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#and yes midlife crisis not quarter life crisis because im not living much longer bc if i feel this way in my 20s i wont make it to
apathyfairy · 2 years
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age 0-18 is like i need to be older than i am now. i need to grow up so i can finally live my life. and age 19-21 is like ok i’m finally an adult but i don’t feel like it at all lol so..what am i supposed to do with my life ? and 22 and beyond is just feeling so old like you wasted your entire life and can’t relate to anyone and there’s nothing you can do about it at all
#i know im straight up wasting my life whatever that means and i literally cant remember the last 7 years because i did nothing#everything feels too late to start and i just feel like an idiot i feel like a literal baby whos never done anything ever before in the body#of like a 40 year old mother i have absolutely no concept of who i am or what is going on and i literally feel so old i want to kill myself#literally i see people my age and by see people i mean watch youtubers and im like ok theyre still young and then i think about myself and#im like lmao u are so old and u have no idea what is going on like i cant take much more of this. i think it's mostly because i spent my#whole life trying to be older because i was just never the right age for anything i always needed to be older for everything#and now i am and i missed my opportunities for everything i wanted to do and now im realizing i never took advantage of being young#and whatever midlife crisis i know but i just feel so out of it lately like im not even here and i just wasted my whole life and that's that#and yes midlife crisis not quarter life crisis because im not living much longer bc if i feel this way in my 20s i wont make it to#my late 30s#i just ! feel like i missed the part of my life where i do something good and can feel stable and like ok. ive lived some life and done this#and this and this and it's like no i havent. ive just been waiting for something to happen that's never going to happen and i dont even know#what the something i would be waiting for is but ive been waiting and nothing happens unless you do it yourself and i just waited too#long to figure that out and now im just a failure through and through#literally just dead weight floating around the universe
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