#annoying cheerios commercials

[cryptid-bird]

I am so annoyed that when people say "save the bees" they think it's about honeybees, not native bees. Honeybees don't need help, and they also compete with native pollinators.

They are producing plenty of honey for commercial use, so I assume that they aren't facing any sort of population issue. Also, it's strange how many American beekeepers think they are helping the environment by raising honeybees, which are not native to the US.

I bet the honey industry loves that people think that honeybees need to be saved. If they needed to be saved so badly, then you wouldn't be able to get honey nut cheerios so easily. Buying honey does not save the bees.

I know a lot of people will say "well they are not native, but they aren't harmful!" There was a study done that showed that when honeybees are introduced for commercial purposes, they actually cause the population of other pollinators to decline.

Plant native plants in your yard to save the bees. The native bees like native plants. Non-native plants often dominate US urban areas. The increasing urbanization is not good for the bees.

Also, there are probably more native species of bee in your area than you realize!

[yuzukult]

—saccharine

pairing: seokjin x reader word count: 2,319 prompt: seokjin doesn’t believe in love at first sight. so... what’s this feeling that’s churning in the pit of his stomach when he meets you for the first time? warnings: none. minor cursing. fluff attack. a/n: to celebrate my follower milestone! thank you all for supporting and reading my fics, it means a lot to me!

Everyday is a continuous, recurring cycle. 

First, the alarm rings. Then, he slams the snooze button on his phone before resuming into a light sleep for another eight minutes. The annoying horn sings again, and a wash of regret hits from never changing it out of the default, so he finally accepts this by getting up and sliding his feet lazily into a pair of slippers by the side of his bed before making way into the bathroom.

His hair is a mess. But it’s a mess everyday. Life has gone to the point that even brushing his teeth has become a dreadful chore. Shuffling through his bin of hair products, he finds the mousse he consistently loses and finds on repeat and then slaps a boatload of it onto his head.

This is basically a day-in-the-life of Kim Seokjin. Except it’s everyday. It’s never ending. It feels like one of those time loop movies where when he ends his day, it starts back off exactly like it did yesterday. 

To be fair, he can’t complain. He’s got a roof over his head, an apartment all to himself (that means without a roommate), plus a well-paying full time job. It’s hard to whine and cry about how his life seems to have no excitement, other than the occasional meeting with his friends, but contrarily… there’s not much to look forward to.

It’s the same mundane activities. Opening the cabinet above his kitchen counter as he usually does at this time, he grabs his favorite Cheerios. Good starts with happy hearts, as their commercials say, but Seokjin isn’t entirely sure that’s true. 

He’s a “cereal first and milk last” kind of guy. Not that he judges those who do it backwards, but he thinks if anyone does the routine in the opposite order, they might actually be backwards. It’s a condition—he makes it seem, and it’s a rather controversial topic for the guy.

Nonetheless, he enjoys his bowl of breakfast goods. He reads the news on his phone, and when the reminder on his watch dings, Seokjin rushes to put his dishes into the sink and hauls himself down the hall, in direction to his walk-in-closet that evidently is just too big for it being only himself. It’s a constant indication that he’s alone. 

By the time it’s 8:30AM, he’s dressed in his suit and tie, hair slicked back, and has a satchel slung over his shoulder in preparation of yet another day at the office.

But maybe he’d stop by that new place this morning. Change of pace. Maybe it’ll liven up his day and give him something to look forward to. Maybe he’d like it.

The place is around the corner, less than a three minute walk the moment he leaves his apartment building, and if he timed himself, it probably takes longer to leave his home and out of the building. The shop is cute; decor stickers are laid out delicately along the windows, the walls are painted a pretty blush pink, and there’s smiles on all the workers’ faces as if they enjoyed being there.

There’s a smile on your face in particular that captures his attention.

Seokjin is a relatively kind guy, or so he thinks he is. He’s never pinned over girls like those shows he’s seen on TV, but he’s had his fair share of relationships. He’s not shy, but he’s also not outgoing. He has an abundance of friends but only a few are ones he trusts. 

And the girlfriends he had were great but… no one really appreciates his generosity as much as he’d like.

He thinks he’s crazy at this moment, quite frankly, because he doesn’t believe in love at first sight. It’s this theory and idea that writers of a romance genre film and story that people whipped up together to make it seem more appealing to their audiences. But he doesn’t actually think it’s true.

Or is it?

Hair up in a messy bun, there’s a swipe of flour that coats your one cheek, and a smile that dresses your face so beautifully. You’re in a simple outfit that’s a combination of a white tee and blue jeans with the shop’s apron on top, while running around to keep up with all the orders coming through. He has hearts brimming in his pupils and he can’t seem to stop the way his chest tightens the second he lays his eyes on you. Is this what love at first sight is?

Seokjin doesn’t only regret not changing the default ringtone of his alarm this morning. He also regrets not asking for your number.

When he reaches his office, he realizes he forgets to ask for cream and sugar at the bakery. The dark, warm liquid glides down his throat with some difficulty; the bitterness layering his tongue but the memory of you sparks sweetness from within. Who were you? He doesn’t even know you and you’re on his mind like crazy.

Now, Seokjin has seen How I Met Your Mother. He’s watched the nine seasons, totaling out to two-hundred and eight episodes, so needless to say, Seokjin knows what goes on in that show. And ironically, he hates Ted. The guy is a hopeless romantic that thinks every girl he has his eyes on is ‘the one.’ Seokjin refuses to become like Ted, and he would be caught dead replicating those same actions.

Then why the fuck is he caught up on a girl he’s seen once? 

The second time Seokjin comes by the bakery, it’s a hell of a lot less busy. In fact, it’s only three people that man the storefront, rather than the six that he saw the first time he stopped by. He has his fingers crossed behind his back as he waits in the queue patiently, hoping you’d be the one taking his order this time around.

Luck must be on his side because you’re greeting him with those pearly white teeth. “Good morning, nice to see you. What can I get for you today?”

Abort, abort! He can’t talk. He swears that his heart has found its way up into his throat, and he can’t get any words to come out.

You blink. Those gorgeous long lashes brush your cheeks so deftly, and it swells his heart that’s now lodged in the path of his airways. “Sir?”

Seokjin swallows. “Oh—yeah, sorry sorry. Uh, can I get a medium hot coffee? Cream and sugar, please. Forgot to mention that last time and I almost died from the bitterness.” Was that an appropriate comment to make? Did it make you laugh? Or were you offended that he just insulted your workplace’s coffee

He cheers in success on the inside when a soft chuckle escapes from your lips. “Aw, I’m sorry to hear. I guess we should have also done our part and asked if you wanted any. Did you want to order anything else?”

Ah. Was the conversation already ending? But it’s so soon! He barely held the dialogue for a couple seconds, and since he’s got your attention, he can’t let go now. Quickly, his eyes skim the menu and the display case full of baked goods. “Uh, what do you recommend?” He asks, gesturing to the sweets. 

You wave your hand for another coworker to take the next customer’s order. Walking over to the sweets, Seokjin trails over as well, observing your expression. You’ve got your brows furrowed, deep in thought with a quirk of the side of your lips, engrossed with the plentiful of options. “Do you like tarts?”

—

Seokjin is a regular now. 

Whenever the clock strikes 7:30AM, he’s already in his work attire, hair at its best, and has checked his face in the mirror for the fiftieth time. Then, he’s on route to the corner bakery.

He wants to look good before he meets you. Handsome guy for a pretty girl. It’s only right.

The bells at the front door of the shop ring loudly the moment he enters in, and immediately his ears are filled with that beautiful laugh of yours, but you’re not alone. It’s accompanied by someone else’s, a voice that doesn’t match any of your other coworkers and his jaw clenches at the thought. Who is this male that claims to be the purpose of your giggling with a mop he calls hair on the top of his head?

“Oh!” You beam, lifting up the cup of hot coffee in hand. “Seokjin! Come here, I have a new pastry for you to try, and your daily caffeinated beverage to pair it with. Plus, I want you to meet my friend.”

His name is Taehyung. The freaking guy looks like a model, strutting into the café like it’s his runway, and when his gaze meets Seokjin’s, it makes Seokjin feel small.

Seokjin likes you, if the amount of times he comes in a week is evidence for it. He doesn’t just do that either; he often stirs up a conversation, asks how your day is going so far, and even goes out of his way to remember small details so he can bring it up next time. But he can’t help but wonder—do you have a boyfriend? Are you being kind only because Seokjin is a customer? Or are you normally this sweet as those raspberry filled pastries you set him up with? 

And those questions are only emphasized when Taehyung smiles, extends his hands and offers Seokjin a firm shake. “I’m Taehyung.”

Seokjin’s entire work day has gone to shit. All he could think about was who Taehyung was and why you were so adamant about Seokjin meeting him. 

After taking the last bite of the delicious pastry you packed for him (free of charge, too), it hits him. 

If Seokjin liked you, he should just confess his feelings, no matter what the consequences. Instead of sitting here with his shoulders slouched, eating this treat you gave him with a pout upon his lips, he shouldn’t continue waiting around and feeling sorry for himself anymore. Why would he make himself suffer like this when there’s a way to end this vicious cycle? 

Seokjin concludes that he’s going to confess tonight. 

—

What Seokjin learns about you is that you are by far not close to his ideal dream girl. 

You’re the “milk first, cereal last” gal, and he believes you’re ass backwards. You like consistency, and your favorite ringtone is the sound of those stupid horns he has for alarms in the morning. You enjoy the first few hours of your day, basking in the routine that you’ve put together yourself, including the one that had recently involved seeing Seokjin’s face. 

And although you’re not his dream girl, you’ve become it.

“I like you,” He finally confesses, a bouquet of flowers in his hands that match the decor stickers plastered on the shop's windows. “Would you… go out with me?”

Seokjin isn’t here in the mornings like he normally is, opting that since this is definitely a change of pace, he might as well go all out. Maybe this will be different. Maybe he’ll be happier.

Stunned, your mouth drops open. You’re stuttering over your own words, practically malfunctioning like a machine. “Wha—Like—what? Like… you like me as in like… a woman? More than a friend? You want to take me out?”

“Uh,” Seokjin scratches behind his ear anxiously. Was his plan backfiring? “Yes? I… like you. As in, I come here in the mornings for coffee, yeah, but I mostly came to see you. I enjoy hearing your laugh, seeing your smiles, and listening to you talk about these pastries like they’re your world and I—“ He pauses, inhaling a sharp breath, “—then you introduced me to this really good looking guy named Taehyung and I didn’t know what my chances were with you anymore, so here I am. Confessing.”

You’re silent. Truthfully, Seokjin’s not feeling good about this. His palms are sweaty, his heart is racing, and you still haven’t said a word and he’s sure that over thirty seconds have already passed by.

“What—“ You start again, quickly stopping yourself with a shake of your head. “Thank god, really.”

The front of Seokjin’s brows dip in confusion. “I’m sorry?”

You laugh, combing your fingers through your loosened locks. “I’ve been trying to tell my coworkers that I had this stupid crush on you since you first came in. You’re such a great listener, you’re handsome, and fun to talk to. They think you’re too good to be true, so they thought you wanted to be my gay best friend. Hence… the Taehyung test.”

“The Taehyung test?” Seokjin reiterates. 

Chewing on your bottom lip, your eyes are swirls of apologies. “He’s cute, right? Either you’d get jealous that a guy like him has my attention and you like me, or you like him and you’re jealous that he’s making me laugh instead of you.”

Seokjin’s shoulders drop in relief. “So… does that mean you’ll go out with me?”

You smile softly. “Of course, Jin.”

He doesn’t think those mundane activities he identified before are boring anymore. No, not with you, they’re not. He doesn’t mind watching you pour milk instead of cereal first in the mornings because he’s glad he gets to be the one who pinches your side teasingly and call you a weirdo. He doesn’t hate the sound of the horns—okay, a lie, he hates it so much, but they’re bearable when you’re around since you don’t hesitate to shut it off the minute it rings, and immediately hop out the bed, without using the snooze button. Brushing his teeth is a delight, especially when he sees your toothbrush sitting in your own designated cup on your side of the sink.

Everyday is a continuous, recurring cycle. 

But Seokjin doesn’t mind those things if it’s done with you. 

[derekmorganscrocs]

My Thoughts While Watching 2x4 Nancy Drew! MILD SPOLIER ALERT!!

I got a little carried away, so this is kinda long, but funny. Just a heads up lol.

I love Ace’s shirt in the beginning scene he looks adorable.

Ace already wrote his obituary?! VINTAGE AUTOMOBILE ENTHUSIAST?! I LOVE HIM.

AW ACE BROUGHT MR D COFFEE? HES CHECKING IN ON HIM IM CRYING.

“Classified.” 😐

STOP WHY IS RYAN SO SALTY ABOUT ACE NOT BUYING HIM A COFFEE

OMG THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING. Ace as a mediator I love. Nancy’s a chicken now?

RYAN IS SO SALTY “you would say that, wouldn’t you.”

THE COFFEE AGAIN. ACE GIVING HIM HIS COFFEE STOP.

CA-RY-ACE THE NEW LOVE TRIANGLE.

Bess and Lisbeth are so sweet

I relate to george yeeting her sister into the business. Not the death part but still-

“Stop yelling at me” sir she is not yelling.

PERIODT NANCY GO OFF QUEEN. And they got applause.

Me waiting for the aglacea to just pardon their betrayal because nancy is standing for her: 👁👄👁

PLS NANCY X AGLACEA FRIENDSHIP

dude these commercials are so annoying-

OHH ACE I see you’re an ~art boy~ He’s subtweeting them irl- OH THEY KNOW

Ryan only caring about nancy??? Saltily???

Carson now you’re just being an ass.

OH KAY SUGAR DADDY RYANNNN

Nancy and Bess moment that’s so sweet.

SALT AND BURN SALT AND BURN- sorry the winchesters just possessed my body for a sec. they rly just saw her necklace AND DIDNT SALT AND BURN, COME ON

ok that was really funny lmao Nancy scaring Bess sent me.

FREAKY BASEMENT

AH NOT THE SLAMMING DOOR RUN BITCHES RUN

NANCYS FACE

Michael Bublés buble commercial always sends me

So Marvin is a murderer. ANOTHER GHOST?

Nancy’s fan club lmao

Nancy and Bess being the sleuth sisters I love

Awe George and Jessie :(

GHOST GOGGLES??? SMART NICK STOP I LOVE NICK. NICK NICK NICK SMILE AW HES SO SAD SHHSKALA I CANT HANDLE THIS

RYAN IS SO SALTY I LOVE HIM

Carson stop being so aggressive

RYAN COMING THRU WITH THE ROASTS

Why is she going alone. Never go in basements alone.

This green is serving me major buzzfeed unsolved.

Torture chamber basement??? Marvin is a murderer, guaranteed. The basement is freaky and not in the good way.

IS RYAN ABOUT TO CRY RIGHT NOW? NO HES SO SWEET “wh-What would I say to her?” I CANT. (I definitely forgot he was lowkey a predator when I was writing this) Fatherly Ryan. Why does this scene look like really dream-like? MUSICIAN RYAN? “I’m right? I just solved something before nancy Drew!” HE LOOKS SO PROUD OF HIMSELF. The way he knows something is off bc she’s being decent.

THE CHURCH IS TERRIFYING I DO NOT LIKE THE SONG ITS FREAKIN ME OUT

SALT AND BURN SALT AND BURN SALT AND BURN SALT AND BURN

I really want the aglacea to forgive them, I rly just-

Periodt Agnes is a badass bitch. I love her.

Sister thinks the kfc burger looks like a yellow brain.

WHY?? ARE PERFUME COMMERCIALS??? SO DRAMATIC???

Yo why does Cheerios have a lil uzi song?

THATS SUCH A PRETTY DINNER TABLE!! BESS PLS SHOW UP BESS PLS.

GEORGE DON’T CRY. Stop George finally breaking. Her face when nick said it- NICK IS SO SWEET. “YOU NEED TO KNOW YOURE LOVED” YES SIR I DO PLS TELL ME U LOVE ME. OK I ACC SHIP GEORGE AND NICK NOW. NO POOR NICK. AND HES NOT LOOKING TO HEAR IT BACK. they’re sweet. Aw the way her voice gets all soft “that’s not helping” and you can just hear her smile-

It’s like midnight, why is ted at school-

SISTER MOMENT I LOVE. WHY IS GEORGE LITERALLY RAISING HER SISTERS, DEAN WINCHESTER TYPE BEAT- OW NOT JESSIE RUINING THE MOMENT WITH AN OCTOPUS AND SEEING THRU GEORGES LIE.

DID ACE WRITE A LETTER TO HIS DAD??

BESS CHICKENED OUT? IM HEARTBROKEN SHES SO SWEET.

NO NOT ACE LEAVING HIS DAD A LETTER BITCH I WILL CRY. I AM AN HOE FOR ACE AND ALSO I THINK HE IS BABY AND I AM SO EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED IM NOT OK.

IF ACES DAD HAS TO GO THRU THE PAIN OF LOSING ACE I WILL SUE I LOVE ACE’s DAD.

WAIT- There’s aluminum in deodorant? (Commercial)

This is gonna go so badly. Something will go badly. SOMETHING IS WRONG. STOP ITS SO UGLY- ODETTE STOP SCREAMING SHES TRYNA HELP.

WTF

DID THEY JUST KILL A GHOST?

“Good thing this wasn’t a rental.”

Oh they only hurt her.

Some advice: don’t watch during the day bc the lighting is so dark and it’s really hard to see lmao

My sister’s thoughts:

“This is why you salt and burn things.”

“WHY WOULD SHE GO INN THE BASEMENT ALONE”

“I BET MARVIN IS A MUDERER”

“OH SHIT. She’s still crunchy.”

[misterbitches]

lahe's DUMB AS HELL lmao whole time i was distracted by how annoying i find him and i think there's overstating he and the chemistry with aaron/the char. mostly because we got to see JYZ in a natural habitat which would be nice if we got more of that with shi lei. there's a lot of issues here but the show was not bad. however

a) they clearly filmed this before so why did the edit come out like this. what were their limitations etc but i don't feel like thinking about that

b) i'm left COLD knowing that he's gonna LEAVE and so i dont GIVE A SHIT about their chemistry which exists and is reinforced and if the story was better constructed it could have been (and should have been) interspersed but i do think it's an exaggeration about the two of them like it's two big men and? yall never seen ppl kiss before? they just look like two hot guys kissing who have a connection but it's literally broken and this dude is an idiot so it's like watching a commercial like ok theyre cute. theyre together so what bitch this isnt a cheerios commercial!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the resentment i feel. he didn't apologize and he used trickery and shi lei agreed. this is my fiercely independent side but also the side where it's like....you become vulnerable for someone and they have ZERO regards for your feelings. it's the fact that he cannot say sorry that hurts and imo it gives no closure because he just emphasizes how important he is. and i juuuuust. maybe they should articulate how toxic of a thing that was especially before YZT (who i would love to see a season with him and falling in love/being in love PROPERLY) gets into a rship with someone else

his inflated sense of self purpose is so fucking unattractive for a man and deyn does it well which is why i think hes ugly cos i hate his character but im like into him as a person (the actor) and 95% of that is the tattoos (and having a tattoo in one of my most favorite places and it's a painful placement yes that gets me h*t)

girl im mad idc who knows it it's compelling tho but in the way where im like IT'S ON SIGHT. the back and forth and instability of that is really really really really really difficult and it shows, to me, that YZT thought about himself first. fine. admit it bitch ugh so foul

also the premise itself of the show is silly but it's a decent one (and like tv is trope-y) and honestly i would do that bc like yu zhen said "you cant lose what u never had" and FRANKLY the person who left me coming back would not urge me on unless it was to make this man mad yes i would do that OR it didnt have to involve him at all if they want us to like him well it didnt work for me!!! maybe the rest! but i see u bitch. please i would be so terrified begging someone not to leave you and they do. that pain is immeasurable. literally why cant u love me enough?

[arecomicsevengood]

Seeds

Before I read it, I had this idea I could write a review of Ann Nocenti and David Aja’s The Seeds for the Comics Journal, but the book just sucked too much. It had basically nothing going for it, or even decipherable as an advancing plot. One thing wrong with it is there’s this sort of conspiracy element, or this “no one believes the news” anymore element of it, but Nocenti didn’t want it to be about “fake news.” Donald Trump has rewired the narrative, so now entire types of subject matter feed into this propaganda machine simply by being addressed. Nocenti’s best work does not shy from topicality, addressing the currents in the cultural air, but this time the modern world feels too hot to handle.

I ordered the Daredevil: Typhoid’s Kiss trade paperback, reprinting a bunch of Nocenti’s work with the Typhoid Mary character from the nineties. The longest story in there is a miniseries with art by John Van Fleet. It’s partly about post-Tarantino video-store employees turned filmmakers kidnapping Typhoid Mary to use her as the subject of a documentary about serial killers and violent media. It’s also about Typhoid Mary working as a private detective trying to track down a killer of prostitutes, who the police don’t care about, and are maybe the actual killers of themselves. Storywise, it’s a pretty cool attempt to address real-world issues of the day within a pulp context.

Van Fleet’s art is pretty boring and bad in a way that’s distinctly ahead of its time. While the miniseries itself probably wouldn’t exist without the precedent of Elektra: Assassin a decade before, (a spinoff about a female Daredevil villain created by the writer during their run on Daredevil where that character defined their run) all the photoreference that’s probably actually just photo backgrounds run through filters sets a precedent for the Alex Maleev/Matt Hollingsworth Daredevil stuff to come a decade later. And it’s frequently annoying on a page design/panel background level. Like in terms of how the panel borders sort of default to grid shapes so there ends up being things that “read” as panels but that don’t actually do anything for pacing. It’s just fitting the narrative into regimented design choices.

This maybe only happens the once. But the art is also just super-stiff throughout, with a very chunky line that eliminates any real nuance. There’s a bunch of characters, but a lot of them are indistinguishable from one another, and that’s because the linework is about as muddy as the color palette — It kinda seems like he’s working with models and photo reference but also doesn’t have that many models to work with so he’s having them play multiple roles, but also his work basically seems more like photoshop filters than actual drawing? There’s a bunch of stuff that I think sucks, basically. But you can also draw a direct line from what Van Fleet is doing in Typhoid to what Aja does in The Seeds. All these choices that are meant to be classy and dignifed, a move away from the excess of superhero comics. The covers of Typhoid are just portraits of the main character, interchangeable from one issue to the next, which was a move that again, was ahead of its time: This is what so many Marvel covers in the 2000s looked like, the Tim Bradstreet Punisher covers probably being the go-to example. It’s pretty dull but it’s nice they’re not super-sexualized.

While the choices arguably suit the subject matter in Typhoid, which is at least partly about movies, in The Seeds, the story doesn’t really make any sense because the visuals seem so steeped in unreality. The premise is that a tabloid has photographed an alien, proving aliens are real. There is really nothing within the context of the story that explains why the news outlet would have enough gravitas to be convincing and have this be an actual news story. And the book is drawn in Photoshop, which is itself a photo-editing software, so the “reality” of the book is defined by the very medium that people recognize as why images can’t be trusted. This contributes a level of irony that could maybe be worked with if the book itself wasn’t so ugly and dull. The whole thing looks like some Banksy bullshit. Outside of word balloons, text appears in the large all-caps typeface of image macros. I don’t have scans of The Seeds because I gave my copy away on account of there not being any reason to keep it around.

The book is beyond dated at the time of its release. Partly this is due to the speed the cultural conversation has been moving for the past five years.  It’s been a difficult time period to work on a work of fiction about the news, certainly, and not only has the comic been a long time in the making, the writer has also been away from making comics for decades now. If the authors had been able to make this as a serialized monthly comic, it might’ve stumbled into timeliness, or the predictive, but as it is, the reading experience feels like a bunch of different, disparate ideas that do not really cohere into a narrative. Leaving aside how the book seems to emerge from a general cultural gestalt of the the 1990s, when The X-Files and Weekly World News were objects of discussion, every major plot point or news story chosen for thematic resonance is approximately fifteen years old. I believe 2005 was when I started to hear about colony collapse disorder. This bee metaphor has been lapped by a Honey Nut Cheerios campaign at this point. (A few years back, boxes of cereal came with seeds of wildflowers you/children could plant.)

Darin Morgan’s episode of The X-Files revival “The Mengele Effect” ably addresses all the issues with how cynicism and conspiracy theories feel different now, all the issues that Nocenti seems terrified of and hopes the audience doesn’t think of when reading her humorless X-Files throwback comic. That episode’s great.  Much of The Seeds seems like it was better done in the decidedly not-great Transmetropolitian. There’s something so dated and sad about this comic’s idea of a cool journalist protagonist: People barely smoke cigarettes anymore! I know no one wants to draw people vaping, but the imagery this book wishes meant “cool, urban, woman” reads as nostalgic affectation in 2021. That so much of the commercial landscapes of our cities has been replaced by vape shops was one of the biggest clues we were already living in a dystopia three years ago.

Nocenti, when she was working regularly, got to be a pretty effective writer for having a monthly deadline wherein she could speak on the issues of the day as they were happening. In the absence of a regular gig, this rare chance to speak her mind gets hampered by how much there is to talk about, and how complicated it all is. If it’s too complicated to address in an ongoing superhero comic, a one-off graphic novel with vaguely commercial ambitions turns out to be a worse space for it. It’s so much sadder than anything in this dream-of-the-nineties comic that the authors were given the grace to make something only under the conditions that doom it to failure. Real people made this work of fiction, and I don’t know what the fuck they’re even talking about, and that’s a more complicated narrative than the journalists in this comic who… stumble upon a story and then need to take to back because it’s too important or something? I don’t understand what this comic is about. It’s clearly gesturing at being about a bunch of different things, but what they get from being in juxtaposition with one another, I don’t know.

In interviews in advance of the release of The Seeds, Nocenti talked about how this was the first time she got to make a comic that didn’t have to have fight scenes or conflict in it. But reading Typhoid it’s clear how conflict ties the story’s disparate threads together. But also while reading Typhoid I kept on thinking about how visually, the Steve Lightle shit that preceded it is so much cooler! Here he is, bifurcating a page so two narrative threads can be told with different approaches to stoytelling:

People sometimes talk about how crazy it is that Nocenti started her Daredevil run immediately following up the Miller/Mazzucchelli Born Again run with a fill-in drawn by Barry Windsor-Smith. But I don’t think anyone has pointed out that, since these Typhoid Mary team-up comics appeared in Marvel Comics Presents, she’s basically following up Barry Windsor-Smith’s Weapon X, and Steve Lightle is totally capable of doing that! Even if these comics are kinda whatever narratively, Nocenti comes up with dense enough narratives to give him shit to do. She’s a good writer within the context of the harsh strictures of early nineties mainstream comics. Which I know seems like a harsh diss! But being a writer that makes work that consistently gives a comics artist something interesting to do is a difficult job that many people are just not interested in doing for various reasons, so it should be recognized when it’s attempted and accomplished.

It’s also interesting that the whole visual approach where both Steve Lightle and Barry Windsor-Smith shine is dependent on flat color. The changes in storytelling made to accommodate the shifts in visual language in full-color mainstream comics didn’t really benefit anyone, and now needs to be outsmarted. In The Seeds, we’ve got this pretty dull reading experience that superficially in its two-color print job and nine-panel grid, looks like it might be influenced by Mazzucchelli’s work in Rubber Blanket and City Of Glass. And we’ve got a black and white Barry Windsor-Smith comic coming out from Fantagraphics in a few weeks that I really hope blows it out of the water.

[ckret2]

so DOES the food taste different in hell?

Yep, definitely.

(Edit: I apologize that this post isn’t cut, I tried to edit a word and when I saved it tumblr moved the "keep reading” cut to inside the ask itself????? I don’t know how it did that)

- Any normal Earth ingredients (fruits, veggies, animals, spices) are going to have diverged from the flavor of the same thing on Earth. Ingredients that are available in Hell are going to be there because somebody with a portal to Earth (like I.M.P.’s) smuggled some seeds or baby animals through a long time ago, which means that each one of these foods has been growing generation after generation for decades, centuries, or even millennia separately from the original food item on Earth.

And flavors diverging can happen fast. A well-known example: bananas used to come in two varieties, Gros Michel and Cavendish, and Gros Michel was all but wiped out by a fungus in the 1950s, so now the only commercially-available banana is Cavendish. What if Hell is still growing Gros Michels? They’re gonna taste weirdly sweet to anyone used to Cavendish.

Even if the humans producing food in Hell are trying to keep the taste similar—like, somebody cultivated a certain strain of peaches trying to get them to a specific flavor for years and years on Earth, died, and picked up the same project with Hell’s peaches—minor variations in flavor like that are going to be affected by tiny random mutations and random mixes of genes when the seeds are created, so it’s going to be next to impossible to start with a completely different strain of peaches and over the generations make them taste exactly like the strain of peaches you’re used to from somewhere else, especially if there’s no way to crossbreed those flavors. Particularly since, after a few decades in hell, the flavor they’re trying to replicate is now just a distant memory.

- The quality of ingredients in Hell probably sucks. Hell is a place for punishment, and we know from stream comments that this occasionally takes the form of things just being extremely inconvenient/annoying, like bad weather or allergies. It’s likely that “make things unnecessarily unpleasant just to inconvenience Hell’s residents” is going to extend to things like messing up the growing seasons, either parching or flooding the fields, etc. So you’re going to get, on average, worse quality ingredients than you do on Earth, and that’s going to affect the flavor of foods made with those ingredients.

- Lots of normal Earth ingredients are going to be unavailable, and thus substituted with Hellish ingredients. Either the original Earth ingredients were never smuggled in through a portal, or they were but they’re rare or expensive, being a foreign import that’s difficult to grow in local conditions. We know that hell has its own native flora & fauna, most of which is inimical to humanity; but humanity consists of a bunch of stubborn, determined sonsabitches so 100% chance they’ve been hunting & harvesting the things that grow in hell, attempting to eat them six hundred different ways until they find a way that isn’t poisonous, and then using them to cook.

So when normal ingredients aren’t available, sinners can absolutely go “Well, I don’t have any eggplants to make my eggplant parmesan... But after you boil it for five hours, this Thorny Toe-stinger Fruit tastes close enough, I can substitute it into the recipe.” And that works, you can substitute it into the recipe, and it’ll taste alright, maybe even good... but it doesn’t quite taste like eggplant.

- It’s going to be almost impossible to recreate mass-produced foods like Coca-Cola or Oreos. One of those things Said In A Stream At Some Point is that all of the things you can buy in hell are like slightly shitty off-brand knockoffs of the brand name thing you could get on Earth. This was implied to be part of the whole Hell Is A Punishment thing, but like it makes just as much sense from a logical standpoint.

Oreos exist and continue to exist because some corporation owns the exact recipe and the exact machines needed to cook them the exact same way every time. In order to recreate Oreos perfectly in Hell, you would need somebody who died with the exact Oreo recipe memorized—not just sorta remember it, but MEMORIZED, because you can’t go and look it up once you’re dead—and somebody who knows how to build each and every machine involved in the preparation, cooking, and assembly of Oreos. That just isn’t going to happen. There are likely dozens of machines that are maintained by dozens of people, and none of them need to memorize the exact layouts of the machines with every single part, they just need to have a pretty damn good idea of how the machines work and they can refer back to the blueprints for whatever they don’t remember. And the people who know how to wire the machines are gonna be different from the people who know how to cut and shape the metal to make the machines...

And even if people do exist in the world who have completely memorized every single step needed to create every single part of every machine involved in producing Oreos, no need for blueprints or written-down recipes... half of those people are going to Heaven, and then you’ve lost a couple stages in the process.

And also, again, the ingredients are going to be slightly different.

So you get to Hell, you want something familiar like Hershey’s chocolate or Twinkies or Honey Nut Cheerios or Doritos, what you’re going to find is the “grocery store brand knock-off” version of all of these foods, because replicating the exact recipe with the exact preparation process using the exact same ingredients is going to be impossible in Hell. Whatever you’re eating might be a perfectly okay food, but it’s going to be not quite the same as the familiar thing you’re used to.

- And then there’s the cultural factor to take into account: there’s different humans in Hell than on Earth. Everything from recipe books to restaurant offerings are going to be produced by the people in Hell, who are, of course, a different mix of people from the ones that are currently alive. If everyone liked to cook a certain recipe using XYZ process until 1850 when the last of those cooks died, then starting in 1850 the XYZ process became popular in Hell as new cooks arrived using that process.

Today, England is notorious for having “flavorless” food that uses much less spice than, say, Indian or Mexican food. England was actually about the opposite until around the 1600s: spice was loved and popular up until spice imported from colonies became extremely common, at which point the upper crust of society decided that spice was common and lower-class and it became trendy to cook food without it. If you’re used to English cuisine of the 2000s, die, end up in Hell’s equivalent of England, and go to a restaurant run by somebody who’s been down there since the 1600s, it’s going to taste very different.

And while flavors from centuries ago are going to gradually be forgotten on Earth as the people who used them die of old age, “modern” arrivals in Hell can always try the still-being-cooked foods from people who lived centuries earlier and build upon those recipes and experiment on them—meaning they can innovate on and experiment with flavors that nobody alive is using, and inventing new wholly localized food trends.

So yeah: everything in Hell tastes slightly different than it does on Earth.

[ccc-sarahjaneseddon]

Week 5

Important information in reading:

“Imagined community”

As he explains, all communities, including nations, are built from a series of ideas and imaginings (Anderson 1991), For example, if I consider myself a “New Zealander.” I am constituting this identity for myself without having necessarily met every other New Zealander,”

“New Zealand Imagined (i.e. by the state, in the mainstream media, etc), and who benefits from these particular imaginings (both culturally and financially)? Nations are commonly thought of as being defined by physical boundaries.

Identity that is based on patriarchal colonosation and inequality, and which precipitate racism and war.

Nationalism is commonly associated with fringe minorities and commonly thought of as representative of “dangerous and powerful passions” and “extraordinary emotions” it is equally common in mainstream western democracy(billing, p5)

As billing goes on to discuss, the idea of the nation-state history is historically recent and difficult to define.

The modern concept of the nation is employed not just to define specific nations, but to support and justify the very idea of nations. 

To justify ‘ultimate sacrifices’ as the cause of nationhood is greater than itself (billing pt11)

“The moral aura of nationalism, is invoked: heads will be nodded, flags will be waved and tanks will roll.” (billing p4) 

Nationalism as something that “occurs there” on the periphery, not “here” in the centre,” for as he argues, it is certainly the constantly “here”(billing p6)

Nationalism applies to an extreme demonstration of loyalty to the nation, it depends upon a banal framework of recognisable symbols and signs that constitute that national identity.

‘banal nationalism’, which he delineates from the common usage of world nationalism by using analogy of a flag: during war, when nationalism is invoked, the flag flies proudly at the forefront of the army. During peacetime it may hang innocuously on the front of a post office(Billing p6) This post office flag is representative of banal nationalism 

Flag flies proudly,

To show the country flag off, this whole flag flying gives me that image of America flags in the sky and also brings me a vision of the BNZ ad we watched in class. The America flag I feel is always shown flying in the sky.

The flag always means the same thing. It means “this nation.” Given this framework of banal nationalism, it is possible

“Kiwi-ness”

Watties brand tomato sauce, the other for Tip Top brand ‘supersoft’ white bread, both refer specifically to New Zealand and New Zealanders through the use of terms like ‘kiwi’ and ‘this country’.  

I have thought about adds in New Zealand who show off ‘the kiwi-ness’ in there ads, and I was thinking Mcdonalds kiwi burger ad does this. Yes it is a kiwi burger but the jingle is all to do with kiwis and what we do best and what we love.

Original lyrics:

"Kiwis love hot pools, rugby balls, McDonald's, snapper schools, world peace, woolly fleece, Ronald and raising beasts.

"Chilly bins, cricket wins, fast skis, golf tees, Silver Ferns, Kauri trees, Kiwiburger love one please... McDonald's Kiwiburger. The classic New Zealand burger.

"Cause we love All Blacks, thermal daks, egg and cheese, walking tracks, beef pattie, marching girls, tomato, lettuce and paua shells.

"Gumboots, ponga shoots, floppy hats, kiwifruits, beetroot, Buzzy Bees, moggy cats, cabbage trees, onions, kakapos, kia oras, cheerios, Jandals, sandals, ketchup, Coromandel's, Swanndris, butterflies, mustard, fishing flies, Hokey Pokey, Māori haka. Kiwiburger, that's our tucker!"

NZ Herald: McDonald's releases diverse new Kiwiburger anthemhttps://www.newstalkzb.co.nz/lifestyle/anika-moa-and-troy-kingi-team-up-for-new-diverse-mcdonaldss-kiwiburger-anthem/ Mon, 20 Jul 2020,

Both use techniques to hail the viewer into regarding themselves in the context of their nation identity. Through direct address of actor to camera (in case of Supersoft) and use the term “You”(as in “watties sauce”)

The word you catches your attention as you imagine yourself as being you, I have never noticed this but now I can understand how ads are trying to catch your attention to be ‘kiwi’

The viewer into the subject positioned of either being a “kiwi” or not being a “kiwi” By attempting to associate the products with what is assumed to be the national character of Aoteroa/New Zealand, the advertisements in fact reproduce, and in so doing constitute, this of the post office.

Banal nationalism can be visually observed in both advertisements as they both have more or less identical settings.

Robin Law (1997), who writes that the popular representation of the New Zealand national character is often strongly linked to the outdoors.

Both Supersoft and Watties sauce reinforce traits by contrasting an essential “kiwi” with an essential representation of another culture.

Ads often show the kiwi-ness through using kiwi stereotypes. For example the whole idea that we play rugby, that all you see is farm land filled with cows and sheep,  we wear gumboots, we have a good summer with bbqs and beaches. The stereotype of farmers in New Zealand was shown in Week 5 lecture, we watched Hilux ads and it was the whole idea that we drive across ruff farmland in gumboots. Also that whole idea of being a “white male.” A example of this mentioned in this reading is “Wattie Sauce” that shows images of children at barbecues with bare feet, the beach and other outdoor settings. Being a kiwi I feel like stereotypes bring that kiwi-ness in ads. 

White, middle aged and casually/rurally dress - Kiwi male is shown applying the aforementioned sauce to a sushi roll while the jingle exclaims that “you’ll never be a kiwi ‘till you love our Watties”

This kind of annoyed me because as mentioned above its “you” focus, that whole representation that makes you buy products just because you live in New Zealand and want you to feel that you have to be “kiwi.” I never noticed this slogan mentioned in their ads untill this was pointed out. And for some reason when reading this I felt annoyed and angry.

Experience of another culture. He is a “kiwi” which means he cannot eat Japanese food as Japanese people might intend him too. Rather, he must “kiwify” it lest in breach his national character.

Contrasted with the assumed national character of the Japanese, which is shown in the commercial to be up-market and highly ritualistic. The Japanese waitress appears in full nation costume’.

This made me question, is this really appropriate? is it appropriate to say that you ain’t kiwi unless you put tomato sauce on another cultural food? In my opinion I feel that it shouldn’t be pushing out the ideal kiwi and making you feel that you have to eat food a certain way to be kiwi. 

According to Tiptop, New Zealanders have been spending all together too much time calling a spade a racist epithet, for playing “cowboys and indigenous Native Americans” (rather than “Indians”), wishing to eat free range eggs(instead of batter) wearing a helmet while riding a bicycle are all regarded as “soft”

Tip Top white bread should be the only soft thing in a New Zealander’s life. ‘Enough is enough, New Zealand,” she tells the camera, as the viewer is called upon to examine whether or not they have strayed far enough from the national character to be considered “soft” or otherwise “not kiwi”

Side-stepped the association of masculinity and “kiwi” by placing a woman in the role of speaking to New Zealand.

New Zealand identity typically excludes woman, meaning woman are either required to place themselves in opposition or assume a masculine role when participating in the framework of national identity. (Law, 1997, pg 6)

Tip Top considered it in their interest to represent a “kiwi” in the form of woman.”

We use that stereotype of a “white male” in ads to focus to the whole idea of being“kiwi.” Tip top has considered to represent a “kiwi” in form of a woman. This shows how they have gone out of the whole idea that New Zealand is represented by males.

The ‘flagging’ of both “is” and “isn’t” part of ‘our’ national identity occurs on a daily basis.

Declare both what “kiwis” should and shouldn’t be, and to sort them from the “not kiwis”

Billig’s supposition is that, regardless if the challenge to the traditional nation posed by postmodernism, there is still plenty of power and there are still plenty of guns.

“Kiwi jobs for kiwi workers”

Where nationalists flaggings are concerned and regarding that advice, readers of this essay and I, I might add, this author, might be inclined to agree. Banal, as billig tells us does not equal benign. 

Reflection

Overall this reading of “A Kiwi At My Table Banal Nationalism and Food Advertising in Aotearoa/New Zealand” by Robyn Kenealy. Has made me aware that food ads are using the whole idea of being “kiwi” and suggests to “you” that you should be kiwi as well. By using the sterotypical ideal kiwi white male, and stereotypical of being kiwi, for example “you’ll never be a kiwi ‘till you love our Watties.” I have felt annoyed that New Zealanders as a nation are sharing the ideal way to be a kiwi for there own company or business. People identify New Zealand as a summer, bbq with friends, farming and other sterotypes of New Zealand that shows the audience of the ads that it is our nation.

Anderson, Benedict. “The origins of nationalism”. Imagined Communities: Reflections on the origin and spread of nationalism. Verso Books, 2006, 48-59.

Billig, Michael. “Introduction”. Banal Nationalism. Sage Publications, 1995, 1-12.

Kenealy, Robyn. “A “kiwi” at my table”. Unpublished (student essay), n.d.

https://www.newstalkzb.co.nz/lifestyle/anika-moa-and-troy-kingi-team-up-for-new-diverse-mcdonaldss-kiwiburger-anthem/

NZ Herald: McDonald's releases diverse new Kiwiburger anthemhttps://www.newstalkzb.co.nz/lifestyle/anika-moa-and-troy-kingi-team-up-for-new-diverse-mcdonaldss-kiwiburger-anthem/ Mon, 20 Jul 2020,

[themostrandomfandom]

hey! i've been reading your old ask replies religiously for the past couple days so i've gotta ask what some of you "random" headcanons are, like nicknames, maybe stuff abt britt's sister? i'll take basically anything lol

also, whats your general headcanon on what happened post “new directions” for brittana? bc the 5x20 “explanation” didn’t really explain anything & in 6x03 santana says they should start living together so what exactly do you think they had been doing up until that point?

Hey, @tryingtoohardddd!

So I wrote this little “fix it” patch that is basically my headcanon for what Brittana get up to between episode 5x14 and episode 5x20.

The TL;DR version goes as follows:

Between episodes 5x14 and 5x18, Brittana go on a ten month vacation because the Glee writers can’t keep track of their own timeline.

Despite what Brittany later says in episode 5x20, the girls do indeed make it to both Lesbos AND Hawaii as planned.

Brittana then return to NYC together circa the events of episode 5x18.

However, because Brittany is about 900000000% done with Rachel Berry the New Directions, she lays low while Santana interacts with them.

While Santana crashes at the Jones-Evans-Anderson brownstone, Brittany stays with some dancer friends who are attending Julliard.

During this time, Santana works at the diner while Brittany searches for a job of her own, the plan being that once they save up enough money, they can move in together. Unfortunately, Brittany does not have much luck on the job front.

Brittana see each other pretty much every day during this time, but they never let on to the other glee kids that Brittany is in NYC. Because the glee kids are the glee kids, they also never really ask Santana where Brittany is or what she’s doing or even how their vacation was.

Eventually, Santana gets offered a chance to star in another Yeast-I-Stat commercial. Mercedes also offers Santana the chance to sing backup on the Park and Bark tour.

Santana knows that between the tour and commercial gigs, she will make enough money to help her and Brittany rent their own apartment. Still, she is reluctant to leave Brittany for so long to go on the road.

Brittany’s solution is to finally reveal her presence in NYC to the New Directions and get Mercedes to hire her as a background dancer.

Cue the events of episode 5x20.

Brittana then tour around the US with Mercedes for about five months.

At the end of the tour, they either return briefly to NYC where they both live with Mercedes OR they go straight from their last tour gig back to Lima circa the events of episode 6x02. Take your pick.

Either way, they’re still in a place where they’re looking to finally move in together in New York—for the first time sans roommates—per their discussion in episode 6x03.

They remain in Lima as they prepare for their wedding, and then they move back to NYC once they are lawfully wife and wife.

As for random headcanons, I put a bunch of ‘em after the cut.

_______

So these are mostly Mouseverse, but you can wedge ‘em in to make them fit canon, too, if you like:

Brittany’s dad refers to Santana as “Santana-banana.” Santana always blushes at the nickname, but secretly she likes it because it makes her feel like part of the family.

Brittany’s dad calls Brittany “Brittany Sue,” which is something that of all Brittany’s friends only Santana knows.

Brittany has saved every card, note, and valentine Santana has ever given her over the years, and she keeps them in a secret box in her closet. During the events of S2 when Brittany is dating Artie and she and Santana aren’t really hanging out so much, she sometimes pulls the box out and reads through its contents and has a long cry because she just misses Santana so much, and she doesn’t know how to make things right between them. Of course, on a happier note, once she and Santana actually get together during S3, she has to get a bigger box because Santana is constantly giving her the sweetest love letters all the time, and her collection grows exponentially over the course of just a few months.

Long before she came out, Santana used to have a pretty massive crush on Brittany’s lookalike older cousin, who was a star on the women’s volleyball team at Bowling Green. Of course, Santana never framed her feelings as a crush. She just talked a lot about how the cousin was pretty much the coolest person ever and followed her around like a puppy whenever they were in the same place together. Brittany didn’t get why Santana was so obsessed because, in her opinion, her cousin was kind of boring and didn’t even have an interesting college major. Later on, after Santana is out and she and Brittany are dating, both Santana and Brittany look back on the situation and laugh because, holy shit, little baby gay Santana had it sooooooo bad.

Brittany’s little sister was born when Brittany was nine years old. In my stories, I never actually refer to her by her given name because Brittany and Santana call her mean nicknames like “runt,” “pint-sized,” “pipsqueak,” “brat,” and “rugrat” pretty much all the time. But her given name is Ashley Elizabeth.  

Brittany’s sister secretly idolizes Santana and Brittany, but she never lets on that she does. Instead, she is typically snarky to them, much like Santana is to the New Directions. 

Santana likes ketchup on her macaroni and cheese, and Brittany teases her for it because to her that’s super gross.

Santana sleeps on the left side of the bed. Brittany sleeps on the right. They’ve had their chosen sides worked out since long before they were ever officially a couple.

For as tough as Santana acts sometimes, she gets really scared at horror movies. Brittany never makes her watch them when they’re alone together—even though Brittany actually likes horror movies and is herself something of a buff—but sometimes when they’re at parties or hanging out in groups, they don’t have a choice. On the occasions when Puck decides to pop in a Freddy Krueger movie to fill out a Friday night or when someone has already got Paranormal Activity playing by the time they show up to the yearly Cheerios Halloween bash, Brittany makes a point to ask logistical questions about the movies from start to finish, pointing out plot holes as she does so (“Wait. Shouldn’t someone have found the bodies in the hospital where Jason left them? Why is that guy saying they disappeared?” “How come the demon in Regan freaked out if it was only tap water the priest sprinkled on her? Shouldn’t it have known it wasn’t holy water?”). She puts on a good show, pretending like she just genuinely doesn’t understand movie mechanics, and no one can really yell at her for asking, because, well, she’s Brittany. Still, everyone gets super annoyed because the continuity mistakes she’s noticing are real, and remaining immersed in the story world becomes intensely difficult once you know they’re there. Even though no one else appreciates her making it impossible to suspend disbelief as they watch, Santana is always grateful because Brittany’s questions help her to not feel so scared and to keep her street cred in public. Rather than getting hung up on killer clowns and vengeful ghosts, she can just laugh when Brittany points out obvious, glaring mistakes (“That’s right. God, these directors should hire you to check this shit”).

One of Santana’s favorite scents is sweetpea because that’s what Brittany’s body spray smells like.

Brittana have keys to each other’s houses. During S2 while Brittany is dating Artie, Santana wonders if she should give her key to Brittany’s house back, but ultimately she doesn’t because Brittany never asks for it. Brittany doesn’t mention it, but Artie never gets a key.

If you were to ask the glee kids, they would probably say pink or purple or even rainbow, but the truth is that Brittany’s favorite color is brown because that’s the color of Santana’s eyes. 

Thanks for the question!

[elliottheamericanbulldog]

If I gotta listen to these good goes around cheerio commercials anymore OMG it's so annoying you've been playing these commercials for too long, Cheerios.

[docholligay]

A Ghost Story

HOLD ONTO YOUR ASS @maskedtranslatinganon this was going to be a short thing but now its nearly 2000 words about this movie. Nonspoilery above the cut, spoilery below

I turned to my wife as soon as the movie was over. “That movie was written by a man.”

“Oh yeah?”

“It loves its concept so much it forgets to make you care. I’ve seen it a million times.”

The writing credit came up, and I was not wrong. I’ve seen it a million times. Not all men write stories like this, but pretty much everyone who writes these kind of stories are men.

Ultimately A Ghost Story failed where a lot of science fiction and horror can--wrapped up in the assured genius of its high concept, A Ghost Story forgets to make you want to care about its characters, or give you the space to develop that care for yourself. Admittedly, the concept is amazing, and I was surprised by how much I found myself touched by the trailer for the movie. I simply wish the movie had followed through on the level of pathos given by the short. I think, ultimately, the problem was, the writer had a great idea for a story, but not a great idea for characters to inhabit the story, and so the world ultimately felt empty.

That is not to say the movie is not without poignant moments, simply that we are never allowed to linger in a space that might make us delve into a character’s emotions or ideas. This is actually a story which might be very well carried out in the context of a novel, with a deft hand, a medium where we are allowed to see the inner workings of the characters, and how they tick. Within the highly visual medium of a movie, however, it simply falls flat, and regrettably so, the premise being so strong.

(I am not rating this on spooky-scariness. It’s not a spooky-scary kind of film)

Part of the difficulty with the story is it has little idea where it should linger and where it should not. The movie is not very long, clocking in at an hour and a half, and I feel like we could have spent that time getting to know the ghost and his wife, even in small moments, but instead we linger on the two of them lying in bed, in the beginning of the story that will also be the end of the story, and we’re never given any reason to believe in his desire to reconnect with her. We get the tidbit that she hides notes wherever she’s been, cryptically noted as things she wanted to remember, but otherwise she has little characterization. (In fairness, so does he)

They fight about the house, because she doesn’t like it, most of which only really becomes clear on the second go around. She wants to leave. He wants to stay, but does not say why

(Or even that he doesn’t know why, which could have been a beautifully compelling moment for the story. At the beginning, we could see them actually fighting about the house, and him saying he loves it and doesn’t want to leave it, and her asking why, but he doesn’t know, and he is forced to say so, forced to say he feels a connection to the house, that he needs to be here. Then the reveal at the end that he has already been here might have had more weight, more resonance)

Instead we are treated to whatever kind of music happens when the Fireflies guy is having an off day and moody about cheerios not being on sale or something, which we are, I assume, meant to take as a meaningful expression of his deepest emotions but just comes off as flat, Rooney Mara having the same kind of dispassionate nodding at his work as I might have reading my coworker’s Christian unicorn poetry. Her mouth says, “that’s nice,” but her eyes say “please get hit by a car already so we can move this along”

And that is the extent of what we get about their relationship. Mara actually shines more when she is alone--one of my favorite scenes, which will doubtless be disliked by many people, is the lingering pie scene. I thought it spoke so deeply to the strange and quiet stillness of grief, her desperately eating the entire pie, sitting on the floor of the kitchen, with no backing soundtrack, no odd moments, no nothing. Just her, eating this grief pie, alone, until she throws it up, unable to handle the enormity of it all. I thought it was one of the few times the camera’s lingering gaze actually served the characters.

We never know the people he haunts either, or why. It’s easy enough, I suppose, when his wife brings a man home and he makes the lights flicker, The Latino family is handled so bogglingly within the context of the story that my wife leaned over and asked me, “so is the ghost a racist or what?” On the walk home, I explained that the ghost was frustrated by his inability to communicate with the outside world, and destruction is the only way he knows how to communicate, as it’s only the little boy that can see him. I then realized I had been writing motivation into the work--it's never stated, even indirectly, that this is the source of his frustration, and I can’t recall that he realistically tried in any other way. He simply watches a young family enjoy their lives, and then destroys their fine china.

There’s also a side ghost, who exists mainly to explain to us that a ghost can vanish when they have decided to move on, essentially.

One of the “families” the house hosts is essentially the writer’s bloviating soliloquy on the unimportance of man, which, generally, I can get into. (I leaned over to my wife at this part and said “me at parties”) But it’s another part of the movie wherein we spend too much time on a detail of no emotional consequence. The speech drags on and on about how we try to make a mark but ultimately everything fades, and all we create for is to in some small way be remembered, but its still for nothing. Our ghost makes the lights flicker, because apparently reminding him no one remembers anything he did now is less offensive than simply celebrating Christmas and eating beans, which deserves dish destruction, I don’t know.

Finally the house gets knocked down, which is another affecting scene, and you really get a sense of the way everything he knew about himself is crumbling down around him, just as he was about to get her note out of the doorframe, where she painted it before she left. It’s beautifully timed, the feel of it is crushing. I just wish I cared at all about him, so I could feel sorrow at this moment.

Anyway, the house gets covered with a high rise, which he jumps off of, but gives him no escape. Ghosts don’t fly, it seems, which works for me.

So then we get into the whole idea of time being a circle, as he gets sent back to the settlement of the american west, and gets to witness a pioneer family that we also don’t get to know in any way. The little girl sticks a piece of paper under a rock, which is supposed to be an emotionally affecting callback I am sure, and I’m over here like. “Okay but what year is this? I am thinking 1830s? Earlier? Where did she get paper? It’s expensive. How can she write well enough so young to write a note, when many early settlers were illiterate or poorly literate?”

Lest you think I am being annoying about westerns, I can be, a little, but I can totally let it slide when I give a tinker’s damn about what’s going on. At this point, I am fucking crying out for a character. Not just one I like! Just a fully realized character. That’s it. That’s all.

Anyway, the entire family gets murdered by Natives like a minute and a half after we meet them, so again I am thwarted. We watch her body decompose into the bones, because something something the enormity of time. (About that: My wife was shocked she didn’t cry, because the enormity of time always gets to her, but she was never even remotely moved to tears, which should tell you something about how this whole thing is handled)

Anyway, we’re back at the house, with he and his wife, and I know, AS A WRITER, this is where he wants to bring the hammer down. This is where, as a writer, you want to whip back the curtain and go, “BEHOLD!” But there’s nothing to behold. We finally get confirmation they were fighting about the house, and it might have had some emotional resonance that he was in the house already, that what he was really feeling was a draw to himself, if we had known they were fighting about the house and if we were allowed to see his ridiculous nonsensical attachment. When we came back to the house, we could have said, “OH SHIT HE WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME THAT’S WHY” but since we don’t lean on his attachment early, the whole thing just seems dumb.

Anyway, he’s the one who scares them where the movie opens, they spoon while a camera looks on too long, and he finally gets the note out of the doorframe, before she ever painted it in.

(I have some questions that might be interesting that I’ve been pondering.. So why settlement? Is it a house? Is a home on the residence what draws him into the circle? Is that why he didn’t go back to the primordial ooze? IS the high rise being commercial the reason he was able to throw himself off and begin again?)

He decides to move on, having read the note she painted into the house, which I can only assume says “I realize the narrative has given me no reason to miss my husband this much” and disappears.

(I do actually like that we never find out what her note said, and I think that is real and correct and if everything else in the story had been handled with more emotion and depth, it might have been lovely.

If I sound bitter, it’s mostly because the concept is so beautiful, and the epic of it could be so sweeping, if we were allowed the two seconds of emotional space to care about the characters. I actually think this could be a beautiful novel. (And you wouldn’t even have to make it gay!! (I would make it gay)) I think the general concepts of why we’re attracted to a place could be chilling if we were given that. But we aren’t. The story is so married to “Time...just epic, dude.” that it forgets that the whole reason the enormity of time scares us is that depersonalization, and if we had gotten to know our ghost at all, seeing him more and more removed from his humanity might have been amazing. But they never GIVE us that, and so I ultimately found the story very wanting, while thinking it could be a brilliant concept to use, with appropriately rich characters.

[klaineship2]

TDB Rewatch   Mattress        Episode 1x12

“Do you think I have a potatoe head?”

This is an episode about being proud of what you are and owning what makes you different and not letting anyone discourage you.

First I want to say that I am not very familiar with this Yearbook thing. Why do they do the yearbook in the middle of school year? Isn’t that something that should mark the end of a school year? We don’t have that in Germany. Of course there are school photos of every class every year but a whole book with all the classes and clubs and individual photos of everyone? No --  at least not every year. HighSchool Seniors (Abiturienten) usually create a kind of yearbook at the end of their ‘HighSchool’ time with individual photos of every graduating student and group photos.. It’s a kind of a memory scrapbook of their last 2 years at school but I never heard of a tendency to destroy those photos. Maybe because it’s something special and not just an every year thing.

Anyway, I loved Rachel in this episode. Though in the beginning she seems to use all those Clubs only as stepping stones for her future fame, she still is the only proud member of Glee Club from the beginning. She is so excited and passionate about the Yearbook and nothing can dampen her enthusiasm. Until Finn bails on her and even then she uses all her Diva power and acting skills to get over it and hide her disappointment.

The rest of the Glee kids has a longer way to go. Kurt’s demonstration at the beginning makes it seem as if he’s the spiritual leader. Everyone, even the ‘popular’ kids listen to his speech and agree with him. They are all equally shocked when Will announces that the photo will be taken anyway. And again everyone is agreeing when he and Mercedes vote for Rachel as the captain of the Glee Club and they are relieved that she’s so eager in accepting it right away.  Quinn is the only one who is changing her mind on screen, by revealing Sue’s shenanigans and putting Glee Club over Cheerios. It makes her a lot more likeable and nice.

The other kids just listen to Will’s little pep talk at the end and then they’re preparing for the photo shoot, though I like that bitter sweet scene a lot combined with the song ‘Smile’. In the end they are all (literally) on the same page again. They might be outcasts but they belong together and they’ll face everything that’ll be (literally) thrown at them.

 ‘Jump’ is one of my favourite Season 1 group numbers. The cast clearly has a blast jumping on those trampolines and acting crazy. And Kurt wouldn’t be Kurt if he didn’t use every opportunity to catch attention.

When he jumps up from behind that mattress into ‘Kurt Pose’ it’s just hilarious.

Other Kurt things:

Does he really think the Glee Club is still relatively anonymous? After ‘Push It’, the invitationals and the overlapping practice times with football?!?

Kurt’s completly stunned and annoyed reaction to Rachels suggestion of starting a GayLesbAll-Club. That’s just priceless Mr Colfer !

his conspiracy with Mercedes. Kurt-Mercedes-friendship in general.

I’d liked to hear Kurt’s excuse for not being a good Co-Captain. Or did Rachel not ask him?

from the moment on Rachel mentions the commercial, he is making camera faces and posing, even during the ‘rehearsal’ of those horrible lines

Kurt preparing for the photo shoot together with the other guys and helping Artie with his tie.

Other things

the annoyed looks of all of Rachel’s fellow members on her various club photos

Ken having 73 flaws ‘as of yesterday’

Emma talking herself into reasons to marry Ken

Finn not wanting to be on the photo because he has “football and friends and stuff” but being absolutely excited at Rachels suggestion that he has leadership potential. Being a leader is something he’ll be trying to proof through the whole series.

Will having empty hair gel bottles in his dumpster piled as high as 12 mattresses (how high is Blaines pile then?)

Finally I want to acknowledge the final scene between Will and Terri. Wow, that was intense. It is a horrible storyline and they did use it as a joke quite a lot, but this scene blew me away. Will’s barely contained rage, the physical violence he shows against Terri, there is a moment when she’s really scared.. All that anger and the desperation on both sides, Will’s and Terri’s. I felt sorry for both of them.

[frenchiestan]

Taggy Thingy

Rules: Complete the survey & say who tagged you in the beginning. When you’re finished, tag people to do this survey. Have fun and enjoy!

I was tagged by the wonderful @protectsammy​! Thank you :)

1: Are you named after someone? Not technically, though I do have an aunt named Elizabeth (my middle name).

**2: When was the last time you cried? **So if this means for actual reasons, then like a week ago. But if the fact that I’m a giant sap counts then two days ago watching the Notebook. Hell, probably yesterday watching some commercial, who even knows?!

3: Do you like your handwriting? Yes. It’s pretty bad but I like to think of it as quirky!

4: What is your favorite lunch meat? Well I’m vegetarian so I don’t eat it anymore but before I went veg it was probably ham.

5: Do you have kids? Do my two cats count?

6: If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Hell yes! I’m a delight! 

7: Do you use sarcasm? Nope. I have never used sarcasm in my whole life. It’s a totally foreign concept to me. Who even uses sarcasm? Not me.

8: Do you still have your tonsils? Yup.

9: Would you bungee jump? Hell yes!!

10: What is your favorite kind of cereal? Frosted Flakes or Cheerios.

11: Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? My boots yes, my sneakers no.

12: Do you think you’re a strong person? It really depends but usually I am.

**13: What is your favorite ice cream? Ever, ever? **Mint Chip. Specifically, Turkey Hill mint chip.

14: What is the first thing you notice about people? Either smile or sense of style (clothing and hair).

15: What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself? Um I guess the fact that my facial/body hair is pretty dark/fast growing. It’s gets kinda annoying.

**16: What color pants and shoes are you wearing now? **Black/grey pants. I’m barefooting it.

17: What are you listening to right now? My dog walking.

18: If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Yo um Magenta. Maybe something fancier, like Orchard.

19: Favorite smell? Vanilla. Or fresh baked cinnamon rolls.

20: Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? Lol the receptionist at my church. I called them to let them know my aunt was having surgery so they could pray for her and all that.

21: Favorite sport to watch? Basketball or soccer.

22: Hair color? Natural: brown. Current: faded red with long roots.

23: Eye color? On the browner side of hazel.

24: Do you wear contacts? Yes when I don’t feel like glasses.

25: Favorite food to eat? Waffles!!!!!!!!!!!

26: Scary movies or comedy? Comedy! Tho a funny scary movie is also rad.

27: Last movie you watched? The Notebook.

28: What color of shirt are you wearing? Grey.

29: Summer or winter? Summer.

30: Hugs or kisses? Um both!

31: What book are you currently reading? Stardust by Neil Gaiman.

32: Who do you miss right now? There’s a certain boy......

33: What is on your mouse pad? I don’t have one.

34: What is the last TV program you watched? Supernatural, though I was sorta passively watching Bones after.

35: What is the best sound? A cat’s purr.

36: Rolling stones or The Beatles? THE BEATLES! How dare you even ask me this!?!

37: What is the furthest you have ever traveled? Alaska.

38: Do you have a special talent? Several actually. My favorites include, flexibility, whistling, singing, and baking.

39: Where were you born? Syracuse, New York. Go Orange!

Tagging: @adoringjensen​ @fallencasifer​ @trashcandean​ @plaidpadalecki​ @braveheartdean​ @charliebravery​

And anyone else that wants to do it, feel free to say I tagged you!

[dentist-brainsurgeon]

Anyone else annoyed by the new Cheerios commercial

[gleefail]

Glee Memories: 1x12 MATTRESS

A long, long time ago, as Glee was approaching graduation in Season 3, I found myself nostalgic with some rare free time on my hands. So I decided to rewatch the series from the beginning and jot down some memories, discrepancies that have arisen since, fave quotes, tally solos - all that good stuff, strictly for shits and giggles.

8 years later (eek!) and once more I find myself with an unexpected abundance of free time. With so many revisiting or being newly introduced to the show between binge watching during Quarantine and all the tragedy that has surrounded the show since it went off the air, I figured I’d finish what I started. And by finish, I mean go through the end of S3. Cause I truly cannot acknowledge what happened after that. Except for 5B.

Kicking this off by reposting the first 15 episodes I already went through. Enjoy!

1x12 MATTRESS Yearbook pictures. Ruh roh. I remember this ep. It ended sad for me. :(

Ken thinks he’s gonna drop 20 pounds in less than a week. Oh boy.

Remember that time Ken totes planned his and Emma’s wedding the same time as Sectionals so she couldn’t go, then pretended he didn’t, then Emma stood up for him when Will caught on? That was fun…douche Ken.

“Got myself a bit of an eyelift. And while they were in there I told em’ go ahead and yank out those tear ducts. Wasn’t usin’ em’.”

Is Sue right – do yams really draw the water out of the skin? Hmm…yam diet, eh?

“We have all felt the cold humiliation of a slushie in the face” Not yet, Kurt. But apparently you ALL will. Still double-checking that. Rachel, Finn, Quinn, Puck, Kurt, Mr. Schue.

“What’s a patriotic wedgie?” “It’s when they hoist you up the flagpole by your undies.” “Strangely it did make me feel more American.”

It is TERRIFYING, the fates of these kids in previous glee yearbook photos whose pictures were defaced. OMG.

“He barks at my mom.”

Alright. I gotta say it. It is totally not right or legal I’m sure for Figgins to ask for Glee to pay for their own photo. He’s saying that’s what a full page ad costs…but the school doesn’t pay a thousand dollars for each club’s picture. Shenanigans.

Okay. So I’m watching this post-Props/Nationals. And I’m pissed. Rachel just came storming into Figgins’ office to petition for a Glee yearbook photo. She says “As you may know, this is my first year in Glee Club” – THE FUCK?!?! So she wasn’t in Glee her freshman year?!?! So she started the same time as Tina, Artie, Kurt, and Mercedes?!?! So we DIDN’T miss a year of her ‘earning it’ more than anyone else around her? THE FUCK, Glee?! THE FUCK, I ASK YOU!

Hey, remember that time that Rachel joined every club possible? Hey, remember how 2 seasons later she’ll say she doesn’t have extracurriculars for her NYADA audition application? Hey, remember how in Props she says she’s involved in 6 clubs? WTF? #oops

Quinn wants her kids to look back on her yearbook pics and be proud. “Not the bastard one I’m carrying now…” Ha!

Quinn is gonna get in that yearbook photo for the Cheerios and back on that squad whether Sue Sylvester likes it or not. Quinn is braver than I’ll ever be.

Terri is so supportive. She just told Will to wear the tie for the Glee Club photo that’ll go best with the cool kids defacing of it.

“Oh great. Why don’t you take the food out of the refrigerator and give that to the kids?” hahaha. Overdramatic and exaggerating, but still funny.

Will is going behind Terri’s back to pay for the photo. Yup. That’s a strooooong marriage they got there…

Ok. Rachel just said if she is in one more club she would officially be the most involved student in the school. Yet she HAS to run for Senior Class President because she has nothing for her NYADA application and she is convinced she won’t get Maria…and even after she GETS Maria, she still doesn’t drop even though her ‘friend’ Kurt really needs it and really wants to be prez to make a difference while in the position. She is awful. They turned her into an AWFUL human being. That we’re no longer supposed to laugh at, but admire. And honestly so far in the series, she’s not so bad. So…lemme see if I can pinpoint in my rewatching when the decline of her character started…

The look Kurt has when he just gets up and walks away from Rachel’s GayLesbAl suggestion. Hi. Lar.I. Ous.

And Mercedes is chillin’ with Matt and Mike. I’m tellin’ ya, I thought she was like, a popular girl!

“I nominate Rachel.” “Second.” Kurtcedes love.

…two things: 1. I think Will uses Emma’s counseling services more than any student. Or all of them combined. 2. He does know she’s not a psychologist, right?

haha. Emma and Will are acknowledging how annoying Rachel is. It’s cruel, but..yes. Teachers do that.

As captain of the Glee Club, did Rachel (or Finn) ever have to do more than have the responsibility of this first yearbook photo? I know at times Finn tries to take on a leadership role but…it’s such a useless position.

:) Aw.Rachel went to Mercedes first to be co-captain. I like that. Maybe it’s cause I’m thinking of TroubleTones and how well and fairly she led them.

“Because I don’t wanna be in a picture with you, it’ll get defaced.” “No it won’t.” “Yes it will, I’ll be the one doing it.”

Rachel is saying that the football players and cheerleaders are only in Glee because of Finn. Hmmm….well, Quinn kinda but more cause of Rachel trying to steal him. We don’t know exactly why the football players joined but it was after they won that game and danced with Kurt and Mr. Schue…and wasn’t it Finn that didn’t choose Glee over football when all the rest of them did? Did I imagine that? No? Just checking.

Haha. Smile. I like this song. I had a friend who hated Glee because everyone loved it. He’s one of those “If everyone loves it it can’t possibly be because it’s good, it’s cause it’s a stupid fad” people – you know the type. He was into this girl and I knew she liked the show so I liked to tease him about how he probably watched it with her. I think he said this song was the first time he saw any of the show and he was confused. I remember I was like “oh, you saw like, the first time they did a song that made no sense in the moment at all. Like, it wasn’t used to further the story, it was out of context except the title of it and it wasn’t supposed to be a performance either. They never do that though. Watch it again.”. Wow. Thinking back on that now…this was the first moment that happened. And it ended up happening SO many more times.  Just…wow. Historic moment right there.

And still, this song is such an odd choice for learning to pose for a yearbook photo. It could’ve been cut completely. Why wasn’t it? It didn’t even bother to further the Finchel storyline either. It was cute and fun and I like the song and I’m glad they did it so I have it on my ipod for workouts, lol, but…unnecessary.

It annoys the crap outta me when they act like they’re sightreading sheet music on this show. No. You are not. And you do an awful job pretending like you are. Just stop.

Ooh, Brad’s getting his jam on, lol.

hahaha. Karofsky just asked how to spell loser. Really? Also, is he officially a football guy now instead of a hockey guy? Ok. Sure. Why not.

I always wonder how people act to a pre-recorded voice-over of inner monologue when there’s more than just “I’m sad” happening with their sub-text. How do they sync that up to the acting journey so well like in this moment that Rachel’s giving her self a pep talk in the mirror? It’s like magic to me, lol.

“I can cry on demand. It’s one of my many talents.”

“Aside from nudity and the exploitation of animals, I’ll pretty much do anything to break into the business.” It’s funny cause I saw Lea Michele topless in Spring Awakening prior to this.

Finn bitches about Glee bringing down his reputation, take three.

“Do you think I have a potato head?”

haha, I do love love love how Rachel shames Finn during this scene. Every time she says his name it’s like a bitch slap for bailing on the yearbook photo.

they’re reeeeeeal excited about selling mattresses. Wanky.

Oh, this brilliant brilliant script for the mattress commercial:                *sigh* “Ah me”                “What’s wrong?”                “We just lost our jobs. At the factory. And we can’t get a good night’s                   sleep” (emphasis on ‘night’s’)

“We should perform.” “Perform the lines…as I wrote them.” I wonder if that was a shoutout/threat to this cast from RIB. Or how many times they’ve heard that if they ever bring up continuity etc. Just me?

Oh Jump. Ok. Let’s talk about this. Super fun number. Great vocals. Also the first time I realized AmberRiley is the shit. Except it took a couple people to make me realize it wasn’t just cause I love listening to her, it’s cause she’s a one of a kind, super rare talent. My one friend pointed out the actual notes she’s belting like it’s a fuckin’ hiccup. ‘Ain’t no thang. I’m Amber fuckin’ Riley. What? Can’t everybody belt that?’ That’s what I imagine she thinks when she pulls off shit like this. Also, one of my students ALWAYS requested this for warm-ups because “she’s so fucking amazing”. And despite the profanity, I was so proud of him for realizing that, even though he was a 16 year old popular-ish boy and she wasn’t the cheerleader or super popular hot chick on the show. And watching my students reacting to her in this and praising her. All of that combined made me go “how did I miss this? Normal people can’t sing that way.”

Will just found the pregnancy pad. Oh shit. Shit’s about to get real. Terri did tell a very convincing lie, without batting an eyelash about how it was just so she could try on clothes for the coming months. That says a lot.

This scene is good. To the point it makes me uncomfortable.

“This marriage works because you don’t feel good about yourself!”

“Quinn Fabray”. Ugh. I can’t even imagine being Will in that moment. How deceived and betrayed he must feel. Man. I’m uncomfortable watching this.

It drives me nuts when people bring up promises made under false pretenses. Terri brings up now how Will promised to remember how happy they were and that they loved each other…at the fake ultrasound. Yeah. Your lie negates the promise, idiot. Rachel does something similar in regards to “you said you’d never break up with me” to Finn in season 2 after she cheats with Puck. People are fools.

Seriously though, how does Will not even question those mattresses and just bust one out. And couldn’t he have slept on it without taking it out of the plastic? High maintenance much? ;) Honestly though, if I found a stack of MATTRESSES delivered to my drama club kids saying “thanks for all your hard work”..I’d raise a fuckin’ eyebrow and question what they’d done to earn that. It’s sort of suggestive, is it not? Or do I just have a dirty mind?

haha. Something I’ve always loved about this moment when Sue overhears the mattress commercial at the tv studio is that moment where she thinks she just hears Rachel Berry near. Her reaction, and me always thinking “what would I do if I thought I heard Rachel Berry outside of the one place I’m forced to have to” always makes me laugh.

“oooohhhh, I got nuttin’ to say to you, preggo.”

They’re disqualified from Sectionals!!?? Oh no! Lol. This was before I knew what RIB was capable of. When I thought they’d go the honorable, legit route with this show. I was wracking my brain to figure out how they’d get out of this one. Oh how wrong I was.

“And what if I were to innocently murder you, William?”

“I’m sorry, but Glee club is over.” “It’s. OVER!” Dun dun dun!

“It’s like looking at a porno star in a nun’s habit.” re: pregnant Quinn in her Cheerios uniform. Amazing. 

Season tickets to Cedar Point!! Yay for accuracy, Glee!

Listen. Quinn has a lot of rage. She’s talking to Sue like she’d talk to Rachel or some other underclassmen ‘loser’.

Quinn just quit Cheerios sorta to be in Glee club instead. We’ll find out, but my memory is that she’ll start wishing she was back on that squad and complaining about it real soon. No?

Okay. HOW is Will disqualified for being paid for what he does…when he gets PAID to RUN the Glee Club? Makes noooo sense. He should be fine.

Charlie Chaplin Smile. Such a sad song. This montage is so good though. It’s one of those times Glee kinda moved me. I got choked up. And my heart dropped to see people defacing this photo when they’d all taken a step forward and were so proud. This is hard to watch right now with Glee Graduation mere days ahead. :(

Also, I miiiight still listen to this song when I’m having a hard day to try to turn it around. Good song.

Aw, Karofsky figured out how to spell loser. Good for him.

Okay, so I’m pausing this to take a look at the comic brilliance of these cool kids defacing the picture. They gave Santana a pitchfork. No shit, Sherlock. They’ll all call her Satan in Glee soon enough. They gave Kirt a skirt and boobs. Cause he’s gay. Brilliant. :/ They gave Finn buck teeth. Matt got a fro (RACIST!). Puck got devil horns. Mercedes got…a cigar? No, giant buck teeth and…a lollipop? They drew a happy face on Tina (? The fuck?). Nothing to Mike Chang or Britany. Artie got devil horns and a mustache. Rachel got a pitchfork. Quinn got..a giant Rabbi beard? They crossed out Rachel’s face and wrote ‘lame’ with an arrow pointing to her. This is the most UNcreative defacing ever. I’m disappointed. Be better bullies! Or funnier ones at least! SOLOS: Rachel (3), Finn (3), Mercedes (1) MERCEDES TAKES THE GLORY NOTE: 3rd time

[mastcomm]

After Kobe Bryant’s Death, Brands Are Treading Lightly

Amid the tributes to Kobe Bryant on Sunday — dedications at the Grammy Awards, condolences from presidents, messages written on the sneakers of N.B.A. players — there was a Twitter post from the blockchain company Tron Foundation.

“Kobe is a member of the TRON Family,” it said. “As such, we will be dedicating @niTROnSummit’s festivities to his legendary life & legacy.”

Mr. Bryant’s only public interaction with the company was a speaking engagement at its 2019 conference, and the replies to the tweet were filled with complaints calling Tron opportunistic for capitalizing on what seemed to be a tenuous relationship so soon after he was killed in a helicopter crash with eight others, including his daughter Gianna.

The negative reaction suggested that companies must be tactful as they try to memorialize Mr. Bryant. A hasty social media post can bring accusations that they are trying to cash in at a sensitive time.

“There’s no playbook for this one; the sponsors are going to tread incredibly lightly,” said Jeremy Carey, the managing director of Optimum Sports, the sports media and marketing division of the advertising giant Omnicom Media Group. “It’s all too soon.”

Justin Sun, Tron’s founder and chief executive, said his company’s tweet was heartfelt. “I totally understand that there will be different voices from the community, but this is from the bottom of my heart, needing to do the right thing,” he said. “No matter what, we needed to pay tribute to him.”

Like an earlier on-court superstar, Michael Jordan, Mr. Bryant was a gifted marketer away from the game. He earned more from his deals with companies than he did from his salary, according to Forbes, and his success helped shape how current players like LeBron James and Stephen Curry navigate the celebrity endorsement business. Mr. Bryant was a student of the discipline as well, as he showed when he sat in on an international marketing class at Boston College in 2014.

These days, companies have made themselves relevant to customers by quickly responding to news cycles. When an installation featuring a banana taped to a wall at Art Basel drew an intense social-media reaction, companies pumped out online parody ads. When Tesla found itself trending on social media after unveiling its Tesla Cybertruck, Lego posted a photo making fun of it. And shortly after Twitter users deemed a recent Peloton commercial sexist, the “Deadpool” star Ryan Reynolds pulled together a response ad for his Aviation American Gin company.

But companies have learned through hard experience to be cautious when it comes to news cycles dominated by celebrity deaths. In 2016, the footwear maker Crocs drew complaints after marking David Bowie’s death with an image of a lightning bolt, inspired by the musician’s “Aladdin Sane” album cover, layered over a white shoe. The Mexican airline VivaAerobus drew similar outrage for posting a photo of a similar lightning bolt on a plane.

Later that year, to mark the death of Prince, Cheerios posted an image of the words “Rest in peace,” with a single Cheerio dotting the “i” in the word “in.” After a backlash, Cheerios hit delete. Maker’s Mark went with an image showing the distinctive red top of its bourbon bottle turned purple, Prince’s signature color. Annoyed fans noted that Prince did not drink alcohol. Other companies, including 3M, Getty Images and Pornhub, were also accused of exploiting his passing to promote their products.

Despite that, several insurance companies have offered their condolences to Mr. Bryant’s family in recent days, and the Seminole Hard Rock hotel in Florida lit itself up in Lakers purple and gold.

Other companies, especially those that worked with Mr. Bryant, opted for a milder approach: a black-and-white photo paired with a statement honoring his life and expressing concern for the families of the victims.

Nike, which has been linked to Mr. Bryant for nearly two decades and helped popularize his “Black Mamba” nickname, cited his “immeasurable impact” and made no mention of a recently updated sneaker design called Kobe V Protro Chaos.

Adidas, which sponsored Mr. Bryant when he was a teenager and produced shoes in his name, described him as “a true legend.” The BodyArmor sports-drink maker said Mr. Bryant, a significant investor in the company, was “an incredible friend.”

McDonald’s, which let a sponsorship deal with Mr. Bryant expire after he was accused of sexually assaulting a woman in 2003, posted a message “honoring his greatness” on a corporate Twitter account devoted to McDonald’s All-American Games, a high school basketball tournament.

Sprite, which stopped running ads featuring Mr. Bryant after the 2003 accusation, did not publicly comment on his death. (The criminal case against Mr. Bryant was dropped in 2005. He settled with his accuser, and the terms of the settlement were not disclosed.)

Several organizations without ties to Mr. Bryant have also accommodated the news. Planters announced that it had paused its pre-Super Bowl paid-advertising campaign, a stunt featuring the mascot Mr. Peanut dying in a car crash. Google, Mountain Dew, Olay and Pop-Tarts pushed back plans to reveal their ads for the Super Bowl.

“You want to be sensitive at a time like this,” said Shaina Wiel, a longtime marketing professional who founded the Minorities in Sports Business networking group. “It’s part of a larger conversation: How do brands fit into these situations?”

Marketing was central to Mr. Bryant’s public persona. Commercials portrayed him as goofy and approachable. He lip-synced to Bob Seger’s “Old Time Rock and Roll” alongside other sports stars for a Guitar Hero ad in 2008. He tried to one-up the soccer star Lionel Messi in a Turkish Airlines spot that was voted YouTube’s ad of the decade in 2015. He let Apple describe him in a cheeky ad in 2016 as being “locked in a battle with Father Time.”

He started Granity Studios, a multimedia company focused on sports-related content, and won an Oscar for an animated short film. He co-founded Bryant Stibel, an investment firm, and funded companies like the Fortnite maker Epic Games. And he encouraged children to pursue sports in an ad for Project Play, an initiative from the nonprofit think tank Aspen Institute.

Now fans are petitioning the N.B.A. to change its logo — inspired by another former Lakers star, Jerry West — to feature Mr. Bryant’s image.

“He created this gray area, establishing that it wasn’t just about stamping his name on a pair of shoes,” Mr. Carey said. “He changed the game for a lot of athletes. He set a new bar for business beyond basketball.”

from WordPress https://mastcomm.com/after-kobe-bryants-death-brands-are-treading-lightly/

[mastcomm]

After Kobe Bryant’s Death, Brands Are Treading Lightly

Amid the tributes to Kobe Bryant on Sunday — dedications at the Grammy Awards, condolences from presidents, messages written on the sneakers of N.B.A. players — there was a Twitter post from the blockchain company Tron Foundation.

“Kobe is a member of the TRON Family,” it said. “As such, we will be dedicating @niTROnSummit’s festivities to his legendary life & legacy.”

Mr. Bryant’s only public interaction with the company was a speaking engagement at its 2019 conference, and the replies to the tweet were filled with complaints calling Tron opportunistic for capitalizing on what seemed to be a tenuous relationship so soon after he was killed in a helicopter crash with eight others, including his daughter Gianna.

The negative reaction suggested that companies must be tactful as they try to memorialize Mr. Bryant. A hasty social media post can bring accusations that they are trying to cash in at a sensitive time.

“There’s no playbook for this one; the sponsors are going to tread incredibly lightly,” said Jeremy Carey, the managing director of Optimum Sports, the sports media and marketing division of the advertising giant Omnicom Media Group. “It’s all too soon.”

Justin Sun, Tron’s founder and chief executive, said his company’s tweet was heartfelt. “I totally understand that there will be different voices from the community, but this is from the bottom of my heart, needing to do the right thing,” he said. “No matter what, we needed to pay tribute to him.”

Like an earlier on-court superstar, Michael Jordan, Mr. Bryant was a gifted marketer away from the game. He earned more from his deals with companies than he did from his salary, according to Forbes, and his success helped shape how current players like LeBron James and Stephen Curry navigate the celebrity endorsement business. Mr. Bryant was a student of the discipline as well, as he showed when he sat in on an international marketing class at Boston College in 2014.

These days, companies have made themselves relevant to customers by quickly responding to news cycles. When an installation featuring a banana taped to a wall at Art Basel drew an intense social-media reaction, companies pumped out online parody ads. When Tesla found itself trending on social media after unveiling its Tesla Cybertruck, Lego posted a photo making fun of it. And shortly after Twitter users deemed a recent Peloton commercial sexist, the “Deadpool” star Ryan Reynolds pulled together a response ad for his Aviation American Gin company.

But companies have learned through hard experience to be cautious when it comes to news cycles dominated by celebrity deaths. In 2016, the footwear maker Crocs drew complaints after marking David Bowie’s death with an image of a lightning bolt, inspired by the musician’s “Aladdin Sane” album cover, layered over a white shoe. The Mexican airline VivaAerobus drew similar outrage for posting a photo of a similar lightning bolt on a plane.

Later that year, to mark the death of Prince, Cheerios posted an image of the words “Rest in peace,” with a single Cheerio dotting the “i” in the word “in.” After a backlash, Cheerios hit delete. Maker’s Mark went with an image showing the distinctive red top of its bourbon bottle turned purple, Prince’s signature color. Annoyed fans noted that Prince did not drink alcohol. Other companies, including 3M, Getty Images and Pornhub, were also accused of exploiting his passing to promote their products.

Despite that, several insurance companies have offered their condolences to Mr. Bryant’s family in recent days, and the Seminole Hard Rock hotel in Florida lit itself up in Lakers purple and gold.

Other companies, especially those that worked with Mr. Bryant, opted for a milder approach: a black-and-white photo paired with a statement honoring his life and expressing concern for the families of the victims.

Nike, which has been linked to Mr. Bryant for nearly two decades and helped popularize his “Black Mamba” nickname, cited his “immeasurable impact” and made no mention of a recently updated sneaker design called Kobe V Protro Chaos.

Adidas, which sponsored Mr. Bryant when he was a teenager and produced shoes in his name, described him as “a true legend.” The BodyArmor sports-drink maker said Mr. Bryant, a significant investor in the company, was “an incredible friend.”

McDonald’s, which let a sponsorship deal with Mr. Bryant expire after he was accused of sexually assaulting a woman in 2003, posted a message “honoring his greatness” on a corporate Twitter account devoted to McDonald’s All-American Games, a high school basketball tournament.

Sprite, which stopped running ads featuring Mr. Bryant after the 2003 accusation, did not publicly comment on his death. (The criminal case against Mr. Bryant was dropped in 2005. He settled with his accuser, and the terms of the settlement were not disclosed.)

Several organizations without ties to Mr. Bryant have also accommodated the news. Planters announced that it had paused its pre-Super Bowl paid-advertising campaign, a stunt featuring the mascot Mr. Peanut dying in a car crash. Google, Mountain Dew, Olay and Pop-Tarts pushed back plans to reveal their ads for the Super Bowl.

“You want to be sensitive at a time like this,” said Shaina Wiel, a longtime marketing professional who founded the Minorities in Sports Business networking group. “It’s part of a larger conversation: How do brands fit into these situations?”

Marketing was central to Mr. Bryant’s public persona. Commercials portrayed him as goofy and approachable. He lip-synced to Bob Seger’s “Old Time Rock and Roll” alongside other sports stars for a Guitar Hero ad in 2008. He tried to one-up the soccer star Lionel Messi in a Turkish Airlines spot that was voted YouTube’s ad of the decade in 2015. He let Apple describe him in a cheeky ad in 2016 as being “locked in a battle with Father Time.”

He started Granity Studios, a multimedia company focused on sports-related content, and won an Oscar for an animated short film. He co-founded Bryant Stibel, an investment firm, and funded companies like the Fortnite maker Epic Games. And he encouraged children to pursue sports in an ad for Project Play, an initiative from the nonprofit think tank Aspen Institute.

Now fans are petitioning the N.B.A. to change its logo — inspired by another former Lakers star, Jerry West — to feature Mr. Bryant’s image.

“He created this gray area, establishing that it wasn’t just about stamping his name on a pair of shoes,” Mr. Carey said. “He changed the game for a lot of athletes. He set a new bar for business beyond basketball.”

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