#and yes im talking about aki

[proxythe]

i Very briefly touched on this yesterday in one of my tags but i just want to make it its own post bc i have to set one thing straight here: one part about akihiko and shinjiro i’ll always completely ignore is them being afraid of mitsuru. i love and support scary and intimidating women, but not in the way atlus attempts to push it…

+ even if they somehow did it right, i don’t think id ever accept that akihiko or shinji is afraid of her or intimidated by her for any reason. they all respect each other god dammit…

it makes sense that someone like mitsuru would be intimidating to a regular ass person, but is it not so sweet to think that she finally finds people who don’t care about that ?? who know her on a level that completely pushes that aside since they actually care about her as an individual?!!!!! even despite the fact that their relationship begins as “we’re just a team that goes into tartarus and nothing else” it makes sense they’d grow past that point considering they live together + go to school together.

anyways. mitsuru is their bff. ive had enough of this “eek mitsuru is so scary!!!” propaganda … listen… she can still be daunting BUT you have to really understand how to do it right if u want me to give af … and that starts with erasing the fact that akihiko and shinjiro are somehow scared of her … thank you…

[tonberry-yoda]

Denji headcanons because he deserves better

the headcanons at the beginning are for an implied f!reader or at least afab!reader, i just wanted to warn y'all :) but the rest are just goofy

just gonna get this part out of the way

he will stare at your boobs

we already know this

he might also take your bras to just stare at

yes even your underwear im sorry

now that we got perv denji mostly out of the way, lets continue

give him little kisses all the time and he will melt (and slowly it will make him forget about that awful first kiss that we will not talk about here)

you literally make him forget about makima

he is literally in love with you

like cannot take his eyes off of you

he is super appreciative of everything that you do for him, so if you cook for him, he will wolf that down

you are what he dreamed of having his whole life, so actually having you and being able to see you everyday makes him so happy

beware though, this man needs you attention CONSTANTLY

like he will crawl on your lap like a cat just to get you to pet his hair or something

i feel like he would just randomly cry, so please hold him

denji is such a menace, so when you get all chaotic with him, aki's only thought is how he is going to kill the both of you

and dont even get me started on if power joined in

he will eat random shit

like random berries off of trees

please stop him i beg

he is little spoon

please let him be little spoon

he will fall asleep like a baby if you cuddle him

he sucks at videogames, so that's your opportunity to kick his ass fr

he will always ask what's going on in the movie your watching and it makes you just wanna rip his head off, but you tell him anyway because you love him or whatever lmao

he will eat everything in your house

this is your warning

like you will stock up on groceries and find an empty fridge two days later

especially if he brings power over

squish his little cheeks please

take him to an all you can eat buffet and he will eat all he can

he really likes cheesy dates like bowling or going to an arcade. even if he sucks at it, he still wants to go

he will eat anything if it's smothered in cheese. a n y t h i n g

doesnt know how to keep a super tidy space, but it's never outright gross

only sometimes

he does have posters in his room of half naked women

but he will gladly take them down if you ask

he will fall asleep ANYWHERE so be careful

mans will be asleepin the shower if you arent careful

will grab a snake with his bare hands and will ask if he can keep it

this has happened more than once

he will sweetly tells you how much you mean to him though and will never fail to tell you that he really loves you <333

~~~~~

csm masterlist --- pinned post

@tonberry-yoda

[asterifish]

Sweet tooth... // Han Jisung x Male reader

Synopsis: Han is in college, and for alart time job he works at a coffee/candy shop. M/n had been a regular there even before Han started working there, and as weeks passes, Han found himself falling for M/n.

Type: One-shot

Genre: 🍂

Notes: M/n will be reffered to as Akihito(full name), Aki, or Hito

Alsoo this will take place after they start dating, so the synopsis is a bit misleading

Story under the cut!!

Han arrived almost midnight from work, m/n was at home, he'd arrived a few hours before from university.

****

M/n was reading a book when Han came to the room and hid in his arms without saying a word. This happened almost all the time. Han was having bad days at work and m/n was his only refuge.

M/n smiled and waited a few seconds to see if Han wanted to talk about his day today, but he didn't, so he just let him snuggle into his body to relax.

"Bad day?" M/n asks, tussling Han's hair gently. Han nods his head on m/n's shoulder. "Mhm...." he just hugged m/n around the waist, his thin frame contrasted with m/n's own wide, muscular body.

"It's okay baby, you dont have to tell me about it if you dont want to. Would you like forehead kisses?" M/n asks, his voice soft. Han moved around a bit at the mention of kisses, his head nodding quickly with excitement. He really loved any kind of physical affection, and m/n knew this.

"A..and a hug too please Aki?..?" he asked with the cutest and most innocent tone possible, he was not afraid to show how much he needed cuddles.

"Anything for my sweet baby" M/n smiles and wraps his arms around his boyfriend, rubbing his back as he places light kisses on Han's forehead.

Han's tense body relaxed in response to M/n's gentle caresses and kisses. the weight of the world was lifted from his shoulders each time he felt M/n's touch, letting him enjoy the affection without worry.

Burying his face in m/n's broad chest to warm himself more, he longed for as much physical contact as possible while the soft fabric of his baggy sweatshirt brushed against his flushed skin.

Reaching over to the bedside table, M/n grabbed a lollipop, tapping the stick on Han's nose. "Want a lolly to make you feel better?" Han nodded softly as m/n pecked his lips lovingly. there was nothing he liked more than m/n's kisses, which were always filled with a deep affection only he could make Han feel.

"Yes please.." Han's fingers gently wrapped around the stick as he unwrapped it, sticking it into his mouth with a happy expression. smiling at Han's cute action, M/n lifted his boyfriend closer and kissed his forehead again, rubbing his back softly*

After a while, they lay in silence, enjoying each other's company. Han let out a soft gasp when m/n began to play with his hair, enjoying the feeling of his fingers running through his soft locks. he closed his eyes and leaned more into m/n's touch, tilting his head to give him better access. The tension in his body faded away as he focused on m/n's gentle caresses, completely lost in the moment. he loved feeling of pampered by his boyfriend, it made him feel small and he would just melt into m/n's arms.

Hey gamers, sorry this is a bit short, Im in a but of a rush to post this since I promised you guys this almost 2 weeks ago

Stay safe guys💙

[easy-revenge]

Imagine Aki randomly finding things Himeno left behind at his place while cleaning or doing laundry. A tank top in his laundry. Her book she never finished reading. Her lighter she kept misplacing. Her shampoo he always loved the smell of. He keeps all of these things in a shoebox and he wishes he could find a photo of her. He's so scared of forgetting her face, even though he knows that can't possibly happen. Haha. I'm fine.

i was gonna answer these in chronological order since I've fallen off the face of the earth but i got this ask yesterday and i haven't stopped thinking about it......

criminal line of thinking. right up my alley.

i reposted fujimoto talking about her the other day which this post is a reference to and amidst all the love and respect his words about himeno conveyed, that line stuck with me.

it's so real of him to say that himeno leaves things of hers in aki's apartment. the follow up about her leaving little parts of herself in ppl's lives? not ready to talk about that yet, it's such a himeno thing and if sb doesn't say this about me after im dead i might as well not have lived /hj

anyways back to this. time to talk about grief again. oof. aki is such the type to be so quiet about it. he'd have such a personal grieving process.

him doing his errants at the crack of dawn and finding himeno's tank top in his laundry, briefly wondering if it belongs to power but knowing better. the way he'd stay very still for a moment, gripping the soft fabric a little too hard, knowing he washed every last bit of himeno off of it already. all but his memory of her wearing it, gone.

he'd definitely keep the things in a shoe box in a secluded place in his room. mostly to keep them safe from denji and power. somewhere inside also knowing that not seeing them around all the time will eventually help him heal. if he even has enough time left for that.

i imagine even after safely collecting everything and tucking it away, he'd still be reminded of her often. power sitting crosslegged on the balcony's chair just like himeno used to do. denji crouching in front of the fridge to inspect its contents, elbows on his knees.

every time, aki would lose his train of thought, stay still, stare for a moment, then seemingly snap out of it.

he does worry about forgetting her. not just her face. her voice, the way she would sing-song every sentence when she was tipsy, her easy smile, the blush on her cheeks. her touch, her casual affection, her long, knowing looks.

even the small things. the way she would hold a cigarette and refuse to dab the ash off until it was basically hanging off of it and threatening to burn any piece of clothing or paperwork around to cinders. her satisfied sigh after the first sip of cold beer.

the way she'd let her guard down around him sometimes, when they would sit in silence for a long time, her face muscles relaxing and her gaze getting more vacant. it'd remind aki of the himeno he met at the cemetery. selfish and honest and lonely. it never failed to bring tears to aki's eyes. he was always quick to cry.

it gets worse the more time goes by. he thinks about her less. his own life a slippery thing in his hands and his goals staying unachieved and unachievable.

it feels like even more of a betrayal when he asks to be off the gun devil mission. knowing he'd go private without a second thought now if it meant securing a normal, safe life for power and denji. knowing he could've had this with himeno if he'd only said yes back then. he'd be spared so much loss. he'd be spared from loving more people who were just as disposable and temporary as him.

yet he can't bring himself to regret any of it.

the shoe box collects dust in his room and aki keeps his fingers loose around his feeble, unimportant life and his heart open till the end.

[mikajihiko]

Originally Posted on: 2020-10-30 TAG: Vanilla, Soft and Wholesome, Birthday Segs, Blow Jobs, Tipsy, Nervous, No Beta, Was my very first fic! Summary: Ah.. yes.. this is how my life is right now. Just the two of us in Akihiko’s apartment, slightly drunk from having a few drinks. Sitting on the floor close to each other. My eyes closed as I feel his warm hand cupping my face, him wiping my tears with his thumb.

Oh, I love him so much. He brings me so much joy. NOTE: And so Ive decided to post my fic here 😀 still not beta read but we di3 like men! This fic is also available on AO3~

“Haruki, can I hold your hand?” Akihiko says with a pout.

We’ve been dating for a few years now yet there are still times where he asks for my permission before touching me. I do think of it as cute; he still felt guilty and I’m not going to lie, it still makes my heart flutter remembering that all of the changes he did to himself was all for my sake.

I find it unbelievable- the day he blurted out his feelings. It feels like a dream yet I remember it vividly, infact playing it back in my head makes me experience the same feeling of ecstasy. Who would’ve thought a 2 year one-sided crush would turn out to be fruitful? Its been so long that all I can do now is laugh about it. Yes, even to memories I used to have felt a tremendous amount of pain reminiscing.

It makes me so happy that I cant help but think about how my heart could explode. How Aki could probably hear it during the calm nights we rest in each others arms. And, times like this one where I feel tears start running down my face.

“H-haruki, are you alright?”

Ah.. yes.. this is how my life is right now. Just the two of us in Akihiko’s apartment, slightly drunk from having a few drinks. Sitting on the floor close to each other. My eyes closed as I feel his warm hand cupping my face, him wiping my tears with his thumb.

Oh, I love him so much. He brings me so much joy.

I intertwined the same hand he had on my face with mine. Staring loving at his shimmering emerald eyes as I give his hand a peck. I couldnt help but crack a smile as I felt his hand tremble. “Aki” I called “You do know I don’t bite, right?”

He flinches a bit before covering his now lightly tinted red face with his other hand. Probably, no, definitely embarrassed about me figuring out how nervous he actually was.

“Pfft. Hey, Aki. You’re really red”

“Im drunk” turning redder than ever. So cute, makes me want to tease him more. “Aki” I leaned forward, resting my forehead on his “Akihiko~ hello~”

“..what?”

“Averting your gaze, huh? Hey, look at me” He closed his eyes and sighed before locking into mine.

“Uwahh your eyes really are green and with little gold flakes too” In my defense, its the alcohol talking. Giving me enough courage as well was knowing Aki’s the type to easily get flustered when drunk.

“You’re embarrassing” he replies, still locking his eyes with mine. I chuckled, letting go of his hand only to run both of mine from his chest, trailing to his shoulders, and finally tangling my fingers onto his golden locks. Does he know how much I crave for his warmth?

“I like this” Aki groans, with a shiver that made him close his eyes “I like how were close like this” wrapping his large hands around my waist, pulling me even closer until our lips were an inch away from each other.

“Your breath smells like alcohol” I laughed, breaking the intimacy. He then too started laughing, and with a tinge of annoyance, started tickling my sides. Before we knew it, we were a mess. Laying on the floor with me in his arms drenched a bit from the spilled alcohol.

“Sorry, I might have drank a little bit too much” I giggled while still try to catch my breath, wiping off the tear from my eye “I spoiled the mood!”

It’s not like I didn’t want things to go that way, I did prepare just incase, and it was getting late and he had work. It was unfortunate he couldn’t take a leave despite it being his birthday.

I laid on his arm the same way I did when we gazed at the night sky. I took a few deep breaths, taking in how enjoyable today was, at the same time accepting how this it was about to end.

“And.. you smell like home, Haruki” he says, breaking the silence, pulling me closer to his chest. His heart raced and, so did mine. Slowly our heart beats resonated, strong and loud as if theyre reaching out to each other.

And this. It was moments like this that for some reason, gravitates me strongly towards him. Moments that leave me speechless. His hand squeezing my waist while the other plays with my hair. I could feel his warm breath on my head as he tries to lose himself with my scent while still showering me endless kisses.

All this and I still yearn for more of him.

“Aki” I called in a raspy voice, moving in a direction that would let me be on top of him. ‘What is it that I want from you?’ I thought to myself as I inched forward towards his face. Raggedly breathing as I glide my tounge on his piercing, softly biting on to his lower lip and pulling backward.

Now that I think about it, we didn’t have a lot of moments like this. Where I had the courage to look at him with half lidded eyes filled with lust. I want him, I want him all for myself and I know that’s selfish but the way he firmly grasps my neck to pull me closer. Taking my lips into his to form a passionate kiss where our tounges yearn for each others warmth.

It feels so good. It feels so good to be around him. I want to be around him.

Him, leaving trails of kisses around my neck. I shut my eyes and shivered, losing the strength on my limbs as I felt the familiar bud of metal graze from the base of my neck to my ear.

“Can we?” He whispers

“Yea” I moaned “I prepared”

“Want to take this to bed?”

I bury my face into his chest and nodded in agreement. He lifts my chin, taking a good look at my flustered face before planting a kiss on my forehead

“Thank you”

He hoists me up, walks towards the bed, and gently places me down. I wrap my arms around his neck clingy on to him desperately. It wont hurt to be a little needy tonight.

“don’t go” attacking him with a kiss after another

“Im not going anywhere” he chuckles

“I love looking into your eyes so you better stay close”

“Hmm? I love looking into yours too” he sung “you’re so beautiful, Haruki”

I pulled him closer to me, gently crashing his lips to mine, starting the series of soft chaste kisses. Opening my mouth as his warm tounge grazes on my bottom lip. The bitterness of alcohol melts away from the sweetness of his kisses. And, for what seems like electricity, runs down my spine every time I feel his piercing making me moan in ecstasy. I can feel his free hand grope my chest, rolling his thumb on my nipple before sliding further downwards. Greeted with the sound of unzipping, he sucks on the bottom of my lip before withdrawing. My heart pounding and me beginning to work some sweat.

My breath hitched as I felt his warm tounge press on my nipple while his long slender fingers pinch and tug on the other. I ran my hands on his hair and pulled onto it as I got even more desperate for touch. My moans slowly increasing in volume and my hips start to jolt sporadically.

“Aki” I groaned, quickly reaching towards the attention deprived area inbetween my legs.

“Baby” he coos, catching my hand “Can I?”

“Yes, please”

He sits up, taking off his tank top. Sweat running down glistening, following the crevices of his toned abdomen. I reached my hand towards his chest, giving it a tight squeeze. “like what you see, haruki?” He teased

“I do” I say as my hands begin to tremble, gliding my thumb against the bud of his nipple. He cracks a smile, quickly hiding it behind a hand

“how could you say that with such an innocent face?”

At this point my head was getting fuzzy with the mixture of pleasure and alcohol. I started to feel like my body instinctively blocked all my senses just so I could concentrated on the chiseled shilouette. It reminded me of the first time I saw him up close. Im mesmerized.

My reminiscing cut short as he hoists my hips towards him. “Hold on tight, Nakayama-senpai” he teases, licking his lips.

He leans towards my loins, looking up to me, making sure I take in the sight of him pampering my thighs with kisses and leaving the trail of hickies. I tremble in anticipation. Nothing to relieve is but heavy breathing and low groans.

Touch me please, Akihiko. I need you. I want to feel you.

And as if he read my mind, he softly blows a gush of wind making my toes curl from the long awaited contact. He starts from the very bottom. Sucking onto the nethers, not staying for long however, quickly moving towards the base. Fondling on the place he was before, he works his way up to the tip with lewd kisses and long licks. I could feel the blood rush to my head, I couldn’t help but feel a tinge of embarrassment. I wonder what he thinks of how I look right now?

My eyes roll back, I could feel his piercing encircling the head. Released a loud moan, him slowly taking in the length. Nuzzling his jaw onto it before starting to bob his head in a rhythmic pace. However, I could no longer take the slow build-up. I lather my hand with my own spit, slitering my way onto my behind. I moan in relief as I plunge into my own ass repeatedly.

“More” I whispered to myself “Please more” and without missing a beat I felt fuller. Inside me was two of his thick fingers and my own, both penetrating and moving in synchrony.

I cried for his name as he sucks and increases his speed in both above and below. I hold onto his tousled locks with my free hand, uncontrollably jerking forward with each hum he made, and loudly groaning as I hit the back of his throat.

Oh god, Im close, not yet!

“Aki, stop” I exclaimed, quickly pulling his hair upwards only for me to release from a look that screamed ecstasy- eyes lidded, furrowed brows, cheeks wet from tears, and now from my own liquids. He coughs lightly and clears his throat.

I pulled away, grabbed his face with both hands and crashed my lips onto his, losing each other in a sloppy kiss. Feeling his large hands on the back of my head, pushing me onto him deeper. Sucking onto my tounge before breaking the kiss. I push him down and straddle him. Licking off the trail I left on his face.

“Haruki” he groans “That kiss kinda hurt”

“Im sorry” I softly laughed, giving him a soft peck on the lips

“I don’t know if I could forgive you that easily, Haruki” he jokes, rummaging under the pillows, pulling out some lube and condoms.

“You really just stash them everywhere, don’t you?”

“You never know when you need it” ripping out the condom out the package and sliding it on his “Mr.I love car sex” he winks

“Oh god shut up” I exclaimed, playfully throwing a pillow towards his face as he laughs uncontrollably.

It was never easy getting it in no matter how much lube there was, especially with his girth. His hands resting on my hips to aid me. Throwing my head back as I felt him hit my favorite spot. Knowing that I like it, he pumps slowly.

Starting with soft moans and a slow pace. His warm hands rubbing the sides of my waist to trail down to my thighs. He stays still, looking at how we were connected while occasionally meeting gazes.

I close my eyes, feeling the immense pleasure surging through my body. I run my hands on his bare chest, teasingly flicking on his nipples and smiling at the sudden noises he’d make.

The pace begins to quicken. The sound of skin slapping, heavy breathing, and sounds of pleasure filled the room. My hips moving on my own as he thrusts into me. I slide my hands forward, now grabbing firmly onto his shoulders, managing to call out his name inbetween breaths as a gesture of asking for consent.

He holds onto my hips firmly and with a nod, began to slam into me with enough force. Making me start digging my nails onto his shoulders, definitely breaking his skin. He moans my name in pleasure, sitting upwards and encases me in a tight embrace.

He continues to move. My eyes flutter as I clung onto his neck as if hanging for dear life. I nuzzle my onto his, whispering words of praise before inititating a tender kiss. He lays be down gently. Tounges dancing with each other.

He holds onto my legs and spreads it wide open. He continues to pound me but now in a faster pace. Feeling a tinge of embarrassment as I felt my own slapping hard against my abdomen, as well as a tight knot building at every thrust.

“Im close” I exclaimed, followed by a long throaty moan and sporadic movements.

He leans forward, securing my hands above my head. I continue to jerk as he thrusts into me harder and faster. My voice becoming shaky but louder out of desperation.

“Help me” I called out for him “I want to cum”.

My eyes rolling towards the back of my head as I feel him once again pound repeatedly on my favorite spot. I could feel one of his hands run down to mine, pumping in synchrony with his thrusts. My vision begins to blur, I could no longer differentiate the feeling on my front from my back. He moves faster, both in hands and below. And finally, with a loud moan and strong jolt upwards, I released.

Akihiko’s moan as I clenched onto him was like music to my ears. I tremble and held my position for a few seconds before settling back to the bed. I felt warm inside, finding the whole situation a bit funny.

My eyes being closed for quite some time, where the only things I could hear was the sound of mine and his breath. That was amazing.

A little time has passed and were both feeling refreshed, sharing a single pair of pajamas.

“Aki, you can be more selfish, you know?”

“Arent I being selfish enough?”

I shake my head “You can want me more”

He shuffles himself closer to me, nuzzling himself on the crook of my neck

“Want me more, Akihiko” I whisper, gently caressing his head

He grunts, pulling me in even closer

I giggled, such a big baby

“It’s your birthday and yet you still go out of your way to make me feel the happiest, thank you” I hold him tightly. My eyes getting heavier and heavier.

“Its because I love you”

I smiled

“I love you too”

“Together, tomorrow’s will always be good” I mumbled to myself, listening to soft snores as I too drift to sleep.

-

“We should drink more” Aki said, moving breakfast to the table “Were honest when drunk”

“What kind of post-sex thoughts are you having?” I laughed

“Ones with you in them” he chuckles, kissing the top of my head

“idiot” I blushed, hiding behind the cup of coffee

[meownotgood]

hi there! im sorry if this is a weird question. you dont have to answer it, i totally understand if you wont or cant for any reason, as it miiight be a little bit on the deeper side of things but it still pertains to self-shipping.

i think you’re a wonderful self-ship writer (and writer in general, i love love loooove your work). i genuinely adore the adoration you hold for aki, and i love that you share self-insert fics and scenarios with him. my question is just… how do you do it? when it comes to the character i self-ship with (not from csm), i can’t help but feel jealous or possessive when anyone else likes them the same way that i do. do you ever get that way or have moments like that? if so, how do you handle it? and if you dont feel this way then… i dont know, whats your mindset behind it?

again sorry if this is a weird question! i hope its not rude, or too overwhelming. if you’re wondering the reason i came to you to ask this, its because you appear to have so much fun self-shipping and interacting w/ other aki lovers online and i dont know how to tap into that with the character i self-ship with. like my jealousy overwhelms my ability to be self indulgent. i know its all just fiction and meant to be fun, but simply knowing that doesnt help in my case :’)

thank you in advanced if you do answer this, and please dont fret if you cant or dont. your wellbeing is of utmost importance here so ill end this with: thank you once again for your time, and please as always take care of yourself! :D <3

don't worry, it's not weird at all!! I'll try to answer as best I can!! 💪

firstly, just remember that your online experience is yours and you can tailor it however you'd like... if something like that upsets you, it's fine to just block or do your own thing... do what makes you feel happy and comfortable with your space first and foremost.

for me, the best way I can put it is like... I love aki and he is very comforting to me in many ways, but my heart wants to share that love... I feel happy to see other people love and appreciate the same character as me, because it means more content to go around! it's so fun to talk with people about my fave and such... I'm like. yes I want everyone to love aki. when someone else appreciates him too, it's like double the love in my heart lol

I'm probably awful at explaining it bahaha but, in the end you can do whatever you wish. there were times I did feel jealous or upset like that, but it was usually because I felt frustrated, or I was hurting at the time and needed to be patient with myself to heal. remember that you are loved, you should love yourself as much as your fave as much as your fave loves you, the world is better with love to go around 🤲💗

[hecksupremechips]

giving u a lil friend smooch and permission to talk about whatever crosses your mind MWAH

Whale ain’t that sweet 🥺

Time to talk very long in an incoherent way cuz im out of meds and sleep deprived and having issues rn so its. Not gonna be. Words gonna go silly

I’m never not thinking about shinji this is known this is truth I think shinji and ryuki have this shared problem of being my favorite characters ever but the game theyre in sucks and is Bad so bad lol but shhhh I don’t wanna talk about that part rn I’ll get really bitchy. I’m very insecure that when I write the shinji and akihiko relationship during the 2 years separation that I’m making aki look like a fucking asshole on accident liek I’m worried my biases are skewing things cuz like okay. Main conflict is aki wants shinji to come back to sees and feels like he’s blaming himself too much for the incident with kens mom to the point of not doing ANYTHING like just wallowing in self pity. And shinji doesn’t wanna come back cuz guilt + trauma has ruined everything about sees and he doesn’t have a clue how to control his persona so he doesn’t wanna risk another casualty and he’s sick of being asked to come back to that shit and starts destroying himself yayyy. And its a very real conflict like it hurts cuz neither of them are WRONG but they’re horrible at communicating and they have so much bullshit to carry that they should t have to carry on their own but they don’t have anyone to rely on, especially not shinji. But sometimes I think like in both the canon and in fics akis perspective is shown waaay more and he’s made out to be like. Correct? Like I’m supposed to think shinji is being unreasonable or something or that he’s an asshole and it’s like. No??? I think he’s actually very reasonable like he really shouldn’t have to come back to sees it’s not the end of the world like yes, he shouldn’t be isolating himself it’s not good for him but that’s not like. A moral failing he’s literally just traumatized and suicidal and like. Of course he’s isolating! Of course he’s being secretive and hurting himself and feels at fault like he isn’t a regular persona user his persona is literally actively dangerous which would obviously translate to him as “im dangerous” and hes also literally been told all his life he’s a failure he’s literally the loner with “behavior issues” and no family no money treated as a burden by all the adults and being in sees was his one chance to be a part of something where he finally wasn’t a failure and then. He failed at that too. And he loves his friends but like, their lives aren’t the same. Mitsuru has always been rich and beautiful and smart and akihiko came from the same place but he got adopted by a nice rich family and is a star athlete and smart and well behaved and then theres shinji the drop out freak and I think that’s also what leads him to connect with strega and get the suppressants is just like. The feeling of being misunderstood by the people who SHOULD understand but they just like. Literally cannot because of their different roles in society. It’s painful! It isn’t something he wants to address but it’s undeniably there! And it’s painful for aki just like. The realization that he alone cannot move shinji he alone cannot make him happy again and theres parts of him he’ll literally never understand it’s horrible cuz they’ve always understood each other and been able to pick each other up but the world is getting too complicated and they’re both so damaged and can’t do it alone anymore and punching shadows just. Won’t fix it. They need so much love and support and therapy and cookies many cookies and shinji lives in my pocket

Okay now that I’ve gotten the bulk of that ramble out of the way let’s get cute okay. I really wanna write halloween fics rn even though it’s July like it’s actually a need and of course it’s about my favorite tsundere family trio so basically basically basically October is a horrible month for them but they and the rest of sees decide to get really into Halloween just to have something good to look forward to and I like to imagine shinji in an attempt to find a will to live gets like REALLY into sewing like hes always been able to sew just like basic stuff like he always mended clothes and made miki a stuffed animal out of old socks (it was really ugly she loved it) and he could stitch up wounds but he never really got too skilled at it. And then one day he notices koromarus costume is a little wonky and this spirals into I MUST MAKE A NEW COSTUME FOR KORO and before he knows what’s happening koro is dressed like a clown fish and a month has passed and he hasn’t tried to hurt himself once so FUCK this is now something he’s become deeply invested in. So he decides he’s gonna make Halloween costumes for Ken and (sigh) himself cuz yeah. There’s obviously gonna be a halloween party costumes are required. Ken I think would like trick or treating but also he’s like IM NOT A BABY I DONT DO THAT and I think aki and shinji would respect that but also they kinda really wanna take him trick or treating cuz a) it’s fun and they need fun memories and Ken needs to have childhood fun before he’s too old b) they didn’t really get to have much halloween fun as kids and c) candy free candy. Still undecided if they’ll go or not BUT they will at least have the party to go to and they’re all like oh noooooo (secretly very excited). So back to sewing shinji tries to engage with kens interests and with great great effort he promises Ken that they’ll dress up as his favorite characters and Ken sooo wants to act cool but he’s over the moon and the idea of shinji dressing up with him is just. Sobs I’m actually gonna cry JUST THINKING ABOUT IT STOP. So shinji gets some shitty ass discount fabrics and is gonna hand sew them but he’s starting kinda late and his hands are a lot weaker now so he’s forced to use 🙊 the sewing machine. And he is very bad. With the sewing machine but he cannot destroy it with his ax because it was a gift and he doesn’t have time to struggle with this and he wants to call fuuka for assistance but he’s a little shit who hates asking for help and also it’d ruin the surprise if she knew his costume plans obviously. So basically enter aki who walks in on this and he’s like hey did you know you can read the instruction manual for help and shinji is like FUCK YOU OF COURSE I KNOW THIS and aki is like then hwhyyy are you nOT DOING IT and so they have to take a night to figure it out (date night goals) and it’s literally so difficult cuz the instructions are total gibberish to shinji but at least he knows how sewing works while aki is the opposite he can read the manual but doesn’t know shit about threads or fabric so they have to work together it’s atrocious it’s like diffusing a bomb and then other conflicts come up aki is like. Am I getting a costume too and shinji is like lol no and aki is like but I wanna be part of this joint costume thing it sounds cute and shinji is like ….did….did you think you weren’t gonna be part of this???? And aki is like YOU NEVER DISCUSSED IT WITH ME???? So poor aki just thought he was excluded from the big costume moment cuz shinji forgot to explicitly tell him that it was a thing they’d both do cuz he just thought it was obvious and this changes EVERYTHING SHINJI so they discuss their costumes and shinji is like okay cool but I’m still not making your costume for you that’s something you gotta figure out for yourself lol and then they get the machine working and shinji makes a third costume and it’s sweet but also he does get scolded for overworking himself but it’s fiiiiine it’s literally fiiiine and Ken is happy even though the costumes are really wonky cuz he thinks he looks JUST LIKE his

Blorbo and also he honestly didn’t think shinji and aki would actually go through with dressing up with him cuz he’s just so used to empty promises and not getting good things BUT THEY FOLLOWED THROUGH and they look really dorky and stupid but they match with him and they did it for him and they look like a family and oh god im crying again hold on. And they get a lot of candy obviously and side note akihiko would be that bitch who gives raisins to everyone because it’s the only candy he likes and he genuinely thinks kids would want it because ITS LITERALLY NATURES CANDY and their apartment gets egged

[ashtoberr]

ASHUTA IS SO COOL OHHH MYYY GODDD •□•!!!!!

Hi hi I loveeee your csm oc / insert ♡♡ THEYRE SO COOL Her lore is so interesting 💭💭 At least. The lore that I've seen so far is so interesting. AND HER DESIGN IS SO CUTE I ADORE IT SM 🏂🏾🏂🏾🏂🏾

I always love it when ocs break the "norm" of their universe (idk if that makes sense but her being a vampire when most, if not all of the supernatural entities are devils/Devil adjacent is so swag and cool and based I LOVE SEEING CHARACTERS LIKE THAT 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽)

Her and Aki seem so cute too :3cc I don't think you understand how STOKED I was to see them in the selfship tag. Saw it and ran around my room screaming (in spirit not in action) because YES !!! FINALLY!!! IM STARTING TO SEE MORE PEOPLE W/ CSM SELF SHIPS / OC X CC SHIPS !!!!

I wanna know all ur thoughts about Ashuta 💭💭 She genuinely seems like such a cool character they're so epic and awesome n cool n swag ((o(^∇^)o))

OMG HI!!!! IM SORRY I JUST SAW THIS Ahhh thank you so much!!! It's super exciting to met another CSM selfshipper!!!! :DDD I'd love to hear abt ur self insert omg I'm so glad you like her!!!!!!! It actually means a lot, she makes me really happy to work on :D

And trust me I will provide on Ashuta lore >:3 Here is The Food For Today. I didn't include art this time bc I have been eepy. I have ideas for long after this, but this is the general gist. I plan to eventually draw a lot (if not all) of this out. Here's her concept for her first appearance and mission (Chapters 14 to 20, or up to episode 7 in the anime):

So, after being found by Makima:

She is added to the team briefly after Denji and Power. I'm currently undecided at which point she should enter the story; I'm thinking about prior to Chapter 14.

Makima helps her find a place (up until this point, she's been homeless since becoming a vampire) near Aki's apartment, encouraging her to make friends. She suggests Denji could use a friend since he's similar to her (not fully human, rough background).

Ashuta believes that since she'll be on a team of devils and humans, she would be more likely to make friends since they should be more accepting, right? She shows up to the Hayakawa apartment with some food, trying to introduce herself as a new member of the team (and not disclosing herself as a vampire yet- Power can tell, but doesn't care enough to point it out).

Denji thinks at first she's friendly, but a bit too polite and wonders how someone like her got chosen by Makima. Power doesn't initially feel strongly about her either way, though she's delighted to meet Meowy.

Aki thinks she's polite (and finally someone easy for him to get along with on his squad), but questions why she became a devil hunter after a couple hours of them hanging out. She briefly explains that she's a vampire, and that her life was ruined by the Vampire Devil. Aki's tone quickly changes knowing she's not human, and the night is sort of abruptly ended.

CHAPTER 14:

She's integrated into the group with Chapter 14's mission in the hotel being her first (could be retconned later.)

She's a bit hurt with the talk of Aki and Arai not trusting "non-humans" and saying they don't have human rights, so she's quick to become very quiet since she assumed Makima's team of devils and humans meant she was more likely to be accepted.

Himeno can quickly tell that she looks upset and comes over to strike up a conversation, and the two make small talk throughout the mission. She tells her to not mind Aki, that he's just had bad experiences with devils. Ashuta protests that she's not a devil, but a devil makes an appearance before Himeno can respond.

Himeno discusses with Aki later in the mission that she's surprised Ashuta is so conscientious for a vampire- Aki shrugs and believes it's her being deceptive. Himeno goes to suggest he give Ashuta a chance.

CHAPTER 15:

Ashuta does bond a bit with Denji over the mission, both of them asking each other questions about their respective species ("So are you allergic to garlic?" and "Does it hurt when your chainsaws come out?")

CHAPTER 16:

In hopes of winning Aki's approval, Ashuta offers to help Aki hunt for the devil. She explains that since vampires don't really need to sleep much, she could help him all he wants.

Aki, unimpressed, asks why she's so hellbent on trying to please him when he doesn't care about wether she lives or dies as a non-human.

CHAPTER 18:

In the hysteria of facing the eternity devil, Ashuta finally snaps at Kobeni after trying to keep everyone calm the entire mission, telling her she's going to be a shit devil hunter if she freaks out at the slightest inconvenience. Kobeni yells back that it was easy for her to say, that she'd been calm and collected the entire mission because she can't die. Ashuta yells at her that pussying out and turning on her teammates made it more likely for all of them to die, and to shut the fuck up and help if she was going to stay a devil hunter. It certainly doesn't make Kobeni like her, but it shuts her up.

CHAPTER 20:

Ashuta joins the newbie welcome party. Denji questions how she can eat if she's a vampire, and she shrugs and explains that it's the same way devils eat- the only difference is human food isn't of nutritional substance to her and she doesn't retain any energy from it, she eats it for nostalgia purposes and the taste.

Ashuta lightens up when Makima joins the party, glad to see someone familiar- she considers Makima a friend, being the first person who was nice to her.

During the party, Makima asks Aki how Ashuta's first mission was, and wether she had done satisfactory. Aki admits that she did well, and Ashuta can't help but be a little happy at his approval.

As the night progresses, she gets drunk enough where she feels less afraid to approach Aki again. The two actually end up talking some. While drunk, Aki apologizes for the way that he had regarded her earlier in the night, and that she handled her first mission well, remaining composed in such a stressful situation .

Ashuta shrugs, and says it's fine- when she was turned into a vampire, she'd been shunned by everyone she once knew. She explains she still considers herself the same person she was before, but she fears rejection from humans more than she fears injuries from devils. He suggests she come stop by their apartment again sometime (more out of drunken guilt than actual like for her, but it's a start to them becoming friends).

[poohbea]

the time has come. ship. your. moooots!

ayye my tuuurn, didn't think my time would come so soon *dramatic gasp* ─ now unfortunately i couldn't put all my moots but i tried to fit as many of you as possible, mwah enjoy 🤎

@festive ─ kita shinsuke ☆ now even though im not an hq fan, i do pay enough attention to know how much you love kita hahaha

@okhotel ─ toji fushiguro ☆ toji's baby fr, it would be an insult to ship you with anyone else, also toji would murder me if i shared you with someone else... yes he's holding a gun to my head as i type this... yes please send help

@kazuwhora ─ kazutora ☆ how could i not, you're the designated tora blog KC hahaha, anything and everything tora i think of you

@sinssoul ─ aki hayakawa ☆ he's your beloved, you sin are the only thing i associate with him now

@dejwrites ─ shunsui kyoraku ☆ now we all knew i couldn't pair you with anyone other than shunsui, it would be criminal

@satorhime ─ gojo satoru ☆ you're my gojo girl fr, it was either him or maki since that's your girl atm hehe

@sailewhoremoon ─ sasuke uchiha ☆ the one and only man for sosa, other than maybe eddie (mayyybeeee) sasuke is your man period

@heartsfrommars (wifey) ─ me (obviously) ☆ do i even have to explain myself? but if we're being serious then i'd ship you with draken ☆, i just know he'd treat my baby right

@hellavile ─ eren yeager ☆ you're forever the og eren gyal in my eyes, mocha and eren is the otp, the power couple we all need in our lives

@eiflawriting ─ kento nanami ☆ you're nanami's wife, that is who you are to me. oh eilfa? yeah she's nanamin's wifey, oh nanami? yeah that's my girl eifla's hubby, please don't touch

@lawscorazon ─ trafalgar d. water law ☆ your life partnerrrr, who else would i trust with your heart and to beat that coochie right? no one, that's who

@koucaine ─ chrollo lucilfer ☆ i love to see you talk about your mans on discord, we love to see lumi gushing over her mans

@yoshimurah ─ tyki mikk ☆ the undethroneable, number one psycho and owner of that pussy

@maydayaisha ─ draken ☆ it was either him or south but you'll always be draken's black thottie to me and that is where you shall stay

@blueparadis ─ ran haitani �� i just know this ship is bomb, that this is the couple we need in our lives, I JUST KNOW IT

@snake-titan ─ jean kirstein ☆ something about jean that makes me think of you, probably your car dealer fic and i just know jean would treat you like a princess (as he should)

@venusflytrapstar ─ eren yeager ☆ he is how i've come to know you, your bimbo fics with him have made me biased, he's your meanie boyfie

@oxygenstarrved ─ reiner braun ☆ this is your baby, your teddy bear, your one and only, i can only ship him with you fr you really complete each other

@thetempleofnyx ─ kiyoomi sakusa ☆ those curls and those eyes, he's your sweetheart and you are his, a ship i will always support

@m9rcury ─ iwaizumi hajime me ☆ this is your soulmate right here, i wanna see more beach date pics asap. ahem im obviously better than that man, so choose me, love me, run away and rule the galaxy with me

@getoswhore ─ geto suguru ☆ this was a no brainer we know there's only one man for bella and that's sugu

[houndfaker]

currently stopped at 12/2. there’s a lot i wanna talk about. this game makes me feel so incredibly strange. ill leave a very messy ramble under the cut

being past a majority of the significant moments i feel like i can give a pretty lengthy discussion of my feelings

the game does what it says on the tin it’s an hd remake. storyline (at least as of the date i cited) is by and large approximately the same.

the game itself is gorgeous it looks amazing. there is so much clear effort put into every little aspect, of which everyone is already greatly aware

i have highly mixed feelings

things i am enjoying

a nice handful of the link episodes and optional content are feel good and sweet moments that give a better impression of the cast’s relationship, which is always welcome. particular examples im personally really about include shinji’s link episodes and the group study sessions

theurgy moves and how they reflect each characters growth in their second move that unlocks with their ult persona. trismegistus’s theurgy killed me dead.

lots of very welcome qol changes that streamline numerous parts of the original game in a way that feels pretty good. i particularly enjoy the text message function and how it reminds you who’s available which days while also letting you fast travel directly to the link in question, and the net functionality thing that lets me see what others decided to do each day. a ton of helpful stuff for someone really forgetful basically

ive been playing on peaceful because im not good at rpgs (yes i spent $70 on a game from a genre i am notoriously bad at!!!!) so i can’t speak much to a lot of gameplay stuff but im glad tartarus has more to it and has also received qol changes that make it less of a slog to grind (at least in my experience). in general tartarus’s overhaul rules; visually the alternate environments with different corresponding floor layouts are awesome

they let ryoji be bisexual outwardly! kinda pretty much? much like aigis’s “I know you should be with a man” in portable it’s hard not to take “I want to be more than a friend to you” as anything other than explicitly gay. i still have a few more scenes with the guy so it might take a minute before i can be fully confident in this point.

things im not enjoying

the quality of the character writing in a lot of places is either off, irritating, or it flat out feels incorrect in some instances. whether it’s aki dropping the p word as liberally as he does or mitsuru being constantly put forward as intimidating and that’s the whole joke, or the weird new speech quirks aigis has, there are moments you can very much tell the writers are going “how many times can we fit this same unfunny joke or bit across the game”. it feels like a greater chunk of the time that they don’t Know what to do with the characters so they fall back on pushing whichever flagship trait that character is known for and it really hurts the overall enjoyment of the additional content when it feels so…shallow? as a result. not ALL of it is this way but there is a significant enough pattern that it’s genuinely a bother

how little they use the potential of this remake to demonstrate individual character dynamics that aren’t otherwise frequently touched on (i.e say yukari and shinji or aki or like aigis and shinji or fuuka and aki; there’s like a ton of character duos within sees that we just don’t really have a grasp on how they feel about each other). i was especially disappointed at the lack of shinji with other people than the rest of senpai squad or the protag, which is what i was most looking forward to having more of going in. maybe some of what i was hoping for is in tartarus dialogue i didn’t wind up triggering (which there is an insane amount of that id love to pick through once im done) but just based on the episodes i played and the hangouts i did it’s still like man. i wanted to see him being friends with other members yk? they barely took any cues from the portable slink.

BECAUSE the story is written so closely to the original any weird inconsistencies remain the same, although there are a handful of moments where they clarify certain important things that i don’t believe were in the originals. on a similar note whereas they smartened up and made stuff like romance optional and removed that notorious transphobic scene, they’re still not immune to being really fucking weird about age gaps and grooming !!! and of course the sexualization of highschoolers remains ‘Detrimental’ to the storyline 😐

ok i writing this as i am so sleep I am falling asleep with my phone. my primary thoughts for now make of that what you will. god i hate video games

[proxythe]

Hello dear mutual

I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU I ADORE YOUR ART!!! Call me your biggest fan if u dont have one already /hj

Always wanted to interact w you more but!!! Interactions are scary!!! So I'm sticking w liking your art and rb.......

but honestly, you really inspired me, because im a transmasc and well, god gave me two big naturals and honestly, I don't want to chop them off!! so seeing your aki really help me feel way better :')

AGHH I WANTED TO TELL U THAT YEAH HAVE A GOOD DAY

and one last thing.... im really curious abt your hcs on akishinji or akihiko in general... so if you want to spare some..... no pressure though.... okay bye...

hiii ooomf 🙋

thank you sooo much for saying this 😭😭 no one has ever told me theyre my biggest fan before… im really flattered thank you so much!!

i also overthink interactions real bad but if you ever want to message me or anything, you can !! i would seriously love to talk to you !!!

and im also transmasc w a large god given chest and i think ive said probably both these things before but that is also why i like to draw and represent that!!! ill never get tired of showing these bodies thru my art 🫰it makes me really really appreciative and happy when people tell me this .. i am Certain ive said this before… but i never get tired of letting anyone who tells me that i am really grateful to be told that my art helps in any way.. it makes me really happy i could cry

finally…. for my hcs… lemme separate them so the post doesn’t look so cluttered

me hiding an underwhelming amount of hcs under this cut im so sorry oomf im really bad with headcanons for some reason but let me try to think if i have any lmfao

- i think them (literally) sleeping together is a big hc for them in general but that’s probably my favorite akishinji hc of All Time … it can do no wrong… its perfect…

- (more likely fits post canon/shinji living route) shinji being clingy asf is also one of my faves idk i think there’s just something in seeing him happy and shameless for once in his shit life 😭 getting hugs and physical contact he used to not think he deserves … i eat it up …

- aki being a cat person i think is a hc … it mostly came to me from pq when hes being so dramatic about koromaru licking him … he loves koro yes but i believe he is a cat person at heart … shinji is generally an animal lover but he’s also just a dog person

- p4au debunks this with that god awful design but i’ve always believed it: aki’s wardrobe is immaculate. guy is always dressed in some nice ass clothes and perfect style. ignoring p4au i also think aki would dress nice even in timeskip

- this is also popular methinks but them taking in ken and koromaru time skip is another that i basically just treat like its canon lmfaoo this one also is just perfect… does no wrong… amazing …

erm i think that’s all i can think of rn bc for some reason when someone asks me to specifically name hcs i kinda sorta forget every single one that’s ever entered my mind whether ive drawn it or even spoken it aloud … am i stupid ?

[lesbianmaxevans]

no but like the writers were SO careless with the throuple???? like the s1 finale had aki and audrey going thru all of that to show max how much he meant to them, and given their persistence in making their case that the three of them should try this, I was expecting s2 to like actually let us see them navigate this new dynamic. show us the domesticity, the fluff, and yes of course the challenges as well, but give us some fun! but we didn’t get that!

the writers only cared about what drama they could wring out of the dynamic. suddenly they can’t communicate at all and are constantly withholding their feelings from each other -- aki and audrey sabotaging max’s attempts to go public instead of telling him that it’s scary to be out; aki being nervous about bottoming (pls don’t get me started on how much I hate that the show was obsessed w the trio’s sex life........ I do not have the time for that on this post) and going to another student for tips, instead of being upfront w his partners; audrey assuming aki and max are going to abandon her and causing that whole scene before admitting her fears instead of just admitting how her issues with her parents are causing insecurity in their rship.

and then in episode 8 -- EPISODE 8 OF 10!!!! -- these writers decided to have audrey and max completely ignore aki’s film festival bc they were too busy with this stupid feud with julien. and then when aki is lamenting about feeling ignored, ingrid kissed him -- WHICH WHY THE HELL IS EVERYONE ON THE SHOW CALLING THAT CHEATING???? AKI DID NOT INITIATE AND HAD NO INTEREST IN INGRID MY GOD!! THAT’S NOT CHEATING!!!

but anyway aki is rightfully upset over the way audrey and max minimized this event for him and the narrative focuses on the fucking “cheating” aspect????? aki is never allowed to vocalize this feeling of being dismissed and sidelined??? and like my god the way these last three episodes made audrey look so bad, like her decision when learning about aki’s “indiscretion” is that she and aki should hide it from max?????? LIKE HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING FROM YOUR RELATIONSHIP WOES SO FAR??????

and all the stress about saying “I love you” was dumb bc -- AGAIN!! -- after everything aki and audrey did in 1x12, idg why they are having these issues. like yeah being startled by the abruptness is fair, but other than that it felt utterly nonsensical.

and then when max hears about aki cheating and audrey knowing and gets mad at them for always being a team and him being solo, he’s so right!!! like we even see it w the premiere w the two of them talking about stopping max’s plan for going public, like aki and audrey are constantly consulting each other w/o max’s input and it’s! so! shitty!

and like......... it’s just so fucked up that the season 2 finale’s thesis was literally the exact opposite of the season 1 finale thesis. in s1, aki and audrey were adamant that they don’t work as a couple anymore and their feelings for max are so strong and important to them. the season 2 thesis is that aki and audrey are an inseparable unit. like????????? aki and audrey were literally the ones that proposed “all for all or none for none” and then when max takes that seriously, aki and audrey are like “lol nah we still wanna be together”

like I do believe joshua when he says the throuple was meant to be endgame but with this utterly careless handling, it truly does not feel like it was worth it for the writers to go there at all. like god we got NOTHING in terms of them being domestic and having fun bc it was just nonstop drama and that’s when we actually got content of the three of them together.

also wow im sorry I hope this was coherent, I took medicine to soothe my very sore throat and it kicked in like halfway thru typing this up I feel v drowsy and my limbs are heavy I need to lie down bye

[torawro]

ship your moots pls <33

also happy birthday!!! <333

AHHH OKAY ITS MY TURNNNN?!? and thank you nonnie for the bday wish ily❤️ @shoutaswhore also asked me this so ima just answer two in one go

@dejwrites hmmmmmm aki or shunsui are top two but idk if i can decide which one . maybe aki 🫣 bc i have this personal hc about him that he knows how to ride motorcycles and he takes you on late night rides on his bike all the time bc it’s so soothing and he’ll never admit it but he loves when you cling to him like that. and as for shunsui well, basically what i said in the fic i wrote for him: he just wants to take care of you😭

@hellavile eren. ren. mr. yeager. no further explanation needed bc i know , and y’all look so good together based off all the moodboards and avatars ive seen you make w him in mind <3

@yourlovermori UMMMM izuku. and yes i say this bc ive read your fics and drabbles about him they’re so good and get me going 😩 i see u in those scenarios

@shirohyorin TOSHIRO HITSUGAYA. THE ICEY MAN, THE DRIPPEST LEGEND HIMSELF, THEE CAPTAIN OF THE TENTH DIVISION. again no explanation is required ! ur url and our lovely chats in your server are proof in itself

@divilyn dottore 😩 another that doesn’t need to be explained 🫣 you’ve made me simp for him in unhealthy ways that shouldn’t be discussed in public but i just loveeee the way you write him !! i can only see u with him

@eiflawriting i just…i get classy high end vibes from you so i MUST pair you w nanamin 🤞🏾i can see him taking you out for dinner to all these diff places and tryin new foods and experiencing life w him and then coming back to a bubble bath in dimly lit bathroom, w good movie and some bomb nasty ass sex and marry even a marriage proposal right after ;) he’d have it all planned out

@obitohno UM OBITO DUH! or maybe kakashi or naruto but IM LEANING TOWARDS BITO for obvious reasons ;)) he’d be so sweet to you Omg the best himbo husband / boyfriend everrrr always showerin you with love <3

@blueparadis wakasa. THEE imaushi wakasa. no i won’t elaborate except ill say that the way you write for him??? no im obsessed.

( edit ) @shoutaswhore im conflicted between aizawa or katsuki 🤔 hmmmm i think both would be good fits for you! katsuki would resonate with your chaotic evil disposition and like match your wavelength almost but in the opposite way ? idk if that makes sense but he would act like he’d be annoyed by you but really there’s nowhere he’d rather be than by your side <3 aizawa is the same , except he’d like satisfy some part of your inner child and really take care of you, im talking cooking for you, protecting you from harm and malicious people all of it ; he’ll make you feel so safe :)))

[easy-revenge]

Hii

So many people are calling Himeno a groomer and pedophile. What are your thoughts?

hellooo

oof.

ive seen the hate and slander for himeno on all platforms first hand. let me get some things out of the way first:

i do not defend himeno, nor her actions regarding denji. there is no defending that. it is what it is.

i can speak more on what ppl target her for though, bc i think its interesting.

(DISCLAIMER: opinions, in this case mine. no one has to agree with me. i have a lot to say but if you're not willing to listen and don't care about my pov, kindly move past this post. thank u)

the vast majority of ppl hating her that ive seen and/or interacted with online always find a way to get aki involved into the conversation. that's bullshit and i wanna speak on it before i touch on anything else.

aki is around 22 years old.

there is a tiktok here from one of my fav creators breaking that one down since a lot of ppl misread his introduction scene and thought he was 19:

with that said and done, there is nothing weird about aki and himeno whatsoever (ive seen ppl hate her for getting him into smoking which, ig fair, but lets be real for a sec and realize that even not knowing the spoilers, its pretty safe to assume that lung cancer is not what's gonna take them out). aki was around 19 when they met, which makes him a minor, but there was no hints whatsoever about himeno liking him until later on.

she didn't "watch him grow up" or "groom" him. she is in love with him in the present, when they are both of age. she knows aki has feelings for makima and doesn't cross any boundaries as we see both her and aki are comfortable being close with each other and initiating contact.

with the aki bullshit done, let's go back to the real thing: denji.

again, what himeno did to denji is inexcusable. there is no way around it. the fact that she was drunk doesn't serve as an excuse bc she still very much is the adult in the room and should've been more responsible.

i want to however talk about the terminology.

groomer.

a groomer is someone who builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them.

^ this is copy pasted from a dictionary. ring a bell? yes, that's literally makima.

himeno on the other hand did none of those things to denji. her offering him a kiss was more of a joke than anything else (plus she didn't know he was 16 back then) and she never had an ulterior motive for getting close to him.

im actually fairly certain that ppl call her a groomer more regarding aki than denji bc aki is the one she's known for a longer time and has had an effect on. i won't go back into this. utter bullshit. aki is not a child and himeno is not manipulating him. next.

the pedophile allegation is a bit of a rougher one to talk about. himeno initiated this playful flirting with denji at the start of the eternity devil arc, not knowing his age. she said explicitly right after that she "loves teasing boys" which implies that it was more a joke than anything else and considering that we proceed to get numerous flashbacks that let us know how deep her relationship with aki is and how genuine her feelings for him are, we can safely assume she does not give a fuck about denji.

the actual act that brought on the "pedophile" term happens when she is drunk. this, again, does not excuse her but i think can speak volumes about her state of mind. we know she gets extra flirty when she drinks and by the time the kiss happens she's tried to outdrink makima which means she's literally hammered. she is also drunk, significantly less but still, when she finds out denji's age. we know she is present enough for that info bc she remembers it the next morning when she brings it up, but again i dont think processing and comprehending information works just as well when you're half a dozen draft beers in. i dont have something more solid to say about this besides: she was really drunk and made some really bad choices bc she is irresponsible, flawed and generally messy as a person.

i dont feel comfortable calling her a pedophile. it doesn't ring that true to me. i dont think she is genuinely attracted to denji or would want to have sex with him while sober.

she knows it was wrong the next morning and she brings it up. that also shows that sober and with a clear mind she doesn't feel the same way.

the act itself is still horrible and inexcusable, but i think her thought process matters when it comes to assigning terms to her.

at the end of the day, i cant fight the ppl who do call her a pedophile. she did in fact attempt to have a sexual encounter with a minor. end of story. i mostly went into depth about this to talk about the aki thing bc it keeps popping up.

as for me, i choose to not erase her entire character over that one scene and reduce her to what ppl see her as. her arc is very well-written. SHE is very well-written. i keep recycling my words from my other posts but i think she is a perfect reflection of the universe she is in. we know she drinks and numbs everything out. we know the kind of dependency she has when it comes to aki and how it can cloud her judgment. she is very messy as i said and fundamentally flawed. but i loved seeing a broken character.

in a series like csm where denji can get cut in half and get back up to fight, its important for me to have characters like her to make u rly feel the impact of living in a world like this.

also the easy revenge storyline was dope as shit.

that's all about my thoughts on this, ive beem wanting to articulate them for a while, thank u for giving me the chance !!

[salaciousdoll]

MISS AISHA LEMME TELL U SUM 🛋👩🏽‍🏫 it’s time i put you on rq and tell you all about my man, and why you should love him too…..

INTRODUCCCINNGG… KISHIBE FROM CHAINSAW MAN

he’s a special division captain for the public safety who kill devils that are in the city. he’s a grouchy old man tho cuz he’s basically a veteran when it comes to killing devils— BUT even tho he is an alcoholic and seems all nonchalant n cool, he’s actually just emotionally damaged for doing this for years now 😞 and i just love me a man who’s broken cuz i strongly believe what i got between my legs, will help fix everything hehehe

PLUS HIS VA WAS REVEALED TO BE THE VA OF NANAMI FROM JJK AND IM ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE WITH THAT MAN 💕 so that’s also the reason why i love him with everything i have, n i just wanna take care of him. kishibe and nanami are LITERALLY the same person to me, and the whore in me just knows both of them are service doms n brat tamers <333 ALSOOOO

THIS IS WHAT HE LOOKED LIKE WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER 😩😩😩😩 PLEASE TELL ME YOU CAN SEE MY VISION ON HIM AND ENJOYED MY TED TALK

I see the vision but he isn’t my cup of tea, right now and that can change😭 Aki is for some odd reason, but don’t worry when I finally get to watch and read chainsaw then my opinion may change babes.

Yes, yes, I did enjoy your red talk though, it was wonderful. I love it when you all talk about your favs or man’s period

[linabirb]

👀👀👀 For the bingo, I'd like to hear your thoughts on Aki (csm just to be safe because its quite a common name haha), Makima, Isagi, Kaiser, Reo, and Mikoto.

.. OH BOY I HOPE YOU'RE READY TO HEAR SOME OF THE WORST TAKES EVER

.. i'm going to be honest. I GENUINELY FORGET AKI EXISTS SOMETIMES. like my brain just goes "uhhh remember denji and power's big bro" and im like "OH". if you remember my akutagawa bingo, i think you can see a pattern which can only be described as "i am so sorry but i just cannot make myself care about brooding dark-haired anime boys" 😭😭 (dan heng from hsr is one of the few exceptions) idk i really do think his story was sad but i'm also kinda like. i was too focused on other things when i read and watched csm JSKDSLASLSL. "what things" well.. let's talk about the next character on our list.

feel free to shoot me or stab me for this. but yes, THIS WOMAN IS ACTUALLY MY FAV CSM CHARACTER 😭 (along with kobeni and asa) i just love evil women! and i love well-written evil women! and i have so much to say about her. i genuinely love the way she was written and she's a very realistic character, but i am not a fan of how the csm fandom just. doesn't care about her character at all and cares only about her crimes and i'm not even talking about her basically destroying the whole world and killing SO MANY PEOPLE, i'm talking about her relationship with denji. which is, OF COURSE, bad and extremely toxic and unhealthy, especially considering that denji is a minor. however, i think seeing that as her only "personality trait" is so.. it just doesn't sit right with me. like i would be okay with people talking about everything she's done and analyzing it and going "yeah she's still a bad person even if she's well-written and deep" but i am NOT okay with people going "yeah she's a groomer and also she killed my faves :(" like. i don't know. if you don't want to interact with such "problematic" content just don't read it? though i'm gonna be honest i'm pretty sure most csm fans are very young and from what i heard, a lot of them haven't even read/watched any "dark" content before csm. me picking "they are innocent if u ignore their various crimes" is obv a joke, i definitely agree that makima is a terrible person, but also. i can't deny that she's pretty <3 and also the fact that she just needed a hug breaks my heart every time i think about it. i actually have a plushie of her too! one of the best purchases i've ever made, she stares at me with her big ol' yellow eyes and i do everything she says. thank you for motivating me to do my hw, queen.

but enough talking about my faves. honestly.. i don't really care about isagi? which actually makes me very sad bc i found him very relatable at first but then i kinda got bored? like i can't even describe his personality, i can only say "uhhh he's friendly with other guys unless he's playing football and also. uh. he likes football"? and ig that can also be very fun and i'm usually a huge fan of characters that usually act nice but also have a very rude and mean side, but isagi is just. idk, i don't really find him that interesting and those moments when he's like, busy analyzing everything and coming up with strategies.. honestly, i just skipped them JSDKSLSLS. I WANTED MORE ACTION OKAY. i think his relationship with bachira is cute though!

BACK TO MY FAVES. i would bite kaiser's head off if i ever got the chance but he's also one of my fav characters. yeah. he's so cool, i love his design sm, i need to look like him. i want to get into his head and figure out what's wrong with him. i want to squeeze him and crush him and tear him apart, but i also love him so much. tbh i don't know anything about the new chapters, but i'd love to learn more about him, it's like, at the same time, i want him to have a backstory that's a little bit (or maybe VERY) sad, but i also kinda want him to be like that just bc he can (even though i'm pretty sure it was implied that he does have a reason for acting like that). and yes, i love his relationship dynamic with ness. yeah.

reo. another fave of mine. though i actually didn't like him that much when i first saw him, but. i knew deep down that a purple boy will become one of my faves. love this gay disaster of a man, everything that happened between him and nagi was more entertaining than every single romance movie that i've ever watched. i want him to get better and realize that he's capable of doing great things without him. i also want him to become even more dependent on him for angst reasons. it's hard. and i honestly both love and hate that moment when he decides to return to nagi right after he finally started to get some character development, because YES I WANT HIM TO GROW AND I WANT HIS PERSONALITY TO BE SOMETHING OTHER THAN "if i spend at least one day w/o nagi i will die", but also it's very realistic and as someone who was in MULTIPLE (platonic) relationships that were exactly like his relationship with nagi.. that moment was very painful. in a good way. and again, i wanna look like him.

my relationship with mikoto is very hard to explain bc it's like. in theory, i'd love to learn more about him. i'd love to stan him. but also.. i'm not a fan of how the fandom pretty much makes his DID his only personality trait? maybe i'm just on the wrong side of the fandom, but i rarely see any posts about his other traits? again, i'd love to learn more bc i have a feeling that we have a lot in common, but. but yeah. i'm a huge fan of his minigram version though <3 so silly. so squishy. so funny. (honestly, me being salty that almost all convos about mikoto usually discuss his DID is so funny to me now that after three therapy sessions i've found out that i'm most likely a system SJHSJDKDLSL like bro THAT IS YOU) about "i would push them down the stairs" i mean it in a silly playful way :) like i want him to fall down and scream in a very cartoony and funny way.