddenly felt pretty under dressed, what with how good she looked.

"Dulce! I was about to go get you!"

"You've been running around all day, figured I'd save you the effort. Especially since you did all of this for me. I knew you were gonna do too much."

He felt a bit bashful, rubbing the back of his head as he slumped a bit.

"Is it uh. That obvious?"

"Definitely. But it's sweet."

Abuela grinned at Camilo, before carefully ushering the girls out of the scene.

"Come come, give them some privacy!"

Dulce chuckled, her smile only growing more when Isa made an explosion of sunflowers pop over her head. So many flowers, she had to push it a bit out of her face to see him.

"Your whole Family is too much. Surprised there aren't foreworks."

"No, but we got fireflies!"

They both glanced at Antonio as he flooded the area with fireflies. Camilo and Dulce gave him a thumbs up, because that was cute and sweet of his little brother, before Abuela ushered him back inside. His family put so much into this, it was time for him to put in his own work. He gestured towards the table dramatically, clearly amusing her, given how she was trying not to laugh.

"I do believe the lady has a seat waiting for her?"

"Well, aren't we a gentleman tonight?"

She gave a mock curtsy, before helping herself to the table. He sat down next to her, putting the basket down and starting to empty it. He got distracted halfway through though, looking at her. She was just. Something else.

"You...look really great. Beautiful, honestly."

"Well thank you. Not everyone gets to shapeshift and get looks like this in two seconds."

"I don't even think shapeshifting into you could do it justice."

He did just that, looking down at himself. He wasn't a pervert, but honestly, not bad boobs here. She snorted, giving him a good shove on his shoulder.

"Stop doing that! You know I think it's freaky!"

"Oh I'm sorry, would THIS suit your fancy?"

He turned into Mariano, keeping his chest puffed out like the douche the guy was. She gave him a look, strumming her fingers up his chest, before poking his nose.

"Nah. I like Camilo a lot more. He's cute."

He turned back into himself as he served her a plate of all the stuff him and his tía made.

"I'm glad, because as much as I dislike the guy, he's not bad to look at. And I know it'd be easy to just be like 'hey why don't I date the handsome guy too?'. And I know it'd probably make you smile, but-"

He was cut off when she leaned into him, putting her head right under his chin. She was SO warm and soft, and she smelled like cinnamon and spice and everything nice.

"You make me smile, just by being you. You and your weird ass family are great, but you try so hard. I don't NEED all of this fanfare to like you. But I think it's nice of you, trying to make me feel special to you. So gracias, mi hermoso camaleon~"

She craned her head up just a bit, and kissed at his neck. Something about that spot, or something about soft her lips were, just took him so much by surprise, he accidentally turned into his mom.

"Oops."

She pulled away from him, and started to snicker.

"W-wait, you turn into your mom when you get shy? Oh my god! That's so cute!"

Camilo turned back, and he knew his cheeks were red as hell, but that he could NOT fix.

"I do not! I just. Accidentally turn into people sometimes! You can't prove anything!"

They were blinding by a flash of light for a brief moment, turning to see the culprit. Pepa, with the camera. She was giving her boy a double thumbs up, before being ushered back inside by Félix.

"Well NOW I can. I'm getting a copy of that picture."

"Dios ayúdame..."

[silvysartfulness]

Writer meta asks: 3, 19, 20

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway) 

I already answered this one in another post - there’s no special such scene; if I want to write just a standalone scene I’ll do it as a one-shot and imply context and set-up in-writing. But there are scenes I look forward to writing; for the Roadtrip, a lot will go down and shift perspectives all around in the arc I mentally call the Mountains of Mist arc. That’s definitely a bit I have high hopes for!

... Technically the scene I’m supposed to be writing right now has also long been one of the “oh yeah, I’m really looking forward to this one!” bits, except now that I’m actually about to write it, I’m finding myself a bit frozen. Hopefully I’ll be able to push through this block and make it as good as I previously envisioned it...

Oh, no wait! To be honest - there are a few scenes I haven’t managed to find a good place for in the Roadtrip timeline yet, but have been very entertained by in headcanons, and that’s a fair number of WWX and XY interaction scenes!

I don’t know if I’ll manage to work things out enough in the story to make any of that fit, but I have a vivid image of WWX and XY literally bumping into each other at the market street of a random town while departing a liquor stall and candy stall respectively. XY is delighted by the chance meeting and toothily compliments WWX’s reflexes in catching the falling bottles, WWX is mostly “wtf how are you still not dead??” about things. If I can get the timeline to allow for it, it’s a scene I’d still love to write, but we’ll see.

19. Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?) 

Ahaha. I suspect if you do a word count in my writing, you’ll see the word “pain” repeated at somewhat alarming frequency?

I like to describe body language, especially what people are doing with their hands. And eyes, I pay a lot of attention to eyes.

As for tropes, just stamp me with the “redemption arc” stamp and move on. I love, more than anything, characters who have to face their mistakes and go through a painstaking journey of sorting messes out, setting things right. Sometimes willfully, out of a genuine desire to make things better. Sometimes reluctantly or even trying not to, only sullenly agreeing in the end for one well-founded reason or another.

I love to write messy characters, greyscales, heart wrenching situations where both sides are equally wrong and right. Am also absolute sucker for “hard, cold-hearted character, absolutely coming apart at gestures of care and kindness”. That gets me every single time.

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

Uh-oh. You've done it now. I'll place the rest under a cut, because I can and will talk about this at length.

I already wrote in a previous post about the layers of meaning in my chapter titles, so I'll leave that aside for now.

I love using symbolism and allegories in my writing. There are some obvious ones at first glance – I often refer to Xiao Xingchen as the moon himself, especially from Xue Yang’s point of view (the moon has been one of the few proxies for Xiao Xingchen he’s had for a long time) His inner light, something with beauty and integrity but also phases of both light and dark and the ability to shift inbetweeen, unreadable. The same way I will often use ice and frost to describe Song Lan - ”he realized with frostbite clarity” is a sentence I remember that I liked writing for him.

Xue Yang isn't as clear cut; his themes shifts depending on the pov character – Song Lan thinks of him as serpent-like, and there's a wolf-theme coming up as well. But my main subtle motif for Xue Yang in this story is the tiger. Drawn partly from the obvious angle of him being able to create a Yin Tiger Amulet of his own, as well as wearing clothing with a leopard-spot like pattern in Yi City, and finally Wei Wuxian's comment of ”releasing the tiger back to the mountain” when learning Xue Yang escaped punishment for the Chang massacre. In Chinese animal symbolism, the tiger is the king of beasts, something very powerful and clever, but also unreliable, prone to lash out.

In one of the first chapters, Xue Yang is described as being ”bound with enough ropes and knots to subdue a tiger” and there are many references to the Yin Tiger Amulet throughout. I drew him and Song Lan as shishi statues in the illustration for chapter 7, feline guardians of the dead that can be interpreted as lions but also tigers. So that's a semi-secret theme. :)

Another layer of symbolism is the Daoist philosophy sprinkled throughout. Sometimes directly, through outright quotes, but often more subtly in how Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan relate to the world and other people.

”Take action by letting things take their course, he reminded himself. The more he hurried, the longer it would take to get where he was going. He could be patient. Would be.”

”He smiled again, grateful for the understanding, for the simplicity, patience, compassion.”

“An empty patch on the ground,” he signed. “We'll make the future a spot where nothing is yet growing.” “An empty spot, where the Universe may plant a seed,” he finished. Song Lan nodded, made the softest hum of agreement.

“Now, now - haven't you heard, Song-daozhang?” he giggled, unsteadily, hauled along in unceremonious jerks. “Treat those who are kind with kindness, but also treat those who are not kind with kindness, only thus is kindness obtaine-... ow.” ← Xue Yang is not above throwing their teachings in their faces for his own benefit, either.

Another thing I enjoy writing is how Xiao Xingchen will very easily fall into familiarity with both Song Lan and Xue Yang when he interacts with them, but they're two very different kinds of familiarity, and he's often not at all aware himself that he's doing it. (They are. Especially the party not currently being interacted with, glaring daggers at the other.) He often just... assumes they'll do a certain thing, and they'll automatically find themselves doing it.

They are both utterly dedicated to him, though they may not realize it themselves, and he certainly doesn't. He doesn't want to take anything for granted with Song Lan, and he doesn't dare trust Xue Yang, but in the little moments of thoughtlessness, they'll just accidentally fall into old familiar roles of attachment, and then blink awake, surprised and disturbed at the ease of it. ♥

I also find it delightful how Xue Yang absolutely despises Song Lan, but is still ready and willing to rope him into herding Xiao Xingchen when necessary - and Song Lan will grudgingly follow his lead, to a point. They may not like it, but they do have a goal in common in keeping their person safe.

There is a certain point to the fact that Xue Yang mostly only mentally refers to a-Qing as ”the girl” in his mind. Nothing quite as strong as actual remorse, but it's a slightly chafing subject he does avoid thinking about. She wasn't supposed to die - hurt, yes, be punished for her perceived part in the destruction of their happy home, but not die - and now that Xiao Xingchen is back, it is odd, at times, that she isn't there as well.

Finally - have some teasers for future written chapters! The apples of the merchant in Tanzhou will make a reappearance, as will the beggar girl by the gate. Xue Yang will write Song Lan a heartfelt poem in an upcoming chapter. Song Lan is made to promise to write a couple of old ladies letters. Xiao Xingchen performs emotional manipulation so badly it offers the other two an unexpected moment of bonding. Xue Yang slips and does an unprompted Good Deed and instantly regrets it. (it does help when Xiao Xingchen smiles at him.)

There are more themes of foreshadowing in there, but I also don't want to spoil things, so I'l leave it at this for now.

As always, if anyone has any specific questions about the Roadtrip, please feel free to ask! I may evade if it's spoilery, but 99.9% of the time, I'll happily flail for hours about this story – and it helps keeping me inspired and writing, too! ♥♥♥

[notbigondoors]

Hi Vis! I've been reading Frankenstein to prepare my essay about it and I find some similarities between you and the creature. You're both artificial beings, yet innocent and pure of heart when you're "newborns". You are some sort of modern Frankenstein creation. Have you read the novel? I think it could comfort you when you feel like humans reject you- they're just ignorant and prejudiced. (Hope this serves the mun for inspiration or starters- I absolutely headcanon that Vis loves this novel!)

“I have read Mary Shelley’s novel, yes. It was recommended to me by Miss Romanoff and it has quickly become one of my favorites. I cannot say that it was overly entertaining or enjoyable in the sense that I found parts of it to be incredibly sad and unfortunate, but it was a very well-constructed piece in that it displays both Frankenstein and his creation in all their flawed glory as two imperfect beings, and yet the one that is dubbed a monster is actually the least selfish and the least scientifically and psychologically reckless of the two.

“This irony was not lost on me, nor were the similarities between the Creature and I. One person’s creature is a another’s vision. Some might say I am a creature. Some might say that the Creature was Frankenstein’s vision. I do empathize with his struggles, both physical and mental, with his loneliness and frustration, and with the disconnect between the way he relates to human beings and the way they perceive him. His view of himself is far different than how others see him, and because of that he feels not only alone and unwanted and unloved, but invalidated as well.

“I feel... fortunate... in a way... to not have some of his flaws and unfortunate circumstances which made attempts at integration into human society all the more difficult for him. For example, his very body is constructed from the dead, which I feel carries with it an instant taboo or revulsion for most humans before they even get to know him, and that is through absolutely no fault of his own. I, on the other hand, have the benefit of being constructed from new and advanced materials that are either respected by the scientific and medical communities or carry with them a pleasant mystique among humans not in scientific or medical fields.

“Also, whether biological, psychological, or merely a question of a lack of impulse control as physio-chemically dictated in his brain, the Creature suffers from a volatile temper and tendency towards violence. I feel it may not entirely be his fault, especially at first, since it does seem to be an impulse he has legitimate trouble controlling. His physical body is also mismatched and strange to him, and for example his handling of the child he accidentally kills seems to be an honest and tragic mistake on his part. The screaming upset him, he meant only to silence the child and did not know his own strength. However, at what point does the blame shift from the Creature to society and back again? Should he be blamed because he committed this and subsequent acts of violence, or should society be blamed for pushing him towards those ends, and for coddling and accepting an irresponsible scientific genius like Frankenstein over his initially innocent and unknowing creation?

“There may be no clear answer, no right one, as the guidelines of morality are often blurry and gray, but one thing became clear to me upon reading the novel. The cycle of perpetuating fear and violence, of stereotyping and ostracizing those who are different, and of making exceptions and allowances for intelligent people and those who perhaps more outwardly or visually conform to perceived societal norms regardless of their stability or intentions... will continue unless it is broken. In other words, we cannot continue to shelter, protect, and sympathize with Frankensteins and persecute Creatures simply for being who and what they are. Intention needs to be examined. Things like ignorance and innocence can be corrected and improved upon with education and experience, but a god complex? Hubris? A disregard for the consequences of one’s actions? Not so much. We must consider merit, circumstance, and responsibility and weight them more heavily against things like outward appearance or what society tells you is safe, comfortable, or right. We must lead, each of us in our own lives, not follow. Only then will humankind break their own societal and psychological cycles that promote discrimination and violence while idealizing "normalcy” and unconstrained bravado.

“Science is never wrong. It is only a tool. However, man’s intended use of the science he discovers can be very wrong. The fault lies with the scientist and not the experiment at the moment conception, literal or figurative, but that experiment going forward has a responsibility to better itself regardless of how it is treated. Rising above, taking the high road, going high when they go low, and other such human phrases are examples of what the Creature had a responsibility to himself to do. Unfortunately, he chose to degrade into violence and revenge. While an active choice of his, it was heavily influenced by how he was treated, and for that I am sorry. Perhaps someone without his temper or impulsiveness might have chosen a different path, or perhaps the same Creature, treated with kindness for a much longer term such as what the blind man showed to him, could have had time to learn restraint and tolerance. I suppose we will never know.

“I do know the feeling of being an imperfect creature created by imperfect scientific geniuses, but I struggle to be certain that each choice I make is fully my own. What I mean is, I hope to avoid the Creature’s pitfalls of letting anger, sadness, and loneliness dictate his actions. I wish to act from an informed perspective, or at the very least, not in haste or due to any temporary or flaring emotions. I cannot control how others perceive me, but I can control how I react to them and how I conduct myself on an everyday basis, and I choose not to lash out. Rather, I am attempting to learn from humans even as I navigate my own life and emotions which are still very new to me.”

Vision paused now, realizing that he had been rambling for quite some time. “Although I will admit that I do appear to have a persistent problem with verbosity,” he said simply, smiling shyly and concluding his speech for the moment.

[mushroom-cartel]

I’ve come up with a list of disjointed headcanons because I’m having an existential crisis over Roxas and Ventus being different people/the same person and KH3′s looming presence is scaring me.

The headcanons are written for an AU based on the initial premise of the “Cranky Old We’ve-seen-some-serious-shit-you-would-never-understand People” trio, but blown way out of proportion.

This post can be considered Part 2 to the one linked above.

Expect some wild dumb thoughts also being thrown in…

KHX, KHUX and Pre-BbS:

The era of small, angsty children going through mid-life crises and not appreciating Disney because Lux collecting is insane.

Strelitzia. Dead.

The Keyblade War.

Mass memory wipe commences.

Amnesia galore and Union X is formed.

Problem with that though is that the new leader all have to bear the burden of retaining everyone’s memories of life before and what happened during the War.

They’re just kids.

Bless them.

Aren’t Ephemer, Skuld, Ventus, Brain and Lauriam Keyblade Masters by default because of this?

I mean, there’s no one around to tell them if they’re still ordinary Keyblade wielders or not, but now that they’re Union leaders, it would make sense for the five of them to perform a mock Mark of Mastery exams in the Keyblade Graveyard.

Just to feel like its all official and the end of the worlds wasn’t upon them or something.

Ventus should be allowed to laugh at Terra and Aqua in BbS.

AKA, the reason why Ventus doesn’t have Starlight in BbS but probably does like every other NPC in KHUX.

Because the Mark of Mastery back in the old days granted you a new Keyblade.

You remember the Masters of Masters having the Gazing Eye in each of his apprentices’ Keyblades?

Apparently, he also forged their Keyblades from their hearts.

Well there you go. 

While five kids doing the same to each other is a chaotic mess, it’s still in the realm of possibility.

Just stick your hand in a heart and viola!

An entirely new Keyblade.

For reference, go look up Gatchaman Crowds’s NOTE.

The Keyblade version of Graceful Dahlia is formed via this method?

All those weird plot points Nomura makes.

Out of the five new leaders, Ventus is undoubtedly the youngest and has the least experience when it comes to leadership. He doesn’t understand why he was chosen in the first place anyways when he can’t even stand for himself.

He has issues.

But he wants to be helpful.

Shift Pride is introduced to Union X and Lauriam starts to go looking for his sister, asking for Elrena’s aid in his endeavours. Every possible lead they follow winds up a dead end and they have to start their searches all over again. In this AU, Lauriam doesn’t confide in the others about his sister’s disappearance because he believes too much in the power of friendship. It’s during this time that Lauriam starts neglecting his duties as a Union leader, and Ventus, being the nice kid he is and all, covers for him and does the workload of two grown-ups. 

This arrangement goes on for quite a while, so much so that Ventus loses it.

He goes ham on Lauriam’s ass because it’s not fair; they all lost important people and things before and during the War, what matters now is what they can do to preserve the memories.

“Why are you so intent on chasing a ghost of the past?”

“She’s my sister, you wouldn’t understand!”

Laurium and Ventus get into a fight, which ended up with Laurium losing his heart and Elrena following him shortly after because she stepped in the way of his Keyblade to stop him from doing the same to Ventus.

Guys, Elrena just wants everybody to be happy.

She used to be sunshine and rainbows.

AKA, the story of how child soldiers became Nobodies.

AKA, a method of leaving the Realm of Sleep, or in this case, the dream within a dream, the alternate reality which Union X formed.

In his guilt, Ventus exiled himself from Daybreak Town.

Like, he just up and left the second layer and went back to the dream world where the Keyblade War took place.

And then he destroyed his Chirithy, basically an intimate part of his soul since he started sleeping. Soon he jumped off a cliff and BAM.

AKA, a method of leaving this particular part of the Realm of Sleep, which was fabricated by the Masters of Masters.

Ventus enters Reality, where times are different and years have passed.

Surprise, surprise, though, the first layer of dreams was very real (despite everything they’ve been told) and lots of children died.

The people of Daybreak Town were the SURVIVORS of the War, the Foretellers were more senior Keyblade wielders, and MoM being the guy to put them all to sleep.

So the War in KHX was technically the second of its kind.

The War (the player has flashbacks of) in KHUX is the first.

Memory alteration magic for the win here.

HE’S IN THE FUTURE.

PANIC.

Confusion.

He’s alone for a period of time, in which he starts to adopt a backhanded grip in the hopes of utilising Wayward Wind’s blunt edge because he’s scared of doing the same to anyone else like he did to Lauriam.

Stabbing and hitting becomes guarding and slashing.

And then Xehanort showed up

To screw things up.

Heart-splitting action occurred some time later.

As did Vanitas. 

Sora’s healing time also happens and Ventus forgets about Daybreak Town for like a second.

Actually, more than a decade.

Daybreak what now?

“TERRA! AQUA!”

Post-KH(ish) and Early-358/2:

Roxas doesn’t remember his first six days because he was having flashbacks of the War through his connection with Sora and Ventus.

Xemnas is scared that he’s remembering Sora.

Marluxia nearly cried foul when the boy was inducted.

Larxene wanted nothing to do with him.

Why?

Since the two lost their hearts in a fake realm of sleep, their memories are a bit scrambled. So what they remember of their Sombodies is in correlation to strong emotions.

You know.

Like that time they died.

OR THE KEYBLADE WAR.

Still, Marluxia needs power and Roxas seems familiar.

And Larxene?

She just wants to have a good time.

See what makes him tick, what makes him different, what makes him Roxas and not Ventus.

She’s bitter and jaded. A few years of being nothing can do that to some people.

Don’t expect her to pat Roxas on the head mockingly.

Okay, she does but that was only a one time thing.

It’s accidental, but she ends up forming some sort of amicable acquaintanceship with the boy.

She hasn’t had proper friends since…

.… Since what?

Ah, it doesn’t matter.

On the other hand, Roxas is weirded out by the fact that Marluxia and Larxene seem so familiar despite not having any memories of his Somebody’s life.

When he looks at them, he feels nothing but regret and the urge to profusely apologise for something he doesn’t know about.

He’s paranoid, guys.

Wait, what?

Day 11.

“You’re going on a reconnaissance mission with Number XII.”

“But, Saïx, she’s going to kill me!”

“Not a concern of mine unless it hinders your ability to collect hearts.”

AKA, the beginnings of a proper adventure with “Accidental Murder” and “Friends Should Not Fight (Even If I Die)”.

Note to self: Marluxia’s crack code name is “Death by Sister Complex”.

It’s a grand adventure.

One that includes flying saucers, a grand amount of explosions and lighting raining down from the sky and roasted acorns.

Just like old times, in Larxene’s mind.

Seriously, what were the Foretellers thinking when they sent children to go collect Lux?

Oh, just casually go defeat huge Heartless, no biggie.

What was that about a war?

Roxas learns survival skills like a madman.

A friendship is formed?

Day 22 and sea-salt ice cream like normal before RTC.

Pre-CoM(ish) and During:

Roxas is still being paranoid, even with less people occupying the Castle That Never Was.

At least Larxene and Marluxia isn’t around to give him the heebie-jeebies.

He thinks.

Paranoid to the point that he doesn’t even interact with Xion as much as he did in canon and Xion doesn’t get a face (from him or Axel) because he’s scared that someone might try to use him as scapegoat.

Plans go awry because initiating social interaction isn’t in her programming. Xemnas almost throws himself off his throne.

Meanwhile, Marluxia’s just doing his own things in Castle Oblivion and unintentionally makes Naminé give Sora memories of Strelitzia.

Also, thanks to his tenure as Union leader, he does in fact have power over memories to a certain degree, how else would the War be wiped out from the Dandelions’ minds?

He teaches Naminé things.

But memories of Strelitzia only means one thing. Lauriam.

And Lauriam’s… nice. Very different to Marluxia in some ways.

“Who the hell is this?”

“Lauriam.”

“YOU.”

“Who?”

“Strelitzia?”

“WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT?”

Confrontations within Castle Oblivion are disorderly.

In this AU, the goal is not to cause a coup, but rather, it’s to make others (coughxemnascough) think twice about forming Kingdom Hearts. 

Stop trying.

It’s not gonna work, old man.

Not knowing that he’s in the process of leading a group to stop another war from breaking out is Marluxia’s mood.

Larxene low-key just wants to burn Castle Oblivion to the ground because she can feel Ventus’s ghostly presence withing in the walls, even after how many years its been since she lost her heart and forgot some things. A few millenniums? She knows it’s familiar but she can’t put her finger on the feeling. Maybe it’s just her excitement acting up, high voltage running through her body making her think there’s something not quite there here.

If they did actually succeed in finding the Chamber of Waking, Larxene’s reaction to Ventus’s body living without a heart would be, “Oh, great! I was right, there’s a damn ghost in this place!!” 

A lighting show inside a half-dead world is great.

Larxene finds it ironic that she’s dying to a Keyblade for the second time and just laughs, instead having a “I’m fading” moment like all the other Nobodies.

Sora is confused.

Larxene. Gone.

“It was great while it lasted.”

Yes, Ventus is asleep here still, but he’s currently wrangling with Roxas’s acute trauma in sleep land.

Roxas’s coma is key.

Because he remembers being Sora AND Ventus and he’s so confused because he:

a). Saved a whole bunch of kids like himself from serve trauma.

b). Saved a whole bunch of worlds from being taken over by the darkness.

c). He’s lost himself at least twice in wherever he is.

He’s walking through a version of Daybreak Town before everything in KHX and KHUX. 

“When the worlds were bathed in light” sort of Daybreak Town.

Half-awake and half-asleep.

The real incarnation, present day where the legacies of Ephemer, Skuld and Brain are lived and breathed by Daybreak Town.

Also, Ephemer, Skuld and Brain is another friendship trio that forms in this AU. 

This is important.

They lost Lauriam and Ventus in one fell swoop and what do you do when you lose your friends?

You became stronger by strengthening the bond that remain and forge new ones.

In Union X’s case, they soon abolished the old Union system and formed a meager with what was left.

Competing amongst themselves to collect the most Lux becomes a thing of the past.

The people who didn’t agree with this change were free to leave Daybreak Town (the dream within the dream) and establish connections with the outside and Reality, moving from the Realm of Sleep and into the Realm of Light or Darknes, but they still regarded Daybreak Town as home, so now and then they’d send themselves to sleep.

AKA, how Luxu got to the outside world by blending in. 

AKA, the ability to put something in the universe to sleep forever is exclusive to the old people for once.

Those that remained slowly regained their memories, and despite all the aftereffects of the War(s) on the population of Keyblade wielders, these people and the ones who left still interacted with one another.

Which basically means, if the leavers found any potential across the worlds, they’d send those who could possibly wield a Keyblade into a deep sleep to be trained in Daybreak Town; while they might age mentally, they’ll stay physically the same.

AKA, a better option for immortality. 

Luxu’s around for a bit.

He passes on No Name at some point after this.

Their comatose bodies are sent to Scala Ad Caelum for safekeeping, where they are to remain for all eternity unless they chose to leave Daybreak Town themselves.

And because of this, Scala Ad Caelum is abundant with darkness and light, ensuring that it stays between the two Realms.

I guess Scala Ad Caelum is a world formed from the hearts of the participants of the Keyblade War.

Their hearts didn’t become part of Kingdom Hearts?

Scala Ad Caelum is the original base of most, if not all, Keyblade-related activities.

Scala Ad Caelum is home to many; light and darkness guide those whose dwell on this world.

Daybreak Town 2.0?

Somewhere in the realms between it exists.

Many years later, Xehanort and Eraqus became the apprentices of a Keyblade Master descended from a person who left Daybreak Town all those years, who acted as one of the guardians to all the sleeping hearts.

Yen Sid is trained by a wandering Dandelion descendant.

Back in the old days, being a Keyblade wielder meant you went to sleep, guarded Scala Ad Caelum or you got found by a stranger who took a particular shine to you.

After Lauriam “died” and Ventus left, Ephemer, Skuld and Brain realise for once that they’re just children.

Two of their friends are gone for eternity.

Back to Roxas, he’s just… tripping out. Majorly. 

What’s with all these grey cats surrounding him and bawling their eyes out right next to his ear?

They’re going off the rails, saying things about calling the Grand Masters over to the plaza he awoke in, calling him a name unfamiliar to his memory.

Then there’s a corridor of darkness and light opening right before the poor boy and the trio that steps out are who he assumes to be the Grand Masters.

They look barely older than him, maybe by a year or two but no more than that.

“Ventus?” the girl whispers, taking a knee to meet him at eye level. “It’s been years, how…?”

“Please, Skuld. We could’ve never known if he left in the first place. He might’ve actually run off to another dream and accidentally opened up a corridor here. Don’t overwhelm him with questions,” says one of the boys, tilting back his head slightly to stare at Roxas from under the brim of his hat.

“I wasn’t about to, Brain! Eh, Ephemer, back me up here… Ephemer? Something wrong?”

“It’s Ventus for sure, but… His heart… I can’t sense it.”

During Days 23 to 50, Sora goes through Castle Oblivion and Axel does the dirty.

When Larxene and Marluxia cease to exist, it begins the process of reforming as their Somebodies.

They’re how old by now?

Their Heartless are long gone.

Which means that while their bodies end up in Scala Ad Caelum, their hearts awaken in Daybreak Town, just as Sora is put to sleep by Naminé—meaning they just missed Roxas returning to Reality.

Did I forget to mention Xion is still a puppet?

Late-358/2: 

“All my friends are dead to me.”

After awakening, Roxas immediately begins to distrust the Organization. He’s beyond paranoid by this point.

He’s suspicious of Axel especially, considering that the members who perished at Castle Oblivion weren’t exactly pushovers.

He thinks he’s done this before; maybe Ventus did too?

The Grand Masters weren’t exactly transparent on what Ventus did, but Roxas knew better than to question it when he saw the way they acted guarded around him.

He has a “contemplating on running away from home to find answers” phase. Like all good Nobodies do at some point in their meaningless existences.

Seeing as Xion doesn’t have any problems following the orders of anybody, he enlists her help to investigate. 

She gets a face.

Finally.

Jokes on Roxas because Sora’s memory is questionable.

IT’S STRELITZIA’S FACE.

[ I just realised Marluxia and Larxene aren’t around by this point. ]

[ That’s a shame. ]

The change affects everyone’s sight. Yes, even Saïx and Xigbar aren’t safe.

She retains the colour of her hair, but it is noticeably longer than what it appeared to be initially.

No one knows whose face Xion has and no amount of programming can change it.

Xemnas is tired of kids not following the plan.

A wild Riku Ansem appears.

And he’s just as confused by Xion as the rest of the Organization.

“DiZ, it looks like no one Sora’s ever met.”

“Perhaps it took its face from another source.”

“What—those other drawing of Naminé’s? How can that be?”

“Not everything needs a sound explaination. No matter, regardless of the puppet’s state, you need to capture it as it will be necessary for our plans to move ahead.”

Despite Riku’s Ansem’s skepticism, Xion having Strelitzia’s face is on Naminé’s part.

Because Marluxia was half the asshole he was in canon and memory magic is very potent in the hands of a capable student.

Going through Marluxia’s head and finding a girl of unknown origins was very good blackmail material.

She drew creepy renditions of his old life.

And then she shoved a copy of Lauriam’s memories into Sora’s heart when she put him to sleep to reconnect his chain of memories.

Why?

Because she could.

And she wanted to flip the bird on Marluxia in the case that he didn’t die and would have to fight Sora again.

[ Oh, jeez, this AU’s version of Sora will be so weird in KH3′s setting because of that one trailer showing us Marluxia’s return. ]

Naminé the Witch of Memories for the win.

The wonder duo of Roxas and Xion eventually allow Axel into their circle of conspiracies. However, there are cutthroat rules about how and what he can do to help.

The days go.

Kill Heartless, collect hearts, lie to Xemnas, eat sea-salt ice cream.

Just the usual shebang.

Traitor!Xion is a thing now: desperate to discover her origins, instead of being forcefully taken and convinced, Xion willingly walks right up to DiZ and Ansem’s doorstep.

Yes, even though she and Roxas are friends, it should also serve as a remainder that their relationship isn’t as close in canon, here they both halfly trust one another because they know the Organization has more sinister plans for them. 

They need another pair of eyes to look out for their backs.

Their partnership is just them using each other for personal gains.

Axel is completely on a different loop.

He has no idea what’s going on in his friends’ heads.

They were planning on offing Axel but resisted the urge.

Xion learns exactly who and what she is.

DiZ finding the opportunity to do so, puts her to sleep and forces Naminé to rewire her memories; making it seem like to Xion that the Organization stole her (Sora’s) memories and DiZ is trying to help her get them back from Roxas.

“Destroy the boy.”

“Okay, DiZ.”

Naminé takes the time to stick a copy of Lauriam’s memories of Strelitzia in Xion too. For good measure, she reasons to herself. 

Roxas’s final battle is technically against “Mystery Girl”.

An unholy amalgamation between Xion’s last form and Marluxia’s own.

Her memory went out of wack.

There’s flower petals everywhere when she lands a blow on Roxas while they fight above Twilight Town.

Prologue-KH2:

Making munny is exhausting.

The normal stuff happens, except:

a). Naminé to anybody she can get her hands on, “You get a copy of someone’s memories and you get a copy of someone’s memories! Everyone gets a copy of someone’s memories!!”

b). Axel buys a crate of sea-salt and throws it down from atop the clock tower, wanting to test the limitations of digital data and human injury on Day 2.

“Accidental Murder” evolves into “Natural Disaster of a Murderer”.

When Roxas thinks Axel died, he shrugged it off.

People come back from the dead all the time.

Stop starting fires, DiZ.

Ansem Riku questions his morals.

Everything should be back to normal when Sora wakes up, right?

Unknown Point(s):

“Lauriam?”

“Ah, my old friends. How long has it been since we last talked like civilised people?”

The three Grand Masters laugh. “Far too long.”

“Hey, Marluxia, where—”

“Who’s this?”

“Why, might I introduce to you my dear friend Elrena?”

“You may.”   

In other news, Ventus is a time traveller, Lauriam served his time, Elrena didn’t ask for this and Kingdom Hearts is bad news.

I might add some more headcanons after KH3 blasts a hole somewhere in my ship and becomes safe to talk about.

[kalinara]

Rip - honour. Rip - intelligence. Rip - savvy. Rip - interactions. Rip - groups. Rip - pride, hubris, arrogance. Rip - resiliency. Rip - attraction. Rip - relationships (any/all kinds). Rip -privacy. Rip - secrets (both keeping them and being out of the loop). Rip - touch. Rip - respect. Rip - love (all of them). Rip - disaster. Rip - loneliness. Rip - leadership. Rip - ever be ready/willing to have a relationship again? Rip - relaxation. Rip - nemesis.

Rip - honour. 

Hah, that’s an interesting prompt because my gut instinct is that he is an honorable person…for the most part.

And for a certain definition of “honor”.  (Sorry, American.  I have no time for an extra “u”.)

I think he tries to follow a code of honor when he deals with the team, as much as possible.  He lies to them, yes.  But he also tends to be very open with the risks and their chances of success.  For example, when he recruited them against Vandal Savage, he might not have told them the whole truth, but he never let them believe it was anything but a nearly-impossible quest.  He always offered to take them home, and when Mick and Snart took him up on it, he didn’t make any attempt to stop them.

But at the same time, I think that he’s used to working on a bit more of a grand scale, with stakes that make honor and fair play a bit less of a priority.

Certainly, as we’ve seen, he isn’t inclined to a fair fight.  He’s got that stunner for a reason.  And while he’s a good hand-to-hand fighter, he does his best work via sneakiness and ambush.  But he’s a scrawny man with no superpowers, so it’s debatable as to how fair some of these fights would be anyway, if he didn’t cheat.  :-P

In the end, I think he’s a pragmatist who wants to be honorable, and tries to be honorable to an extent, but is willing to push that honor aside when the stakes are high enough.

Rip - intelligence

I think Rip has a lot of ingrained assumptions and prejudices with regard to intelligence and/or education.  I think that it’s a quality that he values very highly.  And I think we can see that in the way he initially responds to the crew.

He seems to immediately find a common ground with Martin.  They clash at times, but there was an immediate mutual respect.  As bad as he often was as a leader, he was usually pretty decent at managing Ray.  (And for that matter, in Fellowship, he seemed to be even a little better at keeping Nate in line than Sara usually is.)  He seems to have a lot more patience with the kind of accidental insubordination of distracted geeks than he does with other folk.

He gets along reasonably well with folks like Sara and Jax, who may not have the fancy degrees, but have a lot of natural intelligence.  He respects, although distrusts, Snart.

And it probably, subconsciously, fed into his issues with Mick at first.  Mick is not stupid at all, but his intelligence is on a social/emotional level that the Time Masters aren’t likely to value or even recognize.  And I think Rip’s personal history adds some interesting layers to it.

Rip spent the first formative years of his life starving on the streets.  We don’t know much about that time, but I’m inclined to think that if he’s so quick to stab an adult when feeling threatened, it probably wasn’t particularly pleasant.  I think we can probably hazard a guess that there wasn’t much in the way of educational opportunities there either.

But that changed when he got recruited to the Time Masters.  Suddenly, he was in this warm, safe, place, where he could eat his fill and no one could hurt him.   It must have felt like a completely different world.  And of course, the Time Masters didn’t just give their orphans housing and an upbringing, but an education as well.  (and a healthy dose of indoctrination).

So I tend to think somewhere in the unconscious part of Rip’s mind, he associates education/intelligence with all of the good things like food, comfort, safety.  Basically civilization. Whereas the lack of education/intelligence ends up associated with the fear, cold, terror, hunger of his very early past. 

I don’t really think it’s the key reason he didn’t like Mick at first.  But I think it’s tied up in all sorts of other issues.  Mick is a criminal.  Mick is brutal.  Mick is angry and uncontrollable and violent.  Mick is uneducated.  Somewhere in the back of Rip’s mind, Mick basically is associated with everything that Rip has been raised to hate about his pre-Time Master past.  And of course, the odds are that street-kid Rip would have met people that, on surface level, seemed a lot like Mick.  And those likely would not have been fun or positive experiences.

None of this, of course, is fair to Mick.  (Fortunately, Rip seemed to realize that after the Chronos debacle, and their dynamic shifts significantly and positively in the second half of the season.)

Rip - savvy. 

Okay, so I was going to type a lot about how I think Rip values shrewdness and practical knowledge, but that’s boring and I just typed a lot about intelligence anyway.  So instead, I will talk about pirates.

I think that Rip is secretly a big fan of pirate type media, and may have, at some point during rebellious adolescence considered running away and becoming a time pirate himself.

Gideon was always a little sad that he never followed through with it.  His pirate dreams were a lot of fun, and she always thought she’d make a good pirate ship.

Rip - interactions. 

I think Rip has no idea how to interact with people on a normal, person-to-person basis, without some sort of great goal or mission in mind.

I mean, can you imagine the poor guy trying to engage in small talk?

Rip - groups

So, the most interesting thing about the JSA/Spear reveal in season two, to me (as a single-minded Rip fan) was that it showed that Rip has actually worked with a group before.  And surprisingly enough, seemed to be really effective at it.

I suspect a lot of it comes from the fact that by the time Rip recruited the JSA, they’d been working together for more than a decade.  And even back in 1942, they were pretty calm, focused and disciplined.  So it would have been pretty easy for Rip to present his case to them, and once they’d agreed to help, they would have devoted that calm, focused, discipline to the pursuit of their mutual goals.

But as we’ve seen: Time Masters tend to work alone.  So I doubt he had any real appreciation of the work that goes into creating a team like that.  Recruiting the Legends would have been a nasty surprise.

 Rip - pride, hubris, arrogance

I think that Rip does tend toward a certain arrogance.  I hesitate to call it hubris though, because I don’t think he tends toward “excessive” pride.  (I think Rip’s deadly sin is more wrath than pride, honestly.)

Rip’s arrogance comes from his abilities and experiences.  He’s a Time Master and he’s a damn good one.  He’s Captained the Waverider for twelve years.  He’s feared by time pirates.  He has a shit ton of skills and training to back that up.

I don’t however think he’s a snob.  I don’t think he has an innate sense of aristocracy, or the belief that he’s better than other people.  He was pretty quick to treat his team as his equals.  He respected Martin’s ability to use time equations, Jax’s ability as ship’s engineer, Sara’s ability to fight and to lead.  I think that his initial issues with the Rogues weren’t so much feeling as though he was better than them, as they reminded him of an origin/life that he very much wanted to forget.  There’s an interesting distinction there that might fuel its own blog post one day.

Rip’s secret keeping probably does have an element of pride, but I think it’s less about an inflated ego, and more a sense of “this is MY responsibility, I can’t put this on someone else’s shoulders.”  

Now the Time Masters on a whole?  The epitome of hubris.  There’s a reason that I think of them as the time-space Order of Hermes.  They scheme, they manipulate, they control, and they tell themselves that it’s for the best.  That they’re the best people to make these decisions.  And in the end, their machinations led to their own destruction.

Rip - resiliency

Rip is a survivor.  He kind of has to be.  We’ve seen the trauma list.  But I wonder if maybe his resiliency hasn’t met its match.  Rip’s been different since Land of the Lost.   More shaken, less certain.  And I don’t think it’s entirely about confusion over his place in the group.  

I’ve described Rip as a festering knot of rage and sarcasm wrapped in a duster (a description that I am rightfully proud of), but we haven’t seen any of that rage since Rip woke up.  Even when the poor guy was face to face with Eobard, all he managed was a tired sounding “in the brig”.  It’s worrisome.

Rip - attraction

Okay, so I mentioned before that I officially claim Rip Hunter as an asexual character.  Dude fell in love with a disembodied AI, whose only visual image is a floating blue head.  He’s one of us.

That said, it’s clear that he has romantic attraction.  We see that with Miranda, Jonah, and Gideon.  It’s not a very large sample size, I’ll grant you.  But what can you do.

But based on those, I would say that Rip seems to be drawn toward passionate, somewhat domineering personalities (Gideon’s subtler about it, but it’s definitely there), with strong convictions.  And he seems to especially like beings with a wild or uncontrollable streak.  

So this is where I reiterate the headcanon that Rip is romantically in love with his entire damn team.

(I suspect he also may have a bit of an oedipal/electra complex.)

(Bonus, slightly disturbing thought: if you look at Jonah Hex and then you look at Mick Rory, then it starts to be possible that there may have been yet another element involved in Rip’s initial difficulty in dealing with Mick.  Just saying.)

 Rip - relationships (any/all kind)

Hm.  Well.  For a Time Master, whose ethos specifically forbids most types of attachments, Rip seems to have collected a lot of them.

Miranda and Jonas are obvious, of course.

But there’s also the team, who he loves so much that even when he’s amnesiac he’s trying to save them.

There’s mentor/father figure, Druce.  Mary Xavier.  There’s Gideon.  The JSA (at least Heywood and McNider.  Courtney seemed more distant.)  Jonah.

There’s even that fucked up obsessed villain dynamic that he has with both Vandal Savage and Eobard Thawne.

I mean, really?  That’s a lot of fucking relationships.  He’s really bad at the no-attachment thing, isn’t he?

(Awkward crossover AU idea: Rip Hunter in the old Jedi Order.  or possibly  Rip Hunter, the galaxy’s worst accidental Sith ever.)

 Rip -privacy and  Rip - secrets (both keeping them and being out of the loop)

I think privacy among the Time Masters must be a really interesting concept.  They have AIs that monitor dreams.  Councils that regulate romantic relationships.  Devices to literally invade people’s minds.

That’s not a society that puts a lot of stock in privacy.

But I’m reminded of something I read about Japan, when I was much younger, which discussed how even though physical personal space was very different there than in the United States (as anyone who’s ever been crammed into a Japanese subway can attest), many Japanese people had other ways to establish personal boundaries and maintain some measure of distance from one another psychologically, even if it can’t always happen physically.

And it makes me wonder if the Time Masters don’t have their own ways of psychologically creating some measure of privacy for themselves.

It may explain why Rip finds it so difficult to open up to his crew.  What do you keep for yourself in a society where even your dreams are monitored?

That said, to Rip’s credit, he isn’t prone toward hypocrisy.  He doesn’t seem to have much of an issue when the crew keeps secrets from him too.  (He was concerned about Sara’s bloodlust, but he didn’t seem to be upset that she didn’t tell him about it, for example.)

Rip - touch

I think this is one of the ways that the Time Masters really fucked Rip up royally from day one.  Because Rip is so standoffish most of the time, so rigid and closed off, that he pretty much breathes “don’t touch me” vibes.

But as has been pointed out and illustrated in lovely gifsets, Rip is remarkably touchy-feely when people are injured.  Shoulder pats.  Face holding.  Hand holding.  And it’s not a matter of him tolerating their need for comfort.  He’s the one who reaches out.

He’s the one that, as soon as he’s freed from the brig in his mind, immediately clings to Gideon (though when it came to the kiss, she pretty much jumped up to meet him half way.  But that’s a different bit of meta.)

And then there was that weird sort of lean/not-lean into Jonah Hex’s space when they’re bantering about laser guns.

I think ultimately that Rip is not touch-averse at all.  He’s touch-starved.  He wants to reach out to people.  He wants to offer comfort and receive it.   He’d actually really enjoy a shoulder pat or a hand-shake, or a god-damned real, corporeal hug.  But he doesn’t know how to ask for it.

He gives “don’t touch me” vibes because he doesn’t know how not to.  And that’s so very sad.

Rip - respect

Okay, this one is more tangential.  But I always find myself wondering about Magister Druce.  I mean, specifically, his role in young Rip’s life.  Because Rip respects him and trusts him so damn much for most of season one.  EVEN after being lead into an ambush.  EVEN after knowing about Chronos.  EVEN after he issues the Omega Protocol.

And has that actor EVER played a good guy?  Ever?

But Rip’s utter shock when he learns the depths of Druce’s betrayal is unmistakable.

And the thing is, I’m not sure that the regard is entirely one-sided.  I’ve mentioned before that the entire Oculus reveal was basically unnecessary.  Rip was captured and likely to be executed, exiled, or just imprisoned for life.  Druce had no reason to remove him from his cell and explain everything.  Unless he seriously thought something would be gained by it.  I wonder, if Rip had given into despair and surrendered, if Druce wouldn’t have actually brought him back into the fold.  I kind of think that was the intention.  (Especially given the parallel cuts to Mick’s re-brainwashing.)

It’s pretty clear that they were mentor and student at one time.  But it seems like a little more than that.  This isn’t just a student’s respect and trust for a mentor.  It’s bigger, blinder, more unconditional than that.  It’s a child’s trust, and as we’ve seen, Rip isn’t particularly good at trusting anyone.

It wouldn’t surprise me if Druce had been grooming him from a very young age.  He might have even been the one who initially found little Michael on the streets and brought him in.  It would explain a lot.  Particularly the level of self-loathing that Rip has for his younger self.  Mary Xavier wouldn’t have encouraged that, and instead seemed gently tolerant of Michael’s issues.  Druce, however, may have.

And of course, then it leads to more speculation.  Rip may not have trusted the Time Masters, but he trusted Druce.  How much did he trust him?  Did Vandal Savage know how to find Miranda and Jonas because Rip told Druce where they were?

Rip - love (all of them). 

All of the types of love or all of the characters?  

Okay, so, this is another “I blame the Time Masters” bit, but I suspect that eros and philia are really easily mixed up in Rip’s brain.  It’s what comes of a society that stigmatizes normal human connections the way it does.  

I’ve mentioned before that I imagine Rip sees gestures of romance in the same way that we look at overtly sexual acts, and I stand by that.  In a lot of ways, I think he’d be more comfortable seeing sexual acts, as that’s just primitive biology.  Romance and friendship, concepts that prize connections between people, that prioritize certain people over others or even the world…  those are truly dangerous for a Time Master.

And considering that Rip did help break time specifically for his team, the Time Masters may have had a bit of a point.

But anyway, this is yet another chance to state my sincere belief that Rip Hunter is deeply in love with his entire team.  Even Martin.  Even Mick.  And of course, Gideon.  And he has no idea how to begin to parse out these emotions or what to do with them.

I think the Time Masters probably have a really interesting stance on storge.  There are certain implications that it’s frowned upon as well.  Certainly Jonas was a problem.  And I suspect there’s a reason Rip had to cross his own timeline in order to seek his mother’s help.

The one storge type of relationship that seems to be tolerated is Rip’s regard for Zaman Druce.  But perhaps that makes a lot of sense.  If the young Time Masters’ are only allowed one outlet for human connection, they will likely be very dependent on it, and therefore more easily influenced.

Agape is probably the love most favored by the Time Masters.  But I think it’s the love that Rip is least suited to.  Agape requires a level of emotional distance that I don’t really think Rip has.  Rip goes all in.

Rip - disaster. 

I feel like that dash should be an equal sign.  And that pretty much says it all.  :-)

Rip - loneliness

One very consistent character trait of Rip’s is that, in the end, he really needs to have people around him.  We’ve seen what he does when he’s alone: he either ends up succumbing to despair or engaging in tremendously bad, self-destructive ideas.

The truly depressing part about Rip’s story so far, however, is that he starts out as a man who is (except for Gideon, to be fair) completely alone with his grief, rage and guilt.  He ends up gathering a makeshift family of misfits and assholes.  But he still ends up suffering alone.  

Rip - leadership

Wisecracks aside, I don’t actually think that Rip is THAT bad as a leader.  As we’ve seen in the Spear flashbacks and  in Fellowship: when there’s a clear goal, with a clear direction, with a team that’s willing to listen, he does fine.

Furthermore, there are a number of really good decisions that he made in season one that he never really gets credit for: 

For example, naming Jax as ship’s mechanic.  This wasn’t just a lucky spur of the moment decision.  It was a decision made in the context of a growing issue.

If you recall, the relationship between Martin and Jax was a pretty important arc in the beginning of season one.  Martin had kidnapped Jax to bring him along, to begin with, while Jax had expressed doubts that he’d be any use on this kind of team.  They were also dealing with Martin being overprotective and domineering toward Jax, as a result of dealing with Ronnie’s death.  Martin had to learn to trust and back off of Jax.

So looking at that, then we can see why naming Jax as the ship’s mechanic was actually a legitimately brilliant management decision.

Jax didn’t initially have a lot of self-confidence.  He saw himself as the normal guy.  An ordinary mechanic surrounded by super geniuses and assassins and so on. (Not that there is anything wrong with being a mechanic.)

But Jax was a mechanic and a very good one.  And he was much smarter than he gave himself credit for.  This made him an ideal choice.  (And since he’s patient and mature, he’s far better suited than Ray, who while brilliant and mechanically inclined, is a bit too erratic for this kind of job.)

So Jax discovers that he has it in him to be an awesome Chief Engineer.  Instant boost of confidence.

It also has nothing to do with Martin or Firestorm.  As we’ve seen with Ray, when you have powers or cool tech, it can be very easy to put all your self-worth into one specific role.  And when you’re partnered with someone who can be a little overbearing, like Martin, then that can be a lot of added stress or a recipe for co-dependence.

But this way, Jax has something that proves that he has value as a teammate besides just being Martin’s partner.  It’s something that’s all his.  And it gives him more of a way to argue on equal footing.

And it gives him a way to seek privacy and vent if he needs to.  Need some time alone?  Important repairs.

Another good decision that Rip made was to pair Kendra and Sara in White Knights.  This was, if you recall, right after the episode where Sara had revealed her issues with bloodlust.  And of course, we learn that Kendra’s having a great deal of difficulty managing her Hawk powers and memories.

Neither woman would have likely sought the other out on their own.  As we saw, both had a considerable amount of distrust for each other at the time.  Furthermore, Sara’s used to suffering in silence, while Kendra was understandably overwhelmed with the changes in her life.

They’re both good people though and even though they’re not likely to ask for help for themselves, both women were inclined to try to help someone else.

So Rip pairs them up, points out to each how she’s uniquely qualified to understand what the other is going through.   And voila, both women are able to help each other, and then embark on a lasting friendship.

I don’t point this out to give Rip credit for either Jax’s achievements or Sara and Kendra’s.  He is certainly not the reason that Jax was a good mechanic or the girls became friends.

But in both cases, he was the one to recognize the potential that these characters had, and pushed them into a position to discover that for themselves.

And that’s pretty good!

In the end, Rip’s biggest obstacle as a leader is, I think, a measure of confidence.  He doesn’t have the confidence to open up to his team.  He doesn’t have the confidence to exert authority over his team.  So he is never able to quite direct or control them successfully.

Rip - ever be ready/willing to have a relationship again?

That’s a hard question.  I think at some point in the distant future, he would be ready/willing to have a relationship, but honestly, he’s nowhere near that point right now.  He’s not quite the jagged chasm of despair that he was in season one, thank goodness, but I think he’s still a bit too fragile.

One of the reasons that I ship Time Hex is that I think it’s the only relationship that I could see actually working right now, because all the groundwork was laid a long time ago.  Even if you don’t think they had something going on then, there was still a level of trust and camaraderie that predates Rip’s current fragility.

Prior to Turncoat, I thought Time Canary had a chance to work too.  He’s still kind of broken, but she’s kind of broken too, so I thought they might be in a place that they could help each other.  But then there was evil Rip.  And even though I think Sara’s already forgiven him, and had basically as soon as they saved him if not sooner, Rip isn’t anywhere near ready to forgive himself.  

And really, I don’t think Sara would pursue it either right now, even assuming she’s interested.  She has some idea of how lost and fragile he is right now, and how hard he’s trying to adjust to the changes of the crew, his role and hers.  Pursuing a relationship right then and there would probably feel like a potential abuse of power.  And I think Sara is someone who is always very conscious of that kind of thing.

Oddly, I also don’t think Rip is ready for Time Ship at this juncture, and I kind of wonder if that wasn’t maybe some subconscious push for him to leave the ship.  Because he and Gideon have been partners for a very long time.  She’s a rock and a sole point of stability for him.  But suddenly, thanks to his own impulsive gesture, there’s something new and chaotic in the mix.  I don’t think he’s remotely ready to process that.

Rip - relaxation. 

I’m not sure that I believe Rip is able to relax.  Even before his family died.  He just seems like the sort of person who is constantly focused on a goal or idea.

I’ve mentioned that I don’t see Rip as much of a chess player.  I think of him more as someone who would be putting together a giant 5 billion piece puzzle, or making something.  Basically solitary and creative pursuits.

Rip - nemesis.

Hmm.  Well, so far we had Vandal Savage and Eobard Thawne?  I admit though, I’d love to see the introduction of some rival ex-Time Masters or something.

But really, I want the return of Zaman Druce.  He was such a great villain.  I’d love to see him cross swords with Rip again.  (Also, Leonard Snart would be back too.  I know a lot of folk would enjoy that.  :-P)